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kyber-crystal · 5 months ago

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10 things i hate about you || f.w.

summary: rumor has it that you and fred weasley are going out. being the instigators you two are, you decide to play into said rumors. but just how far could you go before you lose sight of the line between fiction and reality?

words: ~7.9k LMFAO I REALLY WENT OVERBOARD HERE

warnings: cheesiness, cliche 10 things i hate about you vibes, both y/n and fred being oblivious idiots. what’s more to love

a/n: you thought i’d avoid writing another fake dating fic? with fred? NEVER. ik there r some fake dating fred fics out there but i swear we need MORE bc this is the best trope ever idc. also made up a name for the school paper cs i forgot if it was a thing in the books/movies lol. reader is an implied gryffindor/ravenclaw but can technically be in whatever house you’d like : )

add yourself to my hp taglist here!

The problem with Hogwarts was that rumors spread through its halls like fiendfyre.

It all started during the Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Harry had narrowly caught the Snitch after a Dementor false alarm and carried the team to victory, causing the stadium to explode into ground-shaking cheers. Waves of deep crimson and gold were pouring onto the field and you almost got trampled in the midst of it until someone pulled you into the center.

“There you are—I was looking all over for you,” Fred beamed. “You were watching, right?”

“I was sitting front row…you literally saw me, Fred,” you stated plainly.

“I know, but I wanted to make sure,” he winked at you, sidelining you into a hug. “You look very pretty, by the way. I think my hat looks better on you than me.”

“Anddd there’s the woman of the hour! He couldn’t stop staring at you—almost crashed into the teachers’ section ‘cause of that,” Lee came over and clasped your shoulder.

“That’s what that was all about? Freddie, you need to get it together!”

“Can’t help when you’re as alluring as a Veela,” the compliment rolled effortlessly off his tongue. He then tilted his chin down to kiss your forehead, and you didn’t bother pushing him away despite the fact that he was all sweaty after being up in the air.

A bright flash of light pulled you out of Fred’s embrace, and you blinked to see Colin standing there with a wide grin on his face, camera in hand.

“Just capturing the moment,” the younger Gryffindor said excitedly. “This is gonna be a good one!”

You thought nothing of it until you went down to the Great Hall for breakfast the following morning. You went over to find your Ravenclaw friends, who seemed to be huddled around something, staring at it intensely.

“Oh, hey Y/N!” Cho beamed brightly at you, moving over to make room for you to sit next to her. “Have you seen the latest school newsletter?”

You filled your plate and took a copy of the Hogwarts Daily Digest that Padma gave you. “No…what’s it all about?”

“Check page 3,” she told you. You took a bite of your toast first, pausing as you scanned over the page. At the front and center was a moving picture of you and Fred embracing, him pressing a kiss to your temple, smiles of pure bliss on both your faces. You had to admit that Colin had a way with pictures; so much so that you almost would��ve believed you and Fred were a true couple just by looking at the article.

“So we’re going out, apparently,” you said, taking another bite of your food, “...Interesting.”

“Several students were interviewed about it, and they’re wondering if you guys are,” Cho explained. “With the way he kept looking over at you during the game, and how he was searching for you after it ended.”

“I—I’ve ought to talk to Fred himself, see what he thinks about this—” you spluttered, feeling hot all of a sudden. “I just—we’re not even—”

“But you would be very cute together,” your best friend added. “I mean, you have known each other for how long now? It wouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone if you were.”

At the end of the day, you went to the library to squeeze in some quiet alone time for reading, curling up on one of the plushy sofas near the bookshelves. You were deep into a mythical book that Hermione recommended, fully zoned in for what felt like forever until the cushion sank a bit, indicating that someone had sat down next to you.

“What do you want, Fred,” you sighed without even looking up from your book. “Come to bother me again?”

He took the book from your hands in response and closed it.

“Hey, I was reading that—” you began.

“I wanted to ask you about the article,” he stated, “don’t you think Creevey’s quite the photographer?”

You scoffed. “If this is about us being a couple, you know we’re not.”

“I was going to suggest something else.”

“And what is that?”

“Given that half the school is talking about us already,” he referred to the whispers in the halls that followed you from class to class, “why not play into the rumors a bit?”

“So you’re suggesting that, what?”

“That we say we’re a couple.”

“...you want to pretend that we’re going out?”

“Why not?”

“That’s insane,” you shot him a glare. “What do either of us get out of it?”

“Practice, of course,” Fred had a proud look on, “but also, why not have some fun with it?”

You stopped and thought about it for a second. He was right—who were you to not want to have a bit of fun? After all, it was just Fred; it couldn’t be that hard to fake-date someone, especially when you had no real feelings for them.

“Fine, but only on one condition.”

“What’s that, love?”

“Promise not to fall in love with me?” You stuck your hand out towards him.

Fred took it and gave it a firm shake, his signature mischievous grin making its appearance. “As long as you don’t fall for me either.”

“Dream on.”

He leans forward, voice dropping to a low whisper. “10 galleons says you’ll fall in love with me first.”

“Oh, please. 20 says you won’t even last half as long.”

“You’re on.”

So it began—settling into the whole routine was surprisingly easy. But of course, it was probably easier since you had money on the line; asides from George, you and Fred were the most competitive people in the entire school. You’d do anything for extra money, glory, and infinite bragging rights.

Making it a point to one-up each other, you began to brainstorm ways to really play up the whole “fake girlfriend” thing.

i. the pda competition, part 1

Monday afternoon’s Potions lesson proceeded as always, with Snape’s annoying, drawling voice instructing you on what to do.

Today’s class was boring but ended early, the only downside being that you were assigned a hefty load of homework.

“By the beginning of Wednesday’s class, you shall turn in to me two feet of parchment on the history of Strengthening Solution and its’ properties…” Snape ordered, “...for now, follow the instructions on the board. Ingredients are in the back. I expect the utmost perfection and accuracy…those who fail shall not be tolerated.”

Groaning internally, you headed to the back of the classroom towards the supply cabinets, Fred following close behind. Either Snape was out to get you both or it was sheer luck that had you paired together for this assignment.

“Wait, you forgot something,” Fred called out as you were about to walk away.

You turned around, a snarky reply ready. “What is—”

You didn’t even have the chance to finish your sentence when he grabbed you by the wrist and tugged you into his chest, kissing you square on the lips. You were completely taken by surprise and had no time to react whatsoever.

Low wolf-whistles and “ooohs” reverbrated throughout the entire classroom as you broke apart.

“What was that for?” you hissed.

There was a devilish grin on his face, and you so desperately wanted to wipe it right off him. “Just trying to be a good fake boyfriend, of course,” he whispered into your ear.

“Touch me again without warning and I’ll break your nose,” you said in a low tone, ignoring the heat rising up your cheeks.

“Miss Y/L/N…Mr. Weasley…” Snape said lowly, “...back to your seats, both of you. This is a classroom, not a bedroom. Get to work.”

Several students giggled at this and you huffed, heading back to your seat. You didn’t speak more than a few sentences to Fred for the remainder of the lesson, face still flushed from the sudden incident. He kept stealing glances at you as you worked in silence, adding the ingredients into your bubbling cauldron with careful, precise movements.

“That’s 1-0 to me,” he reminded you. “Better hurry and catch up, or I’m winning those Galleons.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” you muttered, uncapping the bottle in front of you and pouring some of the liquid in.

ii. the pda competition, part 2

After Fred had kissed you in the middle of a packed classroom, you were determined to get back at him, racking your brain for ideas.

You sat under a sprawling tree by the Great Lake with Cedric, Cho, Padma, Ernie, and several other Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw students. Somehow, you got lucky and all had matching free periods today, taking the opportunity to have a picnic by the water together.

“A little birdie told me that you and a special someone were going out,” Cedric pointed a finger at you, the other arm slung around Cho’s shoulders. “Now what’s going on?”

“They’ve always been mad about each other, only took them a million years to see it,” Ernie butted in. “Isn’t it obvious? One would think they’re already married at this point, though.”

“Who’s married to who?” you heard someone ask from behind you.

“Speak of the devil,” Ernie said, “there he is!”

“Was going to check on you—see you at supper?” Fred lightly touched your cheek. You nodded blindly, the skin of his hand hot on your face.

“Okay, I’ll meet you there.”

You turned back around to see everyone smirking at you knowingly.

