#Do writers ever actually sleep or do we exist off of anything but?

[abyssalwriter]

Why is it that 12am - 5am writing is like the best layout for things at the time, then you go back and wonder what your brain was thinking because clearly it wasn't?

I've got this fanfiction I'm working on. (Trash I know, but I'm writing it for a reason.) It's like, my child right now. I love it, so far only two chapters one borders 4k words. Yet, I've started on the third chapter and one part I shared to who is basically my editor. (She dosen't actually edit it, just gives me suggestions and ways to improve it.) She pointed out she could clearly tell that it was written at 5am my time, and pointed out some things. I have no idea how she can tell, maybe because it's choppy and stuff?

But I wrote something before working on the chapter and it wasn't as choppy. So now it's time to hop over and edit it and try to fill in the rest of the page. It's got 5 pages more to fill before it gets thrown to people.

All in the name of finding my style of writing permanently so I can finally bring this 7-8 year old WIP to life.

[shantechni]

"2012 Mikey is Abused" and other constant complaints that, quite frankly, don't make sense

Since one Reddit user (who shall remain anonymous) inadvertently made me type out an essay I intended to write and post in a more coherent manner at a later date, I will be using their comment and my response.

Anyways, the comment itself starts off fairly normal and agreeable:

But then I see the next three points and my sleep-deprived mind just goes off the rails, so let's start with the second point:

Let me preface this by saying I absolutely do not condone the writing here because everyone under the sun will agree that we could've easily had the "Karai is our sister!?" plot twist without Leo and Karai briefly developing feelings for each other.

The problem is that this brief development of feelings is wildly blown out of proportion by the fandom, so much so that it makes it seem as though Leo and Karai actually had anything legitimate going on between them.

The "incest-eqsue garbage" between Leo and Karai is almost nonexistent outside of the writing room. They openly crush on each other for a whopping six episodes by way of verbally teasing each other and being at odds before Karai tells Leo that she's the Shredder's daughter. That's it. He is not pursuing her after that (hardly ever did, not even to the extent that Donnie pursues April) and Karai isn't remotely fond of him anymore after he broke their deal. Then, after we find out alongside Splinter that she's actually his daughter, he tells Leo towards the end of Follow the Leader. We don't get a reaction, actually nothing on Leo's side since the Foot Clan is mostly absent with April being the main point of conflict, even in Target: April O'Neil because April's forgiveness of the turtles is the main focus.

Leo eventually attempts to tell Karai the truth in Wormquake! and The Manhattan Project and she obviously doesn't believe the poor guy, she just wants to kill the turtles and Splinter at this point. Leo doesn't tell her because "he still likes her", but because, in his own words, it would change everything. She deserves to know the truth and Splinter shouldn't have his own daughter cursing him at every waking moment. When she tricks the gang into bringing her to the lair under the guise of her finally accepting the truth, Leo is ecstatic and his first thought is for her and Splinter to make amends. He's upset that Raph still can't fully trust her in the end when she fought alongside them (who can blame Raph though, he's cradling an unconscious brother after a plan gone awry), and that's the end of that.

They dedicate two episodes to the guys attempting to rescue her because Leo has enough brain cells to worry about what the Shredder could be doing with her, and Raph makes a jab at Leo on one instance when they find her (there is absolutely no romantic undertone, Raph just picks at his old crush on her and their tendency to tease each other at the worst times). Then, when she wants to get back at the Shredder for ripping her away from a life she never knew was her's, Leo attempts to aid her because he knows it isn't wise to face someone like that alone, especially with his henchmen there.

There's one last self-aware jab at their past feelings in S5, of which Karai awkwardly remembers and forgoes mentioning, and that's the last you see or hear of that.

As much as I dislike it, I'd take this narrative over the Donnie-April-Casey hurricane any day.

It seems that 2012 Mikey's mere existence is a sore spot for fans because Jesus Christ this gets brought up way too much.

Mikey is not written as a complete idiot, he's written as someone who doesn't see a reason to take everything so seriously, has odd habits, and doesn't always think things through, yet is shown to be highly capable and intelligent when the situation calls for it. Yes the writers left much to be desired at times, but to say they wrote him to be a "complete idiot" and left it at that is just offensive. I'll ignore all the miraculous things Mikey can do with Kraang stuff and Dimension X and focus on what other things he's shown to be capable of.

Mikey was a temporary learning model for Donnie in how to fight without thinking, or in better terms, how to fight instinctually without becoming bogged down by your own mind. Splinter's lesson is shown in a comedic manner, but that's ultimately what helped Donnie defeat Falco.

Another interesting thing is his ability to keep his composure when no one else around him can do so. I mentioned this briefly in another post, but it really stands out to me how he put Leo at the top of his priority list in Invasion Part 2. He's as worried for Splinter as Raph and Donnie are, but they have with them a crippled and unconcious Leo who needs medical attention asap, compared to martial arts master Splinter who's older and wiser than the three of them combined at times. Even when they eventually find Splinter and lose him, he keeps the gang in line by reminding them, as well as himself, that Splinter can take care of himself.

Along with that is when Splinter was kidnapped in The Manhattan Project. Mikey was quick to intervene when Raph was angry with Leo for allowing Tiger Claw to coax him into calling Splinter, and he reminded the two of the problem at hand: they have Splinter, let's go find him and take him back. There are so many other moments when he becomes the levelheaded one in response to the chaos or disorder surrounding him.

Mikey is a highly skilled fighter, he's emotionally intelligent, he remembers the weirdest things that eventually aid the team, he's street smart, he's a fast learner (ex: Bradford's secret kata, as well as the temporary use of the plasma katana in Target: April O'Neil), he's great at distracting enemies without needing to become bait, he gets insecure about things, he has photographic memory, he's the most outgoing of his brothers and therefore ends up with the most friends, he's quick to adapt to a situation and think of a plan, he can throw together seemingly random ingredients to create exactly what Donnie would struggle to create, he knew exactly what to do to find Casey after his run-in with Tiger Claw, the list goes on.

Heck, just to add to this, Mikey is the one who saves the day in three separate stories in S5. 1) His temporary electric powers save the world from Dregg and the Newtralizer, 2) he convinced Frankenstein's monster to join their side, retrieved the scepter from Savanti and Dracula (he accidentally broke the scepter while he was at it, but that helped) and cured Raph and Donnie of their vampirism, and 3) he was the one who repaired Kavaxas' seal and made him reopen the portal to the Netherworld so the dead could return.

The brothers don't always take him as seriously as they should or listen to him, and that's understandable at times, but when they do, they're reminded of the fact that Mikey, in his own way, is intelligent.

If I had a dime for every comment I've seen about this, I'd be rich enough to buy the TMNT series from Viacom and right every wrong they made with the 2012 series.

These abuse allegations are as bad as people putting Markiplier in the same tweet as problematic Youtubers and saying something wild like, "these content creators should've been cancelled a long time ago." I feel like people who say the brothers abuse Mikey are either an only child or genuinely have a warped sense for what actually counts as abuse, and I'm not even trying to be mean, those are just my thoughts. I shouldn't even have to comment on this, but the fact that people are still seriously believing that to this day is shocking.

Would you also like to say that Raph was abused in Turtle Temper when Splinter had the boys ceaselessly taunt him in that little exercise? Or that the boys abused Raph everytime they downplayed his anger? Or that Raph abused Donnie by threatening to hit him if he didn't find Snakeweed's hideout? Or that Leo abused Donnie everytime he stressed him out by rushing him for answers? Or that Donnie abused Mikey because Mikey flinched 2cm to the right when Donnie raised his hand to playfully knock at his noggin? Or that Leo was abused by the team because they took forever to view him as their leader? Or that Splinter abused the boys because he was "too rough" on them during training?? Or that April abused Donnie because she "constantly led him on"? Or that Xever and Bradford abused Baxter???

I'm losing my mind over here

Mikey is never physically or emotionally abused by his brothers, the show speaks for itself. But if you somehow aren't listening, go look up a textbook example of abuse, or better yet, look at Karai.

Abuse is the Shredder locking Karai in a dungeon when she tries to escape to her real family and going so far to become a peak manipulator by saying Karai was hurting him by making him lock her away. Worse than that, he starts brainwashing her with mind controlling worms so she has no choice but to obey him. Even before then, he's lowkey uncaring of her wellbeing: he treats her like any other soldier of his and doesn't listen to her when she tries to tell him something. He doesn't address her concerns about the Foot bots nearly finishing her off, instead telling her, "disobedience comes with a stiff penalty, especially for my daughter," when she objects to him telling her not to take action against the turtles while he's gone.

He only ever pays her any attention or gives her praise when it benefits him and his vendetta against Splinter.

Splinter and the turtles are the farthest thing from the image of a family filled with abusers. Raph openly apologizes to Mikey when Splinter tells him to stop picking at him in Shellacne, Raph comforts Donnie when the brainiac is somber after forcing Timothy into the equivalent of a cold sleep, Raph apologizes when his anger gets the better of him and he hits Leo harder than intended, Donnie apologizes when he realizes he shouldn't insult Raph when the guy is visibly upset, Leo regrets doubting Donnie about Metalhead, etc., etc.

Even beyond apologies, Raph is the quickest to entertain Mikey and vice versa during a mundane moment, Donnie never kicks Mikey out of the lab, Leo plays around with Mikey when the situation doesn't call for him to be their fearless leader, and Splinter is quick to advise Mikey during Karai's Vendetta and Shellacne. There are even times when the guys just go along with Mikey's antics because there's no harm in doing so, and often times Mikey needs a moment to be silly.

If you think play fighting, teasing, or getting a little physical with a sibling is the equivalent of abuse, particularly in the context of TMNT of all things, you need to do some re-evaluation.

[imaginespazzi]

Our Little Corner of Eternity

A little peek into what happens after they find eternity

(In which an angst writer realizes maybe she kind of enjoys writing fluff and this is the outcome)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Fluff, fluff and more fluff

Words: 2.0K

TW: Explicit-ish sexual content (right at the beginning if you want to skip like 10 line dents to avoid it)

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 We're gonna keep doing these here because I think it works better. Anyways, I know I said I'd give y'all part 1 of the UCLA fic as "pick me up" and I tried so hard to finish it last night but everything I wrote was just so meh and I kinda need that series to be exactly what I want it to be. So instead y'all get an actual "pick me up" in the form of a Here's To Eternity epilogue/Valentine's day (week?) fic with fluffy happiness and cute little kids. Can y'all believe I chose to write fluff instead of angst? Like who am I? Anyways I wrote this all last night and so the editing exists but is *minimal* and so absolutely tell me any mistakes. One day I'll stop doing long author's notes I swear. Anyways (take a shot every time I say that), I hope y'all enjoy this and hopefully y'all get part 1 soon too! <3

***

“Happy Valentine’s day baby,” a voice whispers into Paige’s ears, followed by a litany of kisses being peppered onto her skin, starting at her cheeks and then to her neck. She smiles, eyes still closed, relishing the feeling of getting a rare quiet morning in her wife’s arms. Her hands come up to hold Azzi’s hips as she straddles her thighs. A low whine escapes her lips, when the younger woman bites against her shoulder, hands moving to caress Paige’s exposed stomach, fingers dancing experimentally against the waistband of boxers. 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” Paige warns; she doesn’t mean it one bit. 

“Who said I couldn’t finish it?” her wife retorts snarkily and Paige can hear the smirk in her voice, “when have I ever left you unfinished.”

Azzi continues to tease, sucking marks into Paige necks, her hands creeping into Paige boxers, hovering but not touching. Anticipation burns in her core as Paige thrusts against the brunette’s still fingers, trying to create the friction she’s desperately craving. 

“So wet for me already,” Azzi whispers, nibbling at Paige’s earlobe “but you have to ask for what you want sweetheart.”

She brushes her fingers lightly against the exact spot she knows Paige wants them, feather light and not anywhere near as hard or fast as the blonde needs it and is rewarded with a breathy moan. 

“Words baby, words,” Azzi presses her fingers a little harder as she places a kiss on the edge of Paige’s lips. She moves away immediately when the older woman tries to pull her into an actual kiss, giggling when Paige pouts, “morning breath.” 

“I hate you,” the blond breathes out, still not opening her eyes

“Do you now?” Azzi teases, finally swirling a finger inside, arching it just right and the sound Paige lets out is practically pornographic. 

She’s about to give in and beg like she knows Azzi has been waiting for her to do when a loud knock on the door throws any chance of morning sex out the window. 

