#First words can damn you
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First words can damn you
@gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan has a couple of nifty soulmate au's... I personally don't like soulmate au's often please ignore the fact that their oc Petras has a chokehold on me so when I see they have a horror one... Momrad likes horror... here's my take on it. I also wrote this with a minor migraine so sorry if it actually reads like shit
@bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog
@thevoidscreams @barn-anon @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @squishyowl @ms--lobotomy
@nekotaetae @sleepyfan-blog @remembrancer-of-heresy
tw: blood; typical momrad insanity
unnamed and unspecified chapter of traitor/female (not really a reader in this situation)
Please... Let me die. As a child he didn't like the words on his wrist. Why would he have the misfortune of meeting them at such a low point in their life. When he became an aspirant those words became such a driving force behind him... he would be the hero! It had to be the context of finding them and he would be their savior! But as he grew and grew and how rarely he did hear those words... he didn't react but he always replied the same... no.
The heresy consumed him whole, retching him back up into something new, something twisted, something powerful. He was in such a position of power that he could hear those words pleaded to him and the sick satisfaction and bitter disappointment of never feeling that burn... not feeling that rush of joy in his hearts to find them.
He became more and more of a monster... anyone he gets his hands on usually begs for death quickly... he's no longer lucky enough to find others begging for death as when he was younger... no no he must be the catalyst for their suffering.
And he would look back on this meeting with relief... with joy that he in fact wasn't the cause for her pain... for her suffering... well not the direct suffering. She was a fresh body writhing on the spike weeping and he practically purred at the suffering of mortals. His eyes kept coming back to that bleeding naked form. Eyes glazed over with pain... fresh and dried blood coated her skin leaking from where she had been skewered on the spikes. "Please... let me die." She asks with a raw throat.
His spine tingled with anticipation of disappointment but he would relish in her suffering as he replies as he always does to this. Leaning in close as he purrs out with sickening delight, "No."
At first she starts to weep but then she screams and writhes as her eyes widen looking at him with horror as for him... his wrist burns. She thrashes upon the painful spikes as she screams no over and over and over again. It's easy to keep her from moving as he looks to her wrist just seeing the word No written there now glowing and warm... just as his is.
"Shhh shh none of that I know it must hurt for you my little mate. Someone will come to help get you down." He purrs petting her face, stealing a few kisses, and relishing the taste of her blood against his tongue.
For her? It's a nightmare. She babbles sobbing prayers to the Emperor to help her, to save her, to make her wake up from this nightmare, to strike her down, to do anything but let her fall into his claws. She cannot try to kill herself anymore by writhing on the spikes... he wont let her. Unconsciousness takes her as she is ripped free of the rusted spikes and there is a faint bit of hope that this is it.
A hope that dies... dies as she wakes up in a soft bed. His eyes looking into hers as his knuckles gently caress her cheek. "Hello my little mate." He whispers as he kisses her forehead, "Oh... oh how I've been looking for you for so long. And now that you are here... we have so much time to get acquainted. Do not cry my little mate... my brothers that hurt you before wont dare hurt you now. Its just going to be the two of us till you heal up; which I know will take some time given your feeble nature being a mortal." His face nuzzles hers as she can't stop the tears and the fear, he understands but knows that she should be happy that he has saved her... he will allow her mortal mind some time to recover from her trauma as well as her mortal body time to recover... he's being a very sweet and very generous soulmate.
Death was no longer an option for her and she wept.
He purred as he gently held and tried to comfort his soulmate feeling such utter joy. And surely she must be crying with joy at being saved...
#First words can damn you#soulmate au#warhammer 40k#momrad's blurbs#momrad's drabbles#yandere space marine#yandere 40k
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I wouldn't really agree that boys are just arm candy in magical girl shows and only there to look cute. Yeah, sure the girls' friendships are the focus, but the boys are usually very much involved in the plot and most shows do explore their feelings about the odd things that happen due to magical shenanigans even if they aren't in the know (It's why ML baffles me even more with how they screwed up Adren's arc when he's the deuteragonist, when all these boys are supporting cast and get well rounded arcs)
I'm not much of a winx fan, but the specialists were very much not arm candy. Did the girls talk about them being cute? Yes, it's what teenage girls do. Did the narrative suggest they were good looking? Yes, but that's standard for most love interests in any genre. But we still got scenes with them talking amongst themselves about how they themselves feel and they got a fair share of badass fight scenes even if they wield no magic. A large amount of episodes actually included the boys and girls working as a team solving a mystery or fighting a villain. The girls might deal the finishing blow but the boys were still integral to the plot.
I hope this doesn't come across as hate, it definitely wasn't my intention. I'm just a bit too passionate about the magical girl genre.
I do think you have a good point with ML having a problem choosing a genre or blending two genres successfully.
For the CCS fans, I will add though that Cardcaptor Sakura had both Tomoyo and Syaoran serve as sources of motivation for Sakura. And both Sakura and Syaoran collecting cards even if Sakura is the only one who could seal them and yet never made you question whether Syaoran was even necessary for the job the way ml does with Chat.
I wasn't trying to say that boys have no part to play in magical girl team shows or that they're always treated as having no lives beyond the girls, that's why I mentioned that the Winx Club boys - aka, the Specialists - have their own (mostly off screen) lives and occasionally show up help the girls:
the boys are usually off doing their own thing and only occasionally show up for a date or to give the girls a ride on their cool bikes or magical spaceship
Even then, this is certainly a simplification of the roles that they play in the story, but I kind of had to simplify their roles down to their base components for the original post's discussion as I was talking in broad strokes of how these stories are written.
In terms of those broad strokes, the Specialists are absolutely only there for shipping fodder. That's why each one is assigned to a girl from the start and why their main role in the narrative is supporting their assigned love interest or causing relationship-based drama for their assigned love interest. If it weren't for shipping, then the Specialists would not exist.
While the Specialists do have fleshed out characters and may even effect the plot, the execution of those elements is designed around the girls. A really obvious example of this is the character Timmy, who has character development as the boy's tech guy. Why is he into technology? Because he's the designated love interest for the fairy of Technology and we have to show why they're a good match. Along similar lines, the boys don't really get plots that are removed from the girls because this is the girl's show. Every episode features one or more of the Winx, but the boys are optional and often don't appear.
This is because, narratively speaking, the boys are just love interests and that brings us back to Miraculous' big problem. You can't have a show where Adrien is written like a Specialist while also being part of the Winx Club and where Alya is written like she's part of the Winx Club while technically being more of a Specialist in terms of power set and actual narrative role.
I'm was thinking back to my memories of various Winx Club plots to find one that really highlighted what I mean here and I remembered that one of the big dramas in season one was the reveal that Bloom's love interest - Sky - was in an arranged marriage and had just never told her. As it turns out, that's a great example of what I'm talking about re Adrien!
