#FUCK that shit was so good. how do people just put this stuff on the internet for free
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YOU ARE MARRIED??!!
-Wayne Manor, Gotham-
Cass is not having a good time. From the Arkham breakout last week all the way to losing a bet with his siblings on who is going to attend the gala with Bruce. And now this annoying lady kept asking her about her preference in men or something. And Bruce can't help her since he is being occupied by those rich assholes about investment or stuff.
Vicky: So, Miss Wayne. Is it true that you have a secret boyfriend?
Cass: No.
Vicky: Then how about that pict-
Cass: I'm already married.
Vicky blue screened as Cass finished her sentence. Cass takes the chance and slips away from her before she starts barraging her with questions. Revealing that she is married may not be the smartest thing she has done but she is very annoyed at people who keep asking her about her secret significant other. If they want to ask, at least use the proper term.
Just as Cass reaches the hallway, she is scooped up by two strong arms and is carried away to the Batcave. Cass looks to her side to see Dick and Jason both holding one of her arms each and looking very pissed. Well, Dick looks very pissed. Jason looks like he is having fun. Cass doesn't struggle and just lets her brothers carry her to the Batcave to have the talk.
They put Cass on the couch and proceed to guard the exit of the cave on the off chance that she decides to escape. Not that she would because she and her husband have been thinking of breaking the news to their respective family for awhile now.
She waited for a few hours while playing on her phone. Her main phone. Not the one she used to contact her husband since this family has a lot of competent hackers. She knows that being married is like a big deal. But she doesn't expect it to be such a big deal.
When she says everyone is here, she means everyone. From all his close family all the way to Selina (Bruce's fiancee), Roy (Jason's boyfriend), Kori (Dick's wife), Kon (Tim's boyfriend), Jon (Damian's bff) and even Harley and Ivy is here. She is also pretty sure that Clark is listening from somewhere but it's not like she is trying to keep it a secret anymore, so the more people there are the less she needs to explain.
Harper: So what are we here again? I would rather be home to polish my new gun than in this cave.
Dick: Since everyone is here, I would like to apologize for calling all of you in such short notice.
A murmur ranging from 'it's fine' all the way to 'I want to sleep' sounded in the room.
Dick: Anyway, let's get to the main topic shall we. For starters, I would like to say that none of us wishes to control who you dated nor who you choose to be your partner.
Some more murmurs sounded in the room.
Dick: HOWEVER! We would really appreciate it if you wish to marry someone, at least notify one of us since being married is a big deal.
More murmurs sounded as all of them have a rough idea on what the topic going to be.
Dick: So, the person in question, would you like to explain yourself?
A spotlight lights up on top of Cass, directing all the people's attention to her. She doesn't even know there is a spotlight installed in the cave.Cass stands up and looks at the crowd. She replies, "No."
Everyone is stunned by her reply. They expect many types of replies but no is certainly not one of them.
Tim: Fuck you mean no?
Alfred: I would prefer this conversation to remain civil and proper please master Timothy. I would also like to express my extreme displeasure at the fact that I am not notified by your marriage Mistress Cassandra.
Cass goes still at Alfred's sentence. Okay, shit is really serious. As much as she loves messing with them, she would rather not have her food burnt on the inside. (No one knows how Alfred manages to do that.)
Cass: Ehem, I'm just messing with you. It is a long story but to make it short, my husband and I met when we were in Hong Kong. We met after he got roped in one of the gangs that I was busting. After we met and a little misunderstanding, he helped me to dismantle the underground drug labs across Hong Kong.
Tim: So he is also a vigilante?
Cass: Ex-vigilante. He has a daughter now so he is taking care of her.
Dick: You get pregnant?!! How? When?
Cass: I did not get pregnant. But she is technically my daughter.
Jason: Like how Lian is with me?
Cass: No. Biological daughter.
Kon: Umm, guys. I think Bruce needs to rest a little. His heart has been beating a little too fast for even him.
Dick and and Tim are closest to Bruce realizing that Bruce's face has been impossibly pale for quite a while now. They take him to an empty couch and let him lay there and rest for a while. Everyone's reactions range from amused to straight up concerned that Bruce's career as Batman might get cut short today.
It takes a while but as soon as Bruce is fine, they continue another round of questions and answers.
Bruce: How long have you been married?
Cass: Next week is our 3rd anniversary.
Duke: Wait. Didn't you plan to go to Hong Kong for some time next week? You even ask me to cover your patrol because you say you need to go somewhere.
Cass: I don't lie. I missed last year's anniversary since there was an Arkham breakout at the time.
Duke: Dude, still not cool. You are going on a date with your husband while I need to spend hours running on top of buildings around Gotham. So not fair.
Jason: Was the present you asked me to send last year also was for your husband?
Cass: Yes.
Jason: I've been your middle man all this time and I don't even know.
Barbara: I found it! This is the registration for marriage between Cassie Cain and Daniel Fenton. You used a fake name?
Cass: Yes. You will know otherwise.
Bruce: Why do you hide it?
Cass: I'm not sure all of you are gonna like him and vice versa.
Dick: Is he a bad person? I will kill him if he treats you badly.
Cass: No. He doesn't trust all of you at first.
Steph: And why is that?
Cass: He thinks the Justice League is working with the government. So by extension, all of you are associates of government to him.
Steph: Why is he running away from the government? Is he a criminal?
Barbara: No. He doesn't have any criminal records in his name. Except for the fact that he is practically nonexistent before he is 18, there is nothing wrong with him.
Tim: Is it a forged identity then?
Cass: No. The government wiped away his records.
Dick: What? Why?
Cass: I don't know.
Damian: I expect you to at least do a background check on someone before marrying them, Cain.
Dick: Did you get married with someone you barely know? Do you understand how dangerous that is? What if he just dipped you after you got married?
Cass: *Rolls her eyes* He isn't a bad person. I make sure of that at least. I know he is some sort of meta tho-
A green portal suddenly appears out of thin air making everyone be on guard except Cass. She expects Danny to come out of the portal to greet her but what comes out baffled her.
A young girl that looks a little like Cass riding on a big wolf comes out of the portal swiftly towards Cass. Everyone is just about to shoot their weapons when the girl's word shock them.
???:Mama!
Everyone: Mama?!!
#danny phantom#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#batfam#danny x cass#dead silent#cassandra cain#cass x danny#justice league#dc x dp
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Isn't that sweet, I guess so
Part 1, Part 2
pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
summary: The secret's out, Steve's proud of himself, and you can't seem to keep your mouth shut
A/N: chat there is no way I put out 2 fic in the past week, this has never happened to me before! yay everyone cheer. again, i have no idea where this story is going how far im gonna go, i def want to try writing other stuff and idk if this is the best place to put and end to whatever this series is but again, we shall see i guess. thank you all so much on the love on my last two works you have no idea what that means to me! please please PLEASE send me asks or comment what you'd like me to write next or if you want a pt4 i need help people
warnings: sfw, swearing, fluff, idiots who like each other
Facing your fears is tough. No matter what it is, no one would actually choose putting themselves through a situation in which they know would cause them extreme distress. For some that may be going on a rollercoaster, interacting with a clown, going into a dark forrest alone, it could even be making a phone call by yourself to schedule a doctor's appointment (which is a valid fear to have, thank you very much.)
And here you were, facing your fears: being sat in your living room with Steve Harrington 3 feet away from you for an extended period of time. It's only been about 15 minutes, where no talking has happened since minute two.
You hope you can get to 30 minutes without fainting.
As you attempted to focus on the book in front of you, Jane Austen's words, who usually kept your focused for hours on end, were not being absorbed by you in the slightest. How could they, when Steve fucking Harrington was in your house.
Steve is the type of guy who Jane Austen would write about, you thought, eyes flickering towards him as he hunched over his book, face crinkled in concentration, trying to understand said author's musings.
The swoop of his hair, the two moles near his neck, his deep, beautiful, chocolate eyes, his gorgeous smile, and my god those arms? Yep, Jane would be absolutely obsessed with him.
"God, why did I agree to do this book?" You are snapped out of your daze at Steve's words. "What do you mean?", you replied. He gave you a look that can only be described as "seriously?"
"I mean, that I can barley understand what any of these characters are saying half the time, and honestly, it's a bit boring. I thought you would have better book recommendations," he said, running a hand through his hair to push it out of his face.
A scoff left your mouth before you could stop it. "Excuse me, are you actually hating on Pride and Prejudice, the best romance story of all time, the romance story, period." You leaned over and snatched his book. "I mean, come on! You are literally only 6 pages in, you can't just judge it that quickly, you haven't even gotten to the good parts yet!", you exclaim.
Steve watched you with an amused look on his face, unbeknownst to you, who kept rambling on, trying to convince Steve this book was worth continuing.
"— and Elizabeth, she is just funny, like actually hilarious. There is one part where she basically tells someone that I'd rather not be wasting my air talking to someone like you, like please, how did she even come up with that? Also, I'm just obsessed with this proper English style of speaking, or writing I guess, because they're basically talking shit but covering it up with fancy words! And when—"
"You talk a lot, don't you?"
You look up from the book and towards Steve, eyes widening slightly, realizing you had indeed been talking too much.
"One of my greatest faults, some may say, and by faults I mean my mom, but she only tells me this when we're arguing, so..." You glance away from Steve's face for a little reprieve. God, he's so hot.
"Well, like a good partner," you continue. "I'm trying to help you get some of this project done, and maybe if Robin were here, she could've helped," you defended yourself, crossing your arms, "which I'm still confused about, by the way. You said something about her telling you earlier how I invited you guys and some other people to work on the project together, but then she doesn't show?"
Steve leans back in his chair, also crossing his arms. You glance down for a quick second and send a quick thank you to anyone who's that Steve is wearing a tight shirt that beautifully enunciates his biceps. Or maybe you should be mad at them, you don't know yet.