“Mommy? Mama?” a small voice calls out. It’s almost offending the speed with which Azzi climbs off of her, immediately rushing into their ensuite bathroom to clean off her fingers. Paige groans at the loss of contact, eyes finally opening. 

“Maybe if we don’t say anything they’ll leave,” she says petulantly. 

“MOMMY? MAMA?” there’s two voices now, both screaming at the top of their lungs. 

“We’re sleeping,” Paige yells back but she can’t help the fond smile that appears on her face. 

“I swear I have three children,” Azzi mutters under her breath, as she reappears from the bathroom, shooting Paige a disapproving glance. Her wife raises her hands in mock surrender as she finally sits up. Shaking her head at Paige’s smirk, Azzi opens the door to reveal the two tiny little humans that she’s still a little shocked to say are her children. 

“Mommy,” the two of them squeal, grabby hands wrapping around Azzi’s knees and she can’t help but laught. She’s loved a lot of people in her life, her parents, her brothers, Paige but the love she feels for her twins, it’s a whole other level. She'd die for them in a heartbeat and if necessary, she’d kill the whole world for them. 

Paige’s heart swells as she watches Azzi fall to her knees and wrap their twins in a bear hug, pressing kisses that elicit happy giggles all over their chubby cheeks. She’s been lucky enough to earn plenty of accolades and awards but the three people tangled in a mess of limbs on her bedroom floor, this is her greatest gift.

“Guess you’ve all forgotten me,” Paige pouts, from where she’s still sprawled in the bed. That’s all it takes for the two children to catapult onto the bed, both of them jumping on top of Paige, their combined weight causing her to fall back down and laughter echoes through the bedroom. 

“We could never forget you Mama,” Sienna says diligently and she has a lisp from her first tooth falling out. Miles doesn’t say anything, simply burrowing his head further into Paige’s neck but she can feel him smiling against her skin. 

“Because I’m your favourite right?” Paige asks, voice very serious and it earns her an eye roll from Azzi. 

“Silly Mama,” Sienna shakes her head, tiny hands framing her mother’s face, “you can’t have a favourite mom.”

Azzi ruffles her daughter’s hair, coming to sit beside the three of them, “you’re so smart Si.”

“And me Mommy?” Miles peeks out from Paige’s neck, looking expectantly at his other mother. 

“You too Mi,” Azzi assures fondly. 

It’s funny how the couple of minutes of age difference between the twins shows so clearly sometimes. Sienna, the older one, always acts just a little bit wiser. Paige’s mom says she’s five going on fifty. And Miles is still a baby, one hand always attached to one of his mother’s as he watches his sister run wild. They couldn’t be more opposite. They couldn’t be more like a little part of Paige and Azzi. 

“We have a gift for you Mama,” Sienna says proudly jutting out her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, Paige can see Azzi grinning and her curiosity keens. 

“For me?” Paige pulls herself up, bringing her son who’s still clinging to her neck up with her, “what for darling?”

This time it’s Miles who replies matter-of-factly, “because it’s Valentine’s day Mama. And we love you.”

It shouldn’t affect her this much anymore, her son telling her he loves her. Miles has said it to her plenty of times at this point but each time he does, Paige feels her heart burst open in happiness. 

“Well, where is it?” she asks, pretending to search for it under Miles’s shirt and then behind Sienna’s ear. It earns her a shriek of laughter and to top it off, a radiant smile from her wife. 

“Go get it Si,” Azzi urges and obediently Sienna does as she’s told. 

“You know what it is?” Paige asks, raising her eyebrows. All she gets is a conspiratorial wink. 

“It’s a surprise Mama, Mommy can’t tell you,” Miles warns and Azzi immediately puts a hand to her lips and nods. 

It doesn’t take long for Sienna to come skipping back in. In her hands is a neatly wrapped box with a bow in it. It’s relatively small and Paige truly has no idea what it could potentially be but she knows she’ll love it no matter what. 

Sienna bounces back onto the bed, the spring of it all almost causing her to tumble backwards but Azzi’s instincts are far too sharpened to let that happen. She protectively pulls her daughter onto her lap, pressing a kiss against her temple. Of course they don’t have favourites but still it’s not hard to see how Sienna gravitates a little towards Azzi and Miles gravitates towards Paige. Azzi theorises it's probably because Miles is a little more like her and Sienna’s a little more like Paige. 

“Alright,” Paige says excitedly, as Sienna carefully hands her the present, “let’s see what this is.”

Two pairs of big doey bright eyes watch with bated breath as their mother carefully unwraps their present. The wrapping paper falls away to reveal a box covered in pictures of their family. There's pictures of her and Azzi, and pictures of them with the twins. Paige lets out a soft sob, as she realises by the slight messiness of it all that Miles and Sienna were clearly the ones to glue them onto the box. The little bits of glitter and stickers peeking out against the photographs gives it away. 

“You guys,” she whispers, “this is beautiful. I love it. Thank you.”

“You have to open it,” Sienna replies excitedly and Paige does as she’s told. She flips the lid open and gasps, eyes immediately darting towards Azzi. Her wife’s eyes are already moist as she smiles back softly. 

In the box is a set of four rings. Two large ones and two tiny ones. Not just any rings. Perfect replicas of that stupid ugly beautiful pink ring that Azzi had won at the pop-a-shot back when they were fifteen. And when she looks at them closer, Paige realises, her heart catching in her throat, that one of them isn’t a replica. It’s slightly rusted around the edges and Paige knows immediately that it’s the first ring she’d ever placed on Azzi’s fingers. 

“Baby,” she breathes, looking up at Azzi at a loss for what to say. A thousand and one memories are swirling in her head, all captioned with the thought of how did I get so lucky. 

“There’s four Mama,” Miles interrupts before Paige can say anything, “one for you, one for Mommy, one for Si and one for me!”

Paige lets out a tearful laugh at her son’s excitement as he points at each of them one by one, “I can see that Mi.”

“You have to put them on us,” Sienna tells her before thrusting her tiny hand out, “and then we’re gonna be connected for life.”

“We’re already connected for life you goof,” Paige says, as she slides one of the rings onto Sienna’s finger and then presses a kiss onto the younger girl’s palms. She turns to Miles and repeats the same actions. 

“Me first,” Azzi says when Paige turns to her, “you got to do it first when we got married.”

“It’s not a competition Az.”

“Says you,” Azzi smirks, before she grabs Paige’s hand and places the ring on her left hand, right above her actual wedding ring, “perfect.”

“You’re so cheesy. I can’t believe you kept it,” Paige says, her eyes shining as she slides the old ring onto Azzi’s ring finger. 

“It’s my engagement ring. Of course I kept it,” Azzi says with such sincerity, that Paige can’t help but lean over and kiss her. 

A chorus of “ew” breaks them apart and they’re met with two children and their crinkled noses. 

“Hmm what have I said about interrupting Mama and Mommy?” Paige asks sternly. 

“Not to do it,” the twins recite in unison. 

Paige turns to Azzi with a knowing smile, “do you think they’ve learned that Az?”

“You know what babe, I don’t think they have.”

“And what happens to children who don’t learn their lessons?” this time they both look at their children with matching grins. 

“They get TICKLED,” Paige and Azzi yell in unison. Miles and Sienna squeal with laughter as their mothers flip them onto the bed, poking at their stomachs. And it’s unclear whose hand is whose and whose legs are whose as the four of them become a pile of bodies, all of them meshing into one. 

“Okay, okay I think,” Azzi’s the first one to recover as always, “we should have pancakes for breakfast.”

“In heart shapes!” the twins squeal in unison. 

“Of course. How about the two of you go and brush your teeth and Mama and I will be down in a second okay?”

Miles and Sienna nod before jumping out of bed at their mother’s command. They sing some ridiculously out-of-tune song about pancakes as they skip out of the room. Immediately, Paige pulls Azzi back into her, slotting their legs together.

“You still owe me an orgasm.”

Azzi smiles, pressing her lips to Paige’s and then pulling away far too quickly, “I’ll give you plenty tonight. But you better match each one wifey.”

“You know I will,” Paige smirks, bringing her wife in for one last kiss before they both get up, ready for a not-so-quiet morning with their kind. 

Valentine’s day used to be different. Sometimes they never got out of bed. Sometimes they spent the day in another country. Sometimes they went on extravagant dates that felt straight out of a movie. Now, well, they’ll make pancakes with their kids and then probably watch some terrible children’s show that they’ve both, unfortunately, memorized the dialogues of. And in between, they’ll probably fall asleep on the couch and wake up to little guilty faces informing them about a spilled drink or a broken object. But it’s perfect really. As long as it’s the four of them and their little corner of eternity.

[idontplaytrack]

AGH

I'm obsessed with regressed Janis so...

Regina, Janis, and the gang go out. And Janis slips and goes non-verbal so no one knows/can really tell.

Idk

:D I love you and your work so very much, you have so much skill. Truly my favorite writer ever!!!

Fade into you

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George

Warnings: Regina snaps at Janis, fluff, age regression

‘Fade into you

Strange you never knew’

Hearing the crowds of rowdy students around them who were either joking or discussing their weekend plans, Janis couldn’t wait to get out of school grounds. The past week has been filled with quizzes and at home? Janis’ father has been arguing with her mom about every little thing— absolutely just picking a fight when there was no need for that. Janis detested having to go home to that…chaos. So often times, she spent her afternoons at the park or the public library, only arriving home just in time for bed. The girl truly did everything in her power to avoid interacting with her parents. Her mom was okay, well— Janis was really close to her mom. Her father was the problem: almost always having a drink in hand, treating women like they were supposed to wait on him hand and foot, like women were only supposed to be housewives and babymakers. Janis loathed him, Janis couldn’t have her own voice around him…they kind of just co-existed, with one person having no acknowledgement for the other. How’d this start? The bunsen burner incident that led to Janis being kicked out of school for the remainder of that year. Kawaika immediately saw her as malevolent. Like some evil incarnate, and actually cried and asked what happened to ‘the good little girl he raised’. From that day on, Janis decided she was done playing nice. She only tolerated him. Her mom Alohi, fought to get a separation but he never wanted to sign the papers, and claimed he didn’t want to break up a perfectly fine family. This family’s been far from fine as long as Janis could remember, but the more she cared, the sadder she became, the angrier she was. So, eventually, Janis became…numb. Nothing scared her anymore. Losing her best friend was rock bottom for the Hawaiian artist.

She sat in a corner of the library, cozy and with her art supplies spread out before her so she could continue working on her current piece. Lost in her own little world, earphones allowing her to listen to her favourite playlist, Janis was startled when she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Hey.” Regina slid into the chair next to hers. Janis smiled softly, “Hi.”

“Doing okay?” Regina asked quietly, “You left school so quick I didn’t even see where you were headed. Luckily we have your location.”

Yeah, that’s right. Regina was now her girlfriend. And has been for the last six months. They talked and worked things out, eventually admitting their feelings for each other and deciding to start dating after years of being apart.

Janis’ shoulders slouched, then she resumed working on her art. She didn’t want to look at Regina anymore, or Damian, who was standing next to the blonde. “You wanna go to the mall? Have some lunch? You barely ate anything at school today.”

Janis didn’t say anything but began to pack up her stuff. Slinging her backpack on her shoulder, she stood up and walked towards the door. Regina took the smaller girl’s hand in her own, and Damian followed close behind them both while they headed for Regina’s Jeep. No, correction— Gretchen’s BMW X5 SUV. Regina opened the door and Janis wordlessly got in. Damian got in last, after Regina did. Gretchen greeted Janis warmly, but the girl didn’t even do anything as much as a nod back. Gretchen didn’t take that to heart and just let her be. While the rest of the group chatted away, Janis tuned out the noise and drifted off to sleep. Last thing she heard was that Cady would meet them there since she was taking Aaron’s car instead.

Janis didn’t even register it, but she was then somehow in the mall’s food court with her friends, clinging onto her girlfriend’s arm while they all decided what to eat. Regina felt the weight and looked down at her side, “You okay, baby?” The blonde squinted, both puzzled and concerned. It was unusual for Janis to be this quiet, at first she thought Janis was just tired. And she was, but there seemed to be more to it…considering this level of clinginess. Janis finally responded, even though it was just a nod. “Let’s go get our food, okay? Then after that we can go look at some toys before going home?”

