#EMMA WHY DID YOU SAY THAT😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[burreauxwrites]

“LOATHING” - (joe burrow x oc)

CHAPTER THREE - “thru the phone”

word count: 1.9k

warnings: 18+ (MDNI)! perv!joe, a wet dream happens, joe has a voice kink, jerking off, over the phone stuff…joe is just really horny this chapter 😭

winnie sighs as she walks into her physics class, spotting a seat next to joe and getting her things out. she had been pushed and almost trampled by all the tall students roaming the halls. it was annoying, but thankfully, she made it.

“god, winnie,” joe snickers, looking at winnie’s disheveled and frustrated appearance, “you look like you just woke up.”

“well. i did. but also, people roam the halls with no sense of awareness,” she groans, putting her book on top of her desk, “or urgency.”

joe chuckles, knowing that winnie hates getting to her classes. even when they were in middle school together, winnie struggled with transitioning between classes.

“yeah? well, that’s the life of a student for you.” he nudges her shoulder, getting a small smile from her.

oddly enough, there’s something about winnie. he’s not sure if it's the fact that she styles her hair, or if she does a bit of makeup, or if it’s her fidgeting. maybe it’s the small pout she does when focusing. but she looks…pretty. really pretty.

joe watches as kaori continues getting her things out, deciding to take a brief moment to speak up.

“hey…you got a volleyball game today, right?”

winnie looks at joe, nodding with a smile. “mhm…why?”

joe grins, raising an eyebrow. “i’m gonna come and watch.”

her gaze softens. truth be told, she really did want joe to be there. she would never say that part out loud, of course. that’s straight up embarrassing. but hearing that he’ll be attending the game did make her heart swell with joy.

“really?” she asks, leaning back in her seat, “i’ll hold you to that.”

“trust me. i’ll always be around if it means i’m supporting you.” joe affirms, his eyes gleaming with a specific fondness to them.

for a moment, a brief moment, the both of them were locking eyes. they may have been looking at each other for longer than necessary, but they couldn’t look away. it’s like they were magnetized.

the bell rings, interrupting their moment. despite this, they share a brief smile, their faces both being bright red.

———————

winnie was warming up with the team as more and more people filled the gym. saying she was nervous would be an understatement. nonetheless, she’s aware of what she needs to do. after all, she finally made the team! this was the exact moment that she’s been waiting for.

as she practices hitting and serving the ball, she notices joe walk in with his friends, ja’marr and justin. his hair is styled with a few curls against his forehead, and he is wearing a sweatshirt with some black joggers. though his outfit is simple, winnie finds it…attractive?

no. snap out of it winnie. now is not the time to be ogling your friend.

as she continues warming up, her friend alina noticed her staring.

“winnie,” she asks, “you don’t happen to like joe, do you?”

with a pause, winnie holds the ball, looking at alina in shock; she wasn’t expecting that question from her.

“no. we’re just friends. why?”

alina rolls her eyes, “just friends my ass.”

in an exasperated sigh, winnie serves the ball over the net. “we are! we go way back. we had a falling out, but we rekindled our friendship.”

“and? i just saw the way you looked at him.”

huh. she did? winnie didn’t think she was that obvious. nonetheless she shrugs. “i mean. it’s normal to find your friend good looking.”

“well,” alina pauses, looking at joe for a minute before looking back at winnie, “you do know that you’ll have to deal with emma, right? she’s crazy obsessed with joe.”

she scowls a little at that. that was a very true statement. winnie isn’t dumb; she’s aware of the fact that many women are attracted to joe on campus. and sometimes, he plays into their attraction. it was something she never ever understood, but she just knew that it was something that he did.

as far as emma goes, she stops at nothing when it comes to getting what she wants. she’d beg, borrow, steal, lie…whatever it takes. but winnie doesn’t get why that bothers her so much. her and joe are only friends, so even if emma does want joe, she shouldn’t care…right?

with a small shrug of her shoulders, winnie speaks, “she can have him.”

alina scoffs, knowing that winnie is putting up a front. she doesn’t press on the subject anymore though.

meanwhile, in the stands, joe was…struggling. ja’marr and justin were laughing about something, probably a dumb instagram post or video. but he couldn’t help but focus on winnie as she warms up.

the way her hair is tied back and her stare is so focused. it’s attractive to joe. but even worse (or better), it was something about those shorts she was wearing. they hugged her curves in the best way possible, leaving nothing to his imagination.

in a way, joe felt guilty for being the perv he was being. this is his friend he’s thinking about. but with winnie looking the way she does? he’s a goner.

“joe…? joe!”

snapping from his thoughts, joe looks at justin and ja’marr. “huh…?”

“you good? you were staring hella hard at winnie,” justin chuckles.

“eh. can’t say i blame him.” ja’marr shrugs, causing joe to slap his hand against his chest roughly.

“i was not staring.” joe denies, shaking his head and folding his arms.

justin puts his hands up. “i’m not judging, man. i mean, she does look pretty good from here.”

joe huffs, waving their words off. “okay, guys that’s enough. i was looking for a very brief moment.”

and as if on cue, justin and ja’marr share a glance at each other. without words, they seem to agree that joe isn’t being smooth like he thinks he is.

———————

their hands were all over each other’s bodies, their lips floating across the other’s skin. the feeling of winnie’s nails dragging along joe’s arms made him shiver, his spine tingling from the excitement and pleasure.

“god…joe,” winnie gasps, straddling joe’s lap as the two sit on his bed.

joe chuckles, his hand on her hip slowly drifting down to her panty-clad core and rubbing very small circles. just small enough to suffice, but still be a tease. and the sensation makes her legs jolt slightly, her lips slightly parted as a breathy “oh, fuck” leaves them.

“you have no idea what it does to me, seeing you in your cute little skirts and stuff,” he whispers, watching as winnie begins to grind against his hand slightly, “or…maybe you do have an idea.”

he takes his free hand, cupping her breast gently under her bra. a soft hum of approval at the soft, supple skin, his thumb massaging her nipple. “the way you act so innocent and nonchalant…but you and i both know what you want.”

winnie’s body trembles at joe’s teasing words and touches, her mind cloudy with nothing but thoughts of him. thoughts about his hands and his lips, thoughts of his eyes piercing into her.

“joe…please,” winnie mewls, looking at joe with a dazed, love drunk look.

“please what?” joe, smirks, leaning in towards winnie’s ear, “if you want me to fuck you, then you better say it loud and clear.”

and with that, winnie wastes no time, nodding and looking at joe, “yes…yes, please, joe! i-i want…need you to fuck me so bad,” she begs, her breath hitching with every pinch and touch joe leaves on her sensitive frame.

“alright, princess. but only because you asked so nicely.”

as joe hooks his fingers around winnie’s underwear-

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

joe shoots up from his bed, looking over at his clock on his nightstand and groaning. he slams his hand on it, turning it off and rubbing his hands over his eyes. he looks down and…

holy shit.

whatever that dream was, it did a number on him. he groans, looking at his morning wood in frustration. having a wet dream about your friend and now having to deal with a boner because of it was not on his bucket list.

he looks down and notices that winnie is calling. and so, he picks up the phone.

“hey, winnie…what’s up?” he asks, still drowsy and annoyed from his dream.

“not much, just…wanted to talk to you. i know we have a physics test soon and i was wondering if we could go over some stuff?”

of course, winnie was up early. studying. but she sounds so pretty and charming, like usual. it pisses joe of to no end, but it also…arouses him.

“sure,” joe nods, his hand slowly, oh so slowly moving down his body, “care to tell me what you remember so far?”

“yeah,” winnie answers, and joe can hear her rummaging through some notes, “so, we’re going over thermodynamics…”

joe would occasionally nod and go along as winnie spoke, hooked on every word she’d say. and he knows that this would be a perverted thing to do, but he can’t help it. not when winnie sounds so perfect.

his hand gently wrapped around his cock, and he swipes some of the pre-cum off the tip. he lets out a small groan as winnie continued going over her notes, stroking his length. the reality of what he’s doing causes his cheeks to turn red, but he doesn’t feel like stopping; he’s too entranced by her to stop. and plus he needs to release some tension from that wet dream.

“there are four different thermodynamic processes, and-”

“fuck…” joe moans, perhaps too loudly. because there’s a moment of lingering silence. “um-”

“joe…are you…jerking off?”

shit. he’s been caught. he can’t lie. winnie isn’t that dumb. she may be a virgin, but she’s not stupid.

“um…yeah?”

“oh…” winnie murmurs, though she doesn’t sound disgusted. rather…intrigued? she eventually speaks, “uh…so should i keep speaking, or…?”

“god, yes…keep talking,” joe nods, sounding a bit desperate, not that he cares.

though joe couldn’t see it, winnie’s cheeks were dusted over with a slight pink shade. she’s never had anyone be aroused by her voice, but it feels…nice? and besides, it’s joe.

“okay…so as i was saying, there’s four thermodynamic processes…”

soon enough, winnie could hear joe’s heavy breathing through her phone. the way he mumbled out small hums and curses made the hair on her body stand up. the thought if having such an effect on someone was a different, but good feeling. even if it was just a friend.

with a loud groan, joe finally comes, riding out his orgasm as spurts of cum land on his stomach and wrist. once he finished, he sighs, resting against his pillow.

“so…you good now?” winnie asks, waiting for joe’s response.

“yeah,” he pants out, “i am…thanks for helping out with that, baby.”

baby…? the name caused winnie’s heart to thump, and she didn’t know how to respond, other than a small “you’re welcome.”

joe looks at his phone, his eyes widening. “shit. i’m supposed to meet justin and ja’marr for breakfast,” he says, quickly sitting up and using some tissue to wipe himself off. “i’ll talk with you soon, okay, winwin?”

“okay…bye!” winnie replies, to which joe bids his farewell too, and hangs up.

as for winnie, she sits on her bed with her notes. her face is warm and her legs clenched together.

it seems like she too has her own little problem now.

we are so back guys :]

[heathersapples]

bonus (average dom/sub activities):

[gob-lob]

@ath-thuraya your area of expertise? LOL

put three f/f ships you like in the tags. doesnt matter how obscure or embarrassing the media, go for it. and no, your m/m ship doesnt count as women

[zreamy]

i'll love you forever

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

summary: you were sunghoon's first everything; first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. after years of quietly crushing on you, he was finally ready to confess. so ready to confess, that he told his parents the two of you were already dating! it was an easy enough lie to keep up and he kept it up for months, what could possibly go wrong? he thought. little did he know, you would have a falling out and stop talking for months.. and then, you'd both get invited to spend a week at home with his parents, who still believe you're his girlfriend.

genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, fake dating

warnings: minors dni, fake dating is pretty mild (sorry), she kinda doesn’t rate him at the start, these two kind of exist in a vacuum a little bit idk i had a self-enforced word count to stick to and broke it.. (im within the 10% allowance !), sunghoon in a vest, sunghoon arms, sunghoon

word count: 21,858

playlist: click here.. (for my non-spotify babes, the main song is light by wave to earth (which for some reason i put last.. whatever))

author's note: for silly @asahicore. happy birthday pooks i hope it's amazing and that u enjoy reading this when u have the time !!! LOL (lots of love) also im never writing without telling you things again this was so absurd.

to everyone else.. ok happy reading also emma did not beta read this so im sure it's missing its charm .. anyway it's for emma not you 😭 anyway i hope u enjoy regardless and lmk ur thoughts! omg this is the first fic im nervous about posting.......... please enjoy or else.

In the three years since Park Sunghoon moved away for university, he’d been doing a pretty good job of going home to see his parents. They’d welcome their baby back to the nest with open arms and wide grins. With a rehearsed level of indifference, his younger sister, Yeji, would say, “Oh, I didn’t know you were coming home this weekend.” when she saw him at the dinner table. Sunghoon pretended to only be marginally hurt by this. 

In the last three months, he hasn’t so much as sent a text to his parents. 

Or to you. 

Ignoring texts from his mother is devastating. Between classes, he watches as, “Hi, sweetie, I love you 😍,” turns into, “Missing you, honey, know you must be busy but spare some time for your old mummy, no?” which turns into, “Getting really worried now, are you doing okay? Has something happened with YN? Talk to me, I love you, my baby boy!” 

Ignoring texts from you is easy because texts from you never come. 

Sitting at the end of his bed, Sunghoon rereads a text his mother sent a few minutes ago: Please talk to me, son. Really worried and YN isn’t answering calls either. What’s going on with you two?

When he leaves his room, he finds Jake lying on the couch, and with his keys in hand, Sunghoon says, “I’m going home.” 

And the drive is great! At least, he tells his mum it is. In truth, the drive home without you was nearly impossible. Your ever-expanding home time playlist buzzed through the speakers in his car, but without you there to screech along to the songs, it wasn’t the same. He felt your absence the most when he stopped to get petrol and you weren’t there behind him struggling to carry enough snacks to feed a small family without offering to pay. 

The look of worry on his mum’s face stirs a pit in his stomach. “Why are you so quiet these days? God, you look so tired,” she says, frowning. “Is it school? Or something with YN? It’s not like her not to text back.” Her brows crease as she whispers the word unless. She pulls him into a hug, her chin resting perfectly on his shoulder, and her comforting hand strokes the hair on the back of his head. “Breakups are never easy, honey. I’m so sorry, I know how much you love her.” 

Breakups are never easy. The sentence hangs heavy over his head. 

Whether she knows it or not, she’s handed him a get-out-of-jail-free card, the opportunity to set things straight, to end this mess once and for all. No further questions, and most importantly, no more lies. 

For the first time since he left your flat three months ago, Sunghoon lets himself cry. He’d imagined this moment countless times, his first cry since you ended things. In his mind, it was always intense. Today, as it happens, only a few salty tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the cuff of his sleeve, darkening the blue cotton in tiny indigo splotches. 

“We didn’t break up,” he says in a small voice—for some reason. “I’m just having a hard time.” Neither statement is technically untrue, but the words taste rotten in his mouth.

The tightening grip of his mum’s arms around his body is what brings on the harsh, shoulder-racking sobs he’d been anticipating. For a while, they stand like this, Sunghoon weeping into his mum’s cardigan until she sends him upstairs to lie down, promising a cup of tea that never comes. 

His childhood bedroom is chilly, so he changes into clothes he left behind and climbs into bed, pulling his duvet up to his chin. He turns his head to look at the walls and the room around him, everything is exactly where he left it in the summer. It should be comforting, but it’s weird to be home without you. 

There are photos of you and him everywhere, growing up and around each other through different stages of life. The two of you together during the summer your family moved in next door, you wore glasses back then and were the first friend he’d made in his life. Sunbathing and sharing earphones at the beach, listening to music together on your iPod classic. Sunghoon in thick glasses with a stiff smile and your arm around him on the first day of high school. Wide grins at the start of this summer, the last time things were okay between you. 

Overwhelmed, he stares up at the ceiling, only realising he’s crying when a hot tear slips from his eyes to tickle his ear. Because Sunghoon likes to upset himself, he screws his eyes shut and thinks about the night before you stopped talking. 

Though he didn’t know it at the time, you’d left Yeonjun’s place to sit with him in a tiny restaurant on campus, the one you’d only visit to toast to each other’s heartbreaks. It had become a ritual — ever since your first year boyfriend dumped you after two weeks — to cry as much as you wanted and drink as much soju as your bodies could handle before stumbling back to your apartments. 

Having spent years suffering from an unrequited crush on his best friend, Sunghoon was always the one to comfort you. But that night was different; you were there to comfort him. It was easy enough to play the part of ‘boy whose crush likes someone else’ because he spent your entire friendship in that role. He’d had no problem accepting his fate, but his composure started to slip when you met Yeonjun. It was the first time you’d dated someone who Sunghoon had reason to be jealous of. In every way, Yeonjun was better than him—taller, funnier, hotter. Sunghoon knew he didn’t stand a chance. He took it personally, you liking Yeonjun instead of him, and let his jealousy consume him from the inside out. 

This jealousy led him to start telling you about Minjeong—lying to you about Minjeong, and his feelings for her. She was a girl from a college out of town that he saw on his Instagram Explore page. He followed her by accident, and by some stroke of luck, she followed back. Sunghoon didn’t really have feelings for her — he didn’t even know her — but she was a girl that you didn’t know, so you wouldn’t be able to meddle. 

It only took a few weeks for Sunghoon to become so upset about your relationship that he couldn’t hide his emotions anymore. So, in a fit of tears, he told you over the phone that things ended badly with Minjeong, and he was in urgent need of a soju ceremony. 

But the night was missing its usual comforts.

It was strange to be the one crying, to see you looking put together and ordering the food. To see you pouring the drinks and raising your glass to propose a toast to ‘Hoonie’s first heartbreak’. You were driving that night, so you only had a tiny sip of soju and let him drink as much as he needed, the way he always did for you, at the same table, in the same restaurant for years. 

Hours later, in your car, you entertained his drunken rambles, though he remembers how your lips were set into a frown that he wanted to kiss away while you gripped the steering wheel like you thought it would run from you. Sunghoon was more drunk than he’d been in a while, drunk enough to let you sling his arm over your shoulders and keep him upright until you reached his flat. 

The voices coming from Yeji’s room disrupt the memory. He’s thankful.

“Your brother’s going through something, so be nice to him this weekend.” His mother’s voice is her version of hushed—a loud whisper. 

Yeji’s response is harder to make out, but he doesn’t miss the way their mum says, “I mean it, missy.” 

A dramatic sigh rumbles through Yeji as she barges into his room without knocking. Sunghoon sits up, feeling an ache in his back and crossing his legs. 

“Mum told me to lay off you today, which is fine, but before I do, I need to tell you something.” 

Yeji pushes the door shut behind her, and the open window makes it slam, both of them flinching from the sudden noise. She pulls her hair out of a silk scrunchie and throws herself on the floor. A pang of irritation forms in his chest, knowing that he could immediately find the empty hanger in his wardrobe where the shirt she’s wearing used to live. 

“I hate you and your perfect golden boy image, Hoon. Would it kill you to fail a class for once? I don’t know how I’m supposed to carry on your legacy.” She’s looking up at him, her chin in her hands and irritation written in the crease between her thick brows. 

It’s impossible to know if it’s because of Yeji’s complete lack of boundaries or the fact that her ‘perfect, golden boy’ big brother is on track to fail three out of three classes and get cut from the hockey team, but Sunghoon immediately bursts into tears. 

“Oh, uh.. I’m sorry?” Yeji offers. “I was kidding if that helps.” 

“I’m alright, it’s okay.” The tears don’t stop stinging his eyes. “Why do you want me to change everything about myself?” 

With a frown, Yeji pours out her frustration and mild resentment. She doesn’t understand how Sunghoon effortlessly conquers every aspect of life while she struggles. Neither do their parents, who had been baffled by her plummeting grades since she moved to boarding school, especially when Sunghoon’s academic performance has only soared since he left for university. The weight of this perceived injustice pulls Sunghoon’s shoulders down with guilt as she talks about the expectations he has inadvertently set for her. 

“But other than that, I’m good.” She shrugs, sitting with her legs out, and leaning back on her palms. “How’s YN?” she asks. It’s clear from the brightness in her voice that she thinks she’s helping. 

Sunghoon cries again. 

Back on campus, he’s trying to scrape together what’s left of his academic career with the help of two of the smartest guys he knows, and their friend Jay. Though the word ‘friend’ feels a little strong at the moment given the way Jay’s goading him. 

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, sitting back in his seat. “There’s nothing you can do that I can’t,” he says, meaning every word. 

Jay scoffs, shrugging and raising his brow in a way that, over the years, Sunghoon knows to interpret as his ‘about to say something ridiculous’ look. “Pretty sure I could call YN right now, and she’d answer.” 

There’s a pit in Sunghoon’s stomach as Heeseung turns his head in the other direction like he’s been slapped, trembling with stifled laughter. At least Jake doesn’t hide his amusement, throwing his head back in a fit of giggles that draw nasty looks from the other students in the library. Sunghoon doesn’t waste his energy trying to argue because Jay’s right.

Now composed, Heeseung turns back to the table, flipping through some of Sunghoon’s course materials to find whatever his class was doing in class that week. The English Literature class he’s taking — The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway — is the same class he had to send a million emails over the summer to get enrolled in, but it’s the same one Heeseung aced two years ago. Lucky for him none of the boys seem to be in the mood to make fun of him for trying so hard to have a class in common with you, and then practically failing out of it before the term had started properly.

“This class is, like, beyond easy, dude.” Heeseung pauses to sniffle and twist the stud in his ear. “Everyone in my class aced it. How are you doing so badly already?” 

“I only took it because YN thought it’d be fun if we had a class together, but.. I kind of haven’t been going since we stopped talking.” Sunghoon shrugs, pretending to be unaffected. 

As if the mere mention of your name has some sort of summoning power, like saying Biggie Smalls in the mirror three times, you appear in his eye line, rounding the corner with a furious stride. Your demeanour crumbles when Jay waves at you, and you grin, waving back, but as soon as you look Sunghoon in the eye again, the rage comes back, and you smack a hand on the table when you reach it, leaning over to him. 

“Sunghoon, a word?” you ask.

He thinks you’re asking, but it’s hard to tell with the way you set your jaw afterwards, and the way the warmth of your signature vanilla scent hits him hard. Dazed, Sunghoon lifts a hand, pointing at himself. “Me?” 

“Does anyone else at the table answer to Sunghoon?” 

“Okay,” he says, somewhat pathetically, nudging Jay for laughing at him. 

As slowly as possible, Sunghoon pushes his chair from the table and stands up, following you to the corner of the references section where only anthropology students in scratchy thrift store knits, and Jay, come to check out encyclopaedias by volume. You look good, save for the rage written all over your face—which, honestly, Sunghoon thinks he likes.

Sunghoon isn’t sure what to expect, so he says, “Hey.” He’s being cautious, waiting a moment to gauge your reaction. “What’s gooooood?” His cheeks burn as soon as he closes his mouth around the vowel, but you laugh. You laugh, and it’s beautiful and happy, and you’re laughing because of him—or at him, but he’s glad either way. 

Annoyance quickly clears all traces of amusement on your face. “Were you ever going to tell me we’re spending next week at Mum and Dad’s?” you ask. 

Sunghoon gasps dramatically, clicking his fingers. “I knew there was something I’ve been meaning to do.” 

His attempt at lightening the mood falls flat, and you only nudge his shoulder gently, sighing. “Can you be serious? For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me?” You’re frowning, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at your feet. “It’s not fair, Sunghoon. For you to keep saying things—making plans involving me and then acting like I’m the bad guy when I turn you down.” 

“I don’t think you’re the bad guy at all,” Sunghoon admits. “If anyone is in the wrong, it’s me, I guess.”

You scoff, looking at him like you hate him. “You guess? Are you serious?” You look furious, but you sound hurt and Sunghoon hates it. Hates himself. “I can’t have this conversation with you right now. Tell mum I’m sick, and it’s contagious.” You roll your eyes and walk away, leaving Sunghoon alone with his thoughts and judgemental stares from students in crochet scarves so long they graze the floor. 

He sighs, slumping against the wall. How does he keep getting it wrong with you? 

Back at the table, Sunghoon manages to act like he’s not falling apart and makes some serious headway on his missing assignments with Heeseung’s help before they call it a day as the sun starts to set. 

When he gets home, he lies down on his bedroom floor, spending hours poring over the conversation you had. Over the minute changes in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, and the endless list of things he should have done, rather than watch you walk away. 

The moment feels familiar, both identical to and worlds apart from what happened after you left three months ago. When he managed to scrape the last shreds of his dignity from the kitchen table, he dragged his feet to his room and lay down like he is now, face to the rug. That day, he left his door open and lay so still that Jake thought he was dead. Sunghoon remembers wishing he had been. 

For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me? The words run on a loop in his mind, over and over, until he can’t remember the order of the sentence or where you put emphasis. They’re cutting all the same. 

Sunghoon sighs into the itchy fibres of his black rug before rolling onto his back. In the diminishing purple light of the setting sun. he looks at the walls of his room. At the Fleetwood Mac poster, he stole from Jay when they moved out of their first year dorm, that curls away from the wall towards the ceiling—a diagonal strip of shiny tape being the only indication of the otherwise invisible tear through the face of Stevie Nicks. 

He’s glad when his phone rings, cutting through the quiet, though the sight of your name and the anatomical heart emoji next to it only dampens his spirit. Reluctantly, Sunghoon answers the phone, holding it to his ear. 

“I just got off the phone with Dad..” You trail off. Tangible silence follows, so thick it weighs on his chest. “I’ll go home with you.” 

“You will?” 

“Yes. Goodbye.” 

Sunghoon reaches your flat at five in the evening. You don’t smile when you open the door for him, nor do you invite him in. Instead, you dump your bag at your feet and he cringes, looking from the floor to you. You’re aggressively beautiful and cosy-looking as you pull a jacket over the sweater you wore that night. Sunghoon’s heart aches in his chest and he wonders if you even realise. Suddenly, the memory of the last thing you said the morning after hits him like a truck: Then let’s not be friends at all. 

A familiar weight lands on his shoulder—your hand. Concern lines your eyes as you ask if he’s okay. 

With a lump in his throat, Sunghoon nods. 

In the discomfort of his car, the two of you sit in silence while he starts the drive home. 

“How’s Yeonjun,” he asks, eyes flicking towards you but regretting it immediately when he sees how you clench your jaw. 

“No,” you say simply, shaking your head. “You don’t get to ask me about him.” 

These are the only words you exchange until Sunghoon stops for petrol. He has enough fuel for the rest of the journey, but he feels like dying and thinks the fresh air might quell his thoughts of running his car off the road. Like always, the two of you get out and head into the kiosk, where he follows you wordlessly through the aisles, watching you debate on snack choices before settling on the same things you always get. Sunghoon pays for your snacks and you roll your eyes but don’t protest, mumbling thanks as you take them into your arms, leading the way back outside.

He knows he needs to tell you before you reach the house, but he’s not entirely sure how to say it—so he just does. “My, uh.. my parents think we’re dating.”

You stop so suddenly in front of him that he almost bumps into you. Stepping around you, Sunghoon keeps walking. 

Over the top of his car, he watches your face cycle through all five stages of grief until anger comes back around in the loop as you scoff. “Why do they think that?” Your face is devoid of expression now, the blankness over your features dragging a sharp chill over his spine. 

He stares blankly at you, processing. “Because I told them we’re dating,” he mumbles. 

“Why did you.. do that?” You tilt your head, eyes pressing shut in a long blink. “What are you even talking about? Why did you.. What?” 

A thin layer of sweat coats his palms despite the cold. Why did he do that? “We can stage a breakup during the trip or say we broke up right now,” Sunghoon offers. “Just one night, YN, please.” 

The wind whistles by, ruffling your hair and jacket that you hug tightly to your chest. Behind you, Sunghoon takes note of the group of girls standing by the pumps, all five of them jerking their heads abruptly when they notice him watching, suddenly finding interest in the scattered litter and flickering halogen bulbs in the steel canopy over their heads. 

You’re staring when he looks back at you, nostrils twitching with a sniffle before you sigh. “Or we could say that you’re a liar and end things there,” you say. “Or better yet, you go down there on your own and tell them the truth.”

Sunghoon’s gaze drops, his thoughts racing in his mind. He knows you’re right. At some point, his parents will have to find out, and it’d be better for them to find out now. Sunghoon sighs, nodding. “Alright,” he concedes. “I’ll take you back.”

An angry laugh comes out of you as you shake your head. “No need, I’ll walk.” 

The station you’re at is neatly nestled in the middle of nowhere, on a road so narrow he’s not even sure it has a pavement. You’re halfway through the three-hour drive, so there’s no telling how long the walk would be, never mind the fact that the sun is already setting and it’s deep enough into October for the wind to sting. 

“From here?” he asks, incredulous. 

“Yes, open the boot so I can get my bag.” 

Sunghoon can only bring himself to say your name, a desperate whisper. 

“Open the boot.”

He repeats your name as if it’ll make a difference, he’s pleading with you, begging—though he doesn’t know for what. 

You go to the back of his car where Sunghoon joins you, a pit in his stomach when you step away. With misty eyes, you look up at him and his heart breaks. “Please.”

