#Date with disaster

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

OKAY IVE GOT A REALLY CHAOTIC IDEA THATS BEEN ROTATING IN MY BRAIN FOR AGES BRJDFIF

M6 sharing a living space - and I’m not talking one of Nadia’s palaces where they can avoid each other, but like, a tiny safe house or something like that

Imagine the chaos 😭

Vesuvia Weekly: A Date With Disaster

"So, it's settled, then." You stand up and dust off your hands. "We're ... going camping ... all seven of us ... together ... in one tent."

"It would seem so." Nadia looks down her nose at her tea in poorly concealed disgust. "I'll make a note to bring a fair amount of wine."

"Can you double that?" Asra asks from the floor. Muriel, sulking in the corner nearby, seems seconds away from breaking his characteristic silence to ask if the amount could be tripled.

"C'mon, Noddy, nobody likes a party pooper!" You can see the bead of sweat trickling down Lucio's temple, but you appreciate his skewed levels of optimism for once. Portia takes her cue from him.

"Yeah, this isn't all bad! We can bring snacks, and games, and - ooh! I call sleeping next to MC!"

"Pasha, noooo ~" You don't think you've ever heard Julian sound so whiny in your life, but nothing brings out someone's inner child like the person they grew up with. "I wanted to sleep next to MC."

"You can always take their other side -"

"I'm calling it." Asra grins smugly up from Nadia's carpet. The Countess in questions meets their eyes with a sly smirk.

"If I recall correctly, you and our darling MC have been sharing sleeping arrangements for the last several years at least. I shall occupy their other side."

Asra shrugs. "Fine. I'll be their pillow, then."

"WHAT -" Lucio screeches. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Muriel silently holding the door open for a speedy escape. The two of you slip out practically unnoticed, just as you catch the tail end of Julian's demands.

"In that case, I volunteer to keep their feet warm -"

You glance up at the silent shadow next to you as he guides you through the fastest route out of the Palace.

"Did you have any requests?"

"Me?" He looks down at you in surprise, and then turns away with a pout. "No. I'll be sleeping across the door."

You laugh. "So you can be the first to escape?"

He shakes his head as you part ways. "So I can keep guard."

Well, you think, here goes our date with disaster -

----------------------------------------

Notable highlights of the trip:

Lucio figured out how to grill meat over the fire on his metal hand. He did not figure out how to wash the residue off

Everyone discovered Julian's fear of the dark as soon as Nadia turned off the last lantern and he immediately latched onto your feet, causing you to reflexively kick out and accidentally igniting a short, tent-wide wrestling match

Portia brought so much homemade food you were almost tempted to stay an extra day and finish it all. You did not.

Nadia's insomnia made a fierce comeback as soon as she was sleeping in a flimsy bag with cloth for walls and uneven ground underneath. She was very grumpy and uncharacteristically disheveled in the morning

Muriel accidentally stumbled on a lost baby squirrel, which promptly imprinted on him and followed him around everywhere. Portia and Lucio both threw whining fits when he couldn't force it to like them or willingly sit in their hands

Asra "accidentally" tripped Lucio right next to a cold, muddy spring and then so happened to have a change of clothes in his size - which is to say, an adult-sized goat onesie. They also had onesies for everyone else, including a puppy one for you!

[vesuviaweekly]

Vesuvia Weekly: Prompt for September 4th - 18th

You voted, so here it is!

A Date with Disaster

With that, the "Sleepy Mumblings" prompt is officially closed!

The tags are the usual #vesuvia weekly and for this specific prompt, #date with disaster. The masterlist for all works submitted for this prompt will be under the poll for next week :D

MASTERLIST

"On Death's Door" by @taduki

A Rowdy Raven and a Daring Dog by @e1i-neverrests

A Date with Disaster by @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia

A Date with Disaster by @sweetestlittledarling

Date with Disaster by @mermaidchan05

[sweetestlittledarling]

A Date With Disaster

Rating: PG ish

Warnings: Talk of past bulling around gender (Nothing too extreme I just didn't want to trigger anyone).

Summary: One Heartsong Day Festival, Lark remembers a bully.

Note: Written for @vesuviaweekly's prompt, 'Date with Disaster'

“How you hanging in there big guy?”

              Muriel let out a non-committal sound as he continued to lean against the back wall took another drink of his black maid. He had come a long way since his days of being a complete hermit, but he wouldn’t say he was completely ready to be amongst the ‘city folk’ either, still more often than not enjoying the solitude of the woods over the noisy city streets. His partner, Lark, however, was much more a sociable kind of bird. He had many skills that Muriel clearly lacked, like keeping up a conversation or dancing without falling over his own feet. He was also very good at convincing Muriel to get outside his comfort zone once and a while, like going to Nadia’s Heartsong day party (even if Muriel still spent a good chunk of his time keeping to the quiet parts of the room and only allowing Lark to pull him into a few dances). He couldn’t help smiling a little as Lark leaned against him, head resting on his bicep.

              “I got to say I’m happy you came with me,” Lark mused, “I think it’s a better party with you here.”

              Out of the corner of his eye Muriel could see the gentle smile on Lark’s face and knew it to be a good one. Lark had the habit of putting on a show for other people, but Muriel was always happy to see when Lark was actually content. “I am glad I came to,” he admitted.

              “Even when you have to be in same room with Julian all night?”

              Muriel couldn’t help the roll of his eyes. Though he had come to accept the doctor’s involvement in their lives (especially given that he was currently engaged to Lark’s twin sister which kind of bonded the four of them for life it would seem), he still had yet to fully understand or accept the man as a person. Julian was a loud giraffe of a man who Muriel could only take in small doses at times. Still, he could put up with it for a bit, at least for Lark’s sake. “As long as he doesn’t try to get me to dance again, we’ll be just fine.”

