#FX PAY FOR MY THERAPY

[yannaryartside]

the payoff for this love triangle shit better be good

a Sydcarmy vs Claircarmy rant

So, to ramble here, I am starting to wonder what place romance has in the overall plot of The Bear as a show and, by that, what function it will execute. I am going to write about some alternatives that I can predict.

The overall purpose of the show is to heal Carmy, or to put Carmy on a path when self-healing is the only option. He is a sinking ship that has been treating his holes with tape instead of acknowledging the "bear" trauma. At the present of the show, the bear is still in a cage.

So, what paths of healing romance could offer Carmy? Love and loving others is essential to learning to be better versions of ourselves and achieve happiness.

Option one: ClaireCarmy

Yeah, we are here again. Stick with me after the next paragraph so I can dispute what I am about to write.

I must admit, if I take the most superficial parts of the show's structure so far, Claircarmy seems to be the clear endgame. What we are seeing with them could be categorized in one of the most used tropes in romance: the "I am not good enough to receive love" trope, in which a character is afraid of being loved, so they push away the romantic interest until they heal their wound, they make a love confession, and they get back together. I know a movie/show came to mind. We have seen it a dozen times. Even what Claire told Tiff "If something good happens to him, he would blame me." We see Carmy thinking about her and missing the relationship they had. He even declares her as his peace. It would make sense that this is a story about a girl who wanted to love a boy and a boy who was too wounded to accept that love. It would make a clean ending for Carmy to go to therapy, learn to accept love, and reconcile with Claire, who has all the attributes of someone who would fall in love with a broken person.

The grenades are in the way.

NOW, the show has been planting grenades for option one to feel like "the right one" even if our protagonist seems to think it is the case. There are Claire's obvious red flags of course, behavior that looks naive but has some manipulative undertones. The fact that she is written like a woman with no personality, or at least no personality outside helping people in pain (Carmy included). She still talks about her patients as subjects, and there is a theory in the sydcarmy fandom that she may feel powerful or valued only in a position of taking care of people who cannot fend for themselves. There is also the fact that she is not a good doctor (she almost killed a patient over a very preventable mistake). Her comments of setting things on fire being cool while Carmy is afraid of setting himself on fire is still, for me, the biggest red flag.

My theory is that Storer just didn't want to show people with depression to accept love but to be wary of the love we accept while we are still stuck in our old ways of thinking. It is true that even at your worst, you may find yourself in relationships that keep you that way, but the relationships may feel good, so we have a hard time moving away from them. If that is the case, Storer, I promise to never commit blasphemy on your church.

The SydCarmy option.

I am not going to repeat myself. They read each other's minds. They can actually give each other real advice and support (While Carmy kissed Claire after she admitted malpractice). They make each other better, while Claire keeps Carmy as broken as he is (never apologize, you can pretend to be someone else at a party).

Sydney brings him actual peace and self-understanding. It is actually very important to me that they made Sydney say she has difficulty keeping with Carmy at his worst because she is not a mind reader. But at this point, there is no doubt in my mind that she has feelings for Carmy, or that she at least has felt the sparkles of what it would be love in the future.

The payoff.

I swear to god, the next season better provide clarity on all of this because, at this point, it is too much. There is no way you give so many clues in the background for one ship and pursue the other in the front.

My worst fear, which is actually really possible, is that the show wants to concentrate on the "being stuck in the past" narrative so that all the elements for the future are there, but we won't act on them until the end of it. So Carmy can kill all his bad habits, the self-isolation, aggressiveness, depression, self-harming tendencies (fire), and Claire, and THEN, he can open his heart to Sydney. It is obviously not what many of us want to see; maybe this was never a love story, but an "unstuck yourself from the mud" story.

I wish the progress of the love story you actually want to tell (Sydcarmy) would progress with the show's actual plot (Carmy's mental health) a little more. Otherwise, the payoff is never going to feel quite like one. You may have done too much of a good job misguiding your audience, and then it will feel like a change of direction, like a plot twist at the end of a mystery novel, but that rarely works in romance subplots.

I know the clues were there, but your narrative seems to ignore them so far, making it feel more like gaslighting.

Anyhow, thank you for hearing me ramble.

[barren-heart]

WAIT.

are you telling me that FX literally just said Nandor is eating Guillermo in a nightclub bathroom?

okay FX TikTok account I see you

[swisccfinds]

TOP 5 MUST HAVE Sims 4 Career Mods

These are my most personal Career mods for the sims 4, please don't forget to show love and support to the creators.

1- Youtube Career Mod by itsmeTroiYT

There is so many interactions with this mod it is unbelievable! If you head to the download button below it will bring you to the creator's post which will show all the type of things you can do with this mod but for now to keep the Tumblr photo limit here is some of the creator's notes that explain the levels and the branches

Gamer (6-10) PC Noob $100/hr Streamer $200/hr Daily Uploader $300/hr Tagline Genius $600/hr Prestige Gamer $1500/hr

Vlogger (6-10) Viner $100/hr Prank Wars Vlogger $200/hr Unbox Therapy $300/hr Vlogger $600/hr Daily Vlogger $1600/hr

DIY Hot Glue Gun Mess $250/hr Creative Weirdo $350/hr Hacks Master $600/hr DIY Superstar $650/hr [Something] DIY $1500/hr

MUA Fenty Beauty Counter Rep $200/hr Brand Tester $300/hr Makeup Brand Collab $350/hr Personal Makeup Artist $750/hr MUA $1500/hr

Cooking One Pan Cook $150/hr Made from TV/Movies $300/hr Remixed Recipe Cook $345/hr Guest Host Cook $625/hr Master Cook $1500/hr

FX Makeup Artist NYX Face Awards $120/hr Halloween Royalty $200/hr FX on a Budget $350/hr Workshop Personality $645/hr Glam & Gore $1450/hr

download

2- Modeling Career Mod by KPC0528

This is an amazing mod! If you want your sim to become a model this is the mod for you! This does require the City living & Get Famous expansion packs, so be aware. Here are the creator's notes about the levels and branches;

1. Volunteer Model--there is no pay for the beginning of this career. I wanted to make it as realistic as possible, so level 1 is all about building a portfolio and gaining exposure.  Mood: Confident M - W - F S S

2. Local Model -- Your sim will be part of the "mall crowd" participating in local fashion shows. These jobs aren't very selective... $15/hr.  Skills: Charisma 1  Mood: Confident - T - T F S S

3. Hand Model-- Keep those hands soft and supple as your sims model rings, bracelets, and watches for local jewelry designers!  $18/hr.  Skills: Charisma 2 Mood: Confident - T - T F S S

4. Hair Model-- Cutting, coloring, styling. Your Sims's hair will be put through it all in exchange for some simoleons and their pictures to be featured in hair dressers' portfolios.  $20/hr.  Skills: Charisma 3, Fitness 3 Mood: Confident - T - T F S S 

Choose track: Commercial Model or High Fashion Model

Commercial Model track: Commercial models are the models you would see in shopping catalogs and local commercials. The sim-next-door look is desired, so your sim will need attractive looks as well as an attractive personality to do well in this career track. 

