#Deadpool and Weasel

[qcomicsy]

Deadpool (2008) / No Children - The Mountain Goats / Deadpool (1997) / Unknowns / Cable & Deadpool (2004) / Cable & Deadpool (2004) / Twin Size Mattress - The Front Bottoms / Cable & Deadpool (2004)

[hemlock-dreams]

Hi. I don't know if this has been asked yet but what science is your Hunting!Spidey into?

He's got a(defunct now) Bachelors in Computer Science and is currently taking online courses for Biochemistry, and focusing on Toxicology.

[lil-playful-pup]

He's from where?

[icarusredwings]

Deadpool if it was a red string au:

Weasel: Man, I hope who ever is at the end of my string is hot.

Wade: Man, me too ahah- wait

Weasel: what?

Wade:...string??? As in.... one?

Weasel: uh... yeahhh??

Wade: *staring at his multiple, different colored strings, leading in all different directions* ..Shit.

[resident-idiot-simp]

Deadpool who gets overstimulated because of loud noises thanks to the ADHD

Is it projection time? I think it's projection time.

Wade who despite how much he hates it gets overstimulated because of loud noises sometimes. It's stupid he is a killing machine but it gets a touch too loud in a bar and suddenly he's shaking and can't breathe right. He doesn't hate himself for it he knows he can't help it but it's just something he wishes he could control.

Despite those wishes he can't so he just has to suffer with it. Usually he knows when it's about to happen and he can remove himself from the situation, but not always.

Weasel knew and would let him sit in one of the back rooms of the bar if it got particularly bad while he was there. It was appreciated but it still didn't stop it from happening sometimes.

He would have to leave and sequester himself for however long it took to get his breathing back under control and for him to stop shaking. Al knew and it was one of the few things she didn't give him shit about and he appreciated it.

He didn't know how to stop it or how to make it better he thought and figured he just had to wait it out. How else do you fix it? He didn't know. Vanessa too had known about it and helped him a lot she cared she really did and he would always love her for that.

Logan coming into his life was amazing and Wade couldn't help but get immediately attached. He hadn't had another, what would it called an episode? (Again he didn't know he wasn't a doctor.) Since Logan had started living with him.

It was too late by the time he admitted defeat and he was already shaking. Weasel looked at him and realized gesturing to the back room but he shook his head he needed out of there completely.

He slapped down a few hundred dollars and made a quick exit Logan following confused. As the door slammed shut he flinched. Logan immediately started asking what was wrong but all he did was shake his head. He didn't feel like explaining he just wanted quiet.

He found a near enough alleyway that was not the worst thing he's ever seen in his life and sequestered himself at the back of it. Logan at his side.

He started trying to get his breathing under control as he sat down against the wall trying to convince his brain to just calm down. Logan looked spooked and Wade couldn't blame him. This was severely out of character for him.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked and Wade croaked out, "Will be.”

Thankfully Logan took the hint and didn't try to push it further just sat down next to him and hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder. Wade immediately leaned into it seeking anything that would ground him.

Logan started talking about something random that has happened to him a few days ago. Wade could feel himself starting to relax and stated to lean further into Logan

Before Wade knew it Logan had an arm wrapped around him as Wade buried himself in Logan's side as he continued to tell stories. He'd never calmed down quicker.

Later Wade would explain what happened. Later Logan would gift him noise cancelling headphones and Wade would not cry thank you very much. Later Logan would check up on him more often, later Logan would learn to realize it was happening before even Wade did.

But that was later. Now, Wade found a place that was quiet and calm.

[farmhandler]

Idk if you’re still doing prompts but if you are would you consider doing Wade (with Logan) meeting up with weasel after a while and weasel doing his usual quips about Wade’s scars. & Wade tries to laugh it off and is like ‘lol good one’ but Logan is having NONE ❌of it

I am a sucker for protective Logan.... At least in movieverse I don't think Weasel would go out of his way to insult Wade if we're looking at a more grounded approach to their relationship, so here's my take on it!