Is that plot line technically based around Sky and letting his life effect the plot? Sure, but the fallout of that reveal revolves around Bloom, not Sky. The story doesn't really care how Sky's feeling as the conflict progresses. Instead, it focuses on how it affects Bloom and her friends because of course it does! She's the main character. It would be really weird if that plot suddenly focused on her side character love interest and his friends during one of her darkest hours/biggest moments.
Think of that and then consider how the ending of season five is written. Notice any similarities? Sure, this is Adrien's family drama, but because he's just a Specialist, the focus isn't on him. It's on Winx Club member Marinette and Adrien only shows up at the end for a kiss. That is the problem. That is what I'm talking about when I say that Miraculous will randomly write him as if we're watching a magical girl team show where Adrien is just the love interest.
In fact, let's really dig into this example because it's a good one.
You can have a look at the transcript for the finale episode of Miraculous season five here and see for yourself that Adrien doesn't even show up on screen until the final scenes when the big drama is over. The Winx Club wiki also has episode transcripts, so I took a look to see what happened in Winx land during the arranged marriage reveal plot (I love that this is a thing. It's so useful for fact checking myself!) This is the script for the episode after Bloom learns the truth. Sky does not appear even though his lies and family drama are the fuel for this episode's events, which are a major part of the season's arc. Note how perfectly that matches Adrien's writing?
Similarly, Sky's dialogue in the reveal episode is all about Bloom. He's worried about her learning the truth and thinking less of him. To match that, here's Adrien's only real dialogue in the penultimate episode of season five (full transcript):
Adrien:(Covers his ears.) I cannot transform... (Looks at his ring and tries taking it off.) Plagg: What are you doing?! Adrien: I'm not in my right mind. I'm too angry — at myself for falling short of Marinette's love, at my father for sending me here in London, at this stupid app and these rings that use my image... it makes me sick! This nightmare is giving me the horrible feeling that, if I transform, I'll get akumatized and destroy everything with my Cataclysm — Marinette, Ladybug... (Takes off the ring and hands it to Plagg.)
Switching back to Winx. After Bloom learns the truth about Sky, bad things happen because she's depressed. This results in her and the Winx going off on a journey to learn the truth of who Bloom is. After the girls share this big plot moment and Bloom gets her mojo back, the boys show up to be their ride home and to give Bloom her romance moment where Sky wins her back by declaring that he broke off the arranged married because he loves her.
Sky notably doesn't get an arc about choosing between his arranged marriage and his true love. We don't even know that the marriage is broken off until he tells Bloom because that was never really a conflict as far as the narrative was concerned. Of course he's going to pick Bloom! He's her designated side character love interest! He only exists to be with her. We don't need to treat this as a serious thing for him. The arranged marriage plot was never about him anyway. It was about giving Bloom a reason to have a darkest hour moment that moves the plot forward. Similarly, Sky calling off the marriage is nowhere near as important as him telling Bloom that he's called off the marriage to be with her in a grand romantic gesture.
This perfectly mirrors Miraculous' season five ending where Adrien doesn't appear until after Marinette is done fighting her big girl power fight against his father. As far as the writing is concerned, that fight isn't about him. His connection to the villain only really matters in terms of how it affects Marinette's actions during the final battle. Then, when the battle is over, Adrien shows up to give Marinette her big romance moment because, while the plot may be driven by Adrien's family, he is not a Winx club member. He's just a Specialist. Or, in the words of the head writer:
[image text: She's Barbie, he's Ken. You don't like it. I get it. It won't change. Anything else?] (The full, even more damning context of this tweet can be found here.)
What else can I say other than, "I rest my case."
Oh, and also that I didn't take this as an attack. I just thought it was a good opportunity to really dig into the nuances of this and what I was talking about in that original post as I never know how obvious this stuff is if you don't closely study story telling. As this case study hopefully shows, if a show is about a group of girl friends using the power of friendship, then their love interests may have important roles, but the boys are never going to be more important than the girls and most of the boy's screen time will be focused on romance and how their existence effects the girls because it's ultimately the girls' world. Without them, the show wouldn't exist. Without the boys? Well, then we just wouldn't have a romance plot.
#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#adrien deserves better#ml season 5 salt#btw I had no idea how well this example would work until I pulled up the Winx club scripts and started laughing#Like damn! I could not have picked a better one if I'd been actively looking to highlight what I was talking about!#I just picked the first one that came to mind#Thank you Winx for being textbook perfect in how Magical Girl Team Shows tend to handle these plots#Seriously go read through those transcripts! It's such a perfect example of what I'm talking about!#Look how everything about Sky is focused on Bloom even though he's the one breaking off an engagement and damaging his family relationships#Not saying this is poorly written btw I'm just pointing out the difference between writing a main character and a love interest#If Sky was a main character then we'd have gotten a lot more focus on him trying to pick a path for his future#But he's a love interest so his future is already written in stone and what's written there is a single word: Bloom#look! I can use his Twitter feed to make points too!#But I would never JUST use his Twitter feed#I only use it when there's backing in the actual text which there very much is here#Anyone want me to talk about what these plot lines would look like in a show where romance was top dog or is that obvious?
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s5 episode 20 thoughts
last episode of the season!!!
things have seemed… tense lately between my best friends mulder and scully. i hope they can work it out.
anyway, it says here that there is a boy with psychic powers… another child case. they deal with these so often!!!
but maybe he can unlock the secrets of the x files?? how?? i guess i will have to tune in!
post-episode thoughts: scully, i want to hug you. CSM, count your days. destroying information is a crime in my realm, and it will be punished with banishment. mulder, you need to learn how to talk about your feelings. i am no longer suggesting this politely. it must be done. now. skinner, you are the star on top of my metaphorical christmas tree. spender, my feelings towards you are pretty neutral.
we begin in vancouver, where a chess tournament is going on between a grown man and a child. there is a very large crowd and a guy who seems to be up to no good in the ceiling.
the kid hears voices in his head as this sniper loads up a bullet… can he figure out what is about to happen?? but the voices just sound like weird noises!!!
noooo, don’t kill this little boy!!! he wins just in time, stands up, and the bullet hits the other guy!!!
so he knew it was going to happen and won just in time to stand up…
leave this little boy alone!! don’t piss me off!!!
OHHH shortened intro AND new words on the screen today… “THE END” <- now there is a movie coming up shortly so i KNOW this is a lie!!!
i am preparing myself for some sort of cliffhanger….
ohohoho kryek is here today, according to the “guest starting” list…. getting ready for some rat-like activities
CSM is buttoning up his shirt as some people arrive upon his frosty property. they have guns… and his alarms are going off…
BLAM! he shoots one man dead right then and there!! you really cannot underestimate this guy!!! unless we’re talking about his abilities to write fiction!!!
so he’s running barefoot into the snow??? yowch! bloody feet!
the guy in the mask catches him! OH SHIT! IT’S KRYCEK!! “go on! take your shot, alex” <- HOT DAMN! not the first name usage!
he says he was sent to being CSM back…….. by whomst?
there is a sticky note on mulder’s poster. i can’t tell what it says!