5. Commercial Catalog Model--Your sim will be showcasing the newest collections by the most popular stores, like Sim Navy and JC Simmy.  $50/hr.  Skills: Charisma 4, Fitness 4 Mood: Confident M T W - F S -

6. Fitness Model-- Fitness is the name of the game here. Your sim must continue to sculpt his/her body to perfection in order to sell the newest workout gear and sports drinks.  $65/hr.  Skills: Charisma 5, Fitness 7 Mood: Energetic M T W T - S - 

7. Social Media Model-- Your sim's face is getting popular online! He/she will be modeling the hottest makeup, jewelry, and clothing through various social media platforms like Simstagram.  $80/hr.  Skills: Charisma 7 Mood: Confident - - W - F S S 

8. Music Video Model-- Who wouldn't want to be a model in a famous music video? Your sim must hone in their dance skills so they don't embarrass themselves in front of the musical superstars.... $90/hr.  Skills: Charisma 8, Dancing 3 Mood: Confident M T - T F S - 9. Television Model-- Television! Your sim will be featured on all sorts of commercials, from clothing and perfume, to cookware and living room furniture. $130/hr.  Skills: Charisma 10 Mood: Confident M T W - F S -

10. Coversim-- The ultimate goal! Your sim is on every grocery store magazine rack, dishing the newest gossip about his/her love life, as well as modeling the hippest designs. Congrats, superstar!  $300/hr.  Mood: Confident M T W - F S - 

High Fashion Model track: This track is for the serious fashionista. In order to gain celebrity as a high fashion model, your sim must be both gorgeous and interesting, as well as charismatic and athletic. Reaching the end of this track means worldwide fame and luxury! 5. Swimsuit Model-- Swimsuit models are photographed even in the winter months, so this isn't just for fun! Your sim must be in excellent shape to make it as a swimsuit model.  $55/hr.  Skills: Charisma 5, Fitness 6 Mood: Flirty M T W - F S - 

6. Lingerie Model-- No room for shy sims here! Upscale lingerie is a mega-money-making business, so only the most alluring sims will be successful.  $75/hr.  Skills: Charisma 6, Fitness 8 Mood: Flirty M T W - F S - 

7. Fashion Catalog Model-- High-end fashion is extremely expensive, so the stakes are high. Your sim must continue to perfect his/her body and personality in order to sell these interesting-looking clothes in the highest end fashion magazines.  $90/hr.  Skills: Charisma 7, Fitness 9 Mood: Confident M T - T F S -

8. Runway Model--Don't trip! All eyes are on your sim as he/she struts their stuff on the catwalk. Sims watching and cameras flashing can be nerve-wracking for even the most confident sim, but this is a necessary step in order to become a supermodel.  $120/hr. Skills: Charisma 8, Fitness 10 Mood: Confident - T W - F S S 

9. Editorial Model--Sim Vogue. Your sim is on the cover, looking fierce as fierce can be! Your sim is the epitome of a style icon, and everyone is looking at him/her for style inspiration.  $300/hr.  Skills: Charisma 10 Mood: Confident M T W - F S -

10. International Supermodel--Traveling the world for fashion shows? Check. Hosting reality style shows? Check. Getting paid to be famous? Check. Your sim is THE top model, as long as a newer, hotter thing doesn't come around.  $450/hr. Mood: Confident M - W - - S - 

download

3- Social Services Career Mod by missmani09

This is a great mod if your interested in having your sim work in social services for a backstory or maybe its just what you mapped out they would be in your head. Here are some of the creator's notes about this mod;

Social Serivices:

1) Clerical Staff Extra Help  -Responsible for copying and filing documents, sorting documents

2) Administrative Specialist I  -answer phones, answer client's questions, file, sort

3) Administrative Specialist II -Key application, answer telephones, work front desk window correspond emails

4) Administrative Specialist Supervisor  Supervise all clerical staff ensure front desk runs smoothly ensure applications are keyed correctly ensure office machinery is working properly assign staff job duties

------------------------------------------------------------ ---(AA) ---- Division of Sim County Operations ------- ----------------------------------------------------------

5A) Program Eligibilty Specialist I  - SNAP Process Sim food stamp program applications.  Interview & verify resources Assist homeless sims Determine eligibilty for supplemental nutrition program

6A) Program Eligbiliy Specialist II Process sim program applications Determine eligibilty for Sim daycare voucher applications Determine eligibilty for supplemental nutrition program

7A) Family Health Care Case Manager  -Family Medicaid Process Sims' medicaid applications.  Determine medical coverage eligibilty for Sims including  Working Sims' medical coverage, SimKids Care A or SimKids Care B

8A) Aged Sim Health Care Case Manager  Process Aged, Retired, and Disabled elder sims' medicare applications Determine disability 

9A) Sim Social Services County Administrator  oversee especific sim world in which sim currently lives

10A) Sim Social Services National Director  oversee all sim worlds

----------------------------------------------------------------

---(BB) Division of Child Protective Services -------------------------------------------------------------- job is to protect and ensure the health, safety, and well being off all sim children.

5B) Child Protective Service Worker  Visit homes. Provide struggling parents with resources and tools to become effective parents. Remove children from home if necessary to the  childs health & safety

6B) Child Abuse&Neglect Investigator  visit homes. on call rotation investigate suspected sim child neglect/abuse that comes into the hotline issue warnings to parent's who a nearing neglectful standards Remove children from home if necessary to the  childs health & safety

7B) Foster Care Case Manager  On call rotation. Manage Sim children's cases who have been removed from their home due to neglect/abuse. write extensive case notes

8B) Adoption Specialist  process adoption applications. match waiting foster children and  place into adoptive home

9B) Sim County CPS Supervisor Oversee foster care and CPS case managers 

10B) Sim CPS National Director 

download

4- Psychologist Career mod by Kittyblue

This is career mod is actually my favorite for storytelling! In this mod there are two branches which are Counseling Psychology and Forensic Psychologist.

download

5- Tattoo Artist Career mod by MesmericSimmer

I love this one so much, mainly because I want one of my sim's backstory to include this career. They have this career option for both adults and teens!

download & more info

[billysjoel]

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tj (or taylor) || 28 || cis bi woman || she/her || wisconsin, usa || chronically ill/spoonie || gifmaker || i track #usertj so please feel free to tag me in your creations!

i was pcrrycox

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please feel free to send me an ask or a message any time! i’m open to gif requests as well, though i can’t always guarantee i’ll do them. please always remember to be kind!