"Maybe it's the fact that she noticed, like I did, that it's been a month since this project was assigned and we haven't even started," Steve countered, "which is unlike you, you usually want to get stuff done ASAP."
You look at him in confusion. "How the fuck do you know that?"
Steve smirks, "I also happen to know that you don't have a sister, thanks to that lovely dinner with your mom." You shake your head in disbelief, mentally making a note to yell at your mom later.
"Isn't that what you said one of the many times I asked you to work on the project?" Steve looked so amused with himself, all cocky and proud that he had uncovered your lie. Your brain tried desperately to come up with a realistic enough explanation, but nothing was coming up.
You throw your hands up in defeat. "Ok, fine! I lied! Is it just so hard for you to believe that maybe, just maybe, not everyone in that high school wants to spend time with you outside of it?" Oh my God, why the fuck would you say that, you screamed internally.
Steve stared at you for a second before letting out a chuckle. " You know, I did think of that actually, but only for a bit." He reaches out for the book and grabs it from your grasp, flipping to a random page.
"You can only run away from a guy so many times before he catches a hint," he peers over at you, " and I mean literally, you're a fast runner, did you ever do track?"
"Yeah, in middle school," you answer quickly. Steve lets out a hum of agreement before placing his attention back on the book. You open your mouth, about to quip about being careful to not rip the pages when he speaks again. "I know I'm dumb, but I'm not an idiot, ya know?"
Your gaze snaps to his face. "Steve, I don't think you're dumb." He doesn't look too convinced. "Eh, I think you do. But you're interesting, you took me a lot longer to figure out than the others since girls just typically throw themselves at me."
You make a face of disgust, "Ok, you sound like a total prick, you know."
"Yep, heard it after I said it, but that's not the point here." He point his finger at you, "You have a crush on me."
You splutter out a sound of indignation. "Hello, what?" In your head, fire alarms are sounding. It's a code red, all hell is breaking loose. "Pfft, no I absolutely do not."
Steve raises his eyebrows. "Then how else do you explain the running away when you see me anywhere at school? You always have an insane excuse why we're not able to meet up to start the project, which some are hilarious," he admits, "but you've got me complaining about not doing homework, look what you've done to me!"
At this point you've gone silent, mouth agape with an excuse stuck in your throat refusing to come out. Steve's expression has changed, his eyes bore into yours with earnest, almost as if he's anticipating a certain answer, hoping for it. "So?"
You muster all the courage you have left and just when you're about to respond, Steve interrupts you again for like, the 15th time.
"Anyways, I've to get going, have some things to do and whatever." He gets up, shrugs on his jacket and then places his books in his backpack. You get up too, having absolutely no clue how to tell him not to go, that you want him to stay. "Steve, what do you mean?"
He glances over at you, "Nothing, I just have to go. I'm a busy guy." He starts making his way to your front door, leaving you behind in the kitchen, trying to understand what the fuck just happened. First, he accuses you of having a crush on him, which you do, and then he just thinks he can leave?
Oh, absolutely not.
With a new wave of determination, you catch up to Steve just as he's finishing putting on his shoes. "Say thanks to your mom for me for dinner, it was great," he says as he grabs the door handle. You don't let him continue with whatever stupid thing he was going to say next.
"Listen Harrington, I don't know what the fuck just happened back there, but the fact you think can just, leave after dropping a bomb like that is ridiculous," you say, glaring at him in annoyance, and Steve's just staring back at you with that stupid, stupid, smirk that has not left his face since the moment he stepped foot in here.
"So what if I did like you, huh? What if I did have a crush on you? Because I do, but that, quite frankly, is none of your business, none of your concern, actually, so... yeah." Steve is looking at you and you're looking at him, a little out of breath after your declaration. You don't have the energy right now to fully process what you just said.
All of a sudden, Steve seems to break character, the smugness gone, replaced with subtle endearment. He leans down and presses a swift kiss on your cheek before whispering, "Well, it's a good thing I like you too." He straightness back up and says, "I told you I knew you were different, you're a mystery. You're lucky running away seemed to work on me, by the way. I don't think it would for everyone else," he says while you stare at him in shock. You've been rendered silent once again, with nothing but the thought that Steve likes you back, repeating over and over again.
You clear your throat before speaking, "Well! Um, yay?" You truly have no idea what to do right now. Steve chuckles at your reaction, like he can't believe his words have caused you of all people, who continuously talk and talk and talk, to not have anything profound to say for once. He's kind of into it.
Steve grabs your hand and encases it with the other. "Come over to my house tomorrow after school, I'll drive you. We can work on the project and you know, talk, if you want." You nod fervently, "Yeah, yeah ok."
He smiles and drops your hand. "I really do have to go though, I wasn't making that up," he remarks as he opens the front door. "Oh, sure, that's fine," you reply. You hold open the door for him and watch as he descends the steps and makes his way towards his car. You watch him, holding onto the door for dear life.
As Steve gets into the car, he looks over at you and waves, "I'll see you tomorrow!" You wave back and yell back, "Yeah, tomorrow!" You don't go back inside until the car is out of sight. As you shut the door, you press your back against it, trying to wrap your head around what exactly happened in the last few hours.
Holy shit, you though, Steve Harrington likes me. Steve fucking Harrington. You let out an involuntarily squeal of excitement and immediately regret doing it as your mother calls down from upstairs. "Mija, are you ok? What happened?" Hearing her voice reminds you of her involvement over the events that transpired tonight.
Putting your happiness on hold for a moment, you start to storm up the stairs. "Mom!", you yelled, "How could you embarrass me like that, asking him to stay over for dinner, you know how I feel about him, I just about fainted 5 times throughout the night, how does that make you feel!? You almost killed me an—"
You would thank your mom later, because ultimately she helped, but for now, you'll stick to this.
#what am i doing#stranger things#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x you#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fic#steve harrington x y/n fluff#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington x female reader#stranger things fanfic#fluff
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Girl Dinner
@pedrospookie made the cutest fucking mood board for this fic, she also gave me so much inspiration for this! Let's all thank her for her perfect brain.
Part 1 of 4- Knocked Loose
Rating: explicit -
kidnapped!Joel x isolated&unhinged&potentially crazy!reader (no use of y/n, no physical descriptions besides having hair long enough to hold and fall into your face, the reader is actually crazy, talks to herself- hears little voices in her head. You gotta know this going into it)
thanks to @bonezone44 for this idea.
w/c : 9k (whoops)
Summary: After the civilized world you once knew came to an end-- the men that survived... well they just take, take, take. Growing tired of having things taken from you-- you have a hankerin' to take somethin' for yourself... and make him perfect.
warnings/tags: non-con/dub-con/ altered mental state(?) throughout the entire thing. stockholm syndrome, violence (reader and Joel both get hurt) Joel is an unwilling participant... or is he? cockwarming, unprotected P in V, dirty talk- more to come.
authors note: Hey! I know a lot people get icked out by the idea of non-con or dub con, and that's fine, but I like it, so I'm gonna write this. I don't think any of this should be acted out ITRL. DON'T KIDNAP PEOPLE!! This is your last and final warning just so everyone is aware of what's going on. this is unbeta'd, poorly proofread and probably incoherent. I love you all so, so, so much.
The weather is finally starting to change, it's not as hot as a pigs asshole anymore, and you wake up feeling refreshed, rather than sticky and sour from sleeping in a pool of your own sweat all night long.
The first thought that comes to your head though isn't the changing weather, or how you'll eventually need to break out your warmer clothes soon, nope— you don't give a shit about any of that.
It's just Mister-man that you're thinking about.
He might be the most pretty thing you've ever seen. With his shoulder length, brown and gray curls, and his patchy facial hair that matches so nicely. The thought of how rough and scratchy it would feel against your tongue makes your spine tingle.
Mister-man is a big boy. Hefty, broad, and looked so strong whenever he came into the mall.
You've been watching him for a while. He comes around every three or four days snooping in all the stores for supplies.
It's like he doesn't even know you're here…or if he does, he doesn't care. Rude! You're a pretty girl!
He's just coming to take our stuff, just like the rest of the monster-men out there. If he finds us, he might wanna take-
"Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!" You put your hands over your ears, even though those voices just get louder when you do that.
Mister-man wouldn't hurt'chya…
Yes, he would. He's a man.
"It's too early for this," You grumble, sitting up in your bed.
The mattress store is nice and clean, just how you left it last night before you crawled into bed. You think about how it would be alarming if it wasn't exactly how you left it before you went to bed. You did your nightly walk-through to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be, and that there weren't any extras hanging about.
As you get dressed, you think about what the dark voice was about to say. You know exactly what Mister-man would try and take from you if he found you. What all the other men in this fucking place want from you.
It's hard to make any of that matter as you skip to your hiding spot in the rafters above the food court. That's where he always enters from, even though the easier entrance with less glass and boards to climb through is on the other side of the mall.
It's a good thing you set up a trap there too, if he comes in through that entrance, at least you'll hear the snare go off and hopefully get to him in time to get his gun and knife.
Mister-man is a creature of habit, he doesn't like to switch things up, Sug. He'll come through this door.
He might. He might not. Mister-man might be playing your game better than you, kid.
"Well then, it's a good thing I thought of everything," you murmur, climbing up the discarded scaffolding to get into the rafters.
It's not scary up here, you like the thrill of knowing if you made one mistake—
Goner!
Splat!
"I've never fallen though!" You giggle, settling in to the perch just above the now blown out glass doors. It's a comfortable little spot, and you've arranged some blankets and pillows from the mattress store up here so you can nap if you want. There are some snacks, and bottles of water in case you have to stay up here for more than just a couple hours, keeping an eye out for Mister-man.
People must have stayed here in the mall during the outbreak, or right after because the doors are boarded up the best they can be, and the tables and chairs from the food court are set up all around like a barricade.
It was perfect, less work for you to have to do, and no one else bothers to come in here anymore— it's either too far, too hard to get too, or not worth the pay out.