OH mulder has a picture of him and scully pinned to his board🥹that's fine that's super fine and i'm not gonna cry!
it’s skinner poking around their office!!! what is he doing down here??
HE WANTS TO KNOW MULDER’S LONG TERM PLANS?! and mulder says they’re right in his hands, referring to the x files
skinner loves his most special and difficult agents. it's true!
“what do you hope to find? i mean, in the end” (mulder looks at skinner suspiciously) “whatever i hope to find is in here. and maybe i’ll know when i find it”
now what is going on…..? something is afoot. somehow i doubt skinner just got randomly curious and started reading through the x files for the funsies.
skinner has a case for him: the assassination of a russian chess player. and agent spender was put in charge of the case by someone from OUTSIDE the bureau!! oh, that must be what has skinner so freaked out. who tf is just putting people in charge of cases?
(i mean, we, the audience, know the answer to this. but if i were skinner, i would be deeply uncomfy at the thought)
“he was very specific that you be excluded” (mulder smiles) lmaoooo
skinner's messy for that!!! and i giggled!!!
BAHAHA scully is in the room listening to spender debrief, and when mulder walks in, spender looks SO mad!! “please continue”, mulder says, after spender gets so caught off guard by seeing him that he literally cannot finish his sentence
you can try to separate mulder and scully, but the universe will find a way to reunite them. like a bonded pair of kitties.
mulder asks him to rewind the tape and spender says basically no LMAOOO
“let me get through this, if you have any questions, we can talk later” “i-i don’t have any questions, no, i just think you’re wrong” <- LMAOOOOOO i’m at once giggling and cringing in second hand embarrassment
mulder hates this dude, i'm crying!!!!
scully asks wtf mulder is doing, and he explains he thinks the killer was aiming for the boy!! spender reluctantly does rewind the tape, and mulder points out that the kid pushes back right before the bullet is fired.
who is this random lady agreeing with mulder that the kid could sense the bullet coming…? he looks utterly shocked to hear her say this!!
and skinner says rewind it again so we can all see for ourselves LMAO everyone hates this spender mfer
(listen. sorry to this man, but i think it would also piss me off if some random guy got put in charge of an investigation because outside forces decreed it to be so)
sure enough, when spender rewinds the tape, the kid looks right at the camera!!! mulder turns to this random woman again in amazement
meanwhile, krycek is bringing CSM back to the syndicate on a random side street. OH SHIT!! CSM calls them out right then and there for trying to kill him LMAOOO
that had to be awkward as hell! i'm giggling
CSM moves on from that pretty fast. he seems like the type to hold grudges, so perhaps this is part of his secret plot for revenge.
the well-groomed man (and i know that isn’t his name, but i can’t remember what it actually is, and when i tried to google it last time i got spoilers so: to me, he is WGM) says: the boy is a problem to us!! and i say: leave him alone!! let him play chess!!
CSM offers to kill the kid and well-groomed man says “dear god”... umm, well y’all were just trying to do that, so why now are we getting squeamish...!!!
this other dude is called “first elder” by the subtitles! good to know
CSM says he’ll do it… and walks off.
so this lady that was sticking up for mulder is named agent fowley, and scully is making polite small talk as mulder drives them... somewhere. she requested reassignment. hmm…
“1991, that’s about when you started work on the x files”, scully points out. “more or less, yeah”, mulder says. and does not elaborate.
(long lingering eye contact between mulder and fowley)
now… is this woman who i think she is……?
the boy (named gibson) is watching the simpsons. OH SHIT!!! “my name is fox… this is dana and diana”
SHE IS WHO I THOUGHT SHE WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh man. oh man. okay, so i know a tiny bit about this. going bonkers rn.
what i DO know is enough to realize that diana is a controversial topic among the fandom, but i vow to speak my truth. as i always do. and i hope you will treat me with the grace you typically have afforded me.
gibson says he lives in the philippines, that mulder has a dirty mind, and he does NOT want to play any chess. yes, he truly is a psychic.
scully is like wtf is he going on about…. and mulder accuses the boy of being able to read minds
“i know what’s on your mind. i know you’re thinking about one of the girls you brought” (mildly amused scully look) “one of them’s thinking about you”
diana laughs and asks which one… gibson says mulder doesn’t want him to say.
(shakes head) hey! what’s going on?
mulder declares that gibson needs around the clock protection
oh, a canon-typical fight in the hallway between our agents on if this is possible or not… diana is listening in…. “you know what to do, diana”, mulder says before leaving <- hey. i don’t like that. the tone with which he speaks nor the implication of there being some pre-scully lilith-like figure.
“so you two know each other”, scully points out. “it was along time ago” (long lingering scully glance)
OHHHH spender is NOT letting mulder talk to the assassin… “you’re insulting me when you should be taking notes”, he says <- DAMN!!! the ego on this man! he isn't entirely wrong, but there is no humility about him!
he pushes past spender and gets into the cell, where the shooter claims spender hasn’t given him food or water. mulder orders him off to go get some.
ohhh he’s playing hardball… he tells the dude that he’ll tell spender he fessed up to the kid being psychic… and if he cooperates with him, maybe he can get him into the witness protection program… does mulder hold this kind of influence?
mulder steals the food that was being brought for him. mulder! you're being a dick! on many fronts!
AWWW, scully and gibson are holding hands as she walks him down the hall :( he didn’t like the tests! poor kid! and he says scully’s wondering about “that other girl” and “she’s wondering about you, too”
hey…. i get the sense we are pitting two bad bitches against each other via this little boy's mind reading. not a narrative choice i am fond of.
now a group of people are testing gibson for psychic abilities by holding up cards only they can see.
diana says she’s seen clairvoyants, but never of this skill level. she says she spent time with mulder is psychiatric hospitals?? scully.exe is not working
she has to leave because she is weirded tf out…
(i don't blame her, though. i would also be very weirded out if my partner of 5 years had another partner he very evidently has a history with and never bothered to mention until she suddenly materialized. if i were scully, i'd be like hey mulder... remember all those times i tended to your wounds and held your sobbing body and broke the law for you? yeah, that was super cool. i love how we trust each other. anyway, wtf else are you hiding from me?)
((and i'm not saying that is necessarily the RIGHT or RATIONAL thing to feel, but c'mon. you can't look at me and tell me you wouldn't also be equal parts stung and curious))
shooter guy is being handed a note. it’s on a cigarette pack!!! and it says "you’re a dead man"!!! oh brother... not the CSM on the loose! how is he getting into these buildings still?!?!
