#THIS IS A FUCKING. MOCKUMENTARY ABOUT. VAMPIRES.

[devilsskettle]

really unhappy with what we do in the shadows rn tbh. i want my boy to kill

[the-kr8tor]

Bloodbath

Pairing: Vampire! Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 2.3k

Summary: Your vampire roommate accidentally gets drunk off of blood.

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, vampire hunter! Reader, wwdits au, mockumentary trope, vampire au, set in the pursuit of blood au, cw blood, cw injury, cw suggestive, fluff.

In Pursuit of Blood Masterlist

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Octobie 🎸

A request from @al1x00 — May I have garlic cloves in a heart shaped bottle please? IPOB!Hobie accidentally drinking the blood of a drunk person and now R has to deal with an incoherent tipsy vampire.(Make sure you get some proper rest and drink lots of water! Ly😽❤) --- i could not pass this one up for the halloween theme it's literally so perfect! Thank you for requesting, angel!!!

“Hobie, no!” You yell just as when he's about to lunge at a poor runner, who's unfortunate enough to jog at night, who just happens to run past you and your very drunk vampire roommate in his enormously large bat form.

The camera pans towards the yelling, lenses zooming in, spotlights shining brightly on the man in the shortest running shorts known to mankind and his entire body floating five feet off the ground as Hobie's claws latch onto his shirt. His screams echo around the park, and Hobie's bat shrieks sound above it like an endless click of a ballpoint pen.

You glance at the camera with your wide desperate eyes, mouth agape and hand pointing at the situation. “Put. Him. Down!” Yelling, you jump up, trying to grab hold of the stranger's trainers. “You've had enough blood!”

The scene shifts to you looking disheveled, hair messed up with your cheek having an unmistakable claw scratch while you hoarsely talk to the camera crew.

“Motherfucker drunk from an incredibly inebriated CEO of a shady tech company.” You explain bluntly.

The lens zooms out of your exasperated face, camera showing you hugging the large shrieking bat in your arms with your jean jacket wrapped around his flailing form whilst he tries and fails to bite and scratch you. “I tried to warn him that the fucker had every drug and cocktail flowing in his veins. But noooo, no one ever fucking listens to me!” You shake him in your arms, making the annoyed and adrenaline filled bat yell in his high pitched shriek.

Hobie's face escapes his denim prison, long ears fluttering in the breeze and fangs in full display as he tries to take a chunk out of you. You manage to dodge his attacks, face turning as far away as you could.

With a crunch of leaves underfoot, the cameraman backs away when you accidentally shove your face in the lens. Panting, the man behind the camera makes sure to keep his distance away from you and the angry bat as it zeroes in on the bleeding corpse right behind you. The body's foot twitches, and the producer takes that as a sign to anonymously call an ambulance.

“Fuck!” You stomp your foot down, and the thousand year old vampire stops his twisting and turning to look up at you with his big red button eyes. Hobie makes a sound akin to a chirp, fangs sticking out from his lip. “We're going home, Hobie.”

He trills in your arms, fuzzy head nudging your chest. You can feel how incredibly warm he is under the denim jacket, a sure fire way to tell that he is still under the influence of…everything.

“Don't flash those pretty eyes at me, you little shit.” You start to walk towards his street, hugging him tight against your chest like a chihuahua gone wild. He sneers, and you realize that he's taking a peek into your head and he did not like that thought one bit. “Get out of your head!” You squeeze him in your arms.

Smirking, you flash an image into your mind of him wearing a fancy three piece suit with a look of sheer egotistical pleasure while counting wads of dirty money. He shouts gutturally, now regretting the little peep inside your mind. The sound makes a few passers by look at you weirdly. The entire camera crew following you around doesn't help. “It's a toy, mind your fucking business.” You say to one of them, making them walk faster away from you.

Sighing, you finally see the dark gothic house around the corner. Its spires just screams ‘there’s a vampire living here!’ and its stained glass windows, circular topiaries, and wrap around porch says that the person living inside wasn't born in the same century as anyone else living in the same street. You still have no idea how no one has noticed their thousand year old neighbor. You love the place though, it's home and you wouldn't have it any other way. Even though the pipes need to be replaced with ones that don't give you some type of rusted water related disease whenever you take a drink from the faucet.

Your trainers stomp on the porch, juggling in between carrying Hobat and getting your keys from your pockets. He tries to escape your hold, head wiggling out of the denim burrito you wrapped him in. You can feel his toes wiggling on your stomach. “Don't you dare, Hobart.” With a stern tone, he falls limp, chirping, sounding like a whine. “Don't be cute with me,” you struggle to find the right key in your carabiner. “we're almost there.” You say much softer this time when the door unlocks.

The second you open the door, Hobie wiggles out and then flies off into the house. He zigzags, making questionable turns as he flies under the influence with his large wings flapping about and accidentally swatting away hundred year old vases and furniture.

“I'll let him empty his energy before I try to sober him up.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, arms crossed as you watch him fly around with endearment. He looks and sounds adorable just squeaking and flying about.

Closing the door, the crew stands just behind you, capturing the perfect moment when Hobie, again, a thousand year old vampire with abilities beyond human comprehension and years of forgotten knowledge from fallen civilizations inside his mind, flies into the far end of the hall. Crashing into the mauve wallpaper, leaving a Hobat shaped mark of dried blood from his unfortunate victims.

His claws try to keep him on the wall but his bat body has run out of steam. He slides down the wall, claw marks dragging down and scratching the wallpaper.

You briskly walk towards him, concerned, you walk a bit slower to feign nonchalance in front of the camera. Once you make it to him, you bend at the waist to look down at his stretched out form. His wings are unfurled, belly up, and ears perked as he sees you in his vision.

“You done now, Hobie?”

