#Fortified Salt
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Fortified Salt Market: Forthcoming Trends and Share Analysis by 2030
Global Fortified Salt Market was valued at USD 5.29 billion in 2021 and is expected to reach USD 9.30 billion by the year 2028, at a CAGR of 8.4%.
Salt is an ideal porter for micronutrient fortification and micronutrients such as iodine and iron can be found through salt, which ingurgitated by an individual provides various nutritional benefits, this micronutrient added salt is called as fortified salt. Fortification of salt is appreciated as one of the most cost-effective methods to tackle deficiency of iron and iodine as it is universally consumed by all income groups and age segments. Double fortified salt (DFS) is a form of table salt produced with mixed iron and iodine. When consumed in regular food, it may help to reduce iron deficiency and iodine deficiency disorders which helps to growth of fortified salt market.
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Updated Version 2024 is available our Sample Report May Includes the:
Scope For 2024
Brief Introduction to the research report.
Table of Contents (Scope covered as a part of the study)
Top players in the market
Research framework (structure of the report)
Research methodology adopted by Worldwide Market Reports
Leading players involved in the Fortified Salt Market include:
Cargill Incorporated, Tata Chemicals, China National Salt Industry, United Salt Corporation, Kutch Brine Chem Industries, Sambhar, AkzoNobel, Schweizer Salinen, Ankur Salt, Windsor Salt, Annapurna Salt, Bajaj Salt
Moreover, the report includes significant chapters such as Patent Analysis, Regulatory Framework, Technology Roadmap, BCG Matrix, Heat Map Analysis, Price Trend Analysis, and Investment Analysis which help to understand the market direction and movement in the current and upcoming years.
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Segmentation of Fortified Salt Market:
By Type
Iodine
Iron
Double Fortified Salt
By Application
Food Processing
Household
Animal Feed
Hospitality & Services
Others
By Distribution Channel
Hypermarket/Supermarket
Grocery Stores
Online
Others
By Regions: -
North America (US, Canada, Mexico)
Eastern Europe (Bulgaria, The Czech Republic, Hungary, Poland, Romania, Rest of Eastern Europe)
Western Europe (Germany, UK, France, Netherlands, Italy, Russia, Spain, Rest of Western Europe)
Asia Pacific (China, India, Japan, South Korea, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, The Philippines, Australia, New Zealand, Rest of APAC)
Middle East & Africa (Turkey, Bahrain, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, UAE, Israel, South Africa)
South America (Brazil, Argentina, Rest of SA)
Highlights from the report:
Market Study: It includes key market segments, key manufacturers covered, product range offered in the years considered, Global Fortified Salt Market, and research objectives. It also covers segmentation study provided in the report based on product type and application.
Market Executive Summary: This section highlights key studies, market growth rates, competitive landscape, market drivers, trends, and issues in addition to macro indicators.
Market Production by Region: The report provides data related to imports and exports, revenue, production and key players of all the studied regional markets are covered in this section.
Fortified Salt Market Profiles of Top Key Competitors: Analysis of each profiled Roll Hardness Tester market player is detailed in this section. This segment also provides SWOT analysis of individual players, products, production, value, capacity, and other important factors.
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#Fortified Salt#Fortified Salt Market#Fortified Salt Market Size#Fortified Salt Market Share#Fortified Salt Market Growth#Fortified Salt Market Trend#Fortified Salt Market segment#Fortified Salt Market Opportunity#Fortified Salt Market Analysis 2023
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Покупки с Тему и Тиджей макс!
Масло и бальзамы для губ понравились, очень нежные и мягкие, отлично увлажняют и упаковки мне понравились 💗
Набор мини кремов для рук спорный. Питают они не плохо, но запахи странные, резкие, не очень приятные. Типа крем для рук с календулой это что вообще?
Далее у меня тут пудра и ��оль для ванны, всё очень понравилось (соль была с сушенной апельсиновой цедрой).
Масло для роста волос с натуральным составом и запахом мяты, оно работает, хотя когда втираешь его в кожу головы то оно неприятно холодит.
Охлаждающий ролик для глаз офигенская штука, уже второй раз беру. Очень хорошо расслабляет глаза и снимает следы усталости.
Сыворотка для лица средняя, скраб тоже не понравился. Маски все израсходовала, почти все не плохие.
#cosmetics#girly things#girly stuff#lip balm#lip oil#hand cream#cath kidston#face mask#bath milkshake#hair oil#eye cream#face serum#bath salts#body scrub#onyx bathhouse#farm stay#the creme shop#annies way#fortify#korean cosmetics#cruelty free#not tested on animals
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Reminding my babaylan girlies here to change your salt bowl or salt cup in your room.
It already absorbed all your bad energies from thoughts and social media and is now saturated. If you're feeling like shit this october, maybe do that.
#don't know if this is a legit practice#but my sister once reminded me to always put salt on my window sills#but my lola would have rice and salt jars on her altars#and I recently learned that salt absorbs bad energies#which makes sense now#I just did it to fortify my intentions ya know what witchcraft and animism is y'all#the fundamental is intentions#you will if you believe kinda thing#it's still making me think that I care enough about myself still#and that I want negative energies to be out of me#so go change your salt bowls#now
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I fucking love cuppa soupssss
#cuppa soup my beloved#its rly bad with the ammount of salt in em i think but i dont have em lots#just rly genuinely enjoy em lol used to get given em as a kid n we had a lot of cheap food in so i kinda crave em sometimes#like i love that weird dry add water mash aswell but idk i dont like mash as much anymore#along with all those i also crave rusks n have them from time to time insead of a meal lol#tho i usually only do tht when i need vit fortified foods like when im low immunity feeling n lloking wise#rn i need to function just enough to remember to start taking vitamins should probs get some more in i ran out like 2 mo ago 😅
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do you ever think about how vulnerable specialized labor under capitalism has left us?
do you know where to get folate, calcium, iron, iodine etc without buying pills or mass-produced fortified foods? do you know how to process out anti-nutrients in edible substances (like corn, cassava, etc)? do you know how to save and store seeds from various types of edible plants? do you know how to preserve meat without a freezer or salt? how to remove bittern from sea salt? how to find water in a drought and how to purify it? how to treat dehydration?
what happens when it's your money or your life? when militaries target supply chains during war?
#i say specialized labor bc it keeps us so busy at one task we must outsource labor for our basic needs#+ information is privatized so knowledge keepers have a secure source of income#tit talks
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someone requested [ Manhattan + salt rim + neat ] and I accidentally deleted it but i remembered!!
warnings: leashes (yup like for dogs 🤭) minors dni, thank you thank you thank you thank you for this request 🥵
—
Azriel knew it was going to be an issue—you spending so much time with Nesta Archeron.
He’d found it cute at first. His sweet girl making friends with someone as prickly as death incarnate, until he’d started noticing the changes. How kind words shift into a biting wit; adopting a darker kind of humor that leaves his brows raised and tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth. “Come bunny, it’s time to get out of bed.”
Perhaps it’s in that learned behavior where you find the gall to part your lips and mutter, “No, I’m not going.”
It’s surprising—your defiance. Enough for him to pause in the middle of his morning routine, thigh holsters half buckled with an array of sharpened daggers and switchblades laid out before him. “Say that again?”
“To training,” You elaborate, mindlessly toying with the fraying edges of your nail varnish. Soft sheets swallow you whole, thick pillows and duvets emitting Azriel’s comforting scent all around you. “I’m not going today.”
For only a second he falters before his movements start up again, deft fingers easily buckling strips of leather and filling the slots with weapons. “Are you not feeling well?”
“I’m feeling like I don’t want to sweat under the burning sun all fucking day.” Your eyes are too busy rolling at the thought to notice the tick of Azriel’s jaw, the strained way he tightens his belt. “Nes and I are going shopping after brunch instead.”
“Oh?” There’s a pause, a tense silence that forces you to lean up on your elbows, neck craning to peer over at the Illyrian. Though, Azriel’s not getting ready anymore and he’s lounging too comfortably for someone who’d been adamant on following the guidelines of his rigorous schedule. The clock tick, tick, ticks away and for some reason he’s not reaching for his top or the crossbody holsters he slides on after. His hair is still dripping wet from his shower, not even bothering to work his styling pomade through. “Says who?”
He just sits there—watching, waiting. Staring at you like one of the prisoners he chains up in his dungeons; prodding at the barriers of their restraint until the spymaster tore it to shreds. You hate how well it works, chipping away at the fortified walls you’d built in your new friendships. How easily Azriel’s able to walk up to those borders and send them crumbling down with nothing more than a look.
It should be embarrassing, the affect he has on you. The way one arched brow has your spine instinctively straightening, throat rolling with a swallow as you struggle to muster up the same confidence that burned through you just moments ago. “I wasn’t aware I needed permission.”
Azriel hums low in his chest, shoulders relaxing and head nodding once, twice, three times before that stoic expression melts into understanding. “I see, that’s probably my fault. Got a touch lenient—allowed room for a little too much…hope.”
“Hope?”
Alarm bells begin ringing the further he settles in the chair, thick thighs spreading wide and veiny forearms eat up the space along the armrest. “Hope,” he agrees. “Give a good pet a little too much freedom—too much hope and all the necessary structure begins to waver.” You’re caught like a fly in a trap, limbs sticking to the carefully spun webs Az’s woven until your struggle only leaves the metaphorical ropes twisting and knotting tighter. “Don’t worry, I’m a good trainer. Won’t let you slack for a second—even if you do bat those pretty lashes up at me.”
Your mouth goes dry when his wrist flicks, two fingers beckoning you closer in silent command. A part of you hesitates; resists the rigorous discipline and rules put in place to keep you safe. Protected. But Nesta said that you were perfectly capable of protecting yourself without some overgrown bat looming over your shoulder. Right?
You obey anyway, praying that Azriel doesn’t hold the contemplation against you.
The Mother doesn’t seem to hear your plea, too occupied with more deserving persons to spare a second glance at the predicament you’d weaseled your way into. Each step closer feels like knowing wrong and choosing the sin anyway, solidifying your fate and dealing your destiny with the devil for all time. “Sit.”
A huffy breath of irritation before you ease down to your knees, leaning your weight back against your calves. “I’m not some fucking dog.”
“No, you aren’t,” His hand smells of body wash when a thumb runs over the curve of your cheek, blunt nail tracing against the shape of your mouth. It’s almost sweet, toeing the line of possibly romantic when you hear it—the squeaky strain of fresh leather. The cool bite of the latch registers too late, a metallic click locking it in place. “But lately you’ve been acting like one. My rabid mutt.”
Manicured nails grip at the newest accessory but it doesn’t budge no matter how much you tug at it. Your cheeks flame, a mix of fury and pure embarrassment from the rush of arousal that soils your panties when each breath grows just a bit labored. “You fucking collared me?”
“Watch your mouth or I’ll buy a muzzle to match.” He catches on to the way your thighs clench together, lips snapping shut as your brain fights to decide whether you want to scream back a “fuck you” or “fuck me”.
You land somewhere in the middle, words stern but tone leaking with curiosity. “You wouldn’t dare.”
A hellish grin splits across the handsome lines of his face, like a wolf straining in the seams of sheep’s clothing. “Try me.” He’s lost the concept to time when such fun prey has found itself stuck in his crosshairs. Such a sweet lamb should know better than to wander away from its shepherd—heaven forbid something should happen to you. “Test me, I dare you. I’ll walk you through town like some purebred if you keep acting like you weren’t taught to act with decorum.”
He means it too. You know he does. Even after all these years, you still had yet to hear words Azriel’s didn’t back up with action. Instantly, your eyes lower, head bowing in order to conceal the pinpricked pupils that dialate with desire. It burns in your belly, a cacophony of fantasies lashing against your eyelids at warp speed.
You in your shiny collar, name engraved on the customized nameplate with Azriel’s information on the back right under “If Found, Return To”
It’s purely involuntary, the desperate whimper that cuts through the bedchambers and Azriel pats at your head like some pampered pup in need of comfort. Offering love and fond coos when you easily correct the behaviors he doesn’t enjoy.
Obedient. Disciplined. Loyal. His.
“There’s a good girl. Keep that up and I’ll give you a treat.”
#acotar x reader#a court of thorns and roses#acotar#acotar x you#azriel#acotar azriel#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel acotar#azriel fic#azriel spymaster#azriel fanfic#azriel shadowsinger#azriel smut#az smut#az x reader#az x reader smut#blurb bar#sol’s requests#i had too much fun with this#a collar in theory sounds kinda cute to me tbh…until i start overthinking it#but what happens in velaris stays in velaris#city of dreams as they say 🤪#brat tamer az gonna do it for me everytime
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Foods You Can Eat Instead of Taking Vitamins and Supplements 🍎🥥🥦🥑🍌
Vitamin A: Carrots, sweet potatoes, spinach, kale.