LMAOOO???? WHAT IS SCULLY DOING WITH FROHIKE?!?!
look at her looking up into his camera system... she is just so PRETTY!!
bro is in his pajamas and has an absurd number of locks on his door. and i'm giggling!
she’s bringing the whole crew scans of gibson’s brain!! “and you want us to what?��� “analyze the data. with an eye to the parapsychological” <- OHHH they’re gagged by that... and i am too! scully opening herself up to extreme possibilities?! or simply trying to anticipate and counter mulder's argument in favor of the kid's clairvoyance?
OHHHH.... SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHO TF DIANA IS LMAOOOOO
i can’t tell if she’s jealous, or nosy, or both. but i can tell you that i love when scully is nosy.
frohike says she was mulder’s “chickadee” (LMAO, crazy phrasing) out of the academy. she was with him when he discovered the x files. and she has some sort of background in parascience. whatever that means.
NOOOOO scully looks so sad 💔💔💔 MULDER, DON’T HIDE THINGS FROM HER!!! SHE’LL CRY
stop. stop!!!
gibson is watching cartoons while diana watches him. and here comes mulder. OH, she called him fox. don’t like that. i thought he was adamantly anti-being referred to as fox! is that a development from the past 5 years, or does she not care about what he thinks?
“i sense you could have used an ally, though- someone who thinks like you, with some background” HEY. WATCH HOW YOU TALK ABOUT SCULLY!!!
“oh, you mean scully?” now is that defensiveness i see in his eyes? he doesn’t sound like he’s laughing.
“she’s not what i’d call an open mind on the subject” <- well, diana, you don’t even know her!!! and just because you're right doesn't mean you should go around judging her!
he laughs, but it doesn’t feel like he really means it….
(i was trying to psychoanalyze everything in this godforsaken scene and i had NO idea what the vibe actually was LMAOOOO)
“she’s a, uh… she’s a scientist. she just makes me work for everything” <- HEY!!! what happened to her being “rigid, but in a wonderful way”??? defend her honor in her absence!
“yes, but i’m… i’m sure there were times when two like minds on a case would have been advantageous” <- well girl, from what i've heard, it sounds like you left and went to germany!
“i’ve done okay without you” okay. are we setting boundaries now? is this progress?
NO. it does not appear that this is the case. she is grabbing his hand. “hey. i’m on your side” side eye. from me. sounds like she is implying scully is NOT on his side, which i loathe. and please don’t kiss... i don’t want to see all that.
where is scully going….? OH NO!!! she walked by and saw them holding hands!!
oh my god, she is leaving….. and i don’t blame her!!
the sad music!!!! stop!!!!! look at her sadly getting in her car!!!!! sadly staring at the wheel!!! sadly buckling up!!!!
she sounds like she’s going to cry as she calls mulder and says she wants to show him something. and she doesn't want to show it to him there.
now why is agent spender rolling up as she heads out?! we have enough problems to deal with at this time that aren’t him!!!
OH SHIT!!! CSM IS TALKING TO HIM!!!! saying he gave him the case!!!!
he’s trying to give him some fatherly advice despite the fact this dude has no idea they are related. “you’re a bright boy” okay… well that is certainly an avuncular thing to say. perhaps uncomfortably so when coming from a guy you literally just met. “know which men to sacrifice and when” <- now that's some standard CSM advice.
OH SHIT!!!!!!! MULDER SEES HIM!! CSM retreats into the shadows. “i was told he was dead”, mulder pants. “well obviously whoever it is, he’s not” spender has literally no idea who tf this guy is………..
(laughing even harder at his response as i edit my notes. spender must think this mulder fellow is the weirdest dude alive)
i’m kinda laughing, because spender has no idea wtf is going on, while mulder’s world just got rocked upside down and inside out. that’s the devil that killed his dad and took his scully and killed scully’s sister!!! he thought the evil was defeated and it is back!!! poor spender is just here to chat with a stranger. he truly doesn't know anything about the situation! it's comical!
scully and mulder and all of spender’s team are in skinner’s office!!! she has the brain test results from gibson… and she is finding the results hard to believe…
something something about him having intense brain activity in the god something or other. maybe he is the next einstein??? well, that would be cool! yeah, get the little boy into nuclear physics!
but mulder thinks that maybe this intense brain activity will allow him to also explain all sorts of unexplained phenomena.
i guess i can see the correlation between intense brain activity and psychic abilities, but how will it let him explore the jersey devil?
mulder proposes giving the killer immunity to explain wtf is going on, which spender immediately shoots down: “you want to give a murderer a free ride for the secrets to the pyramids?” <- well that is an oversimplification!
ANGRY SCULLY!!! “you mischaracterize what i’ve said” <- GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME!! “this would be quantifiable scientific proof of everything that agent mulder and i have investigated over the past five years”
i don’t really see the correlation from a plot perspective but okay ❤️ yay ❤️
oh diana, i am suspicious of you…. “how do you quantify the spiritual? it can’t be done. you ask for immunity for a killer on that basis, the attorney general’s gonna go off. you’re allowed to investigate the x files as an indulgence. but draw the wrong kind of attention and they’ll close you down”
okay………… rude. but not necessarily wrong. in fact, she seems quite right, at least about the attorney general shutting down the case part. clearly, some levels of spirituality can be quantified if the results show up on brain scans; scully will use science to find a way. scully glances at mulder, who is staring at diana
“put an end to all your work. something i happen to have an interest in myself” WELL NO ONE ASKED???? girl! it isn't your project!!
perhaps i am the one who will need immunity from the attorney general as i bravely ask the question i am thinking: am i bad feminist, or is diana supposed to piss me off?
scully’s watching mulder stare at diana……. skinner says, everyone go take a break. but you may absolutely NOT leave my office, mulder.
he says that diana is right. if they poke around too much they’ll get shut down- but mulder is willing to risk it!!!!!
“if what agent scully’s found is true- and i have every reason to believe that it is- then the answers i might have spent a lifetime searching for may fall together like a million puzzle pieces” <- OHH!! FAITH IN SCULLY!! FAITH IN SCULLY GIVING HIM THE TRUTH!
“you’d risk the x files?”, asks skinner.
“how soon can you call the attorney general?”
so, there is your answer.
mulder is always having some sort of power struggle with skinner. hey. can mulder, buddy. can we use a "please" and "thank you" every now and then? your old pal skinner has put up with a LOT of your nonsense!
bro is in his cranky era.
ohhhh, so he goes and tell the shooter that he gave his request for immunity, but the attorney general needs more information before she can make a decision… “i need answers from you” UH OH!! will he have them before CSM breaks in? because we know he is stalking his prey!
he says the kid is a missing link; he’s genetic proof. spender wants to know of what, and this is very convenient, because so do i. so he thinks the kid is part alien….. spender is heckling him for this. but CSM is on the prowl… we don't have time for interpersonal conflict!
