#Fat Burning Recipes during

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

got any silly voxval headcannons? (Maybe velvette too idk)

like for example who cooks out of the three of them

Of course you can <3 I'm a really angsty girlie so I don't know how silly they actually are but there you go:

None of them can cook, but that's not really a problem for Vox and Velvette. Vox could survive on plain bread and black coffee for eternity, while Velvette could eat only candies. Val, on the other hand, is the ultimate hedonist. He's all about the tasty, full-fat fast food or gourmet stuff, and he's always pushing for takeout. Come on, guys, we're fucking rich, let's order something. Sure, they could hire someone to cook for them, but Vox is too paranoid to let an outsider near their food. He's still on the hunt for a chef who can match Val's extravagant tastes and is willing to sign off soul. If they had to pick someone to cook, Vox would probably be the best bet since he's the only one who can actually follow a recipe.

Velvette is the smartest when it comes to managing finances. Vox technically doesn't like to waste money but he has a taste for luxurious stuff, he can't resist an expensive car, fucking show-off. Valentino basically burns money on every useless shit he likes, I bet those crystals he badazzled his gun with were real diamons.

Velvette helps Val maintain his fluff, and he styles her hair. It's a cute little trade-off they've got going on.

Valentino has a habit of breaking electronic devices and downloading malware. Vox hates him for it.

Vox can easily go 72h without sleep, fueled by coke and rage. Valentino occasionally drugs his coffee to put him down to sleep, because after 68th hour all electronics in the tower starts malfunctioning.

Val used to be a full-time performer, but now he's more like a RuPaul—lending his face to the brand and only occasionally gracing the stage. But every time he does perform, Vox makes sure to be there front and center.

Their schedules are very incompatible and they have to spend a lot of time managing their businesses but they have weekly appointments to do catch up and discuss strategy. Those are usually very unserious, they end up hitting the bong and playing Mario Cart.

There was this one time Vox tried hitting on Velvette because she's totally his type. It was awkward as hell, and they both agreed to never speak of it again. Valentino has no idea about it.

Valentino would really want to have a dog but Vox really likes dogs so he doesn't allow him to get one by imposing strict anti-pet policy in the tower.

Val knows all of Vox's and Velvette's kinks and sometimes produces custom porn for them as gifts.

As much as they love spending time together, Val and Velvette can't stand watching TV with Vox because he gets overly emotional and doesn't allow to skip commercials because he enjoys them

Vox occasionally invites Val to be a guest judge on reality shows, which always skyrockets ratings but sometimes ends nasty for the contestants.

Val's obsessed with textures, especially nice fabrics. Give him a nice fluffy blanket and he will shut up for 15 minutes fixated on touching it.

Vox, with his business and strategic management degree, sometimes tries to pitch these ideas to Velvette and Valentino, he's like Guys, have you considered using the BCG matrix? Ever heard of SWOT analysis? We should discuss KPIs. They mock him relentlessly for it.

Val once tried putting drag makeup on Vox's face, and let's just say the result was... less than glamorous.

During their honeymoon phase, Vox and Val fucked everywhere. At first, Velvette found it amusing, but eventually, she grew to hate it. She finally snapped when she found out they'd fucked on the dinner table and she set it on fire.

Val "secretly" ghostwrote some trashy smut novels (they are absolutely horrible, worst Wattpad shit you could dig out). Vox secretly bought and read every single one, finding plenty of references to himself along the way.

Vox loves it when Val wears stripper platforms, even though it makes their height difference even more ridiculous.

Valentino's wardrobe takes two entire rooms and still expands. Vox doesn't know how to stop it.

Vox owns a few lingerie sets, only because Val loses his fucking mind whenever he wears them. Velvette designed them herself and keeps photos of Vox wearing them as blackmail material, just in case.

[monpalace]

ships .. (ocarina of time/majora's mask) link/reader, fierce deity/reader.

content .. the boys (separately) with a reader who feeds them well, and the fruits of their loving labor.

warnings .. unedited. no pronouns used (you/your). reader is implied to have more meat on their bones (vaguely). reader is in their housespouse era and they aren't even married (legally). non-graphic vomit and forgetting to eat mentioned (link). link and fierce deity are taller than reader. fierce deity is named aram for writings sake. reader is implied to be a god of sorts (fierce deity). fierce deity is literally my oc at this point.

notes .. my schnookums thought they could have big cheeks and get away from me? my cutie patooties thought that i wouldn't write about them eating right? my pookie bears thought that i wouldn't fulfill my duties as their #1? my baby faced sweethearts thought i wouldn't spend 2hrs looking for pictures like those? my favorite white boys? my honeybuns? my hollywood stars? my sugarpies?

i'll eat them. omnom

LINK has always been rather thin. That was especially the case when he was a child. Something about a Kokiri child's diet not fitting what a Hylian needed always kept him frail.

When you both were children, he had quickly gotten used to you plucking his arm when it was idle to compare his lack of fat to your surplus.

(He never minded. He always looked forward to being reminded why he put one foot in front of the other every day during his fight against Ganon, or repeated cycle after cycle when it came to Majora.)

(Funnily enough, you had always made fun of him for being shorter than you as a child as well. You always mentioned he needed to drink more milk and eat more cuccos so he'd one day pass you.)

It was when you were able to cook more than simple meals and wouldn't risk burning down your cottage that you would invite (force) Link over more often than you already have.

Link had always tried to limit his visits to when he absolutely needed to. Free food, bed, shelter, care, supplies, clothes, bathes (the list was endless), and whatnot were always appreciated, but he never wanted to become to comfortable lest he wake up one day (or night. Or afternoon. His internal clock was always ruined when it came to sleeping at your cabin) and decide not return to the world outside.

He does his best to turn down any seconds, or thirds, or fourths, or fifths, and so on you may offer him when he does stay long enough for you to finish whatever extravagant meal you made just for him.

Past experiences often make him sick (with trauma or physically) and result in him vomiting his food, but there's always more from you to replace what he had just eaten and the meal before (if he remembered to eat it).

What he can't finish at the table (or on the sofa, or in the bed), he takes with him when he leaves. Link is respectful in all meanings of the word and hates to leave anything to waste.

When it comes to thanks, he either finds ways to help around your cottage or brings back items from new regions for you to cook. Whether it be repairing the busted bathroom door you've been complaining about before fixing your water faucet so the pressure is what you want it to be, or bringing back a spice the Gorons specialize in you've mentioned wanting to try, Link typically feels his gifts fall lackluster when compared to your treatment of him.

(He trusts your skill and creativity enough to know you won't poison him on accident. He never brings back any recipes or instructions either if it's not a dangerous material.)

(He's always excited to try whatever new dish you've concocted, so his only condition is that you wait for his return to cook whatever it is he brought you. "A celebration, of sorts," he calls it.)

A look in a lone puddle had told him his cheeks had gotten fatter. He supposes he now understands why he was refused entry into one of the pubs when he had to retrieve Malon and Cremia's uncle.

He had noticed that the details of his arms were less visible through his shirts when a Goron had pinched one,— not in the same way you did when you were younger— he had mentioned that he had an amount of muscle and fat to be proud of before asking him to join a tournament. Any attempts prior to were quickly shut down.

During a day of horseback archery with the Gerudo, the sweltering sun had gotten to him enough that he had to remove his tunic and the shirt underneath to feel some sort of relief. One of the women who were training him took a look at his stomach and nodded approvingly, mentioning that he should praise his soon-to-be spouse for feeding him so well.

The last nail in the coffin came when he was riding Epona into Castle Town. His tunic felt uncomfortably small and his tights (curse those damned tights) felt as thought they were stretched more across the expanse of his thighs than they usually were.

He's back in your cottage when he finally vocalizes his thoughts, preferring you to any other tailor or seamstress in the country. "I've gotten to big for my clothes," he either sighs or signs to you while eating. His gaze held a thousand yards in them, idly watching his clothes move with the wind.

The tunic, hat, tights, boots hang outside the window on a string connected to your shed. They had to be washed after a (admittedly well-planned— even if they don't think) ambush by a hoard of chu-chus.

You throw a hazy look to them before returning to the bowl you were tirelessly mixing. You were making dinner, he thinks, or maybe it was in preparation for the big breakfast you were making with the variety of bread from the Gerudo he brought back.

You'd already given him a large snack earlier.

The thought makes him look down at the plate in his lap. Every spot of it was filled and piled with bread, and eggs, and meats, and jams. He couldn't see the white bottom of it even as he pushed and prodded around.

He takes a bite of it gratefully.

"I saw you before you left not even three days ago. You fit everything fine enough to me." At some point you had stopped stirring and held the bowl out to him. Link grabs something off the plate and dips it in without a thought, eating it before responding with a hum of approval. "I can make adjustments to then, if you'd like."

You leave the bowl with him before attending to something on the stove.