With a puff of black smoke, he returns to his form. His legs are sticking up and folded against the wall, arms stretched out next to him with his lopsided grin thrown at you.

“‘ello, lovie.” He chuckles, or giggles more like, as he makes grabby hands up at you. “What am I doin' on the floor? We havin’ our fun time on the floor now?”

The camera crew looks at each other with furrowed brows and questions swirling in their heads. You spare them a look of embarrassment that quickly morphs into fake ignorance.

“Not today,” you say gently, his red eyes sparkling in the yellow light of the hallway. You always wonder why he chose yellow bulbs in some parts of the house including his room. You have a feeling it's because it reminds him of the unobtainable warmth of the sun. “You need your coffin.”

“Will you join me?” He asks, fingers flexing about as he beckons you over. You indulge him, leaning down to let him grasp at your jaw. Surprisingly, he holds you carefully like you're the most valuable thing in the house instead of all the artifacts he gathered throughout the centuries just laying about the home.

“You need to sober up, and you can't do that when I'm hogging all the space in the coffin.”

“That's why I keep tellin' you that we should get a bigger coffin that can fit the both of us together.” He brushes his thumb across your cold bitten lips. Gasping like he got a brilliant idea, he pats each of your cheek, squishing it in his hands, careful not to scratch you with his sharp nails. “We should buy one tomorrow!”

You chuckle, hands reaching up to bracelet your fingers around his wrists, grabbing them to make him unlatch himself off of you. “Okay, sleep first then we'll go out to look for one.”

A wide grin spreads across his face. “Really?”

You subtly (or think that it's subtle enough) kiss his pulse point where you would feel his heartbeat if his heart still beats against his chest. “Really, we'll get a red velvet lined one.”

“How about a coffin with a telly in it so you could watch your shows?”

You smile, “I'd like that. For now, shower first because you smell like the floor of a pub.”

“Still fit though, hm?” Hobie winks, but with his drunkenness, he looks like he's spasming. It earns a guffaw from you, finding it adorable.

“Very handsome, my—” you glance sideways at the camera still recording, you've forgotten about them for a second. Clearing your throat, you help him up on his feet. “Let's go before I puke.” Playing it cool, you still look like your pants fell down to your feet.

Even drunk off his mind, Hobie sees through it, arms snaking along your middle, putting a show in front of the camera by shoving his face into the crook of your neck. Not biting, just smiling against your flushed skin. You can feel his fangs poking and prodding at you playfully.

You curse silently, holding him properly and hiding your flustered expression from the camera as you turn your back from the crew.

—

Locking the bathroom door, you made sure that the camera crew had enough tea and biscuits in the dining room before walking upstairs to check on Hobie. The crews’ chatter echoing from the vents prove that they're well occupied and distracted. Turning around, you face Hobie with a soft smile as he lounges in the bubbly bathtub that smells like Halloween incarnate.

“How's the water?” You ask, closing the distance and sitting down on the closed lid of the toilet to look at him fondly.

Hobie places his cheek on top of the edge of the black bathtub, cheek squished on the porcelain. “Just right, love.” He smiles as steam rises from the water, condensation rising up to the forest coloured tiles, “and the children?”

“Occupied with my expensive biscuits from my godmother.” You place your chin on your palm, eyes flicking from his wet face down to his shimmering torso. “You seem to be having fun with my bath bomb.”

He chuckles, fangs peeking out from his lips. A sign that he's extremely happy, you know it well. “It's red!” With a handful of bath water, he pours it from above to show you its crimson hue. “You're such a big fan of me aren't you? Mimickin’ a fraction of my power.”

“You bathe in a tub full of blood? I don't remember you ever doing that, Hobart.” With a roll of your eyes, you stand up only to sit back down next to the tub. Sitting cross-legged, you place your arms on the cool edge of the porcelain, eyes staring up at Hobie with pure affection while your index finger swirls patterns in the glittery red water. “Sounds like a great bath though.”

“Says the vampire hunter.” He dabs a droplet of water onto the tip of your nose, watching it slowly drip down into the tub. “Stop it with the bloody Hobart, thought we got past that months ago.” He seems completely sober by now, the blood juice box (that may or may not have come from your veins) helped a lot in flushing his system. You always kept them fresh in his freezer next to your orange popsicles.

“Whatever you say, Hobat.” You wink, feeling relaxed with the warmth from the water and the cinnamon pumpkin smell.

Hobie smiles softly instead of scoffing like you thought he would. A single fang peeks out from under his lip, reminding you of an adorable cat. He reaches for your hand closest to him, and then slowly, he puts his head atop your hand, nuzzling close to you. Thumb brushing along your scratch mark on your cheek, he looks apologetic while he heals it with his touch alone. Literally, it's nonexistent now that he poured a fraction of his power atop your warm skin.

Your heart squeezes in your chest. “Just curious, can you turn into a cat?”

“Is that not in any of your tomes?” He raises a brow, red eyes hazy from the hot water and tender affection from you.

You shrug, laying your head down on your arm so that you're facing him adjacently. “I remember reading that it's a rare ability.”

“Yeah?” His eyes soften, leaning ever closer to you. You can feel his cold touch amidst the warmth of the water as his lips gently caress your jaw. From the tip of your jawline down to your chin, he kisses you with so much affection that your breath hitches in your throat and nothing in your mind remains but his lips upon your own. “Tell you what,” he says against your waiting lips. “I'll tell you in exchange for a proper kiss.” He didn't need to open his mouth to say those words to you, you can hear his deep voice in your mind. Whispering those words only for you.

“Deal,” you reply in your mind, and he grins, showing you his fangs that have never scared you. Sharp ends that have always been gentle against your soft skin, fangs that were meant to leave you bone dry, but he never does. Only leaving you woozy on your feet, happy that you've helped him, content in the arms of someone you were meant to kill— taught to kill. You're glad you didn't that day, that day you got close with your wooden stake mere inches away from his heart that you now adore.