“What?” you questioned, adjusting the collar of your shirt as if nothing had happened.

“Aren’t you two the cutest,” Cho laughed breathily, “Ernie was right. It’s like you’re married.”

“Oh shut up, we’re still much too young for that.”

“Not for long!”

Of course the only empty seat at the Gryffindor table that evening was next to Fred, and he made sure that you were sitting as close to him as humanly possible. All it would take was an extra few inches and you’d fully be sitting on his lap. You shook off the embarrassment and snapped back into it, determined to win the bet.

“I missed you all day, you know,” he admitted, placing a dinner roll onto your plate for you. “Where have you been?”

“By the lakes,” you said matter-of-factly. “Where else would I be?”

“With me, obviously.”

“I’d rather be anywhere else.”

“Well that hurt,” he pretended to look hurt. “I thought I was your favorite.”

“Second to last,” you joked. “Hey, wait—there’s something on your mouth.”

“Where?” he tried motioning around with his fingers but to no avail.

“Right…here…” you murmured, gently grasping his chin and pressing a lingering kiss to the corner of his lip, tasting a hint of the sweet cranberry sauce he’d been eating on the tip of your tongue. Loud gasps erupted through the Great Hall at the sudden private but public display.

Fred inhaled sharply—he knew you were bold, but like this? For once, the jokester had nothing sarcastic to counter you with and was at a loss for words.

When you pulled away, both yours and his faces were a shade of deep scarlet.

“Cat got your tongue?” you smirked, discreetly slipping a sheet of paper into his back pocket. “That’s 1-1 now, Fred.”

Again, Fred was left speechless.

“I feel like I’m interrupting something very…” Ron coughed, damn near choking on his chicken leg. “Intimate. Scandalous. Very—”

“Shut it, Ronald,” you cut him off. “Can’t a girl snog her boyfriend when she wants?”

More jaws dropped at your reply, and you simply continued eating, a victorious grin on your face. Fred looked down and fished the note out of his pocket, unfolding the smooth parchment to reveal your tidy penmanship.

Now who’s the flustered one? you know where to find me if you need me xx

You were so going to win.

iii. the serenade

You found yourself sitting on the bench watching the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice—it was Fred’s idea to show up to as many of them as possible to really sell the whole “fake dating” thing. You didn’t mind all that much, as you got bored easily and liked to have a change of scenery every so often while you were studying.

A loud, abrupt screech caused you to look up from your textbook and you winced, covering your ears.

“You’re just too good to be true…can’t take my eyes off of you…” a melodic voice began flowing across the stadium. Confused, you set your book down and stood up, looking around for the source of the noise.

“You’d be like Heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much…at long last love has arrived…”

Fred suddenly appeared from the commentator’s box, holding a microphone. He casually leaned against the pole before sliding down and hitting the bleachers, gracefully making his way down the steps.

“...And I thank God I’m alive…” his eyes remained focused on you, blazing gold and green. “You’re just too good to be true…”

“What the—”

He spun around and pointed at you, the corners of his lips quirking up in a childish grin, “...Can’t take my eyes off of you.”

“HIT IT, WOOD!” you heard someone (was that Lee?) yell, and music began blasting from the speakers.

Your friends were eyeing you with delight, fully entertained by the fact that you had absolutely no clue what was happening. Fred continued singing while he sauntered down the bleachers with a grace that you had never seen.

“I love you, baby, and if it's quite alright

I need you, baby, to warm the lonely night

I love you, baby, trust in me when I say

Oh, pretty baby, don't bring me down, I pray

Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay

And let me love you, baby, let me love you”

A blush coated your cheeks as he finally approached you, taking one of your hands in his and twirling you around. He held your gaze the entire time, eyes alight with what looked like genuine joy and passion. The rest of your classmates joined in as they crowded around you, joining together in one voice.

It was impossible to hold back the smile creeping up your face as Fred continued to sing—he was undeniably charming, and you had to admit, this was well worth suffering a brief loss for.

“Oh pretty baby, trust in me when I say…” the final lyrics left his mouth and everyone burst into applause. He made a show of bowing dramatically and kissing your hand in an exaggerated motion.

You rolled your eyes at the overly extravagant gesture. But deep down, you had enjoyed every second of the impromptu serenade.

Within minutes after it ended, Fred’s musical spectacle was the talk of the school. Students nudged each other in the corridors as you passed by, whispering words of encouragement, saying how they wished for a relationship like yours, and wondering where they could possibly find someone like Fred.

You felt him slip something into your robe’s pocket. Fred had sidled up next to you as you headed up the stairs to the common room, still grinning widely.

“2-1,” he reminded you, kissing your cheek before turning to the Fat Lady and uttering the password. He stepped through the portrait hole and turned back to wait for you, then walked all the way inside. “Better continue that game of catch up, I might just steal the title of ‘best fake partner ever’ from you.”

There’s that beautiful smile, the note read. Keep it on for me, will you?

iv. the nightmare

Your body seemed to have a mind of its own, because it was 3:27 a.m. and you were wide awake after barely squeezing in a few hours of sleep.

Nothing you did worked; even the Potion for Dreamless Sleep had failed to keep the nightmares at bay. You didn’t last long before jolting awake, beads of sweat forming at your forehead and chest heaving with raggedy, jagged breaths.

After several minutes of tossing and turning you gave up, quietly tiptoeing down the stairs to the common room. The fireplace was on, indicating that someone was already there—

“Y/N?” Fred turned around from his spot on the couch to look at you. “What’re you doing up at this hour?”

You yawned, “I could ask you the same thing.”

“Finishing an assignment,” he sighed, rubbing his forehead. Sheets of parchment, a vial of ink, and several books were spread out on the coffee table. “You?”

“Nothing,” you lied, sitting down next to him. “Couldn’t sleep.”

He didn’t miss the hoarse tone in your voice nor your tear-stained face, stopping what he was doing to fully focus on you. “Now I know that’s not true. What’s bothering you, really?”

“I said I’m fine, just can’t sleep.” You let out a shuddering sigh and attempted to will the tears away, but your vision began to blur. “Go finish your work—”

“Hey.” Fred’s voice was soft. “Come here.”

His arms gingerly wrapped around your trembling frame to envelop you into a tight hug. He reached one hand up to smooth out your hair as you shook with silent sobs, your hands curling into the fabric of his robes as if holding onto him would keep you from slipping away and losing yourself again.

Fred was never one to be patient, but he knew that you just needed this moment free of chaos. So he waited, laying there with you as he continued murmuring soothing words into your ear, gently rubbing your back; he’d wait for as long as he’d need to.

You didn’t know how much time passed until the tears ran themselves dry and your throat felt like it had been scraped raw.

“Want to tell me what happened?” he suggested. “But only if you’re comfortable, that is.”

You hesitated, wondering if it was a good idea to tell him. Maybe he’d think you were strange…but seeing how he looked so genuine in that moment changed your mind.

“I lost you…I lost everyone. I watched you die, Fred.” Your voice was cracked and raw, which sent a pang through his chest. The image of Fred’s lifeless body trapped between the rubble flashed across your vision, feeling as if it was wrapping its cold fingers around your throat. “I watched you all die and I couldn’t save you.”

“But I’m alive and well right now, aren’t I?” he assured you calmly, “I’ll be here for as long as you want me around. You’ll have to fight to the death to get rid of me.”

Managing a broken laugh, you looked up at him. “Really?”

“Really. What are fake boyfriends for, anyway?” His hand found its place against your cheek, fingers gently skimming across your skin. You leaned into his touch and let out a sigh, lips just barely brushing over his palm.

“No one’s here, Fred…you don’t need to pretend.”

“I know I don’t.” Any and all traces of half-witted sarcasm were gone; wiped clean off his face. Instead, his eyes were glossed over with concern as they raked over yours. “Figured I could keep you company? Since I didn’t want you to be alone in your head like this.”

“I’d like that.”

He then passed a familiar folded square to you, and you opened it with a smile.

I’m here, whenever you need - F.W

v. the hospital wing run-in

“For Godric’s sake, how many more times will I have to see you in here?” Madam Pomfrey demanded as she hurried around, setting a metal tray by your bedside. “This is the third time this month.”

“Sorry,” you winced as you shifted your injured leg onto the pillow she’d set out.

“What is it this time?”

“I broke my ankle.”