"Please," he responds, halfway through another bite of the (what he now recognized as) Gerudo bread and cocoa dip you had made. "Different pants would be nice, though. It'd be a nice excuse to finally get rid of those tights." Both tasted sweet by themselves, he realized, but left a calmer aftertaste that he'd like to savor.

"You've always hated the tights," you hum in response, moving from the stove to the coolers that he'd built you after bringing you a large fish that only lived in Zora's Domain. "What would you want to move on to now? Leggings? Shorts?"

Link watches you remove a pitcher from one of the coolers. He isn't sure how long it's been in there (he doesn't even remember watching you make it), but he assumes you took some ice out so the pink liquid wouldn't freeze over into complete ice.

He watches you try to take a cup from one of the cupboards, watching you struggle to grab his favorite one from the higher shelves.

He stands from the chair sat just outside the kitchen (he liked to watch you cook when you had the time), placing the bowl and plate on one of the many cleared counters (you liked to clean as you worked), and grabs the cup for you.

Link lowers his head with his hand when he hands the cup off, head resting upon the crown of yours as he watches you pour the pink liquid into it, idle arms wrapping around your waist as he makes some slick comment about eating enough milk and cuccos for your liking.

You don't elbow him in the stomach like you might have when you were younger and he doesn't hold the cup above your head teasingly like when he was younger to (— then again, he had to climb a counter to get it out of your reach.)

Instead, you wordlessly pass the cup back to him and he wordlessly drinks it despite not knowing what it was.

He likes it, as he does all your works, and notes how it was both sweet and sour. A taste that fills both his childhood need for sweet all the time and his older palate's need for other tastes.

Handing the cup back, Link tilts his head so he can press a kiss to your crown. "Anything you'd think I'd look good in," he finally responds, the flavor of the moment leaving a tooth-achingly sweet taste on his tongue.

ARAM is often humbled in your abode.

He may have acted arrogant to others in his younger years and horrifyingly aloof now that he's a more seasoned god, but he never failed to (willingly) crumble to his knees when in your presence during either times of his life.

He had no need for the sustenance mortals require, prayers and whispers of his name were always good enough for him, but he'd kiss the ground you walk on if it meant you'd bless him with another food you've created (he already does).

Aram is the provider to your fire-lit home, an arrangement the two have been living by for as long as he can remember.

He is the sword to your shield. The arrow to your quiver. The moon to ever burning sun (which he did create for you, after all). The wound for your gauze. The life to your world— and one cannot live peacefully without the other.

Your food had quickly become an addiction to Aram. He'd eat as much as often as he could, giving little response to when questioned why he loves it so much.

("Because it comes from your hands," he once explained hours later when you were sleeping. "Your hands, that create all. That nourish all it touches and replenishes all that is extinct. I am your antithesis, and I must destroy that which I love."

(You never had the heart to ask again.)

He has enough sense to slow his eating around you. One concerned comment about him choking was enough for him to indulge in needless your wishes, but a question regarding its taste had him eating like a mortal.

His relationship with food prior to getting hooked onto yours was brief and filled with obligation. He never ate to feel full, only to make the people he was fighting with shut up and leave him out of whatever conversation they were having.

It never lingered in his stomach like a warm fireplace that others had described it as. It never made him warm and filled with love. It never gave him the energy he needed to keep fighting.

It just went through his digestive tract (why did he even have one?) and disappeared like an heavy smog finally dispersed by a strong gust of wind before he had to fight again.

When a war was over, you always came. You took the battle-shaken soldiers away when it was their time and healed their ailments if they were able to withstand everything. You went through war-stricken cities and set everything as they should have been. You feed and clothe and bandage and sew and reunite and Aram isn't sure why he lingered.

He's seen the effects of what you can do long after you've left. He knows of the good you're capable of doing just as much as he knows the bad he can cause.

He craves your touch when he sees it at its peak. He indulges himself when he sees it first-hand.

Aram understands what the soldiers mean when you beckon him closer and offer him food, uncaring of how he stands tall above all else.

The soup warms his insides. The flavor resides on his tongue hours after he's finished it. His energy, though far from depleted, had made him feel as though he were a youngling again.

He craves more.

The addiction to your presence and your food (and subsequently, you) had started then. It's an event he could easily recall when asked, one he would happily recount to you if you ever forgot where his devotion to you started.

Meeting after a war or battle had become frequent enough that he had finally learned your name; not some silly alias those who followed you often referred to you as. He felt like one of those lovesick children soldiers talk about, tripping over himself and his words.

He's curious to you, an admirer more than a stalker, fortunately. When he wasn't on the battlefront, he was always hovering around as you worked, busying his hands with whatever task you've given him after noticing his lack of mortality.

You treated him well; doing so even after the era of wars were long gone and he was seldom needed. You cared for him as though he were one of the many wounded soldiers with no family to return to once all was done and said— and to an extent, he was.

He's eating when you bring attention to his softer thigh.

You were reading to him, a romantic thriller that held as much of his attention that your captivating voice did. His gaze focused heavily on you, watching as you lick your lips after each page, how your eyes rake over the page to ensure the tone you speak the next sentence in is correct. He notes how you shift less often, how he doesn't have to move you further up his lap so you can lean against his stomach.

"It's not as painful to sit on you anymore." Aram doesn't think that line was in the book, but he doesn't mention it. It dawns that you were talking to him when you look up, using your finger as a bookmark as you closed the book around it. "Have you gained weight?"

He's a big man; it's a fact he's known since the beginning of his existence. He has large arms, muscles well know for how he snatched prey up to bring back to you. His height made it a simple feat to reach into the trees and capture any avian you wanted to experiment with that night. His legs that would stomp on any fish swimming downstream during a day at the lake you suggested.

He was sculpted by the Goddesses themselves. If they hadn't meant for his body to change along with his lifestyle, they wouldn't have designed him to dough.

(He'd never be ashamed in the fact either. He was contented knowing he had someone to dote over him constantly; a sentiment he had gained after recalling a conversation with wedded soldiers.)

(Also, the prospect of defacing what the Goddesses had long since disgraced was exciting, in a way.)

Aram doesn't look at himself, already well-acquainted with his body as his brow raises in amusement. "You feed me well, My Grace," he responds with a peck on your temple, "I would hope to become more comfortable for your pleasure." He refused to stop eating as he indulged you in conversation, the leg you sat on jumping once in place of his busy hands.

You hum that sweet, quiet hum of yours that Aram has come to associate with your contentedness (he aimed to hear to several tomes every day). Removing yourself from his lap, discarding the novel to the side as you raise your hands to cup his cheeks. "It suits you. You look healthy. Happy."

"Did I look ill before?"

You don't fluster as you might have like in your younger years. He's honored to have grown alongside you, reminiscent of the older couples you've both watched and escorted when he was still an active god.

The same filling feeling your food gives him fills his heart. The lingering sense of peace that he felt since meeting you dancing through his body when your thumbs rub the apples of his cheeks, the softest and fondest gaze anyone's ever given him in your eyes.

"No," you answer in a quiet voice only he'd be able to hear. "Never. You've always looked perfect."

And Aram has never been more thankful that he separated himself from the Goddesses as he preens under your touch. Never been more thankful that he lingered after the war was done. Never been more thankful that he had readjusted his psyche to more readily accept your gifts and affection.

He frees a hand to cradle to back of your head, a threat to all that aren't you, and brings you beneath his chin in a protective gesture. "As have you," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. "And as you always will be."

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

MDZS characters getting a wax

Don't ask why because I don't know either.

Wei Wuxian: it's important for him to be able to trust and vibe with his aesthetician! If he finds someone he can be comfortable with, someone that's chill and doesn't take themselves too seriously, he's a client for life! Has absolutely no shame letting his aesthetician all up in his business, literally and figuratively. Is besties with them, actually. He doesn't seem to feel much pain either - the dive from up the cliff in the Burial Mounds must have given him a pain tolerance I guess.

Lan Wangji: he's so quiet. And so rigid. Don't try having him shift in any position that might be in any way embarrassing either, he will get up and leave in the middle of the session. His ears burn so red all throughout even though nothing embarrassing is going on. Leaves a massive tip for his aesthetician for the trouble so it's a win-win.

Lan Xichen: he makes small talk with his aesthetician, is friendly and polite but he's screaming inside actually. Covers it up with conversation but the hitches in his voice and the trailed off sentences are a dead giveaway he's going through it. Immediately gets himself a sweet treat afterwards as aftercare.

Jiang Cheng: would rather go through Guanyin Temple fifty times over than step foot anywhere near a salon.

Jin Guangyao: customer service smiles all through it but he's gripping the side of the waxing table like it owes him money. He tries at polite conversation sometimes but prefers silence over it. Hugely appreciates music being played during the session.

Jin Guangshan: banned from all salons ever.

Jin Zixuan: has his own private aesthetician and everything. He's very particular about it. But he is very restless and annoying because he has a low pain tolerance. Curses all through it but his aesthetician is too busy hearing the sound of their fat cheque to care. Well, at least he doesn't have to worry about this now anymore I guess.

