#GIVE ME THE GOOD HORRORS HIRSCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[whoslaurapalmer]

preordered. oh my godddddddd like I 100% can wait until july but also GODDDDD I HAVE TO WAIT FOR JULY

[prettyinpwn]

What is your opinion on Filbrick Pines?

Oh boy... long story short, my opinion on him is pretty low, not gonna lie. I went into his character a lot in my analysis post on Ford's writing (found here), since Filbrick had a large effect on Stan and Ford's characters, even if only in subtle ways. To summarize my points on Filbrick:

Definitely abusive, in my opinion. I don't think physically, but for sure emotionally and mentally. He's the type of father who provided materially, but otherwise didn't seem very good at it.

Was way too focused on money. Now, I think it's very possible that Filbrick could have a great backstory reason for this. My biggest guess is a life of poverty and wanting to provide better for his family, but the cruel irony is that in seeking wealth, he hurt his family (e.g "Stanley, by "sabotaging" Ford you hurt our whole family, because he was going to make us millions, so I'm gonna throw you out, ignoring the fact that by throwing you out I'm currently hurting the family in the way I'm accusing you of."). He also hurt Ford. The way Filbrick treated Ford was like a Willy Wonka golden ticket. "Oh, you're smart? This college might make you a millionaire? I'm impressed!". He didn't care about what Ford wanted, he cared about what Ford's brains could get him. Case in point: he didn't seem to give a rat's ass about Ford's brains or college dreams until the principal implied it could make money.

Iirc, according to Hirsch, the quote Stan says in Little Gift Shop of Horrors ("Movies are great! You watch the movie, you scare the girl, the girl snuggles up next to you, next thing you know you gotta raise a kid. Your life falls apart. Forget that last part.") was actually something Filbrick used to say. Like DEAR GOD Filbrick said that in front of Stan and Ford? "Hey kids, my life was great until I got your ma knocked up with Shermie, and then my life was pure suck after that.". Like... who... who just says that in front of their kids? Who even THINKS that about their kids? Yikes.

The way Stan and Ford are named. The code at the end of A Tale of Two Stans is played as a joke, but when you think about it, it's... kinda sad. "A STUBBORN TOUGH NEW JERSEY NATIVE, FILBRICK WASN'T TOO CREATIVE, HAVING TWINS WAS NOT HIS PLAN, SO HE JUST SHRUGGED AND NAMED BOTH STAN.". Filbrick did not give a single f*ck. "Oh, I have twins? Eh, I'm too lazy to think about a name, just call 'em practically the same thing.". What father does this?

In the post I linked above, I also hinted at how I thought Bill's manipulations of Ford almost were a mirror echo of Filbrick (even in their character design, it's odd how they both have yellow brick and blue with hats themed designs, he's got the literal word 'brick' in his name, etc). Because when you think about it, what did Ford's father teach him but "you are a puppet to be used by me to get what I want"?

There's a reason Ford and Stan are incredibly broken people, and it all started with Filbrick. He's the one that taught Stan to believe he's worthless and a f*ckup, and the one that taught Ford that he's a tool to be used. So... nah, not a fan of the guy, if I didn't make that obvious already lol. BUT... I will say this, as this is something I did give him credit for in my Ford analysis post: a lot of Ford and Stan's positive qualities are things he passed down to them, namely their protectiveness of family and "toughness". But unlike Filbrick, who manifested that in toxic ways, Stan and Ford took a heavy albatross necklace of generational trauma and turned it around to a positive.

This goes even further when Stan passes the lesson to Dipper. Dipper learning to "fight back"? That's a family lesson that comes from Filbrick, originally, when he signed Stan and Ford up for boxing. Some have criticized the way Stan taught Dipper that lesson, but you can't argue with the end result:

TL;DR: Filbrick mostly sucks, but... like most well-written characters, he does have some gray area. Was he a good father? No. But the gauntlet meat grinder he put Ford and Stan through - worth it or not - made them the tough family protectors they are as adults. I will give him that, at least.

[popculturebuffet]

The Book of Bill Review: Bye Everyone He'll Remember You All in Therapy (Comission for Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people and man it's good to be back. After a week's vacation i'm recharged and ready to plunge back into reviewing stuff. For those of you new here i'm Jake, I review various media , mostly cartoons and comics.

Over a week off filled with batman, persona 5, more batman, Truthful Timmy the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon, and more, I picked up a certain book since my money dropped: Yes folks thanks to a generous friend who also enjoyed the hell out of this book it's time to talk about mildly curesed new york times #1 bestseller The Book of Bill.

The Book of Bill is the latest in something Disney has been doing for a while, some of the only merch they really make for their telveision animation series: Journals! Specifically books following a character from the show in the first person and helping drop some juicy lore. I naturally have all three previous major ones: Journal 3, The Big Book of Spell and Marcy's Journal. There was also one for Ducktales I need to get at some point and an early Star Vs book, but these big three are the important ones, making real books from the show canon and not only being cool props to own, but also nice bits of canon after the show ended. Or in star vs case as the show slowly burst into flames.

Book of Bill continues that trend yet also breaks it: This book is coming out 8 years after the series ended, is an entirely new creation, and is geared towards adults even having a warning label. Granted it's more a pg-13 than the hard r said warning label implies but the fact disney is acknowledging a product from less than 15 to 20 years ago has nostalgic fans is a victory in itself.

And said victory was followed by an even bigger one with the book recently topping the New York Times bestseller list, even topping "we gotta see what that couchfucker is about just in case". This is a huge victory lap that makes me hope we'll get even more content from various disney shows in book form. At the very least it makes the owl house art book an even easier sell and at most i'm hoping Owl House gets more content now, and I wouldn't say no to Hirsch returning to gravity falls if he has another idea. While i'm used enough to Disney's bullshit to see them ignoring this obvious sign, it could really get them to take kids content from this era more seriously or at least try to get it's creators back to get more of that sweet dollar dollar bill ciphers ya'll. Either way this could be a great thing.

Even if it dosen't lead to more books, Book of Bill is great on it's own and something i'm happy to dive into. And since I know it's harder to get the book outside of the us this is also a chance for those of you outside it to get a peak inside. So let's begin as tonight it's gonna get weird.

Book of Bill is diffrent from the other books in that while it follows a narrative, the first half is mostly just bill shenanigans while the second gives us his history from when he was a baby boy baby to he and Ford's messy breakup involving live snakes, it's a small world and jars of spiders.

It works perfectly too: I forgot how much fun bill was till he burst through the page to greet me

Like bill himself the book deftly ballances comedy and horror. Like gravity falls it leans more to the former, as most of bills antics are just him being unsettling and charming as always, but we get plenty of truly disturbing stuff from his collection of heads to a mouth suddnely popping up demanding blood to this lovely bit showing all the many realities where the pines kids didn't exactly win

Also yeah, outside of Bill's fate, the book dosen't move past where Gravity Falls was on the timeline in the extended Disney Television Universe. It does firmly confirm it's all one universe as we get some refrences to owl house with some tapestry showing off the titan and my boy

As well as a cameo we'll get to later. But it's clear Hirsch, for now has no plans to tell us what happened to errybody after the show aside from bill himself and honestly? That's fine. I'd rather he did a full revivial or book about it at some point than drop it in here and before the nightmare fuel sets in the sleep image of the two on the bus with waddles is adorable.

Back on point the book will hit you with horror well but is maily just a non stop parade of good jokes for the first half. The framing device is simple: Bill created this book and Ford found it shortly before he and Stan went off to make movies, make songs and fight around the world. He tried destroying it but befitting spooky books it kept coming back and so he put in an ash williams style warning telling the reader for the love of god don't read more. And like that idiot from evil dead 2013, I didn't listen and pressed on as i'm sure any of you who got the book did too. I mean we already paid our 20 some dollary doos right?

So the book has bill giving the reader advice, trying to trick them and general other wacky nonsense. This book is DENSE with jokes, and there was hardly a page that wasn't meant to be truly horrifying that didn't have one on it. And sometimes even them. Highlights for me from the first half include his self interview where he deflects being phineas' father, dating a howling void and other hot goss, his entire chapter on silly straws (if you murder someone with one it becomes a serious straw), his having you murder an elf for him, dividing a number and brutally murdering it, and Ford claming he'll tell you how to turn ducks into nuclear bombs.. with Bill doing that immediately after and likely being fully aware of what he was doing.

My faviorite bits are him fleshing out his "reality is a hologram" statment

Every bit of this joke works from me from the reveal, to perfectly nailing the classic pokemon trading card style for this gag. Good stuff. Also not sure why the multiverse has only 50 hp, better not to ask.

The other bit I love the most is bill trying to help the readers love life with advice so good it got this book classified as advice

And helping the love cage with some wonderful bilintines

I"m sending I don't want to die alone to my next crush!

This section really is just a vehicle for jokes and general bill chaos for the most part and it does so gloriously. If you liked bill, your gonna love this thing and if you love him.. he'll never love you back but you'll still enjoy this.

The first half does have a few little pitterpats of lore. One of the biggest.. is that we get more dipcifica

Also Dipper's search history as a whole and while some parts I'd rather forget if my brain would let me, there's a lot of good gags here. But yeah Pacifica Northwest Pagent Video. man is crushing. And also mildly creepy but it's still a step up from looking up Wendy's instagram and other things i'd rather not get into because

This segment goes into the casts dreams, most in depthly Dipper, Mabel and McGucket. That last one is just a really hautning page of how much of a tornado his mind is ... bill BARELY got out. Dipper is naturally bill laughing at his embarassment and revealing he put a bunch of fake author images in his head for funzies.

Mabel on the other hand is one of the funniest segments in the entire book as well as revealing exactly HOW he concoted the scheme. A nice thing we get , and that explains why he gave her her own fifedome.. is that bill actually likes mabel as a person. he likes her chaos, loves watching her dreams which is creepy but for him is about as close to kind as he can get. Problem is he went in AFTER the whole Sock Opera mess, so she hates him. Thankfully the people guarding her dreams are Xyler and Kraz, nature's perfect himbos. So he simply gives himself a hat and blonde hair, a neat jacket and the name chill cipher and gets them on board by eating his skateboard. And to his horror has to do a montage from saying no to drugs to teaching a dinosaur with shades to beleivie in himselef. Just imainging bill doing an over the top 80s montage while having the most pissed off uncomfortable look in the world.. it's going to help me sleep at night.

We also find out he found Mable's deepst darkest fantasy... a tape of Mariah Carrey's fantasy.

It's a genuinely good gag and bill finds out from them how down in the dumps she are, her wanting to let summer last etc.. and thus you can thank these himbos for the apocalypse.

Otherwise the only other little tidbits are in a bit on various dreams. We find out Ford is in love with logic (Bill quips he'd be a plansexual which.. accurate), Soos wants to change his name to pins, and Pacifica.. is suffering horrible ptsd. The big bit though is that dipper walked in on a conversation between his parents about something he wouldn't hear and Bill implies it was why they sent them away. It COULD be divorce, it could be somethign else entirely it's honestly hard to tell given both how little we get and the fact it's bill. Bill's about as trustworth as a snake wearing a top hat

On second thought make that Snake mayor stat.. then god emperor.

But yeah you can't really TRUST bill but it's a nice little seed of info nonetheless and it'd be weird if I didn't talk about it. That said I don't have much to say about it. The kids parents MIGHT have had a rough marraige though that would make sense why they cling to each other so much and make Mable's desperation to keep her brother around even more heartbreaking, so i'm all for it.

So then we get to that sweet juicy lore we woudln't stop bugging Alex for: Bill's history. And this may be my faviorite part of the book simply because there's a LOT of good gags and great visuals tucked in here. A crapton of artists who were VERY good at making something look real enough, as well as GF Vetran Emmy Ciecerga who drew all the gravity falls style art for this book and deserves a LOT of credit, make this book look gorgeous. There's all kinds of styles, from 20's newsclippings to photos to disturbing bill images, all of which needed a great graphic design to it. While none of the books so far are slouches in graphics, journal three itself looked gorgeous, this is far and way the best looking of them so far. Since it's bill their not constrained to one style, like marcy's was mimicking her art style (And later Anne's for her third of the book), journal 3 was. Book of Spells has come closest having each queen have a unique style but it still held to star vs.