[consultingfujoshi]

AAARRGHHHH I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. I want to sleep until thursday night so I don't have to THINK about this show anymore. its driving me crazy. its the being really secretive about this episode to the point they are reusing clips from last episode instead of clips from the upcoming one in the trailer its the bts pic of guillermo lying on nandors coffin as nandor looks down at him its the stunt director directing this episode but saying there's no action in it at all and instead it's the most emotional episode of the season but we know the apparent nandermo fight from the pic is from episode 9 because of the big fucking map on nandors coffin that guillermo is lying on top of that colin was reading 2 episodes ago which also appeared in a teaser pic so what is the TRUTH its the whole nandor going into super slumber but theres no clips of him actually sleeping and also we know this episode is colins birthday so the super slumber plotline is very clearly a read herring why are they even lying about that its guillermo being in his vampire killer fit this whole episode despite him not being out actually hunting vampires its the episode being called "a farewell" but No clues as to who its a farewell to or the trailer even mentioning anything like that its the next episode description saying the vampires mourn the loss of one of their own even though nandor JUST left and came back so who's gonna leave again so soon its matt saying laszlo and colins friendship this season is the crux of everything its them also saying laszlo has a clear goal this season that's been set up all season but the pieces won't come together until right at the very end its the final episode being called the portrait when the only thing it could realistically be alluding to is the glitter portrait of guillermo as a vampire in the pilot but if that's brought up again it either means guillermo is gonna get turned (not realistic because its still only season 3) or he's gonna get rejected again it's the crew saying this is part two of a three part story that started with nandor leaving but that apparently was not the farewell episode 9 alludes to its nandor going back to rejecting guillermos touch and his affection again after all that shit they went through last week its harvey saying this season is full of realisations it's kayvan saying everything nandor is looking for this season he already has with guillermo it's the lead writer saying this season is about nandor looking for love and next season being about him actually finding love its. everything. its all going around and around in my head and I cannot make anything of it I cant sort it into a theory or a narrative its just THERE and I cant do anything with it. I cannot take it anymore ive had enough

[maddiemaynot]

I’m back. I’m still on my good omens bull shit but i’m back because stupid fucking vampire show stupid fucking what we do in the shadows has me in its grips and i’m not fucking happy about it anyway i have an essay to post here about why nandor’s depression arc has been brewing for three seasons and it’s all to do with his perception of his own power. watch this space.

[readandwritesilver]

im not remotely at a point yet where i can articulate anything remotely coherent but like. guillermo putting on nandor's seatbelt for him. and you dont even register it when he does it its just like oh well nandor's brainwashed yknow of course hes not going to put his own seatbelt on but guillermo is going to do it because theyre running for their lives and beyond that guillermo knows he needs to get nandor the fuck OUT of there but he still takes that spare ten or so seconds to buckle him in even though nandor is fucking immortal and i didnt really think about this before i started typing but nandor is immortal he would have been ultimately fine if something had happened and anyway guillermo is driving pretty carefully plus its four am in some random industrial area GUILLERMO HE DOES NOT NEED THE SEATBELT and yet he still does it because hes his body guard hes his heart guard nandor is in crisis and im already saving his life by doing something very dangerous to have done alone but guillermo just. he loves him its the and i you its the cover your face but not only is it the cover your face its nandor covering his face because hes brainwashed but he still trusts guillermo at his core and jan broke pretty much everything else but she didnt break that and so he covers his face and he lets guillermo take his hand and he doesnt stop him from hurting the cult at any point even though he probably could or could at least try but he doesnt because he trusts guillermo and then they get to the car and while guillermo is chewing him out he buckles him in. and its the seatbelt that guillermo went out and got lined with silver however long ago and it's nandor burning himself on the band than guillermo clicked into place to keep him safe in a way that he didnt even technically need because guillermo wasnt thinking what is the absolute most practical way we can get out of here he was thinking how do i keep nandor safe because thats what he was thinking the whole fucking time and they fight and nandor strains against the holds of guillermo's love and they burn him and guillermo knows that those burns mean that hes safe but he still cant look at nandor as he explains when he got silver installed and its when nandor explains to him calmly that he is going to leave and he is never going to come back and guillermo doesnt argue because he knows that the second he touches the belt its going to burn him but also his voice has sounded like it's going to break from the moment on the porch that he realized nandor is leaving and the seatbelt is i'm sorry and the seatbelt is it's for your own good and the seatbelt is i love you, i love you, i love you. let me keep you safe. hate me if you're going to, but let me keep you safe. FX pay for my therapy.

[myinnerdemon004]

Dear FX Network,

I require you to pay for my therapy because you broke Laszlo’s (and mine) heart.

[thecomedybureau]

The 100 Best Things in Comedy We Were Witness to In No Particular Order of 2019

OK, 2019′s officially over and we’ve wrangled our 100 truly favorite things in and around comedy (and it really spans all of comedy) that are not ranked whatsoever. It’s just like the title says and, it’s, as it is every year, quite long, so we won’t waste any more time with this intro. 

Oh, in case you forgot and/or curious and/or need a quick refresher, here’s our 2018 list. 

1. Rory Scovel Live Without Fear-This documentary follows Rory Scovel and his journey through six nights of completely improvised hour sets. In a single word, it’s inspiring. You see the way Scovel truly connects the audience and keeps it that way through his indelible charm and endless curiosity. The near unbelievable story of the Relapse Theater in Atlanta is also beautifully threaded in the doc as well. The clips of the improvised performances capture the magic that stand-up comedy can be that’s absent from the majority of comedy specials. You should be required to see this whenever and wherever it comes if you have any level of interest in comedy at all. 

2. Naomi Ekperigin-From her own stand-up, to her podcast with husband Andy Beckerman, Couples Therapy, and her writing across TV, and everything else she does, Naomi is such an thoroughly commanding, yet delightful presence that we love seeing every time anywhere (and she should already be way bigger of a star already).

3. Cait Raft’s Presentation on “Bradley Cooper’s a Star Is Born Takes Place in an Alternate Reality Where 9/11 Never Happened”-Witnessing the imagination of Cait Raft up close was a privilege for us. This amazing dissection of the zeitgeist left us in stitches and with our mouth agape for how thoroughly it proved its point.

4. Corporate Season 2-The second season of the ultra dark workplace comedy delivered once again on its hysterical nihilistic satire that’s so prescient, yet still so unbelievably funny.

5. Mom-Prov Presents Family Therapy-Improviser Izzy Roland was daring enough to have her mom and her grandmother, both of whom are also in showbiz, to join her on stage for one of the most madcap, fourth wall-breaking, entertaining improv shows we’ve seen all throughout 2019.

6. Jena Friedman-So, this year, Jena delivered yet again with her subtle delivery and calm demeanor that hides her absolutely killer jokes. The follow-up to her Adult Swim special, Soft Focus, upped the ante with an interview of a gun-toting John McAffee and her brilliant Conan set about everyone’s true crime obsession.

7. Brendon Walsh’s Afternoon Delight-This last year, Brendon Walsh let everyone know that he was and still is one of the best at pulling prank calls, which is so much harder now than it was even ten years ago. This live show actually has Brendon place live prank calls in between stand-ups and the ride you go on is absolutely thrilling.

8. Jacqueline Novak’s Get on Your Knees-Novak’s solo show has more than earned its spot as an Off-Broadway show with bringing such an exquisite, almost never before seen comedic sensibility to the topic of blow jobs.

9. #F*ckF*ckJerry-Props to Vulture Senior Editor Megh Wright for sparking the fire to take out the egregious social media accounts of F*ck Jerry that just lifted jokes from comedians all across the Internet without pay or attribution.

10. Lorelei Ramirez-We’ve known distantly about Lorelei Ramirez for so many years, but seeing them up close was a breathtaking experience that had us laughing so hard. Their artistry in comedy that gracefully borders on performance art and even horror is absolutely inspiring.

11. Aaron Urist-Denver’s Aaron Urist is such a killer joke writer and joke teller and has been for years. We just were reminded about that with his burning bush joke during his latest LA trip.

12. Booksmart-Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut was not only a reinvigorated take on movies that specifically hone in on the end of high school, but also had a sincerely hopeful vision of the future generation. We hope that Booksmart finds its way to the top of the coming-of-age comedy films pantheon.