B Vitamins: Whole grains, meat, eggs, nuts, legumes.
Vitamin B1 (Thiamine): Whole grains, legumes, nuts, pork, fortified cereals.
Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin): Dairy products, lean meats, almonds, leafy greens. Vitamin B3 (Niacin): Poultry, fish, nuts, legumes, whole grains.
Vitamin B5 (Pantothenic Acid): Meat, poultry, eggs, avocado, whole grains.
B6: Chicken, turkey, fish, bananas, chickpeas.
Folate (Vitamin B9): Leafy greens, legumes, citrus fruits, fortified grains.
Vitamin B12: Animal products (meat, fish, dairy), fortified plant-based foods.
Vitamin C: Citrus fruits, strawberries, bell peppers.
Vitamin D: Fatty fish (salmon, mackerel), fortified dairy products, sunlight.
Vitamin E: Sunflower seeds, almonds, vegetable oils, nuts, spinach, broccoli.
Vitamin F (Essential Fatty Acids): Fatty fish, flaxseeds, chia seeds, walnuts.
Vitamin H (Biotin): Eggs, nuts, sweet potatoes, salmon, avocado.
Vitamin K: Leafy greens (kale, spinach), broccoli, Brussels sprouts.
Vitamin K2: Fermented foods (natto, cheese), animal products, leafy greens.
Vitamin L1 (Anthranilic Acid): Cruciferous vegetables (cabbage, cauliflower), legumes.
Vitamin P (Bioflavonoids): Citrus fruits, berries, onions, green tea.
Vitamin Q (Ubiquinone): Fatty fish, organ meats, spinach, cauliflower.
Vitamin T (L-carnitine): Red meat, poultry, fish, dairy products.
Vitamin U (S-Methylmethionine): Cabbage, broccoli, Brussels sprouts.
Betaine: Beets, spinach, whole grains, seafood.
Boron: Fruits (apples, pears), legumes, nuts, avocado.
Calcium: Dairy products, leafy greens (kale, collard greens), almonds.
Carnosine: Beef, poultry, fish.
Carnitine: Red meat, dairy products, fish.
Catechins: Green tea, black tea, dark chocolate.
Choline: Eggs, liver, beef, broccoli, soybeans.
Creatine: Red meat, fish, poultry.
Chromium: Broccoli, whole grains, nuts, brewer's yeast.
Chondroitin: Cartilage-rich foods (bone broth, connective tissue of meat).
Copper: Shellfish, nuts, seeds, organ meats, lentils.
Coenzyme Q10 (CoQ10): Fatty fish, organ meats, nuts, soybean oil.
Ellagic Acid: Berries (strawberries, raspberries), pomegranates.
Glucosinolates: Cruciferous vegetables (cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower).
Glucosamine: Shellfish (shrimp, crab), bone broth, animal connective tissues.
Glutamine: Dairy products, meat, poultry, cabbage.
Inositol: Citrus fruits, beans, nuts, whole grains.
Iodine: Seafood, iodized salt, dairy products.
Iron: Red meat, poultry, beans, lentils, spinach.
L-Theanine: Mushrooms, black tea, white tea, guayusa.
Lignans: Flaxseeds, whole grains, cruciferous vegetables.
Lutein and Zeaxanthin: Leafy greens (spinach, kale), corn, eggs.
Lycopene: Tomatoes, watermelon, pink grapefruit.
Magnesium: Spinach, nuts, seeds, whole grains, beans.
Manganese: Nuts, seeds, whole grains, leafy greens, tea.
Melatonin: Cherries, grapes, tomatoes.
Omega-3 fatty acids: Flaxseeds, chia seeds, walnuts, fatty fish.
PABA (Para-Aminobenzoic Acid): Whole grains, eggs, organ meats.
Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5): Meat, poultry, fish, whole grains, avocado
Pectin: Apples, citrus fruits, berries, pears.
Phosphorus: Dairy products, meat, poultry, fish, nuts.
Prebiotics: Garlic, onions, leeks, asparagus, bananas (unripe), oats, apples, barley, flaxseeds, seaweed.
Probiotics: Yogurt, kefir, fermented foods (sauerkraut, kimchi).
Potassium: Bananas, oranges, potatoes, spinach, yogurt.
Polyphenols: Berries, dark chocolate, red wine, tea.
Quercetin: Apples, onions, berries, citrus fruits.
Resveratrol: Red grapes, red wine, berries, peanuts.
Rutin: Buckwheat, citrus fruits, figs, apples.
Selenium: Brazil nuts, seafood, poultry, eggs.
Silica: Whole grains, oats, brown rice, leafy greens.
Sulforaphane: Cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, Brussels sprouts), cabbage.
Taurine: Meat, seafood, dairy products.
Theanine: Green tea, black tea, certain mushrooms.
Tyrosine: Meat, fish, dairy products, nuts, seeds.
Vanadium: Mushrooms, shellfish, dill, parsley, black pepper.
Zeatin: Whole grains, legumes, nuts, seeds.
Zinc: Oysters, beef, poultry, beans, nuts, whole grains.
#women health#health and wellness#healthy diet#healthy living#healthy lifestyle#womens health#health#health tips#wellness#levelupjourney#dream girl guide#dream girl tips#dream girl journey#health is wealth#clean girl aesthetic#clean girl#it girl#nutrition#supplements#organic#food#nutrients#healthyhabits#healthy life tips#self love journey#self love#dream life#dream girl
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Prince Malleus Draconia vs Human Pettiness
So we’ve all heard about the trope of angry humans doing petty stuff to avoid their supernatural s/o’s. Like dating a werewolf and wearing silver, or dating a vampire and eating Italian (or entering a house that they haven’t been invited to) or dating a demon sitting in a salt circle or even dating a fairy and wearing iron.
So let’s say you’ve had an argument with your unfairly handsome fae boyfriend and later, being the stubborn-as-a-mule human you are, realise that even though you’ve somewhat calmed down, you’re still very cross with him so you decide to get back in your own way. You may have come into Twisted Wonderland with no magic but you did possess the stories and folklore of your non-magical world. You grew up with the tales of the men and women of yore that whispered horror stories of curses, kidnappings and enchantments, fairy rings and changeling children - and it’s time to put your childhood fascination of the once-fictional-but-now-part-of-your-reality to shine.
Of course, you started with the iron jewellery; any type of bijouterie in your possession that you could possibly wear, you did. Rings, necklaces, bangles, anklets, earrings, chains, studs on your clothing, the prong of your belt, even the clips in your hair - all made out of pure iron (most of them a gift from Leona for reasons you weren’t too sure you wanted to know). You even managed to replace the buttons of your school blazer for shiny new metallic ones.
Next, you fortified your stronghold to ensure that any pesky fairies wouldn’t be able to enter. You hung up an iron horseshoe onto the door of Ramshackle and sprinkled salt all around its perimeter. You found some of your old clothes that were no longer in use and turned them inside out before placing them both inside Ramshackle and outside. Next you hung up bells and deep-toned wind chimes on as many places on Ramshackle’s exterior you could find. Then, after marvelling at your handiwork, you went to your bedroom and relaxed.
*Insert a pouting Malleus sulking ten feet away from you, physically unable to come closer, mentally debating whether or not he should be impressed by your commitment*
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst headcanons#twisted wonderland headcanons#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#malleus draconia x reader
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Pollen and Potions: Bee-men x afab!reader
PART SEVEN
NSFW
You woke up alone.
The cot was warm under where you had laid but the spots beside you remained cool. You reached your mind out through your bonds, experimenting. You could tell that Rena was somewhere nearby, emotions calm and smug. Lyith seemed to be outside of the hive, worry fretting itself in iridescent specks in your minds eye. That was another thing you noticed. Your minds eye was a little more present, like you were looking in two worlds at once.
You pull yourself up and start looking for Rena, tipetoing down the tunnel hall. You don't stop until you make it to the huge open room, filled with about twenty or thirty bee-men of varying appearances, colors and sizes. You could taste magic in the room, now what you recognized to be the mana of the hive, pulsing through the air.
Everything smelled fresh and sweet, and something about the place, despite having no windows, felt refreshing and calming to you. You glance around looking for Rena, nodding and waving to Bee-men you have met before. They are all exuberant today, buzzing about you happily and greeting you with the customary hand squeeze or forehead bump. There is such a lightness about them, unlike you've seen in them before.
You come to the corner of the room where there is another tunnel, brightly light by cool glowing orbs. The familiar orbs had been all about the area, expanded light and cool air. You welcomed the feeling, as you couldn't imagine how hot and humid the hive would be without them. You felt a sudden pulse of magic from the tunnel, and an increase in the scent of sweet honey.
You come to a room where maybe six or seven Bee-men are working. Their are pots as large as people spanning the walls, several of which the Bee-men are working with. They all seem to be holding onto a string of magic rope tying them together as they sing out in a noise that is equal part bug and human. Surprisingly, it is a comforting, pleasant noise.
You watch, as the thread seems to pulse wide, like a snake who is swallowing and digesting a mouse, slowly moving from one Bee-men, to one pot to another. You watch as one Bee-man, unconnected to this rope of magic, brings a jar of pollen with him, keeping pace and messaging the bulge.
On his neck is a large block of obsidian, tied with twine. He is chanting, a dark green, almost black magic working from his hands. You recognize the cute little nose and brown hair. Haven.
“If you watch closely, you will notice that young Haven is using a type of magic we call Kvasir.” A hand is on your elbow and you turn to see Elder Bisou.
“The magic is neither personal, nor Shared Magic. He… i do not know the word in your terms. He calls on the Kvas of old, our first ancestors, and they lend him the ability to bake the pollen's life into something we can layer into our magic. Much like salt is to humans. It is a hard skill that takes many hours. He must not falter his breath or devotion, lest he have to start all over again.”
You blinked, surprised your favorite gossip had such a vital role. Though in some ways it made sense. Haven had such a way with words, he could spin an enthralling story over the most minute of details. He really was a good orator. And apparently a Bee like Priest? You wondered what Bee-men afterlife looked like.
Elder Bisou however, had more to say.
“After the nectar is fed through our magic and blessed by the Kvas, it is to be fermented for three days out in the sun, and then portioned and dried until it is the proper consistency. Of course, we dry the honey with our wings, and that too is considered a blessing from the wind.”
Elder Bisou was all but chanting, a preacher on his pulpit, relaying the word of his Gods.
“The nectar is of earth and water, the Kvasir, a blessing of spirit, the Sun and the wind to ferment, a transformation that fortifies our bodies, our mana, our souls. We are one with all in the gathering, in the making, in the consuming. We have not forgotten our roots, young witch.”
His eyes were like steel as he met your gaze. “Though I hear you are much more now. It is a miracle. I thank you for saving the lives of two of our children. And your efforts to save our hive in the ways you can.” He paused here, as if their was more he wanted to say, something that made his chest stick out, the graying fur their puffing.
“Lyith and Rena shall have much to explain to you I am sure. Even if they are terrible drones, leaving you alone in your most vulnerable time. More rest will do you well.”
He turned around, about to leave you, but you put a hand to his shoulder, excitement filling your chest as you remembered.
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about your gardens! You see, I have this theory about the magic in the soil! I think its because of the beast men leaving. Well more specifically their… um. Waste. You guys have a treaty with the wolfmen a few miles out from here, right? I was thinking that maybe we could. Idk ask for their… fertilizer and see how that effects the ecosystem?”
Elder Bisou gave you tired eyes. “While I appreciate your passion, this is already a thought we have entertained. The issue is that we have no way of funding this “transaction”. Waste is not an easy thing to transport, or a topic welcome in embassy meetings. We only receive groceries through you humans from charity. I do not see any… kindness around the wolfmen shoveling their ‘shit’ into our backyards. I am sorry to disappoint you.”
He said it kindly but it felt like a slap in the face. You hadn't meant to open your mind to his emotions but you could feel them now, a sort of… disdain? The sort of smugness an adult holds in their throat while explaining to a child why they can't have a puppy.
It occurred to you that this old Bee-man was a politician. And your well meaning intentions might have seemed like a slap in the face to his intelligence. Maybe. Something else seemed to be afoot here, as there was more complexity to this. You didn't need to taste his emotions in the air to know that.
You were feeling kind of dizzy. Elder Bisou had left but you had leaned against the far wall. You could feel the bee-mens emotions without them throwing them at you, but it drained you. When your gaze focused again you noticed that the Bee-men in the room were trying their hardest to continue to sing and magic their honey, but their eyes still rested on you. Even Haven, who was supposed to be in communion with the holy of his ancestors, had eyes on you as he rubbed and chanted.