This being bill this book goes all over the place: you've got brain teasers, photos, photoshopped nightmarish heads, a reaslitic mouth wanting your blood, all kinds of visual trickery that fits what a visually gorgeous nightmare bill could be. Like the other style, a very chaotic style that oscelates from people magazine to several pages of the great gatsby to punish you for wanting to know his weaknesses (get gatsby'd sucker!) all without breaking a sweat.

The history of bill section is where it really gets to shine once he gets to earth.. but before that.. we adress the elephant in the room. What happened to his home dimension?

Yeah one of the biggest bits of narrative blue balls of book of bill is we don't learn hardly anything about the second dimension and learn NOTHING about how it actually died. Both make perfect sense enough narratively to work and it's clear Alex, while great about answering the shows bigger and more importnat mysteries and not just jerking the audience about, does like to keep some things a mystery. The kids parents, shermy pines, why was thor crying that kind of stuff. While I WANTED an answer for my own works, I respect that it honestly worked better to not get one. We get just enough: bill climas to have been well loved by all in the way a flashback would show he wasn't, having seen the third dimension. It adds layers to him and ford's later friendship: both were outcasts with no one at one point or another. But Stanford at least had stan for a while before he was a dick about things.. bill seemingly had no one and is active denial he was hated and feared.

So he tried to merge dimensions.. and we have no idea exactly WHAT happened.. but not knowing.. is more horrifying. Bill tries to retell it but blacks out

It's very clear Bill has ptsd.. and somehow used urkel to kill people. I feared this day would come but never thought such a dread weapon would wind up in the worst hands imaginable.

It's a great section and I honestly like this... it makes the clear bait and switch work as alex knew what we wanted.. but gave us something more fitting the character.. the one moment bill GENINELY regrets.. but due to eons of lying to himself can't admit. He twisted the narrative to be that he freed a bunch of squares when really it was his first mass murder and the only one he clearly still feels bad about. While he was likely always a tad weird, this event is what snapped him into the monster he is, convicning himself their better this way and he did the right thing instead of truly dealing with his guilt. Bill has lied to himself so much he blacks out when even thinking abotu the truth because if he really thought abotu what he did and what happened, he'd have to rethink his whole sense of self. And Bill can't do that because he's built his whole self worth into his ego after this. That he was specail they just didn't get it and it's to the point he can't even be honest that he wasn't liked> he always had ot be great and special. It's honestly.. sad more than anything. That had bill not done this or simply not made what seems like an honest mistake just not to be alone he may of simply been able to escape and find kinship in ways that didn't involve gaslighting and evil overlord ship.

Sadly he did so we find out he found the nightmare dimension , conquered ita nd slowly gathered his henchmaniacas. We find out little btis; 8 ball has a crush on pyronica, pyronica wants to fuck smokey the bear for the sick thrill of pulling it off

A

Teeth is more a team pet.. all stuff i'm glad we have simply because the henchmaniacs never got fleshed out. Pyronica also has a phd. Bill also has a lawyer named dan crabbleman he uses as a scapecrab because of course. His version of peter I suppose.

Eventually though the good times stopped; While they had nightmare dimension prom (death toll 300), it ultimately was found the dimensionw as dying and we find out HOW bill ended up here and why he hates the time baby so much. .

Now granted the section with the time baby, only a few pages.. didn't do much for me. I've never really been a fan of the time baby: he comes off at least a touch evil, if less here since ANYONE comes off less evil when compared to bill, and the only joke they seem to have is he acts like a baby but is an elder god or something. He's one of the weaker weridos our heroes encountered.

Thankfully bill defeats him and the dinsoaurs would rebound eventually

And we'd only have to deal with time baby a few times after this before Bill kills him

So we then find out why Bill was spread about history. Turns out, not suprisingly, he landed in gravity falls which was perfect for his nonsense. In 30 Million BC he found a small tribe and befriended it's local shaman.. then kinda killed that good will when his first portal created the bottomless hole, let loose sea monsters and killed a lot of people.

This is also where something clever about the book comes about, something I hadn't noticed in the show till Bill's history made it clear: While Bill CAN manipulate a person fairly well he has a huge weakness besides tin foil or techno: He dosen't care enough to hide how unhinged he is. Bill by this point in the story, after eons of self denial and surrounding himself with people who either enable him or he tortured until they enabled him presumably, simply can't grasp that maybe giving a kid deer teeth or a head that's always scremaing isn't the way to make a good first or second impression.

And those moments from the show did set this up well: i'd always assumed he did that shit because it was fun. See the "Your insane!" "Sure I am what's your point?" exchange that's the second thing he ever says. But now I get it's .. well still part that, Bill likes fucking with people.. but it's also that he can't turn OFF his need to fuck with people. Even in this very book instead of giving genuine if shallow love advice he wants you to lock someone in a love cage or become johnny cobra arms. And I mean the second one is sound advice if you've got sufficent padding or a venom immunity, who dosen't want cobra arms, but this book really hammers home that Bill , while good at praying on people's desperation... is REALLY bad at actually keeping them on the hook unless their already as mad as he is or their desperate. He has one exception in ford but as this book, journal 3 and the series all establish.. Ford is also weird, dosen't really get people or social norms. Not saying all societal norms are good.. but maybe don't give your grandaughter a gun Sixer.

It dosen't detract from Bill's threat, as Ford comes to horrifying conclude later... no one actually BEAT bill pemrenantly. The shaman simply banished him and gave out the prophcey for the finale.. a prophecy that ended up not working. Bill constnatly gets shooed away or bribed by people to please shoo, shoo good sir shoo.. but it's not till stan after centuries of work on earth that someone actually BEAT him.

But it does humanize him, even if calling him human is not even a stretch it's just innacurate, but it's the term we got: Bill's ultimate weakness isn't his ego or collection of sily straws: it's that he simply CAN'T stop being him long enough for someone to actually buy into his shit. He actually had the founding fathers listneing.. until he called martha washington hot lips. He nearly gets the US Government to get him to the president.. but can't reissit talking about how fun it'd be to set all the nukes off at once. He makes a truly fun looking silly siphonies style cartoon.. but then it's time to relase the bees

Bill for better and for worse can't help but be himself. his schemes usually drive people to madness or away. He's good at preying on people's desperations and it ultimately needed him his three days of weirdmageddon.. but but he's not good at pulling the long con and only managed it once in his long career.

Thankfully while the book has plenty of great failures from bill from his computer to his do wop group the cipher tones (And the insuing country music backlash record calling him the devil. Please the devil threw him out because living with him is like living in a living nightmare).

There's a few slightly meatier episodes: There's his days in the dark ages.. and one of the few times someone actually got the better of him: he seemingly cons a dark wizard into joining him, sending some knights on a fetch quest to get his copy of monty python and the holy grail. How Disney got away with using the full title I have no idea but they did. God I hope it's not the same copy I have. Turns out though said wizard pulled a sandman and trapped him in a glass orb somehow woven with unicorn hair. Granted it does lead to bill goign on a rampage the second he's free but said rampage gets him banned from Europe so we'll call this one a draw.

The other is the anti cipheretes, a turn of the century group that means well and is engaging.. but sadly tried to preent their findings publicly and their leaders gets intionalized. It's honestly sad.. all this guy wanted was bill out of his head and they lost.

There's also said Silly Symphonies detour where the walt disney expy uses it's a small world (not named directly but barley disguised) to drive bill out.

It's another fun section, filling things in and letting bill fuck with history. He even gets a genuinely heroic moment

Yeah Bill deals with the puritans.. and they piss him off something bad, their lack of imagination making most useless to him, their society being horrifcally stuffy even by the cipher standard of "Stuffy assholes won't let me fill a theater with bees. Charlitans", so he helps an abused local housewive used as a footstool discover what laughter is and soon forms a coven. Said coven inacts a bloody coup, sure.. but it was puritan times, this is the only way a feminism could happen.

We then get the penultimate chapter in our story: At this point it's the 80's, do a lot of coke and vote for ronald regan and bill.. is at the end of his rope. His last scheme is easily one of my faviorites...

I know disney won't because they hate merch but I genuinely hoope a fan recreates these to own. Even the 3d model used here would be appricated for printing.

But then... fate threw bill a bone: he started laughing. Uncontrollably.. lights turned yellow his image was on every computer and breakfast cereal... someone.. opened up gravity falls again.

This is where Ford comes in: In a clever twist the next bulk is from Ford's perspective, with Bill having somehow found pages ford torn out. This is great for two reasons: the first is that it allows us to see their story more on the ground.. and the second is it's a resonable explination why pages that would've defintely told dipper who the author was were missing: Bill points out Ford tore them out due to his own shame and vanity. The former was on display in the last mablecorn, with him not telling dipper and only not getting mindwipped because the horrifying experinces recounted in those pages made him get a plate in his head. The second was in the book: Ford's biggest weakness and one Bill fully took advantage of.. was his ego. Ford thinks a LOT of himself and while he is impressive, it's his need to be seen, to be recognized after being ostrachized most of his life that makes him easy to play like a fiddle before bill and made him stubborn and dangerous after.

Ford can't admit he was wrong and had he left that vunerablity in there the show might of gone diffrently and weirdmageddon probably woudln't of happened.

It also covers in the one gap the journal glaringly left out, but again for plot reasons: that winter Ford was at his cabin. It's a geninely touching story: Ford feels lonely, and bad that he didn't get fiddleford anything before McGucket goes to see his wife back home, and spotted dipper and mable's footprints.. and ends up kidnapped by the krampus and having to rescue a bunch of children because of where he lives. What's heartwaring is fiddleford returns.. and while he fucked up his relationship by forgetting to get her a present, though the shippers certainly got one with this story arc, Ford decorates the portal to cheer him up.

The bulk though is about Bill and Ford: While Fiddleford IS his friend, he's gone a lot because he you know has a life. We see a side we didn't really see too much in the journal but makes sense: Lonliness. Ford is just too dang weird and awkward to be around people, can relate and bill takes full advantage of that. We get to see bill play full on manipulative boyfriend as he preys on Ford's ego, need to not be alone and subtly tries to isolate him when stan comes up and after the heartwarming moment above. It's neat to see just how things went wrong, how Ford got played by bill. Like I said Bill can't hide who he is.. but it works here as Ford dosen't get people so while creepy as hell, Bill leaving a giant pile of dead rats in his name for his brithday and getting him karoke drunk is not a red flag. You also get the sense that while bill isn't remotely a good friend, person or triangle, Bill WAS fond of ford, he genuinely liked the guy and gets shitfaced when eh dosen't on "i'm totally fine juice" and crashes an interdimensional mexican restraunt. Also props to alex I didn't know I needed to see Ford and Bill hammered on seperate occaions but here we are.

Naturally it goes south and the post breakup is easily the most serious part of the book. There's still some great jokes, but it shows how horrifying bill can be. His first actions are, after Ford installs his lab's retinal scanner to keep bill out (since the pupil thing isn't just stylistic, it really happens), he beats the poor guys knuckles bloody trying to claw his way out. He revivies Zombies to stop ford at the mourge as it turns out he can control ANYTHING with a brain. That does lead to a really awesome moment I didn't see coming as Ford admits he's missing him.. but his aim is getting better

Yes they called back to THAT of all things.

It's then things get terrifying: Bill starts writing on ford's post it notes, taking his body at intevals since Ford let him in.. and it's something I just never thought of: while we saw what he could do to dipper, we knew it was a bad idea and he was able to get him out pretty quickly. This segment.. shows what happens when bill can come and go as he pleases. Fordapparenly would just pass out for a second and wake pu with notes.. and when Bill got tired of the post it note tag.. he went a bit further with what's easily my faviorite joke of the whole book

It's just so bill. Grante did' be terrified and probably dead from such a stunt, but it's still just.. so damn perfect.