Sunghoon knows you well enough to know that you’re not actually going to attempt the walk home but also knows that you won’t back down if he keeps challenging you. He nods, opening the boot for you and getting into the driver’s seat—your move. 

You stand there, unmoving, and long enough passes that he thinks you’ll actually leave. The boot closes softly and you join him in the passenger seat. You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. “Let’s just get this over with.” 

For the rest of the journey, you sit in silence as Sunghoon briefs you on the relationship, fighting a smile as he thinks about being your boyfriend—even if only for a night. You scoff when he ‘reminds’ you that you’ve been together for four months now and the only reason you haven’t been able to come home recently is that your schedules don’t match up very well anymore—which couldn’t be further from the truth as, before term started, you went out to celebrate the fact that your class schedules couldn’t be more suited for seeing each other. 

Finally, at Sunghoon’s childhood home, the two of you smile and laugh for his parents before going to bed. Your relationship has only made his mother more averse to the idea of you sharing a room under her roof than she had been when you were younger. He’s relieved about this, and in the solitude of his bedroom, he lies on the duvet of his twin bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the last few hours. 

With his parents, you’d sat up in the living room watching TV. They sat on the couch together, his mum nestled in his dad’s side, while you two sat on the couch opposite, mirroring their position. If your complete stiffness was anything to go by, you were less than comfortable with his arm around you and Sunghoon felt terrible for begging you to go along with this. It was after midnight when you all went upstairs and you let him kiss your forehead before all but slamming the door to the guest room in his face. His heart twirled and his mum beamed at him before saying goodnight again. 

Now, at 3 a.m. he can’t sleep. Flinching at the knock on his door, he furrows his brows and goes to open it. It’s you. Standing there with your hair scraped away from your face in one of his t-shirts. Your eyes are red, brimmed with tears as you step into his room and sit on his bed. 

He closes the door softly, heart aching at the sight of you so upset, and when he sits next to you, his heart tears apart because you move over, putting a distance between you. It falls out of his chest onto the floor when he realises you’re not wearing your necklace. 

Sunghoon suspected you might have stopped wearing it, it only made sense that if you didn’t want him, you wouldn’t want the necklace he bought for you either, but at least earlier, your sweatshirt sat so high he couldn’t see if you had it on or not. 

It was a gift for your sixteenth birthday, after your first heartbreak. He was so upset and angry that you let some loser hurt you that way, upset and angry that someone could be loved by you and fuck it up. Sunghoon was inspired by Jay, who’d gotten a pretty necklace for his girlfriend, and talked about her cute reaction for weeks, how happy she was to have a piece of him with her all the time. It was a locket, with a picture of Jay in one side and a picture of her in the other so the pictures would kiss when she wore it. 

While at the jewellers with Jake, Sunghoon thought something like that might be a bit much for the two of you and eventually picked out an equally pretty piece with his first initial on it. He wrote a corny note to put in the box, something about how ‘boys come and go but Sunghoon is forever’ and gave it to you with trembling hands a few nights later—it was the first time he ever made you cry. Immediately, he thought he’d done something wrong and was ready to snatch the box and run back to the jewellers (even though he trashed the receipt). You hugged him and told him you loved him. Sunghoon’s been riding that high ever since. 

Until tonight at least. 

“Are you okay?” he whispers. 

“I’ll do it, Hoon.” Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his gaze. “For as long as you need me to, I’ll pretend.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Sunghoon feels lighter, an unbearable weight slipping from his shoulders. You haven’t called him ‘Hoon’ in ages, and he can’t tell if you’ve said it out of vulnerability, or even noticed that you’ve said it at all, but it warms his heart nonetheless. However, he’s not fully at ease, still curious about your sudden change of heart and why you’re crying. 

“What happened?”

You pull him into a hug, and his eyes bulge out of his head. “It doesn’t matter,” you say, the words muffled by the skin at the base of his neck. 

For as long as he’s known you, you’ve smelled like vanilla, a sweet warmth that grounds him. Yet it’s only after these months apart that he’s able to put a name to the sensation: home. The realisation of how much he’s missed this feeling, missed you, floods him with a rush of emotion so overwhelming he can’t find the words to press the issue. A moment passes before he remembers to hug you back, his arms finally wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you sink into his hold. Months ago, he would have kissed the top of your head and mumbled reassurance into your hair, but tonight, Sunghoon settles for stroking the back of your head and hopes it’s enough. 

“You can talk to me, you know? You can always talk to me.”

A heavy silence follows, sharp as a dagger—scraping his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge and lodging itself between his shoulder blades. Sunghoon’s breath hitches in his throat when you cling onto him even tighter, shifting so close you’ve had to settle in his lap. His heart races in his chest, pounding a rhythm so loud it fills the room. 

Finally, you speak, assuring him that you know and that you’re okay. At this, Sunghoon holds you as tight as he can, and neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You fall asleep like this, in his arms, so deeply that you don’t even stir when he lies down. 

Rubbing your back, he watches the clock on his nightstand, the piercing green LED digits cycling through two whole hours right before his stinging eyes until you wake up. Sunghoon presses his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep when you kiss his cheek and leave his room. 

For the entire morning, you stay in your room, and although Sunghoon is concerned, he decides not to bother you. In the afternoon, he sits at the dining table with his mum, listening as she talks about work. When she asks him, he gets up to make a cup of tea for her. It’s at that moment when you finally come downstairs, looking so effortlessly pretty. Your hair is still damp from the shower, and you’re bundled up in one of his old sweatshirts. There’s a bright grin on your face that leaves his heart thudding. 

“Baby!” you squeal when you see him, charging towards him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. “Good morning.” Your words are muffled against the back of his t-shirt, and the four-letter word, and the sugar coating it, make his cheeks burn. 

“It’s great to see you too, YN,” his mum says with a smile. “My night was amazing; I slept very well and had no dreams.” 

You let go of Sunghoon and walk over to the table, kissing his mum on the cheek and wishing her a good morning as well. “Sorry, mum, how are you?” 

His mother doesn’t seem to have the heart to correct you either, allowing your 3 p.m. ‘good morning’ to go unnoticed. 

Sunghoon carefully fills both mugs to the brim and, with extra caution, carries them to the table. He places a steaming cup of peppermint tea in front of his mum and a milky coffee in front of you. A warm smile spreads across your face as you mouth a ‘thank you’, and his knees turn to jelly. 

The next day, after eating an early dinner with his parents at the table, the four of you go out on a walk along the bike path you used to take for school. His parents have gone ahead, not intentionally, but because Sunghoon can’t stop you from dragging your feet. 

As with most things in the town where you grew up, nothing about the trail has changed. The leaves are yellowing in standard form for the season, and crunching under his feet with each step he takes. The only foreign experience is the silence that you’re determined to uphold. Everything Sunghoon says to you is met with either a hum, a nod, or no acknowledgement at all. At this point, he feels like he could drop dead at your side and the most you’d do is step over his body like a fallen branch. 

After letting you go ahead, the weathered slats of the wooden footbridge sag in the middle under his tread. It’s been like this for as long as he can remember and he wonders how nothing has been done about it. The stream rushes under it, loud and unruly, the smell of wet grass both comforting and suffocating as you look over the railing. It’s like something from a postcard, the low-hanging branches sweeping back and forth under the breeze, the grass lush and green around the path, murky water thrashing against the mud and rocks underneath with you in the middle of the frame, peering over the edge.

You keep walking when Sunghoon approaches, leaving him alone on the creaky bridge with nothing but the ache in his chest. He looks up, staring at the grey clouds in the sky through the gaps in the leaves, and sighs. 

Eventually, he catches up with you, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours when his parents slow down. You stiffen, looking up at him with cut eyes and a creased brow. “What are you doing?”

Sunghoon matches your clipped tone. “Holding my girlfriend’s hand.” 

“No one’s looking, boyfriend.”

“You think my parents aren’t going to wonder why we’re lagging behind?” 

A scoff—your fingers remain defiantly stiff. “Do you think your parents are going to care whether or not we’re holding hands?” 

“My mum might after the show you put on yesterday afternoon, baby.” Bitterness covers the word like a blanket, a stark departure from how you said it. 

A long sigh rumbles its way out of you before you fix your lips into a strained grin. “Sorry, sweetheart, this is my first time pretending to be in love.” 

As your words hang in the air, Sunghoon’s emotions brew like a storm within him. Frustration gnaws at his patience. All hopes for a smooth week are dashed, though determination simmers in his chest with a strong resolve to make this work, to fix your relationship. It doesn’t stop the sharp pang of hurt piercing his stomach—he knows you don’t feel the same way, he knows you’re faking, but the word ‘pretending’ hits him like a truck anyway. 

“We held hands all the time when we were friends,” he points out.

Your smile drops immediately, hurt flashing behind your eyes. “Yeah, and now we’re not.” 

If there was a competition for who could hurt Sunghoon’s feelings the most, you’d be a shoo-in for first place. With distinction. 

“Exactly!” he says, feeling the sting of his own words. “Because now we’re dating.”

At the sight of his mum turning around, you switch up in an instant. Lock your fingers with his, wrapping an arm around his bicep, leaning into him, giggling. It’s forced but his parents are far enough away that all that matters is the curve of your lips.

“You two okay back there?” she asks. 

“Perfect! I feel like a kid again!” you call back, beaming up at Sunghoon in a way that makes his stomach flutter even though it doesn’t meet your eyes. 

The two of you don’t talk at all when you get home, with you hugging his parents goodnight and running up the stairs. 

“She’s not feeling too well,” he explains, nodding when his dad tells him to make you some tea. 

His parents spend the whole day at work, and you spend the whole day following him around like a shadow until the evening when they return. He doesn’t pretend not to like it.

Sunghoon helps you make dinner, turning leftover rice into fried rice with the help of some eggs and vegetables. It’s nice moving around the kitchen with you, watching you scramble eggs in his t-shirt and bump his hip with a playful frown when he eats some of the peppers you’re chopping. 

His parents watch from the table, cooing over the two of you and he does his best to fight the blush forming on his cheeks and neck. Embarrassed, he hugs you from behind, hiding his face in your neck—the scent of your coconut conditioner mixing with your vanilla perfume doesn’t do anything to stop the flush. 

Over a bottle of wine, the four of you eat together at the table, swapping stories about your days. Sunghoon tries to hide his surprise as you lie about the time you spent at the play park by your primary school, competing for height on the swings and spinning on the roundabout until you couldn’t stand up. You grin at him, and it meets your eyes as you hold his hand under the table, and kiss his cheek.

After eating, his parents head upstairs, leaving to clean up together. You hum a song he’s never heard as you load the dishwasher, carefully placing the plates and cutlery in the rack, shaking your head when he hands you the glasses you’d used. 

“Leave ours,” you say. “If you want.” 

Sunghoon nods, putting them back on the table, where you sit in the seat across from the one he was sitting in. He sits too, staying quiet rather than saying the wrong thing. You don’t speak either. It’s reminiscent of the past—the hours you’d spend in the same room, only speaking to share a funny post you’d come across or to ask if you were hungry. 

His eyes track your movements—reaching for the half-empty bottle on the table to pour yourself another glass, filling it to the brim. Before putting it down, you offer him some, filling his glass too when he nods. The three glasses of wine he’s already had must be the reason he wants to reach across the table and hold your hand, run his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it. 

Sunghoon doesn’t know why you’ve been so nice to him all day or why it makes his chest hurt. 

“You know you don’t have to be nice to me when we’re alone, right?” The words come out before he can stop them.

Over the top of your glass, your brows knit together. A sound of confusion, a low hum, comes from your throat as you try to finish your sip. “What?” you ask finally. 

“I only asked you to do this because of my parents, you know? You don’t have to sit or talk with me when they’re not around.” 

Sunghoon’s known you long enough to recognise the look that flashes across your face. The way your eyes narrow and your brows tug together, the little pout that sets on your lips before you speak; you’re hurt.

“Why can’t I just be nice to you because it’s the right thing to do?” 

Because it hurts, is what he wants to say. He wants to cry, to beg you to forget everything he said that day. “Because I don’t want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have.” Is what he settles for. 

Your face softens. “I don’t feel uncomfortable around you, Hoon. We were best friends for ages, I don’t think you could ever make me uncomfortable.” You pause to take a gulp of wine. “Why can’t I just want to be nice to you?” 

Sunghoon has to chew on his cheek to distract himself from how much your word choice stings. The implications of were and all of your past tense. “I’m sorry,” he says. 

“What for?” 

“Everything.” 

There’s a sadness in the way you run your fingers on the base of your glass. The way you chew on your lip, how your hair falls when you tilt your head and how it moves when you shake it. “It’s not your fault,” you say. “I don’t know anyone who would choose to have unrequited feelings for their best friend.” 

Wow, he thinks. You’re on a roll. Sunghoon wonders if you’re meticulously choosing your phrasing to upset him. Wonders why you feel the need to remind him that his feelings aren’t reciprocated as if he didn’t live through and spend hours reliving the day he confessed. 

“But I didn’t have to tell you about it. It was unfair of me to spring that on you when I knew about Yeonjun.” 

“Did you.. did you think I was going to leave him for you?” 

“Maybe?” Sunghoon chews on his lip—he has no idea what he thought would happen. “I think I thought I loved you enough for both of us, that you might play the part for fun or out of curiosity, and.. I don’t know, just learn to love me.”

“Hoon,” you whisper, frowning. “How could you even think about settling for something like that?” 

Sunghoon shrugs. “It’s not settling if it’s you.” 

Silence takes a seat at the table after he speaks, interrupted only by the ticking clock on the wall—a glittery mess of scrapbooking paper and washi tape layered over each other that Yeji had decorated at summer camp years ago. You’re picking at your fingernails, letting flecks of black polish fall to the table, stark against the varnished oak. 

“I know it’s not my place to ask,” Sunghoon starts after a while, hesitant and only continuing when you nod. “But what did Yeonjun say when you told him? About.. everything?” 

You take a long sip from your glass and sit quietly for so long that he thinks you’re not going to answer him—he doesn’t blame you. 

“I didn’t.” 

He waits for you to elaborate. You don’t. 

Sunghoon nods slowly, deciding not to ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he takes another drink, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste. “He didn’t ask why we stopped hanging out?” he blurts out.

“I told him we fell out but I didn’t say why.” You shrug, but your posture is stiff. 

“Where did you tell him you were going to be this week?” He knows it’s not his business at all, that he’s pushing your boundaries, but he can’t help his curiosity.

“Nowhere.” 

“You told him you were staying on campus?” 

“I didn’t tell him anything.” Your gaze shifts, avoiding his as you toy with the stem of your glass. You drum your nails against it, letting the dull clink ring out. 

“So you just left?” 

“Does it make a difference to you?” 

Sunghoon nods.

For a while, you tug at the drawstrings on your hoodie, pursing your lips to the side, considering this. “Yeonjun and I aren’t together anymore.” Your admission is so shocking that Sunghoon’s jaw drops. He tries to cover his surprise by coughing, his tongue sticking out like a small child. “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want you to think it was because of you.” 

Sunghoon’s thoughts move at lightspeed, too fast for him to catch onto any of them and process this information. His emotions compete with each other—disbelief, guilt, and a painful glimmer of hope he hadn’t dared to acknowledge until now all at the forefront. 

“Was it?” he asks. “Because of me?” 

You scoff—an incredulous sound that doesn’t match the sad look on your face. “I don’t know, Sunghoon. Do you think my boyfriend used me to make his ex jealous because of you?”

He’s not sure what he expected you to say, but this is.. Complete disbelief eclipses him as his heart sinks in his chest, shock, and guilt bubbling in his stomach. 

“I’m sorry,” he says after too long. “That I wasn’t there. That I haven’t been there.” 

“You didn’t know,” you say, gaze softening as you look up at him. 

“But I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about it.” 

You shake your head. “I made me feel like I couldn’t talk to you about it. All you did was change the friendship, I’m the one who ended it.”

“I still should’ve been there.” 

“You’re here now, right?” 

Sunghoon nods, earnestly. “Always.” 

Only one thing comes to mind when you repeat the word ‘always’ before taking a sip from your glass, downing its contents. Sunghoon gets up and crosses the room with wobbly steps to open the fridge, where he pulls out as many bottles of soju as he can hold in his hands and puts them down on the table. He goes back to collect some glasses from the cabinet, puts some of the leftover fried rice from dinner into the microwave, and brings it all over when it’s done, with bowls and utensils. You watch him with a fond smile as he opens a bottle and he hopes you think the flush on his cheeks is from all the drinking you’ve been doing. 

“Is it bad that I’ve missed doing this?” You’re grinning now.

Sunghoon shakes his head, raising his glass. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak.” 

You grin, clinking the rim of your glass against his. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak,” you repeat. 

Both of you down the glasses, and Sunghoon refills them, pouring the soju with an oddly steady hand. As you eat spoonfuls of rice and sip your drinks, silence settles over the room. The soft glow of the kitchen lights forms a warm ambience, a cosy familiarity that brings up simple memories—doing homework together at the table while gossiping about your classmates, the first New Year after you were both eighteen and had your first drink with his parents. 

For at least an hour, the only sounds are the occasional clinks of forks against bowls, glasses hitting the table, the faint hum of the refrigerator and the steady tick of Yeji’s clock. Sunghoon’s eyes meet yours, and he can’t help but notice the slight change in your expression when they do. 

You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. “This is my sixteenth, actually.” 

“What?” 

You take a small sip of soju, staring down at the table. “My fifteenth heartbreak was losing you. Yeonjun is my sixteenth.”

In the two days since your soju ceremony, Sunghoon finds himself sinking into the role of your boyfriend like a hot bath. But there’s no use pretending it doesn’t hurt. Pretending it doesn’t hurt when you kiss his cheek before bed, or when you reach out to push the hair out of his face or snuggle into his side on the couch; because it does hurt—a lot. It hurts to think that in three days when you put your bags in the boot of his car, you’ll sit in silence all the way home. When he drops you off at your flat, you’ll close the door in his face and stop talking to him again. These realisations are harder to confront when he’s alone in his room, like now. 

About an hour ago, you asked if you could borrow his car, saying there was something you needed to do on your own. It seemed important, so he handed over his keys with no question. Sighing, Sunghoon gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, where he jerks off to clear his mind. On his way back to his room, he notices the light leaking from the open kitchen door that illuminates the landing. 

He hears the lock on the front door clicking, and stands at the top of the stairs, dripping water onto the carpet while listening attentively. His ears perk up when he hears a gasp—his mother. 

“What’s this for?” she asks. 

“I just..” You trail off. “I know it’s not much, but I wanted to thank you both for always looking after me.” You pause, and Sunghoon holds his breath, waiting. Your voice trembles as you continue. “It’s been hard since my parents went back home, and I guess it was still hard when they were here, but you both supported me. I don’t think I could’ve managed without you guys. I want to make you guys proud, you know? And I’m trying, really, so this is me saying thank you. I’m sorry it took me so long.” 

He grips the railing by the landing, digging his nails into the wood until they start hurting—an ache in his fingertips that makes him wince. 

An odd feeling settles in his stomach, a bittersweetness tinged in his fondness for you, and the gentle shock of realising how much his parents have done for you. Growing up, you became an honorary member of Sunghoon’s family. His parents showered you with gifts during holidays and birthdays, which you often celebrated with them rather than your own family. 

The memory of your parents’ sudden decision to move across the country still lingers, and Sunghoon vividly recalls the tearful conversation he overheard at the top of the stairs. Your parents understood the enormity of their request but had earnestly asked if Sunghoon’s parents could continue looking after you. 

His chest tightens when you start crying. 

“You don’t have to thank us for anything, sweetie. Just you being here and taking care of our boy is more than enough thanks. You never forget our birthdays, and you always come and visit when you can. You’re doing a great job, and you should give yourself some credit,” his dad says, a little choked up. “We’ve always been proud of you.” 

Sunghoon’s eyes sting with tears and his skin gets dry in the spots where the water from the shower is evaporating. He presses his fingers to his closed eyes, forcing a few tears to fall and walks the rest of the way to his room with his eyes shut. He can’t hear anything through his closed bedroom door, which he decides is a good thing as he coats himself in moisturiser and swipes deodorant under his arms with intention to spend the whole night alone. Once he’s dressed, he gets into bed and pretends not to be bothered by the way his wet hair dampens his pillow. Under the duvet, he tosses and turns before sighing and heading to Yeji’s room.

In her absence, the room’s subtle transformation is stark. The sage green-painted walls, once a backdrop to the A3 faces of Wave to Earth and Beabadoobee, now bear the faint imprints of those missing posters. Tiny, shadowy rectangles are the only remnants of the 6x4-sized pictures of her and her friends, of her and Sunghoon, that she took away with her to school.

Her hairdryer is still on her desk where she’d left it for him to use and he sits in her stiff wooden chair, plugging it in. The airflow starts immediately, hot and loud, humming throughout the space as he runs his fingers through his wet hair, feeling cosy under the heat. His shampoo is fresh and soapy scented under his nose, and his reflection watches him in Yeji’s mirror, eyes red and concerned while his hair blows around his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and finishes his hair, sighing as he lets his worries slip under the whir of the fan. 

Finished, he shuts off the dryer and opens his eyes, flinching at your reflection in the doorway behind him with a soft smile on your face. “Mum and Dad are going to open a bottle of wine if you want to join,” you say, meeting his eyes in the mirror. 

Sunghoon can’t find it in himself to speak, only nodding in response. You smile wider but don’t move. He unplugs the hairdryer and leaves it on the desk where he found it before crossing the room. Without giving himself a chance to think about it, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, smiling into your hair when you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him closer. 

You’re sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mumbling sleepily that you’re never going to drink again, and Sunghoon leans over the sink brushing his teeth, he’s glad you have the decency to cover your mouth as you speak. 

“Brush your teeth and go back to sleep then,” he mumbles around his toothbrush. 

You don’t respond. 

Sunghoon sighs through his nose, spitting foamy toothpaste into the sink, leaving bubbly, blue splatters on the porcelain. “And quit staring at me, I can feel your beady little eyes on the back of my neck and it’s freaking me out.” 

“But you’re so pretty,” you coo. 

There’s a flutter in his stomach and he rinses off the sink and his mouth, buying himself some time. With a hand on the Listerine, he lifts his gaze to meet yours in the mirror and stops short. You’re still staring at him, features soft and glowing under the afternoon light. You look like an angel; a gentle smile spreading over your lips, and a sleepy glint sparkling in your eyes, wide and gorgeous as you watch him. Sunghoon gulps, mumbling his thanks and looking back at himself. He hopes you can’t see the flush on his cheeks. 

“Go back to sleep,” he says. 

“Will you come and lie down with me if I do?” Your voice is a sleepy drawl, coming out in a slow, high-pitched slur, and your eyes are closing on themselves. 

Lying down doesn’t sound like a terrible idea, especially not if it’s with you, so he nods. “If you brush your teeth, then yeah, baby, I’ll lie down with you.” 

You chuckle softly at Sunghoon’s agreement, the sound carrying a mix of exhaustion and genuine amusement, showing no repulsion to him calling you the B-word. He didn’t mean to, it’s been a confusing few days. You nod, saluting to him and getting up to join him by the sink, using your hip to bump him out of the way, but he feels like he’s glued to the spot. 

“Move, baby,” you mumble sleepily, reaching for your toothbrush. “We can cuddle in my bed,” you suggest, to which Sunghoon only nods, taking your words as a cue to unstick his feet from the floor and go to your room, playing the word ‘baby’ on a loop in his head. 

He stands in the doorway staring at your bed, the duvet is all crumpled in the middle, and the pillows are in an L shape at the top corner. He sighs, he can’t go on like this, can’t stand around hoping even a tiny part of you called him ‘baby’ and it meant something for you as it did for him. It’s not fair for him to project his feelings on you like this, but he can’t help it. You’re already pretending for his parents, so would it be so bad to pretend for his sake as well? Even if only until the day after tomorrow when you leave? 

The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you snaps him out of his thoughts, your bright smile making his heart race when you tug him by the sleeve to your bed where the mattress dips underneath you as you curl into his form, resting your head on his chest and falling asleep. You’ve shared the bed before, countless times, but he knows you’ve only asked him because you’re tired. Because your brain is foggy with drowsiness that clouds your judgement, not because you want him there, not because you miss him when he’s two doors down the hall, tossing and turning at night thinking about you. He wonders absently if you can feel his aching heart beating through his chest, a painful, yet all too familiar rhythm that pulls his own eyes shut, plunging him into a deep sleep too.

It’s dark in the room when he wakes up, the sun already down behind the curtains and the soft yellow of the bedside lamp casting a glow around the space. You’re staring up at him, smiling and you don’t look away when he catches you. “What is it?” he asks, voice thick with sleep. 

“Nothing,” you mumble. “I just missed you.” Sunghoon has no time to respond or even register what you said before you clear your throat, speaking again.  “Come on, dad’s cooking tonight, he’ll need help.” 

Helping Sunghoon’s dad with dinner always looks an awful lot like Sunghoon eating snacks on the kitchen counter and staring at you as you help his dad cook. Tonight is no exception, he’s sitting on the island, and his snack of choice is a family pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos his mum bought for Yeji. He’ll have to remember to replace them before leaving seeing as he’s reaching the halfway point. 

You go back and forth with his dad about measurements, with you rummaging through the drawers for measuring cups while his dad says it’s best to trust your gut. Reluctantly, you nod, chewing the inside of your cheek as you watch him eyeball the seasoning. 

The gas stove turns the kitchen into an oven, and you complain about it while opening a window, pulling your hoodie over your head and leaving it in Sunghoon’s lap. Time stops when you grin at him, the light from the stove hood illuminating the necklace you’re wearing, his initial resting on your chest and glowing under the light. He chokes around a crisp when he sees it, catching your attention with his coughing. 

“You’ll spoil your dinner, snacking like that, baby,” you scold, using a hand to push his knee. “We’re almost done, I swear.” 

All he can do is nod, cheeks burning as he folds the crisp packet over before putting it back in the bread bin where he found it. 

“Wow,” his dad says, resting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in amusement. “Being in love looks good on him, he’d never have listened if I said that.” 

It’s already your last day when Sunghoon picks up Yeji from school. She grumbles for the entire half-hour drive and all the way to the front door about why the two of you couldn’t have started the trip today instead of ending it, but all of her irritation dissolves when she sees you in the hallway, leaving the front door wide open to fling her arms around you. You and Yeji exchange compliments for a while — You look so pretty. No, you look so pretty. I love your hair. I love your hair. — as Sunghoon locks the door and watches with a smile.

“God.” Yeji sighs, holding you by the waist and craning her neck up to look at you, as you push some of her hair from her face, pinning back her wispy bangs with the palm of your hand. Yeji giggles. “I’m so happy you two are together, even though I have no idea what a girl like you sees in my loser brother.” 

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Despite his mild irritation at Yeji’s words, he finds the sight of you with her so adorable his stomach flutters. Over the top of Yeji’s head, you look at him with a fond smile. “He’s not so bad.” 

It doesn’t sound like a compliment, but Sunghoon takes it to heart. 

Like always, Yeji manages to capture your undivided attention and the two of you giggle and whisper with each other all afternoon while Sunghoon watches, too enamoured by the sight to care about being left out. An hour or so passes like this, until his parents get home from work, excited to see Yeji after a few weeks, and you leave her side, coming to cuddle with Sunghoon instead. 

It’s nice being home with everyone, laughing and sharing a meal before his family walks the two of you to his car with at least a month’s worth of cooked food for you to share at university. Yeji makes you pinky promise that she can visit you and waves with a pout on her face until the car is out of view.

Contrary to what he’d been expecting, the drive back is nice. Your playlist is on, and you’re telling him about all the new songs you added, catching him up on things with Chaewon and Yunjin, and all the things you got up to in the time you spent apart. You tell him about a new café that opened up near your place and how you’ll have to go together when he has the time, and Sunghoon bites his tongue before telling you that he always has time for you. The first half of the trip goes on like this but you start dozing off around the halfway mark, your sentences becoming few and far between, eventually turning into half-mumbled thoughts that end prematurely. 

