#Echo is owning that wig! Go Baby go!

[elslittlestories]

People of the world, spice up your life!

When you're feeling sad and low, all you need is... a discord sever, newly made friends and a little bit of spice ✨

@bring-backup-99, @auntie-venom, @neverend-rs and @faceofpoe, thank you all for making this happen 💝

Have fun zooming in to spot more details and don't miss out the print out on Tech's top!

[porcelana-r0ta]

JOYRIDE

Fandoms: Batman, Danny Phantom

Relationship: Dan Phantom/Jason Todd

Word Count: 3,823

Ao3 Link: Available only to registered users

Summary:

Dan doesn't want to join his Habitudes group for their dumb community service project, which is why he lets two idiot goons kidnap him off the streets. When said goons turn out to work for The Joker, Dan decides to do something about him, maniac to maniac.

Or: The Joker tries to live stream a ransom, but ends up live streaming his own execution.

xxXxx

When Dan Nightingale is grabbed off the streets of Gotham, he makes a half-hearted struggle, just so he can seem human. The kiddie hero business and the indiscriminate genocidal tendencies no longer call to him like they used to, and while he’s still an impatient person who is intolerant of disruptive bullshit, he needs a little excitement in his life. 

Plus, he wants an excuse to get out of his Habitudes community service project. His pretentious trust fund baby groupmates chose to volunteer at some fucking coffee shop instead of something normal, like a hospital or an animal shelter. (Dan didn’t even know a coffee shop was an option, but anything goes for wealthy elites who want to roleplay as an impoverished barista, apparently.) Well, Jay Peters wasn’t so bad, and he was just as irritated as Dan was about the others’ choice. Plus, the chill that settles into Dan’s unused lungs when the other student is around shows that he’s at least Death-touched like him, even if they’ve never acknowledged that to each other. 

So, yeah. He lets himself be kidnapped by two goons, even if he could easily break free and make their insides their outsides. It could be interesting! Enrichment in his pandimensional parole! Everyone’s got to have fun sometimes! It’s like a little joyride, as a treat! But he isn’t the one committing the crime! How quaint!

Dan is a very polite captive. He lets himself be pulled into a creeper van with minimal resistance. He lets the goons zip tie his hands. He lets them put a black bag over his head, even though it smells of weed. He doesn’t count the number of turns they take, nor does he try to talk them into letting him go. In fact, he doesn’t say anything. When they eventually park, he allows the men to pull him out of the creeper van and into some building—likely a warehouse, judging by the echo of their footsteps on the floor. And finally, he lets the goons cut off the zip ties around his wrists and then tie them to the metal arms of a chair. 

He’s a great captive. And he’s so going to be excused from that stupid Habitudes community service project!

He’s content to sit and wait. The Bats of Gotham City usually have a good response time for villain bullshit, and if they don’t, then it’s not like any Fear gas or sex pollen will affect him. Dan’s not really human anymore, even if he is capable of looking so. 

Dan does not have to wait long. The footsteps increase and then stop altogether, and then a cackle fills the air. “Camera man ready? Mics? Charges?” The voice is familiar, yet grating. Where has he heard it before? In his past future, maybe?

“Yes, sir,” comes the reply from several different people. 

A pleased cackle, “Then let’s get started!”

“We are live in three… two…” 

At the silent one, the cackle echoes through the room once again. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen of Gotham City and beyond! I’m your favorite Joker, LIVE! With one of your favorite Wayne children!” 

Dan, who has been relatively chill this whole time, tenses. The Joker. That’s why he recognizes that cackle and voice. He had killed the clown before in his original timeline. Ugh, clowns. He fucking hates clowns. Hates their stupid pale makeup and their stupid dumb wigs and their exaggerated eyes and he fucking hates how they make him feel like he’s not in control. 

And what was that about a Wayne? 

Dan doesn’t think killing someone like The Joker in his original timeline should be held against him. Honestly, the guy is a megalomaniacal terrorist who abuses the guise of mental illness to get away with crimes against humanity. Dan had at least owned up to his own sanity, and never tried to hide from the law or anything like that. He just kind of… killed the law. 

….ACAB? 

A hand suddenly grips at the bag on his head, grabbing hair with fabric. “That’s right, folks! Here’s Gotham’s beloved Dick Grayson!” The bag is yanked off his head, revealing Dan in all his scowling glory. And Dan is a lot of things, but an exact Dick Grayson copy he is not, so while the goons may have mistaken him as Grayson, The Joker does not. 

He pauses, studying Dan’s face. Dan raises a mocking eyebrow, then looks around the warehouse. 

It’s empty and dimly lit, but it’s not a problem for his superior vision. The metal walls are an ugly beige and the floor is a gray cement, its color only broken by mysterious brown stains, and now the discarded black bag. Dan is up against a wall, surrounded by filming equipment. The camera in question is just a fucking iPhone 12 attached to a ring light. There’s one goon behind the camera, moderating the live stream. There is another goon holding a boom mic above Dan and The Joker, and there are four others behind the camera. All of the goons who are not handling equipment are holding toy musket guns. It is probably safe to assume that there are similarly armed goons guarding the doors that Dan cannot see from his position tied to a chair. Likely two goons per exit. In a warehouse of this size, there have to be at least six more goons that Dan isn’t seeing. 

The Joker grits his teeth. “Who brought the Grayson kid here.” It’s not a question so much as it is a demand. 

“We did, boss,” two goons pipe up proudly from behind the camera. 

“Why don’t you two come up on camera so I can congratulate you for good work?” The Joker grins beseechingly. 

One of the two goons, the blond, shuffles nervously at this, whereas the other puffs out his chest. So only one has any brain cells. 

The prideful one grabs his comrade by the arm and drags him up to the camera with Dan and The Joker. They stand in front of Dan, blocking him from the camera’s view.

“I always reward good work, you see,” he says to his henchmen. “Now, you think this is good work?” 

“Yes, sir,” says Pride, while Blond frowns. 

“Take a good look at his face.” The villain gestures angrily to Dan’s unimpressed face. “What do you see?” 

“Dick Grayson, sir,” 

Blond shuffles, “He looks like he isn’t scared.” 

“No! Wrong! This isn’t Dick Grayson! This– This is some—” The Joker takes another glance at Dan, noting the black Gotham U hoodie that hides his muscles. “This is some fucking college twink!”

“Twink?” Dan mutters to himself, disgruntled. Sure, the hoodie is baggy and he’s seated instead of standing, but do those two things add up to him looking like a twink? 

The color has drained out of even Pride’s face at The Joker’s words. “Sir, please—”

But The Joker is already pulling out a comically large toy gun that probably has real bullets, and Dan sighs. It would probably be bad for his parole if he let a bunch of humans die in front of him. 

He phases out of the ropes binding him, safe from view with the two idiots in front of him. Then, he kicks The Joker down to the floor, sending the toy gun scattering across the cement floor of the warehouse. He stands and knocks Pride and Blond’s heads together, knocking them out as The Joker screeches with rage. 

The goons behind the camera aim their guns, but Dan is already moving behind the camera. He snags the guns out of their hands, snapping them in half with strength he doesn’t even have to think about. He moves so fast that at first they don’t even realize what’s happened. By the time they connect their missing firearms to the broken bits of metal on the floor, Dan has already clobbered them over the head, knocking them unconscious. 

He takes out the cameraman, too, and the goon holding the boom mic. Then, in mere seconds, he takes out all the goons at each exit, and he’s back at the filming station by the time The Joker has staggered to his feet. His original estimate had been off by two—there were eight other goons in total. 

Dan checks the iPhone—still live streaming. On TikTok, of all the goddamn apps. The comments are going wild on what’s going on: where’s the college student, how did he kick The Joker like that, do you guys think that those two goons have brain damage now, what was that metal scraping sound, where is The Joker? 

“Hey, brat!” snarls The Joker, clutching at his ribs. “That was not part of the script.”

Dan hates clowns, and he especially hates The Joker. Sure, Dan wiped out nearly all of humanity. Who doesn’t have a bad decade of villainous activity? But he did it quickly, and he didn’t do it under the guise of insanity. He owned up to it. And if Dan’s being honest, he’s… disgusted by it all now, even if it hurts himself to admit. 

If Dan isn’t human, then neither is The Joker. 

Still off camera, Dan moves so fast he basically teleports in front of The Joker. The other man stumbles back, but Dan reaches out and grabs him by the throat. He chokes and claws at Dan, but Dan isn’t human anymore, and so his nails catch on nothing but the cloth of his hoodie. He doesn’t even feel it.

He drags The Joker to the chair in front of the still live camera and shoves him into it. While he recovers from being choked, gasping and shuddering and so fucking human , Dan forces his hands behind him and uses the ropes he’d phased out of to tie The Joker up. When he ties the last knot, Dan stands tall, staring into the camera. 

“Hello, friends and family,” he greets the audience. He gives a small smile, and he makes sure that he is perfectly, utterly human with normal blue eyes and normal black hair and normal human skin. “As you can see, things have turned around for The Joker here. Now, I’m sure his original intent was to ransom out the Wayne kid, and it would be a shame to see that hard work and planning go to waste on a mistake, wouldn’t it? So why don’t we hold a… reverse ransom? Only, I don’t need funds. I’ll accept donations. My venmo is vladsucks03. My cashapp is dannight07.”

Dan’s smile grows into a wide grin. “Feel free to donate if you like. But even not a single person donates, The Joker dies today.” 

The Joker spits out a gasping laugh, “Ha! You think you can kill me? I gotta admit, that’s a good joke. But Batman—”

“Batman what?” Dan asks, stepping off camera to grab the black bag on the floor. He shoves it halfway into his pocket. He walks to The Joker’s toy gun, the only one he hadn’t broken, and he picks it up. 

“Batman is already on his way here,” The Joker says. “He always is by this point.”

“And Batman will save you?” Dan snorts. He moves to check the live stream, comments coming in so fast that the only reason he can read them is because he’s not human anymore. 

Is this for real

fuck yeah kill that guy

💥🔫🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

extremely common gotham uni W

im donating 50$ rn

Can we vote on how joker dies

Lol does he fr think that batman would help him

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Does anyone else find this incredibly attractive or is it just me 😳

guys my joker/batman fic update is gonna slap after this

Joker’s cooked

bro is about to have ao3 level donations

Hey what’s his cashapp again

Omg i think that guy is in my bio class

I’ll donate when hes acc dead

doin god's work 🥹👍

If bro doesnt do it he’s cooked

This guy is gonna have infinite rizz if he pulls this off

The Joker scoffs, “Of course he will. He’s done it before.”

Dan yanks his gaze from the comments to The Joker’s face, “What?”

The Joker nods his head up arrogantly. “Batsy can’t live without me. He saved me after fickle-ickle Nightwing killed me.” 

“Huh.” Dan blinks consideringly, switching his gaze back to the comments. They’re all freaking out about this new information. He steps back into the camera frame, pulling the hammer back on the toy gun. “Then I’ll just have to make sure it sticks.” 

He points the gun at The Joker’s face and fires. As expected, rainbow confetti is the only thing that flies out, dusting over The Joker in celebration of what is to come. 

The Joker laughs. 

“Cute,” says Dan. He walks around The Joker to stand behind him, directly in front of the camera. He removes the black bag from his pocket and puts it over The Joker’s face. 

He shoves the muzzle of the gun into the back of The Joker’s skull. Pulling back the hammer, he asks, “Any last words?” 

He pulls the trigger before The Joker can say anything. It’s funny. As expected, the second gunshot is a real bullet. The Joker’s head and body jerks forward. Blood splatters on Dan’s face, but it’s mostly on the floor and the unconscious Blond and Pride and on The Joker himself. 

For a moment, Dan can only stare. The Joker’s body is crumbled in on itself, held up only by the bindings on his arms to a chair nailed to the ground. 

He feels big. He feels good. 

He feels… dirty.

He clears his throat. He drops the gun. He lifts up the soaking black bag up just enough to check for a pulse. After thirty seconds of nothing, he says, “Well, that’s the end of The Joker.” 

He looks up, staring into the camera lens, and he chuckles. “I missed my community service project because of this bozo. You guys think my professor will accept this as community service?”

You guys think this will affect my ghost parole? he doesn’t ask. 

He bends down to check the pockets of Blond. He finds his phone and uses Blond’s thumbprint to bypass the password. His stomach curdles at the home screen—a picture of Blond and a little girl with his eyes and his nose. His eyes burn and he calls 911, trying not to blink.

“911 dispatch. What is your emergency?”

“Yeah, uh, I killed The Joker. But he kidnapped me first, so. Turnabout.” 

“You— sorry, you what?”

“I killed The Joker. He’s dead. I checked his pulse and everything.”

“O-oh.” The woman on dispatch sounds strangled. There are muffled sounds, frantic, that the receiver only barely picks up. Dan wonders what she’s doing, Asking for verification? Trying to triangulate his location? Celebrating the fucking good news? “Do you know where you are, sir?”

“Some warehouse, I guess. Probably at the docks. Do you want me to check?”

“No, sir, please stay where you are if there are no immediate threats.”

“Got it.” He clicks his tongue. 

“Can you tell me your name, sir? Are you injured somewhere?”

“I’m Dan. Uh, Dan Nightingale. I guess he thought I was the Grayson kid. Um. Dick Grayson, I mean. And no, I’m fine. His henchmen are injured and unconscious, though.” 

“Right. Okay. Hi, Dan. I’m Claire. First responders and patrol units are on their way to your location now.”

“Well, that’s good, I guess.” He almost wants to ask if she thinks that he’ll end up in Arkham for this, but he’s pretty sure that there’s no jury on Earth that would convict him. Well, maybe not. He did ask for donations for murdering The Joker, after all. That might put a damper on his defense. 

“Dan?” asks Claire. 

“Yeah?”

“Is– is he really dead?”

Dan looks at the body and kicks a limp leg, avoiding looking at the gory black bag. Nothing. “Yep. As a doornail.” And he knows death intimately. 

She breathes a shaky, staticky sigh into the receiver. “Thank you, Dan.”  

He blinks, “Can you get fired for saying that?”

She laughs, “Honey, everyone not on break right now is listening to this. My boss just broke a bottle of tequila out from his desk.” 

He barks out his own laugh. “Oh?”

“You’re about to be very popular, Dan.”

“Well, I—” 

And seventeen minutes late to the party, the windows at the top of the warehouse shatter open. In cascades of broken glass and grappling cables, the Bats drop down to the floor. 

“Away from the body,” commands Batman as soon as his feet hit the ground. His little birdies, Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and the newest Robin fall in line with him. Robin makes quick work of rounding up the unconscious goons and binding them. 

Dan obligingly puts the hand that isn’t holding the phone up in the air, but before moving away from the camera’s view, he says, “Just a reminder guys, my venmo is vladsucks03 and my cashapp is dannight07. Please remember that I might need a lawyer soon.”

“Okay, funny guy,” Nightwing says, entering into frame and pulling Dan away by the shoulder while Red Robin shuts down the live stream.

“It was self-defense and defense of another. A whole population, if you will,” Dan says. 

Red Hood snickers, “Only crime here was the kidnapping.” 

“Dan, are you okay?”

“Bats are here, Claire,” Dan tells her. He watches Batman lift the black bag off The Joker’s face, revealing the viscera and gray matter beneath. He’s not smiling anymore. Dan hasn’t seen that kind of gore in years. He’s the cause of it once more and he doesn’t regret that. It feels invigorating. It feels devastating. “I guess I’ll hang up now. If The Joker is mysteriously alive after this, it’s because Batman couldn’t handle not being the hero.” 

“Dan—” He hangs up as Batman’s shoulders go minutely tense at his words. The man stands fully, turning his head slightly to narrow his cowled eyes at Dan. 

“Problem, sir?” 

“You killed The Joker.” 

“I saved myself and his two idiots.” He shrugs. 

“You had him restrained.” 

He rests an offended hand against his chest. “I was frightened that he would escape, sir, just as he escapes from the very place you put him every eight to ten months.” The Bat doesn’t want to be judge, jury, and executioner. Fine. Whatever, he gets it. Dan hadn’t wanted to be that, neither as hero nor villain. He’d wanted to save, he wanted to be saved, and then he wanted everyone to feel like he did. But he’s not so prideful now to know that he wouldn’t have stopped then, not unless someone handled the job permanently. 

The Joker needed permanence. 

The Bat can play fucking judge all he wants. But he’d be just as villainous if he tried enforcing his own moral code on other people.

“You asked for donations,” Red Robin says dryly. “You were basically putting a hit out on him.”

“My art in life textbook is $300. How much do you think a lawyer is going to cost?”

“Hn.” 

“Stop giving the man a hard time for doing a public service, Batman.” Red Hood shoulder checked Nightwing away and held out a gloved hand for Dan to shake. He takes the other’s hand and firmly shakes it. The contact, while not to skin, gives Dan goosebumps and chills his lungs. 

Jay?

“Let’s hope my Habitudes professor agrees with you.”

“She will. Everyone with three brain cells to rub together will.” The man cuts a glare at Batman. 

Dan didn't say what pronouns his professor uses. 

The rumble in Red Hood’s voice is enticing. He looks at the other man, really looks, and notices his broad shoulders, how tall he is (though Dan towers over him even  disguised as a human), and his muscled arms. Arms that Dan’s pretty sure are normally hidden beneath a Gotham U hoodie, just like his own. 

He smirks as sirens sound in the distance. “Let’s hope the cops agree with you.”

“They will,” Hood says. It sounds like a promise for something entirely different. 

“Gag me,” Red Robin mutters.

Robin says, “For once I agree with you.”

