akewolf

[akewolf]

love this post

These are my rushed thoughts for the people who are anti-gay Eddie as someone who wholeheartedly believes that he is.

The main argument I see against supporting Eddie Diaz as a queer-coded character, and or that his arc isn’t right to evolve in the direction of making him canonically gay comes in several different shades of “we need to see more healthy platonic relationships between men represented in media.”

That sentiment holds value, and it holds weight because it’s accurate. There is no way to negate the need to see that kind of representation or to seek it out within the characters, or stories we love the most.

The root that leads the search for that kind of representation stems from the real societal pressure that in order for men to be man-enough they should throw their hands up in surrender to society’s void and walk its narrow path. The rusty warnings along the way deem that a fall is deadly, that in a blazing fire it is safest to breathe smoke; that should another man intervene and hold an extinguisher to those flames it works best at a distance. Walk alone, walk far, hold on but not too tight.

Stand at attention. A strong man does not weep. A strong man will provide. A strong man knows God’s name. A strong man shouldn’t feel too deeply. Won’t feel too deeply. Can’t feel too deeply. A strong man will do what’s right, and what needs to be done.

Eddie’s characterization is vast. The show explores the layers that make up each individual piece of his identity, and with each passing year it uncovers more of what he’s tried hardest to bury.

Eddie is a man who grew up navigating that path, walking it over and over until its direction was nothing but wishful thinking-hoping it’ll carry him far enough and muscle memory-that it will regardless. Such a rigid path would let him continue onward should he find his eyes shut. A walk might not find itself a tedious task until its direction is challenged, and Eddie is a man who walks forward. This is a man who’d crawl for miles before stopping to acknowledge his hands and knees were scraped raw.

It’s a ‘manmade’ path. A path carved through repetition. At any cost he was always going to walk forward in complete darkness.

Eddie wouldn’t stop until he finally had visual of the curves in his path-curves someone had created trailing by his side. What could slow his stride other than that which holds Eddie’s heart sane?

His son is perfect-his son will always be perfect. He’ll grow up to be a strong man. Shouldn’t feel too deeply. Can’t feel too deeply. Won’t feel too deeply.

What is it that holds Eddie’s heart sane?

What is it that makes a man strong?

The hardest moments on the show come when Eddie questions how he could ever call himself a man if he were let his son trail that narrow path behind him, and when he realizes how long he may have been.

This is a man who spent his entire life conforming to fit the wrong definition of strength and man whilst equating the two. Every step he takes to fit a certain narrative weighs him down and sends cracks up the walls he has relied on so heavily to stand tall. Though with every shockwave those walls are bound to cave in.

When Eddie moved away from home he finally found footing in a few different directions. Choosing love slowed his pace. Watching his chosen family in colour could stop him dead in his tracks.

There is beauty in vulnerability. To share love, light, and laughter; to cry, scream and hurt. To have someone, illuminate the best parts of life, and dim the worst. To watch the people he cares the most about exist freely and proudly. To change and regress and grow and change again. To find truth through the broken and mended shards of love that others hold still for him when he can’t find his grip.

Bobby and Michael; Chimney and Bobby; Bobby and Eddie; Eddie and Chimney, Buck and Chimney; Buck and Bobby; Albert and Buck; Chimney and Ravi; Eddie and Buck.

“We need to see more healthy platonic relationships between men represented in media.” Its found in a blended family, its found in chosen family, its found in brotherhood, and its found in partnership, its found in friendship.

To open and close and open again. To bury and uncover and bury, bury deep. To see clearly, find hope and take on change. To know love as unconditional. To realize what you know is no longer what you see. To know that the path you’re expected to walk is not what makes you who you are. That rather, the life you choose, the people you choose, the hearts you hold closest are inherently what carve out what makes up your own.

To see “healthy platonic relationships between men,” and know that it doesn’t change who they are. That the best relationships will only uncover deeper parts of yourself including the ones you didn’t know you were allowed to show. Because, what if being vulnerable doesn’t make you a certain way… what if it just shows you how to be true?

On the show that kind of representation becomes homophonic rhetoric when it is found through dozens of men who love, and respect one another without any romantic undertone. To turn around, and actively put the continued search for that representation on the narrow path you fight against is where MY issue lies.

Eddie Diaz is a man who is still walking forward continuing to carve out a path that is bound to crumble.

