#DiSC conflict management

[disc-behavioral]

Conflict Resolution Skills

The DiSC® workplace certification program is instrumental in enhancing conflict resolution skills by providing a deep understanding of individual behavior and communication styles. Participants learn to recognize and interpret DiSC® profiles, which identify unique behavioral tendencies in themselves and others. It empowers professionals to address conflicts with empathy and flexibility, bridging gaps in understanding and reducing tensions. It promotes a harmonious work environment where conflicts are managed constructively, ultimately leading to better teamwork, improved relationships, and enhanced conflict resolution capabilities across the organization.

[skrunksthatwunk]

ok i just beat lucia's campaign. it's like 5 missions shorter has an actual story and is like. wayyyy less painful

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Apple fucked us on right to repair (again)

Today (September 22), I'm (virtually) presenting at the DIG Festival in Modena, Italy. Tonight, I'll be in person at LA's Book Soup for the launch of Justin C Key's "The World Wasn’t Ready for You." On September 27, I'll be at Chevalier's Books in Los Angeles with Brian Merchant for a joint launch for my new book The Internet Con and his new book, Blood in the Machine.

Right to repair has no cannier, more dedicated adversary than Apple, a company whose most innovative work is dreaming up new ways to sneakily sabotage electronics repair while claiming to be a caring environmental steward, a lie that covers up the mountains of e-waste that Apple dooms our descendants to wade through.

Why does Apple hate repair so much? It's not that they want to poison our water and bodies with microplastics; it's not that they want to hasten the day our coastal cities drown; it's not that they relish the human misery that accompanies every gram of conflict mineral. They aren't sadists. They're merely sociopathically greedy.

Tim Cook laid it out for his investors: when people can repair their devices, they don't buy new ones. When people don't buy new devices, Apple doesn't sell them new devices. It's that's simple:

https://www.inverse.com/article/52189-tim-cook-says-apple-faces-2-key-problems-in-surprising-shareholder-letter

So Apple does everything it can to monopolize repair. Not just because this lets the company gouge you on routine service, but because it lets them decide when your phone is beyond repair, so they can offer you a trade-in, ensuring both that you buy a new device and that the device you buy is another Apple.

There are so many tactics Apple gets to use to sabotage repair. For example, Apple engraves microscopic Apple logos on the subassemblies in its devices. This allows the company to enlist US Customs to seize and destroy refurbished parts that are harvested from dead phones by workers in the Pacific Rim:

https://repair.eu/news/apple-uses-trademark-law-to-strengthen-its-monopoly-on-repair/

Of course, the easiest way to prevent harvested components from entering the parts stream is to destroy as many old devices as possible. That's why Apple's so-called "recycling" program shreds any devices you turn over to them. When you trade in your old iPhone at an Apple Store, it is converted into immortal e-waste (no other major recycling program does this). The logic is straightforward: no parts, no repairs:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/yp73jw/apple-recycling-iphones-macbooks

Shredding parts and cooking up bogus trademark claims is just for starters, though. For Apple, the true anti-repair innovation comes from the most pernicious US tech law: Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA).

DMCA 1201 is an "anti-circumvention" law. It bans the distribution of any tool that bypasses "an effective means of access control." That's all very abstract, but here's what it means: if a manufacturer sticks some Digital Rights Management (DRM) in its device, then anything you want to do that involves removing that DRM is now illegal – even if the thing itself is perfectly legal.

When Congress passed this stupid law in 1998, it had a very limited blast radius. Computers were still pretty expensive and DRM use was limited to a few narrow categories. In 1998, DMCA 1201 was mostly used to prevent you from de-regionalizing your DVD player to watch discs that had been released overseas but not in your own country.

But as we warned back then, computers were only going to get smaller and cheaper, and eventually, it would only cost manufacturers pennies to wrap their products – or even subassemblies in their products – in DRM. Congress was putting a gun on the mantelpiece in Act I, and it was bound to go off in Act III.

Welcome to Act III.

Today, it costs about a quarter to add a system-on-a-chip to even the tiniest parts. These SOCs can run DRM. Here's how that DRM works: when you put a new part in a device, the SOC and the device's main controller communicate with one another. They perform a cryptographic protocol: the part says, "Here's my serial number," and then the main controller prompts the user to enter a manufacturer-supplied secret code, and the master controller sends a signed version of this to the part, and the part and the system then recognize each other.

This process has many names, but because it was first used in the automotive sector, it's widely known as VIN-Locking (VIN stands for "vehicle identification number," the unique number given to every car by its manufacturer). VIN-locking is used by automakers to block independent mechanics from repairing your car; even if they use the manufacturer's own parts, the parts and the engine will refuse to work together until the manufacturer's rep keys in the unlock code:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

VIN locking is everywhere. It's how John Deere stops farmers from fixing their own tractors – something farmers have done literally since tractors were invented:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/08/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors/

It's in ventilators. Like mobile phones, ventilators are a grotesquely monopolized sector, controlled by a single company Medtronic, whose biggest claim to fame is effecting the world's largest tax inversion in order to manufacture the appearance that it is an Irish company and therefore largely untaxable. Medtronic used the resulting windfall to gobble up most of its competitors.

During lockdown, as hospitals scrambled to keep their desperately needed supply of ventilators running, Medtronic's VIN-locking became a lethal impediment. Med-techs who used donor parts from one ventilator to keep another running – say, transplanting a screen – couldn't get the device to recognize the part because all the world's civilian aircraft were grounded, meaning Medtronic's technicians couldn't swan into their hospitals to type in the unlock code and charge them hundreds of dollars.

The saving grace was an anonymous, former Medtronic repair tech, who built pirate boxes to generate unlock codes, using any housing they could lay hands on to use as a case: guitar pedals, clock radios, etc. This tech shipped these gadgets around the world, observing strict anonymity, because Article 6 of the EUCD also bans circumvention:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/10/flintstone-delano-roosevelt/#medtronic-again

Of course, Apple is a huge fan of VIN-locking. In phones, VIN-locking is usually called "serializing" or "parts-pairing," but it's the same thing: a tiny subassembly gets its own microcontroller whose sole purpose is to prevent independent repair technicians from fixing your gadget. Parts-pairing lets Apple block repairs even when the technician uses new, Apple parts – but it also lets Apple block refurb parts and third party parts.

For many years, Apple was the senior partner and leading voice in blocking state Right to Repair bills, which it killed by the dozen, leading a coalition of monopolists, from Wahl (who boobytrap their hair-clippers with springs that cause their heads irreversibly decompose if you try to sharpen them at home) to John Deere (who reinvented tenant farming by making farmers tenants of their tractors, rather than their land).

But Apple's opposition to repair eventually became a problem for the company. It's bad optics, and both Apple customers and Apple employees are volubly displeased with the company's ecocidal conduct. But of course, Apple's management and shareholders hate repair and want to block it as much as possible.

But Apple knows how to Think Differently. It came up with a way to eat its cake and have it, too. The company embarked on a program of visibly support right to repair, while working behind the scenes to sabotage it.

Last year, Apple announced a repair program. It was hilarious. If you wanted to swap your phone's battery, all you had to do was let Apple put a $1200 hold on your credit card, and then wait while the company shipped you 80 pounds' worth of specialized tools, packed in two special Pelican cases:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/22/apples-cement-overshoes/

Then, you swapped your battery, but you weren't done! After your battery was installed, you had to conference in an authorized Apple tech who would tell you what code to type into a laptop you tethered to the phone in order to pair it with your phone. Then all you had to do was lug those two 40-pound Pelican cases to a shipping depot and wait for Apple to take the hold off your card (less the $120 in parts and fees).

By contrast, independent repair outfits like iFixit will sell you all the tools you need to do your own battery swap – including the battery! for $32. The whole kit fits in a padded envelope:

https://www.ifixit.com/products/iphone-x-replacement-battery

But while Apple was able to make a showy announcement of its repair program and then hide the malicious compliance inside those giant Pelican cases, sabotaging right to repair legislation is a lot harder.

Not that they didn't try. When New York State passed the first general electronics right-to-repair bill in the country, someone convinced New York Governor Kathy Hochul to neuter it with last-minute modifications:

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2022/12/weakened-right-to-repair-bill-is-signed-into-law-by-new-yorks-governor/

But that kind of trick only works once. When California's right to repair bill was introduced, it was clear that it was gonna pass. Rather than get run over by that train, Apple got on board, supporting the legislation, which passed unanimously:

https://www.ifixit.com/News/79902/apples-u-turn-tech-giant-finally-backs-repair-in-california

But Apple got the last laugh. Because while California's bill contains many useful clauses for the independent repair shops that keep your gadgets out of a landfill, it's a state law, and DMCA 1201 is federal. A state law can't simply legalize the conduct federal law prohibits. California's right to repair bill is a banger, but it has a weak spot: parts-pairing, the scourge of repair techs:

https://www.ifixit.com/News/69320/how-parts-pairing-kills-independent-repair

Every generation of Apple devices does more parts-pairing than the previous one, and the current models are so infested with paired parts as to be effectively unrepairable, except by Apple. It's so bad that iFixit has dropped its repairability score for the iPhone 14 from a 7 ("recommend") to a 4 (do not recommend):

https://www.ifixit.com/News/82493/we-are-retroactively-dropping-the-iphones-repairability-score-en

Parts-pairing is bullshit, and Apple are scum for using it, but they're hardly unique. Parts-pairing is at the core of the fuckery of inkjet printer companies, who use it to fence out third-party ink, so they can charge $9,600/gallon for ink that pennies to make:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Parts-pairing is also rampant in powered wheelchairs, a heavily monopolized sector whose predatory conduct is jaw-droppingly depraved:

https://uspirgedfund.org/reports/usp/stranded

But if turning phones into e-waste to eke out another billion-dollar stock buyback is indefensible, stranding people with disabilities for months at a time while they await repairs is so obviously wicked that the conscience recoils. That's why it was so great when Colorado passed the nation's first wheelchair right to repair bill last year:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/06/when-drm-comes-your-wheelchair

California actually just passed two right to repair bills; the other one was SB-271, which mirrors Colorado's HB22-1031:

https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billNavClient.xhtml?bill_id=202320240SB271

This is big! It's momentum! It's a start!

