#DURING THE NEW DEAL PROGRAM
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kyonkersfake · 7 months ago
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"problematic"???? there are no problems in my attic.
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lockea · 8 months ago
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I've been seeing a lot of Discourse around outdoor cats that talks past one of the biggest problems addressing community cats/outdoor working cats so I thought I'd chime in with my two cents.
Many arguments I see just... don't think about the cats at all? Or don't consider the logistics of actually addressing the feral cat problem in a humane way. It's always about how outdoor cats shouldn't be outdoors, which is neither realistic nor helpful.
I used to volunteer at an municipal animal shelter in the USA that had a TNR program (Trap, Neuter, Return) and also adopted out community cats to local farms and businesses. Here's my side of the story.
"Your cat doesn't need to be outside" -- Yes, correct. Your domesticated (non-feral) house cat does not need to go outside at all. They can have a fully actualized life safely indoors. When I see this argument, proponents of indoor only cats are correct in most or all their arguments regarding this.
"Outdoor cats are the largest invasive species in the world, and decimate bird populations." -- This is also correct, and part of the reason why you can help by bringing your house cat indoors. Cats are the largest invasive species. Spay and Neuter your cats, bring them inside, and socialize them so they don't become feral.
"TNR doesn't work." -- False. Whether we like it or not, feral cats exist. We have two methods by which we can address the feral cat population -- decimating them (humanely euthanizing the whole colony) or TNR. For a long time, euthanasia was the preferred way to address the feral cat problem. Afterall, if the cats aren't there, doesn't that save the local wildlife population?
Except that we found, studying these colonies, that when a colony is wiped out, the cats of another colony will spread into their territory and continue to have kittens and the population of feral cats is neither controlled nor diminished.
Hence, TNR. What we found performing TNR on cat colonies was that this controlled the population of the colonies, allowing them to stay in their territory, which kept other colonies from spreading (especially colonies we hadn't performed TNR on yet). We at the shelter felt this was the most humane way to control the feral cat population and safely deflate their existence without dealing with the population blooms that euthanasia caused.
"What about kittens?" -- Kittens from these colonies were brought into the shelter, socialized, and fostered out until they could be adopted. Some of these semi-feral kittens needed special homes to be adopted into, but this was the best quality of life for these cats.
"What about cats that get missed during TNR?" -- We would return to the colony several times over a period of several years to perform TNR on the same colony. We mark cats that have been neutered by clipping their ear (this is done humanely, but is the most reliable way to tell if a cat has been neutered so the poor thing doesn't have to have surgery 3-4 times in their life). Also, during the TNR process the cats would be vaccinated to ensure disease did not spread from the colony (i.e. rabies). Still, even getting 60% of the colony TNR'd would dramatically reduce the number of kittens being added to the colony each year. This controlled the population by allowing the territory to naturally deflate in size over time, buying us time to address the larger feral cat problem.
"What if the colony was in an unsafe location?" -- There were two ways we addressed unsafe colony locations -- remember, we know that when the colony is removed, a new colony will move into its place, so we tried not to move the colony unless we really felt the cats or the public was unsafe -- one was to move the whole colony to a new location. Preferably someplace like a warehouse where we have an agreement with the owners of the warehouse. Some of the cats were even relocated to shelter grounds as our community cats. If the colony was small enough we would bring them into our Feral Cats room and adopt them out as community cats.
"What is a community cat?" -- The way the program worked, was that anyone who needed a working cat could apply to the program. These were often rural farmers or businesses with warehouses that needed rodent protection. We trained the farmers and businesses on how to acclimatize the cats to their new home, and as part of the agreement, they had to care for the cats (veterinary care, vaccinations, food and water). This gave businesses and farms an alternative to expensive and environmentally unfriendly rodent control, and also gave these feral cats good places to live out their natural lives.
"Can't you just adopt out feral cats?" -- No. Cats that have not been socialized around humans as kittens, or who have several generations of feral cat in them could not interact with humans in a way that did not cause them undue stress. This was not a humane way to handle feral cats. However, when a cat was brought into the feral cat room, they would be monitored for up to a week. If the cat displayed signs of being semi-social or fully social (hanging out outside of their den, allowing staff to pet them, showing interest in staff in the room), then we would either move the cat into the adoption room or place them in foster to be socialized before adoption. Feral cats who displayed signs of being able to live full and healthy lives with human companions were NOT adopted out as community cats. We also observed this behavior during TNRs and would do the same for those cats too.
"But aren't cats bad hunters?" -- Compared to other species, cats are not the most effective form of rodent control. This is true. However, you have to understand that feral cats exist. There is no "undo" button we can push to stop them from existing. We have to deal with the problem we have right now, which is to safely and humanely decrease the number of feral cats in our communities. And yes, we do that by using cats as rodent control in the community.
"What can I do?" -- Stop saying community cats shouldn't exist. That's not helpful and doesn't solve the problem we have. Bring your cat indoors. Spay and neuter your cats. Adopt from shelters. Volunteer with a TNR team. Support TNR efforts in your community. Recognize that those of us actively dealing with the community/feral problem are trying to do what is in the best interest of our communities and the animals we love. We aren't sitting over here saying these cats should exist -- a feral cat will not have the same quality of life as one that is indoors with a family -- but we have to address the problem in practical terms. We don't have the moral high ground to just do nothing while pontificating solutions that have no basis in actuality.
And yes, it's okay to celebrate community cats. If your local farm has a couple of working cats, that means that farm is helping participate in the safe deflation of the feral cat population. Don't shame a farm or business for using community cats. We're all doing the best we can to solve the problem that we have.
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rjzimmerman · 5 months ago
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Excerpt from this story from Grist:
Within weeks, the nation will deploy 9,000 people to begin restoring landscapes, erecting solar panels, and taking other steps to help guide the country toward a cleaner, greener future.
The first of those workers were inducted into the American Climate Corps on Tuesday during a virtual event from the White House. Their swearing-in marks another step forward for the Biden administration’s ambitious climate agenda. The program, which President Joe Biden announced within days of taking office in 2021, is a modern version of the Climate Conservation Corps, the New Deal-era project that put 3 million men to work planting trees and building national parks.
During the ceremony, the inaugural members of the corps promised to work “on behalf of our nation and planet, its people, and all its species, for the better future we hold within our sight.” 
The American Climate Corps was among the first things Biden announced as president, but it took a while to secure funding and get started. More than 20,000 young people are expected to join during the program’s first year, according to the White House, with new openings appearing on the American Climate Corps job site in the months ahead. The pay varies depending on the location and experience required, with open positions ranging from around $11 to $28 an hour.
The administration is promoting the corps as a way for young people to jump-start green careers. In April, the White House announced a partnership with TradesFutures, a nonprofit construction company, a sign that the program might help fill the country’s shortage of skilled workers who can help electrify everything. The White House will also place members in so-called “energy communities” like former coal-mining towns to help with environmental remediation and other projects.
“Whether it’s managing forests in the Pacific Northwest, deploying clean energy across the Southwest, or promoting sustainable farming practices throughout the heartland, the president’s American Climate Corps is providing thousands of young Americans with the skills and experience to advance a more sustainable, just tomorrow,” White House climate advisor Ali Zaidi said in a press release on Tuesday.
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samreich · 1 year ago
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Dropout is back in production. 🫡
As I mentioned, Dropout is not associated with the AMPTP, who negotiates on behalf of the majority of studios and streamers. But truthfully, there's no such thing as a "struck company." There are instead "struck contracts" -- and not-struck contracts.
We assumed Dropout's contract - the New Media Agreement for Non-Dramatic Programming - was stuck because it wasn't specifically on a list of non-struck contracts. After speaking at length with our lawyers and with SAG, turns out that is not the case.
So, Dropout can return to business as usual. And because none of our shows were ever struck, talent can go back to promoting their Dropout appearances. 🎉
SAG's decisions are in part strategic. Small streamers like us continuing to work while the major streamers cannot gives us a competitive advantage and puts more pressure on them to make a deal. 😎
But make no mistake about it: We continue to support our striking performers and their cause.
- Between Dropout and me personally, we have donated $20,000 to the Entertainment Community Fund.
- If anyone doesn't feel comfortable working with us or promoting their work during the strike for whatever reason, we respect their decision.
- While we already pay above minimums, we will continue to go above and beyond to reward and protect our performers *and* crew members, and plan to put even more of our money where our mouth is before the end of the year.
Dropout fans, thank you for your support and solidarity during this uncertain time. Keep supporting the Entertainment Community Fund, as well as the pet projects of your favorite creators.
And with that, it's back to work. ⛏️
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wilwheaton · 1 month ago
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What we’re witnessing online during and in the aftermath of these hurricanes is a group of people desperate to protect the dark, fictitious world they’ve built. Rather than deal with the realities of a warming planet hurling once-in-a-generation storms at them every few weeks, they’d rather malign and threaten meteorologists, who, in their minds, are “nothing but a trained subversive liar programmed to spew stupid shit to support the global warming bullshit,” as one X user put it. It is a strategy designed to silence voices of reason, because those voices threaten to expose the cracks in their current worldview. But their efforts are doomed, futile. As one dispirited meteorologist wrote on X this week, “Murdering meteorologists won’t stop hurricanes.” She followed with: “I can’t believe I just had to type that.” What is clear is that a new framework is needed to describe this fracturing. Misinformation is too technical, too freighted, and, after almost a decade of Trump, too political. Nor does it explain what is really happening, which is nothing less than a cultural assault on any person or institution that operates in reality. If you are a weatherperson, you’re a target. The same goes for journalists, election workers, scientists, doctors, and first responders. These jobs are different, but the thing they share is that they all must attend to and describe the world as it is. This makes them dangerous to people who cannot abide by the agonizing constraints of reality, as well as those who have financial and political interests in keeping up the charade.
I’m Running Out of Ways to Explain How Bad This Is - The Atlantic
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batboyblog · 2 months ago
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Things the Biden-Harris Administration Did This Week #32
August 30-September 6 2024.
President Biden announced $7.3 billion in clean energy investment for rural communities. This marks the largest investment in rural electrification since the New Deal. The money will go to 16 rural electric cooperatives across 23 states Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, New Jersey, New Mexico, Nevada, North Dakota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Texas, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. Together they will be able to generate 10 gigawatts of clean energy, enough to power 5 million households about 20% of America's rural population. This clean energy will reduce greenhouse emissions by 43.7 million tons a year, equivalent to removing more than 10 million cars off the road every year.
The Biden-Harris Administration announced a historic 10th offshore wind project. The latest project approved for the Atlantic coast of Maryland will generate 2,200 megawatts of clean, reliable renewable energy to power 770,000 homes. All together the 10 offshore wind projects approved by the Biden-Harris Administration will generation 15 gigawatts, enough to power 5.25 million homes. This is half way to the Administration's goal of 30 gigawatts of clean offshore wind power by 2030.
President Biden signed an Executive Order aimed at supporting and expanding unions. Called the "Good Jobs EO" the order will direct all federal agencies to take steps to recognize unions, to not interfere with the formation of unions and reach labor agreements on federally supported projects. It also directs agencies to prioritize equal pay and pay transparency, support projects that offer workers benefits like child care, health insurance, paid leave, and retirement benefits. It will also push workforce development and workplace safety.
The Department of Transportation announced $1 billion to make local roads safer. The money will go to 354 local communities across America to improve roadway safety and prevent deaths and serious injuries. This is part of the National Roadway Safety Strategy launched in 2022, since then traffic fatalities have decreased for 9 straight quarters. Since 2022 the program has supported projects in 1,400 communities effecting 75% of all Americans.
The Department of Energy announced $430 million to support America's aging hydropower. Hydropower currently accounts for nearly 27% of renewable electricity generation in the United States. However many of our dams were built during the New Deal for a national average of 79 years old. The money will go to 293 projects across 33 states. These updates will improve energy generation, workplace safety, and have a positive environmental impact on local fish and wildlife.
The EPA announced $300 million to help support tribal nations, and US territories cut climate pollution and boost green energy. The money will support projects by 33 tribes, and the Island of Saipan in the Northern Mariana Islands. EPA Administer Michael S. Regan announced the funds along side Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland in Arizona to highlight one of the projects. A project that will bring electricity for the first time to 900 homes on the Hopi Reservation.
The Biden-Harris Administration is investing $179 million in literacy. This investment in the Comprehensive Literacy State Development Grant is the largest in history. Studies have shown that the 3rd grade is a key moment in a students literacy development, the CLSD is designed to help support states research, develop, and implement evidence-based literacy interventions to help students achieve key literacy milestones.
The US government secured the release of 135 political prisoners from Nicaragua. Nicaragua's dictator President Daniel Ortega has jailed large numbers of citizens since protests against his rule broke out in 2018. In February 2023 the US secured the release of over 200 political prisoners. Human rights orgs have documented torture and sexual abuse in Ortega's prisons.
The Justice Department announced the disruption of a major effort by Russia to interfere with the 2024 US Elections. Russian propaganda network, RT, deployed $10 million to Tenet Media to help spread Russian propaganda and help sway the election in favor of Trump and the Republicans as well as disrupting American society. Tenet Media employs many well known conservative on-line personalities such as Benny Johnson, Tim Pool, Lauren Southern, Dave Rubin, Tayler Hansen and Matt Christiansen.
Vice-President Harris outlined her plan for Small Businesses at a campaign stop in New Hampshire. Harris wants to expand from $5,000 to $50,000 tax incentives for startup expenses. This would help start 25 million new small business over four years.
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shepscapades · 5 months ago
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Thanks to artfight, I’ve finally finished a detailed, official dbhc cub reference! :D
(I’ve put his Artifight description below the cut, which has a more detailed explanation of his timeline, lore, and aesthetics! >:3)
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁  OVERVIEW ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
Name: C.B.F.N.4000 (Cub) Pronouns: He/Him Species: Android Height: 5’9’’ Associated Visual Themes: vex, ghosts, explosions, mischief, scientist aesthetic, potions, potionmaking, sleepy/tired aesthetic, conspiracies
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁  ABOUT ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
CBFN4000 is an au version of MCYT Hermitcraft’s Cubfan, set in my DBHC (or Detroit Become Hermitcraft) AU! This au is inspired by the 2018 game Detroit Become Human, but not because it really has anything to do with DBH—I simply yoinked the android mechanics and incorporated them into the world of Hermitcraft. It began as a S8 au, and has roughly followed the hermitcraft timeline up to the present! 
Cub was the last android made during Season 8. While many of the hermit androids were made at the beginning of season 8 and a few were made for season 9, Cub was finished and activated mid-late Season 8, around the time when Hermits started noticing the Big Moon. Cub’s model ended up being a sloppy experiment in deviation, as Doc suggested they try to transfer deviancy to an android upon activation to try and avoid traumatic situations that might cause an android to deviate violently or upsettingly, such as Etho’s, Tango’s, or Mumbo’s experiences. While this went relatively well initially, it clearly wasn’t very thoroughly thought out, as Xisuma (who is normally so adamant and detail-oriented when it comes to assuring the androids’ safety with experiments like this) wasn’t truly himself due to external manipulation and mostly left a relatively young-deviant Doc to carry out the project himself. 
Cub, though adjusting to sentience rather well at first, very quickly became wrapped up in the Big Moon happenings on the server, new personality and inexperience to emotions like fear and ignorance completely overwhelming his young system. He became obsessive over the implications and consequences of the Season 8 Moon Apocalypse, joining the Mooners and spreading his conspiracy theories religiously throughout the server as he descended into madness. The insanity was like a virus to his programming, pervasive and all-engulfing, and Cub’s final attempt to free himself from the Moon’s impact with the Earth—to launch himself on a llama into space via potion-powered TNT(insane btw)— left his hands and feet singed and cracked to ruin.
The experiment, considered a horrific failure by a deeply shameful—and more awake—S9 Xisuma, left Doc and Xisuma with the decision to reset him for the new season, and they ended up pairing him with a hermit like they had done with the other androids until they had found deviancy enough to pursue their own projects. So, at the start of season 9 and fresh after a reset, Cub was paired with Scar. Naturally, because Scar is… Scar, Cub deviated almost instantly after being given to him, and very quickly adopted the iconic lazy, stoic, amused attributes normally associated with Cubfan. Scar’s tendency towards mischief and general shenanigans grew instantly on Cub, and the two were an immediate inseparable pair. So much so that when Scar began rambling one day about his Season 5 Hermitcraft Shenanigans (where deals with the Vex may or may not have been involved), Cub immediately stated he was interested in being in on it. Whatever “it” means. It’s unclear if Cub also made a deal with the vex or became connected to them in some other way, but… well, he got Doc’s help to trick out his eyes, hair, and back to best fit the part. Scar is very jealous that he can't magically make himself have the same features to match.
Cub is closest with Scar, but he gets along just as well with any of the other hermits! He’s close with Jevin and many of the other redstoners like Etho and Doc, who are the other two androids I’ve put on artfight!
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁  EXTRAS ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
Cub's eyes can light up in the dark, and he’s the only android who has edited his programming so that the default state of his LED is white, not blue. It still will go yellow and red if his processors are working particularly hard, but he’s replaced the blue setting on his LED with white to better match the Vex vibe. Cub has all of the vibes of a fae. If that’s anything <3
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fiercynn · 1 year ago
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poetry outlets that support a free palestine
after finding out that the poetry foundation/POETRY magazine pulled a piece that discussed anti-zionism because they "don't want to pick a side" during the current genocide, i decided to put together a list of online outlets who are explicitly in solidarity with palestine where you can read (english-language) poetry, including, except where otherwise stated, by palestinian poets!
my criteria for this is not simply that they have published palestinian poets or pro-palestine statements in the past; i only chose outlets that, since october 7, 2023, have done one of the following:
published a solidarity statement against israeli occupation & genocide
signed onto the open letter for writers against the war on gaza and/or the open letter boycotting the poetry foundation
published content that is explicitly pro-palestine or anti-zionist, including poetry that explicitly deals with israeli occupation & genocide
shared posts that are pro-palestine on their social media accounts
fyi this is undoubtedly a very small sample. also some of these sites primarily feature nonfiction or short stories, but they do all publish poetry.
outlets that focus entirely on palestinian or SWANA (southwest asia and north africa) literature
we are not numbers, a palestinian youth-led project to write about palestinian lives
arab lit, a magazine for arabic literature in translation that is run by a crowd-funded collective
sumuo, an arab magazine, platform, and community (they appear to have a forthcoming palestine special print issue edited by leena aboutaleb and zaina alsous)
mizna, a platform for contemporary SWANA (southwest asian & north africa) lit, film, and art
the markaz review, a literary arts publication and cultural institution that curates content and programs on the greater middle east and communities in diaspora
online magazines who have published special issues of all palestinian writers (and all of them publish palestinian poets in their regular issues too)
fiyah literary magazine in december 2021, edited by nadia shammas and summer farah (if you have $6 usd to spare, proceeds from the e-book go to medical aid for palestinians)
strange horizons in march 2021, edited by rasha abdulhadi
the baffler in june 2021, curated by poet/translators fady joudah & lena khalaf tuffaha
the markaz review has two palestine-specific issues, on gaza and on palestinians in israel, currently free to download
literary hub featured palestinian poets in 2018 for the anniversary of the 1948 nakba
adi magazine, who have shifted their current (october 2023) issue to be all palestinian writers
outlets that generally seem to be pro-palestine/publish pro-palestine pieces and palestinian poetry
protean magazine (here's their solidarity statement)
poetry online (offering no-fee submissions to palestinian writers)
sundog lit (offering no-fee submissions to palestinian writers through december 1, 2023)
guernica magazine (here's a twitter thread of palestinian poetry they've published) guernica ended up publishing a zionist piece so fuck them too
split this rock (here's their solidarity statement)
the margins by the asian-american writers' workshop
the offing magazine
rusted radishes
voicemail poems
jewish currents
the drift magazine
asymptote
the poetry project
ctrl + v journal
the funambulist magazine
n+1 magazine (signed onto the open letter and they have many pro-palestine articles, but i'm not sure if they have published palestinian poets specifically)
hammer & hope (signed onto the letter but they are a new magazine only on their second issue and don't appear to have published any palestinian poets yet)
if you know others, please add them on!
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socialistexan · 1 year ago
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Hey, y'all, this is a reminder for anyone that has student loans that they are defaulted on or in collections for:
Apply for Fresh Start NOW if you haven't already done so. Like right now. Do it right this very second do not put it off any longer.
If you don't know, applying for Fresh Start will move your loan status from "Default" to "Current," you will no longer have to deal with collections calls! You won't have your wages garnished or your tax refunds taken by the Education Department! The default gets removed from your credit and you become eligible for federal mortgage programs! You become eligible for Income Driven Repayment (IDR) programs that can reduce your monthly payment in a huge way (from $400/month to $50/month for me!) and you get IDR credit for the three years you were in default during the pandemic freeze!
It only has upsides!
I mean it, it can make a huge difference! You can even submit both Fresh Start and an IDR application at the same time. It takes literal seconds. I had my name legally changed and I'm still eligible! I clicked like 3 buttons, checked a couple boxes, and boom. I sent off the application August 22nd and I got the letter yesterday (Sept 20th), but that letter was dated Sept 1st and was only to inform me that my loan was no longer in default would be transferred to a new loan servicer by the end of the month. It took a week and a half to process.
I also became eligible and received a refund check for money taken from me during the starting stages of the pandemic.
The best time to do it is now. Period.
Do. It. Right. Now.
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introvertedeviant · 2 years ago
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I AM STRESSING OUTT
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leighsartworks216 · 1 month ago
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Puppy
Sylus x gn!Reader
Inspired by the quality time work/study animation when he looks up from cleaning his gun and he just looks so soft and sweet 🥺 And also from the in-game phone call "Crow"
Warnings: swearing, pet names, biting, teasing, fluff
Word Count: 1,142
Masterlist
AO3
Tag List Form
“Where’s Sylus?”
The temperamental crow looked at you with one glowing red eye, beak turned away coyly. You have to wonder what kind of programming went into making him have so much attitude. It’d probably go right over your head, anyway.
“Wanna make a deal?” You keep an eye on Mephisto as you reach into your pocket, rooting around until cold metal touches your fingers. You lift the shiny metal nut like a prize. “Hm? A nice shiny trinket for you if you show me where Sylus is? What d’ya say?”
His metal wings fluttered at his side, feet stepping unsurely on his perch. But all crows are alike, mechanical or otherwise. He swoops down and snatches the metal from your fingers. You feel the brush of talons, barely escaping having your hand sliced up by an overeager metal chicken.
His caw sounds like a laugh as he leads you down the many halls of the mansion. When he stops to wait for you to catch up, he croons at his shiny new knickknack, pecking at it and staring at it from every angle with his red eyes. He glides through the open crack of a door.
You peek in first. It’s a study, with shelves lined with old paper books and vinyls. There’s a desk with guns neatly laid out on top. Mephisto perches on the accompanying chair. And on the couch, head tilted back and eyes closed, is Sylus.
You wonder if he’s really asleep this time. He’s tricked you before, but as you listen closely you hear the soft snores giving him away.
How cute, you think. A little midnight nap.
The door doesn’t make a sound as you push it open enough to slip inside. You don’t close it back all the way, and Mephisto’s wings nearly clip your head as he flies back outside of the room. That damn bird will always have it out for you, you’re sure of it.
You creep along the elegant carpet to your target, slowly lowering yourself to sit on the other end of the couch. As much as you love messing with Sylus, you didn’t actually want to wake him up now. So, being very careful, you lay down and rest your head in his lap.
“If you want to cuddle, you don’t need to sneak around for it.”
You smack his chest. “You’re such an asshole!” Your heart was racing from the scare, but you don’t get up from your new position. Sylus rewards you by beginning to comb his fingers through your hair. “Were you actually sleeping?”
He hums. There’s a gravel to his voice you didn’t notice before. “Yes, I was.” He finally lifts his head from the back of the couch to look down at you. “Until someone gave Mephisto a shiny new item for his collection.”
You chuckle despite the unimpressed look on his face. “He told on me again?”
“You’re all he seems to talk about these days,” he sighs. He brushes some hair away from your forehead. “At least it’s positive, this time.
“Did you need something from me?”
“Not really. I was just… lonely.”
He smiles slightly. “Well, I’m always happy to keep you company, sweetie.”
It’s easy to doze while he plays with your hair. He seems to know all the right spots, all the right techniques to ease your troubles away. In his care, your hair doesn’t tangle or get caught. It’s heaven.
-
When you wake up, you’re exactly where you were. Sylus’s lap was warm under you, and you wondered if his legs fell asleep at any point during your nap. If they did, he’d suffered through it for your sake.
His hand was nearly still in your hair now. It didn’t move in those perfect ministrations as before. Instead, it was almost completely still, moving at a snail’s pace along the crown of your head. You blink your eyes open to figure out why, maybe even pout and whine about it just to annoy him, but you can’t stop from just staring.
If he notices you’re awake or watching him, he doesn’t say anything. His thumb scrolls through his phone, probably looking at the latest underground news on shady deals or skimming over messages from desperate people wanting to deal with him. Something that drew his attention away from you, at least.
So you take your time drinking him in.
He’s pretty, there’s no arguments there, but it’s his own kind of pretty. It’s sharp and multifaceted, like a crystal. His eyes are intense, lashes so dark and thick it looks like he’s wearing makeup. You wonder if he does. He’d look even more gorgeous with dark red eyeshadow and sharp cat eyeliner. His lips are pressed into a thin line, soft pink drawing your eyes to them. You quickly turn your attention to the slope of his nose before he catches you.
With a sigh, Sylus closes his phone and sets it aside. His hand in your hair goes back to a normal speed, his fingers scratching at the nape of your neck as he finally looks down at you, And just like that, all that sharp beauty is replaced.
Instead of his usual intense gaze, his eyes are soft around the edges, just a little bit wider, relaxed. His lips quirk up slightly at the sight of you, softening his cheekbones. He tilts his head playfully, eyebrows raising as though asking if you’re enjoying the view.
“Puppy.”
He blinks, and it’s gone. His brow furrows, his lips dropping into a frown, eyes sharpened with suspicion. “What?”
You smirk. It’s rare to feel like you have the upper hand. You reach up and touch his cheek. He leans into it, though his expression remains.
“Sometimes you get this look on your face,” you tell him. Your thumb runs under his eye. “It makes you look soft, like a little puppy.”
He scoffs, but his lips quirk up again. “Just how long have you been waiting to use that on me?”
You hum, running your fingers down his cheekbone to his jaw. “Since I asked you to join me while I study a few days ago.” You traced the sharp cut of his jawline, tracking the movement with your eyes. “I looked up for a minute, and you were looking at me like I’d just promised to scratch you behind the ears.” To emphasize your point, you reach to do just that.
He catches your hand before you can, thumb pressed to your palm to keep your hand open. He brings your fingers to his lips, eyes watching you intently as he bites down on them, one at a time, nipping at the tips and knuckles with a smirk. “Careful, kitten,” he warns. He bites at the soft skin on the back of your hand. “This puppy bites.”
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cllightning81 · 2 months ago
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Academic Change
Summary : Everything's changing and the only way you know how to deal with it is by crying. Ollie's there to help though
Pairing/s: Oliver Bearman x Reader
Word Count : 0.8k
Masterlist
Oliver Bearman Masterlist
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A/N : Oh, how I needed an Ollie last night when this exact situation hit me.
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It had reached a new academic year, but this year was different. You've finished high school and are now on your way to university. Ollie was signing with Haas, which meant his life was about to get more difficult. However, the worst part about it all was your best friend was moving away to go to university. 
You’d heard the horror stories about best friends that move away and slowly just lose connection until it was like there was never a friendship there in the first place. With all the change that was happening over the next six months, you could feel the anxiety kicking in. 
Ollie was back home for the break between Monza and Baku and you couldn’t be more grateful because during that break you had to say bye to your best friend and it was worse than Ollie leaving almost every week. 
She understood you in a way that no one else could, there were millions of inside jokes that would be shared between you, inappropriate jokes that would have strangers or other people complaining about but that was your friendship. 
It wasn’t until you were lying in bed blocking out the neighbours party that it really hit you. Noah Kahan’s ‘You’re Gonna Go Far’ playing into your ears as the words suddenly hit more than they ever had before. 
Before you knew it, the tears had started falling down your face as the panic set in that actually she was packing up her car and being wherever she was. You’d tried not to cry for months about her leaving, but suddenly, everything was just far too much. 
