#Death and Taxes spoiler

[nayialovecat]

Death and Taxes - spoiler of ending

I DID IT! I won this game in my second life! Love Snow Globe and the Lamp. The most usefull things ever.

The ending I deserved and wanted to make! Ha!

Plus one of my answers has now become law.

I'm ROTFL so much now X"D

[shazzbaa]

DEATH AND TAX EVASION WAS SUCH A GOOD ES FOR SAM....... I got so invested in heckin Christian Rat Church so heres a bunch of church rats............... more specifics notes under the cut:

the rat church is dealing with a schism, so early on there's a chance to break up a fight and THIS IS JUST A RLY FUNNY MENTAL IMAGE TO ME.... SAM JUST GOES IN THERE AND STARTS PICKING UP RATS

A thing that's come up a few times in chats and rp with friends is that in order to not constantly feel crazy when verses he knows by heart change slightly in every edition, Samuel's kept his own Bible from the surface to refer to. With the rats specifically taking issue with St. Cyriac's edits, I really want to believe Sam got a moment to share older versions of these verses with the Layrat, before all the verses on death were changed to exclude rats....

IF YOU'RE CONNECTED TO FINGERKINGS then in Cheese Heaven the fingerkings specifically notice you're not a rat and only rats are supposed to be there -- instead of helping you leave, they just politely warn you that you'd better escape soon or else they'll have to turn you into a rat. RULES ARE RULES!! Thanks so much guys. I'm still losing my mind abt how much cheese heaven scrambled sam's brain.... just rly thought he was a rat for a bit there......

ALSO I HAVENT STOPPED THINKING ABT BEING ABLE TO HEAR THE LAYRAT PRAYING FOR YOU. I compared this ES early on to another ES I played a while back, All The Saints, where the Intrepid Deacon is sort of looking to you during a crisis of faith, and Sam worked hard to keep him un-tempted. But... for this one, Samuel was less sure, and uncertainly encouraged the Layrat to be willing to question what he grew up with, and to follow his heart on these strange new ratty religious ideas. But... this little rat was the one to keep faith and help him when Sam nearly forgot himself... I DONT KNOW MAN. IVE GOT EMOTIONS ABT RAT FAITH.

[chronicowboy]

Buck may not be a paramedic like Chim or a qualified doctor like Hen or a field medic like Eddie. He may not have Bobby's impressive decades of experience or Ravi's desire to take every single LAFD training course there is in his spare time. But he's picked up a lot from his six years with the fire department, so he feels pretty confident in diagnosing Verne with a serious amount of internal bleeding.

But the ambulance has been and gone, back-up hasn't arrived, and everyone else is busy with patients in more critical condition, so Buck crouches down next to Verne and gets to work on starting a line.

"How are you doing, Verne?" Buck asks with a smile. "Any major discomfort or pain I should know about?"

"My back, and my hip," Verne sighs, "but they've been uncomfortable for over a decade now, kid."

"Well, the fact that you can still feel that discomfort is very promising, at least."

"Promising," Verne hums. "Sure, let's go with that." His eyes turn a little glassy, drift, unfocused, somewhere over his shoulder.

"Hey, Verne, stay with me, yeah?" Buck smiles when their eyes meet again. "That's it. You're gonna be okay."

"This isn't the first time I've died, firefighter Buckley." Verne shakes his head with a grimace. "I know how this goes."

"Then, you know you go to the hospital and come back to life," Buck says, a little desperation creeping into his words. He keeps seeing flashes of a pale blue shirt and hearing snatches of a realisation about happiness.

"Maybe when I was your age." Verne smiles weakly. "Got into an accident after picking my best friend up from a bad date. They said I died for two minutes in the ambulance."

"Two minutes, huh?" Buck palpates his ribs to distract Verne as he checks on the rapidly growing bruise on his abdomen.

"You ever died, kid?"

"For three minutes, actually." Buck grins up at him. "Not to brag." Verne huffs a laugh. "I was that firefighter that got hit by lightning."

"No kidding," Verne chuckles. "Pretty cool way to go."

"Oh, very cool, yeah." Buck nods, biting down on his lip as he checks to see if the others are free yet. They aren't. "The trippy dream I had during my coma was pretty cool too."

"Yeah?"