Without looking away from Dan, Red Hood flips the two off, and yeah, maybe redemption can be more promising than he initially thought. 

xxXxx

A week later, Dan finally goes back to his regular schedule. His ghost parole is intact—he’d even been thanked by some Gothamite ghosts, and Danny begrudgingly told him that there were ghosts who said they’d riot if Dan was given any punishment. As for the mortal side of things, Vlad Masters had graciously sent his team of attorneys to Dan’s aid. While Dan still hates him, he has no issue about using a free team of lawyers to defend him. He’s guaranteed to walk.

Jazz had called him. It made his core unsettled and stony. She wasn’t disappointed, and he doesn’t know how that makes him feel. He doesn’t regret it—The Joker would never change. But what does that say about him and his progress? 

Jazz in general makes him uneasy now. She used to be his big sister, and now she’s younger than him, and he tried to kill her, and— she’s different from his Jazz, is all. But if she’d always known like she said, then his Jazz did, too, right? Could she still be his Jazz, a Jazz who got to grow up? Still be his sister? It would be stupid to hope so, right?

He feels bitter.

She said she’s considering Gotham University as her college of choice as she nears high school graduation. Apparently, their psych department is amazing. 

So maybe hope isn’t so bad. 

Dan sits down at his 10:00 am Habitudes class. Everyone already in the room stares at him. Before they can offer any congrats or thanks or swarm him, Jay sits down next to him. 

Dan looks at Jay’s mostly black hair and his tuft of white at his front bangs. He’s wearing his usual Gotham U hoodie, a hoodie that likely hides muscled arms. A chill builds in his lungs like it did when speaking with Red Hood, like it has every other time he’s talked with Jay Peters. 

…Hm. A hoodie that definitely hides muscled arms. 

“Hey,” says Jay with a grin. “Crazy week, I hear?”

“You’re a Gothamite. I’m sure you’re aware of exactly how crazy it’s been.” 

“You should tell me about it sometime.”

“Sure. After class? We can grab an early lunch. Make it a date, maybe.”

Jay smiles, cute and small. His eyes flash green—a baby Death-touched soul, still can’t control his spooky abilities, how adorable—and he says, “That sounds perfect.”

[iwanty0uu]

Pussy Monster

Pt 3┊͙✧˖*°࿐

Of course you were playin with the nigga, but you just wanted to see how far he would go for you to stay.

The sound of the now broken controller echoed through the nearly empty house, it’s parts flying everywhere, nearly tripping an anxious Connie who tried to follow you into his room, but his attempt was unsuccessful. You locked the door, giggling behind it, still topless.

It’s crazy how he knew he fucked up and how he knew that he deserved it, but it was all a bluff, this was just part of his punishment, he probably wouldn’t get to see your pussy until he married you.

“Y/n open the door I’m sorry”, he nearly whimpered, the door knob jiggled to the point where the screws began to loosen, “Y/n I will break this fuckin door Princess lo siento,” he said banging on his room door.

“Nah cus how you gon lock me out of my own house” he said, and then, there was a pause. A moment of silence if you will. You sat comfortably on his bed still pissed at what he said but the length of the silence concerned you. Slowly, you eased off of the bed, meeting your reflection in the mirror, your dark brown wig braided into a ponytail and your wig-band still on.

But then the sound started again, and now the door was opened, he used his room key, and the force of the door opening caused the handle to fall off completely. “ Nigga you damaging your shit because of what you said, I’m not arguing wit ya ass by the way.”

You sat on his bed, grabbed your phone which was grabbed out of your hands by Connie, “Nah we arguing tonight, the fuck was them posts about!” He yelled, you felt your headache easing in again due to all of the excitement.

“ Brodie I told you my head was hurtin n asked your fuck ass to keep it down nicely, and you still did the most, so I got bored, went on instagram, talked my dog shit, and now u mad because you’re feeling the conviction! You know you dead wrong nigga so apologize and repent hoe!” You stated, acrylics clicking together and flying around.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his distraught, that was before you noticed his hazel eyes tearing up, they pooled until his cheeks became flush, and they fell freely, he no longer cared about containing himself to feed his ego, he wanted you to take him seriously, and deep down he was scared.

You stopped laughing abruptly and tilted your head to finally meet his eyes, he handed you back your phone, and looked away shamefully. If anyone was to be ashamed it should have been you, because your titties were still out, but the joke had gone a little farther than you expected..

He caught his breath and whispered, “lo siento, please y/n dont leave me..” 

“Fuck” you thought to yourself, you caved and held him close to you. “Con baby I’ll never leave you, it’s just that the things you do really upset me sometimes and-“ “ I know” he interrupted, “ I dont know why I keep doing it mi amor, I’m sorry and I mean it.” His eyes were now red and puffy, snot peeked from his nose and his cheeks were wet with tears.

His long brown lashes damp from all the crying, as you wiped them away with your thumb. His eyes were so alluring, the eyes that made you fall in love with him, you felt the tension between you both, hot and thick. You tried to ignore how seeing him beg for you made your pussy wet, but when his soft plush lips met yours, you lost control.

Kinktober Special-

[metaladam]

Adam walked out of the brothel room with Bee, out of breath, his neck covered in hickeys. Breathing heavily he'd put his helmit on and made his way to the microphone, lifting it up and causing a loud feedback blare to echo across the ball room.

" Oh shit, that sucked, here let me figure this out. *panting* give me uh *panting* like 30 seconds. Oh boy....*panting* whoooof."

He'd spend the next several seconds gulping down multiple bottles of water, the sound of it going right into the microphone. After panting a bit more he'd begin once again.

" Sorry about that. I just had a good lay, bro. I tell you what, I used to hate furries, I'd call um the scum of the earth, some real degenerate losers and shit. But man, after shoving my cock into Bee's sizzling wolf pussy for an hour I think I am about to take it all back. Seriously, there was steam coming out of that thing."

He'd take another long break to drink a few more bottles of water.

" Anyway, looks like everyone's having fun! Lucifer! ( @themosthatedbeingg) Hey bitch! Looks like some big wigs have been hanging around our girl ( @infernal-feminae!) I bet she'll be layin' some pipe real soon! All good though brother, we can gossip about her together! I'll tell you about my heartache, you can tell me what the inside of Lilith's asshole feels like! I know she let you, brother, just the look and smell of your kid ( @chasingrainbcws ) tell's me she's an ass baby!

Anyway Lucifer is not alone though! We got God's little vice regent right here! Michael! ( @cast-you-dxwn) and his smokin' hot date he can't keep his hands off of ( @deifuriae)! Man oh man are those two in love! I gotta tell you Michael! With how much you are obsessed with her its shocking as fuck none of her kids are yours!

But yeah, the ball has been pretty cool so far! I got laid! Satan is probably gonna get laid and traumatize one or two people, if he does not get into a fist fight with Mikey the cuck over there! But there are some bigger things going on then just this ball! We all know Hells has its problems! You know what problems they won't have in a decade? The elderly and the disabled! CAUSE WE ARE JUST GONNA KILL UM!"

He'd shout and wait for what he thought would be a huge bout of laughter. When he heard only silence he just did it again. Jumping in the air this time and throwing his hand in the air as a signal.

" CAUSE WE ARE JUST GONNA KILL UM!"

Nothing, just random crickets somewhere.

" Fuck, tough crowed. Anyway though Hell is not the only place that's fucked up! Come 2025 us angels are gonna play more active role on Earth! What is the number one problem for humans? War and poverty! STOP IT! JUST STOP IT! You know how we are gonna stop it babes? What do humans fight over? FOOD! Who handles food? FARMERS! Where is most of the land on Earth?"

He'd wait for a moment for someone to speak up, when no one did he'd answer his own question.

" UNDER WATER BITCH! That's right we are gonna teach humans to perform agriculture under the ocean! YOU EVER HAVE A SEA BEAN, SOME SEA SQUASH, SEA PUMPKINS, SOME MOTHER FUCKING SEA SALAD YOU FUCKING CUNTS?! WELL ITS COMIN! ITS COMIN NEXT YEAR JUST LIKE I DID A FEW MINUTES AGO!

Of course we all know food is not the only problems humans have, what with social media and all the shit going on that people like Vox have brought down to Hell with um! its getting bad bro, they are sexualizing chicks, and its getting to the point where even I have a problem with it!

But yeah! We are looking at some exciting new times in Heaven, we got a new milking industry going on! Angels like milk, I like milk! I like titty milk, and that's what we are gonna harness! I am talking getting the hottest babes and milking them bro, selling that shit out on the market! Angel titty milk coming this year! No one steal my idea! I fucking thought of it first!

I'm a big thinker everyone! I am an artist! A big brained philosopher! but you don't need to be a big brained and big dicked chad like me to get shit done! Pat yourself on the backs kids, you are the future!"

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*drops the mic*

@qveenofgluttony

[shapeshiftinterest]

Petty Little ‘Princess’: bowser x luigi

inspired by what i thought was gonna happen in the first 2 chapters of Deep Down by @super-mollio

big thanks to AllageAntelope from twitter for helping translate and collab on the italian dialogue

it’s like the 7th time he’s been kidnapped and luigi knows bowser’s caught onto his peach disguise

now he’s in peach’s wedding dress and standing at the alter with a smug ass koopa king probably thinking the plumber’ll be the first to crack and call off the wedding

well, 2 can play at that game

story under the read more

Petty Little‘Princess’ (also on ao3)

Luigi glared at the koopa in front of him. This was what, like the 7th time he’d gotten kidnapped dressed as Princess Peach?

He could tell Bowser’d caught onto his disguise this time but the king still hadn’t let on that he knew.

Now Luigi was wearing Peach’s wedding dress and standing at the alter, playing the world’s longest game of gay chicken as Kamek got closer and closer to the ‘I do’s. His feet hurt from being in heels the entire time and the blond wig kept falling into his face.

‘Miserabile figlio di puttana,’ Luigi thought, Bowser’s smug mug staring at him from behind the other side of the veil.

Fine.

If he was gonna be petty and force the plumber to go along with the whole ceremony, thinking Luigi’d be the one to admit he was in disguise, he had another thing coming.

He was a younger sibling, two could play at that game.

“And do you, King Bowser, take this human, to be your awfully wedded partner?”

Bowser chuckled, lifting the veil to smirk at his feisty bride to be. ‘A shame really,’ he thought, looking into the other’s baby blues and reaching a claw towards the medical mask he wore. ‘Red’s brother makes for a pretty cute princess.’

“I do.”

‘Mario’s probably gonna be here any minute. Greenie better hurry up and unmask himself before I do it for him.’

BANG!

Speak of the devil.

The chapel’s double doors slammed open as the older plumber entered the scene. “Let-a go of my-a baby bro, King Koopa!”

“Gwahahaha! Crashing the wedding, Mario? That’s tacky, even for y- GACK!”

Bowser’s monologue was cut short as Luigi yanked the king to his level (having signed the marriage certificate while he was gloating), ripping the medical mask and wig off with a flourish.

“I-a do.”

Without further ado, the dress clad man with a fist full of purple ribbon stared into Bowser’s eyes and gave him the haughtiest look he could muster.

‘Go big or go home,’ Luigi shrugged mentally. And Bowser was the biggest thing in here so...

“Prepara quelle labbra, maritino~.”

“The hell’re you say-MMPPHH?!?!”

“Goodness!” Kamek squawked, everyone else gaping as the two made out at the alter.

Bowser groaned at the feeling of Luigi’s tongue sliding against his own, eyes fluttering shut as his knees went weak, one of them thudding to the ground so he wouldn’t fall over since the plumber was still clinging to his ribbon.

“Hnnnggh.”

Someone coughed in the background.

Oh wow, they were, uh... really going at it.

At least until a pair of comfortable shoes made contact with Luigi’s head. Bowser’s eyes snapped open with a yelp when the shorter man reflexively bit the tip of his tongue.

“Weegee!” Mario waved, tired of awkwardly standing around. Luigi let go of Bowser’s ribbon, the flustered king losing his balance and staggering onto the carpeted floor.

Quickly kicking his high heels off and slipping on the shoes, the green plumber glanced over his shoulder. Bowser felt like he couldn’t breathe as his new consort looked down at him and grinned, figure backlit by the light of chapel’s stained glass.

“See you-a soon, mio re~.”

With a wink and a swish of skirt his skirts he was gone. Mario rolled his eyes at his brother’s performance and sprinted after him, Luigi’s laughter echoing down the hall as Bowser watched in a daze.

BONUS:

luigi is tired emotionally, physically, and mostly because of the wig and high heels

everyone knows luigi’s disguised as peach but bowser isn’t releasing him cuz he wants to humiliate him (it backfires, he’s married now)

mario doesn’t care that they’re married he just doesn’t wanna watch his bro make out with the koopa king

he gets it tho, they’ve discussed bowser’s hotness despite being a bad guy, as siblings sometimes do (personal experience)

luigi’s a younger sibling, his pettiness levels are through the roof

also he’s sarcastic and a little teasing at the end

i wanted to add the koopalings and junior halfway through making this, but wasn’t sure how to do that while also writing bowser and luigi making out

also that’s like 8 more characters and i’m tired lol

translations:

miserabile figlio di puttana = miserable/ petty son of a bitch

Prepara quelle labbra, maritino = get those lips ready, hubby

mio re = my king

[mjonthetrack]

Grown Up 1

“I know you fucking lying,” Camille’s one of a

kind laugh filled the echoing walls of the studio

set up she had at her new job. The woman was

in the process of melting one of Trinity’s wig for

the fight later on, Camille didn’t know a damn

thing about no sports but she did know hair,

and make up, really anything that is made to

create an aesthetic. She was damn near

confused when her agent reached out two

weeks prior about a permanent position at the

WWE. “Wrestling?!,” she had said with a laugh

of disbelief to her agent but soon after speaking

with Paul she happily accepted and now here

she was following every show to serve the

athletes that kept the stands filled. To her

pleasant surprise she knew a few of the

wrestlers already, Trinity had been a previous

client years prior, they’d became friends, and

thus how she knew the men of the infamous

bloodline. Shifting her focus back to her task at hand,

Camille adjusted the last final touches to her

friends edges,” girl that man is gonna turn you

gray early.” Trinity tsks a grin on her face at the

mention of her husband,” he can be a handful

but that’s my baby, forever and always.” Camille

faked a gag,” uh uh keep that sappy shit to

yourself.” Trinity rolled her eyes, standing to

admire her friends work,” Art as per usual, but

don’t think I can’t see through that, girl I know

you get lonely.” This made Camille scoff

playfully swatting her shorter friend, then

turning to sanitize her area and set up her

supplies for whoever was scheduled next,”I’m

perfectly cozy in my penthouse alone, thank ya

boo.” Trinity opened her mouth to bite back but

the door to the woman’s work area swung open

and in came her own husband and a group of

others,” I’ll catch you afterwards bae, we gone

hit up that Brazilian Steak place on fourth, “ the

woman kissed Camille’s cheek leaving out with

her husband who spoke to the stylist on the way

out. “I’m on your three,” a deep voice came and

she felt the shift in her chair as someone had

helped themselves to her chair, she kissed her

teeth,” well hello to you too.” “My bad,” the deep

voice addressed her biting remark, but fell silent

making the woman wrap a cord around a curling

iron putting it away stop to address the new

presence. “Sefa?” She asks her eyes going

wide,” I didn’t know you was here, look at you,

you done grew up on me.” The man froze

hearing her, he squinted and noted her familiar

face, he clumsily lifted out of the chair offering

his hand but then realizing his awkwardness he

cusses under his breath opening his arms,” I

didn’t know you were working here, how are

you?” Camille laughed at his antics,still the

same old clumsy little thing huh?,” her arms

wrap around his waist she hums in approval

at the scent of his cologne,” Dior, good choice

pooh bear.” Sefa groans at the old nickname,

“I’m not a little ass kid no more, I’m a grown

man, and I was told to come back here for

my pre show routine.” Camille raised a brow,

lifting her hands in defense then tapping them

on her chair,” my bad Mr.Man, let me hurry up

for you big dog.” Solo grits his teeth annoyed

with how his words came out, they always

were hard for him to procure when it came

to conversations, especially with her. It was

one of the reasons he was the quiet one out

of his brothers. It was no secret to the bloodline

nor their partners of Solo’s crush on the woman,

it stemmed through her always being around

Jimmy’s gf at the time and now wife, though it

had been since he was 22 when he had last seen

her and damn did she look good. “Thank you

boo,” she smiled at him, Solo’s ears flamed a red

realizing the last part had come out. Praying the

work would go by quickly and when she had

finished his hair she grinned rubbing his

shoulders the action making his throat dry,” it

was so nice to see you, I hope you come out

later, Trinity and Jimmy found this steak place-,”

he just nodded and rushed out to stay on his

time schedule. The woman sighed shaking her

head fondly, he was such a sweet young man

back then when they’d first met, shy and quiet

but he was always polite to her, taking the time

to ask her questions about her interests and well

being. It hadn’t occurred to the woman it was

a clear crush on his end, she was older than

him and at the time Camille was so focused on

pushing her brand out that relationships of any

notion flew under the radar. Her last relationship

was over two years ago and the man was a

burden to her so she dropped him, not to

mention she got tired of perfecting the way to

use her concealer on her bruises.

After Camille finished her roster of wrestlers

and packed away her things she was out the

door to her space. Paul allowed her to sit with

family in a special space ringside, given her

close relationship to the Usos and Trinity. She

watched the last match of the evening being

televised which involved Sefa who was called

Solo and Randy Orton. She cringed at the sight

of the white man he looked like a ogre to her,

but her attention shifted to watching Sefa in

his craft pin and win the fight. Camille grinned

when she caught his eyes after the filming

stopped, she flashed two thumbs up as she

stood with Trinity leaving arms looped together. Orton watched the man’s attention shift noting

the curvy woman,” fuck she’s stunning.” Sefa

was surprised as the words flew from his

own mouth,”she’s taken.” He left out to refresh

to meet up with his family and Camille who

seemed to be gaining the attention of his

coworkers who would shamelessly flirt with

the woman whenever they got the chance but

she didn’t pay them any mind.