To uncover the beauty in truth and error. To find connection with other men, and find closeness with another man. To watch the exploration and normalcy of love. To uncover that there is no set path. To know he gets to be who he is as he is, that trying to fit a certain narrative will only ever break his heart over and over and over again. Eddie can find his truth, but he’ll find it when he realizes it’s always been present.

What if uncovering the truest parts of himself doesn’t make him gay? What if he has a close vulnerable relationship with his best friend and it doesn’t make him gay? But what if after everything he’s shoved down and repressed and unmasked-what if he so happens to be gay? I would think that doesn’t mean he’s not man enough anymore? If Eddie were to realize he had fallen in love with his best friend does that mean that their vulnerability shared platonically in the past didn’t count? Does Eddie being gay mean his journey to find what it is to be a man is void? Does Eddie’s potential queerness eliminate the past elements of platonic vulnerability on the show? Did Buck’s?

There is beauty in vulnerability but the best man knows there is power in acceptance.

Accepting others. Accepting yourself. Accepting the truth as it comes.

If that truth is queer-coded to such a large demographic why is it so unsettling?

A man’s journey to find what it means to be strong despite the void of society’s narrow path is not devalued by his potential queerness.

[akewolf]

You know what’s so great about Tommy?

He represents hope. He is living proof that people can not only change, but also turn their lives around.

When he was in the begins episodes, he was scared and spineless and sometimes an asshole, all for the purpose of fitting in with Good Ole Boys club. He was deep in the closet and had been in an unhealthy environment probably all of his life. Lou said that Tommy had a rough life, an unstable home and childhood. Add an undetermined amount of years in the army to however long he was trapped at the old 118, I’m starting to think he never realized another option was for him. Not that there wasn’t another option, but that it wasn’t an option he could have.

But then Chimney comes in. Someone on another post of mine pointed out that it was because Chim was an “other” and Tommy didn’t want to be pinned as an “other” too and I agree. Same with Hen, but sadly worse. She got awful treatment from the 118 and Tommy went along with it. But even back then, we got treated to things like Tommy hugging himself during Hen’s speech to the house, to his face falling when the captain uses the “diversity hire” line.

But then Bobby comes in and he’s not standing for people’s shit. Slowly, the 118 starts to move forward and while Tommy isn’t stuck fitting into a toxic boys club anymore, he’s left behind because he can’t move himself forward anymore without confronting who he is. So he leaves the 118 and moves to Harbor.

Somehow, somewhere along the way to where we are now, Tommy came out to himself and with the way he talks, probably started therapy. When we meet him again, he is so gentle to himself and those around him. This is a Tommy we could see glimpses of before, but now he’s finally safe to be himself in all aspects.

And I think this is so important for all people who find themselves with any parallels to Tommy’s storyline. For so many people that have to live in secret. For people trapped in a horrible environment, one they have to mimic to survive. For people who can’t face themselves until later on in life. For people who look successful on the outside, but are crumbling on the inside. And to the person who fits their gender roles to a T, the macho man or feminine woman, who doesn’t “look queer” or “act queer”. There’s a place for everyone.

You just have to find your place. Look what that did for Tommy.

[akewolf]

eddie saying "to be fair, you had just died" and then moving to put his thumb on buck's pulse i see you eddie diaz

[akewolf]

Me at the end of season 6 of 911

Honestly? I’m too old and gay for this shit

[akewolf]

more proof this fandom needs therapy🤝

[akewolf]

the way that it's hen standing beside eddie in this moment of clear physical pain and pure, unbridled anguish and terror.

hen, who watched karen flatline a handful of episodes ago. who desperately worked to save her life in the back of that ambulance. hen, who thought she lost her wife, the love of her life, the mother of her child-

(only to end the episode with the wilson family at home together, safe and sound, hen fussing over her wife and getting her all set up on the couch to recover.)

hen, whose wife and child were simultaneously endangered in the lab explosion. hen, who was unable to rescue them herself, even though every instinct was screaming at her to run headfirst into the burning building.

(she may not have been injured the way eddie is here, but she was benched by bobby and barred from the scene on account of no longer being a paramedic.)

hen, who spent an entire episode subconsciously reflecting on her and karen's journey so far, everything they've been through together, how they built their family, and how they found their way.

