#Donahue Pass

[liaromancewriter]

Favorite Ex

Premise: Ethan runs into an old flame, and it brings some much-needed closure for both of them.

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Teen. Angst. Words: 1,570

A/N: Submission for @choicesmonthlychallengenov2024 prompt day 26: "regret" and @choicesprompts Angstgiving prompt "what could have been"

Ethan Ramsey needed a drink.

The annual National Medical Symposium in Miami, with its focus on cutting-edge medical advancements, had been interesting enough. Still, the obsequious flattery that went hand in hand with his increasingly rare visits to medical conferences got on his nerves. He couldn’t care less about what others wanted from him, but after all these years, he knew how to play the game.

Naveen would joke that with age, he’d gained maturity and wisdom. His wife would just snort and proceed to tease him about getting soft until he took her to bed just to prove her wrong.

She pushed him out of his comfort zone. And for her, he was willing to embrace the unknown.

A few years ago, he hadn’t been so… flexible. He reflected absently, walking into the busy hotel bar and scanning the room for an empty seat.

Or as willing to admit that he needed someone to come home to. Someone who understood him and filled the empty holes in his heart. He couldn’t deny it anymore, not even to himself.

Seeing a patron settle his tab and leave, he rushed to grab the padded bar stool. His shoulders dropped at the thought of sipping smooth whiskey while decompressing by exchanging sexy texts with his wife.

Should’ve insisted she accompany me, Ethan thought wearily, raking one hand through his hair.

He placed his phone on the bar, smiling as he often did at the sight of their wedding picture on the screen. He traced one finger down her laughing face, the photo a reminder of the moment she'd insisted he smile—really smile—for once.

He wondered when he’d become such a sap. Maybe she was right, and he was getting soft in his forties.

“What’ll be, sir?” The bartender asked hurriedly.

“Whiskey, neat.”

Ethan froze at the familiar voice behind him. He hadn’t heard it in years, but he’d know it in a dark room with his eyes closed.

Surprise had him swiveling on the stool to face her. Sparkling green eyes met shocked blue ones.

The years fell away as if no time had passed since that fateful night at Donahue’s when she’d correctly guessed his drink order on her first day as an intern at Boston’s Edenbrook Hospital.

“And don’t be stingy,” Dr. Cassie Valentine said, a smile tugging at her lips. “Judging by the look of him, it’s been a three-finger kind of day.”

“Hello, Dr. Ramsey.”

Ethan opened his mouth to speak, but the words caught in his throat, refusing to come. He inclined his head in greeting instead, a poor acknowledgment of the woman who’d been the first to breach through his walls.

The one who’d made him break all his rules and not give a damn about the consequences.

His mind flooded with memories. The quiet intimacy of watching the snow fall outside as they cuddled after making love. The warmth of holding hands on their way to Derry’s for coffee and a stolen moment of peace. The thrill of sneaking glances across the diagnostic team’s office despite their resolve to keep things strictly professional at work.

If it hadn’t been for his temporary but all-consuming love affair with Cassie, would he have even given Joanna a chance?

Ethan hoped the answer was yes. He loved his wife, and it would be an incredible disservice to what they meant to each other for him to believe otherwise.

“Still a man of few words, I see,” Cassie teased as she slid into the empty seat beside him, resting her chin lightly on her hand.

“You know me well,” he said gruffly, swallowing the lump that had lodged in his throat.

“I thought I did,” Cassie cooly inclined her head, but the laughter in her eyes betrayed her. “I still can’t believe you’re here. Remember when we attended this conference when I was an intern?” She giggled. “You hated every minute of it and weren’t exactly shy about saying so.”

Ethan hunched his shoulders. “I wasn’t that bad.”

He had a very different memory of that time. It had nothing to do with the symposium and everything to do with a moonlit balcony and his morals drowning in the heady scent of her perfume.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, you were!”

The bartender returned with his drink, setting the lone glass in front of Ethan. The man looked questioningly at Cassie, but she shook her head.

“Not in the mood?” Ethan asked as he lifted his glass.

“Can’t,” she said, placing one hand on her belly.

Ethan stilled, a mix of complicated emotions he didn’t dare examine too closely surging through him.

Whenever he thought of Cassie, which wasn’t as often now as it had been in those early years, he still saw the resident who worked side by side with him during the day and slept in his bed at night.

The one he’d fallen in love with but could never confess the words to because there was a timer on their relationship. When her residency ended, she’d move on, ready to conquer the medical world with her amazing diagnostics instincts. And he’d be left behind. Again.

So, he’d held back and let the words fade into the ether.

It had been for the best, Ethan reasoned. Her eventual departure hadn’t lessened the hurt, but it had been cleaner.

He hadn’t been looking for love again, but one day, he bumped into a red-haired chef at the farmer’s market, and his life tilted on its axis. Literally, in this case, since he found himself falling to the ground and grabbing her on his way down.

So, he burned his dreams of what couldn’t be and allowed himself to believe in a new and permanent love.

In the last few years, he’d heard of Cassie’s accomplishments; her groundbreaking research, the accolades that followed. The diagnostic medical community was small, after all. He’d felt pride at seeing her star rise, convincing himself that was all it was. Just pride. Nothing more.

Until now.

“Congratulations,” he said softly, the word heavier than it should have been.

He forced a smile, willing himself to ignore the ache that stirred, a reminder of what could never be. He had made peace with it. Or so he thought. Yet here she was, and peace felt like a lie.

“Thanks,” Cassie said with a wistful smile. “I’m still in my first trimester, so we’re keeping it on the DL.”

She tilted her head, her gaze dropping briefly to the wedding ring on his left hand. “You’re married?”

“Yes. Two years next month.”

A silence fell between them—heavy, unfamiliar, and uncomfortably awkward. The rowdy laughter of a group of physicians erupted nearby, breaking through the tension like an unwelcome intrusion.

Cassie glanced toward the noise, her lips twitching into a faint, distracted smile before her gaze returned to him.

Ethan fought to keep his gaze steady, trying and failing to ignore the curve of her lips or the way her stylish blonde hair framed her timeless features. He remembered its softness against his skin as she nestled against him before drifting off to sleep, their hands still touching when they woke the next morning.

Joanna wasn’t into cuddling. She was often too tired after a long night at the restaurant and preferred sleeping on her side, her back to him.

Until this moment, Ethan had forgotten he enjoyed the intimacy of a lover wrapped around him. Cassie had once called him a world-class snuggler, and he’d cherished the title as if he’d won a Nobel Prize.

They had been happy. So, why couldn’t they make it work?

��Are you happy?” she asked eerily, picking up on his ambivalence.

He wanted to say yes. He was happy. Hadn’t he been reflecting on just how much a mere ten minutes ago? So, why was he hesitating?

Shame spiraled through him. He adored Joanna, and he loved their life together.

And yet, a part of him still wondered about the road not taken. Maybe it was time he stopped.

He drew in a long breath. “What happened to us?”

Cassie slid him a guarded look. Her fingers curled and uncurled in her lap.

Ethan didn’t think she’d respond and opened his mouth to take the words back.

“You never asked me to stay.”

He sat back, poleaxed.

“We went from gold rush to cold touch,” Cassie said, sadness clouding her features. “As my residency was ending, I could feel you slowly pulling away from me. And still, I waited for any word from you, something to give me hope that we had a future together.”

Ethan could hardly move, let alone speak at the confession.

“You were my best nights and my worst. I cried myself for weeks after, and then I let us go.”

Cassie slid off the stool and smoothed down her dress. “I’m glad I ran into you. I’ve wanted to say these words to you for the longest time but never had the courage.”

Her eyes softened as she took a step back. “You will always be my favorite ex. Goodbye, Ethan.”

And then she was gone, her scent lingering until that, too, was an ephemeral memory.

“And you will always be mine,” he uttered silently, reaching for the phone and the one he had chosen to be his forevermore.

He and Cassie were finally where they belonged. In the past.

----------------------

All Fics & Edits: @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @jerzwriter @justyourusualash

@lady-calypso @kyra75 @mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect

@queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @snoopdogcone @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

@thosehallowedhalls

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Ethan & Cassie only: @cariantha @custaroonie @youlookappropriate

[jerzwriter]

This is part of my Tobias x Casey AU If It Were Canon... This world mimics canon but with Tobias Carrick as head of the Edenbrook Diagnostic Team instead of Ethan Ramsey. I haven't done much there, but this Holiday idea seemed more attuned to this world.

Book: Open Heart (Book 1) Pairing: Tobias Carrick x Casey MacTavish (F!MC) Rating: Teen Words: 2,249 Summary: Tobias & Casey have been trying to push their feelings for each other away from the day they met. But holiday parties have a reputation for bringing these things to the surface, and they are not immune. When a mistletoe moment brings feelings to the surface, will they both feel the same way about it the next day?

A/N: Participating in @choicesholidays Winter Event, prompt: Under the Mistletoe and @choicesdecember2024 and @choicesdecember2024 Day 7: Mistletoe

The Edenbrook Hospital holiday party was in full swing, and the typically bland conference room was transformed into a festive winter wonderland that would make even the most avid Hallmark movie viewer proud. Twinkling white lights and endless boughs of evergreen garlands hung overhead as the sounds of a  DJ spinning questionable renditions of holiday classics filled the room. In the midst of this, Dr. Casey Mactavish was nestled in a corner, looking much better than she felt as she nursed a cranberry martini. It may have been a special night at the hospital, but she was doing what she always did... trying to ignore the magnetic pull she felt every time Dr. Tobias Carrick entered her line of sight.

He was across the room, unfairly handsome in his fitted charcoal suit, his blue eyes sparkling as he laughed at something Dr. Harper Avery had just said. Casey bit her lip, her cheeks warming as she replayed every stolen glance and accidental brush of hands they had shared over the last few months in her mind. Most in attendance wouldn’t have noticed her internal struggle, but her best friend, Sienna, wasn’t most people, and she felt her friend’s distress from the moment the handsome doctor strutted into the room.  

“Be careful, Case,” Sienna whispered with a knowing grin. “You’re doing it again.”

Casey’s face turned red as the satin dress she bought just for tonight. “I’m not doing anything,” she lied. “I’m just... observing the party.”

“Right. Observing the party. Is there any specific person that you’re... observing?”

Irritated, Casey turned to her friend but couldn’t hide a smile when their eyes met. “Shut up,” she said, polishing off her drink. How did Sienna know her so well?

Unbeknownst to Casey, Tobias was fighting his own battle across the room. Every time he caught a glimpse of her smile or heard her laugh, he swore the room got brighter. He wondered if he was as transparent as he felt. Was it apparent to everyone around him? He hated how obvious his feelings were; he hated that he had these feelings at all. He always prided himself on being in control, and then he met her.

Casey was brilliant, beautiful, and utterly captivating... she had captured him in her spell with just one smile, but she was completely off-limits. He had done his best to put distance between them... trading shifts,  transferring cases, even leaving Donahue’s anytime she showed up. But tonight, with a drink or two too many, he felt his usual restraint loosening. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her.

The night went on, and the drinks kept flowing, leaving Tobias feeling more bold. He crossed the room and sat next to Casey, their easy rapport noticeable at once. They talked all night, at least when they weren’t dancing. Both were doing an equally bad job of hiding the glow that overtook them each time their eyes met or one spoke the other’s name. They were headed to the bar for fresh drinks when it happened.

“Mistletoe!” Elijah hollered as they passed by, sending those around him into cheers. Tobias looked up to find that he and Casey were standing beneath the offending sprig, her eyes wide with embarrassment.

“Looks like you’re up, MacTavish!” Elijah teased.

Before Casey could escape, Tobias shot a mischievous grin. “They’re asking for a show, should we give it to them?”

Casey’s heart almost stopped. “Are you crazy? That would feed the hospital gossip mill for weeks,” she whispered back, though he noted her lips had curved into a smile.

She wasn’t wrong, and typically, he would have refrained, but alcohol had other ideas. “C’mon, MacTavish, it’s all in good fun. And what happens at the holiday party – STAYS at the holiday party.”

He leaned in, his hand landing on her waist, and pressed a playful kiss to her lips. It was supposed to be quick, light, a little joke to please the crowd, but the moment their lips touched, the rest of the world fell away. It wasn’t just a kiss; it was months of desire and longing cumulating into a single, heart-stopping moment.

They pulled apart as the crowd whooped and cheered, their gazes locked on each other. Casey's breath hitched, and she took a self-protective step back. “I... I need some fresh air,” she said, rushing toward the exit.

Tobias only hesitated a second before following her into the frigid December air. Casey was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't hear him approaching her; she only noticed him when he was standing at her side.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, hands stuffed into his pockets.

Casey turned with a nervous laugh. “Sure! I just kissed my attending in front of half the hospital. I’m pretty sure that’s the introductory chapter of ‘The Best Ways to Ruin Your Career’ handbook.”

Tobias couldn’t help but chuckle; even now, she was so endearing. “I’ve worked at Edenbrook longer than you. I assure you, they'll bore of this by tomorrow. Besides, you're brilliant. Your career will be just fine.”

