#FUCK YEAH PALEONTOLOGY

[shitty-eyepocalypse-domains]

corruption domain that's just a carboniferous forest

You!!! You get it!!! Big bug forest!!! I love ancient times!!! But also

The air is sweltering, each breath filling your mouth with a moist heat and settling on your tongue with the foul stench of decay. There is a buzzing in the air, fat flies fed on a steady diet of flesh, no doubt. You stumble, boggy land sucking at your boots and towering trees blocking your path wherever you turn. The buzzing grows louder. You steady yourself against a tree, a putrid mix of moss and mud and something viscous pulsing against your fingers. The buzzing, you realise, isn't a multiple. Isn't a group. It's singular. And it's growing ever closer.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[aliosne]

Aneki and I went to a special solstice tour of the stonehenge exhibit currently up at the museum and I got read for filth for my “im going to get a good grade in Museum Tour” behaviour

[kings-highway]

absolutely obsessed with the fact that tsukki works in a museum + is still in university post timeskip because it highly indicates that he absolutely will end up living a double life. personally I am of the persuasian that tsukki goes on to get a masters / eventual doctorate in history (and/or an adjacent field, like archeology, paleontology, anthropology, you get the vibes)

but like I imagine the fucking Sendai Frogs (or any of his volleyball friends) dont exactly enjoy chatting about 9th century kings or 12th century architecture so it just never comes up. except for when tsukki tells them he's going to be missing practice because he's flying to China to a few small villages with local churches and temples to study old medical records and put together a timeline of the opiod wars in less documented places and the rest of the Frogs are just like !!!!!!!!!!! you're doing what now????? and he's just like yeah its a government grant :/ but it'll be nice to get published in this journal and then all of his teammates go home and google him and find the half dozen articles he's published that high school students are citing in their research papers

but then when he's working in the archives and reading through old newspapers a coworker of his comes down and is like "hey kei would you be able to fill in for a docent that called in sick tomorrow? we just need someone to lead a few tours" and tsukki is like "sorry, I booked that time off. the d2 volleyball league starts tomorrow." and the coworker is just like. what?

[the-dragon-girl-27]

Remember those other 3 times I turned sekai characters into dinos (L/N MMJ VBS) I'm back with more of that crap i know Wanshow fans just looove their AUs so maybe this will appeal to a whole 3 people instead of 2 people this time

explanation for my picks below the cut

Tsukasa is a Styracosaurus because I made Saki a Stellosaurus which is another ceratopsian and also its frill is like vaguely star shaped kinda sorta not really

I don't have much to say about him so can i just mention how awful that Stellasaurus drawing is.

Yeah only recently did i start figuring out how the fuck to draw decent ceratopsians I am so sorry (the struggle is real i almost accidentally gave tsukasa 2 left feet here i swear i know what i'm doing)

I should redo that Saki at some point, girl deserves so much better than that wonkey crap. speaking of ceratopsians i opted out of giving him protofeathers unlike Saki idk they just didn't look right on him you can kinda go either way with most ceratopsians so i just do it when the vibe fits and don't when the vibe doesn't fit

Rui is a Troodon because Troodons are often associated with intelligence because they have the biggest brain to skull ratio of any dino, there's kinda no real way to know how intelligent dinos were but troodon just has the reputation of the smart dinosaur and people often depict them using tools like how crows do and that's like kinda like how rui does robot stuff, he also just fits the raptor shape sorta i feel like raptors have that sorta look to them that is like a similar vibe to the one Rui has, even tho Rui is the tallest character in sekai I feel like he's a mid sized dinosaur, does that make sense? no, but it does to me and i make the rules he's also 100% a feathered dino so it fits

Speaking of Troodon all you 2 paleo nerds reading this are getting war flashbacks from the name Troodon because Troodon itself has a interesting history of being a "wastebasket taxon" which is nerd talk for "scientists just threw a bunch of vaguely similar animals into this one category and didn't consider that maybe this was like 5 different animals and what would be the long term consequences of doing that" yes this is a thing that has happened enough times that there is a word for it

that shit still as of now isn't sorted out I don't think, I at least based my Troodon off the big one from Alaska that literally does not have a fucking name and is just like "the Alaska Troodon". I feel like the size fits and imma be real its the Troodon you see everywhere in media these days because its big and cool and it lived with Pachyrhinosaurus and Nanuqsaurus and also people like it cuz drawing dinosaurs in the snow is fucking awesome (boom i just tricked you into learning paleontology history)

