#Definitely accurate
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thecurioustale · 11 months ago
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The Complete History of Computational Physics
1950s Scientists:
"Gentlemen! In our quest to conquer God we want to simulate the atom! But to do it we'd need a computer capable of per-forming in excess of six calculations per second!"
"Impossible! The heat out-put alone would melt the Earth."
"What if we bombarded the computer laboratory with a steady plume of some thermally super-conductive yet safe gas, like a brominated asbestos aerosol?"
"How would we de-liver it to the machinery?"
"We could use super-magnets, nay, hyper-magnets of pure plutonium arsenide, activated by exposed 500 mega-volt leads right next to the intern's desk."
"Extraordinary, Bob! But where would get an intern?"
"You there, shoe shine boy! How would you like to earn 5 cents a year???"
"Golly gee, sir, would I ever!"
"Dick, put in another government grant re-quest for an additional 100 tons of plutonium. Dave, get down to the soda fountain and pick up a couple bricks of arsenic and one of those ice-cream novelties I like."
"Already on it!"
2010s Scientists:
"All right people, our grants are up next year and we need something to show for it."
"What don't we try to simulate an atom?"
"Didn't this laboratory already try something like that in the '50s?"
"Yeah, our predecessors spent a couple decades on it, but they failed. All they managed to do was create a Superfund site and build some kind of anti-gravity superweapon that nobody knows how to operate anymore."
"But! They didn't have the necessary processing power. We have supercomputers now! So let's get to simulating."
"Actually, we probably still don't have enough computing power for it."
"What?!"
"Yeah, um, atoms are tricky, especially the big ones past atomic number, oh, 2 or so."
"Well, can we maybe write a paper about how they're tricky?"
"I bet we could! We could even get our remote German postgraduate intern with the weird hair to make a really nice animation for the PowerPoint presentation."
"Brilliant!"
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asteroidaffection · 4 months ago
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curvy curly
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pyjamacryptid · 4 months ago
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‘cause every colour goes where you do
please click to sharpen the image! :)
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windybluebelles · 1 month ago
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Captain Marvel gets cursed to live by fae rules for a short amount of time, no biggy- he already lives by most of them either due to his own magical freakiness or just cuz he lives in Fawcett and would really rather not risk it.
It’s all going great till, Oh No! Superman decides to reveal his full legal name to his close friend and colleague. Shazam now owns Superman’s name, shit gang
Now, the person who cursed him wasn’t very good at cursing people, so Billy only really has to follow approximately- let’s say like 1/3 of every fae rule.
So when Clark Joseph Kent gives him his full name, he only has the right to take one out of three name. Clark isn’t overly happy about the whole situation, he quite likes his name, means alot to him, so Billy is like-
“Chill, chill, it’s fine”
Then they switch middle names.
This is all just a big post to talk about the fact that William Joseph Batson and Clark Joseph Kent have the same middle name and I find that really funny for no good reason
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faiell · 10 months ago
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inspired by a scene from 9 1/2 days by @magpiefngrl
‘Harry?’ Urgent, clipped vowels, insistent at his ear. A cool hand shook Harry's shoulder, hot breath played on his cheek, and the smell of lavender tickled his nose. Without thinking, Harry raised his head and pressed his face at the source of the lavender smell, inhaling deeply. Dawn’s fabric softener brought him slowly back to himself. He opened his eyes to see he had his nose buried in Draco’s shoulder.
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aphel1on · 9 months ago
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AURGH auwarghh the autistic parental trauma... the epi was wacky hijinks then dropped this on us out of nowhere... (sobs) laios... laiiiiooooos
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ph-cutie · 28 days ago
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sample size
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sunnibits · 2 months ago
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noel babygirl please come home the kids miss you
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chicachomp · 6 months ago
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more of these weird things
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starry-bi-sky · 6 months ago
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jason and danny childhood friends au memes (mild spoilers)
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lizaisdrawing · 8 months ago
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Hey guys, just wanted to take the time to introduce Wallace’s grandparents! They pretty much raised him.
Meet Carmen and Luis Darling !
They were very supportive of Wallace’s creative imagination :) the grandma more so.
Oh and that’s Beatrix.