“Doing what, exactly?”

Pursing your lips, you elected to tell her the modified version of the story, which was the one where you had tripped while going down the stairs, not the one that included running down the Astronomy Tower after sneaking up there for a dare (the twins’ doing).

She shook her head in disbelief, glancing over the cuts on your face and fixing the bandages around your foot. “You’ll be in here for a few days. We’ll have to regrow the bones in your foot and ankle…my, how someone can break this many bones just from missing a step, I can’t seem to understand…what are all of you doing here?”

You followed her gaze to where Hermione, Ginny, Cho, and Fred were standing by the hospital wing’s entrance, alight with excitement upon seeing that you were awake.

“Guys—”

“Miss Granger, Miss Weasley, and Mr. Weasley, need I remind you that no visitors are allowed at this time! I advise that you all head back,” Madam Pomfrey ordered sharply.

“But we haven’t seen her all last night and this morning! Can we just stay for a minute,” Hermione begged. “Please?”

The older woman sighed as she scanned your friends (and fake? boyfriend’s) desperate, pleading faces. “...Alright, then. Don’t stay too long and for Godric’s sake, let her breathe.”

They immediately crowded around your bed and Fred walked over to your side, crouching down so that you were eye level with him.

“There’s my princess,” his charming persona was back in full force, and he smoothly brushed a few stray hairs out of your face. For what felt like the eleventh time, he was swooping in to kiss your cheek. Not that you were counting. “How’re you feeling?”

“Better now that you’re here,” you winked as you attempted to prop yourself into an upright position, but failed, giving up and flopping back down. “Ow. My foot.”

Ginny pretended to throw up on Hermione, who then elbowed her in the stomach. “Ow!” she yelped. “What was that for?”

“Let’s leave the happy couple alone,” she hissed, and they slowly backed away to give you some space.

Fred pulled up a chair next to your bedside, propping his chin in his hand to stare at you. “I’m sorry, really. I didn’t mean for you to end up with five broken bones.”

“And a concussion, a killer headache, and not to mention dozens of sore muscles,” you grimaced, but felt a slight ache in your chest when you realized he looked genuinely guilty. “I don’t blame you, really. I mean, I was just as stupid and reckless. I definitely could’ve been more careful but I wasn’t.”

“I’m supposed to mess up your lipstick,” he groaned, “not your bones.”

“Someone took ‘public displays of affection’ the wrong way,” you said sarcastically, and then there was a brief moment of silence before you both burst into laughter.

“Damn right he di—OW, Hermione!”

“Gin, let’s go!” With that, the two girls left the hospital wing, leaving the two of you alone.

“Why are you here, anyway? Hermione and Ginny are because they’re my friends, and you’re my—”

“—lovely, charming, undeniably handsome boyfriend, of course. Why wouldn’t I be here?” Fred finished your sentence for you.

“Right,” your voice was dripping with sarcasm, “I just can’t seem to get rid of you, can I? It seems like you’re always around.”

“And yet, you don’t push me away,” a smile tugged at his lips. “Which clearly means that I’m just that irresistible. I don’t need a charm or some silly love potion to reel you in.”

“Don’t think that because I’m incapacitated, this game is over,” you warned him. “I will beat your arse to a pulp, and you’ll be twenty Galleons lighter. I bet you’re madly in love with me already.”

“Believe what you want, my darling,” he sing-songed, twirling his wand between his fingers. “But we all know I’ve already won this game.”

“Yeah, right. We’re tied now, by the way. That’s for getting me injured.”

“Oi! You can’t just—”

“Shh…don’t come crying to me ‘till you lose.”

He ended up staying overnight.

You didn’t protest at all.

Neither did Madam Pomfrey later that evening after seeing him slumped over on your bed, fast asleep, one hand clutching yours like you were the only thing he had left to lose.

vi. the howler

For once you managed to get to the Great Hall before Fred did. The bloke was always criminally late or ridiculously early to everything; it was almost laughable how there was no in between for him.

He finally showed up just ten minutes before breakfast was supposed to end, breathing hard with his hair all messed up.

“What’d I miss?” he asked you.

“Nothing,” you responded. “Just another ordinary day…”

A gust of wind suddenly swept through the hallway causing the napkins to flutter in the air. A giant grey owl came swooping down onto the table and landed straight in front of Fred, clutching an envelope in its curved talons.

“What’s Errol doing here? We’re not supposed to get our daily mail til’ tomorrow,” Ron gawked, “surprised that he’s here given the number of times he’s collapsed mid-delivery—oh blimey Fred, you must be in trouble! You’ve got a Howler!”

Several Gryffindors around you giggled at this.

With a slight look of confusion and fear, Fred carefully removed the seal on the bright red envelope. Molly Weasley’s booming voice immediately came bursting from the pages.

“FRED WEASLEY, HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME THAT YOU WERE DATING MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW! I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU—Y/N dear, if you’re hearing this, I’m very happy for you and hope to see you at the Burrow soon, I’ll make sure to whip up some homemade custard for you—YOU OUGHT TO TREAT HER RIGHT, BOY, OR ELSE! I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD AND I SURE AS MERLIN CAN TAKE YOU RIGHT OUT!”

A silence fell over the entire Great Hall and Fred sat there, in shock. The red envelope folded itself up and then burst into flames, its ashes crumbling to the floor.

“I’ve never seen him turn that red,” George sniggered. “You’re bloody brilliant, Y/N.”

“Y-you did this?” Fred spluttered.

“Can’t say I didn’t,” you hummed, patting his head affectionately. “Your mum was bound to find out, one way or another.”

“And you thought this was the best idea?”

“Aww, is little Freddie all embarrassed?” you teased. “Never thought I’d live to see that day.”

“Quit gloating,” the redhead grumbled. “You haven’t won yet. Better sleep with one eye open tonight.”

vii. the pda competition, part ∞

As it turned out, continuing to slip into your fake relationship only became more fun as the days and weeks dragged on. And being competitive only added to the fun, as you were scrambling to one-up each other.

You often opted to hold his hand when walking from place to place, which wasn’t difficult given that you were almost always with him now and had to sell the idea that you really were together. His hands were rough and calloused from all those hours working on joke shop prototypes, but they were still surprisingly comforting. A way to keep you grounded when your head got stuck in the clouds.

Fred’s signature move was, of course, dropping random kisses on your cheek when you didn’t expect it. Sometimes, when he was feeling bolder than usual, that would change to the tender spot between your ear and jaw, your shoulder, or your nose. And each of those times he made sure they were extra drawn-out and that you were in a crowded area so others would see it. The courtyard. The Quidditch pitch. The classroom (two of those incidents were in Potions, much to Snape’s dismay. He didn’t even bother taking points off due to being too disgusted).

“I have a massive exam today,” he declared loudly to you as you stood in front of his upcoming class together. “I think I’m going to need a kiss.”

“Why?” you scoffed. “What do you need that for?”

“For good luck,” Fred said, “it’s kind of a tradition, isn’t it?”

“You…want a kiss for good luck?” you started.

“I’m waiting…” he sang, face turned slightly in an invitation. You sighed and went up on your tiptoes, doing as he asked. “Thank you. But you have terrible aim…you missed.”

“I fear you’re having way too much fun with this,” you muttered. “Don’t make excuses. My lips are not going near yours unless they absolutely need to now.”

“Oh come on, you know you’re having loads of fun too,” he called out as he walked into the classroom. “Catch you later, sweetheart!”

viii. the butterbeer (alt: the pda competition, part ∞)

It was the day of another Hogsmeade outing and you were hand-in-hand with Fred as you walked down the cobblestone streets together. You had planned to spend the day alone for the most part and join Cho for a meal, but Fred had cornered you at breakfast and insisted you go on a date with him.

“To keep up the façade,” he insisted. “Wouldn’t people find it odd if the castle’s favorite couple wasn’t together?”

You nodded and didn’t protest further; you had no energy to do so anyway. It was far too cold for your taste; you had been dragged out without having time to grab your gloves, blowing hot hair into your hands that were steadily growing numb.

“Love,” he called for you as he took your hands in his, “oh, your fingers feel like ice.”

“No…shit…” your teeth chattered as you attempted to respond steadily. “Might lose ‘em if we don’t hurry up and get inside—”

“Wait one second,” Fred said as you two stopped right outside the Three Broomsticks, wasting no more time in taking his gloves off and handing them to you to put on, while he wrapped his house scarf around your neck. “There. Let’s head in.”