(an episode written by nicole barazza keim, mind you, who happens to be- oh, yknow. one half of the writer duo behind pay it forward. no big deal. nothing to see here, keep it moving!)

so, like. of course it had to be hen, in this moment, who's here for eddie, because-

hen was the only witness to his widow's grief for buck.

christopher's back was turned, and eddie hurriedly wiped away his tears before chris could see.

but hen? she saw all of it. and we still haven't circled back to that fact.

in an episode called pay it forward, i'm starting to think this may be hen's chance to pass on the lesson that she and karen learned in tomorrow (courtesy of chimney). how did that go again, exactly?

oh, right:

chimney: hen is not actually dead, but-but she had a pretty bad near-miss accident last night.

karen: what the hell, howie? you can't just say stuff like that.

chim: i know. i just, i... we had a really tough call. and it was rough and there was a minute when i thought hen was dead, and it scared the crap out of me.

karen: and you decided to pay that experience forward?

chimney: yes. look... look, i know you two broke up. and i just thought you needed to know what it would feel like if you woke up tomorrow and you found out hen wasn't in this world anymore.

...

karen: because i thought you were dead. when howie called, there was a moment when i thought you died in that accident. when i felt like i'd lost you forever. and it scared me. to think of you being gone. never having a chance to fix things or try again.

hen: karen, it's too late.

karen: it's not. as long as we are both here on this earth... as long as we have tomorrow, it's not too late.

[akewolf]

look i hate the buckley parents as much as everyone BUT everytime those motherfuckers pull up to dinner buck will bring his A game that dude is looking FINE so i guess we gotta thank them for something

[akewolf]

#like mother like daughter

Requested by anon

[akewolf]

make sure you're following your heart not christopher's

aka the all paths lead to buck theory that @danielsousa and i are currently spiralling about. this is going to be incoherent and insane but bear with us here because we have connected the motherfucking dots. we've known for a while that the one place both eddie and christopher's hearts have in common is buck. but we didn't realise just how many times one of three has found their way to another through the third. i don't think thats entirely coherent but it will make sense, hear us out:

post-earthquake eddie finds his way to christopher because buck drives him to the other half of his heart

post-tsunami buck only finds christopher after finding eddie

when chris finds out about ana and goes missing, eddie finds him because of buck

post-shooting buck only gets the text eddie is okay when he's with christopher

post-lightning eddie can only find his way to buck's bedside when christopher comes to the hospital

in the coma buck finds his way back to the real world, back to eddie, through christopher

there are hundreds of these moments making it clear that buck and eddie and christopher's journeys are all fundamentally intertwined, their paths all intersect and lead to one place where its the three of them for good. they are all connected by an invisible string and if they find their way to one they find their way to another because they are a unit!! a family!!! and no matter what, no matter how many detours or how much construction, they all end up in the same place eventually. and that's what matters.

[akewolf]

originally saw this on twitter so credit to them, but since nobody’s mentioned it on here imma post it…

the “heart of a champion” basketball kid from the earthquake is in the finale? 👀

[akewolf]

I'm so used to Eddie and his happy fond exasperation with Buck that his not so fond exasperation with Ravi threw me for a loop for a second lol

like this man went right into big brother mode of listen here you little shit. Not now. My husbands sisters boyfriend is freaking out and I don't have the energy for this drama when my husband spirals as a result. If his sister is unhappy then he’s unhappy which means I’m unhappy which means your all unhappy. Shut up and find the ring and don't you dare mention signs or luck or anything to scare any of them off!

Thank you to @swiftiebuck for the gif

LITERALLY DEAD BC THAT IS SO SPOT ON 😂😂 he was so not having it with Ravi in that moment bc he literally cannot handle his husband being in a pissy mood. So he needs to help his brother in law find the ring so that he can propose to his sister in law so that his husband is all happy and then Eddie can get laid. Lmaooo I love it!!! They’re such a family and exasperated big brother Eddie is becoming a new favorite of mine 💜

[akewolf]

What’s your Instagram?

I have two profiles actually

my personal one @cyberfrost.exe

my art stuff™️ account @akewolf

[akewolf]

If I were to suggest that Eddie has been pining (and waiting) all season. That he thought it was a fantasy and then he started to truly realise his feelings more as the season went on. That after he thought he lost Buck things clicked into place and his longing just got louder… but he knew the right thing was to sit back and wait.

And now he knows fully how he feels. But he just wants to help Buck and he would never ruin what they have by telling him. And so instead he’ll be there for him even when Buck is searching for answers in other places .

So he’s just going to keep pining (next ep)… even louder than before… and maybe someone will finally notice.

