#Death & Taxes

[jinjeriffic]

DCxDP - Death and Taxes

Broke college student but also the Ghost King Danny looking at the stack of complaint forms in his inbox about people cheating death. In a stroke of sleep deprived inspiration, he issues a royal decree that anyone who has properly died before (I.e biologically dead, not just clinically dead) is still a citizen of the Infinite Realms, even if they were resurrected. And have to pay income tax to the Crown.

He establishes the Infinite Realms Revenue Service, recruits the ghosts of some meticulous accountants and sends them after all the assholes who think they can escape Death and Taxes. Starting with the worst offenders (ie those who have escaped death the longest/most often). Your tax bracket scales with how many times you died.

Just picture Ra's al-Ghul, in the middle of giving some speech to his assassin cult when this Phil Coulson looking ghost dude shows up behind him to "discuss the back taxes he owes to the Crown".

Every magic user worth their salt is suddenly swamped with messages from panicked villains and heroes who are trying to figure out wtf is going on and how to get out of this. Constantine is sweating bullets.

Danny hires Valerie to do mortal side "casework", because a, she's just as saddled with student debt as he is b, has worked fast food and knows how to handle asshole customers c, doesn't take shit from anybody.

Imagine Vandal Savage, Felix Faust and Red Hood awkwardly sitting in a waiting room with a stack of documents each, ready for their number to be called so they can dispute their claims. Being called in and utterly flummoxed at the unflappable, bored young woman at the desk who somehow has files on everything about you - birth record, death record(s), who you killed and when records... now declare your income as a crime lord/dictator/sorcerer, sir.

Meanwhile Danny is planning on how he can allocate the taxes to open a soup kitchen for Lunch Lady to work at and similar shit. He is determined to be a good king, dammit!

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

We all know the semi-canonical ‘all the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batman’s cape, even as adults’ thing.

We also know that Danny ‘is LITERALLY a ghost’ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.

All I’m saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if you’d really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce ‘Brooding Instinct’ Wayne doesn’t even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before there’s a record scratch of ‘wait who tf is this?’ kicks in.

[glow-in-the-dark-death]

Do it for the Plot

~

I like the idea of Tim and Danny meeting and just clocking each other as little shits TM.

Just causing chaos to everyone in a way that can't really be traced back to them like 'Who? Me? I was busy doing all of these other things I have no idea how I would do that?'

Danny helps Tim get revenge on the bats for all the shit he's had to put up with and being absolute trolls about the whole thing *chefs kiss*

~

Tim&Danny dragging Ra's body

Damian: "Wha-?"

T&D: "No one will ever believe you"

Danny makes them go invisible

~

Bats: "Where ya going Tim?"

Tim holding back a cackle:" Oh, it's my anniversary so it's date night!"

Bats: "Anniversary?! We didn't know you were getting serious with someone?"

Tim: "Serious? He's my husband of course I'm serious about him"

Bats: "Wait hold on-!"

Tim: "Gotta go! Can't be late I have to make sure the babysitter has everything they'll need."

Bats: "BABYSITTER!?"

Tim: "Bye bye~!"

(They planned all of it including their 'fake marriage', Danny went back in time with the help of CW who is a troll at heart, and made the legal changes including Dan and Dani as their kids (their de-aged) otherwise someone (Oracle) would have eventually realized that the license is fake. So they went back in time and made it legitimately real)

~

Danny being Ghost King means that Tim is now also royalty

Tim walking up to John Constantine:" I have your entire soul"

and then just turning around and leaving

John very much felt the very strong Death Energy claiming Tim: "I don't want to be sober right now"

~

Earth about to be taken over for the 5th time that year by higher beings

Tim walking up late with coffee in his hand: "Leave or I'll call my husband"

Higher Beings very much not wanting to mess with the High King of the Infinite Realms: ᕕ( ᐕ )ᕗ

~

The Phantom family relaxing with cucumbers on their eyes and face masks: "Did you hear something?"

The Bats & Everyone else:

~

Just an Idea

[proxycrit]

(I point. Gently, in the voice of somebody who’s mind touched by the outer gods, i whisper truth in your ears:

Your honor the horses are now lesbians

(Anyways here’s the designs)

[thornycanary]

nice work, boyo!

[strongermonster]

one of the funniest news things in canada that always tickles me is the ongoing war between magic mushroom shops and the police.

this is the absolute height of humour to me right now

[shrub-jay]

Wes Weston: IRS.

Wes Weston is used to billionaires having sketchy finances. An offshore account here, and offshore account there-- A second home in a tax haven. He's never seen books like Wayne Enterprise's before.

"What even is BASE jumping? Why do they have a whole Applied Sciences department with only one guy working in it?" Wesley Weston had questions for Bruce Wayne. Questions he would get answered, if the billionaire was ever actually in his office. This was why he found himself rumbling up to the Wayne's well manicured, monoculture lawn in an only slightly questionable Uber.