But it can't be the end. When Bill Clinton signed DMCA 1201 into law 25 years ago, he loaded a gun and put it on the nation's mantlepiece and now it's Act III and we're all getting sprayed with bullets. Everything from ovens to insulin pumps, thermostats to lightbulbs, has used DMCA 1201 to limit repair, modification and improvement.

Congress needs to rid us of this scourge, to let us bring back all the benefits of interoperability. I explain how this all came to be – and what we should do about it – in my new Verso Books title, The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation.

https://www.versobooks.com/products/3035-the-internet-con

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently

Image: Mitch Barrie (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Daytona_Skeleton_AR-15_completed_rifle_%2817551907724%29.jpg

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

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kambanji (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/kambanji/4135216486/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

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Rawpixel (modified) https://www.rawpixel.com/image/12438797/png-white-background

[sorenphelps]

I work in Corporate, and as i was promoted to Manager this year, i had to attend a lot of “Business skills” trainings… and of course, i’m about to apply the gathered knowledge to my Marauders headcanons😅

So here’s a very brief summary of my thoughts about their DISC profiles:

All right, I’m just gonna assume that all of you know the basics about DISC, the colours might be different, but the name of each profile and characteristics are the same in all versions. Also as almost everyone has a mixture of these profiles, i decided to go with the two most prominent one for each of them.

Starting with James, who is a D and an I (red/yellow), because while he is also a big nerd, he is definitely too extroverted to have high results on the left side of this DISC wheel. He’s a true leader, has a very strong moral compass, but he is generally a funny dude. Judging from his actions in canon, he is definitely a do it immediately kind of guy. He can connect to Sirius the most as they both share the D/red profile, and he also works good with Peter via their shared I/yellow profile. His opposite is Remus, and while he obviously loves and supports him in canon, i think he would feel conflicted about some of Remus’ actions the same way as his son was multiple times.

Peter is an I and S (yellow/green) profile, the S/green is more obvius why, but considering how he liked to sourround himself with powerful people and how much attention he gave to James, i think the I/yellow is not that far-fetched, especially if you consider that he was really a spy and could frame Sirius, he must be at least a little influencing/manipulative. He can connect to James via their shared I/yellow profile, and to Remus even more via their shared S/green profile. This is highlighted if you consider him being friends to Remus first and only getting “adopted” to this friend group later by James as a canon fact. His opposite is Sirius, and it’s sort of obvious how they connect the least with each other.

Remus is a S and C (green/blue) profile, he is not good with conflicts, and he is the most introverted out of the four. He is also quite a nerd, he enjoys researching, that’s how he can connect the most with Sirius, through their shared C/blue profile. He connects to Péter via their shared S/green profile, as Péter can sort of trigger the “mother hen” tendencies of Remus by presenting himself as weak (especially when Sirius is mean to him). His opposite would be James, however as James is a true leader and Remus likes to follow on main, their relationship still works out.

Sirius is a C and D (blue/red) profile, because he is the most task focused of the group to the point of seeming rude and cold to others. He values knowledge and he is very analytical, he does the research because he is geniunely interested and wants to go deeper. He also has strong morals (and even a temper), no wonder he connects best to James via their shared D/red profile. He can also connect to Remus via their shared C/blue profile, while his opposite is Peter, who posesses all those characteristics that Sirius just can’t really connect to, and are probably the least tolerant to even in his other mates.

[sensualnoiree]

astro notes: the conjunction

Conjunction

A conjunction signifies the union and beginning of a new cycle or process, symbolizing perfect togetherness and polarization without conflict. When two planets conjoin, their energies merge, creating a powerful synergy that sets the tone for the unfolding events. This union can vary in ease depending on the nature of the planets involved. For instance, Saturn conjunct Venus may bring a disciplined and structured approach to relationships and affection. The effects of a conjunction are often profound, influencing both conscious and unconscious realms, and may not be immediately clear, requiring reflection to fully understand its impact. The conjunction carries the potential for various expressions, resembling other aspects such as trines, sextiles, squares, or oppositions, depending on the planets involved and their inherent compatibility.

A Few Examples

Mars + Mercury Conjunction

This conjunction brings a dynamic fusion of action and intellect. Mars, representing drive, aggression, and physical energy, combines with Mercury's mental agility, communication, and analytical skills. This synergy can manifest as sharp, quick thinking and decisive action. It is an excellent time for initiating projects that require both mental and physical effort. However, the intensity of Mars may also lead to impatience or verbal conflicts if not managed well. This conjunction encourages assertive communication and the pursuit of intellectual goals with vigor and determination.

Mercury + Venus Conjunction

When Mercury, the planet of communication and intellect, conjoins with Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and harmony, the result is a blend of eloquence and charm. This conjunction enhances social interactions, making it an ideal time for negotiations, artistic expressions, and romantic conversations. Communication becomes more pleasant and persuasive, fostering harmonious relationships. It's a period that favors creative writing, artistic endeavors, and any activity that combines intellect with aesthetics. The influence of Venus softens Mercury’s analytical nature, bringing a more compassionate and diplomatic approach to interactions.

Mars + Jupiter Conjunction

The conjunction of Mars and Jupiter combines Mars’ assertive, action-oriented energy with Jupiter’s expansive, optimistic, and growth-focused influence. This powerful synergy can lead to enthusiastic and confident pursuits of goals, with a strong drive for achievement and success. It's a time for taking bold initiatives, embracing new challenges, and pursuing opportunities for growth and expansion. However, the exuberance of Jupiter combined with Mars' impulsiveness can also lead to overconfidence or recklessness if not tempered with caution. This conjunction encourages taking calculated risks and aiming high, as long as one remains mindful of potential excesses.

Moon + Saturn Conjunction

The Moon, symbolizing emotions, instincts, and subconscious, conjoins with Saturn, the planet of discipline, structure, and limitations. This combination can create a sense of emotional restraint and seriousness, encouraging introspection and emotional maturity. It’s a time for facing responsibilities, dealing with emotional issues methodically, and building emotional resilience. While this conjunction might bring feelings of loneliness or heaviness, it also offers the opportunity for emotional growth and the establishment of solid emotional foundations. Practicality and a realistic approach to emotional matters are highlighted.

Jupiter + Mercury Conjunction

The conjunction of Jupiter, the planet of expansion, wisdom, and growth, with Mercury, the planet of communication and intellect, creates an expansive and optimistic mindset. This conjunction enhances learning, teaching, and communication, promoting intellectual growth and the sharing of knowledge. It's an excellent time for studying, writing, traveling, and engaging in philosophical or spiritual discussions. The combination encourages broad thinking and optimism, making it easier to see the bigger picture and communicate ideas effectively. However, there's a risk of overestimating one’s knowledge or being overly verbose, so it's important to maintain balance.

Sun + Mars Conjunction

When the Sun, representing identity, vitality, and core self, conjoins with Mars, the planet of action, energy, and assertiveness, the result is a surge of vitality and drive. This conjunction amplifies confidence, courage, and a proactive approach to life. It’s a time for taking bold actions, asserting oneself, and pursuing personal goals with enthusiasm. The increased energy and determination can lead to significant achievements and personal growth. However, the intensity of this conjunction can also lead to impatience or confrontations if not channeled constructively. It's crucial to balance assertiveness with mindfulness to avoid conflicts.

follow for more astro insights like this and head on over to @quenysefields or etsy sensualnoiree to book a session with me :)

[scribbling-dragon]

a gift, from me to you

summary:

“Pray tell, then, what is it you want me to do?” “I want you to make this.” The Sheriff taps on the design detailing the measurements and everything else he wants. “Please,” he adds, seemingly remembering his manners. “Mm.” Scott pretends to consider it. “I’ll see what I can do for you, lover boy.” [Or: Jimmy gets a hat for Tango]

(ao3 link)

(5,157 words)

Jimmy pauses, frowning as the sound of shouting outside only continues to increase in volume. He had hoped that ignoring it for this long would be enough for the simmering flame of a fight to die down. That fight has apparently sparked into a blaze, as a fourth voice joins the fray.

He casts a mournful glance over towards Tango, hoping that his partner and newly promoted second-Sheriff might take initiative and attempt to solve the problem.

“I'm not their beloved Sheriff,” Tango says, not even looking up – he’s not even doing work! He’s tinkering with some little…metal thing, poking and prodding at it.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t need to,” Tango glances up at him for a moment, eyes alight with amusement as he takes in Jimmy’s appearance. He looks back down a second later, pulling a copper-redstone wire between his claws, before poking around in the metal thing’s insides.

…Maybe it’s better for his safety to go and defuse the argument. Outside. Away from the potentially explosive trinket that Tango has brought to their office this time.

He sighs and stands up, feeling far more tired than he reasonably should be – the sun is only beginning to descend from its zenith and the cooler air should make him feel more energetic.

He doesn’t.

Instead, he fumbles around, reaching for his hat where he’d tossed it off earlier. Only to frown as his hand comes up empty, landing on cool wood instead. He turns his head, already frowning as he tries to figure out which corner of his desk he tossed his hat onto this time.

It’s not there.

He stands there for longer than he’d like to admit to, simply staring at his empty desk – okay, maybe not empty with all the clutter littering his desk. But he can find everything! It’s an organised chaos, and sure, things go missing temporarily but he always manages to find it in the end.

The shouting outside reaches a new peak, and there’s the sound of something heavy being overturned.