Emu is an Archeopteryx because Emu is supposed to be like a phoenix and Archeopteryx could probably fly or glide or smth it's general considered like "the first bird" so like yeah (now that i think about it i could've made her pyroraptor cuz of the name but also she doesn't fit the vibes of a raptor at all i guess pyroraptor has the whole fire bird thing from its name) Emu would also be a small feathered dinosaur for sure so it fits in that sense too.

Nene is a Stegosaurus because the plates kinda look like her hair thing and her outfit in general and i feel like nene would have those tail spikes for some reason idk it just fits her energy, she'd def be a herbivore as well i feel. Also i personally just associate stegosaurus with the color green personally idk why (at first i was thinking she would be iguanodon because that's another dinosaur that's green in my head but she has like nothing in common with iguanodon lmao)

I guess nenerobo would be an Ankylosaurus than because that would like probably be the logical robot version of a stegosaurus maybe idk would nenerobo exist in this universe, you decide idk

i guess next one is that last one unless i wanna redo the vocaloids in this style or redraw saki at some point or whatever see you whenever that happens in however long it takes

[saviorellie]

roommate!ellie headcannons.

pairing : ellie williams x reader

pov : second person , she/her pronouns

warnings : mention of porn i guess? college!ellie!! she’s got a big fat crush on you

notes : PLEASEEE send me headcannon and blurb requests for ellie (AND ABBY)!!

roommate!ellie that you met in a facebook group (she promptly deleted facebook as soon as you met)

roommate!ellie who refuses. and i mean re fuses. to do laundry.

she hates it oh my god she hates it. she does dishes, you do laundry. that is the agreement!

roommate!ellie who does not care what the place looks like, please take all creative control. she’ll love it regardless

she WILL kick ice under the fridge no matter how many times you tell her not to

roommate!ellie who would rather die than forget to water your plants. because she knows you love them and she KNOWS you will forget

she’s so “dad who says he doesn’t want a cat but loves that cat more than himself”

(the cat’s name is star. i will not elaborate.) (savage starlight.)

roommate!ellie who introduced you to fortnite and is mad because you’re better than her

roommate!ellie whose love language is physical touch

she will Die if your legs aren’t in her lap while watching a movie. she will sit on the counter beside the stove if you’re cooking.

roommate!ellie is a LOOOOSERRRRR

i’m talking sweating when you’re wearing pajama shorts, shaking when you play with her hair, blushing like all the fucking time.

she needs you bad.

roommate!ellie who turns into a handyman any time something breaks (she will break it more than it was already broken)

she was laying on the kitchen floor tiles when she accidentally broke the ac

roommate!ellie who refuses to let you buy groceries

“i eat more than you anyway” “you pay for the netlifx and the disney+” “let me sugar momma you”

roommate!ellie who will get on. All fours. if she comes home from work or class and you’re cooking or you made dinner for her.

(please please please be her housewife) (omg who said that?!)

roommate!ellie who puts cream and sugar in her coffee even though she likes black the best

because she knows she won’t finish the mug but you will and you like cream and sugar

roommate!ellie who is actually not! an astronomy major! she’s a paleontology major for sure

roommate!ellie who spends every paycheck she gets on 1. groceries and 2. random little trinkets she knows you’ll like

the sonny angel collection is crazy (thank you ellieeee :P)

roommate!ellie who can not stop giving you weird nicknames

“sweet girl” “angel” yeah yeah the normal ones but why is she calling you “beef” and “charcuterie board”

roommate!ellie was the first person you smoked with and she almost cried because she felt so bad when you greened out

her music taste is so. Bad (comedically, she actually has really good music taste)