13. Rachel Mac on Lights Out-One of the highlights of Lights Out with David Spade is how unfiltered and raunchy they let comics get during their sets on the show. Rachel Mac took that amount of comedic license and thrived in getting into the nitty gritty about her last teaching job.

14. What We Do In The Shadows-The FX TV adaptation of the seminal Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement film in 2014 exceedingly succeeds in nailing the comedy of minutia in the world of the undead that also happens to be in a (somewhat) grounded reality.

15. PEN15-Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle’s vision of 2000 and their performances as teens were so spot on that PEN15 would deserve acclaim just for that. However, the heart of this show made its humor stand out in an ever crowded field of coming-of-age comedy.

16. Tiffany Haddish’s Black Mitzvah-A lot has happened for Tiffany Haddish since her last special (she’s a legit A-list celebrity now), but it’s clear that she is still her unapologetically positively, life loving self. This special is evidence of that, especially with her bit about her New Year’s show that she got undeserved flack for.

17. Straw Men-Lindsay Adams, Danny Palumbo, and Sam Wiles (and producer Kimmie Lucas) put on what is our favorite imagining of a comedic debate that we’ve seen thus far. The encouragement to make the most ridiculous, baseless arguments and being transparent about the whole thing is a golden goose of comedy.

18. The ending of Gloria Bell-Well, we can’t very well give away the ending to this English language dramedy remake from Sebastián Lelio that has Julianne Moore shine as bright as she has ever shone before, but just know that we stood out of our seats, applauding what she did to John Turturro right at the end.

19. I Think You Should Leave-Tim Robinson’s unflinchingly absurd sketch series unequivocally has many of the best sketches of 2019. The hot dog costume and Mexican restaurant sketches will have us busting up through, very likely, the next decade.

20. Les Miz and Friends-Bonkers (and we mean that in the best way possible) doesn’t begin to describe how wild this meta and great this puppet and human hybrid take on the theater institution of Les Miserables. The sheer cleverness on every level is awe-inspiring. 

21. Dave Ross’ The Only Man Who Has Ever Had Sex-Ross has been a longtime favorite of ours for the contrasting bounciness and darkness of his comedy. His debut album captures this dichotomy perfectly.

22. Nikki Glaser: Bangin’-Nikki Glaser’s first Netflix hour special started off with a bang, pun intended. Her frank, but heartfelt exploration of all facets of sex is so damn funny that Glaser gets away with being as blue as she wants.  

23. Super Dating Simulator-This live, interactive version of various Japanese video game dating simulators is one of the more innovative and surprisingly charming things we saw this year. Creator Sam Weller did a bang-up job not only making a video game work as a stage show, but doing so with a very off-beat sub-genre of video games

24. Emmy Blotnick’s Party Nights-Blotnick’s latest album shows Emmy at the peak of her delightful observational powers. The concept of a “Self-Potato” is just priceless.

25. Tammercise!-Folks in comedy are getting all sorts of clever these days to redefine traditional formats and disciplines and push the art form forward. Madeline Wager does this exquisitely with a solo show of a woman unraveling that doubles as legit aerobics class.

26. The Cherry Orchard w/Chad Damiani and Jet Eveleth-Damiani and Eveleth explore a new angle on postmodern clowning by supposedly doing a Chekov play going through dress rehearsal without any of the players knowing what they’re supposed to do. The back and forth between the live direction and the tomfoolery on stage is truly hysterical.

27. Bake Stuff with Lindsay LIVE-It’s about time for a comedic cooking show that actually does teach you a wonderful recipe and also explores and resolves(?) childhood trauma. Lindsay Adams’ Bake Stuff with Lindsay, which we indeed saw live, accomplishes all of that and inspires all those watching to cook through their feelings.

28. Shalewa Sharpe’s So, You Just Out Here?-Shalewa imbues homespun wisdom with marvelously colorful descriptions all throughout this very satisfying album.

29. The Amazing Johnathan Documentary from Ben Berman-The Amazing Johnathan’s life story is pretty captivating as is. The story about Ben Berman trying to tell his story amidst several other people trying to tell his story is absolutely engrossing and is somehow all true.

30. Julio Torres’ HBO special “My Favorite Shapes”-Torres’ special is simultaneously one of the most daring and silly hour specials in recent memory and his elevation of prop comedy to a whole new level is to be commended.

31. The Underculture with James Adomian-James Adomian has been one of comedy podcasts’ most in-demand and bright shining stars. It comes as no surprise that his own podcast that revs up all his characters has some of the best, most dynamic, absurdist interviews in political and pop culture satire. 

32. Daniel Van Kirk’s Thanks Diane/Together Tour-Van Kirk’s first, complete hour that he both toured with and released as an album is so impressive with how deftly Dan manages a balance of sincerity and mischief from wire-to-wire.

33. Conan in Greenland-Conan marvelously turns his travel specials series Conan Without Borders on its head by attempting to buy Greenland based off of Trump’s stupid tweets.

34. Mary Beth Barone’s Drag His Ass: A F*ckboy Treatment Program-Mary Beth Barone’s live show exploration into her dating life is illuminating and hilarious throughout, but the actual interview that she does live with a “f*ckboy” is transcendent.

35. Obvious Plant’s Carnival of Toys-Jeff Wysaski AKA Obvious Plant really outdid himself this year in his quest to permeate everyday reality with a satirical twist. He not only made a whole line of custom toy figures that satirize pop culture on so many levels, but opened up a whole pop-up museum for several days to exhibit them in all of their bizarre glory.

36. Sports Without Equipment with Coach Keith Alejo-This Dress Up Gang sketch is one of those ideas that are simple, yet so out-of-left-field. Literally, they take sports without equipment to its funniest conclusion.

37. #Squatmelt-Howard Kremer’s desire to keep the spirit of The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail alive has evolved into its own very special thing in the form of a DIY stand-up comedy show/walking tour that periodically migrates around LA.

38. Catch-22-Trying to adapt such a monumental literary work like Catch-22 is almost a fool’s errand, but writers Luke Davies and David Michôd do a smash-up job for not only bringing Heller’s immortal words to life, but also sticking the landing for all the darkly absurdly comical moments that run rampant throughout the story.

39. Get Rich Nick-Even if they didn’t have the fantastic banter, riffs, and asides from the very funny duo of Nick Turner and Nick Vatterott, this podcast that explores how to make money real quick is one of the best new podcasts of the whole year. Fortunately, Nick and Nick’s humor runs rampant through every episode and makes Get Rich Nick engrossing and makes you actually laugh out loud.

40. MK Paulsen-The comedy of MK Paulsen can be faster than a bullet, but as satisfyingly silly as a gun that shoots a flag with the word ‘bang’ on it. Every time we see him do stand-up, it’s a fun, rollicking ride that’s equal parts offbeat whimsy, clever wordplay, and an agile sense of timing and play.

41. Father Figurine by Matt Kazman-The dour faces of the family in this dark comedy short play to the highest comedic effect perfectly. A dead patriarch and an apathetic family make for some of the best dry humor in 2019.

42. Funk Shuffle-Danny Cymbal, Dennis Curlett, and Michael Gardner comprise Funk Shuffle, an improv group that manages fly freer and more untethered than almost any other improv group that we’ve ever seen. They make their defiance and experimentation with improv forms really work due to the trio’s unflinchingly playful spirit.