Ollie who was lying next to you in bed also blocking out the neighbours party with his own earphones in except this time scrolling on tiktok glanced over at you instantly spotting the tear tracks that had been on your face as you swapped from your normal playlist to your sad playlist needing to just let all your feelings out. 
His arms wrapped around your body, pulling you closer to him as he ran a comforting hand over your back in an attempt to help calm you down however you were too deep into your crying session by now. 
Soon Ollie figured you’d been crying enough and took your phone swapping over to some ‘relaxing sounds’ that in reality just made you want to use the bathroom but you didn’t have the energy to fight him. 
His hand gently pulled your wrist closer to him as he messed about with your smartwatch to start the breathing exercises that were programmed in by whatever company you’d previously bought it from. As you followed the instructions from the watch, you could feel the anxiety of losing your best friend leaving your body and your heart rate dropping back down to normal. 
Ollie sighed, letting you remove your earphones and place your phone on the bedside table before pulling you back into his body 
“I know it’s hard, darling. Trust me, I know, except I was the one leaving everyone behind. I know it from both points of view, and you just need to remember that what you have won’t disappear overnight. You’ll meet new people on your course even if it’s a small course and you’ll never forget about your memories with her. I know your anxiety is through the roof right now, and you don’t deal well with change, but remember I’ll always be here. Even if I’m in Italy or Australia. She’ll always be there whether she’s ten minutes away by bus or half an hour by train” Ollie took a breath, pushing some hair out your face and wiping stray tears from your face 
“Change is hard, and it’ll always be hard for you because that’s just who you are, but I love you for it and remember you’re the first from your family ever to go to university. That’s an achievement. You’re also doing a medical degree technically. I love you” He smiled, and you nodded 
“I love you too. Thank you” Ollie nodded, pressing his lips against yours. 
Everything was changing, and as hard as that was to admit, unfortunately, change was always going to happen in life, and although your facetimes were starting to become irregular, they were still happening. 
No matter what happened in the next few months, at least you always had the memories that you’d created over the past three years at high school. Because you’d left all those friend groups that turned out not to be right, and now you had your best friend. 
It was going to work out, and Ollie knew that after a couple of weeks you’d understand that. 
“Come on time for some ice cream” Ollie hummed, getting out of bed and throwing you over his shoulder, causing you to giggle and cling on for dear life. 
Sitting you down on the counter in the kitchen, Ollie raided the freezer, handing you the carton of ice cream with a spoon as he told Alex to play songs from both your childhoods. After all, much like your best friend, he knew how to make you happy. 
And to quote Lauv “The story never ends”
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rboooks · 1 year ago
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DC x DP: The Adoptive Son
Danny Fenton gets lost in the Infinite Releams and without the Infinite Map, he has no hope finding his way home.
After wandering for weeks, he quickly realizes his human side is dying from lack of food and stress. With a heavy heart, he crashes lands in a new world, desperate for rest.
A new world that was seemed to behind in terms of technology. But he's not afraid of helping the world catch up if it means finding a way home.
He crashed in the middle of nowhere forest and after three days of walking by foot- too worn out to fly- he comes across Gotham.
Taking a page out of Vlad's book- as much as it makes him feel sick- he possesses people to get himself set up in the new world. He needs to find somewhere with enough money that he can build a S.O.S for his friends to find him.
And he needs resources to survive.
He finds a wealthy family who is so invested in breaking each other apart they didn't notice their sudden ease in wanting to adopt Danny.
Seemingly overnight, the Crowne family went from slowly collapsing to once more being at the top due to their adopted son Danny Crowne's genius mind. Despite his young age, his adoptive father allowed him to turn the family business from fashion design to medical and technical advances.
At age fourteen he sat within the board meetings slowly but surely taking over and raising the company's stocks and power.
They developed the first heart pumps, made leaps and bounds in cancer treatment, and created software and computer programs that and their prosthetics were the most advanced in the world.
There were rumors that the head design for all engineering projects- including the prosthetics- were all done by Danny Crowne. They were never confirmed.
Even business deals done by the Crownes were suspiciously so far in their favor many believed they were making deals with the multiple families of Gotham's underbelly.
That was also never proven.
Despite all the whispers about him, Danny Crowne was considered one of the brightest minds in Gotham. Everyone who spoke to him claimed he was a soft-spoken gentleman and was even compared to royalty from his regal composition.
Personally, Bruce has always had a bad feeling about Danny Crowne. He knows the boy is off in some way, all his Instincts scream danger when he's around.
At first, he was ecstatic to hear the Crownes had also adopted an orphan from a poor background. It had been a few years after he had gotten his ward, Dick. Despite it being five years since he first accepted Dick into his home, his ward had not made any friends besides Barbara Gordon. None of the elite children gave Dick the time of day pass making passive aggressive comments about him.
Then the news of Danny Crowne broke, and everyone knew he had practically been picked off the streets after the CPS had forced him into the juvenile hall as the only place that had space for him.
Just like Dick.
He had hoped that a similar past would help the two boys bond. He had tried pushing Dick into speaking to Danny, and had gone out of his way to personally invite the young man to a party he threw for all of Dicks classmates.
The first thing Danny Crowne did upon arriving at his house was step away from the crowd and study Bruce's home wiring. Dick later told him Danny made him feel strange, like the other boy would be one the loons they stopped during the night.
Bruce, stop pushing for their friendship.
Time moved on, but Crownes only grew in power, and by the time he took in Jason, Danny Crowne inherited his family assets after his adoptive parents mysterious deaths.
They began to look into Danny after Nightwing had discovered a trail of dangerous experiments from shell companies that all led back to Crowne Co. Jason also mentioned that a lot of street kids disappeared after Danny Crowne had turn his sights on them with a new charity program his company ran.
No one knew what happened to the kids and no one in the legal system seemed to care.
Bruce thought about the Crownes rise to wealth and felt sick. Had Danny been running a trafficking ring since his adoption? Had that escaped Batman's notice for four years?
Despite the fact they were still at eachother throats, both Bruce and Dick agreed to work togther to bring Danny Crowne down. How?
Simple.
Danny Crowne was openly bisexual and, according to Jason, who was half-raised by working girls, his eyes always followed Dick around the room.
Operation Honey Pot was a go.
(Danny didn't mean to stay here for four years but had built himself a home, and no natural portals were opening. He figured he could secretly construct his while helping abused kids find safe ways out of the city and start new lives. Technically illegal, no one had batted an eye when the kids vanished, so he figured getting them somewhere safe was more important. Indeed Batman had better things to do than track down kids in better foster homes. He test-ran the homes himself before placing the children. Yes, overshadowing made him feel bad, but he rather experienced the house before overshadowing the social workers into legalizing the stay under new names. He was sick of them sticking kids in juvenile halls just cause other foster homes were "out of jurisdiction".
At least his charities helped the age out kids succeed in life.
Now why was handsome Dick Grayson winking at him??? Gosh, that made him more nervous than all the lessons Clockwork forced him to take back when he was training to take the Ghost Throne. The classes helped him become one of the best CEO in the world, but they were also the reason he got into this whole mess to begin with. At least he looked regal when he spoke. )
( Part 2 ) (part 3)
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okiedokrie · 4 months ago
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Meet Me In Amsterdam
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Summary: "Minghao finds himself under a mentorship program from one of the most brilliant artist in the contemporary circle, where he meets Y/N and bond with their journey through art, overcoming traumas, and hopeless romanticism of the life and love around them. But all things come to an end at some point, the mentorship program ends, and they both go back to their lives. But they do meet again to finish what they started; 'if there is a next time, meet me in Amsterdam.'"
Characters/Pairing: Artist!Minghao x Artist!Fem!Reader
Genre: smut, some angst, fluff
AU/Trope Info: Non-idol AU!, idiots to lovers
Word Count: 10.8k
Warnings: Religious themes, implication of past sexual assault, homophobia mention, some cursing, food mentions, smut warnings under the cut
Rating: 18+
A/N: this is for the @svthub 2024 world tour collab! Thanks to @whipped-for-kpop-fics and @hobeemin for beta-reading!
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Smut Warnings: oral (f receiving), sex in a church, unprotected sex, implied creampie
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The air in Minghao's studio is dizzying. A broken exhaust and paint fumes don't really mix, and his open windows could only do so much. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Touching grass may solve his problem, but he doesn't feel like dealing with the morning dew on the grass.
He quickly closed his windows before packing all his belongings in his commuting bag, opting to rush to a recent exhibit that opened. Minghao knew very little about the artist, but a change of scenery might help quell his throbbing headache. 
Minghao took this opportunity to space out during the commute to the gallery, popping on his headphones and trying to ignore the touchy couples in the train car with him. He wonders what it'll feel like to find his person like them; Minghao only craves the warmth of another's arms.
He wonders what it'll feel like to fall for someone, to be comfortable with vulnerability and the trusting bond between two lovers. Ever the hopeless romantic, he'd love to love and be loved.
He snapped out of his thoughts when the intercom buzzed to life, announcing the arrival at Minghao’s stop. Adjusting the strap of his messenger bag, he pushed his way through the busy crowd to head out of the station. The walk to the gallery was calm and relatively quiet. This part of the city mostly had walking paths rather than roads, so it was really only bustling with people and the occasional bicycle. 
Arriving at the gallery, the pieces were gorgeous, as expected. This artist was well known in the contemporary circle, so it's no surprise that the gallery is almost busier than the outside. Minghao felt drawn to one piece in particular, the warm tones, swirling and melting into one another, blending into a flame-like flow; it was stationary yet moving.
He hears a chuckle behind him, only to see an older man, about mid-forties, smiling at him. “I see you enjoy this piece; you have great taste. What's your name, boy?” 
Minghao is a little flustered, but he introduces himself nonetheless. The man before him introduced himself as the artist and noticed Minghao's paint-stained hands before asking if he was an artist himself. Minghao confirmed the older man’s speculations, offering to show some of his work as photos on his phone. The older man was impressed by Minghao’s talent and potential, and he then mentioned that he had an apprenticeship program open, but it was in Amsterdam. 
Minghao agreed a little too enthusiastically, seeing as this man quite literally defined an era of art in a way nobody else has.
It was only a few weeks after that interaction, but Minghao found himself on a flight to Amsterdam.
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Taking in the city's air, Minghao feels a sense of dread washing over him, and the hustle and bustle of a new city scares him a bit. Being alone in a foreign land wasn't why his nerves were all over the place; no, it was the fact that he felt this opportunity wasn't meant to be his.
Sure, his mentor got the opportunity to see his work before he accepted the offer, but still, he feels this mentorship program would've been more suited to someone more fitting.
Nonetheless, Minghao is here now. And he swears he'll make the most of the time he spends here.
Taking one of the many old trains out of the airport, the rumbling train rails helped ground him a little; the sound was new and familiar at the same time. He thought back to his small studio back home, wondering how well it'd hold up in the year he'd be gone.
Minghao is snapped out of his daydreams when the train arrives at his station. He lugs his luggage to what will be his living quarters for the rest of his time here. Wiping his palms over his sweats, he finally takes the time to haul his bags over the stairs to the small apartment that was provided to him. His mentor mentioned that he has a roommate, another artist in the program, so he doesn't let his stuff get too comfortable in the main room.
Instead, he randomly picks one of the rooms, hoping his roommate doesn't mind. If they did, it's not as if he's opposed to switching. 
He hums a simple melody while setting his bags to the side, still catching up to the jetlag and too tired to put anything away. He inspects the room, noting that it is a little dusty. He has to settle his sheets and wipe everything down before he can get too comfortable.
He thinks that heading out for brunch is a good idea, guessing that his roommate would most likely want to get situated in peace. He gets his wallet and phone and heads out to find somewhere to eat.
The streets weren't too busy. It was midday and the middle of the week, and most likely, people were still at their jobs. Still, they were full of people to the point that Minghao felt the pressure of needing to always be on the move. He constantly tried to go with the flow of the crowds while trying to find an establishment he could eat at, preferably something to quell his growing homesickness.
He stumbles across what seems to be a small business with very familiar-looking signs. Bingo! It's a Chinese restaurant! He thanks whatever force managed to lead him here before he enters the restaurant. The distinct smell of the classic spice mix calms his nerves, and his posture relaxes significantly. 
The man at the counter doesn't look up from his paper, pointing at a booth near the back where Minghao could set his stuff before ordering. The curt behavior of the man doesn't phase him; in fact, it comforts him. He sets his bag down before standing at the counter, reading over the signs that were both in Mandarin and English. He starts ordering his food in Mandarin, finally getting the man at the counter to notice him. He nods in understanding, taking his order diligently before yelling his order at the cook at the back.
He pays, nods at the man again, and gets situated at his table. Getting comfortable with the smell of the food cooking and the chatter of the people around him. He fiddles with his phone a little, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram to see what his friends are up to. Mingyu got another modeling gig, Jungkook with his new single, and Dokyeom got to play Orpheus in Hadestown. 
Soon enough, he doesn't realize how much time has passed, only noticing that his food was ready when the waitress hurriedly slides his food onto the table and takes his table number. Mumbling thanks, which he believes she ignores, Minghao starts to eat his food.
This is so good, actually; I need to post this to my story.
Minghao took a picture of his food. The digital camera shutter almost distracted him from the sound of someone bumping into the table next to him. 
“Oh! Sorry, sorry!” A feminine voice said, frantically apologizing to the patron at said table, holding her hip. She desperately tried to wipe up anything that was spilled, apologizing profusely. Minghao got up from his table and offered to help her, wiping up the mess with her like the gentleman he was. Once the table was free from any spills, she apologized again to the person at the table and Minghao for troubling him.
“It’s fine; accidents happen all the time. Just be more mindful next time.” He says calmly, returning to his booth before a smaller hand grabs his arm. 
“Uh, I can't find a place to sit. Would you mind sharing a table with me?” she asked shyly but politely. Minghao shakes his head no. Offering her a polite smile as they walk back to their now shared table, she leaves her items in his care before going to order her food.
Minghao finally gets to enjoy the food he ordered. The decadent aroma was mouth-watering, and most importantly, it reminded him of home. It helps warm him up, literally and figuratively. He chews slowly, savoring the flavors of his food as usual. He'd always been a slow eater, slow enough for the lady he shares a table with to get her food and finish eating with him.
They both get up from their table with a curt nod of acknowledgment. Thinking this would be the last time they'd ever interact, Minghao didn't bother introducing himself. And neither does she. 
Yet, Minghao can't seem to shake the feeling of disappointment once he leaves her.
Minghao finally arrives at his apartment, ready to settle down after a long day of exploring the city and taking photos of places that inspire him. He closes the door, running a hand through his hair to look around the living room. 
He nearly dropped his camera when he saw the girl from the restaurant staring back at him, and he almost dropped the tray of paints from the shock.
“What are you doing here?!” She asked, surprised and on alert. Minghao could only guess what emotions she was going through at that moment. A random man she met once is suddenly in her apartment. Oh dear.
Minghao starts to feel panic settle into him, too. Both of them look like deer in headlights, trying to make sense of the situation. 
“Oh- uh- fuck, I live here!” Minghao says frantically, holding both his hands up in a show of innocence, showing his copy of the keys to their apartment.
Her posture immediately relaxed a little, “Oh uh, so, you're my roommate? I'm Y/n, by the way.” She says, still a little weary of him. He doesn't blame her; he did come in unannounced.
“It's nice to meet you again, I mean. I'm Minghao. Let's try to get along for this mentorship program, yeah?” He says, scratching the back of his head. “I'm gonna go head to bed; I'm exhausted from all the traveling, so uh, yeah.”
Minghao hoped his exit wasn't too awkward. Maybe it was, but he was too tired to deal with the intricacies of small talk. He changed his sheets quickly, throwing the old sheets into the wash before doing his nightly routine. He crashed into his new, cool sheets and drifted off into dreamland. 
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It was the next morning, and the warmth of the sunlight was seeping in through the cracks between the curtains. He blinks away the sleep from his eyes, rubbing his face into his palms. He sits up and shakes his head to fight off the rest of his fatigue. He was always a morning person, but the jetlag is making it a bit too difficult for him to uphold that. 
His morning routine was simple: shower, get dressed, make-up and hair, breakfast, and out. He rarely breaks from this simple pattern, which consistently makes life easier for him. So it came as a surprise to him that he didn't have to make breakfast this time since his roommate kindly left a portion for him. 
He thinks this is such a nice gesture to leave for the guy who scared her half to death yesterday. Maybe this was a sort of peace offering to make getting along easier? Either way, he won't complain—it's just another thing to make his life a little easier.
His roommate is nowhere to be seen, most likely already on his way to the studio to meet their mentor. So Minghao also leaves the apartment, making sure to lock the door on his way out. He pops his headphones on, listening to his favorite commute playlist with a lightness in his step, his messenger bag slung over his shoulder.
The train ride to the studio was calm; the morning train was much less busy than the afternoon one he took when he arrived, so he got the opportunity to sit down and enjoy the book he recently got. It was a story about two soulmates finding each other in the middle of a city that was new to both of them; he thinks that maybe he's starting to lean into the hopeless romantic stereotype that his friends would always compare him to, which, he could never beat the allegations. 
His mind drifts to his art, and he describes how the romanticization of life became a heavy inspiration for his work. Minghao loves the strokes of color on the canvas as much as he loves life, and his passion for existence weaves itself between the fibers of his canvas.
After being snapped out of his daydreams by the conductor, he feels a sense of deja vu; he finds himself in his head constantly these days. He is always such a dreamer.
The doors of the train open with a mechanical hiss, old rails squeaking under the friction. He thinks the train still needs to go through the desperately needed maintenance. Same train, same. He thought to himself, stuffing his book back into his back with a huff.
Minghao takes in the scenery around him; this part of the city is much less busy than where his apartment was, so he could finally appreciate the city's beauty without the pressure of constantly having to be on the move.
His mentor's building comes into view. It is an older building; the exterior has long since been weathered, but history still makes it gorgeous. He noticed that buildings, most of them having yet to be touched since they were first built, added a charm to an otherwise monotonous city.
He pushes in the door, noting that his only option for getting to the studio is a set of ancient, creaky wooden steps. Minghao is lightheaded from looking at the flight of stairs, so he doesn't bother counting how many floors he has to climb just to get to his mentor. 
I have to climb this every day. I don't need to bother with leg day here. He thought to himself, already making the long trek up the stairs. 
It wasn’t that long—about 5 minutes of walking time—but it felt like an eternity to him. Walking was no issue; walking upstairs? Torture. The first treadmill was a step design, so it may not be an exaggeration. 
Minghao finally reaches the top of the stairwell, pausing to catch his breath in an attempt to look presentable to his mentor and possibly his roommate. He stands by the door for a while, mentally preparing himself for the first day of the program. He arrives earlier than the agreed-upon time, so he's not in a rush to make his presence known.
He takes his water bottle out of his bag, puts cool water in it, and helps his poor self finally calm down from his mini workout. He curses whoever designed this stairwell. A five-story building should have an elevator, and arguing that it doesn't need one feels like a hate crime.
He stops himself before arguing with fictitious architects, who are probably long gone, about how old the building looks. Anyway, he finally has a hand on the doorknob to the studio; taking a deep breath one last time, he twists the knob and pushes the door open, the old wood creaking in protest from the force of him opening it. He cringes internally, the squeak passing straight through his skull, making him want to grind his teeth in annoyance.
Still, he doesn’t show his disdain for this geriatric building on his face since his mentor and roommate both whip their heads around to see him at the doorway. Suddenly, having two sets of eyes on you doesn't help the nerves. 
He offers a polite smile, successfully fighting his grimace with a more pleasant expression. Both his mentor and roommate smile back. He noticed his mentor was a lot more relaxed than when he first met him, which makes sense. He is where he's most comfortable—in his very own studio.
Minghao feels the same about his tiny studio back home. He steps further into the bright studio, closing the door behind him. The studio's top floor and many large windows bring loads of natural light, making it feel more comfortable and inviting. Couple that with the fact that it's in a relatively quiet part of the city, and he feels as if his mentor really put thought into every detail of his permanent studio.
Minghao wonders when he will be able to get the studio of his dreams in his art career, but for now, he admires the studio. His mentor greets him and urges him to explore and get acquainted with the space. Since he'll be spending most of his time here in Amsterdam. Minghao nods, dropping his bag on the cubbies near the door and carefully walking around the studio, avoiding the items and canvases scattered around the floor. His mentor seemed to have an organized chaos mindset, seemingly not bothered by the mess or the health hazard tripping on any of these might cause.
He finds it amusing how much of his mentor he finds out about just from looking around his workspace. He has a husband, married young, it seems. He has twin girls, who he can only assume are grown now. He used to have a dog, a poodle named ‘Cloud’ despite being a black poodle. He made prints of older paintings before sending them off to an auction for fundraisers. He remembers those fundraisers very fondly, it seems. 
Minghao also finds the bathroom and takes note of its location for future use; he’s definitely going to use that. He joins his mentor and roommate by the window, then takes the time to drink their morning coffee and watch the birds. His mentor offers him coffee, but Minghao asks if he has tea. His mentor confirms that he does and points toward his pantry, which is just a wooden cubby that he appropriated to be a pantry after he got tired of getting his snacks off the floor, sighting back pains.
Minghao calmly prepares his tea, passively listening to the conversation between his mentor and roommate. They seem to get along well. Maybe his mentor has some fondness for her because she reminds him of his daughters. He could only guess, though.
Minghao finishes making his tea and finally joins them by the window. “Are you guys birdwatching?” he asks, joining in the conversation. 
“Yes! Mr. Jones was talking about how his youngest loved visiting his studio just to view the birds.” His roommate answers, his mentor confirming it. Though he does mention that she doesn’t visit as often—after all, she has a family of her own now—when she visits, she brings his grandchildren with her, which makes the old man happy. 
He adopted his twin girls pretty early in life, seeing them as inspiration for most of his work. The way his mentor talks about his family and life with so much pride makes Minghao think about his future. He wonders if he’ll ever be as proud of his life as his mentor is, but considering he’ll be learning everything this man can offer, he’s pretty confident about that, at least.
After finishing their morning drinks, his mentor started his first assignment for them, one of many he’d assign throughout the program. His mentor was a patient and calm man. His instruction and tips for injecting emotion into your piece were very cohesive; it was almost like he got it down to a science. His enthusiasm and passion for his work were truly remarkable, and getting to witness it and learn from him felt surreal. 
Minghao feels proud of having the opportunity to have him as a mentor. At the end of the day, instead of feeling exhausted, he's excited to learn more from him tomorrow. 
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You and Minghao are heading home together after a long day with your mentor, walking silently through the streets; you think that maybe he just doesn't like you, seeing how he practically jumps at every accidental graze of your hands with each other.
You don't really blame him either; your first impression wasn't exactly the greatest, seeing as someone cussed you out in the middle of a Chinese restaurant. That impression was a strong one, but unfortunately, not a good one.
Minghao and you shuffle into the same train car, getting pressed together as a consequence of rush hour. You try not to think about what your roommate, who is basically still a stranger to you, feels like. He's warm, and you can definitely feel that he is in shape. You definitely try not to think about how tall he is or how handsome he is.
He's so polite, too, and very gentlemanly. He's always conscious of his movement and language around you, protecting you from being squeezed in this tiny train car without him even noticing. It was basically second nature to him.
Oh, you're never going to survive with this man for a year; you're definitely not going to stay sane with him living with you. Your mind starts reeling, cursing whatever deity thought it was funny to send over a walking wet dream of a roommate to your sex-deprived self. 
You'd hope Minghao doesn't notice how you fought for your life, trying to have decent thoughts. You felt extremely guilty for thinking of him as such, he's just minding his business, and you're acting like some horny teenager. You hope you don't offend him with how much you flinch in every interaction with him. 
The last thing you'd want is for him to think he was the problem.
Luckily for you, Minghao always seemed to be in his head most of the time, mindlessly picking at the stitching of his shirt and spacing out, it seems. At least you don't have to worry about him secretly being a mind-reader. The chances are low, but they're never zero. 
You also take this as an opportunity to start spacing out, looking out the window to watch the buildings and trees pass by quickly, enjoying the golden glow of the setting sun over the city. This scene makes you feel bittersweet, as if another day has passed. 
You wanted nothing more than to crash in your bed and sleep until the next morning, but for now, in the middle of this train car, you had to be vigilant of your surroundings. Not just because you're a newbie to this place but because you absolutely cannot get so distracted that you start to lean into your roommate like some deranged weirdo subconsciously. 
The train conductor announcing your stop seemed to snap both you and Minghao out of your daydreams. “Could I hold onto you? I don't wanna get swept up in this crowd,” you asked politely, unable to meet his eyes.
“Uh, sure, hold on.” He said, adjusting his messenger bag so it doesn't block your reach of his arm.
Minghao navigates the flowing crowd with a form of familiarity. It surprised you how well he managed to adjust to the movement of such a busy city. Then again, he could have already come from a much busier city than Amsterdam. Still, you need to learn more about him to make assumptions.
Minghao weaves the two of you through the crowds and out of the station, successfully reaching fresh air once you make it to a calmer sidewalk that was already near your apartment. You wanted to ask him so many questions. You realistically had a little over a year to do so, yet you know how quickly a year actually goes by, so you wanted to work quickly, but not too quickly, that you scare the poor man away.
Arriving at your apartment, Minghao fishes his keys out of his pocket to unlock the door, opens it, and gestures for you to enter first. You say a small ‘thank you’ before entering, taking your shoes off at the entrance and hanging up your coat.
Minghao follows you after you hear the door click behind you. The shuffling of his items as they are hung indicates that he is settling down for the day.
“Hey, Minghao?” You start, wanting to lead a conversation to eliminate the awkwardness between you and your roommate; he hums, fully turning his body to you as if to signal that he is listening. “I just wanted to know what you thought of Mr. Jones. You know, not as a mentor, but as a person.” You asked, thinking it was a safe place to start getting to know him.
He thinks about it momentarily, “I can't say right now; I've only ever known him as a leading force in the contemporary circle, but other than that? Not much. Judging from his relationship with his daughters, he seems like a good father and good husband, as he still spoke about his husband fondly and was pleasant to be around. But other than that, I don't know.” He shrugged, “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, I don't know,” You answer truthfully, “I like him a lot; he reminds me of my dad somewhat, you know, except maybe less of a religious nut.” You joke, gauging to see Minghao's reaction to it; luckily for you, Minghao finds it funny. Offering a restrained pfft- at your quip.
“Yeah, I get that; my dad was the same too. But I like him a lot less than Mr. Jones.” He said through laughter, running his hands through his hair. “I'll go take a shower; see you around, Y/n.” 
And with that, he disappears into his en-suite. 
You celebrate the tiny progress you made with your roommate, and you get to exchange words with him that aren't just common pleasantries. This motivates you to fan the spark of this new friendship, and maybe more, if you play your cards right.
It's too early to say you liked him, but he is objectively very attractive. So you can't really blame yourself for ogling at him. Respectfully, of course.
You also prepare for your night routine, opting to go through your entire skincare routine for the first time in forever after showering. You put on your best pajamas and tuck yourself into bed, dreaming of the day your hot roommate sees you how you want him to.
Kidding, not really.
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Minghao has yet to learn what he's doing.
He'd been staring blankly at his canvas for what seemed like a solid 20 minutes, these inner thoughts fighting for dominance and splattering their metaphorical blood all over the pristine canvas.
He wanted to paint something so badly, but alas, getting struck with a severe art block on the second day of his mentorship felt like a sick joke from fate. His mentor watches over their shoulders, monitoring their progress. He seemed to notice Minghao's growing frustration from being stuck, “I think you should take a break, son. You should enjoy some tea by the window and clear your mind to make room for new ideas.” he said gently with a hand on Minghao’s shoulder.
Minghao agrees with him, finally setting his brush down to make his tea as usual before getting comfortable on one of the chairs by the window. He watches the trees sway in the wind, the birds playing on a random rooftop, and the clouds drifting slowly. All of these help calm his racing mind, which is preoccupied with so many things to think about that he doesn't have room to think about new ideas.
Minghao has a nasty habit of overthinking and holding onto ideas that no longer serve him a purpose. He thinks back to the first time he did this, the day he decided to become an artist. He's always known that he wanted to be an artist. He was eight at the time, telling his parents about his dreams for the future. 