"Wes Weston, IRS," he whispers, practicing under his breath before knocking on the door. "Wes Weston. IRS," he says more confidently, fumbling to get his badge out of his pocket. The door swung open, and he jumped. Goddamn rich people with their motion detecting doorbells.

"Dick Grayson, Blüdhaven P.D."

---

Wes Weston stood back from his cork board as rain pelted his hotel room window.

"Holy ghost. Bruce Wayne is the fucking Batman."

[arrgh-whatever]

Commissioned by @zone1act2

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 195

“Oh. It’s you.” 

The entity that had been summoned practically growled, a cloak like swirling galaxies- or was it swirling galaxies molded into a cloak- shimmering around their form. One pair of arms crossed over a chest where a star pulsed with the heartbeat of universes, alive yet dying as lazarus green eyes glowered down at the league and bats alike. 

“You know you could, fucking call, right?” they whined, aura of terror suddenly broken, unnatural fear torn away and leaving all of them wrong-footed and confused.

Well, apparently all of them except for Ras, who had an honest to fuck grin on his face, one that looks almost carefree, if a little feral. Nope. No thanks. Not this timeline-

“But phones didn’t exist last we spoke, ya ‘amar.” 

[maxedes]

someone probably said this before but another one of the very many reasons i‘ll never be normal about brocedes is that nico still supports lewis. like after all this. without a thought he still goes all in for him.

in saudi '22 after he already lost the wdc but nico still had faith about him winning the last race. this year in china when mercedes was still bad he still defended him and every other time he is commentating he wants him to do good. sometimes he is criticizing or offering advice almost but he is never mean about it.

his relationship with lewis going bad, turning into a pretty toxic rivalry (think about the strictly separate garages bc they were worried the other one would sabotage them) was one of the reasons he quit the sport (both weren‘t saints we know that so no one sided blame here).

so it would be so easy to be so petty on the literal international sports broadcast (we know he has no problem being a little sassy), making snide remarks whenever he can, being overall much more of a critic or even having a little schadenfreude when the mercedes stopped being the dominant car. but he doesn‘t do any of that. he still supports him. positive comments, defending him to other commentators and all

-just their whole dynamic is so wild. take any little details away & it would be so much less appealing. the wink after the silverstone interview,the yes, and teammate, the being unable to say each others name for years. all that is just insane

but after all it’s still watching the stars in greece. the war of the silver arrows. everything but a lover, in my heart he‘s still my best friend & nico still suppprts lewis

[sforzesco]

hey! hi! the cartoonist cooperative has an e-sim drive for gaza, offering art for e-sim donations (instructions etc in the link)

[that-weird-girl-in-the-back]

Will: Nico, what are you going as for Halloween?

Nico: Me and Hazel are doing one together. We're going as the only things inevitable in life.

Will: Pardon?

Hazel: Death *points to Nico* and Taxes *points at herself*

[the-bees-are-beeing]

European Athletics Championships, Pole vaulting 1st and 2nd Place,

🥇Armand Duplantis, 🥈Emmanouil Karalis

[butchharts]

throwback to when i climbed a mountain and proceeded to have an asthma attack after but at least I looked nice !

[p8driesta]

another view of the third goal 💙❤️

[shazzbaa]

DEATH AND TAX EVASION WAS SUCH A GOOD ES FOR SAM....... I got so invested in heckin Christian Rat Church so heres a bunch of church rats............... more specifics notes under the cut:

the rat church is dealing with a schism, so early on there's a chance to break up a fight and THIS IS JUST A RLY FUNNY MENTAL IMAGE TO ME.... SAM JUST GOES IN THERE AND STARTS PICKING UP RATS

A thing that's come up a few times in chats and rp with friends is that in order to not constantly feel crazy when verses he knows by heart change slightly in every edition, Samuel's kept his own Bible from the surface to refer to. With the rats specifically taking issue with St. Cyriac's edits, I really want to believe Sam got a moment to share older versions of these verses with the Layrat, before all the verses on death were changed to exclude rats....

IF YOU'RE CONNECTED TO FINGERKINGS then in Cheese Heaven the fingerkings specifically notice you're not a rat and only rats are supposed to be there -- instead of helping you leave, they just politely warn you that you'd better escape soon or else they'll have to turn you into a rat. RULES ARE RULES!! Thanks so much guys. I'm still losing my mind abt how much cheese heaven scrambled sam's brain.... just rly thought he was a rat for a bit there......

ALSO I HAVENT STOPPED THINKING ABT BEING ABLE TO HEAR THE LAYRAT PRAYING FOR YOU. I compared this ES early on to another ES I played a while back, All The Saints, where the Intrepid Deacon is sort of looking to you during a crisis of faith, and Sam worked hard to keep him un-tempted. But... for this one, Samuel was less sure, and uncertainly encouraged the Layrat to be willing to question what he grew up with, and to follow his heart on these strange new ratty religious ideas. But... this little rat was the one to keep faith and help him when Sam nearly forgot himself... I DONT KNOW MAN. IVE GOT EMOTIONS ABT RAT FAITH.