He kisses you, and you don't mind the copper taste anymore as the kiss gets sweeter than ambrosia and as saccharine as nectar whilst he pulls you into the tub with him.

Support banner by @/cafekitsune

Custom banners by @the-shroom-garden

[nitw]

bro we are NOT calling wwdits bad queer representation this many seasons in just because they're being kinda annoying about a popular ship that may or may not happen, when we literally have a full main cast of explicitly queer characters who constantly remind us that they're queer in a show that isn't even ABOUT romance. its a hilarious mockumentary about a found family of vampires who also fuck each other sometimes. like that's AWESOME! adding a gay couple would be great but the queerness of the characters and the show doesn't solely depend on their relationships!! Yes Even If They're Bisexual And M/F

[darkshrimpemotions]

Light & Framing in WWDITS: Nandermo Edition

I really have to give props to whoever does the lighting and cinematography for What We Do In The Shadows. They took what could easily have been an excuse to cheap out on those things--the show's format as a half-hour comedy mockumentary--and said a resounding fuck that.

Every frame of this show is gorgeously and thoughtfully lit and shot and colored, and not just the big pivotal moments. Truly every shot. The sets and the costumes also do a lot of heavy lifting here, but still everything is framed so carefully and intentionally. And considering this show is at least 55% fucking improv? That is seriously impressive. I've seen big budget network cornerstone series take less care with their most pivotal moments than this show takes with like...any random moment (I know, I know, it's okay, I can say Game of Thrones).

Take this shot for example (thanks to @indashadows!):

Now bear in mind, this is ONE shot in ONE scene in an episode. An important scene, but not a long one. And yet in this scene, every single detail--from the actors' body language to the framing to the lighting to their fucking outfits--reinforces the underpinning context and subtext of the scene.

Look at Nandor. His posture is so open and vulnerable. He's facing directly toward Guillermo, looking slightly up at him actually instead of down at him like he usually would be. They're almost eye level but not quite. His face is fully lit, and his body is more in light than shadow, with the parts facing Guillermo lit and the parts facing away from him in deep shadow.

Nandor is being very open, honest, and vulnerable with Guillermo in this scene, probably more so than he's ever been before! All the pretense, the aloofness he usually hides behind is now shoved to the back. They're also on nearly equal footing compared to their usual situation, with Guillermo possibly having a slight upper hand due to how thrown everyone, including Nandor, is by the revelation that he's a vampire slayer.

(I know Nandor knew he killed Carol and the Baron, but given those were both accidents I think it's reasonable to say Nandor was still surprised about the slayer from a long line of notorious slayers aspect of the revelation.)

Another way to read this is that Nandor is at a disadvantage because of what he doesn't know in this scene, i.e. that Guillermo can leave any time he wants, that Guillermo has been listening to their conversations, and that Guillermo is using that information now to manipulate him. It's left somewhat up to interpretation whether Nandor actually knows any of this or not, so YMMV there. But the point stands that in either interpretation, Nandor is on his back foot here a bit and the framing and lighting of the scene reflects that.

Now contrast that with Guillermo. His posture is closed off, he's hunched in on himself. He's leaning toward Nandor, but he's not facing him or looking at him directly. His eyes are downcast. He's positioned a little above Nandor, but he's not acknowledging or reveling in that change of position in any way; in fact, he seems to be minimizing it with the way he's standing. Almost his entire body including his face is in shadow, with only the parts facing away from Nandor receiving any light.

Guillermo is not being vulnerable, open, or honest with Nandor in this moment. Whether Nandor knows everything or not, Guillermo thinks he's playing Nandor here. He thinks he has information Nandor isn't privy to (the hole in the cage and the hidden cameras) and knows things Nandor doesn't know he knows (the conversations he's overheard). Guillermo is normally much more open and vulnerable with Nandor, which often results in him getting his feelings (at the very least) hurt. But this is one time when he's consciously choosing to push his care for Nandor to the backburner in order to take care of himself for once.

(I also have FEELINGS about light representing emotional honesty and vulnerability between these two characters in the show about vampires and what they do in the shadows. Maybe I'll scream about them later.)

And here's the real kicker: they are so in odds with their approach here, their usual roles in the relationship are being reversed in ways neither is fully comfortable with...and yet they're still on the same damn page.

They both have the same ultimate goal in this scene: to get Guillermo out of the cage and have the other vampires in the house accept him and stop insisting on killing him. They are both trying to take care of Guillermo in their own ways. And as the show often does, it underscores this in part via the similarities in their outfits (but that is a WHOLE other fucking massive meta-post currently sitting in my drafts).

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

also while I'm making posts about the Stucky poll I've learned that Stuckies are under the impression that Taika would not have been able to make OFMD popular like that if he wasn't The Thor Director, so the MCU made him which. Lol, lmao even. Flight of the Conchords made him in Aotearoa and What We Do In The Shadows made him in the world. Disney doesn't just go to New Zealand and pick up random nobody directors off the fuckin street. He was a popular director in New Zealand and he teamed up with some of his work buddies from FOTC and made a mockumentary about vampires who are roommates which got picked up for a TV series in the US and he became a household name. He's half way to an EGOT and it wasn't Thor that got him those awards it was fucking Jojo Rabbit. Did Thor improve his career significantly? yes. Could he have leveraged an HBO original series with only WWDITS, Jojo Rabbit, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Boy, Reservation Dogs, and Flight of the Conchords under his belt? Yes absolutely he could have that's still academy award winner Taika Fuckin Waititi.