43. Gary Gulman’s The Great Depresh-Gulman, as one of comedy’s premier craftsman, of course, delivers an hour of stellar comedy with this special. He also manages, this time around, to destigmatize depression and, in general, be hopeful. That particular comedy trifecta is such an impressive feat that very few can accomplish.

44. Greener Grass-The scope and ambition of Jocelyn DeBoer and Dawn Luebbe’s directorial debut hints at some really special things to come from them in the future. Their absolutely demented, pastel drenched absurdist vision was a shocking delight through and through.

45. Jenny Slate’s Stage Fright-Slate’s best comedic strength is her unshakeable vulnerability. This hour special lets Jenny present that trait as intimately as she has ever presented it and gives an in-depth look as to where that hilarious vulnerability comes from. 

46. Heather Anne Campbell swatting a baby out of someone’s hands in an improv scene-At this point, it should come as no surprise that Heather Anne Campbell is one of our absolute all-time favorite people in comedy and thus, she kind of just ends up making it on this list annually on her own someway, somehow. This year, during a performance of her improv group, Heather and Company, we laughed as hard as we’ve ever laughed at Drew DiFonzo Marks initiating a scene by rocking a baby back and forth and then, Heather insanely swatted it out of his hands and stomped on it. It sounds ludicrous, but trust that Heather made that so unbelievably funny. 

47. Adam Cayton-Holland’s Happy Place-Cayton-Holland’s live solo show based on his critically acclaimed book of the same name pulls off oscillating between cleverly wrought and self-aware comedy and some of the most heartbreaking stories you’ll ever hear about his late sister. Holland’s focus and calm make it all miraculously blend together.

48. The Authorized Unauthorized My Favorite Murder Musical-In the world of unauthorized musicals about things that you wouldn’t really think about being adapted into unauthorized musicals (it’s a bigger ever-burgeoning world every month it seems), the staged reading of this My Favorite Murder-inspired musical that we saw was phenomenal. The full stage production to come in 2020 will undoubtedly be something really great. 

49. Pedro Gonzalez-Pedro’s jokes are so expertly written and crafted that you forget that he immigrated to America as a teenager from Colombia and learned English as a second language.

50. Garry Starr Performs Everything-UK comedian Garry Starr’s solo show is a genius send-up and celebration of theater as a whole. The physicality and the sheer madness of the whole show are so thoroughly hysterical.

51. Kira Soltanovich-We just want to take a moment to appreciate the agility of the comedy of Kira Soltanovich. Not only does Kira play any room or any show as far as we’ve seen, but her drive is just unstoppable (see ep. of The Honey Dew).

52. Mike Birbiglia’s The New One-Though it seems almost too routine that Birbiglia comes out with a new hour special that garners tons of acclaim for its ornate and complex and, ultimately, very satisfying tapestry of stories, Birbiglia delivers exactly once again with one such solo show/special on fatherhood.

53. Michelle Buteau-We saw Michelle headline just a few months ago at Dynasty Typewriter and were reminded of just how good Buteau is. She combines being heartfelt, having a fun bit of attitude, and an absolute command of the stage in such a beautiful way.

54. Gareth Reynolds’ Riddled with Disease-Many folks know how great Gareth is from his madcap riffing on The Dollop, but Reynolds shows he is fantastic with a sharp, hilarious, yet still fast-and-loose-feeling hour.

55. Sara Schaefer’s LIVE LAUGH LOVE-Sara, above most folks working in comedy today, goes to great lengths to be considerate, inclusive, and vulnerable in her comedy and it’s so, so wonderful because of that. This album is yet another great example of that mix.

56. Sean Patton’s Scuttlebutt-Sean Patton’s latest album is a fantastic note to any and all that Sean is, hands down, one of the best comedians ever to spin a yarn (and also share some damn fine true stories) and deserves way more accolade and attention for that now and going forward. 

57. Matt Rogers’ Have You Heard of Christmas?-Rogers had quite a 2019 in putting culture on notice, but his queer and subversive holiday musical extravaganza might be one of the best pieces of holiday themed comedy of all time.

58. The Chris Gethard Show with Robby Hoffman-Not only does Robby Hoffman keep the punk rock, conventions-be-damned spirit of TCGS alive, but she makes it so much her own and lets her hilarious, domineering persona transform the show into another very special, unique round of controlled chaos.

59. The taping of Eddie Pepitone’s latest special-Eddie’s sound and fury and his irreverent stream-of-consciousness-seeming comedy were flawless in this latest hour. Everyone in attendance, including ourselves, were in stitches for the whole taping. Props to director Steven Feinartz for one of our favorite looks of a special that we saw last year (which you’ll all get to see soon in 2020).

60. Eric Dadourian’s closer on Nebraska 2-Dadourian is always all in for the sake of a real bold, imaginative bit and, as such, pulled off one of our favorite closers of the year on his very first full length album.

61. Jessica Kirson: Talking to Myself-Kirson’s hour special on Comedy Central really let Jessica cut loose and let her showcase her stand-up expertise. From the way that Kirson contorts her face to her deep well of voices/characters to razor-sharp quick wit to, of course, her signature asides to herself, Jessica really kills it in this hour. 

62. Brody Stevens-Long live the “jock doing performance art” comedy (one of our favorite descriptions of Brody’s comedy by his dear friend Zach Galifianakis) and may he rest in peace. Yeeeees! Enjoy It!

63. Byron Bowers on Colbert-Byron Bowers and his clever, yet sincere, dark, vulnerable comedy put up one of our favorite late night sets this year. From the opening to his frank jokes about his dad make us think that it’s just a little crazy that this is his network TV debut.

64. Desus and Mero on Showtime-With the upgrade of being on Showtime, Desus Nice and The Kid Mero are having the most fun in late night with the freshest voices and format (and they’re able to pull that off with only being twice a week).

65. Fleabag Season 2-creator and star Phoebe Waller-Bridge assuredly has more masterpieces ahead of her, but managing to top herself from one masterpiece season of dark romantic dramedy with another one is something that deserves all the accolades and awards that it has gotten.

66. Kenny DeForest on Corden-Kenny dismantles toxic masculinity so incisively through the whole set that he most certainly earns all the applause breaks he gets the whole way through.

67. Josh Gondelman’s Dancing on a Weeknight-Gondelman is often thought of as one of the best, sweetest people in comedy. This latest album, for all of its being clever and genuine, is proof that he indeed really is that sweet and funny.

68. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 3-The perennial prestige comedy from Amy Sherman-Palladino earns its keep by having some of the best writing (it’s almost impossible to write jokes that are contextualized for the 50s/60s and make them actually funny for 2019 audiences) and also being one of the most gorgeous looking shows in all of television.

69. Nick Ciarelli and Brad Evans-Whether it be pulling pranks on Twitter, their plethora of hysterical sketches doing an impression of Jack FM on shows around town, or their monthly live sketch character showcase Atlantic City, Nick and Brad are a damn fine comedy duo and have been for quite some time. 

70. Caitlin Gill’s Major-It’s quite the magic trick to make an hour of comedy that’s entirely clean and have it being clean not be a thought that you’re thinking about at all when listening or watching it. Caitlin Gill spectacularly does just that with this album as Gill can make all of her earnest rants, imagery, and observations work in any way that she needs to.  

