#Esp as we go into November

[cabaretofwords]

I was challenged to work for 1 hour and post the results.

It was good. I feel like I have started something.

Salt and Starships snippet

Wordcount: 770

Reeva marched down the wide, sloped corridor, her uniform coat unbuckled and billowing in her wake. The red fabric and gold details marked her important in a way that drew eyes, but, upon closer inspection those eyes and heads turned back to their families or business partners. she couldn't be important; her uniform wasn't even pressed. 

Reeva caught a glimpse of herself in a wall mirror as she passed. Her dark hair was a storm cloud around her head, the dawn light that filtered through the floor to ceiling terminal windows caught in the ends of her curls, catching a halo that matched her uniform, Her trousers were crumpled and the maroon lipstick that was mandatory for all attendants to wear looked ashy, rather than striking. Not like the women who smiled in the ads, their teeth and eyes unnaturally bright.

She pulled at the coat, trying to get it closed over her singlet while she hoofed it through the corridor - made more of a challenge by the fact she was currently one handed, her crew suitcase dragging behind her. She'd packed it is such a rush that the leg of her off duty pants had been hanging out and caught in the conveyor belt at security. She would have to wear her uniform slacks or her pyjama shorts until time she had a day off that was anywhere near a shop.

"This is the final boarding call for Flight 4089 to Starship Theta."

There was an edge to the friendly announcer - she had a severe case of customer service voice, which only got worse as the announcement went on, forced from her like the last pearl of toothpaste from an empty tube.

"Final boarding call to all passengers and crew traveling to Starship Theta on Flight 4089. Your flight will be departing at 6:05." 

Reeva glanced at her wrist, and made a mental note to call her hotel and ask if they had found a watch in her room. A departure board told her it was 6:00.

As she squinted at the board, trying to read it as she rushed passed, Reeva's heel caught in the soft carpet and she folded, her landing cushioned by nothing but the bones in her hip. The suitcase handle cracked across her thigh.

"This is the FINAL boarding call for anyone traveling the Starship Theta on Flight 4089. Your flight is fully boarded and ready to leave. please proceed to gate lounge 1 for boarding."

"Balls!" Reeva scrambled to her feet, kicking off the pumps and grabbing them with one hand and her suitcase with the other. No point worrying about uniform violations if she was going to miss the flight completely. The same kinds of people who had been stealing glances at her were now staring outright. They were second class passengers. The kind who could still afford this kind of short range space travel but would never be boarding at gates 1 through 5. None of them stepped in to help Reeva. They just watched as she stowed her shoes under her suitcase arm and started running.

Gate 1 was at the very end of the terminal, up two levels, but for crew, the only way to get there was via the lower gates - made for smaller crafts on short journeys - visiting relatives who lived in terraformed colonies in this system. She sprinted past gate 200 towards the lift doors. Three crew members wearing the same red and gold as her were entering the lift. They looked like sleek, well groomed mares, their hair pulled back into ballet buns, their uniforms pressed. they walled with an air of importance, though Reeva knew they were going to a job where they would be chewed out for looking at the wrong passenger.

"Hold the doors!" she called out. She didn't have the time to scramble for the pass that she had shoved into her suitcase after security had cut her pants apart to save their machines. "God damn, please, hold the doors!" 

The trio turned their heads to look at her. their expressions were blank and impassive. Perfectly professional and unmoving. The doors were closing but all she needed was to get a foot through the doors and she'd be in, and that much closer to her flight.

"Boarding for Gate 1 is closing in one minute." The flight attendant on the other end of the microphone wasn't even trying to hide her frustration now. She gasped for breath as she sprinted toward the closing lift doors. But where crowds parted for the sleek trio, for Reeva they gathered and gawked.

[just-null]

YO, SUPER LATE SUPER LONG SUPER MESSY OCTOBER POST THAT I JUST SHOVED EVERYTHING INTO BC I DIDN'T WANT TO DO MULTIPLE. FUCK IT.

I forgot halfway that these were supposed to be costumes and not mini aus... SO REMEMBER IN MY PLACE, EVERYTHING IS HYPOTHETICAL. also. some have a bit of yandere elements to them bc its SO FITTING FOR NORITOSHI.

Happy late October, everyone. it's winter now. Let's get it, baby.

[Long rambles and doodles under the cut!]

Vampire!

I kept asking myself, "How sexy is too sexy.." and "How the fuck does a sexy vampire even look like without it being a shirtless guy w fangs or Edward Cullen....." I think I figured it out

Sure, sure, vampires are superhumans with sun allergies that can drink blood really hotly. They can also easily overpower you to feast and blah blah blah, but what if said vampire (Noritoshi) was too weak to do any of that? Not literally, but he craves your say. He wants not only your blood but your affection. He wants to get praised as he drinks you in. Are you comfortable? How much will you allow him to take? Do you want to get him back in return? Guidance with this makes him feel more at ease. It's still Noritoshi at the end of the day. He's going to find a way to be a little awkward about you because of his crush. He refuses to drink from anyone other than you, even if it causes his death. Therefore, he has to keep you healthy! For the rest of your lives..! Besides, he can't really go outside or else he'd.. y'know. So if you think about it, this is a very beneficial relationship for both of you!!

The only downside is that you're losing blood on the regular, and for some reason, more people are moving away... Probably nothing, right? Noritoshi is always there to keep you company and help you recover anyways.

Witch!

my attempts also bled into the witch design.... you got greedy with requesting two in one ask, but I'll spoil you this time bc I also wanted to see Noritoshi as a (sexy) vampire and witch. heh. AND I DIDNT REALIZE HED BE SO CUTE AS A WITCH..... WHAT THE FUCK?? rip momo, fight for your title of cute witch...

Noritoshi strikes me as one of those witches who'd rather be left to their own devices because they're running some important magic whatever in the background. though, he'll take some breaks and indulge you if you insist on having him around. Insist meaning you pass by and strike conversation, leaving him to neglect anything and everything to prioritize his time with you. He doesn't want to use magic on you unless it's beneficial for either you or both. Noritoshi likes a natural progression with you that he knows for a fact is true and not some product of some spell. Though it doesn't mean he wouldn't use charms and such to get you to interact with him more often to speed up the process!

Can't sleep? He has a remedy perfect for that! Bad luck? Oh no, take a charm. Nerves? A potion he perfected will help you ease your jitters. Annoying peers? With a snap of Noritoshi's fingers, they're gone! Just don't ask what happened. Enjoy yourself instead and come to him with any new issue. He's quick to resolve it.

Definitely has some sort of doll that looks suspiciously like you.. Noritoshi would probably talk to it and practice one liners that give you the strongest sense of nostalgia once he uses them. He's simultaneously giddy that the charm he put in the doll works but also a little annoyed that his hard work isn't surprising you, but leaving you with deja vu.

Idol!

i was crying the entire time bc what does an idol look like.... noritoshi is handsome enough to be an idol without actually being an idol... now i can confirm that idols are very well dressed though. thumbs up 100% but i had some thoughts...

[Idol]

Noritoshi would be the type to cherish his fans, but hold clear favoritism over you. he'd be those idols that look cold, but they talk, and they sound smug in a charming way. i don't know much about idols, but i know he'd be so fucking good.... he'd be the type of guy to sing to you amongst the hundreds in the crowd.... ahhh the interviews w these famous aus. they're just talking and acting like themselves. can you imagine Noritoshi getting asked the question if he has a lover or not? he can lie, im sure you're alright with that, but he doesn't want to!! he does have someone!!! someone he loves more than all his fans love for him combined!!! he just can't say it for the sake of your privacy and his career. so Noritoshi does what any charming guy who's good with their words does. he deflects the question. answering the question, but not really, that'd be something he's known for. fans online are split on why Noritoshi does this. some think he's trying to keep that side of his life private, others think he's trying to mess around, and others think he's hiding a secret lover!!! though the last one is usually seen as the outlandish one, sometimes it makes Noritoshi's heart drop bc they get some things right. "Having a lover is a complicated question hidden behind a simple disguise. If I had to answer, I'd say my lovers are my audience. they make sure i'm well cared for, some more than others." AND HIS FUCKING LITTLE SMIRK I CANT COUGHS UP BLOOD. IM A THEORIST TOO. SECRET LOVER. 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

ON THE FLIP SIDE....

[Not an Idol]

An amusing thought where Noritoshi goes out in his casual clothes, and he's mistaken for an idol. No one knows who he is, but he just looks like he'd be one. bro's just trying to buy groceries, and now he has a fan group asking him to take pictures with them.. He'd tell them that he's just a guy, not an idol, but the group would still want a picture with him. it'd be a waste to pass by someone who's so naturally gorgeous, so with a sigh of defeat, he relents. It's just a photo, right? No harm done. Noritoshi'd go home and feel overwhelmed/embarrassed by the whole ordeal. later, he gets a call from someone in the kyoto group or you to inform him how he's all over social media, known as that handsome guy in the supermarket. HED BE COMPLETELY UNREACHABLE TO MEDIA OUTLETS BC NORITOSHI IS THAT GUY WHO DOESNT HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA.... he'd have to make one to make sure no one pretends to be him online. "Hello, I don't use social media, but I've been informed I've been getting attention online. To prevent anyone from being fooled by an impersonator, this is my official and only account. thank you." P.R. STATEMENT WRITING ASS.. his single post gets flooded with likes, comments, and DMs. it almost blows up his phone..... he was just buying bread, dude...... people try to dig up and find him through the other Kyoto group's social media.

[bonus] my second in command requested to put him in a fem idol outfit bc he thought it was funny. after frothing at the mouth and coughing out blood, I complied.

Doctor!

THIS IS SUCH A STRAIGHT FORWARD ASK BUT IT HAS SO MANY IMPLICATIONS. MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER.. THOSE EMOJIS GIVE ME A DIFFERENT IMPRESSION BUT IM NOT SURE.

Noritoshi as a doctor...... apple sales would plummet. his little clinic's business would skyrocket. sick cases would peak in his area. getting your heart checked by his stethoscope would be so fucking embarrassing bc all he'd hear is THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP

LIKE IMAGINE IF THAT WAS YOUR DOCTOR? BRO.

COUGH COUGH HACK WHEEZE COUGH COUGH.

Noritoshi would probably own a small clinic that he wants to expand. That or he opened one after working for a hospital for a while. He's a great doctor who's most likely respected but a pain in the ass to work with. Among patients, he's gotten the hot doctor reputation. Most want to be treated by him, but he's so professional, any chance of trying to flirt goes down the drain. Yeah, he puts his hair up to avoid it in his face even though his eyes are closed classic lab safety procedures. He seems like the type to have a soothing but authoritative voice during examination, so he gets his message across. it's a bit difficult when dealing with patients for Noritoshi. If he sees them too often, he firstly scolds you for not taking care of yourself, then feels guilty for not giving you the proper care. Keep yourself safe and healthy, or else Noritoshi will clearly :( Putting him in a yandere setting would be dangerous. He'd have a lot of control over you, considering he can prescribe medication, shots, visits, and other things.... he'd have a ball.... nothing that would cause you any harm, of course. he's only looking out for you and doing what's best for you..!

Pirate!

my second in command wanted a pirate. pirates are so fucking cool and i know damn well if this guy were a pirate he'd have a bunch of battle scars under that fancy coat.

Noritoshi as a pirate would be more than a little odd, but also fitting. He looks like the type of guy who'd be well put together, yet he's willing to get his hands dirty. Like the guy who got into the pirate life because of some personal issue that couldn't be solved fast enough through conventional means. Even as a pirate, i imagine he holds everyone to high standards. They're still pirates though.. so his expected standards aren't even that high. He has more freedom here, so even he himself lets loose once or twice. Especially with you. He's even able to get away with more violent actions for you, the seas are unpredictable, after all. While taking some treasure, Noritoshi'd toss you a gem or golden coin, just so you can say you were the first to claim it. Just so he can see that happy glint in your eyes when getting your hands on treasure. God forbid anyone try to get their hands on your hard earned goods. They'd be met with a bullet to the foot or a sword at their neck. Everyone and their mother knows how you're his favorite, but Noritoshi downplays it. Its not a crime to help out someone from his crew is it? Not in the seven seas. He leans more into his cold ruthless killer side here. He has goals and people to help keep in line whether hes captain or not. Yet when around you, he's almost adorable in how he shows you a pearl so entrancing that it reminded him of you.

Corpse Bride!

my submission to my Noritoshi Halloween costume closet.. CORPSE BRIDE, THIS MOVIE FUCKS. esp w the yandere elements.

Noritoshi 100% made you recite the wedding vows to him before accepting the ring. If you fumbled up, he'd correct you with SO much attitude and expect you to start from the top until you got it perfectly.

Hypothetically, in the chalice scene towards the end..

Noritoshi is the type to never be fully relaxed unless he knows for sure you'll be eternally his. In this scenario, YOU proposed to HIM but have to die to continue being together. Not only that, but someone in the living world is also after your heart. Someone who bleeds. Someone who's the obvious choice. Someone who can give you the life that you deserve. Someone who will succeed in their pursuits if you. remain. alive. Noritoshi's life was cut short, yet he still managed to lose so much and be abandoned a considerable amount of times. When he meets you and finds out about the possibility of having to go through that again even in death, it finally clicks in his rotting mind. He realizes he's been doing something wrong to keep constantly failing. Noritoshi revises his methods to a more.. selfish course. Why should he care about anyone else's wants or how his actions hurt them? You were the only one who made him truly fulfilled, to make him feel alive. The only one who deserves anything and everything good that comes from this world. Destiny is never done toying with him when he realizes your marriage is invalid because of your pulse and his lack thereof no matter how hard he'd try, but the opportunity arises. of course, he's ecstatic to give you an afterlife worth much more than what a silly beating heart can achieve. "All people die eventually. If you miss your living family or friends, all it takes is patience, darling. I'll wait by your side in the meantime." He weighs the pros and cons of everything, but when it comes to swaying manipulating your thoughts he only highlights the ones that'll get you on his side. in this case, the pros of dying to be with him! Honestly, the answer was so obvious that Noritoshi didn't know why he was stressing about it before. It hurts him to see you in any type of pain, but he reassures both himself and you that it'll only be for a moment. Afterward, he'll have the rest of your afterlives to make it up to you!! What happened to Till Death Do Us Part? Noritoshi thinks it's insulting that something as shallow as that could be so widely accepted. If your love were true, it wouldn't stop just because the world decided to take them away. "Till death do us part? Darling, don't be silly. 'Not even death will do us part' feels much better, doesn't it?" 