Unfortunately, they disapproved of such plans. The first thought Minghao ever held onto was, “You need to aspire to get a real job, not just some useless skill that will leave you with no money.”
The second thought Minghao held onto happened at around the age of 17, just before graduating high school. He decided not to go to college, seeing that he still held out hope that he could become a great artist one day. He wanted to prioritize honing his skills, and his parents, once again, didn't approve of that.
That was the first time he ever felt fear from his parents. Before, he was only met with stern lecturing and maybe being grounded, but he never saw his dad that angry before or ever since. Since that day, Minghao has held onto the following: “If you're going to choose to throw your life away, then so be it. Just don't come crawling back here when you end up on the streets!”
Minghao doesn't want to recall the last thought he held onto; the memory is still fresh and feels like a weapon being used against him. He wished it didn't turn out that way, but it did. And there's nothing he could do to change the facts.
Minghao savors the flavors of his tea before finally trying his best to get rid of all those thoughts he holds onto. He's far away from his parents, far away from the people who could hurt him, and far away from the past.
He finally stops overthinking as soon as he sets his cup down, wiping off his palms on his pants before joining his roommate and mentor again. His head was finally free of any troubles he might've had. But he knows he's never truly free, only temporarily setting it aside to focus on his current goals.
He feels a sense of pride while he is painting this time. Strokes of vibrant color dance across the weaving of the canvas, and his brush glides smoothly and freely across it, finding a path of its own, making its mark like it was always meant to do.
In a way, it was freeing to paint without the pressure of making it look ‘good’, Minghao only had to focus on laying a color down the way it wanted to lay, and this show of emotion sparked a flame of determination in Minghao that he thought he lost so long ago.
Minghao finally sees the colors for what they are again, and in a way, he starts falling in love with creating again. His joy is evident on his face, and the controlled strokes slowly turn into free ones with every passing moment. 
He looks away from his canvas once to look at you, and he smiles the biggest smile you've ever seen on him. And you realize his smile is contagious, absolutely stunning in a way you've never felt before.
That smile was detrimental to your poor little heart, your small crush on him only worsening. You think it's a bit unfair that the universe had to dangle such a gorgeous specimen in front of you. You didn't even have an idea if he was single or not. He could have a wife and kids back home and you'd be none the wiser.
Still, you enjoy his company while you can. After all, it's not like you applied for this mentorship just to mingle. You were here to learn under a great artist, and to gain the experiences necessary to advance your career and skill.
Having a hot roommate is a nice touch, though.
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“Hey Minghao?” You ask from the living room, looking up from your book to look at him in your tiny kitchen. 
“Yeah?” He replied, not looking up from the stove. It was the weekend, and Minghao offered to make dinner as you’ve been making breakfast for the past few days.
“Are you in a relationship? If you don’t mind me asking.” You asked, the question has been bugging you for a while now, ever since you realized your tiny crush. You’d feel incredibly guilty if he was in a relationship and you tried shooting your shot with him.
“No. But why do you ask?” He said simply, focusing more of his attention to not burning the food. Stir-frying the noodles with familiarity.
“Nothing, I just thought about it.” You paused, “We’re friends, right?” You finished with a question, thinking that maybe your line of questioning might be too much for someone who doesn’t even consider you more than a roommate.
“Of course. I like your company, I don’t have a reason to try and alienate you.” He said, now with more focus on you as he turned the fire of the stove down. Plating your food in one of the plates your apartment came with.
“Cool. We’re cool.” You said a little awkwardly, thinking that maybe your questioning was a bit too on the nose. Even if he wasn’t a mind-reader, he’ll surely be able to tell that you’re interested in him just from your weird line of questioning in recent days. Surely Minghao isn’t dense.
Minghao called you over to your dining room table, saying that dinner was already served. You rise from your comfortable position on the couch, making your way over to the tiny table in the space between the living room and kitchen.
“I hope you like the food, it's something I always used to make in college. It was one of the few luxuries I could afford, but it’s still very delicious,” he said, serving you a portion before taking some for himself.
“Thank you for making dinner. This looks amazing, I’m honored to try it.” You said, taking in the sight of the food that Minghao made with care. Minghao feels a sense of pride from your praise, sure, he’s not the best cook, but he’s definitely proud of the progress he made in recent years. 
Cooking was one of the first skills Minghao had to learn when he got kicked out of his parents’ place. Having focused all his energy on studying before, he only really had the time to learn how to take care of himself once he was on his own.
Watching you eat his food enthusiastically made Minghao unexpectedly happy. Sharing something he was proud of is often how he tries to get close to people, the little piece of vulnerability made him feel closer to them, like offering a piece of himself to them.
To you, this may have felt like a simple dinner, a meal between two friends in the comfort of their own home. But to Minghao, this was him accepting you into his space. Finally being comfortable enough to associate you to a dish he holds almost sacred.
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The days easily turned into weeks, weeks into months, and before you knew it, it's already six months into your mentorship program. The days began to blur into each other, the most interesting thing that happened in the six months was your budding relationship with your roommate, whom you found out to be as much of a hopeless romantic as you are.
Your weekdays were spent at the studio, diligently working under your mentor and improving your art. While your weekdays were spent unwinding and spending time with your new friend. Minghao's taste in movies doesn't differ much from yours, opting to watch romantic movies with happy endings. 
It was during one of these movie nights that Minghao asked you a question, “Do you believe in true love? ‘The one’, so to speak. Someone that is a perfect fit for you as you are to them.”
You think about this question for a bit, “Yeah, I do. It's a little silly to ask for perfection, but if someone is perfect to you, I think that's pretty plausible. Though, I do think true love is more of a choice than just aimlessly searching for them, you know?” You answered carefully, eyes still glued to the tv screen.
“I see,” Minghao started, “do you have an idea what your ‘one’ might be like?” He asked, this time a little more determined to get a more pointed answer from you.
“Not necessarily, but I already have a feeling that I know them already.” You said, relaxing and leaning back onto the couch, “Or, at least I hope I do. And I hope they see me like that too.” You sighed, wishful thinking taking over you again.
Over time, your little crush on Minghao had grown into a genuine romantic interest, especially since learning that he was single a few weeks ago, you started to see him in a different light. Almost as if the confirmation of his availability gave your subconscious the green light to start thirsting over him like a horny teenager.
It also didn’t help that he got comfortable enough to walk around the house shirtless, or worse, with just a towel loosely around his hips, sitting low as he’s fresh out of the shower. This put you in a loop, almost all thoughts being occupied by him in a sick and twisted way.
Some days, you convince yourself that Minghao does this on purpose, trying to kill you in the reflection of the light from his sweet, wet abs.
“Y/n?” He said, breathless. With a whiny tone in his naturally airy voice. 
“Hao? You’re back from your run?” You ask from the kitchen. Trying not to think about how delicious his voice sounded.
“Yeah, I picked up some bread on the way back. Thought it’s go well with the soup you’re making.” He replied as he placed a paper bag of fresh bread on the counter. You turn away from the stove to check out the selection he brought back.
“Hm, you got good taste. I didn’t expect any less.” You say with a proud smile, Minghao’s chest fills with a sense of pride as well. It was always validating to hear from someone else that they trusted your judgment.
The two of you had the day off today, your mentor visiting his daughters somewhere on the other side of the country. Giving the two of you free reign to settle chores that you haven’t been keeping up with.
Minghao offers to help you set the table, but you tell him to take a shower first. Letting that sweat dry on him might make him sick. Or worse, sticky.
He laughs that off, “Oh please, I think you’d want that.” He said suggestively. 
That was a new development too. Minghao is getting bolder with his jokes. His jokes were always tasteful, never trying to push your boundaries. But sometimes you wish he did, just so you’d have the excuse to tell him how much you wanted him.
But for now, with Minghao not showing any interest in acting upon his suggestive jokes, you swallow down the urge to jump his bones. For now, at least.
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Your mentor returned from his family visit the next day, with an assignment for both of you. 
Sitting in the studio as usual, your mentor explains what your assignment entails, and how it’ll most likely span the rest of your time here in Amsterdam. He took it upon himself to assign it as a final project for the two of you, finishing this would finish their apprenticeship.
“A local cathedral reached out to me looking for my services. They wanted a mural painted for the interior because it started to look a little too clean after renovations. I think this would be a good opportunity for the two of you to show me what you’ve learned. I give you half a year to finish it, and then, you’ll be done with your mentorship.” He said, voice wispy like a proud father recalling the time when his children were just small, not looking at them, all grown up, he can’t help but tear up.
You and Minghao look at each other, unable to fathom this amazing opportunity that has presented itself to you. You and Minghao eagerly accept the offer, excitedly heading out to check out the said church so you two can plan out what to do for the mural.
The people attending the church are already briefed on the situation, happily showing you around their shiny new church, happy to find new artists to commission for this project. You and Minghao take photos of the interior, wanting to plan around the implements and fixtures, to give everything a cohesive look.
You and Minghao do this for hours walking around the city to look for inspiration along the way, taking in all the sights you didn’t have the chance to take in before. The city was filled with inspiration, ideas flowed out the both of you like a river, and it was so easy to find passion for this project. With a giant canvas and free reign to paint whatever, you and Minghao felt like kids at a candy store.
But suddenly, the sky started to grumble, clouds darkening in a tell-tale way. You hadn’t anticipated the rain, so you both scramble to find shelter as the rain starts to pour. Taking shelter under the awning of an abandoned shop, you both watch as the rain pools and puddles around you. You turn to Minghao, he was a little damp but relatively dry, water dripping from his hair, soaking into his clothes. His mouth was slightly parted from panting, the unexpected run knocked the wind out of both of you.
 At that moment, Minghao looked delectable.
“Hao?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I kiss you?”
He only smiles at your question, leaning down to softly press his lips to yours. He had an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, pressing his body to yours. You can feel the warmth of his skin radiating under his clothes, warming you up from the chill of the rain. 
You felt a little light-headed, not just from the lack of air, but because you didn’t expect a random blurt of your desire would lead to Minghao kissing you breathlessly. Not that you’re complaining, not at all, in fact, this made you want him more, softly moaning against his lips before pulling away, remembering that you’re in public. 
“Oh, wow, um.” You start, heads still spinning from the dizzying kiss Minghao had pulled you into. 
He just laughed his signature laugh, joy coursing through his veins. How could he not be happy? An amazing opportunity to advance his career, getting to spend the day in the city with someone he cares deeply for, and getting to kiss her in the rain? Oh, he’s weak in the knees.
This day was perfect, you were perfect. Minghao couldn’t ask for anything more.
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You and Minghao started the mural for the cathedral, buzzing with excitement for your first big project, as well as your budding romantic relationship with him. The two of you work on opposite ends of the mural, working to meet each other halfway, and taking the time to get the details down before moving on to the next section. 
In a way, this was reminiscent of how you and Minghao are taking the steps to make this relationship work. Though unlikely that you’d meet like this, you still did, and you’d like to believe it was fate. Both of you agreed not to put a label on it just yet, just enjoying each other's company, and exploring the possibilities of this new romance.
You sneak glances at him every so often, his face scrunched in concentration, focusing on perfecting the sections of the mural he assigned himself to. And sometimes, when he looks back at you, his face instantly relaxes and glows. You love how expressive his face is, almost as if you could tell what he was thinking about at any point. It comforts you how open he is, knowing that he looks at you with genuine affection and adoration. It's fun, it's freeing to feel this way about someone who feels just as strongly.
The two of you worked on the mural until lunch when the two of you decided to take a short break, “Maybe I’ll take this opportunity to take you out on a proper date.” He said cheekily, offering his arm for you to hold.
“Oh, that’d be great. We keep passing by this one restaurant that I’ve been dying to try.” It was an open-concept place, clean and modern but it didn't give off “steak dinner” vibes, it just seemed like a nice sit-down place to have lunch or brunch, if you’re of the local housewife type.
Asking the waitress at the front for a table for two, the two of you were promptly seated at a table facing the street, offering the both of you the menu. Apparently, the menu changes seasonally, this time they offered a variety of vegan dishes, which intrigued you. You never realized vegetables could be cooked in so many different ways.
Your food was served, and the conversation between you and Minghao flowed like free orange juice refills. You both enjoy your lunch, more than you usually do, you don’t know if the food was actually good, or if the company just made it better, but either way, you don’t think you could enjoy a meal without Minghao anymore.
He’s just so charming, kind, and funny. So, so funny. The tables around you started to look at you two funny for all the giggles coming from your table specifically. The restaurant being open-air doesn’t even help to dampen the sounds of your joy, even the hustle and bustle of the street fade to the background with him. It’s just you, and Minghao, and the delicious veggies the two of you decided to have for lunch.
Lunch was over before you realized it. Minghao flags down the waitress, asking for the bill and paying for it himself, much to your protests. Yet, those fall on deaf ears as he winks at you. Offering his arm for you to take again before walking back to the cathedral to continue working on your mural.
The two of you continue to act like love-struck fools, much to the church staff’s chagrin, but it's not like either of you cared, you enjoy his company, and you, his. You haven’t brought up the kiss from before, but you wanted to, mainly to ask him for another one. 
Minghao really wasn’t the type for much skinship, but it’s not as if he’s opposed to it. If you asked, he’d comply. He’s willing to do many things for you, or with you. Minghao thinks it’s too early to call it love, definitely, but it’s really really close to it.
He adores you to no end, no words could describe how much you became an important part of his life in just a few short months. And getting to work with you on this? He almost couldn’t believe it.
Growing up, he always thought love like this only happened in movies or books. But he’s living it right now. He’s living in Europe, doing what he loves the most, and finding an unexpected light in his life. Maybe life does have things worth worrying about. 
Still, ever present in Minghao’s thoughts, is the sinking feeling of anxiety. It’s ugly, rearing its head whenever it can. The last time he felt this strongly about something, it nearly broke him. Minghap always felt too hard, nothing is ever ‘just’ happy or ‘just’ sad for him. His loyalty and devotion is both a blessing and a curse. 
And yet, he still believes in love.
He’s a hopeless romantic, even if it’s scary, even if it’ll hurt, he still holds onto hope that he could get away with it. Making a religion of your lips, worshiping the false god that is your adoration for each other.
It’s ironic to think like that in the middle of a cathedral he thinks, yet, he’s not guilty, not after what the church has done to him, to his once level-headed father.
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It was another day of working on the mural, this time, you and Minghao worked until the late hours of the night, until all the church staff bid both of you goodnight, leaving you two to work in the dim light of the chandelier.
“Hey, have I ever told you that this is the first time I went inside a church since I was seventeen?” Minghao started, concentrating on his section of the mural, painting the rosy cheeks of a cherub.
“Huh? No, you haven’t. Why did you stop going to church? If you don’t mind me asking.” You said, a little startled from being broken out of your concentration.
“It’s simple really, my values didn’t align with the church anymore. And, I may have been  in love with a man at the time.” He joked, chuckling at the end of his sentence as if he was reminiscing about something humorous. 
You nod, “You know, I haven’t been in a church for about as long.” you say, setting your brush down to continue speaking, taking a short break to avoid cramping your hand. “I didn’t like how I was basically brainwashed all my life to devote my time and soul to the church, I didn’t feel a connection to religion anymore, not after what my group told me after what that priest did to me.”
Minghao’s expression softened, shoulders dropping with his grip on the brush relaxing. “That’s terrible, I’m sorry that happened to you.” He said, also resting his brush. He walked towards you, offering a hand to help you get off the floor. You take his hand, muttering thanks, and you follow him to the back of the church, in the pews nearest to the altar.
“You know, sometimes I feel as if some unknown force led us to meet each other.” Minghao started, “Think about it, how is it that we’re the only two people in the mentorship program, and how have we managed to fit together so perfectly? I think,” Minghao pauses to lick his lips, “if it were anyone else, I wouldn’t have felt this way about them.” 
“I know that confession was a little misplaced, especially after what you just told me. But I just wanted to give you context for my offer,” He said, taking your hand, the warmth of his palm radiating to yours, warming it up, “I want to give your power back to you, I like you a lot, too much really. Ever since that first day, you made me breakfast. And I’d do anything to take that pain away from you.”
“Minghao…” You said, “I like you a lot too. I’m flattered by your confession, and so moved by your offer. But I can’t seem to figure out what your offer is supposed to mean.” 
“You were attacked at a church, violently, as if your body wasn’t yours for a time. I want to override those memories with ours, make it your choice. To have an outlet for your anger.”
You openly gape at him, not believing his offer. He wanted to…?
“Minghao, I want you.” 
It felt cathartic to say that, especially in a place you’d never think to say that. It was satisfying as if a weight had been lifted from you, the burden of memory weighing on your chest being removed, like the first time you could breathe freely again.
Mingahao gently cups your cheek, stroking the flushed skin with the pad of his thumb, slowly turning your head to face him, his lips hovering over yours, “I want you too.” He said before locking lips with you. 
Your hands immediately find their place at the back of his neck, fingers threading to the soft ends of his hair, pressing him closer to you, the warmth of his body radiating through his clothes. Your skin felt hot, like desire was just boiling under your skin, blooming on the surface as a flush of red. Minghao crowds you, kissing you with want, with need. He kissed you, letting his hands do what his lips wanted to, his faith turning into despair. The tragedy of not having a taste of your skin yet, swirls in his gut, manifesting in desperation. He kissed you with urgency, as if this was the only chance to have you like this, his greed taking over his thoughts as it filled his mind with images of you in the most depraved positions, your usually clean image tainted with evidence of his lust.
After all, Minghao is just a man, a man who now finds religion in your lips.
He reluctantly parts from you, surprising you with his strength but lifting you suddenly, walking the short way to the altar. His plans dawn on you as soon as you feel the cool marble under you, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you lock your lips with his again, moaning pathetically and the feeling of his palms snaking their way under your shirt, squeezing and kneading the flesh, taking handfuls of it as he needed it.
He parts from your lips with a whine, panting for air like just running a marathon. He only parts from you for a second, only for his mouth to connect with your jaw, placing open-mouthed kisses on it. Goosebumps litter your skin, his simple touch leaves you shivering in a way you didn’t think was possible. Your legs part and Minghao takes his place between them, now sucking and biting marks into your skin, maroon blooms all over your collarbones, as you pull him impossibly close, bodies flush together perfectly as if it was always meant to be.
You paw at his jacket, wanting to feel him without the barriers of fabric between the two of you. He frantically shrugged his jacket off, and pulled his shirt over his head without being prompted, using his weight to press you down into the marble altar. Takes his time to unbutton your shirt, kissing the skin with every button he undoes.
Warmth ripples under your skin like drops hitting the surface of a still body, each kiss sending a spark of heat directly to your core. Simple, but powerful. The way Minghao delicately worships your skin made a sense of serenity wash over you like a wave, crashing over your restless state.
Minghao rises to meet your lips, again, swallowing the sound of your moans, nipping at your lips. His hard cock presses into your core through his pants, layers of fabric between the places where you needed each other the most. Desperation turns into slight relief from the pressure of your bodies pressing together. 
He takes his time to strip you of your effects, taking time to peel it off of you with care. This is the first time he's seen you in such a compromising position, yet you don't feel pressured or nervous at all. The way he looks at you, it's as if you hung the stars in the sky one by one, just for you to take them in your eyes, a galaxy of secrets waiting to be uncovered; and you're willing to let him explore.
Minghao falls to his knees, fingers pressing into the flesh of your thighs. He presses kisses on your kneecap, slowly inching his way to your core, lips brushing against your skin, making you shiver. You watch as his head of hair reaches the apex of your thighs, placing a kiss on your pelvis, right above where you need him.
He looks up at you briefly, eyes locking with yours as if asking for permission to just dive right in. You nod, giving him the silent permission to do so. He smiles, his eyes fluttering shut as his mouth connects with your core, lips wrapping around your throbbing clit.
Your back arches from the marble, hands frantically searching for his head, threading your fingers through his hair to get a grip on anything. The way the wet muscle that was his tongue guided the swirl of hot desire in your stomach made you dizzy, his eyes shut tightly, and small whimpers left his lips, making you feel the vibrations.
He ate you like a starved man, “Oh, fuck, please-! Keep going!” The frantic pace of his mouth and tongue got more desperate with your praise, your encouragement made him press his face closer to your core, his jose bumping your clit, making him breathe in deep, taking in your scent.
His eyes flutter open at the smell, eyes rolling to the back of his head, and a pathetic, high-pitched whine leaves his lips. His tongue pressed against the spongey spot in your walls, immediately this sends a shiver down your spine, your moans turning into desperate whines, grinding on his mouth.
And Minghao just stops to take it, exaggerating his moans to help you over the edge.
A knot starts to form in your core, only a mixture of pleas of his name leaves your lips as you topple over the edge, reaching your high. Your orgasm was blinding, a hot, white pleasure ripped through you, your body shaking from the impact of such a powerful climax.
Minghao groans as he savors the flavor of your release, drinking it like a sacred Ambrosia. He delicately licks at your folds, careful not to bump into your sensitive clit.
After being satisfied with cleaning you up, Minghao starts to unbuckle his belt, his pants hanging low on his hips. He finally takes his cock out of his boxer briefs, the tip is red and bulbous, angry and leaking. His mouth parts with a moan, licking his plump lips, finally getting the friction he so desperately wanted.
He gets on top of you, his warmth radiating off of him in waves. He brings a hand up to brush your hair away from your face, soaking up every detail, committing the look in your eyes to memory. He looks at you with adoration, eyes clouded with lust yet still shines with the respect he has for you as a person.
In his eyes you were perfect, especially with that fucked-out look on your face, panting and shaking under him.
He kisses you again, this time with less desperation. You could taste yourself on his lips, highlighting your desire for more. He finally guides his cock to your entrance, the tip of it bumping into your clit, a gasp falling from your lips.
You look up at Minghao, a halo of many colors forming around his head, the cross-shaped stained glass behind him glowing brightly in the full moonlight. If it wasn't for the depraved things he's done to you, you'd think that he looked angelic.
Finally, he slowly pushed his cock into you, a shaky breath leaving his lips, taking every ounce of self-control to not start frantically thrusting into you, letting you take the time to adjust to his size. Minghao was bigger than you thought he'd be, the sheer size of his cock stretching you deliciously. 
He pressed your foreheads together, your breathing synchronized. You open your hand on his chest, pressing your palm over his heart, you can feel the steady beating of it, and you can feel him breathe with you. The silence only amplified the feeling of being connected, a kind of vulnerability that you’ve never felt with anyone else before.
You savor his warmth, his closeness to you, before asking him to move. He nods wordlessly, not trusting his voice at the moment. He was buried to the hilt, but he slowly started to pull back until only his head stayed inside you, only to push back in, a wet, lewd squelch of your juices mixing with his echo and rung in your ears.
He started to pick up his pace, intertwining your hands together to gain leverage. “Fuck, you feel so good babe, so warm. So perfect for me.” He said lowly, mind emptying all thoughts except for the feeling of you around him. He can't get enough of you, your image infecting his mind, making a home in every crevice. 
Both of you were very vocal about how good it felt, pleasure rising to a pressure that made both of you light-headed, your grip on his hand tightening with every pointed thrust to the spot where you needed him the most.
His lips meet your neck again, more maroon marks blooming over your skin, marking you with evidence of him. He separated from the skin with a wet pop, his nose brushing against your cheek, his hair tickling the skin, “Please, I need you to cum around my cock. Don't make me beg for it, please, oh- please-” he whimpered in your ear, breathless from the force he was using. 
He turns to kiss you again, both of you swallowing each other's whines and moans as your desperation grows stronger. 
Soon, the coil in your stomach starts to tighten again, you can't hear much over the ringing in your ears, but you do hear the wet slapping of skin together, and the ragged breathing coming from the man above you. You barely registered your own orgasm, you felt like you weren't in your body, like your soul was floating in the space where you felt neither pain nor pleasure. 
Tears ran down your face, your body shaking like a leaf. Minghao watched as your juices squirted out of you, coating his cock and legs with your release. This violently sends him into his own orgasm, barely catching himself with the altar as the force of it knocks the wind out of him, his knees shaking, barely able to hold his weight up.
He almost collapsed into you with how much his body couldn't handle the sensations, his hips never ceasing even with both of your oversensitivity.
He finally stops, both of you winded from the intensity of your sex. He kisses you with finality that night, right at the altar with the light of the cross over you.
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It's been months since you and Minghao started the mural, and also started hooking up. The first time you slept with him was certainly not the last. You were sure you desecrated every inch of this sacred space, as well as every corner of your shared apartment. 
But, all good things come to an end. 
Today was the day you finally added the finishing touches to the mural, marking the end of your program, and the end of your time in Amsterdam. 
Your mentor was pleased with how it turned out, he was proud of how far the both of you have gotten in your skills. And decided to throw a party in his studio to celebrate the completion of your final project. 
You and Minghao skirt around the idea of what will happen next after the program ends, enjoying the company of your mentor and the few friends you've made in Amsterdam. 
It was after the party that things finally started to feel grim, each item you packed into your suitcase felt like heavy weights or a nail in the coffin of your relationship with Minghao.
You couldn't fathom going back to reality, back to your lonely apartment without the anticipation of waking up and making breakfast for him. 
You realized too late that you loved him.
“What happens to us now?” His question surprised you, you didn't think he was thinking about this as hard as you were. 
“Well, we go back to where we came from. Go on with our lives, I guess.” You reply, too cowardly to admit what you truly felt, as it'll only hurt more.
“That's it?” He asked incredulously, “You don't want to even try to make this work?” His tone wasn't one of anger or disappointment, Minghao had always been an expressive person, but this was something worse. Hurt.
“Minghao I-” You start, but he cuts you off,
“Well, you know what? Okay. It's okay- just… if there's ever a next time. Meet me in Amsterdam. Please, at least, try for me?”
You nod, your breathing becoming shaky as tears begin to well in your eyes. You hug him tightly, almost as if it'll be the last time you ever see him.
But no, there will be a next time. No matter how long it'll take.
You let the tears fall when the plane finally took off. 
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It's been several years since your time in Amsterdam, your experience there marked you in more ways than one. 
Your art career found success after the mural you worked on with him received critical acclaim. Opening galleries and exhibits all around the world, people enjoy the art you made greatly. 
You find yourself in the place where it all started, Amsterdam. 
“So, there really is a next time, huh?” You said, your voice was calmer than you expected it to be, especially with being overcome with such intense emotions.
Minghao smiles at you, wordlessly coming in to hug you.
“I'm not letting you go, not this time.”
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359 notes · View notes
criminalyun · 6 months ago
Text
cool for the summer | s.jaeyun
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pairing: sim jaeyun x fem!reader
summary: having a crush on your brothers best friend for four years was never easy — especially having to deal with not only the strict rule your brother put in place of not dating his friends, but also his best friend being a playboy. what happens when summer arrives and your brother, jay, returns to your families holiday home with not only a new friend, but also his best friend, jake sim, and this time, he’s different.
genre: brothers best friend au, slow burn, forbidden romance, fluff, angst, smut
warnings: minors dni, jake smokes, alcohol, second lead jungwon :(, slight cheating?? (they don’t kiss whilst in a relationship but there’s flirty behavior!!), jake is a bit of a dick icl, dry humping which will is kinda public??, making out, fighting, name calling
word count: 32k
taglist: @cloud-lyy @sussycheetos @eneiyri @jaeyunzlovr @crimnalseung @skzesty @jvjsssnaa @slut4hee @304files @peachyun02 @laurradoesloveu @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @niinjo @heelovesmeknot @kissestoenha @cha0thicpisces @run2min @parksunghoonsgf @moonnssun @nshmrarki @seokseokjinkim @kookify @minniejenseo @capri-cuntz @chaeyunloveeee @brachives @kimsunoops
published: may 6th 2024
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Growing up being Jay Park's younger sister was never easy. Having to put up with the constant teasing was something you despised at times when it wasn't funny, being ganged up on by Jay and his friends wasn't ideal, and having to deal with the numerous flings he'd bring home was annoying. You hated having to wear the boys hand-me downs, and absolutely hated having to watch his programs all night when he took over the tv.
Though, there were positives about being his younger sister. He was funny (at times), and you always knew you were well protected when in school. You enjoyed it when he'd allow you to join him in a video game and actually include you in things — and, you especially liked the fact his best friend was Jake Sim.
There was something about the brunette haired boy that made you feel drawn to him. You weren’t sure if it was because of his contagious, gummy smile, or because he would spoil you rotten, or if it was because you knew that he (specifically out of all of Jay's friends) was off limits to you ever having a relationship with.
