#Finally I can use the stuff I learned at uni

[teamtardis-notdead]

"All that matters is order vs chaos"

That quote summaries one of the most prominent themes of this season.

Sylvie and Renslayer stand in a direct opposition to each other. They literally have been defined by the show as the representations of order and chaos.

What is interesting is that Loki and Mobius seem to be a parellel of the same theme to a lesser extent. Loki tends naturally to be drawn to chaos but has learned to "take a look at the bigger picture" and let order rule from time to time. Mobius on the other hand gets naturally drawn to order but he appreciates and understand the need for chaos.

Both Renslayer and Sylvie judge Loki and Mobius for their duality. Sylvie seems rather disappointed in Lokis compliance with the TVA while Renslayer thinks that Mobius doesn't has it in himself to lead and make hard decision. She has called him more than once a "coward".

This makes me believe that the main conflict isn't necessarily between Loki/Mobius and He Who​ Remains, but rather between Sylvie and Renslayer and the Chaos they will wreck (again) on this universe.

Also they clearly have established different concepts and characteristics for this "chaos vs order" theme and its reasonable to expect that it's going to find some sort of conclusion at the end of this season, depending what type of story the creators want to tell. It will defiently be interesting to see what they do with it.

[schemelin]

i just realized this is my first finals week.

[hopecomesbacktolife]

did the adulty scaries (sent an email to a former prof/mentor from back in undergrad asking for advice on instrument stuff)

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I think the reader's response to this post is probably going to either be "That's incredibly minor" or "Holy shit YES I'M ALSO PROUD", depending on people's personal experiences with academia, but:

Today I am incredibly proud of one of my students.

In the interests of disguising identities, let's call them Ceri. Ceri is one of my third year undergrads (meaning their final year, for anyone unfamiliar with UK uni systems.) They transferred to us last year, and within two weeks I was giving them the contact info to get to Student Services and get themself screened for ADHD; they have some mental health struggles, but I clocked pretty quickly that they STRUGGLE with procrastination, and punctuality, and attending 9am lectures in particular. Naturally, as is the way of my people, it took them a further four months to remember to go to the screening. Lol. Lmao. Rofl, in fact.

But, they did it eventually! Their screening lit up like a Christmas tree at the ADHD section, and they got a free laptop and optional one week extensions and a study support worker named Claire. This has helped tremendously, and although mental health + until-then-unsupported ADHD meant their academic profile had slid sideways somewhat, with the new tools available and a couple of resits they passed the year and hit this year running.

Until, that is, the last fortnight.

Now, I take them for a Habitat Management module that has two assessments: an academic poster presentation before Christmas, and a site-specific management plan in May. Naturally this means we are at that happy point in the year for the poster presentations. I give out the briefs at the start of the year, so they've had them since October; I've also been periodically checking in with them all for weeks, to make sure they don't have any major burning questions. The poster presentation was to pick a species reintroduction project, pull the habitat feasibility study out of it, and then critique that study; Ceri chose to look at the hen harrier reintroductions proposed for the southern UK. All good.

Which brings us nicely to today! Ceri's presentation is scheduled for 2.30. At 11am-1pm, I am lecturing the first years on Biodiversity, while Ceri is learning about environmental impact assessment with a colleague I shall call Aeron. This means we are separately occupied during those same hours.

Nevertheless, Aeron messages me at about 12.

"I think Ceri needs to see you after your lecture," he writes. "They're panicking, I genuinely think they might cry. I'm worried. Are you free at 1?"

I say I am. At 1, I get lunch and sit in the common area; Ceri comes to see me. To my personal shame, imagine all of the following takes place while I stuff my face with potato.

Now: this part is going to be uncomfortably familiar to anyone who has ever tried higher education with ADHD, especially unmedicated. It certainly was for me. All I can say is, I never had the courage to take the step here that Ceri did.

"I have to confess," they said quietly, and Aeron was right, they were fighting back tears. "My mental health has been so, so bad for the last fortnight. I've left it way, way too late. I don't have anything to present."

"Nothing at all?" I asked.

"I've been researching," they said helplessly. "I found loads on the decline of the hen harrier. But it wasn't until last night that I finally found a habitat feasibility study to critique. Generally... I've been burying my head about it, and it just got later and later. I thought I should come in for Aeron's lecture, and I should at least tell you."

This part is a minor thing, right? But honestly, I remember being in the grip of that particular shame spiral. I never did manage to tell my lecturers to their faces. I just avoided. I honestly can't imagine having the courage it took them to come in and tell me this, rather than just staying home and avoiding me.

"I think..." they said hesitantly, "I know I can submit up to a week late, for a capped mark. I think I need to do that, and apply for extenuating circumstances. But then I'll have both Aeron's assignment and yours due at the same time."

Which meant they would crumble under the pressure and likely struggle to pass both; so me, being as noble and heroic as I unarguably am, stopped eating potato and said, "Let's make that plan B."

(It was good potato. I am a hero.)

So, we made plan A: I moved their timeslot to 4.30, giving them three and a half hours. The shining piece of luck in this whole thing was that this was the crunch time assignment - if it had been Aeron's, they'd have had to try and write a 3000 report in that time. But for me, all they had to write was an academic poster, and those things are light on words by design. We found them a Canva template, and then we quickly sketched out a recommended structure based on the brief: if it's habitat feasibility, look at food availability, nesting site availability, and mortality risks in the target release site. Bullet point each. Bullet point how well the study assessed each. Write a quick intro and conclusion. Take notes as you go, and present the poster itself at 4.30.

"You think I should try?" they asked doubtfully, looking like I'd just asked them to go mano-a-mano with a feral badger.

"If you run out of time, so be it," I said. "But your brain is trying to protect you from a non-existent tiger. That's why you've procrastinated - it's been horrible, and you've been shame spiralling, and your brain is trying to shield you from the negative experience; but it's the wrong type of help for this situation! So while you're sitting there working on it, hating life, every time your brain goes 'This is hopeless, I can't do it', you think right back 'Yes I can, it just sucks.' And you carry on. Good?"

"Good," they said. "I'm going to mainline coffee and hole up in the library. Enjoy your potato."

And then, of course, I had to go and watch the other students' presentations, so that was the end of me being any help at all. I spent all afternoon wondering if they were going to manage it, or if I would be getting a message at 4.25 telling me they'd failed, and would have to submit late and hope for an EC.

And Tumblrs

Tumblrs

Let me FUCKING tell you

They turned up at 4.15, fifteen minutes early, wearing a mask of grim, harrowed determination and fuelled by spite and coffee, and they pulled up that poster and started presenting and yes, okay, I'll admit their actual delivery was dramatically unpolished and yes, they forgot to include the taxanomic name for the hen harrier on the poster and yes, fine, I admit that there were more than a few awkward moments where they lost their place in their hastily scribbled notebook but LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU -

They smashed it. It was well-critiqued, it had a map, it had full citations, it had a section on the hen harrier's specific ecology and role in the ecosystem, it had notes on their specific conservation measures. They described case studies they'd read about elsewhere. They answered the questions we threw at them with competence and depth. There was analysis. All that background research they'd done came right to the fore. They were even within the time limit by 15 seconds.

You would never have known they'd produced it in three hours, from a quivering and terrified mess fighting the bodily urge to dehydrate via tear ducts. After they left, the second marker and I looked at each other and went "So that was a 2:1, right?"