[ranger-kellyn]

hey brain if we could like. actually write. outside the month of november, that would be great

[monsterhugger]

it’s raining today and I was waiting for the bus home from the plasma center. I was wearing short sleeves with a sweater over it, no jacket, bc that’s easier for donating plasma

and it just occurred to me I should have been cold. I should not be able to wait for the bus in December in a t shirt and light sweater. i shouldn’t be able to take out the trash at work in my short-sleeved uniform in December and be fine. it shouldn’t be RAINING in DECEMBER in the NORTHERN US

[bartxnhood]

talk fast | c.t.h

calum hood x fem!reader

summary: you both agreed to no strings attached, right?

warnings: oh boy tons of drinking (sorry), smoking, language, brief mentions of sexual activity (nothing explicit), and sexual innuendos.

w/c: 13k

a/n: hi my loves !! this one is a long time coming, i’ve been working on this since september. i started school in november which put a halt on all of my writing, but now that i graduated expect more from me. :). to all of my calum lovers, this one’s for you. p.s: if this does as well as i hope it does, i may consider making this a series on wattpad.

a/n pt.2: shout out everyone who helped my write this. esp @valentiyne you guys are amazing. 🩷

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2024 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

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you weren't a stranger to relationships, and you'd had your fair share of them over the years. which you were aware that everyone else did, but you weren’t really serious about relationships. you didn't want to be with someone who didn't envision a future with you or who didn't share your goals.

your friends often told you that you should let loose and enjoy yourself, but that was not the life for you.

you had been in a very healthy relationship with someone you had known since college for the past few years. however, as time went, he became increasingly open about his needs for different things and eventually ended his relationship with you.

you went into a deep depression after the breakup, you didn't leave your apartment for weeks, you only showered maybe twice, and you couldn't remember the last time you ate anything other than instant noodles or ice cream.

what else could you do while you were wasting away? you had imagined spending the rest of your life with him, and now he’s gone.

your life seemed to change overnight.

while your friends and family around tried being there for you, you had pushed them so far away that they had just decided to give up on you. except, your best friend, olivia, finally dragged you out of your bed and forced you to shower so you could go out for the night with her.

“you need to get out, have fun, and forget about that jerk” she states, standing above you as she glides eyeliner on your eyes. “you’re hot, you’re fun, you have a great personality. i’m sure we can find you someone tonight!” she adds while finishing your makeup.

“olivia…” you sigh then look into the mirror, watching as your friend painted your face with a determined look in her eye. “no. we’re gonna have fun, we’re gonna party and get drunk. kay? you need this.” she grins, resting her head on your shoulder looking at you in the mirror. “now, go change into the outfit i brought you.”

"where are we going, anyway?" you ask, pulling at your skirt, which was riding up as you moved. you loved olivia, but some of her dress choices made you uncomfortable. "my brother got us into the pre-release party for the band five seconds of summer," she adds, gazing down at her phone for directions to the club, a hole in the wall on broadway. "what?!" you exclaim, your eyes widening. "how did he do that?" olivia laughs and clasps her arm around yours. "well, when you have a brother who manages a band, you kinda get vip treatment," she spoke with a grin. "plus, I told him how you've been feeling down, so he talked to the guys and they said it was fine," she chuckled softly, as the two of you continued your journey to the club.

the entry to the club was immediately visible due to the brilliant pink, purple, and red lights illuminating the street, as well as record posters in the windows. "this has to be it," olivia says as she opens the door for you, walking in after.

this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so you should be excited, right? but you couldn't shake the nagging guilt on the inside.

it’s okay to move on, right?

olivia leads you to the bar and orders a couple shots, "to your drop dead ex and a new beginning!" olivia cheers, toasting the glasses and the two of you downing the liquor.

you were about to start speaking when you were interrupted by olivia's brother, mark.

"it's been a long time, y/n!" he welcomes you with a shout. “how’s it going?” he asks, you see olivia roll her eyes and turn to her brother. “mark, we were having a conversation.” she states matter of a factly.

"i know, but I just wanted to introduce you to some of my buddies," the tall ginger says, stepping to the side and revealing four taller men. mark introduces them, "this is luke." he had blond curly hair, ocean blue eyes, and a white button-down shirt with the top button undone.

"michael," he said, his pink hair slicked to the side, a black snapback on, with a small wave of his hand in greeting. "ashton.” he had curly hair like luke, but it was fashioned in a 60’s greaser type of way, he smiled at you warmly, extending his hand for you to shake, the two of you nodding in acknowledgment of the other. "last- but not least, calum."

your gaze met his brown eyes, his chocolate curls resting just above his eyes as he looked you in the eyes. he was dressed in a white button-down shirt with black stripes that complemented his tanned and tattooed skin. he softly whispered "hi" as he squeezed his lips together in a smile. you smile back and nod. "hi.” calum's gaze lingers longer than he would have preferred, but he couldn't help himself. no way, not with you dressed like that. the way the black skirt clung to your hips and the dark blue halter top left nothing for the imagination

“guys this is my sister, olivia, and her friend, y/n.” mark says, pointing to the two of you, bringing calum out of his daydream. “nice to meet you guys” you say, offering a warm smile and they all nod to you. “are you staying for the show?” ashton inquired, olivia nods. “of course we are! wouldn’t miss it for a thing.” she gently nudges your arm, you laugh softly and nod.

"great, can't wait for you all to hear the album," ashton says, as the other three nod in agreement. "well, I have to get them backstage, but I'll see you later, okay?" mark replies, and you and olivia nod as the group disappears into the busy room.

as the show began, olivia tugged you closer to the stage, two rows back. the lights dimmed and you heard a huge cheer from the audience as the four boys you had just met took the stage.

your gaze was drawn to calum, who seemed engrossed with the music. how he made it appear so easy while looking so nice. you kept an eye on him for the majority of the night, but your mind was elsewhere.

you had found your way to the bar after the show had concluded; it was a terrific show, as expected, but seeing the band live was a weird experience, and you just couldn't enjoy yourself given your circumstances.

you found yourself reminiscing on your relationship during songs like "lie to me" and "why won't you love me," wondering whether you would have said something different or been more open to him. maybe you’d still be together.

you finish the drink you ordered and search the crowd for your best friend, but when you can't find her, you return your attention to the empty glass in front of you watching it being filled.

"was our stage set really that bad?" when you hear a voice, you quickly look up to find the person who is speaking. "i saw you, you seemed unhappy," calum adds, leaning on the bar. you shook your head and let out a breathless laugh. "no, it was actually very good," you say with a smile.

calum's gaze lingered, he leaned forward. "but? you were definitely not having a good time." you shrug and allow the bartender to refill your drink. "well, i got dumped not too long ago." "so", you trail off, messing with the glass in your hand.

"just not in the mood for a party, i guess," you shrug, and you hear calum hum. he switches his weight from one leg to the other. "actually, you looked pretty hot on stage," you cover your mouth and widen your eyes. "oh my goodness...i." you can't help but giggle, "i'm so sorry," you shake your head, and then gulp the last of the drink in the hopes that it will provide you with some liquid courage.

"you think I'm ‘pretty hot’?" he asks, his brow furrowed and his tongue protruding from the inside of his cheek. "no..i.." you sigh, removing some of your hair from your face. calum chuckles "no, no. you said it, you think I'm hot," he says in a teasing manner, crossing his arms with a quirked eyebrow.

calum would be lying if he said he didn’t think you were attractive as well. he had been eyeing you all night and figured, why not have some fun?

“what are you doing after this?” he asks, stepping a tad closer to you. now, he was just a few inches from your side and you caught wind of his cologne. you look down at the empty glass again, wondering what you’d say. you knew what he meant, and you had never done anything of the sort.

“well that depends” you answer, looking up from the glass and letting your eyes meet his. “well, i was kinda hoping you’d want to leave here with me” calum suggests with a smirk. you smile, figuring you could let lose for one night. “sounds great.”

it was just one night..right?

your eyelids flutter open, and you immediately feel a piercing pain in your temple. you groan silently and look about until you realize you're not in your bedroom when you peek over your shoulder, you notice a figure.

he was facing you, on his side. his curls were brushed back, his lips were slightly parted, and his arm was resting on your waist.

"oh, shit.." you think as you sit up against his headboard, drawing the loose sheet closer to your chest. your mind is filled with images from the previous night. meeting him, and then their brief talk in the bar. you rubbed your temples, still reeling from what you'd done.

you had slept with calum hood.

you had to get out of there because you couldn't believe what you'd done. you were never the type to do something like that. you attempted to remove the sheet so you could hurry up and put on your clothes from the night before and go home. however, while you were doing so, calum's arm gently tugged on your waist. "stay.."

when you looked at him, his eyes were still closed. you didn't move, feeling frozen as your gaze landed on the arm that framed your waist. you couldnt lie, calum was very attractive.

eventually, you finally managed to break free from his touch, and you threw on your clothing while searching for your phone and handbag. you discreetly opened and closed the door, making your way through the house to the front entrance.

you come to a halt as you pick up your shoes, pondering whether or not to leave your phone number for him. but you tell yourself that you'll never see him again, opening the door and walking out.

you order a lift home and finally check at your phone's alerts. olivia left almost twenty messages and made thirty phone calls. you tell her you're okay and on your way home.

you opened your front door to find olivia racing towards you. "where the hell were you?!" she exclaims, her eyes wide open. you hush her with a "shh," dropping your shoes beside the door. "i texted and called you!" "i know, i know," you remark as you pass by her to your room. "you can't just leave like that!" she exclaims as she follows you.

"olivia.." you sigh and stand in your bathroom, removing the last of your makeup from the night before. "i'm sorry okay, i was drunk and he was right there in front of me." "who?" she asks as she leans against the doorway. "calum.."

there was radio silence for a split second before you glanced to olivia, who erupted. "you slept with calum hood!?!" she exclaims, lunging for your arm. "calum hood?!? the one from five seconds of summer?" you closed your eyes, your head still throbbing, and her ranting only made matters worse. "okay, yes? i was drunk, and he came up to me for a moment...and the following thing led to another..."

"you slept with calum!!!" the ginger laughs as she claps her hands and softly jumps up and down. "oh my god!! my y/n is getting some!" you groan, throwing away the makeup wipe while moving past her. "oh, god. ew!" you exclaim as you enter your bedroom in quest of your pajamas. "tell me everything!" she says as she sits on your bed. "uh..no.." you say as you begin to change.

"just...leave it, im not going to see him again," you say as you brush your hair after changing. "what?! didn't you leave your phone number or something?" "no, olivia, it was just one night," you shake your head. i don't plan to see him again, okay?" you reinstate by placing the brush on the dresser. "ugh, you're no fun!"

"you should be happy about this, you're one step closer to moving on from your asshole ex-boyfriend!" exclaims olivia. you take a step out of your bedroom, looking over your shoulder at your ginger friend. you smile sadly, "i don't think I'll ever be able to get over him."

"we are going to be late!" olivia yells as she tugs you out of bed. "i don't want to go," you protest, but the ginger pushes you into the bathroom. "get yourself ready and meet me outside, okay?" she smiles and goes away.

you sighed as you stood in front of your mirror and went about your business. wash your face, then apply skincare, makeup, hair, and finally your clothes. this consisted of a cropped white shirt, a black skirt, and boots. for the nightlife scene, this was your typical go-to.

you grab a leather jacket and your money on your way out the door to meet with olivia. “great, you're done!" she grins and grabs your arm. "and looking as hot as ever," you sigh, "i wear this every time we go out, olivia. this isn't anything new." you explain, and the two of you start walking up to the bar. "yes, but being single looks good on you... you look happier." she beams. you shrug and continue going, laughing as you say, "whatever you say."

you two arrived at the bar, which was already quite crowded with people you knew, and said your 'hi's and 'hello's' as you walked through the crowd to reach your normal friend group. this was a birthday party for one of your mutual friends; you were invited because you knew a few people there, but you didn't intend to stay long. after only a few drinks, you were dipping.

"hey, i'm going to get a drink, do you want anything?" you ask olivia, who was in the midst of a conversation. "um, no, i'm good for now," the redhead responds softly. you nod and turn around, headed for the bar.

you take a seat on a bar stool and order your usual, then pull out your phone and scroll for a few minutes as you wait for your drink.

"fancy seeing you here," you hear from behind you. when you turn around, a familiar face greets you.

calum hood.

you gaze at him for a time, blinking slowly, wondering why the hell he was at this party in the first place. how did he know your friend group?

"what? like what you see?" he laughs and walks up to the stool next to you. you discreetly giggle, rolling your eyes as you notice your drink in front of you. "you're full of yourself, calum," you say as you sip your drink. "well, you weren't thinking that when you were in my bed a few nights ago, were you?" he says, lifting his eyebrows as he speaks, attempting to elicit a reaction from you.

"oh god.." you mutter. calum follows you as you push yourself off the stool and onto the club floor. "come on, I was joking." when you hear his remarks, you shake your head and spin around to tell him off, but you freeze when you realize how close he is.

calum gazed back at you, his chocolate eyes piercing into yours. the way his wavy hair fell just above his eyes. you couldn't think straight when he was wearing a tight-fitting black t-shirt that emphasized his muscles- or how nice he looked in those black plaid pants.

calum hood was fine, and he knew it.

"you're a jerk," you reply, eventually jerking out of your daydream. as he steps closer, you can smell the tequila dripping from his breath. "oh yeah?" you say, nodding, "yeah." "well, you won't be saying that when you're in my bed again."

as you stare into his eyes, your grasp on your cup tightens. you couldn't take your eyes off him.

"fuck you."

he takes pleasure in your reply and leans in, his face right up against yours, whispering, "maybe later, sweets." then calum walks away, leaving you on the dance floor.

you find yourself back with olivia and your group of friends, scarfing down the drink knowing you needed to be intoxicated for the night ahead of you.

"i saw that," she says, as the two of you sway to the music. "what?" you inquire, attempting to appear clueless. "calum hood, hitting on you!!" she rolls her eyes. she giggles and pokes at your side. "no, it was nothing," you promise, moving her arm away. "whatever you say," she sings.

while you were on the dance floor with your friends, you were pretty intoxicated, and you knew he was watching you. you tried to ignore the sense of his eyes burning holes in the back of your skull. he observed your hips swaying to the music and the way your hair layed against your skin. It was driving him crazy.

flashes of you in his bed, your skin gleaming with sweat, the softness of your lips against his, or the touch of your nails on his back that sent thrills down his spine.

normally, he would never return to someone with whom he had a one-night encounter, but he couldn't get enough of you. he hasn't stopped thinking about you since that night.

you'd had enough of his glances and decided it was time to face him.

"stop" you say as you approach him. he blinks and asks, "what?." you sigh and roll your eyes. "i know you're staring, stop it." calum laughs and sets his drink on the bar. "i don't know what you're talking about, pretty." you sigh and rub your temples. "don't act innocent, i saw you." you say. he shrugs and leans forward. "oh, I'll show you innocent"

"calum, we can't do this," you say, looking him in the eyes. “It was only once." you say, as if attempting to persuade yourself. "oh, yeah?" you cross your arms and nod. "because it seems you don't believe that." calum retorts, his hand coming to rest on your hip.

as he moves in closer, you catch the scent of his cologne combined with the booze on his breath, which sends a shudder down your spine. you see flashes of his figure hanging over you from a few nights before. you couldn't possibly lie to yourself because you think about it every day.