[crobones]

brain came up with a scenario of the first shot of season three being a concert. Louis is at the monitor, as he is directing the documentary about the band. Camera zooms into the monitor and we get that neat transition show and movies like to do. And there's Lestat, staring into the camera "breaking the fourth wall" as it were, but in an In Universe kinda way. It's a song about sex and killing. Lestat teases some fans in the crowd off camera.

CUT TO a medium shot of Lestat pressing Louis up against a wall. Two people wearing Lestat's band merch are in the background, bitten, dazed, but not dead. Lestat is covered in enough blood to imply he fed, but Louis didn't. Oh, so Lestat must've just fed from both of them, right? WRONG. Daniel enters from stage left and presses into Lestat, further pressing him into Louis.

Louis scolds them for not cleaning up after themselves. Daniel says something along the lines of "My Maker never taught me proper vampire etiquette."

Lestat says "Fuck your Maker" and starts muttering insults in French as he starts shedding clothes.

Louis says, "Didn't I teach you better, Danny Boy?" He cups his hand around the back of Daniel's neck, claws digging in enough to make him bleed a little. Daniel moans.

Lestat begins making out with Daniel and quickly pushing off his leather jacket. He mutters to himself in French, it's a fine jacket, but they need to work on his style if he's gonna tag along on their tour. It's background chatter, really.

"Taught me alotta things, Louis," Daniel says telepathically.

Louis is pushing Lestat's hair aside and kissing along his neck and shoulder, but his one hand is still on Daniel's neck.

"Damn right, i did."

Lestat lets out a wanton moan. We don't see Louis' other hand, but his arm is shifting back and forth in a rhythmic motion. Daniel's cradling Lestat's face. He bites into his own wrist and feeds it to Lestat's open mouth.

Daniel and Louis are staring each other down.

"And what was lesson number one?" His grip on Daniel's neck tightens, his claws dragging harsh cuts into his neck. Daniel's eyes close and he smiles and he looks like he could be high. Daniel's free hand moves from Lestat's jaw to around his back. Against Louis' chest. "That's right." Then down, until it's out of view of the camera. His arm also moves in a rhythmic push and pull. "You're mine."

Louis bares his fangs and is about to bite into Lestat's neck when Lestat abruptly breaks apart from them and complains about them speaking telepathically, and how he hates when he can only hear one half of a conversation, but also why isn't their attention on him? What the fuck?

They try to placate him, but he's annoyed now. Daniel apologizes. At first, he makes an off-hand remark about being kind of annoyed that no one got around to touching his dick before the mood was killed. Lestat gives him that Certified Bitchy Look. Daniel says he'll find Lestat's manager and tell them there's gonna be a small delay to get back on the bus. He promises he'll make it up to Lestat later before speeding out of the room in a blink.

my brain first just wanted to start season three with a threesome, but now I feel like my made up screenplay could be a cheeky nod as to why Lestat is now the main focus of the show.

now I'm imagining Louis cheering up a peeved Lestat by telling him he booked Lestat an interview with [INSERT IN-UNIVERSE BARBARA WALTERS]. There's an In-Universe 60 Minutes drawn out into two episodes, but there's 8 episodes in total for the season. First episode is the set up obvi, but the last five are Lestat dealing with the consequences of becoming a Public Figure Vampire. Meanwhile, Louis is still shooting his documentary, and then it's revealed this season is like a mockumentary a la What We Do In The Shadows and Spinal Tap.

[olderthannetfic]

Escapade Dance Party 2023 Writeup 3/3

Second Half

Jaskier has no more fucks to give by Gondolin AMV

Obviously, having just shown the other Witcher, I had to open with the more familiar one.

Vids under 2 minutes also aren't actually danceable no matter the tempo, so this makes a good upbeat intro to a section.

Grandmaster of Troublemaking (The Untamed) by NKZephyr Edits

I love the enthusiasm and goofiness of this vid.

Goncharov (1973) | Read the description! by Etoile

Come on, we had to have Goncharov!

TBH, there were other vids, but basically none of them were danceable.

【HIStory3-圈套】On a daily by Nerjaveika

Trapped's moment seems to have passed, but the combination of great use of text and this fun song made this one a perfect fit.

Ego | AMV | Mo dao zu shi & Heaven Official's Blessing (CC Lyrics) by Nitisha Donghua Productions

I was more looking for Heaven Official's Blessing alone, but most of the options I was finding weren't really danceable. I love this song and was looking for a vid to it anyway.

trouble in my head | lan jue & zhang ping | a league of nobleman by Victoria

I have no clue what this is. I probably found it in the sidebar while searching something else, but it's such a pretty vid.

История Бай Ци (AU, Bai Qi/Shen Zui) by Kemriko

What is this? Who knows. I liked it, and it was m/m, so people got to watch it.

BTS Jhope • Gasolina• |FMV|• by kookie taex

In a concession to how many people the previous song would inevitably chase from the dance floor, I wanted to follow it with something much more booty-shaking. I fucking love Gasolina and am always looking for more vids to it. Tragically, a lot of English-speaking vidding fandom has No Taste and does not vid this kind of music.

Yes, this is a vertical vid of J-Hope dancing to Daddy Yankee. No regrets!

Мания Хирото by Fausthaus

Ah, my favorite source of vids: Russian fandom combats. Are they on AO3? Yes. Have English speakers gone anywhere near their vast stores of battshit content? No, absolutely not.

No one at the con, including me, knows anything about this fandom. Too bad. The music is great, and I wanted to dance to it.

Отступники by fandom Vampires of Central Russia 2021

This is another fandom I spotted in the fandom combats. The vid is shorter than I'd normally show, but I wanted to showcase this interesting vampire fandom that I didn't think most people at Escapade had heard of yet.

Sex and Violence by bironic

Another one breaking my rules. Nandermo was a must-have for a vampire-themed year, but mockumentaries are shot like ass on purpose, and that makes them hard to vid, so my options were limited. Bironic's always a sure thing, if not exactly obscure to an Escapade audience.