You’re still asleep when he reaches your flat, head propped up against the window with your soft lips parted, looking too pretty and cosy to wake up. Instead, he drives in circles around your block, deciding to wait for you to wake up on your own. It only takes a half-hour but you blink your eyes open, stretching your neck before looking around and out the car window, recognising the street. You don’t say anything, only smiling when you look at him, a small curve of your lips that makes his heart race.

He gets out of the car with you, opening the boot to get your bag before pulling you into his chest for a hug, liking the way your arms settle around his waist. “Thank you,” he mumbles into your hair. 

Sunghoon doesn’t follow you when you take your bag from him, only watching from the back of his car. You don’t notice until you reach the main door, looking over your shoulder and frowning at him. “Aren’t you going to walk me up?” 

The two of you walk in silence up four flights of stairs as the lift in your building is out of order. Your bag feels much heavier in his hand now than it did outside. At your door, he watches you dig around for your keys, sighing with relief when you find them. 

“Do you want to come in?” you ask from your open doorway.

“I—uh—I have training in the morning and I’m already pretty tired, so..” He trails off.

Unfazed, you nod. “Right, of course. I had fun this week.” 

“Yeah, me too.” 

You smile at him, sweet and sincere. “Text me when you get home, yeah?” 

Sunghoon nods, saying goodbye. Out of habit, he doesn’t leave your doorstep until he hears the lock click shut, and walks back to his car with his head down. 

True to his word, he sends you a text to let you know he got back to his place safely and you read it immediately but don’t reply. It’s empty in the apartment, Jake is out with his football team and the space is larger than usual in his absence. Far too tired to even consider going out and joining him, Sunghoon goes through his night routine, putting his phone on the charger and stepping into the shower where he spends entirely too long wishing he could live in this week forever as he scrubs his body. With brushed teeth and damp hair, he goes back into his room where his phone lights up with a notification; a text, from you.

YN🫀: i’m glad you got home okay, i just got into bed :) i don’t want to make you uncomfortable or overstep or anything and you can say no (obviously).. i’ve been missing you so much and didn’t know how to reach out or if you wanted me to but i had soooo much fun this week and spending time with you again made me happy, so i’d like it if we could keep hanging out, like before yk? ik it’s a long shot ahahaha but just say you’ll think about it? 

hoonie: You’re not overstepping at all, I’ve missed you too, so bad. I had soooo much fun this week as well and I’d like it a lot if we kept hanging out, thank you for agreeing and coming along 😚 If you’re free after Lit tmrw you could come over? Or we could go out and do something, whatever you prefer

hoonie: I missed you so much.. 

hoonie: 🤍

The texts greet you as the first rays of Monday morning light filter into your room, instantly lifting your mood. Your bright smile doesn’t escape Chaewon’s notice as you find her in the kitchen, bathed in the soft light seeping through the sheer curtains. The kettle is boiling with a loud rumble that fills the whole room and leaves her yelling as she speaks to you. 

“Good trip?” she asks, coming over and hugging you. “Never leave me for that long again,” she mumbles into your shirt. 

“It was a week, Wonie,” you say, rolling your eyes even though you missed her too. 

She leans away, looking at you with knitted brows. “It was nine days.” 

“The longest of my life.” 

Chaewon pulls air through her teeth, tilting her head and releasing you. “That bad, huh?” she asks, walking back to her seat at your tiny square table and shooting you a look that tells you to join her. 

During your trip, you gave her nightly updates over text, so you know she knows how much you enjoyed yourself, but you elaborate anyway, sitting across from her. 

“No, not at all,” you say, shaking your head and trying to fight a smile. “I had fun.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the grin curving them; it doesn’t work. 

Chaewon raises a suggestive brow, crossing her arms over her chest. “How much fun?” 

“You’re disgusting.” 

“I didn’t even say anything!” she defends, holding her hands up. “I made an implication. It was only a matter of time, you two have that whole.. lifelong best friends to lifelong lovers thing going on, and it’s hot.” 

“Shut up.” 

“You’re telling me, you spent nine days playing lovers with Sunghoon and you still don’t want him? You’re a lost cause, people would kill for that chance,” she says, tilting her head. “I think I would kill for that chance.” 

“Don’t touch him.”

“Oh?” 

“Jesus, Chaewon, it’s not like that. Hoon’s too sensitive for your roster.” 

“I never said it was like anything, you’re the one who’s dangling me over the ledge for saying I want to fuck your hot best friend.” 

“Sunghoon isn’t hot; he’s..” You find yourself at a loss for words, unsure how to continue your lie. Of course, Sunghoon is hot, you’ve known since you were seventeen and spent the summer at your grandparents’ house, only to come back to find your previously scrawny best friend having ditched his LEGOs for dumbbells. You sigh. “Just leave him alone.”

Chaewon grins, eyes sparkling as she leaves the table. “Okay,” she says in a singsong voice, leaving you and the irritation in your stomach alone in the kitchen.

You sigh, pressing your eyes shut and trying to will away your discomfort. It’s not like Chaewon would actually try anything with Sunghoon. Right? Even if she did, it wouldn’t bother you, nor would it be any of your business. They’re grownups and reserve the right to explore their options. Still, there’s a nagging feeling you can’t shake, an uninvited guest in the back of your mind. 

When you check your phone, you realise you have half an hour before you need to head to campus, so you leave to get ready and text Sunghoon back on the way to your room.

you: sounds good, see u later 🤍

After showering, you stand in front of your wardrobe, towel hanging from your body as you pick an outfit. For some reason, you feel under pressure, picking a pair of jeans that do the most for your ass and a low-cut top that Sunghoon once — drunkenly — said he loved on you.

You have the residual sting of mouthwash on your tongue, and one foot out the door when your phone vibrates in your hand. 

hoonie: Do you want to head to class together? 

you: sure! i’m omw out, where should i get you? 

hoonie: .. I’m outside your building :D 

Breathing a laugh through your nose, you don’t fight the giddy smile on your face as you make your way downstairs to meet Sunghoon. Through the glass in the main door, he’s standing at the edge of the pavement and kicking a stone between his feet. The top of his puffer jacket covers the bottom half of his face, and the draught nips your skin when the door opens. Two girls you vaguely recognise stumble in with smudged makeup and heels in their hands, smiling at you while holding the door to let you out.

“Hey!” you call out, jogging over to him. 

Sunghoon turns around, his head poking out of his jacket to grin at you, holding a travel cup and an abundance of tinfoil in your direction. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d have eaten anything yet, you don’t normally in the morning,” he says, a sheepish smile spreading over his lips when you take it. “Matcha. Ham and cheese toastie.” 

“Did you make these?” you ask, inspecting the familiar cup and appreciating the warmth it provides. 

He hums, nodding his head.

You ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks and thank him with a hug, grinning when he offers to hold your drink while you eat on the walk. The toastie is still hot, the cheese coming close to burning your tongue as you chew, but you appreciate it wholeheartedly, humming contently with each bite. When you’re done, you shove the foil into your pocket, taking your drink from him and smiling around the sweet taste of a matcha latte as he tells you about his schedule for the day. 

“I’m meeting with Coach after class to talk about my grades, but I’m all yours after that.” 

“Talk about your grades? What’s wrong with your grades?” 

Sunghoon groans, head falling back and highlighting the bump of his Adam’s apple. “My grades are.. I failed my coursework this month, so I have resubmissions during finals, and I think he’ll bench me if I fail again.” 

He sounds like he’s being serious, and if the look on his face is anything to go by, he is. The news creases your brows because for as long as you remember, Sunghoon’s grades were your parents’ favourite point of comparison.

“Really?” you ask. He nods. “What’s up? Is something the matter?” 

A humourless laugh slips out of him before he pulls air through his teeth. “Yeah, my best friend didn’t talk to me for three months.” 

“Oh..” Guilt stirs your stomach as you look up at him. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not blaming you, it’s not like I was trying to talk and you ignored me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow, giving you a warm smile. “But if you feel as guilty about it as you look, you can tutor me for Lit.” 

“Deal.” 

Sunghoon grins, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and holding you close; the action itself isn’t unusual, but the increased heart rate it brings about is. “You’re too good to me,” he says, holding onto you for the rest of the walk to class.

At his request, you sit with Sunghoon in the back row, watching as the lecture hall gradually fills up in front of you. He seems well-prepared, with his laptop and a small notepad and pen neatly arranged on the desk in front of him.

Throughout the class, your eyes inadvertently track his every move. He diligently types up colour-coded notes, occasionally pausing to write things in his notepad before continuing to type or stopping entirely to listen. There’s something melodic about his actions and the way his fingers run over the keyboard. 

During a five-minute break, you glance at his screen. What you find is more than just lecture content; it’s a document adorned with Sunghoon’s own musings about Hemingway’s style and carefully analysed quotations that go beyond the class discussion.

“How are your notes so good?” 

“I picked up the book over the summer when you mentioned it,” Sunghoon replies with a shrug, a shy smile playing on his lips as he leans back in his seat. “I liked it.” 

A slow nod is your response, though your thoughts swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze. The last time Sunghoon read for leisure, you were in primary school, buddy reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But this—this is different. You can’t help but stare at him, awestruck as you take him in. His eyes are wide, shining amber in the sunlight as he pushes some of his hair from his face, frowning when it falls back where it was. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” he mumbles. 

Sunghoon takes a new line in his document and points at the screen where you watch the cursor move through the words he’s typing: I would’ve read and annotated the Bible if you wanted me to..

There’s no time to digest what he wrote or the funny feeling in your chest as you reread it before he deletes the whole sentence, pressing his lips together and looking out the window. Speechless, you stare at his side profile, willing your heart rate to slip back to normal. Steep-sloping nose, plump lips flattened into a line, two points of the triangular mole constellation on his face. Analysis worsens your condition, breath hitching in your throat before stopping entirely. Warmth and trepidation blend within you, fuzzy enough at the edges to seem like one thing—a single force that makes your palm itch with desire, desperation, to reach out and run a finger over his features, feel the bump of the mole on his nose — the most prominent — against your skin. 

You remain this way — silent, watching — even when your lecturer resumes the lesson, and Sunghoon starts typing, writing, and listening again. Polite enough to pretend he doesn’t notice your gaze searing into his face.

After class, and his meeting with Coach, you let Sunghoon lead the conversation and the way to your flat, where you find Chaewon and Yunjin sitting on the couch, whispering to themselves while the two of you study at the coffee table. It’s uncomfortable, an awkward height, too high for the way you’re sitting but you feel calm under the supervision of Chaewon and Yunjin—you won’t do anything to merit teasing in front of them, no matter how badly you want to feel Sunghoon’s face in your hands or stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs. 

To the best of your ability, you answer the questions he has for you—he’d written a ton in his tiny notepad during class, his own concerns clear with each neatly-penned iteration of: How to see actions/dialogue for what they are and not what I want them to be? written in the margins and you try not to feel heartbroken for him.

Three hours have passed by when you walk him to the door, the two of you wrapped up in a bubble so secure you’re surprised to find Chaewon and Yunjin still sitting on the couch. They don’t say anything about Sunghoon in his absence, or the fact he’d given you his sweater when he noticed you were cold. You’re not sure why their silence disappoints you.

Instead, Yunjin asks you about trivial things like dinner while Chaewon sits in silence. 

“What flavour for ice cream?” Yunjin asks, rolling her eyes when you tug on the blanket but not complaining. “And don’t say something ridiculous like mint chocolate, YN.” 

“That happened once! And it was three years ago.. How was I supposed to know you hate fun?” 

Chaewon leans into you, letting you curl your limbs around her from behind as you rest your chin on her shoulder, liking the way her clean scent tickles your nose. 

“Mint-cho isn’t that bad,” she starts. “It’s a little jarring, sure, but it’s kind of sweet. Like watching people come to terms with their feelings for each other.” 

You nod your head, humming in understanding and furrowing your brows when Yunjin scoffs, staring straight at you. Her tone is equal parts cutting and loving, so you know she’s not trying to insult you, but don’t know what she means when she says, “It must be so nice to be as oblivious as you.” 

Yunjin never elaborates, and you never ask, actually feeling the statement’s journey in through one of your ears and out the other when dinner arrives. The three of you share pizza, ice cream, and secrets — the three pillars of 20-something-teenage-girlhood — at the kitchen table, with Chaewon sitting in your lap and picking pepperoni from your slices. 

It’s only hours after Yunijn’s gone home, that her words circle back to you, the statement and all of its weight perching on your chest with all the debilitation and persistence of a sleep paralysis demon.

“I think I’m getting sick,” you say as soon as she opens her door. “It’s been coming on for a while now, at least a week, maybe more.” 

Unimpressed and exhausted, Yunjin looks down at you through half-closed eyes. “Do you..” She pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. “Do you have any idea what time it is right now?” 

“Yes. It’s three a.m.” 

“Exactly. See a doctor if you’re sick, I’m going back to sleep.”

“This is an emergen—” Yunjin cuts you off by pinching your lips together. “It’s three in the morning,” she reminds you. “You can’t yell like that in my hallway, come in.” 

You nod, crossing the threshold and taking off your shoes next to hers. “Sorry,” you whisper when the door is closed. 

Using her hand, Yunjin lifts your chin, squinting as her eyes adjust to the light when she flips the switch to inspect your face. “You don’t look or sound sick,” she mutters, flicking the light back off and going to her room. “What are your symptoms? And why did you come here?” 

You don’t have an answer for her last question so you ignore it, following her and tripping over a pair of her shoes in the process. “My cheeks start burning like crazy and my heart races, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.”

“You seem fine to me.” 

A shoulder-slumping sigh slips from your lips. “That’s the thing. I’ll be fine and then Sunghoon shows up with his pretty smile and perfect hair and I feel like I’ve run a marathon.” You know how it sounds, choosing your wording meticulously to let Yunjin be the one to say the words out loud instead of you—it’ll be easier to confront that way. 

From the doorway, you watch as she arches a brow, her interest piqued. “Oh?” 

“I know.” You nod, head bobbing rapidly in furious agreement. “It’s only a matter of time before I cough up a lung and die in his bedroom.”

At your words, Yunjin doesn't reply, only lifting her duvet and getting cosy underneath. You feel like you’re glued to the spot, waiting for her to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All she does is pat the empty spot in her bed. 

“What are you smirking for?” you ask, entering the room properly and closing the door. 

Her response only comes after you’ve taken your jacket and hoodie off, sitting next to her under the covers. “It’s nothing,” she says, laughing. 

“Tell me.” 

Yunjin sighs, resting a hand gently on your shoulder. You think it’s meant to be comforting but it’s the opposite. “You’ll be fine, I promise. Lovesickness isn’t deadly.” 

Feeling the weight of her reassurance, you settle down properly and sigh when your head hits the pillow. Lovesickness. Hmm. 

Closing your eyes, you try to sleep but can’t help tossing and turning as Yunjin snores behind you. You pat blindly around the end table for your phone, grabbing it and wincing at the brightness of your screen. Chewing on your lip, you open Google, looking up ‘lovesickness’ and frowning immediately at the results. Endless negativity fills the screen, terrifying words like ‘unrequited love’ forming a pit in your stomach. There’s nothing negative about what you feel for Sunghoon, nothing unrequited—you think. 

It was obvious during the trip, painfully so. In the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear when his parents weren’t there to see, or how he slipped up and called you ‘baby’ in the bathroom, blushing when you said it back. You can’t fake something like that.. Can you?

Yeonjun did.

Shaking your head, you open Instagram to distract yourself. Jake’s story comes up first; he’s at a party where Jay is losing a game of beer pong, and at the other end of the table is Sunghoon grinning with a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek. You lock your phone, using your hands to press on your belly to stop the stirring. 

Oh, you think. Lovesickness. 

When you wake up, the first thing you do is check Jake’s story again. The video is still there and that terrible stir in your stomach churns on, burrowing deeply into a pit of canyon-like proportion—so vast there’s a safety railing lining its edges. 

You eat breakfast in silence with Yunjin, zoning out mid-chew to figure out the origin of these feelings and how to handle them. Suddenly, the moment hits you clear as day, vivid like you’re watching it on a screen—it was your third night at his parents’ house, after your walk. 

You felt bad about how you acted, and what you said, so went straight up to your room. With nothing but the bedside lamp turned on, it was dimly lit, shadows cast on the walls as you sulked, replaying everything in your head. Guilt wrapped its long arms around your body, making you feel sick as you thought about it all. About the hurt etched over his face with every word you said, and the frown that stuck around for the rest of the walk as his hand clung limply to yours. 

There was a knock at the door, so gentle you almost missed it, and Sunghoon was standing there when you pulled it open, chewing on his lip with a mug in his hand. Steam skated over the opening, a rich chocolatey smell hitting your nose but the real kicker was the mug itself. In its place on Jake and Sunghoon’s mug tree, it was unassuming, a regular white mug, but upon meeting hot water, the face of young Sunghoon appeared, grinning with his tiny glasses on. It was a gift from one of his old coaches and though he never used it, it was your absolute favourite cup in the world. 

You felt soft around the edges when you looked up at him, his eyes wide and unsure as you met his gaze—he brought that mug three hours across the country so you could use it again. The thought shifted your heart into a comfortable position, settling in your chest with overwhelming warmth and an increased rate. 

“Hi,” you said, clearing your throat. 

“Hi,” he repeated, holding the mug out for you to take. “It’s still hot so be careful.” 

Nodding, you covered your hands with your sleeves, taking the cup from him and asking if he wanted to come in. Sunghoon nodded, shutting the door behind him and standing by the bed, watching you set the hot chocolate on the bedside table as you sat down. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with him only moving when you patted the spot next to you on the duvet. Your train of thought escaped you as soon as he sat down, the warmth of his familiar fresh, citrusy scent taking over and becoming the only thing you could register. The smell of summers with him, long days at the beach and short nights spent on the couch at random parties, cuddled into his side with his arm over your shoulders. The smell you’d come to associate with comfort and home—with Sunghoon. 

“It’s not fair for me to treat you like shit just because I’m annoyed, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that earlier. I’m sorry.” 

A crease ran over Sunghoon’s thick brows as they tugged together, he shook his head. “You don’t have to apologise. I roped you into this whole thing and didn’t even try to think about how you would feel. I’m sorry.” His eyes carried a mix of regret and sincerity, mirroring the weight of his words.

“Anyway, I only came to bring you that,” he said, pointing at the cup. “And to check up on you, I’ll get out of your hair for tonight.” Sunghoon wiped his palms on his pants before standing up, reaching behind him to pick up the cloth he brought. For a moment, he stood there, staring down at it in his hand while you thought about telling him to stay, telling him that you wanted him in your hair—whatever that meant. But he spoke before you had the chance. “You left this, at mine, after.. well, you know. I’m sure you left it intentionally, I mean it was folded up perfectly on the end of my bed, so I know you did, but it didn’t feel right keeping it, you always wore it more than me.” 

Sunghoon extended his hand, holding it out to you and you knew exactly what it was as soon as the fabric touched your skin after so long. It was the shirt Jay bought him for Christmas in first year—they were roommates still trying to get a feel for each other. For a few weeks, Sunghoon had been pestering you about what he should get for Jay, saying it didn’t feel right not to get him anything, and you suggested a targeted t-shirt, one you’d been laughing at all day after seeing an ad for it on your timeline. Sunghoon was sceptical, but bought the red shirt anyway, hoping Jay would find BEING DAD IS AN HONOUR, BEING PAPA IS PRICELESS funny. He did. And Jay bought Sunghoon a targeted shirt too, your favourite. It was black and two sizes too big, with I NEVER DREAMED I’D BE A SEXY FIGURE SKATER BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT written over the chest. 

“Goodnight, YN,” Sunghoon said, crossing the room to leave but hesitating before closing the door. He poked his head through the opening and sighed. “I really am sorry.”

That night, you fell asleep in the shirt, the thinning, yet cosy, fabric wrapped around you like a hug as your heart started to beat a new rhythm, one that eerily echoed the five-foot-eleven figure skater who you let break it. 

This morning, Yunjin claps her hands in your face, seeming irritated when you look over at her. “You have class in an hour, what are you doing?” Before you have the chance to speak, realisation covers her face. “Oh, the feelings.” 

You nod solemnly, too caught up in the butterflies raiding your stomach to come up with something to say. 

At lightspeed, you scarf down the rest of your food, apologising for showing up so late as you head out the door. When you get home, you take the fastest shower of your life and feel grateful Chaewon isn’t around to tease you about the smile you can’t wipe from your face thinking about Sunghoon—you’ll text her later.

You run to campus, feeling the brisk autumn wind beating against your face while the rest of your body overheats under your jacket, hoodie and long sleeve. Despite the discomfort and ache in your lungs, you don’t stop until you reach the door of your lecture hall, huffing and puffing into the faces of classmates who don’t take any notice. Of course, in a stroke of pure luck, your lecturer is late, and you realise bitterly, that all of your huffing and puffing was in vain—you would have gotten to class with time to spare even if you walked.

It’s not a total waste though; you use the time to update Chaewon. 

you: i have news wonie..  i like sunghoon

wonie: …………….. fork in the kitchen yn what’s the news? 

wonie: OHHHH news to YOU.. can i call? 

She calls you immediately. You answer without thinking because your lecturer still hasn’t arrived, and there’s no one sitting close enough to hear or notice you taking a call. 

“Are you going to tell him?!” Chaewon’s voice is so loud you wince, pulling the phone away from your ear. 

“I don’t know.” You shrug even though she can’t see you, still holding the device at a distance just in case. “I don’t have any confirmation that he still.. likes me. It’s been a while, and I was pretty mean that day. 

Chaewon groans and you can picture her throwing herself onto her bed, exasperated. The rustling that comes through the receiver only frames the image, hanging it up. “Did you have to tell him to get a grip?” 

“You know..” You trail off, chewing on your bottom lip. “In hindsight, probably not.” 

A beat passes, she’s thinking. “Don’t worry,” she says. “I’ll help you.” 

“I.. have never been so worried in my life.” You sigh, picking at your freshly painted nails. “But I know you’ll do something no matter what I say, so do what you want, Wonie, but please be subtle about it.” 

Chaewon squeals down the phone. “I love youuuuu!” And it’s the last thing she says before kissing the mic a few times and hanging up. 

Slumping in your seat, you don’t have any time to stress about Chaewon’s plans because your lecturer walks in, with a travel cup in her hand and a paperback tucked under her arm. 

She apologises for being late, running a hand through her hair as she announces that you’ll be watching a film, an adaptation of a book you read at the start of term—Ian McEwan’s Atonement. You spend the first hour of the movie falling in and out of sleep until a text comes through from Sunghoon, and sheer excitement keeps you up.

hoonie: Wanna study together after class? 

you: of course!!!!!! 

hoonie: 🤍

The rest of the movie goes by in a drag, and you come away from it with a mild irritation towards Saoirse Ronan.

you: class just finished, heading to lib rn 

hoonie: Shit, still in the locker room, sorry !!! Omw, can you get a table? 

you: i’ll try..

It takes a while but you find an empty booth on the second floor, and set your bag on the plush green seat to take pictures of your surroundings to send to Sunghoon. You sit on the side facing the stairs so he can see you when he arrives. The thought of seeing him makes your heart race and you try out a few natural-seeming poses for when he’s here, cycling between resting your palm under your chin and sitting with your arms crossed a few times until the top of his head comes into view. 

Seeing him knocks the wind out of you as he approaches the staircase, taking them two at a time with his damp hair clinging to his forehead and neck. It doesn’t help that he’s wearing a tight black vest, and his sweats are hanging low on his hips. A breath you didn’t realise you were holding slips out when he lifts his head, spotting you immediately as a grin spreads over his lips and he raises his arm to wave, the veins in his forearm peeking out to say hi too. You can’t tell if it’s his lack of winter wardrobe or your newfound appreciation for him that’s making his biceps look so huge but it’s hard to look away, even when he reaches the table. 

“Are you hot?” you blurt out. 

Sunghoon laughs, raising a brow and something about the way he’s looking down at you makes your cheeks burn. “Depends who’s asking.” He takes his backpack off, leaving it on the table as he sits down, dumping his jacket and hoodie in a pile beside him.

“I’m asking,” you mumble. 

“Then, yeah, I’d hope so.” 

Is he flirting? It sounds like he’s flirting. Flirt back! “Nice arms.” 

He looks down at his biceps for a beat before looking at you warily. “Are you flirting with me?” He can’t fight the smile twitching at the corners of his lips but he tries his best, pressing them into a straight line.

“A little. They are nice though,” you admit.

Sunghoon grins. “Thanks, I’ve had them for a while now.”

You can’t come up with anything to say, too distracted by the way his smile reaches his eyes, lighting up his whole face and forcing a flustered heat to spread over your cheeks and neck. It’s only when you look away from him that you remember what you’re here for. It’s a study date, not a study date—there’s a difference. 

You hand Sunghoon the material you’d printed for him over the weekend, excerpts from texts you’d studied in class, so he can practise close reading and proper citation. As he makes his way through them, you can’t help stealing glances, smiling at the way his tongue sticks out a little while he focuses, or how he twirls his pen in his fingers while he’s thinking. You aren’t making the best use of your time together, copying out the slides from class yesterday, but you can’t help noticing the way he watches you when he thinks you can’t see. The small smile on his face while he does so only flusters you, an odd weakness settling in your knees as your cheeks heat up. 

After a while, Sunghoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Could you stop watching me?”

“If you noticed me watching, that means you’re watching me.” 

He shrugs, chewing on his lip. “Well, yeah. I’m always watching you,” he says like it’s a given. “But you don’t normally watch back, it’s distracting.” 

“You’re distracting.”

A playful smile curves his lips as he arches a brow, smugness painting his face. “Am I?” 

Too scared to verbalise your response, you nod slowly, hoping you don’t look as wound up as you feel. 

Sunghoon’s eyes flick over your face, flashing with something you don’t recognise. At least not from him. He sits back in his seat, assessing you and eventually shaking his head. 

“You know,” he says, eyes glowing with something you do recognise: cockiness. “If my sexy arms are getting to you that much, I can always put my hoodie back on. Wouldn’t want my little tutor getting distracted, would I?” 

Oh. 

Your stomach turns with want, mind reeling from his tone and the way his gaze lands on your lips. Sighing, you roll your eyes and try to seem unaffected. “Sunghoon, I never said your arms were sexy.” 

His phone starts to go off, buzzing against the table and he turns it over immediately, screen down on the surface as he shifts his focus back to his work. He chews on his lip while he does, eyes flicking back and forth between his phone and the words on the page. Curious, you lean over the table, elbows propped up as you rest your chin in your hands. He doesn’t spare you or his phone, which vibrates another four times, a glance.

“Are you going to get that?” 

Sunghoon shakes his head. “It’s nothing.” 

You hum, letting just enough curiosity seep into the sound that he’ll elaborate without being asked to. It doesn’t take long for him to deliver.

“It’s just Chaewon,” he says, running his hand through his hair and lifting his head. Sunghoon smiles. “We’ve been texting a lot these days.” 

“Cool.” You nod a few times, aiming for nonchalance but hitting bobblehead as you wait for him to continue. He doesn’t, only humming in response, nodding too. 

After a beat, he picks up his phone, angling it just high enough that you can’t see the screen. He reads the messages, an exhaled laugh coming from his nose as the tips of his ears redden—Fuck. This is worse than you thought. 

Chaewon’s commitment to girl code runs deep—she’s been rebuffing Jake since first year when she overheard a girl she’d never seen before telling her friends she thought he was cute. So you know without having to read the texts that nothing she’s saying is even remotely flirty, you can smell the auto-caps and use of the word ‘buddy’ from across the table. 

What you hadn’t counted on, however, was the potential for Sunghoon’s feelings to shift. If they really have been texting more, can you rule out the possibility that he might like.. her? Chaewon is a catch, beyond a catch, and you’d already turned Sunghoon down. Brutally. Of course, he’d move on, he has moved on. 