Jake was well known around the area you lived. He would constantly be out partying during his high school days, and messing around with many girls — far too many to count. It even got to a point where his parents were becoming frustrated with their sons behavior, so the Sim boy started bringing his flings back to your home. He was also captain of the Football team which was practically a Venus Flytrap for the girls in his year.
And yet, despite the boy's reputation and behavior, you still found yourself wanting him like all the others girls did. You loved his sweet, innocent eyes and his plump lips — and definitely his dark, brown locks of thick hair. You also loved that despite his playboy tendencies, he was always kind and respectful to you because after all, you were his best friends baby sister. He saw you like a sister of his own and you hated that.
The old you, at least.
After both Jake and Jay left for Australia in January, neither of the boys had returned to Korea on their breaks due to hectic schedules — which was perfect for you, because that gave you more time to get over the Sim boy and work on yourself.
As the months went by, and you began to relish life to its fullest, you started to forget about Jake Sim. He went from being in your mind as soon as you woke up in the morning, to only sprouting up whenever the words 'playboy', or 'Jay's best friend' was brought up.
Besides Jake, you started focusing more on yourself — though, you did take the advice Jake once gave on maintaining your good grades because now that you were in your final year of high school, you were thriving. Even with you being at the top of your class, you were no longer seen as the 'nerd' because according to your classmates, you had the visuals to make up for the name.
You’d grown into your looks a lot, and thanks to the numerous videos you’d stay up late to would watch about skin care on YouTube, your skin began looking fresh and healthy — and almost pimple free.
You started wearing makeup after a immature boy in your class made fun of your acne, and from then on, it became a daily task to apply more and more. Your techniques had improved tons as time went on and you’d gotten use to wearing it every day for school (which you did hate putting on so early in the morning).
So now, as you packed away your paintbrushes into the flimsy case at your art club, you had a wide smile on your pink, glossy lips whilst listening to something your best friend, Niki, had shared.
Ever since joining the art club in February of that year and meeting Nishimura Riki — or Niki as he likes to go by — you two instantly became close despite the small age gap you shared. You had many things in common and had almost the exact same humor. You bounced off of each other.
"I can't wait to meet your brother tomorrow." Niki announced, washing the paintbrushes in the paint covered sink as you had moved to stand beside him so that you could dry the brushes off.
Immediately, a smile tugged at the corner of your lips at the thought of your older brother. You hadn't seen him since January — and it was now August. That was the longest time the Park siblings had ever gone without seeing each other, and despite you both constantly bickering and teasing one another, you still missed Jay.
The Park family were going on your annual holiday to your holiday home in Jeju Island. It was something you did every year since you’d turned three. You went so often, that you even had a few close friends over their.
You were excited this year more than ever, because you were going to see your brother again, however, you knew Jake would be joining, and just the thought of him made your heart beat nervously against your chest.
Though, after begging your mother and father to allow you to also bring a friend, they eventually gave in, and without a doubt you’d asked Niki to join you on the getaway trip.
"And I can't wait to meet Mr. Jake Sim." Niki teased, wiggling his eyebrows and he wriggled his body and nudged his best friend, causing your eyes to widen slightly at the said boys name.
You had almost forgotten about him...
"Don't even, Niki," You chuckled out a warning, rolling your eyes as you put away the now clean objects. "I definitely hyped him up too much when we first met — now, he's just ew." You scrunched your face up in disgust, though, what you were feeling inside wasn't matching up right with what you were saying.
You felt guilty — like Jake was in the same room as you and heard you, hurting his feelings. You knew deep down you’d lied to Niki. Jake Sim wasn't 'ew', he was far from it.
"Now, I know you're lying." Niki shook his head disappointedly as he wiped his hands on the towel. "You know you do this thing with your eyebrows, you twitch —"
"Oh, shut up, Niki." You jokingly hit the boy with the damp cloth, making him laugh as you walked away to collect your things. "I'm not lying — Jake isn't as perfect as I once thought he was. He's a player and doesn't know how to treat girls right."
You were shocked at the words that were leaving your mouth. Never in your four years of knowing Jake Sim did you think you would be speaking about him the way you were — but here you were, removing your apron, ranting to your best friend about him.
"Good—" Niki nodded, a smile of proudness on his lips as he too, removed his apron. "You're too good for boys like him." He shrugged and you couldn't help but smile at his words. You would always love and appreciate his words of affirmation.
"So that's why, when we go to Jeju, you're going to find a Summer fling." He grinned mischievously, instantly making you scoff and knock your shoulder into him as you rolled your eyes again.
"No, thank you." You shook her head. "I'm done with boys for now. I'm going to wait for after high school — then I can get a man." You chuckled and so did Niki.
"Whatever you say, y/n." Niki said, a breathy laugh falling from his lips as they exited the art club and out into the Sunmer evening, both equally excited for the next few weeks to come.
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The hot summer air blew through the open window and down onto you, blowing your hair uncontrollably as you flicked through the book you were currently reading.
You released an exasperated sigh and rested your head back against the head rest, turning your head away from your book and out to the open window that showed the blue ocean. You had landed in Jeju Island not long ago, and now you were on your way to the holiday home.
It was supposed to be an exciting journey, with you on the edge of your seat, wishing you could just teleport to the home instead of waiting out the rather long car ride, however this time round, it was completely the opposite.
You thought that you were excited for the holiday considering you’d be able to see your brother and have your best friend with you, but that wasn't the case. You could feel a pit of anxiety in the bottom of your stomach, making you feel sick as the thought of Jake Sim continued to appear in your head.
You didn't want to think of him — you really didn't, but just the thought of seeing him again after eight months made your heart pound against your chest. Had he changed much? Did he still play with girls' hearts? Was he still as hot as ever? The questions were nonstop, and making your head begin to ache.
Eventually, you let out a groan, growing fed up of picturing the boys face, and so you shut your book before glancing over at the Nishimura boy, who was fast asleep with his mouth slightly parted and his AirPods in his ears. You couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of him and let out a sigh, before leaning your head on his shoulder.
Sleep would be the best option to get through the duration of the long, Jake-filled, car ride.
After a little while, your eyes opened as soon as you felt the car come to a permanent stop, and instantly, you sat up, rubbing your eyes as you heard Niki tiredly sigh and your parents gasps of excitement.
Quickly, once the sleep had evacuated both of the teenagers' bodies, you hurriedly left the car, the heat hitting you immediately, however that was the least of your worries as your eyes landed on your older brother, Jay Park.
You grinned wildly as you watched him reunite with your parents. From what you could see, he hadn't changed much. Other than his hair — which was now an unnatural silver shade, instead of his natural brunette colour, though it still managed to suit him as it complimented his features.
"Is that y/n Park?" You heard Jay tease once he pulled away from the hug he was in with his father and turned to look at you and your new appearance. "My baby sister?"
A laugh fell from your lips as you broke out into a slight jog towards him, and quickly you engulfed one another into a hug. Never in your lives did you imagine yourselves ever hugging, yet here you were in the middle of Jeju, happy to see one another again.
"Nice to see you again, y/n." He smiled as you pulled away, and you bobbed your head in agreement, before your eyes landed on the unknown boy beside Jay. He had black hair, and despite being under the suns gaze, his skin was as white as snow, and his face was also decorated with a few small moles. His lips were plump and his nose was straight and looked as perfect as ever.
"Y/n, this is Sunghoon, a friend we met at College." Jay introduced, and Sunghoon sent you a small smile, to which you quickly mirrored.
You parted your lips to welcome the taller boy more, but before that could happen, you felt your breathing hitch as soon as you heard a familiar laugh.
His laugh.
Jake Sim’s laugh.
You gulped nervously, and glanced over to the front door of the holiday home, where Jake was leaving from. His hair was now black instead of brown, and he looked older, like he'd grown out of his baby face phase, and he looked far more mature... and way more attractive.
Your heartbeat pounded ferociously against your chest as you watched him walk down the porch steps, gracefully — however, the trance you were once in was soon broken as your eyes landed on the girl walking beside him, laughing along with him.
She was beautiful — very beautiful. She was slim and tall, and her skin was sunkissed. Her eyes were sharp and hazel and shined against the sun. Her lips were plump and a similar shape to a heart and her nose was button like and had a perfect slope. Her face was dotted with many freckles and her makeup was done neatly and perfectly. The girls hair was long and blonde and straight with a slight kink in it. She truly was flawless.
"Y/n?" Jake called out, a grin on his lips as soon as his eyes landed on you and as you looked away from the blonde girl beside him and at him, you couldn't help but notice the glint of surprise in his brown orbs.
You sent him a small smile as watched him open his arms for hug. For a moment, you contemplated whether you should hug him or not. You wanted to, but you knew that if you did, you would only start to fall again.
"It's good to see you, Jake." You stated and turned your attention to the blonde girl, ignoring the hint of confusion that appeared on his perfect face. Usually, you wouldn't hesitate to wrap your arms around him and squeeze him tightly… so why didn't you do that this time? Whatever the reason was, all the Sim boy knew was that he didn't like it.
"Who's this?" You politely wondered, breaking Jake's train of thought as he then wrapped an arm around the girl. "This is Niah, she's my girlfriend."
Ouch.
You had no idea why that sentence had such an effect on you. You was sure you were over him, so why did your heart ache so much?
"It's so nice to finally meet you," Niah grinned, leaning into Jake. Even her teeth were perfect. "I've heard so much about you."
You returned the smile, though it felt forced as you kept your eyes focused on Niah, refusing the look at Jake. "All good things, I hope." You chuckled and so did the blonde girl.
"Of course," Niah shook her head, giggles escaping her mouth. "Jake says you're like a little sister, so I'm more than excited to get to know you. I'm sure we'll be the bestest of friends."
Ouch.
You could feel your heart breaking the longer the conversation went on. You knew that that was how Jake always saw you, and you’d moved on from him, so why were you so bothered? It annoyed you that you were effected by whole situation, and you felt yourself become angry with yourself.
It was going to be a long summer...
Later on that evening, after getting settled into the home, the delicious smell of yours and Jay's mothers cooking was making its way through the house, causing everyone's stomachs to growl with hunger.
The sun was beginning to set by the time everybody was called to dinner, and once they all had their plates filled to the brim, they sat around the family table, eating.
"We're thinking on going on a late night swim," Jay announced, glancing over at you as you sat beside Niki — who was easily getting along well with your brother and his friends. "You should come — Niki too."
A smile appeared on your lips at the thought of swimming in the sea late at night. It would be just like old times and you couldn't help but feel a wave of nostalgia hit you as you quickly nodded you head in agreement.
"So, Jake, Niah," Jihye (the siblings' mother) began as she took a sip from her glass of red wine with a wide beam on her red painted lips. "Tell us the love story." She chuckled, and instantly, you felt your body tense up and you looked up from your plate of food and over at Jake, who had already been looking at you.
You were quick to feel your cheeks heat up, and without another thought, you looked away, far too flustered to remain eye contact — a smirk growing on Niki's lips as he noticed his best friends state.
"Well," Niah started, setting her fork down and glancing beside her at the Sim boy, a warm, loving smile appearing on her lips. "I had joined the college a few days later due to my flight from the States being delayed —"
"You're Korean is good." The siblings' father mustered, far too busy eating his food rather than engaging in the conversation.
Niah sent the older man a smile of gratefulness, before she quickly continued with her story.
"And when I arrived at the school, I got lost." She chuckled, pouting her lip playfully, causing everyone (other than you and Niki) to let out quiet laughs. "Jake noticed and helped me outside. Turns out we were both majoring in Physics, so we walked to class together and he ended up asking for my number." Niah shrugged, an expression of happiness swarming her features.
You let out an almost silent sigh as you glanced over at Jake, who was busy admiring Niah with a small smirk on his plump lips. Oh, how you wished to be admired by him —
You quickly cut yourself from your thoughts as you snapped your head down to your plate, your heart beating at a fast pace and your eyes widening slightly. There was no way... This couldn't be happening... Not after months of working on yourself and getting over him...
Without another word, you abruptly stood from your chair, the wooden legs of the seat scraping across the wooden floor.
Everybody stopped what they were doing and looked up at you with concern and confusion on their faces.
"Y/n? What's wrong?" Your mother wondered, and you couldn't help but have your eyes land on Jake. It was like he was a magnet and you hated that. You didn't want to look at him all the time. You didn't want to like him. He was your brothers best friend. He was Niah's girlfriend. He was off limits and you hated that.
"I just feel a bit sick," you lied, holding an arm across your stomach to make your lie more believable. "I'm going to lay down for a bit." You then announced and picked up your plate, washing it in the sink and then hurrying up to your room with a feeling of guilt in your chest.
Later on that evening, when the sun had officially set, you were laying on her bed, listening to the music that played in your AirPods. You hadn't been downstairs since dinner and you didn't plan on going downstairs for the continuation of the night.
As you felt your eyes begin to shut, exhaustion from not only the plane and car ride, but also the sun beginning to take over your body. That was all you wanted to do: sleep and forget about today and forget about your feelings for Jake.
However, that wasn't possible, because just as you shut your eyes, a knock at your bedroom door was heard, causing you to sigh slightly and sit up, removing one of your earphones. "Come in." You called out, watching at the door opened.
"Are you coming out for the swim?" Niki asked. He was clad in his swimming trunks and a towel was thrown over his bare shoulder. You couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him and you laid back on her bed, relaxing now that you knew Niki was the one knocking on you door.
"Who are you trying to impress?" You joked, looking him up and down. "Remember, Niah has a boyfriend." You sang, chuckling at yourself, and a mischievous grin appeared on Niki's lips.
"Remember, Jake has a girlfriend." He bounced back, instantly shutting you up making you snap your head over in his direction, glaring your eyes at him, before you both burst out laughing.
"You noticed?" You questioned, sitting back up as Niki sat at the foot of your bed, nodding his head.
"Of course — you were practically drooling over him at the table." He flared his eyes, and you quickly picked up the pillow that was beside you and hit the younger boy with it.
"Shut your mouth, I was not."
"Yes, you were." Niki nodded, standing up so that he could escape your abuse.
"Whatever," You rolled her eyes, sitting back on the bed. "Go have your swim." You nodded your head towards the door, and Niki huffed.
"You're not coming?" He asked and you shook her head.
"I feel sick, remember?"
"Bullshit." He chuckled, before sticking his tongue out at you and excitedly left your room after hearing Jay call out for him.
A sigh of relief fell from your lips as you laid down, finally happy to be able to give in to your tiredness.
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That same night, you’d woke up from your slumber in a pool of your own sweat. It was an uncomfortable feeling, really and you couldn't help but feel grossed out by it, and so you ripped the thin sheet from your body and stepped out of bed.
The house was silent, indicating that everyone was asleep, and the only thing that could be heard was the floor boards creaking as you walked down the corridor and made your way downstairs.
You got herself a glass of cold water and quickly gulped it down, in a hurry to get changed and then get back into bed, though just as you placed your glass in the sink, your eyes caught sight of the front door slightly ajar.
Immediately, you furrowed your brows in confusion, and couldn't help but feel a slight sense of panic sprout in your chest as you slowly approached the open door. Had someone broken in? Or had someone forgotten to close the door after coming back from the swim?
As you got closer to the door, your nose was soon filled with the smell on cigar smoke, quickly making you even more confused than you already were. And so, without another thought, you opened the door entirely, and your eyes slightly enlarged at the sight before you.
It was Jake sat on the top step of the porch stairs. He was clad in a white, long sleeved t-shirt, though he had the sleeves rolled up to above his elbows, and he wore a pair of denim jeans. His hair was damp, and messily sitting on his forehead, though that (surprisingly) wasn't the cause for your widened eyes — no, it was the cigarette he held between his fingers as he looked out at the ocean in front of the house.
For a moment, you didn't know what to do. You didn't know whether to leave him be, or to strike a conversation (the latter being something the old you would've done).
"Why aren't you sleeping, y/n?" His voice asked, instantly breaking you from your thoughts and causing your cheeks to heat up with embarrassment at the realization of being caught.
Gulping, you took a step forward and hesitantly sat on the steps with him, though you made sure to leave quite a large gap between you both, bringing your legs to your chest as you turned your head to look at him. "Why are you smoking?"
A smirk formed on Jake's lips as he then brought the cigarette up to his mouth and blew out a string of smoke in the opposite direction to where you were sat.
"Why not?" He shrugged.
"It's bad for you, Jake." You warned, disappointed at his actions. The old Jake wouldn't of done something like this, so why had his ways changed? "What about Football?" You questioned and the boy let out a long sigh, leaning back on his arm.
"I can still play, y/n, don't you worry." He chuckled, and you rolled your eyes at him.
"Did you have fun at the beach?" You wondered, moving on from the previous topic. You watched as Jake bowed his head slightly, biting his lip before turning to look at you.
"Yeah," He shrugged again. "I guess. It would've been better if you were there." The boy huffed out, taking another drag.
Immediately, you felt your heart explode and it felt as if a swarm of butterflies were flying around in your stomach, tickling your insides, and you felt your cheeks heat with fluster.
You hated when Jake would say things like this. He was always aware of the effect he had on you, and he liked to say things that would drive you into a frenzy which you hated. You knew he was playing around with you — the old you. Not now, you wouldn't let him get to you, and so, you took a deep breath and turned to look at him once again.
"Glad you had fun." You sighed, completely ignoring the statement before and stood up, about to head back inside though the boy stopped you as he spoke once again.
"You look pretty, by the way." He complimented, and your breathing hitched and you shut her eyes for a moment, the boys words doing things to you that you couldn't explain. There was no teasing tone to his voice. Had he really meant that?
Gathering yourself, you nodded. "Whatever, Jake." You spoke just above a whisper.
"I mean it, y/n." He looked behind him, looking up at you, who now halted your movements, your hand resting on the handle of the door. "You look beautiful."
You instantly squinted your eyes shut as you tried to compose yourself. Why was he doing this? Why now?
"Goodnight, Jake." You ignored him again before entering the home and heading back upstairs, your body far more sweatier than before.
The next morning, your parents had gone out to go and say hello and catch up with the neighbors, whilst everyone else had decided to head down to the beach for the day.
You were wearing a black bikini, with a pair of denim shorts covering your lower half. You had your towel in your hand and your book and headphones in the other as you walked through the sand beside Niah, behind everyone else who had hurried off, dumping their towels on the floor and rushing into the sea.
You both set up your space under one of the many community parasols, and once they were happy with it, they sat down; you opening up your book to the page you last left it on, whilst Niah watched the boys splashing around in the water.
"You're so lucky." Niah sighed, looking over at you, making you slowly detach your eyes from the words on your page and placed them on Niah. "You have two great brothers and Niki." She softly chuckled, and you cocked a brow.
"Two brothers?" You questioned, confused, as you were more than sure that your parents only gave birth to you and Jay.
"Jake — you guys are like siblings, right?" Niah asked, looking up at you, whose lips were now slightly parted as you nodded your head slowly.
"Right." You bluntly answered, ignoring the pang of annoyance in your chest. There was no way you viewed Jake as a brother, and there was no way you ever would.
Silence took over, and quickly, you both got back to doing your own thing. Jake, Jay, Niki, and Sunghoon had now left the Sea and decided to join in with another group that were playing Football on the sand, and you couldn't help but watch them, thinking back to the times you’d watch Jay and Jake's Football games when they were in High School.
As time continued, you soon got bored of watching and directed your attention back to your book — however, that was a bad idea, as you became unbeknownst to the ball that was now flying your way, aiming for your face, when suddenly, a Football hit you harshly across the face.
You sat with your mouth slightly agape and your hand on the right side of your face, far too stunned to speak — the only sound surrounding you being the gasps of the people on the beach.
The ball was kicked at a savage force, making the side of your face burn bright red and feel sore. You felt embarrassed as everyone watched you. You didn't know what to do. Should you just act like nothing happened? Get up and leave?
Before you could come to a decision, you were approached by one of the boys that were playing football.
"I'm so sorry." He spoke, his voice not very deep for a boy.
You looked up at him, raising your other hand to cover your eyes so that you were able to get a better look at the boy. He had brown hair that had a few waves mixed within the thickness of it, and it looked as if it was in need of a cut due to the few strands that hung over his doe, cat-like eyes. His lips were in between the size of small and big, his Cupids bow being deeply defined. Though, despite his fierce eyes and pretty lips, what stood out most to you was the dimples that dented his cheeks.
"It's okay." You awkwardly shook your head, your lips forming a tight line as you slowly looked away and at your legs, far too embarrassed to look him in the eye.
"No, really," The boy continued, kneeling down so that his face could become level with yours. "I'm sorry, it looked like it hurt." He nodded his head to your sore face. A small, awkward smile tugged at the corner of your lips as a quiet chuckle fell from your lips.
He seemed sweet.
"It's fine, I'm okay." You reassured the boy, who sighed and nodded slightly.
"Hey," The boy nervously began, standing up and rubbing the non-existent dirt from his shorts. "You should come to my friends party tonight — said he wants to make it one of his biggest." He shrugged and you couldn't help but chuckle as his awkwardness.
Going to a party was something you would never choose to go to. You were always the kind to stay in your bedroom, revising, reading or listening to music. The night life never appealed to you, and whenever your brother would go out to parties with his friends in high school, you could never understand the entertainment about it. However, the revamped you knew you had to get out more and socialize — even if you didn't really want to.
So, after thinking over the boys proposal, you slowly nodded your head, a small smile tugging at your lips.
"Great!" He happily spoke, his body visibly relaxing now that your answer was out in the open. "Uhm, you know where Lee Heeseung lives, right?"
"Yeah." You bobbed your head. Lee Heeseung was a boy around your brothers age. He was well known within the neighborhood of holiday homes for not only his handsome looks and kind personality, but also his night changing parties.
"Cool, the party starts at 8, so come anytime after that." The boy before you shrugged, nodding his head, awkwardly glancing over at Niah, who held in a giggle, excitement filling her bones at the situation you were in.
"Great, see you then..." you trailed off, soon realizing she didn't know the boys name.
"Jungwon — and you're y/n, right?" Jungwon announced, and you couldn't help but smile as you nodded your head.
"Okay, see you at 8, y/n." Jungwon waved, before he rejoined his game of Football after retrieving the football.
A blush formed on your cheeks as you bowed your head, your stomach fluttering around filled with butterflies.
"He just asked you out!" Niah exclaimed, a wide smile on her face as you immediately shook your head, denying the girls statement.
"No, he only asked me to go to a party, that's all." You shrugged, and Niah scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"Well, he didn't ask me." She deadpanned, a smirk on her lips as she leaned over and playfully nudged you. You were excited for the party later, and you were happy that not once did Jake Sim appear in your head…
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"But why can't we go?" Jay questioned, a whine lacing his voice as he sat at the dining room table, an annoyed look on his face as he watched as you put your silver heels on.
"Shut up, Jay." Niah huffed, slapping the boys shoulder. "This is y/n’s night, she's met a boy."
"Yeah, a boy she's known for less then five minutes." Jake stated, folding his arms across his chest. He wasn't too happy about the whole idea. It was weird in his opinion. How could anyone be pleased about that idea? "And it's barely even a date. It's Lee Heeseung's party." He scoffed out.
"Don't be jealous, Jake," you grinned, grabbing your bag and making your way over to the front door. "Just because you don't get asked to go to parties —"
"I have been asked to parties, I've just chosen to decline their offer." Jake stated, feeling odd about the way you were behaving. Usually, as soon as he would disapprove of something, you went with what he said... so why wasn't that the case this time?
"Whatever." You shook your head. "I'll see you guys later."
"Phone us if anything happens!" You heard Niki yell after you once you were down the porch steps.
You could feel your heart pound nervously against your chest. You were filled with nerves and you had thoughts on backing out. You’d never been to a party before — let alone on your own, so this would be a new experience.
Once you arrived at the party, you couldn't help but feel a wave of anxiety consume you. The loud, blaring music bounced from one holiday home to the next, and the street was pact with parked cars. There were many people standing around outside Heeseung's home, and there were plenty of plastic cups and burnt out cigarettes scattered on the dried out grass.
It was your first time going to a party alone, and so far, by first glance, you were beginning to regret your decision.
That was, however, until your eyes landed on Jungwon, who was walking down the porch steps and over to you with a red, plastic cup in his clutch. He was clad in a pair of black, denim jeans, a white, loose fitted t-shirt, and a black bomber jacket and converse. He looked good, and you couldn't help but look him up and down for a while.
"You came!" Jungwon grinned widely, his dimples becoming as prominent as ever. You smiled back at the boy, quickly feeling more at ease within his presence.
"Of course," You spoke, glancing around at the tipsy people before looking back at the Yang boy. "Wouldn't miss it for the world.” You jokingly chuckled and Jungwon couldn't help but laugh also.
"Come on," He nodded his head towards the front door of the house as he began to walk towards it, you hot on his tail. "I'll introduce you to my friends."
You nodded, and as soon as you entered the home, you were instantly hit with a clash of scents. Many different perfumes mixed with sweat was assorted within the air, along with a strong scent of booze and weed. It wasn't exactly pleasant, and you found yourself grimacing as the smells hit your nose all at once.
"You look really good, by the way." Jungwon turned back to compliment. His voice loud, making you smell the traces of alcohol in his breath, as he had to shout due to the music that was even louder inside.
Immediately, a shade of crimson took over your makeup covered cheeks, and you couldn't help but feel flustered at his compliment. It was random, however you found yourself liking it.
"Thanks — so do you." You returned, and Jungwon smiled back, latching his hand onto yours as you made your way past plenty of moist bodies and eventually made it to his friends.
There were four boys all stood around; some were leaning against the wall, others were stood in front of them with cups in their hands.
"Hey guys," Jungwon called out once the two approached them, the boy placing his hand on one of his friends shoulder. "This is y/n Park —"
"Jay's sister, right?" Lee Heeseung questioned, turning his body to take a better look at you. His eyes trailed your body up and down with a raised brow, a look of intrigue shining through his features.
"Yeah, and you're Heeseung?" You wondered. You knew exactly who he was, you just didn't want to be awkward and nod your head, leaving the conversation at that.
"Sure am," He chuckled. "You've grown up so much." He commented, glancing over at Jungwon and then back at you. "You're not the old, nerdy, y/n anymore." Heeseung jokingly spoke.
Quickly, you felt yourself begin to worry. Sure, you may not look 'nerdy' any more, but that wasn't to say your grades weren't straight A's and your attendance wasn’t a perfect 99.9%, because it was and what if Jungwon didn't like that?
"Nope, not any longer." You awkwardly laughed.
"Right, well, this is Jisung," Jungwon continued, pointing to the fox-like boy who was leaning against the wall. Jisung sent you a smile, instantly making you feel welcome which you very much appreciated.
"This is Johan, and that's Chris." Jungwon introduced the two other boys, who both mirrored Jisung's actions.
"Hey, y/n," Heeseung began. "Is Jake in town this summer?" He wondered after taking a swig of his drink. "I haven't seen him in so long. We need to catch up." He smirked a mischievous grin, which made you furrow your brows slightly in confusion before nodding.
"Cool, well me and y/n are going to get a drink," Jungwon spoke out, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "We'll catch you guys later." He announced and they all nodded in agreement, before the two weaved their way through people to get to the kitchen.
"What would you like?" Jungwon wondered, picking up a cup and then looking through the many bottles of alcohol that were set out on the kitchen counter for people to grab and fill their cups with.
"Oh," you began. You hadn't drank before, so this was a whole new experience for you. You didn't know which one you would like or which one you would hate, and you really didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of Jungwon.
"I'll have whatever you're having." You told him, to which he smirked slightly and nodded, picking up the bottle of Vodka and he mixed it with a very small amount of Sprite.
As soon as the liquid travelled down your throat, you found yourself squinting your eyes shut and pulling the cup away from your lips in disgust. It tasted as if you had just downed a whole bottle of hand sanitizer. The drink burned your throat and you coughed from it.
It truly was horrendously bad...
As time went on and minutes turned to hours, the clock struck two a.m, and by now, you were a sweaty mess.
For some reason, you found yourself craving more of the alcohol Heeseung had out, and after you finished your first cup, you finished another eight.
Your body felt light, and as if it was spinning on a spinning chair constantly, and your eyesight wasn't the clearest — along with your words. You were speaking freely to people you wouldn't choose to speak to if you were sober. You felt as if all of your problems had faded away and it was only you and the music existing.