Sadly, the embed seems to be dead at the moment.

Sex Drive by Franzeska

Yes, I will always play my own vids when I need to fill a hole in a playlist.

Night Watch was such a passion of mine for a while and the source of my ill-fated attempt to learn Russian. I always meant to go back and add text to this vid to echo the weird subtitles they did for the movie, but I never got around to it. Oh well.

【盾冬衍生】no body no crime 黑暗爽文利刃出鞘兰森/我们一直住在城堡里表哥 by 蜜桃奶霉包

Batshit AUs are my favorite. When I found this, I knew I had to inflict it on everyone.

The Hunger - Say Yes To Heaven by themaybatatter

I had a long list of vampire fandoms, most of which I never did find a vid for, but The Hunger was at the absolute top of my list. After scouring the internet, this was the only arguably danceable vid I could come up with and one of the few in general. What the hell, internet? What the hell?!

“你不了解你的妻子，我吻过她” by 没饭呲了

This would be a lot more danceable if it weren't quite so plastered with show audio… but too bad. As usual, sufficiently horny femslash gets an automatic pass. Everyone swayed vaguely on the edges of the dance floor staring, so I still consider it a success.

【巍澜】这可是极限拉扯的鼻祖！！！ by 甜飞惹

Guardian is another fandom where I'm spoiled for choice, but the Chinese vidders do like to include an awful lot of dialogue. This vid stood out for great dance party music and no audio clips.

Morpheus & Hob | The Night We Met by WolfPhoenixWriter

A lot of people were into Sandman this year. I liked this vid for making me feel a lot of feelings despite never having seen the show and barely remembering the comic.

It's a bit slow dance for Escapade, but I loved the emotion in the song too much to not include it.

Boyfriend | FMV | Yan Wei X Xu YouYi by Nitisha Donghua Productions

I guess this was my horny femslash year.

Lee Soo Hyuk - Gwi (Scholar Who Walks the Night) Savage by Serendipity

What's this? Dunno, but it's got a vampire and this great song.

The Monster by frayadjacent

This one was pure self-indulgence on my part. It was made for a con by a vidder everybody knows, but the vidder felt it required too many content warnings and didn't send it in the end. I, however, reserve the end of the dance party to show more content warnings-heavy things if I feel like it. I despise how fandom has turned into a "compromise" where anything that reaches into my soul is never on the table while pabulum always is. Fuck that. I am the arbiter of what's normal.

This vid lit me up in places I'd forgotten.

Ahs Hotel :| Tear you Apart by xxxxxx

This song was used in the show and there are a billion vids to it, but this one is far better than the others aside from how it just cuts off.

AHS isn't a fandom most at the con are in, but I just had to include its vampire season.

A Shot for the Pain by Franzeska

I honestly did go looking for other Penny Dreadful vids. Sadly, the selection was not impressive, and most of it was not to anything danceable, let alone goth club-appropriate music.

【拔杯|暗黑慎入】你是我奇怪的瘾症 by 两只阿夏跑不快

I've seen a lot of Hannibal vids. Almost all of them are gross. Few are as interestingly edited as this one.

Twilight Zone by hmmyeahokay

Okay, this one is a massive blast from the past. Do people outside of Highlander fandom even remember this bad 2001 movie?

I loved the song, and I appreciated that there was a black lead. That and vampires trump the fact that it's a het vid (ish).

Supernatural ►Cry Little Sister by Gwen

I scoured Youtube for vids to this song. I thought this was a particularly interesting take out of the extensive genre of horror set to Cry Little Sister. (No, seriously, it's a genre.)

【荣耀向我俯首｜kinnporsche】没长出恋爱脑前的少爷们怎么能错过这首BGM by 旧城与笙Zz

Kinnporsche hit big this year. I wanted a really fantastic vid that people hadn't seen. I love that this one is by a Chinese vidder (probably) to a French song.

Sadly no longer online, probably for being of a horny BL series and posted on a Chinese site

Kingdom come by fandom ATEEZ 2022

Okay, ATEEZ isn't a big fandom at the con, but this vid is some sort of kink AU, and I'm always weak for that. It's also to a Taylor song everybody loves.

Last of the Real Ones by colls

I cheated again and included a well-known vidder, but do you know how hard it is to find stormpilot vids? Kylux has like eight billion genius animatics and fan art vids. Finnpoe? Bupkis!

I don't know if people still care about this part of Star Wars, but all of the Bandom trash immediately rushed the dance floor when the song started playing.

louis & lestat | take my breath away (interview with the vampire) by ScribbledDreaming

I have ended with this song before, with finnpoe in fact, so that's a little in-joke for myself.

What better way to end the vampire party than the new IWTV and the most over-the-top vid I could find?

[thenoisethatkeepsmeawake]

Hi there! It seems like you watch a wide variety of horror movies. Could you recommend some interesting or unique vampire films that have caught your attention?

Hi there anon,

I'd sure like to help. Since you say "interesting or unique" I'll skip over the widely praised usual things. Vampire basics like Bram Stoker's Dracula (looks gorgeous, great cast, perfect soundtrack), The Lost Boys (peak 80s style) or Blade (great vampire action).