Then why have we fought this so long? She thought but couldn't muster the nerve to say it out loud. She turned to him, eyes searching his face. “Why did you follow me out here?”

“I was worried about you. I couldn’t let you run off like that,” he admitted, his voice dropping. “And I… I couldn’t let that be the only kiss we ever share.”

Casey exhaled as her eyes fell to the ground. “Tobias…”

But he was undeterred. Taking a step closer, gently brushed her cheek. “I know we probably shouldn’t... but, Casey, I’ve been fighting this since the day we met, and I’m so damn tired of pretending I don’t care about you. That I don't want you."

She bit her lip. She knew she should fight this; she knew she should run away, but it only took one look into his eyes for her walls to come crumbling down.

“I hope I don’t regret this,” she whispered. Grasping the lapels of his jacket, she pulled him into a passionate kiss, and this time, there was no hesitation. His fingers ran through her hair, and their kiss deepened as the moment each had imagined countless times came to life. Casey ran her hands up his arms, groaning softly when his lips fell to her neck, setting Tobias aflame. Without breaking their kiss, he guided them to a nearby bench when Casey began to chuckle.

“What are you laughing at,” he asked, smiling against her lips.

“We're all dressed up, sitting outside of the hospital - I feel like two prom kids who snuck out of the gym to escape the chaperones," she grinned.

“I assure you, Casey. I did not attend prom with anyone like you.”

With that, they went back to the task at hand, forgetting the world existed just feet away. They would have continued for hours if a voice hadn't pulled them away.

“Casey!” Sienna called from the door. “Casey, are you out here?”

“Oh my, God!” she gasped, looking at Tobias. “How long have we been out here?”

“Based on the icicles on our noses," he joked. "I'd say a long time."

Casey jumped up, smoothing out her dress and doing her best to act nonchalant as she answered her friend. “Over here, Si!” She hollered. “Dr. Carrck and I were, uh... we were just discussing a case.”

Sienna looked from Casey to Tobias. Even the king of smooth couldn’t hide the “you caught us” look on his face. “Uh huh,” Sienna teased. “A case... is that what we’re calling it these days?”

“Well, the party is over!" Casey announced, grabbing her friend and roommate’s hand and shooting Tobias a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow."

“Tomorrow,” he nodded, the light still burning in his eyes.

The following morning, Casey woke up to a pounding headache with only vague recollections of the night before. She stumbled to the kitchen and poured a cup of black coffee when memories her memories began to stir... “Oh my, God!” She said out loud. “Did, did we....”

An hour later, she was at the hospital about to begin rounds when Tobias paged her to his office. Casey headed there with her stomach churning in anticipation. The two of them had felt the spark from the moment they met; there was no doubt in her mind that this... that they... were inevitable. Sure, this could be a little messy, but it was going to happen, and it felt good to finally address it. Before she knew it, she was entering his office cautiously. She found him seated behind his desk, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw the unreadable expression on his face.

“Dr. MacTavish,” he began, his tone formal. “I think we should talk about last night…”

It felt like the floor opened beneath her – in fact – she wished it had. It didn’t take a medical degree from one of the best schools in the nation to know what was coming next – they hadn’t been on the same page at all. She was about to have her heart broken, and she didn't want to be mortified, too. With a sinking heart, she forced a smile. “It was a mistake,” she muttered before he had a chance to say it. “Typical holiday party... too much to drink, and...things happen,” she paused. “Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”

He nodded with relief, though the tension in his jaw betrayed him. “Exactly. I’m so glad you feel the same way. We need to keep things professional between us.”

“Of course,” she said, her voice clipped. “And that’s exactly what we’ll do. Now, if that’s all?”

“That’s all,” he said with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. "And...things don’t have to be awkward between us, Casey. Sometimes... these things happen.”

“Yes, agreed,” she nodded, hopping to her feet. She couldn’t get out of his office soon enough.

Her vision was blurred by tears she refused to shed as she walked to the door, letting out a breath the second it closed behind her. Ignoring a curious glance or two, she rushed to the nearest supply room and slammed the door.

At least he was cool about it, she thought, but that didn’t ease the pain. Could she have been this wrong? She swore he felt it, too; she knew he did... or perhaps she wasn’t as perceptive as she liked to believe. With a shake of her head, she rose to her feet, wiping away any trace of tears. She stepped into the hallway with her head held high. She wouldn’t let this defeat her, but that sinking feeling in her chest wouldn't leave anytime soon.

Tobias watched as she left the room, his heart twisting. He almost stopped her, opening his mouth to call her name, but no words came out. He had to, he told himself. He had to let her go, but why did it have to hurt this bad? He lied to her, for both their sakes, but he lied to her nevertheless, and as he slumped back into his chair, he realized what a terrible mistake he just made. He couldn't leave things like this.

Later that night, Casey was sitting on the couch in her tiny apartment, a mug of hot cocoa doing nothing to help her sadness, when she heard a knock at her door. She wasn't in the mood to be social, but her roommates were not home, so she rose to her feet with a frown. She opened the door, shocked to find Tobias standing there with a sheepish grin on his face and a sprig of mistletoe in his hand.

“Hello,” he smiled, stepping inside before she could protest.

“What... what are you doing here?” she asked, her heart pounding.

“I need to apologize, Casey. I wasn’t honest with you today. I can't stop thinking about last night... just like I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you from the day we met.”

“But... but you said...” she stammered as he raised a finger to her lips.

“I thought I was saying the right thing, but it wasn’t. A lie is never the right thing. The truth is, I’m crazy about you, MacTavish – and with Christmas just a week away, I know I don’t want to spend it with anyone but you.”

He took a deep breath and raised the mistletoe held above their heads.

“Can I have a do-over?” He asked. “No audience this time - just us. And when we’re done, we'll figure out a way to move forward together because I’m done fighting what I feel.”

Casey’s breath hitched as she leaned in, words unnecessary as their lips met again. They were done fighting it, this thing between them was real, and nothing, not rules, not gossip, not fear, would keep them apart anymore.

Tobias was reverent when they broke away, their foreheads pressed against each other’s, but Casey couldn’t contain her grin.

“Merry Christmas, Tobias,” she whispered, her voice full of emotion.

Tobas cupped her cheek as he gazed into her eyes. “Merry Christmas, Casey,” he smiled.

They stood in the entranceway, wrapped in a tight embrace. There were things to figure out, but not now; now, they were going to relish the moment. Christmas came early for Tobias and Casey this year, and right now, all that mattered was they finally had each other.

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[makethatelevenrings]

Broken Heaters // J. Todd x gn!reader

Requested? Yes!

Warnings: none!

Summary: The heater is broken in your apartment two days before Christmas...and a huge blizzard is about to hit Gotham. Your unlikely friendship with Red Hood pays off and your Christmas gift to him sweetens the deal.

Snowflakes drifted past your face as you made your way down the streets of the Bowery. Folks greeted you with small smiles and a wave as you passed, but no one stopped to chat. It was Christmas Eve Eve and everyone was hurrying to get home due to the weather report of an oncoming blizzard on Christmas Eve.

As a nurse at the Bowery clinic with Leslie Thompkins, you were well-known around the area. It was as if some kind of invisible protection ward surrounded you as you walked down the streets. For one thing, you had treated and helped a good portion of the gang members or their families in the area. Another reason was that, after finding him bleeding out in an alley and saving his life one night, the Red Hood ensured that everyone knew you had his protection.

“Merry Christmas, Mrs Donahue!” you called as you entered your apartment complex. You were instantly made aware of the lack of warmth seeping from the walls and you cursed under your breath, fishing your keys out of your bag as you climbed up to the third floor. Once you unlocked your door and pushed it open, your suspicions were confirmed.

The heating was broken.

“Fuck,” you muttered. You weren’t worried about yourself, you were worried about the other occupants of your complex. Fuckfuckfuck. Could you get them all a hotel this close to Christmas? You knew your shithead landlord wasn’t going to do anything, so that meant you needed to get working.

“Fucking hell, it’s cold,” a voice said from your bedroom. You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in waiting as the familiar leather jacket and red helmet came into view. A fluffy Santa Hat sat on the already blazing red helmet and you pursed your lips at the sight of Hood’s attempt at holiday spirit.

“Are you hurt?” you asked.

“Pretty sure my balls sucked back into my body the second I walked in here, but no, I’m good.” He looked for any broken windows or another reason as to why it was freezing in here.

“Heater’s broken,” you explained. “Fuck. And that piece of shit fucking landlord won’t do anything to help.”

You turned in a circle, your eyes scanning the room as if the answer would be written on the walls. First, you needed to make sure that the elderly found a warm place to stay. Mrs. Tran was in Bludhaven to see her daughter for the holidays so that left Mrs. Donahue and Miss Macios. But then there was Liz on the fourth floor who had a toddler and a baby. Her husband was away for business and he had already called you asking to check up on his family while he tried to get an earlier flight back before the storm hit.

“Hey.” A steady hand landed on your forearm and you brought your gaze up to meet the familiar red helmet once more. “What can I do to help?”

Relief surged through your chest and your shoulders sagged in relief. Usually, the burden of caring for others rested solely on your shoulders. It was a task you loved and devoted yourself to, but you were exhausted from the constant worrying.

But here he was, standing before you, and offering himself to help. Ever since that night when you found him in the alley and stitched up his bullet wound, Red Hood had been a constant presence in your life. You appreciated his sharp wit, dry sense of humor, and under all of that tough veneer, the softest person alive rested under his armor.

“I don’t think you can help me with this,” you admitted quietly. “I need to find hotel rooms or somewhere warm for sixteen people. Unless you can pull a rabbit out of a hat for this one, I’m screwed.”

Hood pulled away from you and turned, lifting one finger as a way to let you know that he was doing something. You could hear him mutter something low and indecipherable and then he waited a moment before nodding and turning back to you.

“The Wayne Foundation has a warming center nearby that still has beds open. Free of charge. I also can send someone over today to fix your heater.”

“I-” Words failed you. In just a few seconds, he has pulled a rabbit out of the fucking proverbial hat. The man standing before you was highly dangerous and yet so very kind. He had millions of people to look after, but he was standing in your apartment and solving an issue way below his paygrade.

“I don’t know how I can thank you,” you murmured. Hood shrugged and shoved his gloved hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“No thanks necessary,” his modulated voice replied. “Need help telling your neighbors?”

Sure, because the look on Henry’s face who lived two doors over being greeted by the Bowery’s armed protector was enough to send you into hysterical laughter.

Once the two of you knocked on every door and left notes to those who didn’t reply with directions, you found yourself back in your ice cold apartment. You packed a duffle bag of your own to head to the local warming station when he joined you.

“Before I forget,” you said, dashing over to your closet. You reached up to the top shelf and pulled down a wrapped gift. Extending it to the hero, you waited until he grabbed it before focusing on packing once more. The soft sounds of paper tearing met your ears and then a startled gasp.

“Is it bad? I can exchange it at the store for credit. I just saw it and remembered you mentioned growing up and reading them, so I figured…”

In his hands was a boxed set of the Lord of the Rings books. The buttery soft covers seemed fragile in his large hands, but he touched them delicately, as if he would break them if he pressed any harder.

“It’s perfect,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

“Merry Christmas, Hood.” You hefted your duffle bag up on your shoulder. “Not to be rude, but I’m heading out so shoo.”

“Where are you going?”

You frowned. “Uh, the warming center, obviously?”

Hood shook his head and extended his free hand, the other cradling the books to his chest. “I have a safe house nearby that has heat. If you…if you want to join me.”

You considered his offer. Red Hood was no stranger to you. You had been handling late night meetings with him for eight months now. He had taken off the helmet a few times, letting you see his dark hair tinged with a shock of white and those full lips that always seemed pulled up in a smirk. The domino mask over his eyes concealed his identity, but you didn’t care much about who he was. Because you knew who he truly was, deep down, and that was a good man.

Someone who served the “lesser” population of the Bowery. Someone who saw the hurting in the world and wanted to fix it. Someone who brought you cookies from a local bakery the one time you were sad and brought you chicken soup when he came by and found you with a cold.

“Okay,” you breathed. You grasped his hand tightly and smiled. Little did you know that after being stuck together for the three days due to the blizzard, you would come to know Jason Todd.

tag list: @khaetiin​ @mcrmarvelloki​ @gone-batty-fics​ @someoneimsure​ @perpetual-fangirl900​ @visagebrise​ @cursedandromedablack​ @alexxavicry​ @havingarebelliousstage​ @the-wayward-daughter​ @raging-trash-of-mind​ @kimm4710​ @kat-nee​ @khaylin27​

[idontplaytrack]

Omg can I request super possessive/jealous Capri? Where someone hits on reader and maybe tries to get reader to exchange numbers and Capri sees this and gets jealous

Baby, I’m Jealous

Capri Donahue x fem! reader

Warnings: fluff, a bit of angst? coarse language, mentions of sex and hickeys

In which, Capri thinks reader is flirting with a guy, but she soon finds out that was far from the truth.