Nie Huaisang: he plotted the whole of his revenge with his aesthetician actually.

Nie Mingjue: tried it once because Huaisang insisted he wasn't strong enough to go through it. Never spoke of it once he came out of there and he's never gone again.

Wen Chao: salons refuse him service on principle

Xue Yang: shaves because he likes blades.

Wen Qing: it relaxes her and so she falls asleep during the session often. Her aesthetician lets her nap for a bit once she's done because she doesn't sleep nearly enough.

Jiang Yanli: also naps through it, it's her quiet private time away from people. Shares all her recipes with her aesthetician and gives them a lot of advice if they seem troubled with something.

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Ianthe Tridentarius Propaganda Post

shes tall pale and has no ass. she has the ability to manipulate her fat distribution so she chooses to look like a wet cat. everybody forgets about her because her sister is so hot, but while everyone else is fucking around and trying to figure out whose been killing people, shes been figuring out the secrets to an ancient necromantic theorem. it turns out her hot sister isnt actually a necromancer and ianthe has been doing the work of two necromancers her whole life. she regularly does cannibalism. she eats the soul of her cavalier, who nobody cares about, and becomes a saint of the king undying. her sister is deeply upset that she did not eat her. she gets her arm ripped off by one of the original states. she performs a lobotomy on one of the main protagonists because she asks her to. they have immensely homoerotic tension but its entirely one sided. she cries every night. her soup recipe amounts to burning onions on the bottom of a pot. the scene in which said main protagonists creates her an arm out of bones is the closest the series has to a sex scene. she meets the other main protagonist and says "but your fist is so large and my ass is so small". she stops god from being killed, which everybody hates. in the space between books, she has a terrible terrible no good friend ship with the main protagonist i mentioned before. i love it. they probably fucked and it involved chussy. they have friendship bracelets. she possesses the body of her dead cavalier who nobody cares about to gallavant around in. shes dangerously obsessed with her sister, who after not being eaten has been radicalised and now is a leader in an insurgent cell. she is the target of "then perish" during the epilogue. apparently in the next book she is going to do something horrible. i love her immensely. she has very few redeeming qualities. she is my ebst friend

listen. she ate a man's heart to become immortal. she is described as the shadow of her twin sister. she calls the protag a fruitcake. she will betray anyone and anything to get what she wants.

Wet Rat who sucks commits cannibalism for won her way through the lyctor olympics of the first books ate her cavalier to go to gods party swinger yatch. She has no fucking idea of what she's doing but she's slaying all day everyday, literally and figuratively. Made everyone believe that her twin sister was a super good necromancer while her sister has no powers by necromancing for her in secret. Idk she's just. She's just so.

The uglier of the supposed pair of the genius necromantic princess twins. Jk, she’s the only necromantic one she's just so good she seems like two geniuses combined, she flies under the radar, doesn't take part in gruesome lessons on powerful necromancy but just figures everything out by thinking alone, kills a dude she known her whole life the moment she learns it will give her more political and magic power, does a truly villainous monolouge when caught for that murder cause who cares about a male dying why are you so mad. Then later murders her much stronger beloved mentor the minute she's asked to gain even more power and prestige and from a princess of one planet becomes a saint and prince and military powerhouse of a divine empire, loyal only as long as her hotter twin sister is safe, truly an inspiration for all feminists everywhere

[cure-icy-writes]

During the third Unova Regional championships, a competitive battling scene that was the precursor to the modern Battle Subway, a pikachu named Chester managed to sweep the competition using a new strategy: electro ball. Pikachu is something of a speedy sweeper with the added bonus of its ability, Static, slowing down any pokemon that would take it down and hindering their movements. In terms of body fat, there's an ideal ratio for a competitive pokemon, with defenders being heavier during battling season and attackers being lighter.

Chester was unique because he'd been bred specifically to be lighter with a long tail that enabled him to be bipedal longer, and he used a primarily Electro Ball strategy with a speed boosting item and Agility on his moveset that enabled him to oneshot any pokemon that wasn't a ground type.

It's worth noting that Chester's attack was much lower than the standard for his species, partially because he wasn't holding a light ball, partially because he simply lacked the fat to burn that would give him the power he needed. But he compensated for it with such blinding speed that his opponents were crumbling before him, and the idea of speed based strategies became far more popular.

Hence, people started experimenting with pokemon who were lighter weight. Emolga was a prime choice at the time, and the competitive scene became more intense, with tournaments held more often.

Breeders were scrambling to keep up with the demand, and this is where the cheese comes in. Moomoo milk is highly nutritious and prized for this reason, but the milkfat was an issue, as it didn't fit the ratios that breeders were using to achieve the ideal speed-based mon. So, skim milk became popular! But they had to do something with that milkfat to prevent food waste, and so a group of Kalosian immigrants stepped up and founded what is now known as Five Star Foods. They started cultivating cheeses and coming up with new recipes to make it part of Unovan foods, and it became a wide success!

[clangenlore]

rookclan: in pursuit of knowledge

current leadership

lyrestar | 143 moons | shameless | beloved kitsitter

an eccentric old fellow, lyrestar is old as dirt and usually covered in the stuff to boot. his eyesight is failing and he's missing a few teeth, but by starclan he's not retiring yet! he was a bit of a casanova back in the day, siring litters with multiple she-cats before finally settling down with his current mate, a former kittypet named mae. he loves kits and can often be found playing with his great-grandkits in the nursery. not as technologically-minded, he prefers digging for grubs and gathering clay for pottery; his polydactyly makes his paws great shovels. his tail was burned in an accident when he was a young warrior, and since then the firekeepers have banned him from handling fire.

cherryhawk | 70 moons | responsible | great hunter & fast as the wind

cherryhawk is a very capable deputy, and at this point she's the leader of rookclan in all but name. her birth was a difficult one, leaving her without a tail and with a permanently weak leg, which she usually keeps wrapped in leaves to compress it. she earned the suffix -hawk in honor of her speed, which helped her catch and kill an actual hawk during her assessment. she likes to keep physically fit and often races her otterclan rival along the border. her level-headed nature makes her the ideal cat to curb her clanmates' reckless enthusiasm.

swanplume | 124 moons | troublesome | prophecy interpreter finchbeak | 124 moons | righteous | good healer yewberry | 29 moons | thoughtful | keen eye & dark forest affinity

swanplume and finchbeak are rookclan's elder healers; they're littermates and, surprisingly, lyrestar's younger aunts. much like their nephew, they refuse to retire. they're meddlesome old she-cats and love to gossip and nag. both of them bear scars on their faces thanks to their job requiring close proximity to their clanmates' sometimes-explosive invention accidents. most of rookclan prefer swanplume to finchbeak, whose abrasive tongue makes for poor bedside manner.

yewberry is their much younger apprentice. his demeanor is much calmer and quieter than his denmates', though his tendency to stare at things no one else can see makes him somewhat intimidating. while all of rookclan let their curiosity guide them, yewberry's interest parallels his name: he cultivates toxic plants and experiments with them. he attempted to ingest small doses to try and make himself immune to his poisons, but his first attempt went wrong and cherryhawk forbade him from doing it again. so naturally he's continued doing it, just in secret, and much more carefully.

culture

inquisitive and innovative, rookclan cats are relentless in their pursuit of knowledge. thanks to their experiments and inventions, they're the most technologically-advanced of the clans, developing rudimentary tools, crude wheels, and even a simple written language of glyphs. what's more, rookclan cats have even managed to harness the power of fire. only specific cats are permitted to start fires, however; these cats, called firekeepers, undergo extensive training in order to control the flames. with this fire, rookclan is able to cook their prey, a practice the other clans find odd. dried minnows and smoked jerky are favorite rookclan snacks, often squirreled away in caches marked by stone cairns. another rookclan recipe involves mashing grubs and meat scraps, using bird eggs to bind them, forming them into small cakes, and frying them in fat.

because of their keen interest in learning, rookclan routinely hosts outsiders, engaging in fascinated conversation and exchanging knowledge. thanks to this, rookclan cats believe in a greater variety of gods, spirits, and superstitions; when you're playing with explosive compounds and hazardous materials, you'll take the help of anyone you can get.

rookclan actually has two camps, one on a grassy knoll overlooking a cliff that falls into a gorge, and another on the steep face of the cliff, accessed through a system of natural caves and cat-made tunnels. the primary camp on the surface is where the young and old live, as well as warriors assigned to routine patrols. the secondary camp on the cliff face is occupied by those performing dangerous experiments, using fire or sharp tools, or working with hazardous materials. this area wasn't always a camp, but became one to prevent inventors from falling asleep at their workbenches. the gorge below, meanwhile, is a dumping ground for human garbage, which rookclan cats love to collect and tinker with, if only to discover how these objects work.