Not for our lovely, handsome, soon to be perfect, Mister-man; the reason he comes every week is so sweet.
You wondered why he kept coming back when there really isn't much to scavenge anymore: every single store had been picked through before you got here, and you went and took the last of whatever anyone else didn't want or need and squirreled it away in a nice hiding spot.
Mister-man came every three or four days-- so that he could sit his ass in a comfortable recliner for a couple hours.
Remember that time he took a nap?
"Of course I do! How could I forget?!"
It's the cutest thing, and you love to watch him relax. Rest. Let his guard down for a little while.
"Slept like a lil baby that day," you mumble, feeling the heat spread up your neck and behind your cheeks. It's impossible to not smile at the memory of Mister sleeping in his chair, arms behind his head, snoring loudly.
His hair was real soft...'n he smelled so..
Why does he let us get so close? It's gotta be a trap.
Oh shut up, maybe he wants us to get close!
"I don't think he can hear me too good," you breathe out to the empty mall. The sun is starting to shine directly in your eyes— which means Mister-man will be here soon. "Always lookin' over his left shoulder. He never looks over his right, me thinks he can't hear outta that ear."
Mister has been coming for a couple months. He first started when the snow started to melt. And he kept coming through the spring when everything was wet and soggy, and he'd traipse mud through the mall like this wasn't your house!
That's how you knew he had been there though, so you waited to see if he'd come back-- and he did.
Mister-Man kept coming, even when the summer got so hot it was almost unbearable. Venturing outside was almost dangerous, but Mister always came.
Just to sit in his chair.
The air is filled with the sounds of birds singing, and insects buzzing in the lazy, summer heat. The mornings aren't too bad anymore, but the afternoon is still sweltering.
The late afternoon's are even worse when the heat finally settles, and everything gets sticky, and feeling all wet even though it's not wet outside! It's hot, but the air feels thick and damp somehow.
Awh, looks like he ain't coming today, Sug.
Good-fucking-riddance.
"He'll show up. If not today… tomorrow…or the next day. Or next week! He always comes, sillies. Gettin' me all nervous for nothin—"
Shhhhhh!!!! He's coming.
Mister-man is coming. You can hear him before he even crawls through the hole in one of the boards. He has to slide the table he sets up every time he comes and goes.
Once he's upright, brushing himself clean of any debris that he might have picked up on his crawl into the mall, he starts to walk.
It's not hard to stay quiet, you know exactly where the spots that creak are, and where things might break and fall apart if you were to put too much weight on them.
It's easier to follow him around as he slinks through the abandoned shopping center than you thought, as long as you stay on his right side. You've been watching and learning, and had a long time to figure him out.
Mister is so cute, walking real slow with his back to the wall, his head on a constant swivel. You wanna call out to him and tell him it's just the three of you in the mall.
He continues to sneak very quietly.
Can't hide from us.
"He sure can't," you giggle, almost silently.
Mister-man pauses, and looks over his left shoulder, as if something caught his attention. He looks all around, head twisting in either and all directions. At one point, he looks right up at where you're standing.
It's like he's looking right at you, like he can see you flitting through the rafters right above him.
Mister-man just shakes his head, as if he was hearing things, and continues onward towards the furniture store.
Fuck, he really can't hear for shit.
"He sure can't."
Mister doesn't make it inside the furniture store today, unfortunately for him.
When Joel wakes up, his head is fucking pounding and— he's upside down. Shit.
Not again.
"What the fuck?" Joel croaks, his hands feel like they weigh a thousand pounds as he tries to lift them from where they're dangling over his head. His shoulders hurt, and his back aches. His ankles feel like they're on fire.
There isn't much he can do but hang here, waiting for his vision to un-blur and for the throbbing in his head to go away.
Probably get gutted like a pig.
Finally, after blinking a million times, Joel can see things clearly.
You- a young woman- with a gun in your hand, another strapped to the outside of your thigh, and a fucking machete strapped across your back.
"What the fuck are you doing!?" Joel shouts, his hands now easily flying to the holster—It's empty. The pack he had been carrying on his back is gone too.
Joel watches as you look at him like he should already know what you're doing: a half smile plastered onto your pretty lips, the crinkle at the corners of your eyes, your head tilted to the side ever so slightly, couching in front of his pack.
"Lookin' through your stuff," you croon to him.
Joel's blood boils. What the fuck are you doing? Who the fuck are you? How did you manage to get him all strung up, hanging from the ceiling?
He says nothing as you stay picking through his backpack, taking out every single thing he has in there. His map, compass, the backup flashlight, the gas-mask— which you're putting on?
Why? There weren't any spores in here— were there?
"This thing is fuckin' cool!" Your voice is muffled, and you stand up straight. Then you hold your hands out at your sides, and spin in a circle.
"Hey!" Joel barks at you, flinching away from the revolving barrel of your pistol with each rotation you make. "Stop swinging that thing around, would ya'!?" Joel shouts as you continue to spin.
You stop suddenly, and stare at him through the big, dark lenses of his gas mask. "You know all about swinging around, don'tchya?" You giggle at him.
Joel literally swings back and forth as you say this, very slowly spinning around as he sways, and the throbbing in his head only makes him more angry.
"Cut me the fuck down, keep what'chya want— I don't got time for all this," Joel grumbles, lifting his head so he can look at the rope tied around his ankles. It's a good knot, and without a knife, Joel isn't going to get down on his own, not without his knife.
He reaches behind him to feel for it on his belt—
"Lookin' for this?" Your still muffled voice questions Joel as his fingers brush across the empty space on his waist where his knife would be.
He tips his head almost all the way back, and then to the side so he can see you— and is greeted by the sight of you, still in the gas mask, and now, holding his knife by the blade with your thumb and index finger. All he can do is sigh, close his eyes and wonder how a trip to sit in his favorite recliner led to this.
"Now, I ain't really wanna hurt'chya— I was hopin' you was gunna say knocked out long enough for me to cut'cya down and—"
Joel doesn't wanna hear anymore. "Just cut me the fuck down— people are gon' come lookin' for me if you—"
You apparently don't wanna hear what Joel has to say anymore either, because you start to talk over him. "—we're just gunna go—"
Joel doesn't care, doesn't want to listen to your muffled voice— he wishes you would take his stupid, fucking gas mask off and talk to him like a normal person. He's gotta be able to barter with you somehow. "—don't let me go. If it's food 'n water ya' want, I can get ya' some—"
The two of you are just talking louder, and louder, until the both of you are shouting over the other, neither one of you actually hearing what the other is saying.
"—let me go!"
"—stay forever!"
The two of you stop and stare at each other in silence for a moment. Joel can't really comprehend what you just said, "Stay forever?"
"Yep!" You exclaim happily.
Did he say that aloud?
"You 'n me, together forever, Mister-man," you sigh dreamily at him.
It's not what you say, it's how you say it— like you really believe what you've just said. Like…it was something you had been thinking about, for a while.
"Huh?" Is all he can say, still slowly swaying and spinning. He has to turn his head almost completely around before he whips it to the other side, he wants to keep his eyes on you at all times. You seem un-fucking-predictable.
"Ain't'chya so excited!?" You squeal, and it makes Joel's head ache.
"Gon' fuckin' strangle you once I get down from here," Joel half grumbles, half chuckles under his breath. He crosses his arms over his chest, watching you rummage around for something in his bag.
"That's why I gotta do this," your muffled voice sounds sad as you pull something out and whip it behind your back, hiding it, and that makes Joel nervous.
"Do what?" Joel tries to see what you pulled out of his backpack.
"Gotta close your eyes," you shrug your shoulders, and rock back and forth on the balls of your feet.
Joel blinks at you, just staring at him through the gas mask. He's not completely unsettled by the sight of you in a gas mask, he's seen women wearing them plenty— it's the fact that you have him completely at your mercy and he can barely see your fucking eyes.
He's so fucking stupid for coming out here alone all the time, Tommy and Ellie both warned him- both told him that something would happen to him out here. He'd hurt his back— or worse. And no one would know where to find him- because this was his secret hideaway. A place to escape the responsibilities of being a dad, a grandpa, and a big brother.
Joel loves Ellie, JJ and Tommy more than he ever thought possible— and loves that he got to be around them everyday— it was just starting to be a lot.
If Joel had the means to move that recliner into his house in Jackson, he would have— but it's too big, too heavy and way too fucking far.
Now look at him, upside down!
"Ya' ain't gunna wanna see it comin'." You give Joel a small warning. "Please just close them," you whine, starting to nervously dance on your tip toes.
"No." Joel growls, arms still crossed over his chest.
"'Kay!" You exclaim, running over to Joel. "Warned ya'!" You pull the brick Joel had put in his pack for emergencies.
"Wait! Wait—"
Cripes-all-mighty, Mister-Man is heavy as hell!
It takes everything you have inside of you to drag him to the mattress store. By the time you get there, your shirt is soaked through with sweat, your hair clings to your forehead and the side of your face. Every muscle aches and feels as if it's being torn from the bone it's clinging to.
Huffing and puffing, you drag him through the sea of mattresses until you get to the staircase that leads into the basement office.
"Sorry, Mister-Man," you grunt and push him down the stairs—
He's fine! You lined the stairs, and the bottom where he landed with mattresses a couple days ago-- after you brought his favorite recliner down here. All by yourself. Did it just for Mister-Man, because you want him to be comfortable! You want him to feel nice, and relaxed, and safe here with you.
Once you have him nice and secure to his chair— you wait.
He hit his head pretty hard when you snared him— you didn't think of that part. Then he had to go and wake up! Like a dumb idiot! He could have just stayed asleep, then you wouldn't have had to hit him again!
Thank goodness for that brick he keeps in his backpack, which, what the fuck is that about? It's a good weapon, but it's heavy, and made his backpack harder to carry than you would like to admit.
You were also lugging that giant of a man around, ya' did good, Sugar.