I caught up with Aeron downstairs and he was beaming. Apparently Ceri had seen him on their way out, and had gone over to talk to him. Aeron said the difference between the Ceri of this morning and the Ceri of then was like two different people; in four hours, they'd gone from their voice literally breaking as they admitted the problem, ashamed and broken, to being relaxed and happy and smiling.

"I reckon I've passed," they apparently told Aeron, pleased. "Maybe even a 2:2. There's things I wish I'd had the time to do better, but I'll be happy if I passed."

They won't know until late January what they got, because we're not allowed to release marks until 20 term days after hand-in, and the Christmas holidays are about to hit. But I'm really hoping I can be there when they're released.

But mostly, I'm just... insanely proud of them. I cannot tell you how happy I am. And I know, I know, obviously this is not a practice I would want to see them do regularly, or indeed ever again, and it only worked because they were fucking lucky with the assignment format, but like... when life is just punching you in the face, and you hit a breaking point... isn't it nice? That just this once, you pull off a miracle, and it's fixed? The disaster you thought was about to ruin you is gone? To get that relief?

Anyway. Super super proud today.

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 ( 𝗮𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 !! )

𝟭. improve your writing skills ( ✒️ )

i feel that not everyone has the perception of how important it is to know how to write. you don't have to be a poet, nor the new emily brontë, but fluid, conscious, rich writing makes the difference. really. you could write a page without saying anything at all, but if that damn page is written good and smoothly, then you can be sure that you will get extra points. take the time to improve your writing skills, the best advice i have for doing so is reading. read as much as you can. read novels (non-fiction in this case doesn't help because the content is preferred rather than the form), read contemporary authors – you don't necessarily have to read sophocles' tragedies, but read quality stuff. expand your vocabulary, your knowledge of syntax, learn to use punctuation! and then write, tell stories, write love letters, write reviews of films, books, cultural festivals, open a blog on tumblr and write to practice, reread what you write ad nauseam, until it is perfect, until the form of your essay is pulitzer prize worthy.

bonus some of my favourite authors (tell me in the comments about yours!): ian mcewan, banana yoshimoto, haruki murakami, george orwell, josé saramago, albert camus, khaled hosseini, hanya yanagihara

𝟮. develop critical thinking ( 💭 )

if you have always studied passively by absorbing information and vomiting it onto a test sheet then you have wasted your time. taking on information is not enough, you need to know how to rework it and develop your own idea about it. especially in the arts and literature one may disagree with certain information provided by a textbook. developing critical thinking is not easy, especially due to the school system that teaches us to standardize thinking. always consult all available sources on a given topic, compare them, analyze contradictions. it might be difficult and tiring – our brain spends more energy processing two conflicting pieces of information than processing two pieces of information that agree – but it will be worth it. by practicing critical thinking and improving your argumentation skills, you will not only be able to improve in your studies, becoming able to present complex topics and make interdisciplinary connections, but also in daily life, you will become much less influenced and manipulated by external information.

𝟯. find yourself an interest ( 🌷 )

it could be anything, but find an interest that excites you and you enjoy and do research about it. watch videos, documentaries, read articles. it doesn't have to be school-related, it must be an external topic that you are passionate about and that allows you to rediscover the joy of studying and learning every time school seems to suffocate it. sometimes i'm not in the mood to study for exams, so i dedicate myself to my personal research and finally find my spark, my seek for knowledge. for example, my interest is true crime, it has always fascinated me since i was little, but yours could be wild animals, makeup, comics, ships, planes, ocean flora, literally anything. there is no constraint.

𝟰. analyze your mistakes and recognize your wrongs ( 🫒 )

there is no shame in making mistakes. everyone makes mistakes, we are human, but the real sin is getting bogged down in mistakes, refusing to acknowledge them, and continuing to make them again and again. we should be continually growing, continually discovering ourselves, both intellectually and emotionally. how many of you were the "gifted kid" when you were little and then grew up into burned out high school / uni students desperately seeking academic validation? there comes a time when talent isn't enough, you have to put in the effort, and this doesn't make you less intelligent or gifted, in fact, quite the opposite. dedicating time and attention to your personal and intellectual growth also means having to ruminate on your mistakes. it's scary, but it's the most effective way if you really want to improve. take a notebook and at the end of the day reflect on the highlights and the wrongs, what you could have done better, where you would like to push forward tomorrow, what you achieved today. did you make a mistake? first ask yourself why and then look for a way to solve the problem, make every bad moment a lesson, a brick on which to build the version of you you wanto to become tomorrow.

𝟱. don't be afraid of doing researches ( 🧃 )

the amount of fake news and misinformation online is appalling. opening any app like tiktok or instagram we are inundated with information that is often (not always, but not so rarely) inaccurate. don't be afraid to conduct your own research, if you have time to mindlessly scroll through tiktok you will also have five minutes to read an article regarding that information provided. don't know the meaning of a word? look it up before using it. not sure about a piece of information? check it before using it in your argumentation. in the age of immediate access to data we have no excuse to be superficial.

𝟲. master communication ( ♟️ )

mastering communication is essential in both personal and professional realms. it's the cornerstone of building meaningful relationships, whether it's conveying ideas effectively in academia or fostering connections in the workplace. developing strong communication skills not only enhances your ability to articulate thoughts but also empowers you to listen actively, empathize with others, and resolve conflicts constructively. ultimately, honing these skills cultivates confidence, credibility, and success in all aspects of life.

𝟳. push yourself out of your comfort zone ( 🧸 )

build your confidence. confidence is uncomfortable. don't be afraid of it. you are young, this is the right time to experiment, take risks, discover who you really are. this is the best time for you to do those things that you would otherwise never do, you don't want to regret later in life that you didn't accept that scholarship, that trip abroad, that job opportunity, because you didn't feel comfortable enough. do things that take you out of your comfort zone until everything becomes your comfort zone. go on solo dates, be a social butterfly, tell the girl at the bookstore you love her t-shirt, go to the theater alone, eat at a restaurant alone, take that trip. if it goes badly, you'll only have one funny story to tell.

𝟴. stay informed about the news (but not too much!) ( 🌍 )

this might be controversial, but: stay informed about the news, just don't overdo it. personally, i am an easily influenced person and i realized that being constantly exposed to the bad things happening in the world had drained me and made me terribly depressed. don't get me wrong, you need to be informed about what's happening in the world and in your country, just being constantly surrounded by horrible news repeated ad nauseam on TV programs is of no use. be aware.

[cartoonsinthemorning]

So I absolutely love all your thoughts and ideas about a fem Stan, but what about a fem Ford? I feel like that could also be a really fun dynamic. Stan trying to be the man and protecting fem!Ford from bullies, but is really just entirely wrapped around Fords fingers. And then! The jealousy could come into play in other ways! Like Stan starts dating someone and Ford is pissed about it so she leaves a lipstick mark on his collar or subtly sprays him with perfumes so that Stans partner thinks he was cheating and leaves him. And the obsessionnn. Imagine her stealing Stan’s shirts and sleeping in them just because they smell like him. Or staring at him while he sleeps and sketching him in her personal diary (though let’s be real, canon Ford did that too lol.) Anyways, I also like the idea of all of these pent up feeling finally coming out and her just riding Stan until he can’t think straight and her being like “that’s right, you’ll never have it this good with anyone else.” Idk. Thoughts?

