#Drake brothers

[bittersnsweetz]

i love brothers with backstory! i say into the microphone, patting samuel and nathan drake on the back. in the darkness of the distant crowd, two german men stare back at me. one is openly slutty and the other is serving cunt in a way you wouldnt expect at first glance. neither of them are smiling.

[not-those-kids]

more posts abt sam drake’s perspective of uc4

more posts abt all the sacrifices sam made for nathan to the point that he’s a screwed up adult whereas nathan was able to lead the life he got with elena

more posts about how he’s so lost by the end of uc4, realizes he lost everything he thought his life was gonna be

more posts about how his life was fading away in the prison, his youth was eaten up by dreams and a legacy of a mother he only knew for the first ten years of his life

more posts abt understanding why he made the decisions he did, why he nearly got himself killed because ultimately he was a pawn in the own game of his life. he was an empty vessel for which his mom’s dreams lived through, he was the parent nathan didn’t have until sully was there, he was the one left behind on the dock.

more posts abt sam drake pls.

[prlssprfctn]

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

[sleepy-cone]

Broke: The batfam separates Tim and Damian to stop them from fighting each other.

Woke: The batfam separates Tim and Damian because they both encourage the others' absurd logic to justify feral behavior.

...

Tim: "See when I can focus directly on a case with no interruptions, my success rate goes up exponentially." (Hasn't slept in 56 hrs.)

Damian: "Statistics don't lie"

Tim: "Statistics don't lie"

...

Damian: "When I adopt more animals, it makes me happy, and if I'm happy, I work better with a team."

Tim: "And you help an animal that needs a home."

Damian: "EXACTLY!"

Tim: "If anything, its irresponsible to let them roam the streets as strays."

Damian: "That's what I said!"

...

Tim: "So one of the executives of this firm has been stealing some stuff, but unfortunately, he also has the resources and status to get him off the hook with a light sentence. Which sucks."

Damian: "What if you add a more serious crime to up the charges?"

Tim: "...That is GENIUS! I have dozens of cold cases that I've solved, but the culprits have already died! Im sure one of them could easily pass as him! "

Damian: "I can help if you need any evidence planted."

Tim: "Sure thing! I'll let you know when i find the right felony to give him!"

...

Dick: "At least they're having fun and getting along?"

Bruce: "This is not better. Stop trying to pretend this is better."

[cebawoohoo]

Jason, texting Tim: at batburger rn. you want anything?

Tim: i’m in a meeting

Jason: okay

Jason: so what do you want?

Tim: the batburger deluxe without pickles and extra ketchup, as well as jorkerized fries and robin nuggets

Jason: okay fatass

LATER

Jason: come to lobby. i have your food. bitch ass security won’t let me come to you

[lithiumseven]

Jason: It’s your spleen! You lost an ORGAN Tim, you should have told us!

Tim: So? You don’t have your tonsils, that’s an organ!

Dick: That’s not the same and you kn-

Jason: Jokes on you, my tonsils grew back in the Lazarus Pit so your argument doesn’t even make sense!

Dick, now fully turned toward Jason: Your tonsils did WHAT

[bats-and-the-birds]

I screwed around on a fake tweet maker for far, far too long to make this stupid post.

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

I need in my life Tim Drake who does rely on adults but really only one and Bruce is jealous as fuck about it.

"Tim where's your spleen, why haven't you told anyone about this"

"I told Dick what you talking about"

"Tim you played baseball in outerspace why didn't you call for backup?"

"I called Dick"

Why didn't you tell us you were bisexual"

"Dick's known for years? Wym?"

You see my vision Bruce, Alfred, Jack Drake I need these adults pushing for Tim to talk to them or ask for help and this boy to just constantly be like Dick knows, I called Dick, why would I call you.

Dick's sitting pretty knowing everything not surprised by a single fact because if it's the stupidest thing or the most important guess what Tim called him.

The man knows and sees all because Tim heard once that you tell a trusted adult important stuff and well Tim has only ever trusted one.

[luca-is-a-pengu]

The real reason why none of the bat-boys are allowed in the kitchen

[bittersnsweetz]

nobody talk to me ive watched the uncharted 4 ps4 trailer like 20 times and every time it hits like a thousand bricks. the coin. the panning. the music. the dialogue. the slow mo. sam. nothing will hit quite like that in a long time

[not-those-kids]

my infinitely superior drawing of sam in a henley (superior to my older drawing that is)

[prlssprfctn]

Dick is kind of a big brother who knows what effect he has on his siblings's friends, and he never misses an opportunity to make himself look even cooler in their eyes. But Jason? Oh, Jason has no idea that people even consider him pretty and interesting.

It pisses his siblings even more.

Jason, on his bike, with the most insane face card: Hey, Replacement, hop on. We have work to do.

Kon, twirling his hair: Is your brother, like... free?

Bernard: Yeah, on Friday

Tim, with his eye twitching: I will kill you.

Jason, absolutely unaware of what is going on: ??? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO

***

Jon, waving enthusiastically at Jason, who passes by kitchen: Jason is so cool!

Damian: ...

Jon: And kind!

Damian: Calling Todd kind is definitely a choice.

Jon: But he read me a bedtime story the last time I was staying here 😕

Damian, frowning: ...

(Damian, later that day: Why did you read bedtime story to Jon and not me.)

***

Jason: Why Tim's and Damian's friends keep fucking glaring at me? Or stumble when I am around? What tf am I doing wrong?

Dick, trying to hide his laughter: Eh, no idea

Bruce, absentmindedly: I, actually, have the same problem when I am around other people

Alfred, amused: No DNA test required, that's for sure

[mysticalarmand]

Duke: Why is Dick sitting in between Jason and Roy?

Steph: Because he doesn't wanna see them cuddling.

Tim: Or kissing.

Duke: But they're a couple.

Tim: To Dick, Jason's still a baby.

Duke, holds up Damian: This is a baby, that's a grown ass adult.

[haveihitanerve]

I don’t think we, as a fandom, discuss how absolutely WILD it must have been for Tim to switch from idolizing Dick to having him literally being his brother who will casually chug a gallon of milk just to prevent Tim from getting any.

Like personally if fucking Zendaya or like Orlando Bloom showed up at my house and started treating me as a sister I would get WHIPLASH

[timdrakealways17]

More baby Tim au, but what if Damian was 13 and Tim was a baby

—-

Damian: Father, it seems to be trying to eat Alfred’s (the cat) Food. *pointing at baby Tim who just started crawling grabbing a handful of cat food*

Bruce: WHAT

—-

Damian laying in bed, holding Tim above him in the air.

Damian: Mother said I was a cute and smart baby, you wouldn’t meet her standards.

Dick *who was walking by*: DAMIAN!

Damian:

Tim: *baby noises*

Damian: *whispering* you meet my standards.

—-

Bruce, panicked: Damian, if you babysit Tim while I’m gone I’ll pay you 100 dollars. And allow you to get a new pet

Damian: sure

Also Damian: would’ve done it for free

—

Damian: this is Steph, can you say hi?

Tim, being held by Damian: *baby noises*

Steph, also a baby: *baby noises*

Damian: uh

—-

Damian is a really good brother to Tim, as Tim gets older his brotherly skills develop a lot more.

[axiliern]

god please take every traumatic incident i had as a younger sibling and give it to tim drake