Yeah, ya' did good, kid.
You wrap your arms around yourself and sigh, "Thanks."
You wanna tell the voices in your head that you love them, but you don't really always love them. Sometimes you hate them, and wish they would shut up, and sometimes they don't talk when you need them to— finicky fuckers! And they almost never see eye to eye, and it's exhausting. So you just say thanks.
Mister-man is so pretty up close. Even more pretty than you could have ever thought or dreamed of. He doesn't look like he's shaved or cleaned up his beard in the last couple days, and his hair was combed back away from his face when he got here today— but now it's a mess, matted to his forehead in drying blood, falling into his eyes.
"Shit," you whisper, taking in the sight of him all beat up—
Sug, you gotta clean him up— make him pretty again.
The sweet voice is right!
Mister-man looks so sad all bloody and a mess.
"I'll be right back," you murmur and press a gentle kiss to his forehead through his blood stained hair, and then double check all of the ropes around his wrists and ankles.
He's secure, time to go get him lookin' nice again.
When you come back, your bag is filled to the brim with supplies from the the multiple stores that still have things inside them. You got him a comb, and a spray bottle that you already filled with clean water. You were able to find some clean clothes that look like they'll fit him.
He's also awake.
"Hi, Mist—"
"Let me go."
"—er-man!" You finish through the interruption. "I'm gunna clean you up now, and then we can have dinner. 'Kay?"
Mister-man stares at you.
"Oh!" You rip the gas mask off and place it on his lap. "Sorry, I wasn't trying to steal it. I promise." You cross your heart with one index finger.
"Let. Me. Go."
You wince with each barked word. "I. Don't. Wanna."
"If I ever get outta here, m'gon' fuckin' kill ya'," he growls.
You frown, pinch your eyebrows together and mock his thick, country twang. "M'gon' fuckin' clean ya' up real good, 'n then me 'n ya' can have fuckin' dinner." You growl back at him.
"Shut th'fuck up, untie me—"
"Why!? So you can kill me?" You shake your head at him, giving him a small smirk. "Not gunna happen, Mister."
His eyes go wider than you've ever seen them, as if he might be nervous. "What th'fuck you gon' do to me then, huh?"
"Clean. You. Up. Then. Have. Dinner. Did I say it too fast the first time, or can you really not hear too good?" You cock your head to one side, and look at him quizzically.
"Th'fuck did ya' just ask me?" Joel feels his chest going tight-- this hasn't happened in fucking years. It can't be happening right now.
"I talk real fast sometimes, and I don't realize it, and so sometimes all my words come out real jumbled to--"
"'Bout my hearin'?" Joel's working overtime to suck the air in, to bring precious oxygen to his brain. His head is still pounding, and now he can't fucking breathe, and he can't even imagine what kind of sick, twisted shit you're going to do to him.
Joel watches your eyes drop to the ground by his feet, and it's almost like you pull your body in on itself somehow, retreating into a place where you're trying to hide from him in plain sight. "I been watchin' you when you come in here... just act like you can't hear all that good outta your right ear," you say in a voice so small Joel can barely hear it.
"Watchin' me?" Joel scoffs.
Who the fuck are you? How long have you been watching him? How come he's never seen you before? Never even seen a trace of another person around here, just the stray raccoon or possum.
Joel's blood boils when you nod your head at him, still unable to look him in the eye. "Ya' should be ashamed. Whatever it is ya' wanna do to me is probably fucked--"
"I'm not ashamed," your voice snaps, and finally you lift your head to meet Joel's gaze. "Not even a little."
"Actin' like it," Joel's voice is snappier, and louder, and it makes you flinch.
"Maybe a little embarrassed--"
"Ashamed, fuckin' embarrassed, same fuckin' thing." Joel rolls his eyes at you.
"Not really," you shake your head from side to side and raise both of your eyebrows at him. "Not at all, actually."
"Would you shut th'fuck up?!"
"Would you shut th'fuck up..." You mock Joel. "I'm tryin' to do somethin' nice for you, and you keep telling me to shut the fuck up!"
"Do somethin' nice f'me?!" If this wasn't almost thirty years after the fucking apocalypse happened, Joel would think he was on some hidden camera show.
"Yeah!" You hold out the supplies you had brought back from wherever the fuck you had run off too while Joel was unconscious.
"Doin' somethin' nice would be lettin' me go, sweetheart." Joel switches his tone- does something he wouldn't normally do in a situation like this.
Your eyes light up. They crinkle in the corners a little, like they did the first time he saw you, but you're not upside down this time. The corners of your lips are trying to curl up, but you're actively trying to stop them.
"Don't call me that, 'less you mean it."
With the comb, water bottle and first-aid kit in hand, you take your place behind him and inspect the wound.
It's a surface wound, but dirty from the brick and still very bloody.
It's a painstaking process, because you don't want to be the cause of his pain anymore. Not ever again if you can help it.
Really, that's up to Mister, but he'll find out on his own soon enough! He just has to play nice, be sweet and kind— be the Mister you want him to be, and he'll be perfectly happy here with you. Life here with you in the mall could be perfect! He just needs to be perfect. He's almost there, he just has to keep his mouth shut.
He's not quiet, not at all. He hoots and hollers at you to stop, to let him go, that he's gonna gut you like a fish if he ever gets free from here.
The way he talks, his voice feels like the deepest note on a piano, or the thickest string being plucked on a guitar. It vibrates in the spaces between your ribs, and forces all the air out of your lungs when he talks.
He's taking your breath away... how romantic.
The sweet and airy voice in your head is right, he is taking your breath away. You wish he would stop saying those mean and terrible things to you-- they're making you hurt inside, where your stomach is.
Guilt. You should just kill him right now--
"Hurt him?"
Mister stops shouting, and raises one eyebrow at you.
Look'it those big brown eyes. Like a baby cow. All wet 'n big, kinda scared lookin'.
Ugh, shoot him right between those beautiful brown eyes, kid. You can do it.
He ain't hurt you yet, Sug...
Because she tied him up--
As she should, she's gotta feel him out a little, make sure he's really not gonna hurt her.
How is he ever going to hurt her if he's tied up?
"Okay, enough!" You almost shout-- there they go! Never seeing eye to eye, making things harder than they needed to be!
"I'll yell all I fuckin' want," Joel does holler, loudly. So loud. He's going to draw attention.
"Do I need to get the brick again?"
Joel stops shouting.
He really can't hold back the pained sounds coming from his throat as you attend to his wound.
You're being so, so gentle!
He's acting like a giant baby.
"M'hurtin' you?" You mumble as you drag the damp cloth along his forehead carefully, cleaning the moderately large gash you left there with the brick. It's swollen, and bruised now... you feel so terrible.
He'll forgive you, Sugar.
Mister-man doesn't say anything, he just flinches away from your touch for the millionth time.
"M'sorry, didn't mean t'hurt you this bad." You slowly start to work the comb through his hair, spraying it down with water when you needed to. You're careful to never pull on his hair too hard, and work the tangles out meticulously so you don't bring him any more discomfort.
"Got'chu some medicine." You reach into your pocket and pull out two white pills.
"I ain't takin' nothin' y'give me, fuckin' crazy bitch." He grumbles.
Mister watches you walk around to the front of him, and kneel between his legs.
"S'just regular," you hold your hand up to his face so he can inspect the pill on his own. "Nothin' strong like they had in the QZ's," it's a gentle explanation as he studies the medicine in your palm. "Can find some for ya' if you wanted me to, m'real good at findin' stuff."
"Find it in your heart t'let me outta here," Joel gives you the sweetest, crookedest smile that makes you stomach feel like it grows ten sizes, and your heart feels like it's racing something else inside of you.
There are sweet wrinkles in the corners of his eyes, and the lines on his forehead deepen, and he has the softest dimple on his left cheek.
Sug, he's so pretty.
Kill. Him. Before. He. Kills. You.
"So pretty," you catch your bottom lip between your teeth, and rest one of your elbows on his knee, propping your head up on the heel of your hand. The pills are still right in front of Joel's face, and his eyes flash between them, and your face.
"Not takin' them" he grumbles, twisting his head away from your hand.
"Suit yourself," you put the pills back into your pocket, dipping your head down to press a soft kiss to his knee. "M'gunna go get us dinner, I'll be back."
Joel stares at the tray of food you set down on the table you dragged over to be directly in front of him.
"Where's the protein?" Joel looks up at you from the plate of crackers with peanut butter, a small bowl of raspberries, two packets of expired pretzels you would get on an airplane, and a full bottle of labelless whiskey.
"S'in the peanut butter," you say through a mouthful of your own cracker.
Begrudgingly, Joel opens his mouth when you hold a cracker up to his lips. "Where's the meat?"
The crackers are dry, and kind of stale somehow? The peanut butter is still nice and creamy, just the way Joel remembered it before the outbreak.
"Where would I find meat?"
Joel pinches his brows together and blinks at you. "Ya' live in the woods, got a gun or two-- fuckin' know how to set a snare--"
You gasp softly, and rest one elbow on the table and point at him with a lazy index finger, "You 'spect me to go out there and kill an innocent lil friend? They ain't ever done nothin' t'me. Why would I go out 'n hurt 'em when I ain't got no reason to?"
Joel continues to blink, trying so hard to keep his eyes on you and not the ropes you have him tied down with so tightly they're starting to dig into the skin on his forearms-- painfully.
"Ya' kiddin', right?" He watches as you place a raspberry directly into the peanut butter on the cracker and hold it out for him.
"Issa good combo, try it." You nod your head at him, urging him to open his mouth.
Joel doesn't want to, doesn't want to give you the satisfaction of knowing he needs you, and is going to keep needing you until you decide to kill him, or set him free.
He opens his mouth though, because Joel hasn't had a raspberry in years and he loves them, and the sight of that plump, juicy berry sitting so comfortably in that pillow of delicious, creamy peanut butter is making his stomach rumble. Loudly.