Hello new friend! Thank you for enjoying my thoughts and ideas about fem!Stan, and for now kickstarting a conversation about fem!Ford too! I have a lot of thoughts. So many, in fact, that before moving to the shippy part, I need to focus on Ford alone, first. What would differ, was he born a girl. Quite a lot. I’m gonna be blunt. All things Ford had been oppressed by, in canon, would hit ten times harder, if he was a girl. Take academic ambitions, for example: I’m not saying that fem!Ford’s extraordinary intelligence wouldn’t had earned her praise. I just doubt she would had been encouraged to pursue higher education, and convert her studies into a career. A jewish WOMAN into STEM? Back then? I don’t think any of her teachers suggested she shoots for a prestigious university- why give her and her family unrealistic expectations? Ma and Pa would had been happy to have a smart, studious daughter, but I’m sure the idea to invest into her studies would had been up to debate, if not shot down immediately: to spend that type of money, when her likely future job would be either high school science teacher, or museum curator- would had been a pointless waste, to someone like Filbrick Pines.

To be honest, I think teen fem!Ford would had rather been encouraged, by her parents, to attend professional classes instead, something like a typewriting course- in order to find a stable secretary job, for example, after high school. Can you imagine, someone with Ford’s potential, being told “Well honey, at least you can put those extra fingers to a practical use, if you learn to type very fast”? Can you imagine how UTTERLY humiliated fem!Ford must had felt, all the time? Just like Ford, I think she’d be perfectly aware what a genius she is, and how drastically she’s been underestimated. And yet, she’d have to take in consideration the evidence: it doesn’t matter how great her mind is. They are right, there’s no place that would want her. The only person that would root for her, ever the dreamer, would be Stanley. He’d just take her hands, wipe her tears away, and promise, with naive, granitic certainty, that he will find a way to help her. His plans would range from completely unrealistic and cartoonish (“Ya could invent a machine that turns me into a brainiac, and once Pa send me to that tech uni ya like, I’ll sneak you in the classes, and you’ll take my place!”), to painfully sweet, albeit still unrealistic (“If Pa doesn’t want to support ya, I’ll take two or three jobs and pay for your studies and stuff myself!”). Stanley would look at his sister with bright eyes, and a huge optimistic grin, stating that she’s the smartest gal that ever existed, so there’s NO WAY she won’t become some posh scientist and prove everyone in Glass Shard Beach wrong. Every time Stanley would pull his stupid, naive, adoring Protector Knight acts, fem!Ford would feel so angry at herself for blushing, and for her heart-rate speeding up. Because it’s so intoxicating to be believed in, but she can’t afford to fall for Stanley’s overly-hopeful view of her condition, and she can’t afford to fall for him either. And this brings me to yet another point I wanted to make: self-esteem, and societal expectations.

If canon Ford’s hands got him bullied, and classified as freak- for a girl, they would had also been a mark of ugliness and considered remarkably un-feminine. I bet F., as a little girl, suffered a lot for having more in common with the grotesque antagonistic creatures of her favorite books, rather than the princess. And I’m sure EVERYONE around her didn’t fail to make her notice too. In subtle ways, sometimes. Like her mom suggesting she gets ear-rings, for her birthday, rather than bracelets, because it would be best not to concentrate more attention on those, right? Even if teen fem!Ford would act aloof, as if she didn’t care anymore, she’d be so self conscious about her large palms and extra fingers- so unfeminine and gross- she’d fantasize about chopping them off quite often. If Stanley hadn’t happily held her hand throughout their childhood, and “made fun” of how tiny her hands look in his large ones, as teenagers, maybe she would have, in a fit of self-hate. Thing is, fem!Ford would hold grudges and set secret standards in her head. It’s not like she thinks she’d never be able to get a boyfriend, despite her hands: she doesn’t look horrible, she’d be pretty, even, if she cared for her appearance like her moms begs her to do- but F. wouldn’t be able to suppress the burning conviction that “No other man but Stanley deserves me”. Other men may want her despite her hands, but Stanley was there since the beginning, telling her her hands make her more special than any other girl, like she was magical, like she belong in the fairy tales book she used to read aloud to him. What a stab to the heart, then, that she can’t have him. Not only because they are siblings, but because, just like you said, Stanley would date someone else. Carla, and some other stupid bitch that F. would need to get rid of, because they don’t deserve Stanley like she does neither! I love all the strategies you listed, to “mark her territory” and push other girls away!! I love toxic, jealous girlies!! I don’t condone Ford’s yanderism, but fem!Ford has my blessing. She can be a creep, as a treat. As for the part you mentioned, about fem!Ford snapping and riding Stan- YES I also agree, AND I’d like to add to it. In this AU, Stanley isn’t a misogynist in the classic sense: he doesn’t consider his sister an inferior at all. But… he would not be immune to absorbing the Madonna-whore complex:Girls like Carla- he can fool around with, because they are that kind of girls. Promiscuous, slutty- bad girls. But his sister is different. She’s so virtuous, so smart- his pure, innocent little sister. Stanley would NEVER lay a finger on her. Yes, he may admit to himself he is in love with her, which is also horrible, but at least he would never, ever sexualize her. Cue Stanley playing dumb, or finding excuses to weasel away, whenever fem!Ford flirted with him, or even made clear advances- during the entire length of their teenage years. Until fem!Ford just. Decided she couldn’t take it anymore, stripped naked, slipped into Stan’s bed, and grinded and kissed his neck until he caved, lmao. I have even more thoughts, but it’s getting late, here. I must cut the yapping short, for now. Please, feel free to come chat again, and throw more ideas of your own at me! Thank you for this one, MMMMWAH, baci baci!

[i4oba]

haechan as… 💭 / your study buddy ⊹◞✿

haechan as your study buddy sounds like a complete nightmare

I KNOWWWW

but hear me out… Hear!!!!! me out I swear

when he’s determined, he can focus, it just takes … a bit too much in him to do that

not because he’s stupid, he’s super super smart when he’s actually trying

but you know… there are courses that are pain in the ass and you cannot even deny that

and as complete opposites.. you Do care about it, meanwhile he Does NOT give a shit about those

like he couldn’t care less if he failed introduction to philosophy

he doesn’t even know why he has to complete that course. like what’s the fucking point..