“Tango, have you seen my hat?” his voice comes out a little bit panicked, mostly because there seems to be actual destruction going on outside, but also partially because his hat has gone missing. What is a Sheriff without their hat? Not a Sheriff at all, that’s what!

“Mm.” Tango still sounds amused, which isn’t unusual but is maybe a little inappropriate right now. Another thing crashes and he winces. “Why don't you tell me?” Tango’s voice is pleased, something that makes Jimmy’s sixth sense (specifically related to Tango and him doing something that he shouldn’t be) light up, prickling along the back of his neck.

He turns back to face Tango. Tango, who is still tinkering away with his little trinket, poking around in its insides. Tango, who is currently wearing his hat.

“Ah,” he frowns. His hat is a little too big for Tango’s head, and he’s got it tipped too far forward so the brim is drooping over most of his face. “Can I have it?”

Tango tilts his head back, far enough that he looks like he’s going to tip out of his chair. The sounds of destruction outside have died down for now, at least. He’s still anxious to get out there and resolve whatever petty conflict escalated this far.

“Please,” he adds, noticing Tango’s raised eyebrow.

“Of course, dearest.” Tango says, but he doesn’t offer the hat out for him. Nor does he take it off. “Can’t have the darling Sheriff spotted without his hat, hm?”

Tango’s eyes shine teasingly, and Jimmy understands just what Tango is angling for as he steps forward and that pleased grin curls up even further. He sighs, shaking his head in fond amusement as the sounds of argument die down into a more civil discussion. He still needs to figure out what they’ve managed to damage, unfortunately, even if they seem to have resolved the argument by themselves.

“Thank you,” he plucks the hat from Tango’s head, completely missing when tango snakes his arms out, wrapping around his waist and pulling him forward. That, coupled with Tango’s tail wrapping tightly around his legs means he almost falls directly onto his partner.

“They’ve resolved it themselves,” Tango tells him, even as Jimmy rights the hat on his head. Where it belongs. He continues to hold onto him, thumbs resting just above his hip bones, trinket seemingly forgotten about, discarded on Tango’s desk. “There’s no point in running out there and demanding answers, hm?”

“I need to find out what they were tossing about. And why.”

He doesn’t even bother to try and free himself from Tango’s grip. The man is like an overly clingy octopus on some days, reluctant to release Jimmy and let him go about his day without a shadow following his every footstep. He had thought today was one of the days where Tango seemed to forget anyone else existed other than him, but he seemed to just be biding his time until Jimmy got close enough to be captured.

He sighs, though he cannot deny it’s overwhelmingly fond. If any of their friends were here right now, Jimmy is certain they’d be gagging and turning away, as though they were doing something far worse than hugging.

“C’mon, I’ll be back in a second.”

Tango pauses for a moment, then hums once and releases him.

“There, see? Look, I’ll even give this to you to look after until I'm back.”

Before he can think any further on it, before he can think enough to decide it’s actually a bad idea, he takes his hat off again and plonks it onto Tango’s head. He then turns and escapes the office as fast as he can, ignoring Tango’s confused little sound and resisting the urge to look back and see what expression he’s pulling.

He then gives in and sneaks a glance.

Okay, maybe giving the hat back was more for his own benefit than Tango’s. Sue him! He didn’t realise that Tango actually suited a hat, alright?! How could he, when the only time Tango has worn a hat before was in the dark, and Jimmy was far too preoccupied with getting said hat back from his partner’s sticky fingers.

His eyes linger a little longer than appropriate on Tango before he forcefully turns himself around and marches into the street to sort out whatever stupid, petty argument someone’s had today. One that warranted shoving someone’s cart hard enough to topple the whole thing over.

His heart isn’t really in reprimanding them, even if they look like a pair of guilty children than have been found painting the walls. Instead, he’s far more focused on the beginnings of an idea that are coming together in his mind.

===

Scott appreciates the quiet nights. The ones that have plenty of patrons, but none of his more rowdy ones. The ones that like to cause trouble, the ones that come here looking for trouble. Most of them have been identified and given to the staff so they know to be wary when those customers come knocking.

He could just outright ban him – the Sheriff has pleaded with him several times to just ban them rather than forcing him to ride all the way from the mesa because they’ve decided to start a fight and Scott cannot be bothered to sort it himself. But a paying customer is a paying customer, and most of them have the good decency to go outside before they start fighting, greatly reducing his expenses for replacing broken glasses.

Perhaps it was his own fault for even daring to utter ‘quiet’ in the privacy of his own mind. Maybe there’s some god out there that read his thoughts and decided to shove this particular problem in his direction, for him to deal with, just for the gall to enjoy a nice, slow evening.

His first warning of the incoming visitor is when someone hurries into the tavern on near-silent feet, but every single one of his shadier patrons perks up at her entrance.

Scott watches her too, well-aware that there is often some kind of lookout watching for any kind of law enforcement when some kind of deal is going on. He grits his teeth. Which means that someone is doing deals in his tavern without his permission.

He sets the clean glass down on the counter and raises a singular eyebrow at the group highest on his suspect list.

He’s had issues with them in previous months, where they didn’t want to pay the pocket change they owed him because he let them make dealings inside his tavern. He charges a fair price for the business he allows behind closed doors, for someone to even attempt to scam him? They're lucky he didn’t do something worse than what he did.

He jerks his head towards the door, keeping his eye very firmly fixed on the leader of that group. The entire table vanishes, scrambling out the door.

A few other patrons leave as the news about the Sheriff’s impending arrival reaches more and more ears.

He watches them go, more than a little bitter that the Sheriff is chasing his business away. Whatever he wants, it better be good.

He raises an eyebrow when the Sheriff finally enters, clutching something close to his chest as he makes an immediate beeline for him. Several pairs of eyes follow him across the tavern, people beginning to relax once they realise that the Sheriff is here for Scott rather than any of his patrons.

“Good evening, Sheriff.”

“Scott,” the Sheriff greets, not even having the manners to return his cordial greeting. “I need you to do something for me.”

“Oh?” He blinks as the Sheriff slams whatever he was clutching down onto the bar countertop, spreading the paper out so Scott can see the scribbles on the surface. “I wasn’t aware you were interested in leatherworking.” Slightly ironic, seeing as the Sheriff has a tiny relation to the same animals this leather is taken from. Not that it seems to bother him, what with the leather hat and leather jacket.

“I'm not.”

“Pray tell, then, what is it you want me to do?”

“I want you to make this.” The Sheriff taps on the design detailing the measurements and everything else he wants. “Please,” he adds, seemingly remembering his manners.

“Mm.” Scott pretends to consider it. “I’ll see what I can do for you, lover boy.”

“I- what did you call me?”

“You heard me,” Scott grins. “Of course, I'm assuming you're going to pay me for this, yes? My skills with…this are much sought after. I wouldn’t want it to come to light that the darling Sheriff was…extorting his friends, hm?”

“Of course I’ll pay you. Name your price.”

“He really does have you wrapped around his finger. You, my dear Sheriff, are an absolute sucker.”

The Sheriff ignores him. A valiant effort. “When will it be ready for me to pick up?”

“Give me a week.” He holds his hand out, “Half of the payment now, and half then. Have we got a deal?” He wiggles his fingers teasingly, waiting for the Sheriff to take his hand and seal the deal. He gets a sour look instead. Ah, too smart for those tricks, it seems. He lowers his hand again, only mildly disappointed.

“How much do I owe you?”

===

“You're acting weird.”

“What?” Jimmy says, in a weird, not at all normal voice. “No I'm not!”

Tango stops and stares at him. He hopes his face correctly conveys enough of the what the hell and you're joking, right? sentiment he was going for. Jimmy winces and looks guilty, so he’ll call that a mission success.

“Did you break something?” he asks. Maybe Jimmy went poking around in his workshop again and found something – it wouldn’t be the first time that he’s accidentally broken one of Tango’s projects, and it probably won’t be the last time.

He can’t find it in himself to care when Jimmy does break some of his inventions, either, as he can just piece them back together. What’s the point in making something that he wouldn’t be able to fix if it broke? Plus, most of them are hastily cobbled together from scraps when the inspiration struck him, and then promptly abandoned.

“Ah, no I didn’t break anything.” Jimmy shakes his head hard enough that Tango momentarily worries that it’s going to unscrew itself and fly away. It doesn’t, thankfully. “I just…have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?”

He loves surprises. Especially ones that he gets to find out immediately – the suspense kills him every single time, meaning if he has to wait for longer than a few hours, maybe a day at most, to find out what it is, he might just combust. Sometimes literally.

“Yes,” Jimmy laughs, his eyes squinting shut. Tango grins up at him, not caring that Jimmy’s giggling at his enthusiasm, because the laugh isn’t mean, just excited and endeared. “It’s at home.”

“And what is it that you’ve gotten me?”

“You have to wait,” Jimmy pushes at his shoulder. “That’s the point of a surprise.”

“But you could just tell me now, couldn’t you?” Tango teases. “I'm about to find out in a second, what’s the point of waiting – I’ll have the same reaction all over again when you show it to me, I promise.”

“Just go look,” Jimmy says with a laugh, pushing him through their front door.

“Alright, alright…” he stops. And he stares. And stares…and stares a little more. “Huh.” Is what he manages to say when everything seems to have resettled in his mind, clicking mostly back into the right places.

“Do you not like it? It’s fine if you don't, I just thought that-”

“Shut up,” Tango tells him, and then decides that’s not enough and kisses him instead. “Thank you,” he says when he pulls back. He would normally linger in a moment like that for longer, but his hands are itching to pick the hat up and run his hands over the leather.

“I love it,” he tells Jimmy, when the hat is comfortably resting on his head. It has little leather dangling bits around the brim which sway back and forth when he moves. He wobbles his head, just to make them swish. “I love you.”

“Ah, Tango!” Jimmy covers his face with his hands. “Gods, warn a guy before you say something like that next time?”