"i know you want me.. i see the way you look at me," he continues. "come on, let's have some fun." his thumb was tracing circles on the fabric of your skirt.

you look into his eyes, your stomach flipping. you didn't want to give in, you didn't want to become someone you weren't. but that was calum fucking hood, and you couldn't resist him when he looked at you like that. "fuck it," you state.

you gaze at the sleeping figure beside you, his breathing calm and steady. you couldn't help but feel bad, so you told yourself you wouldn't hook up with him again. you told yourself you'd never see him again. he was a celebrity, and you were just a city dweller who happened to get caught up with him.

you lie there for a moment, admiring calum. how could someone look so lovely while sleeping? you yank the covers off your legs and frantically dress to leave him yet again.

you collect your shoes at the exit, stand for a moment debating whether or not to leave your number, but you decide not to because this is the last time you'll see him…

right?

from that night forward, you felt like the universe was messing with you because calum appeared to be at every party, club, or bar you went to. he'd approach you as if nothing was going to happen, as if he was teasing you in some way- but it always happened.

those nights, you'd always end up in his bed, never yours.

you couldn't help yourself; no matter how hard you tried to pretend you despised him, you couldn't keep the mask up because you always caved and went home with him.

it became a habit; you'd go out with friends or by yourself, secretly hoping calum would appear in some way.

some nights, you weren't even there to drink, just to be there.

it was the same thing every time: you'd pretend to despise him because a small part of you wanted a serious relationship yet couldn't get enough of him. he made you feel alive. your ex never made you feel that way. the only person who ever made you feel *loved* was calum. you both knew it was only for fun, but it made you wonder if it might ever turn into anything more. you were always silently wishing you had left your phone number all those times, wondering if he would have called or texted you.

plus, you were aware that your friends, particularly olivia, were becoming suspicious. you had recovered quickly from your split following that first night with calum. she knew you’d leave with him at those gatherings but she didn’t stop it because you seemed to be doing better and you were a lot happier.

so far, calum was treating you right. at least, when the two of you were hooking up. so she never made any effort to stop what was happening.

for what felt like the hundredth time, you were back in his bed. instead of looking at him, you've turned your gaze to the ceiling. you know you should leave because it's about noon and you need to get home because you have plans with olivia later that day. you groan, running your hands over your face before getting out of bed and hunting for your clothing, all scattered along the floor.

"since you obviously don't want to stay," he spoke suddenly, causing you to pause in the middle of putting your shirt back on. calum raises up to rest on his elbows as your head spins around. "how about we just agree that this is a no-strings-attached situation," he suggested. you finish putting on your shirt and take your place at the foot of the bed. "calum.." you sigh,rubbing your eyes.

"y/n, just listen and consider it. we can keep doing what we're doing without making any commitments."

you stare at him, his hair was messy, he wasn't wearing a shirt, and you couldn't help but admire his physique. you lean down to grab your shorts, responding while you did so, "i'll think about it," before throwing on the rest of your clothes and leaving his bedroom. as you close the door behind you, you hear him sigh.

your hand was on the doorknob as you stood at the door, but you stopped yourself from opening it. you hated yourself as you reached into your bag for a pen and a random scrap of paper to jot down your phone number. you retrace your steps and leave it on his kitchen island. then you disappear from his home once again.

you unlock your apartment door and walk in, closing it behind you. you enter the kitchen, putting your bag on the counter and grabbing a water bottle.

"where have you been?" you jump out of your skin when you see olivia behind the refrigerator door. "what the hell, olivia!" you exclaim, nearly spilling the bottle. she's standing with her arms crossed with an intense stare. "did you hook up with him again?"

you move out of the kitchen and into your room, closing the fridge. "no, I don't know who you're talking about." you respond, but olivia isn't having it. "stop lying. you were with him last night and the nights before." "so?" you grumble.

"so?!", she exclaimed, you can't tell if she's really mad at you or just acting this way, she repeats. "you're having an fling with a celebrity! you have a habit of hooking up with him. surely something has to be there." she follows you to your room, standing in your doorway as she questions you.

"it's nothing, olivia. we just happen to be at the same location at the same time. okay?" you explain while looking for some clothes to change into.

"i call bullshit. you were never like this, until you met him." she continues, making you sigh. "it's just a distraction, okay?"

"I just...I don't know," you shrug, unable to express your feelings. "i'll meet you later, okay?" you turn away from her.

"actually…i have a date tonight," olivia confessed. "im sorry, but i'll have to cancel." she frowned. "that's fine," you say sympathetically over your shoulder. “have fun, and please text me when you get home, okay?" olivia nods, singing, "i will, love you hot stuff" she passes by you to leave your shared apartment.

you're sitting on your sofa with a container of leftover takeout from a few nights ago after freshening up. olivia had somehow gotten you hooked on a cringe-worthy television show.

you were already two seasons in and couldn't recall a single episode. calum had made your memory fuzzy. you couldn't get him off your mind. you remained curious about what he was doing when you left. did he think of you the way you thought of him? did he ever wonder what you did when he wasn't there? though you convinced yourself you were just being delusional.

…right?

calum glances at the scrap of paper on his kitchen counter, his fingers tapping near his phone, unsure whether to wait to message you. calum was well aware that what he was doing was probably not wise. because, after all, hooking up with you was just for fun, right? so why was it so difficult for him not to think about you? why were you so difficult for him to forget? it was just intended to be once, but now calum thinks about you whenever he gets the chance.

calum sighs, picks up his phone, and starts punching in your phone number. he has no idea what he's doing, but he doesn't stop himself from sending you a message.

- ‘hey, it’s calum’

you're standing in the kitchen right now, washing your hands, when your phone dings. your heart sunk as you looked over and said the message. you swiftly withdraw your hands from the sink, grab a towel, and dry them.

you take out your phone and read his message. You stare at it for a moment, unable to believe he actually messaged you.

-‘hey’

you respond as you stroll over to your sofa and sit on the cushions. you weren't anticipating anything from him because he'd practically established that the two of you were only in it for the fun of it and that was it. no strings attached. you don't hear from him again for the time being.

you're disappointed, but you return your focus to the television, hoping to forget about the singer on your mind.

you haven't heard from olivia in hours; she should've been home by now, but you guess she went to the guy's place she was seeing.

you get up from the sofa and grab your phone; all of your anxiety fades as you open your phone to calums' contact information and call him.

It rang several times before he answered. “hello?”

“hey, calum sorry if i’m bothering you”

“no, you’re good. what’s up?”

“i was just wondering if uh…if you’d want to hang out?”

"what do you have in mind?"

you laugh, "not like that"

you can hear him laugh in amusement, “sorry- yeah, sure. there’s actually this party tonight and i wasn’t going to go since i didn’t have anyone to go with. would you be down for that?”

you pause for a moment, picking at your fingers. “sure! that sounds great” you answer.

“nice, i’ll send you the address to ashton’s place and i’ll meet you there. see you tonight, sweets.”

you arrive at ashton's house, sitting in your car for a few minutes as you ran your options through your head. ‘was this a smart decision? were you planning to do this?’ you groan, taking your phone, and bag then exiting the car, heels clicking as you approached the entrance.

when you opened the door, you were greeted by the smell of alcohol and loud music. you stroll past the crowd near the entryway and start looking for the person you came here to see.

you notice him in the kitchen with his bandmates, he noticed you as well. with a tiny smile on his lips, he motions you over to the group.

"hey," you speak softly now that you're standing close to him. "hi," he greets, unconsciously placing his hand on the small of your back. "guys, i'm not sure if you remember, but this is y/n," he reminds before re-introducing you to the rest of the band.

"are you mark's sister's friend?" michael interjects, you nod. "yeah! i was the one in the blue top that night," you smile, everyone nods in acknowledgment. "well, i'm glad you could make it, if you need anything just let me know." "thank you," you nod nervously, then glance up to calum.

he offers to take you around and introduce you to some people to make you feel more at ease.

"i'm going to get something to drink, you want anything?" you make the offer to calum, who is seated on the sofa, he responds with a simple, "sure." you nod, heading to the kitchen by yourself, leaving calum with his buddies.

"how long have you two been together?" someone seated next to calum asked, he turns to see it was ashton's girlfriend. "oh, no- we aren't together." he responds, but her reply is unexpected. "are you serious?" she asks, calum nods. "no way," she whispered, astonished as she takes a sip from the crimson solo cup. "what?" calum questions.

"there's no way you two aren't together," she says again, "the way you look at her. i'm not sure what the two of you are up to, but you should figure it out," she concludes, chuckling. calum simply stares at her, her attention drawing elsewhere.

he thought about what she said the entire time you were gone. did he actually act that way? did he treat you as though you were his girlfriend? did he look at you in a way that suggested you two were dating? no… you two were just hooking up. nothing else.

he had no idea you were back until you spoke up. "here.." you offer, handing him the drink. calum looks up takes the drink you offered, "thank you sweetheart" "anytime, sugar" you chuckle and go for a seat, but all of them are taken… okay, so you would just stand up for the time being. when calum notices this, he reaches for your waist and pulls you down onto his lap. you look down at him, confused, “what are you doing?” he looks up at you with those eyes.

those big brown eyes that made you feel as if you were on cloud nine. calum looked at you like you were the only girl in the universe.

at least, that’s what you told yourself.

“i’m not just gonna let you stand there.” he answered with a cheeky smile.

people started to leave after a few hours. you were still sitting on calum's lap as everyone else congregated in the living room, talking about whatever and playing drinking games.

you get up from the calum's lap, leaving your drink behind to walk to the restroom down the hall. you approach and knock, hearing someone in there. you stand a few steps away from the door and pull out your phone to pass the time.

after a few minutes, calum finds you. leaning his arms against the wall, effectively caging you between his arms as he stands in front of you. "whatcha doing?" he demands, boxing you in and staring at you. "I'm waiting for the bathroom," you say, glancing up at him.

"you know..." calum pauses, coming in closer. "my house isn't too far from here, and i have a bathroom..so..you can just use it there," you sneer at his offer, "how convenient.." you respond, just above a whisper.

you push yourself off the wall and past calum, leaving him speechless. "where are you going?" he asks, his arms at his sides. "your place. you coming or not?" you grin as you peer over your shoulder.

calum chuckles quietly as he approaches you and wraps his arm around your waist. he was nearly dragging you to the door. "sorry guys, we have to run!" he grabs your bag, carrying it for you before dashing out the door with you.

the others could only chuckle to themselves and smile knowingly as the two of you dashed away.

you're back in his bed, and you know it before you open your eyes. the smell of his bedsheets let you know you were back. the warm vanilla smell invaded your nostrils as you stretched and opened your eyes to find yourself staring at a familiar ceiling. you check over your shoulder for calum's sleeping figure, but he's not there.

you carefully sit up, bringing the sheet along to cover your chest and rubbing your eyes with your other hand. only then do you spew calum standing at the doorway wearing only basketball shorts. "good morning, princess," he says, and you groan, feeling a headache coming on. "i'm making breakfast if you want to stay," he says before walking out the door. you sigh as you get out of his bed and seek for your clothes before leaving his room for the kitchen.

you notice pancakes and fruit on a plate waiting for you. as he stands and consumes his food, you take a seat at the kitchen island. It's quiet for a few minutes before he speaks up.

"so i was thinking.." calum begins. you raise your head to look at him. "i know we said no strings attached but what if we expand the deal?" you lift your brows, confused as to what he was on about. "what do you mean?" you inquire. "at parties, we could be each other's automatic plus one. that way, we won't have to worry about who we go home with." you look up at him, then down at your plate, shifting some of the food about.

"i don't know, calum." you let out a sigh. you want to say yes, and you want to be around him at all times- but you just can’t confess it. "i'm just tired of being ditched by the guys at events, and i wouldn't mind if you were the one to fill that spot," you gaze up, your eyes meeting his. "okay...i'm down," you nod, and calum smiles. "great."

you continue eating as silence fills the room, you don’t really know how to keep a conversation with him since you two only hung out at parties. “when’s your birthday?” he asks. you chuckle, “what happened to no strings attached?” you ask, taking a drink of your water. “well, we can be friends with benefits. friends can know things about each other” he rebuttals. you look at him, finally caving. “y/bd” you answer, calum nods. “that’s coming up” you shrug, “its a couple months. what about you?”

“january 25th” he answers. “happy belated birthday” you reply and he laughs. “so you do have a heart.” you rolls your eyes, “oh whatever.” you can’t help but crack a smile.

calum admires you, how you still manage to look beautiful even in the makeup from the night prior and your hair is a mess. calum wants to be your friend, he wants to know stuff about you other than how you are in bed. he looks down at his plate, knowing he shouldn’t be thinking of you as anything for than his fuck buddy.

“what’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”

you think for a moment, your free hand is now supporting the weight of your chin. “hmm..i’ve always wanted like a big birthday bash.” you answer, “but i just never had the opportunity or people to go with” you add. he nodded, making a mental note.

———

calum proceeds to ask you out every other night, claiming that he doesn't want to be alone. of course, you went, but it simply muddled your sentiments for him. because he made it apparent that you were just friends.

so what was it about him holding your hand at parties that got you so worked up? or when he'd hold your back as you walked through a crowd of people. you'd have to convince yourself to stop staring at him for so long before anyone noticed.

you opted to see someone else on the side in the hopes of sorting out your feelings because the only reason you had feelings for calum was because he was the only person you had been seeing this much, right? furthermore, calum had made it obvious that there were no strings attached.

"hello?" you answer the phone as you go inside your apartment after getting home from work. "hey! "I'm sorry if i'm bothering you," calum says over the phone. "no, i just got home from work. you're fine!”

“how are you?" you ask, placing your keys on the table.

"i was just wondering if you're free tonight?" he inquires. you sigh and open your refrigerator to see if you have any snacks. "um, actually i was going out with a friend tonight…" you speak, and on the other end you hear him sigh, "okay! if your plans fall through, let me know." you smile to yourself, "of course," and it gets silent for a bit as the two of you are at a loss for words, "well, i'll let you get ready then..." "alright...bye..." you say as you pull the phone away from your ear and finish the call.

calum sighs as he tosses his phone to the opposite end of the sofa and rests his head back. he knows that he should not be disappointed; you have your own life, and calum was only a little part of it, just as he had his own life but knowing he wouldn't be able to see you tonight hurt. so, instead of moping about, he decided to ask his bandmates if they wanted to hang out for the night.

however, the night was uneventful; luke had met a girl, michael was conversing with someone, and calum was left alone with ashton.

"isn't that the girl you're seeing?" ashton says unexpectedly, motioning towards you at the bar. calum looks over his shoulder and sees you talking with a guy.

calum is hurt, but he turns around and shrugs as he faces ashton. "we're not seeing each other, i don't like her like that," ashton chuckles as he sips his drink, "sure you don't," calum moans, "mate, cmon.."

“you’re lying to yourself, mate. maybe you don't say you like her, but your eyes say everything." ashton spoke, calum knew it was true. he did like you, but he was unsure if you even considered him more than someone just to hook up with. you had been giving him mixed signals, because one night you were all about him but the next day you wanted nothing to do with him.

calum peers over his shoulder once more, this time observing that the guy that was now touching you, his hand on your leg, inching higher and higher. calum considers ashton's words and walks away from the table he was at towards you.

the way he felt was enough confirmation for his feelings for you. he wanted to be more than just a friend you sleep with. he wants to the be the person you come to during your darkest times, he wants to know your favorite songs, he wants to know your favorite movies, food, candy, animal, he wants to be your person.

“so when were you going to introduce me to your friend?” your head whips around to find calum standing behind the bar stool you sat at. “calum?” you blink before turning back to your date who had now removed his hand from your thigh. “you know him?” the man questions, eyeing calum.

“uh…he’s just my-“ calum cuts you off, “boyfriend” he finishes for you. your eyes go wide looking at calum again, you were about to open your mouth but calum beat you to it. “and we should be heading back now” he reaches for your waist, grabbing your purse and escorting you out of the bar.