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ofbatsandballads · 18 days ago
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pretty little birds
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jason todd x fem!reader
word count: 2.2k
warnings: suggestive content, reader works at the Iceberg Lounge as a server/dancer/informant for Oz, slight objectification from Oz, reader described as having long hair but no other physical descriptions, slight implication of potential SA (nothing happens, just concern over it)
a/n: been thinking of Jason with a girl who works at the Iceberg Lounge ever since I watched The Batman and saw Selina’s gorgeous self working there. something about her and Bruce’s dynamic was very alluring and I realized how much better it would work with Jason so this was born. might make this a series, might not; who knows? not me! also if you want a nice visual aid for the club, I fully based it off the Gotham Knights version of the lounge.
divider credit: strangergraphics
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Jason wasn’t a fan of the Iceberg Lounge. He’d been there plenty of times for missions, for reconnaissance, to beat the shit out of Oswald—it didn’t mean he liked it there. The club was ostentatious, loud and vulgar like everything that went on within it. He always scoffed when he saw it during patrol. An actual iceberg exterior; how corny could Cobblepot get?
He did have to admit that it was nicer inside. The marble floors, balconies, and columns lended an elegance to the place that it didn’t deserve. The neon blues and pinks of the lighting served to disorient, to intoxicate alongside the drinks that were served across the bar and the drugs that were passed behind it. The massive penguin ice sculpture in the center was tacky though. Jason could think of a million better design choices than that.
All this to say that he wasn’t thrilled to be sent to the club per Bruce’s orders of seeing if Oz was still as legit as he claimed. He wasn’t. They all knew it but B needed proof. Jason’s sure by proof Bruce meant that he wanted him to go undercover, but one of the advantages of being Red Hood is that he can go where the other Bats can’t. That distinction is how he finds himself stalking the club from his vantage point in the shadows.
It’s busy tonight. The main floor is crowded with people. Bodies push and pull to the rhythm of the music that blares from the speakers. As tightly crammed as the floor is, the servers still manage to weave through with a practiced grace. They’re all in various states of undress; short skirts, crop tops, some in straight up underwear. Jason recognizes the servers for what Cobblepot intends them to be: a distraction. They’re all young and beautiful—pretty girls and boys that are meant to draw your eye so you don’t see the money and the drugs that pass between their hands.
Jason zeroes in on the two working the floor for any indication of something illegal. Oswald’s been smarter since his last stint in Blackgate. He lets the filth of the city do their deals in his club while he himself is never caught up in it. The argument of “well I didn’t do it” usually wouldn’t hold up legally, but this is Gotham. His eyes track the man first. He’s weaving in and out, laughing with what must be the regulars. He’s charming them, plying them with more and more alcohol to stay longer, to spend more money. He’s not doing anything more than that, though, to Jason’s utmost disappointment. He turns his attention to the girl instead.
The difference between the two of you is so obvious it’s almost amusing. While the guy weaved fluidly through the throng of people like something unseen, the crowd itself seems to part for you. Recognition, some degree of respect, power—that’s what you’ve got over the drunken group of people. He immediately knows that his best bet will be with you. Everything about you echoes the pull you must have in the club. The way you walk, how you smile at the regulars, the drifting of your hands across shoulders and backs and jawlines. It’s even clear in the way you’re dressed. You look like something out of a cabaret show. Pink silk lingerie lined with black lace flowers, black fringe beads that form the idea of a skirt rather than an actual one, and those same beads hanging in alluring arcs across your arms, neck, and chest. You’re dressed up like Penguin’s favorite dream.
You’re also not doing anything illegal. Sure, he’s watched you take money from people, but all you bring back are drinks. He watches for over half an hour, eyes always trailing back to you. Nothing. It’s remarkable how much absolutely nothing he’s seen. His patience is wearing thin. It’s one in the morning and there are better things he could be doing, people he could be helping. But he can’t leave without something for Bruce. He tries to ignore the bile that rises in his throat when he thinks of why he still cares about disappointing him. His eyebrow twitches and he decides suddenly and definitively: fuck it.
So he kicks in Penguin’s office doors.
“Ah, Red Hood. If it ain’t Gotham’s least favorite vigilante,” Oswald mutters past the cigar in his mouth. “Shut the doors behind you, would ya?”
Jason kicks them shut. No one needs to see the bloody mess that Oswald’s going to be in about fifteen minutes.
“Ah ah ah. Before you get any ideas, I would advise you to consider how bad it would be for you to be caught assaulting a reformed citizen of this great city,” Oswald gloats, stubby finger pointing at the camera in the corner.
Fuck. Now Jason has to talk. He hates talking to Cobblepot. It gets you approximately nowhere fast.
“Reformed? We both know you’re full of shit, Oz,” Red Hood taunts.
“I’m on the straight and narrow. Scout’s honor,” Penguin laughs, coughing through the harsh inhale he took of his cigar.