“But—”

“Boyfriend duties, remember?” he winked at you as he pushed the door open, holding it for you to step inside first. “Come on. I think a butterbeer or two’ll warm you up.”

Fred’s hand remained on the small of your back, pressing in gently to lead you to a cozy booth in the back. The added warmth felt quite nice, you thought, but you also wondered how he managed to stay like a human furnace when it the weather outside was so dreadfully cold.

It was hard not to stare at him; catching his gaze every so often while sipping your drink. His hair was all tousled from the frigid winds; you took notice of the way it slightly curled out at the ends, glowing under the hazy yellow bar lights. It was annoyingly endearing how he could look so flawless without any effort and even more so that you didn’t have anything snarky to say.

“Fred, I think we’re being followed…” you whispered as you scanned the near vicinity, fingers brushing against the rim of your mug. There in the far opposite corner sat Padma, Ernie, Cedric, and Cho, attempting to look nonchalant as if they weren’t half-stalking you but they were doing a rather terrible job at it. You quickly looked away.

“So? Isn’t that what we want—for people to see us?” he countered with a tone of confidence. His voice dropped low as he continued to speak to you. “Why don’t we give them a show? No need to be so private.”

Your face burned. “What do you—”

“Not like that,” he chuckled lowly, “what did you think I meant?”

“I…”

Fred paused, then raised his hand and brushed something off your cheek with his thumb. “You’ve got something on your face.”

“Oh, so we’re playing that game now, are we?”

“Indeed, my lady.”

You scoffed quietly and imitated his motion, reaching up to smooth out the crease that had formed between his brows. “Put a smile on your face, why don’t you? You look better that way.”

“I always look good, though.”

“I look better than your greasy arse.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Oh yeah?” you challenged. “I’d like to see you tr—”

Before you could say anything else and before he could stop himself from what he was doing, Fred placed a hand on the nape of you neck and pulled you in, kissing you without another word. All protests left behind flew right out the window (along with your morals, too, you thought) and for a split second, it almost didn’t feel like you were pretending at all.

When you broke apart eventually, breaths a little heavy, neither of you needed to look over to see that your friends were gaping in shock, mouths dropped wide open. Sure, Fred was confident and cocky and you were equally so, but both of you would be lying if you said this didn’t take you by surprise.

“You still keeping track?” His voice still had that low, almost husky tone to it. He was cupping your cheek now, and you let him keep doing so. “There can only be one victor, right?”

“Wouldn’t forget it,” you exhaled. “You think we look convincing enough right now?”

“Without a shadow of a doubt.”

ix. the thunderstorm

The day’s exciting Care of Magical Creatures lesson was cut thirty minutes short due to the heavy downpour that had suddenly came crashing down, bringing with it a booming thunderstorm and soaking all your clothes within minutes.

“Well, that’s it fer today, everyone,” Hagrid announced, “now let’s head back inside, don’ want yeh to catch a cold, we’ll continue when the weather lets up…”

You wrapped your cloak tighter around yourself and flipped the hood on over your head, eyes narrowing as you stared up at the suddenly stormy grey sky. It just had to be on the one day you got to go outside and do something exciting, damn it….

It was freezing, nearly as horrible as that one day in Hogsmeade, and you wanted nothing more in that moment than to simply curl up by the fireplace with Hermione, the Patil twins, and Cho, and talk all evening long. If you could even make it back to the castle in one, unfrozen piece, maybe you’d at least get your hands on some hot chocolate from the kitchens…

A warm hand found yours amidst the strong winds, and all of a sudden you didn’t feel so cold anymore.

As if he had read your mind, Fred said, “how about we sneak into the kitchens and grab something to drink? Hot chocolate, perhaps?”

“Sounds perfect,” you smiled and he draped an arm over your shoulders, bringing you into his side. It felt so natural now, like this wasn’t part of some long-standing bet to fool the whole school; as if you were just two best friends trying to keep warm in subpar temperatures. And it was almost too easy to get used to it.

“Oblivious idiots. I told them for years that they’d be perfect together and it’s only this year that they start going out,” George exclaimed from several yards behind, walking side-by-side with Lee Jordan. “Dunno why it took them so long.”

“Love takes time, obviously,” said Lee as he watched Fred lean into your ear and say something, and you giggled lightly in response, “and now, what matters is that I finally have an excuse to make fun of them during Quidditch matches.”

“Oh—good point.”

“And you’ve noticed that he stopped pranking her? Unlike him, isn’t it?”

“Wait…” George paused as he took in Lee’s questions. His mouth formed an ‘o’ in realization. “He’s utterly whipped, that git.”

“What happens when boyfriend duties overcome prankster duties…this is perfect. Professor Flitwick owes me 2 galleons. I called it that he’d fall first!”

“You bet on them?” George squawked. “With Flitwick?”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t either,” Lee laughed, “I know you did too.”

The expression on George’s face shifted into one of defeat. “I lost,” he muttered, “I owe McGonagall 3 galleons.”

x. verum exeat (let the truth come out)

The Gryffindor common room was alight with chatter once again. After a long, grueling week of exam revisions, Quidditch practice, and a brutal match to be remembered, Lee and the twins decided that a small celebration was in order. They had originally planned on inviting half the damn school but after arguing with Hermione, had to shrink the party down to just their smaller, usual friend group (they swore up and down that they’d clean up and not get detention like last time, but she wouldn’t buy it).

But you knew that if things had the Weasley twins’ names pasted next to them, they’d be far from peaceful; as far as you could possibly get—no matter how big or small.

“Oh, there you are,” you heard someone say from behind, and turned around to see that it was Hermione.

“Not drinking?”

“Someone’s got to take care of the boys after they go wild, right?” she explained. “Besides…I can’t stand the taste of firewhisky. It burns.”

You offered a tired half-smile and agreed. “Yeah. You’re right.”

Hermione seemed to be deep in thought for a moment until she told you, “You’re very lucky, you know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“To have Fred, that is. To find someone who’s that in love with you, it’s quite rare.”

“Oh, please,” you tried to suppress a laugh, “I told you why we’re doing what we’re doing.”

“And?” Hermione raised an eyebrow at you, “feelings change. Bet or no bet, he cares about you and anyone would be crazy not to see that. Ronald is half-blind and he can tell, too. You can’t possibly tell me that everything you’ve done up to this point has been a lie.”

“It’s meant nothing to me,” you said bitterly. “I hate him.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do. And it doesn’t help that he’s everywhere,” you stopped to take a swig of firewhisky, “and I can’t stand it!”

“Do you not, really?”

“I do, but I—”

“You what?”

“I just hate him!”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you think? I hate everything about him!” you exclaimed, exasperated. “I hate the way he always tries to compete with me, I hate the way he doesn’t take things seriously, I hate that stupid, annoying little smirk he has on his face half the time I see him—”

You inhaled quickly; it felt like you’d just drank an entire vital of Veritaserum with the way that words were tumbling out of your mouth. Hermione gave you a look that seemed to say ‘Go on,’ so you did, “—I hate the way he walks down to the Great Hall every morning with his annoyingly perfect messy hair, I hate the way he risks freezing his arse off to give me his favorite gloves so that I don’t get hypothermia, I hate the way it’s so easy for him to kiss—borderline snog me like it’s nothing, I hate how this is all just supposed to be a game of pretend, and—and most of all, I hate the way he made me fall in love with him without even trying. I hate the way I don't actually hate him. Not even close, not even a little bit…not even at all…”

“You…really mean that?”

You whirled around to see that Fred was standing right behind you with his hands behind his back, eyes hopeful, and you felt your heart drop down to your stomach. “Fred—”

“Y/N, I—”

Suddenly it seemed like the walls were closing in on you from all sides, the room spinning; and then, everything around you jumbled into one chaotic mess of noise and color. Without looking to see either his or Hermione’s reactions, without caring that half the room had stopped to see what was going on, you pushed past your friends and quickly clambered out of the portrait hole.

“What was that about?” Ron’s nose crinkled in confusion. “So much for being a cute couple. Now this is just sad.”

“Will you shut it, Ronald,” Hermione whacked him on the shoulder.