"Want some?" You hold up the bottle of whiskey, screw off the cap and take a swig. "See, it's safe," you look at him through your lashes, and give him a one-corner-of-your-mouth-smile.
Joel nods his head, because what else was there to do if he was going to be a prisoner here? He tried so hard to free himself of the restraints while you were gone, but you know how to tie a knot, and Joel just ended up giving himself rope burn.
An hour later, Joel feels pretty good, but not good enough to forget the situation he's in, but the booze is making you very chatty, and he might actually be enjoying the conversation.
"'N I get power from the solar things up on the roof, I think."
"Ya' think?" Joel smirks at you, he can't help it.
"I dunno how the solar works," you exclaim, holding one hand towards the ceiling. "It's the sun and black screens," you give the ceiling the middle finger and groan. "Barely works when the sun is out-- I just wanna watch my movies--"
"What kinda movies ya' got?"
He wishes he never asked.
You're sitting between his legs on the floor-- reaching behind you to feed him raspberries, never taking your eyes off the screen.
Joel thing's about biting your fingers off, thinks about taking the tips right off with his front teeth.
What would you do if he did that? Joel is still tied up, and he would just have raspberries and bloodied fingertips in his mouth, and then possibly a crazy, unpredictable, angry woman who would try and kill him.
Joel has seen angry people every day for close to thirty years... he knows what they look like, what they sound and act like--- you don't sound or act angry.
"Love this part," you sigh, leaning back into him, and resting your head on his knee.
Joel looks up to the screen, watching Cinderella transform into her beautiful ball gown.
Joel wishes he could reach out and run his fingers through your hair.
No he fucking doesn't? What the actual fuck? What did you put in the food, or the whiskey to make him feel this way?
Joel clenches his hands to fists on the arms of the recliner, and tenses his jaw-- grinding his teeth in the process.
You continue to drink throughout the movie, and when the credits are rolling-- you stumble to your feet, and then into his lap.
"Get off'a me," Joel gripes as you nuzzle your nose against the side of his face.
"Just wanna cuddle," you murmur, curling yourself up into his chest, yawning sleepily. "F'just a lil bit."
"Get off'a me, ya' fuckin' nut!" Joel shouts, and regretfully, tries to headbutt you.
His cheekbone, the side of his nose and part of his forehead connect with the top of your skull in a dull, aching thud.
You scramble off his lap, and fall to the floor, one hand holding the top of your head where Joel had just whacked you. The right side of his face is throbbing, and he thinks his nose might be bleeding, or he's crying- he doesn't know- he doesn't care. He just wants to go home.
"What the fuck!?" You shout back at him. "Mister, I ain't been mean to you at all, minus the brick- okay? What the hell is your problem!?"
Joel can't help but laugh, it starts off as a chuckle, but quickly matures into full on guffawing. "Y'fuckin' insane, ya' know that?" Joel rumbles through his fit.
Through the tears in his eyes, Joel can see you glaring at him.
Okay, he hurt her, can she kill him now?
Sugar, he ain't mean it... not really... he just needs some time to adjust.
He could have really hurt her, are you serious?
He's just nervous! Give the man a break--
Tired of giving men breaks- tired of letting them get away-
"Both of you, knock it off." It's a stern warning to the voice as you glare at Mister.
He stops laughing and blinks at you. "Huh?" He cocks one eyebrow up high, "Both o' ya?"
His question doesn't register, all you can think about is how disappointed you are in him.
"I was gunna let'chya sleep in the big bed with me," you huff, climbing to your feet. "Ain't gonna do that no more."
"I ain't wanna sleep in the big bed with y'crazy fuckin' ass, anyway!" He screams at you.
"What're ya' bein' so fuckin' mean for? I cleaned ya' up, made ya' pretty again-- fed you dinner 'n shared my drink with you!"
Do not cry! What're you doing!? Don't let him see you cry! Get out of here, right now!
The dark voice is right, the burn in your nose and the sting in your eyes are tell tale signs of tears- and you hate them. Hate the way they make your face wet and sticky, hate how they make your heart hurt, hate how your head feels like it's ten pounds heavier when you get done crying.
He'll come around, Sug. Gotta give him some time. If ya' stay nice-- it'll happen sooner than you think.
"I like bein' nice," you murmur, not taking your eyes off Mister.
"Th'fuck are you talkin' about!?" He exclaims, eyes wide, almost obsidian with rage and confusion.
"G'night, Mister. We'll try again t'morow."
Mister doesn't rest, doesn't relax, doesn't settle down at all.
When you open the door to his room, he's still screaming his head off.
"Hey!" You shout back at him, grabbing his attention. "We got raiders 'round here. We got infected movin' in and outta here all the time-- you know how fuckin' loud you are?"
"Hopefully they all hear 'n come runnin'. I'd love to see you get torn to shred-"
"'Kay, m'real sorry ya' feel that way. Even sorrier that I gotta do this."
Mister doesn't stop fighting you the entire time you shove the bandanna into his mouth. He even bites down on your index and middle finger as you stuff the last corner of fabric between his teeth.
Hit him.
It happens so fast, you don't have time to stop yourself from the back of your hand connecting with his cheek.
"Now, you gunna play that game? I can play, too," you inspect your finger and the deep indentation he left that's already starting to bruise.
The duct tape is hard to rip, and you need to use your teeth to cut a strip to go over his mouth.
Mister is mumbling something around the bandanna, but you can't understand him, and honestly are still mad about your fingers-- they hurt! Really bad!
"Glad I still got that medicine... I'm gunna fuckin' need it!" You dig around in your pockets and look for the two white pills. Your fingers throb while you look, the sensitive skin; tender to the touch as it brushes against the fabric inside your pockets.
Mister glares at you with his almost black eyes.
"I'm sorry!" You find the pills, throw them into your mouth and swallow dry. "I'm sorry for hurtin' you. I do not like doin' it, I mean it." You take a couple steps towards him, and drop to your knees between his legs again.
Mister watches, his whole body still as you rest your head on his knee again.
"Just want ya' 'round. M'sorry," you close your eyes, not wanting him to see them fill with those traitorous tears. "Jus' real lonely out here. Miss havin' someone t'talk with...'n snuggle up to at night."
The fuckin' duct tape makes it impossible for Mister to say anything--which is the worst. You wanted someone to talk with, not at.
"I'll take the tape off in the mornin', and we can try again over breakfast, 'kay?"
Mister doesn't make a single sound for the rest of the night.
Joel is drunk again. Fuck, this is never good.
You're in his lap, knees on either side of his thighs with one arm around his neck, your head resting on his shoulder. There is something about the way your fingers twirl around in his hair at the nape of his neck that feels good. Too good.
"C'mon, get off'a me," Joel groans, but there's no passion in his voice. It's been almost three weeks of just this, and he doesn't hate it. Not when he's drunk.
Honestly, he barely dislikes it when he's sober, but he's better at acting like he doesn't want you on his lap when he hasn't had a drink that night.
How can he not like it just a little bit? You're soft, and warm, and fit so perfectly on his lap it's like you were made to be there.
"Couple more minutes, Mister. Please?" You fucking whimper,
The sound floating through Joel's ear canal sends a shiver down his spine, and directly into his cock. It twitches in his jeans. He's got to start thinking about baseball, and carpentry work, and how he's probably going to die soon.
Nothing works. Joel can feel the heat from your cunt through the thin fabric of your shorts, and his hands have been tied down to this chair every time you're not around. The only time you let him up is to use the bathroom-- and you have a gun while you wait for him the entire time, so he's never horny then!
And, as thankful as Joel is for this- you've never even looked at him like that. You look at him like you're in love with him all the time, but you've never once looked at him like you wanna touch him.
Joel tries to push his hips further into the chair, away from the perfect, searing heat of your middle.
"Where'ya goin?" Your voice purrs in his ear, your fingernails ghost across the skin on his neck and he shivers again, his cock feels it tenfold.
You feel it now, too.
"What're ya'--" you pause to look between your bodies, and then your eyes flash up to his. "That f'me?" You're whispering, and your glassy eyes are wide, and look so flattered.
"Ain't for nobody, stop lookin' at 'em," Joel grumbles, again, not really meaning any of it even though he should mean every single word.
"'Em?" you question him with your big, wet eyes and his cock twitches again.
Joel swallows hard, his eyes falling to your bottom lip clutched between your teeth, and nods. "Him, yeah, whatever you wanna call it-- ain't for you." He sighs softly.
"Why not?" you sink down further into his lap. The thin shorts you have on to wear to bed do nothing to keep your warmth contained. It's almost like Joel can feel what it would be like if you just whipped him out and sat-
He's never drinking with you again. Never again.
"Get off'a me," Joel leans forward gently as you lean into him, the tips of your noses touch softly.
"Gunna bite me if I kiss ya'?"
Joel is a goner, your breath smells sweet like raspberries and whiskey and every single thing about you is warm and soft-- Joel knows that if he wasn't fucking drunk he'd be fighting you tooth and nail, but he cannot right now.
He can't think about anything but what you'd feel like wrapped around him, milking him.
"Take'em out," Joel is the one to lean into the kiss, his lips aren't hesitant, or tentative at all when they meet yours. He is going to try and bite you- and he does, he nips at your bottom lip, but gently. He pulls back with it still bitten, and listens to you moan softly.
The quickness of your fingers isn't your friend, you struggle with his belt for what feels like an eternity as you push back against his kiss, eagerly slipping your tongue into Joel's waiting mouth.
Joel groans low in his throat when you wrap your hands around his girth, and then chuckles at your shocked gasp when you pull away to get a good look at him.
"He ain't gon' bite'chya," Joel teases, leaning forward, searching for your lips again.
"Might split me in half," you moan, presumably at the thought of Joel stretching you open.
Joel can't contain his own moan as you put the image in his head. "Fuuck, sit on him-- lemme feel ya'."