"Well, unsettling more than anything, but, uh, I made it back, so that's what counts." Buck wraps a bandage around the sluggishly bleeding cut on Verne's arm. He winces, groaning, and Buck panics. "You said you were driving your best friend home from a bad date?" Verne nods. "That's exactly what I was doing last night," he snorts. "See that firefighter behind me?" Buck jerks his head at Eddie over his shoulder.

"Diaz?" Verne coughs.

"Yeah." Buck smiles. "His aunt keeps setting him up on terrible dates, I've become his get out of jail free card."

"And what does that entail?" Verne asks, curiosity piqued, more alert than he had been a moment ago.

"I pick him up when there are no Ubers nearby, I call him with an emergency when he texts me 911, I answer the phone when one of the women calls him to schedule a second date and pretend to be his husband." Buck shrugs. "Its a lot of fun."

"Is it?" Verne coughs again, a wet noise that makes Buck's stomach drop. "Is it fun when he goes on the dates?"

"I mean, not really." Buck wrinkles his nose, thinks of that swoop of nausea in his stomach every time Eddie walks out of the door. "But I get to hang out with Christopher, Eddie's son, which is much more fun than a crappy date, you know?"

"Did your best friend watch you die?" Verne asks suddenly.

"I-" Buck blinks. "Yeah, he, um..." He clears his throat. "He was actually the one to get me down from the ladder, the one that got my heart beating again." Verne laughs heartily despite the fact that Buck can see the amount of pain it causes him.

"Oh, kid," he sighs, more of a wheeze. "The best friend I picked up from her date? I felt sick every time she told me about a new man."

Well, at least that's normal then. Buck had kind of been worrying he was going insane.

"Then, I died, and I married her a year later."

Buck remembers watching himself take his first breath without the ventilator from behind a window, remembers the way time had warped and stretched on forever and frozen all at once, remembers how his whole life had narrowed down to that one moment.

This feels a lot like that.

Suddenly, five years of friendship flash through his mind. Eddie's gloved hand in his, the only anchoring sensation in a sea of agony. Eddie's thumb on his neck, warm brown eyes a life raft when Buck had been drowning. Building a skateboard and pushing a kid made of sunshine around the park. The zing of happiness an elf had brought him after the sour curdle of disappointment that had hit him on a fountain. Eddie's hands big and warm on his waist. Eddie's smiles, wide and private alike. Eddie's eyes, always so fond and intent. Quiet discussions in the Diaz kitchen, and teasing banter in the loft. Nights with Chris squished between them on the couch, and the bright lights of a video game illuminating the living room. A legal document and a first name said so carefully. A broken door and a broken man alike. Couch metaphors and lasagnes and steaks and cookies.

Oh.

"I look forward to seeing her again," Verne murmurs quietly.

"Hey, no," Buck croaks. "Its not time yet, it isn't time for that yet."

"I think its been a long time coming, kid."

Verne's eyes flutter shut, his chest spasms with a final bloodied breath, and Buck's world shatters around him.

[sashannarcycanon]

SCALENE & EUCLID

headcanons (part two?)

-Bill inherited his humor and leadership skills from Euclid. He also inherited his temper and his lack of self control.

-Bill inherited his instrumental skills from Scalene. He also inherited her "God Complex" (Let's just say Scalene thinks very HIGHLY of herself) and lack of self-awareness.

-As Bill got older, Euclid and Scalene start getting annoyed when he told them he thinks the doctors/optemerists are trying to do something to him. They're like "Bill, you're getting older. You need to stop being afraid of the doctors. Other people your age don't act like this."

-They spoil Bill a bit too much. Especially when he's sad or angry about something.

-Scalene loved making lullabies for Bill when he was a baby, whether it was a parody or an original one. He can't remember the lyrics now but he can remember the tune.

-Euclid loves taking Bill out to parks and playgrounds and just playing with him in general. Even in public as the mayor of Euclydia.

-When Bill cries after an appointment with the doctors/optometrists (especially when he was a child) they would take him to a restaurant or to the mall. Spoiler alert: It doesn't work. Does he stop crying? Yes. Is he still traumatized from the medical malpractices? Also yes.

-The reason they wanna "get rid" of Bill's mutation is not only because it might risk their reputation but also people could bully him alot and it would hurt them to see their son getting that treatment.

-The last thing they saw before they died was Bill reaching for them as they were burning.