“OW—”

“Stop being so dramatic! Don’t let me catch you drinking even one more shot or I will drag your arse back to bed,” she snapped.

“Pleeeease do, I would lov—ow, ow, OW! OKAY!” Ron exclaimed as she pinched his ear and began dragging him away. “Okay! I’ll leave them alone, I’ll stop…”

Chest heaving and vision blurring with tears, you rushed outside, desperate for a breath of fresh air. It was quiet in the courtyard asides from the faint trickling of water but that did little to calm you down; it was still too loud, too chaotic, too much. Sitting down at the marbled edge of one of the fountains, you tried to catch your breath and balance, but the world still kept spinning…it felt like it wouldn’t stop spinning; for Merlin’s sake. All you wanted to do was crawl into a hole and disappear forever, or jump off the Astronomy tower and fly off to a distant land. You didn’t want to have to worry about how you poured your entire damn heart out in the middle of the common room about your fake boyfriend.

Your fake boyfriend that you realized, with horror, you had begun to develop not-fake feelings for.

A chill ran through you at that moment and you shivered.

Then the feeling of something warm—a thick coat—being draped over your shoulders shook you out of your trance. You instinctively slid it tighter around yourself.

“Thought I might find you out here,” said Fred. You opened your mouth, ready to ask how in Godric’s name he knew where you were at all times when he didn’t even have the Maurader’s Map anymore, but stopped. This was Fred Weasley, and you had spent an unhealthy amount of time around each other over the past several months that he had to have picked up on your little habits. He was more observant than he let on.

“What are you doing out here?” You couldn’t bring yourself to look up at him.

“I couldn’t leave you alone outside to freeze, could I?” he asked, sitting down next to you. “What kind of boyfriend would that make me?”

“Please, just…” you inhaled sharply, “I can’t do this. You won. I lost. The game’s over, Weasley.”

“On a last-name basis now, are we? Ouch,” he said jokingly, but dropped the teasing lilt in his voice when he noticed your eyes starting to water. “Talk to me, Y/N.”

“It just isn’t fair,” you whispered, looking down at your feet.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not fair,’” your voice faltered, “you’re not supposed to do that. To do this.”

“Do what?”

“To sabotage the bet. To make me lose track of the scores.”

“Well, I stopped counting, you know,” Fred admitted, tucking a hair behind your hair. “There’s no need to keep track anymore, I think we’ve done enough convincing, don’t you think?”

“But that’s the problem!” your voice cracked as you finally turned to look at him. “It isn’t that I’m probably going to be dozens of Galleons poorer after this. It’s that I’m feeling something I shouldn’t, that…that you made me fall in love with you—”

“Y/N—”

“—I hate the way I care about you far more than I should,” you continued on, “and I hate myself even more for even wishing what we had was real. Because it was all fake, Fred, and you know it. We were faking it, and—”

“Y/N,” he repeated more sternly this time, causing you to stop mid sentence. “Look, I already told you I stopped keeping track. After that night in the common room….that’s when I realized I couldn’t. Lee damn near had to hit me over the head and force-feed me Veritaserum to admit that I was in deep. Galleons and glory be damned, I didn’t care about any of that anymore; it was easy for me to pretend when I was already in love with you.”

“But we weren’t supposed to fall in love, that was the rule,” you sniffed, wiping a tear from your cheek, “I thought we were supposed to follow the rules.”

Fred’s lips twitched into a smirk. “Well, I think some rules are made to be broken.”

And then, he was closing the gap and connecting your lips in a deep kiss. The gentle motion cut through the chilly evening air, washing over you in a blazing heat that had you melting into a haze of firewhisky, adrenaline, and something that smelled distinctly like a crackling log fire and cinnamon.

You had kissed him multiple times before this, but this one felt different than all the rest. It didn’t feel like you were doing it for show in the slightest; it felt genuine and warm and so real.

And the biggest difference was that you never wanted it to come to an end.

“So?” The grin on his face was palpable; contagious, as you broke apart, “What do you say, we stop faking it?”

“Are you fake breaking up with me?” you gasped and pretended to look surprised. “Way to ruin the moment.”

“I’m asking to real-date you, darling,” he said.

“There’s no money on the line this time?”

“No,” he hummed as he leaned forward to kiss you a second time and pretended to think for a second, “but there might be something else on the line instead.”

“And what is that ‘something else?’”

“You’ll have to wait a few years and see.”

xi. the promise

—FOUR YEARS LATER—

Fred was a great planner, of course. “Brilliant,” Harry would say, “absolutely brilliant.” He might’ve been a jokester, but he was a very organized jokester. He always knew what he was going to do and when.

So when it came to you, he thought he had a plan. He thought he had it planned for years; he was thinking fireworks, extravagant displays in the sky, taking you on a sunset ride across Romania on one of Charlie’s dragons. Something to match your free and daring spirit.

But, the moment ended up presenting itself on its own.

It was an ordinary night with yours and Hermione’s families joining the Weasleys for a quiet weekend at the Burrow. Mr. Weasley was listening intently as Mr. Granger and Harry explained the function of rubber ducks and the Internet in great detail, and the rest of you chatted with your parents, Mrs. Weasley, and Mrs. Granger by the kitchen counter about post-graduation plans.

Mrs. Granger had made an off-hand, passing comment about how lovely your silver bracelet—the one with charms of yours’ and Fred’s initials and Patronuses dangling from it—looked on your wrist. And then Fred was saying, “I know something else that would look great on her,” and taking a small box out of his pocket and flipping it open, revealing a blinding bright, silvery diamond ring.

Even as shouts of realization and cheers of joy rose up from around the kitchen, the world seemed to fade away into complete silence when he put the ring on your finger and encircled his arms around your torso, kissing your cheek and whispering into your ear,

“I told you there was something else, didn’t I?”

tags: @xhanthexzoria @arkofblake @fictionalsimp449 @polar-myst @katelikeslaughs @lmllsl @schlattandcompany

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x you #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fluff #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #hp fanfic #hp imagine #fred weasley fic #hogwarts

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kxsagi · 13 days ago

Note

HIII this is my first time requesting so😭😭

I was wondering if you could make the bllk boys having a streamer gf who's basically the funniest person ever?? Like she lowkey glazes herself and then the next moment she starts cringing when she sees the "y/n core" videos on tiktok. (You can add any1, just plzlzlzlzl add Hiori, Karasu, n Kaiser!!)

Bonus prompt: maybe streamer reader who still stays up late at night to stream and her bf is so deadass tired of her yelling and screaming in the other side of the room that he comes there and stares at her while the door creaks slowly as she plays horror games. She gets jump scared by her ugly ahh bf /j

“𝐢’𝐦 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 *𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬*”

a/n: this had to be one of my favorite requests to write for

and i'm sorry i couldn't figure out a better title idea 💀

ft. hiori yo, karasu tabito, kaiser michael, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, isagi yoichi, shidou ryusei, nagi seishiro

hiori yo

hiori didn’t even realize you were a streamer when he first met you. he just thought you were like, a social butterfly with a particularly aggressive discord server.

then one night, he saw you on twitch – camera on, screaming over a boss fight, yelling “I GOT THAT DOG IN ME” before immediately dying. you threw your headset across the room. it was love at first sight.

your duality confuses him so bad. you’ll be on stream going “guys i’m literally a divine being sent by the simulation to enlighten humanity with my content 😋” and then an hour later you’re doomscrolling tik tok whispering, “why did someone make a ‘me-core’ edit using ✨creepy reverb lana del rey audio✨… i don’t even own a taxidermy bunny.”

hiori has a burner tik tok account where he just likes all your edits. he won’t admit it. but he does.

if you stream late at night, he always gets up halfway through, rubbing his eyes, looking like a baby panda, and just mumbles “babe… pls… not the five nights at freddy’s mod again…”

you get jump scared and scream, not because of the game, but because he’s standing in the dark doorway like a victorian child ghost. “you almost made me shit my chair, don’t do that!” “bed. now.” you whine until he drags you off cam by the hoodie. your viewers think it’s romantic.

karasu tabito

karasu found your stream randomly one night and IMMEDIATELY followed because “wait… why is she kinda insane. i like that.”

he joins your discord and bullies you lovingly in VC. “yo, did you just hype yourself up and then lose to a 12-year-old in valorant? L-stream, honestly.” “i’m literally god. i am the main character. i could seduce anyone, anytime.” “bold of you to say that while getting shot in the ass by a roblox avatar.”