[akewolf]

This is a super interesting question and it’d deserves an equally interesting answer that I’m not sure I can provide ‘cause my English is a bit wonky :/ but I’ll sure try and maybe you can go search some papers on the matter because this is a great topic

Here, we’re talking about light and shadows and how they work when a source of light hits something. In this particular case —the cemetery scene between Buck and Eddie— the shadows are dark and defined and a bit long so basically this tells us it’s a sunny day, clear skies and the sun isn’t at its zenith but probably not too much low on the horizon. Simply put, it’s approaching sunset. (well, it’s a simplification because the rotation of the earth on its axis changes the shadows according to seasons and location so it’s much more complicated than that— but we’ll try to keep it simple, k?)

Before we get to the point, we’re going to take a slight detour to understand the basics of how light and perspective work so please, bear with me. The light travels in straight lines until it hits an object, right? Thus the shadow forms in a straight line wherever there is an opaque object between that and the sun. So why when we are looking at shadows they’re not parallels but they spread in different directions?

Perspective and the so called vanishing point(s).

A common example used in classes (but also a very good one) is that of the railroad tracks

the lines are parallel but converging on the horizon and THAT is the vanishing point. And we know the railroad tracks never touch, of course we do, but we’re looking at ground level, not from above, so our eyes see it that way. These are the basics of perspective.

But how does it work in relation to a single light source? In this case the sun? Even light and shadows have their vanishing point, very specific ones at that and I’ll try to draw some visual examples to reach the Buddie scene at the end.

as you can see the two people are not touching but their shadows do because they are NOT on the same ‘depth of field’ (does it make sense? I hope it does).

another example on actual photographs:

and finally the scene that concerns us:

so I hope my messed up (probably most certainly a bit imprecise) drawings are clear enough and that I also made the point of what I was trying to explain. Maybe someone who knows English better than me can expand on this tread or, you know, help me explain things better lol

BTW, this is just the technical part, but as far as speculation goes I sure as hell know this was INTENTIONAL. We’re supposed to see their shadows (dark and defined on the ground) connect despite Buck and Eddie being slightly apart (aka misunderstanding between the boys). The writers know what they’re doing, and Buddie is coming at full force.

Hope this was what you were asking hon, have a great day!

Can someone wiser than me explain why their shadows are touching when they are standing slightly apart? 

[akewolf]

i feel like we're IN FOR IT in the finale, i think we're going to get a hurt/trapped TEAM. i feel like literally all of them are in danger. we got bts of chim hurt, bobby falling, ambulance crashed (hen? hen and chim?). we have eddie "we all die alone"/"we've got time" diaz. buck with his bs about death and the lightening but OH HO HO what if he has to deal with it once again?

idk man i am EXCITED and SCARED AF y'all this is going to be amazing and probably terrifying!

[akewolf]

Chimney's proposal didn't even happen and we already got quality banter in a single scene

Buck and Hen fighting for best man roles

Bobby wanting to officiate the marriage

Ravi with his outside view being clueless and brutally honest

Buck stopping Ravi

Eddie doing damage control

Buck indirectly saying 'Chim don't you dare be modest with this, my sister deserves better" LMAO

Exasperated in Panic Chim regretting having shared his plan with the team

[akewolf]

Talking Buddie Language: Ep 6.15

This episode was really a rollercoaster of emotions. One of the main themes being death and grief made it very hard to watch for any one who have lost a loved one, especially a parent. I want to send anyone who struggled with this episode a big hug on my behalf 💜

We got a few good moments within this episode and a great Buck and Eddie moment in my opinion and I for one am really excited to get into it. There’s so much build up that continues with each and every episode which makes me believe we’re heading towards a huge finale. The ride’s been bumpy but we’re getting closer friends.

Before getting into this meta, one little thing I want to highlight is how we’re seeing Buck and Eddie working together again as partners on the job. Not only that, but they do such a wonderful job framing them two being close to each other and constantly looking at one another. In the first call we see Eddie looking back at Buck as he walks past him and I just love those little bits we get. Now I don’t know if it’s Ryan and Oliver’s little twist or it’s actually on the script, but I love to see it nonetheless.

Diaz Boys Visit Shannon

I really found the scene with Christopher and Eddie, visiting Shannon‘s grave to be so heartbreaking and emotional because we haven’t really had them talking about their grieving when it comes to her. The last we really heard of Shannon was in 5.10 during the Christmas episode where Christopher was worried. I really loved that they showed us Christopher talking to his mother about his accomplishments and schoolwork and his likes. This was about the Diaz family in its entirety but I can’t help but notice the bold parallel we get with Christopher and Eddie in this scene.