Either unspecified established relationship or could take place in my series we're just going to say Logan is fine in a bar for this scene if so

---

"It's a bar," Logan said, at Wade's expectant look. "Seen a lot of 'em."

"It's not just any bar." Wade placed his hand on Logan's chest. "And you're not just any man. You're—"

"Holy shit, is that the Wolverine?"

Logan didn't even know what random shithead had spoken up. After over a year of living in this new world, he'd gotten over the glamor of being recognized as a hero and now he just wanted people to leave him the fuck alone when he was out.

"Fuck off," Logan said, loud enough to cut across the noise. They moved away from the entrance, and he followed Wade through the crowd of people, noting the way Wade's body language changed. It was interesting to watch the way the flair he threw into every action mostly evaporated. The patrons, too—they looked at Wade the way you looked at a viper: you hoped it didn't show its fangs.

Him wearing his mask probably helped, aided slightly by Logan's leather jacket sitting on his shoulders. He'd gone through an entire theatrical routine to get Logan to give his jacket to Wade because he was just 'too cold to survive even a second longer in this frozen hell'. It was nearly summer.

"Weasel, my man, how the fuck have you been?" Wade said loudly as soon as he sat down. Logan settled into the stool next to him, fiddling with a cigar. No smoking, but it felt good to hold.

“Wade,” the infamous Weasel greeted, turning around briefly to put away a couple glasses. “Haven’t seen you in a long while. You said you’d stop by.” Weasel glanced at Logan. “This the boyfriend?”

Weasel glanced at him again. Wade had talked a lot about Weasel. Sounded like an interesting character.

“Hey,” Logan greeted. “Wade’s talked a lot about you. Nice to meet you.”

“You, too, Wolverine. Mr. Wolverine?” Logan went to put his cigar in his mouth, and Weasel’s eyes drifted to his arms. “Wow, you are…very strong. You look strong.” Weasel blinked. “I mean that in the straightest way possible.”

“Uh huh,” Logan said.

“No hitting on Logan. He’s off-limits,” Wade said. He moved to pull off his mask. “But if you hit on me, please give it your best shot. I’ve been working my ass off trying to make Logan jealous and it hasn’t paid off yet. But I’m patient.”

“Wow,” Weasel said. “You haven’t been here in so long I forgot what you look like.”

Logan’s head snapped up from trying to read what someone had scratched into the surface of the bar as soon as those words left Weasel’s mouth. He looked at Wade to gauge his reaction, to see if he’d somehow misunderstood, but he looked shocked.

Not angry; just shocked. The look was there and then gone.

That was worse. Worse than Wade being angry was Wade being surprised into being hurt. To say Wade felt insecure about his appearance would’ve been an understatement. His current circle of friends would not have said a word about his scars—he didn’t know Weasel to know if this was usual for them.

Like it fucking mattered. To say that Logan’s hackles were raised would have been an even bigger understatement.

“What the fuck did you just say to him?” Logan said, pulling away his cigar and leaning forward. He curled his fist and slid it in front of him across the bar. “I think I misheard.”

Weasel blinked. “Uh—"

Wade barked a laugh that mirrored the look that had been on his face.

“Angel baby, calm down. Put the claws away. This is just our thing. It’s funny. Weasel, don’t listen to him.”

Weasel’s laugh was quick and a little nervous. Logan bit back his response, because as much as he was protective of Wade, this was Wade’s friend. He stuck his cigar back in his mouth and watched them.  

“I’m still me,” Wade said to Weasel. He shrugged. His fingers reached out to slip over the edge of his mask on the bartop, pulling it closer. “We haven’t had our banter in fucking ages. What would you do if you were me? Come on, hit me.”

Logan curled his fist tighter. He made sure to tell Wade at every opportunity he loved the way he looked, and they had worked so fucking hard to get to a point where Wade didn’t talk about smashing his face in every time he looked in a mirror.