Ford gets him back with it's a small world after all.. only for us to get to the most unsettlign portion of the book. Ford wakes up on the roof and finds bill left a tape. And while a portion of bills shenanigans, memoralized with polaroid are just hilaroius, like slapping a cop or getting a baby girl tatoo.. we also get shit like eating a jar of spiders (And as an arachnophobe the sentence I keep coughing up siders is.. a lot for me ) and hammering his own hand. We'd seen this kind of shit with Dipper.. but this is what he'd do when he dosen't necessarily NEED the body for himself.

The lowest though is Bill.. trying to call stan. And trigger warning for his next image as it's ... pretty fucking rough.

Yes Bill.. nearly sent a suicide note to stan over the phone in ford's name. It's only sheer luck and likely some lawsuits that saved it but it just hits so hard. Even as much as Ford hates stan.. he dosen't want this and is truly terrified. It strips away the wacky nonsense of bill and gets right to the point: bill is gaslighting and abusing ford, even making him forget his own name for a second, until he gets what he wants. The earlier parts showed him playing the more manipulative roll of abuser but now.. we see what happens when bill goes full on petty and vindictive and there's nothing humorous about it.

Thankfully ford got the plate in his head, he called stan, you know the rest.

It's here the book reaches it's climax: Ford contacts the reader again.. but in a nice bit while he begged them before.. he can't blame them. THe post weridmageddon character development shown in journal 3 stuck: he was where they were. Not only that while he hid the book from his family they found it and instead of turning all into bills.. they just laughed. They'd all grown enough to just find his attempts at playing them funny. They all took his embarssing past in stride. As Stan perfectly puts it "So you messed up a bunch. Guess that really makes you a pines". Stan of all people has EVERY reason to never let ford live this down.. yet does because he gets it. Everyone fucks up and it helps Ford see he's human.. and so's bill. Well again eh's a triangle man but he's ultimately as Ford puts it "A sad theater kid desperate for attention". This book isn't some grand demonic tone: it's the sad last effort of someone who already lost.

We get some fun letters from each pines: dipper and mabel both encourage the reader, and Mabel, even if she threatens to fucking murder bill if he goes after her brother again.. even offers Bill tips on getting over ford. Dipper sympathizes with the reader and also threatens to murder him. And stan.. well stand does what he does best.. promote the mystery shack. Yes even when he's not the owner he can't help plug it. But he also gives bill the biggest kick to the nuts of all: he dosen't care. He hasn't had the personal trauma the others have and just sees bill as another werido trying to steal his wallet like every other thursday in this town. Stan Pines murdered one of the greatest villians in history.. and he somehow tops that by not even carring.

We get Bill screaming STANNNLEEEYYY again, having been beaten and the reader convinced not to swap places with bill. Not only that Stan and co also figured out something important: If bill isn't dead but IS trying to escape.. where he is cant be good.

And we finally find out what happened to him. Which is a mild suprise as while it's VERY nice we found out, as seen in the rest of the book alex is keen to keep some secrets close to the chest. He teased at bill's possible return: the statue in the finale, the axotitl he invokes showing up in a non canon choose your own adventure story, that sort of thing... but it wasn't guarnateed going into this book we'd learn. Thankfully Alex, as ever knows when to not tell us stuff and when it'd be a real dick move not to and not in a funny way.

Bill made a deal with the axitotl to reincarnate. For those less familiar, all two of you the axitotl is some mysterious god taking the shape of that adorable creature whose as kind and benevolent as that sounds and even gave BILL a second chance.

He isn't, thankfully stupid.. and thus after a lifetime of lopsided deals.. just like with Stan moments before making this one.. Bill gets hit with a bad one. And the thing is unlike Stan who just flat out tricked Bill like Bill played so many people, the Axitotl didn't lie: it told bill he'd have to repent. It was bill's own ego that assumed he could scheme his way out

Instead bill is now inside the Theraprism, a maximum security dimensional prison that takes all commers and is filled with sterotypical therapy activites like arts and craft and constant group sessions. And while a tad unsettling it's honestly.. nicer a fate than I expected. It's still pure hell for bill.. but the place isn't EVIL. it geninely wants to help it's patients, even the worst people imaginable and while there's things like a sensory deprevation void, it's clearly because this place is essentially arkham asylym but ran compitently and with actual care towards ehabilitation. To let those who genuinely repent reincarnate.. granted there are options like "cloud of spore sor a butterfly" but I get that maybe Freddy Kruger dose'nt need to come back as a wolverine and possibly maul faces. Let him get a chance at that third time around.

But for Bill.. a place to self reflect, heal and come back as something powerful.. as hell. There's no ESCAPE: whatever's running this place is clearly powerful enough to hold fucking BILL down. Darcy's helmet is there too in a nice little cameo and I wouldn't be suprised if every dead disney villian deemed enough of a threat was here. Honestly making Bill and Belos room together is the punishment they deserve. or belos does, Bill would get a kick out of having someone to torment so maybe just let him do it in moderatoin. As a treat if he participates in group.

It's Bill.. trapped in his own personal hell... a place he can't escape through manipulation, surrounded by people he dosen't respect, with the only way out being self reflection and a cursed arts and craft project that was quickly confiscated before it coudl take the reader. Bill's fate was already great in the show.. but this improves on it> Bil got conned twice and is trapped in a hell he could easily escape but never will because he just.. can't grow. He won't. He refuses to. His ego can't take it. So all that's left in the book is bill pathetically whimpering that SOMEONE wil lcome from him.. but with his henchmaniacs thinking he's dead and having spent his life burning bridges.. no one ever will.

This book is amazing. Read it if you can. A truly great little followup that fills in some gaps, is packed densely with jokes, has some really effective horror and has a truly amazing ending. Check it out if you haven't and if you can.

Thanks for reading

[daystarvoyage]

The Dana Terrace Vs Vivienne Medrano, The Great Debate of Two Female Creators

Hello Starry Knights, This is the lovely Kyoko Cane, The Brown Sugah Queen, & cosplayer who performs and visits numerous cons throughout, while making blogs/vlogs on animated media & entertainment.

as you know or are new to this page, I am an artist who also dedicated my fashion in drag, on all my platforms along my artwork & discussions (be it anime or Western) that can affect real-life even fandoms, with a variety of videos.

the title of the post is about The two proclaimed talked about animators, Dana Terrace & Vivienne Medrano, I'll be critiquing how these two women of animation tackle the industry. This will have strong opinions from recent interview videos I've watched.

(I'll be calling Vivienne VIVI FOR SHORT & letting you know, if I were to watch ones in the future affecting my post come on the comments to ask freely, AND YES ALL PROJECTS AND TOPICS ARE NOT WITHOUT THEIR CRITIQUES, FLAWS IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT, CHECK OUT THE DAYSTAR VOYAGE, DON'T HATE, APPRECIATE! )

OK LETS GET STARTED In this 3-part segment

1. The Different Artstyles That Made Us Love These Shows.

Vivis work (Helluva Boss & Hazbin Hotel)

Now We all know as fans & lovers of animation when we hear a series that's greenlit after viewing on a television screen, in a magazine, or sponsored in commercials, right? As for these two,

The first time I heard of VIVI's work was on a YouTube ad commercial in line & premiered for the pilot, I was fully captivated by its groundbreaking story, from hazbin hotel to the comedy in helluva boss, along with its ghoulish Beetlejuice-inspired art style.

(which I'm a sucker for the niche, indie projects & gothic horror.)

observing her sketchbook on YouTube, I was drawn in by the captivated humanoid shapes she sketches, along with her fluid & flowing style.

the worldbuilding version of heaven & hell drew me in, after watching hazbin hotel. The pilot had a lot to offer from its dreary horrific turns/obstacles from its character debut, story & distorted beauty that there was a lot to tune Into along my first episode of Helluva Boss,

Now we are gonna get down to lore storytelling and character growth.

(and im fully aware of how the fandom treats the rest of the main & supporting cast not letting them flesh out including the females, btw)

Vivi has so much to offer, after watching the latest episode of Helluva Boss and finishing Hazbin Hotel, I see she has the potential to make a good show on drama & sell it, however with her controversy coming through I feel she needs to learn on how to perceive herself online, so makes it hard for me not to hate her series, be it art and her work.

(its truly good when it wants to be as for the writing ima get to that later. with the stolitz & lumity discourse on part 2)

The owl House by Dana terrace

Now you all know by now, I am a full-on Owl House fan regardless of its show ending early, and my many critics on Dana Terrace drew me in with her macabre art and full-on passionate skeletal pieces after looking at her socials and sketchbook online, as a debut showrunner who made her great stance on lgbt representation she has cemented herself as an acclaimed cartoon creator.

However, she does have her flaws ever since rewatching the series, and a lot to learn about the business, after rewatching The Show and yes I have notes written to prove them,

To add I felt if alex Hirsch wasn't on the project, everyone wouldn't watch that show since yall want it to be the next GRAVITY FALLS,

I love the fandoms that discuss the errors of these creators cause it give more insight on how to portray yourselves on in the real world, cause lemme tell you, it was all watered down I'm get to that in a minute

one problem i have with particularly since she's a good artist & creator is her depending on certain tropes to carry out her cast, cause some may be harmful & the writing be generic.

She needs work on being a better showrunner cause those skills need Cleaning up including writing certain characters on who gets the spotlight.

NEXT SEGMENT

2. The Good, Great, Bad & Ugly in Fandom Discourse,

Vivis Work (Wow Yall can be Wow)

Vivienne Has made her mark in the YouTube market ever since making her pilot debut on Kesha video & hazbin hotel pilot,

I'm so glad for her contributions towards the indie market making her way to showing great representation in the general audience for an adult show, yes an adult show and that's not without its controversy,

with her grand debate, I feel everyone took this woman's artwork turning it into something ugly, which is so uncool.

and I for one will not stand for the hate trains of now popular shows flip-flopping and then float back to it cause your series is acclaimed now, let's be real she deserves her crowns and laurels Just keeping it real, regardless cause its a fire show

The fandom has shown their love of the show cause it knocked down so many doors in many ways, but let's be real the audience is now geared toward children cause we all know, this generation can be doing some crazy things, cause they all need to tone down the language,

which I feel viv needs to work on the jokes I get, it's an adult show which is concerning and it's a Gen Z world where people have access to computers 247, which contributes to all the nasty discourse and crass behavior not to mention,

viv needs to calm down her fans when it comes down to her work and the way stoliz is perceived.l can be questionable, not to mention how the females are written which I do know the key word for this below.

cause i rarely do find the females are compelling, but yet to fleshed out like the rest of the male characters so misogynist comes into mind in this show and how it sells

there some moments it only aims to the infamous ship Stolitz (and doesn't let other characters breathe (this is a problem with the owl house which ill get to right now cause the pacing is wow smh)

(next to the owl house which I'll get to cause OMG)

THE OWL HOUSE FANDOM (GRRRR) lemme calm down

If you haven't seen my posts, including the bashing and discourse there's also a list I swear lemme quote

in the words of Biggie Small - if you don't know now ya know.

The owl house fandom i was on ride or die for the lumity however we all know how that ship got it start and built up cause they expected it to be this thing to say F you to Disney which is good cause disney had it coming howver, after the show ended

Yall have become the most foulest ugliest & disrespectful fandom ever since the Steven Universe, Voltron and miraculous incidents,

its sad to see how these two franchises fell into the worse cases, the two creators may come across not caring of there fandom acts cause there's a saying

The captain always goes down with his ship MEANING

A captain should not have to sacrifice their life simply because the vessel they are in control of is in distress

There’s two fandoms such as Steven universe & voltron fell from grace into toxicity down below that are prime examples

The Owl House fandom has got to be some of the most entitled, uppity if not (racist) fans!

yall clearly have not listened to other fans or can't take criticism, yes the show did make very feminist undertones and the male characters didn't shine at all in their titular episodes or moments, which doesn't help at all.

