#Father and Son Quotes

[sodamnbored]

New parent Bruce at two in the morning: Why aren’t you in bed?

9-year-old Dick, sitting at the table eating ice cream: Because I’m in the kitchen.

Bruce tiredly, digging out some coffee: And why are you in the kitchen?

Dick: Because it’s where the ice cream is.

[olailamajnoon]

Tim: so do you have Tumblr.

Bruce: no.

Tim: get it! Please! It will be so much fun. *sees Bruce looking doubtful* Also a bonding experience 😌

Bruce: uh okay.

Bruce: *buys Tumblr*

The next day:

Bruce: Tim I have Tumblr now

Tim: that's great Bruce! So, what's your username? I can think of a few dumb ways you would try to sound smart.

Bruce:...uh

Tim: it's fine if you don't wanna tell me.

Bruce: you meant

Bruce: you meant an account

Tim:...

Tim:...yes?

Tim: Bruce.

Tim: what did you do.

Bruce: Uh nothing. I—excuse me a moment.

*Goes into next room and phones Lucius*

Bruce: Lucius. I need the purchase to be anonymous. Completely anonymous, not a word of it gets out! Especially to my family.

Lucius: uh huh...sure. Anything I can do to make you look less ridiculous.

Bruce: what are you talking about.

Lucius: never mind. As usual, I know nothing.

*Lucius keeps the phone*

Bruce: *coming out* So. Tim. Where were we.

Tim *looking up from his smartphone with a shit-eating grin on his face*: You're fucking with me. Tumblr? You thought I was telling you to buy—?

Tim starts laughing uncontrollably, literally rolling on the floor.

Tim: Bruce you complete and utter DWEEB 😭

(continues laughing)

Bruce:

Bruce: well I suppose this could be considered bonding.

[metamorphesque]

― Ivan Turgenev, Fathers and Sons (translated by George Reavy)

[voltaical-art]

im in agony. a little self indulgent but I think wyll deserves to be told he's loved and have a small breakdown about it

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Bobby: C'mon we’re stealing this fire engine to help Athena. Buck, shocked: Wait, really? We're stealing together? Bobby, already tired: Yeah yeah, just get in and gloat about it later. Buck: Just wanted you to admit it.

[venusasnb]

[gothamite-rambler]

Red Hood (singing while deflecting a punch): Oh, ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves. And deep down I know this well. I lost my best friend, I lost my mentor, my mom. 500 men gone, this can't go on!

Batman (trying to get his son's attention): Red Hood.

Red Hood (enjoying himself while dodging a punch): I must get to see my family so if we must sail through dangerous oceans and beaches, I'll go where Aquaman won't reach us.

Red Hood knocked out three goons without pulling out his gun and still singing with ease.

Batman (kicking a goon in the stomach): Okay it's impressive how you're changing some of the words, but stop singing!

Red Hood (singing, ignoring his father): And if I got a drop another infant from a wall in an instant so we all don't die

He flipped a man to the ground as Batman tried to speak, but his theatre obsessed son wasn't taking a pause.

Red Hood (big finish): Then I'll become the monster! I'll deal the blow! And I'll become the monster like none they've ever known! So what if I'm the monster lurking deep below? I must become the monster and then we'll make it home!

Batman punched his son in the arm to silence him.

Batman: Cut that shit out!

Red Hood (rubbing his arm, pouting): You're no fun.

Batman (punching a goon that snuck up behind him): Did you agree to team up with me just to piss me off?

Red Hood (coy, but sincere): That was one of the reasons, yes. I like fighting with you, too. I think we both know how to fight well enough that I don't have to shoot anyone.

Batman: I... That was actually nice to hear.

Red Hood shrugged.

Red Hood (singing): I'm just a man.

Batman groaned with a small amused smile.

[hisbucky]

Bobby: This thing with Tommy, it's going good? Buck: You just asked that question last week. Bobby, rambling: Right. Of course. Just a check in. Tommy's good people, so I understand there's no problem for you to talk about with me — Buck, grins: Do you want me to talk to you about my relationship, pops? Bobby: Yes, please.

[amicus-noctis]

“…Many things interested her, and nothing satisfied her entirely.” ― Ivan Turgenev, Fathers and Sons

[fanonsupremecy]

Tony: How high are you?

Peter: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet.

Ned: No, he's asking what drugs are you on.

Peter: Oh, antidepressants, why?

[theladydothtalktoomuch]

Bruce: People always asks “who is Batman?” No one ever asks “how is the Batman?”

Damian: he’s a grown man dressed like that calling himself “Batman.” They know.