When Camille arrived at the steakhouse she

grinned walking to where Trinity was,” hey boo,”

her arms opening to greet the woman. “Bae,

where you been, I haven’t seen you all day,”

Trinity kissed her cheek, the sarcasm causing

Camille to light up the table with her laugh.

“Damn, you just gonna flirt with my wife and

not greet me first,” Jimmy stood with a fake

hurt expression getting smacked playfully by

the stylist,” boy bye,” she hugged the tall man

“What’s up baby mama?,” came Sami’s voice

making Camille laugh and hug the ginger,”

you’re so crazy, it’s good to see you again.”

The friendly flirt didn’t sit well with Solo who

gripped his menu a little too hard. “So you not

gone speak,” came Jey’s voice nudging his

younger brother who realized he was the only

one who’d yet to acknowledge the woman.

He pasted on a professional smile and nodded

in her direction,” my fault Mimi, hey.” Camille

tsks as she found her seat beside his,”now

boy I know you can do better than that,” she

smiled sweetly opening her arms for a hug. He softened but kept his face even as he gave

her a hug, her perfume made his mouth water

but the way her lip gloss glistened on her

full lips made his dick harden slightly,”you

look good Camille.” She smiled at him nudging

his shoulder with hers,” so what we getting to

eat Pooh?”

[heyclickadee]

A rambling thought about “Plan 99” and Omega

Here’s the thing about “Plan 99” that kind of wigs me out—besides all the other things, anyway. I actually really like it as an episode. I think it’s good. It’s painful, but it succeeds at exactly what it was trying to do. It just so happens, however, that what it was trying to do—as far as I can tell, anyway—was put us, the audience in the same emotional headspace as a thirteen-ish year old kid who’s lost everything over the space of a few hours(1). Not even a few hours; Omega was unconscious for a good chunk of the real time that passed after the cable car crash, so aside from her trip and arrival at Mount Tantiss, Omega loses pretty much everything over the course of what probably feels like twenty minutes.

And that means we’re right there with her as she goes from finally maybe having a place to call home, having people to rely on outside the batch, having a friend her own age, having these great established relationships with her brothers and a place for them to be safe, and thinking that finally—finally!—they’re going to get Crosshair back and they’re all going to be a family again, having everything looking up for once, to where “Plan 99” takes us. To the Omega and the team losing their one lead on Crosshair, to losing Tech, to losing Wrecker, Echo, and Hunter, too—the last time Omega saw them, Hemlock had Hunter and Wrecker and was going to get Echo, and then send them all back to Eriadu to be questioned by Tarkin, and Omega knows what that means—to having her fear of ending up an experiment in a tube go from being a distant nightmare to a very real, very immediate possibility. She’s not even allowed to talk to Nala Se, who’s at least a familiar face(2).

The only consolation Omega gets is being reunited with Crosshair, with whom Omega doesn’t really have a relationship, but who’s still her brother despite everything and who would definitely understand what Omega’s going through better than anyone else. Except he’s unconscious and strapped to a table, and Omega doesn’t know what was done to him but she knows it was bad, and there’s a fear of losing him, too. And the only real consolation we get as viewers is seeing Hunter and Wrecker escape, and knowing that they and Echo weren’t taken to Eriadu and are coming for Omega instead—but they’re all gutted and bereft and they have no clue where to even start. So we’re right there with Omega, and right there with Hunter, too, as their worlds fall even further apart.

I’ve said before that I think The Bad Batch is, at heart, the story of a family of veterans trying to find a way to live and a way home, wherever home is, in a galaxy that’s fallen apart and turned into something monstrous around them. And I still think that’s true, but it’s also the story of a little girl finding her family, and who wants to protect her baby brothers. Because, yes, they’re her dads/big brothers/uncles all at once, but there’s a part of Omega that never stopped seeing them as those babies in their tubes. And so, yes, I think we’re going to see Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo enter their John Wick eras trying to get Omega back, but if Omega thinks there’s a chance they’re lost, if she really thinks Tech is lost? If she thinks there’s a chance Crosshair might be the only one left? She’s going to be extra protective of him(3), and if she gets the slightest hope the others are out there, she’s going to go ham trying to get the rest of them back.

1. And without the additional context of whatever season three brings, it maybe succeeds too well. Not maybe—until we get that additional context, it does succeed too well. So I get why there are people who hate it, or who can never watch it again. It hurts, and it’s a little too much like real life grief.

2. Sidebar, but I’m admittedly ambivalent about the timing of the Emerie reveal. I actually don’t mind it, but I feel like it would have been stronger to have left it at “You might know me better than you think,” without the “sisters” line. I don’t dislike it, but I do feel about the same way about it as I did about the Nala Se scene at the very end of “Kamino Lost.” It’s fine on its own, but the imagery of the previous scene—Crosshair watching the marauder fly away, leaving him again, the last clone—the last being—left alive on Kamino, that I would have preferred leaving it there and putting the Nala Se scene (and that specific Emerie line) as an after credits scene or something.

3. I will be seated for Crossdad, but I’ll be extra seated for overprotective older sister Omega.

[multimilfs]

Colette Marchant x Fem!Reader: On The Dotted Line

Summary: Anon sent in... Colette Marchant + 77 -- "I've been thinking about you all day."

AO3

Prompts pulled from the post here!

A/N: It has been ages since I've written for Colette. I think this is my favorite of the ficmas fics I've written so far, honestly. I'm just very proud of this. I hope you all enjoy!!

Full Ficmas List

Tag List: @ghostsunderstoodmysoul @escapetodreamworld @multifandomfix @evil-feather @simplaif @elenaguarnieri @imtrashinflames @nonbinary-cryptid-baby

Warning(s): None

“Ma’am, there’s someone here to see you.” 

Cindy’s voice echoes off the vaulted ceilings from the intercom on your desk. From your position at the window, staring down on the masses exploring Dreamland under an orange sky, you pinch the bridge of your nose and inhale sharply. Exhaling, you use your next breath to take an extra long drag of your cigarette. 

The hands on your watch tell you it’s been only five minutes since the last of the investors left your office, their overpowering cologne and stiff suits testing your nerves almost more than their words. More consumers, more money, less performers—on and on and on for hours. They perfected the art of saying so many words that lack meaning. 

You debate ignoring Cindy entirely. It’s rare, but you could manage it, feigning ignorance later. She’d nod and fill you in on what you missed while her eyes twinkled with knowing. Unfortunately, you can hear a crackle over the intercom, and know she’s waiting for a response. 

Padding with bare feet on the cold stone to your desk, you throw various papers out of the way, and press the button. 

Voice straining you respond, “I’m busy.” 

An intake of breath and you know you’re not getting out of whatever this is. Cindy pauses, then comes down the line again, sounding distracted, and you can imagine her staring intently at whoever is waiting outside the large doors. 

“She says it's an emergency, Ma’am.” 

You drag your hands down your face and blink harshly. Mentally, you send up a prayer for patience, not caring whether a response comes through or not. 

“Send them in please, Cindy.” 

“Yes, Miss Vandevere.” 

The cigarette in your hands is almost completely burnt down but you take a long drag of it anyway. You drop it into the ashtray before the embers sting your fingertips any more, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare out the window again, back to the doors. The view is largely the same from here except for a better angle of the circus tent where Dumbo and Colette will be performing tonight. Stepping back into your heels despite the ache in your feet and turning with a pleasant smile, you banish any longing thoughts of the woman to the back of your mind. 

Only to find her standing in front of you. 

Your mask falters for a second. Remembering that you’re not alone, you maintain your worn smile. Nodding to Cindy in thanks, she takes her leave, shutting the door behind her. 

“Colette,” You breathe, false expression dropping into something genuine and fond, “What brings you here? You’re on soon.” 

“I can go if you’re concerned.” 

There’s an edge to her tone you’re used to hearing directed at everyone else. Crossing around the desk and approaching her slowly, you take her in, admiring the mix of Colette and The Queen of The Heavens in her appearance; red wig and golden headpiece in place, makeup done up to perfection, though she’s still dressed in her usual clothes. 

You take her hands in your own and kiss the backs of them. Her neutral expression doesn’t falter, eyes following you. The set of her shoulders is too tense for your liking. 

“I don’t want that, not even a bit. But you are cutting it close, darling, is something wrong?” You ask softly. 

Colette sighs. Her fingers lace themselves through your own and she stares at them, tracing the connection with her eyes. You wait, though you glance at the clock on the wall frequently. Minutes seem to tick by. 

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” Colette admits, meeting your eyes. 

“Oh?” You grin, “Anything… intriguing?” 

Her lips part in a smile, but it’s not the one you’re used to. It doesn’t meet her eyes. Worry is building in your stomach and you’re shoving worst-case scenarios to the back of your mind. 

“Mon chéri, I think you’ve outgrown Dreamland.” 

Blinking, you back up slightly, though still keeping your hold on her. Your brows furrow as you search her face for some kind of answer. Her face remains impassive, though her eyes are lit with interest. 

You’ve never given thought to leaving Dreamland; it’s your brother’s creation, his life’s work, and you have done everything possible to bring it to life. No matter how many investors and press were thrown your way, you handled it with grace. Over time, you’ve even come to enjoy the anticipation of what will come everyday. 

It isn’t leaving Dreamland that feels difficult, you consider, it’s leaving your brother. Without you, he has no one in his corner. He will be the last man standing to defend Dreamland’s original vision. Could you do that to him, all in the name of furthering yourself? 

“Where is this coming from?” You ask. 

“I’ve thought about it for quite some time, but seeing all you’ve handled in recent weeks… You do so much and receive so little.” 

“Maintaining Dreamland is enough for me.” 

“Is it?” 

“Yes.” You say. 

Snatching your hands away and folding them over your chest, you stare harshly at her. Colette laughs bitterly and shakes her head. 

“Look me in the eyes, mon chéri, and tell me you don’t want more for yourself.” 

You can’t. The two of you know well enough that isn’t possible and it makes you grit your teeth. It feels like a betrayal of your family and all you’ve worked for to walk away… but don’t you deserve happiness beyond stolen moments? 

There’s something in your lover’s face that says she’s not telling you something. She never did answer your question. 

Slowly, you repeat, “Where is this coming from?” 

Colette holds out her hand, palm up. You place your own in it. 

“I overheard a proposal today. A generous donation of funds for… you.” 

You close your eyes against her words. It’s easy to block out every sensation in the room except for her warm hand, holding onto you. You try and fail to pull away from her. Colette pulls you closer, wrapping you in her embrace, and you can’t help but clutch fistfuls of her dress in your hands. 

Every ragged breath you take feels impossibly loud in the cold room. You hold onto Colette like she’s the port in a storm. 

“What did he say?” You whisper. 

“You’re worth more than this place, my darling.” 

“Please.” 

Her hand settles on your back, “He’s having an agreement drawn up tomorrow.” 

You laugh through the tears, a slip of madness working into it. Here you were feeling guilty for considering leaving and your damned brother was preparing to sell you off for his precious Dreamland. He would cart you off to the investors offering the prettiest penny as if you hadn’t built the damn park too. 

Colette kisses your temple. 

“I won’t leave you.” You say. 

“You won’t have to.” 

A piece of paper is pressed into your hand. Looking down at it, your eyes widen; her renewal contract with Dreamland stares back at you, signed and dated on all lines except one. It’s missing the most important signature; yours. 

You pull back and stare at her. The look on her face is genuine this time, as fond as she’ll allow herself to look. 

Somewhere in the fray, her renewal contract slipped through the cracks of your paperwork. She’s free for all intents and purposes. Your smile. It’s possible, after all… it’s not just dreams. 

Leaning your forehead against hers, you smile. 

“When would you like to leave, my love?” You ask. 

“Tonight?” 

Laughing, you shake your head, but steal a kiss, “Consider it done.” 

It’s clear in your mind. The world is your oyster with all of the money you’ve made from Dreamland, stored securely in your own private account. You could live off of that alone for the rest of your days. But you know just as well as Colette does that neither of you are satisfied without something to keep you busy. 

You’ll tell your brother in a letter. If he doesn’t know until you’re gone, his seedy henchmen can’t stop either of you. You’re going to be free. 

Checking your watch, you wince. There’s an hour until showtime. Colette should really be in the tent getting dressed. You only hope that no one is worried enough to call your brother, though you gather his attention might be occupied with visions of grandeur, visions of all he’ll accomplish with the money he’ll never see from getting rid of you. 

“You have a show to put on, Colette.” 

“We have a show to put on.” 

You barely resist the urge to kiss her again. Sending her from your office with smudged makeup might raise a few eyebrows and now is the worst time to draw any attention. Instead, you kiss the back of her hand. 

“To freedom.” You whisper. 

Colette steals the kiss you didn’t, makeup remaining carefully intact, “To freedom.” 

[berrydoodleoo]

The Citadel hallways weren’t hushed anymore. Sure, the main thoroughfares had an echoing quality that made Prompto feel like a kid on a museum field trip, but even those larger-than-life spaces had a certain bustle to them. Secretaries, retainers, big wigs surrounded by crowds of chattering attendants -- they all breezed through, dodging and pinwheeling, with documents tucked under their arms and coffee in their hands. It was the coffee, really, that made things feel real; if not for the sight and scent, Prompto might think he was dreaming.

The hall leading to the King’s Office -- separate from the Audience Hall and Council Chambers where the really official business took place -- was a bit quieter and more sedate, but still busy enough that Prompto caught a few snatches of conversation about ‘tariffs’ and ‘the upcoming Council vote’. And then Prompto stepped into the King’s outer office, exchanging nods with the guards, and the noise fell away.

To reveal Talcott, tapping away at his phone. It disappeared as Talcott hopped to his feet, a practiced smile on his lips -- only to turn into a relaxed grin as he recognized Prompto and dropped back to into his chair with a huff. “Good morning, sir.”

Prompto couldn’t help but smile at Talcott. He’d been the King’s Secretary for months now, and by all rights Prompto should be used to seeing him in a suit -- but something about the sight of little Talcott, all spit and polish, with a crisp new haircut and an expensive watch, made him want to start babbling things like ‘you’re all grown up’ and ‘where did the time go’ and ‘when did you get taller than me’.

Instead, Prompto lifted a hand in a wave. “Hey, man. He busy?”

“Nah, he’s supposed to be eating lunch.” Talcott rolled his eyes a little. “How’d your trip go?”

“Pretty good, I think. We’re gonna need to pick up salvage in the Northern Quarter if we want to get stuff out before it gets overtaken.”

Talcott shook his head in amazement. “Things are growing that fast?”

“Yeah.” Prompto shook his own head, leaning against the doorframe that separated the outer office from the King’s refuge. “You should see it, man, it’s really --” He finds himself getting a bit choked up, and cuts himself off. “Sania says it’s years of growth in the timespan of a few months. It’s amazing. I swear, the grass grew two inches while we were there. And there are animals everywhere.”

Talcott lowered his eyes reverently. “A blessing from the Gods.”

Prompto thought about the man on the other side of the door, somehow saved from a predestined death, and let out a breath. “Yeah.”

Talcott searched his face for a beat, then waved him on. “Go on in, Prompto. Get him to eat something, if you can. Next meeting isn’t for an hour or so.”

“Alright. Thanks, Talcott.” Prompto ducked into the inner office.

It was even quieter than the outer office. Prompto hesitated in the entry alcove -- he could see the empty desk chair and guessed that Noct was sprawled out on the couch -- and was suddenly aware of movement on his left. Atop an antique cabinet, stuffed with mundane office supplies (even The King of all Kings needed pens and highlighters, it turned out) a pale shadow stretched and stood, mrrrrrping? inquisitively.

“Hey there, little mama.” Prompto kept his voice hushed in deference to the napping King, reaching up to pet the little cat. “Where’d your babies run off to, huh? Makin’ mischief?” She sniffed his hand intently before headbutting his fingers and then -- to his quiet delight -- stepped delicately onto his shoulder, settling her warm little weight in his arms.

He occupied himself for a moment, rubbing her cheek and chin, exchanging slow blinks. When he let himself into Noct’s office at last, it was with a very happy little cat purring and leaving white hairs all over his black uniform.

The alcove opened into the main room with a short flight of stairs, lined with fresh flowers in antique vases. There were no railings yet -- Ignis insisted that emergency repairs take priority, and that they not go out of their way to accommodate him, a pronouncement greeted with snorts and Gladio’s drawled yeah, no chance of that, buddy -- and so Prompto watched his feet as he descended, a little dazzled by the morning light and its dappled patterns. Above his head, the rosette window bearing the crest of Insomnia blazed like a beacon.

It was the steps, strangely enough, that always took him back to his first visit to the Citadel in the most visceral way. Maybe because he’d been nervous and staring at his feet the entire time, terrified he’d trip and make a fool of himself somewhow. The memory was half a lifetime away, but still strong enough to send his head spinning. He clutched his purring armful a bit tighter.

“Hey,” he called softly. “You awake, sleeping beauty?”

A pale, elegant hand waved lazily, before tucking itself back beneath dark hair already touched with frost. “I’m awake,” Noct said, yawning.

Prompto found himself smiling, approaching the back of the couch. The cat in his arms jumped down immediately, sniffing at Noct’s upraised knee. At the sight of his King, Prompto’s smile broadened into a grin. “Awwwwwww...!”

Noct yawned again. “Don’t start,” he groused. The tabby kitten stuck out an inquisitve paw, apparently aiming for his mouth, but he jerked his chin aside in a practiced gesture. “You just get back?”