Shame filled your heart. You had butted into a necessary and sacred process without any care. You wobbled up and out of the tunnel, hoping you had not done any harm.
Rena was on you in seconds.
“What are you doing in there! You should have stayed in the infirmary, I was looking all over for you.” Worry, with a blood like tang filled the connection of your bond. You couldn't quite understand the emotions there, but there was pain in it. Like she had been hurt.
“Are you okay?”
“No! My Queen decides to go gallivanting around the hive before I can even tell her she is very vulnerable right now. Look at you, already stressing your mana.” She uses her hands to dust your shoulders and clothes of dirt from the floor of the hall, the only place in the hive with it, as the floors everywhere else were covered in what could only be linoleum like beeswax.
“Where's Lyith?” You venture, feeling his own worry and a rush, as if he was flying fast, in your mind.
“Hes getting you human food! All we have is honey here, and from what I can't tell, its not conducive to a healthy human diet.” She pulls your whole body into her arms and buzzes you off back to what you now knew as the infirmary.
She had a small cup that steamed in one of her many hands. She set you down on the cot, leaning you so your back was braced by the wall, then covered you in several of the room's blankets before tucking the cup into your hand. You suddenly realized you were ravenous.
You carefully sipped on the liquid. It was sweet. Hot water and honey, and possibly a little fruit juice glided itself upon your tongue. You smiled over at Rena, your heart full as she fussed over you, picking at your hair and braiding what she could.
“So whats this about me being vulnerable?”
Rena continued braiding, her eyes not leaving your hair.
“I don’t want to say too much until Lyith gets here. But I’m sure you’ve noticed some changes by now. Your body is very weak because your mana is growing.”
“Is that why I can hear everyone's emotions so clearly?” You grimaced. You still had a bit of a headache. At least it only happens when you talk to someone.
“That's part of it. You're so tense, come here.” She pulled you into her lap and started messaging the tight spots in your neck, another hand gently rocking on the skin between your shoulders. You shivered, as a wave of tingles worked down your spine.
“We were hoping you’d let us keep you here for a few days so we can watch you. Until everything gets figured out.” Her voice was even but you could tell their was anxiety in the pit of her stomach. She was pushing it down though. You continued to let her wrestle your muscles into soft, relaxed flesh. She sighed in satisfaction.
“Y/n!!!” A happy voice interrupted your quiet peace. It was Haven, the small brown drone vibrating with excitement as he flew towards you. Rena acted immediately, pulling you further into her lap and crushing you to her with the wall of her arms.
“Its the middle of the day, you should be working.” Her tone was gruff.
“We are on break!” He replied, before giving her and indignant eyebrow quirk. He then pushed his full attention to you and sat on the cot.
“Congratulations on your recent mating! It was about time, with how much those two hung off you!” His words were hollow, as you were hit hard by Haven’s intense curiosity and hope. It almost choked you as you scrambled to adjust your mind's eye.
“We are busy Haven. And you are stressing her out. She’s still adjusting.”
“So it IS true, you can feel us!” Haven must have been concentrating his mind at you, because you were met with a tsunami of emotions. His pleasure was palpable, a variety of reds. His fondness was warm and smelled of vanilla, as well as something else you couldn’t quite understand, mixed with the hope. A hunger?
“Get out. Now.” Rena stood up, carrying you up with her before pushing Haven off the bed.
“Whats going on here?” Lyith’s tone was hard, it echoed through the infirmary.
“I just wanted to know if she had made a decision yet! Besides, we are friends, right?” He looked at you hopefully. You sighed.
“Haven, I’m not really sure what's going on, but maybe you could come back later? I think I’m out of the loop here.” You realized then that all the talking and emotions had started to make you shake.
Haven noticed too and looked somber. His voice then turned delicately light, and he organized his face.
“Maybe we can talk tomorrow. See you guys!” He gave you one last look and then walked out the door. Lyiths eyes followed him. He didn’t seem upset, like Rena did, but you could feel that Lyith seemed torn. Noticing your touch on his mind his eyes met yours, and a loving smile blazed across his golden features.
“You need to eat.” He brought you a plate. It was a tuna sandwich and an apple. Your stomach roared to life, and you grabbed the plate out of Lyith’s hands, tearing through the fish and bread. You ate the whole sandwich in 10 seconds and tore into the apple. Rena relaxed her grip around you and nuzzled her nose into your hair, muscles relaxing.
Lyith took Haven's place on the cot and opened his arms. Rena wouldn’t let you move. The two of them in the room, you started to feel at peace. But there was a conversation that needed to happen, and it had to happen soon.
“So, I’m your.. Queen now huh? What does that mean exactly?” Lyith exchanged glances with Rena.
“Well, it’s a lot like being married. Rena and I have sworn to love and protect you for the rest of our lives. And you accepted us into your mind, heart and body, fortifying us.” He crawled forward so he could take hold of your hand, caressing the curves of your fingers.
“Exiled Bee-men often survive dying by Queen Bonding with someone who has compatible pheromones. Thats how we are able to share our emotions. But you’re experiencing more then that right?”
You nodded slowly. “I could kind of tell where you guys were at.”
“And you were able to hear Heaven's emotions without him sharing them with you. You were able to pick up his pheromones and read them, despite not having a bond.”
“A Queenbond to another species is something that takes several weeks of mating to take. Not to mention, when you were healing Lyith, your magic should have only temporarily stabilized his magic. Instead you healed all the damage that he had accumulated from enacting magic without a Queen. Even if he had bonded to a normal Queen, he would not have been able to fully use his mana again.”
“You’re mana is turning into something like a true Queen. We don’t understand it.”
Your heart started pounding hard in your chest. You took stock. Did you feel any different? No. You were tired, but you were still you. Your mind went back to all the Bee-men who’s been eyeing you in the hall. The Joy, the hope, Haven’s hunger.
“The rest of the hive… they..,”
“No. Little One, there are two hives now. Ours and theirs. They are letting us stay here now in hopes of you becoming their Queen. That you would heal them all, and stop their inevitable walk towards death.”
The stakes are so high.
You felt sick. You had only meant to save Lyith, but the whole hive?
You had wanted to help them, sure, but they wanted you to give your whole life away to them? You wanted to save them, but this might just be too much.
“I’d have to give up my human life. And I’d have to become some baby making factory.”
“A Queen IS the mother of the hive, but she is so much more. She is also the heart. Like you are our hearts now.” Lyith leaned forward and the three of you were in a full embrace.
“We aren’t asking you to do anything you don’t want to. You don’t have to become their Queen if you don’t want to. But either way, we need to stay here for a few days. If you move your body too much, it might affect your mana and make you sick. Its possible that the stress of it could even kill you.”
Lyith pulled away and kneeled onto the floor so he could rest his head on your lap. His eyes didn’t leave you. Rena continued. “We are not able to hate you anymore, little one. We will not judge you if it's too much to ask. After all, another Queen could find her way to the hive.”
Twenty years.
Your eyes started to water. You wanted to weep for them, for these Bee-men. For Lyith and Rena and Haven and everyone you had met here. You suddenly felt so young and small. You sat there and cried for what felt like an hour. It was all too much.
When you stopped you were bone tired. You tugged on your bonds between Rena and Lyith, and their minds consumed yours. Their pain for you, their worry, but also their love filled your mind. It was a balm to you. It was so intimate, this feeling of being one with them, but you had to admit you loved it. You loved them.
You felt a wet warmth rubbing on your thigh. You looked down to see Lyith, his eyes big and round as he kitten licked your pants. You got goosebumps. You watched him for a second, the warmth flooding your cheeks.
“Lyith…”
“I think you’ve had a really stressful day, my Queen.” Lyith’s tone was innocence itself, but he continued to lick long stripes, causing a wet patch. You swallowed.
Seeing you not pull away, he shimmied his head up to the zipper of your pants and pulled it down with his teeth. He then licked between the zipper, once, twice, three times. His hands snaked up to the top of your pants. Rena, seeing where this was going, pulled you out of her arms.
She motioned Lyith off you and laid you down near the edge of the cot. She tossed Lyith a pillow. He rolled you over gently and positioned the pillow under you. Your entire face started to heat at the thought of how easy this was for them. Heavy arousal from both sides filled your mind, making you feel sensitive all over. Rena took hold of one of your thighs and pulled it closer to her side on the left. She started to reach over and message the skin of your chest as she pulled your chin to kiss her.
Her breath was hot and her lips soft. The fluff of her chest felt good against your belly, as she had pushed up your shirt. Her tongue played hopscotch with yours, moving over and under, as if to tease you more. You whined at her as you felt Lyith kissing a slow trail on your inner thighs. His hand pulled your puffy lips apart, and he blew cool air onto it. The tension in your stomach wound deeper, waiting.
He started licking wide flat lines from your entrance up your vulva. He took breaks, kissing and licking at your labia, before working his way slowly back to your clit, sucking. The texture made you groan, as he took his time. You don’t know how he did it, maybe he had practice, maybe he--fuck.
He moaned into you, letting you know of his own pleasure as he humped the edge of the mattress. You ached for him, as Rena nibbled and sucked on your neck. You are writhing under them now. From Lyith, from Rena, from the utter devotion the were laying in waves upon your mind. It made your core boil, their emotions coating your consciousness with the blanket of their devotion. Despite the fact that they were the ones playing your body like some kind of instrument, you were the one with the power here. The one making them so crazy all they wanted to do was make you come one more time, scream out one more time.
“You're our universe, my Queen. Won’t you come for us, just a little bit?” Rena whispered in your ear. Despite her words, Lyiths mouth was the center of your universe right now, building you to a peak so high, you weren’t sure where it would go. Then he sang into you, a high pitched needy note, and the tension broke. Your body was pleasure and stars filled your eyes.
You were panting when you looked over at Lyith, who was staring at you with the same adoration one would give a puppy who successfully carried out a trick. His mouth was glistening.
Seeing you watch him, he dragged his long black tongue around his mouth and swallowed.
“Are you feeling more relaxed now?” He asked with some amusement. You pouted at him, then pulled yourself up.
You patted the seat to your right, giving him a heated stare. He obeyed with poise. You could see his dick, long and as golden as his face, with a darkening brown near his tip. It held ridges on several points and was glistening, covered in his precum.
You looked back to Lyith, giving him an innocent expression as you dragged your finger around the bumps of his dick. The skin was smooth and slippery, but it gave a little under your touch. You pulled yourself out of Rena’s arms and off the cot. You plopped down on the spot between his legs, lining your face up with his dick.
Lyith was completely taken off gaurd, eyes wide, then rolling back into his head as you took the tip into your mouth. Huh. Even his precum had a sweetness to it that you quite liked. You tried to swallow down more of it without chocking, causing him to gasp and shudder over you. When you looked up, his eyes were soft and glazed, mouth open. He didn;t hold back his moans as you continued to lick and suck his dick. You traced the ridges of it with your tongue and pumped him with your free hand. He was quite large.
He keened and gasped, letting out whiny thank yous and sputters. When you glanced over at Rena, you saw her with her own hands on her cock, her eyes never leaving your mouth as you worked Lyith down to babbles. Eventually it was too much for him and he came, beautifully blond lashes fluttering as he shot his load down your throat. You coughed and let go of him immediately, not used to how much fluid was coming out of him. You almost swore you swallowed down something small and squishy? Like a boba ball, but you were probably imagining it. There was just so much cum.
“Was that.. Good?” You asked sheepishly. All he could do was nod at you as he laid back in the cot. It had seemed like at some point Rena had gotten off too. The room was full of panting and you took your place in the middle of your lovers, sated and happy.
“So… do you guys have showers in this place?”
Guys I would love some criticism for my smut. I've written so much lately that they all just kind of blend together. I will probably come back and edit this entire part at some point, but for now, here it is in all its unedited glory! And yes, at some point Lyith will have his turn inside reader, but for now, he will have to make do with being one of readers favorite sweets~ I hope you liked it! And yes, their will be more parts and more smut.
PART EIGHT
#monster fucker#monster lover#monster x reader#terat0philliac#teratophillia#monster#bee hybrid#bee hybrids#bee hybrids x reader#bee hybrid × reader#Bee monster#monster smut#monster boyfriend#terato
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Electrolytes and why they're important especially when water f4st!ng:
Electrolytes are electrically charged minerals, such as sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, chloride, bicarbonate, and phosphate. They are involved in various physiological processes.
During a water f4st, the body can lose electrolytes through various means, such as urine, sweat, and even through breathing.
Without sufficient intake of electrolytes, the body may experience imbalances that can lead to various health issues including:
muscle cramps, dizziness, weakness, irregular heartbeats, and in severe cases, even life-threatening conditions such as de4th.