Since Dana drew inspiration from Powerpuff Girls

(which comes on and the writers being all female, is gonna have damaging effects)

Cause stifled the male characters in a way where there not as prominent or impactful,

So this word MISANDRY comes to mind

The fandom has gone down to the point of no return, I mean,

one fan from a webcam interview WANTED DANA's ADDRESS EWWW!

its not that the Disney drama was too blame for the project, (to an extent) which I'm proud for the fandom for banding together on animation, but need to take off the lgbt glasses cause boy the show's writing was pushed in favor of that.

CONGRATS You did at the cause of Harassment and bad behavior in fandoms,

NEXT TOPIC

3. Make The Business Makes Sense & epilogue

THE OWL HOUSE

Dana Terrace has the makings of doing good shows however when it comes down to an audience to kid she has some major damage control on how the fandom will come across,

i mean have we not learned from the Lilith and Camilla toxic issues, you can tell the show likes to demonize the adults which is unacceptable, and can damage storytelling and characters.

the truth i feel there needs to be proper staff on how to write POC, and ethnic and cultural representation In the show, Amphibia, Molly mcgee, Haileys on it and other break-out shows did it better,

hell yo had Amphibia doing those dishes in Frogworld, can you imagine the boiling isles taking on Hispanic cuisine.

Which i felt could've hit a mark on luz home life and culture if written & fleshed out,

Like the staff didn't know how to write those topics, they've coulda gone so far with it but unfortunately fail flat not to mention the fashion. UGH

sigh.

ViVI WORKS ( i try not to make this quick but e can discuss more on comments be NICE)

Vivienne Medrano has good fashion and business sense

its important to have that cause having a Cloud Nine franchise coming from nothing can do wonders for how you are perceived as an artist,

The discourse has come due to her take on the controversy on platforms talking on her many harsh topics

(in my opinions she too needs to work on controlling scenarios & damage control that can affect her

So tried but yeah

vivi is a dominant artist who takes her business seriously so I am glad to have her flourish in Spindlehorse,

butt just i wish i cant help but fall outta love with her work, knowing of the problems in today's animation comes certain things you can say even snowflakes can break under if heard by there favorite creators.

lets be honest these two can learn from each other. and vivi does sure know angles and promoting

very glad to get this written so I put some thought into this

i wish nothing for the best for these awesome artists and creators thank you all for coming so far and have a wonderful voyage thanks.

[hkthatgffan]

NEW VIDEO ON MY CHANNEL!!

I recently had the chance to talk with Ethan Marak of Stoopid Buddy Stoodios, about his work on the Gravity Falls episode Little Gift Shop of Horrors.

He shared some great new info on the stop motion process and never before seen photos from the set.

Below is a transcript of what I asked and his answers...

1. How did you get involved with Gravity Falls and were you a fan of the show beforehand?

I was working as an Animation Director at Stoopid Buddy Stoodios when this project came my way. The studio producers would cast Animation Directors to projects that were a good fit, and my known love of classic stop-motion animation in the Ray Harryhausen style made them consider me for this job.

2. Alex Hirsch mentioned in the GF box set that they contacted you directly about working on the show? What was that process like?

As I recall Alex was very into the idea of using stop-motion for this episode and he was very enthusiastic and excited visiting the set and seeing all the puppets and sets. When we translate an established 2d animation to stop-motion, there are a lot of creative considerations and decisions that need to be made for the designs and animation style to work. As I remember Alex trusted us to guide that process, and was flexible with any small limitations that came up. 

3. Additionally, he mentioned that Disney originally did not want to do stop motion due to the cost and so Alex said he inquired about frame by frame costs and looked through everything that was done to see if it would fit the budget. How did that whole situation affect the filming and in turn, what was it like working with Alex and the GF team?

I wasn’t involved in any aspect of the budgeting for the project so I’m not sure what give-and-take with Disney occurred to make the numbers work for stop-motion. I don’t remember feeling like the shoot was under-funded.

4. How much creative freedom did you have in regards to the episode? Were things planned out beforehand or did the crew let you come up with ideas for the stop motion as you went along?

The team from GF provided character designs, storyboards and backgrounds. It was our job to create the puppets and shoot the animation in a way that fit into the background plates convincingly. I can’t remember for sure, but I think GF did the final compositing themselves. Everything is meticulously planned out in stop-motion animation, so that we don’t spend time building or shooting anything that isn’t going to be on screen. We had a lot of freedom as far as the style of the animation, and we were going for a cartoony look that worked for GF but also paid homage to Harryhausen, which meant paying more attention to the weight and subtleties than we might on other projects.

5. Were there any scrapped/deleted or cut aspects of the animation that did not make it into the episode? These can be scenes either planned out or animated that never made the final episode.

Not that I recall, no.

6. Would you be okay with sharing any behind the scenes photos, videos, memories, stories or more from your work on the episode that would be okay to be public now? These can be of the shoot, interesting stories or trivia about it, crew reactions, set up, etc. I understand completely if that is not possible but it would be great to learn about/see the animation process for this episode, the sets, characters, etc.

I’ll let you know if I ever find the behind the scenes photos I took. 

Side note: Ethan did find a ton of photos to send to me that you can access here or as I shared below...

However, there were several I was asked to not share, such as behind the scenes images of the character designs and storyboards of the animated version of the monsters that was used to help map out the movement of the stop motion. Those are internal works that are not allowed to be shared and I will sadly not be able to. That said, @robertryancory shared these designs of the character publicly years back that look very similar to what I was sent. But what I was shown were colorized versions and almost final looks of the characters.

7. Do you still own the models or sets made for this episode? If so, what condition are they in (and if possible could a photo(s) be provided)? 

I checked with the studio and as far as I can tell the puppets were given back to Disney at some point. There was a brief period where I remember the puppets were displayed in the lobby at Stoopid Buddy Stoodios.

8. Overall, what were your thoughts on working on Gravity Falls, the episode overall and the show later on? If Alex Hirsch or another GF crew member from it were to ask about helping in work on a new project, be it for GF or another show, would you do it?  

I really enjoyed working on the episode and it is a stand-out project for me! It came out really beautifully and the GF team was really kind and respectful to us, and genuinely interested in our process. I’d absolutely partner with Alex on something else if it came up. 

9. One extra question; Did you work on the mini stop motion bumper for Disney XD as well? If so, what was that like and what ideas were made for it that perhaps did not make the final promo?

Yes I directed that spot. It was another really cool project that gave us the ability to bring GF to life in stop-motion. The Stan puppet was amazing and looked so good- and our animators really brought him to life. We went though an extensive design process for the XD logo creature before deciding on the version you see in the spot. The goal was to make it look convincing as a taxidermy creation that Stan would have built, and to work in as many little eyeballs and body parts as possible that could move around.

BEHIND THE SCENES FOOTAGE OF THAT PROMO!

A huge thank you to Ethan for sharing this info and photos with me. Please do go check out his personal work on his Instagram, as it's some really cool retro stuff that I really loved checking out.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Good things that happened today:

Read ALL of Journal 3 in one sitting like a champion. Got some good bits of lore and--Oh, my gosh, so THAT'S how they reveal Dipper's real name? What a wholesome, family moment! I was actually nearly brought to tears because of how adorable it was! Dang, I miss Gravity Falls. Can Alex Hirsch just revived the series in some way, shape, or form already?

Watched Late Night with the Devil and Abigail. And while Abigail was downright stupid, Late Night might just be sticking with me for a bit, unfortunately. Curse you, Luthran upbringing and making me fear the devil and demons! But still, really great movie with fantastic acting. Give it a watch if you can get past the NINE OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCES--Holy shit...

Got a chance to mostly relax today. Nothing to do, nothing to write. Just...chill. And that's a good thing. Makes me wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow and it would all end...

Good things about myself:

I'm getting braver of watching horror movies, even if the effects unfortunately last a little long. Still, I'm getting better. Just, uh, maybe no more horror stuff for the next few months. I have to walk home now and it's that time of the year when it gets dark quicker. So...not fun.

I am getting better at voicing opinions.

I know how to stay out of a conversation when I know I should.

I let myself enjoy stuff more.

I am a better person.

[hbosucc]

Greg Hirsch x Reader: Chapter 4

Smut time!! This chapter is 18+, no minors should be reading.

Link to previous chapter

Chapter content warnings:

Sexual content between two consenting adults: fingering, p in v, protected sex (wrap it before you tap it guys be safe out there), slight power play (mdom, fsub, very light in this chapter but it is present)

Alcohol consumption

Swearing

As always, thank you for reading! Mwah xoxoxo

Chapter 4: Sleepover & The Morning After II

          “Jesus, that was…really fucking good,” He set his utensils down on the plate, sitting back in his chair.

          “Good. I’m glad you liked it,” I said. No sarcasm, no jokes. I was glad. I’d always loved cooking, especially for other people. Cooking for just myself was fine, but there’s a different kind of satisfaction that can only come from feeding someone else.

          “Do you want help with the dishes?” He asked as I stood and began clearing the table.

          “That’s okay, I’ll just leave them in the sink for now. Go pick out a movie, I’ll meet you on the couch in a sec.” I ran some water over the dishes in the sink, then grabbed our wine glasses and a new bottle and followed him.

          “What would you like to watch?” He looked up at me as I came over and handed him his glass.

          “Oh, I don’t know. It’s always so hard to pick, isn’t it?” I sank next to him on the cushions. “Do you want more wine?”

          “Sure, pour me up,” He said, his eyes on the screen, scrolling through the streaming services, so he didn’t notice my look of amusement. “I really can’t decide, honestly. You should pick something.”

          “Okay, fine, give me the remote.” I took it from him and continued scrolling. “You don’t have a favorite movie?”

          “I mean, I guess if I really thought about it, I could come up with something.” He furrowed his brow. “I haven’t had a lot of time to just, like, chill and watch a movie recently.”

          “They’re really trying to suck your soul out over there, huh?”

          “Yeah. Consider my soul…sucked, I guess?” He said, and we both laughed. It seemed like he was beginning to feel more comfortable around me; he had a much more relaxed vibe about him tonight. Maybe it helped that the truth about his job was out in the open, or maybe it was the fact that we were hanging out in private for the first time, with no one else around. I was glad, either way.

          “Okay, we’re watching my favorite, then.” I clicked on a movie and poured myself another glass of wine, settling back next to him as it started.

          “This is your favorite movie?” He raised his eyebrows as the opening scene played out. It was a horror movie, and not even close to my favorite, but I’d picked something bad on purpose.

          “Mmhmm.” I nodded, biting my lip to keep my face straight. “What, you’re not into it?”

          “No, no, it’s fine, I…like it.” He looked over at me, his focus leaving the screen entirely.

          “Yeah?” I asked, my eyes flicking down to his lips, then back up to his dark eyes.

          “Yeah,” He breathed, and then his lips were on mine, one of his hands in my hair, the other cupping my face. I leaned in closer, running my hands over his shoulders, then pulled back slightly.

          “Do you…is this okay?” He asked, our lips only barely parted.

          “Yes,” I nodded. “I just like being pursued, that’s all. Making you work for it a bit.”

          “Oh, yeah? I can do that,” His lips moved over to my ear, sending a shiver down my body.

          “Do you want to fuck me?” I asked softly as he moved to the side of my neck.

          “Of course I do,” he said. “are you kidding me?”

          “I’ll assume that last part was rhetorical,” I said before I could help it. I could see I’d confused him and taken us out of the moment, so I continued. “How badly do you want to fuck me?”

          “I think,” He started, moving his hand up to just below my jaw and applying a soft pressure to the sides of my neck. “I should be the one asking you that.”

          “Is that so?” I could feel the heat growing between my legs, causing a delicious kind of discomfort.

“I think so,” He held my chin and turned my face so we were looking directly at each other. “I can stop this at any point, so, Y/n, I need to know. Do you want me to keep going?”

“Yes,” I breathed out as his other hand trailed almost lazily down over my thigh, applying just the slightest pressure as he reached his destination between my legs.

“Yeah, but, uh, how badly?” He whispered onto my lips, pausing the motion of his fingers.

“So very badly,” I whispered back, placing my hand on top of his and bringing them together under the waistband of my pants. “Feel for yourself.”

“Jesus,” He chuckled. “You’re this wet already?”