“But you go so red every time I do! How can I resist!”

He wobbles his head again, just to watch the tassels swing. Damn. He can see why Jimmy likes his hat, this thing makes him feel important.

===

Time is the best solution for any malady, just…leave something alone for long enough and everything should sort itself out all nice.

So why is it that he still dreads the flight up to Stratos? It’s a short flight, one that barely takes a few seconds, one that starts in the village flourishing in the shadow of the citadel above, and ends with his hooves touching down on the grass outlining the main pathways of the island.

The gold of the citadel is blindingly bright this early in the morning, everything turning molten in the sunlight. The quartz reflects the light equally bright, and it forces him to squint his eyes against the light.

He’s going to blame his shoddy landing on his half-closed eyes, attempting to not blind himself this meeting. He stumbles, the tip of on hoof catching on the very edge of the island and sending him forward, grasping for his balance again. Tango catches his elbow and pulls him back upright, thankfully before he can make even more of a fool of himself and do something stupid like fall on his face, though it’s not done without a snicker.

“Sorry, sorry,” Tango looks away, tilting his new hat down over his face so Jimmy can’t see it as well. He can still see well enough to spot the barely repressed grin, even as the leather tassels drift about his face and cast an even deeper shadow. His ears flick a few times as the leather strips bump into them, brushing over the short fur, Tango obviously still unused to wearing the hat and all the accessories that come with it. “I'm not laughing. Promise.”

“I can see you grinning.”

Tango’s apology would have been far more convincing if he couldn’t see the way Tango’s ears continue to tremble, even after the leather strips stop irritating them, shaking with the repressed giggles that Tango is biting back.

“No, you can’t.” Tango turns his face even further away, warm hand slipping away from Jimmy’s elbow as he tugs his hat down, lower over his face. His tail continues to flick back and forth, betraying his continued amusement at Jimmy’s expense, flames sputtering in time with his silent laughs.

“It’s really not that funny,” he complains. And maybe he’s whining a little bit, but it makes Tango turn back to him, amused gleam continuing to shine in his eyes. “I don't make fun of you for hiding from the rain!”

“You don't, you don't,” Tango huffs out a laugh, then turns to properly face him once more. “C’mon, best we get this over with, yeah?”

Jimmy clicks his tongue at Tango’s blatant dislike for Joel. “We’re allies now,” he reminds. It’s a tentative alliance, for sure, but it’s an alliance nonetheless. He doesn’t have many of those, and having a god (no matter how egotistical that god is) on his side – their side – is comforting. Even if it means getting up at the worst possible times because the god seems to rise with the goddamn sun.

He pulls Tango back when he goes to walk away, ignoring the confused, inquisitive noise that Tango makes when he pulls him around to look at his face.

He stares at Tango for several long moments, hand resting on the juncture between Tango’s shoulder and neck. He brushes his hand up and adjusts Tango’s hat, so it’s not covering his face so much anymore.

He can’t help but linger for a moment, the back of his hand grazing against Tango’s cheek. “There,” he pats Tango’s cheek, “much better like that. Now,” he takes the lead, “remember to be polite.”

“Oh, you wanna talk?” Tango scoffs a laugh, turning to chase after him. Jimmy’s face still feels a little warm from staring longingly into Tango’s eyes for several long moments just seconds ago. And…maybe Tango’s a little right, yeah, maybe most of their trade agreements and whatnot are spent trying to figure out what petty jab to use next, and when to use it for maximum effect.

Tango’s told him several times that he should be the bigger person and not to return the jabs, that only encourages him! But Jimmy has also watched Tango, the biggest advocator for maintaining a professional persona while working and also the biggest hypocrite he knows, make several rude and aggressive gestures at Joel’s back the moment the god turns away.

…He’s beginning to see why most of the times he managed to arrest Tango was after he had been ganged up on by other bandits.

“And being allies,” he continues, ignoring Tango. “Means that we need to be courteous.”

“He’s not here yet,” Tango says. “And just you wait, you’ll be eating your words the moment ‘toy’ drops out of his mouth.”

Jimmy doesn’t have a responding argument for that. Mostly because Tango is right and also because they’ve just arrived at the arranged meeting spot. The arranged meeting spot where Joel is already present and ready, probably preparing to shame them for being late by three seconds, or something equally stupid.

And despite the stupidly early hour, Joel is lounging casually and drinking something from a crudely made mug. It’s a far cry from the things Joel makes for himself, let alone deems worthy enough to be used by his holier than thou hands.

The words trip out of his mouth before he can even process anything else about their surroundings: “Did you sit on that mug halfway through making it?” The mug really does look quite squashed, wonky, and with a far too large handle. The handle is larger than the rest of the mug. “Why’d you still stick it in the kiln looking like that?”

It’s meant as an insult. A small thing designed to irritate the god and make him eager to get them out of Stratos as soon as possible. A short meeting with the god is the most desirable kind.

What he didn’t account for, however, is the small child sat just beside Joel. Though, instead of sitting in a chair, he’s seated on the lush grass. Hermes pauses what he was doing – some kind of drawing in a little sketchbook, so similar to the one that Joel carries around with him – to look up.

“Does my mug…look like someone sat on it?”

Shit.

“Not at all.” Joel stares at him, but even the unrelenting gaze promising a slow and painful death doesn’t manage to pull Jimmy’s eyes away from the child’s face, and how Hermes looks as though he might burst into tears at any second.

Shit.

He’s floundering, lost amongst a sea of words and grasping for literally anything that might save him from his fast-approaching death. One that Joel is already constructing in his mind’s eye, raising the executioner’s axe in preparation for the first tears being shed.

“Oh no, no,” his saviour is not some half-baked excuse and apology rolled into one that he managed to come up with to smooth ruffled feathers and assure the child of his incredible pottery skills. Instead, his saviour comes in the form of his wonderful, fantastic and stunning partner stepping up – quite literally.

He crosses the grass in a few strides, shawl flapping around him and flames curling with anxiety. He crouches down beside Hermes, not quite touching the demigod child, but his hands remain hovering over the child’s arms.

“What the Sheriff meant to say,” Jimmy winces, “is that your mug is wonderfully unique! I’ve never before seen such use of angles and lines, and the colours too…”

Tango’s voice trails off, though his mouth continues moving, without words. It takes Jimmy a few moments to process that it is his hearing that has failed him, not that Tango’s silver tongue has given up and left him fumbling for more words to continue comforting the child in front of them.

All that filters through his head is muffled, as though he has dunked his head underwater as everyone else continues to talk around him.

He watches as Hermes brightens beneath Tango’s praise, his uncertain frown transforming into a beaming grin as he begins gesturing wildly, hands flying all over the place. His drawings are abandoned, seemingly forgotten, as he focuses instead on speaking with Tango.

And the latter nods along attentively. If Jimmy’s ears were working properly he’s certain he would hear the way Tango normally hums along when he’s listening to something – he can almost hear the sound, can feel the vibration of it within his own chest, familiar and comforting in its cadence – and he’d be able to hear Tango asking questions, keeping the child engaged and distracted from Jimmy’s earlier shoving-his-foot-in-his-mouth moment.

“Hm,” he tries not to startle at the sudden return of his hearing and the even more sudden appearance of Joel beside him. He didn’t even see the man stand up, let alone make his way over here – get it together Jimmy! Tango might look incredibly endearing and loveable right now, but if this was any other occasion such distraction could be fatal! …Oh, who was he kidding. If this was a lethal situation and Tango revealed that he was good with kids, Jimmy would be a dead man.

“I wouldn’t have thought Tango was so good with children.” Joel echoes his own thoughts exactly. “Did you know this?”

“…No?”

Joel side-eyes him. “You don't sound very certain of yourself.”

Well, not all of us are self-assured, egotistical maniacs.

“Well, I've never seen him interact with children before,” Jimmy says, incredibly diplomatic compared to his original thoughts. “And, apparently,” he gestures at the scene in front of them helplessly, unable to communicate further.

Tango’s gone from kneeling in front of Hermes to sitting beside him, watching as the child flips through his sketchbook and narrates every brushstroke to him.

“Hm.” Joel responds.

It’s an unusually concise response from the god, but he doesn’t have much to say either today, stunned to silence by Tango’s apparent ability to comfort and then entertain a child for longer than five minutes. He’d thought Tango’s skill with children extended to his abilities to deal with babies – non-existent.

“He’s good with kids,” Joel says. “I’ll give him that…say, how much d’you think he’d charge for a babysitting service?”

“You're not paying my partner to babysit your kid. He has more important things to be doing.”

“Haha, I'm sure he does.”

“Don't be disgusting, Hermes is right there.” Joel doesn’t flinch as Jimmy jabs him in the side, only giving him an unimpressed look that just says: you think that would hurt me, mere mortal? Or something equally pretentious.

“I was talking about the obvious signature of getting promoted,” Joel side-eyes him again- seriously, would it kill him to actually look at Jimmy properly for once! “What were you talking about?” He has a grin on his face that Jimmy knows means Joel knows exactly what it is that he was implying, and Joel knows that Jimmy knows this.

He, very maturely, does not rise to the bait.

“You mean the hat.”

“It’s an interesting little thing. You commission Scott to do it?”

“Yeah.” He pauses. “How could you tell?”

“A guess.” Joel glances over at him from the corner of his eye. “Mostly because I know you're an absolute sucker for him and would settle for nothing but the best.”

“I am not a sucker for him-”

“Oh, look,” Joel interrupts him. “He’s letting Hermes try the hat on.”

What?

He looks over to the scene he’d momentarily dismissed in order to argue with Joel properly, pausing as he takes it in. He watches Tango laugh when the hat slips over Hermes’ face and makes it disappear completely.

His eyes go all squinty as he laughs, the creases around his eyes only increasing as Hermes lifts the hat to glare at him from beneath it, having to brush aside the leather tassels to actually see him.