Only Lovers Left Alive - vampires are somewhat immortal and living long enough brings its own bag of emotions. Dread, depression, nihilism. Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston play longtime married vampires living mostly apart and drifting back into each other's life for a bit. Also blood sucking isn't all that fun with todays diseases. (IMDB)

Near Dark - this is a classic, but sometimes it gets overlooked. Director/writer Kathryn Bigelow tells a sorta western story, but there are vampires in it, except we don't even call them that. It starts with young dude means a beautiful woman, and oops she bites him and then he falls in with the crowd she hangs out with. Lots of violence in this one. (IMDB)

Stake Land - I really enjoy the film "Daybreakers" about a world with vampires being the dominant species and the problems it causes, that is a wider known film of that variety. "Stake Land" is like the discarded sibling, focusing on a post-apocalyptic atmosphere. A vampire hunter finds a survivor who just saw his family being slaughtered and they drive cross-country to hopefully find a safe place. If you like typical zombie-apocalypse genre conventions, then this is a nice vampire version. (IMDB)

Shadow of the Vampire - really not a hidden gem, but I have to mention it. This film tells the story of the filming of Murnau's 1922 "Nosferatu", but in this the lead actor Max Schreck is actually a vampire. Willem Dafoe gives a wonderful performance and it's just film history wrapped into vampire drama. (IMDB)

What We Do in the Shadows - this was definitely unique when it came out and hey, it spawned a whole tv show. A mockumentary about vampires just living in the real world. Just fun to watch. (IMDB)

Cronos - this is Guillermo del Toro's first feature film and tbh it's been forever since I've seen it. There is a device that grants immortality, but the side effects are pretty much turning into a vampire (the hunger for blood, not going out in the sun). An old man finds the device and a not so noble businessman desperately wants it. Fun to see early del Toro and his use of monsters vs human evil. (IMDB)

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night - an Iranian black-and-white film, about a female vampire who is drawn into some family drama about addiction. Not an easy watch, very stylistic (influenced highly by spaghetti western), but also really interesting with the themes of desire and danger. Unique for sure. (IMDB)

We Are the Night - if I'm really honest, I'm not sure I would even call this a good film. There is so much I'd like to change. BUT I also absolutely adore it for being unapologetic about a group of women doing what the fuck they want - as vampires. And there is a reason they don't turn men. This is something that can be build on. (IMDB)

Byzantium - full disclosure, I saw this once and didn't enjoy it much, but I want to give it another shot, because I think I was in the wrong mood back then. Director Neil Jordan is good with visuals and being weird like in "Interview with the Vampire", "The Butcher Boy" ot"Breakfast on Pluto". And here he tells a long interwoven life story of a mother and daughter vampire duo. In a world where vampires have a strict code and used to be mostly noble men. So there is class and gender in the mix, lots of sexuality (there is rape and prostitution) etc etc. Maybe this could be for you, idk. (IMDB)

Let the Right on in - always to be found on a list like this. There is the Swedish film (based on the book) and an US remake that made a few choice changes, but is overall still worth watching. Kinda a bummer to put it out as a vampire film right away. When I read the book I thought it was just a serial killer story and the twists and turns of who is who was a wild ride. There is a young boy who gets bullied at school, but befriends the new kid in the neighborhood who seems to live a weird life. Heavy themes about grooming and the true horror only sets in at the end. (IMDB)

As for simple vampire action, I do love the "Underworld" series. This year's "Abigail" shouldn't have revealed it was a vampire film at all, but it's very bloody and funny, so a quick watch. Also a bloody good time is "30 Days of Night", and I stand by my belief that red blood looks fantastic on white snow. If you like animated films, the anime "Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust" is a great gothic vampire love story. There's lots to find.

[toomuchlovereviews]

Bit (2019)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Yeah, ok. Fine. You got me. Hot, gay, vigilante vampires are a win in my book. This entire movie felt like kicking a man in the nuts but also the scene in My Mad Fat Diary where Chloe tells off that Mean Girl. The whole time, I was rooting for evil to prevail over greater evil.

Also liked hot the vampires abided by REAL vampire rules, not just Twilight rules. I want to see vampires in the real world existing as a new adults. Fuck yeah. The importance of women in this era is so important and necessary to show what and absolute shit-show adulthood truly is.

You should watch if:

you like girl groups one-upping clueless men

you like a teen scream about the horrors of adulthood

you like the song Would’ve, Should’ve, Could’ve by Taylor Swift

Similar titles:

What We Do in the Shadows (2014) (2019-present) (I’m on my knees begging for everyone to watch this vampire mockumentary comedy movie and series. PLEASE.)

idk Twilight (2008) (I guess)

[vapmie]

Omg I post ocs for once

To be fair, they're heavily, I mean heavy inspiration from wwdits

Basically, my own little mockumentary! About for supernatural roommates! [A vampire, a werewolf, a fae, and la llorona]

Basically start off like

[Four people surrounding a coffin and see like omnibus at first but as carma make themselves know their eyes like grow in dark and they run off like Blair witch project just reveal a vampire with face draw with dicks and words written “iarchmybacula” across their forehead]

And then first person talking head is the vampire

-

"Hello, I'm Esteban Del Muerte because I was known as death in my time. And I'm bilingual! Im a rather young vampire as well, only 100!- [muffle off screen] excuse me? [More muffles] I'm how old?? [Silence as counting on their fingers] fuck wait i- [cut and now different shot ]

but one thing people kinda overlook about being a vampire.. is well rent. Now I hear you saying “oh esteban, wonderful handsome esteban. Why don't you use hypnosis and get off scotch free!” For that i say, it's the fact that it's really hard and about principle! so well I have roommates! Most vampires make their own colony with other vampires, but well, uh, my ad wasn't very let say specific "

-

Pretty much all I got so far

[castlebyersafterdark]

I think the overall thing to take away here is it's so fucking cool there's a list to have opinions on at all?? I feel this barely skims the surface.

since the topic of other queer tv shows was brought up I was wondering if you’ve seen queer as folk? I just started watching it a couple of weeks ago it’s an older show that was like a true cable tv show with like 40min episodes every week and I think it would’ve drove me crazy if I had to of watched it while it aired bc that show is so addictive

idk what type of humor you like but WWDITS is really good! my brother and I watch it and I don’t even think he knows it’s a queer show bc the show doesn’t make it a main point that the characters are queer it’s just like oh we’re vampires of course we’re queer we’ve been living too long to care what people think so we just fuck whoever we want

I haven't actually watched it! I feel like I should though. I'm really not as versed in TV as I should be for someone who spends so much time invested in fandom haha there's so much I haven't seen. Adding it to my list. I know it's pretty well regarded so I'm looking forward to it whenever I get around to watching some new stuff.