              Lark laughed as he slipped his hand into Muriel’s. “Don’t worry, if he tries to, I’ll sick Sparrow on him as a distraction.”

              Muriel gave Lark’s hand a little squeeze as he smiled again. He really did like Sparrow, she was like a calmer cattier Lark.

              “Is that one of the songbirds I spy?” an elderly voice said from nearby.

              “Good evening Mrs. Bander,” Lark said. Muriel couldn’t help but notice how Lark stood a little straighter and his smile grew a little brighter as he addressed the old lady. Clearly a client of the magic shop.

              Mrs. Bander smiled at them in return, fixing her glasses on her face to get a good look at them. “It’s good to see you both out and about on this holiday, especially you Muriel! I’m glad Lark managed to get you come celebrate with us.”

              Muriel nodded in answer, knowing full well that if he hadn’t wanted to come Lark would have respected that. Lark didn’t force Muriel to go anywhere, which was an important part of their relationship. Lark squeezed his hand in a sign Muriel took to be support.

              “Muriel is here because he wanted to come,” Lark explained, “he’s not exactly the social butterfly but he likes to be out amongst his friends from time to time. Though I’m thinking it’s almost time for us to head home before we turn into pumpkins.”

              Muriel couldn’t help but snort at the idea.

              “Aw, that’s too bad,” Bander said, again shifting her glasses with an old shaky hand, “I can’t remember the last time I saw you with a date at one of these functions Lark.”

              “Well dating was more of Sparrow’s kind of thing really. I just enjoy the party.”

              “Indeed, your sister always had quite a full dance card. Though I do remember there being one young lady, what was her name? Alice?”

              At the mention of the name, Muriel felt Lark tense, his grip on Muriel’s bigger hand growing tight. Muriel frowned as Lark’s smile was no longer happy. Lark had never mentioned Alice before, and Muriel was starting to suspect there was a reason why.

              “Yeah, Alice and I dated a while ago,” Lark said, his voice wavering very faintly though Muriel was able to detect it. “I think she and her family moved away though.”

              “Oh yes, now I remember! You had some trouble with her brother, didn’t you? He had a name starting with the letter M. Now what was it?”

              “Malcolm,” Lark answered, his smile quickly fading as Muriel could see the distinct signs of a body in fight or flight mode. The reaction to the name Alice had been hard but this one was worse. He was about to step in when the Bander spoke again.

              “Malcolm! Right! I remember that funny little nickname he used to call you! It was Larky!”

              Lark’s eyes grew wide as his entire body seemed to freeze. His breathing became quicker as he let go of Muriel’s hand, back towards the nearby doors like a scared deer. Muriel’s mind and heart told him to do something, but he was in shock, never having seen Lark react like this. Usually, the younger man could brush off anything but this- “I…I have…I have to go, excuse me!” Lark stammered before darting out the door.

              “Was it something I said?” Bander asked.

              Muriel didn’t answer as he was moving quickly after his partner. The doors in      question led out the patio overlooking the garden, and in Muriel’s mind he was in a state of panic. He had rarely seen such a reaction from Lark and in all honesty, it scared him. What could make Lark so upset? Why hadn’t Lark stayed with him? The questions rolled around in his head as he searched around the long patio until, in a shady corner in the far back, Muriel spotted the smaller man. Lark was seated with his knees against his chest, his face hidden from view. The sight of him made Muriel’s heart ache but Muriel had to take a moment before approaching to calm himself. He took a deep breath, knowing if he walked over in panic, then he would be no help. He still felt bad, but Lark needed calm. Once he had taken a few deep breaths he walked over, saying nothing as he sat next to Lark, close enough to let Lark know he was there but far enough for the younger man to have space. Muriel put his hand beside Lark, palm up as an invitation. It took a bit but then Lark sighed and laid his hand in Muriel’s.

              “I’m sorry,” the songbird sighed.

              “You don’t have to apologize for being upset.”

              “But I thought…” Lark sighed again as he lifted his head, showing Muriel his wet eyes. “I thought I was over it. I thought I had moved on. I thought he couldn’t’ t get to me anymore.” Lark scoffed in annoyance. “He’s not even here and he still makes me feel like this!”

              “Malcolm?” The clear flinch that followed answered Muriel’s               question better than any words. He opened his arms, again saying nothing but Lark seemed to understand as minutes later he slipped into them, pressed up against Muriel’s said, one hand still holding onto Muriel’s. For a moment they just sat there, both safe in the shadows of the moonlit garden. Muriel gave Lark time before he spoke. “You don’t have to tell me, but if you want to, I am here.”

              Lark sniffled a little. “I know. It happened a long time ago, about the time I was deciding about how I was going to present myself. I mean gender wise. I had just figured out how I wanted to cut my hair and how I wanted to dress, and I was actually starting to feel confident. I was feeling more like myself. In that time, I met Alice, a nice girl who worked at a café.” Lark couldn’t help the little smile. “You probably would have liked her. She was a funny, gentle, and great cook. She was my first girlfriend and my last really.”

              “She sounds…nice,” Muriel agreed with a nod.

              “Yeah, but she had this brother, Malcolm.” Lark shivered at the mention of his name and Muriel pulled him in closer. “He was a jerk! That’s probably too nice a word but the other ones I can think of aren’t exactly appropriate.”

              Muriel nodded, thinking of a few choice names of his own.