[clairelutra]

things that helped me so much in the kitchen

realizing i could drag a chair over and plop my ass down even during more intense phases of cooking. there is no requirement for this except a sturdy structure at sitting height and a desire to Sit.

taking out all the ingredients i need for the recipe at the start and putting them away as soon as i wouldn't need more for the recipe (start with a full kitchen, leave with a dirty but largely empty one)

keeping in mind that most fats are interchangeable chemistry/balance wise, and the only things to look out for are a) if they're solid at room temp and b) flavor profile

relatedly: mixing fats to raise the smoke points of more delicate ones when frying (e.g. adding olive oil to butter to keep it from burning so easily, or adding canola oil to olive oil to save my fire alarm)

chopping everything that needs to be chopped before i start

[ducksandknights]

Eyeshield 21: Winter 2023 Gift Exchange

This is my piece for @eyeshields! I was working with the prompts winter vacation + getting cozy, and to me there’s nothing more warm and close during winter break than baking together.

I really hope that you like it! 🎄🏈

The door to the kitchen bursts open with a force that rattles the walls, and Kurita drops the scoop of flour he’s been measuring. A cloud of white rises into the air before settling on his face and shirt like a layer of dust.

“Hiruma!” Kurita swipes at his eyes with the back of his hand, which only pushes the flour further into his eyelashes, eyebrows, and even his hairline. “Are you here to help with the cookies?”

Hiruma stares at him, then glances at the mass of dough on the countertop that’s nearly twice the size of Kurita’s head. With a snort, he jabs the barrel of his machine gun into it. “They not feeding you enough over vacation, fucking fatty?”

Actually, Kurita could go for a light snack about now. It had been almost two hours since breakfast.

He shrugs and begins counting on his fingers. “I just want to say thank you to Sena-kun, and Monta-kun, and Yukimitsu-kun, and Mamori-chan, and everyone who joined the Devil Bats.”

Kurita pauses, weighing everything he’s feeling and everything he wishes he could tell Hiruma. That he’s so grateful. That he’s so happy. That he wants to win, and more than anything, he wants to win with this team and these friends.

But Hiruma likely won’t put up with all that mushy feelings talk, and so finally Kurita just says, “I want to say thank you to them for making our dream… possible.”

Hiruma narrows his eyes and plants a strong, solidly aimed kick into Kurita’s backside. “We haven’t achieved anything yet, idiot. And you can say thank you by winning our next game.”

But unasked, he slings his machine gun off his shoulder and begins rolling up his sleeves.

Kurita’s smile is so wide his cheeks hurt. Turning to the recipe, he double-checks it to make sure the oven is preheating at the right temperature, and then pulls out a second cookie sheet for Hiruma to use.

“So what are we making?” Hiruma rips off a hunk of dough and starts to shape it between his long fingers. “Fat fucking beardies in suits? Little toy-making slaves? AK-47s that say ‘Win, Devil Bats!’ on them?”

Kurita is not about to give out cookies with icing threats as a way to say thank-you to his friends, but it is a very Hiruma-like idea.

“We have to roll the dough out first,” Kurita reads. “After that we can cut it into shapes. I thought we could make everyone’s faces as a way to cheer them on?”

As Kurita reaches for a rolling pin, Hiruma pulls out another gun—from where, Kurita can’t begin to imagine—and rests the cylindrical barrel on top of the dough. They both roll out their respective halves back and forth, back and forth until two thin and more or less even sheets of dough have taken up the entire counter.

Kurita begins humming a cheery and festive tune that he can’t quite remember the name of, and the two get to work cutting and lining up dozens of raw cookies onto the baking sheets. While Kurita finds it easier for his large hands to work with cookie cutters, Hiruma has enough skill and dexterity to carve shapes out of the dough with a knife. Every so often a nasty-sounding kekeke cuts through Kurita’s song, and he smiles thinking his very best friend is having just as much fun as he is.

Though his progress is slower than Hiruma’s—about one in four raw cookies end up in Kurita’s mouth before they can make it onto the tray—eventually everything is ready to bake.

Kurita sits on the floor in front of the oven, silently cheering the cookies on as they cook. Maybe it’s because they’re shaped like his friends, but in a silly way he feels like if they turn out well then so will the team. So as he waits, he wills them not to burn, and Hiruma comes over to rest his gun-slash-rolling-pin atop his friend’s head and begin cleaning it.

“There’s a tradition in some countries,” Hiruma begins casually, which is enough of a red flag for Kurita to know that what’s coming out of his mouth isn’t about to be casual at all. “It’s called a king cake. They hide a coin or a plastic baby inside for good luck.”

He cackles and leans against Kurita’s back, popping a stick of gum into his mouth. “Fucking stupid tradition, if you ask me. Devil Bats don’t rely on luck. So I put something else in a few of the cookies instead.”

Kurita glances at the butt of the gun jutting out beside his head, then looks up. “Hiruma!”

“It’s a reminder from their captain—they better be ready to work their asses off!”

The laugh from his body is raucous, and Kurita can feel the vibrations of it. It’s enough to end his protests before they really start.

A bullet isn’t enough to crack anyone’s teeth, is it? It will probably be fine—after all, Hiruma wouldn’t do anything to seriously get in the way of their teammates’ playing.

Kurita makes one more wish for his friends’ safety and good health.

Once the cookies have come out of the oven and cooled, the icing can begin. Kurita looks at their blank forms, trying to imagine iced hair and eyes, but something is missing.

“We should draw Santa hats on everyone, too!” he exclaims suddenly. Why didn’t it occur to him before? “I want everyone to think of the Christmas Bowl when they see their cookies.”

Hiruma snaps a piece off one and pops it into his mouth. “Tastes disgustingly sweet,” he says, wrinkling his nose up in distaste. “Last thing they need is extra icing.”

Hiruma watches over Kurita’s shoulder as the lineman clumsily begins outlining faces and hats. His hand isn’t steady, and the icing tube is hard to control—it comes out in a thin line at first, and then all at once, and Kurita has to scrape some of it off into the sink. By the time he’s done with Eyeshield’s mask, it’s nothing but a green smear with a few wobbly white lines running across the bottom.

Mamori’s turns out particularly rough, one eye practically off the cookie entirely and a crooked, toothy smile that could rival Hiruma’s. Her hat looks more like a horn has sprouted from her head rather than any sort of Christmas accessory.

Hiruma snatches the cookie off the counter and howls with laughter, twisting and turning it under the light.

“This,” he says between breaths, “this is some real blackmail material. She pulls that fucking ogre face exactly when someone steals the last cream puff!”

Kurita scrambles to take the cookie back, knowing Hiruma is near impossible to steal from both on the field and off it—and knowing that somehow, magically, it’s already been immortalized in Hiruma’s book.

“Please put Mamori-chan down,” Kurita begs, making a dive as Hiruma dances nimbly out of the way. He looks up from the floor. “She’s supposed to feel like giving her all when she receives it!”

Hiruma squats down in front of him and dangles the cookie over his head. “You offering a deal?”

Kurita nods so vigorously that his head brushes against the floor. “Anything!”

Dropping Mamori’s face into Kurita’s outstretched hands, Hiruma stands and brushes his hands off on his pants. “Then you’re icing my cookie next, and when I see it, it has better make me feel like we made it to the Christmas Bowl.”

Kurita blinks, caught off-guard. For as long as he can remember, Hiruma had set his jaw over winter vacation and simply run their practices harder and longer. It made Kurita sad to see his friend like that, determined but a little bit ragged, pushing himself harder and harder while watching his goal stay just out of reach.

But this year—this year was different. Wasn’t this the first time Hiruma had participated in something really feeling like winter spirit?

And Kurita has been waiting for this joy, this spark, for a long time.

Trying not to feel too embarrassed, he shuffles around to the other side of the counter. “Actually… I made yours already. Though I know you don’t like sweets.”

Now it’s Hiruma’s turn to be surprised. Kurita is pulling out a celophane gift bag with a snowflake ribbon tied around it, inside which is a stack of messy cookies that have something resembling his own face iced on.

They’re all smiling, eyes drawn arching upward as little crescent moons, and it’s quite possibly the least malicious Hiruma has ever looked in his life.

He laughs again, realizing how easy it’s been to do tonight, and takes the bag from Kurita’s hand.

“I’ll eat them,” Hiruma declares, stomach turning a little at the thought. “No matter how fucking disgusting they are, I’ll eat them all. No fucking cookie is going to get in the way of giving my all for the Christmas Bowl.”

Kurita beams at him. True, he’s not 100% sure what that means, but it’s definitely good.

It’s definitely how Hiruma should feel over winter vacation.

“Actually…” Kurita starts, and when Hiruma looks up the fucking fatty’s arms are full to the brim with bags and bags of holiday cookies. “I made a few test batches of you, too…?”

Hiruma reaches for his machine gun.

[scotianostra]

January 23rd is National Pie day.