(so, maybe he's part alien but distantly? or maybe they made one of the alien hybrids like emily, but this one didn't die? why did emily die, again? because we know there are plenty others of the alien hybrids because they had that whole bit about saving "their mothers" back in... i think it was s3? maybe a bunch of them, like emily, die, but some of them do survive, and gibson is a son of the half alien? so he is a quarter alien? or maybe he is from a different alien race?
everything is a bit foggy when it comes to mytharc, i suppose. i guess it all comes down to the writers wanting to torture my best friend agent scully)
well-groomed man and krycek pull up to heckle CSM, which is an important part of their job description. they’re saying he failed them, but CSM says it’s all part of the plan. take their pieces one by one.
hey, you’re gonna kill the kid, aren’t you?
at least JFK was a grown man!!!
do you think he bulk ordered the cigarettes from like, the cigarette equivalent of sam’s club, and had them sent to his snowy canadian hideaway? i mean, the number he goes through, it should have raised some red flags for the people trying to find him!
scully is watching the boy watch cartoons. she is pondering.
“how do you do it?” “i just hear you thinking… like on a radio. and sometimes there are lots of radios, and i want to shut them off and watch some TV” <- you know what, that is entirely understandably.
gibson says that scully doesn’t care what other people think… “except for her. the other one”
is she trying to impress diana…..? has she moved beyond vying for people's approval after the horrors of cancer and emily, or is it manifesting in a new way as she hopes this mysterious figure from mulder's past will approve of her? does she think that if diana likes her, mulder will let her in about his past? does she feel a solidarity despite their differences in belief because of the fact they are both women in a male-dominated field?
the implications... i must explore them.
ah. and in diana comes.
scully says they’ll talk about that stuff later. queen of knowing the time and place to have a debrief. and he says “they want to kill me” OHHH poor little gibson :( just let him watch cartoons!
scully promises no one will hurt him :( and he says “i know you do" :(
is diana going to kill the kid…..?
(author's note: LMAO!! listen... i thought they were going with the double agent angle for about 2 minutes. in my defense, i'm still shocked from the whole krycek and marita thing, so i'm trying to expect the unexpected. this is not the most wildly incorrect plot point i have guessed!)
the shooter gets another note… this time it’s an empty cigarette carton, and BAM!!! CSM SHOOTS HIM!!!
well. there goes any possibility of an explanation.
diana fell asleep watching gibson and he’s looking out the window!!! he says there’s a man with a gun!!! and he says he’s aiming at her!!!! and BAM!! she gets shot too!!
hey guys! once again i ask what’s going on.
mulder and scully are pulling in while diana gets taken into an ambulance. and mulder’s grasping her hand while scully just wants to know where tf the kid is!!!!
the shooter was killed!!! skinner shows mulder the cigarette carton!!!!!
NOOOO!! CSM has the boy and is bringing him to the well-groomed man. gibson called him a liar when he said he won't get hurt.
“you’ve never had the stomach for our business”
“just not for your practices”
“i’m a necessity. the complement to your cowardice” <- omggg……..
the dichotomy between CSM and well-groomed man... were the girls writing old man yaoi back when this aired? because i bet they would if this show dropped now.
(i was about to joke that if we all work really hard now, we can make that ship trend, but how tf can you write romantic fanfiction between two nameless characters? yeesh. that has to be a pain. "the well-groomed man moved in closer towards the cigarette smoking man, inhaling his burnt, acidic scent; he knew he was as bad for him as the cancer coursing through the other man's bloodstream" <- yeah, i didn't enjoy typing that, and it isn't fun to read either)
“your work is done now” SO WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO TO THE BOY???
“my work is just beginning” nope. do not like that.
well-groomed man leads gibson into the car driven by krycek, who says he has a nice straight shot at CSM!!! but well-groomed man says not to shoot. you may need him in the future.
krycek is the last man i would trust with a child.
WOAHHHHH mulder is ATTACKING SPENDER saying he will get him PROSECUTED FOR MURDER!!! “you’re wrong, agent mulder, it’s your days that are numbered” <- NOW WHAT DOES *THAT* MEAN??
is he collaborating with daddy to kill mulder or lead him down an incredibly intricate path leading to his peril?!?
NOOOOO, skinner is on the phone with scully in mulder’s apartment 💔 spender is going after mulder and there are talks of reassignment!
his first question when she gets off of the phone is about diana….
NOOO, the justice department wants to close down the x files 💔💔
mulder says this is all part of plan he couldn’t see and walked into
“this time they may have won” NOOOOO💔💔💔💔you have to find some faith!
CSM is in mulder’s office………. looking at the files….. PICKING OUT THE ONE ON SAMANTHA………… WHERE IS HE TAKING IT???
TO SPENDER?!! “who are you?” “i’m your father” <- YOOO, I DIDN’T THINK HE WOULD JUST OUT AND SAY IT??
DID HE LIGHT ALL THE OTHER FILES ON FIRE???
HOLY HELL, HE DID???
mulder is here in his t shirt and scully is here in a lab coat and they find their whole office burnt to a crisp!!!!
she grabs his arms and leans in, putting her head on his chest as he looks around in fury
woah…. woaugh……….
the end.
CSM ruined the work of their whole lives!!!
this is why archivists are so important. because they always keep files saved on at least 3 sources. inshallah the good FBI archivists had them on a bunch of floppy disks. please please please.
(i started to type “on a bunch of flash drives”, but then i realized idk if those were popular, effective, or invented at the time. and a floppy disk really couldn’t hold much. maybe there is a huge cardboard box in one of the back rooms with all of them backed up! i like the ones that were colorful!)
well, now there’s a damn movie i need to watch!!! but first i have to get all of my s5 content sorted out!!!!
i have many questions. i have a terrible feeling that poor boy is gonna end up another sacrificial lamb. and i know that CSM saved the file on samantha to keep the fire burning beneath mulder, just enough so he meets his dastardly plans. damn. this guy really is an evil genius. which does not translate to literary talent.
what is spender going to do? is he going to believe that CSM is his father? will he follow him in dastardly deeds, or will he reject them? i mean, he sure isn't a believer in aliens like mulder is, so learning his father is basically a diplomat to the alien people isn't going to go over well. or is he going to stand up to daddy and save the day, probably nobly sacrificing himself in the process?
what about scully? i just KNOW she blames herself for gibson getting kidnapped because she promised him he would be safe, and she's all torn up about mulder hiding things from her!!! poor scully!
and mulder, what is he going to do about the reappearance of diana and then her sudden death or near-death? will he stop being so cranky anytime soon? it doesn't seem likely, but a girl can hope.
and i wanna know what is going through skinner's mind, too. because he really is like an uncle to me. i remember my earlier posts about not trusting him, and i think that narrative was intentionally cultivated by the writers, but now i'm thinking, man. that's my ride or die. skinner, i should have never doubted you. not only that, i love your little house buddha and desk globes and i wish i could slap mulder across the face for the way he acts towards you!
well, i have a lot of work to do with the s5 wrapups before i can dive into this film, and so work i must. and perhaps i will save the film for next weekend when i can focus appropriate attention.
i also expect that the movie writeup will be VERY LONG. and my writeups are already SO LONG. i tossed around the idea of splitting it up into parts, but i think it will be better to just do it all in one go. unless there is a very clear midpoint spot where i can divide the post in two, which i doubt???
will diana grow on me? will the movie be enjoyable? will scully get a damn break? will CSM and WGM kiss? will krycek continue to be a problematic bisexual?
hmm. well, stay tuned, and share all of your thoughts!