That was until Jungwon pulled you out of the house and into the fresh air. The humid, night air immediately hitting you, causing a sense of relief to consume your body. You leaned against him him as he helped you down the steps, random giggles escaping your lips as your nose filled with the scent of Jungwon's long lasting cologne.
"You're very good looking, Jungwon." You announced, glancing up at him. Your eyes were doe like and glossed over. Your cheeks were pinker than ever before, and the slight glow of sweat remained on your skin. "You know, you're special because I don't find many men attractive."
The Yang boy glanced down at you, chuckles coming from him as he thanked you once they got to the bottom of Heeseung's front garden. "You should call someone to come pick you up — I'm crashing here for the night." He explained and you slowly nodded your head as his words entered one ear and exited the other.
"Y/n, come on." Jungwon laughed, and you pouted as you brought of your phone and clicked on your contacts. Your vision wasn't the best, and so as you typed in the letters 'JA' and two contacts appeared, you pressed on your brothers name and held the phone up to your ear.
"Y/n?"
"Can you pick me up from Heeseung's house?" You slurred out, stumbling slightly, making Jungwon grab hold of you.
"Yeah, of course, I'll be there in a minute."
Tiredly, a yawn passed your lips as you sat yourself down on the curb, patiently waiting to be picked up. "Thank you for tonight." You smiled up at Jungwon, who nodded, smiling back.
"No need to thank me," He shrugged. "I enjoyed it."
Eventually, the person who came to pick you up arrived, and as soon as your eyes landed on them, they widened in shock.
Jake?
Had you accidentally phoned Jake Sim?
Your jaw was held open slightly as Jake Sim approached you and Jungwon. Had you really phoned him instead of Jay?
The boy was wearing a pair of dark lounge shorts and a long sleeved, yellow and black striped polo shirt that had a light blue collar. He looked tired which was no surprise considering it was way past two a.m, and his hair was a little bit tousled.
You still managed to find him the most attractive boy ever, and you quickly shook yourself out of your trance and turned to Jungwon, bidding your goodbye before following after Jake.
You were both consumed by silence. Jake had his hands shoved in his shorts pockets and you stumbled beside him, causing him to chuckle softly before removing his hand from the comfort of his pocket and to hold onto your arm to keep you stable.
You were far too out of it to realize that you were walking the complete opposite way to the holiday home, and instead going to the twenty-four hour convenience store and it wasn't until your eyes landed on the lit up shop that a glimpse of confusion took over your features and you turned your head to look up at him.
"What..." You began, gulping to try and gather you words. "Why are we here?" You slurred out and a long sigh fell from Jake's lips as he lead you over to the empty bench outside the store.
"You need to sober up," He tells you once you’re sat on the bench. "You can't go back in this state." Jake explained and you only nodded your head, not asking any questions. "Now stay here, okay. Don't wonder off." He ordered, and you sat up, giggles leaving your lips.
"Okay, Jakey..." you grinned, your face close to Jake's as your eyes met. You were so close that you could practically see every detail on each others faces, and Jake could smell the strong scent of alcohol leaving your mouth. The older boys eyes trailed down to your plump, reddened lips and he subconsciously found himself biting his own down on his own.
Before anything could happen — not that Jake would do anything due to you being highly intoxicated and him having a girlfriend, of course — a stray cat brushed across Jake's leg, making him jump back slightly in shock.
Your eyes widened at the sight of the cat and you immediately bent down in your sitting position to smooth the cat as the Sim boy went inside the store.
You had always been a dog person growing up and never really liked cats at all, but you were far too drunk to even care about your preferences and feelings towards the animal.
Easily getting distracted, your eyes landed on the flowers that were scattered across the outside walls of the shop and the kids tattoo machine that you would once waste tons of money on when you were younger. Your eyes also fell on the gumball machine that was beside the tattoos and despite your queazy mindset, you felt your breathing hitch at the memory that came with the machine.
The memory that made you realize just how much you liked Jake Sim.
An excited beam was plastered on your fourteen year old self’s lips as you impatiently waited in line to use the gumball machine with your friends.
Your older brother and his friends were currently occupying the machine, taking their time because they made it their mission to get a piece of bubblegum in every colour.
"Jay," You whined, sticking out your bottom lip to pout in annoyance. "Hurry up, you're taking forever!"
"Shut up, y/n," Jay yelled back, turning the knob on the machine. "You're so annoying." He huffed and you instantly rolled your eyes and folded your arms across your chest.
"You're so annoying!" You returned the insult childishly, shoving your brother out of the way so that you could finally have your go. Your smile grew and your eyes enlarged as you quickly brought of the only coin you had from your denim shorts pocket and eagerly slotted it into the coin slot and turned the handle.
Your fists clenched as you impatiently waited for the bubblegum to roll along its spiraling pathway, before it eventually reached the opening. Without another thought, you reached out the grab it, and as soon as it was in your hand, it was immediately knocked out.
Your eyes widened in shock and a gasp left your mouth as you watched as it rolled into a drain.
Anger filled your veins as you turned to look at Jay who had shoved you back. "What the hell, Jay?!" You furiously yelled. "That was my only coin!"
"Oh," Jay pouted, faking his look of regret and sadness. "Too bad." He broke out into a grin and shrugged, before turning and picking up his bike that was laying on the floor; his friends following after him besides one — Jake Sim.
"Here." Jake smiled, holding his hand out that currently had a blue gumball in. As soon as your eyes landed on it, they widened and you couldn't help but feel your cheeks heat red at his kind action.
"Uh..." She awkwardly began. "Are you sure? I can just get another one next week." You spoke, and Jake simply shook his head, shaking his hand as a way of telling you to take it from him.
"Have it, you didn't deserve that — Jay was just being an ass." He chuckled at the thought of his best friend, and you slowly nodded and hesitantly reached out and took the gum from him.
"See ya, y/n!" Jake waved, quickly climbing on his bike and catching up with his friends, leaving fourteen year old you with a fluttering heart. He was the first boy to ever show kindness to you. He was the first boy you ever had a crush on.
When Jake finally returned to you, breaking you from your daze, he had his hands filled with a water bottle and two ice lollies. Your eyes instantly widened at the sight of your favorite ice lolly in his clutch and a beam spread across your cheeks as you reached out for it.
"Nu-uh." Jake shook his head, pulling his hand away from you and holding out the bottle of water he'd bought for you. "You can have the ice lolly once you've finished this." He told you and shoved the bottle into your hands, making you scoff.
"But it'll melt." You pointed out and Jake shrugged.
"You better hurry then."
Once you had finished the iced bottle of water, you were now peacefully enjoying your mixed berry ice lolly, whilst Jake enjoyed his weird (Mom Is Alien) flavored ice cream.
You could feel your heart pounding against your chest as you felt yourself begin to slowly sober up and realize just how close you and Jake were sat. The side of your thigh was touching the side of his, and as you both leaned against the back rest of the bench, your arms constantly brushed against one another.
"I'm sorry for phoning you." You announced, breaking the comfortable silence you were sat in.
A breathy chuckle passed through Jake's swollen lips (swollen due to the coldness of the ice lolly) "I was already awake." He revealed, and your eyebrow raised.
"You were?"
The boy nodded his head and turned to look down at you; your eyes instantly meeting and you could feel your breathing hitch as you couldn't help but wonder if he ever felt the same way you did — even if it was just slightly.
"I was worried for you." He simply shrugged, a small smile appearing on his mouth. "It was my baby sisters first time going out to a party alone." He teased, nudging you playfully as you felt your heart tear into millions of pieces.
Instantly, your shoulders slumped and you turned your head away from him and down at your lap, quickly feeling sober due to the sadness that overtook your body. You’d lost your appetite and so now, the ice lolly was melting and dripping down your hand.
"Oh..." You sighed, biting your bottom lip, refusing to make eye contact with the boy again. You felt so... silly for ever thinking he could possibly see you in the same light you did for him. "Right..."
"Did you have a good time?" Jake wondered, continuing to eat his ice cream.
"Yeah," you slowly nodded. "Jungwon seems nice. I'm really starting to like him." You expressed, a smile making its way to your lips at the thought of the dimpled boy — you unbeknownst to Jake, who had seemed to tense up to the way you spoke about the Yang boy.
Eventually, as time passed and both you and Jake finished your ice cream, a huff escaped your lips as you felt your eyes begin to grow heavy.
"I'm tired." You moaned out as Jake stood up, you looking up at him as he chuckled at your behavior.
"Come on," He spoke, nodding his head to the direction they had to walk in. "We're not far from home."
"But I'm too tired to walk." It wasn't usual for you to be like this. You weren’t one to be bratty, but with the alcohol rushing through your veins, she didn't care.
A long groan came from Jake as he threw his head back and flared his eyes. "You think you're such a princess." He joked and squatted down in front of you. "Get on." He ordered.
A part of you was telling you not to get on and just suck it up and walk, however a massive part of you was telling you to just do it — and because you were drunk, you found yourself listening to the devil on your shoulder, and without another word, you climbed onto the Sim boys back.
Once you finally arrive at the home, you quietly entered and made your way through the home, you not waiting around to say anything else to the boy. You were done. You couldn't — wouldn't — waste your time waiting for him, nor would you continue to be delusional and think a simple brotherly action from him was something more.
You were fed up.
"Goodnight, y/n." You heard Jake softly say, instantly making you halt your movements as you approached the bottom of the stairs, one hand on the railing. Your heart continued to beat faster than ever and you shut your eyes to compose yourself. You weren’t going to do it. You weren’t going to allow him to change your mind again. You couldn't do it anymore.
And the first step to moving on was to ignore him — and that’s what you. You didn’t utter a word to the older boy and you continued your way to your bedroom, desperate for your heart beat to slow down.
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If your head wasn't already banging before, then it definitely was now, now that Niki barged into your bedroom, throwing questions at her, demanding to know what went down last night.
"Did you guys kiss?" Niki grinned, excitedly laying himself down at the end of your bed. Your brows furrowed in confusion and annoyance, and your head pulsed with pain as you slowly sat up on your bed — your hair matted and dark, prominent eye bags beneath your eyes.
"Did you get drunk?! Did he walk you home?" The younger boy continued to ask, causing even more discomfort to your head.
"Niki, please." You huffed, squinting your eyes shut. Why was everything suddenly so loud? "Be quiet for a minute." You groaned, throwing the warm blanket from your body, about to get out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Niki raised a brow and you stopped your movements and turned to look at him.
"I'm going to get Aspirin." You told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, though a glimps of confusion flashed across Niki's features and he pointed to your bedside table.
You mirrored the boys feelings and turned to look at the table, only for your eyes to widen slightly. On it was two Aspirin tablets, a bottle of water and a pack of crackers. Shock consumed your body and you sheepishly glanced over at your best friend.
Had you put them there last night and forgotten about doing it? Though, considering you were quite drunk, your thoughts before jumping into bed would most definitely not be getting medication for the morning — and crackers. The only person you knew to have crackers after being drunk was Jake, and that because you once let both your brother and Jake ramble about a party they went to that night and how they were 'totally not' drunk whilst slurring on their words, meanwhile you revised for an exam the next morning.
Jake?
Was he the one to put them there?
"Did you forget that you put it there last night?" Niki chuckled, breaking you out of your thoughts as you slowly nodded you head. "Did you drink that much?"
A breathy chuckle fell from your lips and you let out a sigh. "Yeah, I guess I did."
"How was the party last night?" He wondered once you had taken the Aspirin and begun to eat the crackers.
"I can't really remember to be honest." You shrugged, and it was true. You couldn't remember pretty much anything from the actual party. All you could remember was her heart breaking when Jake sister-zoned her.
A long and exaggerated huff fell from Niki's mouth as he threw his head back in annoyance and rolled his eyes. He'd been waiting all morning (it was now the afternoon) for his best friend to wake up and tell him about your night, and now you couldn't even remember.
"Whatever," Niki stood from your bed. "You look like shit." He deadpanned and your mouth parted ever so slightly in shock. That was unexpected. "You should wash up because your dads doing lunch on the BBQ outside." Niki informed before leaving you alone to get ready.
Once you had showered and gotten ready for the day — your bikini beneath your denim shorts and loose t-shirt — you made your way down the stairs.
Instantly, your nose was filled with the scent of smoke and the delicious smell of ribs and burgers. It was nice and even made your stomach growl as you walked into the kitchen to go out the double doors to head outside.
However, before you could get far, your eyes landed on him — Jake Sim. He was pouring himself a glass of Coke whilst wearing a pair of wet swim trunks and no top. His hair was damp with water droplets dripping from it and rolling down his body.
You knew it was wrong to stare and feel the way you did about him. You didn't want to like him. You couldn't help but feel guilty because not only were you betraying your brother, but you felt as if you were also betraying Niah.
Too lost in your thoughts, Jake slowly looked up from his glass and over to you, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as soon as his eyes landed on you, instantly making you to break away from your thoughts.
Your cheeks reddened with embarrassment. You’d just been caught staring and now all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and roll away. He looked hotter than ever with the water gliding down his toned body, and you felt your stomach swirl as a wave of fluster hit you.
He has a girlfriend, you’d tell herself, attempting to compose yourself. You needed to move on. Jake Sim didn't like you — he never would. You were Jay Park's baby sister, you didn't stand a chance...
And so, you cleared your throat and stood up straight. "You're making a mess." You stated, catching him off guard. "Make sure you clean up the puddle on the floor." You nodded down the the pool of water by his feet from the water falling from his body, before you looked back up at him.
You both held eye contact for a short moment, Jake not knowing what to say. You had never spoke to him like that before. Usually, you would get flustered and stutter on your words, but this time you didn't and that bothered Jake.
You silently picked up your art book that was on the kitchen island and turned around the walk through the open, double doors. You couldn't help but feel proud of yourself.
"There she is!" Your father beamed once he saw that you were now awake and outside. "Do you want a burger, y/n?" He asked, flipping over the circular food and a wide smile appeared on your lips.
You parted her lips, about to agree even though your stomach was really calling out for the ribs. You knew they were a mess to eat and you didn't want to look a slob in front of Jake — a scoff quickly escaped your lips as you realized what you were thinking.
You weren’t going to let Jake Sim unknowingly dictate your life anymore.
And, when you finished eating the plate of delicious ribs, you moved yourself from the bench and table and over to the sun beds, where your mother and Niah were busy sunbathing. You sat herself on the empty bed between them and let out a long sigh; exhaustion taking over your body from the meal you’d just eaten.
Picking up your art book from your lap and opening it, your eyes immediately widened slightly and a quiet huff passed your lips as you took in the many different sketches you’d started of Jake Sim but never finished.
You always found Jake hard to draw. You weren’t sure if it was because his features were so perfect that they couldn't be recreated, or if it was because you became obsessed with a new look from the boy and desperately wanted it down on paper; not bothering to finish your previous work.
Shaking your head, you snapped yourself out of your thoughts and glanced over at Niah. You didn't want the girl seeing Jake in your sketch book and getting the wrong idea, and so, you quickly turned to a blank page, retrieving a pencil from your pencil case to start a new piece.
However, before you had the chance to do anything, a gush of water was sprayed in your direction, soaking your lap and the pages of your book.
A gasp left your mouth and you instantly sat up on the bed, the squeals from Niah and the laughter of your parents, Niki, your brother and his friends consuming your hearing.
"Jay!?" You yelled out, looking over to him, where he was stood in the pool with a (now empty) water gun pointing in your direction. "What the hell!"
"Stop being boring losers," He scoffed, putting the gun down and rolling his eyes dramatically. "Come on, get in."
"We're gonna play Chicken and I need a partner." Niki smirked mischievously at his best friend, and you couldn't help but chuckle at him. You’d always liked that pool game — and you were a pro at it. However you quickly remembered the times when you were younger and when you would play and be the one on Jake's shoulders...
"So get in and get on my shoulders." Niki ordered, and quickly, you sarcastically huffed and put your book down, making your way to the edge of the pool (Jake's look of annoyance going unnoticed by everyone).
Once you were in the warm pool and now on your best friends shoulders, you watched as Jake swam to the edge of the pool and called out for Niah.
"Why don't you play?" The Sim boy asked his girlfriend, a smile on his plump lips as he rested his head on his arms and tilted his head slightly to look at her. "You can be on my shoulders?"
"No, thank you," Niah shook her head, her lips scrunching in disgust as she removed her sunglasses to look at Jake. "My hair will go green if I get in." She chuckled as she put her sunglasses back on and laying back to continue her tanning session.
You watched as the boy let out a sad sigh and his shoulders slumped before he turned back around to face everyone who was having their own conversation.
"Sunghoon, you're the Ref." Jay told the quiet boy, who smiled and nodded his head in agreement. "I'm gonna verse my sister, and then we'll finally get to see who the better Park is." The boy chuckled with a shrug as he beckoned Jake over so that he could get on his best friends shoulders.
Quickly, you rolled your eyes at your brother. "I don't need to win a stupid Chicken game to know that, Idiot." You scoffed.
"Be quiet, Nerd." Jay huffed, and eventually, once he was sat comfortably on Jake's shoulders, the four heard Sunghoon count down from three before yelling 'Go!'
Instantly, you began to wrestle, pushing and shoving each other. Your laughter was heard throughout the back garden, and the screams of worry that left your mouth would be heard every now and then when you would almost be pushed back into the water.
It was a tough competition. Neither Park was willing to give up and that was mainly due to the massive competitive gene you’d inherited from your father — howbeit, just as you thought Jay was about to tumble back into the pool, your eyes landed on Jake, who reached his arm out to shove Niki back, harshly.
Catching the Nishimura boy off guard, your best friend went stumbling backwards, a gasp of shock leaving both of your mouths as you were soon submerged within the water, evidently losing the game of Chicken.
Once you came up from the water, you were straight away faced with the cheers of your brother, Jake and Sunghoon (the referee!) your brows furrowed in annoyance and you were quick to point your finger at Jake.
"This is so unfair!" You stated. "Jake pushed Niki."
"Quit being a sore loser, Sis!" Jay mocked, jokingly using the nickname as he stuck his tongue out you, who rolled your eyes with a scowl on your face, and you splashed the two boys with the pool water before turning to Sunghoon.
"Sunghoon, you saw Jake push me." Niki stated, and a smirk appeared on the pale boys lips as he glanced over at Jay and Jake, doing his best to contain his laughter.
"Sorry, guys," He slowly began. "But a games a game..." He shrugged and broke out laughing before being brought in for a group up with Jay and Jake, the three boys cheering, leaving you and Niki left to roll your eyes.
After a little while of messing around in the pool, you finally managed to convince the boys to play your favorite pool game — Volleyball. Though, looking around, you soon came to the realization that the teams would be uneven and ultimately unfair.
"Hey, Niah," you called out to the blonde girl. "Do you want to join?" She asked, but the only response you received was the soft snores coming from Niah's parted lips.
"I'm tired anyways," Niki shrugged, a smirk on his lips as he glanced at you before lifting himself out of the pool and sitting on the edge, water droplets dripping from him. "Y/n and Jake can just team up."
Instantly, you snapped your head over in your best friends direction, a glimpse of shock spread across your features as you sent him a glare. What was he playing at?
Jake, however, was quick to agree and make his way over to you, who sent him a forced smile. You really did not want to be partners with Jake Sim.
But, nevertheless, when the game had begun, and you soon realized you and Jake were losing against your brother and Sunghoon, you let out an annoyed groan as you watched as Jay and Sunghoon conversed about strategies between themselves.
You were annoyed. You wanted to win — especially after (wrongfully) losing in the game of Chicken. The inflatable balloon was thrown back and forth, and just as you thought you could score a point for your team, it would quickly be snatched away by a overly aggressive hit back from Jay.
"Get a grip." You told Jake, who rolled his eyes at your attitude. Having basically grown up with the Park siblings, Jake had become accustomed to their behavior, and he knew that when a competition was involved, he was bound to receive 'tough encouragement' (as Jay would call it) from the either of you.
"Hey," Jake spoke up, beckoning you over to him. Your brows furrowed in confusion, and you held up a pause sign to Jay and Sunghoon, who rolled their eyes and allowed you both to speak.
"What?" You asked, a tone of annoyance laced within your voice. "You're literally sucking ass out there, Jake, come on."
The Sim boy couldn't help but chuckle at your words and he rolled his eyes. "Shut up, I have a plan."
"And that is?"
"You'll see." He stated, before un-pausing the game. "Come stand by me." He stated, and you sent him a look of confusion. Why did he want you to go back over to him? How could they possibly hit the ball when stood together?
"Why?" You questioned and the boy groaned and flared his eyes.
"Will you just do it?!" He questioned, impatiently and you huffed and did as told.
"Can I touch you?" Jake leaned down slightly to your ear and whispered, his hot breath fanning her skin and sending goosebumps all over your body. Your eyes widened at the close proximity and you felt yourself nervously gulp as the boys words swirled around in your head.
"Yes..." you nodded your head, remembering he only saw you as a sister and not witnessing the smirk that appeared on Jake's lips as he placed his hands on your waist beneath the water.
His hands on you felt weird — but in a good way. It sent butterflies crashing into your stomach and made your heart flutter. You’d never been touched like this by a boy before, so everything was peculiar to you. You didn't know what you were feeling.
Snapping you away from your thoughts, you heard Jay yell 'go', before he launched the beach ball over to them. Your eyes widened in fear as you suddenly felt restricted. Jake had his hands on you so you couldn't move, and the ball was flying right your way. There was no way you were going to be hit in the face by another ball on this holiday.
However, before the ball had chance to hit you in the face, Jake lifted you up so that you could have a chance at hitting it, considering Jay would unfairly hit it as high as he could knowing you weren’t tall enough — and luckily, you smacked the ball back over to the opposing team, catching them off guard and making the ball land outside of the pool.
Instantly, a giant smile appeared on your lips as Jake put you down and you quickly spun around, instinctively wrapping your arms around the older boys neck and pulling him in for a victory hug. Jake's arms circled around your waist, pulling you against him as you let out squeals of happiness.
You truly were happy to see the annoyed look on your brothers face.
The moment between Jake and you was interrupted by your father clearing his throat, making you realize what was going on.
Your eyes enlarged in shock and you speedily removed yourself from Jake and turned to your dad, acting as if nothing happened and ignoring the blush that was creeping upon your cheeks.
"There's some boy at the door," He announced, a playful smirk on his lips as he wiggled his brows. "He's asking for you."
Immediately, your eyes lit with excitement and you hurriedly got out the pool and wrapped a towel around her your body. There was only one boy you thought could be at the door and that was Jungwon, and so, as you headed inside, ignoring the eye roll from Jake (which did confuse you for a moment), you quickly walked over to the front door that was left slightly ajar.
Your thoughts were correct. There stood Yang Jungwon with a warm smile on his lips, revealing his cute dimples. "Hey." You smiled at the taller boy.
"Hi," He breathed out, slightly nervous. "Your dads scary." He blurted, and you quickly let out a chuckle.
"He's not once you get to know him." You reassured, the smile remaining on your lips as Jungwon soon mirrored your expression. "What're you doing here?" You wondered.
"Well, me and my friends are having a bonfire on the beach later on," The Yang boy began, shoving a hand in his front pocket. "And I was wondering if you wanted to join?"
As soon as the words left Jungwon's lips, you quickly bobbed your head in agreement. You were starting to really like Jungwon, and so you were more than happy to keep spending time with him.
"I'd love to."
"Cool," Jungwon let out a breath of relief as he nodded his head. "You can bring your brother and your friends along too, if you'd like... the more the merrier."
"Will do." You nodded and Jungwon's smile grew even more.
"Great, I'll come by later to get you?" He asked, and without hesitation, you nodded your head, before you bid your goodbyes, and Jungwon walked away with a grin on his face and you shut the door with a smile on yours.
You knew tonight was going to be fun.
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When Jungwon had arrived at the home later on that night, sticking to his word and picking you up, you all made your way towards the beach — Jungwon and you in front of everyone, and Jake trailing behind everyone else with his hands stuffed in his jean pockets.
"You look really pretty tonight." Jungwon complimented, turning his head to glance down at you, whose cheeks now burned red.
What you were wearing was pretty simple, however you still managed to look as beautiful ever. You wore a pair of baggy denim shorts and a tight fitted red, cropped top. You paired it with your everyday jewelry and a pair of white socks and black and white Adidas Samba's. You hadn't put on loads of makeup when getting ready, considering the sun burn that was decorating your face hurt to touch, so you wore winged eye liner, mascara and a clear lip gloss and you hair just how you liked it.
"Really?" You questioned in a tone that showed you were slightly shocked by the boys compliment and Jungwon chuckled, nodding his head as you did your best to hold back your wide grin.
"You always do." He stated and never in your life did you think you would be thankful for the sunburn that was spread across your cheeks, because otherwise the Yang boy would be able to see your red, beaming cheeks.
Once arriving at the beach, your lips parted in awe as you took in the sight before you. In the center of the beach was a massive, glowing bonfire that had flakes of fire flying from it. It's crisping and crackling sound was just about heard over the loud beat of the electronic music and there were many people dancing around the fire with plastic cups in their hands — more than likely filled with alcohol.
"Do you want a drink?" Jungwon wondered, and you nodded your head in agreement before the boy hurried to the drinks stand, leaving you with large smile on you lips.
"He's only getting you a drink," you heard Jake Sim scoff from beside you, immediately making you turn to look at him with a scowl spread on your features. "No need to swoon over him that much." He rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.
"Shut up, Jake." You huffed, fed up of the boy consistently trying to ruin your mood, and so you quickly followed after Jungwon, leaving Jake to watch you reunite and share giggles between each other as Jungwon handed you your drink.
The boy was brought out of his trance by the feeling of Niah linking her arm with his. He glanced down at her and instantly felt his chest pang with realization. He'd almost completely forgot about her. He had been so wrapped up with focusing on you and Jungwon, that he seemed to of forgotten about the girl he brought back from college.
The Sim boy sent her a small (guilt filled) smile, and felt his shoulders slump. All he needed was a drink.
As the night went on, you and Jungwon continued your conversation about something random before you went to get another drink. Jay, Sunghoon, and Niki had found a group of girls to try and impress, Niah ended up going back to the holiday home, telling everyone that she was sure she had sun stroke, and Jake was sat on the sand a little far from the actually rave with a cigarette between his slender fingers, staring out at the water.
A sigh fell from your lips as your eyes landed on him and millions of questions flooded through your mind. For example, how much had he had to drink?
You had known Jake for a while, and had quickly gotten to know his drunk side, and judging from the way he was right now, with his hand trembling and his eyes getting lost in whatever was before him, you gathered he was quite intoxicated.
"Hi." You quietly announced yourself once you approached the boy, who hadn't even turned his head to acknowledge your presence — which made you roll your eyes, but it was Jake, and when Jake was drunk, he didn't think...
"Shouldn't you be with your Lover boy?" The boy scoffed out as you sat down beside him and he took a long drag from the cigarette.
"Why are you being so salty about it all?" You questioned with furrowed brows. "You're acting worse than my actual brother."
And that was true. Jay didn't seem to have a problem with you and Jungwon. He wouldn't throw snarky remarks about him, nor would he send mean looks his way, so why was Jake?
"I'm not being salty," Jake shook his head, denying your words as he blew the smoke out of his mouth, your heart racing at the sight of him.
The orange glow from the sun peered down onto his sun kissed skin, and his brown eyes twinkled beneath the setting sun. He looked majestic and you found herself getting lost in him — however you were quickly pulled from the trance once the Sim boy spoke up again.
"I'm just stating facts."
Silence fell around the the two as you bit down on your bottom lip and followed the boys gaze, your eyes landing on the blue, gleaming ocean.
"Does he know you were once a nerd?" Jake asked, his words slightly slurred as he turned his head to look at you, a quiet — almost non existent chuckle — falling from his lips. Immediately, you felt her face scrunch in confusion and offense and you quickly snapped your head over in his direction.
You couldn't help but feel hurt by the boys words. What was wrong with being a 'nerd'?
Did Jake think Jungwon would change his mind about her if he knew she took her academic life seriously? What was wrong with that?
Was that why Jake never looked at you twice? Did he not like the fact you focused on your grades instead of spreading your legs for random boys at random parties?
"Why are you being such a dick for?" You disputed, shaking your head in disappointment and disbelief. "You're drunk." You sighed out, though it sounded more like you were trying to convince yourself that he was, rather than a statement.