The sound that leaves you makes Joel throb in your hand, "Ya' want me t'put 'em inside?" You whisper, the silky smoothness of your hands on him, stroking him so slowly is making his head spin.
"Jeeesus, yes-- fuckin' c'mon- do it," Joel lets his head fall back against the recliner, and watches as you pull your shorts to the side, and lift yourself to hover over him. "C'mon..." Joel eggs you on in a whisper. "Y'can do it, crazy girl."
"Don't call--" you pause when you notch the head of him at your entrance. "--me crazy."
Joel groans loudly as you sink down and let every wet, soft part of you engulf him. He throbs again when you whimper and whine, eyes clenched shut, your hands grasping at his shoulders as you inch your way down his length.
"Ow, ow, ow," you whine, leaning forward to rest your head on Joel's.
He could headbutt the shit out of you right now, but fuck, the way you're looking at him, with real tears in your eyes, not just from drinking.
"Hey, ya' doin' real good, sweetheart, keep goin'-- nice 'n slow," Joel encourages you, because he doesn't want it to stop either. "Jus' like that, crazy girl."
God damn, is crazy pussy always this good? He wouldn't fucking know, he wouldn't ever get involved with you if he knew you back in Jackson- but out here, after almost three weeks with you... it's hard to deny the physical needs of a man. And you're so fucking soft and wet.
The two of you groan in unison when you fully seated. The velvet walls of your pussy are fluttering, and clenching around him as you adjust to his length.
"You're so big," you hum, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips. "Didn't think ya'd wanna do this," you whisper into his mouth. "Wasn't gon' take it from ya-- don't like that."
"Take what'chya need from me, whenever ya want it, shit," Joel tries to buck his hips up into yours to give you what you want but you whine in protest.
"Still hurts."
Joel settles his hips and leans into the best he can being tied down, his fingers grip the armrests of the chair tightly, groping it like he would be groping you if he could.
"Untie me," he murmurs while grinding up against you, not pulling out of you at all, just letting you feel him, letting you open up around him so it'll start to feel good.
"No," you nip at his bottom lip now, but you suck it into your mouth and tease him with your tongue as your walls start to rhythmically clench around him.
"Fuck, ya' doin' that on -ur-ose?" Joel groans with his bottom lip still being lapped at, The feeling of your tight, wet sucking him in deeper somehow- like it's fucking bottomless almost makes him come right then.
You pull back, his lip slips from between your with a wet pop "Mhm, ya' like it?" You clench harder around him and then release, and then do that over, and over again.
"Fuckin' untie me, wanna touch you- gotta feel how soft ya' are all over, c'mon," he's begging, he needs to feel the swell of your ass in his palm, or one of your tits spilling between his fingers as he grips you.
"No, you'll just try 'n leave me-"
"No, no, no-- I'll stay 'n... uh.. I'll... um- uh--oh, I'll play nice wit'chya" Joel racks his brain with anything that he could say that would possibly give him a chance at being able to really touch you.
"Lyin' t'me," you moan, and Joel throbs inside of you.
"Not lyin'-"
You pull back from his face at an alarming rate, and you scan his face slowly, as if you were drinking in every feature, savoring the flavor-- Joel watches you swallow hard and imagines that it's his load you just took down--
"Untie me, let me touch ya' a lil bit," Joel whispers, keeping his eyes locked on to yours. "Make ya' feel real good, promise." Joel licks his lips as he watches you struggle internally with the decision. "C'mon... gotta feel how soft ya' are, crazy girl. Just one hand."
"Fine."
You stay seated in his lap, his cock still throbbing inside of you as you work on the knot that will free his right hand. He's trembling in the anticipation of it all.
As soon as the pressure is gone off his wrist, Joel reels his arm back as far as he can, and sends it flying forward with as much force as he can muster after not eating meat for almost an entire month.
You scream as his fist connects with your right eye, and go flying to the floor.
Joel might be completely sober right now, and he knows he needs to move fast before you get up and probably shoot him for lying to you, and then punching you.
Yep. Shoot him. Shoot him right between his perfect, brow, baby-cow eyes. End it.
The dark voice in your head is right, but it's almost impossible to think about anything else but the pain shooting into your brain from your right eye socket.
"You motherfucker," you sob. The pain is electrifying- and you can't even see out of your right eye anymore!
That was your least favorite eye!
Kill. Him.
When you sit up, Joel is working on the knot around his left wrist.
You stumble to your feet, holding your hand over your eye trying to keep the actual ball in, in case it falls out, and walk over to the table with his book bag on it. You rummage around until your fingers wrap around the item you're looking for.
When Joel sees what you're carrying, not even attempting to hide it behind your back, he quickens his efforts on the knot.
Your left hand isn't your dominant one, but your right is busy keeping your eyeball in your head because it most surely got knocked loose or something.
You have to whack Joel twice before he goes unconcious.
"S'what ya' get for almost takin' my eye out!"
While he's still asleep, you take this opportunity to cut the jeans he's wearing off of him. You carefully unbutton the green and red flannel he was wearing and slip that off of him fully intact.
Once he's fully secure, with a new restraint around his chest to keep him fully pinned down to the chair, and the bandanna and tape back around his mouth-- you shut all the lights off, every single one, and leave him down there to think about what he did.
He's gonna learn to play nice, and if he wants to play rough first... so can you.
The air is thick with tension and stench of his sweat and fear.
The big-guy should be kind of scared- you didn't want it to come to this, but he just cannot participate nicely!
You circle your Mister-man slowly, drinking in every detail of him. His broad chest heaves with ragged breaths, muscles taut and straining as he fights against the restraints for the thousandth time.
No matter how hard he struggles, he cannot break free. Oh boy. Mister-man has some big feelings about it, and he's trying to let you know.
He is struggling— like, so fucking hard, against his bonds that tether him to the chair, that are cutting deep into the skin on his wrists. It's unfortunate, but he keeps wriggling around! If he just stopped, it'd all be fine!
You lean in close, pointing to your right eye, which is still black and blue, but thankfully not as swollen anymore, and frown at him. "This hurt!" You exclaim. "It hurt so bad, and you said you were gunna play nice. Why'd ya' lie t'me?"
His eyes are blown wide with fury and desperation. But he cannot respond, not really, his voice is saying things, but it's muffled by the duct tape stretched tight across his mouth.
He's still clad in only boxer shorts, a thin gray t-shirt, and socks, he looks vulnerable and exposed.
It really shouldn't be so hot-- but it is. You can't stop thinking about what he said the other night.
"Take what'cya want from me, sweetheart. Whenever you want it."
You wonder if he really meant that, because he punched you in the face right after.
But... he got excited! He wanted it, Mister-man kissed you first.
Oh Sug, he's down bad.
Please kill him. Shoot him right now, then you can just move to a different part of the mall. It's very simple.
He's really mad; which makes no sense! He punched you right in the eye! What is he mad for!?
"I thought after three weeks you'd be begging me to take you upstairs, Mister," you purr seductively, taking a step behind him, out of his line of sight. "Instead you hit me!?" You give Joel a good thwack against the side of his head with your open hand.
Not enough to really hurt him— that's coming soon— but enough to let him know to cut the shit. It's getting old, and now you want a fun, willing participant to play with you… and not someone who is going to act like they don't like… all this.
The perfect basement office of an old mattress store in an abandoned mall about a two hour hike outside of what used to be Jackson, Wyoming?
There's no spores, there's no mildew or stink! It's clean, you make sure to keep everything so clean for him.
Despite his insessant pestering about meat for some reason, he's well fed! He gets to drink whenever he wants!
Why is he so upset!?
Joel grumbles something from behind the duct tape and it's honestly lost of deaf ears because you don't care for what he has to say right now, it's never nice or sweet. It's always mean— that's why he's got the duct tape on.
Soon.
Soon the big-dumb-idiot will be singing your name, happily, and without restraints.
He's just gotta wear something else first.
You slip the shock collar around his thick neck while you're still behind him.
He doesn't like it, at all. He thrashes and writhes, and makes a desperate, pleading groan from behind deep in his throat.
"Well, you wanna act like all them other dogs out there, you're gon' get treated like one," you press a kiss to the top of his skull, and pull back before he can rear his head forward and smash it against your nose.
He's going to try-- he always does.
Slowly, you wind your way around him, trailing a finger along his sweat-slick forehead and crawl into his lap. He struggles at first, until he sees the remote in your hand.
"Gonna zap all the bad outta you… make you perfect for me." You sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Have an idea...for how you can hug me-- and not hit me."
Joel mumbles something else, muffled through the duct tape. It doesn't really matter what he's saying, all that matters is how warm he is. How he makes you feel so safe and comfortable.
It's easy now, with the threat of being zapped, to rest your forehead against his, and nuzzle the tips of your noses together.
"You gunna be good for me, Mister-man?" It's a purr as you press a kiss to the duct tape covering his mouth. "Or am I gunna have to train you how to be good?"
omg this might be the longest tag list i've ever done let me know if you want me to take you off, add you, if I forgot you-- I'm SORRY!!!
TAG LIST: @pedrospookie @gothcsz @joelmillerisapunk @sp00kymulderr @paleidiot @goodvampykitten @rosebuds-and-moonlight @diabaroxa @zhazy-blog2 @almostempty @xdaddysprincessxx @tobethlehem @lilac-boo @xkyxkyxxlylcylulucuflfluclu @rav3n-pascal22
#kidnapped!joel miller#joel miller x reader#crazy!reader#dead dove fic#smut and violence#a little fluff#joel's dirty fucking mouth#joel miller tlou#Jackson!Joel#pedro pascal characters#pedrostories#eventual smut#eventual angst
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I don't think I have told this whole story before.
stuff about my house, an old abusive relationship, early witchling behavior, and growth...
So, my ex-husband and I bought this house in January of 2001. As soon as I walked into the house I knew it was *my* house, this was way before I started studying witchcraft.