Janis continued following the taller girl around, their friends didn’t even bat an eye. The couple wound up sharing some Panda Express. Janis definitely did not want to talk so Regina didn’t force it…as much as she would rather have the girl be talking her ear off. This silence felt tense. Regina didn’t like it. But at least none of their friends were being annoying about it. Gretchen scooted closer to try to chat, still, Janis didn’t even join in the conversation. She had no clue what they were even chatting about now. All Janis knew was that she wanted to eat so she wasn’t hungry, look at some toys at the store and go home with Regina to cuddle.

Gretchen frowned, handing the Hawaiian a peppermint candy. Janis took it hesitantly but smiled before she returned to finishing up her food. “You guys want a ride home?” Gretchen asked.

“I’m uh, taking her to the toy store so you guys—”

Gretchen nodded in understanding, “I know. But I’m sure they don’t mind. They can take Aaron’s car home. Me and Karen will just follow along with you and Jay, drop you guys at yours after you’re done at the store.”

Regina hummed, “Okay, thanks, Gretch.”

“No problem.”

————

Their visit to the toy store was brief. Janis didn’t get anything from there, neither did she want anything. Once Gretchen had dropped them off at Regina’s, the blonde said goodbye to Karen and Gretchen before turning around to enter the house. Still, Janis remained absolutely silent.

Janis crawled under the covers immediately, Regina barely noticed the smaller girl moving around so quickly, so eager to be in the comfort of her girlfriend’s room.

“Wanna cuddle?” Regina asked, already knowing the answer would most likely be yes. Janis nodded, Regina opened up her arms and wrapped them around Janis, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re okay, baby. I’ve got you.” A shaky whine fell from the smaller girl’s lips. Regina rubbed her back soothingly and tilted her chin.

“You’re okay, I promise, bubs.”

Janis chewed on her lips, brown eyes wide and glossed over, just looking into Regina’s bright blue eyes. Regina’s heart clenched as she held the girl’s face in her hand, thumb caressing her cheek. Janis gulped, trying her hardest not to burst into tears. A tear slipped anyway, and Janis hastily wiped it away.

“It’s alright, sweetie.” Regina assured, “You’re safe with me, hm?”

As Janis finally allowed herself to let go of the tears, Regina engulfed her in a hug again. Janis’ face was smushed against Regina’s chest, tears seeping into her grey sweatshirt. All Regina could do was hold her close and let her know she was there. Regina knew the week’s been exceptionally difficult. Both in school and at home, Janis was also due to get her period in about a week. So all things considered, Regina couldn’t say she wasn’t expecting something like this to happen. She was simply glad that the girl now had a safe place to destress, and heal, or cope.

Sometimes, Regina was filled with guilt. Knowing she likely had a part to play in Janis’ regression. But she was also relieved in a way, age regression was a much safer coping mechanism than many others out there. Still, Regina knew Janis self-loathed and isolated until she couldn’t take it. Then…this happens. Janis would reach her limit and revert to a younger state. One where she was young enough to not have gone through any of the bad things, any of the trauma.

Sometimes, like these ones, they had a specific routine. Janis would cry it out then they’ll continue snuggling. After that, Janis would fall asleep to one of her favourite movies in the safety of Regina’s arms. Other days were…easier. Janis was happy and simply wanted to play. There’ve been times were Janis cried so hard she’d get a coughing fit, gagging and all. That made Regina feel the worse because Janis would be inconsolable, but Janis didn’t really know how else to express it other than cry.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Regina asked once Janis’d stopped crying.

“No.” Janis blubbered, voice still shaky and muffled since her face was still buried in the taller girl’s side.

“Okay, that’s okay.” Regina said softly, “What do you want?”

Janis only cried harder and buried her face deeper. Regina shushed her and continued the soothing motions of her hand up and down Janis’ back. Eventually, Janis fell asleep for a bit, and woke up asking for a snack. Regina took her downstairs to the kitchen, allowing Janis to pick what she wanted to eat and drink. Janis happily took the mini pack of chocolate chip cookies and a juice box from Regina then plopped on the living room couch to eat. Regina smiled in relief, quickly joining her and turning the TV on, putting on Tinkerbell.

Now, the silence was comfortable. So, Regina allowed herself to be less on alert but still stayed focused and present. In case Janis needed her help grabbing anything, or if she wanted to shower.

“…’m okay.”

“I know, my love.” Regina smooched her on the head again, “I know.”

“…thank you, Reggie.”

“Always, little one.” Regina chuckled, “I love you.”

Janis giggled, “Love you too.”

“How about some hot cocoa?”

Janis gasped, “Oooh. Yes, please!”

“Alrighty, let’s go make some. Then we can watch some more TV.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S07E02

Got a bit too long.

There is no way those guys manage to balance episodes better when they have a multitude of issues to deal with than when they have none. Are you kidding me?

Rear Window/Home Alone episode? What crazy genius thought of that? Where was that crazy genius in all the other seasons? I’m starting to think that these writers perform better under the immense stress of having to come up with logical plot lines for explaining character absences.

Before I forget. Dear promo department, just because the episode starts with the end scene (almost end scene) doesn’t mean you get to put that scene on the promo. 

Oh, by the way, did we ever do that? Start with a major scene and go backwards? I love that I just did a rewatch, by the way.

Charlie and Sarah moved in together (and she’s already deciding what to keep for the household, watch out, Charlie), and they just… moved in. No explanation. I guess the house was on offer? Too good of an offer to pass up, so they were like, what the hell. Can this even be aired on Up Faith and Family?

Charlie working the electronics in the new house. Lord help us. The "it's very tough to hear because you're barking" to Rex was funny.

Rex was "like that" with the old house? No, he wasn't. You're lying. Also, he's been trying to find a place to sleep because THERE ARE BOXES EVERYWHERE.

We have a great word for when a house is not yet finished and still looks like a constructions site and there is no English equivalent! Ugh.

Sarah has already started throwing away Charlie's stuff!

Lochlyn Munro was on White Chicks with John Reardon. I haven't watched that movie in some time but I still have the feeling I wanted to punch both their characters there lol

"I don't think she's coming back after that cruise". Well, you definitely jinxed her, Sarah.

I love Rex at home montages so much. And the music.

After more than 100 episodes, we finally see a cat. I wasn’t sure they existed in this universe. Also, Rex's cat plushie is 100% new.

Guns? You guys were shipping guns? What are you, Americans?

I like the throwbacks already. Even though I despise those two characters. Now I'm actually glad that I did the rewatch because while I'd remember Porter, I would definitely not remember ginger cop.

What do you mean the SJPD assigns the password purely based on someone’s name and birthday? Without any random numbers or characters??? I’m sorry but then the shitfest that inevitably followed is on the IT department. Everyone knows that most people, cops or not, will not bother to change their password. That’s why the password assigned must be RANDOM. Jesse, I’m blaming you. You’re the only IT guy in there I know.

Porter. You trusted Porter. Joe, I don’t know what to say, honestly.

Speaking of, what the actual hell do you mean IA found no further misconduct in Porter’s other cases? That’s impossible. Just this month while on my rewatch, I was writing that there is no way they won’t find anything, not with the way he handles cases. Did they even look?

“I look forward to meeting the real Rex”. Ohoho, buddy…

I like how affectionate Sarah is with Rex. 

Sarah to Rex: "Charlie understands your signals better than I do." Charlie: *attributes Rex’s barking to him smelling fertilizer, which if I recall has never happened, and almost washes away the blood off the murder weapon by accident, because he’s well versed in Rex speak* (I’m not mad. It was funny. Although I definitely called him an idiot there. Welcome back, himbo!Charlie.)

Hey, we got Charlie on his bike! On the seventh season.

I wrote a lot of things on my rewatch, most I’ve already forgotten. One thing I remember writing, was that if there are two cases that start as separate, they will magically connect at some point in the episode in almost every crime show. I feel like this show lives to prove me wrong.

Pet peeve. Jesse has his finger on the trigger the entire time during the arrest scene. It is 2025. Why did they bother to teach Justin Kelly the proper stance and didn’t bother to tell him that the index goes on the side of the frame of the firearm when they have to shove a camera on his face and arm. I'm not mad at the actor, by the way, it's not his job to know, that's technical stuff. What’s weird is that I’ve seen 100+ episodes of Hudson and Rex (102 now) and I think John Reardon has never done this? And I think that because I’d have reacted like that. In fact, I remember pointing out that he did hold it properly numerous times. So, silly me, I thought they had someone to tell them about stuff like that, at least for the main characters.

They remembered police vests! I might shed a tear.

You cannot set up a Home Alone scene and put dramatic music. Or, I guess you can, but I will still laugh. It was funny. I know that realistically, you can’t put on something like a Benny Hill music there because the entire scene will eventually lead to finding the body, but that part will be funny no matter what.

Did anyone think that something was going to happen to Charlie’s bike while on the stint? Because I did.

I’m glad that Rex turned out to be goading Arnold when he was holding the meat tenderizer and that he had already set up traps in the house because in the promo it seemed like an idiotic move. Yes, he’s a dog, but he’s a superdog and I’m used to him being smart.

The sheer amount of plush toys that Rex has... Oh. My. God. I think they moved to have more space for his plush toys, actually.

Charlie: *accusatorily* "Why is there blood on your tenderizer?" Oh my god, don’t pull out your handcuffs yet, Detective!

Thank god Rex thought to throw the paint on Arnold because it would take Charlie and Sarah another episode to figure it out, with the way they were going.

"She was gonna leave me". And... what? Now you ruined both your lives. Good job, shithead.

They're worried about the impression they made on their new neighbors? What about their old neighbors who turned up as murderer and victim?

Since when are Charlie and Sarah such proud Newfies to have a Newfoundland flag up?

Easter egg: Felipe Rodriguez's name is on the "For Sale" sign.

Yes, John Reardon’s reduced screentime is noticeable. And I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I missed Charlie and Rex’s partnership in this episode, especially following a Charlie/Rex focused season. But it is what it is. It’s also good to recognize it and to be a bit more appreciative of what he has offered in all these years to the show. On the other hand, we get to see more of Sarah, Joe, and Jesse. I know not everyone is tuning in for that, yes, the show is called Hudson and Rex. Well, tough. And I'd find it difficult for anyone to try to criticize how this season's episodes are structured without sounding like an asshole, for many reasons.

Promo: Per IMDb, there's an episode that doesn't credit John Reardon at all. I don't really see Charlie in this promo so it might be that one (although that's supposed to be the bees episode and I also don't see bees, there's only mention of oyster farms). And I'm not sure I even see Diesel in this promo, although I see Rex. Ah, the sadness of not being 10 years old anymore. They can't change dogs without me noticing.

[leaderoffestivals]

Poltergeist Epilogue 1

Natsume: By the wAY, why have you been painting on that canvas for so loNG?

Scenario Writer: Akira Season: Winter Characters: Mikejima Madara, Narukami Arashi, Sakasaki Natsume, Aoba Tsumugi

<A few days later, at the festival event held at Dancing Cranes Home.>

Madara: [HAHAHA! A RIOTOUS MYRIAD OF COLOURFUL FLOWERS! FIERY BLOOMS ARE ABOUT TO COVER THE NIGHT SKY!

LOOK UP, CHILDREN! SEE THAT EVEN IN THIS WORLD, FLAMES OF SUCH SURPASSING BEAUTY CAN EXIST AS WELL!]

Tsumugi: Seriously?! Setting off fireworks in front of children with fire-related trauma is the most thoughtless thing I’ve ever heard of. Do you not even have the smallest shred of empathy at all?

Natsume: That’s a topic you have no right to judge others oN, Senpai. BesidES, the children appear excited and are unexpectedly enjoying the shOW.

After aLL, even if someone hates bell peppers with all their heaRT, they'll think them delicious when wrapped in tasty meAT; and carrots one usually avoids like the plague will be welcomed happily when baked into a sweet caKE.

The children’s hearts and psyches seem strong and resilient enough to handle this muCH, at leaST.

HowevER, this is a brutally rough approach to theraPY. The worst case scenario could have resulted in all the children breaking down into hysterical tears and the festival being cancelED. 

Madara: Hahaha. It’s true, watching the show for too long might cause them discomfort, so I did make sure not to overdo it. However, it just isn’t a festival without fireworks, you knowww——

And we should try everything we can to lift the gloom from the children’s hearts, even if just by a little, riiight?

Arashi: That's right. We’re nothing more than temporary caregivers at Dancing Cranes Home, not meant to make a deep impact in the children’s lives, but even so—

Even if we’re just pretending or this is all just a facade, at this moment, we are the children’s guardians too. 

I want to help relieve their suffering somehow, even if what we do has only the tiniest effect. 

Arashi: ——When I was a child a lo~ng time ago, I was suffering too—

But because I was a child at the time, I didn't realise I was in pain.