C: Do you think she can hear us when we talk to her?

E: Absolutely. That’s why we come here.

Now just to refresh anyone’s memory, back in 6.11 when Chris begged to see Buck while he was in a coma, we got him asking Eddie and Hen:

C: Can he hear me?

H: Bet he can.

He talks to Shannon and Buck the same, quiet and lovely way. His voice is steady and you can hear how much he loves the both of them. And I think with this blatant parallel, the show really is trying to emphasize how important Buck is in not only Eddie’s life, but Christopher’s as well. They’ve done a lot to highlight Buck and Christopher’s relationship aside from Eddie and this moment where he talks to his mother, in the same tone of voice as he did Buck, really speaks volumes as to what they’re trying to convey to their audience.

But going back to Eddie and Christopher, you can see how both of them are still grieving the loss of their mother and wife. Eddie is really trying not to tear up even though it’s hard, especially when he knows his son is still hurting from losing his mother at a young age. The part with the s’mores really made me so emotional because of what it can represent.

C: Can we make an extra one for mom?

E: Always.

The way I interpreted this scene was Christopher shyly, asking his father if they can keep his mother’s memory alive. To which Eddie confirms that she will always be a part of their lives, and in their hearts. It also ties in with what we saw last week with Eddie struggling to date/move on, but embracing that he doesn’t want to be alone forever.

Talk About Taxes At The 118

One of my favorite things on the show is when the firefam discuss literally all their life problems with each other at work. This time we see Chimney freaking out about the fact that him and Maddie are getting audited. This then leads into everyone else discussing how they do their taxes and there’s just a cute moment that I wanted to highlight here between Buck and Eddie, that came to be because of Ravi.

R: Look don’t beat yourself up Chim. I’m not great at doing my taxes either. No one is.

B: Uh, I am!

R: Seriously?

E: You missed his whole super power phase.

I love the fact that Ravi really questioned Buck because he was in disbelief over the fact that he may be smart enough to do his taxes. Which I know is like a running thing within the firefam that Buck is not as smart as he seems. But that’s like the opposite of what is in fact true because we’ve actually seen him come up with really wonderful saves while they’re trying to help the victims. I love how Eddie reverts to his usual flirty teasing ways but does it with such fondness that it would make anyone blush. He even looks at Buck while he says it and prolongs his stare just a little bit. It’s small things like these that really makes me wonder how it’s not obvious to anybody else that Eddie seems to be in love with Buck.

The Living Funeral

This was definitely something we haven’t seen before. The fact that there was a living funeral that got interrupted by an actual car crash was ironic in my opinion. Poor Marie just wanted a reunion with her friends and family that she hadn’t seen in a while and she ended up injured at this living funeral that they put for her.

One thing I found very interesting was the fact that Natalia was the one kneeling next to Marie. But the way they shot that scene, you see Eddie coming to take over where she’s kneeling, and she immediately gives up her place to him. Now I don’t know if I’m just seeing things or thinking things, but something about that specific moment, makes me feel like she is going to be some sort of placeholder for Eddie in the very near future. And when I say, placeholder, I mean a placeholder for what Eddie represents in Buck’s life. It may be possible for Buck to be interested in her on a romantic level. However, I don’t think that’s going to be the right partner for him and I will go into that a little bit more later on. Just the important thing here is the fact that I feel like, she is in place of Eddie currently, but he will eventually take over what she is representing in Buck’s life.

I love seeing Buck and Eddie, working together as partners again on the field. Just having Bobby say their names together made me feel all warm inside. This season we have seen Eddie take on more of a medic role and I just really miss him and Buck being fire fighting partners together.

When Eddie, Hen, and Buck are at Marie’s side, I want to highlight how the moment she explains that this funeral was for her, Eddie immediately looks over to Buck, while Buck looks over to Hen. They’re all in disbelief but one thing I find consistent with them on calls is them looking at each other when their victims say crazy things. So the fact that Eddie reverted to immediately look at Buck, but Buck was looking at Hen kind of teases some miscommunication amongst them two. They’re always in sync so the fact that this one tiny moment you can see them not being on the same wavelength really does tell me that there’ll be a misunderstanding or miscommunication of sorts soon.

M: We’re all gonna die alone. Might as well spend time with our loved ones while we’re still living.