“Yep. Gave Iggy my report already.” Prompto leaned on the back of the couch, feeling a bit goofy at the sight of Noct napping with a pair of kittens asleep on his chest. Noct heaved a sigh, watching him, but his eyes were smiling.

He was still thin -- always forgetting to eat, spending too long staring into space as if watching patterns no one else could see -- and had a constant, quiet poise that his younger self had only manifested in flashes. The kind of thing that was only betowed through suffering and long, lonely Reflection.

But damn, he looked good. With the sun from the rosette window tracing his cheek and jaw, he looked like a dream come true. The stretch of skin from his elbows to his hands was the best kind of tease.

Noct’s smirk widened. “Pet the cat, Prompto.”

“Huh? Oh.” Prompto realized he’d been staring, and that the cat was headbutting his arm insistently, demanding scritches. He obeyed, but turned his eyes back to Noct immediately, devouring him.

Noct aimed a lazy kick at him. “You gonna get down here or what?”

“You gonna eat your lunch or what?” Prompto retorted. He considered vaulting the couch, considered the sleepy kittens, and walked around instead.

“Mm, I’ve got time.” Noct tucked his shins against Prompto’s leg as he sat. “You gonna tell me how it was? Find anything good? Like a copy of AssCreed?”

Prompto laughed softly. The cat headbutted his cheek, and then began stomping all over Noct’s royal body with effortless feline dominion. “Yeah,” he said, hooking an arm over Noct’s upraised knees. “It was pretty good. No AssCreed, though, sorry dude.”

Noct held out a hand for the cat, careful not to dislodge her kittens, and raised his brows commandingly. So Prompto talked, painting him a picture of city ruins erupting into bloom -- saplings erupting from ruined stone paving, flowering vines wrapping around burned rafters, ripe fruit buzzing with bees and fluttering butterflies. And the Last King closed his eyes, listening with a soft smile on his lips, as the morning painted the room in soft shades of light.

[jicklet]

Nancy’s Dreamscape Analysis

(Nancy Drew 2.18 - The Echo of Lost Tears)

Welcome to an attempt to catalogue everything in Nancy’s Dreamscape! For each section, I cover Nancy version, Crew Member version, Location, Door, and Background Items.

It’s under a cut partially for length but also so it can be a living document. I did my best here but I’m just one person, so please feel free to comment with things I might’ve missed!

(Note: I use bang modifiers to refer to different versions of characters. ie. the Nancy who’s mourning her mom is Grieving!Nancy, baby Nance is Baby!Nancy, etc.)

Let’s do this.

Area 1: George + “Dark” Nancy.

NANCY: Nancy “Hudson.” aka Dark!Nancy, the lowest she went and the most lost she felt. It’s interesting that Nancy’s concept of her is different from how she actually appeared in that episode, her her hair is down and her makeup is different. (There is a good chance it may just have to do with the longer wig making it easier to hide Kennedy’s body double.)

GEORGE: This is George from 2.05, specifically from the part when she dies and Nancy resurrects her. Earlier in the episode when they’re all arguing, George is wearing jeans and has her hair up, but she changes to this after escaping watery death in Nick’s truck.

LOCATION: It’s a beach. This was hard to find, but--

It is not the beach where they called to the Aglaeca, but where they interacted with the Aglaeca once cursed: To try to return Lucy’s Bones (2.03) and to attempt to trap her with the dybbuk box (2.04). A big difference is that those events took place at night instead of the daylight we get in the Dreamscape (all images have been lightened considerably).

(I wonder if they just couldn’t get access to the original beach from S1?)

I also don’t want to discount that the way the side shot is framed bears an oddly strong resemblance to Moonstone Island (thanks @naancypants​​!), especially with the items littering the beach. We don’t get that particular framing in 2.03 or 04.

This location does make Dark!Nancy appear very out of place with her fancy attire in the sand, as opposed to every other version of Nancy that’s in a place they’d naturally be found.

Why are we here? I can only speculate, but lets go over what happened on that beach: Nancy didn’t want to use her mother’s bones as a bargaining chip, but grudgingly agreed to try to save her and her friends (which failed). They then tried to outsmart the Aglaeca with the dybbuk box (and failed). Nancy tried appealing to Odette’s humanity (failed in the moment, but key to succeeding later), which led to her friends questioning her judgement (ie ‘Nancy what were you thinking, she could have hurt you’).

Things that led her down the path to becoming Nancy Hudson include going against her own morals, trying to outsmart Everett, appealing to Celia’s humanity, and her friends doubting her judgement.

BACKGROUND ITEMS:

The harpoon that impales George

Lucy Sable’s gravestone

A desk (???) (closer view) (a bunch of desks I found so you don’t have to) Honestly this looks closest to the library help desk to me, but?

An American flag, which we most often see at the police station

The lockers at The Claw: Evocative of, but appears different from when Gil broke into the lockers to steal the shroud, endangering George. Either Nancy’s just not quite remembering right, or her concept of the locker area is just really messy by default).

A couple books (???) next to the door.

THE DOOR: The door to the archive boxes at the Historical Society. A door Nancy was not supposed to go through, but she broke Hannah’s trust and unleashed a lot of bad into the town to save George. She walks through it again, accepting the consequences of that decision.

Area 2: Bess + Kid Detective Nancy

NANCY: Nancy when she solved her first case. Where it all “officially” started, and represents why she’s doing any of this.

BESS: Bess’s meaning is the least obvious of the crew, I’ve seen some different ideas thrown around for it.

Bess is wearing her outfit from 2.01, the first episode of the season and appropriately, when the Wraith attached itself to Nancy. In this episode, Bess:

Got the attention of the Bobbsey twins and the group’s first clue to the Aglaeca

Pushed Nancy on examining her Hudson legacy, which Nancy was avoiding at the time (more detail here)

Was the first to follow Nancy’s lead on remembering good things when they were trying to hide their fear from the Wraith.

Bess has always been the one most open to the supernatural, and usually the one asking “Why” or making sure they’re approaching it the right way, which is also her purpose here.

LOCATION: This version of Nancy is right at home at the place where she solved her first mystery. We approach it from just about the same angle we did in the pilot when Nancy showed us Gomber sneaking in there.

Check out the left side: As opposed to reality, the dreamscape fence is actually just that one section, it stops. Yet Nancy still enters properly through the gap.

BACKGROUND ITEMS:

Nancy’s corkboard with her achievements is outside on the fence (and also inside on the fence. It flips around to follow her). It appears to be the version of it just before she tore it up in 2.14.

Features from the wall in The Claw next to the kitchen window (though interestingly, they’re on the wrong wall, which extends over where the window would be)

Ace’s car (which she just spent an overnight drive in)

A table from the morgue, where in 1.02 just like this warehouse, she snuck in somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be in pursuit of the truth. But that time she got in way more trouble than being grounded.

(hey is Nancy ever gonna finish her community service hours, or did Connor the coroner just let her off the hook for saving his son)

The jukebox from The Claw. You can actually hear the song that Celia + Nancy danced to together when they lost their memories playing faintly at the beginning of this scene. (Break It to Me Gently by Ramona Reed) AND it stops right after kid!Nancy says “Someone who lies... steals... gets people killed.”

^My friend who doesn’t have a tumblr pointed out that the jukebox is on the opposite side of the fence, where our Nancy came from and closer to Nancy Hudson. There’s also probably something to the visual of not seeing the jukebox until it’s fenced off in the past, too.

Lucy’s creepy children’s rhyme is on the wall

A pile of barrels. Ones similar to these are present at the original warehouse, but in a different location.

DOOR: District Attorney Rosario’s office. The door Nancy walked through to recant her testimony against Everett Hudson, shattering a big piece of her identity. And she’s gotta accept that decision and walk right through that door again to move forward.

Area 3: Nick + Grieving Nancy

NANCY: At her mother’s funeral, when she felt like nothing would be okay again and stopped looking for mysteries.

NICK: He’s wearing the outfit from their very first meeting, which marks when Nancy first started to feel hope again. He all but literally pulled her out of her mother’s grave there. This time, she’s still got his support, but she has to do it herself.

Dreamscape!Nick tells her: “But I’m still here, with you.”  Possibly a dual meaning: That original version of Nick & the help he gave her, as well as Nick himself in the present, who is still there as her friend.

LOCATION: Kate Drew’s grave at the cemetery. It’s more peaceful than it was in reality, you can’t see where cars are supposed to be. 

BACKGROUND ITEMS: We’re a lot less cluttered here.

Nancy’s desk is beyond Nick + grieving Nancy

Another desk/table (???) is behind Nancy after she climbs out of the grave (again, here is my desk collection). The closest is the one where her and Nick were searching the records together on their last day as a couple, and I really wish it was that one because that would fit so well. Ah well.

THE DOOR is the door the The Claw, which is always closed for inventory, or perhaps a private party. I was going to drag Nancy for never wanting to actually work, but then I thought of an actual reason.

"And... the only thing making it any better is you."

Nancy did genuinely care about Nick, but she was also using him as a way to escape the reality of where she was at in life. Working at The Claw felt beneath her. Walking through that door now could stand for accepting where she’s at and moving forward with her life, just as it is.

Area 4: Ace + Baby Nancy

LOCATION: The bluffs. The cliff where Lucy died, and where Nancy almost died to the Aglaeca.

BACKGROUND ITEMS

Podium with ship steering wheel that sits at the entryway to The Claw.

Creepy dolls hang from the trees: From Simon’s shrine tree. (thank you @the-magnificunt�� and @acenancy​!)

Something (???) on the horizon behind Ace. It’s light at the beginning, then after baby!Nancy appears in present!Nancy’s arms, it’s darker and a little closer. At that point it kind of looks like a ship, maybe the Bonny Scot? (connection to the steering wheel on the podium?) (Now I’m just guessing, let’s move on) ** It’s entirely possible this was just something that was there during filming, but it would’ve been easy for them to paint out, so I included it in case.

NANCY: Baby Nance. Who isn’t even present at first; in order to find this version of herself Nancy has to accept her, and start down the path to loving that very complicated part of herself.

This section is also the first to have two parts, because every other crew member interacts with the version of Nancy on their own. George knocks out Dark!Nancy, Bess holds Kid!Nancy’s hand, Nick hugs Grieving!Nancy. But here, Baby!Nancy is put into Present!Nancy’s own arms, and she can’t move forward like that. Nancy has to be the one to ask Ace for help. Ace is there and he accepts immediately once she asks, but she does have to reach out and ask.

ACE: Dreamscape!Ace is wearing the outfit from 2.12 when Nancy sacrificed her integrity to save his life. Was it worth what it cost her? Nancy’s mind thinks so; again, her vulnerability is the key to moving forward.

But something else that’s interesting, real life Ace was also dressed pretty similarly to that episode, and I don’t think this costuming department does coincidences. A hint that real life Ace isn’t too far from his Dreamscape counterpart?

THE DOOR: This door matches the door to Nancy’s room (specifically the inside, the outside is different), and her closet door.

If it’s the closet, possible callback to the Whisper Box (1.13) and the decision she made there to walk through the door and move on with her life.

If it’s her bedroom door, possible callback to when Nancy found out the truth about her birth (1.17); she closed that door in Carson's face and ran away. This fits with what she admitted here about feeling like she was broken from the start ever since she learned that truth. Now, she opens the door and moves forward.

(I’m personally leaning towards the second one but, why not both?)

Area 5: The Wraith + Full Nancy Party

LOCATION: Icarus Hall. The last time Nancy was here, her blood and connection to Temperance was also key to ending a curse. The Icarans who survived that curse also went on to become The Road Back, who killed Celia for helping Nancy.

ITEMS:

Nancy’s journal is ripped up and scattered across the ground. Her journal is her private space, where she connects the dots on her mysteries, but she’s also used it to keep things safe (like her mother’s letter). The journal basically IS Nancy’s headspace, invaded and ripped apart by the wraith.

We’ve seen Nancy’s journal be corrupted twice before: First when Karen read it without Nancy’s permission and used it to get Carson arrested, and later after Nancy refocused on bringing Everett to justice— not necessarily jail. (Similar to something she had previously took Karen to task for: “So you thought that Ryan deserved to die, because you were tired of how the world works?”)

Now, cutting her ties to the wraith spills blood on the pages, in a shot that is oddly evocative of George’s harpoon staining Odette’s love letters (another treasured object inadvertently ruined by its owner).

Temperance’s Knife appears in Nancy’s hand. It’s appropriate that the item that helped bring the wraith about also ends it, but the knife has also been seen in Nancy’s dreams before: In Everett’s hand, when he sliced Nancy’s throat in her nightmare.

Flowers bloom on the wraith’s tree.

In 3.01, Nancy mentions that she buried the wraith under lotus blossoms. This article has a lot of interesting facts about them, but here are the highlights:

The lotus blossom is considered one of the most sacred plants in the world. It often represents life, death, rebirth, purity, and spiritual enlightenment.

The flower itself "has a life cycle unlike any other plant. With its roots latched in mud, it submerges every night into river water and miraculously re-blooms the next morning, sparklingly clean."

Also has a fascinating will to live. A lotus seed can withstand thousands of years without water, able to germinate over two centuries later.

And one last delightful detail: The shot when Nancy wakes up is a reference to when Dorothy wakes up from Oz. ♥

And that brings us to the end!

Hope this was helpful! Please feel free to comment if you caught anything that was missed, an alternate explanation for something, or if you have any ideas for the remaining mystery objects.

[rockthingsbymeg]

(Not so) ruined surprises

Guns N’ Roses Christmas special - fic no. 3

Pairing: Axl Rose x female reader

Summary: based off the prompt -  “What no that’s not daddy, that’s Santa”

Info: 1455 words; fluff; Axl is the father he deserves to be;

A/N: Hey guys, since I’ve literally forgotten to post these, I’m going to give you guys a little spam through the day with the ones I’ve written already <3

It was the first Christmas Y/N and Axl spent with their daughter. She was only eleven months old, so small and fragile, and she was the absolute light in their lives. She had fiery red hair like her father, and his somewhat soft and yet shape facial feature overall, but her eyes and her lips were just like Y/N's.

She was a curious kid, always crawling or speeding around in her tiny legs until her parents caught her. They could not leave her alone for a second, especially during Christmas, as there was a huge chance someone would accidentally step on her.

Y/N's mother was entertaining her, sitting on the couch with her favourite toy and bouncing her gently on her legs, giving Axl the perfect opportunity to put his plan into practice.

As soon as his daughter had her attention on someone other than her parents, they both sneaked upstairs. Axl wasted no time getting into his Santa Outfit, fake belly and all, while Y/N helped him out, giggling at the sight of her husband doing his best to hide his copper hair, but small strands always falling from beneath the white, curly wig.

“Can you please help me?” His voice was a mix between laughter and frustration, which made Y/N laugh even more before she walked up to him and did her best to get every hair underneath the wig. “Do you think she'll like this?” His smile was wide as he looked at himself in the mirror, completely unrecognizable under the suit.

“Honey, you've seen how happy she gets at the mall when she sees someone dressed as Santa. She'll love it. Especially when you give her all those presents.” Y/N's tone was soft and reassuring, eyeing the red bag filled with her baby's presents.

“God, I hope so. Otherwise, I'm just making a huge fucking fool of myself...” He chuckled, blowing a curl from his face only for it to fall right back into place.

“You are.” She laughed, pecking his lips, and finally letting go of the wig, not one red hair picking from underneath it. “But it'll be worth it.”

Axl turned to the mirror and eyed himself up and down, putting in a small pair of fake, round glasses and then turning to Y/N, extending his arms and giving her a proud smile. “How do I look?”

Y/N's eyes raked Axl's body, taking every single careful detail in. His suit was absolutely perfect, enormous on his slender figure, as well as the boots on his feet. He had gone a long way to find the most perfect suit to surprise their little girl, and he sure had succeeded.

“You look perfect, Santa.” Her smile was genuine as she leaned over and pecked his lips, chuckling as the fake, white beard got in the way but not stopping them.

“Great.” He smiled back, stroking her arm gently and then tilting his head toward the door. “Now go ahead and go down, and I’ll be there in a while.”

Y/N nodded and smiled at him one last time before leaving their bedroom. The baby laughter echoing around the house warmed her heart more than she could ever explain, and her smile got twice as wide when she came down to see her daughter in her red little dress, crawling away from her grandmother as fast as she could.

Y/N made her way to her daughter, gently picking her up and poking her nose with the tip of her finger. “And where are you going, little girl?”

Her daughter pointed excitedly at the window, bouncing in her mother’s lap and smiling. “Snow!”

Y/N glanced out of the window to see their windowsills covered in snow and new flakes increasing the pile. “No, baby, you can’t go to the snow now.” Her daughter’s lips immediately curled into a frown, but Y/N knew exactly how to pick up her mood. “But now it’s gift time, sweetheart. And you know who gives us gifts right?” Her smile was just as wide as her daughter’s, who was once again bouncing on her mother's grip, snow completely forgotten upon hearing the word gifts.

“Santa! Santa!” Her big eyes immediately began looking around, so full of hope to see the big man in a red suit that always put a huge smile on her small lips.

“That's right, baby, Santa is coming. With all your gifts, ‘cause you've been a very good girl for mommy and daddy, haven't you?” Y/N began making her way closer to the tree, turning her daughter away from the staircase so Axl could come down without being seen.

He walked down short seconds later, having been hearing his girls talking downstairs so he'd have somewhat of a cue of when it was safe to go down. He made as little noise as he could coming down and walking out of the main door, ringing on the bell rather than going down the chimney. Surely their little daughter wouldn't care about those details, which he was extremely thankful for.

He closed the door and rang the bell, smiling as he heard Y/N's voice getting closer and closer, along with their daughter's as she continuously yelled Santa! at the top of her small lungs.