The relationship was emotionally abusive from the beginning but I had no skills or understanding of how to deal with conflict and thought if I just did what he asked it would be alright, but it was never enough. I was always fucking up by doing something I wanted to do that my ex did not want me to do. He's say things like "you are so smart that you can talk yourself into anything and that's why you keep getting confused. So if you just do what I want you won't have problems." or something like that. Like, that just gives you a base level of how twisted my brain was. (there's a digital version of the zine I wrote about it here)
The house had strange spots in it that felt weird and our incongruity seemed to feed it. One of our housemates reported chairs sliding across the floor and things going missing. At one point I moved out then moved back in while we were trying to go to counseling and work things through. We thought a change would be good and we moved into that room the housemate had issues with, stayed 3 nights and revealed to each other that we felt weird and could not sleep, so we moved to a different room.
Counseling didn't work and I eventually found to courage to leave the winter of 05-06, but we still owned a business together and a lot of my things were still in the house. The person he dated after me (we became friends after she experiences some of the same abuse) saw visions of me in the house and I was very angry.
In 2005, before I left and i was sleeping on a mat on the floor of the basement, I started studying witchcraft. Got myself some Cunningham books and felt really silly trying to do rituals and hiding it. In the divorce I lost the business but got the house with idea that I would sell it. I cleaned the whole thing, painted everything, put in new fixtures. Took a punk house and made it into something more friendly. By the time I was done it was the spring of 2007. The house went on the market just as the markets were crashing. Someone was on the hook to buy it and kept it off the market for the full 30 days and by that time the house had lost a lot of value.
Anyway! We decided to move into it it with some friends in October 0f 2007. One of the friends was Wiccan and I was sort of interested in it and went to a few open rituals with her. She was taking a year and a day class and asked her teachers to help cleanse the house before we moved in. I had already stashed a bunch of witchy stuff i bought in the closet that would be my room. We opened all the windows, doors, drawers, and what not. We started at our fireplace and lit incense, flicked consecrated salt water with springs of rosemary and sage from the garden, and chanted. One of the teachers gestured towards the closet I had my newly acquired witchy shit in and asked what was in there. I said nothing and that room wasn't the problem, the room next to it where the chairs had moved was, so the focused on that. I'm still not sure why I didn't explain.
Anyway, at that point our house became the Spiral House and we have not had any of the old garbage that I'm sure was being fed by a shitting relationship. After that I built my own magical system and my own wards that work with the land and the house. I've made a secure home and I do love my house and my neighborhood.
Both houses next to us have been broken in to, but ours has not. I still think it is funny when some people stop at the threshold and I have to invite them in like vampires. lol.
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Guys it has been a week and it's only Wednesday. Somehow. Anyway, I am taking the easy way out here by posting Jessica Nigri. Cosplayers tend to be easy mode cause I don't have to look very hard or very long for pictures. There are a lot and they tend to be good. I am posting her cause she did a Squirrel Girl cosplay, a thing I did not know I needed but apparently I did. I have a long and storied history with Squirrel Girl in that once upon a time in my days as a youth roleplaying online in X-Men based Roleplay servers my password was Squirrel or SquirrelLover or Squirrelllll depending on the server. I did not set these, other people set them for me when they created my login because I had an ongoing joke about how Squirrel Girl was the new character find of the 90's and actually history's most powerful superhero. This is because at this point, Squirrel Girl had exactly one appearance, where she teamed up with Spider-man and kicked the shit out of Doctor Doom. It just was a comedy bit for me because there was no world where Squirrel Girl was every coming back because she was a one off character that was kind of silly and I love the silly side of comics but a lot of people, especially back then, hated it. Comics were serious business. Get this girl with the power to talk to squirrels who kind of looks like a squirrel out of my comics about serious stuff like a teenage boy getting bitten by a radioactive spider so he turns into an asshole which kind of gets his uncle killed and then he feels so guilty he spends the rest of his life fighting Nuclear Physicists who have the name Octavius and somehow end up with mechanical arms so they are like an Octopus and Billionaires who put on Halloween masks and create weapons that are all themed to be kind of halloween adjacent (this is what I would do if I were a billionaire but I'd be a good guy thank you very much) or you know, multiple people who just literally take an animal name and then wear suits to look like said animal. Serious business. Anyway, all that said, the joke got a lot less funny when eventually Marvel started making the same joke. And suddenly Squirrel Girl was the star of a comic about joke Avengers. Then she was just an Avenger. Then she got her own comic and somehow became the favorite comic book character of multiple children I knew in the mid 10's. Crazy. But I have always had that connection. I have not yet faced her in Marvel Rivals, a game I am awful at, I was much, much better at RPing the soap opera stuff in X-men than I am at using Magneto to I guess shoot bolts of magnetism at people. But I like the cosplay here either way. I think she's make a really hot Magneto now that I think about it. Maybe a good Scarlet Witch too but I want every cosplayer to do a comics accurate Scarlet Witch so don't trust me there. Today I want to fuck Jessica Nigri.
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Honestly, getting real tired carrying and supporting other folks around here when most of them aren't returning the favor...
#i'm two seconds away from nuking everything in my queue and drafts out of spite#but i don't feel good about that bc there's innocent collateral#this is tumblr‚ the place you're supposed to fucking share the stuff that your friend's and other people are making#and i get it‚ it's not possible to like and reblog everything here‚ i understand that and i'm not expecting that#it just sucks constantly feeling like no one gives a shit about the stuff you're proud of and put effort into‚ y'know?#there's an entire subsection of this fandom that basically ignores any vper that isn't running modded on pc#which is like half the fucking fandom and i definitely pissed some of those people off just for choosing who i associate with#i've been writing in this fandom for three years now and i still don't feel like i have any fucking writing friends#or a good place to get technical support#the writing associates i do have either don't read anything i write or when they do won't comment for some inexplicable reason#(if you're an author on ao3 you know‚ first hand‚ damn well how much comments mean to authors‚ so what's the deal?)#(if you actually don't like it‚ it's fine‚ don't even touch the kudos button‚ no one has to know you were there)#i'm traumatized from my previous discord experiences and am very reluctant to let people into my circle without vetting them first#even tumblr communities is a struggle for me because it still feels a like a popularity/social influence contest#and i know i'm fucking slow#sue me for having a life outside of the internet and wanting to be mindful and thoughtfully engaged with other people's artwork#i talk to people in the tags#i've been leaving comments on every fic i read now#i'm not expecting people to bend over backwards for me#but fostering community and friendships requires mutual exchange#and it's shitty feeling like you're generosity is constantly being fucking wasted#i'm trying to keep it fun around here but a lot aren't helping with that and this isn't a job for one person#sorry not sorry for the rant but i've been feeling very salty about this as of late#i know the holidays can be stressful and the fandom in general has been slowly shrinking which has probably exacerbated these issues#a lot of folks have moved on#but these issues have always been here and they aren't magically going to go away unless people work on them#i'm not expecting anything i make to break the bank at this point but when your friends won't even put your crappy art on the fridge anymor#like why are we here?#i also don't understand the people who are following me but never interact with anything i make???#rambling into the void
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admittedly we do not know anything abt most of the new characters yet and assuming she's not in LoL that includes Maddie but it is... a lil odd to see infantilization of her at this stage.
I get she seems like a ray of sunshine character so far but "girl has no idea what martial law means 💔" kind of jokes are making me think abt how if maddie IS just a naive enforcer thinking she's doing good for piltover, she'd still... know what martial law and fascism etc entail. She'd just think those things are Good and Just!
Idk not to take jokes too seriously but there's something interesting abt what makes a character complicit in horrors esp when they seem so nice, and I feel like that's kinda being brushed aside w the interpretations that she is just an oblivious kid... esp since those jokes are about the scene where she's supporting Cait's dictatorship promotion which is after she's literally been in Zaun with her gassing people lmao.
She knows what's going on. Her framing of it is just extremely biased. Maybe a bit naive of her if so, but not stupid yknow.
#Arcane tag#I have complicated thoughts on the whole 'any portrayal of a fictional cop is copaganda#and people who like fictional cops are irl police brutality sympathizers' stuff this site does#bc i think people can like a character or a show And be cognizant of how it differs from the real world#AND a show as politically charged as arcane lends itself to some interesting takes#where you can see how a person might also think about irl situations based on what they fall for in the show#Ie people can love maddie or Cait or any other character who does awful shit#without that appreciation of them being an excusal of their actions#(Like. I love jinx and ambessa lmao)#And sometimes defenses of a character are necessary when fandom is disproportionately hard#on that character and the people who like them#It's just also like... you don't need to excuse or explain away why a character is Good actually#They can be sympathetic! Definitely! But they're still committing atrocities and that's fine#They're fictional and it's better to embrace what's being put down imo#Doesn't mean you support any of that irl so you don't need to explain why it's actually#not bad behavior you can just go 'yeah my blorbo fucks up a lot'#bc otherwise if ur looking at a character doing awful things and going 'But#they had no idea what they were doing 🥺' it's... odd to me!#Maybe some of them don't#Like powder didn't mean to blow up her loved ones#But maddie means to help ensure peace however it's deemed necessary#Maybe she doesn't see zaunites as people and therefore justifies it#But.... she knows what she's signing up for even if her framing is off#At least that's how it comes off to me. She's barely spoken so I could be off base ig
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A himbo, as promised
This look is what happens when you try to be Y2K but youve only ever seen Earth in vintage tourism brochures
#i thought that one CAS challenge with harajuku fashion was hard...#girl i do not understand y2k at ALL i am looking at all these refs trying to connect the dots and not finding a single fucking dot#some of its grunge. some of its techwear. some of its just random shit#HOW are people categorizing this stuff how does it all fit together i dont understand...#so anyway all that to say i leaned hard on some staples and then felt self conscious and tacked accessories on#which i KNOW makes it further from the Look but it covers up the insecurity 👍#i might go back and re-style him one day bc he looked good in a LOT of stuff#and id love to explore what i mightve put him in if not doing a challenge.#hes lovely!#and his eyes are grey i PROMISE hes just got those swag shades on so you cant really tell :/#simoleon#my kiddos
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.