Is it really a year since I last posted on this? Last year I took us on a journey of our Nations favourite, The Scotch Pie, everyone has their go to Butchers or even Bakers for theirs. The Killie Pie is legendary, The Macaroni Pie is another legend, you can still get this elsewhere, but Greggs discontinued their version in 2015. The  Mince Tattie and Baked Bean Pie was always a favourite of mine growing up, our local bakers did a great job of this, sadly the bakers is no more. And this time of year you can find Bells Steak and Haggis usually on offer at the supermarkets throughout Scotland, especially for Burns Night, which is only a couple days away.

Anyway this year I want to concentrate on the Steak Pie.

Us Scots love a steak pie to celebrate the New Year and cannot get enough of them, according to industry experts. But why has it become an annual tradition across the country?

One theory holds that steak pie became the national dish at New Years because January 1 wasn’t generally taken as a holiday so families were too busy to cook.

They would buy steak pies to feed their families instead, this continues to this day as people want a delicious meal after the previous night’s celebrations. So you could say it was essentially one of the first ready meals.

Or is it that the Steak pie is the nation’s hangover cure on what is often the roughest morning of the year for many, after a night of celebratory drinking?

Another theory is that because it is a big meal you can keep warm and serve to visitors throughout the day, as people come to the house. I don't buy into that one, we Scots always put on a spread on the table, Shortbread, Black Bun, even Dundee Cake was waiting for any first footers and others coming through the door in the wee sma' hours.

In days gone by oor mammies used to cook their own steak pies. so here's a recipe for a traditional Scottish steak pie, as seen in the main pic.

Things you’ll need to make a Scottish Steak Pie

Large Pot/Pan

Mixing Bowl

Pie Dish.

Ingredients

800g Diced Beef Stewing Steak (Approx 2lb)

2 tbsp Plain Flour

2 tbsp Olive Oil/Butter

2 Large Roughly Chopped Onions

500ml Beef Stock (Approx 2 cups)

35ml Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce, Pronounced – Wooster-sher ( Approx 0.14 cups)

1 tbsp Tomato Puree

1 tsp Dijon Mustard

Salt and Pepper to taste.

Now my mum always cheated buy buying ready made Puff Pastr, but you can make your own.

Add ons

Many Scots swear by a Steak and Sausage pie, rather than just steak alone. We don’t mind adding sausages also, but personally like to have just steak most of the time. However, this recipe is easy to adapt if you want to! We’ll share more in variations below, but you can add 4-6 sausages if you like as well.

ake your mixing bowl and toss the beef in the plain flour, this will help insulate the meat while browning as well as helping the sauce to thicken. You can season the flour to help add an extra depth of flavour if you’d like.

Heat your pan and oil/butter, once hot add the onions and cook until soft.

Once the onions are soft add the beef to brown it, this should only take a few minutes.

This process of browning simply means to lightly cook the surface of the steak to caramelize it and add a richer flavour to the meat.

Once browned add the stock, Worcester Sauce, Tomato puree, Dijon mustard and seasoning.

Bring the mixture slowly to the boil.

Once it begins to boil reduce the heat and allow to gently simmer for 2.5 hrs.

During this time stir occasionally and, if you have a gas stove that doesn’t have a low enough setting to simmer keep rotating the pan to avoid too much heat in one place.

If you’re adding sausages (see variations) then you can chop and add them about halfway through cooking. If they have a high fat content you may want to fry off in a separate pan or even boil for 10 minutes to remove some of the fat so that the pie won’t get too greasy.

Once the sauce is good and thick and the meat is breaking apart nicely tip the mixture into the pie dish, it should be roughly 3/4 full.

Preheat your oven to 180°C or 356°F, approx gas mark 4.

Cover the top of the pie dish with the rolled puff pastry, use your thumb or a fork to push down or crimp the edge of the pastry along the rim of the dish, helping to seal the mixture and the flavour in.

Make a hole in the centre of the pie to allow steam to exit during cooking.

Place your pie into the preheated oven for roughly 30 mins or until the pastry has risen and is golden brown.

You can find this recipe and more like it at https://scottishscran.com

[timetraveltasting]

TEXAS CHILI (1910)

You might call me crazy, but I decided to make a piping hot Tasting History recipe during one of the hottest weeks of the year. That recipe is for Texas Chili, published by the Gebhardt Chili Company in their 1910 cookbook, Mexican Cooking: The Flavor of the 20th Century. Early versions of chili were made up of meat that had been fried in fat and stewed with roasted, dried, ground up chili peppers, not far off from this recipe. While its origins are debated, most sources lead to chili stemming from what is now Texas, but was at the time part of Mexico. While many versions of chili today have many ingredients - beans, corn, etc. - the original was very simple: just meat fried in its own fat and ground up chili peppers. This Tasting History recipe, while using similar ingredients, specifically uses Gebhardt's Chili Powder, one of the early companies which created a pre-ground chili powder (which also contained garlic and other spices). In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, around the time this recipe was published by Gebhardt's, the Chili Queens of San Antonio would bring huge pots of chili to the plazas of San Antonio, heat them up over mesquite fires, and serve up piping hot bowls of chili while dancers and musicians entertained the patrons. Sounds delightful! I decided to make this dish for a unique reason: I developed an allergy to red tomatoes when I was a teen, and have been chasing a good non-tomato chili recipe ever since. What luck, that the original chili recipes didn't contain tomatoes! So, I am especially excited for this Texas Chili. See Max’s video on how to make the dish here or see the ingredients and process at the end of this post, sourced from his website.

My experience making it:

I did have to make a few changes to the ingredients, unfortunately. I couldn't find tallow anywhere, so I used lard in its place (I read online that they have similar smoke points and savoury flavour). Most crucially, I couldn't find anywhere to buy basic chili powder in my area of Germany, nevermind Gebhardt's Chili Powder (which is still sold in the US today, apparently). Strangely, Gebhardt was a German immigrant to the US, but in present-day Germany (at least in my area), it was impossible to find a chili powder that would taste similar to an American one. There were chili flakes, dried chilis, and sweet paprika (the favourite spice of the Germans), but no chili powder to be found. I settled on making my own version of Gebhardt's chili powder using 'Paprika rosenscharf' as my base. I mixed 2 tablespoons of this with 1/2 tablespoon garlic powder and 1/2 tablespoon cumin (the garlic is listed as an ingredient by Gebhardt, but so is 'Spices', so I used cumin for that part). I ended with a pretty good stand-in for chili powder - it smelled and tasted right. For the beef, I used pre-chopped goulash beef to make my life a little easier.

I mixed the beef and lard (tallow replacement), then seasoned with salt. I melted more lard in my pot, fried the onions until a little crisp, then added the beef. I stirred quite constantly, for fear of burning the beef. Like Max said, the amount of lard bubbling in the pot was pretty impressive, and slightly worrisome for my health, but it did eventually boil down after 45 minutes or so. When the beef started to dry up a bit and as it began sticking to the bottom of the pan a bit, I added the water and my makeshift chili powder; the dish immediately turned a brilliant red. At this point, I had forgotten to chop the garlic, so I did so as fast as I could and threw it in. Luckily, the simmer time was so long for the beef to turn tender that the garlic still got a proper chance to flavour the dish. It simmered for just over an hour, and I did stir it once in a while to make sure nothing caked onto the bottom of the pan. I still am not entirely sure how it thickened, but it did somehow! I was surprised by this, because Max's version looked thinner. I served up two hot bowls for my husband and I, accompanied by a side salad and a bit of bread for dipping.

My experience tasting it:

My first spoonful was so lovely and flavourful, and the beef was nice and tender, not chewy at all. I could taste the faint onion and garlic flavours, but the chili powder was really front and centre. There was definitely a decent amount of spice to it (at least compared to Max's), but I think this could have been due to my improvised chili powder's spice ratio. The chili was thicker than I expected, but this made for great dipping with the bread. Both my husband and I cleaned our bowls completely, so this Texas Chili was definitely a hit. I do wonder if that had to do with the amount of lard in it, but I prefer not to think about that part, if I'm honest. I had hoped there would be leftovers I could leave in the fridge overnight in order for the flavours to intensify and give us another delicious dinner the following day, but nope: we ate the entire pot! I would definitely make this recipe again despite its long cook time. However, due to the amount of lard in it, I would only make it once in a while, as a special treat. I think there are so many ways to customize this recipe, either by adding beans, corn, or other vegetables, or by adding a couple extra spices for a change. Chili is a simple and hearty dish, but part of its charm is in how many variations there are. Going forward, I might just make this my base recipe for (tomato-free!) chili that I will change up a little each time I make it. Maybe one day, someone will call me a Chili Queen, too! If you end up making this dish, if you liked it, or if you changed anything from the original recipe, do let me know!

Texas Chili original recipe (1910)

Sourced from Mexican Cooking: The Flavor of the 20th Century by Gebhardt Chili Company, 1910.