“Well, if you insist.” Weasel shrugged. “If I looked the way you looked, I’d cover up every reflective surface. I’d smash them, so I couldn’t even be tempted.”

“Tried that one,” Wade said flippantly. “Logan just replaced them. I kind of miss the avocado comparison. Run that one by me again?”

Weasel turned around briefly to grab a few bottles. “Were they moldy, or just ugly?”

“Maybe both?”

Wade’s laugh was not a good laugh. He’d pulled his mask in his lap and kept fiddling with the velcro. Logan realized what was happening an instant after weasel started talking.

“You look like the baby of those two avocados came out ugly, only the ugly baby look never went away. The baby just grew up like that and everyone had to pretend it was normal until—"  

“All right, that’s it. I’ve heard enough,” Logan said. He pointed a finger at Weasel. “You do not fucking talk to Wade or about Wade like that. Period.”

“Sorry,” Weasel said immediately, raising his hands. “Didn’t mean to offend.”

“Logan—” Wade started.

“I don’t care what this is,” Logan interrupted. “I don’t care that you two have been friends for years or that this is some fucking game for the both of you. All I’m hearing is you telling my fucking boyfriend in front of my face things that aren’t true. There is nothing wrong with the way Wade looks. Wade is not ugly. Wade is beautiful, and you will apologize to him right fucking now.”

“Logan, it’s fine,” Wade said. “This is our thing. We used to talk like this all the time.” He nudged him. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“I—I really didn’t mean anything by it,” Weasel said. “Sorry.”

Logan turned to Wade. “You are not ugly, and I won’t fucking stand hearing it. Not from you, and especially not from anyone else. You think I don’t see how you’re—”

He cut himself off. Later. He’d save that for later.

“Whatever you two talk about on your own time, that’s not my business,” Logan continued. “But I’m not putting up with it while I’m here.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Christ.”

Wade was staring down at his mask now, holding it white-knuckled. The bar was packed and loud, and as far as Logan could tell, no one was really paying them any attention, thank fuck.

“Sorry,” Weasel said, sounding like he meant it. He nodded at Logan. “Shit, man…yeah, you're right, I'm—I'm sorry.”

“Is he?” Wade said, his voice unexpectedly quiet.

“Yeah. When we said all that shit, you thought…we thought you’d be able to fix it.” Weasel cast a glance at Logan, who raised his eyebrows. Weasel nodded at his glass. “The way you look is fine, Wade. You’re not ugly. Sorry I said all that.”

“Yeah.” Wade sighed. “I’m just me.”

Logan slipped his hand over Wade’s and squeezed. Wade squeezed back.

"Hey." Logan caught Wade's gaze. "You are perfect the way you are. In every way. I mean it."

Logan probably should have considered how this was Wade's usual haunt when he went in for a kiss, but if anyone cared, he was pretty certain the claws would convince them otherwise.

“Let’s talk about the fact that you clearly haven’t showered in a week,” Wade suddenly said to Weasel, leaning onto the bar. “Your hair’s usual straw-like quality means it holds all the grease incredibly well.”

“I’ve been busy,” Weasel said, hurrying to busy his hands and not look at either of them. They went back and forth like that, conversation moving to safer topics. Logan shifted his hand to Wade’s knee and held it there until they left.

[asaltysquid]

Posting because I doubt I'll finish this but uhhh stupid cringy thing from my boyfriend and I's X-Men/Deadpool college au

Also I'm Weasel's biggest fan 😔 his only power is his huge meaty brain but he goes to the same college as them don't question it.

[cannedloafs]

Havent posted in a hot minute, anyways here's bunny suit Wade 😋👍

I'll make a Logan version if this gets over like,, 10 likes

[randommmthoughts]

Appreciation post for all the wonderful people cooperating on Deadpool 1

[darthmasterchief]

Since Laura is trending, here’s the first art of her I had commissioned.