-They really do love him, with all their hearts. They never wanted a normal child, they just wanted their child to have a normal life. It wasn't Bill's fault he has that strange eye, after all.

[ebbsea]

finished datv - this is pretty long, oops

[shoutout to bystander ghostzzy who witnessed the hit and run that was this game.]

well. the game felt without teeth, no bite. datv was wrought by a long dev-cycle, a slew of firings, and several rewrites, but i put cynicism aside because i genuinely wanted to give it a chance. unfortunately, it started going downhill pretty quickly from there.

i want to be fair, so i will start with my personal positives:

-robust character customization

-the locations were very beautiful, there were times where i just wanted to stop and soak up the visuals

-the actual gameplay was very fluid and quick, and the rhythm once you find it was fun 

-i liked the solas memories, and some more insights into felassan

-i liked that your character could be explicitly trans, but it was so jarring to hear the words trans and non-binary in this setting. i think they did it so there would be no room for plausible deniability, but it still felt so out of place. we understood what it meant when dorian said he preferred the company of other men instead of using more modern terminology. also if someone misgendered me and started doing pushups i would feel so embarrassed for them.

-there were moments where i did feel endeared to characters, even if briefly

now onto the stickier points.

i can not get over the lack of worldstates. it also puts such a sour taste in my mouth that they waited so long to announce there wouldn't be any. it gives veilguard the feeling of being grafted on.

pacing was weird, companion quest beats were at times out of place. some moments did not feel adequately built up or often had us going "that's it?"

man, oh man, do i miss trevor morris' touch. years later i still listen to the dai ost for drawing or walking/biking, and i just do not feel the same compulsion for datv's score.

the chantry has always been a presence in these games, and they're just gone. they were practically breathing down your neck in games previous - where are they now?

i was expecting to be able to go to minrathous' "high town" so to speak. we don't see any slaves or any other magisters. we don't see the black divine. it feels like they were afraid to broach the subject. after years of talking up how corrupt and hard it is to navigate tevinter life, it's disappointing to not see it. additionally it was disappointing to not explore an actual rivaini city.

major lore reveals were treated with such a blase attitude. perhaps it is the ten years of anticipation, but the way it was presented was done so quickly and no one seemed to have much of a reaction.

i hated the waves of faceless enemies that were just evil for the sake of evil. the evanuris’ motivations just didn’t feel compelling. power for the sake of power, and nothing else. was also deeply disappointed in the lack of dread wolf elven movement and the cutting of espionage plots. wish we saw more groups aligning themselves with him, even if he was only just using them. it would have been interesting interacting with an antagonistic group that wasn't outright evil.

choices (or lack thereof)

i sure wish we had the ability to make more difficult choices throughout the game and to have to carry the weight of them. seeing the ruined base and the aftermath of a dragon attack was neat, but the decision itself felt hollow. having to wait until the point of no return to get anymore just made the lack of meaningful decisions before then more obvious.

izzy asked one of the best questions ever. why is rook in charge?

the other protagonists of the dragon age games were very clearly thrust into their role. there's a blight, a betrayal, and the warden and alistair are the only ones who can do something about it. da2 didn't have world ending stakes, but we were clearly following hawke and their contained story. the inquisitor has the anchor and many eyes on them. i think they wanted rook to be just some guy, but it just feels so strange. can't get past the why them feeling.

the game tries to posture rook and solas as equals, a mirror unto the other, but i didn't feel it. other than the faction blurb we start off with, rook is not given any other difficult decisions in which sacrifice is incurred (minrathous/treviso doesn't feel earned to me). the narrative is constantly reminding us that solas got his hands dirty in the pursuit of a goal, doing whatever it takes by any means necessary to achieve it. you would think they would give us more opportunities to make more challenging decisions.

the factions could have been more morally dubious, instead of this weird conflict-free sheen they all have. they all get the sparkling-eyed-rebel retcon. it feels like they’re trying to recapture the vibe of origins, but it shakes out differently. origins gives you the context of your character’s place in the world, and veilguard doesn't. there is no meaningful change we could make within the factions themselves. they feel redundant.

i like decisions where you really have to chew on what’s being offered to you. it doesn’t have to be between being a perfect angel and the mustache-twirlingly evil option. i didn't mind the minrathous v. treviso decision in theory, but it felt too soon. too uneven. 