#long talk in tags incoming i guess#i don't understand why people keep following me when everything i do is complaining lately#and not about dnp per se. but about how the work is done and how their team *coughs* martyn *coughs* is handling stuff#i'm just looking at all this mess and i can't agree with basically anything#everything goes against my beliefs when it comes to work organisation. customer focus and etc.#and i'm trying SO hard to mildly help for free. and i'm just getting ignored. but that's like.. basic fixing and shit#any decent company would do it and say thank you for noticing and letting us know#but not irl merch lmao#and it all feels and looks like a massive joke#and i'm so so tired to basically pay for existence of this mess#i'm rethinking a lot of tour related decisions i made. and i know the reason i made them was about travelling more than the show itself#so i don't completely regret it#i'm just so tired of being spat in the face (figuratively speaking) over and over again#and tired of no one taking their job seriously ffs#neither martyn nor dnp nor their fucking editors#and i'm doing all that not for attention or whatever. but because I really care for the words to be correct and for the fucking text..#.. to be in the middle. like idc about the credit or WHO i need to ask for it to be fixed. i just want it to be fixed#so it looks good and how it should look#like. it's not that hard to put a little care into the things you do and getting paid for#I don't understand how it became so normalized. how being a bad manager is okay if you work with a fanbase and you're a 'small company'#a small company who has more than enough money to hire people to check things btw. if only anyone cared#i'm just so so tired of caring. because apparently it's not something everyone else does.#and i can let it slide when it comes to dnp. they are not being literally hired to do it. but others..... yeah#today was a moment when i thought 'that's a perfect opportunity to leave. enough.'#but the tour is in 1.5 months and i have tickets so i can't leave lmao#what kind of joke that is? oh and i know i'm fully responsible for this mild breakdown#personal
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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Ok the way some of y'all talk about Chappell Roan on here is so transparently just like, people having some internalized fucking HATRED for lesbians
#there's a post pitting her against charlie xcx and mocking ms. roan's fans as being like immature or whatever#like A. liking an artist shouldn't be a personality point and also no group is a monolith#B. all the notes were like#mocking an open lesbian and calling her cringe#saying she's not doing drag bc she's just a cis woman with makeup#just idk man#really reductionist stuff#not wording this well but#like you dont have to like her stuff#this isn't a stan post and she is a celebrity#i do not know her she's not my friend and she's not some glowing beacon of perfection meant to lead the queer movement or some shit#bc that's not how people work#yes not even celebrities#gasp#but people being like she's so disney she's so tame unlike CHARLIE who has sex and does drugs#idk man#also ms. roan has like#songs about fucking women/wanting to fuck women like that is very much a thing she has in her songs#her songs being poppy and not to everyone's tastes does not make them tame or devoid of sexuality et al.#and like hearing a song by a lesbian talking about wanting to fuck women and then hearing it played by people just casually#smth about that feels good idk#also being like 'chappell roan got the gay people who think steven universe is a war crime and charlie xcx got all the cool gays who do dru#is uh#well it's just a stupid and dumb statement is the thing#also the comments about drag are showing such a reductionist baby view of drag anyway!#whatever#chappell roan#idk it feels like lesbians are given this huge hurdle to step over in terms of not being hated on lmao#and i can't put it into words but the positioning of charlie xcx against her in this context feels...bad#wait also everyone I know likes both of them lol
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Im going to fucking throw up
#i hate posting about how im insecure abt my drawings because that just makes people rb them out of pity thats annoying as shit dont do that#but then i try for hours to draw something and its honestly not important to me but by the end im pretty pround#so i post it knowing no ones gonna give a shit#and yeah pretty much thats what happens#and i feel like shit bc no one owes me attention ffs#and i know it isnt anything special and i should have drawn something actually interesting instead of another portrait#and i complain to my mother and shes like#'well this is something a child would have drawn it isnt good'#and im like oooh i should kms got it#like obviously im the one who craves validation without putting any effort into making it actually cool#so this is like no one's fault and im self aware of it and it drives me INSANE#and i need to vent this but it will make someone go pity rb all of my stuff and it's gonna feel like shit bc i hate begging for notes#like you know if someone wasnt going to reblog why beg them to. thats not them actually liking the art thats bullshit guilt tripping#i dont even need exposure i dont sell any drawings exposure is useless to me i dont even know what i want#i just want to make something that people like what the fuck
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i can now say the longest fic ive ever read was 670k words long. im winning the loser off
#lazer rambles#oh my god dude#FUCK that shit was so good. how do people just put this stuff on the internet for free
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sorry i just. need to rant for a second
#cause dude the whole joost situation is SO fucking upsetting#he's mentioned over and over again how overwhelming this whole overnight success thing has been for him and to respect his boundaries#and instead of yk respecting his wishes “fans” go and make things worse by constantly overstepping and being creepy and weird like hello???#like why can't we all just be normal and take a step back and enjoy things#these people are gonna end up driving him off the internet and i wouldn't blame him one bit#and the worst part is the people who should get the memo obviously don't (or refuse to) bc this isn't an isolated instance#like its been going on for a while now#idk man i just think about how hard it must be for him rn#one of the things that turned me into a joost fan (besides his music) was his personality#like i obviously dont know him on a personal basis#but from the little bits ive seen he comes across as a really genuine and sweet and kind dude#super thoughtful as well. like i just love the way he thinks and his take on things#like i remember watching his eurovision interviews and just thinking oh man this dude's a ray of sunshine LMFAO#also the literal definition of resilience like dude's been through so much stuff and hes always managed to come out on top despite of it#and thats something i really admire about him too. like the way he put it as not letting your traumas be just that#but also something that can drive you forward#but yeah dude's had more than enough like he deserves to be happy and have some peace and ppl keep ruining it for him and it makes me upset#like i actually slept like shit last night and woke up feeling terrible and i wonder if what went down yesterday w the whole live thing#has anything to do with it lmfao#and you may be like ok well youre taking it too personally and letting it affect you#and yeah maybe youre right LOL but i cant help it i care about the guy and i want him to be okay#he seems to have a really good support system though so i hope things blow over soon and he can finally have some peace#anyway. rant over! 💋#raquel speaks
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how do you feel about the new tf2 leaks?
Oh it big sucks!
listen, this leak honestly makes me so mad im not even joking. not because of like, leaks like this cause so much trouble for the developers who own them (in how to combat it), or for the source licencees who are affected by the leak, but WHO it affects in this community.
say you've been working a beta recreation of 2Fort from Trailer 2 (since it's the version with the most footage), you've been working on it in your spare time for the past... 6 years lets say. you know the ins and outs of this map, you've watched footage and studied screenshots from around August 2006, and you've made an intense list of all the eras of 2Fort to ensure you have a timeline of eras so you know which to avoid and such.
so your beta 2Fort recreation is as accurate it can be from all the public media you could find from it. you've even gotten the sewers to be as low as they were in the beta combined with the higher water. there's some things left to your interpretation of the map, since the sewers have never been shown for example, and you push it out for people to play around on. this was basically your hobby for the past 6 years, and it meant so much to you to be able to create something with a love you can't put to words.
suddenly. the worst thing imaginable. a month after you post it? an entire developer repo leaks. and lets pretend it's got that version of 2Fort intact. that's a serious gut punch BUT, then you get comments from folks like "oh the actual 2fort leaked" "this is obsolete now" "oh well a recreation couldn't ever top a leak". it's demoralizing. it breaks their spirit for something they worked so hard on. the one thing you loved working on? well seemingly it doesn't matter now to the community you painstakingly made it for.
that's what hurts for me, is the people who've created content based off of things from TF2 (like the Spellcasters Witch), whom have made it from scratch, added their own personal touches like different outfits and hairstyles, to the ability to allow the user to recolour every part of that outfit. then a leak comes along and it seems everyone's ferally knashing their teeth at this leak. no leak can ever come close to the kind of love community members put into stuff.
that's why i hate this leak. and even with the 60 gigabytes of stuff that's leaked? people are still like "oh well this doesn't have everything 🙄". like sorry 60GB wasn't enough for you?
i hope we never see a TF2 leak again. this shit sucks and i hate the community around it.
#ask#catsmocha#i dont care whats in it. i dont care what maps are found. it fucking sucks#id have to imagine that any valve dev who had a slight want in working on TF2 again have quickly changed their mind from this#what do i know. im just some guy#but the whole ''cut content community'' for tf2 sucks#theyve been sitting on their hands waiting for the repo to leak. and theyre not even satisfied#now they want the SFM repo! which i bet doesnt exist. or wont exist now that this's happened#good job you idiots!#youll never see a TF2 leak after this point ill tell you that much. and good!!!! fuck 'em!!!#none of them deserve this stuff#sorry im just really mad at how people treat scrapped content for this game#theres so much stuff PUBLICLY AVAILABLE TO YOU that you can research through and find new stuff#but no 🙄💅 gotta get my hands on that repo!!! cant waste my time looking elsewhere#it makes me so mad#legit my heart goes out to the content creators who made models and maps before this leak#you put so much work into your craft. im sorry its being ignored for this shit#thank you for the ask honestly. i feel like if i didnt have an ask like this i wouldve explo💥💥💥💥💥
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btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.
#i know there are compromises out there#and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered#and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine#but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit.#i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough#i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them.#but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu''#it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps????#it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me#throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks#when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding#it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer#''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped.#the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone#the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me#and they've got their own shit to deal with#on that note#i was discussing stuff with my mom#and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents#and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????''#oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting#or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting#maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace#maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted#maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc#and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me#how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way#how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells#broadcasting my misery#vent
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