FUCK HEGEL???likeee

but you were hella determined to help him out and kind of motivate him

i mean, he wouldn’t mind a little extra cash as a scolarship either ???The least he can do is just sit down and study

that’s how it always have been anyways, ever since middle school

studying together at the library, solving math problems and talking shit in between two of these sessions

the latter part was hyuck’s favourite honestly, he’s such a shittalker fr (i get it, i am too)

he knows basically every gossip… that’s how it always have been! (he knew about the crush jisung had on one of the seniors back in high school and was sooooo into this little affair he singlehandedly ruined his chances… by accidentally spilling it all to the girlie… Oops was all he said too like LMFAO)

he starts and ends all of your uni study sessions with gossips as well honestly

he says it should be a sandwich (or some bullshit idk)–one nasty rumour, some molecular biology and one lighthearted gossip as a way to finish

letting some steam off

he’s not even sorry about it.. at least he has something to look forward to everytime you meet

he’s such a big gossiper it’s actually crazy

and when he gets soooo into it, his voice gets all squeaky and shit lol

him studying journalism doesn’t even help at all, like why is he so fucking interested in this

he says he wants to work at atlantic but… what are the chances? HE SHOULD STUDY

and that’s why you two were there!!! nose should be buried in books!!!!!!!

but his is… well, behind the screen of his phone, going through his instagram dms and showing off other girl’s messages

some extremely cute ones and some embarrassing love confessions as well

you cannot help but laugh when you see someone replying to his thirst trap stories with heart eyed emojis and shit

especially when you can recall how you literally called him a loser in your reply

i mean, you were right after all Lmfao

he knows you’re joking though.. he knows he’s hot as fuck and the most important: he knows that you know

but let’s get back to our main point ???Duh

you were Sat at one of the lesser crowded corners of the campus library, surrounded by a couple of notebooks, one half cup of coffee that has long gone cold, and your laptop–meanwhile hyuck only had one, pretty small notebook he used for every lecture he had, and it had been…

through a lot (as if a dog chewed on it or something but really it’s just that he didn’t care about it)

but anywaaaaays… in the first like, ten minutes he was actually working??? studying his stuff???? Even telling you some fun facts he could remember

like that’s how he is naturally, his method of learning is teaching at the same time as well

which is actually such a useful way imo, that’s how i do as well lmfao

but then you had to avert your attention and do the rest of your research paper to finally finish the project.. it had been ages since you’ve started and you were nowhere near the finish line

so he just.. went on his phone instead. he thrives on attention and when you’re not giving it to him… well YEAAAHHH

he intentionally puts the volume of his phone pretty high so he can annoy you with the sound of him typing and shit

going through tiktok and all

he’s such an asshole for that

but you like the presence of him. it’s soothing kinda that he’s .. there?? clearly not studying but keeping you company

i mean, doing this all alone would be rather depressing, isn’t it? You’re not a big fan of that

so he stays. because he’s aware.

and maybe, with some extra help, he could learn his material.. you just gotta take break more frequent so he can act like as if he was a lecturer ahah

mansplaining and shit ijbol

and at the end??? at the crack of the night??? walking you back to your dorm???? he’s the one offering you two should do this again soon

not tomorrow, he adds–there’s a frat party he’s expected to attend

but after that????He’s excited to do it again :P

[luciawithoutj]

Hey hi hello!

I have some things to say about new merch and jo merch in general so this is gonna be a litrle longer post and actually I think I should cange my semiotics theme (which is already about jo) about how bad their merch design is.

First of all little disclaimer: this is all my humble opionion based on what I learned in my one year of being graphic design student and an artist and designer on the internet for last 4-5 years. Before going to uni I learned most of about art and graphic design stuff by reading books and watching tons of yt videos. Second of all this critic is just coming from place of love for this band because I see so mucb potential and they could do some amazing merch designs if they give it a chance and I am fully aware how expensive the touring is and why they had to cut the quality of merch products.

So far my favorite jo band merch designs are cds (that probably required some designer to make), condoms (because they are really funny, genius, nicely designed and unique merch that fit the vibe of the band and matches their songs as well) and the new tshirt from last merch drop (which design is made by one slovenian fanartist : link.

Main reason that made me want to speak up is seeing that this merch drop will only have 100 products (my friend said that could mean 20-ish shirts per size) which how big this fandom has gotten in last year is pretty really dam limited. For a limited product I am really disappointed and I hoped for more. For such a limited product that design is the most default design they could have gone for and I am so sorry for Damon because his work is goregous, amazing, breathtaking and I could talk about it for ages and how inspiring it is but this shirt design isn't serving.

If they wanted to do bare minimum of design with those 5 images here is some of my ideas (unfortunately I don't have time to visually show them to yall on a mock ups because of finals that I should be studying for instead of writing this so try to imagine what I am trying to say and demonstrate). First is just simple instead of white choose black shirt or even better a thisrt. If you want it to go a stepp further is using their name logo font (font name is Avaline btw if anyone wants to download and use it for their designs :))) and either put it how they did when they promoted the everybody's waiting or to write idk therapy sessions or anything related to the band or it can even be some inside joke.

Something like this would make design just a bit more intersting but still bare minimum but amazing for regular merch. If they want to go a step further but want to keep the long sleeves (this idea was suggested by few people I talked too) they could put pictures vertically on the sleeves. I would find it a bit cooler if it is on the right sleeve out-side and then they put their band logo (the heart one) on the left side of the shirt where people's hearts normally are.

After exams I would definitely like to try to make some designs and just limit myself with this 5 pictures and play with typography and photoshoop to make something interesting.

Another I want to mentioned is how in my humble opinion if you are gonna sell limited edition either make it really pretty or good quality or really cursed and funny with inside jokes.

I think people (and me first) would eat tshirts (but also other merch designs) with some cursed designs or just texts that say "sparklative" or "slay pose" or "I feel SloveNACE" (this 3 were suggested by amazing people in tumblr discord server) or even let Jan photoshoop their faces on most random picture. This 5 guys with their gen z humour could make and do some hilarious merch like how amazing idea the condoms are.

Last thing I want to say is how many amazingly talented fans are. I mean even Damon was so shocked and moved by amount of talent and art made in this community. Furthermore I know (some of them as online friends and mutuals, others as just artists from same fandom) who are also either graphic design students or they work in art/graphic design/entertainment fields and some of them (including myself) would be so happy to even make few merch designs or art for them for freee or for a ticket for their show. Personally I would die from happiness if I get a chance to work with my favorite band that inspires me so much everyday to the point people at my uni think I am from Slovenia and know slovenian because of how much I include them in my uni work and how much fanart and designs I made because of them in last 6 months.

I just think there is so much potential guys might not be aware of (Idk honestly because who knows what is going on backstage in their lives). But yeah they could have even asked Damon to help them with composition of the pictures on that shirt or even hire Racik to make some pretty art or any fanartist honestly. Here is just few links of my favorite fanartists who also do a lot of graphic design related stuff (and also some of them sell their products on their own websites/redbubble/etsy/inprint/etc) :

Tia <3

Roxanne

Vic

jo.kam_ (previously mentioned her design)

Lemon

yelecx

Racik (ofc)

There is probably more but my brain for hell of it won't remember any names so feel free to add in the comments or tags more artists <3

I could probably go more in depth and give more ideas how to improve merch designs the cheapest and best way as possible but still trying to keep the quality good as it needs to be. I know there is still gonna be people fighting for this shirts and people are still gonna buy their merch but just it hurts my art/designer soul seeing this bad designs when there is so much potential and they have amazing fans and amazing crew and they work with so many talnted people and they themselves are so talented and their music inspired so many and so much.

Thanks everyone for coming to my TedTalk. <3

Actually now I am thinking and from just talking about jo work from design and semiotics perspective for that semiotics seminar I could just focus on their merch design and go more in detail about it and if yall want when it is done and I translate it in english I could share it here for people who want to read about it. Let me know I guess.

Also if someone is interested my art and design insta is lucia.without.j and my redbubble is lucia-without-j and my dms are always open if someone wants to chat or complain about anything art, design, joker out or any other fandom I am in related.

P. S. I am so sorry for any spelling mistakes and if what I said doesn't make sense. English isn't my first language.

[thisismeracing]

LEWIS DATING A KOREAN GIRL | LH44

Warnings: mentions of food; tooth-rotting fluff; mentions of family members; not proofread.