“I can’t help it,” I drew back, almost offended.

“No, no, I like it,” He pulled me up onto his lap so I was straddling him.

“What, you’re this fucking hard already?” I teased, running my hand over his erection through his pants.

“Hey, that’s your fault, for being so sexy,” he said. I rolled my eyes and chose not to comment, kissing him instead to shut him up.

He moved his hands from their grip on my hips up under the hem of my shirt. I raised my arms to allow him to lift it over my head, letting it drop to the floor. His long fingers managed to unhook the clasp of my bra more quickly than expected—I’d anticipated there to be more fumbling around on his part. There was a lot more to Greg than I’d expected, in general.

“How long have you wanted this?” I asked, pressing myself more fully against him and eliciting a low moan.

“Since I fucking…since I saw you across the room at the bar,” He slid his hands up my torso from my waist to cup my breasts, rubbing a thumb over each nipple. “What about you?”

“The same,” I admitted, sighing as I melted into his touch. “Part of me wanted you to pull me into the bathroom and have me, right there.”

“Fuck, I just…” He gazed up at me, and we stared at each other for a long moment, our bodies moving against each other, building pressure. “I want you so bad.”

“Have me, then.” I bent down to press a long kiss to his lips, softly biting the top one, then the bottom. I shifted off of his lap and slid my pants off. He got the hint and did the same.

“Do you have, like, a condom?” He asked, kicking his pants off and to the side.

“Yeah, I’ll grab one.” I padded down the hall to the bathroom and found the box I kept under the sink, separating one from the pack and returning to the living room. The couch was empty, our clothes strewn over the furniture. I was confused for a second, before I felt his hands on my hips from behind, pulling me in so that my back was pressed to his chest.

“I think I’m too tall for your couch.”

“You’re gonna be too tall for my bed, too,” I laughed, taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom.

“We’ll make it work somehow. I have faith in our…tenacity.” He backed me onto the bed, and I handed him the condom.

“Tenacity, huh? Good word,” I smirked up at him as he ripped open the wrapper and slid it on. I scooted back further onto my pillows, and then he was on top of me, kissing my lips, my neck, my collarbone; feeling me everywhere, pinning my wrists down with one hand and using the other to play with me. Rubbing with his thumb while slipping in one finger, then a second.

“Is this okay?” He whispered into my ear as my whines and whimpers reached a higher pitch.

“Yes, yes,” I breathed. “Please, Greg. Please fuck me.”

With that, his hand came up to cup my face so he could kiss me as he gave the first thrust. I moaned onto his lips as he pulled out and then pushed back in, slightly deeper this time. He continued going slowly until I’d adjusted, and then his pace picked up, my legs wrapping around him, skin slapping against skin, faster and faster.

He slowed again, and I whined in his ear.

“Shh, I’m just trying to…last longer,” He whispered. “You feel too fucking good.”

          “I need it,” I pouted, straining against his grip.

          “You need this?” He teased himself against my entrance.

          “Mmhm,” I breathed. “Please.”

          With that, he was fully inside me again, and I threw my head back against the bedspread, unable to contain a moan. He filled me up so perfectly, moved so perfectly, hit such a deep spot, I almost couldn’t handle it, but the idea of him stopping was so much worse.

          He kissed me again, and I knew he was getting close. I squeezed my legs tighter, angling myself upwards, and with a few more thrusts, he let out the most authentic, full-bodied moan I’d heard in my life and collapsed on top of me, releasing my wrists, his arms shaking. Once he’d caught his breath, he kissed me deeply before rolling off to the side.

          “There’s a trashcan over by the door.” I said, running my fingers over his shoulders as he sat up to peel off the condom.

          “Okay,” He stood, still catching his breath, and dropped it into the trash, coming back over to spoon me from behind and press a kiss my shoulder.

          “Did you, um…did you cum?” He asked.

          I turned to face him. I really didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I couldn’t lie to him, either, so I spoke gently. “I didn’t. It’s always been really hard for other people to make me cum.”

          “I’m sorry.” He said, so earnestly I could’ve cried, so I laughed instead.

          “Greg, sweetheart, it’s okay.” I ran a thumb over his cheek, tangling my hand in his dark hair. “If you’d gone down on me, that’s…well, that’s usually how it happens, when it does.”

          “Oh,” He started, pulling back. “You should’ve—I would’ve, if…no, I should’ve thought of that.”

          “It’s okay. We’ll just have to try that next time.” I said, propping myself up on an elbow. “And besides, I just wanted to get straight into it tonight. Just because I didn’t cum doesn’t mean it was bad sex, or that I didn’t enjoy it. She’s just very, very particular.” I gestured to my crotch.

          That made him laugh, to my relief. “Well, okay. I do want to make you, though. For real.”

          “I know. Unfortunately, it can’t really be forced. It just either happens or it doesn’t.” I shrugged. “But, I have to say, I was impressed nonetheless.” I gave him a squeeze and felt him twitch under my hand.

          “Well, that’s good to hear.” He rolled onto his back, and I stood up. “Where are you going?”           “Greg, rule number one for people with vaginas: Always pee after sex. Seriously. Have you ever had a UTI before? Not fun.” I called over my shoulder as I headed out to the bathroom.

          When I came back, he was dozing off, mumbling something as I crawled into bed next to him.

          “What?” I asked, laying my head on his chest, his arm wrapping around me.

          “We never finished the movie,” He said drowsily into my ear.

          “No, I guess we didn’t,” I laughed softly, pressing one more kiss to his lips before settling down to sleep.

--- The Morning After: Part II ---

          I was stirred from my sleep by a crashing sound somewhere in the apartment. When it came again a moment later, I sat upright in bed, reaching over to confirm that I was alone in the sheets. I was pretty sure the noise was Greg, but on the off-chance he’d snuck away while I slept and someone else had broken in, I pulled on my robe before heading down the hall.

          I stopped in the doorway of the kitchen, taking in the sight of Greg in his underwear, fumbling with the coffee machine. The crash, I assumed, had come from him tipping over the grinder and spraying half-ground beans all over the counter and onto the floor. I covered my lips with a hand, attempting to stifle a laugh, but it didn’t work. When he heard me, he turned around sheepishly, giving me such a woeful expression that I burst out in another wave of laughter, and he joined in.

          “I was trying to make us coffee, I was going to bring it to you in bed, and it was going to be very romantic, I promise.” He sighed, running a hand over his bedhead. “Do you have a vacuum or…a broom, or something?”

          I helped him clean up the mess, and since he’d spilled all of my beans, we got dressed and walked to a café down the street. I found us a table while he paid, and once I’d settled into an overstuffed chair near the fireplace, I watched him. Though he was a goof, and sort of a nepo-baby on top of that, I was somehow still attracted to him. It wasn’t even a height thing—I’d gone out with guys the same height as me before, and had been perfectly attracted to them as they were. I couldn’t put my finger on it, not entirely. He had a certain Greg-ne-ce-quais.

          I mean, he had a very handsome face, so that was probably part of it. And he made me laugh often, though not always intentionally.

          While walking over with our drinks, he got a phone call, and I watched him try to balance both cups while pressing the phone to his ear. Based on the panicked look on his face, I assumed it was work-related. I met him halfway to grab my cup from him, and he mouthed a “Thank you” as he followed me to our seats.

          “Okay, um…I mean, I was supposed to be off today,” He said into the phone, rubbing his face with his free hand. “Jesus, okay, yes, I can be there. Give me like an hour—okay, fine, thirty. Okay. ‘Bye.”

          “That was your boss?” I asked, taking a sip of my coffee.

          “Yeah, how’d you guess?” He sighed. “I know we were supposed to hang out this morning, I’m so sorry.”           “It’s okay, Greg,” I reached over and put a hand on his knee. “I know you don’t have much of a choice.”

          “Yeah, no, not really. I mean, I’d obviously much rather hang out with you than go in.”

          “I know. Go on, I’ll survive, somehow.” I smiled to let him know I was joking.

          “Okay, yeah, I should go. They called me a car already.” He went to stand up, then stopped and looked over at me. “I really, really had a good time last night.”

          “I did, too.” I smiled. He leaned over to give me a quick kiss, then stood up. Still sitting down, I was eye-level with his dick for a moment before he turned to walk out to the street. I watched him through the windows as he speed-walked off down the street to meet his car. Too soon, he was out of sight, and I was alone with my coffee. I was disappointed, of course—I’d hoped we would have time for another round back at my place once we’d finished our drinks—but I had, for the most part, outgrown the petty grudges I used to hold against the men I dated for things out of their control. We were adults. Sometimes, work came first.

          God, no wonder Greg was so high-strung. I’d hate having to be on call all the time, working for people who expected the impossible from me. I had a pretty good idea of what his salary was, and while it was probably exorbitant, it seemed that they made him work for it.

          As I sipped my coffee, I wondered, my mind in the gutter as always, how Greg’s head game was. My instincts said he might not be the best at it, but what he lacked in skill, he might make up for in enthusiasm. Though giving me head hadn’t been his first instinct last night, he still seemed eager to please. And, to be fair, I had really been ready to just get straight into it. Next time, I wouldn’t be as impatient, and we could take our time and try different things. It would be fun. In my experience, the first fuck with a new partner was never the best. We’d figure each other out soon enough, and I was looking forward to the process.

[hughiecampbelle]

you writing is so delicious so it thought I’d throw my hat in the ship ring. My name is Anna, my pronouns are she/her, I’ve been a card carrying bisexual for the longest time but I’ve also been giving serious thought to whether or not I’m also asexual so that’s a whole fucking mess. I really don’t have a gender preference when it comes to my dating life, as it’s pretty nonexistent. I’ve got pretty curly hair that’s hard to manage, and I’m slightly taller than average at 5’8”. I’m a film major (ashamed to say it but I’m more of a film bro than I want to be), my favorite genre is horror, and one of my favorite actors is Harvey Keitel. My love language is basically forcing people to watch movies with me. I love 70s music, especially George Harrison, and I play a couple instruments. When I travel I like to visit cities, and I always try to root out the best indie theatres. I like baking, and I’m pretty good a cooking, especially spaghetti bolognese. My sense of humor ranges from pretty dry to stupidly silly, idk my dad thinks I’m funny. I really don’t have a dream future, the most I want is the freedom to do what I love, whatever that looks like. I’m a yearner, big yearner and craver. What I really want is someone who understands my certain flavor of mess. Uhhhhh I have a scar on my knee from the last time I tried to walk in heels, and my hobbies are writing and crocheting. As you can tell from this whole autobiography I’ve sent you I’m quite wordy and I like to hear myself talk.

I’m also literally in love with you and your blog, peace and love

Hi my love! I ship you with: Greg Hirsch!!!

He loves your height. Greg is quite tall and finds that having a shorter partner just doesn't work out. He especially loves when you wear heels, making you even taller. It's the perfect height for forehead and top of the head kisses, his favorite. He also loves your cooking skills. Greg is still trying to figure out how to be an adult. He finally has an adult apartment and a corporate job, but he's pretty bad when it comes to cooking and food shopping in general. Watching you is like watching magic. The first and last time he tried to cook for you, the pasta was totally overcooked and congealed into one mass lump. You tried to make him feel better about it, but he could tell by the look on your face it was not as good as you said it was.

You love how flustered he is. Of course he can't help it, but you really do adore it. it gets worse when you're around. Not only is he tripping over his words, but his own feet, too. He becomes this gangly, clumsy mess of a person when he sees you, walking into glass doors and spilling his coffee all over himself. At first you think you're bad luck, even going so far as to avoid him, but he seeks you out. Whatever disaster that occurs in your presence is totally worth it if he gets to spend a few minutes with you around the office between meetings.

Your relationship is clumsy. You know what you want, what you yearn for, and Greg is more than happy to come along for the ride. There's always a hiccup, a bump in the road, there is something that always goes wrong, but the two of you can typically shrug it off and laugh. Nothing gets taken too seriously. He learns from you that not everything is the end of the world and that there's more to life than the stress of dealing with his family and all their drama.