[violent138]

Bruce: *gotta make the compliment look real, can't be too flattering or he'll know I'm buttering him up*

Dick: *only hears the negativity*

Bruce: *wait no, fuck*

Bruce: *I've got it, sneaky compliment by discussing tactics*

Bruce: *haha fucking nailed it*

[metamorphesque]

― Ivan Turgenev, Fathers and Sons (translated by George Reavy)

[starry-bi-sky]

Snippets for my Clone^2 Au that I thought was funny...

in incorrect quotes style format (Clone^2 = Both my Clone Damian Au and Clone Bruce Danny aus combined)

Snippet 1: Danny and Damian meeting for the first time

Danny, avoiding Damian's katana: I don't wanna know who made you I don't wanna know who made you I don't wanna know who made you Danny: pleASE STOP TRYING TO STAB ME

------- Snippet 2: Danny and Damian meeting (Alternative)

Bby Damian: gets dropped off in the ONE city where his dad's clone is Danny, internally: damn I don't wanna know who made you

Danny: alright little buddy, lets -- *blocks Damian's sword* please don't stab me -- let's get you something to -- *blocks Damian's sword* please don't stab me -- something to EAT

------------- Snippet 3: Danny checking out books in the library Librarian: oh, are you trying to learn arabic, Mister Fenton?

Danny: oh- uh, yeah :) my parents recently,,, took in a foster kid from overseas,,,, but we found out he doesn't know english and he's having a hard time adjusting Danny, lying (only partially) through his teeth: so I,,, thought,,, maybe it would help him acclimate to his new environment if I learned some arabic :) Librarian: oh how sweet! let me know if you need any help, i can find you more books Danny: thank you

----------

Snippet 4: Damian wants to patrol Damian: let me come with you on patrol Danny, 16 year old idiot who fights without powers: uh. no. you are Itty Bitty Child Damian: comes with anyways

----------- Snippet 5: Damian, trying to fight a ghost without a ghost-proof sword: Danny, catching him and holding him against his chest: *radiating exhaustion* no,,,, no,,,,, not yet,,,,

-------- Snippet 6: danny has an epiphany Danny, realizing that he needs to set an example now that Damian is coming with him on patrol: fUCK Danny: I NEED AN ACTUAL SUIT ---------- Snippet 7; dynamic duo Danny: what is it with you and batman and robin???? Damian, silently sweating: ,,,,,,,because they are exemplary partners and i would like to think that us two are the same Danny, doesnt know identities: ...aww??? thats kinda sweet??? okay :)

---------- Snippet 8: hypocrite Damian: dijaal (affectionate) Danny, on day ?? of solving a cold case after a ghost asked him to: hrbhk - Damian, what are you doing up? it's late, you have school in the morning Damian, staring at him deadpan: you have school too. you should go to bed Danny: five min..utes buddy. then i'll go to bed Damian, grabbing the back of his rolling chair and pushing him to bed: no. now. danny, with eyebags the size of the marianna trench: ...fine. now.

--------- Snippet 9: ...the line Danny, doing homework with Sam and Tucker: Danny: *has an epiphany* wait. shit Tucker and Sam: ...? Danny, his head in his hands: am I Damian's dad or his brother?? Danny: wh- what do we define this??? Tucker: ... you're brothers until its funny? and then you're his dad?

----------- Snippet 10: learning Danny: reading a book about learning arabic Damian, slamming his hand down on the book to get his attention: dijaal, *points to book* kitab Danny, frowning: what? Damian, tapping book: kitab Danny: ..ki..kitab? Kitab? Book? Damian: Boog...book. *points to table* tawila --------- Snippet 11: clone reveal Damian, later after he knows enough english and months of chilling out: i am a clone.... meant to kill my original Danny, internally: wow you don't say? Danny, out loud:..huh. okay. thanks for telling me, uh, same here. except that last part

---

Dijaal = imposter Damian is affectionately calling Danny an imposter because danny is a clone of bruce :)

[the-fyre-flie]

Teen Bruce Wayne, about 13 or 14, still in his angry grieving era, attending some gala or charity event with Alfred as his chaperone, aka very loving and protective godfather hhhh

Alfred is trying so hard to manage his son, keeping a hand on Bruce's shoulder and steering him away from anyone who might start prodding at the boys temper. He's been at Bruce's side like a shadow, encouraging him to talk to other people but also reigning in any conversation as soon it starts to become obvious that the topic of Bruce's parents might pop up. Bruce spends the entire night glaring and scowling. Because he's so young still, and the deaths are still considered recent, most people understand to leave him alone.

Everyone knew this unspoken rule except one tourist douche. An out of state business man trying to get closer to the center of power in Gotham, going out of his way to introduce Bruce to his daughter before exclusively talking to Alfred like Bruce doesn't exist. Chatting up the butler and asking about finances blah blah blah. Then he says something that just ticks Alfred off. It's either something about the Waynes death, or Bruce being unfit to be an heir if he's so anti social, whatever, he insults the Wayne family and Alfreds serenity snaps.

If you could hear the hushed threats Alfred was saying, you'd understand why war has rules.

Anyways yeah please let Alfred be scary and cool more often he's literally my goat and he loves his son <3

[hayden-christensen]

Obi-Wan reached out, then hesitated. He felt a strong urge not to wake the boy, to let him sleep like this forever, to forever anticipate a great adventure, forever dream of personal triumph and joy. This feeling held too much sentiment and weakness to be allowed, but he allowed it nevertheless. This must be how a father feels, looking down on his son, worried about an uncertain future, Obi-Wan thought. I would hate to see him fail. But I would hate far more to lose this boy. I would almost rather freeze time here, and freeze myself with it, than face that. — Greg Bear. Rogue Planet.