that in turn makes the replayability factor questionable as well. where are the major differences in choices? games previous you could play fully-fleshed out characters with enough variance to be distinct from each other. rook is just rook. no matter how you shake it. 

companions

the found-family dynamic feels inauthentic, more forced-family. many moments of sentimentality/opening up feel completely unearned. it takes the fun out of getting to know the companions when they are ready to spill their hearts out from jump. i do miss that we can't be blunt or just sometimes outright mean to our companions or the world at large.

grossly lacking in character reactivity. part of the fun of dragon age is being presented with a choice, and experiencing your companions' various povs. even those who you get along with may have wildly different ideas and philosophies than you do. 

there is no way you could miss out on any companions, just refuse to recruit them, get them kicked out, or have them leave autonomously. no one challenges you or your world view, and you can’t really do the same back. the companion quests got tedious after a certain point, and it quickly got exhausting when the bulk of them devolved into rook playing therapist. negatively impacting your companions isn’t something you do by choice, it’s only something that occurs with inaction. which, in a what's-supposed-to-be a choice-driven rpg, is a pretty boring way to negatively affect your companions’ stories.

maybe it’s misplaced nostalgia, but dao-dai companions were so human. sometimes their worldviews clashed with each other or your pc's, or they made terrible mistakes, and you had to decide whether or not you would stand by them or turn away from them. they had a choice to stand by or turn away from you.

in datv there is little friction.  there is no human complexity. it’s impossible to get on anyone's bad side. they are seemingly always agreeable. they don't have uncomfortable or ugly facets to them. they don't feel like real people with their own sense of right and wrong. but we also don't have many situations where their values can be challenged. and what are the consequences? slower level ups? 

taash's personal questline bothered me so bad. when a character's whole arc is about how they want to escape the binarism of gender, it comes off pretty condescending when, in practically the same breath, you enforce a binary choice on their culture. the choice between qun vs. rivaini comes off even more insidious when the qunari have been explicitly referred to as "islamic borg." it's implied that the non-qun choice is the "better" option. to have that juxtaposed side by side makes it that much more insulting. people have been critiquing the depiction of the qunari for over a decade at this point, so it's disheartening that they haven't paid attention to that criticism, to say the least.

lucanis. the world's softest beige-est pillow. he probably suffers the worst from flanderization - i started getting irritated with him and all his cafelitos. i expected spite to be a much more challenging character, but really it just felt like making sure the kid you’re babysitting doesn’t run out into the street. 

i think the climax of emmrich's questline was the first character specific decision i actually really liked. i liked that neither choice was the "wrong" choice, if that makes sense. it reminded me of the cole spirit/human decision in inquisition.

neve's character arc felt thrown together, kind of meandering around a crooked line. i really like how dry she is and how hesitant she is to let go of the worst case scenario. but she she feels like an afterthought to the devs. playing with a hardened neve did not feel particularly different than when we met her earlier.

with bellara i could feel my interest diminishing as soon as her baby brother was revealed to be alive. as soon as cyrian's reintroduced, it becomes more about him than her. would have been cool to see her struggle with the choice instead of him. i kept seeing ghosts of merrill whenever i had her around.

davrin was the character that felt most dragon age to me. additionally he was probably the only one that felt like we were hanging out and connecting vs. being the team's in house therapist. that being said, it did get tedious having to go walk his puppydogbird so often. i wish we had more chances to talk to him about him though. he went into weisshaupt fully ready to die, and the conversation following that felt so lackluster. like we had to hurry up and pivot back to assan.

harding feels like she regressed maturity-wise. i do like how we get some dwarf-specific content, and some more titan info, but overall it felt like something was missing. also at the back end of her questline, she shares titan-visions with the kal-sharok dwarves, and playing as a dwarven rook had me sitting there like. i would also like to see it. hello.

i think my overall issue with the companion quests this time round is how passive they feel. it feels weird that rook has the final say-so in their lives. many of their personal quests don't connect to the main issue at hand, which, when we are supposedly at the behest of a ticking clock, messes with the sense of urgency. i like the companions well enough, they just don't quite itch my brain. it could be a matter of needing more time to think on them, but this is based off first impressions.

the varric twist was goofy. we kept saying he should have died on those stairs and i guess he did but huh. he never left the room, and we immediately attributed it to bad writing instead of hinting towards a twist. we just assumed they only wanted to pay brian bloom for a day's work and didn't bother to record enough lines for him. easy to dismiss as a cheap nostalgia grab, especially when the other cameos (isabela, morrigan, dorian) illicted the same feeling of seeing those folks in cheap mascot suits.