[kittaykattz]

people comparing logan to a cat is really funny bc a wolverine is in no way a cat

[marvelgifs]

DEADPOOL (2016) dir. Tim Miller

[thingsasbarcodes]

Deadpool 2 (2018)

[supermarvelgirl15]

I want to carry Bob around in my pocket

[icarusredwings]

Can't stop thinking about the scene where Wade takes Weasel to the strip club, and he's like, "How do you know she's here?"

Wade just says, "Cause i'm CONSTANTLY stalking that FOX," like damn, bro was NOT letting that kittycat get away from him that easily.

This leads me to also believe that he's so good at his job that he scopes out spots BEFORE the date of the mission.

That he would be a GREAT spy in the sense that not only can he hide his true emotions extremlt well so he wouldn't be amazing at devils advocate but this fucker is light on his feet. He's 6 foot 2 and still blends into the background when needed, and in the spotlight when he wants to be.

We all know that he couldn't sneak up on Logan since Logan has a wicked sense of smell, but I feel like if Wade ever had to give up Merc work (A COUGH COUGH COUGH like loosing his powers for what ever reason totally not foreshadowing COUGH COUGH COUGH damn I really gotta stop sucking dick so much-) he would be EXCELLENT at Narc work.

The only thing is he SUUUCCCKKKSS (literally and physically) at working for authority figures, so he would probably take up personal private detective cases. Snap pictures of people cheating, get a guy to confess to a crime on recording for a lawsuit, Track down missing persons probably.

But he would be bored. He would be incredibly bored. And a bored Wade is not a happy one. Infact a bored Wade is a DANGEROUS one. He NEEDS a job. A physical job. One that has strict end and strict beginings in which he can do quickly to get that rush of dopamine.

Stake outs that take 2 weeks is not a thrill.

Going to Japan and taking out the entire Yukuza IS infact a thrill. Job? Kill all of them. Done. Compelte.

He would need one that doesn't require blurred lines of completion. He thought that cars salesmen would be easy. You sell a car. You get paid. You go home. Boom. But no. Its more bullshit about being good at talking to civillians. Something he's not good at.

So- my question is.

What is a good job for Wade if he was forced out of merc work? Perhaps one he could do with Logan?

[dear-oizys]

Maybe I'm not on Tumblr enough because I have never seen a post talking about what Wade went through during the Weapon X (???? Is that right ??????) experiments in Deadpool 1. I just re-watched it a week ago and I can't stop thinking about it???

He was literally beaten all the time, fucking choked also cause I'm NOT believing that they let those restraints be even slightly comfortable.

He was water boarded multiple times in different ways and he was KEPT IN A FUCKING ICE FILLED BOX?????

They electrocuted him while keeping him tied to a METAL CAGE???

And I don't even want to talk about how they kept him in that chamber. FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND!!

I know that his childhood was a shit show and that he was also in Special Forces ( which is just another thing entirely ) but still wouldn't round the clock torture ( his words, not mine ) have some lasting effects on a person?

Just imagine Wade not being able to take a shower for days because everytime he feels the water on his face he's just back in that shitty warehouse gasping for the tiniest amount of oxygen in the seconds that his head was taken out of the water.

Just imagine him cutting off all the hems around his t shirt's neck and hands cause those feel like the restraints are back on him. Imagine him burning the one tie and the one dress shirt that he had because they feel too much like those straps which held him down and suffocated him.

Imagine Wade not being able to stay a second in the tub after it gets even slightly cold cause that reminds him of the time he spent freezing in the fucking ice box.

Imagine him being very careful around sockets in the house because he knows how being electrocuted feels and does NOT want to experience it again . Imagine him not fixing the bathroom door's lock which has been broken since he moved in but always making sure that all the sockets in the house work perfectly.

Imagine him being claustrophobic, and terrified of being anywhere near small spaces because it reminds him of being locked the chamber.

Just imagine Wade being traumatized by his life experiences but still powering through each day, hoping that no one notices because he doesn't want to be a burden. I mean why would he ruin other people's day by telling them about how he feels, when instead, he can just put on the mask and just act annoying and hope that no one looks past it.