"what the hell!?" you yell outside the bar, shoving him away from you. "you can't do that, calum! we're not exclusive, we are not dating; we're just friends who occasionally hook up" you hear calum chuckle and it sends you over the edge.

you huff and begin to walk away, but calum follows you and drapes his arm over your shoulder.

"youre mine and i don't share"

"where are you taking me?" calum walks next to you, instinctively leading you to his car. "home," he says, unlocking his car door and allowing you to enter before closing it and walking to the driver's side.

within a few minutes, you realize he's heading in the opposite way. "calum this isn't the way to to my place" you're saying. "I know," he replies, looking over at you. "i never said which home"

‘get ready, im coming over’

calum takes out his phone. he thinks nothing of the message you just sent him, presuming you're coming over to visit him. however, when you came and kept honking the car horn for him to come outside he was a bit thrown off.

when calum walks outside, he puts his phone and wallet in his pocket while walking over to your car. as you roll down your window, he leans in. "get in, we're going shopping," you say, music still playing and a smile on your face.

"why exactly do you need me for this?" calum inquires, his brow furrowed. you reply, "well considering you'll be the one taking it off i figured you might want to help me pick out something" while grinning. despite his flushed cheeks, calum takes a step back, unlocks the car door, and hops inside.

you took calum to the mall and modeled for nearly two hours while looking for the right outfit for your birthday. it had been two hours of no success until one of the last stores you visited had this leather skirt you had been eyeing for a while.

calum couldn't take his eyes off of your body when you emerged from the dressing room. both the halter top you chose and the skirt perfectly complemented one other. you drawled, "sooo?" hoping for a positive response. he answers right away, "yes." when you looked down at yourself, he speaks up again. “that’s the one, you have to get it.” and you couldn't help but laugh. you nod and examine yourself in the mirror before returning to the dressing room to change into your clothing so you could check out.

you happen to pass a leather jacket on your way to the register. and it just so happens to go well with the skirt. additionally, you observe that calum is examining it longer than anything else you have so added in the store. you made the choice to pick it up, do your best to estimate his size, and continue moving forward to pay.

on the way back to your place you pick up takeout since it was getting late in the evening and you both were starving.

when the two of your arrive home, you get comfortable on the sofa and begin picking out a movie while calum is in the kitchen sorting out the food before bringing it all into the living room. you picked out a movie and the two of you eat in peace, enjoying each others company.

afterwards, you had started cleaning up all the empty containers and throwing it away with the help of calum.

“will you put the skirt on again? i forgot what it looks like” calums asks and you laughed, looking over your shoulder. “seriously?” he nods. you pause for a moment before rolling your eyes and sigh, “fine.”

you walk out of your bedroom in the skirt but you hid something behind your back, looking a bit shy. which was unusual because you never acted like this around calum, so he knew something was up. “y/n, what’s behind your back?” he asks in a teasing tone and you begin walking towards him slowly. “okay, so, don’t be mad but i may have picked you up something too..”

she grins bringing the jacket from behind her and handing it towards him.

“i—y/n/n please tell me you didn’t buy this leather jacket for me” you take a few steps forward. “i’ve never heard you say please before. this is new.” you say, smirking. calums rolls his eyes but he can’t help but smile and you continue, “but yes i did. i saw you eyeing it so i grabbed it”

he tries to hide his smile. “well go on, put it on” you help him into the jacket and it’s then when he notices. “did you get this so we could match?” he says laughing. “no i absolutely did not! i just wanted to do something nice for you” he quickly responds “you didn’t have to go through the trouble of getting more clothes sweetheart. taking some off would’ve had the same effect” he chuckles. you playfully hit his chest and say “you’re insufferable.” you look away but then looks back smiling.

“but yeah maybe i wanted us to match a little bit. sue me” he grabs your waist and pulls your closer, you feel his thumb drawing circles on your exposed skin and it sends shivers down your spine. “well i certainly appreciate the thought, sweets. now we just need an occasion to show up everyone” calum teases, leaning in. his lips only inches from yours, you feel your cheeks warm up. “calum..” you warn but he continues to close the space between the two of you. “it’s just one kiss..”

you hate your birthday, it was the one day of the year you always found yourself to be the most miserable despite having people who loved you around. you still felt so unhappy.

“y/n, are you ready? you can’t be late to your own party!” olivia calls out from the living room. you exit your bedroom, meeting her in the room. “i’m ready, im ready” you say, throwing your bag on your shoulder. “y/n..” you hear olivia sigh, she takes a few steps towards you and puts her hands on your shoulder.

“lighten up. i know you hate your birthday but this year im not

letting you be miserable. kay?” she gently shakes you enough for you to crack a smile and nod, “good” she says, linking her arm with yours.

“now let’s go before people think you bailed your own birthday party.”

the two of you arrive to the same club where you had first met calum yet this time, the atmosphere was different.

no purple, pink, or red lights. no promotional posters in the windows. instead, you see white paper decorations and warm fairy lights.

you enter the bar in front of olivia and hear a loud uproar of people cheering as you did and some people even popping confetti. you couldn’t help but laugh as you walked through the crowd, seeing all of your close friends standing around celebrating you.

olivia was also giddy, knowing she had planned this whole thing along with calum.

“you guys didn’t have to do this!” you said over the music after you saw the cake sitting in the middle of the room, you’re beaming with joy. for the first time in a long time you were excited to be celebrating your birthday.

you spent time greeting people and thanking them.

some of these people you haven’t seen in years and it made you feel like things were finally getting better.

just as you were about to catch up with some old friends, the lights dimmed and you heard some light strumming from the nearby stage.

you look over seeing four familiar figures underneath the red stage lights.

“hello everyone,” luke begins, adjusting the mic. “if you all don’t know, we are five seconds of summer” the crowd roars at the name drop and some people are playfully hitting your shoulder not knowing your tied with the band.

“we just wanted to say we are truly honored to be back at the place we showcased our recent album, and of course to celebrate the birthday girls special day.” .

“so, happy birthday, y/n. we hope you have a wonderful year.” luke beamed.

the set was at least forty-five minutes long, they had played mostly their new stuff off the youngblood album but dropped in a few older songs.

you were over the moon.

to say you had five seconds of summer perform at your birthday party? that’s huge.

you never thought you’d end up in this position.

to say you had personal connections to people as big as calum, or even the whole band for that matter.

tonight was a night you’d definitely never forget.

standing outside the club, you watch the people inside dance and get lost in each other. the whole scene was almost melancholy- the way everyone was there to celebrate you. the night was near ending and you felt so cramped in there, you thought you'd spend the last few hours of your birthday catching your breath.

"hey you" calum voice interrupts your thoughts, a cigarette between his fingers as he watches you from a close enough distance. you furrow your brows, "didn't know you smoked"

he quickly flicks it to the floor, stepping on it a few times before picking up the trash.

"Is it a turn off?"

"no no i just didn't know" you shrug and look back up at the sky, "i don't think i know anything about you aside from you're good in bed and you like whiskey" he chuckles now, stepping closer to you and placing his hands on your waist.

"well, ask me anything you want"

you watch as he looks away for a moment, searching for the perfect question.

"if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

your eyes don't leave the sky as you think, long and hard about the question. "i’d love to see paris... it's been my dream since i was a child."

you could feel his hands loosen from your waist, he steps infront of you and stared down at your face with a smile. It's almost like he's thinking of what to do or what to say next.

“paris?” he repeats.

you nod, tilting your head to the side, studying him. "what about you?"

calum had now completely removed his arm from your waist as he leans down to rest his elbows on the metal railing.

“considering i’ve toured around the world, ive been to plenty of amazing places” he says, looking back to see if you were looking at him.

“i don’t have just one, too many places, not enough time to explore” he answered.

you nod, looking away towards the city. the nightlife in downtown los angeles was a lot lively than normal.

probably because your birthday fell on a friday this year, so all of the bars were jam packed and faint music flooded the streets.

you inhale, about to say something as your turn your attention back towards the brunette.

“y/n! cmon!” olivia grabs your wrist pulling you inside and away from calum, towards the large cake so you could blow out the candles.

“come on birthday girl, make a wish!” olivia cheers along with everyone standing around. you laugh, “okay okay!”. you blow out the candles and everyone begins to cheer. olivia hugs your side and giggles, “what did you wish for?” she asks. you grin petting her head, “if i tell you it won’t come true, will it?” your eyes flicker between calum and olivia as you speak.

you hear olivia groan in annoyance. someone amongst the crowd, you guess ashton, you could recognize that arm anywhere, points to the cake and says, "birthday girl gets first pick!"

you finally see his figure merge from behind someone with a plastic plate and knife. "what piece does my girl want?" ashton continues.

you examine the cake once more and point to a corner piece smothered in the purple icing with a kiddish like grin on your face. ashton's nods and begins to cut you a piece.

as it nears the end of the night and the bar slowly begins to empty out, you've found yourself at the bar watching everyone says their goodbye and share a hug with you before leaving the building.

the music was faintly playing now, compared to when you had arrived eariler.

solo cups trashed the floor, paper plates and napkins scattered the bar table. you look down at the glass setting in front of you as you swirl around the liquid contents. you didn’t even notice calum approaching.

“how was your birthday?” he hums, sitting next to you.

“good” you smile, resting your head on your hand. “tonight was good. you did great on stage.”

“yeah?” calum raises his eyebrows, you see a playful smirk forming on his lips. “mhm, very rockstar.”

calum laughs at your comment and then the two of you fall silent, watching as some people begin cleaning up the mess.

“can i talk to you?” calum questions, turning his focus back to you.

you nod, “yeah, of course”

“in private.” he adds.

you raise your eyebrows , wondering what he needs to say that he can’t in front of your friends.

“sure”

calum takes your hand and leads you towards the back door, which you had no idea was back here.

when he opens it, you see a patio with a string of fairy lights surrounding the area.

“you’re going to think i was stalking you or something, but this just happened by chance. i swear.” calum stands you in front of him as he reaches in his back pocket and hands you a plane ticket.

“we’ll be in paris on the first leg of our tour and i had an extra ticket.” he stated. you look up at him wide eyed, then do a double take to make sure you were seeing it right. “calum..what? i…i just i can’t just-“

“i want you there.” he adds.

“i want you in paris with me, hell- i want you on the whole tour with me. please, take it” he offers it to you again, making you take it.

“oh my god” you mutter, looking down at the ticket now in your hand.

“the flight is in two days, i know it’s hella last minute but i figured its now or never” calum speaks softly.

you’re still at a loss for words, your body working faster than your mind as your wrap your arms around calums figure. “thank you so much” you say into his shoulder.

“anytime” he hums, hugging you back.

“cmon cal! we gotta head back.” michael can be heard from the bar.

the australian pulls away and offers a warm smile, “see you in paris..” he says and walks off. “bye..”

you’re quick to whip your phone out and text olivia before heading back to your apartment partment

“youll never believe what just happened”

“is this a good or bad thing”

“uhh good? i think? i hope so”

“well dont leave me in the dark what happened”

“calum gave me a ticket to paris” “WHAT, Y/N THATS HUGE. are you gonna go”

“i mean, id feel bad if i didnt. i hate how easy it is for me to like him.”

“we’re so having a debriefing when you get home.”

the plane ride was long and tiresome, eleven hours of being so uncomfortable in the seats and having someone next to you who had no regard for personal space. plus, you just hated planes in general.

but once the plane landed, you felt a wave of relief and soon enough you were off the plane and navigating your way through the foreign airport.

once you get to baggage claim you wait for your luggage and once you have it, you begin looking around for a familiar person.

you round a corner and finally see the one you had been searching for. “there’s my pretty girl” calum says, as his eyes lands on you as he makes his way towards you.

“i look awful calum” you laugh as his arms wrap around you tightly. “no such thing” he says into your hair before pulling away. “how was the flight?” he adds, taking your luggage from your hand then linking his free hand with yours while leading you out of the airport.

“long” you laugh tiredly, as you watch him load your bags into the back of the car.

the uber back to the hotel that calum was staying at was nice, being able to see nice scenery before you’d sleep for the next twelve hours.

the plan was, you’d sleep for as long as you could until calums show tomorrow, then hopefully, you’d be well rested and enjoy his concert and have a few days in the city to spend with him.

still only as friends..right?

while you start unpacking, calum was helping. “when are you going to sleep?” he asks, taking your now empty suitcase and putting it next to his as you were folding and putting the clothes in the dresser. “probably when i get done here.” you say closing the drawer to the dresser.

“no, you’re not” calum says, causing you to stop and turn to him. “what?” you blurt, harsher than you wanted. “what do you mean ‘no’”.

“i mean no because i’m taking you out tonight.” “calum” you try to interject but he doesn’t let you. “were going out tonight, no ands, ifs,or buts. kay?” he says, walking towards you. “and be sure to wear that skirt, you look good in it.” he whispers into your ear.

“what skirt?” you ask, trying to act oblivious.

calum scoffs a little, “you know the one.”

you finish swiping the last bit of mascara onto your lashes and close the tube, then check yourself in the mirror once more wanting to make sure you outfit was good enough.

“you done?” you hear calum voice ring the hotel room into the bathroom. “yeah!” you yell back and grab your lipstick, touching up your lips before throwing it and a gloss in your bag and exit the bathroom .

“you look great” calum grins, walking towards you. his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you closer. you grin, taking notice just how good he looks in leather jacket. “so do you, mr.rockstar.” “yeah?” he smiles, you nod. “yeah. you ready?” you ask. “yep let me get my wallet”

the night was nearing an end, you walked down the street next to calum, luke and sierra followed behind the two of you. calum had taken you all over the city, to nice cafes, his favorite spots from the last time he visited, and a museum. it was truly a wonderful day in the city of love.

the four of your turn a corner and suddenly you’re shocked by the bright dazzling lights of the eiffel tower.

you’re starstruck, you must’ve stopped in your tracks became calum looks back at you, “you comin’?” he grins, holding out his hand for you to take.

you felt like a kid in a candy store as you approached the structure. it felt like something out of a dream. you weren’t sure why you loved the idea of being in paris, but you were here now. standing in front of the famous landmark in the world, it was so beautiful you could cry.

“wow..” you speak breathlessly. the twinkling lights reflected in your eyes, the way it stood out against the dark sky, it felt like the most magical thing you had ever seen.

you’re quick to take your phone out and snap a couple pictures, not wanting to forget this moment. it would be something you would talk about forever.

“hey y/n-“ sierra taps your shoulder. your spin around and face the girl, “mm?”

“care to take a pic of me and luke?”

“sure!” you take the phone from sierra as the couple poses in front of the sight. “i’ll take a couple so pose however you want” you smile and begin snapping pictures of the two.

luke and sierra were a good couple, they complimented each other very well. and from what you’ve seen of sierra she was a good friend and good girlfriend to luke.

“check those, make sure you like them” you hand the phone back to sierra so she can check them.

“perfect! thank you so much!” sierra beams looking at the photos then up at you.

“do you want some with calum?” she asks.

you look over at calum who was already looking at you. “um, sure!” you hand your phone to sierra.

you and calum stand next to each other and let sierra snap a couple pictures together. luke is standing behind sierra watching as she makes sure to get all the angles.

“beautiful!” she exclaims with a wide grin as she hands your phone back to you so you could check the pictures.

you swipe through the pictures awhile calum looks over your shoulder.