The first bell thrills, signalling home room period was up soon. Capri stared daggers into his soul— Lucas Cobb, senior. Lacrosse player. 6 foot, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, player. That asshole has a reputation of fucking a new girl every weekend.

Slamming her locker shut, the sharp noise startled a couple of students near her. Shrugging, a sheepish smile on her face while she walks up to Lucas who was at your locker. Looking at you, talking to you, flirting with you. What were you doing? Giving him what he wanted and giving Capri insane jealousy.

“I was wondering…what’re you doing Friday night?” He asks right as Capri showed up next to you and him.

“Uh, nothing, but—”

“Nothing? Awesome, you wanna go out? Just the two of us?”

You froze, bewildered look on your face as he proceeded to ask for your number so he could text you.

You chuckled awkwardly, eyes flicking over to Capri, hoping she would get the hint and step in. “She’s with me.” Capri wraps an arm around your waist tightly. You completely indulged in that moment, snuggling closer and putting your arm around her torso. “Don’t look so shocked, she may be quiet. But she’s gorgeous. And also my girl, so your loss. Deal with it before I deal with you.”

“She’s gay?”

“Yes, I am.” You answered firmly.

“You too?” He looks at Capri next.

“What, does gay have a certain look?” Capri scoffs, “The whole school knows what a scumbag you are— sleeping with a new girl every week, so you have no excuses hitting on someone who you know is obviously taken. Those that sleep with you are just as dumb as you are because they know you and are just looking for a fuck-buddy.”

“The girls love me.”

“Sure.” Capri rolled her eyes, smirking, “Definitely not these two, though. Piss off!”

Capri leads you away, arm still around your waist protectively. You leaned onto her briefly before you two walked off. Capri walks you to your class on her way to hers.

“I’ll see you in bio, okay?” She presses a quick kiss to your lips, “You’re alright?”

“I’m okay.” You nodded in confirmation, “See you in bio.”

Capri flashes you a smile, looking over her shoulder as she leaves. You found your usual desk and sat down. “Hey.” Darby taps on your shoulder and waves. “Hi, Darby.” You beamed.

“Are you okay? I saw what happened in the hall with the guy. I mean, Capri was with you, but still.”

“I’m fine, he just flirted and tried to ask me out. I mean, we all know how he is—”

“Yeah, you don’t have to say it.”

————

Your day went by okay, though Lucas still kept looking at you— disgustingly, whenever you passed by him in the halls or a classroom he was in. You didn’t look at him at all but yet, you could still feel his eyes on you like a hawk. You fought the urge to outwardly cringe— every single time. It was sickening. The way he was watching you like you were an object, and though he never did come up to you again after Capri’s warning, you weren’t feeling that much better about this behaviour of his.

But hey, you actually thought wrong. Right as the lunch bell rang, students all hurried to the cafeteria, leaving the hallways empty. Your teacher wanted to talk to you about tutoring a student in your class— it was James. Capri’s ex. But he was fine, he was a good guy. So anyway, once your teacher let you go, James walked with you and just chatted. And if it weren’t for him being there, whatever came for you next would’ve left you traumatised for life. Lucas came up to you out of nowhere and tried to pull you away into the janitor’s closet and judging by the shit he was muttering over and over, he wanted to have his way with you. He managed to grab your wrist so hard and choked you that you got bruised.

James easily fought him off, and you ran as fast as your jelly legs could take you. “Hey, fuck off dude. I’m very sure she’s told you she wasn’t interested.”

“All she confirmed was that she was gay.” Lucas scoffed.

“Yeah, with her girlfriend standing right next to her and telling you to piss off. The whole school saw it, you’re messing with the wrong person, Lucas. Back off and let them be, screw yourself instead. Capri will destroy you completely of you keep this up. I won’t hesitate to hit you if you ever lay your hands on either of them again.”

James caught up with you quickly. You didn’t run too far with your legs feeling like they could give away at any moment. “Do you need to see the nurse?” He asks.

“No, I just- want to have my lunch and maybe ditch.” You told him flatly.

“Alright.” He shrugs.

“You can join us, you know?”

After his breakup with Capri last year, he’s been a lone wolf. He had a couple close friends but said he always felt left out with them. But your invite wasn’t one out of pity. You knew that he and Capri ended things on good terms and he’s been a good acquaintance, now maybe you wanted to get to know him as a friend.

“If you guys are all okay with it, sure then.”

You spotted Capri at a round table with Darby and Alex, chatting away. “Hey, guys.” You greeted, “Can he join us?”

“James!” Darby waved at him, “Hi.”

“Hi, man.” Alex chimed in.

“Not a problem.” Capri smiled, “Hey. Oh, my God— did he—”

“Yes, but James was there— he fought Lucas off. If Ms. Tanner didn’t want to talk to me about tutoring James, and I’d left the class on time, he would have absolutely ruined my life.”

“What—”

“Just think about the worst thing that could happen while a girl’s with a guy like Lucas, alone.” You cut Darby off.

“Oh, shit.”

“I got off easy.” You scoffed, putting down your bag, you headed for the lunch line to get your food.

Once you got your food, you started to eat while quietly telling Capri you wanted the ditch school for the rest of the day. “It’s just too much, y’know with Lucas’ ‘attention’. I’m seeing him again in gym right after lunch and that is the last thing I want.”

“I think you should go home.” Darby and Alex agree.

“Yeah, I was gonna do just that even if you said no.” You laughed lightly.

“I’ll take you home.” Capri says. You declined. “It’s not an offer.” Capri continues, her brows raised, “I’m saying I’ll take you.”

You gulped. “Okay. You’ll take me.”

She smirks, then returned to eating her lunch. Darby snorted, laughing her ass off. “Good luck when you get home, hun.”

Though the guys got what she meant, they didn’t say anything, as if it was the most normal thing ever. Well, after knowing Capri awhile, it started to become the norm— her very non-subtle way of letting you know what she wanted. Part of it was because of her jealousy. She gets jealous very easy, sometimes when there was not exactly a reason to— and how does that usually work out for you? The girl would mark the fuck outta you and you’d just show up at school the next day with the hickeys you’ve tried so hard to cover up. One or two still vaguely visible no matter what.

Today was no exception. Capri didn’t go easy on you that afternoon, she never did. She’d always fuck you senseless then baby you afterwards. Did you like that? Absolutely. Would you ever outwardly tell her you did? Hell no, you weren’t gonna give her that satisfaction.

Falling flat onto her and breathless, you feel Capri reach downwards to pull the strap out of you while telling you to lift your hips. You could barely do it, but damn did it feel absolutely heavenly. She rolls you onto your back so that she could remove the harness. You whined, wanting her to hold you. Capri only smirks while taking her sweet time removing the harness from herself. You hear it fall to the ground with a thud before feeling a dip in the mattress. She puts her arm under your back and just pulls you in so you were facing her. Brushing the hair out of your face, she asks, “That’ll teach you not to talk to anyone else who tries to flirt with you, hm?” With your eyes partially closed, you nodded, snuggling against her chest tiredly. “Good.” She smiled proudly, wrapping her arms around you tighter. “I’m still not done with you, actually, pretty girl.”

“What?” You slurred.

“We’re going for a round two tonight. I wanna see just how much you can take.” Capri told you eagerly. You scoff, but you already feel that ache in between your thighs, cursing in your head, you closed your eyes and just got some rest now since she was letting you.

“M’kay.” You answered, voiced muffled since your face was practically buried in her breasts.

She laughs huskily, sending a chill down your spine, “I get it, baby. You love my tits. Always getting close to them whenever you get the chance, hm? Maybe I should finally let you touch them when I fuck you later. You want that?”

You mumbled incoherently, sleepiness completely taking over your body.

“Well, do you?” She asks, not letting you drift off to sleep until you gave her a clear answer.

“Yeah.” You managed, then yawned.

“Okay, get some rest, sleepyhead.” She teased, planting a kiss to the crown of your head.

————

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

[parttimereporter]

Phil Donahue, the longtime host of "The Phil Donahue Show," has died ... his family confirmed Monday.

The media personality's death was announced on "The Today Show" Monday morning, sharing a statement from Donahue's family. Donahue, who hosted his eponymous talk show for 29 seasons, passed away on Sunday evening following a long illness..

Those who grew up in the 80s and 90s know that Phil Donahue WAS TV..

[follow-up-news]

Phil Donahue, an innovative TV host who rose to fame in the late 1960s after being the first person to interact with a studio audience and bring new ideas into American living rooms,died Sunday, his family said. He was 88. The cause of his death was not immediately disclosed, though his family said he'd been suffering from a "long illness." "Groundbreaking TV talk show journalist Phil Donahue died Sunday night at home surrounded by his wife of 44 years Marlo Thomas, his sister, his children, grandchildren and his beloved golden retriever Charlie," said a statement from his family. "Donahue was 88 years old and passed away peacefully following a long illness."

[cheesysoup-arlo]

prompt for you hehe :3

“I swore to myself that I would never ever catch feelings for someone like you, so I won’t get hurt. but here we are. And what’s worse is you don’t feel the same way about it, about me and I’m the one who’s going to embarrass myself once all of this is over!”

Never gonna happen (but it did) Capri x Reader

Capri had been…nice…to you. Capri Donahue and nice were never a combination you thought you would say but here you were.

For context: After the incident (the being electrocuted/“dying”/ coma situation) Capri had returned to school. A few weeks after her return Capri and her boyfriend broke up on surprisingly good terms, they both felt a new disconnect between them and thought it would better if they broke up. To much of your dismay you got paired with Capri for a project, you assumed she wouldn’t be much help, you had worked with her before and to say it was horrible would be an understatement. She wouldn’t do anything. Didn’t communicate, didn’t do the research, she didn’t even show up for the presentation, literally no help. However this time was different it was like a whole new Capri. “So partner, wanna meet at the library after school?” She asked “huh?” You replied surprised that 1. She was talking to you and 2. That she was actually talking about the assignment.

As you two worked on the two week long assignment you got close.

Capri approached you at lunch “Hey Y/n, wanna come over to my place after I finish cheer practice? We could work on the project a little then like maybe watch a movie or something fun?” Capri asked, you looked up at her a little surprised “uh yeah sure” you said as nonchalant as you could muster. Later that day you two hung out, had some genuine fun, laughed together, and did a little bit of the project. Maybe Capri wasn’t as bad as you thought.

Though the project was finished and the due date passed, you and Capri kept in contact, texting, calling, and sometimes even hanging out after school. The closer you got with her the more you enjoyed her company and longed for her when she wasn’t around.

Wait- no…no it couldn’t be! You-you have a crush on CAPRI DONAHUE?!?!

Oh this is the worst

Out of everyone you know? After how rude she was before the incident? You really had a crush on HER?

Unfortunately the answer was yes, you do have a crush on Capri

You hung around her more, your stomach felt fluttery, your face felt warm when she complimented you…definitely a crush BUT Capri would never feel the same, she’s a straight cheerleader girl who dates any boy she wants and gets attention all over school…the complete opposite of who you normally go for

“Y/n what’s wrong you’ve been quiet and like staring at me?” She said and you just broke spilling your guts out to her “I swore to myself that I would never ever catch feelings for someone like you, so I won’t get hurt. but here we are. And what’s worse is you don’t feel the same way about it, about me and I’m the one who’s going to embarrass myself once all of this is over!” You said tearing up a bit and getting up to leave “Y/n wait” she called out “no no I don’t wanna hear your pity for me” you said walking away with a scoff, she grabs your wrist “Y/n listen to me” you reluctantly look at her making eye contact “are you listening?” She asked, you turned away and stayed quiet “Y/n?” Looks back up at her “…yeah” you say calming down slightly “why do you think I don’t feel the same?” Capri asked kind of hesitant “because you’re straight?” You replied a little confused “oh yeah and what gave you that idea?” Capri said with a head tilt “I- well um you know…you’re in cheer, you’ve only dated dudes all of high school actually all of like forever, and like I’ve never heard you say anything like gay ever…” Capri laughs a little “well I see your point but I happen to be bisexual not straight” she says with a smile “wait really” you say genuinely surprised “yes y/n your ‘straight girl’ crush is actually bi” you’re at a loss for words “y/n?” She asks noticing your silence “ you’re bi…” you said quietly, she nods “and I like you back” she says with a wink “WHAT!” You shout, surprised then quickly covering your mouth, she laughs a little “I have a crush on you y/n, I thought that was obvious?” She says looking at your shocked appearance, you stare at her, “sooo?” She says hoping you say something “I um wow ok so you like me? Like for real?” You say trying to convince yourself “oh my gosh yes y/n I like you, is that really so hard to believe?” She says almost laughing a little “yes it’s hard to believe, you’re so pretty and smart and popular and I’m just-“ she cuts off your rambling “y/n you’re amazing and kind and beautiful, don’t even think about talking badly about yourself” she says holding your hand. You don’t respond but you look at her, words failing you, silence building until you mumble, “I really wanna kiss you right now” she blushes “I wanna kiss you too” she says with a smile, you both lean in slowly but she gets impatient and pulls you in faster kissing you softly yet passionately, you mutual pull away after a bit “wow that was amazing” you say blushing “yeah, you’re good at that” she says and her arms rap around the back of your neck. “Sooo…girlfriends?” She asks causing you to blush “yeah, yes! girlfriends” you say with a stupid lovesick smile, “bye y/n, I’ll call you when I get home, ‘kay?” She says not letting go yet “leaving so soon” you say with a small pout “sorry hun the student athlete life is very busy, I’ve got homework” “aw ok, can we call while you do homework?” You say hopeful “yeah duh” she gives you a quick kiss “bye” she says with a wink and a wave “b-bye Cap” you say watching her walk away

You have a girlfriend, not just any girlfriend, CAPRI DONAHUE, your Capri

A/N: I WROTE SOMETHING…well I finished something that had been in my drafts for a month but YAY I POSTED LOL

[splinter-sister]

Prev

The front of the house looked wrong.