my only real hope for this game was that it would tie up the story in a neat bow. that we would have satisfying closure before moving on - from dragon age altogether or perhaps to a different era in thedas. but with what we were given, i don't know. classic gnawing feeling of is that all? i did start off feeling very hopeful, and there were moments that did shine through to me, but eh. eh. /minor pet peeve but i don't like the trend of always upping the stakes for each installment (if i get into the executors i will simply pass away).

i don't know what would have fixed this game. it's clear from the info in the artbook that they really wanted to do more. and the waves of firings, and having to pivot so many times came at the expense of the quality of the story. headcanons can only carry you so far. when you have to fill in all of the empty gaps with your own load-bearing headcanons, there is a problem. it’s fun to extrapolate on what’s there, but it feels hollow in this instance. i have always had nitpicks with certain details of the dragon age world, but this game really knocked the wind out of my sails. i'm not looking forward to what comes next. maybe i just need time to let it all marinate, but my gut says no.

i still have a lot of love in my heart for dragon age. but still.

overall disappointing.

[larry-is-my-anchor1]

Season six episode 15, titled Death and Taxes, Buck meets Natalia at a living funeral. Hrumph.

He and Eddie go then to the cemetery to pay their respects for the lady who ended up passing away from the cancer.

Oooh Eddie seems a tad bit annoyed Buck is on r again dating someone he saves. And trades him about how he has to have all the answers.

But Buck you lovable idiot Eddie sees you!!!!! He sees you for who you are and what you have been though. Good lord this enemies to friends to hopefully lovers thing is taking I hope only eight seasons.

Eddie he’s right in front of you!!! Say something!!!

But Eddie is still mourning his deceased ex, mother of his son. He decides to visit his family because of what he learned from the living funeral.

He and Buck pay their respects when they learn she has died and end up at the cemetery. Eddie tells Buck for to change for anyone. And he understands how he doesn’t stay the same after sprucing death.

Eddie though looks a bit confused when Buck says Natalia understands him in a way no one else does. Oh Buck. No.

Buck is dealing with survivors guilt and trying to figure out what it means. And that he’s been given a second chance and to do something with it.

I know everyone changes and had their own story but everyday it feels more and more like it’s Buck’s journey in particular.

It just feels like they’re going to hopefully realise what they have been looking for in a person was always in front of them.

[rosietherivendell]

Eddie *dissociating, wearing his depression outfit*: We're all going to die alone.

Buck *twirling his hair*: So there's this girl...

Eddie:

[likeshipsonthesea]

death and taxes (the ship)

spoilers for 6x15 bc the auditor (debbie) had a ring and honestly natalia’s way out of buck’s league, here you go

Debbie closes the door behind her and immediately slumps back against it. She lets her bag, jacket, and keys fall to the ground in a cacophony of thumps and follows it up with a truly impressive sigh.

“Babe?”

Debbie closes her eyes. “I’m home,” she calls back. She listens to the soft steps of socked feet against the hardwood floors, inhales the alluring scent of fresh coffee, and opens her eyes to see her beautiful amazing wonderful wife standing there in a pair of Debbie’s shorts, holding a mug with a Death Becomes Her quote on the side of it.

“Bad day?” Natalia quirks her lips in a perfect half-smile.

Debbie grunts. Natalia holds the cup out in invitation. Debbie steps out of her heels as she moves forward, hands outstretched and reaching. Natalia, because she’s beautiful amazing wonderful and kind, allows Debbie to gulp down two large, scalding sips before corralling her toward the couch. Debbie manages another wayward sip as Natalia bullies her into putting her legs in Nat’s lap.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Nat asks as she begins doing something lovely to Debbie’s left calf.

Debbie grunts once again, this time muffled by her fourth sip of coffee.

“Talking about it makes you feel better.”

The doubtful sound Debbie makes in response goes through both her fifth and sixth sips, but no longer because with that Debbie finishes her coffee and has nowhere else to go. Too bad it didn’t really scald her mouth, otherwise she would have a valid reason not to talk about her terrible day at work.

“Come on, we’ll start easy. Tell me the best thing that happened today.”