#mulder is being emo because he's in one of his Moods and scully is being emo because mulder keeps secrets#gibson is sitting there like damn. i don't wanna know all of your drama. please let me watch king of the hill.#and you do have to respect him for having his priorities straight#i hope some conflict is resolved in this film. i hope conversations are had about feelings#i once made a post on my main account about how too many action movies use “the world is gonna blow up!” as the high stakes#instead of cultivating the relationships between the characters that cause the audience to even give a damn IF the world is to blow up#why should i care if the world is gonna explode if the characters that need to stop the exploding are flat and have no growth?#an honest conversation between two characters that expresses their emotional investment in each other is what will make me care#if the world blows up or not. not high stakes for the sake of high stakes. NO. THAT DOES NOT WORK!#but high stakes as they relate to our characters having something to lose is what works. something worth fighting for. you feel me?#i worded that post really well back when i made it sometime last year and of course it was about an entirely separate thing#but i find that can happen a lot in action movies. hopefully it won't happen here though! i have faith.#i'll have to dig that post up now because i want proof that once upon a time i was articulate#anyway!!! dun dun dun! final boss music is playing as we approach the FILM!#but don't get too excited! i have to make all my other s5 wrapup posts first!#juni's x files liveblog#5x20#the x files#txf
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oh also also, baghera getting increasingly french at the end of the timer was so fucking funny and i love her so much, like when her and phil fought and phil killed her and her accent thickened until she abandoned words and made french noises CHEF'S KISS reminds me of when she played outlast w cellbit slime and jaiden and got progressively more french as the night wore on, genuinely had a blast hearing her progressively dropping more and more swears in french
also reminds me of something i THINK i remember, think it was her who said during brazil she kept accidentally speaking french to people because of how close she felt to them
#qsmp#baghera jones#debated on making this post bc i wasn't sure if people would think i was making fun? i'm not trying to; to be clear#it's something i've noticed w baghera in particular and really really love#(personally i trend to a southern drawl; i am not from the american south)#i genuinely really like it#idk if your first language is french and you think this is disrespectful i'll delete it just say the word#mine is english so idk how shitty we can be :( i know we can be awful#((tbh i usually kick Myself if i can't understand an accent bc i'm the damn native speaker i should be good at this language))#((like this is My Fault for not parsing i'm the one who knows what these words MEAN; COME ON))#these went on a tangent but in my defense it's technically 4 am here (daylight savings)#also i was watching team red. the entire event. and then until this very moment.#this speaks for itself i think#shut up vic#block game brainrot
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the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet
#not art#have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating#gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain#very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be#translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to#he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it#kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too#and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit#man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts#that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces#thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does#love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you#he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really#until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but#just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force#its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like#they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win#but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules
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jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesn’t want to do anything coach might disagree with…….
#‘coach trusts me…’ like what if i cried#man i wish they made more of a thing of jay being TEAM CAPTAIN#<- i’ve made a post before abt how easily he gives it up & jay not liking positions of power etc etc#but i do think he treats the role like it could be taken away at any moment#coach TRUSTS him. holy shit coach trusts him#the first positive adult figure in his life trusts him to take care of the team#train them and critique them and lead them to victory#and coach probably wouldn’t have cared abt lonnie being on the team#but jay is sooooo hesitant to ask#coming from the ‘if you want it take it and if you can’t take it break it’ guy#like this is the one thing he doesn’t want to risk breaking…….#and then obviously he gives it up!!!!!#he gives up the thing coach TRUSTED HIM WITH bc it was the only way to let lonnie on the team#& mr ‘my only dislike is women being unhappy’ was like I CANNOT REST UNTIL LONNIE IS ON THE TEAM#it’s suchhhhh a sweet gesture not only from a hashtag feminism standpoint#but also character wise for jay#like this precious thing that coach has trusted him with but didn’t really want that much anyway…..#it’s going to mean more to lonnie if she had it. even though it means everything to jay#oh it makes me crazy#damn my mum was right. i think too deeply about things#im like i analyse things a normal amount and then i’m writing essays about 1 line from descendants 2#I AM UNWELL#anyway. jesus christ#descendants#jay son of jafar#EDIT i’m not finished actually#do you think jay fears the repercussions? what would happen if he went against coach’s word?#bc sure. he knows coach is nice. he knows auradon isn’t like the isle#but. ‘you don’t want to be at my house at dinner time’…….#he is still scared of his dad. you know. he can never get the lamp he can never do anything right
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The whole ending for the main timeline kinda sucks for Zaun, even the one good thing they get is backhanded as fuck.
Like sure, Sevika is on the council- but the council relies on majority vote, and every other member of the council only work in the interests of themselves or of piltover. Nobody else cares about Zaun, so nothing will change.
And Piltover shows they will alway protect and prioritize their own over everything else
Cait gets no consequences for her actions from the last two acts, despite doing many, many crimes. She released the Gray on the Undercity- which is going to cause disease, death, etc to many innocent people (the same disease Viktor was dying of, it was a direct result of Piltover’s oppression and the gray- I could go on and on about his ending but I shan’t.), arresting random Zaunites- including children- and just leaving them in prison, and even tho we hate Singed, threatening to throw him under the fucking prison was a little far. She gave him the opportunity to either join her or die. So the people of Zaun are animals and criminals until they’re useful?
And the scene of the Noxian guy (can’t remember his name) literally torturing that Jinxer??? Ambassa’s dead and so is he, so I guess thats their consequence, but nothing for Cait? No, Cait gets to have a nice life, she might feel guilty and maybe she’ll have a couple nightmares but really she’s not facing a single consequences You guys remember when Jayce almost got exiled for Hextech in season one? A crime in which nobody died or was grievously harmed? Yet there are no consequences Caitlyn hmmm
After everything the people of Zaun have gone through, they get nothing- they see their oppressor hailed as a hero, they see their children die of a disease that should never have touched the new generation (or just straight up suffocate while it was actively being deployed- if they get caught in that they are dead- little lungs and little legs yk- if they can’t escape it then they die) they see their only hope (Sevika) repeatedly shot down by the council, they see the abuse will continue. Even after everything they lost- all those who fought in Piltovers war- they get nothing. They helped, they worked with them when working against them didn’t work, and they still get nothing.