The flower beds that once used to be overflowing with shrubs and little statues had been replaced with a bed of stones and rose bushes along the front of the house. The porch looked the same, the color of the trim didn't. It was white now. The porch swing was still there with a new cushion to protect whoever sat on it.

The face of the house felt fake. Like it has cosmetics on it to blend all it's unique features. There sat something tangled and wiggling in her gut. A foresight fear for what was going to happen.

But she had to know. She had to know for several years and was too afraid and ashamed of herself to come home. Maybe her mom redid the house after her dad died. They were so close. They made this house unique through their conjoined efforts.

She wanted to keep running down into her rabbit holes, but not this time. No more burrowing. There's still some of Butch's liquid courage in her, she knew it!

She rings the doorbell and waits.

A dog barks from inside and her heart sinks. A shadow comes up to the windows and pulls the fabric blind to the side to see who it is. It falls back into place and the door is unlocked. Rachael can count at least three different locks on the door, all sounding different.

The door is opened by someone who is definitely not her mother. She was pretty, in an airy blouse and capris, and telling the dog to shut it. This intruder looks Rachael over first.

"Can I help you?" She asks wondering who this stranger is coming up to her doorstep. She must think Rachael was trying to sell something. Rachael forces herself to begin the first steps of a conversation.

"Ah. Sorry. I'm-I used to live in th' area and..." She feels a choke coming on. She was right. She was right. She was right.

"Does.... Rita Donahue still live here. O-or in the neighborhood?"

"Oooh honey, I'm sorry, but you just missed her by a few months or so. She sold to us and moved away." The woman says with a hint of offense at being disturbed.

"She did, huh?" Rachael's eyes wander to the inside of the living room. The walls used to be an earthy terracotta red. Now, they're beige. No more paintings and photographs. The carpet she used to sit on to watch Saturday morning cartoons was gone, replaced with hard wood floors. Bare. Pecked clean. Defiled to her of all the comforts she knew.

Rachael has to remind herself that it's not this woman's fault. She doesn't know and now, doesn't have to.

"Thhhat's a shame! She used to babysit me when I was little. I heard her husband passed and I wanted to give her my condolences." Don't drop face. Act normal. Lie.

The hardest part was trying to keep herself from shaking.

"Love what ya have done with th' place, though! Very modern." A lie that will taint her tongue and throat for years to come. Like taking poison damage in an RPG.

"She was lovely." And her breaking point was coming. She can't keep up a full conversation and keep herself together. Time to go.

"I'm sorry to have disturbed yew! En-enjoy yer mornin'..." Rachael doesn't wait around for a returned good bye. She spins on her heel, takes one huge step off the front porch and keeps walking down the street even if the new tenant was calling after her. What she said didn't reach her. She's gone.

This was a mistake. She shouldn't have come. It was like looking at a dead relative during a wake and they don't look like they used to. Too far altered. Too far delayed rest. The last scene of them you'll ever see and remember and you wish you had kept their memory as they used to be.

'It's too late.' But wasn't that always her reasoning? She believed and fed herself that as an excuse for her cowardice. That time was against her when really, it gave her more chances than she deserved.

She wasn't protecting anyone by hiding. She was ashamed and ran from her mistakes. It was selfish. She changed her whole life and now she can't go back. It's all gone at last and she'll never have it again. Now that the last, tiny tile of hope was taken from her mosaic, it's just an empty wall. No more dancing colors and patterns. It's just the beige as they painted the living room.

Despair is let out of it's cage once she reaches the tree line on her way to the bus stop. It was a long ride to get here and it'll be an even longer one back.

Hopefully, the bus will be empty this time of day.

[cariantha]

Valentine's Day Cards

I sent an ask around last year inviting people to share the cards their MCs and LIs exchanged on Valentine's Day. Here are the one Ethan and Sawyer gave each other this year.

Let's have some fun! Reblog and share the cards your OTP exchanged today. Do they go for laughs like E&S? Or are they the mushy types?

From Sawyer to Ethan:

Message on the inside: I knew that first night at Donahue's (when you were checking me out) that you would be mine one day. I love you, babe. Now, will you finally tell me what's in those drink specials?! XOXO, Sawyer

(Bonus) Ethan's reaction: "It's a short walk to and from Donahue's, Sawyer. Should I be worried?"

From Ethan to Sawyer:

Message on the inside: Actually, I more than like you. I love you, Rookie. More and more with each passing day. Still falling, Ethan

Tagging some of my OH peeps, but anyone can join the fun.😊

@peonierose  @potionsprefect @trappedinfanfiction @jerzwriter @coffeeheartaddict2 @liaromancewriter @tveitertotwrites @tessa-liam @socalwriterbee

[justinsentertainmentcorner]

Carmel Dagan at Variety:

Successful national talk show host Phil Donahue, who entertained, challenged and informed two generations of daytime television viewers, died on Sunday night following a long illness, Variety has confirmed. He was 88. The news of his death was first announced Monday morning on the “Today” show. “Groundbreaking TV talk show journalist Phil Donahue died Sunday night at home surrounded by his wife of 44 years Marlo Thomas, his sister, his children, grandchildren and his beloved golden retriever Charlie,” his family said in a statement. “Donahue was 88 years old and passed away peacefully following a long illness.” The pioneering, issue-oriented “The Phil Donahue Show” was picked up for national syndication in 1969, was redubbed “Donahue” in 1974 and eventually reached more than 200 stations across the country. It ran until 1996, when the daytime talkshow landscape had changed radically into a tabloid circus and competitors including Oprah Winfrey had drawn away his female viewership. While Donahue was not above resorting to sensationalist topics, his show was still rather tame compared to the imitators like “Sally Jesse Raphael” and “Jerry Springer” that followed.

Never a stranger to controversy or hotly debated sociopolitical issues, the silver-haired Donahue brought a strong journalistic spine to his popular show and was a potent contrast to the regular celebrity chatter and soap opera menu of daytime television.

[...] In 2002-03, Donahue briefly returned to television with a self-titled MSNBC talkshow in which he interviewed newsmakers on social and political issues. Its audience was dwarfed by that of Fox Network’s “The O’Reilly Factor,” with which it competed, but drew the highest ratings of any show on the cable network at the time. Nevertheless, MSNBC canceled “Donahue” after six months, leading some observers to conclude that the network felt the show unwelcome given the political climate prevailing in the country at the time. “Network management apparently didn’t care for the anchor’s left-leaning politics, a contention that echoes a recently leaked internal memo that found Donahue’s politics would not have been palatable to aud[ience]s in wartime,” Variety said at the time. Oprah Winfrey praised Donahue in a September 2002 interview as she was contemplating running an anti-war series on her own show, saying: “The bottom line is we need you, Phil, because we need to be challenged by the voice of dissent.”

Talk show host and liberal icon Phil Donahue died at 88.

[tofu-bento-box]

MORE! MORE! 6 and 7!

6. Did you make any NPCs more sympathetic than in canon? Or less sympathetic?

i really tried to make victor a bitch. upon meeting the party he was a loser who was guarding the tome of strahd and admitted to killing two people within about a minute of conversation. he continues to be snarky and abrasive at every opportunity and STILL my party likes him. i can’t get them to abandon him. so now i gotta find some plot hook for him (stay tuned on that)

strahda has been changed to have a backstory that’s more sympathetic to my players. she’s a lesbian who was trapped in a marriage with sergei because she was being passed over due to sexism (in my game, sergei and tatyana are related rather than sergei and strahd), and her snapping point was that the man she’d married was upset she didn’t love him.

7. What's your named character death count so far? (Players, friendly NPCs, villains.)

hoooooh boy i gotta check my session notes

izek (confirmed) - captured in the blue water inn, taken to a cave and interrogated, then executed

lydia and vargas vallakovich (presumed) - a riot started at the festival of the blazing sun and they were thrown into the woods covered in raw meat juice. could have theoretically survived but haven’t made an appearance yet

fiona, karl, and nikolai wachter (confirmed) - off-screened by another npc for being banites

sasha (on general principle) - i may have gotten rid of baba lysaga, but i kept her house! it’s named sasha. died when the party removed the gem from inside of it to give it back to the martikovs

rahadin vhenikatchu (confirmed…?) - possessed by the warlock’s patron and then walked off the drawbridge outside castle ravenloft. his body might be mush, but maybe something could be done with his bones…

sylon donahue (confirmed) - resident of the abbey, killed to start a murder mystery. he barely counts

ezmerelda d’avenir (confirmed) - fell unconscious due to smoke inhalation during the fall of argynvostholt, then fell from the third floor to the ground when ireena’s grip slipped. the party was told she was dead before she fell…

vasilka greene (confirmed, but resurrected) - stabbed to death and hung from a tree, with a message carved into her back to bait the party into looking for her murderer. she was immediately taken up to the abbey, and her injuries were mild enough to be treated via raise dead. the abbot lost their shit and immediately resurrected her

for a grand total of 11!

[jerzwriter]

Second Thoughts If it were cannon... AU

A million years ago, someone asked me if I'd write a series that mimicked canon but with Tobias Carrick as head of the Edenbrook Diagnostic Team. While I don't have the bandwidth to take on a series at this point, as I'm doing my Open Heart re-read, I will rewrite select scenes that I think could be interesting.

Part one was the first night at Donahue's when there was a serious connection building between Dr. Tobias Carick and new intern, Dr. Casey MacTavish. But now, they've had a chance to sleep on it, do things look different in the morning light? Lack of sleep, misunderstandings, and a dash of fear lead Casey to make a choice. Will it be one she comes to regret?

Book: Open Heart Book 1 / Chapter 3 Pairing: Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey) Featuring: Bryce Lahela, Jackie Varma, Landry Olsen Rating: Teen Words: 2,200 Series: If it were canon... AU Summary: See above

A/N: A quick thank you to @angelasscribbles for helping me come up with a new nickname lol I was at a loss. And thank you to @alj4890 - because of you I'm inspired to continue with this!

Series Masterlist Tobias x Casey Masterlist My Masterlist

The second day of her internship was not going as planned. Casey hardly managed to get any sleep in the miniature closet she called her room. At least the stairs above her came in handy today. She accidentally set her alarm for 5:00 PM instead of 5:00 AM, and if not for someone stomping down those steps, she would have overslept and likely decided to return to Philadelphia in shame. Now, with barely 30 minutes before her shift began, she threw on a ratty old Henly that paired perfectly with the wrinkled pair of jeans at the foot of her bed. Hair and make-up? Not today. A messy bun and brushed teeth would have to suffice. Somehow, she managed to arrive at Edenbrook with ten minutes to spare; when she saw a group of surgical interns playing basketball outside. Bryce Lahela was amongst them, and suddenly she wished she had spruced up just a little bit more.

“Up top! I’m open!” A shirtless Bryce barely got those words out before he flew by her, catching a pass and dribbling confidently toward the hoop. He dunked the ball, then screamed out in celebration. “Ha! Who’s the king now?”

“King?” Casey laughed, “You nearly killed me getting to that ball! I think the king should at least get a traffic infraction."

“Damn! I didn't realize. I would  have gladly given up two points for a chance to collide with you.”

Casey laughed as the other interns whooped and hollered when she saw the ball suddenly flying in her direction and caught it with both hands.

“Well, come on then, MacTavish!" Bryce goaded. "You gonna play, or you gonna send that back over?”

With a determined smirk, Casey slowly dribbled the ball, taunting him. “Come see if you can get it from me." Bryce sauntered toward her with what she’d come to know as his signature grin firmly in place.

“You’re making me look good,” he whispered upon approach. “I really am the king.”

“King of the surgical interns,” she laughed. “I guess that’s something, but....” without another word, she dribbled the ball around him, rushing toward the hoop with Bryce at her heels.

“Gonna make it tough on me, huh?” he laughed, wrapping his arm around her waist and spinning her around, but not before she shot the ball right into the hoop.

“That’s gotta be a foul, Ref,” she hollered, giggling in Bryes’s arms.

“It’s not a foul if you’re on my team,” Bryce defended. “And you are definitely on my team.”

Casey caught her breath as he put her on his feet, crossing her arms defiantly. “Says who?”

