#Dysphoria is killing me

[elsmysteryworld]

im in such a bad mood right now. i keep telling my mum i need a haircut and I KNOW her haircutter friend is busy BUT SHE COULD JUST BOOK ME A HAIR APPOINTMENT AT ONE OF THE 50 MILLION HAIRDRESSERS IN TOWN !!!!!! cant cry though ive got makeup on

[gayanemic]

I am a boy. I know I am. why can't they see it? My long hair prevents you from seeing it? I AM A BOY, AT LEAST INSIDE MYSELF.

[x-itzzzzzz-x]

not feeling very prideful this June

[random-mizu-fan]

Me when I'm wearing make up, wearing feminine clothes and overall looking like a girl baddie that's slaying but feeling extreme dysphoria from it be like

[worthless-misery]

Dear diary...

I wish I could feel okay with my body. Even just a little bit.

It really feels like a prison...

[meowsticmarvels]

thinking about trans phi again... godd the hc means sooo much to me and i think it could really be interesting combined with her existing characterization. a girl who has barely any agency in the narrative and very much just a variable in the larger loop of time declaring agency over this part of her identity. she knows that much about herself, at least. she in canon defines herself as things like "not a normal human being" and "not a man" - quite often things she's NOT rather than what she IS. but what about that? what about what she IS? there's so much mystery and complexity to phi's identity and how she views and defines it and how SHIFTing affects it all. i can imagine it would fuck you up to some degree considering you now live with the memories of versions of you that made different decisions. so I don't know. it's interesting to me i think. phi you are so transgender

[threepoint14art]

redraw of the crane wives' album "the fool in her wedding gown" cover art with owynn,,,,

He has Tongues & Teeth in his playlist and I like to kill him

[calkale]

pulling a jschlatt and getting fat so people stop calling me a twink

[poems-of-the-anentomologist]

suffocating 

I’m doing the dishes again

Staring into the water

At that boy

How can I call myself a girl when the face that stares back

Is just another random boy

You’d see playing on a subrban corner

My name isn’t my name

People don’t call me by my name

I’ve been cut off

From everyone

If I died tonight

Nobody would notice

Just another kid

Just another teen suicide

It’s better than the alternative

To suffocate in this form

Would be preferable

To living in a world where nobody sees me

It’s better than the alternative

[fernsfabulousfloweringfacility]

I am my own man I am my own man I am my own man I am my own man i am my own man I am my own man I am my own man I am my own man I am my own man i am my own man I am my own man I am my own man I am my own man I am my own man i am my own man

(some trans vent art)

[gayanemic]

I'm just a bag of bones and I'm falling apart with every step I take. and it really feels like I'm dying but I can't help but feel so alive. . . I don't mind dying as long as I reach my goal and get a perfect body, one thin until the bones show, one that weighs less than 40 disgusting kilos. . . Because to be beautiful you have to see stars, right? because to be beautiful you have to bleed and red is not a color that I dislike. . . I AM JUST A BOY WHO WANTS TO SHINE, THAT'S WRONG? and who are the adults to deny me a dream? NOBODY. THEY ARE NOBODY. . . AND ME? I WILL BE EVERYTHING.

[aut1smsge0rgs1lly]

damn bottom dysphoria really be hitting different. sock time.

[homosexualcitron]

how about you look at them because they are very cute

[worthless-misery]

I always wonder what it's like.

To feel okay about your body...

Even if just a little bit.

I don't like my body at all.

I hate it.

I only want it to disappear.

[aroacesigma]

does anyone here know how to motivate yourself to start working out again when youre depressed now pleaseeee

[littlest-nightingale]

(quick warning for a bit of swearing at the end)

Crowley doesn't cry very often, so Aziraphale is reasonably concerned when the demon stormed into the bookshop on the verge of tears.

"Dear girl, what's wrong?" the angel asks, bringing them in for a hug.

"Not girl! Not girl 'ziraphale." Crowley objects, and Aziraphale can instantly tell that they're small from that sentence alone. "I'm sorry little one. I just saw your dress and thought it might be a good nickname to try."

"'s not." Crowley huffs, pouting. "People don't get it."

"Don't get what, love?"

"That I'm a boy. Wear dress but 'm boy."

"That you are, dear boy." Of course, Crowley's gender wasn't just "boy", no, it was more complex than that. they weren't a man, not at all, but they love masculine terminology like boy and guy and other such things. They have, in the past, experimented with more feminine nicknames and terminology- and he found that it felt icky, especially when they were small. They/them, boy, but they love dresses and skirts. It made perfect sense to Aziraphale, that a boy could wear a skirt and still be just as much of a boy as any other, but most humans seemed to struggle with the concept.

"Person kept callin' me Ma'am an' she an' told her stop but she didn't.'' They complain. "Oh, well that wasn't very nice of her, was it?" Aziraphale responds softly. "Not nice at all."

"Said I can't be boy, not really, cause m' wearing dress." There are still tears threatening to fall from their eyes, and they're clearly very upset about this.

"Well," Aziraphale starts, sounding a bit offended on their behalf, "pardon my potty mouth, but I think that person is stupid." Crowley looks surprised. Aziraphale never says things like that! He always tells Crowley that calling people stupid is rude.

Aziraphale, pleased with Crowley's reaction, continues. "You want to know why I think that person is stupid? Because, dear boy, you are the most handsome boy in the world. And you are very, very fashionable in your dress. I think maybe she was a bit jealous, don't you? Maybe she thinks that boys can't look good in dresses, and when she saw you, she just couldn't accept it." Crowley looks at him, feeling a bit better but clearly in need of a bit more reassurance. "I'm very proud of you too, you know? I know that dresses made you dysphoric for a while, and I'm so proud of you for being able to wear them again." He smiles. "Even though 's not a boy thing to wear?" Crowley asks. "Of course." Aziraphale responds. "You're no less of a boy for wearing skirts and dresses. You're allowed to wear whatever you want. What is it that you said the other day? All clothes are gender neutral if you aren't a coward?"

Crowley giggles. "All clothes are gender neutral if you aren't a fuckin' pussy."

Aziraphale rolls his eyes. "Now, you know not to use that language when you're little." he scolds, looking very serious, but then he smiles. "But yes. All clothes are gender neutral if you aren't a fucking pussy."