Nowhere. Fast.
“You’re bringing in too much money for that to be true. Your parties aren’t that good, Cobblepot.”
“Eh, you haven’t seen my toys. Most of ‘em come for the pretty little things I keep around.”
“So you’re pimping them out? You see that I can work with,” Hood retorts.
It would make sense, Oz getting his servers into sex work. It’s not the worst thing he could do if they were all willing. And if they weren’t? Well, that gives Jason a nice excuse to finally put a bullet through The Penguin.
“You don’t listen too well, do you? I’m a changed man. People can look at my dolls, but they can’t touch. Everyone loves eye candy,” Oswald says.
The doors open just as Jason considers pulling a gun on Oswald, cameras recording him or not.
“And there’s my favorite. What do ya need, doll?”
Jason watches you saunter in. You move with an almost feline gracefulness. His eyes clock the sway of your hips and the way you toss your hair over your shoulder. Then he watches the way Cobblepot’s pupils dilate as his eyes lock on you. You plant your hands on the desk, bend over as you smile saccharine at the old man sitting behind it. Oh, you’re good. Very good.
“Nothing much. Just that DA wanting his usual,” you say.
Oswald’s eyes rake lecherously over your body. He looks at you like he wants to put you in one of the glass cases that decorate his office. It makes Jason’s stomach turn. Then he pulls a key out from a locked drawer and drops it into your open palm. Now that piques his interest.
“Thanks, Oz,” you say sweetly.
As you straighten up and spin around to leave, Penguin grabs your wrist and yanks you back. He leaves one kiss on the inside of your wrist and that pretty facade cracks. It’s only for a second, so quick that Oswald doesn’t see it. Jason does. Disgust. Pure disgust flashes across your face before it’s replaced by an alluring smile. Your eyes spark with something Jason can’t quite read.
“Mind if I get some too, Ozzie? You know how much I like it,” you ask as you play with the beads that dangle on your chest.
“Sure, doll. Take whatever you want,” Oswald acquiesces.
Your face lights up and you look almost victorious. Then you spin around and head towards the doors. To this point you haven’t acknowledged him, the known vigilante, at all. But just before you leave, you pause right next to him. Jason tries not to flinch as your hand runs up his arm.
“I hope you’ve enjoyed your night here. Next time, feel free to ask for anything you want. Wouldn’t want Oz’s guests to get bored,” you purr.
Your eyes lock with the white lenses of his domino mask and Jason feels the air leave his lungs. You’d seen him. You knew he was there the whole fucking time. And you hadn’t told anyone. If you had, Cobblepot would’ve sent security in guns blazing.
“Have a good night, honey,” you tell him as you waltz out the door.
“See, Hood? Eye candy,” Oz hacks.
Jason follows you. What else was he supposed to do? Oswald gave him nothing. But you? You gave him what felt suspiciously like a lead. Ask for anything you want, you’d said. What else could you think he wanted but proof of Oswald’s lingering corruption? So he follows you. He’s careful this time. Quiet, precise steps that give no indication he’s near. It’s times like these he’s grateful for all the stealth training Bruce made him do as a kid.
He trails behind as you head downstairs. You weave through the maze of corridors until you come to a mahogany door, elaborately carved with floral emblems. It’s got an old brass lock on it that you slot the key into. Jason waits one beat, two, three—then goes through the door where you disappeared.
He finds you inside, crouching in front of an open safe. A rainbow of jewels glitter within. Diamonds, rubies, emeralds—there had to be enough jewelry in there to cover the cost of a couple of Bruce’s tricked out sports cars. You pull a more modest sapphire necklace from the safe and place it into one of the grab bags that guests can take home at the end of the night. So that’s what the DA wanted. You grab a far more ostentatious diamond bracelet and slip it into your bra.
“Think it’s a good idea to steal from your boss?”
You jump. Jason doesn’t want to admit how satisfied he is by that. He was a little worried that he’d lost his touch. You twirl around, eyes locked on the vigilante leaning against the closed door.
“Hmm…when I’ve got him wrapped around my finger? Why not?” you smirk.
You’re brave. He’ll give you that.
“Must really be putting on a show for him if you’re not worried,” he presses.
Your smile drops and your eye twitches in annoyance. He’s hit a nerve. Good.
“A show. That’s all it is. If he’s stupid enough to think it’ll be more than that, that’s his problem,” you bite, tone dripping venom instead of honey.
“Not scared he’ll realize the trick? Or what he’ll do when he does?” Red Hood asks as he fiddles with a knife he keeps in his belt.