As soon as the front door was open, the little girl extended her arms towards him, bouncing in Y/N's tight grip, begging wirelessly to be picked up. Axl gladly picked his daughter up, making sure she wouldn't grab his fake beard and blow his cover, smile wide under the white hairs as he said in the lowest tone he could muster, yet still making it sweet “Ho, ho, ho! You must be Maya, am I right?”

His little girl nodded with all her might, though she had a small frown in her brows, her small eyes scanning Axl's face closely and intently.

“You know what I got for you, Maya?” He kept his tone, gently bouncing the girl on his arms in an attempt to bring her smile back, his own brows curling into a frown. “I got you a loooot of presents.” He said merrily, pointing to the big, red bag behind himself. “All for you.”

Maya didn't seem too excited about the gifts, not even when Axl picked the bag up and stepped inside the house, escaping the cold. He placed the bag on the floor again, opening it and letting his girl take a look at all the boxes inside, almost full to the top with toys and other gifts that she needed.

Her big eyes were still on him as she placed a hand on his cheek and looked carefully into his eyes, looking back at her mother and then pointing at him.

“What is it, baby? It’s Santa!” Y/N gently stroked her daughter's back and worriedly looked at her face, trying to understand what was wrong.

“No.” Her daughter shook her head quickly, looking at Axl and pushing her face closer to his, looking into his green eyes and letting her small index trace his lips. “Daddy.”

Y/N suppressed a booming laugh at the astonished look on her daughter’s face, shaking her head and taking her in her arms, pointing at Axl. “That's not daddy, sweety, that’s Santa.”

“No, daddy.” She protested, reaching forward towards her father and placing her finger rather harshly under his eye. “Green. Daddy green too.”

“Santa has green eyes as well, little girl.” Axl tried to keep the mask, but he knew it would be useless. Once their daughter got an idea in her head, it was impossible to convince her of anything else.

“Smell like daddy.” She protested once more, reaching for his beard and pulling it down before anyone could stop her. “Daddy!” Her smile was once again back in her face, her arms reaching for Axl one more time. “Daddy!”

No matter how hard they tried, no one could contain their laughter anymore. Axl picked his daughter in his arms and gave her a careful yet tight hug, stroking her soft hair under his fingertips before picking up the bag of presents and dragging it under the tree, sitting down with her and with Y/N by their side, letting his little girl roam through the bag and pick whatever caught her eye.

His head briefly turned to Y/N, watching her closely as her eyes were glued on their daughter, happily tearing wrapping paper apart and doing her best to open all the boxes, though she knew one of them would have to step in at a point and help her.

Before she could, however, Axl leaned down and pulled her for a gentle kiss, smiling so widely his cheeks truly hurt. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“Merry Christmas, Axl.”

------

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, reblogs, comments and any kind of way you show me you liked this are endlessly appreciated💛

Requests are closed.

Taglist: @curly-hudson; @agroupiewhore; @littlemisscare-all; @metalheartofgold​

Check out my masterlists for more Guns N’ Roses content (here, here, and here) and everything else that I’ve posted to celebrate Christmas.

[woahitslucyylu]

NSFW Alphabet - Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens

Author’s Notes: A few days late, but here it is. I write my alphabets as if I am talking to my frands (which I am), so enjoy it, loves! 

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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Don’t expect much if it’s casual - you knew what it was when he was two fingers deep in the Uber. He will be polite, cordial, and a decent host, but don’t expect to lay up. He will absolutely ask you for your number, because he loves options, and is generous to his friends - passing along recommendations of girls worth remembering, buttttttttt, frand, if he loves you…

You. Are. A. Motherfucking. Princess.

He will shower you with cum and cuddles and then leave you to soak in the jacuzzi tub while he rubs your shoulders. He’s a Daddy, so he’s going to take care of you in all aspects after an intense session.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Erik’s favorite body part is his face. His smirk is predatory. A glinting gold-fanged smile leaves a lasting impression.

On his partner, he loves thick - here, there, and everywhere. Big boobs, fat ass, thick thighs - love, love, love; whether it is one or all. Erik is a hunk - muscles for days, and he will easily handle allllll you have to offer.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum)

Anywhere you let him?

He’s a freak, so it’s been all over your body. His favorites though are in you and your face. He is really into ownership and dominance, and when he has you in the most vulnerable positions, that’s when he gets off the most.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He lost his virginity late - 17, a week before his senior year of high school started. A girl three blocks down from the corner store in his hood. She stayed with her grandma and he had to sneak in through the window. He didn’t start fucking until college and well, those scars are from killing pussies too. Meme

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s for the streets, unless you’re the real deal. Erik is incredibly loyal, because he expects it from you - a true ride or die. If he’s not in a relationship though, well, he’s running trains.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Back shots are his go-to. Watching your ass bounce against his chiseled hips, your lips stretching over him as he glistens from you will have his eyes hooded as he grips your hair reminding you to be a good girl.

Sliding behind you while you do your make-up, hair in a bonnet leaves you late at least twice a week. He presses his dick into your ass as his hands cup your breasts through your chenille robe.

“Just the tip, ma. Just let me feel you.” Pro-tip: It’s never just the tip.

But, even Kill needs intimacy from his girl though, sooo…

If your Baby Girl, he will slow stroke you so deep with your legs draped over his shoulders as he says you look so pretty taking your dick. The pad of his thumb pressed against your throbbing nub. He will bury his face in your neck - nipping your tender skin and burying himself in you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Erik finds humor in your proverbial suffering, when you’re whining and whimpering for more or for a break, but he isn’t cracking jokes and dropping one liners.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s groomed and he smells like a man. I get Dior Sauvage vibes from him.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

This is a privilege, but if you’re lucky enough, you’re spoiled. Candles lit, flowers, soft sheets, expensive lingerie - making love is an art for him. He will degrade you in the most loving way as he lets you cum first, second, and third. Your pleasure and your worth make him feel like a man. Loving you correctly is a source of pride for him, and that means you are emotionally taken care of, even in the nastiest scene.

J = Jack/Jill Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When you first teased at a FaceTime show, you didn’t know you’d love it so much. Watching Erik left you so overwhelmed, you came hard - moaning his name as you pushed the toy in and out. He loves when you initiate. Knowing you want him validates him and indulging you is something he enjoys doing, so when he’s away for business, he treats you to the shows.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Sex is Erik’s kink. There is very little he doesn’t enjoy in the pursuit of pleasure. Not surprisingly, kinky Kill is reserved for his girl only. It’s a privilege to be tied up in his bed as his heavy hands run over your body, whispering the filthiest thoughts. It’s a privilege to role play in the bar on a spur-of-the-moment trip to New York with a blonde wig and end up bent of the bathroom sink as the game melts into real fucking. It’s a PRIVILEGE to have his submission - the times when he sinks on the bed, calling you with a finger, and he begs you to ride him leave you with heart eyes as you sink onto him, getting drunk on his moans as your ass bounces against his thighs.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Erik is a sucker for baecation sex.

Your melanated skin sparkles in the sun as you lay topless in the southern Pacific sun. The ocean breaks gently against the private dock and the soft R&B lulls your eyes shut behind your large sunglasses. Erik leaned against the door frame, watching your curves against the aquamarine seascape and his dick throbbed. He finished the rum - the sweet liquid icing his throat as he swallowed thickly and padded to your lounged body. His dick rested heavy against his thigh, already hard under his swim trunks, as his hulking frame shadowed you.

“Babe, what are you doing?” You raised your glasses and squinted in the bright sun - a wide smile on your face. He dropped between your knees - your legs falling open to accommodate him as his fingers danced over your warm skin. Your breath caught as the pad of his thumb brushed over your nipple - raising it under his touch, “Oh, so we’re doing that?” You mocked as he lifted your leg over his shoulder, his breath warm against your now-wet bikini bottoms.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Erik’s motivation in life is to dominate, and in the bedroom, that’s no different. He wants to own you in every sense of the word, and vice versa - he wants to be owned by you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Cleanliness is next to godliness, so anything that is actually dirty, Erik is not into. On another note, disloyalty, shadiness, or any evidence of fuckery really just piss him off.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Not all pussy gets eaten, and that’s just really how it is, but for you, giving head is Erik’s solution to most problems and you don’t hate it. Bad day at work? Need attention? Broke a nail? All of it can be solved with his mouth. He loses his breath at the sight of your sticky lips and swollen clit as he brushes his nose against your folds before licking, sucking, and kissing all the places that make your pussy cry with joy.

Overpowering Erik’s dominance is rare, but you on your knees will make him relax and watch as you take him down your throat, gagging and slurping, as your tongue slides over each vein, swirling his mushroomed tip against your full lips. His hand will fist your hair, holding you still, as he thrusts into your throat - saliva dripping as you moan against him. The vibration leaves his dick throbbing as he lets you swallow, greedily enjoying your prize, hard earned from Daddy.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

There’s a time and place for it all and Erik reads the room.

You’ve been acting out, talking shit in front of his friends, kissing your teeth, and stomping through with a bratty attitude, and the only remedy for you is arched on the bed as his heavy hand lands hard on your ass and thighs. The cracking sound of your skin echoes through the room as you count in a weak voice - wetness pooling between your thighs, as he spreads your cheeks. “You just fucking up, so Daddy can fuck you up? Hmm?” He questions as he pushes into you. His question answered with a string of curses sprinkled with moans. “Don’t got shit to say now that I’m deep in my pussy, huh?” He fists your hair, holding you against the comforter, “If you wanted a little dick, just say it, ma.” His chuckle is sinful as his hips snap against you making you forget why you ever had an attitude in the first place.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

If Erik wants you, he will have you. Periodt.

The same, however, also goes for you, and the moments when you just. can’t. wait. leave Erik bustin’ earlier than he wants.

As Erik reached for the door, the locks snapped, leaving the door shut as he tossed you a side glance. This was the fourth stop of the night and your eyes were glassy from liqour as Erik shuffled you between kickbacks. “Come here,” Your hands reached for him, sliding down his t-shirt, resting on his crotch. “Just let me touch it, daddy.” You stretched the syllables as you pulled at his belt, urging it lower. “Come on, no one can see.” His hips rose, jeans sliding down as you pulled him from his boxers. “I just want a little bit.” Your hand jerked him slowly as you slid over him - your thick thighs pressing against the console and the door. He pulled his bottom lip through his teeth - his golds glittering - as you sank slowly onto him. “Just a little bit? You taking the whole thing,” His shirt was pulled under his chin as he watched his dick disappear into you with each rock. “It’s mine. I can take it all.” Your head lazed as Erik’s powerful thrusts took over and your soft moans filled the car.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Erik’s whole life is a risk, sex isn’t any different. Threesomes, orgies, tying people up, being tied up - all of it can find a place in his life.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Realistically, he can go two-three times in a row. During a day, you could give it five or six times if you really wanted it.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Toys aren’t for children and Erik uses them to his advantage. Plugs, vibrators, ties, restraints, lube - all in the drawer beside the bed waiting to be chosen to work your body into a puddle.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Before Erik, you never knew the beauty and power in a delayed release, and with Erik as a teacher, you learned the lessons of edging quite well. He’s a general tease - the build up is half the fun, and unless you’re being punished, he always delivers for you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Erik is nasty and his words alone leave you dripping. His dirty talk is another level of freak, and he leaves you speechless when he says things like…

“Is this my pussy, ma?”

“Your shit drippin’ all over me.”

“Where did you learn to suck dick like this, baby girl?”

“Come on, give me my nut.”

“This tight pussy all mine.”

“Daddy knows the spot, ma.”

The filth that falls from his beautiful mouth leaves you begging for more, but the only thing that matters to you are his moans - hard earned and coveted from being a good girl. The throaty sounds that escape as he bottoms out or you squeeze him gently leave you panting and craving more.

Your acrylic nails raked over his scars - a sharp hiss escaping his mouth - as he pulled your leg over his hip, deepening his thrust. A flex of your walls shut his eyes - a guttural moan slipping out as he stilled himself above you. Your eyes drank in the heavenly sight above you. Loose dreads hung over his face, his lip caught between his teeth - his amber eyes glazed, “Quit playing, baby.” It was barely a whisper as he pulled back, slowly inching from you, when you squeezed him again and another moan echoed through the room.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Intimacy, for Erik, comes in the form of non-sexual activities. Almost anyone can get the dick, but not everyone gets their hand held at the Farmer’s Market while he shops trendy black-owned farms for fresh vegetables, not everyone gets to drive him to urgent care when he chilled with a fever, and not everyone gets the privilege of cleaning on Saturday mornings with 70s funk narrating the choice to use Fabuloso or Pine Sol.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

8-9 inches

Thick

Curved

It bounces when he walks

And it smells good.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He enjoys sex and it keeps him even. He wants you all the time. Of course, there’s real life responsibilities, but in the house, if he wants you, he will take you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

This is assuming he only has sex at night or in a bed, but generally, he sleeps when he wants to and that includes after sex too.

[msgrumpygills]

I think Jared has more crazy and arrogant Stans and those Stans have superiority complex like Jared. I have seen many Jared fans shitting on Jensen bc Jensen is not the lead on a show and he's just gonna be a side character in The Boys, but Jared has his own show Walker and he is the lead there so that makes Jared more successful and an A-list actor. They were actually using the same arguments about SPN, saying Jared was the number #1 on the callsheet.

I can't begin to explain how wrong that is, and i can't begin to point out how wrong their opinions are. They think being on a failing show as a lead is the proof of success, they don't even realize that to a larger extent Jensen's career will get more recognition with The Boys (a successful show liked by the critics and got to be nomited for the Emmys and were praised, meanwhile Jared stands tried soooo hard to put Walker on the Emmy nominations... which was really ridiculous and an epic failure).

They think their echo-chamber Jared wank is the proof of realities and of world. They think just because they try so hard to make Walker seem good, that proofs that Walker is a successful show. Nevermind that outside of Jared stans' echo chamber, Walker basically gets no praise or recognition on the media or by the critics. They think just because they are stanning for Jared makes Jared truly the #number 1 best at anything!.... but the realities don't work like that. Any logical person with a brain could see that Jared's shitty mantrums and his twitter meltdown was pathetic and unproffessional. Outside of Jared Stans' ankle, people will look at Jared's behaviour and see how mess of a person he is.

Not to mention their attempt at making everything Jensen's mistake and trying to portray Jensen and everyone else as backstabbers. Oh, really? So, Jared gets to be the number1 all the same, gets to make everything about himself when it comes to SPN and everything else, but when Jensen gets to do something about SPN and his character (Dean), wooooo what a bad person Jensen is!!1!!1! Burn him at the stake!

It seems like they truly have a superiority complex going for them and it fits with the overall image of Jared's. He also tries to make everything about himself and be innocent UwU baby boy when in actuality he's basically a man child.

I can't wait to see Jared stans shitting on Jensen and Jensen fans once The Boys season3 is out. They will continue to spew bullshit about Jensen and start to invoke drama there as well and say 'how Jensen is a failure or not as successful as Jared because he's not a lead and does not have his own show'.

Their echo chamber will never end. They'll continue with excusing every one of Jared's shitty and obvious crappy behavior, and continue to just destroy everyone else's fun. Whether be about Jensen's role on The Boys and his production company Chaos Machine or his work with the prequel, or something else really.

So, get ready because we will see more of their wank, toxicity and shittiness in the coming days.

When it comes to Jared stans, look at their role model. Mimicry is the sincerest form of flattery and all, right? I think arrogant and having a superiority complex are perfect ways to explain them! 

I’m not involved with acting and never have been, outside of a sketchy audition but that’s not relevant! Being first on the call sheet means that you’re the first person being billed, right? And I don’t remember (it’s been a long time since I watched Supernatural) but I could have sworn that the credits said “Starring Jensen Ackles”? That could be wrong so I apologize for that one! 

I think all of this has been showcasing how different J2 are when it comes to decisions and strategy. Jensen (seemingly, I don’t hangout with him so wouldn’t know the deets) took his time with work post Supernatural. I know he announced it fairly early, but he didn’t start actually working for a while. Again, I don’t know the deets so he might have been working on this for months beforehand with Kripke. Now sure, it wasn’t a “starring role” and it wasn’t a show “made for him”, and I know the Jared stans love to bring that up and that Jensen is just a guest star and yadda yadda. But what better way to get your foot in the door and market yourself to other potential employers and show off your chops to some big-wigs, than to get a fairly big role on an already loved show that just so happens to have Emmy noms? 

On the other hand, you have Jared who was chomping at the bit the be a “lead” and a “star”, so much so that he replaced Jensen with himself as the role of Walker. Technically, him wanting to be the start was also exhibited in the finale and how that was handled, but you get what I mean. What did that get him? His stans being deluded into thinking that he’s more successful because he’s starring in his own #1 show. 

I can vouch for the fact that being outside of the fandom, I’m realizing just how little people actually care about J2 and Supernatural. Yes, they have big followings, but the fans act like they’re at the level of the Marvel actors or something.  It also doesn’t help that outside of the fandom, the general consensus is that Jared is a douchebag with a tragic hairline and a fake looking wife. He’s not the big star that everyone in his echo-chamber think he is. 

I wonder how the stans will react when everyone inevitably loves Soldier Boy and the articles that will be published about how great he is doing. I’m sure they’ll find something to try and use against him or to tear him down. 

[dnarez]

In Need Of Help

Summary:

Pro hero Shinso is in need of more evidence to get a crazy man that has been eating pieces of people, he would do anything for some help.

[This is a gift for my followers in all platforms, forgiving me so much views, kudos, votes and followers in all my accounts, I'm very thankful for everything, so here's a little something]

...

His heels clicking on the pavement and a nearby bar was the only things that were making noise on that, cold and dark night.