              “He made my teenage life horrible! He was the worst bully I ever had! He figured out all my insecurities and used them all against me, including my gender. He even gave me that horrible nickname, Larky. I hate that name! I hate it!”

              “It’s okay,” Muriel assured him, leaning his head on top of Lark’s. “No one will call you that again.”

              “Yeah, that’s what Sparrow said as well, after she punched him in the nose.”

              “Sparrow punched him?”

              Lark laughed a little as he nodded. “Yeah, the only guy she ever knocked flat. She was so mad when she found out what Malcolm was doing that, she marched right up to him and punched him. No bully ever tried to pick on me after that one.”

              Muriel smiled. Yep, he definitely liked Sparrow.

              “Hey,” Lark said as lifted his head from Muriel’s shoulder, his gentle smile returning, “Thank you for listening. I guess I wasn’t over all this as I thought I was.”

              “You know you never have to hide being sad from anyone, especially me.”

              “Yeah, I know. And now that it’s really out in the open I think it will be easier to confess with this stuff really bugs me, especially when I have you here to listen.”

              “Always,” Muriel said, kissing Lark’s head gently.

              They remained there, just sitting and enjoying each other’s company for a long moment before Lark untangled himself. Standing he held out his hand to Muriel with a smile. “I’m feeling a little partied out, how about we go home and make some tea.”

              Muriel smiled a bit more. “Sounds good to me.”

…

Author Notes:

-I confess I wrote this one a couple of times, including when I was not feeling well so I hope it came out okay

-Originally, I was going to write this about Sparrow and her dating history, but I was still coming up with the long list (having a laugh as I thought about a Scott Pilgrim AU).

-I have always debated about Lark calling Muriel ‘Big Guy’, but I think that Lark is the only one allowed to call him that. Of course, if Lark were asked to stop he would. Note anyone who knows Lark does not call him Larky (ever).

-I had a version of this where Malcolm actually appeared but it did not work quite right. It did have a funny scene of him becoming scared of Sparrow, however. Malcolm is the only person Sparrow has knocked out completely with one punch, gaining her the moniker ‘Guard Dog’ which she has mixed feelings about.

-I like to think that Muriel does like Julian, they are just very different people and sometimes just rub each other the wrong way (more so in Muriel’s case).

[mermaidchan05]

Vesuvia Weekly: Date with Disaster

This... got away from me lol.

Julian is all set to go on a date with Damian. But something is making him decidedly more anxious than he should be...

Featuring Julian, my apprentice Damian, Damian's familiar Oswald the bat, and some brief appearances by Asra and Faust.

Almost 3000 words, content warning for anxiety and claustrophobia, just in case. Don't worry, everything turns out just fine! :)

_____________

It was really a rather simple date, considering how long it had taken Julian and Damian to plan. But that didn’t stop Julian from being nearly beside himself with nerves.

He should have been excited. It was finally time for Julian to prepare for that romantic picnic that he had promised Damian over a month ago. And then they would be off, spending a glorious night out on the town. Julian had plans. Secret plans. Plans that he couldn’t wait to surprise Damian with.

But for now, Julian was rushing around the little room above the shop, tripping over trinkets as he snatched up the last few things he needed.

Asra, who had promised to take care of things at the shop while he and Damian were out, watched with a raised eyebrow.

“Trying to wear a hole in the floor, Ilya?” Asra teased.

“Asra, as much as I enjoy our banter, this isn’t the time,” Julian called frantically over his shoulder. “Where is it, where is it, I told Damian I would pack a lantern, and I can’t do that if I can’t—?

“Did you mean the lantern on the shelf?” said Asra.

Julian ignored Asra’s playful smirk and looked at the shelf. Which was a very obvious place for a lantern to be. Of course, it was right there. In plain sight. Julian sighed and grabbed the lantern, carefully shoving it amongst his ever-growing pile of picnic supplies.

Asra’s smile slipped away. “Ilya? Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong!” Julian burst out. “Everything is fine. Tonight is going to be perfect.”

Asra hummed thoughtfully. “Of course. Then I’m sure you have a reason for packing one of Damian’s old Masquerade masks.”

Julian froze. He stared at the mask in his hand. He hadn’t even noticed what he had been grabbing. He felt his face heat up.

“It’s, uh… that’s not for the picnic,” he said. “It’s for later. Tonight. We’ll be going dancing, you know.”

Asra raised an eyebrow. It was clear that even Faust, hiding in Asra’s outfit as usual, completely doubted every word Julian said.  

Julian gave up. He put the mask down with a sigh.

“I… sorry,” he said. “I’m nervous. I admit.”

“I noticed,” Asra quipped. “But this seems a bit… more nervous than usual.”

“Yes, Asra, thank you for your observation.” Julian sighed again. “I can’t help it. I must be going mad from the stress of work.”

Asra’s eyebrows crept higher. “What makes you say that?”

“It’s the lack of sleep, I’m sure of it,” said Julian. “Usual Devorak nonsense, isn’t it? Or just… doctor nonsense. Always excellent at providing care, but the worst patient… hard, though, to get a good eight hours—or even a halfway decent five—when the past three nights came up with nothing but nightmares. And they only get worse, of course. Just my… luck…”

He winced. He hadn’t meant to say any of that out loud.

“Nightmares?” Asra repeated. “And the time frame seems… specific. It’s not… has anything happened recently?”

It took Julian a second to realize what Asra meant. “What? No. No, no, no, it’s nothing like that. Nothing’s happened. Everyone’s perfectly fine. Thriving, even. And we’re nowhere near any, ah, anniversaries.”