“god damn” the australian begins, “we look good together.”

and it was true. you did look good together. maybe you could picture being with him more than his ‘friend’.

your eyes flutter open to the soft rays of the sun peeking in through the sheer white curtains of the hotel room. “morning, pretty” you hear calum say causing you to look over your shoulder where he sat on the opposite side of the bed.

you groan quietly, rubbing your eyes as you slowly sit up to lean against the headboard. “mornin” you reply followed by a yawn. “what time is it?” “noon” calum answers, turning off his phone. “damn” you reply knowing you’ve slept almost a whole day. “sorry” you say but calum shakes his head, “don’t apologize, you needed the rest. plus, you’ll be well rested for tonight” he grins, you shake your head and playfully push his shoulder.

“what’s on the agenda for today?” you yawn again, and calum leans back on the headboard. “well, we have to be at the venue at two and soundcheck is at three”. he says, checking his phone for the time.

“good, gives me plenty of time to get ready” you say, reaching for your phone. “do you want to leave with me or do you wanna just come whenever you’re done?” you shrug thinking about how long it’ll take you to get ready. “i might just uber after i’m done that way i don’t have to rush.” you start, ripping the cover off of your legs. “plus it’ll give me enough time to make sure i look good for you tonight.” you say with a grin before getting out of the bed and making your way to the bathroom.

calum laughs before calling out to you “you’re a tease, you know that?” you smile to yourself using water for your shower. “always!” you holler back.

you’re sat in the back of an uber staring out the back passenger window. the venue isn’t very far from the hotel so the ride wasn’t too bad. when you arrived you saw the line of fans outside all waiting in queue you smiled to yourself, feeling proud of the band, and calum.

you step out of the vehicle and walked around like a lost puppy trying to look for olivia’s brother, mark.

you take the time to see everyone waiting in line dressed in their best and looking beautiful.

“oh thank god” you start, spotting the blonde man. “y/n! you made it!” mark smiles, pulling you in for a hug.

“yeah, thank god, i almost got lost.” mark nods and begins leading you down a long corridor until reaching the dressing rooms. “i figured you’re here for calum?” you look up, staring at him for a moment before blinking. “that obvious huh?” mark laughs, then hands you a vip laminated lanyard. “keep this on you, have fun and enjoy the show.” he adds as he pats your shoulder.

you watch as he walks away, taking a deep breath as you open the door peeking your head in. you see the guys spread out in the room until calum looks up from his phone to greet you.

“its about time you got here, i was about to worry.” he says, now pulling you into their dressing room. his tan arms wrap around your figure and you get a whiff of his cologne.

he keeps you close to your side as the other guys come up to greet you. “was it hard to find?” calum inquires, you shrug, “i walked around the building until i eventually found mark and now im here” you laugh. “probably a little late, traffic was crazy”

calum smiles, “all good, at least you’re here now. that’s all that matters.” he says, slinging his arm over your shoulders.

“all right guys, they’re all ready for you” some stage manager, you had to guess, said as they popped their head in the door.

you separate from calum as he fixed his in-ear-piece and grabs his bass. you smile at him and give him a thumbs up and watch as he followed behind the other three.

“are you sierra and y/n?” and woman enters the room, her dirty blonde hair was cut to about her shoulders but it was obviously growing out. she had a welcoming smile and comforting aura. the two of you nod. “perfect, i’m hannah i can take you guys to your seats!” she beams and then the two of you follow her out into the arena where she showed where the two of you would be at.

side of the pit, calums side, so it was actually perfect for you. “are you guys going to be on the rest of the tour?”

“i will” sierra smiles. then hannah turns towards you.

“oh, i don’t know yet” you laugh, taking a swig of your drink.

“well, i’ll be on the tour with the guys so if you every need anything just look for me.” she smiles again. “enjoy the show!”

it was incredible to see, they were truly in their element. each of the acting as if they were born to be on stage.

“wow!” michael hollers about midway through their performance, taking a small break in between songs. luke is still strumming quietly in the background. “paris, how the fuck are we feeling?!” the crowd erupts in loud cheers.

“it’s great to be back after so long” he continues, then takes a glance at his band mates. “how are you all liking paris?”

“good, i love it here” luke answers, earning a few hollers from the crowd.

“how you liking paris, cal?”

“what about the view here? it’s such a beautiful place” luke interjects.

“you seen anything nice lately, calum?” luke continues

“yup, the views in my hotel room are amazing.”

your heart stopped, it was subtle. just enough for only you to notice. he was definitely mentioning you.

“do you mean from?” luke chimes.

you can faintly see calum smile as he laughs into the mic, “yup, my bad.”

“alrighty then.” michael pauses, luke had taken a few steps back from the mic but could still be been laughing.

“then how about you introduce the next song?”

“the next song is for all those who end up meeting someone and know it won’t be more than just having fun. and they’re okay with that. talk fast.”

you wondered what it looked like from their perspective. you turn to face the crowd and you’re overwhelmed with what you see. people screaming their lungs out to the lyrics, some dancing with their friends, you even see some people crying. you also see some signs. some more creative than others, and some sweeter than others.

you manage to spot one that made you a little uncomfortable; “call me red with the way i be riding hood”

sure, clever, but it made you realize that if you had a shot with calum, what’s stopping him from hooking up with any other fan when you’re not around?

shit.

maybe you did like him more than just a fuck buddy.

during the next intermission you and sierra had made some small talk until you overheard some girls next to you in the pit talking about calum.

“oh i’d totally fuck him.” she says nonchalantly. “i bet you i could easily pull him by the end of the night, i just need to find my way in.” she giggles.

you shift on your feet and turn to sierra who also heard it. “welcome to my life..” she raises her eyebrows then take a sip of her drink.

you sit in silence on the uber ride back to the hotel. calum sat to your right, you knew he was looking at you and he wanted to ask what was wrong.

did you have a bad night?

was the show bad?

the whole way back to the hotel you hadn’t spoken one word to him. you didn’t even look at him.

why did you feel like this?

calum wasn’t even yours. you had no valid reason to be angry.

except you did.

you were afraid that he would want someone else, that you were easily replaceable. you couldn’t deal with that, you couldn’t go through another heartbreak.

you should’ve known that messing with him would’ve lead to this, but you were naïve and wanted something to distract you from your ex boyfriend.

your feet seem to have a mind of their own as you storm past calum and out into the freezing cold.

"y/n/n, cmon don't be this way", he laughs innocently while pacing himself behind you.

you don’t say anything except press the elevator button and wait impatiently for the doors to open. you really couldn’t tell anyone why you were being so stubborn, hell, you didn’t even know why.

once the doors opened you were quick to slip in and press the button to your floor. you stand with your arms crossed, staring blankly at the metal. doors. you were quietly wishing he would say something, anything at all.

“y/n?” he tries reaching for your arm but you shrug him off. “not in the mood cal.” you reply. you knew you were being stubborn and very annoying.

he hasn’t given you a reason to act this way towards him.

you knew you were overreacting. plain and simple.

*ding*

the elevator doors opened and you walk through the hallway towards your bedroom. you scan the keycard and open the door letting calum follow behind you like a lost puppy.

you throw your purse on the bed and take your jacket off. “y/n. please.” you hear him sigh. calum feels guilty and he doesn’t even know what the hell he did. but whatever it was he was going to fix it. he couldn’t take you being mad at him like that.

“why dont you go bother someone else, looked like there was plenty that would love to be in your bed” you hiss, the words spilling from your lips like venom.

calum stops in his tracks, also removing the leather jacket from his shoulders and tossing it on the bed. “what?” he asks, dumbfounded.

“don’t play dumb, cal.”

“i don’t know what you mean, y/n.” he bites back.

“i mean, if you can sleep around with me what’s stopping you from sleeping with your fans?” you confess.

calum just stares at you, “what? what are you talking about?” the bassist was genuinely confused, you had never reacted, at least, not when he was around.

“the people at the show, cal. the signs, their outfits, the way they talk about you-“

calum cuts you off, “look, i don’t know where this is coming from or why you’re acting like this but-“

“i’m acting like this because it was never just about being friends with benefits calum!” you confess, staring at him intently. “i can’t keep acting like im okay with not being able to love you. i don’t want to be hurt again. not by you”

everything came spewing out of you like a waterfall. all the months of pent up frustration and confusion had finally found its way into the world.

you were so frustrated you didn’t even realize what you had said, you turn to look out the window and stare at the lights from the city.

calum doesn’t say anything, racking his brain to make sure he heard you right. you said you loved him, without really even saying the three words.

“you said you love me.”

you look over at him, “what?”

“you just said you ‘can’t keep acting like you don’t love me’.” he repeats.

you shake your head and look away from him. “i didn’t.” you try to get him to leave it alone.

“you did” he sighs, coming next to you and takes you by the shoulders and turns you to face him. “you practically said you love me.”

“calum-“

“i love you too.” he smiled. “i don’t know if that means anything now but i do. i have for a while.” he confessed.

“y/n, you’re nothing like i imagined you would be. when i met you that night in the bar i thought you’d be like all the other girls, which i know doesn’t help, but; this has been the best past year of my life and i think of you more than someone i fuck occasionally.” calum is looking into your eyes. “you’re more than that, y/n/n.”

there are tears welling in your eyes, you shake your head. “i don’t want to be hurt again. i don’t think i could take it.” calum nods, reaching for your hands.

“i understand, but trust me when i say that id never do anything to hurt you, okay?” calum assures, “you’re everything and more.”

*buzz*

*buzz buzz*

you groan and reach for your phone, opening one eye to look at the notifications. you have over ten messages and five calls from olivia. you sigh, wanting to ignore her antics but maybe it was an emergency. you unlock your phone and see all the messages.

‘girl check instagram.’

‘what time is it there’s

‘are you asleep?’

‘omg omg y/n!!!!’

‘you’re not gonna believe this.’

‘girl i’m freaking out !!!!!’

‘y/n please check your instagram.

‘you’re gonna flip.’

‘ please wake up.’

‘i’m calling you’

you sit up in confusion and then check your other notifications to see over hundreds of notifications from instagram. “what the hell” you croak and then open the app.

‘calumhood tagged you in a post.’

you swipe through the pictures until you see the very last picture which was you standing in front of the eiffel tower with your back turned to him admiring the view and then you saw the caption; “they say paris is the city of love <3”

you practically shoot up from your position staring wide eyed at the phone. you read some of the comments in a panic.

‘lukehemmings: it’s about damn time’

ashtonirwin: finally! don’t hurt my girl;)

calumhood replying to ashtonirwin: your girl?

ashtonirwin replying to calumhood: yep:)

michaelclifford: called it!

sierradeaton: you posted the pic !! omg !!!

5sos_updates: the last slide omg!?!? also last night was crazy!

iheartcalumhood: who’s the girl?

“calum??” you say out, hoping he was still in the room.

you hear the bathroom door open. “yeah?” he asks walking around the corner only dressed in a pair of basketball shorts.

“why did you post that?” you ask showing him the instagram post. “i wanted to prove to you that everything i said last night is true”

you blink, staring at him with little to no expression. “your first thought to do that was post me on your instagram?”

“uhh i guess? should i not have done that?” you crack a smile and look down at your phone, “i cant believe you, cal.” you say, falling back on the bed to scroll through more comments.

“can’t go back on it now” he says, standing at the foot at the bed.

“you’re stuck with me forever” he says crawling on the bed, hovering over your figure. “really? because ashton said i was his girl. sounds like you have some competition, hood.” you state, showing calum his comment.

he takes your phone and tosses it somewhere else on the bed. “nope, you’re my girl forever and always.” he hums leaning in to leave kisses on your neck which earned giggles from you. “calum!”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not defending an ex-friend when people called her a slut?

I (20 f) fell out with my best friend and roommate M (20 f) at the end of sophomore year of college. reason we fell out isn't the main subject of this post but I think it's relevant so I'll try and keep it as brief as possible.

For context I'm Black attending a VERY white school. Frenshman year I was the only black girl in my building and this was just post-covid so student groups were pretty dead. So first trimester most of my college friends were the girls from my floor including M (white) and S (20f, asian american). It was very isolating tbh, esp bc I experienced a lot of microaggressions, but the girls I befriended were pretty good at sharing my outrage and letting me confide in them.

The worst incident was when at a party, a guy (G, white) made some very racist comments towards me and in general (said the n-word a few times). I admit I escalated it by engaging w him and the whole thing got out of hand, a lot of people saw, and he got a reputation as a racist. Afterwards, he was always rude to me, blaming me for egging him on while drunk and just constantly making disrespectful comments about me and my 'attitude' where i could hear. no one ever said anything to his face but were supportive of me after the fact - S was always particularly supportive and said she could relate.

I was generally fine with avoiding G esp in sophomore year when we moved out. I lived with M and another friend (P) and it went pretty well. We were asked in like November if we would renew our lease, and though M and I wanted to the third friend didn't, so we began to think of replacements, and S was looking for a place.

Thing is, while S and I were still on good terms I felt like she was being a bit secretive w me. She'd often come over and talk privately w M and I got the gist she was seeing someone and didn't want me to know. I shook it off as us growing apart and the fact I'd gotten more involved in Black student groups and hadn't hung around with our dorm friends as much, but then in Jan, as we were planning to sign the new lease, I found out she was dating G. Tbh at this point we weren't even close friends that I felt a strong personal betrayal, but more so I was mad at them both for not telling me while making plans for us to live together. They knew I was uncomfortable around G and wouldn't want to live w his gf, esp without knowing. It felt like they were almost purposefully going behind my back.

I didn't do anything at the time, just slowly backed out of the lease renewal and made other arrangements. I stopped hanging out with S almost completely and was just cordial w her and took a big step back from M and our dorm friends.

The other relevant bit of context here is M had a boyfriend (T, 20 m) who was in our freshman dorm and very close to our year one friends (lived with them sophomore year and now junior year too). She broke up w him in Feb, which led to a lot of her friendships w our dorm friends (her only friends really) to deteriorate a bit, esp as she was no longer super comfy hanging around where he was. this especially became an issue in the spring trimester bc she got a new boyfriend over the break, a friend from her classes T hadn't liked.

So, M kept pressuring me to hang out w her and our dorm friends a lot more, which inevitably meant seeing S and now G, who they'd all decided they were cool being around when I distanced myself. I told her why i didn't want to and I didn't want to see G again but she promised he had 'changed' and wouldn't say anything to me. eventually I folded and went out w them all once and it honestly sucked. M completely abandoned me to be w her other friends, G didn't say anything but kept glaring at me the whole time, and I felt very out of place. afterwards I told M i was sorry, I know she felt awkward around her ex without me, but I wouldn't do that again.

She left it till like the end of the year then there was a big dinner she really wanted to go to that T would be at (her bf was not invited), w all our dorm friends. I kept saying I wouldn't go, but then she told me she checked w the hosts and confirmed (and promised) G wouldn't be coming. I said okay but asked we sit next to each other and made it clear how I felt around S etc, and she agreed and promised we would. Long story short G was there, I wound up next to S and across from him snickering at me the whole time, with her on the other end of the table. I texted M about it, she said it was 'fine' and I was imagining it and to try and enjoy the gathering.. yeah no. I dipped before desert, she chased me outside asking what was up and I explained why i was upset, she said i can't expect her to be there for me the whole night and she's allowed to 'have a good night without my drama,' i said racism wasn't drama and she literally dragged me along to deal with her drama, nevermind my comfort, and that she was an incredibly selfish friend for putting me in this position. I left, she wound up crying with everyone comforting her, everyone there (M included) went off at me for being an unsupportive friend/dredging up year old drama with G/overall making everything about race, I cut them all off and moved my stuff into my girlfriend's place a week after all this and didn't speak to anyone since.

which is pretty much all the backstory (longer than the main bit, sorry), that gets us to the actual AITA situation. Junior year starts, I'm at a welcome back party w some other friends and i'm vaguely aware my old dorm friends (including S and G) are also here, but it's a huge party and i'm w my very supportive friends who ik will back me if anything happens so i dont really care. eventually M arrives w her bf, gives me an awkward look but doesn't say anything to me.