It was like I was a land animal, born by mistake in the middle of the sea. And while I believed I was living the same kind of life like everyone else, I couldn’t shake the feeling I was choking and gasping for air.

It wasn’t until I began working as a child model and started comparing myself with other children——

That I realised for the first time how pitiful a child I had been.

That’s when I started to fall apart. Even though I had been absolutely fine up to that point—

With the sudden realisation of my situation, everything became overwhelming, suffocating, and terrifying.

My parents—my family—felt absolutely no interest in me at all. All of them prioritised their own lives over mine, neglecting me entirely.

But, because they justified it all saying it was done for my sake, insisting it was the “cool” way to live—

And because I didn’t know any better, I believed everything they said. 

Tsumugi: … … … It must have been hard, not receiving the love you needed from your family, huh?

Arashi: Exactly. Isn’t love supposed to be something parents give to their children without question, like regular meals or a warm bed to sleep in?

Arashi: But for me, I didn’t get any of that—or at least, I wasn’t given enough of it. That’s why I fled that home, desperately seeking out whatever it was I was missing—

But here’s the kicker—I’d no idea what I was even looking for, because my parents had never shown me what that something was.

Arashi: But then… someone came along and saved me.

He didn’t do anything extraordinary. He just, in the most ordinary way, showered me with the things my dazzling family couldn’t be bothered to do for me—

He cared for me, showed concern when I was struggling, and actually listened attentively to me when I vented about my troubles.

He saw me as a person, recognised me frankly, and treated me as an equal.

It was like he truly saw me—the real me—who was physically there yet feeling like I didn’t exist for anyone at all (2)—

And because of him, the pain I carried was eased just a little—

And for the very first time, it felt like I could actually breathe.

He brought into my life the air I so desperately craved—the kind everyone else seems to get from their parents without fail. It was like one of those fairy tales, where the prince brings the princess back to life with a kiss.

That's the reason why I still love everything about that person, to this very day.

Arashi: And that's also why… 

I want to be that person for the children who are hurting like I was——just like what he was to me.

Please don’t get me wrong, okay? I'm not doing this for you, Mama. I’m doing this purely for me.

Madara: Yup, I'm totally cool with thaaat. We're not comrades from the same Unit; we’re just colleagues who happen to work in the same place. 

However, if we’re aiming for the same goal, we should be able to join forces and work together.

That’s something I’ve learned from my time in Double Face.

Arashi: Fufufu~. Looks like Mama has achieved some personal growth too, huh? Well done, good job ♪

Madara: Hmmm? And who exactly are you to be making that comment to me?

Natsume: FufuFU. WeLL, in any caSE, Mikejima-senpai is the star of this shOW—or at leaST, officialLY, anywAY. That’s why we will be following Senpai’s leAD—

Or rathER—we’ll be providing support so you can achieve whatever it is you’re aiming fOR.

The kitten’s request to get to the bottom of what happened to her frieND, NEGI-chan, was completed pretty satisfactoriLY, if I might say sO— 

And since I’m pleased with how things turned oUT, I’ll stick around a while longer to help you out as a special serviCE.  

After aLL, I’m a childcare worker at Dancing Cranes Home tOO. I’ve got obligations and responsibilities to this place as weLL. 

Tsumugi: Exactly. We’re all part of NEW DIMENSION, and that alone is reason enough for us to support one another, don’t you think?  

Madara: Huh? NEW DIMEN—… … Ohhh, that’s NEWDI’s official name, isn’t it? We’ve been using the shortened name so often that I’ve forgotten that’s what we’re reeeally called! 

Tsumugi: Oh, come on. The bar of your loyalty is set so low, I’m honestly impressed, instead.   

Natsume: WeLL, that doesn’t really matTER, does iT? We might be the smallest and weakest of the four big agencIES, but that’s precisely why we’re free from the various pressures and constraints imposed by the higher-uPS—

Which allows our idols the freedom to do as they please and achieve the goals they set for themselVES.  

That’s a unique advantage given to us by our agenCY, wouldn’t you agrEE?

Tsumugi: Indeed, that’s true. I might be tooting my own horn here, but our agency truly is a great place, isn’t it? 

Mikejima-kun, Narukami-kun, if you both felt the same way too, nothing would make me happier as Vice-President! 

Madara: HAHAHA! Well, I guess after being here for so long, I can’t help but grow quite fond of our agency, too~.

Anyway! This isn’t the time for leisurely chit-chatting, riiight? Our time in this place is running out.

Let's proceed to the final act of our project: the festival.

Natsume: Just like we plannED, rigHT? The staff here gave us free rein over the conteNT, so we came up with the ideas togethER.

By the wAY, why have you been painting on that canvas for so loNG?

Madara: Nope, I’m not painting, I’m restoring it. I’ve already finished what you’d call the main work a while ago; I’m just putting the final touches on it now. 

Tsumugi: Wow! You’re really talented, Mikejima-kun~! You can do just about anything, can’t you?

Madara: Umu… … Look, Natsume-san. You were there with me when I found it, weren’t you? This is the large painting that had been discarded like garbage.

The painting itself isn’t anything remarkable; it’s just an ordinary piece that probably wouldn’t sell for much—

And of course, there’s no secret code hidden in it like you’d see in the movies. 

However, to the children of Dancing Cranes Home, this painting definitely meant a great deal to them—

Because this painting was always hanging in NEGI-san’s room, she who tragically died in the fire. 

Arashi: Yes, that's right. Somehow, it was protected under a collapsed wall and miraculously survived the blaze.

Since it remained intact against all odds, the children couldn't bear to see it being thrown away with the trash—

Because to them, that painting was inseparable from the memory of their beloved friend, NEGI-chan—

Forever shining brightly together in their memories.

—————-To be continued——————

Chapter 17 / Epilogue 2

Translator’s Notes:

Arashi has 2 parents and an older brother. The person who helped Arashi was Kunugi Akiomi. You can read about how they first met in the Scout story "Lookback: Portrait".

This could be a reference to a Moomin story about a little girl, Ninny, who became invisible because she was unloved, and after being cared for by Moomin, turned visible again.

This isn’t proofed, so if you spot any mistakes, please DM me.

[serrennedyanonwriter]

Guess who’s doing the hc thing? Me!

1 | 2 | 3

Anyways, this is part one of ??? I honestly don’t know how many there will be since I’m not only doing certain characters and leaving many out. Please don’t be homophobic/transphobic/etc. If you really hate this, then just scroll. Thank you!

Rebecca Chambers

Lesbian/Nonbinary/Polygamous/Aroace

I’m going to be honest when I say I hc a lot of characters as aroace and polyamorous as I myself am aroace and polyamorous, and I crave representation.

Anyway, I don’t see her dating a man. She hates them /hj

As for being nonbinary, she gives off the vibes, I don’t know how to explain it.

Continuing on, she’s also aroace as she isn’t really interested in anyone in either way. Like, it takes a lot for her to actually fall in love.

Also, she’s polyamorous because I said so, fight me /hj

Billy Coen

Straight Ally

Going to be honest when I say I’m biased when it comes to him.

I don’t really like his character, not to say no one can. Like, he has a good backstory, just don’t like the stuff he says to Rebecca, who may I remind you is 18, and judging by the fact the game takes place in July, she recently graduated, and he’s like 26.

He gives me the ick, I’m sorry, and for that reason, I don’t see him as anything but a straight-cisgendered man.

While I can attempt to ignore it as the writers being weird, I can’t do it since then I’d be biased as I’ve not done it for any other creep in the series, and I’m not going to start now.

Albert Wesker

Pansexual/Trans-Masculine/Aroace/Polyamorous

I mainly hc him as pansexual because of his VA seeing him as such, so it’s kind of semi-canon.

Plus, he hates everyone equally, and I find that to be an amazing reason to be pansexual.

Trans because my boyfriend made me realize how funny it’d be for Wesker to know of Jake’s existence, just ignores it.

Aroace as I don’t see him typically being attracted to anyone in anyway.

And polyamorous because I love shipping him with Krauser and William, so why not make him have both at the same time? /hj

William Birkin

Bisexual/Polyamorous

Remember how I said I like shipping Wesker with him? Yeah, that’s why he’s polyamorous. He has a wife AND a boyfriend.

Bisexual as he’s a men and women kisser /hj

Chris Redfield

Bisexual/Demisexual/Polyamorous

I meant it when I said I’m headcanoning a lot of bitches to be polyamorous for I crave representation.

I know a lot of people see him as a mlm gay, and before I get jumped for seeing him as bisexual, I’m also a mlm gay.

If anything, he’s more attracted to men because come on, we all seen how he looks at Leon in Vendetta, that’s not how you look at a friend-

Demisexual because vibes. I don’t see him sleeping with those he’s not particularly close with.

Polyamorous because I crave representation /hj

Jill Valentine

Bisexual/Trans-Feminine/Aroace/Polyamorous

Unlike Chris, she’s more attracted to women. She’s always thought she was a lesbian, but eventually, came to the terms she is attracted to men, just rarely does she ever do.

Trans as I view a lot of RE characters to be trans, and I’m not sorry.

Aroace and polyamorous as again, I crave representation + she doesn’t seem to be really interested in anyone throughout the series.

Barry Burton

Straight Ally

Unlike Billy, I’m not biased for him, I really don’t see him being attracted to men, just his lovely wife.

He is okay with any pronouns as well since he doesn’t really mind a they/them, she/her, xe/xem, it/its, etc. used on him, but he is cisgender.

We’ll get to Moira eventually, but I see her as trans, and Barry was very accepting of her.

Brad Vickers

Questioning/Asexual

He’s questioning as I’d like to think he’s unsure where he falls sexuality-wise. He’s well-aware that he’s not straight, but he doesn’t know fully what he is.

Asexual as I see him not being attracted to anyone like that.

Leon Kennedy

Bisexual/Trans-Masculine/Demisexual/Polyamorous

Bisexual in the way that if he hasn’t canonly flirted with women, I would’ve made him gay /hj

Trans because have you seen him? He sounds and looks like he’s just started taking testosterone in the RE2R.

Demisexual because I can see him wanting to get close before he does anything like that.

Polyamorous as I hc/joke about him having a lot of boyfriends (Luis, Carlos, Chris, Sasha, and Ethan).

Luis makes jokes that everyone else (except Carlos since they’re dating too) is a boyfriend-in-law to him /hj

Claire Redfield

Bisexual/Trans-Feminine (yes, I’m aware I put the wrong flag, shh, I didn’t realize until now)/Asexual/Greyromantic/Polyamorous

Bisexual as I can see her being with both men and women.

Trans as I find it funny to think that Chris is surrounded by trans people.

Asexual as she dislikes anything to do with sex.

Greyromantic as I see her rarely falling in love.

Polyamorous as once again, I crave representation.

[murkystarlight]

Murky-friend~

Hey, hi, hello, bonjour!

We kinda had a small talk with Buggo and Basil about their fav fanfiction tropes, so I'm here so ask youuuu... My dear!

You can just ramble about it, or do the tier list thingie, or ignore the question if you wish too!

— Simple-friend:)

Ahhhhhh hiiiiiii Simple

Okay um... this really is just rambling... and it's weird... I would not blame you(or anyone) if you see this and think "oh wow. She really is weird and crazy. Nope, I'm done with her". Because.... what I wrote down there... haha😅

Well. First off, I don't really read fics that much- um... yeah. I only started reading fics a few months ago. I probably haven't even had a taste of half of the troupes that exist in the world-

So far I've just read anything that I like. I see the writer's note or the tags and go "oh wow. Yeah, I like this" then I read it. So a lot of the time I go after

⭐the thrill⭐

Which isn't exactly... good.

Despite not knowing what half the words mean, I read smut. I'm sorry- I'm sorry. But half of the fics I can find on rare pairs are smut. And I like a lot of rare pairs. And I'm also learning abt reproduction in school so I think I'm allowed to read them(wtf? No that does not give you the qualification t-). But really I- I need something out of them. Okay?