“I just finished it,” Debbie says, staring forlornly at the Now, a warning script at the bottom of her empty mug. Natalia digs meanly into her calf until Debbie grunts and tries to flail out of her grip.

“Tell me the funniest thing then.”

Debbie sighs, pushing the mug onto the coffee table and turning to pout up at her wife’s encouraging face. “This straight couple was called in because they didn’t coordinate their taxes before filing.”

“Huh? How do you mess that up?”

“Straight people don’t talk, apparently, I don’t know. They both put their kid down as a dependent and both filed as head of household. Then they confessed all their tax sins like I was their priest or something.”

“You’d make a hot priest,” Natalia says, which unfortunately pulls a smile from Debbie’s lips. Damn it, if Nat wasn’t so damn cute when she looks all triumphant like that Debbie would be annoyed.

“Maybe I should become a priest. No tax season.”

"You’d get bored of all the pageantry before your first sermon.”

Debbie inclines her head. Nat’s probably right. “What about a bartender? They’re kind of like priests.”

“Whatever makes you happy,” Natalia says, switching to the right calf. “Anything but a firefighter.”

Debbie lifts her eyebrows. “Your date with the dead dude not got well?”

“It wasn’t a date,” Natalia says, like she’s said every time Debbie’s called it that.

“Did he know that?”

“I hope so.” Natalia gets to a tight spot and Debbie winces. Pausing her sentence for a moment, Natalia bends down to press her lips softly against the spot before continuing. “He talked about his post-death coma dream the whole time, so if he thinks that’s what a date is, I worry about his chances.”

Debbie smiles and reaches out to twirl a strand of Nat’s hair around her finger. “Did you have fun at least?”

“Totally. It’s weird to meet someone with the knowledge that isn’t, like, about to die, yaknow?” Natalia leans her head into Debbie’s hand so Debbie can play with the baby hairs at the base of her neck. “He felt like a kindred spirit. He knows how precious every moment is, the beauty of our mortality. I don’t know. It felt--good. Like a book club when everyone actually read the book.”

“You’re never going to let Sandra live that down, are you?”

“We had a whole month, who shows up without having read a single chapter?” Debbie massages the base of Natalia’s skull. Nat’s shoulders lift and fall with a deep breath. “But anyway. It was nice. And the coma dream stuff was a cool insight into how our brains work when we’ve experienced death. I bet it has something to do with how our bodies flood with...”

Debbie is a horrible wife because she tunes out all the sciencey stuff Natalia adores to just take in her wife’s joy as she talks about her favorite thing in the world. The flush to her cheeks, the brightness of her eyes, the flyaway hairs stuck to her forehead. Tax season always burns Debbie out, but the thing that gets her through the long days is the thought of her wife at home with a hot cup of coffee and her masterful massages.

Debbie will admit that she enjoys a good bit of certainty. Her job is about making things add up. She likes knowing that everything’s accounted for, everything fits, everything’s certain. She likes knowing what she’s coming home to every night, her wife and coffee and some cuddling on the couch.

Some people might find it boring, but Debbie likes knowing what her life will look like. Maybe they’ll move, maybe she’ll become a priest or a bartender or anything but a firefighter, maybe they’ll decide they want kids or a dog or that ferret Natalia’s been gunning for. But Debbie knows, through it all, she’ll have Natalia and her everlasting joy for life, borne of the certainty of its ending.

Maybe it’s more faith than certainty. But what’s life without a bit of faith?

Nothing but death and taxes.

[eddiewithcat]

need people to lay off natalia like honestly, so many people getting upset because … buck is flirting with her?

HE is the one FLIRTING. she’s not even flirting back?? she does not seem interested in him at ALL in a romantic way and instead seems more interested about what he’s BEEN THROUGH.

she sees this as strictly professional and he’s the one who’s being a silly goose and flirting and embarrassing himself like …

leave natalia alone! she does not want this man! (and even if she did … can you blame her? can you blame HIM for flirting with her? she’s hot! and intelligent! her job is fucking cool… i would also fall on my knees for her like cmon)

[akewolf]

DISCLAIMER: I’m SURE, more than ever, Buck and Eddie are gonna be endgame; this is just a lil rant to get my feelings off my chest otherwise I think I’ll fall apart.