Here's a breakdown of each electrolyte and its role in the body:
Sodium (Na+):
Role: Sodium is the primary extracellular cation (positively charged ion) and plays a vital role in maintaining fluid balance and blood pressure. It is essential for nerve impulse transmission and muscle function.
Source: Commonly found in table salt (sodium chloride) and many processed foods.
Potassium (K+):
Role: Potassium is the primary intracellular cation. It helps regulate fluid balance, nerve impulses, muscle contractions (including the heart), and maintains proper cellular function.
Source: Found in various fruits and vegetables, such as bananas, oranges, potatoes, and spinach.
Calcium (Ca2+):
Role: Calcium is essential for maintaining strong bones and teeth. It also plays a key role in muscle contractions, nerve transmission, blood clotting, and cell signaling.
Source: Dairy products, leafy greens, nuts, and fortified non-dairy milk.
Magnesium (Mg2+):
Role: Magnesium is involved in hundreds of enzymatic reactions in the body, including energy production, protein synthesis, muscle and nerve function, and maintaining healthy bones.
Source: Found in nuts, seeds, whole grains, leafy greens, and legumes.
Chloride (Cl-):
Role: Chloride is the major extracellular anion (negatively charged ion) and works closely with sodium to help maintain fluid balance and osmotic pressure in cells.
Source: Commonly found in table salt (sodium chloride) and many processed foods.
Bicarbonate (HCO3-):
Role: Bicarbonate is involved in regulating the body's acid-base balance (pH level) and is a crucial component of the bicarbonate buffering system.
Source: The body produces bicarbonate as part of normal metabolic processes.
Phosphate (HPO42-):
Role: Phosphate is essential for bone and teeth mineralization, energy production (adenosine triphosphate, ATP), and serves as a component of DNA and RNA.
Source: Found in various foods, including meat, dairy products, nuts, and whole grains.
To prevent these complications and support the body during a water f4st, it is crucial to supplement with electrolytes.
Many people who practice prolonged water f4st!ng or intermittent f4st!ng find it helpful to take electrolyte supplements or consume electrolyte-rich drinks to ensure they maintain proper mineral balance throughout the f4!sting period. However, it is essential to consult with a healthcare professional before starting any regimen or supplement routine, as individual needs may vary.
#making a list of signs/symptoms of low electrolytes next#ed not ed sheeran#ed not sheeren#ed no sheeran#disordered eating thoughts#tw ana shit#tw ed diet#ed bllog#anorex14#ana trigger#ana shit#tw ana diary#4norexi4#thin$spo#thinspø#th!n$spo#⭐ving#⭐ve#tw ed rant#ed vent
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I legitimately didn't remember how fucking batshit funny some of the Dooku sections in Claudia Gray's Master and Apprentice were. Qui-Gon's remembering his first mission with Dooku in flashback: okay, seems straightforward enough. They land in an ongoing crisis in a battle zone, Dooku goes to talk to the generals. Then, next scene, we smashcut directly to:
"Don't be afraid." Dooku's voice rang out over even the howling winds of Shurrapak. Qui-Gon clung to the carbon-fibre-rope riggings of the Shurrapakan ship, salt spray stinging his face and hands as they rounded the cape to approach the battle from an angle the enemy wouldn't expect. "They're shielded against skycraft and energy weapons. Not against seafaring vessels!" He made this sound majestic, courageous, brilliant -- nothing like the last-minute, last-ditch attempt it really was. Qui-Gon took a deep breath and stared up at the stars. Big mistake. The stars weren't moving and his stomach was, and the queasiness that swept through him made him feel weak.
Dooku has been on this planet for less than 24 hours. There are already other Jedi there ahead of him with established generals working on the battle plans, which according to the scene just before this, are complete enough that its conceivable Dooku and Qui-Gon will miss the action. So naturally, the plan he then comes up with is "ABANDON ALL OTHER PLANS, WE ATTACK THE FORTIFIED BATTLEFIELD WITH OLD TIMEY ROPE-RIGGED SAILING SHIPS!"
And at his side?? A seasick twelve year old who has never left the Temple or seen battle!!! Who can't swim! And backing them up?? Rael fucking Averross, who Dooku was just nagging for being too eager to get into the fighting. Sure, Dooku. That's Rael's problem.
This is the most disaster lineage shit I've ever read. This could absolutely be an Anakin and Obi-Wan Clone Wars arc.
Bonus Rael and Qui-Gon Content, from earlier in the chapter:
"C'mon, then, let's go talk to the generals." Rael made it sound like the most natural thing for a twelve-year-old to do.
Rael, you crazy motherfucker, never change.
#Dooku just bellowing “seafaring vessels!!” with majestic courage like it's the best plan he's ever come up with is killing me#he's attacking an energy shield with a fucking pirate ship#where did he even get it#a living history exhibit??#count dooku#rael averross#qui gon jinn#master and apprentice#master dooku#star wars books#disaster lineage
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Consecration and protection of the home
During the fall and winter, often at campfires or near the fireplace, stories of the paranormal and the unexplained are shared. These stories often center around the places that are closest to us, such as a family home, a favorite campsite, or a commonly traveled dirt road. Many people are hesitant to speak of these events, however, they often feel safe or encouraged to share them over a late-night cup of hot cocoa and s'mores.
Scary stories often get me jittery, and one thing that provides me comfort is protecting the home from stirred-up spirits and negative energies. Creating the home into a refuge is vital to the spiritual health of the home overall. While there are many ways and traditions regarding protecting the home, I will share two methods that I find the most useful.
Method 1 - Salt and Pepper Protection Ritual
Begin by cleansing your home with the method of your choosing. My go-to for this method is mopping the floors with a cleaner like pine-sol as it cleanses the entirety of the floors, which is important for this method.
Then, open all of the exterior doors. Using a broom sweep outwards over all of the thresholds. As you do this, command any unwanted energies to leave by repeating "I command ALL energies that do not serve me, that do not have good intentions, and that take away from the spirit of this home to LEAVE. You are NO LONGER welcome HERE. As I sweep, you EXIT."
Once that is done, it is time to prepare your herbs and ingredients. I use table salt mixed with rosemary, ceremonial tobacco, sun-charged beer, whiskey, or gin, and whole peppercorns. If you do not have authentic ceremonial tobacco, use the alcohol in its place. I was gifted my tobacco by a dear friend and mentor of mine who comes from that practice and cultural background. If you want to use tobacco as I do, I suggest you seek out a mentor yourself to learn about the practice. Once you have these items prepared and at hand, you may move on to the next step.
Begin by going to the exterior of your home. Using your charged alcohol, begin to offer it to the earth. If you have tobacco, offer that to the earth as you were taught to. I always give thanks to the wonderful space I occupy and am a steward of, and acknowledge that this land is older than I am and that it is my elder. I complete my offering by kneeling and touching my forehead to the earth, being sure to give profound thanks.
Now, locate the four primary external corners of your home. If your space has more than four sides or is oddly shaped, form a square around the space that wholly encompasses it. This may be represented as the fence around your property, or the outside corners of your apartment building. Beginning at the northernmost corner, pour a small mound of the salt mixture into a small dish in front of the corner, and say "As this salt is placed here today, it marks the beginning of its service to this home. It will fortify, protect, and create sanctuary here. It will blow away with the wind once its protective powers are used up." Then, soak the mound of salt in the alcohol. Repeat the above steps for the remaining three corners, going to the east, then the south, and conclude to the west.
Now, enter your home. Locate every external corner of your home and place four whole peppercorns at the base of each one. Try to tuck them in as best as you can so they are unintrusive and remain mostly undisturbed. Wet each pile with your charged alcohol and ask the pepper for its protection.
Once the above steps are complete, store the remaining alcohol and periodically pour it onto the peppercorns and salt to recharge them. If you see that the dishes of salt are low, refill them with the salt mixture.
Method 2 - Miraculous Soil Protection Ritual
This protection typically requires the 'holy' dirt from Chimayo. If this is inaccessible for you, you may be able to request some to be sent to you by the church. If you prefer not to I will teach you to make your own substitute.
To make a suitable substitute first you must locate some seemingly dry or infertile land such as cracked dirt from a drought. Now, look for signs of life in the dirt. Look for a small plant that is somehow defying the odds, or miraculously continuing to thrive in such harsh environments. Once you find a spot of soil with life, collect a cup full and leave the rest for the earth. Thank it by offering it water. Water the plant and tend to it; help it succeed at life. Then pray over a handful of table salt the following prayer:
Being of the earth. In the name of the ineffable God, and by the power of the tetragrammaton, be you consecrated in the service of the most high. Imbew this salt with the powers to protect this house and everything and everyone in it from all evil. Ometeo.
Once complete, wet the salt with distilled water and mix it into the cup of dirt. Allow it to thoroughly dry before use.
Once you acquire or make holy dirt, head to the front of your home with a small dish filled with the dirt. Begin to sprinkle it along the threshold of your door and ask for protection. State that no negativity may pass the sacred soil.
Then, sprinkle the dirt around the perimeter of the front facade of your house. Do not use too much. You should not be able to physically see the dirt. Then place the dirt on top of any plants near your front door. If there are none, consider planting a chile pepper bush for protection. Rosemary is another good option, along with juniper.
Now, repeat the above steps for any walls containing an external door. If there are none place the dirt at each corner. If there is another wall, do not place it at the corners, as it is not needed.
Once completed, pour a glass of water out from the inside of each external door while standing within it. As you do this say "As I pour this water it washes away all remaining evil. It may no longer reside here."
Protecting the home is a vital step to protecting those who reside within it. These methods are my two personal go-to methods for every home I inhabit, and I hope that you find use in these methods. Be sure to execute physical safety too, as that is equally if not more important than spiritual safety. Be sure to continue to regularly cleanse your home too, as you do not want negativity to fester within the home itself.
#brujeria#new mexico#witchblr#witchcraft#folk magic#folklore#green witch#grimoire#polytheist#witchcore#protection#spiritual cleansing#limpia#safety#witches#witchy#witch#baby witch#folk witch#witch stuff#witch tips#folk witchcraft#witchcraft community#coven
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NUTRITION JOURNALS: VITAMINS (PT 1/2)
HOW MANY VITAMINS ARE THERE?
- there are thirteen (13) essential vitamins; vitamin A, vitamin B6, vitamin B12, vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E, vitamin K, thiamine (B1), riboflavin (B2), niacin (B3), pathogenic acid (B5), biotin (B7), and folate (B9). these are the ones i'll focus on in this past, and it will be a longer post.
WHAT IS VITAMIN A?
- vitamin A is a fat-soluble vitamin that supports your immune system, vision, reproductive health, and fetal growth. there are two forms of vitamin A; preformed vitamin A which are found in things like dairy, liver, and fish, and provitamin A carotenoids which can be found in fruits, vegetables, and oils. - The recommended daily amount of vitamin A is 900 micrograms (mcg) for adult men and 700 mcg for adult women.
WHAT IS VITAMIN B6?
- vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) is important for normal brain development and for keeping the nervous system and immune system healthy. Food sources of vitamin B6 include poultry, fish, potatoes, chickpeas, bananas and fortified cereals. - vitamin B6 has been shown to have antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties, and helps your body to make DNA, hemoglobin, and neurotransmitters. - in addition to low iron, low vitamin B6 has been linked to anemia, which i dont imagine i need to tell yall is incredibly common in disordered people. - because B6 is connected to neurotransmitters, it can help regulate mood and even aid sleep. One study showed that higher vitamin B6 intake is associated with lower depression and anxiety risk in females, but not males. - vitamin B6 also helps your body maintain normal levels of homocysteine, an amino acid that helps to build proteins. - vitamin B6 supplementation specifically has been shown to improve body composition – your ratio of lean muscle to fat. it has also been linked with higher muscle mass and lower body fat levels. in particular, vitamin B6 supplementation has been linked to lower-body weight loss, with a reduced amount of fat across the hips and waist.
WHAT IS VITAMIN B12?
- vitamin B-12 (cobalamin) plays an essential role in red blood cell formation, cell metabolism, nerve function and the production of DNA, the molecules inside cells that carry genetic information. - sources of vitamin B-12 include poultry, meat, fish and dairy products. Vitamin B-12 is also added to some foods, such as fortified breakfast cereals, and is available as an oral supplement. - some studies suggest that vitamin B12 could affect body fat and metabolism. one review concluded that vitamin B12 plays a key role in fat metabolism, noting that a deficiency could be linked to increased fat accumulation and obesity. take this with a grain of salt, though, because there is limited research on the topic. - vitamin B12 plays a role in serotonin production, so a deficiency may be connected with clinical depression. this may feel irrelevant, but your physical and mental health are really complexly connected. taking care of one can help improve the other.