“ellie if you play mask by dream one more time i’m going to [TRAIN PASSES BY]”

roommate!ellie (loser) who says “can i put my minecraft bed next to yours” LOSER

roommate!ellie who is So fucking smart but she pretends to not know what’s going on in her classes so you will sit next to her and your upper arm will touch hers as you help her

roommate!ellie who has to be constantly reminded to close her bedroom door at night

“i don’t know if you’re getting laid or watching p*rn but Hey close the door”

(you’re not jealous. why would you be jealous? it’s not like you like ellie or anything so if she’s getting laid why would it matter you don’t-)”

:0

roommate!ellie who worships the ground you walk on

do Not try on a dress or a skirt or a cropped shirt in front of her because she will pass out and d*e

stuttering and shit when you ask about her day (say it with me) (loooserrrr)

roommate!ellie who will Not hang up the phone or say goodbye without saying “love you”

cuz she does :,) she loves you :,)

don’t say “love you too” though because she will overthink it and stress herself out to tears

roommate!ellie who annoys dina so bad with how much she talks about you

“i was talking to y/n and she said” “y/n really likes this show” “y/n said that we should”

“oh my job just fuck already”

ellie’s best friend!dina who will look over you and at ellie and mouth ���kiss her!!!”

and you’re clueless obviously

[averagenolofinwean]

List of Incorrect Quotes Erestor may or may not have said when he was in a bad mood that may or may not sound like something Maedhros Feanorian has said

Erestor, high, smoking a cigarette: Ya know, sometimes I say: "This couldn't get any worse." And then the Valar hear me and proceed to make it worse. Fuck me for being optimistic and thinking it can't get any worse, but what's a boy to do?

----

Erestor: It's like my boss always said, if you have a basement, you gotta hide the bodies in there.

----

Erestor: If Life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Throw them at Nolofinwe

----

Erestor, to Elrond: Kid, here's a piece of advice from your big brother: If ya see anything, you didn't.

----

Erestor: Which one of you bootlickers snitched to my husband?

----

Erestor: There's only one thing worse than an orc. *rips off paper* A friendly orc.

----

Erestor: When I was a lil' youngin' my boss went up to me and told me that I'd make a great captain with the amount of trauma I have. *gestures at himself* And look how I turned out.

----

Erestor, being super petty talking to his husband: Well, does your orc-hunting make you orgasm? *he shakes his head* Yeah you better hope it doesn't!

----

Erestor, to Elrond about Celebrian: Ya bitch keeps on yapping to me about Paleontology can you fucking stop her?

----

Erestor: I don't care if it's your fault or not, I don't care for your excuses, if you don't wanna end up like the people of Sirion you better listen to me!

----

Erestor: You see, I don't have a problem with the world in general. I just have a problem with the way they eat their buritos

----

Erestor: My life insurance doesn't cover this shit, but when did it ever cover anything

[historia-vitae-magistras]

Hi, I hope you don't mind me asking but why did Zee hate being a nurse? Well, other than her being forced into the role

I don't think she hated it at first. She loved being a professional in a crisp uniform with real rank and authority all her own on the virtue of her education and experience. It's a far cry from being permitted to do more or less whatever she likes because her father is a man with rank and authority. She likes the puzzle of diagnosis, the riddle of keeping people alive, and the profound speed with which medicine advances thrills her. But even as young as she is by the standards of her own kind, she still gets a bit restless. And it's in those times that just how unfuckingfair everything hits her.

When Jack's bored, he can pick up anything he pleases. Natural history, biology, paleontology, leather tanning, winemaking. If he's tired of the city, he can just up and fuck off into the interior to be a stock hand If he wants. No one will stop him. And to a certain extent, she can too if she really wants, but it's just so much harder and riskier. What she is does give her a certain amount of protection, but it's still a hard thing to pull off. So she switches jobs, visits her father or a brother or friends or throws on trousers, and leaves gender behind entirely. But life is still so often a choice between harrowing or stifling.