Humor is really hard to pin down for me and my biggest hangups with WWDITS ate two-fold with me not really caring about vampires and also not really being into the mockumentary style (or have I misunderstood the show). I don't know, that format never clicks with me. But maybe the ridiculous concept might work if I give it a shot. I've just disliked all the shows that use that style so far. Hard to say why, since they're not all embarrassment humor. I think a lot of comedy these day relies pretty heavy on secondhand embarrassment and that is just not entertaining to me, even if not the intent. Or if the humor is from cringey moments, no thanks! Hard to describe. I need to just make a list of shows and watch the first two episodes of each and see what grips me without the pressure of oh gosh, gotta watch the whole first season and decide if I want to watch the whole series. Too intimidating.

I like that concept though for the vamps because, true, right?? What a concept. We've been here forever, why would we be straight, of course not haha. Solid premise...

[the-kr8tor]

could i get garlic cloves and a ❣️ for hobie? r is trying to sneak him somewhere as a bat. or maybe sneak him out of animal control or smth? -@thesevenofstaves

YEEESSS MORE VAMP HOBIE!!! I wrote this with IPOB in mind, I hope that's okay! Thank you, bestie 🩷

Pairing: Vampire! Hobie Brown X fem! Reader

Word count: 1.3 k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Set around my vampire Hobie series (In pursuit of blood), CW blood, mockumentary AU, Wwdits AU, Fluff!

In Pursuit of Blood fic

Katy's one year celebration 🎉

“So yeah, that's how I found out that my great aunt was a succubus—” you stop talking suddenly, blinking, eyes roaming around the walls of Hobie's mansion. The camera crew follows you as you look under the couch and even peek inside the grand piano. “Do you guys fucking hear that?”

The camera shakes its head. You look at it weirdly, “you could just say no, Jason, like a normal person—” you gasp, “there it is again!” You frantically move books from the bookshelves, making the crew dodge oncoming hardbounds. “Is this a prank? Am I getting punk’d right now?!” You scream, footsteps heavy as you trudge along the big living room, tossing and turning things around. “Hobie! Where the fuck did you put the speakers you mythical bloodsucking straw!”

You suddenly straighten up, finger scratching your ear, eyes turning from confusion to amusement. “Oh you fucking idiot!” You guffaw, palm slapping your knees in laughter. The crew look at each other, not knowing what to do when their subject turns cuckoo. “Okay, I'll—” you breathe for air, tears in your eyes as you laugh. “I'll save you, you big ancient baby.” Nodding, you roll your eyes, “fine, I'll be subtle. No explosions, yep…wait not even a little? I bought this new thing from amazon— yeah okay, bye! Close the fucking link I don't want you in my brain!”

Your shoulders sag, smiling at the befuddled camera crew. “Good news I'm not crazy! That was Hobie talking to me telepathically and he— you know what, I should just show you what he wants.” You beckon them over to the front door while you put on your jacket and take your keys. “It's called the mind gift,” based on the producer's eyes, you already know that she was about to ask you the question. “You get old enough, you start getting different abilities. Don't ask me how, that's just the way it is with vampires.”

The camera hard cuts to you driving in your new kia. In the corner of the shot you can see the camera man's hand gripping tightly around his seatbelt as you drive recklessly, like you just learned how to drive yesterday. Or you just knew what a car is.

“Relax,” you say, smiling sweetly at the camera even though you pass a red light. “No one's even on the road this late at night. So calm down.”

Hobie's voice once again appears in your mind, ‘hurry up, love, I think this chihuahua next to my cage wants me. And it's not the hunger type of want.’ You snort at his comment. ‘Please? I'll make it worth your while.’ he says with flirty undertones, making you roll your eyes, cheeks warm.

The camera visibly shakes. The mic picks up a faint ‘I’m gonna die.’ The crew following behind you with their own van can barely keep up with you. They pity Jason right now.

“Okay, listen.” You start, the car is zooming past the road beyond the speed limit. “Hobie wanted to hunt some poor rich sap but,” there's rapid honking around you, “something happened, he wouldn't tell me exactly what, so he had to get out quickly and turn into his vampire form. Now animal control caught him at the park because he was too hungry to return to his form.” The car suddenly screeches to a halt, making Jason the camera man almost fly off his seat.

You park your car at an animal control center, the camera zooms in your determined face. “Operation: save my idiot vampire roommate has begun.” Your head quickly swivels towards Jason who seems like all the colour on his face has gone. “Don't fuck this up for us, Jason.” You point at his still chest.

You exit your car with the slam of the door. The rest of the crew follow closely behind you as you enter the animal control center with an uncanny smile that has the front desk worker perturbed.

“Hi, this might sound weird—”

“What's up with the camera crew, lady?” The man asks, blinking away the bright lights, weirded out by the whole situation.

“Oh, we're making a documentary.”

“About what?” The man brightens up, subtly fixing his hair with his hand.

“Uh…” you look at the crew for answers, they're not helping with their empty looks. “...About bats, yeah, bats. We're from national geographic actually.” You hear Hobie in your head ‘national geographic? Really, love? You don't look like the Steve Irwin type. Although, you'd look good in some khaki shorts.’ Blinking him away, you continue to convince the man. “And one of our bats escaped from their enclosure. You see that man over there?” Raising your finger to point at Jason, you accuse him as he stands there awkwardly. “His name is Hobie,” Hobie's laughter in your mind echoes. “And he's an idiot y’know, he's a nephew of our director so we just had to take him in. You get me?”