Cut two pounds of beef into one-half inch squares, add about two ounces chopped tallow, then salt it. Use a high pot (granite-ware is best), heat in this pot two tablespoonsful of lard; add to this a small-sized chopped onion; when the onion is about half done, add the meat; stir well until the meat is separated and white, then let steam or parboil (with cover off) over a rather hot fire, stirring frequently until the juice of the meat is boiled down, and when it starts to fry add about one and one-half pints of hot water, three tablespoonsful of Gebhardt’s Eagle Chili Powder and a few buttons of chopped garlic; stir well and simmer until meat is tender.

Modern Recipe

Based on Mexican Cooking: The Flavor of the 20th Century by Gebhardt Chili Company (1910) and Max Miller’s version in his Tasting History video.

Ingredients:

2 lbs (1 kg) beef

2 teaspoons (12 g) salt

1/4 cup (55 g) tallow

2 tablespoons (30 g) lard

1 cup (142 g) onion, minced

3 cups (700 ml) hot water

3 tablespoons (25 g) chili powder, Gebhardt’s Eagle Chili Powder for extra authenticity

2 tablespoons (28 g) minced garlic

Method:

Chop the meat into small cubes, about 1/2 inch.

Mix the beef and the tallow together, then add the salt and mix.

Melt the lard in a pot over medium heat and add the onions. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring so they don’t burn.

Add the meat mixture and cook, turning the meat frequently. Once all the meat has some color, continue to cook stirring every few minutes.

Once the juices have cooked off and the meat is left frying in the fat, add the hot water. Make sure the water is very hot, almost boiling. Add the chili powder and garlic and stir until everything is mixed well.

Bring the pot to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer with the lid off for 1 to 1 ½ hours. The time will depend on the heat and the cut of meat you’re using. Mine took an hour for the meat to get nice and tender. You shouldn’t have to add any more water, but keep an eye on it because if the water all boils away, the chili will burn.

After the chili has simmered and the meat is tender, serve it forth and transport yourself back to the plazas of San Antonio when the Chili Queens reigned.

[ketoyumyum]

Ultimate Guide to the Best Keto Diet Food List: Top Foods to Stay in Ketosis

The ketogenic diet, commonly known as the keto diet, has gained immense popularity for its potential to help with weight loss, improved energy levels, and overall health. At the core of this diet is a high-fat, low-carb approach that shifts the body into a state of ketosis. To succeed on this diet, it’s essential to know which foods are best suited for it. In this article, we'll provide you with the best keto diet food list that will help you stay on track and achieve your goals.

Think you know the keto diet? Test your knowledge with our interactive quiz! 🧠💪 Find out how much you really know. Take the quiz now.

What is the Keto Diet?

Before diving into the best keto diet food list, let’s briefly understand what the keto diet is. The keto diet involves drastically reducing your carbohydrate intake and replacing it with fat. This reduction in carbs puts your body into a metabolic state called ketosis, where fat, instead of carbohydrates, becomes the primary fuel source.

Benefits of the Keto Diet

The keto diet offers several benefits:

Weight Loss: By cutting down carbs, the body burns fat for energy.

Improved Mental Focus: The brain uses ketones, which are produced during ketosis, as a fuel source, leading to better mental clarity.

Stable Blood Sugar Levels: The keto diet can help manage blood sugar levels, which is beneficial for people with diabetes.

Best Keto Diet Food List

When following a keto diet, choosing the right foods is crucial. Here’s the best keto diet food list to help you stay in ketosis and enjoy a variety of delicious meals.

1. Healthy Fats and Oils

Healthy fats are the cornerstone of the keto diet. Here are some of the best sources:

Avocado Oil: Great for cooking due to its high smoke point.

Olive Oil: Perfect for salads and low-heat cooking.

Coconut Oil: Rich in medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs) that support ketosis.

Butter and Ghee: Ideal for cooking and adding flavor to dishes.

Nuts and Seeds: Almonds, chia seeds, and flaxseeds are excellent sources of healthy fats.

2. Low-Carb Vegetables

Vegetables are an essential part of the best keto diet food list as they provide fiber, vitamins, and minerals with minimal carbs:

Leafy Greens: Spinach, kale, and arugula are low in carbs and high in nutrients.

Cruciferous Vegetables: Broccoli, cauliflower, and Brussels sprouts are great for keto-friendly dishes.

Zucchini: A versatile vegetable that can be used in place of pasta or as a side dish.

Bell Peppers: Low in carbs and rich in vitamins, making them a tasty addition to any meal.

Mushrooms: Low in carbs and add a meaty texture to dishes.

3. Protein Sources

While the keto diet is high in fat, it also includes moderate amounts of protein. Here are some top protein options:

Fatty Fish: Salmon, mackerel, and sardines are rich in omega-3 fatty acids and perfect for the keto diet.

Meat: Grass-fed beef, pork, and lamb provide essential nutrients and are keto-friendly.

Poultry: Chicken thighs and turkey are great for adding variety to your meals.

Eggs: A versatile protein source that can be used in various keto recipes.

Cheese: Hard cheeses like cheddar and parmesan are low in carbs and high in fat.

Think you know the keto diet? Test your knowledge with our interactive quiz! 🧠💪 Find out how much you really know. Take the quiz now.

4. Dairy Products

Dairy products are another key component of the best keto diet food list, providing both fat and protein:

Heavy Cream: Use it in coffee or keto-friendly desserts.

Full-Fat Yogurt: Choose unsweetened versions to avoid extra carbs.

Cream Cheese: A delicious addition to snacks and meals.

Sour Cream: Perfect for adding richness to your dishes.

Butter: A staple in keto cooking, ideal for sautéing and baking.

5. Nuts and Seeds

Nuts and seeds are excellent snacks that are high in healthy fats and low in carbs:

Almonds: A great source of vitamin E and magnesium.

Walnuts: Rich in omega-3 fatty acids, perfect for keto.

Chia Seeds: High in fiber and can be used in puddings and smoothies.

Flaxseeds: Excellent for adding to keto-friendly bread and baked goods.

Pumpkin Seeds: A crunchy snack with healthy fats and protein.

6. Berries

While most fruits are high in sugar and carbs, some berries can fit into a keto diet:

Strawberries: Low in carbs and can be enjoyed in moderation.

Raspberries: High in fiber and low in sugar.

Blackberries: Another low-carb berry option for keto dieters.

Blueberries: Best consumed in small quantities due to their higher carb content.

7. Beverages

Staying hydrated is crucial, and there are several keto-friendly drink options:

Water: The best choice for staying hydrated.

Herbal Teas: Unsweetened teas like green tea or chamomile are keto-friendly.

Coffee: Black coffee or with added heavy cream is ideal for the keto diet.

Bone Broth: Provides electrolytes and is perfect for those on a keto diet.

Sparkling Water: Choose unsweetened versions for a refreshing drink.

8. Snacks

The keto diet doesn’t mean you have to give up snacking. Here are some keto-friendly snacks:

Pork Rinds: A crunchy, low-carb snack.

Cheese Crisps: Made from baked cheese, these are a perfect keto snack.

Hard-Boiled Eggs: Simple and nutritious.

Olives: High in healthy fats and low in carbs.

Keto Bars: Low-carb bars specifically made for keto dieters.

Tips for Following the Best Keto Diet Food List

To make the most out of the best keto diet food list, here are some tips:

Meal Prep: Plan and prepare your meals in advance to stay on track.

Read Labels: Always check for hidden carbs and sugars in packaged foods.

Stay Hydrated: Drink plenty of water to support your body during ketosis.

Monitor Macros: Keep track of your fat, protein, and carb intake to ensure you stay within your keto goals.

Think you know the keto diet? Test your knowledge with our interactive quiz! 🧠💪 Find out how much you really know. Take the quiz now.

Conclusion

The best keto diet food list is packed with delicious and nutritious options that will help you succeed on your keto journey. By focusing on healthy fats, low-carb vegetables, quality proteins, and keto-friendly snacks, you can enjoy a variety of meals while staying in ketosis. Remember to plan your meals, stay hydrated, and always read labels to ensure you're sticking to your keto goals.

The ketogenic diet is not just a fad; it's a lifestyle change that can offer numerous health benefits. With the right foods, you can achieve your desired results and maintain them over time.

[restorationwellnessinc]

The Many Benefits of a 2-Day Juice Fast: Rejuvenate Your Body and Mind

In our fast-paced, hectic lives, it’s essential to take a break and give our bodies the chance to reset and recharge. One effective way to do this is through a 2-day juice fast. 

While some may associate fasting with deprivation, a juice fast can be a refreshing and revitalizing experience with numerous health benefits.

In this blog, we’ll explore the many advantages of embarking on a 2-day juice fast.

1. Detoxification:

One of the primary benefits of a juice fast is detoxification. By consuming only fresh fruit and vegetable juices, you allow your body to flush out toxins and impurities, promoting overall well-being.

2. Weight Loss:

Juice fasting can be a gentle way to kickstart weight loss. Since you’re consuming fewer calories while still getting essential nutrients, your body may start burning stored fat for energy.