I think Ekko’s ending really drives it home- the ONE character who deserves the world above everybody else is sitting alone in the end. He did everything right but was still alone. If he -and Jinx- hadn’t rallied their forces and convinced the people of Zaun to fight then Piltover would have lost to Noxius. He convinced his people to fight and die for Piltover- but Cait’s the hero, and he’s still fighting for his own people.
#I have a friend#and we were talking about if we were in arcane where would we be#I said Zaun- being poor + queer + POC + having experienced police brutality and racism-classism first hand#they said piltover#and I remembered we came from two entirely different words#when I said ‘damn siding with the oppressors’ they said ‘no just the money and nice clothes and hextech seem cool lol’#they don’t see that the reason they have those things is because they are the ruling class#they have what they have because they are the oppressors#they are privileged- my friend- so they can’t relate to Zaun#they have never had to go hungry- to worry about having a place to live- to worry about anything#they can not relate to struggling- to fighting for your life and fighting those who hate you but just existing#to being twelve years old pinned to the wall by cops#they’ve never lived on the street#everything was handed to them- so they side with piltover- because that’s who they see themselves in#just wanted to add that- in case anyone was wondering why some people defend piltover and Cait so much ^#I love arcane#but fucking Christ that ending was so bleak#(also Cait fans being extremely racist to Ekko’s voice actor…yeah I see why y’all like her)#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane#arcane ekko#arcane caitlyn#arcane zaun#arcane piltover#Ik this is my freaky blog but I had to speak my truth somewhere#number one jinx defender btw#so what if she blew up the people that were oppressing her and her city and tried to get HER FATHER to turn her in#I don’t give a fuck about nobody in Piltover AT ALL#I think that little factoid is forgotten#that piltover- Jayce- tried to get Silco to trade lives- his daughter for the people of Zaun
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Wake up somewhere better, maybe (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Harvey Dent#ZEX#Blood#Ask to tag#Stepping back even further - I'm sure you can understand needing a little extra time on this#For multiple reasons haha#It took such a while to finish the first one and not just on an editing front! Honestly that didn't take very long at all haha#There's a frame somewhere that's bothering me - I ''animated'' that movement frame-by-frame myself so if it's a bit strange it's my eye#At least it's mostly like what I wanted! Mostly like what I saw in my head! The three overlapping and then drawing back to show the depth#It really was such a strong mental image for me - it's amazing how simultaneous things can be despite being described separately#The dog - Harvey - ZEX - all moving at their own pace! A split second can be so expanded like a slow-mo shot ah#It's honestly a very beautiful medium#Hhhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I so very much wanted him to go out the way he wanted to#Befitting his Admiral status - strong and confident and surrounded by his crew#But by that point he was so tired and ready to rest - it would have been sadder to watch him continue to barely scrape by#Not even killed by his Beauty! Just one good chomp from one big sick dog :'0#The others trying to protect him - they didn't know him just out of whatever empathy they had for their fellow!#Zero was a hero so that kind of character is easy enough haha but even Harvey! Even after ZEX made him uncomfortable with his long looks lol#He was still willing to help in whatever way he was able ;; And it still ended the same#His last word being just ''pain'' hhhwehhh ;;#It is always the saddest-saddest to me to have such an articulate and eloquent witty verbose and silly character reduced to singulars#Something so simple and still so expressive hh </3 ZEX dearest hweh#But loving also means letting go! Death was a release he needed even if it's sad#I'm a real sucker for Meet Me In The Afterlife kind of stories so I may or may not have batted that around as an idea down the line#He has plenty of loved ones that have seen the other side - even from the Institute specifically!!#It's not exactly a happy ending but it's something <3
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cant believe i reached 30 tags in prev post rambling about homestuck i didnt even know there was a limit
#i usually save word diarrhea for twitter but hope someone enjoys the huge dump i took here for once#anyways tldr homestuck orv and taz are all special stories to me in kind of similar ways#that i would elaborate on if i thought i could piece together my words that would entice people rather than scare them off lmao#so i'll just say IT's COOL.. I SWEAR#and also genshin which is an outlier i suppose bc its the only capital P Popular thing#but i'd also put genshin w those first three stories in terms of how interesting i find their storytelling methods and narrative themes#i love the pockets of genshin fandom that are ppl obsessing over fragments of lore and making big conspiracy boards#i dont really interact w main genshin fandom but i like peeking at the other pockets haha. like the people investigating khaenri'ah lore..#very cool.. and people invested in sumeru gang. the sumeru characters are so interesting#whole city of eccentrics you can bash together and examine#i'm scara and childe fan forever idk what they did to my brain but i think they were a psyop#made specifically in ways they knew would target me and the things i like damn ‼️#someone at genshin HQ put crack in these guys and i cant stop drawing them and coming up w ideas to draw my beautiful muses that ruined me
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what i will say is that i think a very big issue for me right now with my appearance is just that due to stress and i guess just time, i feel like i have very visibly aged and probably look older than my age. and inherently there is nothing wrong with that but i kind of wish i could still pass off as young enough that when i say i haven’t really done anything with my life or anything, people are understanding and say that i still have time. i don’t know, i just feel like i am out of time
#i know technically there is time forever and stuff but people sort of stop caring or being understanding#the older you get the more alone you get and the less acceptable it is for things not to be going somewhere#but it is kind of hard for me to see that as someone that has always been pretty alone and without anyone to kind of look out for me#i think what i mean is i am out of time for anyone to kind of be looking out for me#and obviously i am 24 that has been the case for at least a few years now technically#and i can look out for myself#but i just kind of wish it wasn’t the case. i don’t know#i have a whole complex about this and i think people that know think it is just vanity but its not#but on a vanity/superficial aspect- i only just finally settled into clothing i like about a year ago! i want more time for it to not be#too weird for me to not be dressing normal!#also i think this is the first time i have been anle to articulate this in words. and it is on tumblr. the website. of all damn places#ALSO this is long now but clarifying that a part of this is also being very very aroace#i know some people can find a sense of family or feeling cared for by finding a partner. i do not want that. at all#which screws me over even further
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okay I'm going to be so honest rn but like...why do packs even exist????
i love their dynamic and allat but like??? what do you even need it for??? the shaw pack is basically just a group of really close coworkers who also choose to call this one guy their alpha and listen to his every word??? because of his dad??? huh???
also are there packs for other animal shifters or are the wolf ones just freaky like that???