So… Eddie broke my heart in this last episode, and I’m not even joking. And Fuck. It feels like someone is carelessly uprooting things in my chest. The hurt in Eddie’s eyes? Does he feel like he’s not enough for Buck? Because I can see that he had his ‘oh moment’ (consciously or subconsciously) and I get it that he’s probably waiting patiently to act on his feelings cause Buck is not in a good place rn but I also feel like he thinks he can’t be more to him. And that he’s not enough. That Buck doesn’t see him. And if this is actually it— someone please end my suffering.

"There’s something different about her. I feel like she sees me" or "You know, like she sees me for who I really am and what I’ve been through"

and my personal favorite (aka the saddest)

"I think she might even see more of me than I see in myself"

and this is the worst for me, this— this is— how can you say that in front of Eddie? What do you mean she sees more of you than you yourself? His emotions are all over the place and he’s mixing things up in his head and we know that but it still hurts. BUT it’s also beautiful they chose to show us Buck thinking Natalia sees him as opposed to Eddie actually seeing him, more than Buck himself, and who has always seen Buck.

and I care to add, I don’t hate Buck, actually I love him but— in this ep I just… I can’t. Eddie’s scenes in "Death and Taxes" are haunting and I’m hurting. so bad.

ah poor babies. I just wanna hug ‘em so fucking tight, tell ‘em that it’s all gonna be ok and never let go.

Loved the episode btw and I’ll root for them till the end of my life.

[makorragal-312]

Buck having an emotional, heartfelt conversation with the man who sees him for himself.

VERSUS

Buck having an awkward, unusual conversation with a woman who sees him for his death.

[buddieisgoingcanon25]

Buddie 6x15 “Death and Taxes” Part 2

[daniwib]

Eddie, devastated at Buck’s infatuation with Natalia, goes to a bar and proceeds to become heavily intoxicated. When a persistent admirer won’t leave him alone, he calls Buck on the phone for help and begs him to be his fake boyfriend.

It does not go the way he thought it would.

For the @911bingo square prompt: Help me, I'm being hit on at a bar, please be my fake boyfriend for a second. Read on Ao3 here

Reader interaction is always welcome and reblogs appreciated!

[chronicowboy]

no but why does eddie's expression look a little like the forced humour he had to wear in the graveyard scene....

[dancing-mylife-away]

marisol saying she’s never had a s’more when that was chris and shannon’s Thing™️

*athena voice* insanity

[reel-fear]

👁️👁️

You must tell 👀

*rubs my little hands together* sorry for taking a bit on answering this! My brain has not been braining lately but your ask couldn't have come at a better time bc Grant has been on the mind as of late and I am hyped at the excuse to infodump abt him- [this is gonna be long I am so sorry-]

now for quick disclaimers for anyone reading this that isnt the asker or me- we're not discussing canon Grant Cohen, we're talking my Grant, this black haired dude, that guy. Another fun disclaimer, I was HEAVILY, inspired by Grant's role/character in abomination for my Grant. Taking time to awknowledge every part of his character or story that was inspired by it would make this 10x longer so if similarities are spotted know its very likely I did that on purpose bc I just really love abomination KJHFSDGKJDHGSD-

Alright with that outta the way I'ma talk a lot abt what happens to Grant in the canon of Showtime to explain what I meant and also maybe a bit of me rambling about aus that explore Grants relationship with Sammy n Joey under a more romantic lens. Should be obvious but spoilers for It's Showtime down below~

So Grant in Showtime after he dies ends up joining the ink demon cult, becoming a lost one and earning the title of The Priest.

When the cult was all together him and Sammy worked together to run it. Sammy used his connection to the ink demon to recieve messages and learn more on how to survive in this new situation and Grant made sure the lost ones acted accordingly. [A role not so far off from the one he was forced to take when the studio started facing troubles before his death] Grant also took the job of dealing with sacrificing souls and sending them back to the dark puddles, which sometimes was members of the following chosen at random and sometimes whatever poor soul found themselves captured by them.

However when Malice rose from the puddles and made a deal with the Projectionist to seize a considerable amount of the studio as theirs, the cult was split up, Sammy and Jack forced to flee to the music department and Grant with the rest of the following being down in the area of Chapter 4. This put Grant in a very bad spot, the lost ones were very shaken by this event and since then Grant worries their faith in him has wavered.