Then at some point, I'm upstairs using the bathroom and I hear the girls from our dorm group speaking to M in the hallway. Apparently it came out over summer she'd hooked up w her new boyfriend before she ended things with T and they were all pissed at her (esp for her playing the victim w her ex). I tried to stay in the bathroom until the conversation ended but someone was pounding on the door and I wound up having to get out and waddle past them awkwardly to get back downstairs. When I got out one of the girls was calling M a slut and other names and while i tried to avoid it I accidentally made eye contact with M, who was super upset and crying. I kinda just shrugged and went downstairs.

Later that night i got a long ass message from her new bf about how he knows I'm upset with her but it wasn't fair for me to just leave her in that situation, and that it was petty and selfish of me (esp bc I'm usually the person calling out this shit). I spoke to my gf, and she said she understands why i did nothing but also that it's never okay for people to call someone a slut. I agree with that 100% and in any other case i might have tried to diffuse the situation (like if it was safe and I thought I could). I've told a couple friends who think I did nothing wrong and it wasn't fair to expect me to say smth when she never said/did anything to defend me and that she had it coming, but my mom told me I should've done the kind thing and not stoop to their level and it's made me feel really bad. I think I might be TA bc i could have stood up for her without anything bad happening to me beyond being in an uncomfortable convo, and also bc it kinda felt good seeing her friends turn on her? Like she threw me under the bus to be in their good books and defend them and they dropped her ass anyway, and if I acted from a vengeful place then thats asshole-y of me. but also no one in this story has apologised to me once and as my friend says its not fair to rely on black ppl to fix racist white ppls mess.

so, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[elalmacen-rp]

Lista oficial de prompts del Codember 2024

ESP: Y vamos a por el sexto año consecutivo del Codember en El Almacén. Las normas este año son las mismas que en años pasados. El Codember empezará el día 1 de Noviembre. Cada creación en relación a la(s) palabra(s) de inspiración se recomienda que se publique en los días señalados, pero si te atrasas, no te apures. Hasta que termine 2024 las creaciones podrán seguir posteadas; una vez pasemos a 2025, se hará el conteo y se añadirá a la lista oficial.

Puedes encontrar la lista en texto bajo el cut, tanto en español como en inglés, y puedes encontrar la imagen en tamaño completo aquí. Podéis ser todavía participantes oficiales si nos mandáis un ask para que os apuntemos con vuestro respectivo tag. Una vez empiece el Codember, tendréis que esperar al conteo de final de año para que os añadamos. También contamos con separadores oficiales, que podéis encontrar aquí.

ENG: And here we go for the sixth consecutive year of the Codember Challenge. The rules this year are the same as the last few events. Codember2024 will begin 1st of November. Each of the creations in relation to the word(s) of inspiration should be posted in the suggested dates, but if you fall behind, don’t fret. You can still post your creations until the end of the year- when we enter 2025, we’ll update the list with the full counter of each participant in our official list.

You can find the list in text form under the cut, in Spanish and English, and you can also find the full size image in English here. You can still be an official participant of Codember if you forward us the tag you’ll be using on your blog for it. But as soon as Codember starts, you’ll have to wait for the final count to be added to the list. We also have official dividers- you can find them here.

LISTA DE PARTICIPANTES | TAG GENERAL | TAG DE UPDATES

Versión en español:

- Taggeanos en @elalmacen-rp para darle reblog a tu post.

- Cada palabra cubre dos días de Noviembre. Puedes saltarte números pero no desordenarlos o adelantarte.

- No hace falta apuntarse para participar. Puedes formar parte de la lista oficial mandándonos un ask.

- Puedes participar con códigos, gráficos, escritos o lo que te apetezca crear.

- No pasa nada si te retrasas, simplemente ve posteando tus creaciones a medida que las tengas.

- Aplica la palabra como quieras, ¡es sólo inspiración!

01/02. Fragmento.

03/04. Susurro.

05/06. Ascuas.

07/08. Pulso.

09/10. Velo.

11/12. Mosaico.

13/14. Ancla.

15/16. Destello.

17/18. Órbita.

19/20. Puntada.

21/22. Eclipse.

23/24. Eco.

25/26. Cuna.

27/28. Huracán.

29/30. Rocío.

English version:

- Tag us at @elalmacen-rp so we can reblog your post.

- Every word covers two days of November. You can skip prompts but you can’t reorder them or get ahead.

- There is no need to join a list to participate. You can however join the official list sending us an ask.

- You can participate with codes, graphics, writting pieces or anything you wish to create.

- Don’t worry if you fall behind, just keep posting your creations as you make them.

- Use the word however you’d like, it’s only inspiration!

01/02. Fragment.

03/04. Whisper.

05/06. Embers.

07/08. Pulse.

09/10. Veil.

11/12. Mosaic.

13/14. Anchor.

15/16. Flash.

17/18. Orbit.

19/20. Stitch.

21/22. Eclipse.

23/24. Echo.

25/26. Cradle.

27/28. Hurricane.

29/30. Dew.

[harlowsbby]

Closure part two

“I honestly can’t even believe Y/N acted that way, I mean do you think I’m a bad person Jack?” Winnie pouted and leaned into Jack’s embrace.

Jack wasn’t exactly sure what even happened everything happened so quickly. One minute the two of you were shopping around and having fun and the next minute you were crying and arguing with him.

Last night

“What’s your issue baby? I had to stop everything mid performance because you’re causing a scene.”

“I’m causing a scene? Are you honestly that stupid Jack.” He was taken back by your response. “What are you on about?” You scoffed and rolled your eyes you couldn’t believe he was acting so clueless right now.

“Winnie!! She’s been trying to get at you for the longest why do you think I avoid hanging out with her?! She literally wants you Jack.” His face scrunched up in confusion.

“Winnie is just a friend, that’s it and that’s all she doesn’t want me nor do I want her.” You believed Jack you knew he’d never leave you but one thing about Winnie she was going to make sure she got her way.

“I don’t know Jack I just can’t be around you while she’s here.”

“What are you saying baby?” You bit your lip nervously. “I think it’s best I just sit the Grammy’s out, I don’t feel comfortable being around Winnie and her posy.”

“What? You have to come you’re my plus one on the red carpet baby and you’re supposed to be sitting at the table with Urban and Me.”

“Give Winnie my spot I’m sure she’ll be more then thrilled.” Jack couldn’t believe you right now he felt as if you were being selfish and just filled with so much envy and jealousy.

“Are you kidding me baby? We’ve been planning this day since November of last year and now you wanna just pull out last minute. I can’t stand you sometimes Y/N all you have to do is put aside your one sided differences with Winnie for one more night but you can’t even do that.”

“One sided differences? I didn’t have an issue with Winnie till she created an issue what don’t you get or understand by that. Honestly never mind I’m leaving.”

You weren’t about to be talking to someone who was so one sided.

“Yeah I think it’s best you go.” Jack tapped the Suv letting the drive know that he was good to go. You rolled up the window and Jack watched you as you did, you face stayed cold you weren’t about to let him see you cry.

Once the driver finally pulled off you finally broke down and let all your emotions free. You tossed your phone to the side after seeing that picture Winnie posted of Jack and her. If she wanted Jack so bad so be it you weren’t about to stress yourself over it anymore.

Flashback over

“I don’t think you’re a bad person Winnie, Y/N has been going through a lot lately that’s all.”

Winnie and Jack were on the way back to Resort World, it was one of the newest hotels in Vegas you were all staying in.

Jack wasn’t sure what was going to happen once he got inside and to the room, he figured you’d be upset at him still but hopefully would’ve let it go, he wanted to apologize because he knew what he said was wrong and was spoken out of anger.

Once the finally arrived back to the hotel he made his way up to your shared room, his face scrunched up in confusion when he didn’t see you or any of your things.

“Babe? You in here.” He searched around the room for a bit till he saw a letter laid on his side of the bed from you.

I’ll be staying in Neelam’s room tonight and tomorrow night I think we both need some space apart for a bit.

He flopped onto the bed and sighed dramatically he didn’t even understand how tonight turned out like this he could’ve sworn everything was going good.

“So what’s going on with Jack and You?”

You we’re now laying in bed with Neelam the argument you had earlier with Jack was playing in your mind like an endless scene, you hated the way you embarrassed yourself in front of everyone.

“Honestly I’m not sure Neelam I’m not going to be quick to forgive him especially after everything he said.”

His words hurt especially when he was talking about you pushing every single friend you had away. You always pushed your friends away because of Jack. He had a busy schedule and you didn’t so you were always on the road with him and pushing your friends away was the only option and the only way from keeping you from feeling as if you were being left out from things going on back home.

For him to turn that back around and throw it in your face had hurt you and he knew the reason why you pushed them away so why use that against you.

“Are you really not attending the Grammy’s tomorrow?” You weren’t even sure anymore the last thing you wanted to do was create anymore drama. “I don’t know Neelam I think it’s best I stay here and sit this one out.”

“Are you sure Y/N? Tomorrow was supposed to be a special night for all of us and you were so excited to go.” “I don’t know Neelam I’ll just see how I feel in the morning, let’s just get some sleep for now.”

You never did get any sleep that night you kept tossing and turning the entire night. You hated the way Winnie kept acting as if she was the victim but it’s what she did best, as for Jack well you hated the way he completely disregarded your feelings.

Picking up your phone you saw the time was 11pm you figured Jack just might be up. You decided to put on your big girl panties and go over and talk things out.

You closed Neelam’s door quietly before sneaking down the hall to Jack’s room, taking out the spare key card you quickly unlocked the door before going in.

You turned on the flashlight on your phone and your eyebrows furrowed together seeing the scene in front of you. There laid Jack on his side of the bed but with Winnie laying next to him on his bare chest, her hand resting a bit to low on his stomach.

“So it’s like that?” You whispered to yourself, tears started pooling your eyes before you swiftly turned around and left.

Maybe you were jumping to conclusions way too quickly there was no way Jack would actually go and cheat on you or would he? You truly didn’t get any sleep once you made it back to Neelam’s room you were trying to process and make excuses for what you just saw.

The next day

“Y/N, wake up.” You groaned and shoved away whoever was shaking you.

“Y/N you have to get up.” “No I’m tired let me sleep a bit more.” Urban laughed but shook you some more.

“Even though I wouldn’t mind if you slept in more your makeup artist would so you need to get up.”

“My makeup artist?” You weren’t sure what Urban was talking about. “For the Grammy’s Jack told them you’d be in here.”

“I’m not going Urban so just tell them I’m sorry but no makeup will be getting done today.”

“What? Why aren’t you going I thought the two of you made up.” You scoffed as you got up and got a bottle of water. “Made up? He came to the Suv and basically said everything I was feeling was one sided and basically called me crazy for believing that Winnie wanted to date him.”

You weren’t even going to bring up seeing Winnie and Jack together in bed. “Well I feel like you should attend the Grammy’s still.”

“Why Urban? Just to see Winnie all over Jack I think I’ll pass on that one.” Urban sighed he hated that you were going through this he just wanted everyone to get along.

“No to come and support everyone else Jack isn’t the only one who worked hard to get here, we need to celebrate tonight as a team even if you aren’t talking to Jack right now please just come and support everyone else.” Urban always had a way of making things more sentimental when it was needed of course.

“Fine I guess I’ll go but you owe me some taco bell after the show.” You laughed “Sounds like a deal to me now come on let’s go get something to eat.”

You tossed on some one of Urban’s hoodies and a pair of your sweats before following him downstairs to the buffet and of course you ran into Winnie and Jack.

“Well good morning Urban and Y/N.” Winnie greeted the two of you in her high pitched voice, you could honestly tell she was putting on an act in front of Jack.

“Good morning Winnie and Jack.” You greeted them both, she wasn’t the only one who was able to put on an act.

“Look Y/N I just want you to know that I forgive you, I know you’ve been a bit stressed lately and last night was just one of your many outbursts due to stress I’m sure.” You so badly wanted to hurt her and drag her across the hotel lobby but you weren’t about to give her that satisfaction.

“Well I wasn’t stressed I just got a bit overwhelmed due to all of the fake energy certain people brought last night.” You laughed making her give you a tight smile.

“Well as long as you’re feeling better now?” “I’m feeling much better thank you for asking.” She rolled her eyes before heading over to one of the tables to sit down and eat leaving only Jack, Urban and You.

“You’re wearing Urban’s sweater I see.” You looked down and shrugged your shoulders you didn’t even notice this was Urban’s sweater.

“I guess I am.” Urban stood there awkwardly not really sure what to do. “Well I’ll meet you at one of the tables Y/N.” Before you could stop him from leaving Urban was gone.

“What do you want Jack? Haven’t you said or should I say do enough last night.” You tossed some eggs and bacon your plate as you browsed the other options.

“What are you talking about?” “Oh now you wanna play dumb like I didn’t see what Winnie and you were doing last night.” You pushed past him and went to serve yourself, Jack obviously followed you.

“What do you mean you saw Winnie and me? Saw us where.” “Why are you playing dumb right now Jack.” “I’m not playing dumb I really don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

Slamming the lid shut to the fruit you finally turned to face Jack. “You know every time we argue I don’t result in sleeping with somebody that isn’t you.” You stated coldly before walking away.

Jack stood there not really sure what to do or why you were mad at him now, all he wanted was to make things better with you but he guessed that wasn’t happening.

“I don’t know I feel like my outfit is doing a bit too much don’t you think?”

Looking yourself over in the mirror you were a bit iffy on the outfit Neelam picked out. It was an all black sheer givenchy dress, you loved how the dress made all your curves pop out but you suddenly started to feel insecure.

“Are you kidding me? You look absolutely beautiful in it and you’re wearing it I don’t wanna hear it.” Whatever Neelam said goes you sighed, not really having much of a choice here you just prayed you’d look good and that tonight would end well.

The ride there was more than awkward nobody really spoke besides Ace and Urban other than that everyone else really stayed to themselves.

Jack had to admit you looked gorgeous you always did to him but the way the dress was doing wonders on you had him ready to take you right then and there but he forgot the two of you weren’t on speaking terms.

The minute you stepped out of the Suv paparazzi was of course in your face.

“Jack over here!!” “Jack, Jack are you dating Winnie now?!” “Y/N did Jack and you breakup.” “Winnie is it true you’re a backstabbing man stealer?”

Winnie’s face scrunched up in anger while Urban and You both giggled. “Well they aren’t wrong about that last question.” Urban joked. “I agree.”

Jack couldn’t help but to let his jealously get the best of him when watching Urban and You giggling the entire time during a few of his interviews. You’d both sneak off to the side and start laughing about something Urban either said or something on his phone.

His jaw tightened as Urban’s hand laid on your lower back.