Patients love her; she's an excellent nurse. She's funny, a bit naughty, and always partial to her own. She can give as much as she gets when speech becomes sparing. She continued in pediatric and community nursing over time, but I think she got heartily sick of nursing during WWI. She climbed the cliffs of Gallipoli half out of spite but still took the hill of Chanuk Bair. She left her gender behind and smashed her brains in with rocks like any other half-starved body on the trench line. She did her part to cut that hill from Turkish hands at bayonet point. She showed a talent and a propensity for violence no one wants to believe exists in pretty young women. The only real victory Gallipoli saw was hers, brought to heel by her brutality. But then the British lost the captured ground almost instantly, and it was for nothing.

She slides back into nursing not long after as Churchill's foolishness finally comes to a close, and she spends the rest of 1916 trying to preserve whatever decency, whatever sanity remains to her and Jack. And that's almost harder for her to do as a nurse, witnessing death after disease after devastating injury, one after another after another. She wanders around as she likes from unit to unit, corset or helmet on and off, but often feels guilty when it's not in a corset because nurses are in much higher demand than any grunt with a rifle. Sometimes, she just can't stand the sight of another broken body. But she does kind of redeem nursing for herself by mid-1917 when the British army commands that dominion nurses can't be trained as anesthesiologists, and she only mentions Canada and Australia. I always think of that as a sly little move on Arthur's part because it puts Zee on a pay and rank basis equal to doctors for the first time and that her forceful personality can go to some real reforming use for the first time in a while.

So yeah, too long didn't read: it's not that she hated nursing so much as she hates misogyny and the front-row seat to senseless violence it granted her.

[bra1nw0rmz]

what do you think Levi’s favorite deep sea creature would be.. I’m biased for tripod fish larva

I feel like I’m the wrong person to ask this bc I’m a paleontology/archaeology autistic. But I don’t think you can go wrong with giant isopods

Levi would own like 5 of these

Otherwise yeah I think that fish is fucking cool

[petcomplex]

rant about school ahead , sorry for the non—yan post </3

i wish i could go to an actually interesting school . like an art school or , fuck — a science school ? ? ( if you two see this , , i’m jealous asf /nm ) but in stuck with classes like u.s. government and architecture ( <- cool in theory but i hate it ) . jesus , the most interesting class right now i have is AP psych but im 50% sure mf teacher hates me ? ? so , , ,

yeah , it’d be much more engaging for me if i could go to a school where i could actually take game design , digital art , creative writing . or a school where i could take a plethora of zoology classes and maybe even paleontology . shit that ACTUALLY interests me .

and i know i could get all that and then some with college or university , but i plan on taking a gap year if i even go . so wow !

[blorbologist]

hehehe. hi :3

FMA AU: 🦋 | AooD: 🐜 | Jurassic Park AU: 🤪 or 🎨 | OFS+TFJ: 🎉 | Ruidusborn Percy: 💕 | BDSM Modern AU: 📖

answer as many or as few as you want!! i wanted to touch on multiple AUs >:3 and also search for things i don’t know yet lmao

OH BOY!!

AU Ask Game

FMA AU: 🦋 ''Share a downstream ‘Butterfly Effect’!

OH! hmmmm... see, the tricky thing is that this AU does broadly follow the plot beats of the manga, right? Some things are shifted around, but you know. Roy/Vex fucks up Envy/Delilah before Envy kills themselves, final fight involves Al/Beau giving their body back to Truth so Ed/Caleb can have his arm back...

I think the biggest butterfly is that our Hughes equivalent, Vax, doesn't die - because Vex, instead of being the Flame Alchemist like Roy is, is the Sewing Life Alchemist. So she can patch him up - or he ends up as a chimera through nefarious means instead. Either way, yahoo! yippee!!

AooD: 🐜 'What’s the smalllllllest change you want to share?'

SEE NOW THIS ONE IS A BIG AU SO IT'S GOT SO MANY BIG CHANGES?!?!

Ok, hm. Small change:

I'm almost at the point where I'm writing an almost one-to-one replica of the Feast of Imyr. Bar a few tiny details such as...

Loquatius needing new jokes to make fun of Vex's name instead of Purvan's.

Percy either freaking out about Bolo being there or commiserating with her about 'this BAG. not MACHINE.'

Vex and Percy clocking pretty quickly that Dean Hollow was up to no good inviting the Champion of Ravens and behaving accordingly.