"You've changed since college," you revealed. "The old Jake was always nice." You said, missing the times the Sim boy would never say a bad word about you and always be there to defend you.
"People change, Y/n," He sneered and you quickly felt an even bigger wave of annoyance fill your body at his attitude towards it all. The boy looked you up and down, his eyes taking in the outfit you were wearing and the light make up you had on, and the features on your face before he cocked a brow. "And you're a good example of that."
"What do you mean?" You asked, confused as to what Jake meant. How had you changed? If anyone had changed it was him, not you, so what was he talking about?
A frustrated huff left the boys parted lips and he threw his head back slightly before shaking his head and connecting his eyes with you; the two of you instantly feeling the tension between them thicken.
You felt your breathing hitch as his eyes landed on you, a pit of nerves unleashing within your stomach as you did everything you could to avoid eye contact with the older boy.
"I thought you were supposed to be brainy, huh?" Jake stated. "Or did you just lose all your intelligence when trying to be pretty?"
Your heart ached with hurt. What had gotten into him? Why was he being such a prick?
Was it the alcohol? Though, drunk words were sober thoughts, right? So if that was he thought when sober, how long had he been thinking this?
Did he not think you were pretty? Was that why he used the word 'trying'?
"Fuck off, Jake," you spat, standing up from the sand and walking away from him. "Prick." Rolling off your tongue in a hushed tone as you folded your arms across your chest and headed to the other side of the beach with a stone cold face — your best friend noticing the mood you were in and quickly following after you.
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The warm, summer setting breeze blew softly through your hair, skimming your face as you and Niki sat side by side on the beach, looking out at the ocean. The sun had now set and the only source of light surrounding the beach was the fiery beam from the bonfire that everyone continued to dance around. 
An alcoholic drink was past between you and Nishimura boy as you cracked jokes every now and then; your legs brought up close to your chest as a way to find warmth in the midst of the chilly night. The two of you had been sat away from the rave for twenty minutes and neither of you had any plans of heading back just yet. You liked being in one another's company and gossiping about the party.
"Y/n," Niki began, a sly smirk on the boys lips as he turned his head to look down at you, his eyebrow cocked. "Be honest. Are you really over Jake?" He wondered and instantly, you felt your eyes enlarge slightly in shock at the unexpected question. "You can tell me." He reassured you, who let out a sigh.
"It's weird." You began, looking at him as he listened to you. "I hadn't seen him in so long... and now that I've seen him again, I guess I just feel overwhelmed." You shrugged, not quite sure if what you were saying made any sense.
"And do you really like Jungwon?"
Nodding your head quickly, a smile appeared on your lips as you turned away from looking at Niki and focused your eyes on the sea before you, biting down on your finger nail. "Originally, I was only going to focus on him as a distraction from Jake, but now I'm really starting to like him."
"So," Niki started, a mischievous grin on his lips that made you groan and rolls your eyes. You knew that look all too well. "If they were both to ask you to be their girlfriend, who would you say yes to?"
You felt your breathing hitch as the boys words travelled to your ears. Of course Niki would ask something like this — ask something that you didn’t have an answer to.
Jake was your first love, your childhood crush and you would forever hold a special place for him in your heart — no matter the mean things he'd say to you.
And Jungwon was someone new. He made you feel special, like he only had eyes for you. He was a gentleman and that was something you cherished... however, no matter how hard you thought about the Yang boy, your brothers best friend would always find a way to appear in your head.
Just as your lips parted to answer the boys question, the sound of yells coming from the bonfire caught both of your attentions and instantly made you snap your heads over to see what was going on. Multiple people were crowed around in one place, cheering and holding their phones out to capture what was unraveling.
Without another thought, you both stood from the beach (Niki leaving the once full cup of alcohol buried in the sand) and hurried over to the chaos with confusion and intrigue written across their faces.
You managed to push your way through the crowed of people, muttering apologies beneath your breath as you heard people's scoffs of annoyance.
Immediately, as soon as you got to the front of the circle, your eyes widened in shock once they landed on Jake, who was on top of another boy, punching him. He looked furious and irritated and you couldn't help but feel taken aback by the scene before you.
Jay and Sunghoon were trying to pull their friend off of the random boy — who was trying to fight back, though, due to Jake being above him and having more power over him, it was quite impossible.
Eventually, the Sim boy was yanked off of the stranger, his long sleeved, white t-shirt tearing at the collar as he ran a hand through his dark hair in pique.
Instinctively, you wrapped your hand around Jake's wrist and pulled him away from the circle to prevent him from doing anything else regretful, whilst your brother and Sunghoon spoke to the bloodied boy to find out what had happened.
"What the fuck, Jake?" You spat out once they came to a halt at the end of the beach; you dropping the boys wrist harshly. "Why would you do that?" You asked like an angry mother and all Jake could do was stay silent, looking down at you as his eyes softened.
Squinting your eyes and taking a closer look at his face, you began noticing the wounds displayed across his face. The other guy had managed to get in a punch or two because Jake's bottom lip was burst, and dripping with blood, and his right cheek bone had a slit across it, now oozing with a dark, crimson liquid.
"Answer then," you urged, folding your arms across your chest. You were becoming frustrated with the mute boy. "What are you playing at?"
"You're not my mum, y/n," Jake finally spoke up with a slightly raised voice. He too, was also frustrated. "So quit speaking to me like you are."
All you could do for a moment was scoff and roll your eyes. You were fed up of him. You didn't know what had happened to him since college, but all you knew was that you didn't like it at all.
You didn't like him speaking to you the way he did, and you didn't like his violent actions. The old Jake would never of done that...
"You need to stop being a Dickhead," you stated, looking him up and down before letting out a quiet sigh and dropping your arms to the side of your body. "Go home and clean yourself up. I'm going back to the party." You explained and began to make your way past him.
However, before you could get very far, the boy caught hold of your wrist (Just like you once had hold of his moments ago) and caused you to halt you movements.
"He was talking about you, y/n." Jake confessed. His voice was as soft and sincere as ever and it immediately made your heart warm at his tone. "He was calling you all kind of names."
A long huff fell past your plump lips as you turned around to face the boy. "Like you're any better, Jake, you were calling me a Nerd." You informed whilst your brows scrunched in confusion.
Jake sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, slightly tugging at his roots in frustration. "That's different." He stated, instantly making your eyes widen slightly.
"How is it different?"
It was silent for a moment as you looked up at the boy, waiting for an answer to leave his lips. His eyes landed on everything but you and he bit down on his bottom lip (the side that wasn't injured).
"Because it is."
As his eyes eventually met yours, you couldn't help but feel your heart clench at his words.
Why? Why did Jake Sim have to do this to you?
Why did he have to speak in that soft voice and quickly make you go crazy for him?
Why? Whenever he spoke in that tone it always reminded you of the old Jake...
Glancing back at the party with thousands of thoughts swarming your head, you felt your shoulders slump and a quiet huff come from your parted lips as you turned to look back up at the older boy.
"Never call me a Nerd again." You spoke firmly, in a tone that was demanding before taking hold of Jake's wrist again and leading him away from the party, and taking him home.
And so, when you both made it back to the home and quietly made your way up to the bathroom, careful not to wake your parents or Niah, Jake sat himself down on top of the bathroom counter.
Silence filled the air between you and him as you tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear and kneeled down to search through the cabinets beneath the sink for the First Aid kit.
There were many thoughts swirling through your head and questions that you were asking herself, yet couldn't find an answer to were clogging her mind.
Why were you helping Jake?
Why didn't you just stay at the party with Jungwon?
Jungwon…
You had completely forgotten about him and now, as his face appeared in your head you couldn't help but feel guilty for leaving the party without telling him.
Once you had retrieved the kit from behind a load of shampoo bottles, you placed it on the side of the sink and opened the container and began getting the equipment ready.
A few glances were shared between you and Jake, however no words were spoke as you drowned a q-tip in saline solution before hesitantly turning your body to face the Sim boy — who had been watching you the entire time.
"This'll probably going to hurt a bit." You warned, your voice quiet and tone soft, and Jake nodded his head, not uttering a word as he allowed you to clean his wounds.
Gently, you brought the q-tip up to the corner of the boys lip and began to wipe it. The pressure you put on him was delicate, almost like you’d cause even more injury to him if you had pressed down harder. However, no matter the gentle approach you had, it didn't stop the wince of pain escaping Jake's mouth.
Instantly, you pulled back with your eyes slightly widened. "I'm sorry." You quickly apologized, afraid you’d hurt him more than he already was, but Jake shook his head.
"You shouldn't apologize, I should..." He started, shaking his head ever so slightly. "I'm sorry, Y/n," Jake spoke just above a whisper. "For being mean to you, I didn't mean it at all."
"I'm finding that hard to believe." You sighed, a small chuckle falling past your lips as you slumped your shoulders and you lowered your hand that held the q-tip.
The Sim boy bit down on his bottom lip and bowed his head in shame. He knew what he said hurt you, and he wanted nothing more than to take it back. He doesn't know why he said it, but all he knew was that didn't mean it.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," Jake uttered out. "There's something going on with me, Y/n, and I don't know what it is." He explained and raised his head, instantly making their eyes connect.
You could feel a bubble of nerves appear in your chest as their eyes met and you felt yourself gulp whilst you quickly disconnected the eye contact and mimicked Jake's actions by lowering your head.
It felt as if your chest was pounding against your chest, uncontrollably. Jake always knew how to make you feel like this; like your heart was going to burst from your body at any given moment and you hated it. He knew how to make you feel nervous and make the butterflies in your stomach flap their wings.
Quietly, Jake reached forward and placed his hand beneath your chin and slowly raised your head so that you could look back at him. The tension between you was thick as neither of you chose to say a word — the only sound between you being the sound of your breathing.
"What do you mean?" You eventually spoke up. Your voice was as quiet as ever and laced with nerves.
What did Jake mean? Was he ill?
Jake licked his lips whilst his eyes darted from your eyes and down to your own plump lips. They lingered there for a moment, immediately making your breathing hitch and your ears tint red before his dark eyes travelled back to your eyes. It felt like Jake had put you under a spell and now you were caught within his trance.
You could feel his hand reach out and hold onto your hip, pulling you closer to him between his legs. You didn’t know what to say or do, so you remained silent. It pained you weren’t sure if you wanted this moment to end or not.
His cold fingertips brushed against the fabric of your top, gently raising the cloth so that he could curve his fingers around the waistband of your shorts.
You could not just feel a heartbeat in your chest now, but also one between your legs…
You watched as the boys lips parted, about to speak, though before he could get the chance to get any words out, the bathroom door abruptly opened, causing you to jump away from him in fright and for you both to turn your heads to see who had walked in.
"What's going on?" Your mother tiredly asked. Her eyes were half open and her hair was a mess with strands of it poking out in all kinds of directions.
"I fell over." Jake quickly answered. "And Y/n was helping me clean up." He informed the older women, who slightly nodded her head, far too exhausted to properly understand — or care.
"You both should get to bed, it's late." She stated and you agreed with your mother, hurriedly walking past her and headed to your bedroom with your heart still in her throat.
Once Jake got to the room he shared with both Jay and Sunghoon, he lazily dropped down on his bed and let out a long sigh. His mind was restless with images of you running through it.
He felt frustrated with himself. He shouldn't be thinking of Jay's younger sister in the way he does. That was his best friends sister. You were off limits. Jake Sim had a girlfriend — Niah, and yet he didn't find himself wanting to be near her all the time like he did with you.
There was something wrong with him... there had to be...
Pulling out his phone from his back pocket, the boy began scrolling through it, desperate to get his mind off of you and to get rid of his growing hard on. However, as the boys finger clicked on the contacts icon and he scrolled past Niah's name and landed on yours, he sighed.
You still up|
This was a bad idea, he thought with his bottom lip between his teeth. He couldn't do it to Jay or Niah, and so without another thought, he deleted the message and shut off his phone, groaning in frustration.
This was hell.
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It had been four days since you had cleaned Jake Sim's wounds, and to say the tension between the two of you was thick would be a massive understatement.
Neither of you had spoken about that night even though it was constantly on both of your minds.
What had Jake meant by something being wrong with him?
You and Jungwon had kept in contact (you having apologized for leaving so suddenly at the party) and things were going well for you two.
Currently, you and your best friend, Niki were sitting on your bed, locked away from the gloomy weather outside. Despite it being the middle of summer — a time when the sun should be blaring all the time — the clouds still managed to turn a dull grey and swarm the once, clear blue sky, causing everyone to remain in doors.
You mindlessly drew in your sketch book whilst Niki laid beside you, dipping his hand into the family share bag of crisps every now and then as he spoke about whatever was on his mind.
Suddenly, disturbing the two best friends was a knock at your bedroom door, which immediately grabbed your attention as the mystery person walked in.
"Heeseung's inviting us over," your brother, Jay, informed you both. "And Jungwon is gonna be there." He added before quickly leaving your room so that he could put his shoes on.
The younger boy beside you nudged your arm jokingly, as he stood up from the bed, disregarding the crisp packet that was now empty and slipping his shoes on.
"Come on," Niki bobbed his head, motioning for you to move. "We're going."
And so, after arriving at Heeseung's holiday home and the group had gotten themselves comfortable in the Lee boys living room (each of them dotted on the sofa), Jungwon, Jake, Heeseung, and Niki had all decided to play a video game on the console.
"When I come back to Korea sometime, we should definitely go and get our nails done together." Niah suggested with a wide smile on her pink lips. You both had decided to sit beside one another, stating that you didn't want to get involved within the chaos of video game rage.
Nodding your head in agreement, you turned your head away from the large television and looked at the girl next to you, mirroring her smile. "That'd be nice, I could also introduce you to some of my friends, I'm sure you'd get along with them well."
Just as Niah parted her lips to add on to your suggestion, your attention was pulled away from the conversation as Jungwon turned to you, nudging your arm gently.
"Do you wanna play?" He asked, holding out the controller for you to take. You couldn't help but smile at his gesture and nod your head — even though you had no idea what to press and how to play the game.
"Do you know how to play?" Jungwon softly chuckled out once noticing your hesitation to press anything. Lifting your head up from the controller and looking at the Yang boy, an embarrassed laugh quietly passed your lips.
"Not really." You shook your head — which instantly earned knowing giggles from your best friend and Niah.
"That's okay, I'll teach you." Jungwon shrugged and inched his body closer to your body, before he placed his hands on top of yours, showing you what button and stick does what.
As Jungwon's warm breath fanned your exposed neck causing multiple goosebumps to form on your skin, you hadn't realized you were holding your breath — no, not until a gasp left your mouth in shock as your screen turned black and the words 'DECEASED' appeared in bold, red writing.
"What the hell, Jake?" Jungwon huffed out in confusion, visibly irritated with the older boy for murdering his character. "We're on the same team."
Glancing over at the raven haired boy, who had refused to look at you and Jungwon, you were quick to notice Jake's clenched jaw and his bottom lip tightly tucked between his teeth — and when the Sim boy turned his head to look over at you, the annoyance in his eyes became as obvious as ever as they met your ones.
"My bad." Jake brushed the matter off, sending a glare at Jungwon before turning back to the video game, which only made you roll your eyes.
Suddenly, the sound of thunder echoed throughout the neighborhood and lightning struck brightly in the air and rain soon began to angrily fall from the clouds. The sky had turned miserable with the dark clouds taking over the setting sun.
"So much for summer." Heeseung scoffed, running a hand through his black hair before going back to the game — however, the plans of continuing the video game was abruptly ended as the television and all of the lights in the home switched off.
"A blackout?" Jay groaned and you let out a sigh. What were you going to do now? It wasn't like you could go home because the street lights weren't working, so Jay (who'd driven in your parents' car) wouldn't be able to see clearly with not only the darkness, but also the pouring rain. It'd be dangerous.
As time passed, and conversations about what to do changed into jokes being made in the dark and then to 'horror stories with Niki', boredom soon fell upon the group as huffs were thrown about. There were no signs of the electricity being turned on as minutes soon turned to hours.
"Hey," Niki spoke up, a playful grin displayed on his lips that could be seen due to the flash from his phone being shone on his face on his lips. His tone was filled with excitement and it quickly grasped everyone's attention as you turned to look at the youngest, waiting to hear his idea.
"Let's play hide and seek."
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"But I don’t want to be on." Jay stated, folding his arms across his chest as everyone gathered back in the living room.
You all had been playing for a good few hours and to say it was a good way to pass time would be an understatement. The home had been filled with laughter and screams of excitement and fright when getting caught, and now, as the sun officially set and had been replaced by the glowing moon, you were moving into the next round of (what seemed to be) a never ending game.
"Everyone but you has been on." You pointed out, annoyed at your brother for acting like a child. "Just suck it up, Jongseong and get to counting."
Jay instantly rolled his eyes at you. "Shut your mouth." He scoffed and turned around to face away from everybody, as he then began to loudly call out the numbers leading up to one hundred.
Without another thought, you had disbanded into every direction of the large home. At first, during the first few rounds, you couldn't help but struggle with finding somewhere good to hide. You didn't know your way around the house well enough, and so hiding behind curtains was the best you could do.
However, as time went on and places around the house caught your eye, it was safe to say you’d won one or two games of hide and seek.
You could hear Jay in the eighties and felt your eyes widen and your heart begin to smack against your chest, anxiously. All of your saved spots had been taken and so you were left with the closest in one of the spare bedrooms.
Huffing in frustration, there were ten seconds left until your brother would search for you and quickly, without another thought, you slid the door open and stepped inside, grateful that the closet was empty.
You stood in silence, patiently waiting for Jay to begin his hunting, and you leaned back slightly, resting your back on the wall as you caught your breath. Running around a house and laughing at the same time causing you to be at a loss of air.
Suddenly, the closet door was slid open in a hurry and for a moment, you felt your shoulders slump with defeat at the belief of being caught and so you stood up straight — however when you watched the figure shut the door behind them, your brows furrowed with confusion.
Had you not been found yet?
The wardrobe was awkwardly silent, the only sound that could be heard was your heavy breathing (which you were embarrassed about).
Who had joined you in the confined space?
"And I thought I was the smoker." They scoffed out a quiet chuckle, and instantly, your eyes widened as the familiar voice travelled to your ears.
It was Jake...
"Jake, what the hell, I was here first, get out," you swiftly broke out into a rant, your voice slightly raised which was bound to grasp Jay's attention as he roamed the corridors. And so, the Sim boy did the first thing that came to mind, shut you up.
Stepping closer to you, who was still talking at a fast and uncontrollable pace, Jake quickly placed his hand over your mouth, covering it and stopping any noise coming from you as you hid.
The action effortlessly made your eyes widened in shock and you stumbled backwards slightly, leaning your back against the wall once again. You didn't know how to feel about the situation you were currently in. It was pitch black, so you couldn't see him due to the hiders not being allowed a torch, so they were only left to their memory.
You could feel the boys minty breath hitting your skin due to your close proximity, and the longer you stayed stood in front of one another with his hand still over your mouth, the more relaxed you became — and you didn't know why.
You were supposed to be annoyed at him — annoyed at him because he rudely stopped you from speaking, and took your hiding spot. You were supposed to no longer like him. You no longer had feelings for him... you liked Jungwon, right?
You could feel your eyes soften and the once feeling of your body being tense vanished.
Despite not being able to see him, you knew he towered over you and knowing that you had to look up at him, you couldn't help but feel nervous and submissive.
Eventually, Jake slowly removed his hand from your face and placed it on the wall behind you, beside your head.
"Are you finished?" He asked, his tone as quiet as ever, and all you did was nod your head (forgetting the fact he couldn't see you).
It was now, when the only thing that could be heard was your breathing and the screams from your friends being caught, that everything you wanted to ask him came back to you.
You wanted to know what he was going to tell you the other night, before your mother interrupted you.
You wanted to know what was wrong with him and why he'd been acting the way he had.
"Jake..." you softly called out, earning a 'hm?' as a response from the said boy. Licking your lips and opening your mouth to question him, you were abruptly stopped by the lights switching back on — and it was then, that you and Jake Sim became aware of just how close you were stood.
The light from the bedroom the closest was in was piercing through the small gaps in the wardrobes wooden doors, allowing you to see one another. Your bodies were centimeters from touching, and all it would take would be one small nudge for you lips to touch due to the older boy leaning down.
Your position took them by surprise, and you couldn't help but nervously gulp as your cheeks burned red.
"I-" you went to start, though it seemed as if you would never get a chance to ask your questions because just when you built up the courage to do so, the closet door quickly slid open, immediately making you push Jake away from you, afraid that whoever opened the door would get the wrong end of the stick... or would it really just be the right end?
"Powers back on," Jungwon awkwardly stated, his lips tightly shut as he glanced between you two. "Um, Jay said your parents want you home." He informed.
Nodding your head at the Yang boy, you sent a small, guilt filled smile his way before you walked past him and hurried downstairs, wanting nothing more than to get out of the situation.
You felt awful.
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Your eyes quickly sprung open in shock to the sound of your brother yelling out for you from the kitchen. You sat up in your bed and threw your blankets from your body and hurried over to your bedroom door and pulled it open, concerned as to what Jay could possibly want at ten in the morning.
"What!?" You shouted back to him, and impatiently waited for a minute or two as the older boy grew silent. "Jay, what?!" You yelled once again, your tone filled with annoyance, hoping that he'd eventually answer.
"Jungwon's outside for you." The Park boy finally told you, and quicker than ever, your eyes widened in confusion and you shut your bedroom door.
Why was Jungwon here?
Sighing to yourself, worry filled within your chest as you began to get ready — already overthinking the situation and picturing of the worse case scenario.
"Hey..." you softly spoke as you shut the front door behind you once making it downstairs. Jungwon was stood at the end of the porch steps, leaned against a post with his hands stuffed in jean pockets. He looked up at you and sent you a smile whilst you returned it and stood at the top of the steps, looking down at him.
"Hi." He spoke back, letting out a sigh as silence swarmed the two. It was suffocating and all you wanted to do was leave. It was a weird feeling you were feeling when being with Jungwon.
Before, you wanted nothing more than to be around him because he made you feel comfortable, and forget about all of your worries, yet now, you felt the complete opposite.
"Listen," The boy began, letting a pregnant pause fall between you as he looked away from you and out at the sea. "I don't think this is going to work." He revealed, turning to look back at you, who now had a brow raised in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't think me and you are going to be able to more forward." He explained and as the words hit you, you felt your chest slightly ache.
Why?
"Its obvious you're meant to be with someone else..." Jungwon sadly shrugged, answering your thoughts before you had the chance to vocalize them.
"Jungwon, I don't understand," you shook your head, walking down the steps so that you were face to face with him, your brows still furrowed. "What do you mean I'm 'meant to be with someone else'?"
The boy before you kissed his teeth and ran a hand through his healthy, brown hair in frustration. "You and Jake, y/n... it's obvious, is it not?"
"No," you shook her head. "It's not obvious."
It wasn't obvious because there wasn't anything going on between you. He was just your brothers best friend... nothing more, nothing less.
You were over him, you didn't want him anymore... right?
"Well then that's something you both need to sort out." Jungwon licked his lips, shaking his head slowly as he began to take a few steps back. "I'll see you around, y/n."
You remained silent for a moment as you watched as the Yang boy walked away from you, your shoulders feeling as if they were caving in on you.
Perhaps you didn't like Jungwon as much as you thought you did?
Sighing to yourself, you ran a through your hair and turned on your heel to head back inside — however, your eyes widened slightly and you felt your breathing hitch at the sight of him, Jake Sim, standing in the doorway.
“Are you okay?" Jake's voice rang out softly as he took a step forward, closing the front door behind him. His black hair sat effortlessly on his forehead, and he was clad in a pale red, sweater that had white writing on and was split at the collar, along with a pair of blue denim jeans that had a few rips in.
If you were being honest, he looked perfect (as always). The bright glow from the sun shone down onto him, making him look even more majestic than he already was.
"What?" You questioned in surprise, you being caught off guard by his question.
"Are you okay?" Jake repeated, slowly making his way towards you with his hands in his front pockets. "I mean," He began, shrugging slightly as you looked up at him. "I saw what happened, and I know you liked him..."
Your eyebrows furrowed in ultimate confusion. It felt as if the old Jake had returned as his voice was laced with sincerity and his eyes glassy; the Jake at the start of the trip having vanished.
"Oh..." you quietly spoke, gulping as his eyes remained on you, making a volcano of nerves erupt in your stomach. "I'll be okay." You nodded your head, forming your lips into a tight line as you sighed.
If only he knew you were much more broken about him, rather than Jungwon...
"Come," The boy instructed as he headed towards Jay's car with the keys in his hand. You hadn't even noticed them in his clutch. "I wanna take you somewhere."
Confused and shocked, your eyebrow raised slightly in suspicion as you followed after him. "Did Jay even allow you to use his car?" You wondered, a breathy chuckle falling from your lips, (knowing how protective your brother was over his most prized possession) as Jake opened the passenger door for you.
"He's my best friend, Y/n," Jake pointed out the obvious. "Of course he'll allow me — and he thinks I'm going to the shop to get snacks." He grinned, which only made you mirror his expression and get into the car (your chest filled with curiosity).
As the Sim boy got into the seat beside you and started the car, you couldn't help but feel nervous as you watched as one of his hands steered the wheel and the other occasionally rested on the side by the rolled down window, or lingered on the gear stick. His eyes remained on the road in a concentrated manner, and his lip was often found between his teeth.
You could almost hear the blood pumping through your body as your cheeks heated; visions of last nights hide and seek game returning to you. You remembered how his warm breath fanned your face, causing goosebumps to decorate your skin, and how he laid his hand on your mouth, preventing you from getting them caught. You remembered how his taller figure almost pressed against your smaller one, and how your lips were oh so close to touching —
You hadn't even realize the car had come to a halt until your door was opened, instantly snatching you from your long train of memories.
Once you stepped out of the vehicle, and the instant wave of heat hit your in the face, your eyes landed on a boardwalk with many different stalls on, and below the boardwalk was a beach that had a few people sunbathing on whilst others shopped at the mini stands, buying all sorts of souvenirs.
"Come on," Jake chuckled at your shocked expression, walking towards the walkway. You couldn't help but smile and follow after him. You’d only been here a few times with your family, so now you were here with just Jake, you were more than excited.
However, reality sunk in as you both started looking at the different key rings on a stall and you couldn't help but sigh heavily.
Why was Jake doing this? He had a girlfriend, so why was he taking you out and buying you things like he was more than just your brothers best friend?
"Do you like these?" Jake wondered, holding up a pair of sunglasses to his face and posing, which only made you laugh at his silly behavior. Your heart was pounding and it felt as if it was about to burst from your rib cage. The reason for you liking Jake Sim in the first place was returning and you didn't know what to do or how to control your feelings...
"I love them, Jake." You chuckled and he grinned back, revealing his gummy smile as he turned to the lady to pay.
You shouldn't be here.
You and Jungwon had just ended whatever was going on between you, and Jake had something going with Niah...
It was meant to feel wrong, yet it felt so right.
A little while later, after a few hours of shopping, both of your feet were beginning to ache from walking around so much, and sweat was dripping from your foreheads, so you decided to stop at an ice cream parlor to cool down.
"Do you think Jay's mad?" You wondered after taking a bite from your Caramel flavored Ice Cream, making Jake look up from his cup of Ice Cream, shaking his head slightly.
"I'm taking his sister out, I have a good explanation." Jake chuckled, the image of an angry Jay appearing in his head — along with the thought of you now being single...
He no longer had to worry about you with some other guy that wasn't him.
He no longer had to feel jealous when seeing you with someone other than him.
Silence fell upon them for a moment as you enjoyed your food, finally being able to feel a sense of coolness well within your bodies. It was relaxing as you enjoyed one another's company — though, the silence was short lived as you felt a question threatening to fall from your tongue.
"Jake," you began, licking your lips nervously. There were many things that were playing on your mind ever since you sat in your brothers car. "Did you hear everything Jungwon said?" You wondered, hoping he hadn't heard the Yang boy insinuate things between you and Jake.
Jake paused for a second, thinking back to earlier when he eavesdropped on you and Jungwon — quite easily remembering the confusion in your voice as you questioned Jungwon, and Jungwon's explanation.
The boy bit his bottom lip before shaking his head.