So I read anything really. I'm not against anything. And when I say I'm not against anything? I mean ANYTHING

I kid you not, I read 'cupcake' and came out giggling in joy, also read 'dipper goes to taco bell' and walked out feeling... well it sucked. Why would someone write..... okay?.... but also at the same time I just found the whole thing just.. hilarious. It has a plot(somewhat) makes no sense... it was unhinged.. I mean- jumping ropes?? With vocal chords??? Like- I'm sorry. I have a weird sense of humor

(I read both earlier this year-)

Don't get me wrong. I know that some of these troupes are bad and aren't good. But uh you see, I'm not saying that I support them. Just saying- the concept makes me laugh. It makes no sense. I don't go looking for it on purpose and I don't really have interest in them(I also probably won't be able to remember what the troupe is about)

Anyways, I don't mind reading whatever as long as it interests me. And isn't too long. I don't want to get into something that's so long I get caught up and read only that for days with no sleep :p

So a lot of the things I've read so far is one~three chapters? Or one shots. It's not like I can actually find a fic that satisfies all the things I like and isn't a one shot anyways.

If I choose preferences though, anything if it's from people I know, fluff, hurt, comfort, something to do with canon(fixing it, giving characters backstories stuff like that), mind cintrol/betrayal, uh... yeah. Stuff like that.

So.. yeah. I hope.... that answers your question and... doesn't leave too much against me lol

My dear- augh- you're going to give me a heart attack one day I swear(I'm savoring this. Probably the closest thing I'll ever get to a relationship, platonic or not, in my life lol)

Also, I love what you did with my name. I'm stealing it.

Please don't hate me(is it too late to say this)

[shmowder]

SO I was about to say that we never spoke on your BG3 blog, but I actually found one question by me, asking if you were playing the original Pathologic or P2 😂 By the time I found that blog you'd already pretty much moved on to this one (which is fine!). But I rb'd a couple fics to my sideblog. Certainly never imagined myself reading about a giant half-spider woman but here we are ♡ The thing about Minthara is that I adore her but I don't know anything about the rest of the game and it's too expensive for me to commit to right now - and I'm always hearing about her romance being bugged anyway.

Yuria <333 And Sister Friede but more importantly, Yuria! I love that you love her too! I confess that I never got past the Abyss Watchers but tbh I'm amazed I got that far. And at least my Ashen One got to meet Yuria (and heard her best line "And I, of course, am also thine" hehe). Good for you for getting through it! Bloodborne is the one Fromsoft game I've beaten and it was rough getting used to the Dark Souls combat, so I watched a walkthrough of the rest. And I've also watched a ~90 hour walkthrough of Elden Ring, which did put me to sleep occasionally lmao but I just don't have the willpower to play huge open world games anymore.

I almost finished a NG+ playthrough of Bloodborne recently, until I started the DLC and promptly got my ass handed to me and I was like hmmmm actually now is the perfect time to start a new SDV farm 🤔

But, I'm taking a little break because I've indeed started Patho 2 again!! It's the beginning of day 5, I'm using super easy settings again and I found my old notes of where the Dead Item Shop is every day and which items to save for upgrades etc. Despite that, I seem to be missing more than ever. I may have focused a little too much on trading and collecting herbs and caches. Forgot the bell rang on Day 3 and didn't gather the Apple Basket Gang rip :( (I noticed that Lara and Artemy both have dialogue about not being 30 yet, so there's that question out of the way) But on the bright side I have more eggs than I could ever need (maybe…) and I'm on my 3rd inventory upgrade.

Haha, based on that anecdote I'd say you know more Russian than I do. I know a lot of people listen to other things when playing games but I've never tried that except when hatching Pokemon eggs. I love hearing the in-game sounds and music. Victor and Yulia have the same theme playing in their houses!

Yes of course we can be friends! Requesting from writing blogs is what originally got me interacting with others, so, kind of like you, just the other way around 😅 Then I discovered it can be nice just to talk sometimes. It seems like you're having a good time on this blog! Chill is good. Part of me is still flabbergasted that there's a Pathologic x reader blog that exists and it's run by a great writer who obviously has so much love for the characters which is a huge plus <3 But I like the memes too :) I can't speak for other anons, but I always check my entire dash until I'm completely caught up.

Moving on… WHEN I TRANSLATED THE TITLE OF THE VICTOR X READER FIC!! Hooo boy, I'm a simple girl and the "You're good, my little dove, you're good. Despite it all, you're good" quote is one of my favorites. It's like you read my mind with the description - SOFT, TENDER, and UNSTABLE? Three of my favorite things 😇

So!! I am the human embodiment of this emoji while reading 🤭🤭🤭 Honestly so galaxy brained of you make it into a fic, I could never be upset about that. There's such an atmosphere to this from the very beginning, I don't know how to describe it but I want to bite it. Playing house with slightly off vibes, "Like handling a stray cat" OUGH. (I agree that'd he'd want to play at domesticity.) The way he notices everything, his solicitousness. Reader as sacrificial lamb imagery. "He takes and takes like you're the cure for his morose soul."

The immortality vs mortality thing! That's when I really got why this works so well as a fic instead of hcs. I love that it feels like a character study as much as a smut fic (and ofc I appreciate all the little details about time). TOP TIER SMUT ALSO. His endless patience while also being in emotional/spiritual/physical agony, him praising the reader's patience, he does seem like the type to draw it out a while - "He'll hide you from the world and everything dangerous outside" 😳

And the end!! What a beautiful, brilliant mind, what a sensitive fragile heart, what a lovely soul. My goodness. Just - [keysmash] [disintegrates]

That was AMAZING and you should be proud. Thank you for taking my request and running with it <333

If my overzealous reaction to the froggy chair birthday pic never made it through, thank you for that too! It's delightful.

Happy birthday!! 🧁🎉 I hope you enjoy the day.

🐿️ anon

You remembered my birthday! I love you!

God I was refreshing my notes waiting for your reaction over the fic. I'm so happy you liked it <33 Especially how you qouted your favourite lines and your reaction to them, that's literally the highest of praise I could receive. You understand the underlying themes, the whole playing house but something seems off, Victor's inner fits of monologue occasionally completely going off-rails and showing how lost in his head he tends to get. How his brain switches focus between topics constantly before snapping back to reality and vice versa.

Conflicted in everything. At times, he appears as if he's pleading with you, below you as loyal as a guard dog. At others he appears above you, pulling your strings with sheer authority and nothing else.

The whole turmoil of deciding to let Reader die a natural death, to be selfish and never allow them into the Kains grand scheme of immortality, to know you'll only exist by his side before your soul is lost to the cosmos forever.

I avoided bringing Nina by name but her presence is heavy in each line of the story. How much he would let you hurt him and others as much as you want like she used to do, how he lets your sins slide and sweeps your wrongs under the rug. How he clings to your mortality because part of his resents humanity for taking his wife away, for stealing his own life and future away.

The whole wings and feather symbolism. Immortality is the wings the Kains are sewing together one thread at a time, each feather plucked being a brilliant person's soul. That eventually, maybe they too will ascend past the larva stage and be able to live freely with no fear of death much like Icarus flew above the seas without regards to his father's words. They're flying straight into the sun and they mistake its blazing fire for the heavens above.

His little dove petname fitting perfectly with the Icarus symbolism, with you being a beautiful bird he wants to keep caged in the mortal real out of selfishness, out of the desire to finally call someone his own. All his life he has give for the future of humanity, both his wife and two kids turned into chess pieces to be sacrificed in times of need.

And that's fine that's okay. He can handle it. His family may belong to the future, they may belong to mankind and the utopia they're slowly shaping. He is strong and pragmatic, he can more than understand why heavy costs and live with the consequences. He will carry that burden of guilt indefinitely.

But you, oh you.... He won't allow it. You have to slip away from their clutches, from his own sharp claws. You won't belong to the future, you will belong to the present forever with him, forever to him.

I enjoyed writing it so much. I started as Headcanons but the words piled up and the sentences started weaving themselves on their own. It was so beautiful, I didn't have the heart to trim the growth and force it back into the headcanons mould, so i let it blossom into a full story even if it meant more work.

Headcanons are usually effortless, stories are not. I had several open tabs by the end of writing it searching for various idoms, symbolism and word synonyms. Looking through Victor's qoute then remembering the latin endearment term for dove.

I really wanted to paint the picture of how he makes loving you a form of self-flagellation, but I had to keep the message subtle so it shows how well he hides it. How on the surface you can easily mistake his infatuation for any adoring partner, but deep down he's completely unstable behind the calculated hardened face. I'd argue that he was as crazy as Nina if not even more. He just happened to be better at hiding it. It was an elaborate plan for him to play the role of the reliable soft-hearted self-sacrificing leader to win people's favour, to paint the Kains in an angelic light so their women may be as cruel as their hearts desire.

Again, thank you for leaving such a sweet message afterwards. People rarely do, you get accustomed to fulfilling requests then throwing your writing into the ocean after posting it. The reblogs and likes are good and all but I just want to hear another human's words at times you know? Another soul's opinion, something that proves that this exists and was read by an actual person rather than a number counter going up.

Although oh my god you read THAT Minthara fic?? A beautiful webbing?? IT'S ONE OF MY MOST PROUD WORKS! One of my most ambitious too! The descriptive scenery in that fic took a lifetime out of me, so much blood and tears poured onto the layout of the garden, of the sussur tree and blood rose. Writing it felt like my magnum opus at the time, although now I'd say Lingum Vitea holds the spot for the amount of Latin I had to research for that Burakhovsky fic.

I'm so glad you liked that fic! They're my favourite children <333 I like the rest too but sometimes I write things purely out of passion and they shine brighter than the rest in my eyes.

You've already started your P2 playthrough hell yeah! I hope it goes well and it's fun! I actually missed the apple basket gang meeting too in my playthrough- I thought it was scripted to be missed because it directly coincident with the Bachelor calling people to town hall and proclaiming quarantine so I thought oh, it must be cancelled duh! I didn't realise you could still walk to it ah-

You can never have too much eggs, trust me.

Being a trader hoarder is good! you'll eventually learn which people overpay for which items and look out for them. Usually trading is rng depent on which npc you meet on the road to your current mission because straying from the path means losing precious time.

Good for beating bloodborne and going on ng+! Hell yeah! I've never played it but it seems hard bc of the parries and no shield. I miss my shield in ds3 :( During the end of the game, my brother was watching me play and he tricked me into going to the end boss unprepared. He claimed it was just another npc for a quest and I didn't know it was the end boss bc I didn't watch anything about dark souls before playing it- I just walked to the soul of cinder all like "omfg hiii bestiee :3 " then got stabbed.

BUT I FUCKING BEAT HIM IN ONE TRY! EVEN WHEN I WAS TRICKED AND ALMOST DIED. I managed to clutch with my trustyyyy shieellldd.

But also I died to that weird balls tree 90+

I am not exaggerating, I genuinely couldn't handle that lame mini boss tree. I killee the abyss watchers in two tries and the soul of cinder in one but a fucking tree is responsible for 70% of my deaths through all of the game.

I'm celebrating my birthday today. it's not going well but at least I have a lot of cake and will buy myself flowers in an hour after the shops open. I got cheesecake! I love cheesecake! I think Yulia would like cheesecake or is she more of a dark chocolate person? I still have your request for her nsfw hc so don't worry it wasn't swallowed by tumblr.

Honestly I can't believe I'm the only pathologic x reader blog- Seems almost blasphemous tbh. I hope more pop up in the future, this fandom is surprisingly chill and nice. Especially for such a hardcore game.

I hope your day is amazing <3

Oh and I did receive your froggy chair submission! I just wasn't sure whether to reply to it publicly or not in case you wanted to stay anonymous to others on this blog. I'm glad you liked the meme I threw together and my other memes on this blog hehe. I like making them, it's like visual storytelling.

[carlos-tk]

nice ask week

hi D! it's nice ask week! What made you start watching LS and what was it about the show that made you spiral into fandom?

Hi Rae! Thanks for the question! 💗 Apologies for how long this took me to answer. Work took over my life this week 😢 Now buckle in for a stupidly long story 😅

Firstly, I had watched the original 911s first and half of its 2nd season whenever they aired (2018/19 thanks Wikipedia) and then totally forgot all about it because again #life 😅 I did hear about a spin off whenever they announced it but I guess the only info was that it was coming soon. Wikipedia is helping out and it seems it was May 2019. I didn’t really pay it much mind because by then I had already stopped watching the og.

So I move on with my life and don’t think about either series until September 2022. I saw a youtube clip of a scene: the throwing each other against the wall hookup from 1x02. I watched it and I was like.. OH?!👀🔥🥵 Saved it to my YouTube watch later and again forgot all about it because back then I was doing full time shift work and had no time to breathe let alone watch anything new 😂 (kicking myself because I could’ve been here a year ago) 😭

Cut to this year. I can give you an exact date i rediscovered 911 verse. May 17th 2023!! 🥳 All because of the Tarlos wedding.