That '[S]he was one of us' comment from Hollow about the Matron being really fucking painful for Vex to hear about the Warden

Oh, yeah - and a Gau Drashari is going to Transport Via Plants out of the tree Nydas brought. Hey, hi, sorry! Don't mind Keyleth, she's making a great first impression.

More under the cut!!

Jurassic Park AU: 🤪 'Silliest part of the AU?'

The Briarwoods are collectively sharing John Hammond's role (the more evil book version). They are The capitalist assholes. Something something a necromancer bringing shit back from the dead, something something a vampire not letting things grow old and being a blood sucking billionair. It's perfect. It's awful. Do you see my vision!??!?

or 🎨 'What’s the most creative part of this AU?'

OKAY SO! The og Jurassic Park was written in 1990. A lot of our scientific knowledge has advanced in leaps and bounds since then: not just the paleontology and understanding of dinosaurs, but standards of zookeeping and animal behavior, genetics, computer systems and security, etc.

So most of JP's original failure points don't actually apply if you tried to rewrite this today - and either way they're all very well known. The lysene, the frog DNA breeding, the tracking glitch, the raptors having no fucking enrichment, etc.

The tricky and fun part about this AU is finding new, sensible ways to run the park / protect the guests and dinosaurs / get certified so they can run at all... and still have it go to shit when Vax, Keyleth and co have the introductory tour.

OFS+TFJ: 🎉 'What change are you most proud of?'

DALEN'S CLOSET HAPPENING OVER THE YEAR BREAK. GENIUS MOVE @ ME. Compounded on all the prior changes and gave Delilah a chance for an amazing entrance, and had so much dramatic irony compared to Dalen's Closet in canon.

Ruidusborn Percy: 💕 'How are relationships impacted by the AU?'

Oh god. So: Percy is both a lot more sheltered (no one wants to be friends with a mind-reading rich freak) and is lacking social skills (why bother when he can read minds if he has to?). He is... way less cool and more of a huge pain in the ass until VM can socialize him. like a feral cat. He's probably even closer to Keyleth than canon, and to some degree Grog too (easier to understand what's going on in that thick head), but the twins and Scanlan trust him far less due to not wanting him poking around in their heads.

The thing is, Percy is also acutely aware of all that from when he does slip up and get a grasp of what's going on in their heads.: he can pry behind Vex and Scanlan's masks in a way no one else can, and Vax just doesn't trust the spying potential. (Vex especially is terrified of Percy seeing her budding feelings, once that pops up, so she's slower to fall for him.)

I think things probably improve once Percy gets something like Imogen's circlet to block out the influx of thoughts - then he becomes extremely awkward and bumbling without that fallback of information and everyone goes 'oh wow he's harmless and also down SO bad for Vex he doesn't know what to do with himself'.

BDSM Modern AU: 📖 'What’s The defining moment of your AU?'

OHO!! OHOHOHOHOH!!

I think The moment I think of in my head about this AU is... Percy working on Vex's custom toy after he finds out it's for her. Getting very hot under the collar (HAH!) and trying so very hard to keep his cool. It's that tension I'm most excited about - but of course this is a BDSM AU! They'll likely start playing together before romantic feelings pop up (but after Percy comes clean ofc)! Which is its own bag of worms. sexy, sexy, writhing worms.

Also just like. All the horny tied up (HAH) with Percy's character growth and healing as he realizes that he's a switch, not a firm dom as he'd forced himself to believe for the longest time due to #trauma. muah!

[assortedvillainvault]

It's a bit of a random question, but I'm simply curious, how did you start falling in love with the Horned King/what's your origin story with him? Only if you want to share it of course^^ Feel free to also just generally gush or ramble about him!

(also btw I think it's awesome that we share him as an f/o now, I think subconsciously I already knew for a while that I'd fall for him eventually, it was just a matter of time he's just too gorgeous💕)

Ok this ask has given me the warm fuzzies for several weeks so thank you and I guess I should probably answer this now huh -

(also every time someone else pops up who f/o's him I'm Absolutely Delighted and am so glad I helped facilitate your decent into lich simpery)

I'll do IRL and self insert shenanigans, so IRL first:

- the first time I watched the black cauldron I'd be ...about 8 or 9?