Shinso knew that he shouldn't be there, even if now he was a licensed Pro Hero, he needed this, only one more information, one last victim, one small proof, and the case would be over.

That damn monster that lurks around every hour of the day would be behind bars, but for that to happen, for the victims to be able to sleep without a care in the world, he needed to do this, he needed to be here.

Here, in the middle of nowhere, with no backup, and cross dressing.

Someone, a monster, had been eating people, but only bits of them, the Thing would cut a piece of the victims body, sometimes a few pieces, normally from the legs or the arms. It didn't matter if you were woman or man, the Thing loved juicy and savory meat. By what the victims told him, they would be sedated on the area and cut open, the 911 would be called by their own cellphone, and a voice would ask for help, they probably used a voice modifier.

The Thing was described as a big and scary humanoid lizard, with golden scales all over their body, by the looks of it, the Thing was a male, but Shinso thought otherwise, he thought about what the victims said that happened before the attacks, sometimes a person would call for help, others were tapped on their shoulder, some were asked directions or the time, and others were asked if they wanted to have some "fun". But from all those times a female voice was permanent, the police said that it could be the work of two people, but that seemed very unlikely, since every single one of those victims said that it was only one voice, only one monster.

And now Shinso was walking around dressed as a woman, going through the almost empty streets, since most of their victims were female, he decided to make himself an easier bait.

'From 999 victims more than 80% were women, I hope this works'

By using a tight fit sweater like dress, some leggings, a wig and some make up Shinso looked just like any other women going home late at night

'I can't be too confident' he curved his body around the purse, looking down to the ground and trying to walk fast through the dark streets.

When walking by the bar some drunk men whistled and grabbed his arm "Come on sweetie we can have some fun with each other, why don't you look at me?"

The smell of cheap beer was sickening, but Shinso couldn't drop the act and punch that man's face, so he started to struggle against the drunk, with a choker that modified his voice to of a female, he said "LET ME GO!" The high pitched voice echoed throughout the empty street.

The drunk man pulled him closer, since Shinso was using heels he lost his balance and couldn't pull his arm from the man's grasp, who started to grope his ass "Ooooh! What a nice ass! You must go to the gym, come on~ I just want to have some fun with you baby"

"I said-!"

Suddenly the grip on his ass and arm was released, a humanoid dragon with golden scales, horns coming from their hair and was 5 meters tall held the drunk by his neck.

Shinso looked shocked at their size.

"The lady told you to let her go" the sweet and feminine voice didn't fit that thing.

The drunk was put on the floor, she glared at him "get out of here before I change my mind" he run back to the bar.

Shinso was still in shock looking at her "Y-you..."

The humanoid picked up his purse and gave it back to him.

"Y-you-... I-I-I..." Shinso sighs and calm himself down "thank you!" He smiled at her, and see she smiles back.

"Do you need help? This place is always a dessert at this hour, I can take you to your home"

'Bingo!' Hitoshi has to hold himself to not smile in victory "I don't want to bother you!" He says with a sickly sweet voice, and looks away playing that he's a shy girl.

"It won't be a bother, two women waking around is better than one alone, I know my way around here pretty well, why don't you tell me where you live so that I can take you there."

He nods and tells a hotel address.

"Oh! I'm also staying there! What floor you are in?" The tip of her tail is sawing lightly

"3rd floor"

She gasps and puts her hand on her chest "Me too! Let's go! You must be tired!"

He nods and smiles.

They walk side by side, but then she huffs and looks at the sky "I can take you there faster if we fly, I'm too lazy to walk" she picks him up with her tail around his waist and puts him on her shoulders.

"W-wait!" But she doesn't listens, and her size gets bigger, now she's 11 m.

With too much easiness you, the dragon humanoid, fly up in the air, over the city.

He holds tight to your horns, wait... the victims told them that it was a lizard looking person, the Thing could distort their voice, he just-... he got the wrong person, as you glide through the sky his wig fly away, he shrieks, panicking.

You laugh at him "You should have used that weird hair glue man"

"Y-you knew!?" He looks at you surprised.

"Of course! Your natural body odor can't be hidden by a mere cheap perfume"

Shinso blushes heavily. "I'm sorry I confused you with the cannibal that is running around eating people" he looks down at your scales and is impressed by their glow.

"You're not the first cutie, now why don't you tell me your name?"

Hitoshi covers his face with one hand. "You can call me MindJack, it's my hero name"

You nod and shook yourself "hold on, I'm gonna dive!" He holds tightly on your horns as you nose dive till you were next enough from the building you transform to a smaller dragon when you land on the roof. "You can let go now"

He releases you and step back, but falls on his ass since he was using heels.

"Hey... your cute!" You get close to his face, close enough that he can feel your breath.

Blushing heavily he gets up and nods to her "Thank you but I-" he notices he's necklace activated and turns it off "Thank you, but I have to go" your face lights up when you hear his voice "I really need some evidence on that guy".

"I can help you then" you state simply

"What!? NO! You are a civilian, how can you help me?" Hitoshi crosses his arms

"Because, my dear pro hero, you are trying to capture my good for nothing brother" you start pacing around him, about 2 m of distance.

"How do I know that you're saying the truth?" Shinso squint his eyes at you "you could very well be lying"

You nod, stopping in front of him "I can show you where he puts the meat that he doesn't eat"

"I thought he ate all of it"

You shook your head "He likes to put it away, like a prize, know what I'm saying?"

Shinso nods "let's go to the police station and-"

You flare up at that, now a pose extremely intimidating, with your wings open and tail waving around, nervous. "I think the fuck not! You are going to find that place alone if you want the police involved!"

"NO! Please! That monster is already in his 999 victim!"

She squints at him "no police, and no other pro heroes, I'm not found of that type"

He nods quickly, this is the only lead they got in the last 4 years, but something has been bugging him "Where is he right now? He didn't eat no one the last 2 weeks."

"He's waiting, he wants the people to be less aware at night, it is his last victim, he wants a whole person this time"

Hitoshi gulps "Where is he?"

"Don't know" you shrug "but since people are back at the streets at night he will be back in-" you stop and look at the moon, figuring out the time "in a few hours, maybe 5 or 6"

That put the pro hero on edge "what will he do when he gets back?"

You think for a bit and goes back to pacing around him "probably sleep, call me, and when the night falls he will go out and take his 1000 victim" you stop by his side this time "but I can help you~"

Shinso stops and things about it for a bit, if what she's saying is true then someone will be eaten alive that same shitty day. "And how exactly are you going to help me?"

"That's easy! I will put something for him to sleep on his morning juicy, he will sleep, I tie him up, and give him to you, with also his address so that you can take all the evidence necessary"

"You can't put someone to sleep and delivery it to me!"

"Yes I can, I will be his 'last victim' and say that I thought he would kill me, so you will just tell the cops that you came and rescued me from him, TCHARAM! What do you think about that?"

Hitoshi stops in his tracks, the cold midnight air on his skin makes him shiver from cold. "But what do you want in return? It's impossible that you are doing this just because you want to help, if you wanted to help you would have at the beginning of his attacks"

You nod at him and stops by his side, enveloping him with a wing, looking him up and down "You are right, I want something- no... I want someone, I want to have some fun... with you" you gently grab him by his chin "It's cold, let's go inside, so I can get my payment" you put your hand on his ass and nudge him to the roof door.

"W-wait! I didn't agree to this!" You stop and look at him amused.

"Oh! So you have another choice? That's news to me, since you didn't have enough option to not dress up as a woman" you gently hold the hem of his dress with a finger.

Hitoshi trembles, now realizing that you are right, if he wants your much-needed help he will... have to sell his body. "B-but I never-!" Shinso blushes, hard.

You laugh mocking him"You are a virgin!? How old are you? 25? 24? That's gold! Well... for me" when you pass the door and start going down the stairs with a hand on his lower back, you also take that time to transform in to your human form, with only small horns, a thin tail and small wings visible.

You look like a succubus to him, but the normal clothing doesn't match the lustful look on your eyes.

...

Opening the door to your bedroom and pushing him in with you was easy.

He sits on the bed and take off his heels as he watches you walking around. "How is this going to go?" Shinso feels small, like when people called him a villain in his youth.

Hitoshi was thinking of how he's an idiot for not taking his capture weapon with him, and even if he did, he realizes that it would be useless right now, but having it would be some kind of comfort.

You see him lost in thoughts, fumbling with his fingers, he's so cute! Even if he's tall for a man, he's small to you, as you walk around the room and go to the bathroom to get the bath ready, you hear soft steps walking to you.

"Don't you want something else?" When you look at him, he doesn't meet your eyes, he looks even smaller right now, hugging himself, in clear discomfort.

"I'm a doctor, I don't need money, I don't want fame or exposure, nor do I want anything that you may have... well, besides your body" you chuckle and start stripping.

Hitoshi blushes and closes his eyes. "I-I can find you someone better, maybe another pro hero, I was a classmate with some of the top 10 heroes, maybe yo-"

"Don't want it" you say like it was obvious "I don't like heroes in general, you are the first one that I feel attracted to" you walk to him and get smaller, now you're just a little taller than him, his sight is directly at your breast, but sadly he's eyes are closed. "Do you need help, or you can take your clothes off yourself?"

Shinso shivers from just thinking about her passing her hands over his body "I can do it!" He tries to keep his voice strong.

"So go on" you sit at the border of the big bathtub "give me a nice show will you?"

He looks at your naked form still blushing and then looks at the bathtub "aren't we just going to fuck? Why do I have to take a bath?"

"You are too feminine right now, don't get me wrong I love a woman in my bed, but right now I'm hungry for some masculine men at my feet and losing control" you put something on the water and mix it with your hand.

Taking a shaky breath he starts to get undressed. Shinso is disgusted at himself, selling his body to a random woman who says she is the attacker's sister, but... he has no other lead to that Thing, this is the last hope. So Hitoshi takes a deep breath and start to taking the dress off, he never thought that this would be his first time... he wanted to be with a lover or at least a friend that took pity on him, not this... in a run down hotel, with a stranger that says they have a lead. Being a hero sure sucks.

"Hmmmm, what a nice body!" He looks at your back and sees your thin tail make a heart shape "now the pants and underwear at the same time"

With a shuddering breath he takes them off, covering his dick with his hands feeling exposed under your eyes.

"Now come here, I want to feel you"

He obeys now in front of you, as you stay sat on the bath border.

You take his hands in yours and smile "we can stop this at any moment, you can go on without losing your virginity to me" Shinso sighs relieved and smiles down at you "but of course, I won't tell you anything or help you an all" his smile drops and a frown takes place, he shook his head, and you lick your lips at that. "Now let's start to clean you, the fun will begin soon enough"

You hold his hand and get inside the bathtub, pulling him with you as you sit down.

Shinso stays a little far from you, but you're still holding his hand.

Taking deep breaths and relaxing was good and all, but you wanted more, so you pulled him closer and kissed him.

The hero did not pull back, and instead kissed you back, that made you eager, as you licked his bottom lip asking for entrance, Shinso started having doubts, so he didn't open his mouth, well. Until he felt you grabbing his balls and massaging it, gasping in surprise was enough for you to start a full tongue kiss.

He grows and whimpers against your mouth, he turns you on so much! Maybe you should keep him, but let's see if at the end he will be your good boy or a damn pro hero.

He's dick start to get hard from you massaging his balls, and the kiss is getting louder from all the saliva, that may also be turning him on, it's the first time someone else touches him there.

Your tongue is bigger and longer than an average one, is also pointy and very flexible, so it's easy to wrap yours around his one, and you suck it, at that he moans, you separate the kiss to let him breath, and the face he makes is incredible, making you extremely turned on, damn this man is going to be your end.

"So cute, so sweet!" You day, and he gasps air and hold your hand when you squeeze his balls lightly.

"Please... that's enough... I should go and- AAAAHG!" he shouts surprised by the feeling of something on his nipple, but your arms didn't move, one was behind his shoulder holding his neck from behind, and the other fondling with his balls, so what-

Looking down he saw the tip of your tail, it was a straight tip, no heart or anything, just like a snake's tail, it was doing circles on his nipple, with just enough pressure to turn him on.

"You are so sensitive! Do you pinch your nipples when you masturbate?"

"What!? No- AAAAAHG!" his hips jerks, you had suddenly licked his nipple.

"Don't lie to me~♡ they wouldn't be this sensitive if you never touched them" taking his nipple in your mouth and sucking it has Shinso growling.

"YES! I do pinch my nipples when I masturbate!"

You hum with his nipple in mouth making him whimper at the vibration, he moves his hand to try and alleviate himself a little, but your hand that was on his balls is faster, grabbing his dick and jerking it with enthusiasm.

That has Hitoshi on cloud nine, with the tail now wrapping around his balls and moving Itself without stopping, your mouth sucking and licking his nipple, one hand on the back of his neck caressing him, and the other masturbating him. It was too much, Hitoshi never felt like this, it was overwhelming the amount of pleasure he was feeling, all of this brought him to the edge quickly.

"I-I'm... I'm gonna! Ah! Ah! More! Just a little more!" He close his eyes but as soon as the sensation came from the orgasm, it went away he shouts, throwing his head back frustrated and opens his eyes, desperately pumping his own dick trying to cum, but you stop him and kiss his knuckles.

He looks at you, with an open mouth and relaxed slutty eyes trying to focus on you. "Please... please let me cum!"

You chuckled at that and kissed his lips "sorry MindJack, but only good boys can cum, pro heroes can't, and since you told me your pro hero name and not your real one, I can't let you cum" you pout at the idea of your new toy not cumming "I will give you a prize if you tell me your name" wrapping your hand around his dick and pumping it slowly.

But reason was louder inside Hitoshi's mind, it didn't let him tell his name, it would be too dangerous for him, so he shook his head.

You sighed disappointed but nodded "it's okay, you're here to make me feel good, so I will let that one thing slip, but if you ever change your mind just tell me"

He took in a deep breath and nodded, getting ready for your next move.

You sit in between his legs an open them, looking directly at his butt hole you tilt your head to the side "Have you ever stick something in your ass?"

At that he blushes hard and shook his head "No-! I-I never put anything there"

"Well... now you will" you wink at him and submerge in the water, with his dick in hand you put your tongue on his asshole, he's hips jerk in surprise, so you use your other hand to keep them from moving.

The sensation was weird and uncomfortable, he could feel you tongue slithering inside his asshole, the unwelcomed sensation made his dick start to go soft, but you jerk him off, so that he would relax on your tongue, and focus on something else.

Shinso looked at you underwater and was surprised by how little the bubbles got out of your nose, maybe your quirk had something to do with that? The jerking of his dick got faster, making him focus totally on that, as a result you went deeper with your tongue on his inside, and by moving around he could feel like you were searching something, but his dazzled mind could only focus on your hand that was holding his hips now going up and pinching his nipple, he grows at that and whimpers as you press your nails on it from time to time.

The warm feeling on his lower stomach came back, the built-up coming a little faster this time around, but it skyrocketed as you hit his prostate, making him moan loudly with a surprised yep.

"I'M... GONNA CUM!" Even if you were underwater you heard him, you already knew that he was at the edge of an incredible orgasm, since his walls were trembling around your tongue, his dick pulsating in your hand and his hips moving, trying to get more of you inside him.

When his eyes started to turn to inside his head, mouth lightly open with gasps and whimpers, he was almost there, just a little bit, just a little bit, just a- "NO!" He sobs as you stop everything at once and sit up on the tub.

He's sobbing like crazy, trembling all over from another orgasm being ripped from him, this one was so big too, he could feel that it would be one of the bests in all his life.

You purr at him and pets his head softly, kiss his cheek and the tip of his nose, hugging him from the side, he hides his face at the crook of your neck and his sobs stop after a while.

Shinso sighs, trembling in disgust from how well he responds to your touches, your hands feels so good running through his hair and his body, your cat like purr comforts him to no end, everything about you feels so welcoming... 'what the fuck is happening to me?'

...

After washing his face from the makeup and cleaning your own body he sits at your feet while you sit on the chair in front of your computer, without bothering to put clothes on or tell him to dress himself, it won't be needed.

"Right now I need to check some emails, so you'll go down on me if you do a good job I can get you some early evidence" you finish drying your body and spread your legs to him and start reading emails.

Hitoshi saw enough porn in his life that he knows what to do, pulling himself closer to her pussy and opening his mouth was an incredible view to you.

Starting with shy cat licks, you sigh in comfort and pets his head, going tight back to typing.

With a little more confidence that you gave him through the head pats he starts to savor you, his tongue licks for longer each time, and he feels the little button against it.

Your cellphone starts ringing making him stop his ministrations, but you gently nudge his cheek "don't stop, and be careful with your teeth" you answer your phone, and he goes back to liking you, now you were wetter than before, maybe you like the risk of being caught.

Shinso sucks lightly on your clit and sees you smiling at him with adoration "Yeah I refused her... I know, but I can refuse someone whenever I want" you sigh relived when he starts to get the hang of it. "Not my problem, I told you that I don't like heroes, and I also told you that even if it was an emergency I wouldn't attend them.... that was because I didn't knew he was a hero... that one was a vigilante... of course they are differeEEENT!" you look at him shocked, Hitoshi put his tongue inside you and was purposely rubbing his nose on your clit "hmmmmm... yeah sorry, I almost tripped...no no I'm- mmmmmmmmh! I'm fine... yeah? Well... then sue me, I don't care" you hung up the call and patted your thighs "hands where I can see MindJack"

Shinso puts his hand on top of your thighs, and you can feel pre-cum on one hand and a bit of it also on the tip of his other hand "Oh! So you did like my tongue on your back door!" You interlace your fingers with his hair and lightly pull on it making him groan, the vibrations hit you just right "ooooh~! Right there baby... such a good little hero, getting me nice and wet so that I can eat your cock with my pussy" that has Shinso moaning against you, you moan back at him and goes back to answering emails, but still gasping and moaning from time to time.