Asra nodded. It was good to know—and to admit—that no part of Julian’s sordid past was coming back to haunt him. Not at the moment, anyway.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Julian went on. “Stress. That’s all.”

He thought he had managed to successfully brush it off. Then Asra’s eyes flashed.

“Damian’s been giving you magic lessons, hasn’t he?”

Julian stopped short. “He… well, yes, but what does that have to do with—?”

“Have these nightmares been about anything specific?” Asra asked.

“Nnnoooot particularly,” said Julian, frowning in thought. “Just general foreboding. You know me. Once a thespian, always a… wait.” He let out a nervous laugh. “Wait, you can’t be serious. You don’t really think this all means something, do you?”

“The veil between the mortal and magical realms grow even thinner in dreams,” said Asra. “You’ve seen it yourself, Ilya. You may not have been able to reach the Hanged Man otherwise.”

Julian ran a hand through his hair. “That’s… uh, well, that’s true, but… I don’t know… mystic dream veils sound a bit…”

Asra didn’t let him finish his awkward attempt at waving that thought aside. “Ilya. Dreams like that—particularly repeated dreams—can be considered warnings. And you’ve been opening yourself up to magic lately.”

“You can thank Damian for that,” said Julian with another awkward chuckle.

Asra was far from distracted. “Ilya, please. This could be serious.”

Julian shut up.

“If the dreams have been getting worse the past few days, and came to a head last night… it might mean some kind of danger is approaching. And approaching quickly.” Asra frowned in thought again. Then: “Ilya. Tell me. What is the worst possible thing you can imagine happening during your date tonight?”

For a split second, Julian wanted to argue. A bunch of nightmares couldn’t possibly mean all that. It didn’t make sense.

But if anyone knew the ins and outs of weird magic visions, it was Asra. And if something bad really was on its way, Julian didn’t want to put anyone at risk.

He had to take this seriously. Just in case.

Julian thought about it for a moment. Of course, he had already considered the hundreds of things that could go wrong on a date like this. But those were all small issues. Forgetting one of the ingredients, tripping over something on the way to their picnic spot and spilling everything, not getting to see absolutely everything they wanted to see, Damian falling into another barrel… those were fixable. Minor. Things they would laugh about later. None of it warranted a sense of impending doom.

Except, perhaps, for one thing…

“The worst thing I can imagine…” Julian said slowly. “Well, I suppose the worst thing I can picture is something bad happening to…”

He trailed off. Asra’s eyes had widened again. Julian shot to his feet.

“Damian,” he gasped.

Julian didn’t waste any more time. If something bad was going to happen to Damian—or maybe already had happened—then he needed to find him. Fast.

He knew Damian was in the forest, stocking up on some ingredients to help restock the shop. So that was exactly where Julian headed.

His fears were only confirmed when Damian’s familiar, trust little Oswald the bat, collided with Julian before he even set foot in the wood.

Damian never traveled anywhere without his familiar. Oswald was his constant companion. If they had been separated, then something was very, very wrong.

Oswald bounced off of Julian’s chest, landing in his waiting hands. Julian hastily checked him over. The little bat looked distinctly ruffled.

“Oswald, what happened?” Julian asked frantically. “Where’s Damian?”

Of course, Julian couldn’t understand Oswald. Not the way Damian could. But the sound the bat made was unmistakably one of alarm. Oswald hastily took to the air again. He flapped a circle around Julian’s head. Then he zipped off, flying deeper into the forest.

Julian immediately followed.

------------------

Damian tried to keep his breathing steady. It didn’t work. Gods, he never should have gone back here. He knew the caves in the forest could be dangerous. And of course the recent heavy rain would have caused problems.

He’d been so foolish. He’d thought he knew the paths well enough. He thought he could handle any magical trouble that might come his way. He’d thought that the rare and highly useful nettles that grew in this particular little cavern would have worth whatever risk there might have been.

Not this. It wasn’t worth this.

Damian couldn’t stop his mind from reeling. From berating himself over and over as the panic took over. He should have paid attention. He knew the signs of a landslide—or dirt-slide in this case. He knew that any rocks and rubble perched on top of the caves were a bad omen.

But he’d notice too late. It wasn’t until he heard the rumble. Until he saw the cavern grow dark.

Oswald had just managed to slip out before the cavern entrance was completely sealed off. Now Damian was stuck. In a space that was far too small. And felt smaller and smaller every second. He couldn’t see. He was too panicked to breathe. Any thought of using magic had completely left his mind. All he could do was scrabble against the rocks that kept him trapped. He cried out desperately, hoping someone, anyone would hear him.

At last, someone did.

“Damian? Damian, love, where are you?!”

Hope rushed through him. Damian pressed himself even closer to the rocks. He privately thanked all the gods that Julian could be very loud when he needed to.

“Julian!” he shouted. “Julian, I’m here!”

For a brief moment, he was terrified that Julian hadn’t heard. But at last, a response. Julian called his name again.

“I’m here!” Damian called again, hopefully for the last time. “I was an idiot, there was a landslide, and—”

“It’s alright!” Julian shouted. “It’s going to be alright. Are you hurt?”

“N-no,” said Damian. “I’m fine. Just… just get me out of here, please.”

It wasn’t fully the truth. He was a little scraped up, thanks to making sure Oswald got out. But he wasn’t worried about that. Not when he was stuck here, with no light, with stone all around him… 

“Alright.” Julian’s voice, though still loud, was still wonderfully reassuring. “Just try to stay calm, love. We’ll get you out of this, not to worry. Just need to find the right…”

His voice faded into incomprehensible mumbles. Damian started to hyperventilate again. He could almost feel the cave walls pressing in on him. And the sound of Julian trying to find a good way to dig him out did not help. Not when Damian had spent so long trying to dig himself out, just for it to end in vain…  

Then Julian cried out in triumph. “Found it! Damian, darling, step back a bit, if you can. And keep your face covered.”