#redactedverse#redacted david#redacted asher#redacted milo#shaw pack#late night thoughts#i thought about this during the first david comfort audio#when he said sum about an alphas words or something#and i got an epiphany#also also#i can never understand how asher is genuinely okay with unironically being called a beta#I KNOW they know about the memes#so HOW does he do it without collapsing into tears#ALSO ALSO ALSO#sorry yall#but do you think asher has ever done that damn 'how alphas walk' thing around david#because i do😋#sorry for clogging up the tags like this
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Fun fact: An Old English word for spider was gangwīfre and not saying that Jirt probably took a look at that word and went: "Ah yes Ungoliant" and proceeded to make his spiders into giant girlbosses but he certainly did
#also idk if that even is the right use of the word girlboss but I don't really give a damn lmao#can you tell that this was the first thought I had when I learned about gangwīfre in my lecture today?? can you???#emas and emilys dumb midnight talk#for good measure because ema convinced me to make this a post#tolkien#ungoliant
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I love luffy and how his stupid face comes out when he is having the most truthful realizations about someone's inner being like damn
#like zeff doesnt say A WORD and luffy is telling sanji that death doesnt repay debts and this is not why he saved you#goddamn#also now that i am thinking they skipped all of this in the live action.... and fit it absolutely nowhere i think...... damn no wonder sanji#is the way he is there xd#i dont remember gin crying damn#the thing about the first half of one piece is that most of the time we are seeing luffy from an putside persepctive i think#but not really bc most times in the manga at least you can tell how he reacts and notices things but at first is subtle#and then marineford arrives (or dare i say the end of sabaody) and you can see luffy open up like a book and its such an experience#don krieg calls him monkey so many times it is starting to sound like an insult akfjsksk#not me crying because luffy smiles in one singular panel when sanji is saying goodbye to zeff...... god#chapter 68
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>go on twitter
>Twitter people spouting "freedom is the right of all sentient beings"
That includes people you don't like guys💀
#twitter could make optimus suicidal#i place $20 on that#wait why is this fandom in drama all the damn time#at any given moment theres some sorry group of mfs trying to wage war another minor cult with their own bnf artist diety#have no fear! a long time ago i made a twitter extension that gets rid of all posts in english#its still compatible with current api. i either called it NoEngTwitter or BS Begone. whatever it was. its time#i think i made a version where i added all the languages i know so i can just look at posts i dint understand so i can stay happy#actually im lying its not just twitter with the drama. i see the exact same posts here word for word. on god can yall shut up.#first time so good i had to do it twice NO YOU DONT#recommended for yo-- NO!!!!!!! SHUT UP
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I want SO BADLY to make some random long pdbc comic rn but NOOOOO apparently I can’t just snap my fingers and have one appear in front of me. i would need to “”””plan it out”””” and “””sketch””” it and “””do the line art””” and “””color””” it and “””shade””” it and “””rewrite it so many times to the point it’s not flowing naturally at all and oh no this was a bad idea why did I think I could ever do this properly”””
#hey guys just pretend this post is a really funny comic or something#because it’s gonna Be A While#need to get over this art block first and foremost#THEN I need to actually design characters ewww wdym I can’t just keep rolling with the characters I was handed on a silver platter :((#and THEN I need to string together a coherent snippet of a narrative from the. let me check#from the fucking 513580 words of notes I have#holy hell I didn’t think it was that high I think that’s a couple 10ks away from being as long as war and peace lmao#full disclosure I think over half of that is just aimless rambling and not actually. developed lore#considering that pdbc is honestly very undercooked as a whole. im gonna try an fix that. thats my New Year’s resolution. try to patch it up#but my point is it’s SO hard to fish through all that to find a single lore piece I wrote somewhere#hmmm did I ever mention a single detail about wheezer? bring out the ancient texts#yeah so anyway forgive me for my lack of pumpkin daddy content gourd lovers. he’ll be here eventually#I was gonna actually try to write a cohesive PDBC timeline but then Stuff Happened#and by stuff I mean. I was given permission to do whatever I wanted with finch and Immediately dropped everything to go mad with power#the narrative has never recovered from that. it’s too much fun to say whatever the hell you want and have it be canon yknow?#I’m just rambling.yall know you would do the same thing if you were given your favorite character……..#like damn I can do whatever I want with him. awesome#anyway thank you for reading my crazed ramblings about the most muddied underdeveloped narrative of all time <333#pdbc
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i will never forget the time I was hanging out with two other people who were new friends and they were like "let's do a sonic fandub" and one of them started looking up sonic game footage on youtube for us to dub while we discussed who would speak for who and we decided I'd voice tails. But also I knew nothing about sonic at the time, i'd only seen the snapcube fandubs because I'd heard they were good and funny, I didn't know the plot or characters very well. I couldn't remember what they sounded like so while the other two started to say silly things in sonic and amy's voices I asked "what does tails sound like again?" And I was laughing because I was embarrassed and also shocked by how quickly they had started commiting to the bit of trying to do some voice acting and my friend just said "he sounds like a twink" and I could not stop laughing and I could not take the idea seriously and I just told them that I couldn't do the voice oops. And so we moved onto a different topic pretty quickly and just enjoyed the pizza we had while we waited for our other three friends to get back from the store
anyways all of this is to say that Tails is NOT a twink, he is an 8 year old little boy and my friend was misguided.
#Can you tell that I'm mentally unwell and also that I had a falling out with these friends and also that I miss them dearly#I actually went to see the sonic 3 movie today on christmas day and I saw a group of people that I know- one guy in the group was one of#The three that was at the store while we were doing the dub. I had a falling out with all five of those friends after that.#That day was really great. It was like a year ago now. I feel like that was the first time where I was really vulnerable with friends#And I had never been so honest about my interests and thoughts before with a group of people and it. It was nice. But after that day it...#I think it was all my fault. Or at least mostly my fault. I was honest with them but no one else#So I couldn't accept the truth of myself and I wasn't ready for everyone i know to know me that way so I tried to hide it and ignore it#And in doing so I stopped being honest with them and I started avoiding them. And I regret it. I could have just been a weirdo with them#I could have spent every tuesday afternoon hanging out and talking about life with them over pizza. But instead I ran away.#And of course they kept asking about me and wondering why I was being weird but I couldn't face it. And I kept running away#And they kept trying to chase after me. I even left for like two months and completely went no contact and no explanation#But then I came back because I had nowhere else to go and it... it was so awkward. It was too much. And now I'm overthinking#everything. I was so jealous of them. All of them. And when I got to be friend with them it was too much for me. My brain couldn't accept i#I'm not allowed to be happy unless it's in secret. That's what my brain thinks#That's the mantra I've been living by recently. For like the past 3-5 years. That's just how I was raised I suppose#Um. Oops I ranted too much in the tags. Sorry if you read all of this. But also thank you if you did. I hope you're well#Rant in tags#rant#personal#Why is this literally just my journal. Goodness gracious#I'm so sorry. Everything I post here is like completely dumb and irrelevant and stupid and pointless and matters very little.#I am just mentally unwell and I can barely think clearly. I am sorry. I hope you look elsewhere for actually important or meaningful words#Dang I just had a dramatic soundtrack melody start playing in my head but I have no idea where this song is from or what it's called. Damn
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