but he also unironically thinks you’re the funniest person ever. he clips your dumbest moments and adds meme captions before sending them in your friend group chat.

every time you find a “[name]-core” tik tok you audibly gag. “WHO MADE THIS. WHY IS IT SLOWED + REVERB. WHY AM I STANDING IN A FIELD. WHY IS THE CAPTION ‘she was soft, but strong’-- I JUST STREAM MINECRAFT.”

karasu’s like “nah, but they ate with that. that’s exactly your vibe.” he’ll even say that on stream just to watch you suffer.

during horror streams, he intentionally opens the door and just stands there like a menace with a cup of water. you scream and almost die IRL. “WHY ARE YOU BUILT LIKE A LOUD JUMPSCARE???” “you love me 😌”

kaiser michael

kaiser is an attention whore. the second he found out you had a fanbase, he started doing PR. “this stream would be way better if you had a hot cohost, just saying.” “do you want to play or are you just here to inflate your ego?” “yes.”

you constantly glaze yourself on cam like “i’m carrying this server. i’m so powerful. how do people even function without me,” and then kaiser strolls in behind you and goes, “hey guys, don’t believe her lies. she just got killed by a goat in-game.”

your chat LOVES him and it pisses you off. “WHY are y’all saying ‘kaiser nation rise’?? this is MY stream!!”

he deadass becomes a meme. someone edits him with villain music every time he enters your room while you’re playing horror games.

you’re about to beat a boss when you hear the door go creeeeeak. kaiser leans in with the most punchable face asking, “need help, champ?” you throw your mouse.

but also? he tucks you in when you pass out in your gaming chair at 2 AM, muttering “of course she passed out mid-stream again.” turns off your lights and sets an alarm for you.

you wake up to a note that says “your villain made you breakfast, don’t get used to it 🌹”

itoshi rin

rin hates stream culture. HATES. IT. he walked into your room one night and heard you go “i’m literally slay-coded and built like a tax return,” and just stood in the doorway like you were a stranger. “what the hell are you talking about.” “it’s for the brand, babe.”

he’s always muttering under his breath when you’re live. like you’ll be gaming with the mic hot and rin’s just in the back going “why is she screaming like that. it’s a raccoon, not satan.”

you scream again and he yells back, “IT’S NOT EVEN CHASING YOU.”

chat lives for it. they call him “the offscreen hater,” and you know someone made a slowed-down tik tok of his blurry silhouette in the background of your cam with the caption “he doesn’t love the world, but he loves her.” you wanted to die.

sometimes, he just opens your door mid-stream and doesn’t say anything. just stares. and leaves. you get scared every time.

“guys my boyfriend just jumpscared me more than this entire horror game.” rin offscreen: “skill issue.”

itoshi sae

sae’s your boyfriend, your mod, your stream saboteur. he’s not even subtle.

he’ll donate to your stream under fake names like “bankruptcy enjoyer” or “ur bf’s hotter” and say things like “why does she act like she’s funny. someone humble her.”

you know it’s him. he doesn’t even try to hide it. when you call him out, he just goes, “prove it. court of law style.”

sae walks in when you’re in full hype mode yelling “I’M A NATIONAL TREASURE,” and he just raises an eyebrow like, “they lied to you.”

he takes photos of you mid-stream while you’re frozen mid-yell or making some cursed expression and sends them to the group chat. “can someone please take her internet away.”

during your horror streams, he’ll open the door just to toss something into the room, like a pillow or sock, and you’ll scream and fall off your chair. he’s laughing like a proud gremlin. “you’re the worst!” “and yet you keep letting me in.”

isagi yoichi

isagi is the sweetest mod to ever exist. he’s there in chat cleaning up spam, pinning your donation goals, hyping you up like “SHE’S GOT THIS 🔥” every time you enter a boss fight.

he also helps you review VODs and timestamps your funniest moments. he’s invested in your stream like it’s the world cup.

you’ll be gassing yourself up like “i’m the blueprint, i’m the moment, i’m the–” and isagi’s in chat like “YOU ARE 🫡.”

but then… you find a “[name]-core” video with melancholic lofi and black-and-white clips of you saying things like “i think my toaster’s gaslighting me” and you spiral.

isagi tries so hard not to laugh. “i mean… it is kinda deep if you think about it.”

he’s so sleep-deprived because of your night streams. there was one time you screamed during a horror game and he ran in half-asleep, baseball bat in hand, yelling “WHO’S HERE?! WHO HURT YOU?!”

it was just a pixel zombie. you peed a little from laughing.

shidou ryusei

shidou would rather die than miss one of your streams. he doesn’t even care about the gameplay, he’s there for the chaos.

every time you start acting delulu, he matches your energy like “YEAH SHE’S A GODDESS, ALL HAIL HER.” “i will smite you, shidou.” “okay mommy 🥴”

he hijacks your streams. if you don’t lock your door, he’s bursting in with a red bull and climbing onto your bed in the background like a jungle gym.

one time he scared the life out of you by opening your window mid-stream while you were playing a horror game. you screamed and accidentally headbutted your mic.

chat was crying laughing. someone made a gif of it and called it “shidou jumpscare arc.”

he once made a “[name]-core” video entirely in capcut. it had stick figures, comic sans captions like “crazy but hot,” and explosion sound effects. it went viral. you’ve never recovered.

nagi seishiro

nagi watches your stream like it’s bedtime ASMR. you’ll be yelling and raging and he’s just lying there on your floor with a blanket over his head, unbothered. “mm, background noise. nice.”

he likes when you hype yourself up. you’ll go “i’m literally cracked” and he’ll mumble, “you are. carry me next game, yeah?”

if you’re still streaming when he’s trying to sleep, he’ll get up slowly, peek into your room like a zombie, and just stand in the doorway. not blinking. silent. “is… is that my boyfriend or the grudge?” you get scared every single time. he finds it funny in a deadpan way. “you’re so jumpy. wow. embarrassing.”

one night you were crying-laughing at a “[name]-core” tik tok where someone said “her voice sounds like unmedicated lightning,” and nagi, without even opening his eyes, went, “that’s kinda accurate.”

you slapped him with a pillow mid-stream.

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wonderjanga · 9 months ago

Text

Billy’s Homelessness

Being a homeless kid has its perks, Billy supposes. He’s picked up tips and tricks from other kids and even adults during his time. It’s practically second nature to him at this point. Only thing is, the fact that it’s second nature in the first place is what can come back to bite him in the future.

Like lock picking. He’s good at it, and it’s not something he’s particularly proud of, but it’s helped him when he’s needed it most. He’s gotten shelter from blizzards, sleet, and rain with this skill. That’s why when Billy, Flash, GL, and Supes got locked in an all yellow room with red sun lamps and a locked door.

Supes, GL, and Flash: *all discussing how to get out* Marvel: *leans down in front of the keyhole of the door*

Supes: “Alright Flash, vibrate through the door-”

Marvel: “Done!” *opens door*

*silence*

GL: “How’d you do that?”

Marvel: “I picked the lock.” *walks out and immediately gets shot in the face by one of the guards*

Then there’s pickpocketing. He’s also unfortunately good at this. Freddy says he’s better though. Billy isn’t about to make a contest out of it. Batman found out about this particular talent when both him and Billy went undercover for a mission to uncover the scheme of some foreign politician.

Batman: *as Bruce Wayne* “That’s the man.” *subtly gestures to him*

Marvel: “Him? Okay… What do you wanna do?”

Batman: “First, we need to properly identify-”

Marvel: “Oh, okay.” *walks over to the man, passes him, then comes back to Bruce* “Here.” *places the man’s wallet in Bruce’s hand*

Batman: “…that he was involved in the crimes.”

Marvel: “Oh.”

*silence*

Batman: *opens the wallet anyways and starts looking through it*

Marvel: “Do you want me to put it back?”

Batman: *puts one finger up to Marvel’s face while he continues looking through the wallet*

Marvel: *deflates slightly* “Oh, okay.”

Batman: *pulls out a clue from the wallet* “Put this back, chum.”

Marvel: *scurries off to put the wallet back*

Bruce then heavily lamented how Marvel knew how to pickpocket so well. Cause the thing is, Marvel’s like six feet tall. (Had to make him a little shorter guys. My bad.) A man like that had no business doing that so well in a bright red sweater and yellow hat.