The rest of the study session is spent manifesting, writing Park Sunghoon over and over in the back of your notebook. You fill three pages while brainstorming ways to snatch a lock of his hair until he suggests that the two of you call it a day. He walks you home, telling you about how Jake’s been bribing him with food to get a ride to the LEGO store across town for the new Marvel set. 

“With or without the meals, I would’ve taken him, but his ramen is my favourite, so..” Sunghoon says, climbing the last step of your building and holding the door open for you. “He even brought a slice of tiramisu to the rink for me after practice.” 

“You’re terrible,” you say, frowning up at him as you search for your keys. “Do you want to come in?” 

Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. “I have a meeting with one of my lecturers soon, I’d have to leave in—” He pauses, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to check the time. “—eight minutes.” 

“I’m cool with that if you are,” you mumble, suddenly shy. 

A bright smile spreads over his lips and he nods, following you in. 

Chilled by the harsh wind, the only thing on your mind is a hot drink as you lead Sunghoon to the kitchen. He shakes his head when you offer him one, sitting on the countertop and exhaling into his palms before rubbing them together. You can’t help but frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you can’t change the weather to suit him. At your thought process, your brows raise. Wow, you think. Is this who you are? 

You busy yourself with the selection of hot drinks you and Chaewon have accumulated, eyeing each container from top to bottom. A purple tub of Cadbury’s hot chocolate that you’re sure is on the brink of expiration, coffee—sachets of the instant stuff you’ve grown to like since leaving home, Earl grey from one of many brands, or the fancy silk tea bags Chaewon’s mum brought home from a trip—rooibos or plum-apple-cinnamon. 

Craving something sweet, you settle for hot chocolate, pulling the heavy container from the cupboard next to Sunghoon’s head and setting it beside your cup. He’s on his phone, scrolling too fast to take in anything he’s seeing and he shakes his head when you ask if he wants something to drink. 

On the dish rack, Chaewon’s mug catches your eye, so you pick it up to dry it off and put it down next to yours. “I’m going to check if Wonie wants any,” you say, wiping imaginary crumbs from the counter onto the floor. 

Sunghoon only clears his throat, shaking his head. “She’s not home, one of her acrylics popped off so she’s at the shop waiting for a cancellation.” 

The information itself isn’t jarring but hearing it from Sunghoon is. You put on what you hope is a neutral smile and nod, taking milk from the fridge and assembling your drink on autopilot while thinking of ways to redirect the conversation. 

“If you knew you’d have to go back to campus so soon, why’d you walk me home?” you ask, watching your cup spin in the microwave. “I could’ve walked on my own.” 

Sunghoon is already looking at you when you turn your head, his cheeks puffed out with air as he blinks slowly. Because I love you, is what you hope he’ll say. You think you need him to say it. 

“Because you don’t have to do anything on your own when you have me,” he says instead, and it’s infinitely better. 

The words seep through your every fibre, his intonation and lucid affection making a home for themselves in your heart, spreading warmth from head to toe. Your smile becomes a radiant grin, only brightening when he shakes his head, smiling down at his feet. 

Sunghoon hugs you in the kitchen when it’s time for him to leave, his arms holding you tight to his chest as he rocks you back and forth. You inhale his scent, all warm citrus under freshly washed cotton and something exclusive to him.

Wiping the smile from your face feels impossible. You don’t let go when he does, and a sweet laugh — a giggle, you think — tumbles out of him as he mumbles that he really has to go. Still, you cling onto him, taking clumsy steps backwards, with your arms locked around his waist, to your front door, smiling as you watch him put his shoes on. 

“You don’t have to walk me downstairs, honestly,” he says, looking down at you in the doorway.

“I want to.” 

His lips quirk up at the corners, a full smile breaking through and causing your stomach to flutter with so much force you’re sure it’s visible through your shirt. His eyes fall to your lips, lingering, before he clears his throat, looking away. 

“I’ll text you when I get to the door, promise.” 

You lock your pinky with his. “Send a selfie, just so I know it’s you and not someone else using your phone.” 

Sunghoon’s head falls back in a laugh. “Should I just call you? That way you can make sure I get back to uni in one piece.” 

You nod.

“That wasn’t anything with Chaewon earlier, I just needed advice on some girl stuff..” He trails off, searching your eyes. It’s obvious that he’s telling the truth, that he wants you to believe him. You do. “I wasn’t sure if that was something I could talk about with you.” 

Girl stuff. Hmm. You try not to read too much into it and look at the bigger picture instead—your best friend is going through something and doesn’t feel like he can come to you about it.. You squeeze his pinky reassuringly, a flutter in your stomach when he smiles. 

“You can talk to me about anything,” you say, meaning it. 

Sunghoon presses his lips together, humming and unlinking your fingers. “Next time,” he says after a beat, waving at you. 

You shut the door, locking it while watching through the peephole, he leaves as soon as the lock clicks shut. In the kitchen, your hot chocolate is cooling down, and your phone rings in your back pocket. Sunghoon’s calling. 

Hanging out with Sunghoon. Making sure he sticks to the time-blocked schedule you made for him. Quizzing him on biology terms until he gets restless. If the last two weeks were an episode of Family Feud, those would be the top three answers to the question: Name something YN is doing right now.

Thankfully tonight, it’s the first one. 

You’ve been sitting on the couch for so long, Jake has both left for football practice and arrived from football practice. Conversation ebbs and flows—an hour or so of nonstop talking, followed by another hour or so of comfortable near silence. 

It’s during a quiet hour that Sunghoon sits up straight, clearing his throat before saying, “Let me ask you something. He retreats to the other side of the couch, turning to face you with his whole body. “I don’t want things to be weird after I ask, so no matter what your answer is, I won’t bring it up or ask again.”

Arching a curious brow, you nod. “You can ask me anything,” you say, meaning it.

Sunghoon’s face is impressively blank—minus the motion of sharp teeth worrying plush lip, there’s absolutely nothing behind his eyes that seem to stare right through you. 

Eventually, he asks, “Can I kiss you?” He says more. Big, scary words like for closure and moving on, but they don’t register. They don’t matter. 

Your heart pounds at the base of your throat as you find interest in your hands that sit in your lap. Even without looking at him, you can’t get over the slight crease he had in his brow and the slight tremor in his hands. 

“For closure,” you repeat, though your voice doesn’t sound like it’s coming from you, muffled under the thump of your heart. 

Sunghoon nods. “For closure.” 

A humourless laugh sneaks past your throat as you look at him. You shouldn’t have. In the lamplight, Sunghoon is golden and glorious. Warm light casts one side of his face, diffusing gently over the steep slope of his nose, highlighting his moles and the look in his eyes, gentle and curious all at once. Unwillingly, your gaze falls to his lips, parted, tempting. 

One firm nod of your head brings Sunghoon’s hand to your face, his palm cupping your cheek with soft skin as his thumb traces your cheekbone. You grow anxious under his stare, under the drag of his eyes over your features, taking them one at a time like he’s committing them to memory.

Leaning in, your eyes flutter shut as your lips meet his and he freezes, mouth completely still on yours. Delicately, your tongue traces the seam of his lips, soft and plump, until they part for you, moving with yours. Sunghoon’s kiss is unpolished when it reaches you. It’s hesitant but tender, clumsy but sweet, he’s trying and he’s perfect; your favourite. 

The kiss is.. it’s everything. It’s the racing of your heart, the thudding, the vibrant buzz you can hear, feel humming against your ears. It’s a rush of blood to the head, a lightness all over that pulls you out of your body. It’s Sunghoon’s soft lips curving into a smile against yours, his gentle hold on your face never letting up as he holds you as close as he can manage, and it’s every bit as lovely as the rest of him.

Palpable is the heartbeat of your friendship, beating to a lull under the surface of the kiss, fizzling out into nothing, a steady silence, flatlining to give way to something more, something bigger. 

Every brush of your lips against his is a revelation, a confession. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, you tell him with your kiss. You’re everything I need. His free hand finds yours, locking your fingers and squeezing, the action timed well enough to make you think he hears you, to make you think he’s saying, we’ll be okay, I still love you. 

With that, he pulls away, a delicate tension piercing the air. Blown eyes and laboured breathing—he’s beautiful, fuzzy around the edges with warm orange and all of the love in your heart. Breathless, you chew on your lip, cognisant of Sunghoon’s hand in yours and the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you. 

Belatedly, you squeeze his hand back, smiling. “Was it everything you ever dreamed of?” you whisper, part teasing, all curious.

Abruptly, Sunghoon stands up, letting go of you in the process. “I have to go.” 

You want to stop him, you think you’re supposed to. To grab him by the arm and kiss him again, to yell in his face that you love him until he understands. But you don’t. Instead, you stay seated, staring at Sunghoon’s back and following him with your eyes out of the room and down the hall until he’s out of sight. 

It’s your first time being so upset after a kiss, and you can’t tell if it’s his leaving or the mention of him moving on that’s tripping you up so much. That’s causing melancholy to crawl from the shadows, sinking its jagged nails into your skin to pull you under. 

You love him. He’s gone. 

Eyes stuck on the doorway, time stretches over the room around you, thick and malleable, wet and cloying—clay stuck under your nails for days as the fire in the kiln rages on. 

Sighing, you get up and wait at his door. You ball your hand into a limp fist, knocking weakly. Sunghoon doesn’t reply. You try again, harder. Still nothing. 

Barging into the room, you find him sitting on the end of his bed with his face in his hands. 

“Don’t move on.” The words come out before you realise and Sunghoon lifts his head, squinting at you. 

“Huh?” He tilts his head, watching closely as you approach him, tipping it back enough to meet your eyes when you stand over him. 

You take a breath, holding it until your head starts to spin. “I don’t want you to love someone else, Sunghoon. Please don’t move on.” 

The stillness that follows is disconcerting, a long quiet you can feel on your skin, amplifying the blank stare on his face as he looks up at you. His eyes flash, a spark of hope behind them so bright it stings to look at.

“Do you..” He trails off, his lips moving to form the next word though stopping short.

“I do,” you whisper, nodding. “I’m sorry for taking so long.”

An exhaled laugh comes from his nose as he grins, shaking his head. “You like me?” he asks, excitement and disbelief fighting for authority over his voice, his hands holding your waist and pulling you down into his lap.

“I love you,” you admit, settling on his thighs. 

“You do?” His eyes are wide and gleaming, searching every feature on your face before settling on your own.

You nod. “So much.” 

Sunghoon’s chin tips up, his lips pressing against yours, excited pecks that can’t turn into much more for the smiles on your faces. You rest your arms on his shoulders, hands clasping behind his head, nervous fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“So.. will you be my boyfriend? For real?” 

Tilting his head, he tries and fails to fight a smile. “I will. I’m a little bummed though.” 

“Why?” You raise a brow, and the word tips up at the end with it. 

“I wanted to be the one to ask you.” Sunghoon’s honesty warms the room, endearing you completely. 

You grin, loving the heat spreading over your cheeks. “Ask me anyway.” 

“Please can I be your boyfriend?” 

In the weeks that followed, it became immediately clear that boyfriend Sunghoon operated on a pendulum swinging between sexual ferality and terror. He’d get distracted during study sessions at home, finding more interest in biting at your neck than stream-of-consciousness prose, but closed his eyes if a sex scene came on TV. He’d buck his hips against yours while making out but flinch at the sight of condoms in the store.

He wasn’t ready to have sex and didn’t know how to tell you, so you took matters into your own hands, asking if you could wait until after his results for resubmission came in, saying you didn’t want the distraction for either of you. Sunghoon agreed, pecking your cheek and holding you tight to his chest. 

The only thing was that your lecturer hadn’t given him an exact date, so every morning, you held your phone in a vice grip waiting for Sunghoon to update you, and every morning, you got the same text: Nothing today, baby ☹️ 

This morning, you’re brushing your teeth when he texts you, in all caps: NO FUCKING WAY I GOT A 98 !!! LOOK !!!

When the picture comes through, it’s of him in the mirror and you choke on mouthwash at the sight. He’s smiling, bright and beautiful, in a black vest that he’s holding up a little to show his stomach, though his palm is in the way of his toned abs, and it cuts off right at the top of his grey sweatpants. 

Your mouth goes dry as you click on it, fixating on every little detail you can find: the thickness of his fingers against his phone, the dip in his collarbones, the breadth of his shoulders and the cinch of his waist. In a fit of desperation, you try swiping at the bottom of your screen, willing the picture to magically extend. It doesn’t. 

hoonie: Finger slipped.. You like?

you: mm.. 

you: 98??? HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT YOU!!!

hoonie: All you.. do you like the picture?

you: i love it………….

hoonie: My girl 🤍

Another picture comes in, and sure enough, through the glare of his laptop screen, you see: Course name: The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway. Marks Awarded: 98.0.

you: well done baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hoonie: Thx 😁

hoonie: Can I have my prize now ha ha .. haha 😈

you: just for that emoji, no you absolutely cannot.

Your resolve isn’t strong enough when it comes to Sunghoon, because purple devil emoji and all, you show up at his door with condoms in your bag and a bouquet of lilies behind your back. 

The door creaks open and Sunghoon greets you with a grin. “Hey, gorgeous. You proud of me?” 

You beam at him, holding out the flowers. “I’m very proud, Hoon, well done.” 

“I don’t want to ruin the moment,” he starts, taking the bouquet from your hands and sniffing the flowers with an approving smile. “But hearing you say you’re proud of me is awakening something I didn’t know existed.”

“A good something?” 

“Mm,” he hums, arms finding your waist before he pecks your lips. “A very good something.” 

Sunghoon’s words hit your lips and your core, a desperate heat flooding your stomach as he kisses you deeply, his body pressed tightly against yours while he pulls you into his apartment. He kicks the door shut with his foot, slipping his hand under your jacket to settle in your back pocket, not quite squeezing but holding your ass as gently as he can manage. 

He breaks away from you, love in his eyes as he stares down into yours, catching his breath. “I don’t think we own a vase.” 

In his kitchen, you rifle through cupboards to find something to hold the flowers, eventually finding a whiskey decanter in the cupboard under the sink, and holding it up for Sunghoon to see.

“Oh, yeah,” he says. “It’s Jay’s. It’ll work right?” 

You nod, taking it to the sink to rinse it. Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder watching you fill the decanter with water and flower food before grabbing the bouquet. He presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and you struggle to stay focused as you cut down the stems on the flowers, arranging them neatly. 

“Can I take a photo?” he asks when you’re done. 

He’s smiling when you turn around to look at him, a soft curve of his lips that makes your heart race, a deep tenderness in his eyes when you meet them. You smile too. 

“They’re yours, baby, do whatever you want.” 

“A photo of you with the flowers,” he clarifies. 

Warmth settles in your chest, a grin spreading over your lips from ear to ear. You nod, taking the decanter in your hands when he lets go of you, holding the flowers up beside your face and smiling for his camera. As his phone shutter clicks away, you steal glances at his face behind it. He’s watching the screen with a smile, telling you how beautiful you are.

“I want pictures of you too,” you say, handing the flowers over. 

“I’m yours, baby, do whatever you want.” 

Sunghoon poses for your photos, smiling sweetly in some and sniffing the bouquet appreciatively with closed eyes for others. He’s glowing and he’s beautiful and your heart triples in size while taking picture after picture until your phone tells you it has ten percent. 

“Thank you, YN,” he says. “I’ve never gotten flowers before, I love them.” His arms settle around your waist, lips pressing against yours before you have the chance to respond. 

You try anyway, mumbling against his lips that you love him. In response, Sunghoon grins, but the feeling of his cock growing hard against you is distracting, a lust-coated thorn in the side of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. With locked lips and uncertain steps, the two of you bump into corners and trip over your own feet, stumbling to his room and parting only to tear his hoodie over his head.

Breathless, you pull away, eyes trailing over him and picking up on everything, from the tremble in his hands to the lust-addled worry in his eyes. He’s nervous, you think—though it escapes you, the last word coming out like a question.

Sunghoon scoffs, his hands resting on your waist under your shirt, skin clammy against yours. “Of course, I’m nervous.” 

“You don’t have to be.”

“I just want to be good for you.” 

“Don’t worry about that, let me take care of you, Hoon.” Your palms drag up his torso — firm abs through soft cotton, defined chest over racing heart — to rest on his shoulders. “Sit,” you say when he nods. 

He gulps, taking a seat on the end of his bed under your gentle push, eyes widening when you sink to your knees between his legs and reach for his drawstring, pulling the ends to untie the knot. 

“Wait,” Sunghoon says, breathless, scrunching up his face and dropping his head. “Let me calm down, baby. At this rate, I’ll come just seeing your hand on it.” 

You giggle, resting your head on his thigh and wrapping the drawstring around your finger.

“I’m serious, YN,” he mumbles, laughing as he takes his vest off. “I need a minute.” 

Sunghoon’s eyes are pressed shut as he tries to collect himself, lips pouty and kiss-bitten, slightly parted with ragged breaths slipping out. You wait patiently for him. He’s so pretty like this, with the crease in his brow and the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks as his chest rises and falls. You can’t help but smile, leaning into his touch when his hand rests on top of your head, his blunt nails grazing your scalp. After a while, he seems more at ease, his eyes finding yours and he smiles shyly, telling you he’s ready now and lifting his hips from the bed to let you pull his sweats and underwear down. 

Free from the constraints of fabric, his cock slaps his stomach with a wet sound as the tip meets his skin, leaving a pearlescent streak over his abs. The sight makes your mouth water and you can’t look away. “Pretty,” you whisper.

Wrapping a hand under his tip, you swipe it with your thumb, taking time to memorise the flutter of his eyelids, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple, and the soft sigh he lets out. You stroke him slowly, liking the way his breath picks up as his brows knit together before you take him in your mouth. It’s a tight fit but you do your best, spurred on by the way he tugs at your hair and stutters through a holy fuck as you take as much of him as you can. 

Sunghoon goes silent, only squirming when you use your hand to stroke him near his base. Self-conscious about his lack of vocal affirmation, you look up at him through your lashes, and the pure bliss on his face is unbearably attractive. His eyes are rolled back under furrowed brows, his mouth hanging open as he throws his head back.

“Am I doing okay?” you ask, using the moment to catch your breath.

He nods, inhaling shakily and screwing his eyes shut while his hips buck up into your fist. “I’m.. You’re doing such a good job, baby, so good.”

Satisfaction courses through you from the praise, a high that dulls the ache in your jaw. Still watching him, you massage his balls in your palm, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his tip when he whines. You tongue at his slit until he thrusts back into your mouth, tip hitting your throat, and he gasps when you gag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. A belated apology slips from his lips, mumbled as he strokes your hair with a shaking hand and goes quiet again. When you speed up, his breath stutters, the muscles in his thighs contracting around your head as you suck and lick and drool on his cock. 

A moan of your name, and his hand holding your hand down, are the only warnings you get before Sunghoon comes, spilling his load right down your throat. Whining, his hips buck up against your face, pushing further and further until he falls back onto the mattress.

Your throat is hoarse and aches while you use the back of your hand to wipe at your lips, enjoying what’s left of his taste on your tongue. Deep red tints his neck and chest, a pretty flush gleaming under the sheen of sweat on his skin. He’s mesmerising, as he tries for air through swollen lips and looks up at you through squinted eyes. He reaches for you, cute grabby hands tugging your shirt and pulling you down so you’re lying next to him with your head on his chest. 

“You’re amazing, baby, so good for me,” Sunghoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as you drag your nails over his torso, feeling the subtle heave of the slick, sculpted muscle over his stomach and chest. 

Pride heats your chest, satisfaction rolling over you like a wave. “Really?”

He hums in affirmation, nodding his head. 

“You were so quiet, I couldn’t really tell,” you add, hungry for more praise. 

“The walls are so thin in here, I just got used to being quiet,” Sunghoon says, frowning. Hand meeting your chin, he tips your head up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and mumbling, “I’m sorry. You were perfect, I swear.” 

It’s a sweet kiss. Until lips move harder and hands get lower, desperate as he thumbs the top of your leggings, palm unmoving but a dangerous heat blooms in your stomach anyway.

“Can I..” Sunghoon pinches you softly through the material, unsure eyes boring deep into yours. 

You nod. “You can.” 

Slipping under your waistband, his fingers skate across your skin dipping between your thighs. He grazes your slit, satisfaction clear in the groan he lets out as he feels the wetness there, pulling it over the length of your slit to cover your clit. Your breath hitches, a strangled gasp, pleasure and surprise meeting in your throat under the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the gentle sting of his finger pushing into you. 

What Sunghoon lacks in experience, he makes up for with the sheer length and thickness of his fingers. It’s almost jarring, it’s enough to force your eyes closed and bring a sigh rumbling out of you, ache and relief settling between your legs, where he curls a finger against your walls and drags slow circles over your clit. 

“Can you take these off, baby?” he asks, hand away to touch your leggings. 

You don’t waste a second, sitting up to pull them off, throwing them and your underwear across the room. Sunghoon licks his lips, tugging at the hem of your shirt. 

“And this? If you want..” 

You nod, pulling it off immediately to let it join the rest of your clothes in a heap on the floor. The way he gulps is a confidence boost, his dilated pupils taking in every inch of your body, though his gaze always pulls back to your bra—white and lacy, thin enough for your nipples to push through the fabric and Sunghoon can’t seem to get enough, though he waits until you’re lying down again to touch you. 

Sunghoon props himself up on his elbow, leaning over you. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers, dragging a finger over the lace at the top of your bra, toying with the material and the little bow sitting between your breasts. His eyes flick up to meet yours. “So beautiful,” he repeats. 

Hiding your face in his chest, you mumble, “Thank you,” into his skin while trying to ignore the heat spreading over your body wherever he touches you. His hand trails from your arm to your waist, resting on your hips to slip over your ass for a beat, where he grabs and squeezes the flesh there before coming back around to slot between your legs—you lift one of them, resting it over his body, and he’s smiling sweetly when you look up at him.

Sunghoon’s movements are unchanging, though the sensation is heightened by the unbridled desire in his lidded eyes that urges white heat to lick over every inch of your skin—this time he pushes two fingers into you.

It doesn’t get better than this, you think. But it does, quickly. 

Leaning over you, his eyes flick across your face, one feature at a time as he chews on his lip. Reaching up, you push some of his hair from his face, holding it back and saying, “Relax, baby.” 

“Don’t want to hurt you.”

Moving your hand, you blink when his hair flops back over his forehead, tickling your eyelashes. His eyes are focused now, staring straight down into yours, want and worry flashing behind them. 

“You won’t, I promise,” you say, locking your pinky with his, feeling relieved when he smiles.

Sunghoon pushes in slowly, his name slipping from your lips when he exhales shakily, head falling forward. The sting, the pleasure, make it hard to breathe, molten desire taking hold of your lungs as he carves out a place for himself as far as you’ll take him, all the way to the hilt as slow as he can manage. 

A moan tears out of him, lewd and whiny as his hair tickles your collarbone, head falling into the crook of your neck. His skin is hot and damp against yours, his breath burning your shoulder as he tries to calm down. It’s difficult to register much else, tethered only by the sound of his voice when he asks, “Am I hurting you?” 

“Hoon,” you whisper. 

“Can you look at me, baby?” He lifts his head, resting a hand on your cheek. You blink your eyes open, gaze locking with his, where concern pushes through his desire. “Am I hurting you?” he asks again. “Are you okay?” 

You nod. “I’m okay, just..” You sigh. “Full. Need a minute.” 

Sunghoon kisses you, lips moving gently with yours, passing breathy whines between your mouths until you feel yourself relaxing. Pulling his plush bottom lip between yours, you suck on it, nodding. “Want you to move, baby,” you mumble. 

He scans your face, eyes meeting yours as he pulls his hips back. He’s slow, so slow with his thrusts that your belly turns with want, your fingernails sink into the taut skin of his back, and jagged sobs fall out of you with each drag of his cock along your walls. 

Everywhere his skin touches yours is set ablaze with scorching heat, goosebumps pushing past the surface as his breath fans your neck and his sharp teeth graze your skin. He bites hard enough to sting, and you wince as his tongue flicks over your bitten flesh to soothe you.

You were so worked up earlier, writhing against the sheets and coming undone in his palm, so bliss quickly pushes through the ache between your legs. “Good, Hoon, feels so good,” you manage, struggling to convey how perfect it is.

“Just want to make you feel good.” His words melt into each other, vowels soft and elongated as they curl around each other. He’s working up a steady rhythm, his tip consistently nudging you where you need it—the spot that makes the room blur around you. “That’s all I want.” 

Before long, the knot in your stomach pulls you up from the mattress, arching your back towards the ceiling. Mouth to mouth, chest to chest—it’s the closest you’ve ever felt to someone else, the closest you’ve ever been. The thought alone knocks the wind out of you, and his persistent whining does nothing to help.

Your want and adoration for Sunghoon run bone-deep, inching up your spine and creeping over your shoulders, intertwined with an all-consuming pleasure that turns the heat in your stomach molten as a shudder zips through you. Even though you can’t find the words to let him know, he lifts your hips from the bed to fuck you deeper, harder, into the mattress until shaky orgasms pull both of you under. 

You let him fall into you, fingers curling around his hair, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck as he comes, most of his weight on top of you while you catch your breath, relishing in the fullness you feel as the last waves of your high pull back. You stay like this for as long as he needs, his head coming up from the crook of your neck to smile at you before pressing his lips to yours. A sleepy haze fills the room around you, tongue swiping tongue as you giggle happily into his mouth. 

After a while, he gets up, tying the condom to throw it away and comes back with his shirt. He uses it to clean up—gentle between your legs, pressing kisses to your calves while he does. Sunghoon’s tenderness wraps around your heart, and love clouds your vision, forming a blurry trail that follows all of his movements, glowing like something from a dream, ethereal, an apparition. 

The bed dips beside you, his arms around you, pulling you in so his chin rests on your head. You push your cheek into his chest, hoping the two of you will meld into one—the thought makes you warm all over, a fuzziness that reaches every part of your body while he presses kisses into your hair, rubbing your back. 

“I love you,” he says, voice as soft as the rest of him. “I’m glad I exist.”

mama park: Hi lovely 😍 missing you lots, wondering when you’ll be home for Xmas………..love ma

Sunghoon stirs, nose scrunching as he snores softly into the quiet of a winter morning. His chest rises and falls steadily under your head and he doesn’t move when you sit up. The lamp on his desk is still on — neither of you could be bothered getting up to turn it off last night — and under its dim glow, you admire him. Perfect lips gently curved—long lashes kissing the skin under his eyes. 

Love hits you from all angles, warmth all over from head to toe despite the chill in Sunghoon’s room. You can’t help but grin, leaning up to nose along the underside of his chin, his natural scent so soft yet dizzying as you nuzzle into him. He stirs again, turning his head this way and that before resting, you feel a bit bad, deciding to leave him be and text his mum back. 

you: hi mum !!! missing you sooooooo much :((( will be home asap

mama park: BTW Sunghoon told me everything. I raised such good actors LOL make sure he looks after you and keeps you happy!

you: i’m so sorry we lied to you..

you: but i’m really happy with him and he loves me a lot

you: i love him so much .. never been so sure of anyone in my life

© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !

permanent taglist: @asahicore

[leonstoenailunderhisbed]

I don’t think people understand how smart Leon actually is. That man had high marks from the police academy, hence why Chief Irons (in the orientation letter Leon has in RE2R) says that his grades are commendable and that R.P.D. are proud to have him on the force.

This got me thinking a lot because at first I thought being a police officer didn’t take much given that anyone today can be in the force.

But that wasn’t the case in 1998.

I did a little research because I thought it would be interesting to see just what Leon had to go through to become a police officer.

Back in the 90s, cellphones and modern technology didn’t exist such as DNA identification and body cams/car cams. This definitely made the job a bit harder than it is today because there was a need for more evidence to be collected and the overuse of your brain. Nowadays, technology is an important factor in the police force and almost everything is done by the computer now.

So let’s picture this: It’s the late 90s right before he got sent to Raccoon City. He’s in the academy and he has to go through training. Especially with weapons since most academies switched from revolvers to semi-auto guns (already something a bit modern for that time).

For those who’ve played the game, when you go into the Shooting Range room, you can clearly see just how old the room is compared to modern shooting ranges. Not only is the design of the target paper old, it’s also very simplistic compared to today’s (in 2024, most markings have numbers and more lines for accuracy than back in the day).