71. 97.9 The Rat Race-Ben Roy’s satirical reimagining of a morning radio “zoo crew” is so spot on, then gets real twisted to make this one of the most surprising and rewarding podcasts of 2019.

72. Mike Lane’s Picture Frames-This short film from Lane heightens the idea of remembering those you love after they’ve left this mortal coil to such a ridiculous level every step of the way (and is more and more enjoyably unpredictable the further it goes).

73. Paige Weldon on Corden-Paige’s upbeat self-deprecation is just hard to resist and it makes the best impression in this late night set on The Late Late Show with James Corden.

74. The Righteous Gemstones-Danny McBride’s latest HBO series that darkly and comically dissects the South might be his most ambitious yet, but, of course, he nails it. The constant suspense perpetuated by hysterically tragic characters in the world of televangelists is profound.

75. My Friend Chuck-Comedic erotica author Chuck Tingle (one of the absolutely most unique voices and cadences we’ve heard in awhile) and friend McKenzie Goodwin celebrate their friendship every week for a podcast that’s preposterously funny and, also, more heartwarming than almost anything we’ve heard or seen. 

76. Joey Clift’s Telling People You’re Native American When You’re Not Native Is a Lot Like Telling a Bear You’re a Bear When You’re Not a Bear-Clift makes such biting, pun intended, commentary with this short film/PSA that is also so playful that the message about Native identity will undoubtedly stick with you.

77. Megan Gailey’s My Dad Paid For This-Gailey strikes a wonderful balance of charm and attitude and fervent desire to burn down the patriarchy. Such a mix accents her very delightful observations about herself and the world around her in this marvelous debut album. 

78. Robin Higgins as Baby Yoda at Tournament of Nerds-Higgins might have made one of the best, first attempts at Baby Yoda cosplay. She also, for what’s supposed to be a roast-style competition between fictional/pop culture characters, perfectly imagined how Baby Yoda would roast someone while maintaining Baby Yoda’s sweetness that has captured the hearts and minds of the Internet.

79. The Man Who Killed Don Quixote-Terry Gilliam went through hell, did a few laps, and came back over several years to get this meta-quixotic tale about reimagining the legendary novel Don Quixote made. The finished film, for us, was worth the wait. 

80. Jo Firestone on The Tonight Show-Jo’s sense of play is so pure and present that it’s kind of irresistible. Combined with a perfect amount of self-deprecation, Jo really delivered a terrific set we’ll probably never get tired of.

81. Paul Rudd continues his time honored tradition of playing that one clip of Mac & Me on Conan-Rudd evolves the arc of this long running bit on Conan where, instead of playing a clip of what he’s on Conan to promote, he plays the same exact clip of the universally panned alien comedy Mac & Me. We all know what’s coming and yet, without the benefit of surprise, Rudd’s annoyance of Conan still keeps on being so damn funny.

82. Billy on the Street featuring Reese and Mariah-This year, we were lucky enough to get two instantly classic episodes of Billy on the Street with Reese Witherspoon and Mariah Carey that gave us our fix for our obsession with Billy Eichner yelling at strangers on the streets of NYC.

83. The Dollop England & UK-As Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds embarked on an entire England & UK tour of The Dollop, they thought it prudent to do a mini-series specific to Great Britain and did a smashing job making fun of British history. The Cyril the Swan episode is particularly brilliant.

84. Lost Moon Radio-The live musical sketch comedy theater troupe (Lost Moon Radio truly lives up to such a description) marked their 10th anniversary and put on an absolutely fantastic “Summer Block Party” this year that both showed that they still got their ingenious musical sketch comedy chops. 

85. Nate Bargatze’s The Tennessee Kid-The calm with which Bargatze pervades all of his comedy is part of what makes it beloved by nearly any and all that see or hear Bargatze’s stand-up. That’s such the case now that Nate gives updates to stories from previous specials on this latest hour. 

86. Beth Stelling on Kimmel-Every detail of this set on Jimmy Kimmel Live is pretty stellar. That includes Beth, in general, for her warm demeanor, smile, and cleverness, the Chippendale’s story, Beth’s mom being there in the crowd, and, of course, the surprise guest at the end. 

87. Liz Climo’s Please Don’t Eat Me-This illustrated book is just the latest in a long line of uber-adorable and genuinely-funny-for-all-ages books from Climo. Liz seems to have quite the knack for making unlikely animal friendship jokes. 

88. John Hodgman’s Medallion Status-Hodgman’s journey through the various statuses of airline privilege/celebrity is a superb serving of existential humor, done up with Hodgman’s painstaking attention to the exactly right details. 

89. Jane Curtin’s 2019 New Year’s Resolution “My New Year’s Resolution Is To Make Sure The Republican Party Dies”-Said during a CNN interview with the SNL alum, this was the first thing to make us heartily laugh in 2019.

90. Alex Kavutskiy’s Squirrel-Kavutskiy’s short film dives into the concept of forgiveness unlike we’ve really seen and, as is Kavutskiy’s style, is so darkly spellbinding and so pointedly funny at the same time.

91. Astronomy Club: The Sketch Show-The long running comedy troupe known as Astronomy Club really ran with their chance to do a full-fledged sketch series on Netflix. They’re so endlessly clever on in their sketches, especially when it comes to the subjects of identity and oppression, and pack in so many jokes and sight gags that you’ll definitely want to watch it more than once so you don’t miss anything.

92. Dolemite Is My Name-Eddie Murphy seems poised to make a real return to comedy (and stand-up comedy in particular) and this marvelous biopic of comedian and blaxploitation star Rudy Ray Moore AKA Dolemite is the perfect way to start.

93. Anna Drezen on Corden-Drezen has such a perfect sense of farce and misdirection and puts on a beautiful display of those two things from start to finish in this set on The Late Late Show with James Corden. 

94. BUTT’s Yoda themed dating app sketch-This sketch is so prescient of the resurgence of the world’s current (baby) Yoda obsession. Also, while this is so absurd with its deep dive into various Yoda fan art and cosplay, Joe McAdam and Chris Stephens’ take on dating apps is so sharply and deeply funny. 

95. Mel Brooks Unwrapped-The never ending bit of attempting a documentary between Mel Brooks and the BBC’s Alan Yentob is yet another display of the true, unquestionable genius of Mel Brooks.

96. 50 First Stephs-The amazing, hysterical Steph Tolev kicked off 2019 with a show where 50 or so of her compatriots and contemporaries did various impressions and characterizations of her. Part roast, part loving tribute, part amazing showcase of the depth of creativity in LA comedy, Tolev’s night for herself was something really special.

97. The Bongo Hour with Sandy Honig and Peter Smith-Honig and Smith brought their wild variety show that featured such wonderful bits, characters, drag, and burlesque to LA and showed, truly, how much better life is when you’re fluid about nearly everything.

98. How Did This Get Played?-Hosts Nick Wiger and Heather Anne Campbell and their take on the “worst and weirdest” video games do their namesake, the beloved How Did This Get Made?, proud. Even if you’re not a gamer, the way they dissect the most bizarre video games ever made along with Heather and Nick’s chemistry is very, very enjoyable.

99. Joe Pera Talks With You Season 2-This second season of Joe Pera’s unique talk-to-the-viewer series is so calming that the comedic twists sneak up in the most delightful way possible. There is a certain beauty to Pera’s show that makes us want to have Joe Pera Talks With You playing on a loop in a contemporary art museum.