It’s an unfairly attractive quality of Tango that Jimmy hadn’t even realised existed until a few minutes ago.

It distracts him throughout the rest of the meeting, especially when Tango chooses to remain sitting on the ground and entertain Hermes for the duration of his and Joel’s discussion over the gunpowder prices, during which Jimmy has to explain why his prices are higher than the unethical creeper farms found on the edges of the mesa – most of which he's working on wiping out.

A few have inevitably fallen through the cracks, but he makes Joel, unwillingly, hand over the details of their locations so he can go hunt them down when he has the chance.

It's a relief, really, to have someone that entertains Hermes throughout the meeting. Where he would normally be sat on Joel’s knee or tugging at his toga for some kind of attention, now he’s content and docile, happy to sketch Tango in that wobbly and rather ugly way that only a child can achieve.

Tango still coos over the drawings Hermes shows him, acting as though he’s been gifted the most precious treasure when Hermes offers out one of said drawings at the end of the meeting, half-hiding behind Joel’s leg as he does so.

It’s only then that Tango manages to reclaim his hat from the child, settling it comfortably back on his head.

“So,” Jimmy says as they touch down into the village below, slowly making their way back to the village stables to collect their horses. “Good with kids?”

“I'm really not,” Tango scoffs. “What, you think I’d tell him to just shove off? You almost made the kid cry, dearest.”

“I didn’t think you’d sit and let him draw you.”

“The kid’s a budding artist,” Tango shrugs. “Who knows, maybe one day he’ll be incredibly famous and this drawing will be worth thousands.” He waves the small piece of paper around. The sketch on it is only recognisable as Tango because of the cat-like ears and the flame-tipped tail. “See, he’s signed it and everything.”

“That is barely legible as his name.” Jimmy says, though he does so with a smile.

“Uh-huh, alright, you wanna talk about you and Joel then? I thought you hated the guy but I look up and you two are laughing together?”

“I don't hate him, I just have a healthy dislike for him,” Jimmy protests. “I wouldn’t ally myself with someone I actively hate! And anyway, I was laughing at him not with him.”

“Sure, sure,” Tango nods along, speaking in a way that means he’s not at all convinced. “Only, I could’ve sworn you two looked like you were friends?”

“We’re not friends!” Jimmy’s protest this time is much louder, gaining the disapproving looks of many nearby villagers. He clamps his mouth shut, ears going hot with embarrassment. “I still don't like him.”

“Okay, alright,” Tango laughs. At his expense! Laughs at his suffering! “Not friends, got it.”

He’s still smiling like he knows something Jimmy doesn’t, though.

Most unfortunate of all is the look Tango sends him a moment later, grin flashing amongst the dark shadow of his hat over his face, eyes glinting dangerously; teasingly.

===

“It’s so stupid,” he bemoans, possibly for the third time, maybe the fourth. He hasn’t really been paying attention to how many times he’s complained, but it’s a few. More than one, at least.

“Uh-huh,” Scott couldn’t sound less interested if he tried. As it is, the tavern is almost completely dark around the two of them – the only two people left inside the building. Correction: only awake and mostly sober people left inside the building. “You’ve mentioned it.”

“And it’s your fault,” he accuses, pointing a finger at Scott’s back. He’s cleaning his glasses – all the man does is clean the glasses behind the bar, it’s like he has nothing better to do!

“My fault?” Scott turns around, cloth and glass still held in his hands. “How is it my fault? I made it all to your specifications, Sheriff. If anything, it’s your fault that Red looks so good in that hat.”

“Noo,” he slowly sinks down to the counter, resting his forehead against the cool wood.

“Shut up.”

[cdroloisms]

honestly, there's probably a lot you can say abt c!dream in terms of losing even when he wins. because, tbh, this is...consistent.

c!dream is very intelligent and very good at PVP and these are well-established traits from the beginning of the server. he is skilled at thinking strategically and therefore is often able to navigate unfavorable situations to him in order to successfully achieve some goal of his. in terms of achieving goals, c!Dream isn't half bad in the slightest! but how do these goals actually work out for him?

in the revolution, c!dream successfully leads his side to victory while minimizing damage to his own people (and, sometimes, minimizing damage across the board: see him telling his men to hold fire to allow lmanburgians to retrieve their items.) the most amount of risk to anyone on his side is during the duel, where he ended up on half a heart to determine the end result of the war. and it's quite undeniable that c!dream wins the war--he gets to set the terms of the peace, gives them "technical" independence as he planned to from the start but says that he and the rest of the Dream SMP will view them as constituents of the greater server and gets both discs after c!tommy offers them willingly. by all means, on paper, a glowing success.

only time passes and as others treat l'manburg as independent, he is forced to do the same. "suck it green boy" becomes one of the most common catchphrases of the server when the independence that was granted them in the book that this statement was written was. literally given to them out of c!dream's mercy? and not out of their victory? he loses both discs AND significant leverage against himself due to various conflicts that involved people stealing from him and/or blackmailing him when he literally wasn't doing anything. l'manburg's ranks have swelled and the story established by it and its independence has long since drowned out any other perspective on the war.

then, in manberg/pogtopia, c!dream enters into the conflict from the perspective of wanting c!schlatt out of power. later on, remaining loyal to c!wilbur, he helps him to successfully pull off the plot to blow up L'manburg and also manages to obtain the revive book through a brief alliance with c!Schlatt. once again, his goals were successfully pulled off in no small part due to his strategizing.

and yet, in the long run, what does c!dream really gain? the revive book is something he evidently didn't know about until the trade with c!Schlatt, and the knowledge of it fucking destroys him. with both c!Schlatt and c!Wilbur dead, he immediately ends up as enemy number one, something c!Wilbur himself states later on. c!Dream, who had never really had any particularly stable alliances pre-manberg anyway, comes out the other side of November 16th even more alone than he had been before, publicly distrusted (not that he was ever really trusted, even by Pogtopia before he officially starts working against them because of the revive book, something that the content creator himself has stated was created purely to explain why c!Dream would switch sides.) the destruction of L'manburg is merely temporary. the plan to blow up L'manburg was c!wilbur's in creation, and considering how open c!Dream is about disliking c!Schlatt, I really hesitate to think that he was going out of his way to ally with guy unless he himself intentionally revealed the revive book to this end (like. c!schlatt is a smart guy, bro.)

c!dream is "secretive" about just about nothing at this time, besides I guess his actually helping Pogtopia (if you can call this guy telling the fucking Manberg cabinet that it's L'manburg, not Manberg, being secretive el em ay oh)--he's open about helping c!Wilbur with the TNT (and c!Wilbur you know, makes a point of doing it in front of an audience both times he asks c!Dream for TNT as well) in Vassal and then on November 6th, and that exact stream is also where he literally walks in the middle of Pogtopia to say hey guys. I'm Betraying You Now. like ???

everything he gains at this time culminates to 1) he helps c!Wilbur successfully pull off a plan that c!Wilbur himself came up with and wanted to pull off and does, to some degree, pressure c!Dream into agreeing with him about--even if c!Dream was going to give him the TNT no matter what, he does display a measure of resistance during Vassal Speech (whether or not you believe this resistance was genuine) and c!Wilbur responds to that by kinda threatening him. So. and 2) he gets the revive book by acting in service to a guy that was clearly established as someone he disliked and feared, and that book is also something that we KNOW scared the shit out of him and like ended up prompting a paranoid spiral that ends with him creating a whole goddamn prison to put himself inside. soooooooo. you know. and all of this is happening at the same time that his losses end up turning into "by the time november 16th rolls around and is over and done with most people either want him dead or are very very close to wanting him dead, cheers!"

then obviously, there's everything from november 16th to the staged disc finale. again, we see c!Dream pulling strategic plays left and right and achieving the goals he has--at this point, often through, uh, less than savory means. through political bullshit with NLM and well, exile, he manages to get the disc during green festival; through helping c!Techno against the butcher army, he manages to obtain a favor; through stuff involving the enderwalk and some kinda deal that im p sure has remained unspecified, he manages to get Cat from c!Skeppy; through experiments with c!Punz, he gets information on the revive book; through green festival, obtaining both discs (and therefore no longer needing to act in terms of political interests with NLM), and establishing common ground with c!Techno, he's able to destroy L'manburg through Doomsday; through having the discs + everyone hating his guts because of Green Festival, Doomsday, and to be fair everyone literally just hating his guts from the outset, he is able to ensure the security of c!Punz, the revive book, and himself by locking himself in prison. A lot of different moving parts, a lot of different goals, a lot of running around the server to get what he needs to get done done at the right times in the right ways, and he manages to con the server and put himself exactly where he wanted to be.

and yet?? and yet??? sure, he pulls off what he wants to pull off, sure he achieves his goals, but in terms of actually winning? he's paranoid and the paranoia just keeps getting worse. the threats to his life and the amount of enemies that want him dead just keep growing in numbers. he finally gets lmanburg blown up for good but you know there's going to be like 4 more factions on this server by the time he gets imprisoned. his friends ditch him and then try to kill him when he clumsily tries to communicate that he's trying to protect them because of the paranoia he has about everyone hating his guts, he explicitly identifies the reasons for people's hatred as having a lot to do with manberg/pogtopia arc where he ends up helping two dead men that aren't around for people to hate anymore, he pulls off staged finale and puts himself in a prison that ends up shattering himself.

like he achieves his goals--even if we're talking about the prison, even if we're talking about the time where things most thoroughly go awry for him because of c!sam's betrayal, you can't say that he didn't achieve what he intended. c!sam kept him alive, and would do anything to keep him alive--he might've been wrong about a lot, but he wasn't wrong about that. and yet. AND YET.

c!dream achieves his goals but where does he end up? miserable and afraid of literally damn near everything and losing his whole mind in the exact prison that he constructed to keep himself safe when in a paranoid spiral about a hostile world that suddenly made so much less sense than he was used to--alone.

like. wdym doesn't lose all he does is lose literally everything he ever had like 😭😭😭😭😭

[girlballs]

Why is posting "cishets don't interact" not prejudicial discrimination?