Then, there’s the avoiding cops. He rarely sticks around for them. He does not mess with them. He’s had too many bad experiences as Billy for it to translate well to Marvel. Whenever one tries to talk to him, he’ll say the bare minimum as politely as he can and fly off. Sometimes, if he knows it’s a cop who’s harsher on the homeless than most, he’ll act polite(passive aggressive) and then give them a nice, firm(crushing) handshake. One such incident was when a cop asked for a photo:

Cop A and Marvel: *posing for a photo by shaking hands*

Marvel: *smiling at the camera, his grip tightening on the hand*

Cop A: *awkward laugh* “That’s a tight grip you got there, Captain.”

Marvel: *lightens his grip, looking down to Cop A’s name tag: Richard* (This isn’t Nightwing guys) “My bad, dick.”

Cop A: “Excuse me?”

Marvel: “Oh no no no, not like “dick,” Dick.” *grip tightens again* “Not like some spineless, lowlife piece of shit from the bottom of my boot that gets scraped off onto a bigger pile of shit, kind of dick.” *smiles the whole time as he speaks* “No, like your name, officer, Dick.”

Cop A: “I prefer Richard.”

Cop B: *takes photo*

Also, anybody who gets that reference gets a kiss. Man or woman. It doesn’t matter. I don’t make the rules. By the way, someone definitely recorded that entire interaction and #passiveaggressivecap ended up trending on twitter.

Then, there’s the time Supes came over to Fawcett to hang out. They were chilling on a rooftop talking when down below they both saw a teenager steal food from a seller.

Supes: *doesn’t see Marvel move* “Aren’t you gonna stop that kid?”

Marvel: “Uh… no. He’s homeless. He clearly needs it more than we do.”

Supes: *blinks rapidly but then remembers he’s not in Metropolis and can’t really tell Marvel how to run his city* “Okay then.”

#billy batson #captain marvel dc #dc captain marvel #shazam #fawcett #fawcett city #fawcett comics #superman #clark kent #the flash #wally west #green lantern #john stewart #batman #bruce wayne

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merrybloomwrites · 4 months ago

Text

A Livestream Love Story

Summary: Your story with Spencer, as told in a series of livestreams.

Word Count: 3.1K

AN: I got 2 requests (request 1, request 2) that had to do with livestreams, and decided to do a story much like my "Podcast Love Story" oneshot. Hope you enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rocking Out In Guitar Hero

“Are we live?” Spencer says as the livestream officially starts broadcasting.

“It’s live,” Brennen answers from behind the camera.

“Wait, actually right now?” Spencer asks.

“Yes, right now,” Brennen confirms.

“Wow, that was too chill,” Spencer says before launching into an explanation about today's livestream. He and Courtney will be playing Guitar Hero, and they’ve managed to upload some of their favorite songs to play.

For the next half hour, they show off their skills for all the people watching.

You’ve been busy filming another show and happen to end early, meaning you can pop in and watch them stream for a little while. You try not to be spotted, not wanting to interrupt of course, but also not wanting anyone to see the way you swoon over Spencer.

The crush you’ve been harboring on him since you started working at Smosh has only continued to grow. Keeping it hidden has been getting more difficult, and peaking in to watch him now is probably a bad idea.

Because for some reason, him absolutely effortlessly shredding on Guitar Hero is way more attractive than it has any right to be. You try not to stare too much, but the way his fingers move so dexterously on the keys has you feeling some sort of way.

Of course you can’t hide for long, and soon enough Courtney is calling you over to join them.

“Y/N, were you a guitar hero girlie?” Spencer asks.

“Well I played a lot as a kid but it’s been awhile. Might be rusty,” you answer.

“Give it a go,” Spencer says. He stands, shifting and brushing up against you in the small space. Trying not to blush at the contact you sit in his now empty chair and Courtney passes you the guitar.

You scroll through the songs, reading comments from the chat as you try to find one you want to play.

Seeing a comment about how well Spencer is playing, you say, “I feel like people don’t know how good of a guitar player you really are.”

“You actually do play guitar,” He says, leading you to reply, “Yea but you actually play guitar too!”

Courtney smiles watching the two of you compliment each other, then gets surprised when you hand her the controller asking her to pick a song for you.

After finally settling on “That’s What You Get” by Paramore you put it on medium, not wanting to embarrass yourself by failing on hard mode.

You begin to play, chatting with the others as you do and you’re pleasantly surprised by how well you do. You’re especially happy when Spencer compliments you at the end.

Though you try it head out once you’re done, but Courtney encourages you to stay for one more song. You watch as Spencer plays “Five Nights at Freddy’s”. Since it’s one of the songs they uploaded, it only has one difficulty: extreme.

That’s no problem for Spencer, as he begins to shred on this toy guitar, barely missing any notes. You dance around, covering up how badly you want to just stare at his hands as he plays.

Once it’s done you compliment him another time before thanking them for having you on and leaving the stream. You have a meeting starting soon, but you detour to the bathroom for a minute. You take some deep breaths, splash a little water on your face, and tell yourself to get your feelings under control.

We Stream Resident Evil 8 For The First Time

You’re not entirely sure how you got roped into this. Well, you kind of knew, but it all happened so fast!

You weren’t supposed to be on this livestream. It was meant to be Spencer playing with Amanda and Angela watching, just like in the recorded series.

But Angela came down with a stomach bug, and here you are, filling in for her. You’re not a big fan of these games, the jump scares and freaky characters really creeping you out. Which of course is the reason you got picked. Because they knew you’d have big reactions which makes for good entertainment.

So while you don’t love these games, you confirm you’re on board when Spencer checks in with you right before streaming.

The three of you get set up, you next to Spencer with Amanda behind the two of you. Before you know it, the stream begins, and Spencer starts explaining everything to the audience.

It’s only a minute later that he starts the game, and the first jump scare occurs. You and Amanda both yell at him to get away from the monster, and he tells you guys that it’s a cutscene and he has no control yet.

“Oh, Y/N, you should close your eyes,” Spencer says. “You won’t like this part.”

Choosing to trust him, you shut your eyes until he says it’s safe to open. You’d heard Amanda shout out but couldn’t tell exactly what had happened.

“Spencer just killed a pig!” She says when you turn to her, confused.

“I had to! I needed to get food,” he says to defend himself.

You’re glad that he’d warned you, since seeing that play out definitely would have upset you.

As the stream continues, you start to get more into it, asking questions and even giving out some helpful ideas.

There are a couple parts that make you anxious, and as though he can sense this, Spencer leans his leg against yours. It’s hidden beneath the desk, ensuring no one will see, and that simple connection helps you stay relaxed.

At one point Spencer pauses, saying that he has a headache and is suddenly not feeling well. He asks for water and you don’t hesitate to grab yours to share with him, truly worried by him suddenly acting like this. But a moment later Alex hands him a bottle of water, and Spencer sprays some of it on his hand.

You and Amanda both shout out, realizing that this was just a bit, since the character is always healing himself by spraying water on his hand.

“We were worried about you!” Amanda yells at him.

He just laughs, and you roll your eyes fondly, admitting that he did a good job at fooling the two of you. It’s nearing the end of the stream, so he unpauses and plays a little longer.

Just before you hit the three hour mark, there’s one final jumpscare. It startles you so badly that you nearly tip your chair over and fall. Amanda quickly steadies the chair while Spencer reaches out to grab your arm.

It’s clear you’re flustered when you sit back up, and you hope people will assume it’s because you nearly fell, and not because of how it felt to have Spencer’s hand on you.

After the stream is over, Spencer thanks you for filling in at the last minute. And just like that, the three hours of anxiety and elevated heart rates is worth it.

Seriously Super Stupid Sleepover: Charity Livestream

“Welcome to the Seriously Super Stupid Sleepover!” Ian shouts as the livestream officially starts.

“For the first time ever, we are doing a 24 hour charity stream,” Anthony says. “This is for a cause near and dear to us, and we want to start by saying we appreciate every dollar you all donate over the next day.”

“We have lots of activities planned, and various guests will be joining us, so get ready!” Ian adds.

You’re sitting in the conference room with some of your coworkers, watching the start of the stream. Since it’s going from noon on Friday until noon on Saturday, you’ve all been given a schedule of the times you’re set to appear on screen.