WHAT IS VITAMIN C?
- vitamin C (ascorbic acid) is a nutrient your body needs to form blood vessels, cartilage, muscle and collagen in bones. vitamin C is also vital to your body's healing process. additionally, it is an antioxidant that helps protect your cells against the effects of free radicals- molecules produced when your body breaks down food or is exposed to tobacco smoke and radiation from the sun, x-rays or other sources. - vitamin C is found in citrus fruits, berries, potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, cabbage, brussel sprouts, broccoli and spinach. - vitamin C helps your body to absorb iron in foods like beans and spinach, who's bio-availability is lower. - although vitamin C doesn't necessarily cause weight loss, it seems to be related to body weight. getting sufficient amounts of vitamin C increases body fat oxidation during moderate-intensity exercise. - another critical function of vitamin C is synthesizing carnitine, which transports long-chain fatty acids into the mitochondria that produce energy.
WHAT IS VITAMIN D?
- there are different forms of vitamin D, including ergocalciferol (vitamin D2) and cholecalciferol (vitamin D3). vitamin D is found in fish, eggs, and fortified milk. It's also made in the skin when exposed to sunlight. during periods of sunlight, vitamin D is stored in fat and then released when sunlight is not available. - your body can only absorb calcium, the primary component of bone, when vitamin D is present. Vitamin D also regulates many other cellular functions in your body. Its anti-inflammatory, antioxidant and neuro-protective properties support immune health, muscle function and brain cell activity. - vitamin D might play an important role in regulating mood and decreasing the risk of depression, and some studies suggest there may be a link between vitamin D and obesity, though more research is needed to verify this.
WHAT IS VITAMIN E?
- vitamin E is a nutrient that's important to vision, reproduction, and the health of your blood, brain and skin. vitamin E deficiency can cause nerve pain (neuropathy). - foods rich in vitamin E include canola oil, olive oil, margarine, almonds and peanuts. You can also get vitamin E from meats, dairy, leafy greens and fortified cereals. - getting enough vitamin E may help prevent oxidative stress and cellular damage. oxidative stress occurs when there’s an imbalance between your body’s antioxidant defenses and the production and accumulation of compounds called reactive oxygen species (ROS). this can lead to cellular damage and increased disease risk.
WHAT IS VITAMIN K?
- vitamin K is actually a group of compounds, with the most important ones being vitamin K1 and vitamin K2. vitamin K1 is obtained from leafy greens and some other vegetables. vitamin K2 is a group of compounds largely obtained from meats, cheeses, and eggs and synthesized by bacteria. - vitamin K's key role is to help heal injuries through blood clotting and strengthen bones by making four proteins among the 13 that are needed for blood clotting (coagulation) and osteocalcin.
#pierrot reviewed#nutrition journals#ed rant#ed but not ed sheeran#tw ed ana#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw ana bløg#tw 3d vent#tw ana rant#ed blr#ednotedsheeran#ana advice#ed blogg#ed boy#boy ed#ed diet tips#ed ftm#ed male#ed moots#ed nonsense#ed twt#edbr#ftm ed#male ed#trans ed#transmasc ed#tw ed implied#tw edtwt#ana male#ana tip
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POTS affirmations i can drink seawater i want to drink seawater the seawater will fortify me and make me strong they want to keep this knowledge from me because they dont understand my salt consumption capacity big municipal water is keeping you down rise my salt warriors take to the seas
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Finished Chapter 14 of The Song of Achilles and like you I already found one change that gets on my nerves. Why is Odysseus now the Prince of Ithaca? When he was already King by the events of the original poem? What was Madeline Miller’s purpose in demoting him from King to Prince?
This better have a payoff or else… without Odysseus being King I feel his 20 year absence from Ithaca has less serious consequences. I think without him being King of Ithaca, his wife’s suitors wouldn’t be so eager to replace him.
Well I will start with what me and other classics readers say, that Miller is extremely biased with certain characters and that shows in her writing (true she writes in a very beautiful way and has great expression but still...) so certain characters are depicted positively and others negatively (no surprise or news there) and she writes in a feministic way so certain characters in the background are bound to be disregarded or worse changed. However most people have come to know that her writing of characters is really inaccurate or that it comes straight from her imagination (see for example how in order to get her romcom aura we must see a "homophobic character" aka Thetis who acts almost as a villain, we see the stereotype of star-crossed lovers like Achilles and Patroclus (which is a trope she uses by combining elements from the original but ignoring the character development of others in order to fortify her message) etc.
That being said, Miller's style seems to me like she uses SOME elements of the original, blasts them out of proportions, altering it to be more simplified to fit a romcom setting and re-writes the rest to fit the characters. I am not 100% famliar with her books given how I haven't read them in the full but I have seen stuff around and read some passages so take this hypothesis with a grain of salt but this seems to be the case to me. So in this case it is clear that Miller doesn't see Odysseus in a very positive light (given what she goes with to her other novels as well) so yeah her trying to lesser his importance or the status in the story seems more than just a possibility to me.
So here goes my reply, sorry if this is long:
In this case she seems to take advantage of the fact that in translations there is no distinct difference in the text between the word "prince" or "king" in the homeric text (both are being stated by the term άναξ (anax->wanax, from mycenean greek as well) and is being used to speak on the ruler that has under his command the ships and the army. That is to be said some of the commanders of the greek army had living parents back home and Odysseus was included among them. It seems like Laertes was in a way retired since indeed Odysseus seemed to be a king in his own right, in fact Penelope even insinuates he had been so for a long time, given how she tells Antinous the story of his father who arrived to the palace begging Odysseus for his own life, possibly implying that Odysseus was a ruler of his own right more than 20 years prior, possibly before Antinous's birth or during Antinous's childhood or infantry. On the other hand some people seem to separate his father from Odysseus by naming Laertes "King of Cephallenians" and Odysseus "King of Ithaca" aka that technically Laertes is the king of the entirety of the kingdom (Ithaca, Cephallonia, Acarnania etc) and Odysseus's juristiction is Ithaca. Personally I do not fully support that last one given how Odysseus is the only one who seems to be in charge even if Laertes is still alive. It seems that the tradition in Ithaca was a bit more family-like in terms of ruling and the king retired from his duty because of age, letting the younger and more capable son to rule (potentially Laertes is an exception and gave the authority to Odysseus because he thought he was more capable ruler than himself. Odysseus possibly proved his worth during the internal conflicts with the Taphian pirates or in conflict in Messinia [when he received his bow in his youth as a gift])
It also seems to be backed up by how by n large they got married within the kingdom (Eurylochus is from the same kingdom, from the small island of Same and marries Odysseus's sister Ctimene, the suitors of Penelope all come from within the kingdom from different principates and regions). Laertes and Odysseus seem to be exceptions to the rule since Laertes marries Anticlea, daughter to the great thief Autolycus who lived in Parnassus and Odysseus who married Penelope from Sparta) So it seems that the kingdom is more like a "family business" than actually some kingdom with expansive or military construction (unlike Mycenae or Sparta) so it doesn't seem impossible that there is either a tradition for the old ruler to quit and pass the throne to the next generation rather than wait for his death to pass authority or that if one did it wouldn't seem impossible. It also seems that other kingdoms are not necessarily the same as modern kingdoms either. Icarius is still alive when the events of the Odyssey take place. We don't know if Tyndareus also is alive or not, from what I remember, in Homer's writing so it is not clear what kind of rules exist to that realm. Could it be also that the ruler is not only of age (able to grow a beard aka around the final 20s or early 30s) but also marriage that gets them ready to rule? Like Menelaus is a ruler of Sparta by marriage, Odysseus rules as a sovereign ruler because of his marriage? It could be although again the suitors of Helen were often called "kings" in literature, it doesn't seem to be the case given how most of her suitors are either young (Ajax, Menelaus, Antilochus was also mentioned or even Diomedes in some sources even if the two of them would be literal children at that time) or sons of existent rulers let's say Odysseus. So it is possible that marriage AND coming of age play their part in succession. It gets a bit confusing as well since Odysseus leaves order to Penelope that she has to wait till her son is of age (when his beard grows) to pass him the throne, if he hasn't returned till then. Does Odysseus imply that his son would rule if he was of age, regardless of his death or is he implying that they first have to confirm he is dead before Telemachus takes over? It is indeed an enigma but then again the case of Odysseus is complicated; he goes to a war that he doesn't know if he is gonna return from and according to some readings and traditions, he was repared to be off for a long time as well from an omen he heard so his case with Telemachus seems to be an exception rather than the rule given the extreme conditions they deal with.
Either way yeah it doesn't seem that Odysseus is not a ruler in his own right in any shape or form in the Iliad or the Odyssey despite the fact that Laertes was still alive throughout the entire process. Either because it was a consistent tradition or because Laertes made an exception, it seems that Laertes was not an active ruler by the time Odysseus left for Troy and as I said it seems that Penelope implies Odysseus was already a ruler capable of giving pardon to someone (Antinous's father) or command armies (Taphian pirate incident, Messina, Troy) so yeah it doesn't seem that Odysseus is considred "a Prince" like for instance his brother-in-law Eurylochus or the Suitors and their families but he seems to be a king in his own right; he is the one who has the duty to send away the suitors; he is the one to command the army and he is the one to call the counter-attack in the Odyssey against the retalliation of the families after the murder of the suitors and not Laertes.
So to close this already long answer yes among the many changes Miller imposes in her book to fit her narrative, it seems that she takes advantage of modern day perspectives of rule and succession (aka the sovereign ruler's death before the other takes over) plus the fact that there is no distinct word between king and prince in the ancient texts to call Odysseus "a Prince" possibly to decrease his status (similar to how ancient writers mentioned Odysseus not being legitimate son of Laertes but a bastard son by Sisyphus) so yeah it does seem like it as you said given how Miller doesn't seem to be fond of Odysseus as a character. But that would be my hypothesis. Either that or Miller simply doesn't want to consider a different rule of succession than the modern one she and her readers are familiar with aka a king becomes king only after his father's death. Which is ironic though given how many people mention Odysseus "a king" even if they know or possibly because they forget Laertes is still alive.
Hope this helps
#katerinaaqu answers#odysseus#greek mythology#tagamemnon#odysseus in miller's books#odysseus as a king or prince#rules of succession in homeric poems#homeric poems
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Yearling - Ch. 22: Storm
A spring snowstorm hits Jackson. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-21 found on Tumblr here.
PLEASE PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE CONTENT WARNINGS, THIS IS A ROUGH CHAPTER!!!
Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: Past sexual assault vaguely described; animal death; PTSD response; sexual assault of a minor mentioned in a vulgar way (not seen); possible child death. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only
Length: 8.6k
AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Early May, 2013
You were outside when the woman rode up.
Your home was well hidden and you’d only seen five people since Mark had left almost a year earlier, each of them making their way into your land and telling you that he’d sent them your way. They were all kind, they were all vulnerable and they were all loaded down with things you would need. Flashlight batteries and bulbs, sugar and salt, rubbing alcohol and petroleum jelly. Thread, fabric, pain killers, antibiotics, guitar strings. One woman had been sent with a snack sized bag of Lays that were still sealed and a bottle of whiskey. That had made you smile, the clearest sign that Mark hadn’t forgotten about you.
All of the others had arrived on foot, seemingly with a good idea of where to go, mostly alone but two women has traveled together. The timing wasn’t predictable but you at least knew what you could expect when someone Mark sent your way came into your territory.
This woman was different.
You heard her before you saw her, the thundering footfalls and heavy breathing of her horse loud against the quiet of the forest. You didn’t have time to fortify your position, didn’t even have time to go get more ammo. So you stood your ground and raised your rifle, heart pounding, when she burst through the tree line and into the clearing that you called home.
���Back the fuck up!” You yelled, gun raised. The horse all but skidded to a stop, the woman on its back clutching a bundle of blankets to her chest with one hand, yanking back on the reins with the other.
“Easy!” She said dropping the reins and putting her hand up. She still clung to the bundle. You recognized the horse. It was Perseus, it was Mark’s horse. “Are you Texas?”
“Who’s askin’?” Your accent was thick, fear a knot in your stomach as you looked Perseus over. You didn’t see any signs of injury.
She kept her hand up.
“You knew Mark?” She asked. She had an accent, too. Georgia southern, like Mark. “Brown hair, criminally long eyelashes?”
You narrowed your eyes at her and tightened your grip on your weapon.
“He knew you,” she kept going. “He… he told me all about you. Doubt he ever mentioned me but… he talked about you all the time. He loved you and I think you loved him, too.”