He asks with sincerity. It’s a dangerous game you’re playing. You could end up dead. Or worse. Jason’s no stranger to people taking what they want by force, and Oz clearly wants you.
“Oswald’s a coward,” you reply harshly. “He only fucks with people weaker than him. So no, I’m not scared of toying with him. He won’t do a goddamn thing to me.”
Jason cocks his head, sizing you up. A pretty girl in lingerie working in a club thinks she’s stronger than a crime lord. Well, you’re probably not wrong.
“You’re not weak?” he asks mockingly.
But it’s still fun to test your resolve. To your credit and Jason’s surprise, you just grin. A breathy laugh falls from your red lips and Jason can’t help the way his eyes flicker down to look at the curve of them.
“I got this without so much as a fight, didn’t I?” you gloat, grabbing the diamond bracelet and swinging it around your middle finger.
“He let you.”
“Precisely. What exactly are you missing here? He let me. Because he’s a fool. And to let me take this bracelet specifically? Well, he’s just about the village idiot,” you laugh.
Jason sees the bait. His stubbornness almost makes him want to not ask just to spite you. But it’s just too intriguing.
“What’s so special about that bracelet?”
You smile wryly. Jason’s reflexes are the only reason he catches the bracelet as you toss it to him from across the room.
“Oh, I think you’re smart enough to figure that one out yourself, baby,” you purr. “Now get the fuck out.”
Jason does as he’s told. He returns to the cave with no intel beyond a locked room with a safe full of jewels and a diamond bracelet. Imagine his shock when Bruce analyzes the serial markings of the bracelet and finds that it was part of a collection that got robbed from a boutique in the Diamond District. It had been months and they hadn’t found a single piece of jewelry from the robbery. There were no leads on who did it or how. And now one of the most expensive pieces is sitting on the Batcomputer. Jason can guess where the rest are.
“Who gave you this?” Bruce asks skeptically.
Always doubt with the old man.
“A friend. Maybe,” Jason ponders.
Bruce rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Jason grins at how exhausted all his kids make him. It’s a point of pride among them: who can stress out B the most?
“You should figure that out,” Bruce scolds.
“Yeah, I think I will.”
Jason’s suddenly got a very vested interest in the Iceberg Lounge, and he’s going to satiate that curiosity if it kills him again.
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galactaknightyaoi · 4 months ago
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GALACTA KNIGHT!!!! And congratulations to Meta Knight for experiencing the Cain Instinct for the first time.
Galacta Knight, as you might've been able to tell already, is one of my favorite characters, and KSSU is one of my favorite games (the original SS was my introduction to Kirby!) so I wanted to go all out. Happy day, old man. I pray for at least 20 more years.
Oh, and don't worry! He's not upset about the cake smash, he thinks it's funny. And he got back at him.
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As for the in-universe explanation for there being 16 candles in his cake?
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... 500+ didn't fit in safely.
The birthday boy and his family were just a bit too flammable.
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thepurecinnamonroll · 3 months ago
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Let's just pretend the episode went like this
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enbeemagical · 2 months ago
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lemme try this again
Hey Tumblr! I'm writing a book. It's 102k words (and counting) of pure queer fantasy and a year's worth of emotions.
It's about a queer kid finding community and support, and then stepping up to defend the people they love. And it's about falling in love and finding yourself, and it's about trust, and connection, and responsibility, and trying to do good in the world. It is also about gay.
Blurb thing:
Destiny has always been alone, self-isolating so that no one will find out about her magic, the same power that she watched a little girl dragged away for nine years ago. Then she meets Vida, a beautiful fae whose kiss sparks something inside her, and Destiny chooses to follow her.
She's not expecting Vida's family to be a werewolf pack. Or that they'll be so welcoming— she was told werewolves are monsters, after all. She's definitely not expecting them to become her own family.
But when Destiny begins to change, it's the wolves who accept him for who he is. And it's the wolves who are the first to see Destiny's magic and swear to protect them, no matter what. And it's up to Destiny to decide what that looks like.
Even if it means changing the world.
(yes the pronoun shifts in the almost-last paragraph were intentional)
And now a quote:
“Don’t you ever want to do something you’re not supposed to? Love the wrong way, be the wrong person, want the wrong things?”
If this sounds like your cup of tea, rb and let me know! I'm not sure when I'll start posting it, there's still a few edits I need to get done, but encouragement will definitely make that happen sooner~
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moonsnqil · 5 months ago
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part 2 of art i did for the aftg big bang
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based on @valnillablonde 's tma au fic!
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