A/n: Just a quick reminder that there are many shades, experiences, and backgrounds when it comes to korean people and their culture, what I am writing does not resume everything, but rather brings a piece of it to the table. <3

⁕ Reader is an engineer as requested here, but it's just one of the points of the headcanon, so it won't be a problem if you're not an engineer hehe <3

⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

Lewis will definitely learn a thing or two of your native language even before you guys start dating. And once you finally do, he will be all in for learning everything.

He's curious and eager to learn about Korean culture beyond what the mainstream shows. And he will listen attentively to everything you tell him.

Don't get me started on the fooood! Man will try every vegan version available and you'll love him even more for that. He already knows how to use chopsticks, but before you, he would use them occasionally, now he uses them whenever you guys are having any traditional dish (to which he will listen to you talk with heart eyes).

Lewis is such a mindful lover, he will definitely buy small things that remind you of your culture and put them around the house to make it feel homier so you don't even wander far from your roots.

When you go meet your family it takes a bit for Lewis to get used to keeping his PDA to hands holding, he would often lean in to kiss you and then remember and backtrack with a smile all giddy.

Your whole family just loves him so much, they learn how to cook the vegan versions of all traditional foods and Lewis almost cries when it's dinner time and you guys are eating the same thing.

The whole relationship is just a lovely experience because you guys will talk about everything and anything. He will often ask about work/uni and you're going to tell all the engineering gossip. More often than not you guys will discuss the technicalities of the cars and he'll get the urge to just kiss because you're just so perfect and smart and funny, he's in awe.

You can bet this man is gonna brag about you and mention that you're an engineer to everyone around. The internet will even joke about how his answer to everything always starts with "Yeah, you know my girlfriend's an engineer, so...".

The Mercedes garage will love having you around, you're just so polite and friendly. They'll love how Lewis always shows the car stuff to you and ask your opinion, and it's common to end up in a small circle of conversation with the crew about racing.

Will definitely take up reading more about your interests and your culture. You'll catch tons of Koean songs on his new gym playlist.

It's a calm and beautiful love. Lewis is open and ready to do anything and everything for you, just like you are for him.

― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL:  If something sounded stereotypical or even slightly offensive, please let me know, and I’ll change it immediately. I hope you guys liked it *mwah*

taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @formulakay3 @crimeshowjunkie @mishaandthebrits @iloveyou3000morgan @fdl305 @saintslewis @scorpiobleue @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @uuuseeerrr12 @balekane_mohafe

[megumi-fm]

this fortnight in megumi.fm ▸ bye bye march👋

ft. unchecked ambition to recreate of the hardest Kpop dances (only in vain), lots of code debugging, and using Yeolpumta the wrong way

💻 Internship // progress tracker

-> detecting pockets in protein structures using 3diff pipelines -> finding consensus pockets using outputs of pipelines -> pocket alignment of protein models by structural alignment with a set of known binding site structures -> read base paper -> weekly presentations [2/2] besides these tasks I've been trying to modify all my code files such that they can run directly from the system terminal (i hate edge cases and this entire process has taken years off my life) so that I can upload it on github

🎓 Uni Stuff

-> charted out a timeline for master's applications deadlines and related work

👟 Kpop dances!!

completed! 🔥bye bye ankles ⇒ I'd started this way before I messed up my ankle and then I abandoned it but we are so back... I picked it up last week and finally! it is done. 💪 bts' magnum opus ⇒ the main challenge is ensuring to hit every beat at the right speed and my rendition is still far from refined but hey. atleast my moves have developed some fluidity currently <3 🧢 left, right and just vibes ⇒ really needed a breather after the first two dances and now I'm here xD although the main reason I picked this dance was bc I loved the part switch version and all the references // ✅chorus + prechorus ⚡ crush...ing my motivation ⇒ so much for taking a breather. I've been obsessed with this song and I tried to start learning it and... four seconds- that's how much I've learnt in past three days. but the satisfaction when I got those four seconds? immeasurable. // ✅1st chorus pt1/3

💿 Other Things This week

📅 started my 18day habit challenge! by which I simply mean I'm using Yeolpumta as a daily tracker app rather than a study app and I'm loving it <3 I get excited seeing different colours marked on the daily calendar and as a consequence I've been more productive lately :D 🍊 been eating healthier! lots of fruit and water intake and I've also been learning to cook! 📖 The Myth of Sisyphus <3 I don't read a lot of non fiction but this piece is hella intruiging and I'm having a lot of fun 🍕 Lunch with the besties [x2] 🎰 Gaming Arcade shenanigans yet again 🎆 Fest at Uni! One of the best bollywood singers of all time showed up and he sang bangers from our childhood; we had a blast 🎧 lots and lots of kpop and for some reason I keep coming back to Advice by Taemin

[ 18th - 31st Mar; week 13+14/52 || and with that, 1/4th of this year is done. I'm pretty satisfied with how I how i spent the past two weeks, hopefully I'm able to stay consistent 🤞]

[catsvrsdogscatswin]

Since a lot of people enjoyed the "Legolas bluescreening" joke in my Boromir post, have some further Fun Elf Lore from the books:

Even aside from the reality-bending stuff Galadriel and Elrond can do with their rings, elves casually disregard the laws of physics all the time. Legolas stands (and runs!) without sinking in snow that's chest-deep for Aragorn and Boromir. Elves can also sleep -or at least, gain the same benefits- while walking upright, an ability Legolas taps into several times while chasing the orcs that kidnapped Merry and Pippin.

Middle Earth used to be flat: you could sail west from the coast by the Shire and eventually hit the Undying Lands. Due to a long story of hubris, the gods got pissed and said "Fuck this, *unflats your earth*" and made the world a globe. Elves, however, were broadly exempted from this rule, which is both why they can still sail to the Undying Lands when no one else can and why they have such incredibly keen vision: they can ignore petty human concerns like "there's a horizon in the way" when sighting in on something.

The distinction between elf groups is broadly a matter of academic degree. Middle Earth was created via a Very Large Choir, which foretold the coming of Elves and Men (not dwarves: I'll get to that in a minute) but left the gods with a terribly long wait time until things actually happened. When Elves did finally show up, the gods were ecstatic and invited them all to hang out. The elves that went to the Undying Lands learned magic and wonders beyond mortal comprehension at the feet of Valar, which makes them automatically wiser and more powerful than the elves who loved Middle Earth more and never left. Basically, they went to Elf Uni and got a diploma while everyone else stayed home.

Galadriel was born and raised in the Undying Lands, and Elrond has a doctorate by descent, as does Arwen. No one from Mirkwood ever went to Elf Uni, which may partially explain why Thranduil is Like That.

"Wait why are the smart elves back in Middle Earth if they moved overseas?" A) Not all of them did come back and B) those that left the Undying Lands did so because Feanor involved them in a property dispute so big the Simarillion got named after it.

Who is Feanor, you ask? Feanor was an elf from the Undying Lands who made the shiniest bangingest blinging-est jewels to ever exist, and when they got stolen by Sauron's precursor/old boss Morgoth, he swore an oath to bind his entire line to the act of dire vengeance and dragged half the elven population of the Undying Lands back to Middle Earth after him in search of said gems. Morgoth also killed Feanor's dad on the way out after robbing him, but the patricide is mostly an afterthought to He Stole My Rocks!!!