Twitter is probably the platform I use the most cos it’s got all my sports content😅 Anyway I happened to be on the discover/trending tab and one of the top hashtags was #TarlosWedding which was airing that day. I clicked it to investigate and scrolled through. It was full of pics and fanvids of the wedding and again I was like OH 👁👁. I liked a bunch of the tweets to revisit and moved on with my day. A few days later because I had liked all that stuff, Twitter keeps recommending me more content. So I find myself back on YouTube and watched these:

and then a series of random scenes and I was like... okay I need full context for all of this. Another month passes and it’s probably end of June/early July and I’m like let me see if this is available anywhere to watch in Australia. I find it on Disney+ and they have seasons 1-3. This is finally when I watched the show. And then I could not stop thinking about it. S4 is no where to be found though. So I google and see it’s halfway through airing on Channel 7 here which means it won’t be uploaded to Disney+ for a while. So then I’m like UGH 😒😩😤 I wanted to binge the whole season like I had for the others. I kept tabs on when it would finish airing on TV and eventually the finale airs August 14th. The next day I start it and binge the whole season on 7Plus over a few days.

Now that I had seen their entire story so far, I was full blown hyper fixating. Like they’re on my mind ALL the time. I’m reading a book or watching a movie/show and thinking about Tarlos in place of the characters. I’m listening to a song or reading a poem/lyric and being like oh that’s so Tarlos coded😂😂 At this point i’m like oh no 😅😅 The fandom life is coming for me.

Then the biggest surprise of all I start getting the urge to write fanfic again! Which is insane because I had not written anything in (redacted) years. Like nearly every time as I was about to sleep, I start having ideas and rambling it out in my notes app at stupid hours like 2am 😂😅

Next we have the writers/actors strike and I’m like 👀trust me to find a new obsession and everyone is on strike and I’m gonna get nothing new for ages. Then I remember AO3 is a thing that exists and find my way to the 911 Lone Star tag and start reading fic again. Any spare moment I had I was itching to read whatever I could get my eyeballs on. I said to you the other day that I read your gym!AU first and look I might’ve read a random 1k word one shot or two but nothing I can actually remember like yours 😂🥵 I think the added pictures and texts made it so memorable because 1. I did not know you could do that on AO3 2. Rafael is like the hottest guy I’ve ever seen 😅😅 and 3. It was just so damn good 🥵 Sm*t with feelings and I am there. You teased the feelings a little and if/when (no pressure btw) you decide to revisit this universe just know I’ll be first in line 🙋🏼‍♀️ and the reason I can recall it as the first is it’s the oldest AO3 tab saved to my safari reading list 😅

By this point I’m reading fic through the end of August and September constantly. A few I read had peoples Tumblr links in the end notes so then I remember that Tumblr also exists 😂 I come over and lurk, explore the tags, look at all the beautiful gifs, look at a few peoples blogs and make a mental note to maybe join Tumblr again. I had 2 blogs back in hs, 1 fandom specific blog that got abandoned during my last year of hs and a sports/tv-series one I used a little in the years after hs but then again #life and I didn’t touch it after like 2016.

Come September 2023. I made a new email, signed up to Tumblr again, and requested an AO3 invite. Learning how to use this site again was wild because so much had changed since I last used it. I saw something about getting mistaken for bots so I spent a little time making the blog look nice and like an actual person exists before I bothered to follow anyone or any tags. October rolls around and I finally start using it every day and now I’m here with all of y’all 💗

Sorry for the extremely long story and again sorry for how long it took 😅😅

[rozu-minaki]

Heyy🐼 I have new request :)- the MHA/BNHA boys with a quite S/O? like- she just dont make noise during the dance with no pants. she grew up in a house full of people and has gotten used to being quite when she gets off. how would some of the characters react?

other details- non-hero!UA, [character name] and reader have an established relationship, and [character name] and reader live together

hope you have an amazing day/night!!

Aww hi again! Sorry for the slow answering as I’ve been doing assignments while messing about on tumblr trying to get inspiration for a such an interesting topic! be sure to include the characters you want as it’s easier to do! Also this will be a small itty bitty self insert in the family part since I did grow up in a household like this! sorry if this isn’t as good as the last one ^^’ as always characters are aged up

warnings: smut, small pieces of angst if you squint

Bakugou: At first he didn’t mind he because he thought you were shy and such and didnt want to tear you out of your shell. But as time grew on and so did your relationship he became somewhat worried. Was it him? Was he doing something wrong? He slowly began to doubt himself in that department and retracted himself sexually, only interacting if you really wanted it. That was until finally he spoke up about it. Asking if he was truly making you happy and treating you like the gem you were. He was scared that he had put to much of his asshole demeanor up to make you loose interest, to which you only giggled and reassured him that of course he was. This only confused him more and when he asked about it you explained you grew up in a house full of people where privacy was non existent and locking doors was a no no so you had taught yourself to make little to no noise as possible. He had finally understood and was glad that he was treating you properly and slowly but surely you began to let yourself loose and let yourself make as much noise as you wanted when it was time for that kinda fun ;}

Todoroki: If he’s being honest he himself is also quiet. So when you guys had first done it he was totally okay with it and thought he should just allow you to go at the pace you wanted. But now you guys are living together and you still hadn’t done more then the occasional squeak and whine. So why haven’t you began to make noise when you guys had sex? So being todoroki he asked you straight up, wondering if it was him or if he was doing something wrong and if he was he wanted to know what so he could improve. You had to tell him that it definitely was not him (we all know he gives off big dick energy) and that he was doing amazing, it’s just you had taught yourself to keep quiet and make little to no noise as possible since privacy was only in the bathroom or after a shower in your large home of people. He was relieved and understood since he too grew up with multiple siblings. Soon Enough you got out of the habit of keeping quiet and now the new neighbors know shotos name! How lovely :D

Izuku: poor baby. He was truly worried he was being a bad boyfriend in the department and actually began to take notes on ways he could improve resulting in quiet mumbling and notes that definitely should not be put in the same book as his hero notes. One day however, he left them open and you found them, reading them and stifling a laugh but felt bad on how he seemed so scared he was lacking in that department but also happy because he was taking the time to actually try and improve for you (newsflash he didn’t need to he’s perfect). Once he came back he was embarrassed beyond belief and had to be coaxed out of his stone cold stare and blush. Of course you told him he didn’t need the notes or the improvement, you just weren’t used to making noise during sex or masturbation since your parents were strict and were against it. Izuku happily got rid of the notes but saved a few on new positions and techniques that he could test out if yk what I mean.

Denki: baby has an ego so of course it was a bit damaged when he was giving his all during sex and you had barely managed to make a whine or whimper here and there. He thought he wasn’t enough which, even though he tried to hide it, began to show when his cheerful and flirty demeanor was reduced to a small and somewhat quiet one. When you had asked about it all he could say was he was only sleepy or had a lot on his mind. That was until one day when you caught him talking on the phone to Kirishima asking what to do and how he could improve. When he heard you sigh and felt you gently grab his phone and hang up he stiffened up and was worried he struck a cord and you were gonna just end it with him. However that wasnt the case as you explained that you didn’t have a lot of privacy growing up and finding more about yourself had to be done alone and safely so naturally you had taught yourself to be quiet and barely make a peep, but if he was so worried and insecure about it you would try your best to improve and make noise to which he instantly lit up and happily slung you over his shoulder and went to your shared bedroom to help you “practice”

Shinsou: Honestly, at first he tried to act like he didn’t mind it and didnt wanna bring it up either since it was a bit of an awkward conversation as a new couple. But now you guys were sleeping in the same bed and waking up next to one another so what was going on and why werent you making any noise during sex? Was it something up with you that you didn’t wanna talk about? We’re you to scared to tell him that he was doing something wrong or making you uncomfortable? So eventually he had asked you about it while you two were making out and about to have at it. He asked why you weren’t really making much noise during sex and if it was something you didn’t wanna talk about or if it was him in general. To which you only smiled and laid a gentle touch on his cheek, you finally told him that as he knew you had a lot of siblings and since your parents didn’t have much money to give you guys each a room, you had up to no privacy when it came to getting off-only being able to do it in the bathroom or when you were home alone which wasn’t often. He finally understood why you weren’t very vocal and allowed you to ease yourself into it, which much practice in bed of course ^^ Shoji: He truly thought you were second guessing your guys relationship (you two are literally living together though??). He thought it was his quirk that was disturbing you two so without him even knowing he began to not use his quirks advantages in sex as much and also only focused on pleasuring you and not himself. This usually led to him not cumming in most sessions until finally you stopped mid sex and asked him why he wasnt trying to focus on his needs aswell. He was worried at first and shyly responded that he thought you needed more pleasure since you hadn’t ever made much noise during this and that he didn’t care if it cost him his own pleasure. Least to say you melted and pulled him close, holding his head on your chest And petting his head. Gradually explaining why you never made much noise and it didn’t mean he wasn’t doing a good job or anything, you just had a habit of making Little to no noise when you got off. He felt sorta dumb after but with some reassurance, soon enough he allows you to make sure both of you were satisfied after each session from now on.

I hope you enjoyed this! It was really cool to write and test myself as a small writer! Be sure to request which characters you’d like in the next one aswell as if you have anything you’d like changed or any writing mistakes you see as this isn’t proofread ^^’. Have a rose! 🌹

[a-lil-perspective]

70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍

[waitimcomingtoo]

Plank All Over Me - 72 Questions With Vogue Edition

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Plank All Over Me Series Masterlist

Regular Masterlist

“Hi. I’m here from Vogue. Mind if I ask you a few questions?”

“Oh, hey. Didn’t see you there.” You flirtatiously flipped your perfectly curled hair over your shoulder and winked at the camera. “Come on in.”

You walked inside your house, and gestured for the camera man to follow. In preparation for the interview, you and Tom had gotten out every award you’d ever won and strategically placed them around the house. You smiled at the camera and rubbed your hand over your growing baby bump.

“Welcome to my crib. Sorry it’s such a mess.” You rolled your eyes and faked a laugh, knowing the house was far from being a mess. You kept walking and saw Tom in the living room, polishing on of his awards with a feather duster.

“Oh my stars.” You feigned a gasp once you spotted Tom. “Is that my husband, the critically acclaimed movie star and Lip-sync battle winner, Tom Holland? I had no idea he was home.” You winked at the camera again.

“Oh, hello.” Tom stopped dusting and posed with a smile. “Don’t mind me. I was just cleaning this.”

“Might want to give that a dusting too.” You pointed to one of your awards before sending the camera another huge smile.

“Are you guys ready to answer some questions?” The camera guy asked.

“I was born ready.” Tom concurred with a smile.

“You were a C section baby.” You reminded him. “You weren’t even born.”

“I was removed ready.” He kept the same tone in his voice.

“Where did you meet?” The camera man asked as you and Tom began to walk towards your backyard.

“We met at BBC Radio 1 while doing the Plank All Over Me challenge.” Tom answered.

“Where was your first date?”

“Cracker Barrel.” You winked at the camera as you opened your back door. Tom laughed and shook his head at your joke.

“It was not. We got milkshakes at an Ice Cream Shop in Soho.” He corrected you.

“Who made the first move?”

“Why, he did.” You touched a hand to your heart. “He found me after the planking challenge, both our arms sore and aching, and asked me out on a date. We’ve been together ever since.”

“When you did you move in together?”

“About six months into the relationship when I realized she had a bigger bathroom than me.” Tom answered as he took a seat in one of your decorative deck chairs.

“How long have you been together?”

“Since September 29, 2019 at precisely 6:33 p.m.” You responded.

“Wow. Just a year?”

“Realistically, we’ve been together for a few years, but that’s when this series was first posted.” You shrugged. Tom and the camera blinked in confusion for a few minutes as they processed what you said.

“Moving on.” The camera man cleared his throat. “Tom, how did you pick an engagement ring?”

“I went into the shop and I said “which is the least expensive because I’m trying to buy a Porsche” and that’s how she ended up with this bad boy.” Tom smirked as he held up your hand to show off your engagement ring.

“I can’t wait to tell our baby that story.” You played along as you rubbed your baby bump.

“When did you know you wanted to propose?”

“As soon as she started whining because the planking was hurting her arms, I knew she was the one.” Tom joked.

“Did you know he was going to propose?”

“Surprisingly, no.” You laughed. “It’s the one secret he’s ever kept.

“I nearly got an ulcer from trying to keep it from her.” Tom blew out a breath.

“Who planned the majority of the wedding?”

“I did.” You declared. “I had to text Tom the morning of the wedding to remind him where the venue was.”