This meant that Leon had to train a good amount of time to perfect his aim. It also meant that he had to go through driving training—which was mostly Emergency Vehicle Operations Courses (EVOC: safe and defensive driving for cops in other words)

I’d like to think that his determination (when he told Ada that the reason he joined the force was for people like Emma and Gunshop owner) really helped him advance through his academic route of the training and I’d like to believe that he go high scores because of that.

The 90s were a pivotal time for new policies to be introduced in police academies. When Leon was a kid, presumably during the 80s, he probably saw just how different it was back then than it is now (in 1998) lots of “new” technology were introduced to him when he first started the training. And he probably had to adapt quickly to the technologies and new techniques.

Leon is quick on his feet, he grasps a lot of things and I’m tired of people making him out to be as some dumb blonde with muscles. He’s very smart and we see that throughout the games and films.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he was GT when he grew up.

EDIT: MB YALL😭 GT is a program for students K-12 where they’re put in advanced classes like AP or IB. It stands for Gifted and Talented (something like the Magnet Program in some schools in the US)

[m4nj1r0s]

Hiii okay I'm obsessed with your TR headcanons! May I request relationship headcanons for Shinichiro Sano? Maybe with a stoic/ calm and collected reader? Thank you if you do 💖

Shinichiro Sano with a stoic/collected reader headcannons

I’m so sorry for the rlly late reply I was sooo inactive recently but tyy! It’s a little short but hope you like it :)

———————————————————————————————————————

- Admires you a lot, since he’s quite literally the opposite.

- Before you guys started dating, he used to sneak glances at you with a massive blush on his face. You were just so pretty even whilst you did the most boring things on earth.

- Unfortunately, his little ‘glance’ ended up w/ him staring at you for a good 10 mins and he’s scared you think he’s a weirdo :(

- You probably do ibsr

- Whenever he’s around you he tries to act nonchalant like in the gif, but internally he’s freaking out. Poor boy doesn’t want to ward you off because he likes you sm.

- Given his track record with girls, it’s safe to say he goes to Wakasa. You two are similar, and he wants to try and figure out what you’re thinking.

- Wakasa actually gives him genuine advice, probably because he’s gotten so much second-hand embarrassment from Shinichiro asking girls out before 😭

- Has a whole ass notepad where he jots down things you tell him about yourself. Even if it’s the smallest thing.

- “So, you had a vanilla milkshake whilst you were on vacation 3 years ago?”

- “Correct.. Why are you writing that down?”

- Read a romance novel to try and figure out how to confess to you and he decided to do it on a day that was rainy so you two could have a cute first kiss in the rain moment right after you said yes, breaking your stoic demeanor and also confessed your undying love to him.

- Assuming you said yes ofc..

- Wakasa shut it down almost immediately after Shinichiro told him tho 🙁

- So he opted to ask you out whilst you two were hanging out in his motorbike shop during the sunset.

- “So you’ll actually go out with me???!”

- “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

- Mf was literally jumping for joy

- Naturally after you guys start dating you’ll hang around with Wakasa, Benkei and Takeomi more. Which is fine, since you and Wakasa have similar personalities and you get along with Benkei & Takeomi.

- Shinichiro was happy that you got along w/ his friends but he does get jealous easily. Especially when you and Wakasa form a good friendship :(

- He’s not upset you two get along, but he’s going with you anytime you hang out.

- He gets jealous pretty easily, and then he gets insecure when you seem to be so nonchalant.

- Do you get as jealous as he does when he talks to girls?? (they only talk to him to ask for directions)

- Mikey and Emma adore you, though they were ASTOUNDED Shinichiro brought someone as cool as you home as his girlfriend.

- They crash your guys’ dates sometimes, but you guys don’t mind.

- Shinichiro loves to hand-feed you, and this mf WILL even if you try and stop him.

- “..Move that spoon away from my face.”

- “Honeybuns, you have to eat!-”

- Literally the king of making the cheesiest, corniest nicknames for you and he genuinely thinks they’re cute.

- They range from Honeybuns, Pookie, SNOOKIE, Sugarplum, Sweetiepie and Cinnamonbun.

- Yes, he literally calls you cinnamon bun sometimes 😭

- But he is a gentleman. Will hold open doors for you, make sure you have a helmet if youre going on his motorbike, tie your shoelaces for you and on those rare days you’re too tired to walk he will carry you.

- I hc he’s actually strong, but js can’t fight for whatever reason. So he’s pretty good at lifting things up, which is useful if you ever want to rearrange furniture :)

- Has a fun little game where he tries his hardest to catch you off guard and will randomly kiss you, but the thing is he always does it at the worst time 😭

- One time he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist and you punched him 😭

- “Why would you punch me, Cinnamonbun?!”

- “..My bad.”

- You’re his savior when he gets injured though. Whether it was in his shop, or Mikey and Emma ganging up on him, you always tend to his injuries and your calmness also relaxes him in turn.

- Has a cringe t-Shirt with your face on it that says ‘If Lost, please return to:’ 🫠

- He thinks it’s cute!..

- In conclusion, he will be extra cheesy if you’re stoic <3

[scarletaqua]

Trophy (18+)