If the elves of Middle Earth are involved with a non-Sauron-based conflict (and sometimes even when they are) there is a 98% chance that it is somehow, ancestrally, indirectly, the fault of Feanor and That Goddamn Oath. Except Mirkwood's beef with the Lonely Mountain -that's one of the sole outliers.

One of the first Elf-Men encounters was Galadriel's brother Finrod deciding that the best way to greet this new race was by sneaking into a warcamp full of sleeping humans and playing a harp solo to assure them of his harmlessness. This is objectively batshit, but it did in fact work, so Nat 20 for him I guess. He later died after being captured by Sauron; he was mortally wounded while fighting a werewolf in defense of a friend, which he managed to kill naked and weaponless. Another Nat 20, RIP.

Dwarves and elves tend to dislike each other due to Ancestral Curse of Thinking You Have Bad Vibes. Back during the long wait for sentient beings to show up, the smith god Mahal (Aulë to the elves) got impatient and made the seven dwarf lords. When Eru politely if frigidly asked him what the hell he thought he was doing, Mahal humbly explained that the wait was taking forever and he craved people to infodump at teach who shared his love of crafting. Eru felt that that was fair enough and accepted dwarves into the universal family, but added in admonition that "Since they're adopted, they and my eldest aren't going to get along. Also you have to put them back in a hole and wait for the elves to show up because you can't just jump the queue like that."

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi :) i hear you give advice and i very much need some. I’m 15 and I live in a pretty (very) conservative christian area.

My older sibling is 19, and came out as trans to me like a year ago. Ngl I didn’t really know what that meant, cause we don’t learn about that stuff (except for your classic, anything that isn’t “normal” is wrong). But he just told me that he’s happier with he/him and with his new name. But he hasn’t told our parents yet, so I have to use the old stuff in front of them when he comes back for visits (he’s as uni) which feels gross cause I know he feels uncomfortable but it’s fine. 

I sort of thought the he/him thing would be weird, since that’s not how i’ve addressed him my whole life, but after a couple of months it was actually super easy. We call each other like twice a week, and I was worried we’d drifted apart after he told me but actually were closer than ever, I feel like I know him a lot better now. 

Oh but his old name, the one parents gave him, SUCKS. And now I can’t mock him for it cause he picked a new one, which seems unfair to me but I can come up with new material, i’m creative.

Anyway, he told me that he’s been saving up and he’s gonna get top surgery. He’s had a pretty good job since  school so I guess he’s been saving since then. I hear it’s expensive. 

But it made him decide to tell our parents. So when he came up and visited, just before he left, he told them.

That was last week. They reacted terribly, as we knew they would. And they’ve both been yelling about it a bunch. Saying stuff like “He (okay no they’re actually using she but I won’t be doing that even in writing cause it feels wrong cause it’s my brother) is totally insane” or “He needs therapy, we failed him.” or “How dare *old name* do this” or “he’s delusional” and a bunch of other awful shit like that.

So I have two options. I can try and encourage them to do little things like use he/him for my brother. Or call him their son instead of daughter. Or actually look at photos of him now (he very much doesn’t look like a girl anymore- idk how they didn’t realise tbh). Or how he always did little things like cutting his hair and hating dresses and other stuff like that.

I’ve often been able to help my parents be nicer about stuff. Like my friend who’s a lesbian, they hated her at first but now they’re nicer about it.

But maybe if I do that they’ll start yelling about corrupting me (as they’ve done in the past) and harass my brother worse and be even worse about it all. 

It’s hard to know which direction it’ll go.

And look I still don’t really get it. But also it makes sense, you know? It’s like the final puzzle piece being slotted in, all those things he used to do make sense now. 

My parents say I can’t interact with lgbtq+ stuff cause they’ll corrupt me. But like- not to be rude but, aren’t they corrupting me? My brother HAPPY. I don’t see how that’s wrong. And they’re the ones telling me I should be actively encouraging him to be- what, sad again? Uncomfortable in himself. 

I don’t know, i’m not totally sure I understand my parents or my brother. I got tumblr in the first place since it’s the only thing I could think of that’s online (so I could hide it) and probably has lgbtq+ people on it so I could- idk get used to it I guess. 

And now i’m here. 

When it comes down to it, I want my brother to be happy, and if he’s happier as my brother than my sister then I don’t see why I should care about him switching pronouns or whatever. 

So I want to try and help my parents see it like that too. And they often do see new sides to things when I point them out. So maybe id be helping.

But there’s also the chance they’d get more mad at my brother for corrupting me and that’d make him upset and that’s not what I want. 

So yeah, any advice? 

It’s kinda scary coming from my small town onto the giant internet of people i’ve been taught are weird. But you guys don’t seem that weird. I mean- you do but weird like i’m weird, not weird like ill. (Sorry if any of this seems rude btw, I might not get it but i’m trying really hard not to judge anyone, since it’s pretty clear to me that some of the things i’ve been taught aren’t correct). 

Also why do my parents think my brothers ill anyway? I know him, i’d know if he’s ill. Also i love history, and trans people are all over history. I mean they’re never said to be trans but watching my brother, it’s pretty obvious other people were like him. 

Anyway, thanks and have a good summer 💖

Hi hon!

I want to tell you, it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and you're an amazing support to your brother. You should be so proud of yourself.

I think you need to think about what is best for you and your mental health. If speaking up to your parents about your brother could end in them getting mad at you, it might not be a good idea. You've been doing amazing at supporting him while staying quiet, and I know he knows you support him. It might be best for yout o quietly educate yourself online without making a fuss, until you aren't relying on your parents as much for money, food, and shelter- kind of like your brother did.

This also might be a good thing to talk to your brother about, too. Like you said, this could affect him, and he probably knows your parents well. He might have some good advice <3 But you don't HAVE to stand up to them if it's not good for you. It's okay to educate yourself, and be an ally in other ways <3

Naming you history anon <3

(also wish your brother luck on his top surgery for me!)

[sunless-not-sinless]

shitGPT

for uni im going to be coding with a chatGPT user, so i decided to see how good it is at coding (sure ive heard it can code, but theres a massive difference between being able to code and being able to code well).

i will complain about a specific project i asked it to make and improve on under the cut, but i will copy my conclusion from the bottom of the post and paste it up here.

-

conclusion: it (mostly) writes code that works, but isnt great. but this is actually a pretty big problem imo. as more and more people are using this to learn how to code, or getting examples of functions, theyre going to be learning from pretty bad code. and then theres what im going to be experiencing, coding with someone who uses this tool. theres going to be easily improvable code that the quote unquote writer wont fully understand going into a codebase with my name of it - a codebase which we will need present for our degree. even though the code is not the main part of this project (well, the quality of the code at least. you need it to be able to run and thats about it) its still a shitty feeling having my name attached to code of this quality.

and also it is possible to get it to write good (readable, idiomatic, efficient enough) code, but only if you can write this code yourself (and are willing to spend more time arguing with the AI than you would writing the code.) most of the things i pointed out to the AI was stuff that someone using this as a learning resource wont know about. if it never gives you static methods, class methods, ABCs, coroutines, type hints, multi-file programs, etc without you explicitly asking for them then its use is limited at best. and people who think that its a tool that can take all the info they need, and give it back to them in a concise, readable way (which is a surprising lot of people) will be missing out without even knowing about it.