The Capacitance Electronic Disc (CED) is an analog video disc playback system developed by Radio Corporation of America (RCA), in which video and audio could be played back on a TV set using a special stylus and high-density groove system similar to phonograph records.

First conceived in 1964, the CED system was widely seen as a technological success which was able to increase the density of a long-playing record by two orders of magnitude.[2] Despite this achievement, the CED system fell victim to poor planning, various conflicts with RCA management, and several technical difficulties that slowed development and stalled production of the system for 17 years—until 1981, by which time it had already been made obsolete by laser videodisc (DiscoVision, later called LaserVision and LaserDisc) as well as Betamax and VHS video cassette formats. Sales for the system were nowhere near projected estimates. In the spring of 1984, RCA announced it was discontinuing player production, but continued the production of videodiscs until 1986, losing an estimated $650 million in the process. RCA had initially intended to release the SKT425 CED player with their high end Dimensia system in late 1984, but cancelled CED player production prior to the Dimensia system's release.[3]

The format was commonly known as "videodisc", leading to much confusion with the contemporaneous LaserDisc format. LaserDiscs are read optically with a laser beam, whereas CED discs are read physically with a stylus (similar to a conventional phonograph record). The two systems are mutually incompatible.

RCA used the brand name "SelectaVision" for the CED system, a name also used for some early RCA brand VCRs,[4] and other experimental projects at RCA.[5][6] The Video High Density system is similar to that of CED.

[wyrddogs]

Going to bitch about Functional Breeding again.

I re-joined so I could participate in thoughtful discussions about IVDD, how to manage it in a breeding program, how to eradicate it in a breed.

People who had never heard the words "intervertebral disc disease" prior to Dr Bannasch's podcast two weeks ago are now total experts. We have calls to let breeds in which CDDY is set go extinct. Breeding dogs that have at least one copy of CDDY is totally unethical (because breeds with CDDY set should cease to exist). There is no such thing as carefully breeding it out; they just need to stop existing.

It is unethical to sell dogs with CDDY to sport homes. All dogs with CDDY are in pain. Yes, even if they show no signs of it and are choosing to be active into old age. Breed enthusiasts with conflicting experience are in denial/ignorant/unethical/don't care about their dogs/etc. Agility is the most hardcore and dangerous of dog sports, and anyone who even thinks about doing agility with a CDDY dog is an animal abuser. CDDY dogs that don't show signs of pain were simply bred to have too much drive to show pain (which is unethical).

I'd forgotten that this is the group that calls for the complete eradication of all brachy breeds, no exceptions. I'm also remembering that within the first six months of the group being created, someone had called for dwarf breeds to go extinct, so I guess that was foreshadowing.

[hakuna-machete]

So, with the live action avatar trailer out a lot of people are saying they’re really hoping it’s not just another gridmark remake, and that there is still the humor and whimsy that the cartoon had. And while I absolutely agree, we can’t forget that, even though Avatar the Last Airbender is a cartoon made for children it’s a pretty brutal show. And because it’s a cartoon, the characters’ ages are not really salient, but in a live action, we can see how obviously young all of the characters are. And that throughout the series these are all child soldiers actively fighting in a very brutal conflict.

I thought I had saved the post, but I couldn’t find it, and it was a post about how when Katara was fighting Pakku in the northern water tribe he was shocked when he had to doge ice discs that would’ve decapitated him when he thought they were just sparring.  And it was because Katara had never been in a fight that wasn’t a fight to the death. Even if the Gaang managed to escape before it got to that point, they were all fighting just to stay alive every time. Sokka, who is 16, matter-of-factly tells Aang, who is 12, that he has to kill another person for the good of the world because the inescapable fate of fighting and killing in a war is the reality that Sokka has lived in his entire life. 

There is so much fun and humor in the show, and it would be a serious loss and disservice if that was taken out. It’s a show with central themes of hope and resistance and redemption and family and love and acceptance. But it’s also about war and imperialism and genocide and our main hero is 12 years old and now in the live action remake really looks 12 years old. Even if they just did a one to one exactly as it was in the cartoon remake just because we can now see that these are 12-year-olds and 14 year olds and 16-year-olds waging war and fighting these battles and going through all of the things that these characters went through in the animated series, it would still make it seem darker.

Just my thoughts, I am looking forward to it, regardless of what happens. Yip yip!

[forthedancingandthethriving]

Had an idea for what happened to Disc after his fight with Vitality (feel free to ignore if you've already got plans for him), though for context I need to talk about what Leto and her minions have been up to.

See, in order for Stockman to actually be useful he needs a lab to do his mad scientist stuff, preferably somewhere the group can lay low, so they looked around and found an abandoned server styled as a laboratory that may or may not have been one of Worm's old hideouts, not that any of them have any idea about that of course. They've also managed to cobble together a technically functional body for him that mostly just consists of a big jar and some spindly metal limbs. Crude, but it'll work well enough for now.

Disc comes into the picture when a burning, mangled, vaguely humanoid mass of code stumbles through a portal into one of the server's common areas. Initially they see it as a security threat, but when he utterly fails to do anything but sit there and look like an on-fire corpse they calm down, and Leto notices the unusual mix of different codes and the fact that his soul is barely clinging to it (dude finally got his wish and Cheated Death, unfortunately for him), decides he's Interesting, and asks Stockman to see if he can make anything out of the mess.

And so Disc slowly comes to on a hard metal table in a strange room, still in pain but in a very...different way from before he passed out, "Wh...where?" his voice sounds foreign to him, though he can't put his finger on why.

"Ah, so there is still a mind in there. My condolences."

As you might expect, Disc is pretty damn shocked and confused about waking up in what looks like some kind of nightmare hospital staffed by a disembodied brain, and Stockman's explanation alleviates some of the confusion but not really any of the shock, especially when he finds out what Stockman had to do to him to make the death-cheating actually stick. Basically, he had to stitch together whatever was left of his original code and his Damien disguise's code into a functional vessel, somehow using the code of Vitality's firefox flames to thread the conflicting codes together and fill in the many, many gaps. The result is a hulking werecoyote/zombie/lava monster thing with Disc's mind and a terrible hollow feeling where his source code used to be.

"Not a pretty sight, I'm afraid."

Disc-or whoever he is now-simply shrugs, "Hey, anything's better than dying."

Stockman lets out a cross between a huff and a chuckle, "Oh, to still be so naive."

Disc eyes the brain in confusion.

"Take it from someone with experience; getting ripped from the jaws of death may seem like a blessing the first few times, but after a dozen or so the pieces left behind start to wear on you." he stares forlornly at lone of his jar's claws where a human hand should be, though it's a bit hard to tell given the single lidless eyeball.

Disc isn't sure how to take that, and so just looks over himself some more, doing his best to get used to his new body, "what am I supposed to be, anyway?"

"Well, where I'm from you'd likely be considered a mutant, though it somewhat depends on the continuity."

"Wait, you're that Stockman? Aren't you supposed to be a fly?"

"Again, depends on the continuity. I personally am one hundred percent human...well, genetically at least."

"Huh."

"...You know, there's... well, I'm not sure if it qualifies as a tradition or just a pattern, but mutated sapients in my franchise often take up pseudonyms when they turn. Not as much a thing in my version since our mutegen worked differently, but still. I've got some ideas if you're interested."

"...Sure, why not. It'll probably keep the Admins off my back at least."

----

And so Leto and Lumi are introduced to the newest member of their little team; Rahzar.

(yes I know TMNT '03 technically had a Rahzar in Turtles Forever but he only showed up in like two scenes as a random Foot Mook and I can't remember if he was even namedropped.)

(and yes, Disc is still too much of his usual dumbass self to realize that being bound to an unrecognizable lifeless shell of himself and owing his survival to a madman and the worst Program on the 'net is probably going to be a fate worse than death. Even when warned by said madman who's been dealing with nearly that exact fate for most of the show he's from.)

Yoo!! Love this. I really didn't have a good idea what I was going to do for him, so this is great!

[disc-behavioral]

Workplace Conflict Resolution 

Workplace Conflict Resolution is a strategic approach to managing and resolving disputes among employees in an organization. It involves skilled intervention, communication, and negotiation techniques to address conflicts promptly and constructively. The primary goal is to promote a harmonious and productive work environment by finding fair and mutually agreeable solutions. This process not only resolves immediate issues but also enhances team dynamics, reduces stress, and improves overall morale, ultimately benefiting both employees and the organization as a whole.

[ifiamhumaniamperfect]

the rest of ifiamhumaniamperfect

i never really had a solid outline for this au, since its an interactive askblog the best way to 'plan' was to keep it flexible and react to the audience. that being said, i had a few notes of the 'main events' that would happen no matter what. i've put those under the read more:

-cesar's introduction: i was going to wait until someone tried to reach out to cesar (which did happen, i just never got the motivation to answer that ask) and show his reaction. unlike the first cesar, this one is NOT afraid of ghosts. in fact, he is VERY interested in the paranormal, and almost immediately calls mark about it. (another thing different about cesar i forgot to mention is that this version of him doesn't wear suits or dress shirts regularly, usually he just wears flannels or button-ups)

-while this is happening, altsar decides to look in a mirror (prompted by another ask i got) to check his appearance. and he notices that his form has gained more stability. it isn't PERFECT or anything, but its waaay better than what it was before. aside from a few inhuman details (usually on the right side of his face), he looks A LOT like cesar. eventually he would realise this is because he has stopped forcing his face to change form.

-as per someone's suggestion, he decides to try to perfect his voice. he figures out how to turn on ms.torres' radio and starts 'singing' along with it (he is not very good at it). he often gets a bit caught up in it, and doesn't even realize that ms.torres has gotten home until he hears her. he immediately hides, but he forgets to turn off the radio. ms.torres didn't see him, but she could have sworn she heard… something.