Step back? In this impossibly small space? There was no back to go to, he could reach out and hit the wall.

On sheer nervous instinct, his arm flailed out at that exact thought. The walls next to him were certainly close. Enough for him to bang his upper arm. But there was nothing behind him. Not that he could touch, anyway.

It had to be enough space.

He stepped backwards. Once. Twice. Then, on the third step, his back hit the rock wall. Damian’s breath caught in his throat.

“Damian?” Julian called. “Are you ready? Is everything alright?”

Absolutely no part of this was alright. But he had to get out.

“Ready!” Damian called, trying to keep his voice steady.

If Julian gave a verbal reply, Damian didn’t hear it. But he did hear the shifting of rock. Loud enough to make Damian wince. If something went wrong, if the lost even more space…

The world rumbled. The debris covering the entrance to the little cavern shifted. Damian’s arms flew upwards, covering his face of their own accord. He heard a horrible sound: all the rocks crumbling to the ground. A burst of fresh air rippled through his hair.

“Damian!”

Julian’s voice. Gods, Damian had never been so glad to hear it.

He immediately opened his eyes… and blinked against the sudden light. That didn’t stop him from dashing out of the cavern as fast as his legs could carry him. He collided with Julian, his feet nearly flying out from under him as he stumbled over the rubble. Julian scooped him up. He pulled Damian as far away from the cavern as he could in the split second before Damian’s legs gave out completely.

Damian was breathing heavily. He buried his face against Julian’s shoulder. Julian held him gently, rubbing calming circles on his back.

It took a long moment for Damian to catch his breath. To stop shaking. And even then, he didn’t lift his head from Julian’s shoulder just yet.

“Gods,” he mumbled. “I hate it when I get like that…”

“Get like what, love?” said Julian, his tone still soothing.

“I… I completely lost it,” Damian admitted. “I didn’t even think about using magic…”

Julian stopped patting Damian’s back. He froze in total surprise. Damian smiled sarcastically, even though he knew Julian couldn’t see it.

“Claustrophobia sucks,” he said. “I don’t recommend it.”

Julian stayed frozen for another heartbeat. Then he laughed. Gods, what a glorious sound.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Julian gently kissed the top of Damian’s head. “But you know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, don’t you?”

Damian mumbled into Julian’s shoulder again, a noncommittal noise. Then he finally lifted his head.

“How did you find me?” he asked. “Oswald?”

Oswald made a soft noise at them from his upside-down perch on the nearest tree.  

Julian went slightly pink. “Ah… well, yes, sort of. Oswald found me, really. But there’s a bit more to it than that.”

Damian gave him an expectant sort of look. So Julian told him everything. About the nightmares that he had refused to talk about for the past three days. About Asra figuring out that it might have been some kind of prediction. Talking about it made Julian look just as nervous and shaky as Damian had felt only moments ago. Now Damian was the one holding Julian steady.

“Hey,  Julian, it’s alright,” Damian said gently. “I’m sorry for worrying you so much.”

“I’m sorry you were caught up in all that,” said Julian. “If I had been there with you—”

“You still wouldn’t have been able to talk me out of going into that cavern,” Damian said with a little smile. “I had my heart set on those nettles.”

Julian’s eyes widened. “Nettles? That’s what all this was about?”

“Yes,” said Damian, unashamed. “Rare nettles with very valuable magical properties. You understand. I know you’ve done some dangerous things to acquire some of your medical supplies.”

“I… can’t argue with that,” said Julian, sounding very much like he wanted to argue with that. “But Damian, my love… we need to be careful. Especially around magic.”

Damian raised an eyebrow. “Is that what’s bothering you? The magic part of it?”

“I, uh… no?” said Julian. “Maybe? I don’t mind that you’re looking for supplies for your shop, love, of course I don’t, I only—”

Then, finally, Damian understood. “Julian… are you upset at yourself for not listening to your dream? For not trusting your magical instincts?”

“I didn’t even know they were magical instincts,” Julian said guiltily. “I never even thought to question them. Or, uh, to tell anyone about them, really. And thanks to that, I completely ruined our date.”

Damian couldn’t help it. He laughed.

“Julian, you did not ruin our date. You did the opposite, really.”

Julian stared at him, dumbfounded. “I… but, darling, that’s… uh…”

“You just heroically dashed to my rescue,” said Damian. “I can’t imagine anything more romantic than that. What better way to start a picnic? It’s like something out of those plays you’re so fond of.”

Julian looked taken aback for a moment. Then he started laughing, too.

“You’re just as fond of them as I am, love,” he said.

“I don’t think it’s physically possible for anyone to love theater as much as you do,” Damian said playfully.

“Touché,” Julian chuckled. “And speaking of theater… I have a surprise for you later.”

“Sounds wonderful,” said Damian. He wasn’t particularly surprised. But he would let Julian have his moment. He earned it. “Why don’t we start on that picnic first?”

Julian flushed. “Well, ah… there is a reason for that…”

“You left the basket in the shop, didn’t you?”

“I was worried about you!” Julian protested. “I didn’t have time to think about something like—”

He was quickly silenced when Damian caught his lips in a kiss. Damian smiled playfully at him as he pulled away. Julian was too stunned to respond.

“Come on,” said Damian. “Let’s go back together and pick everything up. We should tell Asra what happened, too. I’m sure he’s worried by now.”