i got it to write tic-tac-toe (the standard babee) in python (the lang i have to use for uni ;-; (held at gunpoint here)). my specific prompt was "write me a python program for tictactoe that is written in an object oriented way and allows for future expansion via multiple files"

it separated it into three files below (which i think would run, but i never actually ran any of this code. just reading and judging)

why does board use display instead of __str__ and __repr__?

why is the board stored as 1d instead of 2d? thats just confusing

why does it never early return aside from check_winner? (not a big issue here but kept on choosing to never early return when i asked it to add more methods)

why is there no handling of non-number user inputs?

why are non-int inputs truncated instead of telling the user that they should input ints only?

why is display implemented like that?

why are so many lines so bloody long (wide)?

why is there a redundant self.check_winner() after the while loop in TicTaacToe.play()? and if it wasnt redundant then you could finish the game without there being anything printed telling you that the game is finished?

why is the only comment useless? (this comment wouldnt be useless if it was a doc comment tho, but it aint a doc comment. speaking of, why is there no doc comments?)

these are the more immediate things i saw, but there are other things that are bad here.

whenever i write * this is where it updated the api without changing any usage of the api.

so i ask it to change board.display into __str__ and __repr__, it changes it to __str__*, it does not add a __repr__. asking it to add a __repr__ 1) removes the __str__ and 2) gives me this (the other methods are unchanged)

what. the. fuck. this would imply that board takes in an argument for the boardstate, but it clearly doesnt. after 4 more asks it finally has both __str__ and __repr__, without fixing the fact its implying board takes an optional arg, so i get it to add this arg. anything that needs to print the board still calls display btw.

the reasoning it gave for using display over the repr and str magics was this

While using __str__ and __repr__ is a more idiomatic approach in Python, choosing to have a separate display method can still be a valid choice, especially if the display logic is more complex or if you want to keep the __str__ method for a more concise or formal representation of the object.

which, erm what? why would __str__ be for a concise or formal repr when thats what __repr__ is for? who cares about how complex the logic is. youre calling this every time you print, so move the logic into __str__. it makes no difference for the performance of the program (if you had a very expensive func that prints smth, and you dont want it to run every time you try to print the obj then its understandable to implement that alongside str and repr)

it also said the difference between __str__ and __repr__ every damn time, which if youre asking it to implement these magics then surely you already know the difference?

but okay, one issue down and that took what? 5-10 minutes? and it wouldve taken 1 minute tops to do it yourself?

okay next implementing a tic-tac-toe board as a 1d array is fine, but kinda weird when 2d arrays exist. this one is just personal preference though so i got it to change it to a 2d list*. it changed the init method to this

tumblr wont let me add alt text to this image so:

[begin ID: Python code that generates a 2D array using nested list comprehensions. end ID]

which works, but just use [[" "] * 3 for _ in range(3)]. the only advantage listcomps have here over multiplying is that they create new lists, instead of copying the pointers. but if you update a cell it will change that pointer. you only need listcomps for the outermost level.

again, this is mainly personal preference, nothing major. but it does show that chatgpt gives u sloppy code

(also if you notice it got rid of the board argument lol)

now i had to explicitly get it to change is_full and make_move. methods in the same damn class that would be changed by changing to a 2d array. this sorta shit should be done automatically lol

it changed make_move by taking row and col args, which is a shitty decision coz it asks for a pos 1-9, so anything that calls make_move would have to change this to a row and col. so i got it to make a func thatll do this for the board class

what i was hoping for: a static method that is called inside make_move

what i got: a standalone function that is not inside any class that isnt early exited

the fuck is this supposed to do if its never called?

so i had to tell it to put it in the class as a static method, and get it to call it. i had to tell it to call this function holy hell

like what is this?

i cant believe it wrote this method without ever calling it!

and - AND - theres this code here that WILL run when this file is imported

which, errrr, this files entire point is being imported innit. if youre going to have example usage check if __name__ = "__main__" and dont store vars as globals

now i finally asked it to update the other classes not that the api has changed (hoping it would change the implementation of make_move to use the static method.) (it didnt.)

Player.make_move is now defined recursively in a way that doesnt work. yippe! why not propagate the error ill never know.

also why is there so much shit in the try block? its not clear which part needs to be error checked and it also makes the prints go offscreen.

after getting it to fix the static method not being called, and the try block being overcrowded (not getting it to propagate the error yet) i got it to add type hints (if u coding python, add type hints. please. itll make me happy)

now for the next 5 asks it changed 0 code. nothing at all. regardless of what i asked it to do. fucks sake.

also look at this type hint

what

the

hell

is

this

?

why is it Optional[str]???????? the hell??? at no point is it anything but a char. either write it as Optional[list[list[char]]] or Optional[list[list]], either works fine. just - dont bloody do this

also does anything look wrong with this type hint?

a bloody optional when its not optional

so i got it to remove this optional. it sure as hell got rid of optional

it sure as hell got rid of optional

now i was just trying to make board.py more readable. its been maybe half an hour at this point? i just want to move on.

it did not want to write PEP 8 code, but oh well. fuck it we ball, its not like it again decided to stop changing any code

(i lied)

but anyway one file down two to go, they were more of the same so i eventually gave up (i wont say each and every issue i had with the code. you get the gist. yes a lot of it didnt work)

conclusion: as you probably saw, it (mostly) writes code that works, but isnt great. but this is actually a pretty big problem imo. as more and more people are using this to learn how to code, or getting examples of functions, theyre going to be learning from pretty bad code. and then theres what im going to be experiencing, coding with someone who uses this tool. theres going to be easily improvable code that the quote unquote writer wont fully understand going into a codebase with my name of it - a codebase which we will need present for our degree. even though the code is not the main part of this project (well, the quality of the code at least. you need it to be able to run and thats about it) its still a shitty feeling having my name attached to code of this quality.

and also it is possible to get it to write good (readable, idiomatic, efficient enough) code, but only if you can write this code yourself (and are willing to spend more time arguing with the AI than you would writing the code.) most of the things i pointed out to the AI was stuff that someone using this as a learning resource wont know about. if it never gives you static methods, class methods, ABCs, coroutines, type hints, multi-file programs, etc without you explicitly asking for them then its use is limited at best. and people who think that its a tool that can take all the info they need, and give it back to them in a concise, readable way (which is a surprising lot of people) will be missing out without even knowing about it.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Kinou Nani tabeta. aka My Heart is Full aka I suck at titles

Let me just say before anything else. This is not a recap or a review. This is me feeling the need to write down my feelings because they are pouring out of me. This is more a personal note than anything else so skip it if that's not your thing.

I always watch this show on saturday mornings, with my coffee and breakfast, because it gives me a boost for the weekend. And I wanted to postpone the final episode as much as possible but I just couldn't. I gave in.

Second FYI. This will probably be incoherent and a mess because that's how I feel. Also, this fucking menopause (surgical, don't give me too many extra years) is really making a mess of my emotional state this week, so I'm all over the place. Also I might've had some wine. Also this may be a bit long. I think that's it.

How I got here

So, I've loved cinema since I was like 7. (yeah I'm going really back in time) Because my mom like films, she dragged to the cinema even when I was way too young for whatever was on. [ Fun Side note- The first film that I saw in the cinema was Bram Stoker's Dracula, when I was like 6, and my mum got into an argument with the cinema employee because" I am her mother, and I'll decide what she can or can't watch"and so I did watch it.]