You swallowed past the growing lump in your throat and tightness in your chest. She kept using past tense.
“What about him?” You asked, keeping your gun raised but your grip loosened.
“He sent me to find you. We need your help,” she said, reaching and tugging her pant leg up just enough to reveal a festering bite mark on her ankle. “And I don’t have much time.”
***
Early April, 2027
“I can’t believe you’ve been calling her a fucking baby deer this whole goddamn time!”
Ellie was perched on Shimmer’s stall door, watching as you and Joel set out blankets for the horses. It has been snowing all day and winds were picking up. You were worried a blizzard was moving in and you wanted help getting the horses set to ride out the storm if you couldn’t get to them for a day or two.
Joel was happy to assist, especially since he had come back from patrol a week earlier with a copy of Bambi on VHS. Ellie hadn’t been able to calm down about it since and it reminded him of the giddiness she had when she started in on the puns the first time, almost four years ago now. He’d have done anything to get that back and, it turned out, all it took was an old Disney movie and a funny nickname.
“Thank you,” you laughed, almost smug. “Don’t talk for a few minutes and get saddled with the name of a cartoon deer for life…”
“Hey, needed somethin’ to call you and you try coming up with anything else after lookin’ at you with those big eyes,” Joel said, defensive but smiling. “Not my fault it stuck.”
“Yeah well Bambi here was gonna kick your ass the first time we met,” she replied. “Big bad contractor was gonna get beat up by a fucking cartoon deer from a kid’s movie…”
Joel tried to keep from laughing and raised his eyebrows at you.
“OK that’s an exaggeration,” you said. “All I was going to do…”
“I asked if you were going to try to kick his ass,” Ellie cut you off. “And you said ‘no try about it, I was gonna kick his ass.’”
“And what did I do to deserve that?” Joel asked, teasing.
“Well, Ellie tried to warn me about you…” You began, but Ellie cut you off.
“Should have listened….”
You glared at her.
“But she wasn’t very clear,” you said. “And if some grown man was messing around with a girl, I was going to kick his ass. Turns out I didn’t have a reason to.”
Joel laughed.
“Glad you spared me.”
You laughed before planting your hands on your hips, looking around the stable for a moment, taking stock.
“Think things are just about as good as they’re gonna get,” you sighed. “But I think they should be good for a day until we can dig out and get back over here. Just wait for them to finish dinner, put more feed in after…”
“Think there’s any chance of the patrols making it back tonight?” Ellie asked, her eyebrows drawn together.
“Probably not,” Joel said. “They got places to ride out shit like storms if they get stuck, they’ll be alright.”
“Still,” you said. “Had a group that was due back tonight, Jackson was probably the closest point to ride it out. Think I’ll hang out for a bit yet…”
“I’ll go get us something to eat,” Joel said. “We’ll wait with you, head home after, settle in to ride out the storm.”
“Can we stay at Bambi’s?” Ellie asked. “She’s got a way better stereo.”
You smiled.
“Sure, kid,” you said. “On you to get Joel to dance party, though.”
“Dance party?” He frowned.
“You wouldn’t get it, Old Man,” she replied, the hint of a smirk on her face.
“Don’t get a lot of things about you, Baby Girl,” he said before stretching his back a bit. “Alright, back in a few. Try not to find too much trouble while I’m gone.”
You and Ellie both rolled your eyes and he couldn’t help but smile as he made his way through the few inches of snow that had already fallen, heading for the mess hall.
One of Joel’s favorite parts of being back on good terms with Ellie was getting to see your relationship with her. Even before she was mad at him, he wanted her to have someone like you in her life. Another woman she could talk to, look up to, guide her in ways he didn’t fully understand. She needed that and he hadn’t been able to see it happening from the distance she was holding him at before.
He knew the two of you were close, he just hadn’t realized how close until the last few months. The two of you felt more like family than Sarah’s mother ever had and he treasured it, treasured that you seemed to love his daughter almost as much as he did.
The mess hall was getting ready for a storm, too, putting together baskets of food to send home with Jackson residents so people wouldn’t be struggling through the storm for their meals over the next few days. He gathered enough to last the three of you for a bit plus some sandwiches for tonight before he started back toward the stables, the wind more forceful and biting than when he’d left just half an hour earlier.
As he got closer, he noticed tracks in the snow, hoof prints leading to the stables. A patrol had made it back and, for half a moment, he was a little disappointed. If the storm wasn’t as bad as they were expecting and the patrol was able to make it back to Jackson without losing much time, he might not get to spend the day with you and Ellie tomorrow. Ever since the storm started moving in that afternoon he’d been excited for the chance to have some unexpected time just the three of you - almost like playing hooky but with permission.
But he knew he should just be happy the patrol made it home through the weather, hopefully with all the people intact. Which, he was. But damn if he didn’t love an excuse to spend time with you.
He opened the door to the stable and quickly moved shut it behind him, expecting to find you taking saddles off horses. Instead, you damn near slammed into him, your eyes wide, not saying a word as you shoved the door open and took off into the snow.
“Bambi?” He called after you. You didn’t even slow down. He jogged over to Ellie’s perch and set the food down, a tightness starting to grip his chest.
“No idea,” Ellie said, not waiting for him to ask. “Patrol came back, said something about some people they found outside… She just said ‘savvy’ and took the fuck off.”
Joel looked around for a second. Julie was standing next to her horse, a confused look on her face.
“You found people outside?” Joel asked.
“Yeah,” she said, still staring at where you’d run out. “Yeah, a group of five. We brought them back…”
“Where are they?” He asked, fighting to keep his voice calm.
“The clinic…”
“Ellie,” he said quickly. “Stay put here, alright? I’m gone more than half an hour, head on home. Mine or hers, don’t want you in that little place for this storm, OK Baby Girl?”
“Yeah,” she nodded, not giving him shit. She looked concerned, too. “Yeah, OK.”
He gave her a stiff nod and went out into the building storm, following your footprints to the clinic.
Joel heard you there before he saw you, your voice pleading and desperate as he shut the wind and snow outside.
“Anything,” you were begging. “Anything at all, a name, an age, hair color, anything, please…”
“I’m sorry,” a man whose voice Joel didn’t recognize said. “She did say much before she died, just that there was a girl…”
Joel found you then, in the same room he’d been in when he’d come in from patrol with a bullet in his leg.
“Where?” You asked. “Where’d you find her? Did she say where she escaped from, how far she’d come?”
“We picked them up about 15 miles north east of here,” Fred, one of the men on patrol, said. “Just south of Kelly.”
“Think she came from a camp ground near there,” the other man said. He was skinny, a patch of frostbite on his nose. “Said something about cabins…”
“Right,” you nodded. “Right, thank you.”
You turned and ran smack into Joel’s chest. You barely seemed to register it, hardly even glancing at him before ducking around him and running out the door again.
“She was asking about a girl,” Fred said quickly. “These folks here, had a woman with them before we found them. Said she escaped raiders, that the raiders had a teenaged girl…”
“Fuck,” Joel muttered under his breath before looking at the other man. “Thanks, Fred.”
He didn’t wait for a response, just ducking back into the snow, the wind starting to howl now, running to catch up with you.
You were on your porch by the time he reached you. You didn’t even seem to be aware that he was following you, you were too focused on something else entirely. You didn’t even bother to take your boots off when you got in the house, just ripping the coat closet inside your door open and pulling out your patrol materials as Joel let himself in.
“Bambi,” he said gently. You looked up at him for a moment, like you were surprised to find him there before you focused back on your pack, shoving in blankets and flashlights. “Come on, honey…”
“They’ve got her, Joel,” you said, barely glancing at him before you grabbed your bag and half walked, half ran to your kitchen. “Can’t just leave her out there with them, I…”
“There’s a snowstorm, Sweetheart,” he said gently, trying to keep his voice calm. “It’s not safe…”
“Doesn’t matter,” you started stuffing food in your bag, no rhyme or reason to it that Joel could see.
“Yes, it does,” he said, trying to take the pack from you. You yanked it back, a vicious look in your eyes before you ducked around him. “Baby.”
“I’m not leaving her to those… those…” your voice cracked. “Those fucking monsters, I’m not, I can’t just leave her, I can’t just abandon her, I…”
“You getting yourself killed won’t help anybody.” It was getting harder and harder to keep the panic from his voice. He’d never seen you quite like this. Close to it when out on patrol and there were signs that raiders were near, signs of their violence, but he’d always been able to pull you back from the edge. He wasn’t sure he could this time. “Bambi, you can’t…”
“Yes, I can.”
You moved around him and he followed.
“I know you want to help people,” he said. “But you can’t help anyone if you get yourself killed. I know you want to save everyone from going through what you went through…”
“That’s not what this is,” you said, turning in circles like you were looking for something but you couldn’t place it.
“Then what is it?” He caught you by the shoulders and looked at you, your eyes wide and panicky. “Tell me, help me understand. When the weather clears, I can go with you and…”
“It’ll be too late then,” you shook your head, tears starting to swell. “As soon as the snow stops they’re going to leave and it’ll be too late, I’ll never catch them and they’ll still have her and I can’t lose her again, Joel, I can’t, I can’t take it, I can’t do this again, please, don’t ask me to do this again I…”
“Do what?” He asked, pleading, his grip on you firm. “Let me help you, Baby, please, tell me what’s going on. Who…”
“My daughter!” You said quickly. Joel froze, his heart pounding against his ribs. “I have a daughter, I have a daughter and if it’s her I… I can’t lose her again, I can’t. I have to go get her…”
“You…” he breathed.
“My daughter,” you said, eyes wide. “Please, Joel. I think they have my daughter.”
***
Early May, 2013
You lowered your rifle enough that it was no longer an immediate threat and she relaxed a little, letting the pant leg fall over her ankle again. There was a small cry from the bundle in her arms and you frowned, looking between her and it. She carefully lowered it from her chest, looking down to it.
“Hey, you’re OK sweet girl,” she said gently. “It’s alright…”
The bundle fussed but didn’t cry again and she looked back to you.
“Can I get down?” She asked. “Got a lot to talk about and not a lot of time to do it. Figure I’ve got an hour left. Two, tops.”
“Yeah,” you nodded quickly. “Yeah, OK. Let’s talk.”
You didn’t invite her in, not wanting to deal with the potential hazard of her turning into one of those inhuman things in your house. She didn’t seem to mind.
Her name, she said, was Laurel. She was about your age, you guessed, with her dark hair in two thick braids, deep brown eyes and rich umber skin.
“This is Savannah,” she said, tilting the bundle so you could see inside. “She’s nine months old…”
You looked at her, awed for a moment. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen a baby and you resisted the urge to reach out and run your finger over her chubby, impossibly soft looking cheek. She blinked at you, her brown eyes oddly keen and exacting for a baby, her lashes almost obscenely long. You frowned, leaning in to look closer at her. You knew those impossibly soft, brown eyes set in her lovely russet-hued face.
“She’s Mark’s,” you said softly, looking up at Laurel. “She’s Mark’s, isn’t she?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, she is.”
“I…” your voice broke. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know he had someone, I wouldn’t have…”
“It wasn’t like that,” she cut you off. “My husband died about three years ago. He got hurt, it got infected… Not even the fucking apocalypse kind, just the kind that you can clear up with penicillin if you can find the damn stuff. Mark… we were both lonely, looking for something to make it better for a while. It just kind of happened. She just kind of happened.”
The baby cooed, stretching and reaching for you.
“Where is he?” You asked, looking back at Laurel. “What happened to him?”
“Our settlement got overrun,” she said, her voice suddenly thick. “They came out of nowhere and just… He tried. He tried so, so hard, you should know that he tried. But he got bit, on the neck, trying to protect us and… He told me where to find you. That’s what he did with the last few minutes of his life, he told me where to find you, he told me that you’d take care of us, make sure we survived. He told me to tell you that he loved you and that he wanted to come back to you…”
You found yourself nodding, tears on your cheeks as you looked into the eyes of the man you loved in his child’s face.
“He died before I got bit,” she said. “He died thinking we had a shot. I kept her safe, though. She was safe…”
“You did good,” you said, throat tight. “You really did…”
“I need your help,” she said before taking a deep breath.
“Course,” you nodded, tearing your eyes away from Mark’s daughter to look at her. “What…”
“I need you to take Savannah.”
You just blinked at her for a moment. “I…” you broke off, shaking your head. “What? I… no, no, I’m not who you want, I don’t…”
“I don’t have a lot of options,” she said. “I don’t have time to find another person let alone someone I know I can trust. And I know I can trust you with her. Mark loved you and you loved him, you won’t let anything happen to his child.”