“Probably,” Julian admitted.

They went back to the shop hand in hand… and quite possibly sticking a little more closely together than they normally did. Anything to make each other feel better.

Oswald, for his part, seemed very happy to be dropped off under Asra’s care after everything was said and done. He didn’t want to get involved with all the mushiness that was bound to happen during their date.

And it was quite mushy. But that was exactly what Julian and Damian had been looking forward to all this time.

[e1i-neverrests]

A Rowdy Raven And A Daring Dog

A silly lighthearted drabble for Vesuvia Weekly prompt “Date With Disaster” featuring Lys, Julian, and a little bit of Asra! Takes place post-main game. Alternatively titled “Two idiots walk into a bar”

A/N: The date itself was platonic, because who doesn't like taking your friends out for a few drinks? (I wouldn't know, I'm not allowed to drink yet)

May get a drawing, we’ll have to see

“What in the world happened to you two?” Asra asks in utter bafflement at the state of his friend and lover, the latter being unceremoniously dropped from the former’s arms and onto the doorstep. One is covered in dirt, the other sustaining a few bruises, and both entirely too drunk.

“Nothing the palace can prove!” Julian pipes up just a bit too loud, his usual roguish grin more askew than it ought to be. The sober magician just stares incredulously. “Is that meant to be reassuring..?”

“No no no, here, if you really want to know, it all starts,,, okay, just- just listen- it all…” The other magician interjecting from his spot on the floor, trailing off as he tries to support himself against the doorframe and hauling himself upright.

Julian interjects Lys’ interjection with his own less slurred speech, jumping into his explanation. “What he means to say is it all started earlier this very eve!”

[OooOoo flashback SFX]

Lys and Julian enter the Rowdy Raven, a sea of unfamiliar and unfriendly faces swivel towards them. Immediately, a pair of dastardly ne'er do wells come up and-

“That’s not what happened, don't listen to him!” Lys sways on his feet, now holding onto the Doctor instead of the door. He pats his hand on the taller man's cheek. “This… This malpracticing fiend embellishes far too much. Here, let- lemme tell you instead!” “Hey, I do not commit malpractice!”

[oOoooO more flashback SFX]

The two walk into the Rowdy Raven, a few of the regulars immediately recognising Julian. They beckon the pair over, immediately posing a challenge. “20 coins says the short one drinks you under the table!” “I'll bet 5 on the magician!” “No way, Devorak will win for sure! 50 coins!”

Never one to back down from a friendly competition, Lys is happy to take the bet. Julian, confident in his own abilities, is also on-board. Soon the whole tavern is circled around the bar, bets placed and breaths held. The count-down begins, and they're off!

“None other than yours truly came out victorious.” Julian beams, as though this were an achievement to be proud of. “Uh huh, but at what cost?” Lys cuts in, snickering. “People were upset I lost —apparently a lot of them bet on me?— so a fight broke out.”

“Those fiends attacked me for winning! The scoundrels! Dare I say… The audacity!” The doctor brings a hand to his chest, turning his head away as if he couldn't bear the memory of it.“That part is true, mhm. Buut, dear Devorak here forgot the most important part where-”

“Where a dashing magician swooped to my rescue!” Julian interrupts, his eye somehow sparkling at the heroic memory. The magician in question just rolls his eyes. “I… Well, I guess, technically yes. But after that, I was having trouble walking and fell, but we… we’re- were being chased, so he picked me up, and, well, uh, here we are!”

Asra cannot believe what they've heard. Actually, no, they entirely believe it, they just wish they didn't. But it sounds like they had fun, and that's what matters most. “So long as you're both okay now. Just… Remind me to never let you two go unsupervised for too long.”

Faust pokes her head out from Asra's collar, leveling herself with Julian. Squeeze? She tilts her head in request. Except, as soon as he sees her purple snake self, he's backing away from the door and out of Lys' reach. Which does cause the shorter man to stumble with his main support being yanked away

“I believe that's my cue! Farewell, friends!” The drunken doctor bows dramatically as he walks backwards away from the shop, nearly tripping over himself in the process. He slips off into the night with as much grace as he can muster. The two magicians and one familiar watch him go with amusement.

“Bye bye Julian!!” Lys waves him off, then turns to his white haired companion, currently holding him upright. “And… Hello you.”

“Hello to you too, sweetheart. Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?”

[guinevereslancelot]

[xxcrystalinerose]

Gotta love how Zag's love interests are 1) The punisher of jealousy and oathbreakers, 2) Peaceful Death, and 3) Cute gorgon head maid who's a total sweetheart

While Mel's (possible) love interests are 1) Divine Retribution, punisher of hubris, 2) Doom (feared and hated by all mankind), 3) Strife (Greek pantheon's #1 troublemaker), and 4) Two mortals whose whole life story is a cautionary tale about hubris.

All the while unlike Zag, Mel's implied to have never had a romantic relationship before as an adult, based on her Aphrodite boon dialogues (to me, her and Icarus screams "childhood puppy love", which doesn't actually count as true relationship experience).

Girlie I think you need to get therapy or get laid. Preferably both. And soon.

...

I do think it's cute that at least between Meg/Than and Nem/Moros, both women are deliverers of punishment, while both men are embodiments of concepts that will inevitably arrive at the end of mortal lives. Dusa and Icarus + Arachne also fit the mold of "sweetheart dealing with power dynamics issues" (prince/servant vs. goddess/mortal, in Arachne's case a mortal maligned by gods).

Zagreus and Melinoë may have never known each other, but they somehow have the exact same bisexual taste, which is very important to me.