3. Increased Energy:

Surprisingly, many people report increased energy levels during a juice fast. This boost in vitality can be attributed to the easily digestible nutrients found in fresh juices.

4. Mental Clarity:

A 2-day juice fast can also clear the mental fog. Many participants report enhanced mental clarity and focus, making it an excellent choice for a productivity boost.

5. Improved Digestion:

Giving your digestive system a break from solid foods allows it to rest and repair. This can lead to better digestion and reduced gastrointestinal discomfort.

6. Enhanced Hydration:

Fresh juices are an excellent source of hydration. Staying well-hydrated is essential for overall health and can leave your skin looking more radiant.

7. Glowing Skin:

The vitamins and antioxidants in fruit and vegetable juices can work wonders for your skin. Expect a radiant complexion after your juice fast.

8. Better Immune Function:

The nutrient-rich juices can bolster your immune system, providing your body with the vitamins and minerals it needs to fend off illnesses.

9. Reduced Inflammation:

Juice fasting may help reduce inflammation in the body, which can be beneficial for those dealing with chronic conditions related to inflammation.

10. Reset Unhealthy Eating Habits:

A 2-day juice fast can act as a reset button for unhealthy eating habits. It allows you to break free from cravings for processed foods and sugar.

11. Emotional Well-being:

Fasting can have a positive impact on your emotional well-being. It can help you gain control over your relationship with food and promote mindful eating.

12. Promotes Self-Discipline:

Successfully completing a 2-day juice fast requires self-discipline and determination, which can spill over into other areas of your life.

A 2-day juice fast is a short-term commitment with long-term benefits. It can help detoxify your body, boost your energy, and promote overall well-being. However, it’s essential to consult with a medical doctor before embarking on any fasting regimen, especially if you have underlying health conditions. When done safely and mindfully, a juice fast can be a powerful tool to rejuvenate your body and mind.

"Revitalize Your Body in Just 2 Days for Only $19 - Your Path to Renewed Energy and Wellness!"

Here's what you'll get when you embark on this 2-day juice detox journey:

Exclusive Detox Plan:** You'll receive a detailed, easy-to-follow 2-day juice detox plan designed for maximum health benefits.

 Delicious Juice Recipes:** Enjoy a variety of mouthwatering juice recipes that are not only nutritious but also TASTY.

Nutritional Guidance:** Receive valuable information on the nutritional benefits of each juice, helping you understand how it's supporting your body.

Flexible Timing:** Start your detox whenever it suits your schedule – we offer flexibility to fit your lifestyle.

Lifestyle Tips:** Get wellness tips to complement your detox, including mindfulness practices, light exercises, and self-care routines.

Customer Support:** Reach out to our dedicated support team for any questions or guidance you may need during your detox.

Progress Tracking:** Keep a journal to track your progress and see the positive changes in just 48 hours.

Access to Experts:** Connect with nutrition experts for personalized advice and insights.

BONUS Materials:** Receive additional resources like post-detox meal plans and recipes for a seamless transition back to regular eating.

Total Wellness:** Experience the rejuvenating benefits of detoxification, improved energy, mental clarity, and a fresh start toward a healthier you!

Ready to embark on this transformative journey?

Visit Restoration Wellness and get this amazing 2 day fast delivered right to your inbox!

[twig-tea]

Get to Know Me Ask Game

Thanks for tagging me @waitmyturtles, @telomeke, @thegalwhorants!

RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.

Note: @pandasmagorica noted that bolding is not differentiated by screen readers, and I tested this and it seems to be true, so I am going to adjust the sentence structures as they suggested instead. I'm also going to follow what I've seen others do and use small font for the ones that are not true to make it a bit easier for some people to skim visually (screen readers just read the Tumblr formatted words as though they had no formatting). Adding in notes after each section because if you haven't noticed I am verbose lol

APPEARANCE

I do not have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have not gotten plastic surgery // I have not had braces // I sunburn easily // I have a few freckles // I rarely paint my nails // I typically don't wear makeup // I often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I do not wear baseball hats backwards

My hair is naturally brown-blonde, and bleaches in the sun. My preference is tight on top and loose on the bottom! I used to have all the hair colours (blue, red, purple, pink, etc.). Nail polish bothers me so it never lasts 24 hours on my hands. I wear makeup when I go dancing (which in the beforetimes was ~once a month, to the goth alternative/synthpop/postpunk club night I've been going to for a decade! This is also where I give credit for being comfortable with my looks. Nowhere teaches fat appreciation like a goth club). I'm that person who people just start talking to because I have resting pleasant face.

HOBBIES & TALENTS

I don't play a sport // I cannot play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have not won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I do not enjoy writing // I cannot do origami // I do not prefer movies to tv shows // I cannot execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have not read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I cannot do a handstand

I have zero hand eye coordination but enjoyed playing tackle football back in the day. Also used to play viola in high school band but didn't count that. Took Japanese and French in university, though I've lost a lot of both, and am slowly learning Thai. I have tried to learn origami so many times but I just can't make straight lines [insert joke about being too queer for origami here]. Give me a series I can binge over a film any day, though I do like both. I said I could survive in the wild but that's because I have previously had hyperfixations on surviving in various climates...but I'm also allergic to a lot of pollens/trees/grasses/animals so I'm probably deluding myself. I still read fanfiction but not published books. I mostly travel within Canada these days.

‌

RELATIONSHIP

I am not in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I don't have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together// I have dated my best friend // I am not adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have had a long distance relationship // I am not an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

I am pretty sure I'm some kind of demiromantic? Being in a relationship is so uninteresting to me lol and even when I've been in love I did not want to be around them all the time, or talk to them every day when it was long distance (which was a source of conflict). I haven't been in a relationship in over a decade and I don't miss it. Dated my former best friend and it crashed and burned. I'm still close friends with 3 folks I've known since elementary school--that's > 25 years!--so I'm counting them! I have (mostly) learned to ask before giving advice. I've made friends online and met them IRL; even had my first relationship online (so long ago that we exchanged photos via snail mail because digital photos were not yet a thing).

‌

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I do not meditate outside // the sound of chirping does not calm me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I do not pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

I don't know where y'all live but the birds here are not calming lolol they are obnoxious AF (a single chirper, sure maybe). I usually listen to an audiobook I've already read to fall asleep, it's the perfect amount of stimulation that I can tune out/not get caught up in. I am lucky enough to live in a place with sometimes weekly thunderstorms in the summer, with lightning that lasts for hours, it's awesome. I like colours but my visual processing is crap, I don't notice visual things until they're pointed out and have no visual memory. Autumn is the best season! Dry, warm but not hot, beautiful, best food, excuses to dress in layers.

‌

MISCELLANEOUS

I cannot fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I don't live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I cannot drive a stick shift // I don't believe in true love // I don't make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I do not wish I lived in a video game // I do not have a canopy above my bed // I am not multiracial // I am not a redhead // I do not own at least 3 dogs

I can sleep on trains but cars/buses/planes are impossible. And I've been on 16hr plane/22hr bus rides. I definitely have the mom bag in the friend group (full of stuff people might need). I do a lot of extracurriculars: At work I am on the DE&I committee, and the workplace health & safety committee. In fandom I have at various times been part of a scanlation team, a beta reader, a forum moderator, and treasurer for a convention (the first Yuri convention in North America, actually!). And I've also volunteered for municipal election campaigns as a researcher. I am very introverted but also care a lot about my communities and want to contribute to whatever spaces I'm in; that being said I've burned out a few times and have tried to get better at not taking too much on. Re race, I am half-Jewish but as my dad's family is Ashkenazi (from Ukraine on both sides) and my mom's family is white, only other Jews ever clock me as anything other than white so I don't consider myself mixed race.

Tagging folks (sorry if you've already done this, and no pressure!): @incandescentflower @ellaspore @marbles290 @tinycowboybro @benkaaoi @williamrikers @formayhem @sorry-bonebag @troubled-mind @manogirl

[gcldfanged]

3, 6, 18, 21, 24

3. Are there other characters you’re interested in rping or wish to?

The characters I'm obsessing over now are all Tokyo Revengers muses (as you know, LOL), so I'm trying to write down little notes in gdocs when I get ideas. But yeah I think I just might end up playing everybody at this rate.

Maybe Tifa???? I always felt like she had so much untapped potential considering what she survived and went through, like it would make more sense if SHE was the MC of FF7 over Cloud if someone really hates Shinra and has actual personal beef against Sephiroth. I actually thought her Remake personality was pretty lame in that respect, like "but but but i durn wanna hurt ppl :/ uwuwuwu", given her history it would make TOTAL SENSE that she'd believe even Fuhito's book of crazy is the answer to the Planet's ills.

Her dynamic is Cloud is pretty weird and toxic as well, so I'd be open to like exploring that and just seeing where it goes and if they can somehow move beyond it or what??? I never really see people acknowledging it's a thing, it's like the elephant in the room that everyone ignores because then it gets in the way of their 5evur tru otp.