“But I…” you looked back at the baby in her arms. “I don’t know anything about kids, I wouldn’t even know where to start, I don’t…”
“Please,” she said, her voice breaking. “He wanted you to take care of her. I think… I think part of him knew it would just be her. That’s why he sent me here, to you. He wanted it to be you. He trusted you and he loved you, he wanted her to be with you. Please, I’ll beg if I have to, just please take care of her. Please.”
You looked at the baby in her arms, at Mark’s eyes with the impossibly long lashes.
“OK.”
Laurel held her daughter while she told you everything. You paused her to take some notes when you thought of it, things like a recipe for formula when she refused solids and what to do when she started crying but wouldn’t stop. She told you how much her daughter loved to gnaw on bits of apple and loved to bounce in time to her father’s humming and her birthday - July 20.
She started twitching more in what felt like no time at all, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. She pressed her lips to her daughter’s forehead.
“You’ll be OK sweet girl,” she whispered to her. “You’ll be OK. Mama loves you, OK? Try to remember that for me, OK?” She looked up at you. “Will… will you tell her about me? About Mark?”
You nodded, the pinch of tears tight in your throat.
“Of course,” you said. “I’ll make sure she knows everything you did for her. She’ll know about you.”
She nodded, passing you her child. Your child.
“I’d like to do it myself,” she said, nodding to the gun at your hip. “If that’s OK.”
“Yeah,” you nodded, adjusting Savannah in your arms and handing Laurel the gun. She took it and walked backwards away from you, her eyes on her daughter. Your daughter.
“I’ll close my eyes just before,” she said once she was about 20 feet away, still looking at her baby. “Can you cover hers for me? I want to look at her as long as I can but I don’t want her to see…”
“Yeah,” you nodded again. “I can do that.”
“Thank you,” she smiled tightly, actually looking at you this time. “I… I know this isn’t what you planned but… It’s easier, knowing she has someone.”
“I’ll take care of her,” you said. “I’ll love her. I’ll take care of her.”
Laurel just nodded and looked back at her child, watching her for a moment, the gun in her shaky hand.
“Mama loves you,” she said softly, raising the gun to her temple and closing her eyes. You quickly pressed Savannah’s face into your chest and held her close.
Everything was eerily silent for a moment, the longest second of your life, before there was the crack of the gun and the sharp cry of the baby who was all you had left in the world.
August 2018
“You have learn this, Savvy.”
“I don’t want to shoot them, Mama,” your daughter looked over at you from her spot on the downed tree, looking at the infected more than 100 feet away through a scope.
“These are the easiest things you’ll ever have to shoot,” you said gently. “It’s nice to shoot them, you’re making it so they’re not hurting anymore…”
“But they’re people.”
Her eyes - her father’s eyes - were so wide. The springs of her curls were bundled back away from her face, a sprinkle of freckles across her nose.
“I know they look like people,” you ran your hand over the crown of her small head. “But they’re not, not anymore. They’re things that are hurting and the only way to help them is to shoot them. And shooting them keeps you and me safe. Now, you can do this. Do it just like you do at home with the targets.”
She looked at you, her big eyes watery, before obeying and turning back toward the gun. You watched as she lined up her shot and took a deep breath, exhaling before firing.
Her shot went a little wide, catching the infected on the arm. It whipped its head around and shrieked before running for you.
“Mama!”
“It’s alright,” you said, looking down your own rifle for a moment before firing and hitting it in the head. It dropped like a stone. “See? All OK. This is why we learn.”
“I’m sorry,” her voice was thick and trembling and you looked over at her, tears streaming down her face. “I tried hard, I promise…” she hiccuped and gulped in air and you set your rifle down and sat up before pulling her against you.
“You did so good,” you kissed the top of her head. “Don’t be sorry, Honey, you did so good, I’m so proud of you.”
“But I didn’t kill them,” she pulled her face from your chest, her lower lip quivering. “I did it wrong and…”
“You’ll get better,” you said gently. “No one is perfect when they’re learning. This is just to make sure that you’re safe. I’ll always protect you but it’s good for you to know how to protect yourself, too. This is just in case, OK?”
She nodded against you and you held her until she stopped crying. When she calmed, you ran your thumbs over her cheeks and kissed her small forehead, wishing you didn’t have to teach her these things. If you could just shelter her away from the world - from infected, from the people who has found power because of the infected - then it would all be OK. She wouldn’t need to know how to kill. It could be just you and her, growing things and raising horses and reading by the fire, until the end of time.
But the world, you knew, was not so kind.
“Want to go pick out some books?” You asked gently. She nodded and the two of you got up and you took her hand, leading her to the library.
In the more than five years you’d had Savvy, she had become your entire world. Everything you did, you did for her. To keep her safe, to make her happy, to teach her. You’d known nothing about children when Laurel brought her to you. The first night, you’d held her close while you both cried and you prayed to a god you’d never been sure existed that you would do right by her.
Loving her came easy. Living for her was harder.
But you fell into it eventually, guiding her through the world as it was now as best you could. If you found a family near your territory, you’d watch them from afar and, once you knew it was safe, bring Savvy to introduce her, give her a chance to know someone besides yourself. You taught her how to read, how to count, how to skin a rabbit. You had no idea if it was the right thing but you hoped it would be enough that, when she was older, she would survive if something happened to you. That’s all that mattered, that she would be OK.
“Mama?” She asked, setting her picture book on her legs as you browsed the shelves for more books on home schooling and small scale farming.
“Yes baby?”
“What else would I need to shoot?”
You frowned and looked down at her, your hand on the spine of a book.
“What?”
“Well, you said that the not people are the easiest things I would have to shoot,” she said, face serious. “So… what else would I have to shoot?”
“I don’t think you’ll like shooting animals much,” you said and she crinkled her nose. “But you’ll probably have to at some point.”
“But I like animals,” she pouted.
You smiled.
“I know you do.”
“What else?” She asked, still peering up at you.
You sighed.
“Sometimes…” you turned your attention back to the books. “Sometimes you’ll have to shoot a person.”
Her wide eyes somehow grew wider, a look of horror on her face.
“But…” her little voice broke. “But I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“I know,” you said quietly. “But sometimes we have to.”
“Why?”
“Because,” you looked down to her. “There are things in this world that want to hurt you and you need to know how to hurt them first.”
“But you’re here,” she said. She was so young, so small. You knelt, getting down on her level.
“You still need to know how,” you said. “I will do everything I can to protect you but I might fail. You need to know how to destroy them before they destroy you because they will. They will destroy every part of you they can touch if they have the chance. Don’t give them the chance.”
She considered that for a moment, her face very serious.
“Does it hurt?” She asked, looking up at you.
You reached down at cupped her cheek.
“Yes,” you said quietly. “Yes, it does.”
Her eyes were wide and soft and deep and you wanted, more than anything, to keep her safe.
“But I’ll take care of you,” you said, stroking her soft skin with your thumb. “For as long as I’m alive, I’ll take care of you.”
September 15, 2023
“Mom?”
You looked up from where you were working at skinning a rabbit. There was a glow in your front window, a hold over from when Savvy was even younger and you had to leave to go check on the horses before bed. She got scared one night when she woke up and found that you weren’t in the dark cabin. Ever since, you always left the electric lantern on when you left in the evenings, even though she said she didn’t need it anymore. It was just enough to work by as the sun got lower outside.
“Yeah?”
“What…” she paused, an odd look on her face. “What’s in Gattling’s mouth?”
The dog was hovering behind Savvy’s legs and you leaned around from your position on a tree stump, trying to get a look at her. You frowned, not able to make it out in the low light, and set the rabbit and your knife down, wiping your hands on a rag tucked into your belt.
Gattling’s tail wagged as you approached, her head low and you squatted down to be on her level, angling her head toward the house so her muzzle wasn’t in shadow. Her snout was red with blood, something dangling from her jaws. You held your palm out flat.
“Gattling, release.”
She obediently dropped it in your hand with a sickening splat. It took you a moment to realize that it was a pinky finger.
“Mom?” Savvy’s voice was shaky. You dropped the finger where you stood and heard the crack of a gunshot in the distance.
“We have to move.”
You grabbed her arm and pulled her in the house, Gattling trotting close behind.
“What’s happening?” She asked, looking back over her shoulder. “Mom, what’s…”
“Get packed,” you said, grabbing a pack and thrusting at her before running to the dresser in the corner. You shrugged out of the shirt you were wearing and traded it for the one you’d worn when you fled the ranch 20 years earlier, not willing to leave Justin’s shirt behind. “Some clothes, first aid, batteries, flashlights, all three kinds of ammo, sleeping bag.”
You went to the kitchen and started grabbing things you’d already preserved. Jerky, dried fruit, some seeds. Most of the canteens in the house were full and you grabbed a few. You grabbed the pistol, the shot gun and the rifles. You set it all out on the table and looked over to your daughter who was obediently filling her pack.
“Leave room for this,” you said, taking your rifle from the pile. “Meet me by the horses as quick as you can. Turn out the lantern on your way.”
She just nodded. You sprinted for the cabin you’d turned into a stable. Nike was huffed at your arrival and you grabbed her tack and saddled her up as quickly as you could, making sure there was room to add basic supplies. Savvy ran into the pen just as you led Nike and Perseus into the middle of it.
“Long guns,” you held your hand out as you tightened down straps of the saddle. She handed you the shotgun first and you tucked it into a strap on the saddle. The rifle came next. You stepped back and looked at it for a moment.
“OK,” you said turning back to your daughter, looking her over. She’d gotten so tall, she was only a few inches shorter than you now, you didn’t even need to stoop to press a kiss to her forehead. “Want you to head north, understand?”
“What are you talking about?” She asked as you took her arm and guided her alongside the horse. “Mom, you’re coming with me, I’ll just follow you, I’ll just…”
“I’ll get to you when I can,” you said. She shook her head, her eyes wide.
“No,” she grabbed your arms. “No, you can’t, you can’t just leave me, you can’t…”
“I’m not leaving you,” you held her face in your hands, looked into her eyes. She had her father’s eyes. “I’m not, OK? I will find you. I will always find you, sweet girl, I will always protect you. That’s what I’m going to do, OK? I’m going to buy you time. Cut north, stick to the woods, off the trails. You know things here. Go out of the way, work your way around the long way to the library. Meet me there in three days, it should be safe…”
“Three days?” She gaped at you. “No, I can’t…”
“Yes you can,” you said, firm enough that you believed it, too. “Yes you can. I’ve taught you everything I know, you can make it. It’s just three days, you’ll be OK. You’re so strong and you’re so smart, you’re going to be OK. I will always find you. I will always protect you, I will always keep you safe. I promise.”
You pulled her tight to you and kissed her temple.
“I love you,” you breathed, pulling back to look at her face. “More than anything, I love you. I’ll see you soon, OK? Ride through the night, switch horses at dawn and keep riding until tomorrow night. You can do this.”
“I can do this,” she repeated. ���I can do this.”
You looked to the dog at your feet, her tail wagging and her muzzle bloody.
“Gattling,” you said. Her ears perked up. “Savvy.”
She immediately went to your daughter’s side, ready to protect her.
You boosted Savvy onto the horse, taking a final look at her.
“Just three days, right Mom?”
You swallowed, hard, before nodding.
“Just three days. Be safe. Be smart. I’ll see you soon.”
You didn’t have the luxury of watching her ride away. The second her, Nike and Perseus were clear of the paddock, you ran to saddle up Hercules.
You needed to buy her time.
October 13, 2023
You were still paying for your escape.
It was hard to keep track of time. You were with Mitchum and his crew about two weeks the first time. That’s what it felt like, anyway. You were pretty sure it had been about half as long since they got you back. It was hard to tell. You were so panicked, in so much pain that time stretched and expanded and every hour that passed was an hour that you were separated from your daughter and you needed to get to her, you had to. She was just 11 years old and the world was not kind to girls. You’d taught her everything you knew but you had to get back to her, you didn’t want her to have to hurt and kill.
When you’d escaped, you’d done nothing but search for her. You went to the library, tried to track where you thought she’d have come from but it had been weeks. There was no trail left to follow. You were about to return to your cabin to check there when Mitchum’s men found you again. You still had no idea where Savvy was.
You’d promised to take care of her. You’d promised her, you’d promised the woman who had given her to you a decade earlier. You’d promised.
You had to get back to her.
They’d chained you to a wall this time but you thought you might be able to pull the bolt out of the wood if you worked at it diligently enough. You pried at it until your nails were bloody and you kept going. You were covered in blood already, anyway. It was sticky on your skin where it had flowed from the cut on your head where your face had been slammed into the floor as one of Mitchum’s men had taken you from behind while you were on your knees. It had been a steady drip from inside of you since the first time Mitchum forced himself on you when you were brought back, whatever injury there was not given time to heal. The raiders seemed to like it when you bled on them. It even coated part of your arm where one man had cut you when trying to control you, not happy with your lack of compliance as he hurt you. A little more as you tried to pry yourself free wasn’t going to draw attention.