Eddie’s face after she said that to him broke me. This was very reminiscent to Lev’s final words to Buck in 6.04. Buck collects old men while Eddie collects old women right? I believe her words are going to have a massive impact on Eddie these last few episodes, just how Lev’s words stayed with Buck throughout the majority of this season.

The End Of Life Doula

I love how when Marie introduces Natalia to them, Hen and Eddie look at her questionably. Meanwhile Buck seems intrigued almost immediately. This parallels to when he met Taylor Kelly for the first time when they saved her from the helicopter and he was smitten pretty much from the beginning. That’s the thing with Buck. He always dives in head first without actually sitting down and thinking about it fully. He sees a cute and interesting girl and is sold right away.

Buck seemed interested in her because of what she does and he tried his awkward flirting with her from the very beginning. The man clearly has unresolved trauma from his brush with death, and he is clearly not seeking help for it. So it makes sense that he would be interested in someone who helps with people dying.

From the way she was responding to him, you can tell there was no immediate attraction or interest on her part. Well, until she found out that he died. Then you see her facial expression morph into that of interest, and she immediately wanted to find out more. Which clearly was unexpected for Buck because he seemed confused when she told him the fact that he died was awesome! He even looked very shocked that she asked him out for coffee. There is clearly some kind of disconnect there, because it’s so obvious that he is thinking she’s really interested in him, meanwhile, she’s literally interested in the fact that he died.

Eddie Talks To His Mom

I love any and all scenes we get with the Diaz boys. I love how this season we’ve gotten so much Christopher content and he’s literally growing up in front of our eyes. He is so bossy and sassy and clearly running things in that household and we adore him for it. It also makes me believe he’s going to be a part of a bigger storyline that ties the season together.

C: We’re gonna be late. Dad hurry up.

I will say, Eddie trying to make time to go back home is something. He’s in a much better place with his parents and he genuinely wants to go and visit them. He also knows that time isn’t promised to anyone so he should see his family as often as he can. And that’s just coming out of the living funeral. But one thing that Eddie said really raised the hairs on my neck because it was such an obvious foreshadowing and not a good one at that.

E: We’ll figure something out ok, I promise. We got time.

Now the concept of time has been following Eddie around for many seasons now. The most recent one was literally mentioned in 6.01 when he’s playing the game with Chris at Buck’s loft.

E: Time. Aw you’ll win next time.

There’s just something about the concept of Eddie really thinking he has all this time to do something. Now what that something is is the question here, but the last time we had him give any sort of advice on time, it was to Chimney. He literally told him, “Tomorrow is not promised. So if you love her, tell her.” This is why I believe that the way they have Eddie continuously talking about time and how he has so much of it, especially knowing that he’s now open to finding love right at the time where the one person that might be the best partner for him is seeking love elsewhere, says a lot. Maybe now it’s his time because he’s sort of running out and he needs to do or say something before he really is out of it.

Date With The Death Doula

This date was literally giving the same cringey vibes as Ana and Eddie’s first date. The fact that Buck was super flirty and seemed into her, but she wasn’t, says so much to anyone watching. He was leaning in towards her the entire time but he did have his arms folded in front of him, which indicates he’s not fully opening all of himself up to her. He’s keeping some things to himself. She had sat back in her chair the entire time and really was just interested in what he had to say about his death, which was worrisome to be honest. It felt like she was questioning him and studying him for her own enjoyment, which is exactly how Taylor was any time they had scenes together.

Buck was definitely flirty with her with his little sparkly eyes, the way he teased her on being a death fan girl but it lacked it from her. You only see her show interest when she leans in towards him the moment he opens up about his coma dream.

Her calling him being close to death “cool” threw him back for a second because he seemed confused as to why she would consider that cool. But again he brushed it off as if she has some weird obsession to it. Which really should’ve been his biggest red flag, but alas Buck doesn’t realize the bad habits he partakes in most of the times.

The biggest takeaway from this “date” is the fact that it was literally built on death, and I don’t see how anything could bloom out of this. It foreshadows this so called “relationship” dying out eventually. Then he told her about his coma dream, which is ironic because he mainly told her about something that wasn’t real. We’ve never seen him talk to Eddie about his coma, dream, only things and feelings that are real to him concerning his death. That distinct difference is very loud in my opinion. Makes you think about the choices they’re making to show how he is with others and how he is with Eddie.

Buck and Eddie Have A Deep Talk At The Cemetary

I can’t believe they dressed so similarly to what they wore in 5.14!! Thank you Miss Taylor Wong for both episodes. Honestly, my heart was really breaking for Eddie during this entire scene.