-(speaking of ms.torres!! her name is maría and i have an entire thing of notes on her and her backstory. which i will post later.)

-one time, altsar is so focused on his voice, because hes finally gotten it right, that he doesn't notice ms.torres has walked in the room. all of the 'imperfections' on his face are on the side facing away from her (his right), so she thinks he is cesar. shes confused, because cesar hardly ever listens to her albums, he has no reason to be wearing a suit of all things, and hes acting so /strange/. altsar manages to fumble his way through a conversation, and keep the left side of his face towards her as he darts into another room. ms.torres is absolutely bewildered by this, especially when cesar walks through the front door 20 minutes later. after this she begins to piece together that maybe the radio being left on wasn't just her being forgetful after all…

-quick sidenote: this was meant to be a video and i have a wip of altsar 'singing' to "i'll never smile again". its not very good because i am not very musically talented and i had to transcribe piano chords into individual notes. and also its unfinished. but i could still post it later if anyones interested in that.

-anyways, ms.torres is conflicted. while the idea of… /something/ being in her house very much unnerves her, and shes /terrified/ of something happening to cesar… she just can't help but think whatever (or whoever) it is seems… lonely. but very, very shy. so she pretends she hasn't noticed anything. until one night when the radio is playing an album she knows she didn't put on, and she asks the empty air if it likes frank sinatra, since thats usually what disc she finds in the radio. and while she gets no response, she brings home a new album of frank sinatra anyways. and when she finds the cd case open and the new disc in the radio later, she takes it as a success.

-due to this altsar gets a bit… bolder. he managed to fool ms.torres once (he does not know that he did not fool her. at all.), why not try it again? so he lets her see him again and just starts talking. and ms.torres knows that isn't cesar, and she isn't quite sure what it is. a part of her screams that the... thing... in front of her is dangerous. but another part of her knows that if push came to shove? this is not a fight she could win. a different part of her knows that whatever this is… probably doesn't want a fight, seeing how skittish it is. and beyond all of that, she also cant stand seeing something with her son's face looking so lost and so scared. so she humours it. shes on guard the whole time, but after seeing it-him relax and stop hunching his shoulders and stop looking like a corpse, she realizes she really doesn't have to be afraid of him.

-this is around the time that altsar realizes he likes hanging out with ms.torres, he likes spending time with a human. and he starts to freak out about it because he can't do that. he KNOWS he's going to have to end up killing cesar eventually, and that ms.torres will never forgive him for that. but… does he really want to? 'gabriel' never said He would kill altsar if he failed, just leave him behind. but does he really want to kill cesar and shuffle on to the next timeline to kill another cesar and repeat that over and over again? he doesn't. but he also doesn't want to get attached. he knows he can't keep either of them safe forever, its only a matter of time before another alternate decides to kill one of them (his sibling already made that choice for him last time, after all). he can't let himself get attached to a person he knows is doomed, he couldn't handle losing them. but… the anons knew he was doomed, and they didn't leave him. they knew it would hurt, but they still stayed with him. maybe… he can try. he promised he would try, after all, maybe he just needs to change what it is he is trying to do.

-while all of this is happening, cesar is pouring through every book on ghosts, spirits, and demons he can get his hands on. he is THRILLED that his house is haunted, and he is trying to get his best friend to help him catch a ghost. which is hard because although mark likes ghosts in theory, in practice he isn't going to touch a oujia board with a ten foot pole. except cesar already bought one, and is inviting mark over to his house. great. cesar is BEGGING him to help him set everything up and make sure nothing goes wrong, because although cesar is very enthusiastic about ghosts, he also very much believes in all of the risks, and is VERY cautious. and although cesar has gone on about how important it is that he has mark helping him, mark knows it's only a matter of time before cesar attempts to use the oujia board on his shoulders hunch and a constant anxiety to engulf him whenever he stares at a shadow too long. what is it?

-this is where my notes start to get vague. from there, mark and cesar start messing with a bunch of diy ghost equipment that cesar got together. altsar was kind of watching the whole time because, hey, there's that mark guy thats been mentioned before. he sticks around to learn more about mark but also because there's something… familiar about him. no, not him, something outside of him, that makes his eyes dart around and his shoulders hunch and a constant anxiety to engulf him whenever he stares at a shadow too long. what is it?

-eventually, cesar pulls out the oujia board. and altsar feels… drawn to it. it's dark enough in the room that if he's careful, they shouldn't be able to see him if he moves the planchette… so he starts answering some questions. he's had plenty of experience with that, after all. (during all of this, anons would ALSO be able to answer questions one word at a time via poll.) and at the end, cesar asks altsar to reveal himself (mark thinks this is a horrible idea). and altsar does.

-everything kind of goes to shit. neither mark nor cesar know about alternates at this point, but seeing a weird shadow monster version of yourself manifest out of thin air is. pretty unnerving. altsar does not really stick around, he only revealed himself because he felt drawn to do what they asked(in this world ghosts are drawn towards attempts at communication, and he is technically somewhat of a ghost). and now hes freaking out over revelaing himself. the one thing he WASN'T supposed to do. nobody is having a great time.

-from here the notes get. very very sparse. eventually they calm down and form a truce with altsar once they notice he isn't trying to hurt anyone. cesar is trying to keep his shadow clone a secret from his mom (who. already knows lol)

-and mark is… spending a lot more time at cesar's house. almost like he's trying to avoid going back to his own. and eventually altsar realizes whats familiar about mark: the alternate that killed cesar last time (his 'sibling') is haunting mark's house. that. is a problem.

-altsar FREAKS out, telling them about the other alternate and possibly telling them how he was. originally meant to kill cesar but changed his mind. which is a fun conversation. this ends in altsar FINALLY going outside. and going to mark's house to confront his 'sibling'. a confrontation he actually WINS this time! turns out he's pretty decent at fighting when his body isn't falling apart at the seams.

-eventually ms.torres 'finds out' about altsar (he probably just tells her and shes like "oh i know^^" and hes absolutely shellshocked. how could she see through his well-crafted and clever disguise????) and is finally let in on the loop. altsar explains the whole thing with 'gabriel' and she basically just goes "well what if you severed the connection you have with him?? would that work??" and altsar. is kind of mad at himself for not thinking of that sooner. because he CAN disconnect himself from communication with the anons. which is DEVASTATING. he doesn't want to say goodbye. but he has to.

-however, altsar realizes that severing that connection would ALSO cut off communication with the anons. which is DEVASTATING. he doesn't want to say goodbye. but he has to.

-and that's how the ask blog was meant to end originally. altsar says his goodbyes, and severs the connection to live a new life with the family he found. from then on everyone would be able to watch, but he wouldn't be able to hear anything said to him. it would be a bit of an 'epilogue' ig.

and that's it! feel free to ask questions about anything, i'm going to post some of the things i had sketched out later :)

[bossbutch]

indie video game i liked and have thoughts on cool wow

friend of mine was streaming Cartomancer Anthology the other day, (a grab bag of indie games a la haunted demo discs and such, themed after the major arcana) and one of the games included really clicked w me. in a way i wanted to talk about

it's the game themed after the high priestess card. the tldr plot is you're The Seer and you have to help people think through their problems. you do this with the main gameplay, a puzzler sorta like lights out, where you rotate and then place a shape, all the tiles in that area flip states, and your goal is to make enough of them black.

i think splatoon 3 (released after cartomancer) has a pvp game kinda like this? it's not difficult to understand, and the puzzles are pretty comfortably "not brain melty but not trivial" which is a nice place to be. what really struck me was how well it fits the story. each character you help has puzzles that fit them and their trouble. the first I noticed was a novice alchemist, who is frustrated over how much they still have to learn- their puzzles are all broken versions of the shapes on your cards, slightly too small for them to fit properly. the librarian who is worried about time management and organization has mini-puzzles in cramped spaces. etc

the character Problems are all low-stakes my little pony style things like that- one character wants to pick a different career than their mom wants them to, one is worried about whether their job will have made a difference after they die, one is passive and conflict-averse. I'm not necessarily a fan of like, fiction-as-therapy (this is not charitable at all lol i cant think of the proper term) but it fits the fairy tale aesthetics of the whole thing, and its not offensive or anything, the underlying philosophy is fine, its just a bit twee. and sometimes you're in the mood for something twee! or at least i am. a specific philosophy thing i really liked isn't said directly, but almost none of the puzzles have a "perfect" solution that will turn all the tiles black, and sometimes progress requires getting "farther away" from your goal. woah hmmmm how do those relate to what the characters are doing. i like it a lot okay. the actual puzzle gameplay couldve been anything at all- hidden objects, or match 3, or nonograms, etc- and a worse game would have it be arbitrary, but it's not. ..you see the connection you see why it's cool and why it works

the aesthetics and style- also good. between puzzles there's an overworld that does that delightful 2d-characters 3d-environment thing seen in like "paradise killer" and "smile for me" (and "sewer rave", which shares a developer!). and that's always great, the character designs are all great, it's lovely. they have multiple expressions and do the squash-stretches, and they all have unique nameplates with little designs (which i dont have a screenshot of, gah). theres just a lot of care put in. its nice.

i was struck ok? i fell in love. it happens. shoutout to weird little indie games. shoutout to @slitherpunk

[bracketsoffear]

Lord Havelock Vetinari (Discworld) "Lord Vetinari is the patrician of the largest city on the Disc, Ankh Morpork which he, quoting another character "plays like a fiddle". He came into the role and totally changed how the city works, pulling apart some old structures and repurposing others for himself. He is aware of virtually everything happening in his city and uses them to his advantage. He is never straightforward with people, constantly manipulating people so that they best serve Ankh Morpork. He is always in control, even when locked up in his own dungeons he controls the lock to the door, even when ousted from his position for a military commander to take emergency power his plans hold steady and he managed to avert the war through trickery. He is a puppetmaster who will hand the puppet their strings because he knows they'll do what he wants them to do anyway."