G!P Bada Lee x (Jam Republic) Reader

I’m so obsessed with her😭

Some of the scenarios here doesn’t follow the first episode of SWF2. For example, I put Jam republic seats across BEBE.

~~~~~~~~

Bada won the trophy…

Y/n’s POV:

“I’m so nervous. Everyone is so intimidating”

Being in the same group with ‘THE Kirsten’ is probably the best thing that happened to me. She taught me everything there is to know about dancing. I started dancing five years ago, hence the nervousness.

“Girl, you got this. Why do you think I picked you to join this competition?”

Kirsten’s reassurance calms me down a bit. But I still can’t help to overthink scenarios in my mind. Especially when I’m trying not to fangirl over Bada Lee. She’s the reason I pursue this career, it’s feels like a dream knowing that your idol is sitting across you. And staring at you.

The Mc’s voice rang through out the place meaning the break’s over and we’re now starting with a freestyle battle. Audrey asked me what’s happening and why are the other contenders suddenly looks serious, i told her that they’re starting the show with a battle. Knowing how to speak Korean is a blessing to me and my teammates. I thank duolingo.

“So why does everyone look like they have beef with each other?” Audrey whispered.

“For drama”, I whispered back to her.

“Ahh”

“Guys, listen.” Kirsten pulls all of us out of the conversation to listen to the host. I didn’t even noticed that Latrice and the others were listening.

“Nod your head y’all, like you understand what he’s saying”

“Great thinking, Latrice” , Emma responded.

As the battle of ‘No Respect’ comes up, a girl from 1million, Redy, challenges Bada to a battle. Which of course Bada won, they must have some sort of past relation when Bada answered Redy’s ‘No Respect’ challenge with ‘Subin-ah, you’re still an eight grader to me’.

After Kirsten’s battle against a girl from Mannequeen, everyone took a break.

“Hey, someone’s looking at you” Ling suddenly pointed out to me. And the girls of course turned their heads to where Ling is looking. Bada went back to her position talking to her members before I even see her looking at me.

“She’s probably a fan of Kirsten, Ling” I told her, but then she just smiled at me as if she knows something. “What? I’m just saying”

“Stop it. I’m gonna go to the washroom”

I stood up from my seat and skim my way through the crowd of staffs. I finally found the washroom and went inside to fix my make up. I can’t believe I saw Bada. She’s so tall and charismatic. And her dance against Redy is something that would probably stick in my mind even after this show. As i was re-applying my lipstick the bathroom door opened revealing Bada. I tried not to look at her when she washes her hands beside me. More likely I can’t, I’m like frozen in spot.

“Hey”

Oh my god, she’s talking to me. Okay be cool, be cool.

“Hello” I responded in Korean, as I bowed to greet her.

“Oh you can speak Korean, that’s great” I look up at her to see her smiling down at me. It’s a great sight to see. Like God’s blessing. “So, you’re from Jam Republic right?”

“Yes”

“I’m Bada by the way. Bada Lee, from BEBE” she holds out her hand for me to shake.

“I’m Y/n L/n. And I know who you are, I’m a fan”

I gently shook her hand and she seems pleased with my respond. Stop looking at me with that smile, I’m gonna melt. I was going to let go of the handshake when she pulls me a bit closer to her.

“Can I take you out to dinner?”

Huh?

“Huh?”

“I’d like to take you out on a date, if it’s okay with you”

“Huh?”

My Lord, Save me.

Actually don’t, but pray for me. This woman is too much. I can’t believe she asked me out. I must be dreaming. No, I need to calm down. I have to think this through. Girl! What’s there to think about this is Bada Lee!

“In one condition, if you win another battle. I’ll go on a date with you” Why did i say that! I should’ve said yes!

“You can’t back out now. Pick you up at 8.” She slowly let go of my hand and gave me a smile before walking out the door.

I can’t breathe

I went out after 10 minutes to calm myself down. I then sat down with my teammates, Ling once again looked at me with a teasing smile.

“Your admirer went out looking for you, did you guys meet?”

“No”

“Hmmm”

~Timeskip after the battle~

“So, I’ll be seeing you at 8 then”

Of course she won, I should’ve said yes earlier, now my teammates can’t stop looking at me.

“Yes, actually you can take her now”

“Ling! Oh my god, don’t mind her please” Bada laughs at them and then looked at me waiting for my answer. “I’ll text you my address” , I gave her my phone to type her number in.

“I’ll be waiting for your text”

Bada went with her teammates to their dressing room, skipping happily like a kid. I watched her vanish from my view as my team and I made our way to our room.

“Did not meet, my ass”

“Shut up, Ling”, I tried to walk faster so I can think about what just happened.

“You should invite her to your apartment here, I mean her dinner is there”

“Please stop.”

“Nope”

“Kirsten please make her stop”

“Nuh-uh, I’m enjoying this”

Kill me now

~Timeskip~

I texted Bada my location as soon as I got home. I bought an apartment here in Korea when I attended a dance class for half a year. I immediately took a shower and pick out my outfit. I ended up with a red satin fitted dress and matched my make up with it.

I’m now sitting in my couch waiting for Bada to arrive. She haven’t texted me back but she read my message so it’s okay. As I was skimming through Netflix on what to watch while waiting for her, my doorbell rang. She’s pretty early, it’s only 7:30pm. I opened my door revealing a drenched Bada.

“Oh my god! What happened to you? Come in!”

I immediately took a towel from my cupboard and gave it to her.

“It’s okay its only my jacket that is wet. It’s raining so hard outside, we might have to re schedule our date.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. It must have been a hassle getting here.” How did I not notice the weather outside, now I feel bad for making her come here.

“It’s alright. I brought some wine, and these are for you”, she handed me the flowers and set down the wine on the coffee table. She looks so good drying her hair.

“You didn’t have to you know, but thank you. I appreciate it”, I stood up and put the flowers on a vase. I was gonna put it on the dining table when I bumped into Bada.

“Careful now”

“Sorry, I didn’t see you behind me”

“Let me take those, you want it in your dining table right?”

She took the vase from my hand and put them on the table. I did not notice what she was wearing when she came in earlier, but now that I have time to check her out, she look so handsome in a button up shirt and black slacks. I did not notice her calling my name, as I was busy thanking the lord.

“Y/n, you alright?”

“Huh? Oh yes. I was just thinking, we don’t have to reschedule our date.” Bada looked at me waiting for me to continue.

“We can just order food and have our date here”

‘…her dinner is there…’ out of my head, Ling.

“Uh, sure. We can do that. What do you want?”

We decided on Chinese food and sat down ourselves in the living room. Bada standing in front of the tv looking for a movie to watch while I look at my messages. I ignored the one from my teammates, they’re probably wondering what’s happening.

“Hey, the food place is running late on schedule. They said it might take a while because of the rain.” Bada informed me, as she typed in her phone.

“That’s okay, we can watch a movie while waiting for the food”

I poured the wine on our glasses and handed hers. I took a sip of my glass and looked at the tv. I can’t believe how she can look so charismatic while looking for a movie. Oh Lord. I’m down bad. This is bad. I took another sip of my wine, it’s honestly sweet, I leaned forward to looked at the brand of the wine when I heard Bada asked me about a movie.

“Y/n, what about this one. It’s abou-“

I looked up at Bada waiting for her to continue what she’s saying, only to see her looking down past my face. Or rather my chest. I quickly leaned back fixing my dress a bit.

“I’m sorry. I- I didn’t mean to stare at your chest”

Bada is now blushing furiously, it’s unusual to see her like this. All flustered and stuttering her words. Interesting.

“It’s alright, sit beside me. Let’s watch your pick” I said as I pat the space beside me on the couch.

Bada sat beside me, with at least two feet between us. I laughed at her and told her to sit closer. She did sat closer but her face is still red from the event earlier. The movie starts playing it’s a horror film with Jenna Ortega in it. I think it’s called ‘X’. The thunder and rain outside fits perfectly with the movie. I looked at the person beside me, watching the movie so intensely. I can see her side profile perfectly, her sharp jaw, her tall nose. Everything about is so attractive. I saw her clenched her jaw, while watching the movie.

“Ohh~ baby. Just like that~”

Huh?

I immediately turned my head towards the tv and saw what’s happening. They’re having sex. That’s why she was clenching her jaw. Oh my god.

Third Person POV:

Y/n can’t help but noticed Bada’s response to the movie. She saw Bada quietly took a pillow and put it on her lap. She thought it was probably to help her be more comfortable. What she didn’t know is Bada was trying not to react to the movie. Bada’s grip on the pillow harden, turning her knuckles white. And this time Y/n ask if she’s feeling okay.

“Y-yes. Just feeling a bit hot”, Bada answered trying to not look at the gorgeous girl beside her.

“I can turn on the air conditioner if you want”

Y/n stood up trying to find the remote for the AC, and she found the remote beside Bada.

Y/n leaned forward to reach the remote but failed. She then gave up when Bada told her not to turn the AC on. Bada then poured more wine to her glass and downed it in one go. The movie continues now with the horror scenes. Y/n is a scaredy cat. Bada learned that tonight, when she felt Y/n screamed and hug her. Bada gave in and hugged Y/n closer to her. Her perfume intoxicating her, leaning herself towards the smaller girl. Y/n not noticing the effect she had on Bada, she climbed on her lap replacing the pillow on Bada’s lap. Y/n heard Bada groans thinking she hurt the girl.

“I’m sorry, did I hit you?” Y/n pulled away and asked worriedly.

The taller girl did not answer and just looked at her in the eye. Y/n was surprised at the close proximity between them. She was going to get up from Bada’s lap when she was pulled back in the old position.

“Stay, Y/n”

Bada leaned her head on Y/n’s shoulder pulling the smaller girl closer to her. This gave her more opportunity to smell that intoxicating perfume once again. Turning her head towards Y/n’s neck, she places a small kiss and pulled away. Y/n now understanding what’s happening, blushes and covers her face. She can feel it underneath her. Bada just got more attractive in her eyes.

“Don’t hide your pretty face from me”

Y/n slowly remove her hands away from her face. Her breathing became heavy, she looks down at Bada’s lips then back at her eyes. The way she looks right now is the one thing that Bada will never let anyone see. Her arms around her neck, hands on her waist, it’s perfect.

“We can stop, if you want-”

Y/n captured her lips before Bada even finishes what she’s saying. Bada responded with the same passion. They both kissed liked they’ve been starved for years. Y/n grinds herself to Bada earning a groan from the other girl. Bada’s grip on Y/n’ waist tightened as she helps her grind on her crotch. Bada’s hands pushed Y/ns dress up and caress her thigh. Y/n’s hands began unbuttoning Bada’s shirt, throwing it on the couch once she got it off of her.

Bada trails her kisses down to the other girl’s jaw and neck. Earning a moan as she sucks on the skin. With gentle hands she pulled the strap of the dress down Y/n’s shoulder as she kisses her way down. Y/n elicited a moan when Bada sucked on her nipple. Covering her mouth in response, Bada saw this and grabbed her hand and pulled it away from her mouth.

“I want to hear everything tonight”

Bada continued to ravaged her body not missing any skin untouched. Y/n on the other hand work her way through the taller girls belt. Unbuckling it was the easy part, reaching down to unzip it is not. Bada pulled away and let the girl do what she wants. Y/n got down to her knees and unzip Bada’s pants. She then pulled it down along with the boxers. Bada’s hardness slaps against her stomach startling the kneeling girl. Y/n wraps her hands around the length and looked at Bada. She then starts to move her hands up and down and leaned herself forward kissing Bada.

“Fuck…Y/n”

Bada threw her head back when she felt Y/n sucking her off. She felt incredible, her hands find their ways on Y/n’s hair pushing her down her lenght.

“Almost there baby”

Y/n bobs her hear faster as the grip on her hair tightened. Bada came and watched the girl swallows her cum as she praised her.

“Atta girl”

Y/n removed all the clothing from her body, she looked at Bada’s crotch seeing that it’s hard once again. Bada couldn’t take it anymore, she pulled Y/n down and lay her down on the couch. Bada’s hands found their way between Y/n’s legs.

“No, I want you. Inside”

Y/n looked at Bada as she lined Bada’s cock to her entrance. Bada pushed her tip in feeling the way Y/n arch her back. Bada was gonna let Y/n adjust to her size, but right now all she wanna do is fuck Y/n hard.

“I’m sorry”

“What-Ahh!”

And she did, Bada slams all her length inside Y/n. She was going on a rough pace and Y/n was loving it. She leaned forward to sucked on Y/n breast as she fucks her roughly. She kissed Y/n passionately whispering praises to her. Bada then leaned back to admire Y/n. Y/n’s glossy eyes looking back at her, her boobs following the rhythm of her hips, and her moans. This stirs up something in her, seeing Y/n getting fucked senselessly by her. This made her thrust her hips faster, causing Y/n to let out a chocked moan. Y/n pulled her down to hold on to her. Y/n’s moans are now by her ears, making her groan.

“So-so big. Harder”

Y/n pleaded and Bada complied positioning herself deeper and hitting the spongy part inside Y/n. Y/n’s moaning is getting louder as Bada kept hitting that part.

Ding~dong~

Ding~dong~

Y/n pushed Bada and try to make her stop thrusting her hips.

“I-I think it’s the-the food..fuckk”

“Then open it” Bada suggested

Bada pulled out and let Y/n answer the door. She saw her hiding behind the door trying to cover her naked state. Bada quietly walk towards Y/n as she closes the door and locking it. And before Y/n can turn around, Bada pinned her to the door, pushing herself inside her once again.

“W-wait Bada. He-He’s still out- fuck..”

Bada returned to her previous pace, holding Y/n hips and pulling her back a bit. This new position is hitting Y/n in all the right places. Bada’s hips thrust faster and harder wanting to hear Y/n break and moan loudly.

“Let me hear you, baby”

Bada’s almost at her limit and she knows Y/n is too by the way she clenched around her. She didn’t want this to end but seeing Y/n struggling to stand, she knew she had to. Y/n leaned her head back to Bada’s shoulder, and arching her back allows Bada to fuck her faster.

“Cum for me, Y/n”

Bada whispered to her, and like a switch her body complied. Moaning loudly as she felt Bada finished inside her as well. Y/n’s body collapsed as Bada carried her to her room. Y/n felt Bada slip in beside her spooning her as they drifted to sleep.

They found their drinks outside the apartment the next morning…

———————————————

This is my first story and I can’t believe I made this. It’s prolly trash

Bada got me on a leash.

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo Revengers Groupchat (Final Timeline)

Warnings: suggestive (i might have to change this warning to "mentions of sexual content" bcs it's too tame of a warning for the stuff that's actually in here), swearing, the word "pedophile" is mentioned, mentions of substance abuse

Desc: Everyone finds out Takemitchy and Mikey are time leapers, which leads to some...interesting questions

Mitsuya: so let me get this straight

Mitsuya: you're a time traveler, and you've lived dozens of timelines to prevent Hina from dying but she kept dying anyway but then when you got to one where she didn't die, Mikey was some deranged criminal lord and was miserable and depressed and tried to kill himself so you had to go back in time again to make sure everything was fixed but ended up dying while fighting Mikey but then somehow you both went back in time and rewrote all of our entire lives??

Takemitchy: yeah...

Baji: cap

Mikey: it's not

Mitsuya: so Mikey's a time traveler too?

Mikey: yeah it's crazy i know

Draken: do you guys have any way to prove this?

Chifuyu: this explains why i keep getting random visions of me in alternate universes. holy shit

Haruchiyo: weird ass prank

Takemitchy: i think it happened since you're close to me and we basically did everything together. i'm not sure

Inupi: we're just gonna believe this?

Koko: wait, i kind of do

Kisaki: this...defies all logic of anything ever.

Mikey: shut up Kisaki

Mikey: i'm sorry it's just that in ever other timeline you've ruined my life so it's difficult to be nice to you sometimes

Kisaki: so you don't like me because of something i did in another universe?

Takemitchy: *timeline

Mikey: yeah. my bad

Baji: i'm gonna entertain this cause i'm bored but what was i like in other timelines

Mikey: dead

Baji: ...all of em?

Mikey: yeah, it kinda drove me to insanity

Baji: damn

Baji: why?

Mikey: you killed yourself to save Kazutora

Baji: what was the context

Mikey: long story

Baji: there wasn't any other way?

Mikey: you're kinda pissing me off cause that's what i was wondering, actually

Baji: damn

Kazutora: thanks man. appreciate it🙏

Kazutora: i'll slobber on your meat later, as a proper thank you

Baji: i'd appreciate that. thanks homie🙌

Koko: what about me?

Baji: you wanna slobber on my meat? i mean i won't stop you. as long as i can call you kitten.

Koko: ...i was talking about me in alternate universe's😐

Takemitchy: i don't think we should go there guys. there's too many timelines, and not everything was exactly the same. and also in general it was a really traumatizing experience for me and i kind of want to end my life every time i think about it

Hanma: womp womp. what about me???

Mikey: murderer

Hanma: YESSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭

Hanma: THANK GOD, I KNEW IF I COULDN'T DO IT HERE, MULTIVERSE ME WOULD HAVE LIVED THE DREAM

Hanma: are me and Tetta-san together in every universe

Mikey: surprisingly, yes

Hanma: and he denies we're soulmates😔

Kisaki: i will not hesitate to get another restraining order

Hanma: a piece of paper won't stand in my way. let's get married

Kisaki: i will call the police

Draken: guys are we really entertaining this?

Mikey: you went to jail in one of the timelines and you were bald LMAO

Draken: sure

Baji: why'd he go to jail?

Mikey: these guys killed Emma and Ken-chin took revenge

Baji: respectable

Mikey: he was given a death sentence

Baji: that's tough fr

Ran: i'm kinda curious

Ran: humour me, what was i like?? was i famous?

Mikey: you were a criminal. killed people

Ran: sounds about right if i'm being honest

Ran: and Haruchiyo and Rindou?

Haruchiyo: leave me out of Takemitchy's psychotic episodes

Haruchiyo: i think you have a hallucination/delusion disorder or something

Mikey: but don't you believe me?

Haruchiyo: ...

Haruchiyo: Mikey, you're also pretty mentally ill

Mikey: says you???

Haruchiyo: i just have substance abuse problems and i'm getting clean so...

Mikey: GUYS I'M TELLING THE TRUTH I SWEAR

Mikey: I'VE BEEN GOING CRAZY KEEPING THIS A SECRET

Draken: when was the last time you slept?

Mikey: ☹️

Baji: guys just play pretend.

Rindou: what about me?

Mikey: same as your brother just uh, less gay and slutty?

Rindou: story of my life

Inupi: you didn't do Koko

Mikey: criminal

Koko: the whole time?

Mikey: yeah

Mikey: Inupi got normal at some point because he and Ken-chin got close and they fixed bikes together and had sex

Inupi: Draken????

Draken: you're really starting to piss me off.

Mikey: Akane died in the fire though like she was BURNT

Takemitchy: uh Mikey-kun...

Mikey: she was a crisp i'm telling you

Mikey: Inupi you had an ugly red scar on your face and no one wanted you

Mikey: Izana i know you're reading this, you were fucking insane dude like you killed Emma for some fucking reason then Kisaki shot you 3 times in the chest and you died while having a really bad mental breakdown. it was a major L on your part

Chifuyu: Mikey why are you leaving out the fact that the common denominator in every single timeline was that you killed every single one of your friends in the most brutal ways possible🤨?

Mikey: no comment

Smiley: how'd he kill me?

Chifuyu: uhhh

Chifuyu: Takemitchy help me out here

Takemitchy: i don't want to talk about it😐

Chifuyu: I REMEMBER

Chifuyu: backshot

Smiley: ...

Smiley: he killed me by giving me backshots..?

Smiley: i would NEVER take it from behind

Smiley: especially from MIKEY

Smiley: small dick having ass

Smiley: my bootyhole is not to be messed with

Smiley: i'm so pissed off right now holy shit

Smiley: how did i even die???? dick so good it killed me?

Smiley: i'm so angry

Angry: and i'm Smiley😂

Baji: 3/10 joke 👎, poor delivery, fell flat

Smiley: i hope you kill yourself, Mikey

Mikey: trust me, i've tried

Chifuyu: ???

Chifuyu: he shot you in the back with a gun?

Chifuyu: what's wrong with you

Smiley: oh my bad i though you meant like, he was taking me doggy style

Smiley: i'm no bottom

Ran: what is happening

Chifuyu: i'm moving on😐

Chifuyu: Hakkai was tied to a chair and burnt to death

Hakkai: wha-

Hakkai: WHAT DID I DO??

Hakkai: jesus 😟

Chifuyu: why am i getting all these memories, i'm freaking out

Hakkai: Mikey please tell me what i did to deserve that ☹️

Mikey: idk Hakkai i was going through a lot

Draken: have you been diagnosed with anything?

Mikey: i don't need a diagnosis bcs i'm fine now, you're all alive and i don't have any murderous intent!!! yippee🤗

Mikey: isn't this great Takemitchy??

Takemitchy: well, yeah no ones dead so that's great

Izana: this is obviously completely fabricated

Izana: are you guys that bored?

Senju: man for all that time traveling you sure are a shit boyfriend😭

Takemitchy: how????

Takemitchy: did Hina say that☹️??

Senju: it's an observation

Senju: you've had way too many coincidental close calls with other woman💀

Draken: yeah you pissed me off when you thought i was gifting you a prostitute. you had a whole ass girlfriend. shame on you

Senju: and you also almost slept with Emma and you "don't remember"

Smiley: Mitchy's low-key funny as hell because what do you mean you stripped yourself and another girl down to your underwear by accident

Baji: wouldn't Takemitchy be a pedophile then?? Emma was 13 dawg🤨

Mikey: he was 14 though😭

Baji: you're gonna ride Takemitchy's dick to defend him from trying to sleep with your 13 year old sister??? crazy

Baji: wasn't be mentally 26🤨?

Baji: bro i'm gonna beat your ass actually

Mikey: hmm

Mikey: you know what Mitchy, why did you do that 🤨?

Smiley: LMFAOO

Mitsuya: why did i come back to Takemitchy facing pedophile allegations, like what's going on right now

Kazutora: is it not enough that he changed the space and time continuum just to be with his girl?

Kazutora: cheating this cheating that, my boy deserves all the pussy he wants

Kazutora: he's been beaten, shot, stabbed AND killed

Kazutora: i personally believe he's the goat

Baji: ?

Chifuyu: goat is an acronym for "greatest of all time", Baji-san

Baji: what's an acronym

Chifuyu: i'll dm

Kazutora: bro you're so fucking stupid😭

Draken: i don't care if he was skinned alive by an orangutan, there's no excuse to cheat on someone

Rindou: i think being skinned alive by an orangutang warrants having more than one girl. idk that's just me tho

Ran: not the point that's being made rn

Rindou: what exactly is the point that's being made

Rindou: is this real. are we being serious.

Rindou: i don't think i get the joke

Haruchiyo: i think we should all stop talking now

Mikey: Mitchy we need to talk a bit

Takemitchy: i told you this was a bad idea

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

Marriage Rumours

masterlist

note: kinda like it, kinda don't 🤷‍♀️

warnings: none <3

word count: n/a

♡ summary: Rumours of a marriage end up being true

♡ Andrew Garfield x Wife!reader

request ✓

ynln_official

liked by tarayummy, florencepugh, and others

ynln_official: domestic life.

view all comments

yn.stannn: they're puzzling together

drew: whos dog is that???

pughpugh: she's adorable and insanely hot at the same time.

tina.bob_idk: i want this 😭

andrew_imcomingforyou: i want her

-

ynln_official

liked by zendaya, anyataylorjoy, and others

ynln_official: bring your partner to work day

📸 : andrew

view all comments

iamauser: i don't know if i want to be her or be with her

hello.howsurday: y'all notice she never says 'boyfriend' its always 'partner'???

imgettinglazy: i love that andrew just followed yn around work like a lost puppy

author: she's so hot 🥵

user: the hottest couple 🔥🔥

not.lizzie: i don't even know which one i would rather be

lizzie: easy i want to be andrew.

-

emma

@/ynln-updates

yn and andrew were pictured leaving the gym. looks like they were playing tennis.

jemma @/tasm.isbest replying to @/ynln-updates i wish i looked that good after working out

Tessa @/torturedpoet replying to @/ynln-updates if you room in you can see that the necklace yn is wearing is a ring

jess @/likeingilmoregirls replying to @/torturedpoet kinda looks like a wedding ring

jess @/likeingilmoregirls replying to @/likeingilmoregirls plus they did go on like a two month long trip last year

Tessa @/torturedpeot replying to @/likeingilmoregirls wait! truee!!!!

Emily @/maisiepeters.stan replying to @/likeingilmoregirls why would it be a wedding ring if it's around her neck?

Tessa @/torturedpoet replying to @/maisiepeters.stan because they just came from the gym my mom does that with her ring

tiffany @/reblogifyouwatched.tns replying to @/ynln-updates he has bi wife energy. thats why i think they're married.

steph @/currentlybelievesinlove replying to @/ynln-updates if they ever break up i don't think i'll believe in love.

-

ynln_official

liked by sabrinacarpenter, gemmastyles, and others

ynln_official: one year with the love of my life 🤍

view all comments

tessa_sameone: I KNEW IT

mytummyhurts: prettiest wedding photos everrrr

reneerapp.loml: a YEAR? damnnn

tiff.tns_: knew he gave bi wife energy.

brina.and.tayy: the sunglasses are givingggg

[slutt4ellie]

Summer Blossoms

PT2 - Wilted Covers

masterslist

PART 1 // PART 3 // PART 4

Falling in love is hard. Worse when you know it can’t happen.

Summery - Yours and Ellie’s big fight has you both racking over what happened that night, and as of now you’re both falling apart, you feel as trying to fix it may be out of the picture..

Warnings -> Homophobia / Starts off in Ellie’s POV / Angst / Mean!Ellie 😬 / Implied Jealous!Ellie / Reader flirts with a guy but it’s short / Reader is convinced she’s straight 😭 / Guy flirts with reader / People are so mean to Ellie / Panic attack ☹️ / Angst / They’re both semi convinced it’s all platonic idk. / Denying of feelings / Internalized homophobia / Eventual smut / (Lmk if I missed anything else!!)

WC: 8k

(Not proofread!)

Ellie was lost at what exactly happened that morning..that night?...

She was laying on her bed looking up at her ceiling, the distance sound of her record player in the back making some ambience so it’s not just her thoughts.

The silence would have killed her and the music seemed like a solid distraction.

Perfect in between..

The thing Ellie was racking over was that she didn’t understand how you guys could go from literal cuddling, your lips on her skin, to you yelling at her to get out?...

She was trying to understand if maybe she possibly read too far into that night, like if she crossed the line, and maybe interrupted something wrong, she just didn’t get it. How the short nod of your head meant nothing. Of course being in response of Ellie’s words which were “You okay.”

She was trying to really lay it out, picture it, trying to fully fucking understand if she did something wrong. If she pushed you too far or even made you uncomfortable? She thought of it all. You just seemed so normal, then it all came crashing down

She hated the look she saw in your eyes, it reminded her of Emma, when she only had the face of disgust. She wanted to believe that since she saw that look once it wouldn’t hurt as much, but that was quickly proven wrong.

The way you looked at her made her feel sick, like she was some sort of monster. And the more she’s told it, the more people tell her those exact words, it’s starting to feel that way.

But then again, to be fair yours was a little different. It had the outside layers of disgust, but when looking further into it, Ellie felt like maybe you had some hidden emotions. Ones she couldn’t even read.

And unsurprisingly she was dwelling on it, it’s all she could think about. And she hated herself for it. Because why did she care what you thought when you could barely look at her.

Hardly acknowledged the fact that she too, had feelings?

“Kiddo!” Joel’s voice echoed from downstairs, having Ellie thoughts finally stop once she heard another voice pop out. “Come out of your room!” He says once again, his voice was a bit stern like there was not a lot of room for discussion.

Ellie was the first person Joel told, mainly because he was pushing after he woke up alone in your father’s house and saw the bruised up state Ellie was in..

Her appearance being left at the hands of Jack.

Ellie really didn’t wanna tell him, she felt she was now to grown to fall victim and tell Joel what happened. But that went out the window immediately once he asked if something had happened between you two, Ellie instantly felt an uncomfortable lump in her throat, pushing her to talk about it. Talk about what happened. Even though she really didn’t want to.

It was like word vomit, and once she started she couldn’t stop.

So Joel was very aware of why Ellie was turning quite frankly nocturnal, and he was truly trying his best to push her outside. Even to bring her down to your house, thinking that talking things out would help.

Which Ellie could only let out a bitter laugh, because he didn’t see your face.

“I don’t feel good” Ellie groans pushing further back on her bed using the palms of her hands. Weary of the fact Joel will probably enter her bedroom soon enough. “My nose still hurts” She sighs, and really that part wasn’t a lie, they got her nose checked out the day after she left your house, and it was indeed broken.

That part was barely a shock. Her nose was swollen and an idiot could figure out with a simple glance it was definitely broken.

And Ellie being weary of the fact he’ll probably open her door was being right cautious because that he does, the door opens not too long after she finished her sentence. The old man entering her bedroom with boots that hit each wood slab making creeks all over the floor. “Come on kid.” He says before stopping the record player and opening up the blinds. Letting the sun shine into her bedroom.

Ellie finally sits up and shaking her head “No. I’m not in the mood today.” She says harshly looking at Joel, his eyebrows furrow.

He’s prepared to tell Ellie off, tell her how it’s not fair to get mad at him, being prissy or whatever. But then again Joel knows it’s now the second time a friend has freaked out on her, yet this one she does like, and has developed actually romantic feelings.

“Listen kiddo..” He takes a pause, to sigh of course, trying to think about what to say to his daughter. He knows Ellie’s not all great with the feeling thing. And in all fairness, neither is he? Seems like that passed onto her. “I get you like her-“

Ellie was extremely quick to cut him off, deny any feelings she may have for you, reason being because it sounded to fucking real. Admitting it out loud, saying that she felt something when you rested your head on her, lips touching her skin. She wasn’t ready for that. So she shakes her head fast. “I don’t like her-“ Ellie says quickly, worrying that if she says those words slowly then he’ll be able to realize she’s lacking truth and confidence aspect.

Joel sighs. “Why are you sulking then?” He questions looking her up and down. And it’s true, she hasn’t left her room since the matter happened, skipping on meals. It’s not like usual Ellie. Not to mention she was crying while explaining what happened. Hiccuping over every other word, the sight was rough to say the least.

“Because I don’t fucking feel good!” She groans defensively. Her voice is venomous, trying to cover up that she was indeed hurting.

He sighs and sits on her bed. Joel knows Ellie, and knows that he doesn’t want her to fall down the same whole Emma left her in, she was rough after that, and it was clear you hurt his daughter. But Joel’s also been on this planet long enough to know most drunk words, or even mistakes, can in fact be sober thoughts.

And he’s seen the way you’ve looked at each other, it didn’t just seem “friendly”..

“Why don’t we invite them to the lake house, at least for the first day?” He suggest. Maybe going over the cracked concrete which was formed can be fixed with some layers. And if you guys talk it out, that’s one layer right there.

“No?” Ellie laughs and stands up, prepared to literally leave her own room just to escape this situation. She doesn’t want to talk about it, much less with Joel.

He shrugs and sighs. “Shame” He pauses and clears his throat, Ellie’s just looking at him with confusion, unsure of what his next words will be. “Because the night you left I already mentioned it to her father. So?”

Ellie freezes and looks at him, she not sure what to do, the easiest thing would be to not go, but the lake house is one of the biggest breaks during her whole fucking summer. It’s filled with no responsibility or work and it gives her much needed time to relax.

But if you’re there, what is she gonna do. She’s not in favour of seeing you again, and in all honestly she wanted to take the route of just ignoring you for the rest of summer, wait out the last month till you’re gone again.

But at the lake house, that’ll be impossible. It’s small enough with her and Joel, she can’t just avoid you?

“What the fuck? Why!” Ellie yells right at him. Regretting her word choice once she sees Joel frown, he seems genuinely hurt at her words. Clearly not taking it as a stupid outburst.

“Come or don’t Ellie. I’m not sittin’ here and havin’ you be mean..just tryna help you kid..” Joel says before standing up and leaving her bedroom. before Ellie could say anything. Which ends up leaving Ellie with more guilt.

She’s again left with her thoughts, the distance remedy of her record player now gone making it so, so, quiet.

She honestly didn’t know what to do. Ellie didn’t want to see you, she felt extremely embarrassed of how things played out that morning. Especially since she barely said anything back, other than a few sentences that she later cringed at.

Besides the point she practically just took it, the yelling, you diminishing all her self proclaimed stealth esteem. Again, she was embarrassed.

Ellie runs her hand through her hair sighing deeply. She doesn’t want to go, she knows how you feel about her now, and it’s clear that you have no actual feelings for her, yet then again Ellie’s still trying to convince herself it doesn’t matter. You two are friends. Possibly? She hardly even knows if that’s still a possibility.

What’s convenient for you is that Ellie’s also extremely unaware of how that whole incident in your house is taking a bit fucking tool on you.

After Ellie left that morning you didn’t know what to do, you were so..harsh? And you didn’t even know why.

You’ve never been a stereotypical mean person, sure you’ve had your moments with friends back home, but they were never serious, not serious enough to the point where you wouldn’t talk to them for a long period of time. Yet with Ellie it was so unwarranted, like you didn’t want her to see you behind any layers. Despite laying your head on her, whispering to her that you were indeed okay with what was playing out.

You knew you weren’t like that…you didn’t- you don’t feel things for girls.

But you came so hostile the next morning with Ellie, defensive even.

Once Ellie left you felt confided into your bedroom, you didn’t really have anyone else to talk to other than her.

You were offered the news that Joel invited you and your father down to a lake house for a few days, and your father was very quick to mention the fact you didn’t exactly have a choice for if you were coming or not.

Your father was worried that you might bring boys or something over, throw parties. The normal stuff parents worry about.

But truthfully all you could think about was Ellie..not having anyone or anything else prioritizing your mind.

He’s picked up fast that Ellie and you haven’t been enjoying your regular hang outs, late night drives in her truck, sleepovers in your bedroom, you going to Joel’s, that was all fading. Your dad even took record that when Joel would stop by she wouldn’t be with him. He was watching as all of those things that seemed so regular were slowly becoming absent.

It was like Ellie was not even in the picture, but being your father, and not being great with feelings he didn’t want to question it. He knew girls have their little feelings, and fights, he really just didn’t want to interfere with whatever was playing out. So he left it.

And once you had full knowledge you didn’t have a choice, and you 100% had to go to the lake house you were so fucking nervous. Nervous about seeing Ellie again, talking to her, everything.

You didn’t want to see Ellie and have it be weird, but you knew it would be. Especially after you exploded at her, the look on her face was something you probably weren’t going to forget. It was filled with hurt, confusion. And even want.

It looked like she wanted to be wanted by you.

But you didn’t provide that, you couldn’t provide that? You just yelled at her to leave your house after she took a right hook to the face, which wouldn’t happen if you weren’t in the picture.

All you knew for sure is that you fucked up.

The worst part is, you weren’t even sure if you could fix it. You’ve signal handily dug a knife into Ellie’s chest!

“Ellie grab the last bag kid!” Joel yells from inside the tiny home. Ellie just mumbles something too incoherent for him to understand. She didn’t fully understand why she did come, it felt subconscious in a way. Like missing out on something because of you just meant you won. Especially after what you put her through, she didn’t want that message to be relayed to you.

“When are they comin’?” Ellie says with a loud exasperated sigh, far too dramatic for her question.

“Are you gonna pout the whole trip” Joel says sighing dramatically, almost to mock her. “Shut up!” Ellie sorta chuckles and hits his shoulder lightly. A mini “Fuck off” in her mind.

She knew she was being a tiny bit dramatic, but it was justifiable after what you did?

Ellie’s arms grab onto the last bag before lunging the bag into the main room. Quickly sitting down on the couch, shoes kicking up on the stone coffee table. Her eyes watch intently as Joel lightly taps his foot against the wood, clearly thinking about something.

“Sleeping arrangements?” He questions before looking at Ellie, continuing his sentence. “We got three bedrooms- one for me, her father, and you know-“ He pauses momentarily, trying to think of the right words before turning his attention to look back at Ellie. “All i’m saying is that…i’m guessing your not to fond of sharin’ a bed? Seeing as what happened last time.” Joel hums out the last part, he wasn’t doing it to be malicious, when he said it, it was a genuine regard.

But then again he’s definitely trying to act like those words weren’t a big deal. They still had Ellie’s cheeks take on a pink tint.

She not stupid and gets what he meant when he referred to “last time” she lied in bed with you, sleepily rubbing her thumb against your exposed hip wasn’t something she wanted to repeat. The embarrassment was the worst part of it.

“What- no, I’ll just take the couch.” Ellie says before all her attention is turned to the door, the creek of it opening slowly drawing her attention, eyes glued to watch the two figures that step inside the doorway.

As soon as you make it inside the house your eyes are right on the green ones. Ellie’s eyes straight back on you, scared to look away.

But she does, because they’re quickly peeled from you first, embarrassed that you weren’t in the door for more than 10 seconds before she was looking. Ellie was trying not to stare at you, especially when she doesn’t even know if you two are considered friends anymore.