100. John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch-John Mulaney does “it”, yet again. “It” being releasing another hour of comedic brilliance that’s so markedly different than whatever he did before, yet, somehow still stamped with an indelible mark of Mulaney’s comedy of obtuse hyper-specificity. 

[bigskydreaming]

Having a nostalgia moment for The Winter Soldier, back when I thought it was good instead of just proof that even a Russo is still right twice a day. Plus its on FX and I’m too lazy to search for something else to put on in the background, so let’s bust this out and get it off my brain so I can go actually work.

Okay, hear me out:

Marvel/DC Captain America fusion.

Its the 1930s. Dick Grayson's parents die like they do in the comics, leaving Dick an orphan who’s left behind in Gotham when Haly’s Circus is forced to move on without him. He’s remanded to Ma Gunn’s Home for Wayward Youths, where he meets and becomes best friends with the younger Jason Todd. Despite being a couple years younger than him, the more jaded, street smart Jason takes Dick under his wing so to speak, and before long they’re practically brothers. Dick teaches Jason acrobatic tricks and other skills like knife throwing he picked up while growing up in the circus, and Jason teaches Dick how to brawl, and other tools for getting by on the streets. 

They grow up together, Dick getting a place nearby when he ages out of the boys’ home, where Jason joins him when he does the same a couple years later. WWII happens, Jason’s quick to enlist, Dick has trouble enlisting because he’s Rom, even though that’s the very reason he’s so determined to enter the war...with Dr. Erskine eventually helping him, as he’s decided Dick’s a perfect candidate for his serum. Dick becomes Captain America, Jason at his side all the way, until the train scene, whereupon of course Jason is presumed dead and ultimately becomes the Winter Soldier.

Sam is still just Sam, there’s no DC equivalent that really fits him, nor does there need to be. Dick/Sam Wilson and/or Jason/Sam Wilson are both A++ ships. Its my AU, I’ll steal characters from both universes if I want to.

Replace Natasha with Helena Bertinelli, the new 52/Rebirth aka best version.

Clint is Roy Harper, duh.

Phil Coulson is irrelevant.

Nick Fury is still Nick Fury, and like....properly appreciated.

Peggy Carter is Babs, Dick’s first love who goes on to found SHIELD after his supposed ‘death.’ Stephanie Brown is this version of Sharon Carter, one of the numerous girls taken in and mentored by Babs and called her honorary nieces - or at other times, her Birds of Prey. Dick does not make out with her because in this AU, he goes to therapy and decides that emotional transference is not a healthy coping mechanism for his unique trauma. And also just no.

Tim is the infinitely superior and not unbearable version of Tony here, the adopted son of this version of Howard, aka Bruce. Alfred is Jarvis. Damian is still Damian because like Sam, there’s no clear parallel to him in the other universe, but he's necessary so in this AU, Tim/Tony has Tim’s usual hyper-competitive, kill all witnesses to any sign of actual affection between them dynamic with a younger brother, Damian. They both fanboy hard for Dick due to the stories told about him by their father, but neither will ever admit it, except for when they think they have conclusive proof that Dick likes them better than their stupid brother so HAH!

Who’s Talia here? Dunno, but not HYDRA, that’s for damn sure. I’m not the biggest Talia fan but we’re not going there, nah.

Crossbones is...eh, who cares. Make him that loser, Shrike. Deathstroke can stay the same, maybe a mentor of Dick’s from back in the 40s, with his own super soldier enhancements keeping him alive and relatively young. (Maybe he volunteered for a later version of the project after Dick was lost in the ice).

Insert other characters as needed/desired, I have done my part, I wash my hands of this AU and send it out into the world to like....idk, whatever AUs do when I’m not obsessing about them anymore? Its not like I pay attention to them past that point, how the fuck should I know what happens next with them. 

[spittercastequeen]

[ I am beyond agitated. More under the cut. ]

I cannot believe the sheer levels or anger, stress, and frustration that I’m currently dealing with because of the nail salon owner I work for. Not only has she become even more of a right bitch, but she’s even more narcicisstic and passive-aggressive than she normally is. I’ve also been gaslighted by her more often than not. Today was her off day, but she came in to get her gel polish removed, asked me why I had picked all my gel off, and when I told her it was because of stress, she said “You have three days off a week, how can you be stressed??” 

I was livid. She knows I have issues with my anxiety and depression, and she knows I’m currently doing online therapy sessions (which are actually very helpful). One time I told her I had ADD, because she had asked about it, and she immediately turned around and told her one client very loudly, that I was autistic (which is not true). The embarrassment I felt from that was horrific. Another issue I have is that because I’m the youngest one there, if I’m defending myself from an accusation that is not true, she always tells me to be an adult and own up to it.

I have been stressed for months on end, with the passing of my paternal grandmother, paternal grandfather, and my grandmother’s twin sister who is my aunt, in four months and all dying from a cancer that runs through my family. From a lot that has just happened since the beginning of this year to now. I have been so stressed that I haven’t been able to properly take care of myself in weeks. My acne has returned because I’m too fucking stressed to even keep up my daily routine. My laundry has been piling up because I’m too stressed to do anything when I get home. My entire life is a fucking wreck because I can’t get away from her. But the moment I try to leave, she’ll pitch a fit and then demand that I not take any of my clients, who come to me for their nails, when I leave. And she’s so concerned about my damn astigmatism that she constantly insists on me getting contacts when I’ve clearly stated that I’m not getting contacts at the moment because my corrective glasses are more protective of my eyes around dust. 

There’s too much going on. I need to get out of there but I can’t do anything until after the holidays. These levels of stress are honestly killing my drive to write, or to be able to actually function on a day to day basis. My etsy store doesn’t even stress me out this much. I’m looking into bartending, maybe that’ll be something better for me in the long run. Oh, and she gets on my ass about my FX makeup and cosplay hobbies, saying I shouldn’t be making them, or doing anything to further my dream of becoming a makeup artist/FX artist until this and that happens. I pay my bills first and then focus on my hobbies.

I’m just beside myself at this point.I have got to get out of there next year or I’m going to lose my mind and have another mental breakdown because my health is deteriorating from all this stress. Hopefully with this business trip to Cleveland this weekend for a beauty convention, the salon owner will actually be nice to me and my three coworkers. ]

[billysjoel]

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basic info

tj (or taylor) || 28 || cis bi woman || she/her || wisconsin, usa || chronically ill/spoonie || gifmaker || i track #usertj so please feel free to tag me in your creations! i was pcrrycox

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[kansascityhappenings]

Teen who couldn’t form memories after accident makes breakthrough at Utah treatment center

PROVO, Utah – Riley Horner wakes up every day thinking it’s June 11, the day she lost her ability to create memories.

Her story stumped doctors and captivated the nation – now, five months later, Riley has found a beacon of light in Utah. She’s currently undergoing treatment at Cognitive FX, a post-concussion treatment center in Provo.

When she’s not working with Cognitive FX specialists, the16-year-old has been enjoying the nature that now surrounds her.

“It’s really pretty, I love it,” Riley told local TV news station KSTU with a smile. “I will pack my things and live in the mountains.”

But if you ask Riley, it’s the first time she’s been there.