"No, I only watched him walk away," He lied, shrugging his shoulders, not telling you the truth. "I guess I gathered the conversation wasn't good by your guys' facial expressions." He explained and you nodded your head slightly, hesitantly believing him as they went on to finish their Ice Cream.
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"Jake, what the hell! Don't soak me!" You screamed as you hurriedly ran away from the Sim boy, who was chasing after you in the shallow water of the Sea, desperately trying to wet you.
After finishing your cold snack, you both decided to head down to the beach. You’d only planned on sitting on the sand for a little while, however with Jake's complaining about how hot the weather was, he ended up rolling his jeans up and forcing you to go in with him.
Laughter accentuated from you both as droplets of water fell from Jake's raven hair, and you did everything you could to not get wet.
"I said I don't want to get wet!" You yelled at him, though the boy took no notice of your words and quickly splashed the salty water onto you, instantly making you bring your arms up to cover your face as your clothes dampened.
It was quiet for a while as Jake waited for a reaction to spring from you, him doing everything he could to not break out in hysterics. You let out a small huff before quickly splashing him back.
There was no way you were going to allow him to soak you and not be able to do it back.
A little while later, once both you and Jake grew tired of messing around in the water, you sat yourselves down on the sand to dry off; you looking out at the beautiful ocean and Jake pulling out a cigarette beside you.
Glancing over at him with the stick between his lips, about to light it, you couldn't help but sigh in disapproval. You’d always been against smoking when growing up, knowing the causes it had, so when you witnessed Jake, one of the boys (besides your brother and father and best friend) you cared for most following through with those actions, you felt worried.
"I don't like it when you smoke." You spoke up, turning your head to face him as he blew out a drag of the acrid air.
Jake, slightly caught off guard, turned to look at you as he pulled the cigarette from his lips and held it between his fingers and away from you.
"Why?" He lowly asked, subconsciously allowing his eyes to fall down to your lips, which only made your breathing quiver.
"Because it's bad for you." You stated, attempting to swallow the nerve-filled lump in your throat as his face leaned slightly closer to yours. "You're basically just killing yourself — Do you know how much—"
A small laugh escaped Jake's mouth, cutting you off as he nodded his head slightly, moving his eyes back to your own eyes.
"Okay." He nodded, smoothly putting out the cigarette. "I'll stop." He announced, quietly.
"What?" You questioned, taken back by his actions. "That easy?"
"Yeah," Jake bobbed his head. "If you want me to stop, y/n, I'll stop," He explained, narrowing his attention back to your plump lips as he licked his own.
"Just for you." He spoke just above a whisper, the air around them instantly feeling thick and suffocating, and yet all you wanted to do was drown in it.
Gulping once again, you could feel your body become numb and your mouth become dry as you watched as Jake slowly started to lean in; his attention dancing between your lips and eyes.
You didn't know what to do.
You wanted to kiss him so bad.
You wanted to finally give in to her four year crush and plant your lips on his and allow him to have his way with you, however there was still Jay and Niah.
You couldn't do that to them...
"Y/n," Jake began, traces of nervousness in his voice as he slowly brought his hand up and delicately held the side of her face, setting off millions of butterflies in your stomach.
There was a pregnant pause as you waited for Jake Sim to finish his sentence. You could hear your breathing quicken and your heart pick up its pace as his warm hand held your face, you wanting nothing more than to lean into his touch,
"Can I kiss you?"
"Jake..." You breathed out, gulping nervously as your eyes diverted down to his red, plump lips that were only centimeters away from touching your own.
You could feel your heartbeat beating throughout your body, and ill thoughts of you and Jake sprouting in your mind; scenes of what might possibly happen if you allowed his lips to touch yours.
And you wanted to allow him — so badly...
You wanted to fulfill your dreams of kissing the boy you’ve liked for years. You wanted to give in to the temptations, you really did...
However, the images of your brother and Niah appeared in your head, clogging your thoughts and a stream of guilt ran through your body, turning you cold.
You couldn't do that to them...
"We can't." You shook your head, your accent meek as you hesitantly turned to look away from him — your heart painfully aching in your chest.
As much as you wanted to kiss Jake Sim, not wanting to hurt anybody was far more important to you rather than your happiness.
Jake remained silent as he nodded his head, his eyes landing on the ocean before him as he licked his lips.
"My brother, Jake," you reminded the boy beside you, your attention landing back on him. "And Niah, you're girlfriend... We just can't... I don't want to hurt them."
"I understand, Y/n," Jake reassured, running a hand through his hair as he stood up from the sand. "Now come on," He grinned, ignoring the odd feeling in his stomach. "I'm pretty sure Jay is gonna get suspicious." He chuckled.
You stifled out a laugh as you agreed and stood up, trailing behind him with a heavy heart as he headed towards the car.
You couldn't believe what had happened.
Once both you and Jake arrived back at the holiday home after buying snacks from the convenience store and a long, silent journey home, you both parted ways: Jake heading to the living room to play video games, where he received Jay's rant about how long he took, and you hurried up to your bedroom, shutting your door behind you and laying yourself across your mattress.
Images of Jake flashing through your head as you shut your eyes, a long sigh escaping your lips.
You could only wonder what would of happened if you allowed him to kiss you... you could only imagine the feeling of his warm lips against yours and what would of played out if your innocent acts escalated and turned sinful — and so, as your thoughts trailed, and your fingers subconsciously brushed against your parted lips, you felt her chest heave and your cheeks turn red with fluster.
The only sound you could hear were the yells of Jay, Jake, Sunghoon and Niki downstairs as they played their game, and your mother and fathers mumbled conversation from outside seeping through your slightly ajar window. It was enough to send you into a slumber as Jake Sim's face took over everything.
Later that night, everybody was sat around the family table, eating the food yours and Jay's parents provided. There were brief conversations taking place between Jay, his father, Niki and Sunghoon about the latest Football scores, and Niah and your mother chit-chatting about their split ends.
Though, you and Jake sat in silence with you resting your head on your palm as you mindlessly played with the food on your plate, glancing up at Jake before you every now and then — who refused to look at you, as he kept his eyes plastered on the dish.
Ever since you’d awoken from your nap a few hours ago, Jake had done everything he could to avoid you.
When you entered the kitchen to get yourself a glass of orange juice, he was quick to exit, telling Sunghoon he had to 'drop the kids off at the pool', completely disregarding your presence.
After that, when everyone (minus your parents) were gathered in the living room, watching old movies, you had joined a little later, sitting next to Jake as it was the only available seat — though the Sim boy was quick to stand and move to sit on the uncomfortable, wooden floor (where he later moaned about having a numb bum).
His sudden change angered you. You couldn't seem to understand why he was avoiding you and acting as if you were the one that asked him to kiss you.
And so, as dinner continued and more small talk was made, you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, annoyed, and saddened — and it seemed that your mother was quick to pick up on your low mood.
"Y/n, help me clean the plates, will you?" Your mum asked with a sweet smile on her lips, making it hard for you to decline.
"What's going on?" Jihye (your mother) questioned, glancing at you as she scrubbed the plates clean.
"What do you mean?" You asked, playing off your current emotions with a confused smile. You were never good at expressing your emotions, especially to your parents, so the situation you were currently in made your body shrivel with embarrassment and uncomfortableness.
"Don't play dumb, y/n," your mother warned, handing you a dish to dry. "You're my baby girl, I know when something's up, now come on, tell me."
Shaking your head and releasing a breathy chuckle, you sighed. "There's nothing wrong, Mum, trust me."
"So if there's nothing wrong, why are you and Jake avoiding each other like an old married couple?"
Instantly, your eyes widened in shock which only made your mother laugh and shake her head. "Honestly, y/n, you're both acting like you've had a massive row. Have you?"
"No..." you denied, feeling your shoulders slump. To be honest, you didn't completely know. Were you having a argument with Jake? And if so, what over?
"That doesn't sound too convincing." Jihye hissed, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes down at you, who threw your head back and released a groan.
"I feel awful." You bluntly stated, looking up at your mother, whose brows creased in confusion.
"Why's that?"
"Because..." you took a deep breath in, preparing yourself for what you were about to reveal. Never in your life had you revealed your deepest secret to anyone in your family. You were always afraid of their reaction, worried they'd tell Jay, or degrade you for liking your older brothers best friend.
"I think I'm in love with Jake — and I know I shouldn't be because he's Jay's best friend, and Jay's warned me about liking any of his friends and he has a girlfriend, but I can't help it, Mum, I really can't." You began, and as you ranted, you couldn't help but notice your shoulders begin to feel lighter — as if a ton of bricks had been pulled from you.
"I've tried to move on, but he's always there and it's so annoying," you breathed out, your tone filled with pain and pent up frustration. "And one minute he's acting like he likes me too, and the next he's avoiding me like I've insulted him. I hate it, Mum, I hate it so much."
Without another word, your mother pulled you in for a hug, wanting nothing more than to take your worries and pain from you.
"I don't know how to handle it anymore, Mum." You whispered into your mothers hair as you wrapped your arms around the older woman's waist.
"It'll get easier, y/n, I promise." Jihye reassured, pulling back to look down at you. "He's a boy — they can be immature creatures at times, trust me. You need to be straightforward with him and pull him up on his behavior. As much as I love him like he's my own, he shouldn't treat you the way he has."
You remained silent, listening to your mothers words and nodding your head in agreement. She was right after all. You needed to confront Jake Sim immediately. He shouldn't get to treat you how he likes.
"You're right." You stated, and Jihye grinned.
"See," She playfully nudged you. "I said I could sense something was up." She chuckled. "Now, find the right time to talk to him about it — and if I was you, I'd make sure you explain it in a way to make sure he understands. Boys can be quite dense at times." She shrugged, which only made a laugh pass your lips as you nodded once again, before continuing to dry the dishes.
You were going to take your mothers advice and do as said as soon as possible.
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Aa the glowing moon overtook the once blazing sun, you sat silently on the ledge of the pool with your legs submerged in the cool, chlorine water; your mothers words continuing to spiral in your head.
Everyone had either gone up to their rooms to hang around, or were fast asleep, so the only noise that you could hear were the crickets in the distance as you focused your attention on your legs that were swaying in the water — the nap you’d taken earlier causing you not to feel tired.
"Hi." You heard his voice quietly and softly announce, making you fall away from your thoughts and look over to the sliding doors that Jake Sim was closing behind him. Immediately, your brows furrowed in anger and a scoff left your lips.
Hi? Was he stupid?
"What?" You harshly asked, refusing to look up at him. You were fed up of his bullshit.
"Y/n—" Jake began, as he headed over to you, however before he could get any other words out, you put a halt to his actions.
"No," you shook your head, looking up at him, a scowl present on your face. "You don't get to come out here and sweet talk me into making me forget how you were with me this evening." You stated rather harshly. "I can't deal with it anymore, Jake. I'm not some doll you can mess around with. I'm human too, I have feelings, you know?" You huffed, turning to look away from the boy who stood with his hands deep in his jean pockets.
"Y/n, let me explain—" He attempted to start, though you shook your head once again, licking your lips. You no longer cared. You were going to take your mothers advice and explain everything.
"Shut up, Jake," you ordered, catching him off guard. "You can't keep treating me like I'm a piece of gum — one minute you're all for me, and then the next you're acting like I'm just on the bottom of your shoe. I'm fed up. I've had enough. I'm not a kid anymore, so quit treating me like shit." You firmly stated as you stood up, getting your legs out of the pool and standing face to face with the older boy.
It was now or never.
"I like you, Jake, so much and I have for a long time, but you're my brothers best friend — you have a girlfriend, and you're mean to me for no reason, and I just have to deal with it. Do you know how hard that is for me?—"
"Do you know how hard it is for me?" Jake cut you off, pointing to himself as he let out a breathy chuckle, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he glanced away from you, who was now confused more than ever. What was he talking about?
"You're my best friends baby sister, I shouldn't like you, but I can't help it, Y/n." He revealed, which instantly made your eyes widen at his confession. "I feel so guilty for feeling the way I do towards you because I'm betraying Jay — You know, I promised him at the start of our friendship that I wouldn't look at you in such a way, but I just can't help it, y/n, you do things to me that I can't explain."
Silence fell upon you both as neither of you knew what to say. The tension was thicker than it had ever been, and currently, all you wanted to do was latch your hands on one another — but you knew you couldn't.
Taking a gulp and a small sigh, you slightly shook your head, confusion taken over your facial expression.
"So why treat me the way you have? I don't get you. You make me feel special for a second, and the next you're making me feel like I've done something to you."
You watched as Jake ran a frustrated hand through his hair and parted his plump lips. "Because you have, Y/n," He started, pausing for a split second to gather his words before continuing.
"I've never felt this way before. I thought at first it was just some stupid little crush on my best friends younger sister, but it just continued to grow bigger and I couldn't handle it. I felt guilty. So I thought the best way to get over you was just to get with a load of girls—"
"And become a man whore?" You questioned, which only made Jake send a glare at you before continuing his explanation.
"That obviously didn't work — but when I moved to Australia for College, I thought I finally forgot about my feelings for you. I believed I was finally over you, that's why I got with Niah, but coming here and seeing you again made realize I was wrong, y/n — so wrong. It wasn't like I could just go back to my old ways and sleep around, so I thought it'd just be best to push you away—"
"On days you felt like it?" You interrogated, raising your brow which only made Jake huff.
"Y/n, I'm sorry." He apologized, stepping towards you, hoping you wouldn't move away from him — and you didn't.
You allowed him to stand closer to you.
She allowed him to stand closer to her.
She allowed him to gently take hold of the sides of her face.
She allowed him to raise her lowered head.
She allowed him to caress her cheeks with his thumbs.
She allowed their eyes to meet, and she allowed her heart to flutter.
"I'm so sorry," Jake said just above a whisper, his eyes never leaving yours. "I don't know what to do. I've never felt this way about someone like I do with you."
Your breathing hitched at the boys words and you felt your cheeks heat up. This was all you wanted. You finally had the boy you’ve liked — the boy you’ve fallen in love with — confessing his feelings to you and all you wanted to do was kiss him.
"Jake," you just about managed to get out, her throat feeling tight and her chest feeling heavy with emotion. The tension between them was suffocating as they both stood in the back garden, the glow from the pool shining onto them, both of their intentions being the same.
"I—" you started, however the sound of the sliding doors abruptly shutting was heard, quickly causing both of your heads to snap over in the direction of it, worry and confusion pumping through both of your veins.
Had someone been listening?
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Waking up the next day, Jake Sim felt different — in a good and bad way. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders now that he had realized he still felt the same way he always had for you, and confessed his feelings to you, yet the remaining thought of Jay and Niah was still evident in the back of his mind.
He knew he'd end up hurting Jay if he ever found out about the way Jake felt towards his younger sister, but he couldn't help it. The feelings he felt for you were far too strong for him to keep to himself any longer — it'd end up killing him.
Jake Sim also knew he would have to speak to Niah before it was too late. He couldn't continue to lead her on, making her believe he loved her when in reality, he didn't, she was just a distraction.
It was wrong, he knew that, and so as he threw his covers from his body, sending a 'Goodmorning' nod to Sunghoon, who was busy drying his hair in the mirror (Jay already having got up hours before everyone else), Jake stood up.
A yawn fell from his lips and he stretched his body slightly, desperately trying to escape the early morning fatigue — however, if his stretching wasn't enough to wake him, the note on the bed side table with his name on sure was.
His brows creased with confusion and he sent a quick glance over to Sunghoon to see if he had any idea on what the mysterious note was, though the Park boy shook his head and turned the hair dryer off.
Jake picked up the note, sitting on the edge of his bed to open it up, curiosity welling up in his veins as his eyes landed on each and every word.
To: Jake,
By the time you end up reading this, I would've left. The time I spent at the Parks holiday home was truly a one of a kind experience, and I'll forever be grateful to you for introducing me to Mr & Mrs Park, and of course, y/n. I like y/n, she's cute and any guy would be an idiot not to realize his feelings for her (p.s, you're the idiot !!)
I knew the minute she stepped out of her parents car on the first day of summer that there was something going on. I mean, if you're constant staring at her didn't tell me, then your overprotectiveness was just a slap in the face — and then when I overheard your guys' conversation by the pool last night, it really gave me clarity. I no longer felt like a toxic girlfriend that was overlooking every interaction you both had.
So, no hard feelings, yeah? We're still going to remain friends, right? I wanna know all the updates between you and y/n (good luck with Jay!!)
P.S: tell y/n that she MUST come visit Australia so that we can get our nails done together!!
- Niah
A heavy breath left Jake's mouth as he stayed silent, staring down at the letter. He didn't know how to feel. He was shocked at the way Niah handled the situation, knowing most girls he'd been with in the past would of gone a-wall. If anything, Niah's reaction made him respect the girl even more.
And so, as Jake folded the note back up and stood, he exited the bedroom, preparing himself for the questions he would be asked about Niah's disappearance.
"So, she just left?" Jay questioned as he spooned a load of scrambled eggs onto his plate. Everybody had decided to sit outside on the bench to enjoy the breakfast both Jay and your parents had prepared considering it was a beautiful day and coming up to their final days at the holiday home.
You watched as Jake nodded his head, the boy and you stealing glances at one another every now and then as he was sat opposite you on the bench.
"Yeah," He began, slowly dragging his eyes away from you. "She told me she was feeling homesick and that our relationship wasn't working." He shrugged and as his story hit your ears, you couldn't help but think back to last night.
Was Niah really homesick? Or had she heard yours and Jake's conversation late last night?
"Sorry to hear that, Jake." Your father sympathized with the younger boy, sending him a tight lipped smile.
The breakfast continued peacefully, with small talk taking place from all ends of the bench, however just like yesterday, you and Jake stayed silent; last nights events still playing out in your heads.
You had finally revealed how you felt about one another, so now what?
"Why don't you lot head down to the theme park?" Mrs Park suggested as she finished her plate of food, grasping everybody's attention. "You haven't been there yet, and the holiday is almost over. I heard it's better than it was last year." She wiggled her eyebrows, intriguingly.
Instantly, your eyes widened slightly at the thought of visiting the theme park and many memories flooded your head. It was almost every year (since you were six) you’d gone there and had fun, so it was only right to go this year round. You’d always been sucker for the rides (which you loved forcing Jay to go on) and the headbands.
And so, just when you thought the day would be filled with overthinking and a lack of communication from Jake, your plans were quickly changed because now, you were sat in the back of your brothers car between Jake and Sunghoon.
And so, if it wasn’t for asking Sunghoon to roll down his window, then you would've become a pool of water by the time you could arrive at the theme park.
You didn't think sitting next to Jake Sim would be so difficult, yet there you were, sat beside the older boy trying to contain your ragged breathing as your thighs lightly brushed against each others.
You weren’t sure if your outburst of nerves was due to the fact you hadn't spoken properly since your mutual confession, or because your bodies were squished so closely together due to Sunghoon obnoxiously manspreading.
You hated that you could feel the sweat dripping down the back of your neck — even after having the cool air blow into the car. You tried to focus your thoughts on other things, like listening to your brother and best friend singing their hearts out to a song that was playing on the radio, or thinking about the first ride you’d go on once arriving (if you even made it).
Quietly, it felt as if your thoughts were eating you up. The nonstop voice in your head telling you to just turn your head and see what Jake was doing was almost deafening. A part of you wanted to. You wanted to see what was occupying him during the long, tension-filled car ride, however another part of you didn't; afraid you’d catch eyes or your stomach would erupt in butterflies and make you puke all over the boy.
You ended up going with the latter, and just chose to imagine what he was doing instead — after all, that would be better than throwing your breakfast up on him...
Once you had all eventually arrived, you were quicker than ever to climb out of the car. You could hear the screams and cheers from other people at the amusement park, and the sound of the metal wheels on a cart gliding against the metal railways filled your ears.
A bubble of excitement grew in the pit of your stomach as you glanced over at Niki, who'd already been looking at you, and you both shared the same look of excitement before hurrying over to the entrance, leaving Jay and the other older boys to sort out the payments.
"I haven't been here in so long!" You beamed, your eyes jumping from one ride to the next. "We should go on the 'Hulker Sulker'," you informed your best friend, who eagerly nodded. "That one is so fast!"
"Y/n!" You heard your brother call out for you, instantly making you impatiently turn around. "Sunghoon doesn't want to go on the 'Hulker Sulker', so I'll stay off with him. You, Niki and Jake go on, and please be careful."
Far to excited to care that you’d have to sit next to Jake again, you rolled your eyes at your brother's protectiveness and bobbed your head in understanding before hurrying over to the long (thirty minute) queue.
As the day went on and you lead the boys from one ride to the next, and sat down for a quick lunch before being ushered up again due to a ride that caught your eye, the four boys tiredly stood in front of you, running a hand through their hair whilst yawning and groaning about their aching legs — even Niki, the boy that would constantly match your high energy had become exhausted.
"None of you want to go on with me?" You questioned, your expression filled with shock. It wasn't usual they got tired this easily, however it was expected due to the beaming rays of sun that constantly peered down on them.
The four boys sent a few glances between one another. A look as if to say 'who wants to suck it up and go on?' and all you could do was huff.
"You don't have to come on, don't worry." You chuckled. "I can just ride it on my own." You shrugged and turned on your heel, about to walk away and to join the already long queue.
"Wait," you heard a voice call out to you, which only made a slight smirk form on your face as you then turned around to see who would accompany you on the pirate ship.
Instantly, as your eyes landed on the familiar set of dark, brown eyes and the dark lock of hair that sat on his head, you felt your heart pound against your chest.
How were you going to survive an hour long queue with Jake Sim?
"I'll come on with you." He stated and they began walking to the entrance, you still shocked.
"Are you sure?" You questioned, hesitantly glancing back to the other three boys before looking up at Jake, who nodded and shrugged his shoulders, shoving his hands in his denim jean pockets.
"Yeah, I like the Pirate Ship," He revealed with a playful grin. "It's a childhood favorite." Jake slightly nudged you, softly, making you let out a chuckle as you both stood behind a group of people.
Silence overtook you two. It wasn't comfortable, nor was it uncomfortable. It was just silence.
You found yourself being occupied by one of the fake plants the park had used to decorate the waiting area, and Jake was busy kicking a pebble on the floor and habitually biting his lip.
"Are you having fun?" The boy wondered, moving his attention away from the small stone and over to you, who had now whipped your head over in his direction and nodded.
"Of course, there's never been a time where I haven't had fun at the theme park." You grinned, ignoring the memory of ten year old Jay puking all over your hair as you went down a slope in a ride.
"Cute." You heard Jake mumble beneath his breath whilst he allowed his eyes to linger on you for a little longer, before the line moved. You could feel your cheeks burning and your stomach flutter and sweat trail down her body.
The things he made you feel...
Memories of the breakfast you had earlier appeared in your head and you quite quickly remembered the abrupt news you were told by Jake about Niah's departure. You couldn't help but wonder if Niah being 'homesick' was the real issue and you desperately wanted to ask the boy beside you and find out the truth, however you didn't want to ruin the mood.
Gradually, the line had begun moving a lot more frequently which only made the two of you happy and even more thrilled to ride the Pirate ship ride that was a fan favorite — however, just as you made it to the front of line, desperate to climb onto the mechanical device, the metal chain dividing the areas was placed in front of them.
"Sorry, the tanks to operate the ride need to be checked." One of the workers (who looked no older than sixteen) informed the pair, earning a groan in response from you. "The wait will be a little over forty-five minutes, thank you for waiting and sincere apologies." The boy sloppily spoke, clearly not too pleased about being where he was.
Jake nodded his head in understanding and soon after, the worker disappeared the sit on the stool whilst the ride was being looked at.
You watched from afar, worry welling up in your chest as many gruesome thoughts flooded your head. What if the ride broke down during the time you were on it? What if it exploded? What if you all died? What if some 'Final Destination' stuff occurred? Or what if —
"Hey, y/n," you heard Jake's soft voice cut you from your trail of thoughts, immediately making you look up from the floor and drop the hand you were biting your nails on to the side of your body. "Don't worry," He reassured, sending you his signature smile that no doubt made your stomach swirl. "They're fixing it, they wouldn't let us go on if it wasn't safe."
You nodded your head slightly, his words only adjusting your thoughts slightly. Despite your love for fast rides and going upside down and screaming your lungs out, there was no doubt that you were continuously anxious about the whole ordeal. Just the mere thought of dying on a roller coaster turned your warm blood, cold and made you break into an icy sweat.
As time went on and the sun continued to shine down on everyone, you couldn't help but begin to grow tired (just like everyone else). The bright ball of fire in the sky was draining you and causing your t-shirt to stick to your back, uncomfortably. It didn't help that where you were lined up had nowhere to sit, so you couldn't relax your legs and shut your eyes for a little while — which annoyed you.
A yawn escaped your mouth and you released a long sigh, bowing your head ever so slightly and closing your eyes. You had only planned to be in that position for a little over five minutes, however as time went on and your legs became numb and your breathing got heavier, you found herself unknowingly drifting off.
Jake, who stood in front of you, leaning against the small, waist high wall behind him had a smile plastered across his lips as he watched as you lowered your head. It truly was a sight for sore eyes and without another word, he stood up properly and gently tugged you forward by your hip, allowing your head to rest against his chest.
He too, was exhausted, though he wasn't going to allow you to end up falling flat on your face whilst he attempted to relax his eyes. An even wider smile grew on his plump (bitten) lips as you instinctively wrapped your arms around his slim waist, nuzzling your head into him to become more comfortable.
You stayed like that for a while, with Jake gently and subconsciously tapping his finger on your back. Even though from afar the position they were in might of looked uncomfortable, you and Jake were far from it — and that's all that mattered.
Finally, after almost another hour long wait, the worker returned, informing everybody that the ride was safe to go on. A few cheers were heard here and there, and nervously, (after you had awoken from your quick slumber) you stepped forward and hesitantly made your way towards the ship.
Was it too late to back out yet?
Reassuringly, you felt Jake's smooth hand slip into your smaller one and he lead you to the back row of seats. You could hear him encouraging you the whole time (which did work a little), and just as the ride counted down from three to begin, you squeezed the older boys hand as a way of telling him not to let go — which he had no plans on doing so.
It had been a few hours since then, and after escaping the amusement park and getting into Jay's car to begin your journey home, silence immediately erupted in the vehicle and the soft noise of the radio seeped through the speakers, creating a relaxing car ride.
Once again, you were sat in the middle between a sleeping Sunghoon, and Jake, who was busy scrolling through his phone. You could feel your eyes grow heavier by the minute and exhaustion fill your veins — just like it did earlier — as your head slowly began to drop, unable to stay conscious.
A sigh left your lips as you raised your head and turned to look out the window. You refused to fall asleep in the car, knowing that the many times you’d done it before always resulted in horrendous neck pain. You weren’t going to put yourself through that and decided to wait until you were in the comfort of your bedsheets to shut your aching eyes.
"Y/n," you heard Jake quietly call out to you; his voice was just above a whisper and almost nonexistent, and if you hadn't been sat next to him, you definitely wouldn't of heard him.
His eyes slowly trailed over your profile, taking in every feature and blemish that decorated your face so perfectly. In his eyes (and he was sure everyone else's too) you were perfect — and when his eyes eventually landed on your pink, plump lips, he felt his throat tighten.
"Here." He bluntly spoke, nudging his shoulder out to you before looking away, afraid you’d spot the blush creeping on his cheeks.
You sat in shock. You hadn't expected him to offer his shoulder to you — you were even overthinking his gesture, wondering if what you thought he meant really was what he was implying.
And so, nervously, you moved your head and gently laid it against the boys t-shirt clad shoulder. At first, it was uncomfortable. You could feel his bones digging into your temple which only made you grimace, however after adjusting your position so that you could lean on him more, he soon became a good enough pillow.
It wasn't long until Jake followed after you, his head bobbing low until it soon fell onto yours, subconsciously. His lips were slightly parted as he nuzzled his head against yours, desperate for comfort (which eventually came) — and due to the two of you being unconscious and in total bliss, Jay's confused eyes that were glaring through the rear view mirror went completely unnoticed as soft snores left both yours and Jake's mouths.
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A little while later, once arriving home and you and Niki having quickly made your way up to your room and hurriedly tangled your limbs with one another, you both drifting off into a deeper (and much more comfortable) sleep.
It wasn't until the sun had completely set that you woke up again, quietly sitting up in your bed, desperately trying not to awake the sleeping boy beside you as you removed his leg from your waist.