Your first date is to a horror movie. Greg is pretty jumpy and can't stand when the music gets higher and faster, but nothing has jumped out yet. But, he knows that you love them, so it's worth it. Every time you look over at him he's hugging the popcorn and covering his eyes, jumping at the slightest sound. You hold his hand, both because you want to and because you think it'll help. The grin that spreads across his face is so sweet. For the rest of the movie he's a lot more relaxed, even making jokes to get you to laugh.

Relationship Headcanon: Greg finds you hilarious. You're the only one who can make him laugh til he cries. Hyperventilating, struggling to breath, thinking you're gonna die laughing. That makes you laugh harder at your own jokes and there the two of you are, struggling to catch your breath, unable to look at each other or else you'll laugh harder. He has a good laugh, the kind that makes a joke even funnier.

Thank you my love!!! Hope you like it! 💜💜💜

[asktoobzee]

The 11 Best Summer Horror Movies of All Time

What better way to beat the dog days of summer than hiding away inside, cranking the AC, and watching a horror flick? That’s why we put together a list of our favorite summer horror movies of all time. But just to clarify, by “summer horror movies” we mean movies that take place during the summer.

That means some “summer-ish” films — such as Cabin Fever (October) and Cabin in the Woods (weekend getaway) — aren’t eligible for the list. We also require summertime to be explicitly mentioned in the film, so that knocks 2 of our Mia Goth favorites, X and its sequel Pearl, out of contention. We’ve also excluded comedy horror flicks, so you won’t find The Final Girls lurking around here.

Without further ado, here are our favorite summer horror movies of all time.

#11: The Girl Next Door (2007)

This is not to be confused with the romantic comedy starring Emile Hirsch and Elisha Cuthbert from 2004. Not at all. Also known as Jack Ketchum’s Evil, The Girl Next Door is based on the multi-Stoker Award winner’s novel of the same name, which was itself loosely based on the true-life story of Sylvia Likens.

Without giving too much away, 2 recently orphaned sisters are sent to live with their aunt Ruth and her 3 sons. Very quickly, the older sister becomes persona non grata in Ruth’s eyes and is sent (or rather, sentenced) to live in the basement. Horrific things happen from there.

Stephen King called it “the dark-side-of-the-moon version of Stand By Me.” But even with the Master of Horror’s stamp of approval, it’s still one of the most divisive movies around, with as many 10-star ratings as 1-stars on IMDb.

Whether you love it or hate it, the only way to find out is by watching it. The first hour and 15 minutes are disturbing, but the final quarter-hour is downright horrifying. Still, it’s nothing compared to the real-life story behind it.

Where to stream it:

Prime Video

FASTs: Freevee, Tubi

#10: The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

The sophomore directorial effort by legendary horror director Wes Craven cemented his name — and filmmaking future — in the horror genre.

Based on the legend of Scotsman Sawney Bean and his merry band of cannibals, a suburban family’s California road trip is sidetracked by a clan of Nevada flesh-eaters.

Made on a shoestring budget of somewhere between $350k to $700k, it went on to make $25 million. Full of chills, thrills, and dark humor, the movie became a cult classic and was even included in Steven Jay Schneider’s 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die (hopefully not on somebody’s dinner plate).

Pop it up on the screen for those in the backseat during your next summer road trip. It might be a good way to stop them from asking “Are we there yet?”

Where to stream it:

AMC+, Arrow, Screambox, Shudder

#9: Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Ask almost any horror fan and they’ll tell you that Sleepaway Camp is one of the classic summer camp slashers. Starring scream queen Felissa Rose, it’s got one of the greatest endings in movie history — which is all we’re going to say about that.

Aside from the ending, it’s notable for a cast mostly comprised of actual teenagers, rather than twentysomethings (or even thirtysomethings!) pretending to be young.

While not the most renowned horror franchise of all time, it spawned 4 sequels. Only one of them involved the original’s writer/director, Robert Hiltzik — who didn’t even know the others existed or that his film had become a cult classic! How’s that for a twist?

Where to stream it:

Fubo, Peacock, Screambox

#8: I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

Jennifer Love Hewitt leads a cast of beautiful people in low-cut, tight tees as they try to figure out who knows, uh, what they did last summer. And that’s not referring to where they went for vacation. It’s the deadly hit-and-run the group of then high schoolers covered up.

Loosely based on the YA novel of the same name by Lois Duncan, IKWYDLS has all the right ingredients for a summer slasher. Attractive, young cast? Check. A secret collective guilt? Check. Mysterious villain? Check. That’s probably why it’s the 7th highest-grossing slasher of all time.

Two forgettable sequels followed, and a third “legacy” sequel is reportedly in the works. But with no release date yet, you probably have at least one more summer to watch the original.

Where to stream it:

Hulu, MGM+

#7: Summer of 84 (2018)

Possibly (or likely) taking some inspiration from 1985’s classic horror film Fright Night, 15-year-old Davey suspects that his neighbor is a serial killer. Of course, Davey also digs conspiracy theories, so he gets a bit of the Boy-Who-Cried-Wolf treatment until he coughs up a bit more proof.

The film captures the feel and essence of the 1980s as well as any episode of Stranger Things and is a commendable homage to the horror movies of that time. It’s not surprising that it made many year-end lists in 2018.

The Summer of 84 is essential viewing for horror fans from June to September.

Where to stream it:

AMC+, Shudder

#6: Hostel (2005)

Hold on to your backpack. And your lunch.

In his follow-up to his Cabin Fever debut, director Eli Roth does for backpacking what Jaws did for beachgoing. Or at least tries his damnedest. When a trio of college friends traveling across Europe arrive in Slovakia, they soon wish they’d splurged for a room at the Marriott.

Instead of room service or a dip in the pool, our intrepid travelers end up on the wrong side of a torture chamber glory hole for depraved plutocrats.

Roth’s sophomore effort is reputedly the first to be called “torture porn”, although Hostel is hardly the first film to fit that bill. But fit the bill it does.

Where to stream it:

Hostel is apparently taking a break from paid streaming services at this time (August 2023).

#5: Friday the 13th (1980)

While the question of which Friday the 13th film is the franchise’s best is a hotly debated topic, they all don’t take place during the summer. But that doesn’t matter, because the first one does, and that’s our top pick anyway.

Before the hockey mask. Even before the unkillable man himself. This is where it all started. (And was one of Kevin Bacon’s first movies roles.)

It may not hold up as well visually as another old horror flick ranked higher on this list, but the Jason-less horror remains a classic for reason. Not only did it explicitly establish the have-sex-and-die slasher trope, but that first time at Camp Crystal Lake put summer camp massacres on the cinematic map.

Where to stream it:

Paramount+ (Apple TV Channel only)

#4: It (2017)

Commonly referred to as It Chapter One, — probably to avoid confusion with the 1990 miniseries It starring Tim Curry — It is the highest-grossing horror film of all time. And with all due respect to the fabulous Mr. Curry — and an impressive first adaptation of King’s 1,000-page tome — It is better than It.

The movie starts on a rainy day in October and immediately tells the viewer this ain’t no made-for-TV miniseries. Fast forward to the following June, and 13-year-old Bill enlists his friends to help him correct the mistakes of his past — and fight a primordial, extraterrestrial evil shapeshifter that materializes as your greatest fear.

Stephen King wasn’t consulted on the film, as he has been with many film adaptations of his oeuvre, but he evidently loves it:

Where to stream it:

Unfortunately, It is not currently available on streaming services. However, you can grab a digital rental for $4 at all the usual places.

#3: Midsommar (2019)

Midsommar is director Ari Aster’s sophomore feature film — after Hereditary — and you couldn’t ask for a better follow-up.

Similar to a movie 3 spots down our list, a group of American college kids join their European schoolmate on his home turf during the summer break.

Heading to a commune for a midsummer festival in the idyllic Swedish countryside starts out wonderfully — except for the fact that one of the guy’s brought his girlfriend along. They even get a bunch of free mushrooms, which is great until said girlfriend has a bad trip.

It’s an A24 film, so obviously things are going to get messed up. And boy, do they. Then you’re left watching the rest of the film with your jaw hanging open.

Granted, it’s not loved by all — dividing both viewers and critics — so some may take umbrage with it ranking so high on our list. But we call ’em like see ’em.

Where to stream it:

Paramount+, DirecTV Stream

#2: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

When watching old movies, it helps to imagine being in the audience of the day. Only then can you truly appreciate when a film is doing something innovative or pushing the bounds of the norm.

And The Texas Chainsaw Massacre did exactly that. In his contemporaneous review, Roger Ebert gave the film 2 stars and a thumbs up but didn’t enjoy it.

It’s also without any apparent purpose, unless the creation of disgust and fright is a purpose. And yet in its own way, the movie is some kind of weird, off-the-wall achievement. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to make a movie like this, and yet it’s well-made, well-acted, and all too effective.

The landmark horror film has been given the 4K UHD remaster treatment at least twice, and both look fantastic. Certainly good enough to mollify those viewers who don’t like watching “old-looking” old movies.

Not only that, the movie itself holds up just fine after (almost) 50 years. That’s no small achievement, as there aren’t too many films that can deliver scares to multiple generations.

Where to stream it:

Peacock, Shudder, Screambox

#1: Jaws (1975)

While this may come as a surprise to some, as Jaws is not your typical murder-filled horror film. Some may prefer to call it a thriller, or even an action or adventure movie. And sure, why can’t it be all of them? But what’s more horrific than a primordial beast invisibly lurking in the shadows until it strikes?

Horror film: …the representation of disturbing and dark subject matter, seek to elicit responses of fear, terror, disgust, shock, suspense, and, of course, horror from their viewers.

And who can forget that music? You can still hear people mimicking it today in swimming pools around the world. Without a doubt, the inimitable John Williams is as much to thank for the horror of Jaws as Spielberg.

No other horror movie — or perhaps movie in general — in the history of cinema has had such an impact on people’s actual lives. People were so afraid to go in the ocean that beach tourism declined in 1975. How many films can say that?

Where to stream it:

DirecTV Stream

FASTs: Tubi

Which streaming service has the most summer horror movies?

When it comes to paid streaming services (and therefore ad-free with the right plan), it’s a dead heat between 5 streamers. AMC+, Parmount+, Peacock, Shudder, and DirecTV all have 2 movies on our list. Hulu, Prime Video, and Screambox each have 1 movie.

However, when it comes to the best overall — including free ad-supported television (FAST) services — Freevee takes the top spot with 4 films. Tubi and Plex tie for second with 3 movies each.

What perhaps surprised us the most was that Max has none of the films on our list. It’s usually a solid choice when it comes horror.

What’s the “most popular” summer horror movie on streaming?

The most popular summer horror movie — ie: the one on the most platforms — is Sleepaway Camp, which is streaming on 9 of the 25 services we counted. The second-most popular summer horror movie is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is available on 8 streaming services. And coming in a distant third — with only 3 platforms — is Hostel, which is only available on FASTs.

💀 Do you see a glaring omission from our list? What’s your favorite summer horror movie? Let us know in the comments below.

👀 And in the meantime, check out our Paramount Review, Peacock Review, and DirecTV Stream Review, to see if one of them suits your needs.

[fruity-phrog]

I posted 1,939 times in 2022

That's 1,939 more posts than 2021!

622 posts created (32%)

1,317 posts reblogged (68%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@emintoomanyfandoms

@azusashissoggynoodles

@thisisaname-whatahappyname

@theaceofarrows

@stormy-space-jellyfish

I tagged 903 of my posts in 2022

#the owl house - 300 posts

#toh - 262 posts

#cedar crap - 143 posts

#stranger things - 97 posts

#luz noceda - 68 posts

#amity blight - 61 posts

#amphibia - 59 posts

#byler - 57 posts

#lumity - 50 posts

#hunter wittebane - 48 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i've been meaning to say something for a while but i wanted to do it in the best way and in the tunnel of love i thought amity's too cool

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Fuck Disney.

That’s it that’s the post.

Very much fuck disney.

They canceled The Owl House.

They hardly advertised Amphibia and did nothing to stop the True Colors leaks.