The shitty part for her is that she wanted to look at you, because like always, you’re always the one that draws her eyes. Attention unable to focus on anything else, she hated that. And she wanted to somehow convince herself you don’t even matter anymore..because it seemed like she didn’t matter to you? So why would she give you attention you didn’t deserve.

“Hey!” Joel smiles grabbing your father by the shoulder, other arm hitting his back. It unfortunately left more time to dawn on the fact you and Ellie haven’t talked since you walked through that door. “Drive down here alright?” Joel questions.

“Oh yeah?” Your dad smiles pulling back and dropping the both your bags around the front door. “How have you been hiding this from be Miller?” Your dad chuckles and walks forward getting a better view of the place.

Your eyes are STICKING to the ground, physically unable to peel them away. You didn’t want to look up and see Ellie looking at you. Or see she isn’t even paying any attention towards you, which in some weird way would be worse?

“Hiding, that’s crazy talk!” Joel laughs pulling your dad into the kitchen. “Come let me show you the kitchen.” Joel’s little laugh disappearing into the kitchen.

Your immediate guess is that they’re both getting a drink, nice way to start off the day. And you can’t help but wish you could be in there always taking a shot.

But no, because unfortunately for you it creates a shitty situation that left you and Ellie alone in the living room, the sound of both your dads talking in the separate room making some background noise.

You’re not sure if you should talk, or let the silence just sit. But your voice just pushed out, making it feel like you had almost no control. “Hey..” You sigh looking up at her eyes, which are still resting on your face. “How’s your nose?” You ask genuinely, quickly taking notice in the bandages that rest on it.

Ellie’s eyes flash with something you can’t exactly recognize, reason being because it changes in the matter of a few seconds, now representing anger. “Don’t fucking say ‘Hey’ to me man” Ellie scoffs and stands up. It was harsh, and it sure as hell came out as that. “Just fuck off.” Ellie says.

It was clear then, things 100% were not going back to how they were before, Ellie seems so angry at you, and you know it’s your fault..but unsurprisingly you don’t know how to fix it..

Ellie stands up trailing right into the kitchen, she cringed at her own fucking words, she’s never that mean. But they slipped out, fully accidental. Maybe it would give you the sign that she didn’t feel like talking. That’s what she’s convincing herself at least.

Because Ellie’s a fond believer that not talking about it will somehow resolve what’s going on with you two, she just doesn’t want to have a weird heart to heart conversation, she herself isn’t ready for.

Ellie hears the last bit of Joel’s sentence once she enters the kitchen. “Oh yeah, Ellie can take her down to it-“ Joel stops once he’s met with the face of his daughter. A frown portraying her lips as she hears her name.

Joel wasn’t trying to play cupid. He just knows that his daughter has lacked friends for way too long, and he knows high school was insanely rough for her. Ellie’s only 19 and she’s gone through the loss of so many friends, he was so happy to see that she was bonding with you. Seeing his daughters bright smile, that actually seemed real was a feeling he didn’t want to pass up.

And plus, Ellie has a habit of not seeing things through, when it gets too much she pulls back. So when your father talked people going down to the lake and having a bonfire, Joel confirmed and offered Ellie to take you.

Ellie just wasn’t aware about all that…yet!

You don’t walk in to long after her, once Ellie left you in a silent room you quickly got uncomfortable standing in a place which wasn’t even yours? So you trailed right after her figure, following so now everyone’s in the kitchen.

“Huh?” You ask also hearing the ‘Ellie can take her’ causing more anxiety.

“Joel was just tellin’ me that some folks go down by the lake for a bonfire” He smiles looking at you. Your dad sees as no smile, or even happy emotions appear so he adds on a little “People your age!” He smiles and looks at both you and Ellie. His little add on did nothing, because he watched how neither one of your faces contorted into something that seemed joyful.

“What the fuck?” Ellie says a bit too loud, Everyone’s attention being turned to face her. Regardless of those words being directed at Joel.

Ellie was mad because Joel knew what the fuck happened, she thought it was clear that she was done with you. And vice versa. Yet he’s here saying that it’ll be a “fun” idea for the both you to go down to the lake.

“Ellie watch your languag-“ Joel starts before you voice shines through. “No seriously it’s okay- we don’t gotta go..” You say looking at the auburn hair girl.

Ellie’s eyes are steered far away from yours, not wanting to see you talk to her. Knowing that she’ll probably fold eventually.

Joel shakes his head as soon as you say those words. “No-no, trust me, this kid will stay in all night. Plus you don’t want to be around two drunk old men?” He chuckles looking at the two of you. “Do ya?” He continues, smiling. Joel’s hand on your dad’s shoulder as they down drinks.

He was right, you didn’t want to be around two drunk middle aged men, but you didn’t want to be stuck with Ellie, not after everything that happened, she obviously fucking hates you now? You’ve dug this hole far too deep.

But you knew Joel, nor your dad would stop the pushing.

And if you did stay you’d have to deal with their annoying behaviour.

So you just look down and nod, turning your gaze to see Ellie, she looks just as defeated as you.

So soon enough there’s a sigh falling from both your lips.

You didn’t really have a choice..

You and Ellie headed out as soon as the sun was down, and since it was still summer it did take a bit.

So now it was late at night, and the sounds distant sound of birds chirping and crickets ringing made just a bit of noise for the silence to be to obvious.

On the bright side walk was short. You and Ellie walked beside each other but it was odd. Because she didn’t talk and neither did you, both unsure at how you’ll continue after this point. And to be completely honest, you’re not really looking for Ellie to swear at you once again. It was starting to get old real quick.

It felt so weird hearing her be cold towards you. Considering the only Ellie you knew was the sweet one. The one who opened your door for you, laid on your bedroom floor watching on your shoulder as you read. That Ellie. And even though you had no say, and it was honestly selfish after what you did, you did miss that version of her.

It just felt like a whole personally swap.

This Ellie is so distance, and now that you’re both forced in a close proximity it honestly doesn’t make it better. So you just decided to force words out of your throat.

“You mad at me?” You question turning to look at her, her hands are stuffed in her jean pockets, eyes glued to the rocky ground as her legs drag, a causing the rocks to be kicked forward, you can’t even read Ellie’s features because she has a baseball cap covering them.

All Ellie does is hum out a “No.” Trying to avoid more conflict. She didn’t even enjoy being a dick to you, she just assumed you’d stop pushing by now, she even thought being this mean might feel good? To get out some pent up resentment she’s built up since that morning.

“Okay…” You look down following her trail. Trying to find your voice once again. “Ellie I wasn’t trying to lead you on..?” You spit out.

You didn’t actually know if Ellie was like that..you never had confirmation. It’s just that night so much shit went down, the insults from Jack, and the other people that attended the party. There was an undoubtable pattern, and that’s not even mentioning the morning after.

You literally agreeing with Jacks words, earning the reaction it got from Ellie. It seemed almost clear that all the stuff you heard was probably true. But you didn’t want to find out if she was like that, that would change so much? Too much.

So you saying you weren’t trying to lead her on feels like a cover. A partial apology for cuddling with her all night and giving signs that you guys weren’t just platonic friends. Like you had some weird crush on her, it just made everything so messy.

Your words only gets Ellie to chuckle. “You think so highly of yourself- it’s fucking exhausting” Ellie scoffs out before walking down finally reaching the starting bonfire. The crowds of people growing. Either way you’re still right beside her, searching for her eyes that refuse to meet yours.

Mainly because what she said next, she knew that if you saw her eyes you’d see through it.

“I didn’t- I don’t fucking like you. I haven’t fucking liked you” Ellie spits out looking straight at you. Her words always choosing to fail her.

Her words leave you shocked. Pink growing on your cheeks, embarrassed, maybe even ashamed. You just felt fucking stupid.

Even though you couldn’t see Ellie’s eyes straight on you noticed a burn in despite them portraying a forest green, there was burning the more she thought about you, thought about what happened, it made her mad.

But in Ellie’s mind it was a constant back in forth of how stupid she must have been, to think that maybe you felt something. It’s not like she was mad at you.

She was mad at herself for believing that maybe you did feel something. Something for her.

Once you’ve made actually made it down the mini hill entirely you’re met with a bunch of people, they seemed around your age, just like your dad mentioned. They already seemed to have heavy amounts of liquor in their system.

Ellie seemed to discard away from you as soon as you both made it down the hill. So you’re alone, with a shit tom of people you don’t even know?

You didn’t have a plan to drink tonight, you honestly didn’t know what to do, Ellie seems to hate you. You don’t particularly have anyone else, and theres a looming coldness is travelling through your body. You just didn’t know what the fuck do anymore.

“Hey there!” A guy yells from the bonfire, his figure now moving closer towards you.

He brings his finger up to point at you, his brown eyes studying your features “You know what? I haven’t seen you at a bonfire before? You new?” He questions looking you up in down, fully taking in your appearance.

You are nodding your head like an idiot, cheeks turning a light pink out of embarrassment. “Uh..yeah!” You pause for a few seconds getting a good look around before you spot Ellie, she’s sitting a couple feet away from the bonfire, just watching the fire rather than paying attention to the drunk teens and early 20 year olds that surround the place. “I’m with her-“ You say moving your hand to point towards Ellie’s figure.

He nods slowly, looking at Ellie then back at you. “Shit Williams?” He sorta chuckles, his tone implying that he knew something, you just weren’t sure what. “She’s a bit strange, no?” He questions tilting his head, brown eyes meeting yours.

But before you could even answer he talks once more, finally confirming what you only knew as a speculation. “Everyone knows she’s like some lesbo? I mean it’s truly no secret. She waltz around dressed like a fucking man?” He laughs softly excepting a laugh from you to arise, but when it doesn’t he then looks at you, a slight tint of nervousness. “You two aren’t dating right?” He takes a cautious step back from you.

You felt yourself tense up at the guys words, because hearing it first hand, having someone purposefully tell you, almost warn you? It felt weird. You weren’t even sure what to reply with. Then remembering you blanked on the question at hand. Were you and Ellie a fucking thing?

“No!” You spit out, it sounded so defensive, like you would hate for someone to even question that. To loop you and Ellie together, picturing you as some sort of couple.

“No..gross” You say tilting your gaze down, embarrassed at how you could say that, especially to the girl you’ve just spent the whole first half of summer with. The girl who you still much rather be around as of now.

A smile appears on his face, taking the confirmation that you and Ellie were nothing that fell along the lines of a couple. He quickly extends his hand towards you. “I’m Liam” He smiles looking at you waiting for your hand to reach his, ready to hear your name in return.

And that’s what you did, you told Liam your name shaking his hand lightly. His gaze didn’t leave yours once. He was a little taller than you, he had blonde hair and brown eyes.

“Wanna get a drink?” He ask moving his body closer towards you. Hand snaking to your shoulder.

You nod, words unable to leave your mouth. You honestly don’t even know what’s wrong with you, you don’t want to be with Liam right now, but it’s not like you can just leave..

You don’t even know what you’re doing, you want to be with Ellie, but you don’t want to be perceived as her girlfriend or something.

You didn’t understand what to do.

————

You drank, and drank, and drank. Drowning whatever feelings you were having with the burn of alcohol dripping down your throat. It was shot after shot, and drink after drink.

You didn’t even know where Ellie was anymore.

All you had next to your side was Liam, his uncomfortable grip on your waist making sure neither of you can get away from each other.

His brown eyes never peeling from yours as he talked about his boring interest, you’d swear if he wasn’t so focused on himself he would noticed the fact you stopped caring a long time ago.

The worst part about it is that Liam was clearly flirting with you the whole night, and unfortunately so were you.

Despite not wanting to.

You played into his game, distracting yourself from the girl you’re undoubtedly missing right now. And the fact it got easier the more you drank made this whole situation a bit more risky. Because if drinking is the only way to get your mind off Ellie, you didn’t know what to do.

Your whole life felt like it was switching, turning over and you had no control? You didn’t even know if you liked girls..liked Ellie? It made no sense.

You were never the boy crazy type while compared to your friends back home, but you were never “girl crazy”. And truthfully besides Ellie you couldn’t recall a time where a friendship seemed like it was leaning into more. It made this whole process that much worse.

You didn’t want to like Ellie, you didn’t even think you liked Ellie! All you knew was that you would rather be with her, have her talk to you, hear her voice.

Just- shit that friends would do. Thats all you wanted to be with her.

Friends!

The more Liam leaned into you, the more he flirted and you flirted back you couldn’t take it. It felt like walls were closing in on you and you had zero control over them.

Liam’s hand reaches that little sliver between your shorts and t shirt, touching the exposed skin. “My cabins like a two minute walk. You wanna go.” He ask pulling back to look at you.

Finally you catch sights of eyes on you, green ones.

Her gaze is focused on Liam’s hand, not realizing your watching yet, you noticed how Ellie’s teeth is tugged in her bottom lip. Watching this weird moment with Liam as it plays out.

Even though you didn’t really notice it Ellie was paying attention to you almost the whole night.

Ellie tried to convince herself this whole thing with you would blow over. Like she’d be able to forget about you so fucking easily, but she was so quickly proven wrong. Because it never took long for her thoughts to dawn on the night in your bedroom.

Or the way you held her face with care when her nose was bleeding..she felt like she couldn’t forget about that. And she hated herself for that reason.

She watched Liam approach you early into that night, Ellie knew that Liam is one of Jacks close friends so she obviously wasn’t too fond of him. She saw the way he wrapped his arms around you, and the way you complied, the way he would lean into you the more drunk the both of you got, how you would laugh at something he said.

It made it worse that Ellie knew one thousand percent it was probably something stupid, but guys like Liam and Jack have some charm on girls she can’t seem to understand.

she hated it. Hated how Liam was gaining your attention, taking up every single minute your down by the bonfire. It’s selfish because Ellie knows, say she had the chance to talk to you tonight she’d most likely avoid it. And not to mention Ellie’s convinced you hate her.

And for that reason she felt like she didn’t exactly have a say.

All she knew is that you were extremely drunk, it was late and you guys definitely had to be home soon enough.

At least that was her excuse for what she was about to do.

Because in no time Ellie’s sticking her drink somewhere in the sand so it stands up, her feet are dragging themselves and she’s travelling right over to you and Liam.

You saw Ellie walking over and her eyes didn’t leave Liam’s face. Not even once. You prayers were answered, someone was interrupting, even if that person was Ellie so be it.

She was so focused on the brown eyed guy that had his arm looped right around you the whole night, pulling you closer and closer into him. Ellie just now she feels like whatever she’s doing is justified to get Liam away from you.

“We gotta leave.” Ellie faces you. Hoping that you’ll just follow along, try to ignore the fact she was being such a fucking dick to you the whole night.

Liam leans into you a bit, his grip on your waist tightening a little, he tilts his head and looks at Ellie, observing her appearance from the shoes all the way to her head. He just lets out a dry chuckle. There was nothing funny, he was just being a dick.

“How’s the nose Ellie?” Liam questions with a smug smirk, Liam was just like Jack, one of the popular boys who peaked in high school. And even though that’s the case, they still torment Ellie like they did in high school. Laughing at her like she’s some circus freak.

He then looks at you and smiles. “She’s such a fucking loser.” He says with no hesitation, the way it slipped off his tongue with ease made it so fucking clear this isn’t the first time he’s said these things to her, it made you feel sick.

You don’t react to what Liam said, you just look at over towards Ellie, you see as her eyes shift back and forth from you and Liam then down to the ground. A genuine frown appears on her lips.

You wanted to understand how you could go from spending every moment of summer together to whatever the fuck this was. Watching someone belittle her with ease as you sit on the sidelines.

Ellie’s always tried to trick herself into believing the stuff people said really didn’t bother her, trying to laugh it off, or try not to take it serious since they were just stupid comments from people who clearly weren’t mature, but there was something about having multiple people degrading you constantly for the simple fact of being yourself.

That constant feeling of rejection starts to build up over time, and even though she didn’t show it, it did hurt…A lot.

Ellie starts to realize maybe there’s no point, she’s over this whole situation, the conversation, the fact that you didn’t even think to defend her. You just watched, so Ellie steps back. She’s gotta go home. With or without you..

Your eyes are peeling towards Ellie and the fact she’s now backing away, you look at Liam then back at her. Liam still has some triumph smile on his face, expressing that he “won” or something.

“I’m gonna go..” You sigh out and tilt your head and give Liam a polite smile. “Thank you for tonight.” You add on, trying to be nice, regardless of the way he talked about Ellie, and the way he talked to her. Telling her awful shit even to her face?

You then look at Ellie, her eyebrows are still furrowed and she’s not even looking at you, it seems like she didn’t even pick up what you said because there was no distinct reaction. She’s just looking down lost in thought.

You tap her shoulder trying to snap her out of this weird state she’s in, it works, Ellies eyes turn to yours, they’re glazed over and her eyebrows are still furrowed. “Let’s go..?” You question looking at Ellie.

She doesn’t respond, Ellie just starts to walk up the tiny hill leading away from the bonfire and the people. Ellie’s not talking, not looking at you, she seems so out of it, like nothing that’s happening right now is even processing to her. She even started walking without waiting for you. This seems so much more than the usual spite she seemed to have for you. Because you can tell that’s she’s just expressing hurt. Not even anger.

“Ellie just wait up..!” You say trying to catch up to her, her legs still moving fast enough to the point where she’s speed walking. “I’m sorry about Liam- he’s such a- a prick.” You sigh out looking at her. It seems like the first actual full sentence you’ve got out without her coming back quickly with swear words. But she doesn’t say anything, she just keeps walking.

Ellie didn’t understand why someone like you would give attention to someone like Liam, but he’s also the one who had his arm around you the whole night, Ellie wonders if she’d would be able to grab your attention if she was a guy..

Is really that feeling, the one that is starting to feel so fucking overwhelming.

“Ellie wait up!” You grab her shoulder forcefully, excepting her turn around, or for her to even acknowledge your presence. “Can we just talk?” You sigh out, tired of whatever is happening between you two. “Please?” You add on.

Ellie just shakes her head silently not turning around to face you, leaving you faced with her back.

You move your legs to finally get a good view of her, each step is heavier then the last one, the moons dim light making this even more dramatic in your opinion.

Even though it was dark it was no secret Ellie’s eyes were rimmed red and her chest is pounding up and down.

You see how her eyes are doing everything in their power to avoid yours. Her teeth are tugged in her bottom lip and you look down noticing how her hands are shaking. You didn’t understand what was happening, you’ve never seen someone look like they’re portraying a full factory reset in person. So now you’re scared? You don’t even know if she’s okay.

“Hey- are you okay” You say in a scared-ish tone, still looking at Ellie. She doesn’t respond just shakes her head no fast, you could run back down to the bonfire and grab someone for help but Ellie takes notice you seemed to be panicked and quickly managed to spit out “I just need- need to calm down” She says looking at you.

You could probably calm her down, seeing as that’s all she’s needs to happen. You nod slowly and step forward, arms thinking before your brain could process and ending up around Ellie.

Ellie’s arms hesitate to wrap around your body, being nervous considering this is the first time you’ve both even touched each other after the whole “incident” happened.

She still leaned into the hug, her breath starting to calm down and heart starting to pace itself. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, she was just glad that since you were hugging her you couldn’t see the embarrassing state she was in.

“Breath..” You sigh holding onto Ellie, your grip entails that you might have needed this hug just as much as her.

Ellie nods slowly and keeps her head on your shoulder. To be fair not sure what pushed her to say her next sentence, because all it did was embarrass her further. “Are we even still friends?..” Ellie says her grip loosing around your body.

You’ve known Ellie for a month. And as ridiculous as it sounded, right now she seems like the most priceless thing that you refuse to lose out of pure stupidity?

“Of course..” You tighten your arms around her, making up for the looseness she caused.

“Are you mad at me?” Ellie ask, head still laying on your shoulder.

It was a crazy difference from that morning and now. Because as much as you both seemed okay with loosing each other neither of you are willing to let go now.

“No.” You say, confidence radiating from your tone and look. Because you meant it, you weren’t mad at Ellie for anything that went down that night. You were drunk, all the both of you did was cuddle, and it could’ve meant nothing. You were still convinced it meant nothing, because you weren’t ready to accept that it meant more. Even though deep down those feelings were starting to bubble.

“You mad at me.?” You question arms still around her.

“No.” Ellie sighs out, she wasn’t mad at you. But she’s always starting to realize you’re definitely not good for her, she’s never consistently cried over the same person. Let alone ever let feelings ever get this intense for one person.

And unfortunately she’s having a hard time separating the fact you’re one of her best friends, and the same girl she’s starting to fall for. She’s not even sure when those became the same thing. All she knows that if she can’t separate those things then this friendship won’t work.

But she also doesn’t know how to pull back from you.

“Okay..” You nod slowly.

“I don’t know why I freaked out..” You add.

The worse part is, you definitely did know why you freaked.

You just weren’t ready to admit that reason, you weren’t ready to admit that you let your insecurities outweigh you and target Ellie, that being in yelling form of course.

Not ready to admit that you might just have feelings for a girl.

It was making you nauseous.

“I shouldn’t have” You pause then talk. “Freaked out.” You clarify, you and Ellie still hugging. Which is becoming excessive because Ellie’s breathing is normal and tears are no longer flowing. “I just thought maybe you thought I-“ You start.

Ellie was quick to cut your words off, not wanting to hear you say “maybe you thought I liked you”. She knows that’ll hurt a lot more then the situation itself.

“I don’t.” Ellie sighs, and pulls back from the hug, realizing that she’s starting to take it as not a friendly thing, like her mind was tricking her that you liked her or something? Everything was turning so confusing. “And plus I was a dick too.” Ellie says, each word felt so fucking heavy. Like her chest was weighing down on her.

“Can we please just- forget about it..” You sigh looking at her, realizing that could have two meanings. “The fight” You clarify, you don’t even want to admit to Ellie you remember that night in your bedroom. Embarrassed even thinking back to in. Unsure of why you did the things you did.

“Yeah.” Ellie nods far too quickly, willing to drop everything just to feel like she has you back, but she knows it’ll probably be different.

“I don’t want us to not talk because of the fight.” You both knew that if you two were to stop talking it wouldn’t be because of a fight. It would probably be another “friendly” mistake that would give you the same outcome as this, just way worse.

“You’re like my best friend” You say looking at her, you said it with the intent of emphasizing on the friend part, hoping it will convince the both of you that’s all you are..

All you wanted to be with Ellie was just friends.

“You’re mine too.” Ellie says looking you up and down.

It’s clear now.

You’re just friends.

A/N -> THEE END!

Jk, I honestly planned for two parts on this fic (originally) but now it mayyy become a slow burn 🌚

idek yet because when I tell you i’m so busy this summer it’s actually kinda concerning, like Istg I have one free week and i’m still on vacation as I’m writing this.

IM SO SORRY it took so long btw, i feel like i need to be be cancelled after telling everyone it’s gonna take 2 weeks 😭 (it came out after a month, what the actualll hell)

but the next part i promise i’ll try my best to get it out really fast! Like two weeks will be the goal, I hope you liked this part because I tried to make it a bit longer as a little apology. tyty for reading and I hope you enjoyed.

(Like and reblogs are alwaysss appreciated 😘😘)

taglist : @diddiqueen @bready101 @mcqueeferson (couldn’t tag a few people 🫤)

[vettelsdarling]

𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

Lissie note… Here’s the winner of the poll (winner of this season as well)! Anyways, so sorry for my absence… hope this makes up for it❤️

Summary: Reader used to date George, as they’d been friends since birth. However, she takes a liking to someone he considers an enemy on the track: Max Verstappen. They do say revenge is best served cold… and who is colder than the star of Red Bull himself?

Things to note:

Reader is a year younger than Max (same age as George)

Reader made her break in Tennis

George and Reader are not on good terms (he cheated) (this is not a jab at George btw. My fav team is literally Mercedes)

The whole deal is pretty “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”.

Some of the fc is Emma Raducanu (my fav tennis player❤️)

Pairing: Max Verstappen x George’s ex gf!Fem!Reader

Warnings: none really

Taglist: @drugged-kitkat, @darleneslane, @allwaysallyway

Playlist Recommendations: 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟💗, 𝐌𝐕𝟏

yourusername

Liked by francisca.cgomes, charlottesiine, landonorris and 345,288 others

yourusername Stressful training all week. Ready to show off this weekend!🔥

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charlottesiine Yess! I’ll be watching! Btw, was he any good at tennis?

yourusername He wishes he was me. Should stick to racing.

user1 guys… the third pic…🧍‍♀️

user2 Didn’t George and her split like a few months ago?

user3 New guy? Who’s this🤨

user4 Her brother maybe?

user5 @ user4 Nah, did you see the comment Cha posted and the response to it? That’s def a new guy

user6 @ user5 it’s someone on the grid

user7 Ughhh I can’t wait for this weekend😩👏

user8 Is this the sound of my parasocial relationship crackling?

user9 WHO IS THAT?

user10 Ten bucks it’s Charles

user11 I’ll take that action. Ten it’s Lando

sportsgossip

26,468 likes

sportsgossip someone spotted a certain tennis player with a certain Red Bull driver… anonymous tip! Seems like someone is over George already…

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user1 Wtf WHEN WAS THIS?

user2 Her recent post…😭

user3 MAX? WHAT😃

user4 I kinda love that omg

maxverstappen1

Liked by yourusername, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 668,378 others

maxverstappen1 Just appreciating the view❤️

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yourusername Conveniently free this weekend

Liked by maxverstappen1

landonorris I’m living for this shade

Liked by maxverstappen1

user1 George is absolutely shitting himself rn I just know

user2 She traded a rookie for a world champion

user3 I respect it

user4 I love that Max is subtly hinting that George didn’t appreciate her as much as he does😭

user5 It’s honestly kinda cute

user6 Shade aside, it really is

user7 George is missing out

user8 Okay but she is GORGEOUS

user9 Can someone give some background info? Why did she and George break up?

user10 Allegedly, George cheated on her with someone he met at a post-race party. She got an anonymous tip about it and they couldn’t seem to work things out I guess… but yeah. Everything is alleged.

user9 Oh okay thanks that’s helpful

yourusername

Liked by charlottesiine, francisca.cgomes, maxverstappen1 and 573,266 others

yourusername This week was just 🤍🤍🤍

Tagged: charlottesiine

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charlottesiine Must do this again🤍

yourusername Agreed🤍

francisca.cgomes Where was I in this🤨

Liked by yourusername

user1 Okay but these two are literally the best friend dynamic ever.

user2 Two pretty best friends… could never be us @ randomuser

user3 I’m genuinely so confused by her relationship status rn but the fact that her and Cha are still friends??? LOVE IT

user4 Here’s me wishing I was a wag or whatever…🧍‍♀️

user5 Relatable

user6 Can’t wait for her to post pics with Max👏

user7 I mean… it isn’t official though. Is it?

user8 I don’t think she will do that unless she also confirms her relationship with him

user6 @ user8 Max already posted her…

user9 I just know she’s friendly

user10 She is! I went to one of her opens and she signed my card of her and gave me a hug. She even offered to stay around for pictures and stuff.

wagsf1

12,289 likes

wagsf1 @ yourusername and @ maxverstappen after his race win🌸

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user1 I’m seriously just wondering HOW George is feeling about all this

user2 Whatever he feels abt it… he deserves it.

user3 George is probably crying in the garage

user4 They’re so cute though😭❤️

user5 They’re my new fav couple on the grid.

maxverstappen1

Liked by yourusername, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 637,389 others

maxverstappen1 I don’t think I could’ve been luckier than this❤️

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yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

Liked by maxverstappen1

user1 I’m happy she broke things off with George cause this is just so cute

user2 Maybe don’t bring it up in Max’s comments💀💀

user3 I love how he’s acting like they’ve been dating for years😭

user4 I mean… he has EVERY right to

user5 This is what I mean when I say I want to date

user6 Ik they recently started dating but I just know they’re going to last

user7 Max is so dedicated like wtaf😭 We did not see this from George

user8 We really didn’t💀

user9Max talked about her in the most recent post-race interview😭❤️

user10 This relationship is going to set unrealistic standards for me😭😭😭

yourusername

Liked by maxverstappen1, charlottesiine, francisca.cgomes and 738,267 others

yourusername Another win added to my collection🎾🔥 Kind of like you @ maxverstappen1

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charlottesiine I should have seen it live! You were amazing🤍

yourusername ugh I love you

user1 YESSS👏

user2 She’s an icon

user3 Fav wag and fav tennis player

user4 George is MISSING OUTTTT

user5 Wimbledon win upcoming🔥

user6 Manifesting it🙏

user7 Her and Max stacking up wins is a new form of couple goals I haven’t seen before. I love it.

user8 Literally

user9 She’s so pretty❤️

user10 Max is lucky

maxverstappen1 posted a new story

yourusername posted a new story

maxverstappen1

Liked by yourusername, landonorris, christianhorner and 587,399 others

maxverstappen1 Taking a break from reality❤️

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yourusername ❤️

landonorris Now I know who you’ve been ditching me for

yourusername know your place

landonorris @ yourusername 🤨🤨🤨

user1 So it’s official then

user2 I don’t know who I’d rather be😩

user3 We never saw this content with George🤡

user4 Max and her are the definition of a perfect couple omfg

user5 They’re so cute wtf

yourusername

Liked by maxverstappen1, charlottesiine, lilymhe and 573,295 others

yourusername Should I start curling my hair more often?✨

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charlottesiine You’re already gorgeous but that hair is so cute🥰

Liked by yourusername

maxverstappen1 You’re beautiful no matter what you do with your hair❤️

Liked by yourusername

user1 FABULOUS YET AGAIN😮‍💨

user2 I would leave my current relationship for her

user3 She’s so Lana coded and I love it

user4 She’s just so tennis coded and old money and I’m in loveeee

user5 The fact that SHE was cheated on?🧍‍♀️

user6 Puts things into perspective

user7 I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter how pretty you are anymore😭💀

user8 I’m literally buying tickets to her next game so I can shove marriage papers in her face

user9 I’ll beat you to it

user10 Why Max… why not me😐

𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻…

𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩! (𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙤𝙣, 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨, 𝙙𝙢𝙨, 𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙨: 𝙒𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧(𝙨) 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚(𝙨) 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣.)

[peachhcs]

semester recap → social media post

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

in light of me going through writing slump where i hate everything i write, i’ve complied a 3rd semester recap from everyone for you guys while i work through my writers slump 😇 enjoy!

au masterlist

samyhughes i love you michigan #3

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hannahduke YOURE SO UNREAL WOW

hannahduke CAN I BE YOU?

hannahduke love my roomie can’t wait for 5 more with you

| samyhughes I LOVE YOU HAN MWAH MWAH UR SO AMAZING AND I CANT WAIT TO LIVE WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

user1 wowwowowow

user2 every time she posts it gets better and better

lhughes_06 i almost liked this post.

| samyhughes what does that mean??

| lhughes_06 pic 4 🤨

| samyhughes you police me like a mom

| lhughes_06 and who else is supposed to make sure their little sister is posting appropriate instagram photos?

user3 she’s so gorg omg😫😫

user4 i wanna be her so bad

edwards.73 one more semester left😓

| samyhughes do not say that to me rn

markestapa what a great semester with baby hughes

| samyhughes such a fun semester with mark!

jackhughes i agree with luke i don’t like this post 🤨

| samyhughes can i liveee pls

user5 jack and luke being protective are so cute omg

user6 HAHA her and her brothers arguing in the comments

nick_moldenhauer fire semester

| samyhughes thanks for paying for my lunch everyday 😇

tyler___duke5 ew my sister made front cover

| hannahduke die

tj_hughes13 meow

| samyhughes meow

_quinnhughes wow you post a lot lowk

| samyhughes and you never post lowk

kayleighdocherty_ my babyyy you’re so cutie

| samyhughes so when are we going to cali together 😍

rutgermcgroarty every time u post i miss michigan more

| samyhughes come back pls

julianne_gelinas HOTTT STUNNING BEAUTIFUL AMAZING

| samyhughes MY BABY I MISS U

samanthaminnetian ur actually gorg wow

| samyhughes that’s literally u

danielle_minnetian jaw on the floor when i see u😍

| samyhughes i love u

emmagcooper so gorg samy!

| samyhughes i luvvv u emma

drewf2 omg i beat will to the comments YAS

| samyhughes LMAOOO

user7 what does one have to do to be a part of their friend group?

jacob_fowler24 yay will is in this post! but we can’t see his face 🤨

| samyhughes why does nothing i do ever please any of you

jameshagens_4 yeah you’re pretty cool ig

| samyhughes wow thanks hagens u too ig

aram_minnetian why r u soft launching will like we’ve never seen him before 😭

| samyhughes can u leave me alone 😭

graceccsmith adorable!

| samyhughes i need a reunion grace 😭

teddystiga_ why were we not included in this 🤨

| samyhughes we have no group photos

gabeperreault44 justice for my man😔

| samyhughes bruhhh at least i included him this time

ryan.leno_4 this is so michigan core✨✨

| samyhughes okk?

eklund_72 hey will’s gf!

| samyhughes hey will’s teammate!

thombordeleau_ is this what college feels like?

| samyhughes ok michigan alum

mackcelebrini wow why are there so many comments

| samyhughes honestly idk im running out of replies for everyone

beckettsennecke_ come back to anaheim :(

| samyhughes soon!

_willsmith2 HOW did all of these people beat me to the comments 😭

| samyhughes PLSS i have no idea 😭

_willsmith2 ur so gorg wow i love you

| samyhughes ur making me blush i love you

_willsmith2 fuck u look good

| samyhughes i miss u pretty boy

hannahduke casual 3rd semester post

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samyhughes BAEEEE

samyhughes love love love love love you

| hannahduke I LOVE U MY BAE

nick_moldenhauer hats off to another great semester!

| hannahduke best semester everrr

tyler___duke5 why didn’t u feature me

| hannahduke u said no to all of the pics i sent u :(

alyssa_duke so cute han!!

| hannahduke miss u alyssa come save me from tyler

| tyler___duke5 rude

user1 imagine knowing hannah duke wow

user2 need this kind of friendship

tj_hughes13 aesthetic

| hannahduke thanks tj

ryan.leno_4 this is such a hannah post

| hannahduke is that a bad thing??

| ryan.leno_4 no

julianne_gelinas actually adorable

| hannahduke i love u

aram_minnetian i like the 3rd pic

| hannahduke same i had to take a pic when i saw it

markestapa very casual

| hannahduke i really try

kayleighdocherty_ this is adorable han

| hannahduke 🥰🥰

edwards.73 what will u do without us next year 😔

| hannahduke probably have to keep samy from crying bc u and mark aren’t around anymore

user3 thinking about these people at michigan are like a person away from hannah and samy

emmagcooper love this!!

| hannahduke love u!!

drewf2 r u KKT girl now?

| hannahduke unfortunately no :(

jacob_fowler24 i like the sunglasses in pic 4

| hannahduke thanks fowler 🙌

gabeperreault44 is it casual now?

| hannahduke is emma making u listen to chappell roan?

| emmagcooper yes

_willsmith2 iconic hannah behavior

| hannahduke wow that means a lot coming from u will

jameshagens_4 wait ur kind of cool..

| hannahduke wait..u too..

teddystiga_ this goes hard