“Did either of you cry?”

“As soon as I mentioned the yoga challenge in my vows, the whole room was sobbing.” Tom teased.

“How big was the reception?”

“Let’s just say, we had all the Avengers there.” Tom nodded.

“All the important ones, anyway.” You joked. “Mackie couldn’t make it.”

“How did you spend your honeymoon?”

“We went to Bali and didn’t see any of it.” Tom smirked, earning a playful smack on the arm from you.

“What’s been your favorite video together?”

“I loved the prank with Josh.” You answered with a smile.

“I didn’t.” Tom shook his head. “I nearly threw hands with a ginger that day. I quite liked the friendship test.”

“What video gave you the fondest memories?”

“Spill your Guts, for sure. That’s when I learned about the existence of this one.” Tom beamed as he rubbed your baby bump.

“What was your least favorite video to film?”

“We already know Tom’s answer.” You chuckled.

“Prank interview.” He stated. “To this day, I hate it.”

“Did you see yourself getting married when you first met?”

“All I saw were the nose hairs in Tom’s nostrils when we first met.” You laughed. “After all, he did plank on me for six and a half minutes.”

“I had a feeling we would.” Tom smiled shyly. “Or a hope, at least.”

You pouted at his sincerity and leaned forward to kiss him, which his happily accepted.

“Have you thought of baby names?”

“Josh.” You answered immediately and Tom groaned.

“I’m kidding.” You rolled your eyes. “I really like the name Ryan Reynolds though.”

”What are you hoping for?”

“An oscar.” Tom answered at the same time you said “A divorce.”

“You already want a divorce?” The camera man laughed.

“Oh, not a divorce from Tom.” You assured him. “I want Ryan Reynolds to divorce Blake Lively so he can marry me instead.” You explained as Tom nodded along.

“And I want to die every time she says that.” He cracked a smile.

“Let’s get back to the baby questions.” The camera man said as you began to move around the yard. “Do you know the gender?”

“We do.” Tom said deviously. “But we’re not telling.”

“Do you think the baby will be more like their mother or their father?”

“Definitely me.” You stated.

“Why are you so sure?”

“Because Tom’s not the father.” You smiled sweetly. Tom stared at the camera with an unamused expression and shook his head.

“Who’s going to be the fun parent?”

“Considering I’m the parent who can swing from buildings, I say me.” Tom boasted.

“Who’s going to teach the baby how to read?”

“I am. And after the baby learns, they can teach Tom.” You smiled as you patted Tom’s shoulder.

“Do you think the baby will like to plank?”

“If they’re anything like their mommy, no.” Tom poked fun at you.

“And if they’re anything like their daddy, they’ll grow up to play the Green Lantern.” You shot back.

“Hahahah. She’s so funny.” Tom forced a laugh at your joke.

“Do you think the baby will develop your senses of humor?”

“Wait, you have a sense of humor?” You asked Tom. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“She loves me so much, it’s crazy.” Tom deadpanned towards the camera.

“Do you want the baby to grow up to be an actor or actress like you guys?”

“I just want the baby to be happy.” Tom gave a serious answer. “Every thing else will fall into place on its own.”

“That’s a great answer. Do you think you’ll post about the baby a lot of keep them out of the spotlight for the first few years of their life?”

“I think we’ll wait until they’re at least 4 months old until we exploit them for our own financial gain.” You said and Tom nodded along.

“Have you picked out the godparents yet?”

“Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal.” You joked. “They’re so excited. Jake said he would take the baby fishing.”

“He’s taken me fishing a few times.” Tom said as he stared off.

“How have you been preparing for the baby?”

“Well, I personally stopped sleeping, changed my whole diet, started lactating, and my pelvic bone separated in the middle so that I could push the baby out. Tom, what did you do?” You tilted your head at him.

“I bought the car seat.” Tom said proudly. “My wife picked it out, though.”

“I also drove him there.” You glared at the camera for a moment, cracking a smile after your joke.

“What are you most looking forward to after the baby is born?”

“Laying on my stomach.” You laughed as you looked down at your protruding bump.

“I also miss laying on her stomach.” Tom pouted as he rubbed the bump. “That was my favorite cuddle position.”

“Aw. I’m sorry we can’t cuddle the way you want to anymore because I’m growing your child inside my body.” You said sarcastically, making Tom laugh.

“Thank you for growing our child inside your body. I don’t say it enough.” Tom praised as he leaned in for a kiss.

“You’re welcome.” You smiled at him before turning to the camera man. “Anything else you want to know?”

“Actually, I have a question.” Tom stated as he looked at the camera.

“What’s that?” The camera man asked. You and Tom looked at each other and exchanged a smile before turning back the the camera.

“Are you excited to meet our baby girl?”

Tag List 🏷

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@maybemona @young-romanoff​ @alexxcorona113​ @fancyxparker​ @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey​ @im-still-tryin-to-find-it​ @big-galaxy-chaos​ @pandaxnienke @theincredibledeadlyviper​  @thestylestour​  @officialsimppage​ @mrvelscaptains @peterspideysstuff​ @reemusluupin​ @perspectiveparker​ @itsemohours​ @satanswitchings​ @okkulta​ @amorhollands @parkerlovebot​ @sarcasticallywitty15​ @mati4188 @geminiparkers @xfirstfemale-marauderx @jungkxxkk @friendlyneighborhood-mendes @awesomebooklover17 @itstaskeen @whatthefuckimbisexual

[hawnks]

if you have yime, could you recommend some romance novels to read? (you can answer this private or public, idc 💗)

snkdkxkckckc i read almost exclusively historical romance. every sub-genre has its like…. reason for existing and this one in particular is about repression of desire and struggling to fit into a really unforgiving society. YES they all have very funny names. Romance writers understand the inherent ridiculousness of their own tropes, and we all just have to live with that.

a note: romance series are organized in a way that you should be able to pick up from basically any point in the series without having too much trouble. Choose a premise and a heroine you like, and go from there.

my all time favorite is the Rescued from Ruin series by Elisa Braden (but DONT start with the first or second book, Braden gets better as she continues to write I SWEAR). it focuses on female leads who are distinct outcasts, anything from being fat to having ptsd.

Recommended starting point: The Devil Is A Marquess

A marriage of convenience between an impoverished Marquess and a wealthy but incredibly awkward heiress. He wants to be able to pay the bills. She wants her freedom. This is purely a business relationship — until it isn’t.

Personal fave: A Marriage Made In Scandal

A murder plot. A footman kissing heroine. A whole lot of horticulture. Social pariah Eugenia saves a family friend from being thrown in the slammer. The only catch? She told the cops they were sleeping together as an alibi, and now they have no choice but to tie the knot. While evading a cold blooded killer, no less.

Kerrigan Byrne’s Victorian Rebels gets dark, but the tension and pacing is wonderful. No pearl clutching here. The trade off is a lot of murder though. Check for triggers.

Recommended starting point: The Highwayman

Childhood friends reunited under less than pleasant circumstances. He wants her back. And now that he’s a crime lord he doesn’t really see any reason he can’t just… take her. That’s how good relationships are formed, right?

Personal favorite: The Duke With The Dragon Tattoo

Yeah yeah the title I know. This one is about a pirate and his first love but I can’t say anything about it without spoiling the big twist of the first novel :’)

Lisa Kleypas the Wallflower Series is what got me started on actually liking romance novels. It’ll always have a special place in my heart.

Recommended starting point: The Devil in Winter

Evie needs to get away from her abusive extended family before they kill her for her inheritance. Sebastian Lord St. Vincent…. also wants that inheritance, but at least he won’t try to off her. In fact, their arrangement seems almost perfect — neither of them cares about the other, so she’s free to look after her ailing father, and he’s able to go gamble or sleep around or whatever regency bad boys do. That is, until he catches feelings.

Personal favorite: Scandal In Spring

The last book in the series. Daisy is… eclectic. She’s a dreamer (and a reader), and always has her head in the clouds — to the dismay of her strict father. The one thing she could do to get in his good graces is tie the knot with the man of his choosing, his business protégé Mathew Swift. So of course he’s the one man Daisy will never ever ever marry. Unfortunately for all parties involved, Mathew has been wildly in love with Daisy for years. Doubly unfortunate? He can never actually get married (not that anyone bothered to ask).

More authors (your mileage may vary): Sarah McLean, Tessa Dare (if you’re looking for Bridgerton-esque start here), Eloisa James, Scarlet Pehkam (bdsm themes)

[kitcat992]

First off, I know I've mentioned this before but it cannot be taken for granted. Thanks for being one of the nicer Tumblr users. :)

So I wanted to ask you, from a medical/fantastical standpoint, just how indestructible exactly is Peter Parker?

Based solely on Tom's Spiderman, he's been slammed repeatedly through concrete walls and floors, crushed by a building, had his body almost torn apart by 2 huge ferries, hit by a bullet train, shot and I don't remember what else. He usually just limps away, grabbing his side, has some cuts and swelling and he passed out for a while in Homecoming and Far from home.

Do you think his healing factor works instantaneously? Maybe his bones are way denser and harder to break? Maybe this beautiful kid is magic?

I really liked the realism you provided in your Identity series and how it both helped and screwed Peter over. Hoping that his healing factor will help pull him back from the dead in your next chapter.

Awwww, I don't even try to be nice so that's very sweet to hear!

I love this question because it lets me play with reality AND fiction at the same time.

But the answer is always gunna be this: The character is as indestructible as the writer makes them to be.

Superman? Nothing but kryptonite can hurt him! But wait, no, a new writer comes along and decides "the sun's gunna give him cancer cause I said so." Captain America? Can survive nuclear bombs and living in ice for 70 years! But wait, no, a couple bullets from an AR17 kills him because the writer of Civil War said so. It truly all just depends on who is writing that character and what they decide to do.

That being said, I always felt the MCU went a tadddddd bit too far with Peter's powers, specifically with the whole "hit by a bullet train" scene. They sorta pushed Superman level invincibility there -- just my opinion, though.

Peter Parker, in every iteration we see him, always has *growing* powers. They strengthen and mature as he strengthens and matures. So young Peter Parker -- the one we see in Ultimate Spider-Man and Spider-Man: Homecoming, hasn't honed in on his full capabilities yet. Believe it or not, Peter Parker actually becomes as strong as Captain America himself. But it comes with time.

His healing factor hasn't ever been like Wolverines, where he heals immediately. Actually, Wolverine didn't exist until 1974, arriving to Marvel comics long after Spidey. So for a while it was Cap and Spidey who held the title of "fast healers." While he doesn't heal immediately, he does heal quickly -- how quickly is never the same due to continuity issues. One issue it's overnight, the next its days, some its weeks....some he flat out dies (see: Ultimate Spider-Man and even Spider-Man: Disassembled)

The dude has survived A LOT. 3rd degree burns all over his body, his head smashed into the ground thanks to Dick!Thanos, his eye was plucked out and eaten in front of him, he was severely electrocuted, our boi was even flat out crucified at one point. He hasn't lived an easy life.

Problem is that comics don't really focus on the aftermath of the big climax to their action-packed story. No one has really explored the consequences that come with the aforementioned, and so we really don't have a good grasp on Peter's healing factor. We just know he heals faster than the average human, but not immediately like Logan.

So that's where I play with reality and fiction. I like to take "super powers" and mix them into the normal functions of a typical human being. If I'm tired -- exhausted, sleep deprived, worked to the bone and all around worn down, it's gunna take me a *lot* longer to recover from any inflicted wound or illness. That's why rest is so, so, SO important when you're sick or hurt. Rest is literally what helps us heal.

It's also why we tend to kick you out of the hospital ASAP. It's not that we don't want you there, it's because if you get sick with *anything else* while you're in the hospital -- already compromised to have that happen -- you're gunna receive a hard hit of whatever you get sick with. Because your body is already weak. Normal you might bounce right back from the flu, but injured you is gunna be bitch slapped with the mighty Iron Fist.

So the same can apply to a superhero. If Peter's wounded in battle, he might bounce back after a couple days, depending on the extent of injury (and how quickly he treats it -- alcohol wipes and May's sewing kit in the bathtub that hasn't been cleaned in weeks isn't the way to go, Peter!) If Peter's wounded while kidnapped, sleep deprived, starved and already weakened, it may take a lot longer.

But again...it all depends on the writer.

That being said, we DO know he can die. We've seen it happen. Our boi just endures a lot before he finally reaches that point.

[peachy-panic]

“Look at me.”