They wouldn’t allow Alex Hirsch to put queer characters in Gravity Falls until the last episode, and even then it was speculative.

They wouldn’t let Daron Nefcy give queer characters speaking lines in SVTFOE unless it was their last appearance, and even then they were side characters - one of them had like three words as lines.

And still, they put The Owl House in their pride section, they put Amphibia in their pride section, they put Gravity Falls and SVTFOE in their “pride” section because acknowledging our existence is “being an ally”. Yes, it really is being a good ally when you don’t even put a non-binary character’s proper pronouns in the subtitles. It really is being a good ally when you don’t even know the ship name of the most progressive queer ship in the history of disney. It really is being a good ally when you put three colors in a heart and proclaim that “representation”. 

It isn’t.

Fuck disney. Put that in your tags. Fuck disney.

1,862 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

#4

See the full post

2,645 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#3

Nobody:

Anne: So this is my partner Marcy, and their girlfriend Sasha, who is my girlfriend. These are Marcy’s parents, and we don’t talk about Sasha’s parents. This is my mom Oum and my dad Bee. And this is my grandfather HopPop, who is in no relation to my parents. This is HopPop’s grandkids Polly and Sprig, who are my siblings. This is Sasha’s weird uncle/brother/dad Grime and Marcy’s moms Olivia and Yunan. This is my cat Domino, and my giant moth Domino Two, my giant family snail/car Bessie and her three snird babies..

Oh, and this is my colleague, God.

3,423 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#2

I live for the holy trio of creators:

Alex Hirsch - icon, once threatened to kill the Chipmunks in a film called Waterchip Down, created the legendary Bill, voices the horror Hooty.

Dana Terrace - utter icon, openly pirates her own show, gave us a queer kiss (multiple) in a disney show, wrote lines into her show having a go at Disney, made it canon that Amphibia and The Owl House are in the same universe

Matt Braly - icon, plays the “I grow tulips” icon Chuck, made it canon that Amphibia and The Owl House are in the same universe on a different occasion to Dana doing it, killed three teenage girls.

6,019 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Steve Harrington who grows up thinking gay people are lesser.

Steve Harrington who often uses gay as an insult.

Steve Harrington who calls Jonathan Byers gay because Jonathan Byers embarrassed him.

Steve Harrington who falls for a lesbian.

Steve Harrington who realizes the awesome girl he had come to love was cooler than any straight girl he’d met.

Steve Harrington who starts to fix the way he sees things because of his best friend.

Steve Harrington who meets the school freak.

Steve Harrington who falls for a dead boy.

Steve Harrington who proudly watches his best friend flirt with her crush.

Steve Harrington who changes so much.

9,755 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Okay adding to this that IT TOOK ME AGES TO REALIZE YOU TAG REBLOGS. AND SOMETIMES I STILL FORGET. SO THAT'S WHY SO MANY POSTS DON'T HAVE ANY TAGS.

[semper-legens]

77. The Book of Bill, by Alex Hirsch Bill Cipher

Owned?: Yes Page count: Unknown/not numbered My summary: Bill's back, baby, and he's ready to spread his chaos into our dimension! Morality? Who needs it! Death? That's for chumps! Secrets? Oh yeah, there's a ton of them! Wanna know the story of him and Sixer? Ha! He could tell you some things. Want to know Stan's darkest secrets and Dipper's embarrassing internet searches? Buckle up, kids, this triangle's got everything! And he's just dying to tell you… My rating: 5/5 My commentary:

The Book of Bill. I'm a bit late to the party here - I don't think it came out in the UK until a little bit after the US, so everyone else had already been through the book, cracked every code, and mined every tiny bit of lore from it before mine even arrived on the doormat. In truth, I think I'm cheating a little bit by saying this is completed, because I wasn't cracking codes and getting every last tiny bit of information, but I'm gonna do that later, I just didn't have the time. Still, it's not like the book isn't enjoyable outside of the mysteries. I'll be honest, I wasn't sure how much I was going to like it. There's always an element of disconnect when you're reading something intended for children as an adult, even when it's a slightly older age range than the original show, like this definitely was. But damn if Bill isn't an extremely engaging narrator. I gotta admit, there were parts of this book that made me laugh out loud. It balanced the horror-comedy line so well, and I loved it to bits.

This book serves as a backstory for Bill, a little backstory for Ford, and a continuation of Bill's plan and how he planned to resurrect himself. Bill is talking directly to the reader, daring them to do things like explicitly sell their soul to Bill, give him their blood (via putting your thumb on the page), and follow Bill's commands. He details his various attempts to open a portal on Earth, leading to his ultimate success when Stan, Ford, and Mabel let him out into Gravity Falls. As a backstory fiend, I was very here for this, in particular because Bill's unreliable narratorship leaves you to have to read between the lines for a lot of it. Not that Ford's any more reliable. Their relationship is somehow even more homoerotic than in the show - they all-but confirm that Bill and Ford were boyfriends. And that Ford and Fiddleford were basically boyfriends! It's the kind of worldbuilding that makes you want to seek out angstfic. Or at least makes me want to seek it out. There's a lot of information here, along with a huge amount of jokes and Gravity Falls' trademark weirdness. Guillermo del Torso! Bill's ex Bloody Mary! The secret of how to get into Heaven! More about Quentin Trembley! It's a good condensation of Gravity Falls, showing off all that I loved about the original show. And Bill's comeuppance is beautiful. Truly, this is the fate that he deserves.

Next, the Firekeeper's Daughter investigates a drug problem sweeping through her home.

[twittercomfrnklin2001-blog]

The Price We Pay

If there isn’t a name for the horror subgenre in which criminals on the run hide out in a place that turns out to house some horror then there should be.  From going through the horror listings on my streaming services, there seem to be enough of them, with THE ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER (1957), a schlockfest if ever there were one; BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE (1959), more schlock but with imaginative work from director Monte Hellman; and the French FRONTIER(S) (2007), a very political take on the plot, notable examples. I’ve been avoiding most of the domestic versions, but somebody asked me to watch Ryuhei Kitamura’s THE PRICE WE PAY (2022, Peacock), apparently to remind me why. Whether this is a spiritual child of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974) or an American attempt to copy the New French Extremity (without the politics), it’s a lot of gore and suspense to little purpose. I’m tempted to call it WHEN BAD FILMS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE, but two of those good people produced it. Anyway, a mismatched gang, including psychopath Emile Hirsch and former Army medic Stephen Dorff, hold up a pawn shop but lose their getaway car. They kidnap an innocent bystander (Gigi Zumbado) and force her to drive them away. When her car breaks down in the desert, they hole up at a remote farm. How many ways can this go wrong? Let’s just say the farmers are selling more than corn and cattle, and before long Emile Hirsch is Emle Hrsch. The suspense and gore are intense, and Aldo Shilaku’s score is so unrelenting it could leave you with PTSD. Vernon Wells could make a great villain. He gives an understated performance that’s pretty chilling. But his motivation makes no sense. For that matter, the motivation for the film doesn’t make much sense. It’s not horror as metaphor. It’s so intense the film upstages the good performances from Hirsch, Dorff, Zumbado, Wells and the late Tyler Sanders, so it’s not exactly a showcase for anybody’s talents. Were they just trying to beat us into submission?

[your-ace-cousin-clover]

Tomgreg Fics That Will Induce Catharsis*

*(not guaranteed, but these are so fucking good!)

[heed the trigger warnings]

Beaks Bloody [M]

Greg is, well — not great, seeing as though he’s pretty sure that he, you know, just murdered his great-uncle Logan at the guy’s own birthday party. Benoit Blanc is on the case.

In Loving Memory [M]

Siobhan falls down the stairs and breaks her neck. Her spirit never leaves the house.

Suddenly, Flames Everywhere [T] 

He’s Tom Wambsgans, from St. Paul, Minnesota. Broad-shouldered, sharply-dressed, rising miles and miles above his station. That’s who he is. It doesn’t matter who he began as. He's not the same Tom anymore.

From the series: The Sad Tom Wambsgans Cinematic Universe

Invidious [T] 

Bernard smiles wider, a particular sort of sweet edge to it while he offers the cup – is that lipgloss? “I also got you a latte –”

Greg reaches out and blocks the path of the cup, then blinks at his own hand in some shock. “Uh... Oat milk.”

Bernard blinks and looks to Greg, mouth pinching, “Sorry, Mr Hirsch? I didn’t – ?”

“Tom drinks oat milk.”

AITA for accusing my father of multiple crimes on his own news station? [T]

Reddit's view of Kendall Roy over the years.

Sonny Liston Rubbed Some Tiger Balm Into His Glove (Some Things You Do For Money And Some You Do For Love, Love, Love) [G]

“Let me get this straight.” Tom breathed, and he was so close that Greg could feel it tickle his chin. “You ... killed Roman?”

Hangdog Eyes [E] 

[Image description: TMZ webpage, headline reads - Succession Split! Insiders say more than artistic differences! Underneath is an old photograph of Kendall and Stewy at a party, with a jagged tear between them as if the photograph has been ripped.] [Image description: Tweet from @gregjhirsch - do you need to wear sunscreen in Florida in winter? Asking for a friend]

Through The Glass Walls Of The Throne Room [T] 

Reaching the top of the mountain affords Greg a privileged perspective. Next to all these riches, the loss of something as small as a soul seems inconsequential.

Blue Light [E] 

When Roman makes an off-hand joke about Tom being in love with Greg over dinner, the fallout changes everything.

Daddy’s Little Deadstick Dynasty [T]

The Roy family jet never makes it to São Paulo.

Beyond The Hairpin Turn [E]

You reach across the boardroom table and cover his beautiful hand with your own. Pure instinct. His hand twitches, and he gives a little gasp. Oh, delightful. How you’d love to make this boy gasp in other ways, in other places…

“You have such soft hands,” you whisper.

“Very touching,” comes the voice from the speaker. “But this isn’t speed dating, this is work orientation.

Fair is Foul and Foul Is Fair [M]

Tom finds several things out about Greg's new relationship.

I Needed You There, But I Didn't Know [NR]

When he was younger, he used to do this thing where he’d have one-sided conversations with his father in his head. Before he’d go to sleep, he’d update him on what he’d missed, casually, as if it’d been minutes since they last talked instead of years. If he were religious, he could’ve compared it to praying.

Final Greg [G]

If Waystar Royco was a horror movie, then, well, Greg knows he wouldn’t be the final girl. But he thinks it would be pretty subversive if he was.

The Many Fantasizations and Nightmares of Tom Wambsgans and Greg Hirsch [E]

What if, on the night of Tom's wedding, things had played out differently?

Sunday Massacre [E]

The Gang Faces Eternal Damnation.

From the series: I'm Supposed To Die Tonight

[ramblesanddragons]

I posted 1,404 times in 2021

308 posts created (22%)

1096 posts reblogged (78%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.6 posts.

I added 1,044 tags in 2021

#gravity falls - 555 posts

#the owl house - 126 posts

#stanford pines - 67 posts

#critical role - 60 posts

#stanley pines - 48 posts

#the owl house spoilers - 47 posts

#personal - 44 posts

#thanks for the ask! - 39 posts

#a tik tok - 30 posts

#my writing - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 111 characters

#i’m rebloging this one because the last person’s bio says occasionally erin hunter and i just lost my damn mind

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Look I have been on this site since 2011. I will admit I enjoy it. I actually do. However I will not put a dime of my money anywhere near this blue hell site.

Take the Survey and tell them exactly how bad of an idea this is. 

Maybe us openly saying this is the only bearable social media site left was not a good idea. Our bad. Wont do it again.

235 notes • Posted 2021-07-21 21:40:28 GMT

#4

Let me talk about this screenshot for a second.

1. Insert leg day joke here.

2. This is one of my favorite visual gags in the show. “Oh he’s just reading a mystery book.” Except he’s not and is indeed a plot twist. Or one half of one anyway. I love whoever thought of that gag.

3. This is where my head canon that Stan likes to read comes from. Maybe he struggled with reading in school but like a lot of adults he found enjoyment in books when he could read what he wanted. Also libraries are one of the few places a homeless guy can be for a few hours without having to pay anything.