 “Says me!” He replied with a playful shrug. “But seriously, you want to join in?”

“Nah, my shift starts in five, and I’d really like to make myself look decent before it starts.”  

“You’re already looking good, MacTavish. Don’t go too crazy; I don’t want competition for hottest intern.”

“Ha!” she laughed, reaching up and flirtatiously pinching his cheeks. “I’ve already got that in the bag, Lahela!”

"Quite possibly," she beamed. "Hey, lunch later?"

"Sounds like a plan."

He smiled as he watched her run to the hospital entrance, pushing her way through a group of staff who had stopped to watch the game and assess the new talent.

“Excuse me. Pardon me,” she pushed through.

“You looked really good out there,” a pretty nurse winked.

“Thanks,” Casey smiled. Completely unaware that her handsome attending was quietly sipping his coffee nearby.

“She was impressive, wasn’t she, Dr. Carrick?” The nurse asked.

“Yep," he nodded. "She sure was.”

After a quick change, sprucing up her hair, and even applying a dab of lip gloss, Casey was the last of the interns to enter the atrium, but still on time. She was eager to meet her senior resident, and when Dr. Ines Delarosa called her name, Casey gently pumped her fist. “Yes!”

“Why are you so excited?” Jackie asked.

“I met her yesterday, she’s amazing! Bubblegum and rainbows incarnate!”

“Gross!” Jackie grimaced. “I’d rather take my chance with the grumpy ass I've got. I’ll catch you on the other side!”

Ines clapped her hands with joy to gather her charges. “All right, young ones! You’ve got your assignments! Go forth and shine bright!”

And Ines greeted her interns with the same enthusiasm when they returned a few hours later. “I hope you’re all excited! We’re about to begin rounds!”

“Woo-hoo!” Casey yelled as Ines gave a thumbs up with approval.

“That’s the attitude I want to see! You’ll be even more excited when I tell you we have a very special guest! Dr. Tobias Carrick will be joining us for rounds today!”

Casey turned to see Tobias leaning against a wall, looking up from his clipboard at the mention of his name. He curtly nodded at the interns, and Casey’s mouth went dry. Why did he have to be so beautiful? One glance made her knees go weak, and when his ice-blue eyes locked with hers, she could feel her cheeks begin to flush. She had been fueled by liquid courage when she approached him at Donahue's last night. What kind of intern flirts mercilessly with her attending on her very first day? But with his eyes still on her, she felt the heat rising. Yeah, she thought, that’s why I did. But when he turned away without acknowledging her, she began to question her judgment again.

“Let’s do this,” Dr. Carrick said gruffly.

“We’re doing rounds with Dr. Carrick? This is amazing! Also, I’m going to puke!” Landry whispered softly but loud enough to hear.

Tobias stopped short and looked over his shoulder, catching Landry chatting with Casey. “Less chatting and more moving!” He scowled. “Or do you think you’ve learned enough to keep your patients alive with just one day on the job?”

Casey’s brow furrowed. He didn’t seem at all like the man she met yesterday: the one who patiently guided her through an emergency procedure before her shift even began, one whose jovial attitude kept the interns energized throughout the day, or with whom she flirted shamelessly last night, perhaps that last one was the problem. Still, she shook her head and whispered to Landry.

“He was so cool yesterday. Why is he acting like such a jerk today?”

Dr. Carrick screeched to a halt again, causing several interns to trip over themselves to avoid toppling on top of him.

“Something to say, Dr. MacTavish?”

Her wide-eyed peers whispered amongst themselves. How did he already know her name? Dr. Carrick didn’t expect an answer, but Casey was giving him one all the same.  

“Yes, actually. I was wondering why you were so irritable today. I liked the Dr. Carrick I met yesterday much better.”

Tobias crossed his arms, biting his cheek to stifle a laugh, and Ines looked nervously between them. “Ha-ha!” She laughed. “Dr. MacTavish is so funny... haha! That will help make you a good doctor, but why don’t we get on with our rounds.”

“Wait,” Tobias held up a hand. “Dr. MacTavish, what role do you think attendings will play in your residency? Do you they – myself in particular -  are here to amuse and appease you?”

“Nope," she replied, not backing down. "Not at all.”

“Good. Because all of us will be putting in long hours, sometimes you won’t sleep for days on end. You’ll be dealing with life-or-death issues, and sometimes, the losses will nearly destroy you. No one is going to be rainbows and sunshine all the time. So I suggest you learn to deal with irritable colleagues and patients alike. It’s as much a part of this job as anything else.” He looked directly at Casey, and even as he was admonishing her, his gaze still made her melt. “Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” she grinned as Tobias forced himself to look away. Casey was completely unaware, she had the exact same effect on him. b

“Good. So why don’t we start rounds with your patient then?”

Landry wanted to question Casey as they walked away. He wasn’t sure if she was his hero, if she was out of her mind, or a combination of both, but he didn’t dare speak after that exchange.  

Casey and Landry went on to present. Or better said, Casey did. Landry was so starstruck by Dr. Carrick’s presence that he couldn’t bring himself to utter a word. Casey eyed him nervously, but when it was clear he was stalled, she jumped in to bail the duo out. Calmly and succinctly explaining that their patient had been in an accident and had internal bleeding as a result. She offered their prognosis and defended their treatment plan, even reassuring the patient when he expressed concerns about the length of his stay. Tobias was impressed with her, and halfway through her presentation, he couldn’t help but wonder why he was being so grumpy after all. It wasn’t like him at all.

“... so we have to get you healthy, Mike,” Casey said sweetly. “There are people counting on you.”

“Excellent, Dr. MacTavish,” Tobias approved, looking pointedly at Landry.

They proceeded to watch Elijah, Sienna, Jackie, Aurora, and other interns present.

“Congratulations!” Ines chirped. “You survived your first morning rounds! That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Depends on who you ask,” Landry droned.

“Landry,” Casey frowned. “Don’t worry, you’ll get a chance to...,” but Tobias began speaking and drowned her out.

“All right, doctors! Your patients are all alive... let’s make sure they’re still that way when I see you tomorrow. You’re dismissed.”

Casey turned and walked away with the other interns, but she didn’t get far when Tobias called her back.

“Not you, Newbie. You have one more patient to see.”

“I... I do?” she stammered.

“And do I?” Landry asked.

“Did I say you?” Tobias glared.

“Nope,” Landry gulped, turning to Casey. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

Casey walked toward Tobias; while some interns gossiped, not even attempting to hide.

“What’s with them? One asked “Nothing! She just made a good a good impression on him.” “Yeah,” Another sneered. “A good impression on him at the bar last night!” “Well, I guess that’s one way to get ahead.”

Tobias didn’t hear, but Casey did, and she couldn’t conceal a frown as she walked his way. Seeing her distressed, he hoped his attitude had nothing to do with it. He greeted her with a warm smile.

“Hey there, Newb. Why so glum? You doing OK?”  

“I’m good,” she sighed. “Very sleepy, but good. Hey, I want to apologize; I’m sorry if I was a jerk back there...”

“Nah,” he replied, and she realized his graveled voice had the same effect on her as his damn eyes. This would not be easy. “I was the one being the jerk. That’s why I wanted to talk to you...”

“Wait,” she crossed her arms with narrowed eyes. “Are you telling me there’s no patient? You just wanted to talk to me?”

“Two things can be true at once, grasshopper,” he smiled. “That’s good to remember in medicine. But I am sorry for being grouchy. It’s not like me; I guess we all have bad days.”

“And we're all entitled to them every so often,” she winked. “Just don’t let it happen again.”

She wasn’t your standard intern, and he couldn’t help but laugh when he caught a nurse looking at them intently. She scattered away when he met her stare, refusing to shift his gaze. Casey followed his eyes and understood at once. She lowered her eyes as he returned his attention to her, his voice taking on a more serious tone. “Listen, about our talk last night..”

Casey felt herself becoming sick, and she didn't think skipping breakfast was the culprit. Her cheeks turned red, and her breath quickened. What would all the gossips say about the two of them standing this close? She was a kid from the wrong side of the tracks in Philly, worked her ass off to get here despite all those who said it was just a dream. She wasn’t going to have anyone saying her success was a result of flirting with her attending. But, God, she wanted to pursue him. She hadn't felt a connection like this in so long, and he had said they could find a workaround. Then she felt her blood go cold. Listen, about our talk last night...

Oh, God! She thought. I made a total ass out of myself, didn’t I? I’m an intern, for God’s sake. He’s Dr. Tobias Carrick; he likely has his choice of any person in this hospital. Any person in Boston! What the hell was I thinking? Convinced he was about to tell her he wasn’t interested. Her blatant flirtation was about to make her look like nothing short of a desperate fool, and Casey never wanted to be a desperate fool.

“It’s alright!” she interrupted, though right now, nothing felt alright. “We both had a few drinks, and it was late... it’s not surprising that we both said some things we didn’t mean.”

“Oh,” Tobias said, clearly taken aback. “I didn’t realize that...”

“Hey, Casey,” Bryce smiled, walking past with his team. “See you at lunch!”

“Oh,” Tobias repeated, images of the two of them kissing and their flirtatious game on the hospital court rushing to his mind. He recovered quickly this time. “It’s fine. I’m glad we’re on the same page then; this way, we don’t have to be awkward. We’re cool?”

“We’re cool,” she faked a smile, not understanding why his apparent dismissal brought the sting of bitter tears to the back of her eyes.

“Good! So, I do have a patient for you,” he said, nodding in the direction they were about to walk. “Her name is Kyra Santana, and her doctor thought a golf outing was more important than being here today. But, his loss is your and Ms. Santana’s gain...”

Casey took notes as he spoke. She never needed notes; she remembered almost everything, but she'd find any excuse to avoid looking into those eyes.

 “Hey, Dr. Carrick,” a beautiful nurse winked. Casey looked up momentarily but rushed her eyes back to the pad in her hand.

Thank God she quickly covered, she thought, her cheeks flushing with a mix of relief and embarrassment. He was Tobias Carrick. As if he’d have any real interest in her. It was bad enough that she had it this bad for her attending—the last thing she needed was for him to find out. That would be no way to start this phase of her life.

Tobias stood before the door, and, damn it, he smiled again. "You ready, Dr. MacTavish?"

"I like to think I am," she smiled as she walked through the door.

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

[thescoobyscholar]

The History of Zoinks (Essay)

Includes an etymological and cultural analysis of the usage of "jeepers," "jinkies," and "zoinks." Another post will include the follow-up study.

If you grew up watching Scooby-Doo, it may be easy to assume that groovy green tees, ascots, and vans painted with flowers were all standard 60s fare. However, recall that these teens were not written by teens; when the first episode aired, character designer Iwao Takamoto was 41, main writer Bill Lutz was 47, and creators Joe Ruby and Ken Spears were 36 and 31, respectively. Were they already out of touch? As put by Paul Dini, writer on Scooby-Doo! Abracadabra-Doo: “When you look at those characters, they are characters frozen in time. They’re not really what hippies or hipsters or cool kids were like. They’re what 50-year olds thought cool kids were like” (“Scooby Doo! The Whole World Loves You”).

The most iconic quantifiers of how close these characters were to the “cool kids” is their catchphrases: “jeepers,” “jinkies,” and “zoinks!” When we hear the cartoon’s catchphrases, which claim to characterize this era, we must ask: Did people really say these things? Even though these terms are almost exclusively associated with the franchise today, these words were not born for marketing. The writers were pulling from memories, trends, and histories which, if we trace backwards, may glean some evidence as to their cultural accuracy.

Daphne’s classic “jeepers” is said to have been first penned in 1928 by cartoonist Billy DeBeck, whose popular Barney Google strips coined similar terms as “heebie-jeebies” and “holy moly” (Chakraborty and Dosad 117). The true origin of the word is likely several decades earlier, as Google’s catchphrase “Horsefeathers!” was already coming out of fashion among the construction workers that used it when DeBeck revived it in his parody of Appalachian colloquialisms (Funk and Funk ix-x). At the time DeBeck picked up “jeepers,” it was used as a euphemism for “Jesus!” (Harper, “Etymology of jeepers”).

However, the Scooby-Doo writers were more likely to be familiar with Al Donahue’s song “Jeepers Creepers” (as in, “Jeepers creepers, where’d you get those peepers?”). The song jumped high enough in America’s popular music charts in 1939 that it was covered by Louis Armstrong, Larry Clinton, and later Frank Sinatra (Whitburn 533). As an alteration of “Jesus Christ,” the flexible phrase was perfect for bouncy love ballads (“Oh, those weepers, how they hypnotize!”) and as a horror movie motif in Jeepers Creepers. The fact that the film was released in 2001 speaks to the staying power of “jeepers.”

As for Velma’s catchphrase, “jinkies,” it may be a variation of a number of old Scots terms dating around the 18th-19th century, so you may as well pick your favorite: a synonym for “jauntily” (as “jink,” to dodge or flee; nowadays “to juke” may be applicable), a nonsense word in nursery rhymes (e.g., “Eetum, peetum, penny pie / Cock a lory, jinky jye”), or a child’s nightgown (Dictionary of the Scots Language); a type of knitted fingerless glove (see Kate Davies Designs); or yet, as a derivation of “high jinks,” a drinking game that dates back to at least the 17th century (Harper, “Etymology of jinkies”).