Director Lee Harvey Oswald (The Department of Truth) "In The Department of Truth, the protagonist’s boss (and the director of the titular department) is a much older Lee Harvey Oswald, though it’s not explicitly known which version of him he is. As in, what story of the assassination is true? Is he the CIA stooge? The innocent patsy? The lone gunman? Our protagonist muses this question in the second issue and can only conclude: “He’s probably not the one killed by Jack Ruby.” And looking at the picture the comic paints of who he is now, he seems much more the type to spend his time in Howard Hunt’s circles than Kerry Thornley’s, if you know what I mean. He has become the image of the perfect Cold War-era fed with his browline glasses, dark suit, quips about a new generation gone soft, and an ever-present cigarette. And that’s because he always has been that. He joined the Department as an agent when he was 19, working to counter the Soviets and gain information on their country’s equivalent of the D.o.T. And we, the reader, do not know what happened on November day in Dallas, but neither does he, it seems. Kennedy stood against the Department and it was his job to take him out, but in that book depository, he saw the Scarlet Woman (see the Extinction poll) holding a sniper rifle, ready to tear apart the country’s sense of truth with a bullet. (Well, three.) But as the story of the assassination spread, so did the idea of Lee Harvey Oswald, the concept of the shadowy assassin that was seen on the front pages, the conflicting theories and paranoias made manifest. To quote Hawk Harrison (another character), “the living embodiment of every horrible thing people think the government is capable of, filled up into a man-shaped thing.” No matter how human he may or may not be, he might as well be American paranoia personified in function. He’s a man desperate to do whatever it takes to uphold the ideal of what America is supposed to be, that Shining City on a Hill; a man fighting in a war of propaganda and information and disinformation, a war of stories and ideas. To quote Indrid Cold, he’s simply a “dream this country is having.” 

History is, of course, written by the victors, and facts can be rewritten by them as well. After Lee’s “death”, the previous Director (Frank Capra) put him in the Department’s archives to try and figure out who the Scarlet Woman was, only for him to use the research to find a new way of doing things, a way to shift reality through manipulating what people believe to be true on a large scale through media, and symbolic imagery, and simple lies that serve to reinforce what the public wants to believe about this country, and for that, Richard Nixon appointed him to the job we know him in, Director of the D.o.T. Director Capra was a naïve idealist who truly believed that the American Dream was not only real but could be achieved through hard work. Lee knows that the American Dream is a lie, but my god, he will do what it takes to make it real, no matter how underhanded the tactics. If you can control the narrative, you can control the Truth. 

For most of his tenure, it was the height of the Cold War, there was a distinct enemy to push against. It was a conflict of countries, of ideologies, of two superpowers trying to keep their way of life at the expense of the other, and it was the U.S. that won out. There is another version of the 20th century, the one that was once real, where the founding ideals of the USSR were much closer to being realized within its border, it was something better than what it became, but the U.S. won the propaganda war and what was once simply a fact had become a hazy fiction that never happened. And so the victor rewrites history. 

And how does one become the victor? Through whatever means necessary, from fabricating events that later became real, to assassinations, to media manipulation, to the creation of the Satanic Panic itself, playing off paranoia and Christian nationalism to strengthen the idea that America is something that exists, that the American Dream is worth fighting for. (And of course, in the case of the latter, to deflect media attention from the whole Iran-Contra Deal.)

Finally, I leave you with this monologue: “I know you don’t trust me. I don’t care. I’ve done enough bad shit, and spent the last sixty years of my life lying through my teeth every goddamn day. I don’t need you to trust me. But I need to trust you to know that the ends justify the means. You’re sour over your star-faced man. Hawk told you that he stoked the fire there, tried to make it seem realer than it was. That we had a vested interest in people believing that Satan was lurking behind every corner. I was younger then. I was stepping boldly. I was trying to defend the dream of what America was supposed to be. Not let those Russian fucks dictate our future. I’ve done many things that haunt me, more than you can imagine.”

This description has been abridged. Click link for Director Oswald's full description.

[kiwi-smug-silvalina]

Okay, hopefully an ask should work lmao

This contains three sections: a short-ish summary of kantje's pov of Showtime, four short examples you can watch to get quickly the vibe, and a little write-up of facts about Onion. Appologies for any writing mistakes. Note that the plot summary is only focused on the his main storyline, and it leaves out/glosses over some interesting sideplots.

Feel free to ask questions, or request more info/moments to watch :D

Plot of kantje's story

After arriving to the server, kantje’s (he/him, name always lowercase) main goal was getting his kidnapped daughter named Onion (she/her) back. At the same time, he made sure to help out everyone around him, be kind, and make the server a better place. He was always willing to talk to his friends about their joys and problems, and he was proactive in solving server-wide conflicts through diplomatic, non-violent means (eg. he held a petition for a dictator to step down, he ran for mayor, etc.). 

He was beloved for his outgoingness, friendliness and helpfulness, though he was also known for his great business skills (at times going into slightly scammy territory), and his tendency to self promote. He was composed and good with words, which is not to say he wasn’t an emotional person: over the course of the story there were many times where he yelled and/or cried.

His first step in his goal was trying to figure out *who* kidnapped Onion. All he knew was that it was someone who wears purple, since he heard Onion yell out a rough description of the person. He decided he needs to create a big distraction, so he built a casino with his friend Effy (any pronouns). While the whole server gathered for the casino’s grand opening, he had Effy search the house of every person who wears purple. Effy founds nothing.

This left him with only one purple-wearing culprit: God of the server, ZolisterTV (note: this is a different character than Zolister [without TV], who’s a human. Both use any pronouns). kantje summoned ZolisterTV, who told him that the reason He took his daughter was to entertain The Audience. He considers kantje His favourite "play-thing", a main character for the server's story. kantje didn’t understand what He meant by that, but over time he figured it out.

One day, Effy managed to get an interdimensional portal to work. kantje traveled through it, and after going on a grueling adventure, he acquired two magical items: 1) unremovable armour, which when worn causes you to pursue your primary goal no matter the cost, throwing away your morality, 2) a disc that can grant you any wish from the god that you are a patron of, provided that certain conditions are met. kantje’s patron god is ZolisterTV.

During his trip he also met The Pariah (it/its), guardian of the dimensions, who told him exactly what ZolisterTV wants kantje to do in order for Him to give Onion back: he needs to put on a great show for The Audience by creating a Catastrophy, then a Tragedy, then a Betrayal, and lastly he needs to activate the disc by taking one life of someone who’s a patron of ZolisterTV (note: most characters have five lives). kantje is reluctant to go through with this, since it would involve hurting people.

However, Mugm's (he/him) and Silvasaur’s (he/they, I think) dad Cupid (he/star/spark) got killed, and the two brothers took the disc from kantje hoping to revive Cupid. kantje’s friend Effy was involved, and kantje was crushed by this, desparate enough to put on the magic armour. Gone is the kindness he used to be known for, his morals out of the window. The fact that he's ZolisterTV's favourite gets to his head, and he embraces his role as the "main character".

What follows was him orchestrating the Catastophy, Tragedy and Betrayal. I can go in detail about what happens if you’d like, the events were very interesting and iconic, but essentially it involved killing, manipulating, holding people hostage, erasing people’s memories, and emotional torment. 

Through careful planing, the good reputation he built up remained untouched until almost the very end, when he nearly completed the mission. However, Rin (she/they) and Effy, his friends who were horrified by what became of him, revealed all of his actions to the server. Te people decided to inprison him. While he was in prison, Winsweep (he/him) took revenge on him by erasing *all* of his memories. As he slowly regained his memories back, his friends figured out how to remove the magic armour.

Finally it was time to use the disc. There were two choices: bring back Onion, or bring back Cupid. kantje, who had his kindness back after the armour was removed, chose to bring back Cupid. He thought Mugm and Silvasaur deserved to have their dad back after all that kantje put them through, and that he’ll find another way to get Onion back. Cupid reunited with star’s sons, but since star is the self-sacrifical type, star stated that star wishes for Onion to be back instead.

kantje finally had Onion back, and the reunion was joyous. However, kantje was crushed by the guilt of what he did to everyone, and decided that he needs time to reflect, and that the people deserve a chance to heal without him present. Knowing that Onion is safe and in the good hands of his friends, decided to leave for a little while. He gave as many people as possible proper goodbyes and apologies, and then traveled to another dimension. 

This is where we have currently left off in kantje’s story, though we can see Onion through Vi’s (he/neos) pov, as he works hard along with kantje’s other friends to keep her safe from the various malicious actors on the server, like Winsweep.

Short but impactful moments

kantje and Onion’s backstory (2:11 long clip) 

kantje snaps at God, and begs her to bring Onion back (43:38-45:38) 

kantje under the influence of the armour (1:24:00-1:26:18) 

kantje is reunited with Onion (2:03:55-2:09:45)

Some facts about Onion

As of right now, she is six-years-old. At the start she was five.

She’s quite shaken by the fact that she was kidnapped, but she’s still a playfull kid.

She gave kantje his scarf, and her favourite disc is Otherside, so these two things are very important to kantje.

She communicates by making the allay noise, which transmits words into the minds of the people she’s talking to. She speaks Dutch (kantje is from the Netherlands), and she’s learning English.

She doesn’t quite understand gender properly. (She also might be genderfluid, but don’t quote me on that, I might be misremembering.)

She’s adopted, and she isn’t the first child kantje adopted. His first child, Niko, is now an adult, and he turned out to be a horrible person (/rp). He is only briefly relevant to Showtime SMP.

Posting this so others can use it as well, im still very thankfull for this nice summary when i was making the web weave