247 notes • Posted 2021-04-10 20:40:40 GMT

#3

Throwing this out there because I don’t think I’ll write it but it’s a fun idea. Stan probably could have been a decent actor. If he had tried Hollywood out before diving deep into criminal stuff I could see him being like Harrison Ford.

So he becomes successful and is decently happy and stuff. Maybe even reconnects with his family and Ford a little bit. They’re distant but Ford comes to the whatever you want to call Star Wars premieres.

Does that change the portal incident? Maybe? Trying to balance being a big Hollywood star while helping your brother fight a demon sounds like a “wacky comedy” waiting to happen with some dark undertones.

Or maybe the portal incident still happens so now Stan has to figure out what to do from there. He’s too big of a name to disappear so he fakes Ford’s death and opens a small movie studio in Gravity Falls. He retires from acting to become a director and makes his income from creating B horror and sci fi movies like he used to watch with Ford as a kid. Sometimes casting real cryptids! (He earns accolades for the costumes and make up.)

Ford comes back and is still mad Stan “mocks his work” but softens over time as he listens to people rave about how Stan’s movies have inspired them to study anomalies. Dipper included.

Idk this idea is up for adoption if someone wants it.

385 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 14:55:53 GMT

#2

In my expert opinion* Dipper and Mabel turn 22 today and meanwhile Stan and Ford found the fountain of youth on their travels and stopped aging at 59. The kids caught on about 3 years ago or so. They’ll keep it secret though they’re happy to have their grunkles around as long as possible.

399 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 22:14:23 GMT

#1

There’s a Problem in Animation

So putting aside the theories and hype for a minute the fact that they cut Season 3 of The Owl House from 10-20 episodes down to 3 is frustrating.

Now Disney isn’t the only one guilty of this. (I’m looking at you HBO) Lately things with their TV animation has been crazy. Between whatever happened with Ducktales and we all know the Amphibia issue this shouldn’t come as a shock. Alex Hirsch ended Gravity Falls after two seasons but that was because he was finished telling the story. It was his choice. Apparently Disney took that as “Hey things can be wildly popular and we don’t even have to give the show more than two seasons!” There’s no hate on Alex btw this is all Disney’s doing.

Luckily we have a chance to engage with the higher ups than we ever have before. Between Twitter (for all it’s faults it’s direct) and other social media we can let how we feel be known. And I’m thankful we can engage with creators too. I don’t think anyone outside of “the industry” knew what was going on with their favorite shows back in ye olden days. Now we can get insights.

My favorite example of “the industry” being dumb is Critical Role. They wanted to make an animated episode and pitched it around. Everyone said no. So they went to Kickstarter and broke all the records. We care about creators not the producers who are so afraid of new content and bold they don’t take many chances and on the ones they do they throttle them to fit whatever they deem the standards are. I wish we could just kick start all the good things but I know that doesn’t always work and making stuff costs money.  Although if Dana did do that for her next project I would toss all the money at it.

My point...we need to let Disney and other producers know we’re paying attention. Dana mentioned writing a letter so by God I wrote one. Basically asking “WTF is your problem” but politely...ish.If you too want to write a letter the best place I’ve found it here: https://disneynow.com/feedback

Pick TV program Related or General Feedback. It didn’t seem to have a word limit so go forth and let them know how much you love The Owl House and other shows. Maybe it’s gotten to the point where we have to start bugging the hell out of the big wigs.

TLDR: You can go to this link here (https://disneynow.com/feedback) to tell Disney that The Owl House should have a full season 3 or let them know how you feel about how they’re treating their other shows on top of using twitter.

1149 notes • Posted 2021-05-18 00:19:58 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[mongoose-bite]

Reading list 2019

Here it is, all the books I read this year. You can find my previous reading lists here. I read a lot of books this year: forty-six, which is a record for the years I've been keeping count (I'm sure I read more as a teenager.) I don't have a goal for number of books in mind. I could read a hundred if I confined myself to fast-paced, easy-to-read novels, so it's relatively meaningless. I read a bunch of shorter books and the number goes up.

By the end of the year I'm usually starting to forget the less memorable ones, but these are my favourites:

- The Dove's Necklace by Raja Alem - the blurb mislead me into thinking this was a murder mystery, instead it is something much more interesting. A street in an ancient slum in Mecca is a PoV character.

- Goodbye to Berlin by Christopher Isherwood - much more relevant and interesting than the prequel, a contemporaneous, fictionalized account of pre-Nazi Germany.

- Passing Strange by Ellen Klages - mid-century historical lesbian juust barely fantasy. I thought it was fun.

- The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula Le Guin - It's le Guin; of course it's good. A view from the eighties imagining various future scenarios, and a monkey's paw problem.

- Less by Andrew Sean Greer - gay writer has mid-life crisis, but parts of it are funny as hell. Books that make me giggle out loud are as rare as hen's teeth.

- The Night Tiger by Yangsze Choo - the setting makes this one. I can't really decide what genre it is. 1930's Malaysia, multiple PoV characters, and a central mystery revolving around severed fingers and the possibility of a kind of weretiger.

- The Rich Man's House by Andrew McGahan - the author apologises for the fact the novel wasn't quite as edited as it could be as he was trying to get it done before he died of cancer. Regardless, I liked it. Starts off like a setup for a thriller but I'd argue it's cosmic horror by the end. I loved the alternate history stuff; there's a ridiculously huge mountain, and the billionaire who climbed it invites a small group of people to the house he's just completed on the tiny island next to it. I cannot say more.

Honourable mention goes to Iain M Banks's Culture novels. I liked both the ones I read, and I've missed big, chunky sci-fi books with big scale ideas. Well plotted too.

Full list below the cut:

Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen Force of Nature – Jane Harper Prince of Mist - Carlos Ruiz Zafón Tales From the Inner City – Shaun Tan Flights – Olga Tokarczuk Convenience Store Woman – Sayaka Murata Ice – Anna Kavan First Person – Richard Flanagan The Dove's Necklace – Raja Alem Yoss – Odo Hirsch Ancient, Ancient – Kiini Ibura Salaam Melmoth – Sarah Perry Possession – A S Byatt Mr. Norris Changes Trains – Christopher Isherwood Goodbye to Berlin – Christopher Isherwood They're a Weird Mob – Nino Culotta The God of Small Things – Arundhati Roy Sorcerer to the Crown – Zen Cho My Name is Red – Orhan Pamuk Ladies in Black – Madeleine St John Transit – Rachel Cusk Passing Strange – Ellen Klages Lighthousekeeping – Jeanette Winterson The Lathe of Heaven – Ursula Le Guin Emma – Jane Austen Anyone But You – Jennifer Crusie Earthquake Weather – Tim Powers The Leopard - Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa Underground – Haruki Murakami Less – Andrew Sean Greer I Shall Wear Midnight – Terry Pratchett Stories – Helen Garner The Silent Patient – Alex Michaelides A Closed and Common Orbit – Becky Chambers Christmas at Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons The October Country – Ray Bradbury The Night Tiger – Yangsze Choo Surface Detail – Iain M Banks All This I Will Give to You – Dolores Rendondo (translated by Michael Meigs) The Rich Man's House – Andrew McGahan The Wine of Solitude – Irene Nemirovsky The French Lieutenant's Woman – John Fowles The Crack-Up – F. Scott Fitzgerald The Secret in Their Eyes – Eduardo Sacheri The English Patient - Michael Ondaatje Coin Locker Babies – Ryu Murakami The Hydrogen Sonata – Iain M. Banks

[neargaztambide]

Stanford Pines: the Tartini of Alex Hirsch

Is it me, or does Ford have a gigantic similarity to Giuseppe Tartini? Now, the person who’s reading will be asking: "Who the hell’s Giuseppe Tartini?"

Devil’s Trill and Previous Events:

To save you of the quest of searching in Google, and giving a very fast summary; Tartini was one of the most important musicians of the Baroque, a violinist who could be described as someone of bad character, because it is known that when he was young, when he heard someone better than him, he gave him a great attack of fury, which forced him to exile himself to practice in absolute loneliness, for a long time until he felt satisfied. Don't get him wrong: he was a prodigy, but what really mattered to him was to make his talent grow to unsuspected limits.  

One of the many nights in which Tartini was finally able to sleep after one of his arduous practice sessions, in dreams, he saw the devil himself. Far from being frightened by the presence of such a spawn, he found himself amazed by the personality of that being. This encounter took place in 1713. Before praying to God, Tartini handed his violin to the Devil, who began playing a romantic melody. According to a brief by astronomer Jérôme Lalande (Voyage d'un François en Italie, to be exact), it is said:

“It happened that, at one point, I gave him my violin and challenged him to play some romantic piece for me. My astonishment was enormous when I heard him play, with great bravery and intelligence, a sonata as unique and romantic as I had never heard before. Such was my wonder, ecstasy and delight that I was stunned and a violent emotion woke me up. ”

Although Tartini tried to play the melody immediately woke up from his excitement, he could not. However, thanks to this "encounter", Giuseppe was able to compose one of the most important works: the Devil's Trill, his interpretation of his “dream”. Who knows if this meeting was real. But what’s known is that thanks to this testimony, it’s believed that Tartini made a pact with the Devil. It’s known that, even at the end of his days, in the last minutes of the prodigy's life, he cried crying out to four winds that his version was a complete verbiage that would not reach even the shoes of the version that the Devil touched that night. 

You have heard the song for a good part of the reading.

The Story of Stanford Pines:

There’s no need to fully tell the story of our favorite six-fingered man: nothing more will have to be fixed between his adolescence (understand the event of the machine destroyed by Stanley) until when the Portal absorbs it.

Point A): The Slip

For Ford, after having dedicated who knows how much time to make his ticket to a good future, and that Stanley had broken it, that destroyed his soul. Imagine what it must have felt: an immense feeling of betrayal and great pain in the heart. After that, we all know the rest of the story:

Point B): The Self-imposed Enclosure

When Stanford went to Backup Smore, and trying to think what he would do with his future, taking advantage of his abilities, he did something different. Unconsciously obeying the foolish words of the abusers of his childhood, he decided to devote the rest of his life to rarity. And in Gravity Falls, using his own words: "I found my Bermuda triangle." Trying to find an answer to all the oddities of the town in the woods, he was able to find that cave in which a serpent tongue demon tempted him.

Point C): The Consequences

Loneliness. Bill Cipher wanted to enter. And Ford opened the door for answers. The cost, oh, the cost: the price for knowledge would be seclusion, paranoia; the madness.

And then ... 

the last price to pay ...

Putting the Puzzle Pieces in Place

First; the moment of inflection. For Tartini, it was when he heard the other violinist. For Stanford, it was Stanley's "betrayal."

Second; the closure for ambition. Tartini was so dedicated to his music, an almost insane obsession, reaching the point where Tartini could practice for twelve hours a day with hardly any rest. And with Ford it was the selection of his destiny.

Third; the deal with the unknown. As if it were a work worthy of HP Lovecraft, our gifted men made a deal with an evil being, and perhaps, of an almost incomprencible origin - this is much stronger in Stanford's case, and if you think hard enough, We don't know Bill's origin, so he can be given an origin of cosmic horror.

And finally; the time to settle debts. Tartini, was with his dead, or more specific, with the fact that he could never compose a work as perfect, as sublime as that of the Devil. And the price of Ford was the loss of his faculties on a certain scale, and the accident with the Portal.

I may be catching the logic by the hair: the coincidences are very repeated, and for anyone who has two front fingers will think that it was a mere coincidence, and I’m forcing a pseudo theory with some research and reasoning. Do you know how the first world war started? One Gavrilo Princip killed an earl, duke, but he was someone important; I think it was from Denmark.

The license plate of that important man coincided with the end of the war: November 11, 1918.

Perhaps a few may come to wonder how I put together the theory, and that has a relatively simple answer: I am that type of person who studies maths by listening to Mozart's Requiem, the Four Seasons of Vivaldi, or the Beethoven Ninth.

Cybergraphy:

-https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giuseppe_Tartini