By the looks of it he's getting more clumsy and desperate by now, he starts to eating you aggressively, and it starts to turn you off, so you pull him away from your pussy "enough, you can't make me cum with your mouth, but don't worry, since this is your first time it's normal to not get it right hero"

Hitoshi sighs and calm his breathing, he grab both your thighs and look up at you with such a deplorable face that has your inside heating up.

"Hmmmmm~♡ what do you want my little hero?" You put your thumb in his mouth, and he sucks on it "want to have something wrapped around your dick like there's no tomorrow? Tell me what you want, and I will give it to you" you close your laptop and focus on him, Hitoshi trembles under your eyes.

"I want to lose my virginity... please" he says with your finger in his mouth.

You chuckle at his face "How adorable, you never asked my name and still want to fuck me, how dirty of you, does it turn you on not knowing my name?" You put your feet on his dick and start to rub him.

"Name... I want to know your name, I want to cum saying your name"

Your smile grow darker "then tell me yours" Shinso stops all his thinking again, looking at her surprised, he shakes his head, you huff and nod "Okay, okay, well... right now you can call me doctor, or doc, when you tell me your name I will tell you mine" you get up from the chair and goes through your purse "lay down on the bed, let's get started, you can sleep here, tomorrow we will do all that hero stuff"

Hitoshi goes and sit on the bed with his back to the headboard, both hands on his thigh, his dick pulsating with an almost purple head, and and pulsating against his stomach.

You come back with a butt plug and lubricant, you open his legs and lick your lips at the sight "this one is small so don't worry too much" you spread the lubricant on his dick and then down to his asshole "I'm glad that I put aphrodisiac in the water, you needed to relax"

"You did what!?" When you were about to fit your finger inside he tensed the muscle, making it impossible for you to enter

You huff "I just wanted you to relax, don't worry I didn't put enough to make you unconscious or unable to say no, you can still get up and go out, I will even call and pay for the cab" you sit back and point to the door.

"But I need your help!"

"That's a shame, because I just want your body, I don't actually want to help, but I will if I can get what I want, now decide, will you go, or can I keep going?" You point to the door and then at his genitals.

Hitoshi looks in despair at you, his big and strong arms and legs, or his pro hero training, even his experience, nothing was usable here, even if he used his quirk, it wouldn't work, since he can't make her write the culprit's name. Hitoshi Shinso, the student of UA, the pupil of Eraser head, MindJack, the pro hero that helps the top 10 heroes under the table, is unable to help himself, and unable to not need your help.

You see that he noticed all this in a few minutes, that powerful man under you, makes you wet enough to make your slick come down to your inner thighs.

"Please... keep going" Hitoshi says in defeat, and you gladly oblige, you put your mouth around his tip and lightly suck on it, the pro hero groans, the feeling being out of this world, now relaxed and focusing on your mouth you put two lubricated fingers on his asshole, and slowly going more and more in, until only your knuckles are outside it.

The feeling of your fingers now moving around was groundbreakingly good, you were so sweet with him, even if this was supposed to pleasure you, maybe you like to be in control? That's possible-!!! Hitoshi yelp loudly by how surprised he is, you took him all inside your mouth, and he isn't small! And you just deep throated him, your wet and warm cave has him trembling from head to toe, while moaning loudly, not being able to hold back his moans.

"I-I'm gonna cum! Please let me cum! Please!" He says with tears in his eyes yet to fall.

But again you stop taking him out of your mouth, when he's at the edge almost cumming, Hitoshi sobs, his hands that was holding his own thighs are trembling as he holds himself back.

"Sorry, I need your name if you want to come" with your finger spreading his asshole, you kiss his tip again, it was pulsating with an almost purple head and pre-cum coming out of it.

"I won't give you my nAME!" you not only put the lubricated butt plug inside him, but also turned on the little vibrator, by the small switch that your tail was holding out of his reach.

"I already told you that it's fine, that you just won't cum" you get up and squad on top off him, lining his dick at your lower lips, and start to rub his tip on your clit, that makes you shiver and breathe heavily, thinking about what will happen next.

"Wait! A condom! I don't know if you are clean, and I also am too young to be a father!" He holds your hips up, not letting you keep going.

You sigh and get up, going to your purse and coming back with a paper and shows it to him. "What it says right here?" You point at a specific part and put the paper very close to his face, so he can't read the rest

"STDs negative, AIDS negative and other sickness that I don't know the name off, all of them negative..." you make a ball with the paper and trows it at the trash can, and you got it right... maybe that's a signal, that you will succeed this time.

"But what if- hummn!" You press on the butt plug and chuckles at him trying to hold back his moan

"It's a safe day, and I'm on the pill" you pet his face and goes on top of him again "now lay down and let your doctor give you your medicine"

He gulps and lays down, you fluff his pillow under him and smiles, his face blushing from how much care you have on your eyes, there is something more, like the cat that got the cream, but he isn't sure, that look vanish, being replaced by a lustful look.

You again line you two, and when you sit on him, taking every inch you both moan in sync.

"Oh my god!" You think that this hero is the cutest, he does the best facial reactions you have ever seen, it's quite addictive, but when you start to move, Oh! The face he makes is the best one.

"Don't stop- please! I'm gonna cum!" He throws his head back but groans in frustration from you not only stopping the movement, but also stopping the vibrator.

"Your name?" You ask again, putting a hand on his chest and caressing his nipple with your thumb.

His conscience was screaming at him, but his body was screaming for release.

You see his body twitching under you, the feeling of his dick inside you was deliciously pulsating, you wig your hips "Come oooon~ tell me! Tell meee~" you give small jumps and wiggle your hips.

He groans at the feeling, his whole body begging for release, "Hitoshi! My name is Hitoshi Shinso!!"

You smile at him and starts to move, "Hitoshi-kun! Cum inside me! Please! Please! Please!" At that he snaps and hold your hips up, as he fucks into you.

"Name!? Please! Please doctor!" You turn on the vibrator, and he moans loudly like a woman.

"Y/n call me, Y/n-sama, since I'm older than you, you need to uUuuUuUse~ aaaahn~♡, Hitoshi-kun! Give me more! Please!"

He moans back to you, seeing you on top of him, your breasts bouncing, was extremely arousing, but looking closely, your horns starts growing with your wings and size, your dragon scales are back but only in a few places.

You are meeting his trusts half way, your pleasure is building up, when suddenly it skyrockets, you look down at him and sees that his hand went up to your back, he's holding on your wings and pulling it from time to time, which makes you desperate, moving up and down you lost the patience when you started going over the edge.

"Toshi! I'm gonna cum!" your tail flicks the vibration to the max and drops the switch, coming to press and nudge your little button.

It was too much for him, the vibrations from behind hitting his prostate, your gummy walls squiring him so tight, the way your body moves with his, and the way you call, for his name is so sweet that he couldn't hold back even if he wanted, so he came inside you, his hot cum was the trigger for you too.

...

Waking up on the next day was a nightmare, his body was exhausted and his mind slower than normal, so after a few minutes Shinso sat up on the empty bed and looked around.

Your things weren't on the room anymore, some masculine clothes were on top of a chair with a note.

Hitoshi took a while to notice, but he was surprised when he did, not only was his body clean, it was just tired, and not sore, even a little relaxed, after reading the letter it made sense, and he sighs while holding back a smile.

'Hope you liked your post-sex massage, pro-heroes need their bodies on the daily, also...

It would be bad if we couldn't take my brother down, lets me up again today, yes?'

XoXo L/n Y/n

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: Episode 3

First of all, wow. When I decided to post those online, I was expecting that they would be read by two people, both of whom I personally know. It was in equal part surprising and terrifying that so many of you ventured here. Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it. 

Episode 3 is probably my favourite case. It’s not perfectly strung together, there is little actual investigative work in it, but it’s a beautiful story of boundless love and devotion, which echoes through the relationship between our protagonists

Professor Shen is looking at some materials that are looking suspiciously like research into something supernatural, when Zhang Ruonan makes an appearance at his office, claiming that she is absolutely fine, while clearly being very far away from fine. This is something Shen Wei can certainly relate to, because he is the king of hiding his ailments from others. 

Zhu Hong’s one-sided affection for Zhao Yunlan starts to show already in this episode:  while he has the cold, she nags him to take care of himself, shoves tissues into his hands, and presses him to drink his meds. It’s easy to imagine even this early on that she will be the woman drunk dialling him one day. 

I know this could be seen as straightbaiting, but I honestly thing that the actual purpose it serves in the show is the opposite; I’ll talk more about it when we get there.

Zhao Yunlan spends a lot of this episode in Shen Wei’s office, starting with this scene, in which is obviously flexing. Not only does he sneeze all over the office, he goes to eat Shen Wei’s cake after specifically being told not to eat it.  He also takes his opportunity to mix questioning with flirting, as is his usual way. He keeps eye contact while spooning cake into his mouth, as he explains, jovially, that another mysterious death on his campus cannot possibly be a coincidence. And, to be fair, he is not really wrong. We are meant to believe that this is all set in motion by Zhu Jiu, aka the least scary villain in the history of villainy, and an owner of your staple baby goth wig. I will not mention him again until the plot makes it impossible for me not to do so. 

Zhang Ruonan comes in, and Zhao Yunlan introduces himself as Shen Wei’s good friend. Which is half-way between a flex and an act of kindness. On one hand, he could have said he was from the police - which would be absolutely true - and risk tarnishing the professor’s good name. On the other hand, he could probably look less pleased with himself. Shen Wei, at the very least, looks neither grateful, nor amused. 

Zhao Yunlan asks her if she new the victim and she looks incredibly shifty as she flees. He is right to think that something is up, and he correctly assumes trauma, rather than guilt. We can now start to see that he is very very good at reading people. It must be equal parts thrilling and disconcerting for him to have met something who he decisively cannot read. Shen Wei vouches for the woman, partly, surely, because his Hei Pao Shi sense is tingling, letting him know that someone is eavesdropping. 

Despite feeling uneasy, Shen Wei still offers Guo Changcheng, who is left to collect various paperwork from his desk, a little smile. He has a reason to like Xiao Guo, of course: he was the one to see the young man’s kindness and understanding, and he is already growing protective of him, way before he will start seeing members of the special unit as his people. This reminds me of how many months later, he will subtly, but decisively stop a barrage of verbal abuse against Xiao Guo by dropping a pair of chopsticks. 

Zhao Yunlan is taking Xiao Guo with him on the case rather than anyone else, partly, supposedly, because of Guo Changcheng’s familial connections. The young man looks more sure of himself, asking correct questions, dutifully records answers. He also tries to look after his Chief by asking him to go home and rest. He does phrase it badly, but Zhao Yunlan has a thing against his own health and well-being, so he reacts extra poorly.

Soon after, Zhao Yunlan’s at Shen Wei’s office yet again, as Shen Wei tries his best to ignore him, in the hope that he… well, maybe not goes away, but does not ask him anything that will require him lying. Instead, Zhao Yunlan is asking Shen Wei why he is bad at reading people, which is a very strange thing to ask. Shen Wei answers his question with a question, “Will seeing through people really lessen the hurt and disappointment?” Adding, “Many tragedies were destined from the beginning”. He looks well.. like this as he says it. 

This is loaded. On first glance, it’s a pretty good set-up to the way this story will unfold, as a tragedy of two individuals who let their devotion to each other nearly ruin each other’s life. A fragile human and a dangerous powered Undergroundian: what else is that, but a tragedy, waiting to happen? But this story - this one right in front of us - will not end tragically, at least not for the two people it enters around. It could do so, but it will not. Maybe, this truly is the first hint that this entire narrative, so carefully set up from the very first time Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei meet, is destined to be a tragedy. Moreover, that it must be one, for some cosmic reason. 

(… I apologise while I go have a little cry in the corner. Damn you, Guardian, why do you make me hurt so much?)

Da Qing inexplicably morphs from black cat to a human in white t-shirt while doing night shadowing, and promptly falls asleep on patrol. Why is he being sent to stake anyone out? He is least suitable for it.  He is literally a cat. He sleeps 16 hours a day. 

Surprisingly, when pressed, Zhang Ruonan comes clean very easily, revealing that she was a victim of the three students she failed (two of which are already dead and one one standing right next to them), who lured her out at night, which left her vulnerable to be attacked. Zhao Yunlan listens to this story, and instead of… oh I don’t know, perhaps asking her the identity of the third student, leaves to go find that out for himself. It is heavily implied that he does it on purpose, which is definitely not okay.  

Moreover, he goes and... asks Shen Wei. This makes me suspect that he’s not really thinking with his head at this point. As he does so, he is brandishing a letter opener. 

Shen Wei is looking even less impressed with him than he did during their last few conversations. 

Zhao Yunlan is a little bit flippant when it comes to students’ lives this episode. And yes, they have done something really quite horrible to another human being, but that's not a very good excuse to let the last of them just die. As it happens, the situation Yunlan created - perhaps on purpose - did lure out Zhao Ruonan’s murder girlfriend, but it also cost a student his life. Which is far from ideal, but is somehow never even mentioned. Instead of being aghast, he sits on the table as he goes into full interrogation mode. (As he will continue to do a lot. Sometimes he crouches on tables instead. There is no further point here, apart from: I like this character quirk. It’s a nice character quirk.)

He brings some of his team in at this point, and asks Zhu Hong to continue interrogation. It would be a nice gesture is he did not interject two questions in. 

“How do you regard your relationship with Wang Yike?”

“We are family.”

They are definitely, decisively not going for sisterly bond here. Which is kind of incredible. This is one of the moments the amorphous being that show is looks at the censors, wiggles its battered low budget eyebrows at them, and then proceeds to flip them off. Well done, Guardian. 

Wang Yike calls Zhang Ruonan, saying there is one more victim she needs to take care of, and Lin Jing traces the call back to campus. Zhao Yunlan, who did not even bat an eyelid at a dead student earlier, now looks decisively worried  

“Oh no. Professor Shen.” 

The only reason Shen Wei is attacked is jealousy. Wang Yike does not know this of course, but trying to kill him is a bad move, because a) he has long ago given his heart away, and is definitely not interested; b) this is probably the only thing she could do to make the man on the case very very upset; c) Shen Wei’s immune to her powers. 

“Someone like you will never understand what she means to me!” Wang Yike shouts eventually. “As long as I can protect her, my life has worth!” And, even as Wang Yike has no way of knowing it, these are the words that ultimately save both her and her loved one. Because Shen Wei does in fact understand what Zhang Ruonan means to her. His own endless and ultimately self-destructive devotion is his main driving force.

Shen Wei pretends to be hurt, again, which earns him a half-hug from the object of his devotion. If Zhao Yunlan does notice that Shen Wei should really come out of this attack grey haired and dead, and not just mildly inconvenienced, he chooses not to say anything. 

Worried about her murder girlfriend, Zhang Ruonan rushes in and accidentally touches her. Zhao Yunlan Freaks The Hell Out. Shen Wei does, too, but in his own, reserved, way. They are both emotionally invested in those two people, although for very different reasons: Shen Wei is acutely feeling resonance of his own past in their story, and Zhao Yunlan, I think, wants to fix it, he wants to be able to make it better. Instead, Shen Wei fixes it for him, turning the tide on this tragedy, and giving it a happy ending. He heals Zhang Ruonan right in front of the officers of SID, albeit with much subtlety. (“Have someone saved her right under our noses?” Zhu Hong will snort the very same evening, and she will be 100% correct.)

Shen Wei also lets Wang Yike go despite the undeniable fact that she did kill three people. Here, he is looking at the picture of this human/Undergroundian couple, surviving despite all odds, and touches his only reminder that Kunlun really was in his life. 

He then burns the picture as the only evidence that Wang Yike was not punished by him for her crimes. 

In the end, Guo Chengcheng is making first of his many diary notes about the events, recounting a conversation between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan we had not witnessed, in which Shen Wei mentioned a relationship based on devotion that can last a thousand years, and Zhao Yunlan called such a relationship “guarding”. Finally, Guo Changcheng hopes that he can become a guardian of all. 

And this is making me think that this absolutely should be a set-up for him becoming a wick of the guardian lantern, as per every single other decision that was made prior to the last two episodes. Right? This is a perfect foreshadowing, and mentioning it here, so early in the show would not make any sense if it were a deliberate subversion. So, was Guo Changcheng meant to become the wick after all before... what, some rewrites happened? What made the final episode be what it was in the end?

(This is a genuine question by that way, if anyone has any insight on the matter.)

The episode would end here, if this was a western show, with a familiar monster of the week structure, but it does not. At least, the way it ends is reminiscent of a cliffhanger, with Zhao Yunlan catching Shen Wei in a middle of a crime scene, and looking betrayed. 

Next episode: Lynchian Nightmare, aka people without faces. 

PS.

I did not have a seamless way to stick this in anywhere but... Shen Wei’s technological ineptness at the max: he does not know how to use a Polaroid camera. Help him, he is so lost.

——

Second point of housekeeping to say a few things: 

I don’t think I will be consistent with certain things being transliterated versus translated. I am more likely to use Hei Pao Shi rather than Black Cloak Envoy (because the later reminds me of Tuxedo Mask, which makes me inwardly giggle every time) but at the same time I am also more likely to use Underground/Undergroundian rather than Dixing/Dixingren. I am more likely to use Xiao rather than Little, but have called Chu Old rather than Lao before. I hope that’s not grating, but do tell me if it is

My recaps are Shen Wei-heavy. I have no real explanation for this, apart from.. I like Shen Wei. 