| hannahduke why thank u stiga

dylanduke25 wow ur at semester 3 already?? i feel old

| lhughes_06 tell me about it

gabeperreault44 first half of 3🎅

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ryan.leno_4 girlfriend alertttt

ryan.leno_4 damn where's my feature??

| gabeperreault44 sorry leno next time

| gabeperreault44 wait ur literally in pic 3

| ryan.leno_4 omg i didn't see me there

drewf2 i knowww emma picked all of these photos for you

| gabeperreault44 shut up

jacob_fowler24 aww he's so whipped

| samyhughes these comments are sending me

| gabeperreault44 i'm glad one of us finds them amusing 😐

aram_minnetian what a cutie 😍

| gabeperreault44 😍

_willvote good things so far

| gabeperreault44 u got that right

samyhughes wow this is so cutie gabe

| gabeperreault44 thanks samy!

user1 aww him and emma are so adorable

user2 i love this man sm

jameshagens_4 glad i made the cut

| gabeperrreault44 of course ❤️

teddystiga_ who knew u could be so aesthetic gp

| gabeperreault44 trying something new

michaelhagens_11 what a softie

| gabeperreault44 😔 why do i get shamed for posting my gf but will doesn't?

| _willsmith2 heyy don't bring me into this i already get enough from the guys

user3 anyone who hates this man will have to through me first

user4 men who post their gfs >>>

_willsmith2 good stuff gabo i miss u man

| gabeperreault44 miss u too smitty come back to boston

zeevbuium28 wow never took u for such a softie gp

| gabeperreault44 i have many sides

hannahduke wow emma u trained him so well

| emmagcooper i know 🤗

julianne_gelinas wait the ones with u and em are so cute

| gabeperreault44 thanks juli!

samanthaminnetian wow he's all grown up now

| gabeperreault44 🥲🥲

danielle_minnetian y'all are adorable aww

| gabeperreault44 🤗

emmagcooper i love you!!

| gabeperreault44 i love you more!

rutgermcgroarty looking good gp

| gabeperreault44 thanks rut hope pitt's been good to u

liliane_perreault so cutie g

| gabeperreault44 thanks lili i miss u

ryan.leno_4 that's all folks

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julianne_gelinas wow! i made front post for the first time in forever!

| ryan.leno_4 stoppp

julianne_gelinas i love u

| ryan.leno_4 i love u more

gabeperreault44 ok u stole my photo

| ryan.leno_4 i did not

user1 wow these hockey boys could not compare to the hockey boys by me 😭

user2 frrr who made these hockey boys so loving and willing to post their gfs??

drewf2 sickkkk stuff

| ryan.leno_4 frrr

_willvote year 2 cooking

| ryan.leno_4 facts they have no ideaa what's coming up

jacob_fowler24 glad i made the cut

| ryan.leno_4 u'll always make the cut j 😘

user3 i don't understand the way men respond to comments to one another

user4 the man lingo is crazyyy

_willsmith2 wow now i miss boston after seeing these posts

| ryan.leno_4 boston misses u smitty come home to us

teddystiga_ i guess i need to find a gf to post

| ryan.leno_4 there's plenty in the comments to go after

| user5 LMAOOOO ryan😭

jameshagens_4 gooodddd stuff lean

| ryan.leno_4 thanks hags 😎

michaelhagens_11 living loving laughing boston

| samyhughes this was a good one

samyhughes wow he posts more than hockey!

| ryan.leno_4 shut up

hannahduke i'm impressed with this photo line up

| ryan.leno_4 thanks?

rutgermcgroarty hell yeah lean miss ya

| ryan.leno_4 miss ya rut

emmagcooper i like the football field pic

| julianne_gelinas he took it on my camera LMAO

danielle_minnetian aww christmas pic!

| ryan.leno_4 u know it

samanthaminnetian these gfs for sure know how to train their bfs

| julianne_gelinas it's what we do best but i think samy's trained will the best

| samyhughes wow what a compliment thanks guys!

aram_minnetian how did my sisters beat me here 😭 u look freshhh lean tho

| ryan.leno_4 thanks aram 😍

zeevbuium28 hotttt

| ryan.leno_4 no u 😘

_willsmith2 felt left out of the semester recaps

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user1 awww samy's in his posts like every time

user2 WILLL he's so baby aww

gabeperreault44 samy first post again

gabeperreault44 do u ever not post her??

| _willsmith2 u were complaining about getting flamed and now ur flaming me jeez

| gabeperreault44 what i do best

ryan.leno_4 aww we miss u smitty

| _willsmith2 miss u guys too

drewf2 big things happening in sj

| _willsmith2 u got that right

_willvote what a cute candid of u guys

| _willsmith2 ikr 😊

user3 if samy and will ever break up again i'm never believing in love ever again

user4 i like how he makes sure to include his gf every post

lhughes_06 ok i can get behind this post for once

| _willsmith2 glad it's up to ur standards

jackhughes beastttt

| _willsmith2 👀

rutgermcgroarty fresh prince does it again

| _willsmith2 always working on it

zeevbuium28 wow i feel like i need to post now..

| _willsmith2 peer pressure

jameshagens_4 ur the king of posting gf in posts

| _willsmith2 is that my title now?

michaelhagens_11 hell yeah smitty

| _willsmith2 🔥

drewf2 such a good line

| _willsmith2 missing the bc one tho 🥲

jacob_fowler24 i wanna be u when i grow up

| _willsmith2 i'm flattered

eklund_72 wow i got a feature this time!

| _willsmith2 ofc u did 🥰

thombordeleau_ epic post w-2

| _willsmith2 thanks thomas!

tofff73 good half so far

| _willsmith2 agreed

hannahduke somehow u choose the best photos of samy to post and she doesn’t even need to ask😫

| _willsmith2 well she deserves nothing less

| hannahduke WOW someone find me a man like this

| julianne_gelinas yuppp they won

mackcelebrini so samy can make the cut but not me wow :(

| _wilsmith2 sorry mack :(

beckettsennecke_ wait now i’m jealous of these college posts :(

| _willsmith2 you and me both

samyhughes i love you ur so cute

| _willsmith2 i miss you :( come back to sj

| samyhughes soon!!

[h8ani]

A Gift For You

Pairing: Chifuyu Matsuno x Reader

Anime: Tokyo Revengers

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Nothing really, Emma isn’t really canon in this, Sano!Reader, fluffy cute as shit, her and Emma argue 🤣 lil sister tingz, afab! reader in mind!

A/N - I just wanted to say thank you @kkittycries for proofreading and helping me revise this because I most definitely would’ve trashed this 😭😭

“God, you’re so in love with him.” Emma says before taking a sip of her drink. She watches you stare off with hearts in your eyes beside her as you two sit by Hina at the shrine. Your eyes were zoned in past Mikey and on the vice captain of the first division, Chifuyu. His focus looking up as Mikey speaks aloud to all of Toman, his body straight and center, you could see his hair sway with the crisp fall breeze that came every now and then.

You weren’t listening as Emma spoke to you, barely hearing the giggle Hina let out until she nudged you to get your attention. “Huh- what?” You look at the two girls who were just smiling at you.

“Stop gawking at your boyfriend and listen to me, we need to talk about your party.” Emma says. Your eyes narrow before turning fully to her. “At least I don’t have a Draken shrine in my room.” A gasp leaves her as she sits up, slamming her canned drink on the ground.

“You didn’t!”

“Oh I did.”

The tension rises as you two stare daggers at each other, Hina uncomfortably clears her throat before speaking up. “No family fighting please! The last time you guys fought you two tumbled down the stairs.”

“That was her fault!” You both say in unison while looking at Hina causing her to shrink up at the outburst.

You and Emma were close in age which more than likely reasoned with why you two argued so much. She was a year younger than you and Mikey yet you out of all of the siblings look the most different. You had darker hair like your older brother Shinichiro and you were taller than both of them as well, standing a few inches taller as your siblings were just under you.

Emma and you were very alike aside from constantly bickering and wrestling around from time to time. You both were really sweet, caring about your friends the second you grow that bond, she has a big heart for those she loves and you’re just a bit more reserved. You’d rather like someone from afar while Emma goes and gets what she wants when she wants it.

You sigh and bring your attention back on the blonde boy you were fawning over earlier. You spend most of the nights you come here with Emma and Mikey doing this, staring from afar and not doing anything but thinking of how cute he is. You’ve been introduced to him when you were younger, always knowing all of Mikey’s friends and most of the members in Toman yet you still knew nothing about him. Sometimes you wish you could trade places with Emma, at least she’d know how to catch his attention. “Hey (y/n)?” Hina speaks up, “do you ever talk to Chifuyu?” She asks.

Your thoughts about said blonde were cut short as you feel yourself deflate. “No...” you mumble, tucking your knees against your chest.

“She’s too scared he won’t even know who she is.” Emma teases, “she’s too chicken.”

“Am not!” You whip around, glaring once again at your younger sister who’s snickering to herself. As much as you love her, you want to tackle her down the stairs once again. The bickering between you two never ceases to stop even once the meeting ends and others pass by you sparing glances at you both.

“Just go talk to him!” Emma shouts

“Who does (y/n) want to talk to?” A voice speaks up from behind you, you turn to see your brother walking up the steps of the shrine with Draken following close behind.

Your mouth drops open slightly, how much did he hear? Does he know of the feelings you’ve had? No, he couldn’t. You’ve only told-

“Oh she wants to talk to Ch-” you whip your head around to send another set of daggers at her, a sly smile spreading across her lips before she can finish her sentence. “No one, she doesn’t want to talk to anyone so nevermind.” She smiles up at Mikey, her attention now settling on Draken as she stands up.

Your eyes stay on your sister as Mikey’s stay on you, a smile threatening to form on his face as he says his next words. “I’ll just tell him to go ahead then leave then.” All three of you girls look at Mikey, curious as to who it was.

“What?” Emma asks while glued to Draken’s side.

“Who?” You raise your eyebrows, curious as to who wanted to speak to you.

A small hum came from beside you, Hina’s features riddled with confusion as to everything that’s been happening. Poor girl.

“Chifuyu, he said he wanted to talk to you but I’ll just-”

“Where is he?” You interrupt making Emma snicker and Hina lets out a small gasp. You rise to your feet and look at Mikey who can’t help but let a smile across his face. “He’s waiting by his bike, better go before you’ve made him wait too long.” You’re gone walking down the stairs before Mikey could even finish his sentence, his head follows you as you keep a steady pace trying to walk too fast to the boy who wants to talk to you.

As he watches you a smile stays formed on his face, seeing his 2 minute younger little sister who’s clearly walking like she’s on a mission was heartwarming. You tried to be tough on the outside despite you keeping everything bottled up and being one of the more sensitive siblings; you’re sometimes the spitting image of his older brother and it does something to him. Yes he’s protective over you, that’s what brothers are for, but with the similarities you give he can’t help but give you a push in life and especially in the love department, god knows Shinichiro needed it.

Your thoughts were everywhere as you made your way towards all the bikes, what did Chifuyu want to talk to you about? Why’d he send your brother out of all people? Did he catch you staring at him? No he couldn’t have you would’ve seen him look back at you there’s no way that’s the reason. But what if it is? Someone else could’ve told him and he wants to talk to you and tell you that you’re a creep. You grab onto your fingers anxiously pulling on them as your mind goes in high gear. If you turned back now you could highjack Mikey’s bike and never look back-

“(y/n).” A voice calls out ahead of you. You glance up and see Chifuyu and realize that you made it to all of the bikes. He smiles at you as he’s leaning against his own, his hands tucked away in his pockets, cheeks a light shade of pink, the weather did drop a bit since being out here. God he was just so cute. You were staring again, no words able to leave your lips as you gawk up at the boy in front of you. Embarrassment quickly takes over once you hear him chuckle. “I wanted to give you something.”

“Huh?” The word came out before you meant for it to as you were snapped out of your mindless stares. “I heard it was your birthday.” He speaks again while standing up from his bike and walking closer to you. You blinked standing there dumbfounded as you put two and two together of what he just said. Did he just say a gift?

He pulls his hands out of his pocket and raises a small necklace up in front of you. It’s a small moon pendant with a little green stone in the middle of it. Your eyes widened upon seeing it and he swore he could see the stars in the night sky sparkle in them, a smile graced your lips as you looked closer. The relief he felt once he saw your smile relaxed him a bit. “I know it’s your birthstone but if you don’t like the color then I could always return it-”

“I love it.” You interrupt while clasping your hand over the pendant. “Thank you Chifuyu. I really do love it.”

“Want me to put it on you?” He asks, you look at the necklace and hand it back to him and turn around, pulling your hair to the side so he can clasp it on better.

The necklace hangs perfectly, it’s not too big but not too small either. You turn around and meet his eyes, he smiles seeing you wear his gift.

“So um I’ve been meaning to actually ask you something.” His cheeks deepen in color as he scratches the back of his neck and chuckles. “It’s stupid really and I’m sure whoever told me is just joking.” You tilt your head in confusion but still nodding nevertheless “Do you stare at me like Mikey says?”

Emma is going to only have a sister soon enough.

[snalsupremacy]

Things I got from re-watching the s2 op way too many times

Spoilers for all of s2

ok, so the items inside the claw machine are an unintelligible photo, the pink bear, a Gameboy, and later a gun and a notebook can also be seen. Imma be so real I have no idea what the Gameboy and Notebook mean.

Though it's psychedelic, the liquid pouring out of cheng xiaoshi is def supposed to be blood

I have no idea which scene this photo is referring to. Could it be one of cheng xiaoshi's unseen deaths?

this frame drives me insane. WHY IS LU GUANG SMILING? IS HE SMILING? AM I READING TOO MUCH INTO IT? IT DEFINITELY LOOKS LIKE A SMILE BUT IDK MAYBE IM OVERTHINKING (pun intended)

The pink bear can actually be seen in xixi's hand! And since she was reaching for Cheng Xiaoshi, I can only assume that this op is saying that he and the plushie bear are symbolically the same

which makes this schene the more confusing to me. Is the horse skeleton thing supposed to symbolize death? Is the way it rips out of the plushie bear a way to represent how it is inevitable that cheng xiaoshi will die?

for some reason it took me a million rewatches to realize this giant metal thing is the claw from the claw machine, once again showing that the bear and him are the same

There's a very brief shot in which we can see Emma, Qiao Ling, Lu Guang, and Qian Jin all watching Cheng Xiaoshi fall.

Other stuff I noticed:

In the first half of the op the video is reversed while the song is normal, but once lg and cxs touch the video goes back to normal and the audio reverses. I think this is used to symbolize how they are experiencing time differently

Someone else pointed this out already, but while in the first op they are "diving" back in time, in this one they are straight-up drowning, showing how they lost control

The lyrics are 100% from Lu Guangs POV:

Take back all my regrets And camouflage it like your silhouette

^Lu Guang pretending that he doesn't know cxs is dead

Time is like music Play it 'til the end and then reset

^Lu Guang resetting the timeline every time cxs dies

Knowing it all, am I destined to fall? Like once you did for me

^ Despite knowing what will happen, Lu Guang continues to fail to stop his death

I think everyone noticed this but once Li Tianxi and Li Tianchen's identities are revealed, the hood comes off from the op and their faces are visible. Ops that change midway through to reflect the change in plot>>>>>>>

Conclusion

I'm really not that good in analysis and this op fascinates me just as much as it confuses me. Why is Qiao Ling turning her back on Cheng Xiaoshi's fall?? Why is Lu Guang's face not visible when they try to reach for each other?? What the hell is that notebookk😭what crime scene is in the photo?! So many questions and I genuinely don't know if they are supposed to be un-answered or if I'm just stupid(┬┬﹏┬┬)

Anyway this is my fave op ever. of all animated shows I've seen. and I've watched a lot man. yeah.

[cfyslvr]

Give her a boyfriend

╰┈➤ author's note: Y'ALL my dumbass really uploaded this when it was unfinished 😭 anyways ur girl is back (took me way too long LMAO) and the fic is ACTUALLY finished- I'm so sorry for taking so long to answer it- but anyways !! I hope y'all like this lil piece and I'm open for new requests anytime !! (although please check my intro right here before sending a request, thank you)

╰┈➤ warnings: fluff, a bit ooc (since emma and draken don't like each other romantically in this), change of original story (draken and emma don't get married) + emma and y/n are sisters instead of twins like the person asked (y/n was born in the beginning of the year while emma was born by the end of the year)

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- you knew it was wrong to have a crush on your older brother's best friend

- but could you really be blamed?

- I mean, he's exactly your type !!

- tall, handsome, caring, kind, protective

- he was everything anyone could want in a boyfriend

- and you just couldn't help but fall for him

- and who was the first one to find out about that? well of course, your twin sister, emma

- at first, she was a little reluctant on supporting your feelings, since she knew how weird and wrong it is to like your brother's best friend

- but seeing that your feelings for ken weren't just a simple crush, but something much, much deeper, she couldn't help but find it cute

- just the way you would look at him with hearts in your eyes whenever he passed by

- the way you'd stutter and trip over your own words whenever you talked to him

- the way your cheeks would always heat up whenever he got close to you

- your crush on him was clearer than a drop of water

- although you were convinced he didn't like you back

- sure, he was nice to you

- would help you take care of mikey

- would always do everything in his power to protect you if you were in danger

- would always buy an extra dorayaki when he buys some for mikey cuz he knows you like them too

- but you just figured all of it was because you were his best friend's sister

- he knows how mikey was like after losing shinichiro

- he just didn't want his best friend to go through the pain of losing his family member again, with no strings attached and no further feelings involved.. right?

- WRONG !!

- little did you know

- how his heartbeat always sped up when you smiled at him

- how his hands would always become unnaturally sweaty when you stood close

- how he feels so relaxed yet so nervous as he listens to you ramble about your interests

- how anxiety eats him up from the inside at the thought of you being in any danger

- how many times he's touched you, hugged you, kissed you in his dreams

- it may be wrong to have a crush on your brother's best friend

- but it's even worse having a crush on your best friend's little sister

- that's exactly why he avoided you

- you always thought that it was because your crush on him was too obvious and he didn't feel the same so he didn't want to lead you on

- but nope, it's because he knows you like him

- and he knows he loves you

- but he also can't help but feel wrong for having feelings for you, especially since you're mikey's sister

- mikey may be a bit dumb, but he's definitely not blind.

- he could practically taste the tension in the room whenever you and draken were alone

- at first he thought you two disliked each other

- but then he overheard your conversation with hina over the phone one night

- he was baffled (to say the least) when he heard you say you liked draken

- he just had to confront you about it the next day.

"how long have you liked kenchin?" he asks, walking into the kitchen and catching you washing the dishes. your heart dropped when you heard his question and you nearly dropped a glass.

"I don't know what you're talking about." you said simply, although the lie was so obviously even fucking manjiro could tell.

"I know you think I'm dumb, but it's even more than obvious that you like him." he responded, clearly unamused by the fact you thought you could fool him.

after a few seconds of hesitating, you sighed, turning the faucet off and turning to face your brother. "it's just a small crush it'll go away."

"a small crush that lasted 3 years and still hasn't ‘gone away’?" now he was just mocking you. you gave him a glare and his unserious and teasing face became a bit more serious.

"look, it's not that I have a problem with you liking ken-chin, if I had to choose, I would rather you date him then some dork who wouldn't be able to protect you or would treat you like shit. it's just- I don't want you to be in a relationship with him because I don't want you to get in any more trouble.. I mean, there have been multiple times when you were in danger because you're my sister, imagine how much more danger you'll be surrounded by if you're my sister and ken-chin's girlfriend.." you were surprised when you heard mikey talking like this, he was never really serious around you, so you could immediately tell that the situation had shaken mikey much more than you. you sighed and gave your brother a small smile.

"I know you must be worried, but.. I have so many people protecting me, you, ken, keisuke, mitsuya.. I'm sure I'll be fine." you said, finally admitting you were inlove with draken instead of calling it a ‘small crush’, which it obviously wasn't. mikey seemed reluctant, but eventually gave in, giving you a smile in return before hugging you, something he hasn't done in awhile.

"in that case, let me help you out with ken-chin."

- you regretted saying yes to that idea with every ounce of your body

- emma's helping out was subtle but effective, while mikey's "helping out" was EVERYTHING but subtle

- like if your crust wasn't already obvious, your bitch of a brother made it THAT much more obvious

- my man would literally walk up to draken out of nowhere and ask shit like "if y/n wasn't my sister, would you still be nice to her?"

- at first, draken just brushed it off, but his questions kept getting more and more direct and more and more specific until one day, about a week before your birthday, he decided that it was the perfect time to ask him a question he have been waiting to ask ever since he found out about your feelings.

"hey ken-chin?" mikey mumbled out, his mouth stuffed with dorayaki.

"first off, don't eat with your mouth full." draken scolded, waiting for mikey to swallow before continuing. "what do you want?"

"would you date y/n if she wasn't my sister?" the question hung in the air for more than it should've. draken stared at mikey with wide eyes as the shorter blond kept chewing on his snacks as if what he had asked was just another normal question from him.

"why would you even ask me that?" draken asked, trying to hide the fact the tips of his ears turned red the second he thought of dating you.

"because y/n's birthday is soon."

"..and?" manjiro stayed silent for a few seconds, he didn't really think this conversation throughoutly before actually staring it.

"I wanted to give her the perfect gift.. so, I wanted to give her a boyfriend." even mikey himself was embarrassed after making up such a stupid excuse.

draken stared back at mikey, a rarely seen dumbfounded expression on his face as he tried to process whatever the heck his best friend was talking about, until he eventually responded.

"..would you let me?" he asked, not even looking at mikey as he did so. mikey was not only surprised because of the question, but because he never saw his brother so.. flustered? he definitely had to think about how he would answer that question. it was a good question, would he let his best friend date his sister? sure, draken was a good guy and all, and he knew he would do anything to protect you and make sure you're taken care of..

after awhile of thinking, he came to the conclusion that the only downside of your relationship would be the fact your boyfriend is in a gang, but even though he still isn't your boyfriend, your own brother is not only in a gang, but a gang's leader at that, and you've (almost) never gotten hurt since mikey's closest friends *cough* mostly draken *cough* were always there to protect you..

"would you treat her well?"

"yes." draken answered in an instant, which surprised mikey once again. he was used to ken being the calm and collected one, so seeing him so rushed to answer and so.. eager to gain mikey's permission to date you was definitely a change. after a few more seconds of debating, a smile appeared on mikey's face.

"then let's give y/n the best birthday present she has received so far.

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soon enough, all of toman's finders, including some of your close friends and (of course) emma, knew about mikey's plan for your birthday. mikey had never seen draken look so nervous when he was about to text you, he almost couldn't form a proper sentence that didn't sound stupid, so in the end, mitsuya had to tell him what to write.

"mikey and the guys planned your birthday out for tomorrow and -this location- I'll come get you at 6pm" *send*

you, being yourself and knowing your brother, thought nothing of it, since it definitely sounded like mikey, but you just knew he made draken pick you up on purpose, and to be honest, you weren't that mad about it either.

your birthday finally came up and you put on your prettiest dress on purpose, not only because it was your birthday but because you wanted to look good for him, and just as he said, draken came to your house on his bike at exactly 6pm. you checked yourself in the mirror before walking out with a charming smile on your face.

"you look great." draken said the second you walked out, which surprised you, since you really can't remember the last time he ever complimented you like this.

"thank you.." you mumbled and got onto the motor, reluctantly wrapping your arms around his waist for support. he smiled to himself and drove off.

soon enough you arrived to the location he told you about yesterday, but to your surprise, there was absolutely nobody there, not your brother, your sister, your grandpa, your friends, not a single person draken mentioned in his message yesterday.

"where is everyone?" you ask as both of you get off his bike, he then grabs your hand and starts leading you closer to the river.

"they'll come by later, it's just the two of us now." he said, a small smirk appeared on his face when he saw your flustered expression. on the outside, he looked calm and collected as always, but on the inside, he was nervous, panicking even.

"oh.. alright." you responded and gave him that same charming smile that always secretly made him melt. you were such a sunshine, his sunshine, or atleast.. soon-to-be his. once the two of you reached the river, both of you sat down on the grass next to it, your bodies unnaturally close.. he usually kept his distance with you, but now not only was he sitting close to you, he was so close that both your knees and shoulders were touching.

"I remembered the time you were talking about experiencing that ‘romantic sunset scene’ from a movie or whatever, so I wanted you to experience it on your birthday." he explained, not failing to voice out the "romantic", you remembered the time and your eyes widened, you weren't even talking to him at that time! you were sitting in the living room with emma, watching some romance movie and you mentioned that you would love to experience a romantic sunset moment with draken someone, and she very politely told you to "please shut up" because you sounded stupid to her and, oh well, guess it didn't sound stupid to him.

"which sunset scene? I've watched thousands of movies with a sunset scene." no you didn't. you lied. you only ever watched one sunset scene, and it was–

"where the two main characters have their first kiss." he finished the sentence and turned back at you with a slightly nervous smile, which was something you saw for the first time in years.

"are we the main characters? what, you're gonna kiss me now?" you ask, trying to sound unbothered and as if you were teasing him and not fuming from how flustered you were.

"would you let me?" draken asks suddenly, his smile dropping as he looks back at you with a serious expression, showing that he wasn't joking anymore. he gently placed his hand on top of yours while patiently waiting for a response. a chill ran down your spine and your eyes widened, was he actually serious? judging by his serious expression, his hand on yours and the fact his face was oh so close to yours was a clear answer to your question. you hesitated for a few seconds, but when you looked back up into his eyes, you subconsciously nodded.

"I would."

"great." and with that, he gently placed his free hand on your cheek and leaned in, gently pressing his lips against yours. it was a soft kiss, not hurried or hungry, but it was filled with unsaid emotions. it felt like it lasted an eternity, but in reality, it was no longer than a few seconds before he pulled away and while you were still dazed from the kiss, he whispered a soft "i love you" into your ear and pulled back to see your reaction.

you were flabbergasted for a few seconds, trying to process his words, and once you brain finally clicked, you whispered it back.

"i love you too.." he smiled at your response.

"will you be mine, sunshine?" hearing his words made and the nickname he gave you made your shocked expression into a wide grin and you could feel your eyes welling up with happy tears. you jumped into his embrace, exclaiming an excited yes and crashing your lips against his again, only to be interrupted by a loud "EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!" you both pulled away and saw mikey, emma, toman's founders and your friends walking up to you two while mikey and baji continued making fake puking noises.

"I said you two could date, but I didn't say you could make out in public!!" mikey exclaimed, yet he still had a wide grin on his face, obviously happy that he successfully made this birthday the happiest one yet.

you and draken whispered another "i love you" to each other before joining the group in celebrating your birthday.

the sun had already set, but draken knew his sun would never.

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© cfyslvr 2024 | please don't steal or repost my work on other platforms !! | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated !!

[lririx]

This ask

VALE boys x shy gn reader

I'm sorry it took so long anon😭

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Victor Grantz

Expressing yourself has always been hard. Being shy makes talking to people a really hard task for you. Victor understood. He isn't good with words but can talk in necessary situations so it's not as hard for him. But he still understands.

Every day he saw how you struggled to keep a conversation and how nervous it made you feel.

He decided to leave notes for you. Notes that had words of encouragement. Notes that showed how much he loved you.

You always found notes in your pockets that had words that calmed you down.

It was his way of comforting you when he wasn't there.

Today was a tiring day. It was Emma's birthday and everyone decided to celebrate it together.

Parties aren't your thing. Kevin dragged you with him to talk to everyone else.

This was one of the most awkward days of your life.

You just stood there while everyone else talked and laughed.

Victor saw you and came towards you. He took your hand and walked to the green house.

The greenhouse is a quiet place. All the flowers and plants make the place feel like another world.

You sit on a chair as the moonlight shines on you.

Victor can't take his eyes off of you. You look beautiful is all he could think of.

He sits next to you and takes your hand.

“[Name].” He says.

“Hm?”

“You know you can ask me for help right?”

You giggle. “Where did that come from?”

“I just don't like seeing you struggle so much to talk to people. I mean you slightly change when you're talking to different people. It's tiring no?”

You look down to the floor. He's right. Altering your personality every time you talked to someone was tiring. You could only be yourself around Victor.

“I know you're worried it's just…I can't do anything about it it just happens.” Your said with a low voice.

“I know.” He said while smiling. “That's why I said you can ask me for help."

You blushed. You felt happy. He was the first ever person you expressed yourself to. The fact that he goes out of his way to tell you this made you feel warm inside.

You lean towards him and kiss him on the lips.

“I love you.” You said.

“I love you too.”

Andrew Kreiss

You've been participating in matches day after day.

You not only have your matches but end up participating in place of others when they can't attend.

This match was a long one. You ended up kiting Bane for pretty much the whole game but in the end you lost.

You came back to the Manor with cuts and bruises all over your body.

Andrew rushed to Emily's office to check on you.

“Are you OK?” He said as he panted.

“I'm OK don't worry.” You said with a weak smile. “I'm just tired.”

He took a deep breath and sat on a chair next to your bed.

He took your hands and sat there quietly.

The sight of you like this made his heart ache but also made his blood boil. Those selfish people. How can they keep giving their work to you?

“Andrew?” You said as you brushed a strand of hair away from his face.

“Why do you keep doing this?” He asked.

“What?”

“This. Why have you been attending others' matches left and right?”

“...Are you mad?”

“Of course I'm angry. I'm angry at you for throwing away your needs. I’m angry at you for overworking yourself. Im angry that you never asked me for help.!”

He went quiet for a second and then continued with a lower voice.

“But most of all I’m angry at myself. At the fact that I’m so useless that I don’t stand up for you…Whenever I think of the times where I could've pulled you away when someone asked for you to do something. The times where if I didn't let you attend a match you wouldn't have been in pain. Whenever I think of those I hate myself. I hate myself because I didn't do anything.”

Andrew understands you well. You two are really similar. So you can understand what he's feeling right now. You know how much he's beating himself up for it.

You drag him into a hug and you don't let go.

You start to kiss the top of his head and caress his hair.

“I'm sorry.” You muttered. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

“Please. Just stop wearing yourself out. For me.” He said in a low voice.

You nod. “I promise.” You whispered.

Luca Balsa

How many times has Orpheus made you “help him” and then dump all of his work on you because “he got a new idea”? You've lost count at this point.

You've gotten used to it but you obviously don't enjoy it but you just can't say no to him. You wanted to a couple of times but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. You didn't want to turn him down when he asked for your help. Well that was one of the reasons. You didn't want him to dislike you. You don't want anyone to dislike you but Orpheus was one of the people that the idea of him disliking you scared you.

It wasn't only you who was bothered by this situation. Luca was really worried about you. You would come to his room, exhausted and drop yourself onto his bed and pass out pretty much every night.

Luca always stays up late. You have to drag him to bed if you want him to sleep. But after this routine with you and Orpheus started you would sleep without a word out of exhaustion. On some days he barely even saw you.

Orpheus told you to wake up earlier than usual today. You didn't sleep last night which didn't help. You get up, wash your face, get changed and go to the library where Orpheus told you to meet him.

“These are murder case files. I'm going to use these in my Novel.” He says. “So read these papers and write me a summary of them. I need it by tomorrow evening.”

You blacked out for half of the conversation. Your mind started to properly work just now and this is all you understood. You sighed and were about to say “I'll do it.” When you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Sorry Orpheus.” Said a person you cherish. “But I need y/n's help today. I know you had plans but it's really urgent. I'm sure you can do this yourself.” He continued with a smile.

“Oh.” Said Orpheus. “Well I guess I wouldn't mind since they've helped me so much. Then bye for now.” He takes the papers and takes a seat in the library.

“What's wrong?” You ask Luca.

“Come on I need your help.” He takes your hand and drags you to his room.

You enter and he closes the door. “Well?” You ask.

He lays on the bed and pats the spot beside him. “I need you to sleep.” He says with a cocky smile.

“You dragged me all the way here to sleep?” you asked a bit annoyed. “I was supposed to help Orpheus.”

He gets up and sits on the bed. “You call that helping?” He asks. “He is using you. Well even if he doesn't have bad intentions he still doesn't care if you want to do it or not. You can't just say yes to everything people ask of you.”

He sounds a bit mad but he's keeping his cool. You lower your gaze and play with your fingers. You don't know what to say. I mean what can you say? You know he's right.

He sighs and gets up from the bed to stand in front of you and takes your hand. He grabs your chin and gently pulls up your head. “I'm worried about you OK? You're just tiring yourself like this it's not good for you.”

“You're one to talk.” You say annoyed.

He laughs. “Well at least I do something I enjoy. Plus you always make me rest. But you just won't listen to me no matter how hard I try.” He kisses your forehead. “I won't let you try to please people like this anymore. You have to start saying no to them.”

You don't say anything. Instead bury your face into his chest. Luca wraps his arms around you and kisses your head. “Come on. Let's sleep. Neither of us have slept these days.”

You tighten your arms around him and nod in response. Then both of you get on the bed and drift away into a deep sleep.

Edgar Valden

Failed rescues, terror shocks, short kites. You really messed up in today's match.

Well, everyone messes up.

But Freddy came up to you and started bickering with you.

“How can anyone be so bad?”

“Practicing is a good thing you know?”

“If you're going to mess up everything don't play the games.”

“Why did you even come to the Manor?”

His remarks didn't stop.

You couldn't say anything. You knew you did terribly in the match but it happens to everyone. He doesn't have the right to be this mad. But you couldn't say anything. Not a single word came out of your mouth. You just stood there while he said anything he wanted to you.

“What makes you think you can talk to them like that?!” You heard someone shout from across the room.

You look over Freddy's shoulder and see Edgar. He was fuming and coming towards Freddy.

“Your little lover over here messed up the whole game!” Freddy shouted. “Why do they even participate if they plays like this?”

Edgar grabbed Freddy by the collar. “You're disgusting.Have you forgotten how many times you've messed up the game yourself? How many times our win turned into a loss because of you? You think you have any right to be shouting at them like this?”

Freddy was surprised. His face was turning red. He quickly snatched away from Edgar's hand and left the room.

He huffed. Then he turned to you. “Why weren't you saying anything to him?” He looked angry.

You just burst into tears. He was surprised and came to his senses.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that. I'm sorry.” He panicked and pulled you into a hug.

“I'm sorry. I couldn't stand seeing you like that.”

You just cried into his chest. Freddy shouting at you like that scared you.

He caresses your hair and whispers “It's OK.” Sometimes.

After you've calmed down he pulls you away and wipes your tears. “Please. Stand up for yourself OK?” Then he pulled you into a hug again.

“I'm always here for you.”