6. Other characters/muns you’re interested in roleplaying with?

I kinda want more crossovers or reasons to come up with new verses for Jae, I just like trying to shoehorn him into someone else's lore and see what happens, LOL.

And of course Verdot... There is just SO MUCH to unpack there.

18. Your muse’s theme song.

Toss up between Yuu Miyashita's cover of Kilmaa as his origin story & Gero's cover of SHANTI as his start of darkness.

21. Three big no-nos to do or say to your muse. (their ‘berserk button’)

Call him one or imply that he is coward.

Insult Verdot/his memory.

Bring up his sister and claim he is now 'the same' as the people who kept them captive (rest in fucking pieces, btw).

24. Send ✍ for the mun to take a crack at imitating your muse. Can be a small silly reply or a more in-depth take. ( Add + plus a scenario or who they’re talking to if you’d like to be more specific)

The streets always seemed to be empty during this hour of the day, the occasional beggar shaking a rice bowl for alms. It was to be expected, they were at war and even when the radio promised victory or death for the glory of Wutai, certain sacrifices had to be made. Three dried fish, 1.8 ounces of pork fat, a sweet potato plant taken from the vegetable fields converted from his elementary school's play yard- All to feed a family of four. If they needed more protein, they'd dig through the backyard to find beetle larvae and roast them with horsetail reed. Watery gruel made from rice day after day, soup broth made from boiled sardine and miso. That was their reality.

His mother took him to the black markets in search of sugar and he'd gawked at all of the items their government claimed to have outlawed- Fine bolts of silk, expensive inks and watercolors, luxury seasonal produce like watermelon. He never asked why or how they hadn't all been confiscated, grateful simply to know that such things still existed and were available- albeit at an inflated price.

Their homeroom teacher was arrested a week later for circulating illegal literature. He and his classmates watched from the bay windows as piles of handwritten and string-bound copies of censored material were burned to ash right in the PE field. His teacher had a rucksack placed over his head and was loaded into the back of a covered military wagon. Even after it had disappeared beyond the school gates, they could hear the rifle's gunshot crack across the sky.

One day, he found a cookbook that had belonged to his nai nai and spent most of his day leafing through it's pages, staring dreamily at glossy photos of pan-seared green beans, black bean sauce with kai lan and giant scallop, salted fish and mushroom stew cooked in a clay pot. It became almost ritualistic, reading each ingredient of every recipe and imagining the taste… the texture of each dish. He swore that he would sit down and eat at least one of his favorites picked from the back index- As soon as the war was over.

Once the war was over, everything would go back to normal.

[strawberrymilkeysblog]

How to get abs on just two weeks?

Hello, my name’s Vilu and I went from a bloated and round stomach to FLAT abs in just two weeks. Today, I’m spilling all the tea on how to get flat abs in really short time with almost no effort.

- Stay in a calorie deficit

My calorie deficit usually stays below 500 calories at day, including around 3 meals. You can calculate your calorie deficit on google just by searching “calorie deficit calculator”. This will tell you which are your maintenance calories, your slight calorie deficit, mid calorie deficit and large calorie deficit.

Any deficit below 1500 calories per day will help you lose weigh fast. If you’re going for a slower option, opt for a higher deficit. But, if you want quicker results, go for 1200 or lower.

Staying in a calorie deficit will help burn off the layer of fat that covers your ab muscles, making them flatter and more visible. If you want me to share some tips on how to stay on a calorie deficit, just leave a comment;)

- Drink antinflamatory drinks.

One of the things that helped me a lot with getting visible abs was drinking stuff that helps with inflammation and bloating. I’m sharing my favorite recipes to reduce/avoid bloating and feel light:

•Matcha latte

1/2 tsp matcha powder + 1 cup low fat milk + zero calorie sweetener

Matcha prevents inflammation, helps reduce blood pressure, increases metabolism and helps with digestion.

•Magical tea

1 tsp cinnamon + 1/4 lemon peel + 1/2 tsp turmeric + 10g minced ginger + hot water

All of this ingredients got properties which help with bloating and digestion.

•Water

Water helps with digestion and bloating since it makes you pee regularly and stay flat during the day.

- Do 10 minute core workouts everyday

Doing core focused workouts are much more effective than just regular ab workouts, since they train your whole core muscles and stability resulting in toned abs.

Search on youtube for “deep core workouts” and do 10-15 minutes everyday for maximum results. Remember abs are a sensitive muscle and just by training them 10-15 minutes everyday you can get optimum results.

- Take laxatives

This may be controversial, but talking 2 laxative pills every night really helped me get flat abs, since I ALWAYS had a good digestion and I never got bloated.

Follow for daily weight loss/beauty, motivation, discipline tips, lifestyle, recipes, workouts and much more!

(Also follow my youtube) classyfairy

[puppyexpressions]

5 Ways to Keep Your Pet Safe During A Cookout

Summertime and cookouts often go hand-in-hand. From barbecued ribs to potato salad and sweet treats, many family gatherings revolve around this warm weather tradition. Our pets are family, and most pet owners want to include their pets in family gatherings and activities. Many pets enjoy the added attention from visiting family members, and they likely will drool in anticipation of a delicious piece of steak or burger that may accidentally fall from the grill.

 However, grilling and cookout activities can be dangerous to pets, and lead to burns, skin irritations, choking, and sometimes deadly gastrointestinal (GI) problems. We want to ensure your pets are safe during summertime cookouts, so follow these five cooking safety tips.

#1: Keep your pet away from the grill while cooking

The sizzling aroma of fresh meats and veggies on the grill can be enticing not only to people, but also to pets. However, an active grill holds many pet hazards. Pets should be kept more than three feet from grills, because the dangerous grilling flames and heat can lead to burned paws and singed whiskers on curious noses. Therefore, never leave an active grill unattended. 

Additionally, ensure you prevent pets from accessing the fat and meat trimmings that build up and become trapped below the grill. Pets lack the proper enzymes to digest rich, fatty foods, and ingestion can result in GI distress, inflammation, or potentially deadly pancreatitis.

#2: Never leave grilling accessories in a pet-accessible area

Many tools are required to ensure a successful grilling venture. However, these tools can injure pets. Ensure you keep all grilling tools, such as skewers and cooking tongs, out of paws’ reach to prevent traumatic injuries from sharp edges, or burned tongues in pets trying to sample your recipes. Additionally, store charcoal bags in a pet-safe location to prevent ingestion. Although charcoal is not toxic to pets, ingestion can still lead to GI problems, choking, or blockages that may require surgery in some cases. 

Store all plastic ware and storage containers in a non-pet-accessible location, to prevent a dangerous ingestion. Your pet also may be tempted to lick residual food particles off the foil, and accidentally ingest some of the foil, which can lead to GI blockages. Diagnosing this type of blockage can be challenging because the foil is not visible on an X-ray.

#3: Avoid sharing your plate with your pet

We understand that your pet’s longing eyes and drooling muzzle can be impossible to ignore while you prepare your barbecue feast. However, many popular grilling foods, spices, and side dishes are dangerous to pets, and can lead to GI inflammation, blockages that may require surgery, or potentially deadly toxicities. Never hesitate to call your if you are concerned that your pet has ingested a toxic food, and always keep the ASPCA Animal Poison Control number readily available. 

Common cookout foods dangerous to pets include:

Bones

Raw meats

Hot dogs

Garlic, onions, or other members of the Allium family

Ketchup  

Corn cobs

Salty snacks, including pretzels, chips, peanuts, and popcorn

Desserts, or any chocolate

Alcoholic beverages or desserts with alcohol

Sugar free foods, such as jello

#4: Use caution with bug repellent and sunscreen around pets

The rising temperatures bring an abundance of biting insects, including mosquitoes and fleas, which can carry infectious diseases and parasites dangerous to pets. Bug repellent and citronella candles are as much summer staples as swimsuits and cookouts. However, never use human-intended insecticides on your pet, and ensure your pet is a safe distance away when you apply bug spray to yourself or in the yard. Most commercial repellents contain ingredients that are dangerous to pets.

Veterinary-prescribed flea, tick, and heartworm prevention products are the safest, most effective way to protect your pet from hitchhiking pests. Additionally, excess ultraviolet exposure can lead to sunburn, or skin cancer, in some breeds. Never apply sunscreen directly on your pet without veterinary advice. Many human sunscreens contain ingredients such as zinc oxide, or para-aminobenzoic acid, that are toxic to pets.

#5: Ensure your pet can be identified

You can easily become distracted during the chaos of family or friends arriving to share the fruits of your barbecue labor. Ensure that your pet is microchipped, and wearing a secondary identification such as an embroidered collar or tag. Curious pets may accidentally sneak out the front door during the excitement of arriving guests. A microchip is the safest, most effective, and only permanent means of identifying your pet, should they go on an unplanned adventure. Always ensure your pet’s microchip registration is kept up to date with your current contact information.