“You know I honestly feel like she isn’t good for you Jack I mean look at her over there all giggling with Urban if I didn’t know any better I’d think she was with him.” Winnie told Jack.

“She’s doing it on purpose I guess this morning she came up to me and said I was sleeping with you? I don’t even know what she’s talking about.”

Jack didn’t know what you were talking about but Winnie did, last night when he was sleeping she crept into his room and laid down with him. She even heard you come into the room.

“I’m not sure what she’s talking about either Jack but let’s not even focus on the two of them let’s focus on tonight and the fact that you’re performing at the Grammy’s.

“You’re right Winnie.” “I know I am.” She laughed, her laughter caught you attention.

“What are they laughing about?” “Beats me but don’t let them get under your skin it isn’t worth it.” Ace reassured you.

After all of Jack’s interviews you all headed inside, at the table sat Jack, Winnie, Lil Nas X and a few other artist, you sat at the table behind Jack with Urban and Neelam and The Homies.

You where a bit starstruck being in a room filled with so many A-list celebrities.

“You’re Y/N right?” Snapping out of your daze you were greeted by Drake. “Drake! You’re Drake?!” Drake laughed and nodded his head. “Well I sure hope I was Drake but I just came over to say you look absolutely stunning tonight.” He sent you a little wink before going back to his table.

“I can’t believe Drake said I looked good and winked at me.” You squealed. “Not too much now we all know Drake was winking at me.” Ace joked. “You like men now?” 2fo asked him, “I mean if that’s the only attention I can get.” Ace defended himself which earned him a few slaps to the head by everyone.

“Now she’s taking compliments from other men? That’s a bit bizarre to me.” Winnie told Jack who nodded his head in agreement. “It is what it is Winnie, as long as I have you I don’t need anybody else.”

After watching a few other artist performing it was finally Jack’s turn.

“Ladies and gentlemen I’d like to welcome on the stage, Jack Harlow.” Olivia cheered as well as everyone else.

Jack opened up the show with Poison and ended up going into I got a shot and ended it with Churchills Down.

You were all backstage when he got done performing but just as he was about to make it on stage Winnie ran on the stage. “Hold on Jack before you go back on stage we have a little something for you.” She said in a teasing tone.

“What’s she doing now?” You asked. “I’m not sure, is this even apart of the show?” Ace asked. You all walked towards the side of the stage watching what was about to happen.

“We’d like to present you this award for best new artist and best new breakout artist it was a little surprise award for you.”

“Wait did he just win two Grammy’s?!” Clay asked. “Uh I think he just did.” Drama said.

“What? I just won two Grammy’s.” Jack said into the mic making everyone laugh. “Yes you did and sorry to just throw this on you mid performance but do you have a little speech?” Winnie laughed.

“Uh well I really wouldn’t be here without my fans or my family but most importantly I wouldn’t be here without God, I wanna thank my team Neelam, Ace, Clay, Drama, 2fo and so many more for pushing me to be the best version of myself and reminding me to never give up on myself.”

The audience cheered again. “Is there anybody else you want to thank?” “You, thank you Winnie for always pushing me as well you’re truly the best friend anybody can ask for and I thank you for that Winnie.” The audience aww’d at Jack’s speech.

Meanwhile you were backstage tears threatening to leave your eyes. “Are you okay Y/N?” Ace rubbed your back and you shook your head no. “He didn’t mention me he didn’t even thank me but he can thank her.”

“I’m not sure what’s been going on with you two but I’ll talk to him if you want Y/N.” Drama reassured you but there wasn’t much he was able to do anymore.

“Don’t bother Drama clearly Jack picked who he wanted to be with and it wasn’t me.” You cried out. “I think it’s best I go home.”

“Home? Like back to Kentucky home?” “Yeah I can’t stand being here another minute.” Urban frowned slightly. “You want me to come with you? I’m ready to dip as well.” “I’d appreciate it.”

Once Jack got backstage he was greeted by only Neelam, he looked around confused. “Where is everyone?” “They all went back home.”

“What? For what the show isn’t even over yet and I just won two Grammy’s” Neelam gave him a half smile. “I’m proud of you Jack but lately you’ve been an ass to Y/N and I haven’t been the only one that’s noticed that clearly.”

“Y/N is the issue not me and certainly not Winnie.” He defended himself. “Are you sure about that? If she wasn’t the issue then how come nobody is here.” Jack looked around the room and maybe Neelam was right.

“Fix things before things get even worse than they already have. I’ll see you back out there in a few minutes.” This was supposed to be one of Jack’s biggest nights but instead it was one of his worse nights.

taglist

@nattinatalia @heavyhitterheaux

@moody4world @mortirolo

@awhore4moree @jackharloww

@jackmans-poison @hoodharlow

@lovefks @babiefries @softtcurse

[svtminji]

what were the members reaction to jeongmi’s relationship? were some members rooting for them since the beginning or was totally shocked by the news

omg! this was something i’ve been meaning to start writing, esp. for the jeongmi files, but didn’t really know how to expand from it. the ask really drove me to write this.. so thank u anon !! 🐈‍⬛🐈🤍

٩(^‿^)۶ SEVENTEEN’S REACTION TO JEONGMI’S RELATIONSHIP !

pairing. jeonghan x oc — seventeen x oc

date set. late 2020 / november 2020

word count. 1.1k

warnings. foul language used, one mention of their engagement, mutual pining omg 😫

an. again.. thank u to my anon for asking this ^_^

anon asks related to this. mingyu reaction

LEAST SURPRISED — “oh, okay. yeah we could tell you two liked each other for a long ass time already. i’m surprised you didn’t get together sooner.” ->

seungcheol/s.coups & joshua

ok this two men were like.. thankful that the pair finally had the balls to ask each other out after like 2 years of painful flirting omg. since the 95 line are usually closer to each other, the jeongmi couple had their designated person that they talked to about their love problems. sc&js definitely heard both sides of jeonghan and minji about their “undying love” for each other but didn’t know if it really was that for TWO YEARS STRAIGHT. #1 WINGMEN—“oh hey jeonghan, why don’t you go help out mizu with her tasks. i’m sure she won’t mind you” or “oh sorry about that mizu, but i’m sure jeonghan can help you with that task”— and they would SET THEM UP on dates omfg. the news wasn’t surprising to them at all. to them, they were already a couple with the way they acted towards each other tbh. — “god fucking FINALLY!! it’s about damn time!”

seungkwan & chan/dino

seungkwan. kwannie. chan. channie *violently sobs*. these men rooted for them like children of divorce who went through hell and back to get their parents back even though they never had a divorce but they were just not together or married. in satirical forms, they would ironically call them mom and dad and only to please their ideals, they would respond to it. literally pushed the jeongmi agenda—“ah minji-noona, when are you going to date jeonghan-hyung? what do you mean ‘no?’, he literally throws heart eyes to you whenever you have the chance to speak and you do it as well..”— and they did not fail! news wasn’t surprising, they literally raised seungkwan and chan.. — “see! i told you they were going to date. now give me those $50 bucks right now.” “hyung, are you serious right now..?”

SEMI SURPRISED — “oh, i mean i expected it but i didn’t think it would be so early.” ->

wonwoo

just because this man is quiet, DOES NOT mean he doesn’t enjoy the drama 🙄!! one of the first people to realize what was going on between jeongmi, excluding the fact they smashed before dating each other. actively had told minji to ask jeonghan out but wonwoo never saw it happen rip 💔. he was more worried about the articles that would come out once they were either: 1) exposed, or 2) came out themselves and said it. — “ah. see! i told you everything was going to be alright! i literally told you to ask him and boom.. he beat you to it.”

minghao & vernon

these two could see that jeonghan & minji would eventually get together some day but they didn’t know when. unlike sc, js & chan, they didn’t push much thought into it but supported the jeongmi agenda. they’ve seen the signs of a future relationship, given how minji would act with jeonghan. minji also brought a side out of jeonghan.. ❪ like being babied ❫, and to be honest, hao and vern were like .. “tf when did he get all mushy mushy with mizu..?”. they were surprised to say the least but it wasn’t the biggest news to them ❪ like jeongmi getting engaged ❫.

SURPRISED — “how long did you guys know.. and why didn’t you tell us beforehand!!!” ->

hoshi/soonyoung

he would see the sneaky glances between them during any sort of dance practice. during dance practices, soonyoung is on HIGH ALERT all the time and frankly, he does not want anyone messing up, including his main dancers chan and minji. seeing minji distracted during practice was pretty rare and seeing her this distracted because of jeonghan was even WEIRD. did some investigation but later gave up because he forgot. didn’t help that he got frequent visits from jeonghan ❪ same dorm building in 2020 ❫ and jeonghan would as him some questions about minji. — “what do you mean they’ve been dating? oh, is that why you asked me if minji was talking to anyone?”

dk/seokmin & mingyu

these two were surprised. seokmin was shocked and mingyu fell to his knees ❪ not clickbait, see image at the end ❫. mingyu couldn’t believe he was flirting with a taken woman, still did afterward. they couldn’t believe their eyes and had to take breather. — “so you’re telling me that you two are together? okay. that’s reasonable considering you two were always together. right mingyu? mingyu..?” image at the end.

MOST SURPRISED — “WHAT THE FUCK.” ->

jun/junhui

oh this man LIVES on his phone, spends most of his off days catching up on whatever he missed. sure he’s heard a thing or two about them, especially from minji, and shrugged it off. he always thought that it was weird that minji had a certain feeling for jeonghan but honestly, who wouldnt? so whatever was said about him from her, he honestly did not give a f.. until they announced it. he’s literally the shocked cat meme or wtv cat memes there are now 🙀🙀🙀 literally him. ngl.. he’s the type to forget their dating because he’ll pop in the room and see them pdaing and boom! “what the fuck is going on??” — “what do you mean they’ve been eyeing each other? HOW?”

woozi/jihoon

this man LIVES in his workplace. what makes you think he’s going to understand the emotional love from these two..? though he did find it weird that minji was asking his opinion on love songs she wrote, but didn’t mention it. and why was jeonghan so keen on wanting to learn more japanese..? on the dates they were busy with either music shows or gose, he did notice that they were closer to eachother and found it extremely strange. #was the last one to find out — “so you’ve been telling me that you two have liked each other for how many years? TWO? oh my god.. you better be fucking with me”

EXTRA BONUS: PARENT’S REACTION

DOI HOUSEHOLD ->

mom and dad were NOT surprised at all. the calls made from minji to her parents always ended on a strange note: “so when are you going to ask out jeonghan?” or “are you and jeonghan finally dating or what?”. minji had enough during the early months of 2020, and kept her secret when they finally started dating. — “mariana mizuki cortez doi. why did we have to hear it from the agency that you were finally dating jeonghan..? oh, you better pray that you are not home til the next year.” — though afterward, they were extremely supportive of the young couple.

YOON HOUSEHOLD ->

just like minji’s parents, the yoon parents were NOT surprised. they always regarded minji as a sweet girl and had always told jeonghan to bring her home more often, without the rest of the members. they also pushed the jeongmi agenda onto jeonghan in hopes he would ask out minji sooner or later. after a month or so of dating, jeonghan would eventually tell his parents on what their newfound relationship was built on.

some were short due to the diverse set of reactions!! but here’s jun’s reaction and mingyu’s reaction.

svtminji est 2023

[justkidneying]

Why you can't actually transplant eyes (yet)

This one didn't win the poll, but someone specifically asked for this topic, so I'll write about it anyways. Also, as someone who is working towards being a trauma surgeon, this is a topic I'm really passionate about.

So, I think a lot of people have a misconception about whether or not it is possible to transplant eyes. We transplant a lot of other stuff, so why not eyes? Well, you can transplant pieces of the eye, like the cornea, the clear part at the front of your eye (which is avascular). You can also replace the lens with an artificial one (the lens is also avascular). This is how you can fix cataracts, just taking out the old shitty lens and putting in a clear new one. That procedure can be done in a clinic in like thirty minutes (which is fuckin crazy if you ask me).

But what we're talking about here is taking out the entire eyeball and replacing it with a donor eye. It sounds cool as hell, so why is it so hard? First off, the eye is a part of the central nervous system (the first two cranial nerves, are in fact part of the CNS, not the PNS). So the optic nerve (CN II) is what carries special sensory information to the dorsal brain (occipital lobe). To control eye movement, you have CN III, IV, and VI (oculomotor, trochlear, and abducens nerves). The oculomotor nerve controls eye movement, pupil constriction, and the upper eyelid. The trochlear nerve controls movement of the eye downwards, outwards, or to the nose. The abducens nerve moves the eye outwards. Several other nerves are involved in keeping the gaze level with movement, visual tracking, and parasympathetic/sympathetic functions (rest and digest vs. fight or flight). The point is, eye nerves are complicated as hell.

The blood flow to parts of the eye is also very complicated, and is very difficult to properly reattach for full perfusion (esp the retina).

Now, onto the good parts. So the eye is what is called "immune privileged." This means it has protections against the immune function of the body (to avoid autoimmune attacks). The eye has no lymphatics, few immune cells, and immune suppressing chemicals. This makes it a great place for implants, as it is unlikely that the body will attack the foreign tissue (stem cell implants are becoming more common).

The first whole eye transplant was done about a year ago (November 2023), and so far the eye is still there with adequate blood flow. However, the guy can't actually see out of it. The surgery took 21 hours and involved a huge team of some of the best surgeons in the world. It was not an easy thing to do. They also implanted some stem cells with the optic tract in hopes to regenerate it, but that still hasn't restored vision in the eye. So, while this case is a major win in the area of eye transplants, there is still a ways to go.

So why do we even need to do so many eye transplants? Well, all kinds of things can lead to the loss of the eye, whether it be disease or trauma. Surgeons try very hard to keep the eyes in a patient, but that isn't always possible. Sometimes the tissue is too destroyed for repair or the damage causes permanent pain. Enucleation is the removal of the eye. Usually, as much of the optic nerve is left as possible, as well as the musculature. Possible options after healing include fake eyes (like glass ones), which can be crazy realistic and can be moved with the eye muscles.

I hope this was an interesting read, and thanks for reading my ramblings. I didn't feel like the typical post format would work for this one, and I like to imagine it like a bonus since it didn't win the poll, lol.

[chemzee]

lil doodle of Morgan's Y4 appearance (or at least, his first appearance, which was during November-December)

ALSO!!! using this as an opportunity to post his updated lore. I didn't like his original lore at all, so I rewrote it practically from scratch.

It's going to be really long tho so here we go

✨🌙✨

Ok so I'll start off by saying Morgan's family is no longer cursed, nor are most of them dead, only Morgan being affected and not just randomly at some point of his life, but rather he was already born sickly (whenever it's somehow related with magic or some curse is still up for me to decide,but now, he's just a sick child whose illness (which is kinda fictional but resemblances anemia) while not terminal,does affect him quite a lot). I decided to get rid of that concept entirely and rewrite the dynamic Morgan has with his family, esp his uncle.

Other than scary, that experience was very isolating: he was sheltered all his life before going to Hogwarts, having absolutely no friends at all, which resulted in him developing no social skills at all. He wasn't particularly close to his family either, with perhaps an exception of his uncle, whowas more of his tutor/teacher.