Hi there. I’m new here, but also very much not, which is to say you’ve probably seen me pop up a few dozen (hundred) times in your notifications with likes and comments and the occasional ask when I’m feeling brave, sliding under the radar from the safety of my obscure fandom-turned-main account.

POINT IS, I’m no stranger to the wonderful works of this community, and CERTAINLY no stranger to whump appreciation, even if I haven’t always had a word for it. And because I’ve been so inspired by all the talented writers here, I’ve decided to finally cut loose and throw my own work into the ring, and the whole @whumpmasinjuly thing seemed like an opportune time to pop up.

I’ve aggressively lurked on so many of your pages in the last year so I’m sure I’m leaving someone out, but I did want to tag a few of the writers who have really motivated me to start this page just by reading their writing:

@ashintheairlikesnow @orchidscript @deluxewhump @whump-tr0pes @evermetnotforgotten @card-games-and-pain

And if you’ve made it this far into the post, we’ve arrived at the actual content. This snippet is from a project I started writing before I knew about the existence of the BBU, but I’ve slowly started molding it into something that fits more-or-less within the bounds of that collective universe. Some things may take slightly different turns to the rules established there, but it’s the same general concept.

Without further ado.

PROMPT: “Look at me.”

WARNINGS: General BBU-esque warnings, human trafficking, slavery, non-con (fade-to-black ish but the lead up is… Not Great). Let me know if I missed anything!

He knows something is off right away when Mr. Torley calls to him from the end of the long hallway on the other side of the house. 

When the children are home, Jaime is confined to the main common areas: the living room that spills into the large open-concept kitchen, the guest bathroom, the laundry room (where he has already spent most of his time working), the boys’ toy room (where he has only gone to clean up after them), and of course, the small room he has been given to sleep in, which he is sure once served as some sort of storage area. 

At the mouth of the living room is a corridor that leads to Mr. Torley’s study, and across from that, his bedroom. So he is told. Jaime was given instructions never to go into that wing of the house unless explicitly invited. He has been in his new home assignment for three days now and has never once been asked to cross those bounds. 

Until now. 

Carefully, Jaime places the mug he had been diligently scrubbing in the basin of the sink and shuts off the tap. He looks around for the hand towel and, remembering he had thrown it in with the last load of laundry, dries his hands on his t-shirt instead.

There’s a shift in the air, something thick and weighty and terrible as he steps into the opening of the hallway, but he doesn’t allow himself a moment to hesitate. He pads near-silently forward, toward the only open door, all the way at the end. 

In the threshold between the hall and the master bedroom, Jaime’s toes brush against where pristine hardwood meets soft carpet. It feels good against his bare feet after days of standing on an unforgiving surface without the allowance of shoes or socks, but not nearly good enough to settle the uneasiness building in the pit of his stomach. Mr. Torley sits on the edge of the bed, a long, deep-colored robe covering most of his body, save for the deep strip of exposed skin down his chest where a few patches of thick, dark hair peek through. Jaime forces his eyes up to his.

“You called for me, Sir?” His voice low and steady, even as his eyes draw unwittingly to the lamp on the bedside table, which has been dimmed to an orange glow that makes the room feel small and suffocatingly warm. 

“Come here,” his Keeper beckons, and Jaime’s muscles operate by the hand of some unseen force, pushing him forward. He only makes it half a step in before Mr. Torley raises a hand, gesturing to where the light of the hallway spills in around his silhouette. “Close the door behind you.”

Jaime’s limbs feel very heavy all of a sudden, but he moves anyway, a phantom sting buzzing beneath his skin at even the briefest thought of hesitation. Never make your Keeper wait. Never let your Keeper ask twice. 

The hallway is plain and sterile, much like the rest of the Torley house, but Jaime stares longingly out at it as he pulls the door shut, wishing he were out there instead.

When the door clicks shut, he can feel a pair of eyes rake down his back like cold fingertips. It raises the hair on the back of his neck, his skin breaking out in an unpleasant chill, but he forces perfect neutrality into his expression before he turns around. He zeroes in on the sensation of soft carpet under his soles instead of the prickling dread under his skin as he makes his way toward the bed, coming to a stop a couple feet away.

Mr. Torley chuckles under his breath, a low, amused sound that Jaime is already getting used to hearing. He seems to reserve it for Jaime alone and it always serves to make him feel like there is some sort of private joke he’s not been let in on. Or, more accurately, that he is the joke, and he can’t quite stifle the lingering sense of shame that comes with that. 

“I said, come here.” It’s a direct order, but paired with a hint of amusement and something darker swimming behind his eyes. He rubs a hand invitingly, pointedly, over the comforter next to him and Jaime swallows back a lump in his throat that feels a lot like bile.

He isn’t stupid. Despite everything that’s been told to him, he’s not. But in that moment he wishes maybe he was, and then ignorance could be bliss for just a few more seconds. He knows where this is headed, and he knows that it’s wrong. It is against the policies, against the rules, he knows it is, but he isn’t surprised, either. It hadn’t taken long at the training facility to discover that the system on paper looks a whole lot different than the system in practice. 

“‘We uphold a zero-tolerance policy for the sexual exploitation and abuse of Domestic workers,’” a cruel, mocking voice recites in his head, alongside the memory of a leather-gloved thumb sliding between his lips, his wide, tearful eyes glued to the tiny, black remote in his handler’s fist. 

The skin beneath his collar burns at the memory, and he raises his fingers absently to touch there, half expecting to feel the heavy weight of the electric clip attached. He doesn’t, of course, and the only electricity he feels now is of a different nature, coming off his Keeper in waves as he waits, a bit more impatiently with every second, for Jaime to sit. 

So he does. 

Mr. Torley crowds his space immediately, and his instinctive response to pull away is smothered by a heavy arm draping over his shoulders and a droning voice inside his head. You must make yourself available at all times. You may not refuse any order or request that does not directly interfere with the wellbeing of another person. Jaime allows himself to wonder, for the briefest moment, if his wellbeing counts for anything. He knows it doesn’t. They had just spent the past three months teaching him, in every way imaginable, that he was not, in fact, a person at all.

All the offhand remarks from the trainers, the lewd sneers, the heavy-lidded glances and roaming hands… they had all painted him a picture of what to expect. He had just tricked himself into thinking that maybe, hopefully, if there ever really was a god in this universe that loved him like he was sure he once believed, that he was wrong. In the three days since he had stepped foot into his newest post, Jaime had managed to convince himself that maybe, possibly, he had gotten one of the good ones. 

Mr. Torley is all too happy to shatter the illusion as his finger and thumb find Jaime’s earlobe, rubbing it between them and then ghosting down the side of his neck. 

“Take off your shirt,” he whispers.

Jaime’s blood runs cold. 

You may not refuse any order or request. He can’t conceal the trembling in his fingers as they curl around the hem of his standard-issue grey t-shirt. You may not refuse any order or request. The warm ambience of the room feels startlingly cold against his naked torso as he pulls the fabric over his head, letting it fall in a soft whisper onto the carpet. You may not refuse any order or request. His arm is back around his shoulders instantly, hot and cold assaulting his skin all at once and he feels so exposed and he doesn’t want to be here he doesn’t want to do this. 

Mr. Torley places a heavy palm against his chest, running it slowly downward, and Jaime can picture what it looks like without even looking; calloused pads scraping over soft skin, all thick fingers and subtly unkempt nails, the beginnings of age spots and wrinkles and small dustings of black hair across the knuckles. He thinks his keeper must be able to feel the way his heart is pounding through his ribs, and he feels a surge of embarrassment that he was sure the training should have beaten out of him.

It’s because you weren’t trained for this, the panicked voice in the back of his head screams as the hand trails lower, grazing the thin patch of hair below his navel. This isn’t supposed to happen. This is against policy. You weren’t made for this. His skin feels static in every place Mr. Torley’s fingers brush, and he wishes he could dissolve under them.

“You’re shaking, baby.” Jaime winces at the unexpected term of endearment. So far, it has only been boy, curt and abrasive when thrown in his direction, usually followed by a direct order. “Have you never had a man touch you like this?”

His mind supplies a horror show of memories, flashes of images behind closed eyelids -  leather-gloved hands and concrete rooms of the training facility - and he realizes he doesn’t know how to answer that. He wants to cry. Can’t cry. Isn’t allowed to cry. Then there are fingers on his chin, on his jaw, softer than any of his touches have ever been; soft like the word baby on his lips, soft like the half-lidded eyes that he is forced to meet. 

“I asked you a question.”

“I haven’t. Sir.” His voice shakes, barely a whisper. 

It is mostly true, probably in the way Mr. Torley really meant it, and unfortunately seems to be exactly the answer he was looking for. Dread splits Jaime in two. One part, the part of him that’s hazy and pliant and good tells him he has done a good job, that he has pleased his Keeper, he has said the right thing. His keeper’s needs are his needs, if his Keeper is happy, he is happy. 

The other part just keeps screaming. And screaming. And screaming.

He doesn’t want this.

It doesn’t matter what he wants, he’s not supposed to have wants.

But this isn’t allowed.

His Keeper is happy.

Please, please stop touching me.

He can’t say no, no is forbidden to him.

Please don’t make me do this.

His keeper is smiling.

“You’re very lucky,” Mr. Torley says, dragging the thumb that was holding his jaw over he’s lower lip. “They could have given you to any one of your bidders, and trust me… there are some messed up people out there who invest in the services of Domestic Companions. But I can be good to you.”

Somehow, he doesn’t feel very lucky at all.

“Yes, sir,” he says, a bit breathless as fingers trace up and down his spine. His own fingers curl into the bedsheets on the opposite side of his thigh where Mr. Torley can’t see the outward signals of his distress, though from the naked delight in his eyes as he watches him, he doesn’t think he minds. 

There are lips on his before he can even process what is happening, and he feels his whole body go rigid in his Keeper’s hold. He’s never been kissed before and the cold wetness against his mouth is nothing like the movies make it out to be. It’s hard to wrap his head around the overwhelming sensation, but the one thing he knows for sure, immediately, is that he hates it. 

He hates his first kiss unlike anything he’s hated before. Terror and humiliation seize him in equal stride as he realizes he doesn’t really know what to do. He is frozen, for a moment, his own pulse beating wildly in his ears as slimy lips move against his own. When Mr. Torley cups a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer to lean into the kiss, his mouth opens instinctively, submitting to the insistence of the movement, and this seems to be exactly what he was looking for. A low, throaty hum vibrates against his mouth and Jaime clamps his eyes shut tight. He feels like he might die. For a moment, he kind of wishes he would.

He doesn’t register the pressure of the hand against his chest until his back is already pressed into the duvet. Mr. Torley sits up then, breaking the kiss, then stands. Jaime doesn’t look at him - he can’t bring himself to - but he can feel his eyes on him anyway. Thick fingers hook into the elastic of the thin, gray pants he had been given three days prior, and his breathing goes flat. Please don’t please don’t please don’t, his brain lights up with panic, every nerve ending in his body on high alert. But he doesn’t move, other than to close his trembling fingers around the material on either side of him, curling the soft fibers of the duvet into his fists. He wants to close his eyes, but he can feel them burning, then swimming with moisture, and he knows if he clamps his eyelids shut, the tears will spill over and he doesn’t want to cry in front of Mr. Torley.

Instead, he stares up at the ceiling fan, focusing on the long, thin blades of wood instead of the feeling of cool air against his lower half as the material is pulled away from him. He hears the rustle of cloth as his pants join the discarded shirt on the carpet at his feet, and then another sound of the same, this time heavier, but he doesn’t dare look away from the grey clump of dust dangling from one of the fan blades above him.

Worse than the chill of the exposure is the heat that follows in the form of skin on skin, an immovable weight settling over his body. His throat jerks in another attempt at a sob, a plea that can’t let free. He swallows it down and tells himself that if he just keeps staring at that one spot of dust, he isn’t really here, that his keeper is not on top of him, that this isn’t about to happen to him. 

But he is. It is. There’s no stopping it now. There never was.

“Look at me.” 

For the first time, he allows his eyes to slip shut in a quiet moment of defeat - just a singular moment of hesitation before he follows the command. He feels the moisture slipping out at the corners but he can’t do anything to stop them even if his hands weren’t being slowly pressed above his head and into the mattress. When he opens his eyes, he looks up into the cold expression hovering over him, fully eclipsing the spot of his previous focus. It’s just him now. It’s all him, every one of his senses besieged by the one person whose life he is supposed to center himself around now. In that context, perhaps this should feel exactly right. 

Somehow, it doesn’t. Not at all.