First of all, these two literally do not comprehend the definition of personal space and I love them for it. As I have mentioned in my previous metas, their bodies are so in tune with the others that they just gravitate towards each other like magnets. They also always dress up for the other. Every single time we get Buck and Eddie doing something together, they're in their best clothes, which is funny considering Buck wore literal joggers on his "date" with Natalia.

E: We're all gonna die alone. It's what she said to me and Hen.

Poor Eddie really is going through it these last few episodes with the whole being alone and dying alone thing. Here's the thing, he did lose a spouse and he still hasn't fully gotten over that. But something about the last episode where he was in agreement about him not wanting to be alone, to now telling Buck they're all going to die alone says something.

It's the fact that it's these two together discussing dying alone when the few times either man almost died, or in Buck's case did actually die, they weren't alone at all. In fact, they were with each other. Buck was the person standing in front of Eddie when he got shot and he was the one who saved him. Eddie was at the bottom of the ladder and he ran up to get to Buck when he got hit by the lightning. Neither man was alone. But the way Eddie says that kind of indicates that he is anticipating be alone in death.

Now I don't want to go too much into speculating why he would think that, but I did find it interesting he said it to Buck, almost as if he already knows Buck won't be by his side in the very end. That's a rather morbid thought and I think it really does come from Eddie having feelings for Buck, but fully believing it's one-sided. I can't get over Eddie being so in love with Buck that he just knows he will never find another partner that is perfect for him. So he'll have to suffer through Buck moving on and finding the right partner, starting his own family, when Eddie is left behind loving him til his last breath. Now I know Eddie is dramatic and so was this little speculation so I apologize for that.

I found it interesting that Eddie was the one to bring up Natalia and not in his usually jealous teasing way. He opened the door for Buck to discuss her and discuss he did.

B: Yeah, uh Natalia. I may have paid her a visit too.

(Gif by @eddiediaaz)

Eddie's immediate reaction is that of exasperation. He is clearly already over hearing the same damn story all over again because that's what it always is, the same story every time Buck meets a woman on a call.

E: Really?

His voice is so heartbroken in this one word. He seems in disbelief but also you can hear how it's not his usual tone of voice. He isn't really teasing him or jealous even, just hurt.

E: Dating somebody you rescued. You know that never ends well.

Eddie is literally speaking from his and Buck's own personal experiences. Any sane person would be able to tell that Buck is reverting back to old habits where he gets all excited about the possibility of a new relationship when he's experienced something traumatic. What he needs is a therapist to be honest.

B: This is different. Anyway she wanted to ask me about the lightning strike.

E: Right, you love being the guy with the answers.

(Gifs by @eddiediaaz)

Something about this line delivery from Eddie really makes the viewer see how much he listens to Buck. Not only that, but he pays attention and retains everything he says. He also proves how well he knows Buck with just that one line. And this is before Buck even goes on to break his heart a little bit.

B: There's something different about her. I feel like she sees me. You know, she, she really sees me for who I am and what I've been through. I think she might even see more in me than I see in myself.

The way Eddie immediately turns his head and looks at Buck in disbelief screams volumes. He cannot believe Buck would say that to him of all people, especially considering that Eddie is the person who knows Buck the best. Isn't that what 6.12 proved to us? That he is Buck's person, the one who knows him truly inside and out, the one where he doesn't have to pretend with. So clearly you can see how Buck's words hurt Eddie. But I don’t think that was Buck’s intentions at all. I think sometimes, it’s easier to open up to a stranger because you know there won’t be any judgement or criticism from them that may come from someone who already knows you. Especially when it’s someone who knows you on a somewhat intimate level. Not saying Eddie would do either of those things. But maybe for Buck, talking about his death to a stranger was somewhat easier because he didn’t have to really dive into all the feelings he has behind it. Whereas he can’t lie to Eddie because he knows him better than anyone else. It was also much less serious with Natalia, whereas he was so honest and raw when discussing about it with Eddie.

E: Look I know we razzed you about your own math skills. Maybe I even tried to get rich off em. To be honest, you haven't been the same since it happened. How could you?