- one thing you sincerely must understand about me is that I am, unapologetically, unequivocally, unexpectedly....a weenie.

- much as I adore the spooky and the strange, any film that veers into remotely scary territory, or horror in general, that shit scars me down to the cellular level.

- Power to everyone who can disengage/absorb that stuff healthily because I sure as fuck don't and doubt I ever will. Anyway.

- mum buys me the black cauldron and thinks nothing of it. It's Disney, right?

- anyway yeah uh suffice to say boy golly gee I'd never seen *that* many skeletons animated before. Think my little brother started crying at some point.

- but honestly, something about the films mad dichotomy of attempted cutesy fantasy with grim dark backdrop and off kilter humour enamoured me. And I found myself wanting *more* of the dark parts of the film.

- (still early the full cauldron born scenes were cut. So goddamn salty)

- the Horned King became a lynchpin of fascination, something about his eerie voice, his apathetic yet menacing mannerisms and his degraded appearance really drew me in. Esp his summoning and death scenes.

- I think I started drawing skeletons soon after and they're still the easiest thing for me to draw.

- over decade later when I was depressed as all fuck, I rewatched the film and found myself only really enjoying his scenes, in part because he was the only relatable villain to me at the time. (Eternally tired, quietly dramatic, quick to anger and dismissal. A smorgasbord of things to distract myself from feeling like I was actively decomposing too at the time. Brains are wild.)

- now I like to imagine quietly helping him get to a better place same as I've managed to do :) who needs therapy when you have imaginary lich time.

As for self insert funky times:

- rather than imagining myself in the dark ages, mostly because despite living in the UK my knowledge of that time period is just awful, I imagine a modern setting

- crucially tho the events of the film still happened exactly as shown.

- in this setting my s/I has moved to Wales and accidentally rediscovered the -broken- cauldron, and the remains of the castle. Time itself rusted the old thing and it cracked, letting HK's disheveled soul slip free.

- my S/I is an amateur ecologist, with interest in geology and paleontology and history. (So just me. Straight up me. I can't even pretend here) Once she figures out she's effectively haunted, HK's presence is akin to a field day.

- will she attempt to resurrect him properly? Eh who knows. Maybe. I'm a real fucking sucker for ghosts, esp partial possession or soul bonds.

- magic exists still in this setting, it's just mostly forgotten and thus dismissed. Of course my s/I has latent magic because of course, and I love the idea of HK teaching her as a pseudo bonding activity.

- love just watching HK be bamboozled and overwhelmed by the modern world too. Show this lich a toaster someone-

- very low stakes very chill, just two lonely fools trying to rebuild their 'lives' together. Probably the most weirdly cottage core of my selfships if I'm honest. With more dead things.

So yeah that's pretty much it! Thanks again for the lovely ask, and feel free to tag me in anything lich related 🥰

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Boy do I hate whenever people just automatically shut me down anytime I talk about birds being dinosaurs. It’s like yeah I know what the fuck I’m talking about. Do you? No, you don’t even care that much about paleontology or zoology. (This is directed at some of my classmates, who are otherwise great people, but they just didn’t even let me speak about birds being actual literal dinosaurs. I just need to get my frustrations out with someone who would understand. I hope you have a nice day.)

I feel this very muchly. like.... this really doesn't have to be such a big deal. everyone fighting against it is a fool.

[starlightiing]

Tagged by: @williams-spare-chassis

Do you make your bed?

No. Absolutely not. I hate making beds.

Favourite number?

47. I also enjoy 27, 77, 87, 97...I think that's it.

What's your job?

My title is administrative assistant but I am working on getting it changed to Claims Specialist :))))

If you could go back to school, would you?

Fuck no. Like, I would consider it maybe if I was chasing my dream job but at this point in my life that is not possible, so no.

Can you parallel park?

Can I? Yes. Am I good at it? Ehhh, debatable. I'm decent. I don't ever need to do it though.

Do you think aliens are real?

Of course. How could anyone think we are alone in a universe so big?

Can you drive a manual car?

No, but looking to learn soon.

Guilty Pleasures?