The term was first recorded as exclamation “By jinkies!” in the newspaper strip “Ella Cinders” in 1936. The first recorded use of the term by a human (assuming comic characters can’t mail in letters to the local paper) was in a 1938 edition of the Northern-Courier in the sports section. Ray writes: “By jinkies, on my next pass day I will surely stop and see that 178 foot wheelbase, fire truck. If I can’t make it in one day maybe I can get an extension. Some truck.” (How many feet is the Mystery Machine’s wheelbase, I wonder…?) Again, “jinkies” is preceded by “by,” which Velma, as we all know, would choose to omit. By Scooby’s birthday, the term was popular among college students and “overly earnest” speakers (Iseli), fitting for the youngest of the gang who is always piping up with a clue to prove her intellectual merit.

Unlike “jeepers” and “jinkies,” which have decent pedigrees preceding Scooby-Doo, neither “zoinks” nor “zoink” directly appear in any written work before 1969, although they have a number of distant cousins. The closest approximation comes from television: a famous bit in 1958’s “Robin Hood Daffy” where Daffy swings from tree to tree, calling, “Zoiks, and away!” with each jump, only to crash face-first into a tree every time. His iconic lisp makes it difficult to parse whether he’s saying “zoiks” or “yoiks.” The latter would seem more likely, as “yoiks” and its sister “hoiks” have a long history as hunting words. On a bright and early morning in 1843, Sir Godfrey calls for his friend to hurry and saddle up: “Hoik, 'squire! . . . hoik, hoik! High wind him! Drag on him, yoiks, tally-ho!" (Mills 125). On the tail of a fox chase in 1774, a hunter in pursuit exclaims, “Yoiks, hark forward!” (Kelly 6). Contextually, neither sound too far from the modernized “Zoinks, let’s scram, Scoob!” The first “zoiks” was penned around 1584, in a sonnet of all things: “With mightie maters mynd I not to mell, / As copping Courts, or Comonwelthis, or Kings / Quhais craig zoiks fastest, let tham sey thame sell; / My thoght culd nevir think vpon sik things” (Montgomery 1–4). I can’t claim a clue about what the rest means, but “zoiks fastest” leads me to think this is a “jink”/”juke” situation; in “zoiking”, the narrator is fleeing from the cowersome courts, commonwealths, and kings. Coincidentally, “mynd I not to mell” sounds almost adjacent to “meddle,” another word popularized by Scooby-Doo. All of the “zoinks” family are employed as interjections preceding movement.*

In sum, while “jinkies” appears to have had some relevance at the time of Scooby-Doo’s inception, “jeepers” is a bit dated in comparison, and “zoinks” has a vast etymological tree but no direct precursors. The advantage to having a cast of characters who are, in the words of Paul Dini, “frozen in time,” is that they are living time capsules. We can choose any point within 50 years and see unique perceptions of culture, politics, music, style, and our focus: vocabulary. But how well do these perceptions line up with reality?

*All, that is, except one. “Yoiks” may also be used to refer to egg yolks, as in a cookbook from 1762: “Take a large Fowl, or a Pound of Veal, as much grated Bread, half a Pound of Sewet . . . Mace, two Cloves, half a Nutmeg grated, about a large Tea Spoonful of Lemon-peel, and the Yoiks of two Eggs” (Glasse 38). Add an olive toothpick on top and you have a Shaggy sandwich!

References

Chakraborty, Pritesh, and Anuradha Dosad. “Comic Monthly 1922: Exploring Form and Themes.” Department of English, Vidyasagar University, vol. 15, 2022, pp. 112–125.

“Ella Cinders.” Montana Standard, 29 Sept. 1936, p. 11.

Funk, Charles Earle, and Charles Earle Funk. “Foreword.” Horsefeathers, and Other Curious Words, Harper & Row, New York, 1958, pp. Ix–x.

Glasse, Hannah. “Made-Dishes.” The New Art of Cookery, Made Plain and Easy, John Exshaw, 1762, pp. 38–39.

Harper, Douglas. “Etymology of jink.” Online Etymology Dictionary, 28 Sept. 2017, https://www.etymonline.com/word/jink.

Iseli, Marcel. “Jinkies! You’ll Never Believe What Velma’s Catchphrase Means.” Linguablog, Iseli International Commerce, 18 Sept. 2022, linguaholic.com/linguablog/jinkies-scooby-doo/.

"Jinkie." Dictionary of the Scots Language, Scottish Language Dictionaries Ltd, 2004, http://www.dsl.ac.uk/entry/snd/jinkie_adj

Kate Davies Designs. “Jinkies Pattern.” Ravelry, SARK, Nov. 2021, www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/jinkies.

Kelly, Hugh. “Epilogue.” The Romance of an Hour: A Comedy of Two Acts in Prose. G. Kearsley, 1774, line 6.

Mills, John. “A Meet of the Olden Time.” Ainsworth’s Magazine, edited by William Harrison Ainsworth, vol. 4, Chapman and Hall, London, 1843, p. 125.

Montgomery, Alexander. “To R. Hudsone (Sonnet 2).” The Poems of Alexander Montgomery, edited by David Irving, James Ballantyne and Company, 1821, pp. 76.

Szymborska, Wislawa. “Moment.” Monologue of a Dog. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2005, pp.11-13.

Ray. “Diamond Dust.” The Courier-Northerner, 29 July 1938, p. 8.

"Scooby Doo! The Whole World Loves You." Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! The Complete 1st and 2nd Seasons, produced by Hanna-Barbera and Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc, 2010. DVD.Whitburn, Joel. “The Songs.” Joel Whitburn’s Pop Memories 1890 - 1954: The History of American Popular Music, Record Research Inc, Menomonee Falls, WI, 1986, p. 533.

[idontplaytrack]

Buttercup

Capri Donahue x fem! reader

Warnings: age regression, a bit of baby talk, fluff

Capri finally figures out why reader regresses.

The morning started off great, as per usual actually. Time in classes seemed like it was passing by quickly, you could focus and you were in a good mood. You have most of your classes with Capri, your girlfriend, so that’s why you were happy. Usually, you two were separated for at least half the day. Thursdays were the only exception.

Eventually, it was time for lunch. You were pretty hungry so you were glad to have been let out of the previous class on time and managed to get your food quickly. While you sat down at a table, Capri excuses herself to go use the restroom. In the meantime, you ate your food while scrolling through your phone.

When Capri returned, she wasn’t alone. She was giggling along with Darby— her best friend. “I’m back.” Capri pecks you on your cheek and sits down next to you. “Darby can join us, right?”

You blinked, smiling at them both, “Sure.”

Wasn’t she always sitting with Alex? Where was he today?

Eh. You shrugged, looking at your lunch tray as you poked at the food and ate. You swallowed your feelings and let lunch go on as per normal, chatting with them and all, chiming in whenever you felt like it. You didn’t hate Darby, you hated that you got jealous over the most little things. You despised that. When lunch was over, you left the cafeteria just a little quicker than they did. It wasn’t unusual for you to do that— sometimes. You liked getting to class on time, or early even. Though typically, you went everywhere with Capri, including arriving to classes together.

You were aware you had the issue with jealousy. You even knew what caused it all to begin— thanks to a childhood where you constantly had to earn or fight for any bit of attention. But, as much as you tried to stop yourself from spiralling whenever you felt that feeling start sitting on your shoulders like a heavy weight. It slowed you down, literally slowed you down. And you began to lose focus— whatever your teachers or anyone else said after that sounded like gibberish. You felt a little sleepy after having lunch, so then you were cranky— like you wanted to cry. Then, you wanted a hug from Capri. But she wasn’t in this class. You’d only see her in your next and last class of the day. You stared at your phone, then looked to the front at your teacher. Your hand itches to grab your phone, you wanted to talk to Capri, tell her you wanted a hug. But you also feel yourself start to feel unlike your usual self. Your head emptied itself soon enough, and you rested your chin on your folded arms for the remainder of this class, but looked right at the front so your teacher couldn’t fault you for not paying attention. You managed to get by, now making your way to your last class— Bio. You sat down at your bench, that you now shared with Darby since three days ago when Mrs. Milton decided to ‘shake things up’ for a project by drawing names out of a box. So thanks to that, you were paired up with Darby while Capri was paired up with James. Her ex boyfriend. Yippee.

Your bench? It was right in front of Capri’s, so you could hear her chatting and giggling with James, all throughout the class, word for word. She barely looked at you once. You looked at her over your shoulder and sulked before you turned back around. She saw that, she saw you. You caught her smirking, then chuckling. “You alright?” Darby asks while leaning closer. You shook your head. You were never this direct unless you were regressed. It was starting to happen and you were fighting it. You couldn’t let it happen now. You were in public. Darby knew it was unusual for you to say no so straightforwardly. Therefore, she was worried. You seemed fine and all, but of course, who could tell right now? You hoped they couldn’t tell that your ‘grown up mind’ was slowly but surely drifting away. You stared down at your feet when you saw Darby turning around. “Baby?” Capri leaned forward, “What’s wrong?”

You pursed your lips together, not wanting to talk, knowing that you would sound different. So you just ignored her, Capri fought a sigh and let you just sit there. Seeing this interaction, Darby didn’t push you to do a lot right now for the project. With her guidance, you thankfully got through the class just fine. Once Mrs. Milton said the class could be dismissed, you grabbed your bag and bolted out of the classroom. Capri could barely catch up with you. “y/n.” She caught up with you, grabbing your wrist. You didn’t reply, just yanked your hand away and continued walking out of school. Capri wasn’t having it. She sat you down somehow, and tried to talk. But you flat out refused. She sighs, “Baby, talk to me, please.”

You breathed shakily, “Wanna go home.”

Capri’s hand on your knee froze, she squints at you, thinking. Why were you talking like that? Barely coherent and barely complete sentences.

Capri ultimately decided the school wasn’t the right place to have a conversation if you were already so obviously upset— among other things. You sat in the front with her and she made your your seatbelt was buckled before she started to drive. It was a quiet journey to her house, you’d dozed off rather quickly. She didn’t have the heart to wake you, but did anyway since she didn’t want you to be sitting in the car to sleep. She would very much rather have you sleeping properly on her bed than here.

“Hey.” She says, shaking you carefully. Your eyes fluttered open as you stirred in your sleep.

“We’re at my house.” She continues while your eyes fully opened up. You only nodded, then she unbuckled your seatbelt for you so you could get out. Capri was getting a little frustrated with the fact that you hadn’t said much of anything to her for the last hour or so. But she didn’t really show it, you couldn’t tell she was annoyed. Something was going on, and she wanted to know what to do so she could help you. Capri goes up to her room and you were right behind her, like a little kid clinging onto their parent.

————

Capri’s heart fluttered, feeling you hold onto her hand so tightly, her frustration died down, fully replaced by worry now.

You drop your backpack onto the floor at the foot of her bed. “Come here, baby.” She sits you down on her lap, “How are you feeling? What’s wrong, why’ve you been keeping to yourself all day?”

“I don’t know.” You blinked profusely, “I don’t feel like myself, I feel like my mind’s switched off.”

Judging by the way you were clinging onto her like your life depended on it, you had seconds before you officially slipped into that headspace.

She cups your chin, tilting your face so you were looking at her. “You’ve got to let me know next time, lovey.”

You exhaled shakily, tears slipping from your face. Why were you even upset? Why were you regressed? You don’t know and can’t remember why. Capri knew you tended to regress sometimes, so she knew how to take care of you. But your triggers were still unclear to her— and yourself honestly. Because once you were in that headspace, you don’t know anything else. You just knew that you wanted Capri. You wanted Capri to cuddle with you and kiss you, watch cartoons with you and share some snacks.

She knew she wasn’t going to get an answer out of you right now, so her caregiver mode kicked in and took over. You shifted yourself and wrapped your arms around her neck, your head was resting on her shoulder.

“Aw, does my baby want hugs?” She teased, chuckling over her words.

“Yes.” You nodded, sniffling pitifully.

“Are you okay?” She asks quietly, “What do you want to do, baby?” Tears were still streaming down your face as you kept quiet.

“Hey.” She rubs your back, “Don’t cry, don’t cry. You’re okay.”

Like a reflex, you cried harder, just babbling incoherently as she shushed you and rubbed soothing circles on your back. “I don’t like you talking to James.” She managed to make out those words.

Jealousy. Now she knew one trigger.

“He told me funny jokes, so I laughed. He doesn’t like me like that anymore, angel.” She whispered, carrying you off her lap. Capri held your face in her hands, squeezing your cheeks, “Don’t cry, hm? What can I do to make you feel better?”