“I don’t know where I’m at, no,” Riley shook her head. “I don’t understand how we got here, or how long we’ve been here, or why we’re here.”

This constant state of confusion has been Riley’s reality for 160 days.

“What happened? Why am I here? Why are we in Utah?” she said as she rattled off unknowns.

She’s now lost 3,840 hours and counting.

“When I try to look back, it’s just not there, there’s nothing there,” said Riley.

To understand Riley’s story, we have to rewind to June 11, 2019. Riley was at an FFA convention in Springfield, Illinois.

“We were meeting up with a bunch of people,” Riley squinted as she said the last thing she remembered.

In an Instagram video captured by one of the teens at the closing night dance, you can see a boy crowd surfing, then he drops – falling on top of Riley.

That’s when everything went dark.

“They took her straight to the hospital from the dance,” said Riley’s mom, Sarah Horner. “They released her; said she was fine.”

She wasn’t.

“Once we picked up Riley, she started having seizures in our backseat and obviously we knew she was not okay,” Sarah explained that started a series of 30 to 45 seizures over the next few hours.

Riley’s family knew it was bad, but it was even worse than they imagined — the 16-year-old had become stuck in a loop of resets.

“It’s like I’m broken,” said Riley.

Every two hours, her brain is a fresh slate.

“It’s just like, what? What happened?” Riley said.

As she goes through her day, Riley feels ‘foggy.’ She describes it as a feeling, some things seem familiar, but she can’t remember doing anything.

“Anything that I’ve been through recently, it’s just not there and so when people talk about it it’s just really, it’s so confusing, because it didn’t happen to me,” Riley explained.

The next morning, it’s like the day before never happened. She wakes up thinking it is still June 11 at the FFA convention.

“When she realizes she’s not there, she knows something’s wrong and then she goes to her phone, she’ll ask questions sometimes, sometimes she doesn’t,” said Sarah. “Sometimes she’ll say, ‘why is there snow on the ground in June?’”

“I have notes on my phone, when I got up this morning there’s like thousands of notes,” Riley said as she flipped through pages of entries on her cellphone.

Throughout the five months since the accident, Riley has gone to five different hospitals and has seen countless doctors.

“He told us she has a concussion and she’ll be better in a couple of days,” Riley said, reiterating what one of the doctors told her.

But with each specialist and hospital, they found more of the same.

“He looked me straight in the face and said, ‘I have no idea what’s wrong with her,’” said Sarah. “We’re at a really good hospital… what do you do?”

Riley had turned into a medical anomaly.

“This is unknown, there’s no protocol, there’s no plan for this,” Sarah said. “It’s horrible.”

All the while, Riley’s life has gone on – without Riley.

“People see her as normal and nothing’s wrong with her, but I see that she’s lost half of her junior year of high school, she’s lost her junior homecoming … she’s lost friends, she’s lost her boyfriend,” said Sarah.

Still, it’s Riley’s future that scares her family the most.

“If she doesn’t get her memory back, right now she’s probably okay, but a year or two years, you’re going to see a difference, she’ll still be a 16-year-old girl,” said Sarah.

“She couldn’t get a job, she couldn’t be on her own, she probably couldn’t have a boyfriend, a husband, she couldn’t have kids … at that point, I just see her future is done,” Sarah continued. “I get that she’s still here, she’s still living, she’s still breathing, but not having a memory, not being able to remember what you are doing every day, does affect your life.”

With each failed doctor’s visit, regaining Riley’s life felt hopeless.

“I’m not the same Riley,” Riley said shaking her head.

Then, on the four-month anniversary of the accident, everything changed.

“Her story went viral,” said Sarah.

They started receiving messages from places around the country, but one stood out above the rest.

“We’ve been to all of these doctors in two different states, now we have somebody out in Utah? That says they can fix her?” Sarah said with disbelief.

So, they got on a plane.

“I believe this is it, this has to be it, we don’t have a backup plan,” Sarah said.

Riley’s mom now calls Cognitive FX the “miracle in the mountains.”

“It’s just basic science applied properly,” said Dr. Mark Allen, a clinical neuroscientist at Cognitive FX and Riley’s doctor.

“So, this is hers,” he said as he pulled up a 3D image of Riley’s brain. “I can tell by looking at it that this one’s not totally normal.”

One brain scan revealed the answers they were looking for.

“The initial scan showed all the typical, all the most typical, brain hallmarks of having suffered a concussion,” Allen explained.

To put it simply, this issue comes from a disconnect in Riley’s brain in the way the cells receive oxygen.

“What happens is that little communication system breaks down, and it’s fixable and it’s really a minor issue, but it leads to major problems,” Allen continued. “The ultimate goal is to get the system back online.”

They believe by fixing the issues in the brain, the memory problems will resolve.

“We can coax the system back into working order,” said Allen.

Using the results, they can then concoct a ‘cure’ of sorts using a combination of different physical and mental therapies.

The therapies help to rebuild the connection in the brain by pairing exercises that rely on coordination, strenuous exercise and memory – used in a specific sequence for set amounts of time, it leads to cognitive rehabilitation.

Most patients do one week of treatments but given Riley’s unique circumstance she took part in two weeks worth.

“I’m very hopeful that the ‘now’ will come back and I can make memories and I can move on from this,” Riley said.

On day 154, Riley had a turning point – her first memory.

“We are in Utah; do you know why?” Sarah asked Riley as she woke her up.

“For a doctor,” Riley replied. “It’s at Cognitive.”

“She’s getting fixed, it’s working, whatever they’re doing it’s working!” Sarah said.

With each day, Riley gets stronger mentally and physically. She said she owes it all to the “miracle in the mountains.”

“Utah already is going to hold a special place in my heart even if I don’t get all the way better,” Riley said. “They’re not going to give up on me, so I’m not going to give up on them.”

By the end of week one, Riley had made a handful of memories – mostly food-related.

By the middle of week two, Riley was able to remember almost everything and finally started to “act normal.” In a message to KSTU, Sarah said, “It’s truly a miracle, I don’t know what else to say! I have seen stuff here and there, but last night it was real to me that I have my daughter back! She will have a future!”

Riley’s will do a final brain scan before being sent home with a 4-week treatment plan. Her eye rehabilitation treatments will continue for another four months.

“I have to repay them somehow, I have to repay because they’re giving me my life back,” Riley smiled.

Riley has always wanted to pursue a career in medicine. She said now, she wants to be a neuroscientist so she can help others like the doctors at Cognitive FX helped her. They did already offer her a job, after all.

Considering the experimental nature of the therapies, the costs were not covered by insurance. The family has set up a fundraising page to pay for the therapies (ringing in at $9,000 per week), as well as the other treatments and incidentals. You can find the page, HERE.

  from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2019/11/21/16-year-old-with-2-hour-memory-starts-to-get-her-life-back-thanks-to-utah-treatment-center/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2019/11/21/teen-who-couldnt-form-memories-after-accident-makes-breakthrough-at-utah-treatment-center/

[eunicethayer0-blog]

Rashes

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[billysjoel]

top 5 tv shows?

ooh good one, though #1 is no surprise lmao

Scrubs

Schitt's Creek

The Office

The Haunting of Hill House/Bly Manor/Midnight Mass (Mike Flanagan pay for my therapy)

Trust (FX)