Also proof that they're DEFINITELY Persephone's children: got their mother's taste for tall big tiddy goths lmao.

[sadcoms]

the doctor and rose were dating confirmed: shooting scripts edition

bonus: jackie tyler being the doctor’s mother-in-law

[icaruspendragon]

my husband and i started dating almost six years ago and our anniversary is coming up so i was looking through texts from when we first started seeing each other and jfk i'm just now realizing he was flirting with me and i simply did not realize that’s what was happening.

he'd say something like "aren’t you just the sweetest thing" and i'd respond with some shit like "that's nice of you to say. i have a deeply ingrained borderline pathological need to be liked and also to make other people happy so it's good to know i'm succeeding in that."

[flwrkid14]

The Tim Drake Heartthrob Conspiracy – Part 2: A Heartthrob with Loser Rizz

So, Tim Drake is Gotham’s newest heartthrob. Cool, right? Except, well… there’s one tiny problem.

For all the brooding good looks, the sharp jawline, and that mysterious allure that has Gotham swooning, Tim Drake has absolutely no game. Like, zero. Nada. It’s a full-blown mystery how this man, who looks like he belongs on magazine covers, can be such a disaster in the romance department.

It all started with his date after that iconic moment when he rolled into the Batcave in that tailored suit. Everyone expected the night to go smoothly. It was Tim, after all—Mr. CEO, Mr. I-Can-Run-A-Multi-Billion-Dollar-Company. Surely, that would translate to his love life, right?

Wrong.

The next morning, Dick was the first to catch Tim yawning over his third cup of coffee. “Rough night?” he asked with a knowing smirk.

Tim just groaned, “I fell asleep on the rollercoaster.”

Dick blinked. “Wait, you fell asleep? On the rollercoaster?”

Tim sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I hadn’t slept in two days, and it was… kinda relaxing? The adrenaline and all.”

And that was just the beginning.

Steph found out later that Tim had somehow managed to spill soda on his date twice—once while trying to explain a complicated merger (because who doesn’t love business talk on a date?) and then again when he tripped over his own chair. By the end of the night, his date probably thought she was being pranked.

Cass, being Cass, summed it up perfectly: “Tim is Gotham’s biggest heartthrob, but he’s also Gotham’s most awkward date.”

Jason, of course, had to weigh in. “This is the same guy who walked into a glass door because he was distracted by a text.”

Let’s not forget the infamous “flower shop incident.” Tim, trying to be romantic, went to pick up flowers before another date, but things quickly went south. How? Well, let’s just say, when you knock over five vases, trip into a display of roses, and end up covered in petals, it’s hard to look suave.

By the time the Batfam heard about that little misadventure, Damian had had enough. “Drake, how is it that you have the charisma of a plank of wood?”

Still, Tim doesn’t mean to be such a disaster. It’s just, well, life seems to have it out for him when he’s trying to impress someone. He once spent an entire dinner talking about the intricacies of encryption algorithms—his date didn’t even make it to dessert. And don’t even mention the time he thought bringing homemade spreadsheets to a movie date would be cute. (Spoiler: It wasn’t.)

Yet, somehow, despite all of this, the mystery of Tim Drake continues to deepen. People are still thirsting after him. The forums are still buzzing with talk of his “quiet charm” and “endearing quirks.” Even his awkward moments somehow manage to add to his appeal, giving him this relatable, down-to-earth vibe that no one in Gotham can seem to resist.

And so, the Batfamily remains baffled. Tim may be Gotham’s biggest heartthrob, but when it comes to actual dating?

He’s a disaster wrapped in a perfectly tailored suit.

[satangcrush]

helping hand

✦ PAIRING / diavolo x reader / ✦ SUMMARY: suggesting remedies for diavolo to relieve stress (suggestive!) ✦ WC: 1.3k

| MASTERLIST

══════════════════

It was a weekly occurrence for Diavolo to invite you over to the Demon Lord’s castle to enjoy time away from the brothers. It had even been added to your schedule pasted on the fridge door in the House of Lamentation, even the brothers know better than to intrude during this period – which is to say, you have never missed a single session. 

However, Diavolo had skipped the past meeting citing heavy workload as the main reason, leaving Barbatos to entertain you in the guest room. You didn’t have anything against the butler but you were disappointed seeing as you had intentionally come for Diavolo.

Thus this week, you were determined to spend some time with the demon prince even if all he’s doing is paperwork while you… sit beside him doing nothing. 

“Dia, you should really take a break.” You say distractedly as you nod your head in thanks towards Barbatos who had brought over a tray of pastries. This was also something that you missed. The snacks that Barbatos made were always something to die for.

“I would love to. But… I don’t think I have the time for that today,” Diavolo says gently, as he chances a glance towards Barbatos. Following the demon prince’s stare, you turned to look at the butler who was wearing a small frown, the expression so out of place on his normally placid face.

Usually, you wouldn’t have mentioned anything or even tried to get him to rest because god knows the amount of mischief Diavolo would get into once goaded on. But you could see the shadow of purple rings under his eyes drooping from where you were seated across the room. If that wasn’t an indication of how overworked he was, then you weren’t sure what could be one.

You let out a small sigh, as you squint at the paper he was holding. There has to be something that could at least help him relieve stress if he was so insistent on finishing his workload today. You racked your brain for something that could help.

“Have you tried rubbing one out recently?”

The shattering noise behind you grabs your attention as you twist your entire upper body to take a look. Barbatos had dropped a plate, and the glass pieces had shattered across the whole room. Even the butler looked surprised at his actions.