The door slammed into the wall without warning and you jumped, shocking back from the wall. The man standing there smirked, stalking over to you.
“Getting ideas are we?” He sneered. He didn’t wait for a response. “Thought you’d have learned your fuckin’ lesson last time…”
He pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the cuff that held you before pulling you roughly to your feet. He didn’t give you any clothes, he just pulled you, naked, out to the circle of men around a campfire. Your heart sped up, tried to count them. You weren’t sure you could survive being at the mercy of the more than two dozen who were here, not at one time. He threw you into the dirt and you caught yourself on your hands and knees.
“Here’s my favorite little bitch,” Mitchum stalked forward. You sat back on your heels and crossed your arms over your chest, trying to protect what you could. “How have you liked being back home? We keepin’ you entertained?”
A few of the men laughed. You swallowed and peered around, hoping for something you could take advantage of, just one open space, one unguarded moment and you could escape. For good this time. You could do that, you could escape and figure out where you were and then find Savvy.
“Figured out what you were hidin’ back in that homestead of yours,” Mitchum said, a smirk on his voice. You looked at him, eyes wide. Your stomach dropped and he laughed. “Didn’t think you’d like that. Can see why you were workin’ so hard now, she sure was a pretty little thing.”
“Fuck you,” you spat.
He laughed.
“That can be arranged,” he said. “Fucked that girl of yours, too. Broke her in real good…”
You were on your feet before you fully realized what you were doing, running for him. You grabbed at his face, snarling and grasping as you sank your bloody nails into his skin. You dug deep and he punched you in the stomach as one of his men pulled you back, forcing you to the ground.
“I’ll kill you!” You shrieked. “I’ll fucking kill you!”
He stalked forward and punched you across the face before grabbing a fistful of your hair, forcing you to look at him. You felt blood on your teeth and you wished it was his. You wanted to rip his throat out like an animal, wanted to claw and bite at him until he succumbed.
“I wanted to keep the both of you,” he said, holding your hair tight in his fist, fingers against your scalp. “Figured you’d be a lot more fun with her life on the line. Too bad she couldn’t take it.”
The world tilted on its axis. You hadn’t eaten in days but you still felt like you were going to be sick, like everything inside of you, the blood and the viscera that made you a living being, was going to come up.
“Oh yeah,” he smirked. “Should’ve probably been more careful with her but it was just so much fun to hear her beg for her mama…”
“You’re a liar,” you hissed through clenched teeth. “A fucking liar!”
He kept his eyes on you and he whistled before forcing you to look at the fire. Two men stepped forward, each carrying burlap sacks. One was much larger than the other.
“Show ‘er.”
The first man, the one with the large bag, turned it over. A horse head fell out of the sack, landing on the dirt with a wet thud. It took you a second to recognize her, separate from her body, but it was Nike. You screamed, the sound clawing its way up from your chest and you instinctively reached for her only to have Mitchum rip you back by your hair.
“Wanna see what’s in the other bag?” He pressed his mouth against your ear as you sobbed. “Decided to keep her head, thought I should pass it around, see if it’s as good cold…”
You strained in his hold, trying to shake your head. You couldn’t get yourself to form words. There was the distinct feeling that someone was cracking you open, prying apart your chest and pulling your organs out one by one. They didn’t belong to you anymore. You weren’t sure they ever really had, they were hers and she was gone.
You couldn’t see her like that, see just her head, like she had only ever been parts and pieces to begin with.
“Please,” you managed through the gasping, racking sobs. “Please, please, no, I’ll do whatever you want, whatever…”
Mitchum smiled.
“Good.”
The pain of the brand barely registered in your mind, even as your body jerked with it. Everything seemed dulled and numbed. Time slowed and stretched and, for a while, the only thing that your body seemed to have space for was the agonizing pain of losing something you were never built to lose.
It was a year before there was room for anything else.
Early April, 2027
“Bambi…”
“Move, Joel.”
You shoved past him. You’d need a sleeping bag, two sleeping bags, actually. An extra pair of boots, she probably didn’t have those. She’d have out grown the last ones she had, she would be 14 now, she’d be even taller, have bigger feet, longer legs. They didn’t give you clothes when you were with them, you doubted it was different for her.
First aid, that you’d need.
“You can’t do this, Baby,” he was following close behind you.
“Yes, I can.”
“You’re gonna get yourself fucking killed,” there was a strain in his voice. “Who knows what you’ll be walking into out there, how many there’ll be, how armed they’ll fuckin’ be, what they’ll do to you if they get your hands on you…”
“I have to try.”
You didn’t have a gun here. You’d have to get one, you were pretty sure Maria would give you one if you told her why you needed it.
“Just…” Joel sounded desperate. “Just wait, until after the storm, just wait, I’ll go with you, we’ll look, we’ll…”
“It’ll be too late,” you shook your head. “Someone got out, as soon as the weather clears they’re gonna move and we’ll lose them, it has to be now.”
“Have you seen how shit’s pickin’ up out there?” He came around in front of you, taking you by the shoulders. “Baby, the wind is gonna knock you off your damn horse, you can’t help her if you’re dead, please, I’m begging you, please…”
“What would you do?” You asked. “If it was Sarah, if it was Ellie. Would you sit here and wait? Or would you go get her?”
He froze, looking at you.
Your knife. You’d need your knife. You went to get it but Joel stopped you, his hand on your elbow.
“Bambi,” he said quietly. “You can’t know that it’s her.”
“It could be,” you said. “Joel…”
“It’s been years,” he whispered. “Baby, it’s been years, there’s… I’m so sorry but she’s… They wouldn’t have let her live this long, she couldn’t have survived this long, she’s gone, I’m so sorry…”
You shook your head. You had that feeling again, like the one you had that day around the fire when Mitchum had told you he’d killed her, the feeling that your whole self was being ripped apart.
But you’d never seen that she was gone. You never held her body, never saw the life leave her eyes. You didn’t know that she was gone. She could be alive. She could.
“You don’t know that,” you said, your voice thick. “You don’t…”
“You barley survived,” he said softly. “You, the strongest fucking person I know and you damn near died. A teenager couldn’t have survived that, Baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry and…”
“No,” you snapped, swallowing back your tears. “You don’t know, you don’t know them like I do…”
“I do,” he cut you off. “Sweetheart, I am begging you, stay here. Please. Don’t get yourself killed, if it’s her we will find her as soon as it’s safe…”
“You don’t know!” You pushed him back. He was costing you time, time you didn’t have. Savvy was out there, she was out there alone and afraid and you were going to find her. “Let me go, Joel. I know them, you don’t understand them, you can’t understand them…”
“I understand them because I used to be one of them!”
You froze. He was watching you, his eyes wide and desperate as he panted for breath. Your heart was pounding, there was a high pitched whine in your ears, something like a siren or when you first came to Jackson and could hear the electricity in the walls.
“What?” You whispered, suddenly keenly aware of how close he was to you, of his hand on you. You could feel the outline of his fingers, each individual callus distinct against your skin.
“I used to be one,” he said softly. “A… a raider, I used to be one. It was a long time ago but I know how they think, I know how they operate and… I’m sorry but if they’ve had her for three and a half years? She’s gone, Sweetheart. There’s nothing left for you to save…”
You thought Joel was still talking but you couldn’t hear him. It was like you’d just jumped into deep water, the cold of it shocking and painful and the rush of it drowning out everything you knew. You couldn’t hear, couldn’t breathe, could barely see.
Joel. Your Joel, the person you trusted more than any other, was a raider. He was like them, like the men who had torn you away from your daughter, who had raped you, who had tortured you, who now might be doing the same to your child right now and Joel knew them because he was like them because he had done those things, too.
“Don’t touch me.”
You were suddenly in your body again, out of that deep dark water and back in your house. Joel’s hands were on you and it was like they were on fire, you could feel it through your skin into your muscle, your bone, down into the marrow of you it hurt where his hands were on you.
“Baby,” he said gently and you forced yourself to look at his face. You couldn’t breathe. You’d kissed him, told him things you’d never told anyone, all but begged him to touch you and he was just like them.
“Don’t touch me!” You screamed it and he ripped his hands away like you’d burned him. You could breathe again and gulped in air, reaching for the back of your couch. You needed something to keep you standing, you felt like you were going to collapse or throw up. Joel’s hands were up, like he was waiting to catch you if you fell. “Don’t touch me, don’t you fucking touch me!”
“You’re OK,” he said, keeping his hands off of you but stepping closer. “I’ve got you, you’re OK…”
“Get away from me!” You backed away from him, looking for the best way out of here. You had to get away from him, he wasn’t safe, he was just like them and you had to get away from him, you couldn’t be anywhere near him. “Get away!”
You said it again and again and again and you kept backing away from him until you were pressed against the wall. Joel stayed where he was and, when you were able to look at him again, it looked like he was in pain.
“I’m away,” he said softly, his hands up. “Not gonna touch you, Sweetheart…”
“Don’t call me that,” you were sobbing and you weren’t sure when you’d started.
“What?” He whispered.
“Don’t fucking call me that!” You bit out, staying back against the wall. He was so big, he could overpower you, he could hurt you, it would be easy for him. “Don’t call me that, not when you’re like them, you’re just like them, I trusted you and you’re just like them…”
“No,” he shook his head, voice thick. He closed the gap between you quickly and you shocked back from him but he didn’t seem to notice, taking you in his arms and clutching onto you. But his touch made your skin crawl, everywhere his body was against your own screaming in panic. “No, not like that, I never… I never did what they did to you, Sweetheart, please, you have to believe me, I never did that, never. I just…”
“I trusted you!” You sobbed, your legs collapsing from beneath you. Joel clung to you, keeping you from falling to the floor, but you hated his hands on you, suddenly feeling like hands you’d hated so much. You twisted and fought to get away but he just held onto you. “I trusted you, you made me love you, I let you inside of me and you’re like them, you’re just like them…”
“I’m sorry, Baby,” his voice was thick and wet. “I’m so sorry, I wish I could take it back, wish I could change it…”
You managed to firmly plant your feet on the ground and you shoved against his broad, firm chest, desperate for distance from him.
“Don’t fucking touch me!”
He let you go and you scrambled back from him, fighting to breathe. He was looking at you, tears in his eyes.
“Baby, please,” he whispered. “Please just… let me take care of you, I understand what…”
“I don’t want anything to do with you,” your voice shook.
“Bambi…”
“Get out,” you managed.
He said your name. Your real name.
“Get out!” You screamed, so loud and harsh you felt it ripping out of you. “Get out of here, get away from me, get out!”
“I’ll go!” He kept his hands up. “Just gotta promise me…”
“I don’t gotta do shit for you,” you shook your head.
“Promise me you won’t do anything that will get you hurt,” he said softly, He was crying, too. “Please, I’m begging you, I’ll do whatever you want just promise….”
“I won’t, now get out!” You yelled. “Get out, get away from me!”
“I’m going,” he said quickly. “Please… Please, be safe, please.”
You watched as he made his way to your door but he stopped and looked back at you.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For… for all of it, I’m so sorry.”
He closed the door behind him and you collapsed to the ground and sobbed, clutching onto yourself like it was going to keep your body intact but it still felt like you were going to shatter into a million pieces and there would be no one to help put you together again.
You weren’t sure how long you were there on the floor but, eventually, you were able to make yourself move again.
You thought of Savvy, of your daughter, of where she might be, of how you’d promised to keep her safe. You got up off the floor, body numb, and grabbed your pack before going out into the snow.
Next Chapter
A/N: Alright, yell at me. I'm ready for it.
There's a lot in this chapter, I know. It's long, it's rough, it's been coming for a while. We first got a hint of Savvy in chapter 4 when Bambi thought about Joel's possible relationship to Ellie and she's been hinted at regularly since. She's why Bambi knew to use ginger to help William's teething, she's why Bambi was specifically grateful to have another adult around when Marisa showed up, she's why Bambi keeps searching every time there's even a hint of raider activity.
And after everything she's been through, she can't just blindly accept Joel's past, that's way WAY too much for anyone who's survived what she has to bear.
I hope this didn't come completely out of the blue and I hope you're still up for reading more of this story. I hope it'll be worth it in the end. I think it will be.
Thank you for being here. This is a story that I feel like deserves to be told, even the dark parts of it, and I'm so thankful you're along for the ride. Love you ❤️
Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123
#fanfic#joel miller x female reader#yearling#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x oc
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