An important thing with the ink demon cult was that it is meant to be a more realistic take on how a cult works. The Ink Demon runs the cult, he is the most powerful figure in it and yet the hardest to contact, so Grant and Sammy are little more than middlemen tasked with keeping things running or else they face the ink demon's wrath. Sammy is sadly very aware that the ink demon is not as benevolent as he or the lost ones would like the believe. Grant likes to think being the Priest will at the very least protect him if things go wrong, but he is sadly mistaken.

Grant is in a very dangerous spot, he knows the lost ones beneath him are getting angsty and worried about just how truthfully safe the cult is or if they should believe in the power of the ink demon. But he also knows if things fall apart the lost ones will come to tear him apart long before they go for the ink demon. Despite him merely being a puppet for their lord. A role Grant is not ready to acknowledge, not because he isn't smart enough to see he is just a pawn, but because he chooses not to think about it, less his paranoia eat him alive yet again... A very important thing to keep in mind with Grants character.

Grant did in fact play this role in life as well however, when things started going wrong in the studio, Joey was very quick to turn away from what was going on and continue asserting everything would be fine. Which while a lie he himself believed was a lie nonetheless. However Grant quickly became his right hand man as people like Thomas and Wally started noticing cracks forming all through out the studio. Staff going missing, the ink changing in the way it behaved and an eerie feeling the machine created in both of them.

Grant despite deep down being smart enough to know things were going poorly, parroted Joey's words, hanging off of them himself and doing whatever he could to shut down any attempts to bring to light the things going wrong. Of course, him and Joey both ended up paying the price for their lies, but so did everyone else around them. But unlike Sammy, Grant barely even seemed shaken to see that, like a conspiracy theorist seeing evidence their theory isn't true only makes them double down harder, Grant only seemed to double down on the idea that if he followed every order he was given. Surely things would turn out better this time.

So that's canon to the story of Showtime, but I do want to take a second to get some AU non canon ideas out of my brain centering around Grant and his relationship to both Joey n Sammy. In canon Grant's only romantic interest is Thomas, his literal husband and there is a lot of interesting conflict there, but I fucking love shipping so of course I have a million aus merely indulging in ships I think would also be interesting to explore in their own contexts. In this case, I'm gonna ramble a bit about Sammy x Grant and Grant x Joey and the interesting things I think there are to explore in their relationships in Showtime.

So you might've noticed that while not literally [as saying the ink demon is Joey in Showtime, while somewhat true, is not the entire truth of the situation and simplifies it quite a bit] Grant did end up following Joey to the grave... And then kept following him beyond it. Something that is objectively~ very queer of him.

There's just something so compelling about the idea of Grant yearning for Joey so much, being so close yet so far as his right hand man but not being brave enough to become his lover eventually drove Grant's love for Joey to become an outright obsession. The idea that Grant's feelings for Joey became so intense from how hard he pushed them down it blinded him from seeing the truth of the situation outside of the way Joey painted it. Then dying and his obsession turning into an outright worship of him.

The idea of Grant settling for just being Joey's favorite lackey, his most loyal pet and knowing that's his role but not caring bc at least it makes him stay by Joey's side. Ohh it's an interesting one to say the least. I even did a few sketches of them u can see-

They are doomed by the narrative to me and have been on my mind a lot lately can ya tell? KJDHSFGKJHDFSGKJHDFGSD

However when it comes to Sammy and Grant, I think there is a lot of interesting potential between them too. After all they share being the Ink Demon's henchmen in all of this and to see them both come to terms with that and try to find comfort in each other is such a fun idea to me.

An au where they both decide to ditch the cult and the ink demon and on their own try to figure out what happened to Joey and how to fix things is very compelling to me. I could see their relationship starting out as doing all these things for each other under the excuse they just need comfort until it starts to turn to actual feelings for each other. Both of them coming to terms with the fact Joey was not in fact a perfect person and maybe didn't even know how bad things were getting deep down himself but also finally letting themselves hold him accountable for the lies he told... It's a very fun healing narrative and very in line with a lot of the themes It's Showtime deals with.

Either way, I just really love what I've done with Grant's character in It's Showtime, he's for sure one of the most fascinating to me and the themes his story explores are ones that are important to the story as a whole and by extension me. Umm this turned out very long but I hope u enjoyed the read! Tysm for the excuse to infodump abt him, I was itching for one as u can see KDJHGKJDHFGKJDHFGSD.