You were now taking some deep breaths to regulate your own emotions, lips pouty and eyes wide and glossy. Just…looking at her. Capri puckered her lips and kisses you on your lips, then slowly, peppering soft fleeting kisses all over your face. So much so that you started giggling. Just what she wanted to hear. She laughs, squishing your cheeks again, a cheekily smile on her face. “I think you still need a visit from the tickle monster.”

You squealed, she didn't care and just tickled you to make you laugh harder. You were screeching and squirming on her bed beneath her, your hair all over your face now, obstructing your sight. “Stop, stop, stoooop.” You squealed, laughing heartily.

“Okay, okay.” Capri laughs, laying down next to you, a hand on your abdomen. Your breathing slowly evens out. “What do you want to do, buttercup? You wanna play with your toys?”

You rolled over onto your side. “Can we go to the playground?”

She hums, “The playground? Of course we can. Are you hungry? If you are, we should eat something before we go.”

She’d noticed that you didn’t have quite as much to eat at lunch at school.

“I’m not.” You told her.

“After we get back, we’re having dinner, alright?” She coaxed. You nodded, “Okay.” Lips still pouty— she loved it. You were so cute.

“Good girl, come on let’s go.” She smiled, chuckling to herself and pressing a kiss to your forehead. She held her hand out so you could grab it and get out of bed. Before taking a walk to the playground nearby, she got you changed into something that was easier for you to move around in.

Once at the playground, you climbed on and started to just run around and slid down the slide. “Baby, be careful!” She shrieked, watching you carefully.

She followed you on the side of the playground structure, making sure you weren’t going to trip and fall and get hurt. “Don’t run, please.” She quiets down, stopping you in your tracks easily, “I don’t want you to run. You might fall and that’s gonna be an ouchie.”

You looked at her in thought, but gave in and agreed. She smiled, satisfied and let go of your wrists.

You two didn’t stay for long, because after about half an hour, a couple other kids showed up. You didn’t see it but their parents gave Capri and most importantly, you, weird looks. She convinced you to leave before you heard anything they were going to say. “Let’s go, okay, buttercup? It’s time for dinner. Don’t want you to go hungry, lovey.”

“Aw.” You frowned, “Okay.”

“We’ll come back very soon, okay? I promise.”

“‘Kay.” You agreed, “I want nuggies.”

“Sure, babe. I’ll make you some chicken nuggets.”

You were clinging and leaning onto her, but she let you, clearly. “Tired?”

“No.” You muttered, “I want a hug.”

Rubbing your back, she gave that a thought and gave in, picking you up with ease and walking the rest of the way home like this.

“Do you wanna eat first or shower first, angel?” You two were back in her room again. You couldn’t answer her, seemingly frustrated about something. She figured it was the sticky, sweaty feeling. “Okay.” She decided, “I’m gonna give you a quick shower first.” Stroking your cheek with her thumb, she added on, “Give me a minute, I’ll pop those nuggets in the oven so they’ll be ready when you’re all nice and clean, okay?”

You didn’t say anything and just held onto her arm, following her around to the kitchen, the fridge, the oven. Then, around her room to gather you a fresh set of clothes and towel.

You were cranky given how uncomfortable being sweaty felt, but Capri made do, successfully giving you a shower then got you dried and dressed. “There we go.” She beamed, holding your face by a hand under your chin, “Let’s go eat, baby.”

The day came to a close with you both having dinner in front of the TV watching your favourite Disney movie, Lilo & Stitch which you insisted on watching even though Capri said no— she knew you’d cry, and you did when it came to the scene where Stitch walked out of Lilo’s room.

“Shh, hey. Hey, it’s okay, baby. It’s okay. It’s just a movie, it’s not real.” Capri cajoled, both arms wrapped around you and holding you close. Your head was on her chest, face looking away from the TV and pressed up against her chest. She stroked your hair as you cried, thanking her lucky stars that you’d already finished your food otherwise she’d have another problem of you possibly choking. She skips ahead in the movie, setting the remote control back down.

“Do you wanna take a nappy?” She asks, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

“Right here.” You hiccuped, snuggling closer to her as your hand rests on her chest on the other side, tracing the fabric mindlessly.

“You wanna nap here?” She chuckled, “Okay, baby. Not a problem, hm? You get all the snuggles you want.”

You gazed up at her, lips puckered, she giggled, “Oh, my baby wants a kiss?”

You nodded sleepily, eyes barely open already.

“Please?” You sulked.

“Aw.” She bit back a laugh, “Okay, okay.” Pecking you on the lips, and then a few more times on your face just to hear your laughter.

“Yaaay.” You replied, eyes fluttering shut thanks to her company and the soothing motions of her hand going up and down your back.

Capri smiled to herself watching you quiet down and succumb to sleep. Once you were out for long enough, she carried you to her room and tucked you in to spare you a backache when you woke up.

Well, eventually, she climbed into bed with you after putting your dirty clothes in the hamper feeling herself in need of a little bit of a nap too. She held you close again, it helped her relax too knowing that you were right there with her. That was all you needed now. She knew she needed to talk to you about a few things, but that could wait until you were up for it later on.

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

Ended up being longer than I expected🫣 I’ll also be doing fics with this theme for the rest of the characters that I’ve not written for yet :)

[alwaysmychoices]

Red Lipstick

Synopsis: Fresh off their breakup and public fight, Charlie is set on revenge. If she can't make Ethan change his ways, she can make him jealous.

The day after their relationship-ending fight, Charlie and Ethan are forced to work together. Instead of getting back together, they end up adding fuel to the fire.

Chapter 38 of the “with and without” series

Previous Series: “a weekend with dr. ramsey”

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlotte “Charlie” Greene)

Words: 3.8k

Rating: Teen (language)

Also available on AO3 & Wattpad (link in Masterlist)

If love and hate are two sides of the same coin, Charlie’s coin was caught mid-air.

Charlie took a shot of tequila and savored the way the liquid burned through her body. It settled deep in her chest, numbing the unbearable ache of loss. The heat pooling in her belly stained her cheeks a dazed pink, mirroring the red on her lips and burgundy clinging to her skin.

Once, wearing red had been a gift to Ethan. Tonight, wearing it was a punishment. She would make him appreciate the poison on her lips. Even better, he could see this red lipstick smeared on another man’s lips.

Armed with a tequila buzz, Charlie only had an eye for revenge. The alcohol did nothing to quiet her desperation to make Ethan squirm. If anything, it silenced the only remnant of reason she still had.

Charlie couldn’t make Ethan realize the errors of his ways or drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness. She couldn’t even make him feel the same pain she felt tonight, but she could make Ethan pay.

He’d understand how it felt to invest everything into a man who’d spent years warning her of his true nature. He’d know what it meant to pledge his soul to someone who could disregard under the guise of self-righteousness. He’d feel the desperation and shame of a woman made unhinged.

It would be enough to make him feel the way she felt screaming at him in the hallway – helpless and righteous and violently disappointed. It was so strange that the person who understood her completely only a few days ago now fundamentally misunderstood her and her deepest needs.

She was looking at a stranger, but it was a stranger she knew so perfectly that a part of him resided in her soul.

She didn’t dare look at her reflection that night when she applied her red lipstick in a dingy bar bathroom. She wouldn’t have liked this version of herself. But right now, when the world was collapsing and everything was broken, Charlie knew she needed to kiss someone else, and she needed Ethan to see it.

That’s why she was here. She knew he’d go to Donahue’s tonight.

Ethan was too proud to take a public fight like that without needing a drink, especially when he didn’t have the privilege of having the last word. He’d want to drown himself in the bottle to avoid facing his reflection. And a small part of her whispered that he wouldn’t want to go home alone and be reminded that she wouldn’t be there to warm his bed.

Charlie picked up her fourth drink – a tequila soda with lime – and ignored the warning stares of her friend. As she sipped on the bubbly soda, she had a passing thought that she didn’t have to do this. She still had time to back out.

But Charlie brushed off the thought with an exaggerated grunt of distaste. She didn’t like feeling weak and out of control. She didn’t like that Ethan had positioned himself as the authority in this conflict. She needed something entirely her own, and her self-doubt only made her more convinced of her need to follow through with the plan.

She took another gulp of liquid courage and eyed the crowd.

Almost immediately, she caught the eye of Jeremy – a surgical intern who had a habit of flirting with her on consults. Ethan used to say how much he disliked Jeremy, though he’d never admitted he was jealous of the flirting.

That’s him, she thought, That’s my target.

Charlie held Jeremy’s gaze, pairing an exaggerated expression of innocence with a coy smile. He fell for it instantly, losing interest in his passing conversation. He looked around the bar, unsure her display was truly for him. Once satisfied that her attention belonged to him, Jeremy picked up his beer and moved through the bar with a grandiose sense of confidence – as if she hadn’t just watched him doubt that he was even the one she was looking at.

“Dr. Greene,” Jeremy greeted, offering a lopsided smile he thought was sexy. She fought the urge to recoil.

“Jeremy,” Charlie drew out the syllables of his name, emphasizing it to remind him they were no longer in the hospital walls.

“I haven’t seen you out in a long time, Charlie,” he repeated her gesture, leaning closer.

He smelled like beer and overzealous cologne, and Charlie’s nose prickled with the odor.

“It’s been a while,” she confessed, a smile still plastered on her lips.

“What’s the occasion?” he leaned even closer, and now, she could smell his breath. Beer and tobacco with pungent spearmint – an effort to hide the smoking or lure in a date for the night. She didn’t like the idea of either.

“Just wanted a night to not think about work,” Charlie lied.

“Now, I am very good at that.”

“Are you?” Charlie smirked. Of course, he was good at forgetting about work. He’d forgotten about half the consults he was supposed to finish this week.

“Let me show you by buying you a drink.”

This time, Charlie’s smile was genuine.

“You’re on,” Charlie added coolly, “but you better live up to the challenge.”

Just as she expected, his pride prickled at the provocation, and he led her to the bar like a man who had just won the best prize at the fair – even though she hadn’t engineered the whole thing. He ordered her a drink – another tequila soda – and didn’t notice how Reggie glared at him the entire time. Reggie cast Charlie a passing glance, and she averted her eyes in shame. Unfortunately, Ethan’s best friend and trusted bartender had to be complicit in her ploy, but the momentary embarrassment didn’t deter Charlie, even if she could no longer make eye contact with her favorite bartender.

Instead, she turned her attention back to Jeremy.

Up close, he didn’t improve much. His smile was too uneven, and his hair was too blonde. He looked too soft and sheltered. Fractures readily appeared in his ego, too. He wanted her to like him so much that she thought he might burst if she didn’t, yet he treated her with calculated indifference. He didn’t care much about what she said, which was fine by Charlie. She didn’t want to talk to him anyway.

Now that she sat here, she couldn’t remember why she’d ever thought about flirting back during their workplace encounters. A small voice whispered that he was so unappealing tonight because she was subconsciously comparing him to Ethan – a standard he could never overcome. But that voice could be drowned out with more alcohol.

When Jeremy began his second story about the epic surgery he’d shadowed this week, Charlie almost lost her will to carry on.

But then she felt it.

The change in the air.

The hushed, respectful silence.

The scent of sandalwood subtly drifting through the crowded room, reminding her of the nights spent sleeping in his shirts.

She felt Ethan’s presence.

It infuriated Charlie how much her body remembered and her mind betrayed.

She seemed to belong to him even when she was hell-bent on destroying him. In her grand act of defiance, she was just a pawn – to her boyfriend determined to hide her or a billionaire willing to do anything to save his wife or a killer virus threatening to take it all away. Once again, Charlie was weak.

Fury flared in her chest, burning bright red and blurring her vision with dreams of reclaimed strength. Fuck Bloom. Fuck Edenbrook. Fuck everything and everyone who screwed her over.

And most importantly – fuck Ethan Ramsey.

Charlie boldly leaned forward, so close that her curls brushed against Jeremy’s shirt. Eyes wide and lips parted, she stared at Jeremy like he was the god he imagined himself, and Jeremy choked on his beer in surprise. It was a flattering reaction, but Charlie didn’t notice.

All she cared about was the heat of Ethan’s stare burning into her skin, searching for some reminder of his claim on her. His eyes could have pierced her skin, teetering between sharp anger and fiery jealous.

Ethan was furious, and that made her smile.

“I’m so glad I found you tonight,” Charlie bit on her lower lip, eyes twinkling as she placed a hand on Jeremy’s thigh. Jeremy sputtered, and Charlie watched Ethan fume out of the corner of her eye.

He felt it.

Fuck, yes, Ethan felt it.

Charlie felt powerful and vindicated. It was intoxicating, and Charlie couldn’t get enough. She had to push him farther, to make him feel more. She didn’t care if she was dangerously close to a cliff if it meant Ethan would fall with her.

Ethan wanted to burn the fucking bar down. He pushed his way through the throng of residents with callous disinterest, his eyes never leaving Charlie and that fucking idiot. Jeremy Dagenhart? That little shit.

He didn’t deserve her attention. Ethan did.

That was his smile.

His girlfriend.

Fuck, that was even the lipstick he gave her!