“Don’t mind me. I’ll head out to grab some cleaning supplies.” For the first time since you have arrived in the Devildom, you watch as Barbatos rushes out, seemingly running from something.

“Is he okay?” You cocked your head to the side, confused at the peculiarity of the behaviour that Barbatos exhibited.

You stood up, walking over to inspect the broken pieces. “These look expensive. Hopefully, they weren’t antiques or anything, right Dia?” You said.

When no reply came, you turned on your heel to face Diavolo’s desk. For some reason, he was turning red, and his eyes were staring daggers at the desk as if it had done something wrong. Now, you were starting to get worried. It seemed like the workload must be overbearing for him to show signs of physical exhaustion.

“Uh.” You paused, walking over to place a hand on his shoulder. “Is there something wrong?” Diavolo jerked away from your touch, wide eyes flitting up to meet yours.

“S-sorry. What did you say?” As if to maintain composure, he straightened his tie and cleared his throat but somehow, his eyes were looking past you.

“I asked if you were alright. The stress must be getting to you, your answers are so delayed.” You frowned, lifting a hand to try and touch his forehead.

This time, Diavolo viscerally jerked back and you paused mid-air, surprised by his actions.

“Oh Dia, you must be really stressed,” With a sympathetic voice, you pushed down the document he was holding even as he stumbled over his words to say something. After clearing a space on his desk, you hopped up to sit in front of him.

“Have you done any exercise lately?” You questioned, tilting Diavolo’s head up with a finger under his chin. Thankfully, other than the deep set of sunken eyebags, it didn’t seem like there were any other physical differences.

The demon prince nodded his head in affirmation. 

“How about getting a massage? If I recall, Barbatos is talented in this area. If you are this stressed, it could be a good idea to get one.” You said. 

For a second, you could see the flash of contemplation on Diavolo’s face. “He’s also stressed, I don’t want to add more on his plate at the current moment.”

You tapped your finger on the tip of his nose. “Well then, I recommend that you should find a chance to get off. It’s a relatively fast and easy solution.”

Diavolo looks awkward. Your face drops a bit as you observe his reaction, realising that he probably doesn’t even have time nor privacy to try out what you recommended. 

“You can consider getting someone to help you too,” You added on unhelpfully. 

There are multiple options that you were scanning through, and of course, the Avatar of Lust is at the forefront of your mind but you weren’t sure if Diavolo would appreciate a member of the Student Council helping him out with such an intimate matter.

“Are you offering?”

You almost fell off the desk, shocked by his remark. Diavolo was pinning you with an unreadable look and quickly, you realised that he was being serious about asking. Diavolo leans in closer to your face, breath hot and heavy. 

“It’s not nice of you to try and tempt a demon, love.” The demon prince continues to hover over you, arms planted on each side of the desk as he whispers. Your eyes widen but you manage to collect your bearings and push back against his chest.

“You must be joking, Dia.” You huffed out a laugh, as you turned your glance upwards. His gaze narrows and as he opens his mouth to correct you-- The sound of a knock startles the both of you. 

“Young Master, I’m coming in.”

With that sentence, both of you scrambled to make the scene less… compromising. You stand beside Diavolo, the embarrassment suffocating both of you into silence. Barbatos opens the door, holding a broom and some other cleaning supplies. A Little D trails behind him, looking thoroughly petulant.

“Please clean this up.” Barbatos orders while the Little D inspects the mess around the room. You kinda feel bad for the Little D but he was the least of your current concerns.

Barbatos looks on curiously but opts to not question the obvious distance between both of you. His gaze instead fell onto the stack of paper thrown to the ground which you had forgotten to pick up. “Why is the table so messy?”

You contemplated throwing Diavolo under the bus. “Um, I thought I saw an insect and panicked.” You lied badly.

Barbatos just blinked at you.

“An insect?” He asked, looking at you suspiciously.

With a loud gasp, you exaggeratedly glanced at the clock before shuffling past him, “Oh shoot! I have to go! Lucifer needs me haha.”

“He--” Diavolo starts.

“--Oh no! I really need to leave!” You quickly cut in, rushing out of the door. Thankfully, none of them tries to stop you this time. Your heart thrummed hard as you clutched your chest, face bright as you thought back to the earlier incident.

He must be joking, right?

══════════════════.

a/n▸ writing exercise lol. had this idea brewing around in my head for a while but finally got the time to sit down and finish it!

[sodamnbored]

Leo: *dazed after a spanner hits him on the head*

Nico: If it’s a concussion you have to keep him conscious. Ask him questions.

Jason: What’s seven times seven?

Nico: No, you gotta ask him stuff he knows!

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Catherynne M. Valente, “Deathless”

S15E6 “Date Night”, S11E18 “A Beautiful Disaster”, S2E15 “Revelations”, S3E2 “In Name and Blood”, S4E7 “Memoriam”

[youidiotwecouldbeenus]

Oh shit here we go again

[itsaceokay]

For someone who doesn't like coming out to people you'd think I'd be a whole lot better at pretending to be straight.

[atalana]

though i think my favourite reveal from the book of bill has been that at no point in his relationship with ford did bill ever stop being bill

he's always been loud and weird and fucked up and creepy, it's just that prior to the portal reveal ford would look at the fucked up shit he did and go "ah, hmm, he's from another dimension, he clearly doesn't realise that that would be read by humans as 'gross' and 'unacceptable', honest mistake, i'll be sure to tell him that next time!"

like honey no when he possesses a bunch of dead rats for your birthday present or tells you you should have eaten your twin in the womb for power (and when you explain that's not how that works go "you'd be surprised what you can eat!"), he's doing that on purpose