Now, as I mentioned before, Morgan was born a very sickly child, having lots of heart and blood issues. He spent a good chunk of his childhood in bed and hospitals, constantly falling very ill, to the point of falling in coma/almost dying at least several times during that period of time. Fortunately, by the time he got into Hogwarts, his condition got manageable and he could live a relatively normal life, although he would often feel unwell, some days better, some days worse.

But being on verge of death so many times, especially as such a young child was a very scary and traumatizing experience for him, but a part of him grew accepting of death, coming to terms with the fact he probably won't live much shorter life compared to his peers (not talking about dying at 20-30, but rather ~50 now, a lil more if he gets lucky).

Whenever he wasn't in the hospital, he'd spent most of his time reading books, his favorite ones were horror novels and astronomy books, the later becoming a big interest of his. At around 8 years old, he started to write his own short stories, taking inspiration in the horror novels he read and they often were rather disturbing in nature. Or so his parents thought. He stopped sharing his writings with his family at some point bc he could tell they didn't like them much.

However, he does still live through the death of some of his relatives, witnessing one of them, which was of his uncle. After that, he started taking interest in necromancy (soon disappointed he can't really make someone truly alive again) and then it escalated to interest in dark arts in general. He'd read upon biographies of dark wizards and their crimes, but purely from theoretical standpoint. He found it interesting what pushes people to commit such terrible crimes.

When Morgan got to Hogwarts, his poor social skills didn't do him much good: he had a lot of troubles socializing, he was seen as weird and creepy, especially because of his interests. He had no friends there, being a "weird loner kid" throughout hus first few years there and even though he doesn't mind being alone due to being an intovert, he craved to find someone who'd understand him, somewhere to belong, a friend.

By the time of Y2/3, he came up wirh an idea of his own book: about a prisoner in Azkaban who reminisces his life, how from a kind-hearted teacher he became a dark arts user and necromancer. He started to do his research, especially about Azkaban and it's when he developed his strong distaste for the imprisonment system MoM imposed.

The more he researched, the more he was convinced on how nonsensical the system was: why lock up ALL criminals in the same place? Why lock up petty thieves, who perhaps only did that to support themselves due to economical issues with dangerous dark wizards, the worst kind of people on Earth? Why punish people who had no other choice so cruelly rather than help them? Why is there only one prison? Why not build rehabilitation centers? Why make people suffer for their crimes hoping they won't commit them again, rather than understand what pushed them to commit them in the first place and help prevent that from happening?

At some point, he approached one of Slytherin prefects, the one he knew was a son of a minister and aspired to become one day too, Joaquin Reedus, to ask him what he thought of idea of reforming the system to create rehabilitation centres for petty criminals, so they would have to stay in Azkaban of all places. Reedus was intrigued by this young boy and his idea and told him that he'll think about his proposal. And then, after a few days, decided to ask if he was interested in joining a group that opposes sone of ministry's ways (without mentioning the group's name).

Morgan, very young and naive, saw it as hid opportunity to find people who thought alike, people who would accept him, to find people he'd be able to call his friends. And so, he agreed.

The group was NOTME.

And unfortunately, that group was not as considerate as Morgan hoped they'd be.

[kellyvela]

Having the CW be a "junior investor" in Joan was a colossal mistake. ITV did this in the hopes to make this show into multiple seasons and need outside funding to do so and look what's happened. Nonexistent promotion from the CW and it was moved to a diff day and time not even a week after it premiered.

While its great that Joan is doing well in the UK, the US is where the acting jobs are (esp ones that pay well) and the fact that not only do most Americans aren't even aware this show exits, those that do view this as a huge downgrade for Sophie going from a prestigious network/streamer to the CW.

Fingers crossed that "Haven" and "The Dreadful" are critical and box office hits.

When Joan was announced in November 2022, the cw wasn't even mentioned:

Since it was announced, Joan was described as a six-part drama, meaning it was a limited series. Limited series have a predetermined number of episodes. Limited series are not meant to continue.

I now Anna Symon talked in interviews about the possibility of Joan new adventures in an eventual second season, but it was during promotion so I think that was kinda hyping the show, it wasn't anything sure. Also the script is one big flaw that all the negative reviews mentioned, so maybe is better that she wont be writing Joan new adventures . . . .

---

As for the cw… It can't be that bad if their money made Joan real, right? This project has a long history of attempts to make it real, with Gwyneth Paltrow buying the rights to make a movie with her in the lead role, and at one point it was said that even Madonna wanted to play Joan.

The cw as an associated co-producer was announced on May 2023:

Their role was basically to broadcast the show in the United States.

And the cw entertainment chief Brad Schwartz sounded very excited about the project:

So I don't know what happen for them to do almost zero promotion and then moving the show from Wednesday to Friday.

But the decline of the cw is something that comes long before Joan, it's not Joan's fault or anything. That's one factor why most people in the US don't know about the show, in addition to the lack of promotion.

And it's not a downgrade for people well informed that know this is a British production from ITV. The CW are only the US distributors, basically. They did a terrible job tho.

Meanwhile Germany, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and Latin American distributors are doing a great job, as other UK platforms like BBC Player and STV. Even Apple TV did a better job . . . .

And regarding US audiences and Hollywood jobs, I think with Sophie's decision to move back to the UK also comes a decision to focus on British jobs and productions, like Haven and The Dreadful.

From her latest interviews and specially in that BBC podcast you can read between lines how done she is with the US.

Not saying she will never come back to work in Hollywood, but I think she needs the UK more right now.

And yes, we all hope that "Haven" and "The Dreadful" are successful.

[thegodwhocums]

Could you talk more about agdistis? It seems they're a deity who is considered nonbinary which 😳 i can't believe I haven't come across them before!! What are their celebrations like, esp from a queer point of view? (I'm @arkefthos, this is my main)

oh MAN YES LET'S GET INTO IT

Agdistis is an entity from Phrygian and Anatolian mythology - adjacent to and overlapping with the Greek pantheon. if you are familiar with the goddess Cybele, Agdistis can be considered either her child, an aspect/epithet of her, or a piece of her that was cracked off by a traumatic event. my experience is mostly with that third way.

Agdistis is described using some fucked up language in the myths, but we could consider them bi-gendered, intersex, trans, nonbinary, or bi-sexual in the sense of their physical body having both "male" and "female" secondary sex characteristics. any of those modern terms would be correct, I think (and here I use "trans" in the sense popularized by Leslie Feinberg, Kate Bornstein, and their contemporaries, as opposed to the more popular usage among younger folks today - anyone who transgresses binary gender).

primary sources on Agdistis include Arnobius and Pausanias. their language around this entity is super dehumanizing, so be aware of that going in. the myths tell stories that overlap and diverge, some making Agdistis an independent goddess, some making them an alter ego of Cybele, etc, as I mentioned above.

@flamingkorybante (aka Rocket) and I first encountered Agdistis in the (foundational, and dated but still valuable) book Hermaphrodeities by Raven Kaldera in... 2015? when the two of us worked with maybe six other ritualists to call in a variety of trans(ish) deities and let the attendees of the ritual interact with them for healing and affirmation. it was a hell of a ritual, and Rocket has detailed the months that followed that ritual. (here's a Drive link to the PDF of that book.)

as of now Rocket and I are building up a pretty simple mystery cult around Agdistis and their story, especially their sexy-madness rampage across the Mediterranean region and their subsequent death at the hands of Dionysos.we have not come across any historical evidence of them having a proper cult in ancient times. as a result, this work relies heavily on divination which makes it very likely that others will have different interpretations of them them than we do! they are a complex being with a serious trauma history alongside a LOVE of partying.

so the process of figuring out their celebrations is a beautiful and joyful work in progress! here are some things we do.

there are three main festivals when we devote attention and activities to Agdistis: Anthesteria around February, the Friday of NYC Pride (the Drag March) in June, and @trans-rite in November

we consider them an ancestor and honor them alongside our other queer and trans ancestors of spirit

we make offerings on the full moon (the moon itself does not seem super significant, but it is a nice recurring schedule) - they do not seem picky about what we offer, but particularly like almonds, mugwort smoke, pine, and sweets. their favorite is if you cry and shout and share your bad feelings with them so they can eat them

there is a short poem in Latin that we refer to as "the couplet," which can be used to invoke them, or to offer a trigger or painful emotion to them: "Dea, Magna Dea, Cybebe, Dea Domina Dindymi, demitte me tuo furor parvu, obsecro, ut furor magnum pertransit me." It calls to Agdistis's Mother and translates to "Goddess, Great Goddess, Cybele, Lady Goddess of the Mountain, visit your small madness upon me, I pray, that the Great Madness may pass me by."

they also really like to be invoked on your way into a party!

we are working with @dionysiandevotee to schedule an AMA about Agdistis and the Agdistine Order over on Reddit sometime in the next month, so if that's a platform you use, keep an eye out.

finally, if you like, here is the essay on Agdistis that Rocket and I wrote in 2018. the daemon has calmed down with us a little since then but they can be INTENSE. please take care, the essay talks a lot about sexual assault and transphobic violence in the context of both mythology and modern life.

this response was probably more than you bargained for. good luck and have fun! reach back out if you have any questions.

[ottiliere]

just started reading the grief complex and i will probably ramble about it later when im actually done w it (sorry) but i am SO curious about what influenced your colour choices esp for lynn. idk, your work is always extremely beautiful and dynamic but lynn always seems to stand out to me- or maybe thats confirmation bias. the colours and palletes you use for your art in this work particularly have me so so intrigued. i need to tattoo this stuff on the back of my eyelids.

When we were conceptualizing the design for lynn, both he and cam were still going to be flesh toned. at this point I was still extremely displeased with my attempts at cam (who was conceived first) so for a change of pace I shifted to try and draw Lynn for the first time. because I wanted this to be a very low-stakes and low-stress image I utilized my one secret trick I will share with you, which is that I took a very old illustration from my favorite onceler artist and adjusted the hues and crap on it to color pick and paint with for fun. And in this "for fun" drawing, he ended up being purple with orange hair. When Dane saw this I said something like yeah I'll give him human skin at a later date I just wanted to mess around blah blah. but he demanded i keep him purple so we did because I mean he looked really good purple I couldn't very well argue with that.

I then naturally decided that purple would look good with the green shade we picked for cam... purple and black are often paired up alongside green and orange for halloween. in an initial discussion we talked about how they should look a bit out of place because of this. griefcon takes place in early / mid November, so we thought they ought to look a little like halloween decorations left out past the appropriate season.

While their colors were a bit coincidental, the color of pretty much everything else is chosen deliberately. Some of these choices are symbolic and others are quite literal...the orange sky happens to be both!

Here is the aforementioned "initial" drawing of Lynn. Unlike cam who I continued to struggle with visibly until partway through the first chapter, Lynn kind of came out exactly as he was supposed to be on the first try.

[moonlightcookie]

a love letter to seamoon

disclaimer this will get Very long. majority will be under the cut. this will be very personal

i didn't grow up seeing lgbt media, only glimpses of gay fanart and fanfiction, created by fans. openly gay or trans characters in media didn't really exist when i was a child, and when they were, it was all homophobic and transphobic stereotypes, meant to get a laugh out of the cishet audience.

i grew up in a society where being gay (or trans), was a bad, shameful thing to be. the very first time i came out to anyone, it was my best friend in 7th grade. i texted her, crying bc i was so ashamed of myself, and afraid of her reaction. i texted her, bc i couldn't bear to say it aloud. she was the only one i had told, for years.

It's terrifying to even think of outing yourself when your peers were like hungry wolves, taking any opportunity to find anything wrong with you. i was already fat, ugly, a teacher's pet, etc. I generally kept to myself, and other kids didn't like that. especially since i was poor, and would often show up to school in old, torn clothes every day. nooo way i felt safe enough to come out to anyone else, until a few years later in high school (which was still super scary btw!!)

imagine how i felt as a teenager, seeing Steven Universe on air, especially after the Ruby + Sapphire reveal. a kid's cartoon with largely female/nonbinary characters AND canon lesbians? with onscreen lesbian kisses? on the MOUTH?? nowadays it might seem silly to praise SU for its lgbt representation, when now there's a lot more (by comparison) of openly lgbt media. but i feel like people, esp young people who grew up alongside SU and other openly lgbt media, don't realize just how revolutionary (and recent!!) SU was for its time. SU had actually been cancelled shortly after the Rupphire wedding, for obvious reason. before then, people would jump thru hoops to say that Ruby and Sapphire were sisters, or just "very good friends" . other countries would censor their relationship or not air it at all. sadly, i still see the same happen to other sapphic characters/relationships, including seamoon.

All of this is to say, i just want to let out how important Sea Fairy and Moonlight, and their relationship, are to me.

I first learned about Cookie Run 6-7 years ago when kinning CR characters was a big thing on tumblr lol. one of my mutuals would post about it, and the characters i saw looked cute, so i went to the wiki to look at some more. immediately i was drawn to Moonlight Cookie, and getting her on the official CR personality quiz didnt help either lol

then when i saw Sea Fairy's page, and her mentioning her deep love of the moon, i immediately knew she was really talking about Moonlight, and that seamoon was intended to be canon. this was all before the relationship charts, mind you. all we had were Sea Fairy's inital LINE/Kakao release event, and both Sea Fairy's and Moonlight’s loading lines to go off of

even back then, people were upset at the possibility of them being in love, headcanoning them as sisters or just "best friends", others would say Sea Fairy was talking about the literal moon, or even the moon that Moonlight rides on...

frankly, it was obvious to I and many other sapphics that seamoon was canon. the moon affecting the sea's tide IRL, Sea Fairy being the legendary released after Moonlight, with her entire story up to that point was of a sea fairy who was cursed to be frozen upon trying to reach the moon she so loved. Both their lines referencing longing + loneliness, the City of Wizards and the Tower of Frozen Waves's proximity... it all added up.

finally, on November 14th 2019, Devsisters released the "I Want You Every Day" MV. where we finally get real confirmation of Sea Fairy and Moonlight's relationship, and especially Moonlight's reciprocation of Sea Fairy's feelings, with this legendary moment:

(gifs from @/kumiihocookie) to finally have confirmation- there is no sentence in the English language that could accurately describe my feelings. Elation, jubilation, vindication, ecstatic, the list goes on. literally where else am i supposed to find a character who's just like me, including being canonically sapphic?! to have a character i see so much of myself in, be confirmed to be in love and in a relationship with another woman, one who loves her so much as to literally go to the ends of the Earth(bread) for, i cannot find the words although LDRs arent for me, they are the reality for many lesbians, including my own at one point. seeing these two women continue to love each other unconditionally despite their distance, despite the very real reasons they cannot physically be together, brings me hope as a lesbian.

i hope that i too, can find a love that will always look to the sky, thinking of me. a love that will love me unconditionally, the way Sea Fairy loves Moonlight. a love that can bring me peace and comfort, the way that Moonlight does for Sea Fairy.

[mikeana]

~ TWST 2023 Event Prediction Chart ~

Please note that some of the events will carry over into the following month! (aka why November looks so empty)

Obviously this is going to be off the mark in some ways - such as, there are events (esp Master Chef) that have yet to be released in Japan, but could wind up in the EN server by the end of the year.

Also, there is also the possibility that Book 7 could release early on EN server so that we catch up with JP on the main story! If this is the case:

No Beanfest rerun

Move several events (Tsumsted Wonderland, Fairy Galas, and Wish Upon a Star rerun) up a month early

Add Book 7 Part 1 around July or so