The man in the front desk nods, judging ‘Hobie.’ “Yeah, I know the type.” He whispers to you. “We have someone like him here too.”

You nod in understanding. “They're not the brightest, right?” Hobie's cackling laughter buries deep in your mind, almost making you laugh too. ‘you're making me have it, huh?’ Jason frowns at you while he zooms in your apologetic face.

Tapping the desk, you smile at the man again. “So! Our bat, please?”

“I'd ask for papers like usual but I'm too lazy.” Now it's you judging the man. “If you can get him from the back yourself without getting rabies then you're free to take him.”

“Yeah, okay.” You shrug, and you hear Hobie breathe a sigh of relief. Opening the doors, you're greeted by a dozen small animals, all angrily calling out to you. “Wow, this reminds me of my cousin's room!”

Your eyes roam over the cages, looking for a familiar bat. The producer points at a bat on your right, she has her hand on the lock but you stop her midway. “That's clearly not him. Good try though.” The bat squeaks, lunging at the cage, almost biting the producer's hand.

Hobie's voice calls out to you, then you see a black bat with large wings rattle its cage. That's Hobie alright. “Aww,” you tease, “is it just me or you look extra adorable right now?”

‘Open the bloody door!’ Hobie telepathically screams at you, continuing to rattle at his cage. Squeaking angrily. You guess that he's starving now that he has tossed being sweet.

“In a minute.” You say, pulling out your phone to take numerous pictures of him. There's selfies of you with the angry bat, and even a group picture of the crew and bat Hobie. With one final click of the camera, you finally open the cage.

Hobie comes flying off towards your face, clinging to you, claws holding on to you and his tiny bat body covering your entire head. ‘Thank you, lovie.’ He says in your mind, his tiny fanged face nuzzling you sweetly. The camera crew takes numerous angles of the whole ordeal. ‘Take me home, ‘m hungry.’

“Will you let go of my face first?” Your voice is muffled by his fuzzy bat body.

‘nah, you're too comfortable.’

“No blood for you then.” You warn, and it works as he reluctantly moves over to your shoulders instead. ‘Fine,’ he grumbles, squeaking disappointedly.

Waving goodbye to the front desk who again stares at you all confused, you have successfully rescued your idiot vampire roommate. Placing him on your passenger seat, he shakes his head when you coax him into turning back to his form.

Jason records from the backseat, eyes flicking from you and the agitated bat. He knows exactly what's about to happen.

“What am I supposed to do? Let you drink from me again?”

There's a bout of silence, and then Hobie the bat nods his tiny head.

With a huff, you give him your hand to bite into. “One sip, Hobie, enough to turn you human.” He nods, mouth opening to take a bite. You look over your shoulder towards the camera. “Cut the fucking camera, Jason.”

Hobie sinks his teeth into you just as the camera shuts off. But not the mic though.

[consultingfujoshi]

AAARRGHHHH I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. I want to sleep until thursday night so I don't have to THINK about this show anymore. its driving me crazy. its the being really secretive about this episode to the point they are reusing clips from last episode instead of clips from the upcoming one in the trailer its the bts pic of guillermo lying on nandors coffin as nandor looks down at him its the stunt director directing this episode but saying there's no action in it at all and instead it's the most emotional episode of the season but we know the apparent nandermo fight from the pic is from episode 9 because of the big fucking map on nandors coffin that guillermo is lying on top of that colin was reading 2 episodes ago which also appeared in a teaser pic so what is the TRUTH its the whole nandor going into super slumber but theres no clips of him actually sleeping and also we know this episode is colins birthday so the super slumber plotline is very clearly a read herring why are they even lying about that its guillermo being in his vampire killer fit this whole episode despite him not being out actually hunting vampires its the episode being called "a farewell" but No clues as to who its a farewell to or the trailer even mentioning anything like that its the next episode description saying the vampires mourn the loss of one of their own even though nandor JUST left and came back so who's gonna leave again so soon its matt saying laszlo and colins friendship this season is the crux of everything its them also saying laszlo has a clear goal this season that's been set up all season but the pieces won't come together until right at the very end its the final episode being called the portrait when the only thing it could realistically be alluding to is the glitter portrait of guillermo as a vampire in the pilot but if that's brought up again it either means guillermo is gonna get turned (not realistic because its still only season 3) or he's gonna get rejected again it's the crew saying this is part two of a three part story that started with nandor leaving but that apparently was not the farewell episode 9 alludes to its nandor going back to rejecting guillermos touch and his affection again after all that shit they went through last week its harvey saying this season is full of realisations it's kayvan saying everything nandor is looking for this season he already has with guillermo it's the lead writer saying this season is about nandor looking for love and next season being about him actually finding love its. everything. its all going around and around in my head and I cannot make anything of it I cant sort it into a theory or a narrative its just THERE and I cant do anything with it. I cannot take it anymore ive had enough

[chatonyant]

semi-immortal curious alchemist with no regard for their safety and life meets slutty murderous similarly-curious vampire

[icewindandboringhorror]

I hate the idea of “modernized” adaptations.. if anything we should do the opposite.. take a popular show from 2015 and remake it set in the 1850s or 1400s or something.. it’s about the COSTUMES, it’s about the settings...!! i see fucking iphones and skinny jeans and mcdonalds and automobiles every day of my life.. it’s boring!!!! WHERE are the people in long velvet cloaks.. the elaborate architecture.. the showcase of previously forgotten technology and culture relevant to the time period.... 

[between-two-fandoms]

Why havent I seen more people talking about What We Do In The Shadows on Hulu? It's a goddamn fucking masterpiece.