Dinosaurs. Obsessed with them. Not in a heehee dinosaurs are cool way either. I see bone casts in museums and I have been spotted sitting on the floor crying over them before. I do extensive research in my spare time. I've taken online courses in paleontology. Sue me.

Tattoos?

Yeah, six. Peter Pan on my right shoulder, BB8 R2D2 and C3PO on my left shoulder, a turtle on my foot, mickey and minnie on my wrist, simba on my chest, and then one down my forearm that matches my sister and my mama's tattoos <3

Favourite Colour?

Light pastel baby pink!

Favourtie type of music?

I like pop rock and alternative.

Do you like puzzles?

Yes

Favourite childhood sport?

I played tennis as a child but I watched NASCAR and american football and hockey the most.

Do you talk to yourself?

Full blown conversations.

Tea or coffee?

Coffee, iced or cold in some way. I do not like hot coffee. In fact, when I have Tea, its usually also iced.

First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

Doctor or Paleontologist.

What movies do you adore?

Inception, Sunshine, The Jurassic Parks/Worlds, Disney movies (esp Ratatouille, Aladdin, Cars, Tangled, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Tarzan...), The Martian, -- I really have a LOT of movies I love so I should stop there lol.

tagging: (no pressure) @alex-kresnik @scrappyracers @abovecalamity @bun-nuit @landoisokay

@watercolor-hearts @chilling-seavey @weegreenbean @estebunny

@alpinegasly @oconist @pinkcarsupremacy @osh-my-prince

and literally whoever else. I always just pick like a handful of people and then go from there but honestly I want everyone to do it who sees it and wants to do it. Say I tagged you.

[one-coming-is-enough]

dearest jesus (yeshua? what dy prefer-)

please remember that humans can be stupid too

so you can't believe anything you see on billboards as true ok? birds do exist. you have seen owls and crows. don't succumb to conspiracy theories.

LIKE THE DINOSAURS NOT BEING REAL

do you know how many fossils have been found? intricate, individual fossils in unimaginable places and positions, showing how unique and diverse and real they were?? but nooo, people can believe that living crows are cameras but they won't believe that heyy, maybe these very material bones actually belonged to something that lived?

this is all being said with a lot of love and just a little frustration :')

[[i will either convince these eternal beings, gaslight them if i must, into believing in dinosaurs or i will quit on my paleontology degree]]

Honey, I love your energy and I really want you to send me pictures of cool fossils because I love cool rocks.

But you might actually be sending this ask to the biggest conspiracy theory of all time, Himself.

There's far more evidence out there to suggest that dinosaurs, dodos, and the Australian Night Parrot all were/are very real than there is evidence that I ever existed. Or that My most relevant ancestor, King David, ever existed.

In fact, I might have actually been several different people with the same name, combined with some stories about Mithra and Dionysus and a little bit of Buddhist philosophy, then defanged from an anti-imperial political activist and/or Jewish scholar into a mystical being that rewarded sacrifice and meekness on Earth for the chance of a shot at the good Heaven, the one that the uptight Roman gods kept everyone but the greatest heroes out of (many early Christians believed that the Jews worshipped the Roman Saturn, just like the Egyptians believed that the Jews worshipped Set).

But now I'm here, making tacos appear out of nowhere, trying to avoid answering prayers in favor of talking about my favorite ways to eat fish, and pointing 6000 identical demons named Eric to the back Stairway to Heaven.

Anyway, if My Mother can make all those fossils just to mess with people (let Me tell you, She's got a fucked-up sense of humor), She can definitely make fake birds that are secretly stupid little angels that spy on people for Her and have been given the dubious gift of shitting everywhere they please.

(Don't even get Me started on the other deities who use corvids for surveillance purposes. Between Odin, Apollo, and the Morrigan, not to mention Everyone Else, the ravens of the entire Northern Hemisphere are deeply overworked.)

I mean, that totally makes sense, right? That a reasonable Creator would make literal mountains and mountains of evidence that dinosaurs existed for billions of years just so She could see if some of Her humans managed to dig them up and get exactly the wrong idea about it, yeah? Carbon dating and rates of atomic decay are just a test for the unholy, yeah?