This whole scene really is very loaded. You can see the exact moment Eddie comes to a certain realization because of the way his eyes drift away from Buck and look off into the distance. He is connecting the dots about something. To be honest, I think this was somewhat of an oh moment for him. I think it was mostly him realizing that he himself is different after Buck's death. I mentioned in my 6.12 meta how the way Eddie was talking about how Buck would have feelings about his death implied that he had some unresolved feelings about Buck's death as well. I think witnessing Buck die for 3 minutes and 17 seconds really took a toll on Eddie as we saw in 6.11. He was grieving, he did not handle it well. And that is why he differs from Natalia. Whereas Natalia was so interested and wanted to know more about Buck dying, Eddie couldn't even look at him. He couldn't talk to him and just thinking about the fact that he had to live in a world without Buck for any amount of time killed him. It changed him forever and I think there needs to come a point where Eddie talks about his own feelings regarding Buck's death.

B: Truth is, I uh, I still feel like I have to try and be the same Buck, mostly for the sake of everyone else.

(Gifs by @bilosan)

Eddie shaking his head at Buck's words show that he does know him better than anyone else, especially someone he just met.

E: You don't have to be anything for anybody. And no one is ever the same. From 1 day to the next. Experiences like this, it change us. So what changed in you?

B: When I woke up in that hospital I felt like I had gotten away with something.

E: You cheated death.

I love how when Buck talks about someone else seeing who he is, Eddie shows him that no one will know him and understand him the way he does. Buck can say something and Eddie will know where his line of thinking is headed towards.

B: My life could’ve ended, right then and there. But it uh, it didn't. That has to mean something right?

E: It means you're one lucky guy.

B: Yeah, well I don't think Ima get that lucky again.

E: Well maybe you don't have to. Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice.

B: Which is why I have to make the most out of every single moment.

When Buck pauses here, you can see Eddie tilting his head towards him and patiently waiting for what he has to say. The moment it registers that Buck is looking for something other than Eddie, you see his expression drop a bit. He knows he really is alone at the moment and that Buck is going to give someone else a chance, and you can see the hurt on his face.

B: It's all a gift.

Now some thing that kept playing in the back of my mind while watching this scene was the Buckley Diaz family scene from 6.01 where Buck is complaining about Lucy getting chosen as interim caption instead of himself.

B: Struggling to pick a replacement when he has so many other excellent options right under his nose.

E: Like you?

B: It’s like he’s choosing not to see them and everything they have to offer.

Note how similar these two scenes are to each other. Eddie once again proving how well he knows Buck and knowing where his line of thinking is headed. But it's the fact that Buck is the one explicitly saying how there is the chance of choosing not to see someone who is right under his nose, and everything they offer. Because Eddie has been showing him he loves him in his own way for years now. He literally gave Buck the most precious thing he had, his entire world, his son, on a silver platter and Buck chose not to see that for what it really was worth. So now, it's going to be time for Buck to really open his eyes and realize that instead of repeating the same bad habits and jumping into relationships with people who are bad for him, that he gives someone who has been there in front of him the whole time, a shot. I think they have laid out all the pieces perfectly to get these two together, but they're slowly building the puzzle. We will get it done eventually friends.

Eddie’s Going To El Paso

I love how the man seems to want to flee the state in midst of everything he found out about regarding Buck being into the death doula. Now I’m only partly joking but I think it’s nice that he wants to go back.

The couch parallel scene with Christopher is so loud!! They had Eddie literally come and see Christopher asleep the same exact way we saw him see Buck asleep in 6.12. The couch metaphor is supposed to be present leading up to the finale and so far, every single thing we’ve seen involving a couch has been related to the Diaz boys. I mean it’s not that hard to imply what it can all mean especially for the finale.

The picture of Shannon and Chris falling possibly foreshadows something bad happening to the Diaz family. Now I’m not quite sure if something will happen to Christopher or a family member of Eddie’s. But I think it was pointed to having the picture of them fall and that being the thing that makes Eddie want to call his mom back and tell her they’re going back.

Finally, the way Eddie was looking at that photo just tells me he’s finally in a place that he wants to move on. He wants to find that love again and a partner in life again. And I think he knows who that person is but he’s running out of time to do something about it. So it’ll be interesting to see how this storyline develops further. I wonder if we’ll see pining Eddie or jealous Eddie or an Eddie that goes out and opens himself up to different possibilities to get over Buck. I’m intrigued to see what the rest of the episodes have in store for us for both men! It’s definitely going to be crazy ride for sure!

Thank you so much if you took the time to read this entirely. It really means a lot to me. If you’d like to be tagged in these, please let me know here. Finally, a big thank you to my lovely @aa-lionheart for all the wonderful gifs 💜