It’s been a big undertaking planning for this, but you know it will be worth it. Not only is it for a good cause, but there’s the added bonus of everyone getting the following Monday and Tuesday off.

You’re not actually appearing on screen until that evening, but once you’re on, you’re there for a while. You know you should try and squeeze a nap in at some point in the afternoon, but you know that you’re likely going to be too excited to manage that.

You watch as the squad kicks off the stream with a classic TNTL, followed by George Primavera leading some of the Games crew in a new tabletop RPG. This together fills the first couple of hours, and you decide to head back to your desk to continue doing some work there.

“Hey, Y/N, dinner’s ready in the conference room,” Kiana says, bringing you back to reality. You’d gotten lost in your writing, and it was a surprise how much time had passed. You grab something to eat, and by the time you’re done, it’s past 7pm. No time to take a nap now, since you’re due to stream in less than an hour. So of course, you make yourself a latte using the new fancy machine in the kitchen, and drink it as you get yourself ready to appear live.

The first show you’re appearing on is Beopardy. It’s one of your favorites, since you love trivia, and it gets your energy up for the night. You get a quick break while some pre-recorded content plays, and then you’re back on for Angela’s funeral roast. Due to the number of people involved, this one takes quite a while, and by the time that session is done, it’s already 10PM, and you’ve been on screen for nearly 3 straight hours.

You get a short break while Anthony does an interview with Mac. During that time, the rest of you change into pajamas for the overnight portion of the stream.

Now dressed in your starry pajama pants and oversized Smosh crewneck sweatshirt, you wander into the kitchen looking for a quick snack.

Spencer notices when you walk in, and he gives you a smile as well as a package of your favorite cookies. You thank him with a shy smile of your own, and the two of you chat for a few minutes.

You haven’t seen him for a while. He’d been on the stream early and had a break, during which he managed to squeeze in a nap. But now he’s back, joining you, Olivia, Courtney, and Noah for some classic sleepover games.

You start with the awkward dance party, and then do the Urban Dictionary Challenge, where one of you reads out a term from urban dictionary and the rest have to guess the definition.

As it nears midnight, you all settle on the couches for a couple of Jackbox games. Due to the late hour, it’s no surprise that the answers you all give grow sillier and sillier.

In the very early hours of the morning, you find yourself on the couch, Spencer on one side, Amanda on the other. There are a few other people on chairs throughout the room, and you’re all set to play Geoguesser.

Half of your group is very clearly hopped up on caffeine, especially Angela, while the other half is starting to fade with sleepiness. You fall into the second category. It’s especially hard to stay awake since this game doesn’t need too much input from you.

Amanda notices your eyelids getting heavy and drops a blanket in your lap. You bring your legs up on the couch, curling them under you and wrap yourself in the blanket. Within seconds you’re cozy enough to fall asleep, but you fight off the drowsiness. Luckily, you recognize the next location to pop up, and it re-energizes you for a second as you lead the others to find the right place on the map.

But that energy doesn’t last long, and soon your eyes start to droop shut again. Not realizing what you’re doing, you shift to get comfortable, your head resting on Spencer’s shoulder. The rest of the group notices that you’re asleep, and while they make a couple jokes about it, no one tries to bother you and wake you up.

You stay like that for the next twenty minutes as they finish playing the game. Occasionally you’ll move and snuggle closer to Spencer, and he does his best to hide the pleased smiles that your actions cause. It’s clear to anyone paying attention how soft he truly is for you.

When the segment ends another pre-recorded commercial airs, giving you all some time to exit the set.

Spencer gently nudges you until he sees your eyes blink open. You’re confused, then embarrassed, but overall, what you feel most is tired.

“C’mon, let’s get you to the lounge, they’ve got beds set up,” he says. Spencer then wraps his arms around you, helping you stand and guiding you to one of the free air mattresses. You’re both quiet, not wanting to wake anyone who’s already asleep.

You lay down and Spencer tucks the blanket around you, saying a soft goodnight before finding a mattress of his own.

A few hours later you wake up, still groggy but at least somewhat rested. Looking around you see a few people still sleeping, so you tiptoe out of the room.

You get dressed and freshen up, knowing you’ll be appearing in the stream one more time. All cast is expected to participate for the last hour, making sure to close out the stream with a bang.

There are a few people hanging in the conference room so you grab some breakfast and join them. You stay there for a bit, and a minute before you’re going to head back to the set, Spencer walks in.

Suddenly, memories of the night before enter your brain, and you realize what had happened. What you’d done.

You’d fallen asleep, on the live, with your head on Spencer’s shoulder.

And you’re now mortified. Spencer gives you a soft smile, but you don’t have a chance to talk to him since you need to get back to the stream.

One last commercial break airs, allowing you all to get set up. When you’re live again, everyone starts to banter, talking about the last day. You’re happy to hear that you weren’t the only one to fall asleep in front of everyone, though it seems you were the only one who used a coworker as a pillow.

Finally, it’s time for Anthony and Ian to wrap everything up. They thank the audience for all the kind donations, and suddenly, the stream is over.

A couple crew members who weren’t working overnight are set to drive everyone home, so that no one drives while sleep deprived. Which means you don’t get a chance to talk to Spencer before leaving, as you don’t want to hold up the other people in your car.

Then comes the long weekend. Which is lovely and a nice, well appreciated break. But you can’t stop thinking about what happened Thursday night. You’ve already seen the moment clipped and giffed online, people clearly starting to ship the two of you.

Even after days of thinking of what to say, you still avoid Spencer when you do get back to work. You’re embarrassed by your actions, and afraid of what he might think of you. But at the end of the day, Spencer asks you to talk, and you take a deep breath, knowing you can’t avoid this any longer.

The two of you sit in an empty office, and it’s quiet for a moment. You bite the bullet and break the silence, saying, “Sorry for passing out on you the other night.”

Spencer shifts in his seat, and you hate that you’ve clearly made him uncomfortable. But then his answer is something you never would have expected.

“Truthfully, I didn’t mind. I uhm, it was nice. I liked that you were close to me,” he says. You notice the way he looks down as he says it, the slight pink on his cheeks that wasn’t there before.

“Really?” you ask and he nods, his confirmation giving you the confidence to admit, “I liked it too.”

“You did?”

“I did. I mean, I know I was asleep but I’ve seen some of the gifs and it just makes me happy.”

Spencer takes a deep breath and says, “Y/N, do you want to go on a date? With me?”

You’re surprised by the question, but quickly steady yourself enough to answer, “I would like that.”

And just like that, a moment you thought would forever embarrass you has instead led to the happiest outcome.

Teaching Y/N Fortnight

It’s been a few months since the charity livestream and the subsequent start of your and Spencer’s relationship. You haven’t exactly gone public with it, but you haven’t kept it a total secret either. Fans have started to speculate, and you guys are okay with that.

You’re just not ready to make it publicly official yet.

It’s a Thursday afternoon, and you’re once again getting ready to do a livestream, this time one where Spencer will be teaching you to play Fortnight.

He gives you a quick kiss before you both settle in for the stream, and it causes you to smile, as his shows of affection always do.

Making sure to be professional, you turn to the camera as Alex gives you the warning that the livestream is about to begin. Spencer does the intro, then gets into teaching you all of the controls and objectives of the game.

A few minutes in, there’s a slight issue that leads to Spencer having to leave the room to fix something, while Alex sits at the computer to solve the problem on that end.

While this is happening you’re trying to keep the viewers entertained, making jokes and telling some stories that you hope they’ll find interesting.

“You know, I have to admit something,” you say.

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Alex questions.

“I’ve played Fortnight before. Not enough to be good! But like, I kind of already know all the basic stuff.”

“So why let Spencer explain it all?” Alex asks.

“He just gets so excited to teach! It’s cute,” you explain.

And yea, you know the fans will be freaking out with that moment. And this being a livestream, you get to see those comments in real time.

Once the tech problem is solved, Spencer comes back and sees the way chat is freaking out, and asks what happened. Without hesitation, the viewers immediately tell him your admission, leading to him pretending like his pride has been ruined.

But when he sees why you kept the secret from him, he can’t help but melt a little inside.

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AN: Thank you for reading, and thank you to those who sent in the requests that made this happen!

#spencer agnew x reader #smosh x reader #smosh fanfiction

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