So I always loved watching films, talking about them and eventually went to uni to learn how to make them. During that time, I went through a phase (which happened to a couple other people in my school) where I kinda got emotionally detached from the stories. I could only see the camera angles, the lighting, the editing, etc.

When I was done with uni, and had decided that editing was my favourite thing I started doing a bit of work in editing, mostly online stuff and a couple of ads in London, and 3 years later I was done. Obviously there were life factors and health factors that contributed to this, but still I left it all behind.

Then, I quickly went back to being able to watch stories with all the emotions.

Let's skip forward to present day.

Kinou Nani Tabeta? feel in my lap by way of my very first BL. Seven Days. I watched those films and went through all the emotions and needed more. More of that serotonin please.

So I got in research mode and that's when I found this wonderful world of BL and eventually this show.

Now, a little bit more about me, just in case you aren't sick of me talking about myself. I'm not a jolly person. If you asked anyone that knows me irl, they would describe me as someone who always thinks the sky is falling. However, I also love a lot of things deeply, and when it comes to things that I can't find a word big enough for it I call it magic. So I'll use it here.

Kinou Nani Tabeta? is magic.

If this show was a meal then the absolutely right ingredients were found, they were put in the hands of the best cooks and everything was prepared with love and care. This show that I love, was put together by people who love it, and couldn't not make it. This is what I believe. It's my kind of faith.

I've seen so many shows, I've loved so many of them, a lot of them touched me deeply. But only a few touched me this way.

When there is love in something, real care and empathy in the making of something, you can feel it, I believe. And I feel it so much watching this show. I get emotional just writing this.

I wish I could thank every single person that made this show possible. And we could argue all day about the quality of a show, its actors, writers or directors. I could argue why my favourite show is better than your favourite show, and why your show is more important than my show, and why that show failed and another succeeded. I will not argue about the importance of this show and my faith is unshakable.

Maybe because I love food so much and in my life my love filled moments were always around food, I connected at first with Kenji, because his reactions to food resemble mine. But this season Shiro stole my heart and soul. His quiet but profound way of loving Kenji made cry more than any sad scene ever could. And onions and chicken thighs will forever have deeper meaning in my kitchen. These two characters are so well written and so well acted, the words are so layered and so meaningful, that it's a miracle to me that it exists and that I got to watch it.

I'm sure other people will write much better posts about this show, and will probably be better (at a hell of a lot more on point) at writing about all the amazing things that this show has done. But I'm an emotional wreck and I could only write from a personal place today.

I'll be rewatching this show in it's entirety soon, because the evolution of these characters, Shiro specially, was such a joy to witness.

If you read this far, thank you. 💜

[jamneuromain]

Rambles

Yeah, so a while ago I complained about the fact that a uni stood up on me and wasted my time and energy. And also that approximately two months ago I finally landed myself a job.

This is just a small update on my life so far:

So this college where I teach English - not exactly perfect, per se, but the interesting thing about being the top English speaker (not to brag, no one can speak English better than me in the campus, and I'm not counting the students) of the whole college, earns a lot of opportunity and chances. Although I still loathe the way people operate in favors and bureaucracy, I have been offered a chance to head overseas.

This chance demands that I need to speak German - which I could, reluctantly thanking the four years I spend in my university as an undergraduate; and that I should know something about traditional ... stuff - which I also could do, and not bad at it, I might add. For me to earn this chance, I need to prep a lot of paperworks and probably go through a couple of exams and interviews, but I want this opportunity so damn much. More than anything I've ever want except for the time when I applied for Cambridge lol.

Wondering for a full day now, that it appears that things I've learned in the past have a way of finding themselves back to me. Like German, I need to pick it up again. Or like the traditional cultural things that I've learned almost fifteen years ago.

Anyways, it's still early to make the conclusion whether I'd make the final list of this programme so far. But it's just that, I don't know whether to feel happy or confused about the fact that things I've learned in the past were ... useful? Afterall?

And that the faculty overseas didn't have the German-speaking programme for a couple of years, and that it just happens that this year, they have it? Fate has a mysterious way of working thing out.

[fitzrove]

hello duchess of fitzrovia,, I see on your Mate interview translation video that you learned german for 3 years before being able to translate the video. may I ask how you learned? do you have any tips? thanks and stay well!!

Hii, thanks for asking! :D

This got long, so TL;DR:

1) Immerse yourself by putting yourself into situations where you truly have to speak/try to understand German to get through it. (Can be "I desperately want to understand this information I found online, but I won't unless I decipher and translate it".)

2) For listening and reading: Seek out a topic area you're genuinely interested in and learn about that in German. (I've never found Duolingo or other apps like that super helpful or interesting/motivating...)

3) For speaking practice especially, consider "real" language courses! For pronunciation, consider making musical cover songs your hobby xD (This is genuinely how I've gotten most of my pronunciation practice.)

I've been passively learning German for about 8 years now (started listening to German-language musicals in 2016), but I did only start learning actively and with intent in 2021. My "official" studies have been:

An A1 basic course in 2021 (6 weeks, 2ish hours a week)

A B1.2 Goethe course in 2023 (10 weeks, 2 hours a week)

A failed attempt at a B2.2 course in 2024 (stopped going because I got too busy with uni), and another B2.2 attempt that I'm currently completing :D

However, I would say that I've learned most of the language on my own, from watching musicals and interviews, reading books, articles and blog posts, and finally immersion - moving to Germany into a city where a lot of basic life things won't get done if you can't speak the language. For example: my apartment building caretaker (who gave me the keys and who I needed to call to fix my shower drain a month in) didn't speak any English, and neither did people at the tax bureau, town hall, supermarket, regional theatres... On trains, some important announcements will only be given in German, and some museums don't give all of their guided tours in English. This has been a huge help for me - sometimes it's a headache, but it does teach you a lot!!!

The major advantage in taking courses, though, is that there's 1) someone to motivate/"force" you to do vocab and grammar exercises, 2) someone to give feedback and corrections, 3) a group to practice speaking with. The last point has been the most helpful for me, I think, because learning super eclectically means that my skills are kind of unbalanced... I read academic texts really well if I can look up individual words & I understand speech in most situations, but I struggle a lot with grammar and independent writing, and I used to be nervous speaking before starting to practice more formally in a classroom setting where there's help.

I think the most important tip I can give is to just dive in - force yourself into situations where the only way you get what you want is by speaking German or figuring out what words mean :D I picked up basic vocabulary and phrases from listening to musicals and reading transcriptions (important!) and translations of the songs I was listening to, and from there, it was easy to expand. For reading, I really recommend finding something that you're organically interested in otherwise (for me it's been 19th century history research and primary sources from that era, as well as musical theatre stuff); for listening, I recommend looking up documentaries/music/movies that you would also watch if they were in English. In many language classes they will purposefully teach you about German/DACH culture and show students "classics" from those countries, and while that's also important, I think for independent learning it's more effective to find something that you're really, genuinely personally passionate about.

I still Deepl difficult words and make a huge amount of grammar mistakes when speaking (my current course includes one-on-one discussion hours with the teacher which has been so helpful, but she needs to interrupt me about once a minute with "syntax... SYNTAX!!" xD) but I get complimented a lot on my German skills, largely due to the fact that I speak confidently despite the mistakes & have a decent accent >:)