I realise that there will definitely be things here that are head canon and speculation rather than flat observations; this show is a work of fiction and a work of art, which cannot be interpreted objectively. If you have alternate takes on anything I write in the future, let me know! 

[fbfh]

“forever” paxton hall-yoshida x reader

genre: fluffy romance + mutual pining (not too slowburn tho lol)

word count: 3.4k

au: none?? jock x theatre nerd ig

pairing: Paxton x broadway baby!reader 

requested: yes !! i hope u like it uwu

warnings: one hell one motherfucking and i think that’s it for swearing?? um brief self deprecating/talking bad abt urself from paxton (bby boy needs a self love boost), reader and paxton are home alone together for a little while but nothing bad happens, uh,,, i think that’s it

summary: when Eleanor can’t run lines with you, she sends over a very attractive, mutually pining substitute.

reccomended songs: “Seventeen” - Tuck everlasting OBC, “The Kiss” -The Princess Diaries score

a/n: i’m p sure i kept the reader p gender neutral but there’s implied slightly long hair, and you play the lead (a girl named winnie) in ur schools production of tuck everlasting but like it’s theatre so anyone can play anyone lol,, this took so got dam long bc i’m fucking s o f t for jock x artist and it just sorta happened lol aLsO,, not super thoroughly edited so there might be a typo or two?? im tired lol

requests r open <3

You had only ever seen two athletes present during rehearsals. Once when Madeline (who at the time was playing Penny in your production of Hairspray) was dating a guy from the soccer team. The other was when the star of the basketball team had come in to give your choreographer pointers for the basketball scenes during High School Musical. 

Until now.

You had run onstage part of the way through “Live Like This”, which wasn’t out of the ordinary since so much progress had been made on the costumes. You were still tying the ribbon on your pinafore as you jumped into the song, but when your eyes met a face in the usually empty auditorium, you faltered. You almost sang the wrong verse, but recovered quickly, continuing with the blocking. What felt like a moment later, the number was almost done and you were nearing the end of your counterpoint with Mae Tuck - played by Eleanor, of course. Who could be better for the part? You held out the last note, trying to stay in character despite all the distractions in the back of your mind. You had to talk to Eleanor when the director called for 10; she’d started telling you how Devi was being weird recently. Also, what the Hadestown was Paxton Hall-Yoshida doing chilling in the auditorium? You shoved all that away, focusing on staying in character until the director called for a break. 

‘I want to go to the fair. I want to go so badly! I just need a change, need to get out of this house for a little while. I never do anything, so this can’t be asking for too much, right?’ 

You projected all that into your everything - face, voice, mannerisms, energy.

“Hold!” 

Everyone froze.

The director wrote a few things on his paper, sighed, and underlined something several times. 

“Okay, good job! I need to revise some of the blocking, then we’ll do notes, so take ten.” Your sudden nerves had definitely made you pitchy, you knew that would be one of your notes for sure. 

A chorus of “Thank you ten”s erupted, and you immediately ran to Eleanor, telling the others good job as you passed. 

You leaned in and started speaking to her, quietly.

“Okay you need to finish telling me about Devi, and that other news you’re being so cryptic about! Also, what’s up with Fierro over there?” you nodded towards Paxton hoping he wouldn’t see, and you noticed Fab is sitting near him. You realized they’re probably waiting for Eleanor and/or Devi. That must be it, he’s been hanging out with them lately, right? Eleanor gasped.

“You’re right! Paxton is such a Fierro!”

You cringed inwardly a little bit as her voice carried through the auditorium, mixing with the others. Your eyes darted over to him for a fraction of a second. Oh god. He was looking at you. Or in your general direction at least. Lena, the costumer, walked around the set gingerly, following you around and getting you out of your dress incredibly carefully as you and Eleanor walked off stage. 

“No! Well, yes- but no. What’s he doing here? Jocks never come here during rehearsals. I saw Fab too, are you guys and Devi getting dinner or something?” You said, entering the auditorium, and stepping out of the dress. You grabbed sweatpants and a silky, floral kimono jacket from your bag to throw over your leotard and tights. She waved back at Fab before sitting down in the front. You both grabbed your fans and dramatically flicked them open in sync. Your wrists fluttered, cooling both of you off.  A knowing, and slightly mischievous, look came on her face. 

“Devi and Fab and I are. Paxton must be here for something… else.” she shrugged, nodding towards Paxton. You looked over again. He was staring at you. You did a double take and tried to hold back your smile. 

“Wh- I do not know to what you are referring.” 

“To what I am referring is the blush on his cheeks.”

You barely held back a nervous, bubbling laugh.

“He is not blushing! Why would he be blushing!”

“I don’t know,” She shrugged, “Just like how I don’t know that he’s been loitering in the halls outside the music room during your last three solo music rehearsals.”

You struggled for an answer. Before you could form one, you were interrupted.

“Okay, okay what is the best Lin Manuel Miranda musical? Because Kathryn thinks it’s Hamilton-” 

“Duh!”

“-But I think it’s In the Heights! It’s an underrated jewel!” Jonah interjected, still wearing his Jesse Tuck hat. 

You considered for a moment.

“I mean, they’re too different to compare. In the Heights has the same energy as Rent - showcasing what goes on in ordinary people’s lives, and how love ties us all together,” he nodded in agreement, “But Hamilton is on a way larger scale, almost Les Mis meets Fun Home vibes. But in terms of personal preference…” Eleanor scoffed at your answer, and Jonah went back to debate further with Kathryn.

“Anyway,” you turned back to Eleanor to ask her what the hell she meant by Paxton Hall-Yoshida was blushing. But before you could-

“Eleanor, we need you to try on your blue dress again,” Lena was already pulling her away, “I had the empire waist in the right place but half the pins fell out, and it’s just...” And she was whisked away before you could finish the thought. You just had time to help Holly get out her wig pins and drink some lemon water before notes. Eleanor still wasn’t back, so you made sure to write down hers for her. It was pretty standard; be quiet backstage, go over your lines, don’t touch props that aren’t yours, don’t eat in costume, and a couple blocking changes you made note of. After your end of rehearsal warm downs and huddle, everyone left relatively quickly. You ducked into the bathroom to freshen up a little. Sometimes it was hard coming down from such intense energy after rehearsal. You mentally ran through your to do list. You needed to get some more tea, write that essay when you got home, go over your notes- You gasped, cutting off your own train of thought. You ran out of the bathroom to look for Eleanor, still clutching her notes in hand. 

~

Your voice still echoed in Paxton’s ears. He wished he had a whole album of you singing. Your voice made him want to ruin his spotify algorithm by listening to nothing else. You had looked at him a couple times, and his heart had almost stopped. He didn’t know eye contact could be so intense. It’s probably just cause you’re like, the only person in the audience. Where else is she supposed to look? He deflated a little. He heard his name and looked over to you and Eleanor talking together. Hopefully it was about him. Hopefully it was good. He checked his phone, trying to look busy. When he glanced up to see if you were looking, you were gone. He started to look around for you when he saw Eleanor waving at Fab, and sure enough, you were next to her. What he didn’t expect was you dropping your dress to the ground. Time slowed down (and his heart sped up) as you stretched a little, and pulled out sweatpants from your bag.

Wow.

 You had on what looked like a bathing suit on underneath, and a few other people had done the same, but he knew that image would be in his memory, probably forever. His heart was beating in his ears and he knew he must be blushing.

“You okay, Paxton?” Fab asked, a seat or two away. Oh god, he didn’t want people asking why he blushed every time he looked at you! He muttered something about needing to make a call and headed for the doors. Don’t look back at her, don’t look back at her… His eyes involuntarily darted in your direction right before he left. You had on a flowy translucent jacket, your hair thrown back supermodel style as you fanned yourself to cool down. He needed to cool down too. Maybe a cold shower, a really cold shower.

~

You managed to find Eleanor just before she left. Two girls were with her, you had seen Fab once, and you’d heard a lot about Devi, but had never been introduced. 

You gave Eleanor her notes, and she hugged you.

“You’re a lifesaver!” 

“Of course, I-”

“Uh, who’s this?” you looked over, and the shorter girl - Devi, based on what you’d heard about her -  was giving you a weird look. You introduced yourself. 

“Nice to meet you. How do you know Eleanor?” said the taller girl - definitely Fab.

“Oh,” you smiled, “she’s my almost mother in law. And my arch rival,” you counted on your fingers, “my sister, my niece, my lover, my husband, and…” you trailed off, trying to think of the other dynamics your characters had had in past shows.

“Your co-conspirator.” 

“Right,” you laughed. Devi and Fab looked at you two.

“We’re in the musical together.” you clarified. You were about to part ways when you called to Eleanor, “Hey, we’re still on for running lines tomorrow night?” 

“Uh… Sounds good!” she walked away quickly, speaking to Devi and Fab in hushed tones. Something was definitely up. That was typical Eleanor Scheming behavior. 

~

That night, you almost couldn’t sleep. This wasn’t the normal post rehearsal can’t sleep. In fact, Tuck Everlasting was the last thing on your mind as you readjusted your pillows and snuggled into your duvet. You stared at the neon blue stars projected and swirling on your ceiling. You sighed. Again. Your brain was a 24/7 livestream of Paxton Hall-Yoshida to relax/study to. You saw him again, his face in the dimly lit auditorium, Adonis in a sea of faded seats. If you hadn’t been sure before, you knew now that red was definitely his color. You rolled onto your side. Your heart picked up speed as a thought crossed your mind. You could almost see Paxton now, kneeling next to you, his fingertips brushing your cheek. The piano underscore to “Seventeen” ran through your mind. You could imagine him saying “Wait with me, we could share the world…” so vividly it almost hurt. He leaned in, and… 

You let out a loud sigh and rolled over again. Your heart was fully saturated. That’s more than enough pining for tonight. 

~

“Paxton!” 

He was a little surprised when Eleanor just walked up to him at lunch the next day. Most people were too intimidated to approach him out of the blue. 

“I have a plan.”

“Uh, I don’t know what you-”

“Cut the crap, I know you like her.” 

His face blanched. Well, yeah of course he did. Who wouldn’t? He was going to ask Eleanor if there was something he could do to win you over, just not here, not now. Not where everyone could watch and jeer and rib him for it. Just like they were doing now. 

“Woah, dude, who is it?” Trent asked. He fumbled for words. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He hadn’t kept his crush a secret because he was embarrased of you, he’d kept it a secret because his dumbass friends wouldn’t get you. Hell, he barely got you. You were so deep, and emotive, and artistic... 

“Bro, if you like her as much as it seems like you do,” Trent continued, “you gotta win her over.” He was a little shocked at the agreement murmuring through his group of friends. He didn’t know how to respond. Trent turned to Eleanor.

“What’s the plan, drama mama?”

“First of all,” she said, an almost humorously dangerous look on her face, “never call me that again. Second,” she shoved some papers into Paxton’s hands, “meet me in the music room immediately after school.” She started back for her table. Trent looked back over to Paxton. 

“You gotta do it, dude. We’ll cover for you at swim.” 

The rest of his friends agreed. He was pleasantly surprised at how supportive they were being. 

“Yeah, I guess... we’ve got a plan.”

~

The next day went by pretty smoothly. No rehearsal was scheduled since they were finishing construction for some of the sets, but everyone was instructed to do a couple read throughs of the script, focusing on scenes they’re still forgetting, to make sure everyone’s off book. You stopped by 7 Eleven to get a blue slurpee (for homework) and a couple coconut waters (for run throughs). You texted Eleanor on your way to the slurpee machine. 

okay so do you like the mango coconut water or the pineapple one?? It’s the mango one right?? i always forget lmao

sent at 4:16 pm

btw I don’t have that much homework so you can probs come by around 5:30 if you’re ready by then

sent at 4:16 pm

Bae Tuck

OMFG!! I totally forgot about running lines tonight, I can’t make it! :( but I’ll send someone over to help you out. :)

sent at 4:17 pm

You squinted at your screen. That was weird. Eleanor never used colon parentheses smilies. Like, ever. She always used emojis, and usually way more than two per text. 

yeah np, are u good? ♡

sent at 4:17 pm

Bae Tuck

Yes :)

sent at 4:18 pm

Bae Tuck

Also get the passionfruit one 🥥🍠 👀

sent at 4:18

that’s,,, el that’s a sweet potato,,

sent at 4:19 pm

Bae Tuck

Close enough 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

sent at 4:19pm

...Okay? That was definitely weird. You shook it off and headed for the counter to pay. You stopped half way there, and turned back to swap the mango for passionfruit. 

Not long after you had finished your homework and tidied up your room a little, the doorbell rang. You exited the kitchen, drinks in hand, and opened the door. Your heart caught in your throat. Paxton Hall-Yoshida was standing outside. And you were pretty sure he looked nervous. You both just stood there for a second. No one breathed, no one spoke. 

“Uh, hi, do you want to…” you backed up, motioning for him to come inside. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he said, entering the doorway. Paxton motherfucking Hall-Yoshida was in your living room. You held out a hand to him.

“Coconut water?” he took the box, looked at the label, and smiled. 

“Yeah, thanks,” he said again, this time a faint, yet unmistakable note of joy in his voice. He took a sip. He smiled.

“Passionfruit’s my favorite.” You silently thanked Eleanor, who you knew must have planned all this. Most of the evening was a blur, and you thanked god your family wasn’t home right now. You went upstairs, texted Eleanor asking what the actual fuck, made some surprisingly comfortable small talk, then filled him in on how to run lines. 

“Do you think playing the soundtrack would help you… get into character?” he asked. 

“I would probably just end up singing the whole thing,” You laughed and tried to ignore the butterflies in your chest. The main scene you struggled with was before “Seventeen”. It was harder to get into Winnie’s head because you had no romantic feelings for Jonah, and you always just made each other laugh. You had started with a few easier scenes of Winnie and Jesse, like the fair, and the dialogue before “Top of the World”. 

“That was really good,” he said, and you felt the sincerity of his words. 

“Thanks…” you smiled and took a sip of coconut water, hoping you weren’t blushing too hard. 

“So what next?” he asked. 

“Probably the scene before ‘Seventeen’,” you said, giving him the page and scene number, “it’s one of the hardest ones for me. I guess I just can’t connect to Jonah the way Winnie does.” 

“Huh,” he said, skimming the page. When you looked up at him, he had something between a smile and a smirk playing at his lips. You made yourself look away before you got too distracted. You refused to think about the fact that you were sitting across from Paxton Hall-Yoshida on your bed, in your room, like you were… close with each other. His eyes skimmed the script, finding the dialogue. He glanced up at you and nodded, indicating he found his place. You began.

“I was so afraid you wouldn’t get away,” you said, jumping into character.

“I may be 102, but I can still outrun anyone,” a smile played at his lips. You smiled, then let your face fall.

“I’m so sorry, I-I tried to warn you-”

“No, no,” he interjected almost seamlessly, “It’s okay, it’s… refreshing having someone look after me who isn’t my mom.” His eyes flickered between your face and the page. You smiled with him for a second, then let distress cloud your face.

“Jesse… that man came by my house today. He heard the music box, he knows about you-”

“I know he knows…” 

You continued on with the scene and he trailed off when he came to the sheet music for the song Seventeen. You took in a breath to start the dialogue in the middle of the song, but before you could…

“Six years from now you will turn seventeen,

Turn seventeen,

The same age as me,

Six years from now,

Go to the spring,

Go to the spring and drink…”

He was singing to you. He was looking at you and singing to you. His eyes only flickered down to the page to confirm the lyrics. He was nervous, you could tell. But through his hesitance, the emotion in his voice was sincere. Your heart was beating faster. You didn’t even notice your pulse was ringing in your ears, you were too focused on Paxton. 

“I'll wait for you till you turn seventeen,

Turn seventeen,

The same age as me,

Six years from now,

Go to the spring,

Go to the spring and drink…” Your hand rose to cover your mouth. He hesitated, and you remembered your dialogue.

“Uh, wh-what if I… forget where the spring is?” He reached out and took your free hand in his. Your pulse was off the charts. “I’ll go get you some water. Just… remember to keep it somewhere safe. Somewhere no one will find it.” You got the feeling he wasn’t just talking about the water. You knew he had never really been in a serious relationship before, and it clicked suddenly - if he learned an entire song to duet with you, just how much he must like you. You exhaled a breathy laugh, unsure how to process the sudden euphoria you felt. 

“You make the world sound so… exciting. I just want to drink the water right now!”

“Uh, no. You have to wait.” you both smiled, anticipating the upcoming joke.

“Why?” you ask, “What’s the difference?” You held your breath as he tried not to laugh through the delivery of the punchline. 

“Believe me,” he rubbed his thumb over your hand, “there’s a difference.” You both chuckled, and he continued singing. You were so focused on him, so… touched that he would do all this for you. 

“Winnie, wait with me,

And we could be married,

Winnie, wait with me,

And we'll share the world,

Winnie, you can stop time,

And live like this,

Forever…”

“I could live like this forever,” you echoed.

“Live like this...” you sang in tandem.

“What do you say, Winnie? Do you want to…” he broke character suddenly, and asked, his eyes boring into yours, “Do you want to go out some time?” 

He could see the adorable smile blooming on your face, even from behind your hand. You nodded.

“Yes, I-I would love that,” and you began to sing the last line in the song, “Forever-” 

But before you finished holding out the note, his lips were on yours. His mouth moved slowly, intentionally, against yours. You followed his lead, flustered. He leaned further forward, his palm caressing your cheek. It was everything you imagined it would be, and you had quite the imagination. Your head was angled up and your hands rested themselves on his back, one tracing little shapes. Your shoulders were pressed against each other and neither of you could think. He was so warm. He tasted like coconut and passion fruit, and a distant part of your mind silently thanked Eleanor again. 

You really could live like this forever.