Ethan fell into his usual barstool with so much force and fury that the wood nearly splintered. He imagined all the ways he could kill Dagenhart. Ethan could give him a rare disease, if he had the patience. Poisoning his drink would be faster. Skinning him alive would be more satisfying.

Wordlessly, Reggie delivered the scotch he’d prepared when he’d caught on to Charlie’s gambit, and Ethan gulped it down, failing to savor the expensive scotch. It burned his throat like a knife slicing through him, gaining momentum as the alcohol fought against the growing anger. He shoved the glass back on the bar so hard that the glass nearly shattered. Reggie expertly refilled it before Ethan could bark out a request.

Ethan couldn’t stop watching. He knew he was being watched, too. Behind him, he heard the whispers. He knew this entire charade was just as much for them as it was for him. He knew that his behavior was alarming and would find its way Bloom’s office.

But…

This was his Charlotte! His beautiful, wonderful Charlotte. The blonde hair that splayed across his pillow. The laugh that echoed in his apartment. The smell of coconut and vanilla that lingered in his sheets.

Charlotte Greene was the love of his life.

Ethan watched her with blazing jealousy. He watched her hand caress another man, her smile enchant another man, her body pressed against another man.

He couldn’t stand it.

Ethan had to scream. He had to make a scene. He had to show everyone – Charlotte especially – that Charlotte was his. He had to prove that their relationship was not just something; it was everything. He couldn’t allow everything to disappear like a bad dream. He couldn’t be replaced so easily…

One night.

It took her one fucking night.

Had he meant that little? Was he the only one so desperately in love?

His deep-rooted abandonment issues prickled at his consciousness, begging to roar back to life and add to the fire. Ethan couldn’t stand it. For fuck’s sake, he had to do something.

Ethan stood, not knowing what he would even do. Scream? Punch the guy? Drag Charlie out of this bar and beg her to forgive him?

Whatever he was going to do, it didn’t matter.

Because Charlie leaned in to kiss Jeremy.

Her lips parted, and she held her head high – like a woman who knew she’d won. Her lips brushed on the edge of his mouth, poised to whisper a suggestive secret, but from across the bar, she caught sight of a pair of hollow blue eyes.

Instantly, they were both sober, and all the fury and vendettas disappeared and all they were left with was a deep sense of regret.

All the life drained out of Ethan when he saw her lipstick smear on Jeremy’s skin. The blinding jealousy soured into betrayal. Charlie couldn’t fathom the look in his eyes – the dejection and unbridled pain.

Like Charlie was always bound to abandon him and Ethan was always meant to disappoint. Caught in their predestined roles and assigned trauma, Charlie wished she could step off the stage.

And just like that, the coin landed.

Charlie loved Ethan.

She loved him so much she couldn’t breathe. Her love swarmed her every nerve burned with emotion. It swept her up with such intensity that she could see nothing else. She loved him. She loved him! And… and she’d hurt him.

Staring directly at Ethan, ignoring the man who had become nothing more than an extra in a failed revenge montage and Charlie opened her mouth to speak. For a moment, she thought she might apologize to him – no, she knew she would. The painful throbbing in her chest demanded she did.

But as much as she couldn’t stomach what she’d done, she couldn’t apologize to Ethan.

She couldn’t crawl back into his bed and allow resentment to flourish. She couldn’t settle for less when she’d already demanded more – when she deserved more.

Ethan still couldn’t give her what she needed. Punishing him or apologizing did nothing to change that. The realization hit her like a sucker punch. She was so hellbent on revenge that she never considered the possibility that she would end the night with more anguish and shame than she had that morning. She forgot that pain wasn’t finite and injuring him wouldn’t be enough to heal her.

Hating him wouldn’t cure her, nor would loving him.

Nothing could cure her.

All she had to keep her warm was her regret – she shouldn’t have loved him. She shouldn’t have hurt him. She shouldn’t have done any of it. The fact that she had done it all would haunt her, just like he would haunt her.

Charlie’s cheeks burned with shame, and her mind swam with hopelessness.

She couldn’t fix this. She couldn’t fix them.

Faced with no other option, Charlie did the only thing she could – she ran.

Tossing out a weak excuse to Jeremy, Charlie rushed to the backdoor of Donahue’s and ran to the back alley. As the door slammed behind her, she gulping in the fresh air and heaved with desperation, waiting for the bitter cold air of this fucking city to give her some clarity.

Ethan flexed, his muscles instinctively knowing if it was his duty to be there when Charlie cried. Ethan took a step to follow, but he still didn’t know what he would do when he reached her. Scream? Cry? Beg for her forgiveness? Something told him that he couldn’t do any of it, and even if he did, it wouldn’t be enough.

Sienna didn’t hesitate.

She jumped up from her booth, abandoning everything for Charlie.

Sienna loves Charlie, he realized, She loves her better than I do.

The discomfort of knowing that his love was so inadequate compared to Sienna’s stalled him, and instead of chasing after the woman he loved, he stood still.

If I go, I’ll only make it worse, he thought.

But when he sat back down, he knew it was a lie. He was just a proud coward. His greatest sin was lying to them both by saying he could be more than that.

Outside, Charlie still hadn’t found a way to breathe. Everything was a choked sob, and she couldn’t tell if she was screaming or if her cries just felt like wails. The violence of her grief rocked her and left her unsteady.

“Charlie!” Sienna ran through the backdoor of the bar, ignoring the onlookers who glimpsed at the brief opening. All she cared about was Charlie, and upon seeing her, she sprinted towards her, wrapping Charlie in a hug before Charlie could process her presence.

Charlie crumbled into Sienna, gasping through sputtering cries.

“It’s okay,” Sienna soothed her, rubbing a circle on her back as she encouraged, “Cry all you need.”

“I kissed another guy,” Charlie managed, words garbled with tears.

“Barely.”

“I came to this fucking bar because I wanted to make Ethan jealous, and now I feel horrible.”

“That’s okay, Charlie.”

“I barely even did anything,” she heaved, “And it’s killing me. I saw his face, and I just… I…”

Charlie trailed off, dissipating into another round of heart-shattering sobs. Holding her, Sienna felt herself tear up, too.

“I love him so much,” Charlie’s voice cracked.

“I know,” Sienna sighed.

“I don’t know how to live without him – I really don’t,” Charlie confessed, “And I feel so fucking pathetic for it.”

“You’re not pathetic. You’re in love. It’s different.”

“He told me from the very beginning,” Charlie tightened her grip on Sienna, “He told me he would hurt me! And I knew it, too. For fuck’s sake, he’d already done it once. I spent that whole summer trying to become myself again, and just when I had, I went right back to his doorstep. I brought him back into my life, and I spent the last year lying to myself that he wouldn’t hurt me again.”

“You believed in him,” Sienna cooed, empathy coating Charlie with enough strength to catch her breath.

“I don’t know how to make my own coffee,” Charlie’s voice dropped. It slowly dawned on her that this was life.

She had to cry in back alleys in cold cities, wake up in the morning, and make her coffee. The daunting task of living the echoes of their life together haunted her like the ghost of all her past sins rolled into one man.

“I’ll teach you,” Sienna assured her.

She didn’t want Sienna’s coffee. She wanted Ethan’s.

“I’m so jealous of Ethan,” Charlie laughed – a sound marred by remaining sobs and lingering disappointment, “When everything went to hell last time, he got to run away to the Amazon. And we were only together for a weekend! This was a year. Hell, it was a fucking lifetime.”

“It was less than a year,” Sienna corrected with a soft smile, and she was relieved when Charlie laughed.

“Still. After a weekend, he got to run away to another continent, and after ‘less than a year,’ I’m shackled to Boston, where everything reminds me of what I’ve lost. Every time I step foot in that damn hospital, I feel like I’m followed by ghosts.”

Sienna paused, taking time to appreciate her words before she spoke. She didn’t want to say this. She didn’t want to lose anyone else, but looking at Charlie’s broken and despondent figure, Sienna knew she had to say it.

“Maybe it’s time you got the chance to run away, too. If anyone deserves a break, it’s you.”

Charlie’s lips parted, but she never spoke. She was stuck on the idea – on the freedom it presented. She knew she couldn’t. It would harm her career. It would mean giving up on Boston, and even temporary failure was too much to stomach.

But running away…

She’d never felt so relieved as when she imagined it.

“Maybe,” Charlie echoed weakly.

Sienna smiled sadly, squeezing Charlie again before finally untangling their embrace, “How about we go home?”

“You’re dragging me out of a bar because I cried?”

“I’m dragging you out of a bar because you’ve been through hell, and you deserve to cry and eat ice cream on our couch.”

Charlie was in no position to fight her. She would have rather died than walk back in that bar and face anyone who had just seen that shitshow, especially Ethan. It shattered her just to make eye contact. Anything more might actually kill her.

“I left my jacket inside,” Charlie chewed on her lower lip, debating abandoning the jacket in the bar to maintain her pride. She had other jackets…

“I’ll go get it,” Sienna offered, “I need to get my stuff anyway.”

“Okay.”

“Charlie.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

Charlie’s lips parted in a smile, and she meekly said, “I love you, too, Sienna.”

Satisfied that Charlie was okay to be left alone, Sienna crept back into the bar, hoping to garner as little attention as possible. A few residents noticed her, though they averted their eyes out of respect. Jeremy was still at the bar, looking confused and mildly embarrassed from all the attention. And Ethan – Ethan was standing by the door.

Sienna jumped when she saw him, startled to find him so close.

He hadn’t had the strength go out there, but he had to be near Charlie.

“Is she all right?” he blurted out as soon as Sienna was close enough.

“No,” Sienna responded icily. It was impossible to see her best friend so devastated and not instantly hate the man who caused it. “What the hell happened?”

“I – well, we had a fight – and she was mad and I – I don’t …” Ethan stammered, shaking his head before finally accepting, “It’s my fault.”

“I assumed so.”

“Do you think I should…” Ethan wistfully looked to the door, “Should I talk to her?”

Sienna knew Charlie was fragile. One longing, loving look from Ethan and she might fold.

“Can you fix it?”

“What?”

“If you talk to her, will you make it right? Are you going to be what she needs, or are you just going to hurt her again?”

Ethan was taken aback. He hadn’t expected such bluntness from Sienna.

If Ethan didn’t have solutions, all he would do was hurt her. Charlie deserved better.

And fuck, Ethan still didn’t know how to fix it. He was a cancer to Charlie’s life. He killed all the best parts about her and still asked for more. He was too much of a coward to even comfort her outside, yet he wanted her now. He hadn’t changed his mind – he still wanted to keep their relationship a secret and protect her career. He’d already done too much to hurt her. He couldn’t also takeaway the one thing she’d worked her entire life to achieve.

“No.”

Sienna sighed in disappointment.

Ethan did, too. He probably hated himself more than Sienna did in this moment.

“Then, no, you shouldn’t go outside.”

He knew she was right. That was the worst part.

“Is she okay though?” he asked so softly that Sienna hardly recognized the voice.

He didn’t deserve to know she would be all right, yet looking at him now, Sienna couldn’t deny him that one comfort.

“She will be.”

“I love …” Ethan stopped himself, dropping her gaze as he silently chastised himself. He didn’t deserve to say he loved her. “I’ll pay for your ride home. Just make sure she’s okay.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. We both know I don’t deserve it.”

She didn’t correct him.

Instead, Sienna walked to her table, collected her bag, grabbed Charlie’s jacket, and gathered her friends to rally around Charlie. Sienna, Aurora, Kyra, and Jackie quietly filtered out of the bar. A few minutes later, they took the car Ethan called for them. By the time they got back to the apartment, Charlie’s favorite takeout food was waiting at the door, ordered in Sienna’s name to hide his tracks. In the morning, she’d get flowers – again signed by Sienna because Charlie didn’t need to feel guilty for the gift.

But tonight, Ethan raised a toast to himself and how he’d fucked everything up.

Not that he deserved all of the blame.

But they each took it for themselves anyway.

-----

A/N: I'm nervous I'm making them too frustrating/annoying, but I adore my dramatic, angsty characters.

[vague-humanoid]

Successful national talk show host Phil Donahue, who entertained, challenged and informed two generations of daytime television viewers, died on Sunday night following a long illness, Variety has confirmed. He was 88.

The news of his death was first announced Monday morning on the “Today” show. “Groundbreaking TV talk show journalist Phil Donahue died Sunday night at home surrounded by his wife of 44 years Marlo Thomas, his sister, his children, grandchildren and his beloved golden retriever Charlie,” his family said in a statement. “Donahue was 88 years old and passed away peacefully following a long illness.”

The pioneering, issue-oriented “The Phil Donahue Show” was picked up for national syndication in 1969, was redubbed “Donahue” in 1974 and eventually reached more than 200 stations across the country. It ran until 1996, when the daytime talkshow landscape had changed radically into a tabloid circus and competitors including Oprah Winfrey had drawn away his female viewership. While Donahue was not above resorting to sensationalist topics, his show was still rather tame compared to the imitators like “Sally Jesse Raphael” and “Jerry Springer” that followed.

his show got cancelled for opposing the attack on Iraq