sorry im emotonal and going off of the other asks sent about machete and just i need to stress how beautiful it is to me that machete sees himself so undeserving of love and affection and feeling as if vasco's too good for him but despite all that he is so incredibly devoted to vasco and loving towards him (in his own way) but is so incredibly clear to anyone with eyes that just how in love he is with vasco. like it's not done out of a "oh god please never realize that you're too good for me here here let me overdo it with the affection" its done with the "i love you, and will always love you, no matter what happens to us or separates us, and i will give it to you as long as i am able, and if you ever leave, i won't be okay, but will still love you, and want you happy". like he doesn't use his own feelings of being undeserving taint his love or the way he loves for vasco, and it's so, so beautiful
Was browsing through the wiki to get some reference and I've always found it interesting that Portrayals gave off the hint that Vertin captures their form's essence (through film most likely) and the descriptions of them are insight of the character from Vertin's perspective.
If we go by that logic...Schneider's Portrayal description ruins me.
etoiles who tries to be patient and tries to be kind and tries to help bad in his state of memory loss and confusion after purgatory, but still can’t help be suspicious of him. who works around how well he knows bad, because he knows bad is a liar, but he doesn’t say as much he just quietly puts in his own tests and precautions to gauge properly what level of fucked bad’s head is. who won’t stop reminding him of purgatory. does he remember the eggs? does he remember his home? does he remember how he slaughtered his friends ruthlessly over and over and over again? does he remember jaiden? charlie? does he remember how defenseless etoiles was when he stabbed him in the back? etoiles who knows how bad feels just by body language, who used to have the upmost respect and trust for his friend, his ally, his brother in arms - now holds him at arms length even at his most vulnerable.
something about etoiles asking what bad is hungry for, offering to fight (wanting to fight, now that the ground is even, now that he’s not defenseless, after bad had killed him when he was), and bad going “fight? why would I fight you, I thought we were friends?” and all etoiles can do is scoff. something about how even the most honorable and most patient have limits. something about how the consequences for bads actions - to himself and to others - are all finally compounding. how etoiles and bad’s relationship is forever changed by what happened in purgatory, and etoiles may still extend his hand to help him, give him strategies to remember things, but he’s doing so with a bitterness and a resentment.
things won’t be the same. things will never be the same. and the way etoiles can’t help bad without being sharp and angry about it proves this. because two weeks ago bad was family - and now, at bads worst, his most afflicted, most vulnerable, sure etoiles still offers help, and is more level headed than most about it, but he is in no means gentle or kind. he doesn’t want to help him. and that says everything.
anyone else get occasionally assaulted by thoughts of holmes and/or watson dying in sussex? like, maybe one day, when they are both very old, holmes wakes up to watson in his arms and he knows right away. he genuinely believed he would be the first to go. he steps downstairs and lights up a pipe. he stands there for a long time. he writes a few letters and sends them out. he walks around the house, observing everything. then he goes outside to sit near the bees. he listens to their soft humming and passes away in the sunshine.
or, one day, when they are both very old, watson comes back from the village to see holmes asleep in his chair. he knows right away. he genuinely believed he would be the first to go. he sobs and sobs and sobs. he writes letters by candlelight. then he writes more. he writes until he has nothing left to say. then he goes out and sits by the bees, who are all silent. he passes away under the moon.
no bc if you went and told my summer 2020 self who was in the good omens fandom pre-covid and got very deep into witcher during peak pandemic and got emotionally wrecked by The Mountain that now geraskier is like. not actually doing that bad and geralt called jaskier "jask" and genuinely and outwardly cares for his safety and it's actually ineffable husbands who are actually the ones in shambles right now she'd fucking hit you
look, i won't try to pretend that a fridge with 13 oishi bottles is surprising from the boy who spent all his food money for a month on one (1) cool bicycle on day one (1) of that month, BUT
the moment that fridge swung open all i could think was just. you know.
TFOTA update (major spoilers for book 1): chapter 20
this book just keeps throwing plot twist after plot twist after plot twist on me and I'm falling for every.single.one. gosh. first jude kidnaps the human girl to free her into the mortal world, and she drowns herself? Then Dain yells at Jude for the thing I WASN'T expecting (stabbing Valerian) and then Jude fucking KILLS Valerian not even a few minutes later, then buried the body in HER house, then Balekin gatecrashes and slaughters almost everyone in his fucking blood line in the matter of MINUTES. Madoc kills Dain?? And ghost kills Caelia?? Rhyia kills herself?? Taryn and Locke might secretly have an affair??
Jude feels pleasure in seeing Cardan miss out on the coronation bc he got drunk which is ironically the best thing he did bc he dodged a bullet?? Now Cardan is the only hope elfhame has, which is also super ironic since Jude was marvelling over how glad she was that cardan wasn't ever going to be king in the first few chapters.
so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
i need oviedo so bad its not even funny im out here thirsting for him looking like spongebob in the episode where he was dry as fuck. oviedito i can treat u right PLEASE😫🤲
ANON..... MY BELOVED ANON....... YOU MADE MY NIGHT AUDHSHF <3
here i drew something for you and oviedo enjoyers (and not ahem. ME... totally not.) we yearn for a big stoic companion who's a huge softie deep down for us