It seemed that the exhaustion had decided to finally exit your body, and so now you were now full of energy — and had no idea what to do with it. You were sure everybody else in the house was fast asleep, so it wasn't like you could wake anyone up so that they could entertain you.
Sighing to yourself, you stood and made your way to your chest of drawers, where you then began searching for her bathing suit.
It wasn't often that you tended to go for a night swim in the families pool; your fathers constant reminder that 'You could drown and we wouldn't know until we see you at the bottom of the pool the next morning' ringing through your mind, however you were bored and were in desperate need for fun.
Once changing and grabbing yourself a towel, you were immediately hit with the humid air as soon as you set foot outside, quietly shutting the sliding doors behind you. As usual, the pool glowed yellow and had soft, delicate waves in it, creating a soothing noise as they bounced off of one another.
Dropping your towel to the floor, a smile appeared on your lips as sat on the ledge with your feet dangling in the water. It was moments like this that made you realize how grateful you were for the holiday home your parents bought sixteen years ago — and it was moments like this, that needed ruining by a certain boy who'd messed with your heart far too many times.
"Can I join?" Jake Sim's voice seemed louder than it actually was due to everything being silent. His abrupt disruption made you jump ever so slightly in shock and you instantly felt your heartbeat begin to get faster as he headed towards you, wearing nothing but swimming shorts and a white towel hanging from one shoulder.
You’d seen Jake's bare chest multiple times, though now it felt different. The situation felt a lot more intimate with just the two of you by the pool late at night (practically half naked).
It felt suffocating.
"I don't mind." You nervously shook your head, your voice as quiet as ever, which only made you mentally curse yourself and roll your eyes. Why did your voice have to show how you were feeling?
The Sim boy didn't utter a word. All he did was set his towel down beside your one and immediately jumped into the pool without warning, creating a splash of water to hit you, making a gasp fall from your parted lips.
"Jake!" You whisper yelled, your eyes quickly darting over to the closed back door, afraid your parents — or worse, your brother — would hear you. "Be quiet." You ordered in a hushed tone once the boy had risen from the water, slicking his soaked hair back.
"My bad." He chuckled and licked his lips with a mischievous grin displaying on his face.
"What's your problem?" You questioned, breaking the silence you sat in. It had been almost fifteen minutes since Jake had joined you on your 'late night swim' (you’d yet to get in the pool) and all the boy had done besides splashing you, was glue his eyes to you.
You couldn't understand why he wouldn't stop staring, but for whatever reason it was, you wanted him to stop. He made your stomach swirl with anxiety; fearing you had something on your face, or he was beginning to regret ever confessing to you that night.
"What do you mean?" Jake wondered, cocking his brow and turning his head slightly as a smirk appeared on his lips. He knew exactly what he was doing and he was loving the reaction he was getting.
"You keep staring," you firmly stated. "Stop it."
"Or what?" He urged, slowly beginning to make his way over to you from the other side of the pool. "Am I not allowed to look at you? You're more than pretty, it's hard not to stare."
Instantly, as the words processed in your head, you felt your cheeks burn brighter than a tomato and your breathing hitch as he soon arrived in front of you — his hands directly coming to rest on either side of your legs as he looked at you.
You didn't know where to look. The last time your faces were this close was when you were in the wardrobe together and that was in the dark.
So now, with the lights from the pool reflecting onto Jake's face and highlighting his pretty features, you couldn't help but shy away.
Desperately trying to escape the thick tension, you sucked in a breath and allowed your eyes to move away from his and down to the necklace that was hanging around his neck. It was simple, yet alluring. The silver chain was thin and hanging from it was a small, circular pendant that had the initials SJY engraved on.
"I like you're necklace, do you really need reminding what your initials are?" You complimented and joked (to break the tension) just above a whisper, and as the words left your mouth, Jake's one hand reached up to to the jewelry and his other moved to hold your chin, gently, and raised your head so that you could look him, a breathy chuckle falling from his lips.
"Do you want it?" He asked, his tone more sincere than you’d ever heard it be before and that only caused your eyes to widen in surprise.
"What?" You breathed out. "Jake—"
"I'm serious, y/n," And he was and you knew that, which was why it made butterflies violently flap their wings in your stomach. "You can have it." Jake spoke as he unclasped the clasp once letting go of your face.
"Are you sure?" You asked, and only received your answer as the boy attached the necklace around your neck, allowing it to fall just above your cleavage.
Though, Jake's actions were sweet and made you want to do nothing but kiss him and spill your undying love to him, you still couldn't help but wonder what you were. You didn't want to live in the dark and constantly wonder.
You wanted to know.
You needed to know.
And now was the right time to ask...
"Jake," you anxiously began, reaching up to fiddle with the pendant. The Sim boys eyes trailed away from the necklace that was once his and up to your face, his eyes instantly meeting yours as he waited for you to continue.
He watched you whilst you nervously licked and chewed away your lips as your cheeks blushed pink and he almost heard your heart pounded so hard against your rib cage.
It was cute.
You were cute.
"What are we?"
The silence was loud. Very loud — almost deafening as you watched as Jake slowly lowered his head, his tongue escaping his mouth to nervously lick his lips whilst he remained quiet, avoiding eye contact with you at all costs.
Was this his answer? Was this Jake Sim's way of saying they weren't anything? Had you been stupid enough to think that maybe, just maybe, you and Jake could ever be something?
A scoff fell past your parted lips and you shook your head in a mix of anger and annoyance. How could you of been so stupid?
"Shit..." you frustratingly whispered to yourself while your hands quickly reached up and fiddled with the clasp of the necklace, attempting to desperately remove to jewelry from you.
You felt like a complete and total fool.
However, as you focused your attention on unlinking the dainty hooks with tears beginning to blur your vision, your movements were put to an end as soon as Jake placed his hand against the side of your warm face, lifting your head up so your eyes could meet, before confidently crashing his full, red lips against her ones.
It felt as if the air had been sucked from your body as your mouths collided. You were more than shocked by his actions and couldn't quite comprehend what was unraveling as you sat on the edge of the pool with the brunette boy stood between your legs — however, you knew you liked it.
You liked pressing your lips against his and enjoyed the feeling of butterflies flying around in your stomach. It felt so surreal kissing your brothers best friend. It felt wrong but so right at the same time, and you no longer cared if you’d have to deal with your brother's disapproval.
You were snatched from your trail of thoughts once the boy slowly pulled away, his head gently resting against your forehead as the sound of your heavy breathing consumed the back garden.
Neither of you uttered a word; your minds far too hazy for words to be able to jump from your tongues. It felt as if you were drunk off of one another (which you practically were), and as you both sat in silence, thinking about the events that occurred, Jake slowly brushed his thumb across your cheek, wiping away the tear that had (unknowingly) fallen.
"I wanna be with you so bad, y/n," The older boy breathed out, his eyes not leaving your ones. "So bad." He repeated, shaking his head ever so slightly as desperation seeped through his eyes.
All you could do was nod in acceptance as you brought your other hand up to delicately move a strand of his wet hair out of his face, fighting back a ear-to-ear grin that was threatening to show on your face.
"Okay." You agreed just above a whisper and without another thought, you and Jake hungrily clashed your lips together once again, craving the taste of one another.
It was almost as if you had been deprived of each other — which in a way, you had. You both didn't want to hurt Jay's feelings, and so you restricted themselves from one another no matter how bad you wanted to be in each other's arms.
You both felt amazing; like you were on top of the world as Jake's tongue softly, yet hungrily, brushed against your bottom lip as a way of asking for entrance.
The action caused your heart to race with nerves and even though you wanted this so bad, you still hesitantly parted your lips, allowing his tongue to enter your mouth. Never in your life had you ever kissed someone before, let alone made out with somebody at your families holiday home — though, you were happy you were experiencing your firsts with Jake Sim because after all, he was (and always will be) your first love.
You could feel his hands unhurriedly depart from your face and his arms snake around your waist, Jake instantly pulling your dry body against his damp one, and he was gentle — so gentle.
It was clear that he didn't want to hurt you as his hands explored your waist, his thumb stroking the side of your stomach ever so slightly, before he slowly retreated back into the pool (hesitantly parting your lips in the midst of doing so).
His eyes were glued to you the whole time he looked up at you in awe whilst helping you into the water and assisting you with wrapping your legs around his body before you continued your steamy make out; subtly grinding your crotch against his hardening one, releasing low groans from Jake’s mouth and into your mouth.
You were closer than ever now.
Body to body.
Lips to lips.
That was all you needed.
You were both all you needed.
And so, as the night got older and the sun began to rise, you and Jake Sim remained in the (now cold) pool with their limbs tangled, your lips interlocked and your crotchets grinding against one another, wishing the moment would never end.
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"Y/n!" Your brother yelled out to you, frustratedly. "Are you even listening?" He questioned you, running a hand through his dyed hair.
"Huh?" You asked, looking up from your lap and at the boy that stood before you in the living room. The memories of last nights canoodling with Jake flooding your mind and muffling out Jay's words.
You still couldn't get over the sensation of the Sim boys lips against yours and the memory of his hands exploring your body made your latently clench your legs together and your stomach churn as your subconsciously reached up to play with the pendant — his pendant — around your neck and a tiny blush creeped upon your full cheeks.
"Are you high?" Jay interrogated, narrowing his eyes down at you to inspect your features, desperate to know the cause for your lack of attention.
"What?" You spat, looking up at your brother with creased eyebrows filled with confusion. "What are you even on about?"
"You're not listening to me." He explained and you sighed, muttering an apology beneath your breath as you waited for the boy to speak once again.
However, before he got the chance to, Niki, Sunghoon and him — Jake Sim — entered the living area, immediately gaining your attention as you watched as the two boys sat on the sofa across from you — Jake's eyes lingering on you as his lip found its way between his teeth.
"What I was trying to say was," Jay scoffed in annoyance, rolling his eyes at you and glancing over at the youngest and his two best friends to engage them in the conversation. "Heeseung's throwing an end of Summer party tonight."
"Nice." Jake grinned widely as he sat up on the chair, him and your brother dabbing one another up.
It was then, that it finally dawned on you that you would no longer be able to see Jake Sim (and your brother, of course - and Sunghoon) everyday. They would go back to their lives in Australia, and you’d go back to hers in in Seoul and you weren’t so sure how to feel about that.
"Whatever happens tonight, just remember to have fun," Jay shrugged as he, Sunghoon and Jake stood up after deciding to head to the convenience store to buy alcohol for the party. "It's our last night here and all together, it's the least we can do." He chuckled and playfully patted you on the head, making you groan and move away from him.
"Whatever you say, Jay." You rolled your eyes, already knowing he wouldn't stick to his word and end up being the overprotective brother he is all of the time.
And yet, it seemed that you were wrong — very wrong. 
Earlier on, when getting ready for Heeseung's end of Summer party, you were dreading it and even considered not going, debating on making up some lie to tell the boys that your period had started and that you felt sick.
The constant worry that your brother would follow you around like a fly and taking the 'overprotective brother' role far too seriously just made your shoulders slump and your eyes roll. You’d been to many house parties with him before in the past and even then he was always making sure you were okay and restricting your freedom.
It wasn't that you weren’t grateful to have someone care for you as much as he did, it only made you feel awful. You felt as if you were depriving Jay from enjoying himself to the full extent — so, when the group pulled up to the car-filled street and Jay told Jake and Sunghoon to keep a slight eye on you before being pulled away by a random girl, you couldn't help but feel relieved and shocked.
"Come on," you just about heard your best friend yell out to you over the music. "Let's go get drinks." He suggested, before you nodded your head in agreement and you weaved your way past plenty of intoxicated people.
Lee Heeseung's house was packed to the brim, flooding with people of all different ages, genders and races. The strong mix of scents of all kinds of alcoholic liquids and drugs were imprinted within the homes walls and carpets, and the loud, blaring sound of Heeseung's Spotify playlist boomed through the speakers that were nailed to the creme coloured walls. Disco lights danced through the rooms, brightly beaming through the windows and lighting up the front lawn, where some people sat around, taking gradual sips from the concoction in their red plastic cups. There were some people scattered out the back garden also, standing hazardously close to the lit up pool, just waiting to fall in.
It was rather easy to lose one another within the cramped home, and so that was why you kept a tight grip on the back of Niki's black, loosely fitted button up shirt, worried you’d lose your best friend in the flock of bodies. 
Once arriving at the station of drinks, your face immediately grimaced at the sight of the display of alcohol. It was quicker than ever that flashbacks from the last time you attended one of Heeseung's infamous parties appeared in your mind, and a wave of embarrassment consumed your body, causing your cheeks to tint pink as you remembered the drunken state you’d gotten herself into. 
You were most definitely not getting wasted tonight. 
After taking a small sip of the Gin and Tonic Niki eventually poured for you, the boy soon dismissed himself when a he was pulled away by a flirtatious looking girl, which only made you chuckle at his surprise expression.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing here alone?" You heard a rather familiar voice question whilst you took a gulp from your drink.
Looking up, your eyes widened slightly at the sight of the tall boy before you. His small, dark eyes met your ones and you were instantly reminded of the times you had crushed on him — Sung Hanbin — when you were just eight years old. 
Within the Park family, it was once a running joke that you were madly in love with the older boy and that you’d end up marrying one another when you were older — however, that quickly fizzled out when Hanbin stopped returning to Jeju Island one summer and became a distant memory. 
It was weird seeing him in front of you after so many years of him being MIA and you couldn't help but feel even more awkward as you stiffed out a laugh. It had been quite a while since you last spoke — the last conversation you had, Hanbin promised you’d continue your annual summer bike rides the following year (which never ended up happening).
"Hanbin?" You quietly spoke his name in surprise. "What're you doing back in Jeju? I thought you outgrew the area six years ago..." you half heartedly joked, taking another sip from your red cup as a way of filling the awkwardness between you. 
A small laugh escaped the boys thin lips and he lowered his head ever so slightly and took a few steps towards you, habitually fixing his zip up jacket. "I guess I got bored of visiting my Grandmother the past six years," He simply shrugged, biting his bottom lip and brining his hand up to move a strand of hair out of your face. "And I guess you could say I also missed our bike rides."
It appeared that you had yet to realise how close the older boy was stood in front of you as you made no signs of backing away — however, your close proximity didn't go unnoticed by the boy who had his back leaning against the door frame of the kitchen, glaring daggers at the two of you.
"Jay said to keep a slight eye on her," Park Sunghoon pointed out, glancing between you and Jake. "Not burn holes into her." He huffed out in annoyance, swilling the liquid around in his cup out of boredom. 
"So?" Jake shrugged, adverting his attention to the taller boy in front of him. "I don't know who this dude is — he could be some weird pervert and I don't want her getting hurt by him." He explained, his tone filled with protectiveness and predatory, which only made Sunghoon's brows crease with confusion. 
"Because Jay would be up my ass about it, obviously." The Sim boy quickly cleared up, standing up straight as he threw his empty cup into the trash bin, a hint of panic racing through his body at the thought of his and your relationship being found out. 
"Whatever dude," Sunghoon shook his head, a quiet, breathy chuckle falling past his red lips. "Just try and wipe the possessive look off your face before speaking to Jay about his sister, alright." He stated, though at the same time the words left his mouth, Hanbin had rested a hand on your waist (visibly making you uncomfortable which Jake took notice of).
"Yeah, whatever, man." Jake nodded his head with furrowed brows and a clenched jaw as he soon began to make his way over to you both - irritation and displeasure filling his body. 
"Leave her alone." The boy stated loud enough so that he could be heard once making it over to you two. It felt as if a ton of bricks had been taken off of your shoulders as soon as Jake interrupted you and Hanbin's 'moment' and you could't be more grateful.
You knew you should of just told the Sung boy that you weren’t interested in him like that, however it seemed he had you in a suffocating chokehold, leaving you no room to but in as his hands latched onto your body and he towered over you like a giant. 
"And who are you exactly?" Hanbin squinted his eyes in a mixture of annoyance and confusion as he let his cold hand rest on you — which Jake had been eyeing the entire time, making him bite his bottom lip in anger. 
"None of your business," Jake revealed, shaking his head slightly and taking another step forward so that he could take hold of your hand and gently pull you away from the situation, however it wasn't that easy. "We're leaving, come on, y/n." 
"Bro, does she look like she wants to leave?" Hanbin asked, nodding his head towards you, who was chewing your bottom lip whilst he moved his hand from your waist and up to take hold of your other hand. 
The Sim boy narrowed his eyes at the taller boy and couldn't help but feel dumbfounded by his reply. It was obvious you were uncomfortable and didn't want to be there, so he couldn't quite understand how Hanbin couldn't grasp that. 
"Yeah, she does." He deadpanned with the nod of his head, a sarcastic scoff escaping his slightly parted lips as he licked them.
"Just leave us alone bro, we were fine before you became such a bother." Hanbin rolled his eyes. "Quit being a cockblock and hop off my dick." He declared and turned his attention back to you, who had an expression filled with disgust spread across your features. 
"Listen, Hanbin," you went to speak up, planning on rejecting him nicely, however before you got the chance to finish your sentence, Jake had turned the eldest back around in fury, and before anyone knew it, a hard hitting punch was thrown across Sung Hanbin's face. 
Chaotic yells erupted in the kitchen as Jake's fist collided with the side of Hanbin's face, the Sim boys actions being a shock to not only Hanbin himself, but also everyone else.
Nobody had expected Jake to get into yet another fight at a party this summer, and so when their attention was grabbed when the boy threw another hit, gasps accentuated throughout the home.
Hanbin, being quick to retaliate, threw a hit back, fury spread across his features as he grabbed Jake by the collar of his t-shirt.
Your eyes widened in frenzy and you took a few steps back, unsure what to do in a situation like this. Usually, your brother would be around to prevent the fight from getting any worse, however as time went on and more and more blood leaked from both of the boys, it felt as if Jay was never going to show up and save the day.
"Jake!" You panicked and you went to take a step forward, panic bubbling in your stomach — which made her want to puke — though, just as you were about to reach out to the boy that now had a firm grip on Hanbin's jacket, you were quickly yanked back by a firm grip on your wrist.
"Are you stupid?!" You heard your brother shout over the loud music, and instantly you felt your body relax. "What the fuck happened?" Jay asked, but he didn't leave a chance for you to answer as he'd already hurried to the two boys — Sunghoon and Niki hot on his tail — to try and depart them from one another.
It felt like an eternity for Jake and Hanbin to finally be pulled apart, and as soon as you watched the Sung boy step back to where his friends were stood, you scurried over to the chaos, your bottom lip tightly tucked between your teeth as anxiety ran through your veins.
You could feel your heartbeat race as fast as ever once your brown eyes landed on Jake and you couldn't help sigh.
His nose had a few slithers of blood dripping from it and his bottom lip was completely busted, along with his red eye that was bound to bruise sooner or later.
You wanted nothing more than to engulf him in a tight hug, lecture him about his actions and take care of him, but with your brother standing only inches away, you knew you couldn't do anything. It was like you were in chains and couldn't get free.
"What happened?" Jay asked, looking away from his best friend and over to Hanbin, who was busy groaning in pain with his friends, Matthew and Jiwoong surrounding him.
"You tell me," He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he sent Jake a fierce glare. If looks could kill... "This psychotic bitch swung for me just because I was talking to your sister." Hanbin explained in annoyance.
You had drowned out the rest of Jay and Hanbin's conversation, far too concerned for the boy beside you — who had now subtly placed his hand on your waist.
He too, wanted nothing more than to escape the situation and be alone with you, and so, he let out a hiss of pain as he licked his bottom lip habitually and turned his head to look down at you.
"Let's go." He stated firmly, his eyes darkening as they narrowed down to you, leaving you speechless. It was as if you were in a trance and under his spell, because all you did was nod in agreement before allowing him to take you away, ignoring Sunghoon's knowing look and Jay's glance of confusion.
After pushing yourselves through the swarms of bodies (your hands still being interlocked), the cold air outside hit you, instantly making goosebumps form on your skin — though neither of you seemed to care. That was the least of your worries.
"Where are we going?" You quietly asked as you looked up at the boy, whose jaw was still clenched and his body remained tense as he led the way.
"I don't know..." Jake answered just above a whisper, afraid that if he spoke normally, the fury he was feeling would be revealed even more than it already was, and you would take it the wrong way — thinking he was mad at you.
Which he wasn't. He could never be mad at you.
Eventually, after a little over five minutes of walking with an unknown destination, you found yourselves at the beach, sitting next to each other ever so closely — your thighs rubbing against each others, and your arm linked with Jake's and you rested your head on his shoulder.
The view before you was beautiful. The light waves brushed against one another as the soft breeze blew in the wind. The lights from other islands in the distance were glowing brightly and a few shining stars decorated the pitch black sky. It was silent on the beach, not another human in sight. The only sound that could be heard was the water caressing the damp sand, making a sense of calmness take over you both; easing Jake's emotions.
"I can't believe tonight's our last night." You sadly sighed, feeling your shoulders drop as your eyes remained on the sight before you. The boy beside you stayed silent whilst he slightly nodded his head in agreement — his mind still playing out the scenes from earlier.
"I didn't like how he was touching you, y/n..." Jake lowly spoke, breaking the comfortable and tension filled silence between you.
His voice was quiet, yet his tone made his emotions loud and clear.
All you could do was raise your head from his shoulder and look up at him, your eyes softer than ever as he slowly moved his head to look down at you with his eyes glassy and glimmering against the lights around you. His injuries were no longer as noticeable and you couldn't help but feel your heart go pitter-patter against your chest.
Despite being in such an open area, the air between you felt stuffy and suffocating as your eyes met. Your throat felt tight and you subconsciously bit down on your lip, nervously.
"You're mine, y/n." Jake stated unwaveringly, his clenched jaw showing just how serious he was. "Not Hanbin's or anybody elses. They don't get to touch you like that..." The boy paused for a moment before he eyes unhurriedly trailed down to your lips, where he felt his heart ache with need.
"Only I do."
You sat with her mouth slightly parted, amazed at the boys words. They made your stomach churn and it felt as if caterpillars were finally hatching from their cocoons and flapping their wings rapidly as you subconsciously squeezed your legs together.
His jealousy made you feel things you’d never felt before.
His jealousy made you want to do things you’ve never done before.
Without another thought, you placed your warm hand on the side of his face and pulled him down to you so that you were only inches away from having your lips touch.
You’d kissed before, however for some unknown reason, this time felt different. There was a lot more need and sexual tension surrounding you, that you felt as if you’d lose control as soon as your lips touch.
And so, after a short moment of pained silence, you and Jake crashed your lips together, desperate for one another. You wanted each other so bad that you could no longer contain it. You didn't care if you were on a public beach and that Jay could show up at any moment and catch you, pull you apart, and demand that you stopped seeing each other. You liked each other too much to be able to do that.
It wasn't until a hiss fell from Jake's lips that you pulled away, worry taking over your features as you inspected his face. "I'm sorry," you whispered out, reaching up to delicately caress his injured lip.
"It's okay," Jake quietly reassured, shaking his head as he took hold of your hand that was touching his face. "I don't care about the pain... I just want you." He said, before reaching down to grab hold of your leg to pull you up, so that you could sit on his lap.
A chuckle escaped your lips at the sudden movement, however before any words could leave your mouth, the boy had reached back up and connected your lips again — this time it was a lot more messy.
You could feel his tip of his tongue licking at your bottom lip, desperate for entrance and you gladly gave it to him, parting your lips ever so slightly so that the muscle could explore your mouth.
You could feel his hands roughly, yet also gently, roam your body, touching over your waist, grazing your breasts, squeezing your hips and guiding them to rock against his crotch.
His actions caused a soft moan to fall from your mouth and into his, making him smirk into the kiss and roll your heat into him harder.
Instantly, as the pressure of his hard on nudged your clothed, untouched clit, you couldn’t help but detach your lips and throw your head back as a gasp flew past your lips and your hands landed on his shoulders.
“Jake…” You whimpered whilst the boy took the opportunity to attack your exposed neck with his mouth, sucking and biting it like it would be his final meal.
By now, Jake no longer had to guide you as you’d quite quickly got the hang of the sinful action and began cantering your hips into him; your arousal dampening your panties and seeping through them onto the older boys trousers.
“God,” Jake breathed out as he pulled away from your skin and attached his eyes to what you were doing, which only made a groan pass his parted lips before he shook his head in awe.
Without another word, the Sim boy swiftly flipped you over so that you were now laying beneath him on the sand with him laying between your parted legs.
Taking over your previous movement, Jake soon started to desperately grind his clothed cock into your heat, the empty beach soon filling with the sounds of your heavy breathing as you hugged the boy close to you.
It felt as if you were in a cloud of pleasure and your mind was completely fogged over as you felt your insides clench and your bottom lip find it’s way between your teeth.
Was this normal?
You thought you could only ever feel such intense pleasure from sex, not dry humping…
Suddenly, an uncontrollable gasp escaped your mouth and your eyes squinted shut as your high consumed your body, making your legs tremble and your tummy muscles clench as you came in your panties; Jake following suit whilst he lowly groaned.
“Fuck,” The boy huffed out as he kneeled upright to look down at you as his fingertips mindlessly stroked your exposed thighs. “That was so hot.”
Just the thought of you cumming from nothing but a bit of dry humping was enough the make the blood gush through his cock once again and he quickly ran a hand through his hair.
“You’re amazing, y/n,” He praised and leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “You’re so perfect.” Jake complimented and rubbed a few droplets of sweat from your head, making you smile a slightly dazed smile up at him.
It was then, in that moment, as Jake praised you and showered you in kisses as you came down from your high, that you both realized just how in love you were with each other.
───────────
You woke up the next morning with a heavy heart and your shoulders slumped; the feeling of loath streaming through your body. You really did not want to go through with what was about to come.
You didn't want to say goodbye to Jake, not now, not ever.
You could still feel the boys delicate hands roaming your body as you got ready for the day, brushing your hair whilst the image of his lust filled eyes looking up at her as you ground your hips on his lap appeared in your mind, making your stomach swirl.
Standing in front of the mirror, you felt your breathing hitch as you traced your warm fingertips over the purple marks he’d left on your collarbones.
Just the thought of Jake's soft, plump lips against your smooth skin had you going into a frenzy and made your head blur as you remembered the quiet groans that would escape his mouth as he bruised your skin.
"Y/n! Hurry up!" Your brother's voice calling out to you abruptly disturbed your thoughts, causing you to quickly snatch your hand away from the hem of your pajama shorts and a panicked breath to leave your mouth as your eyes widened and your cheeks burned red. Embarrassed at what your hand was subconsciously doing and alarmed at the mere thought of missing Jay, Sunghoon and Jake's departure.
"I'm coming!" You screamed back down to your brother, rolling your eyes at the sound of his moaning and groaning about you always taking forever filled your ears.
Huffing to yourself, you hurriedly stripped from your night clothes and got into a pair of shorts that you were sure would be comfortable for the long journey home and a simple, orange flannel that you’d stolen from Jake a few years ago when he'd left it in the family living room after sleeping over. The boy hadn't asked for it back yet, and so you didn't see a problem with having it at all.
Once you’d finished cleaning your face, you quickly picked up your dirty laundry and shoved it into your backpack, not caring if it was folded or not. You could deal with it later on when you returned home because right now, you didn't care. All you cared about was seeing Jake for one last time before the Winter break.
"Finally." Jay loudly huffed once you had made it downstairs, your backpack clinging to your shoulders. All you could do was roll your eyes at your brother and head into the kitchen to grab something for you and Niki to eat for the car ride.
"The car is all packed, so we can head home now." The Park siblings father announced as he poked his head through the front door the inform the five of you, to which you nodded in acknowledgment and soon left the holiday home.
"It was nice meeting you, even if we didn't speak much." You smiled widely and a chuckle fell from your lips as you looked up at Park Sunghoon, who had a firm grip on the strap of his bag and his other hand tucked in his jean pocket and a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Yeah, and it's safe to say that the allegations of you being an 'Annoying Younger Sister' are false." Sunghoon laughed, pulling you in for a quick hug before pulling away and looking down at you with a mischievous glint in his eye. "And whatever's going on with you and Jake, be careful around Jay. He already thinks you've got some secret boyfriend because you rejected Sung Hanbin."
Instantly, your eyes widened slightly in shock — shocked because the thought of Jay slowly catching onto what was going on between his best friend and sister panicked you, and because Sunghoon knew there was something happening between them.
"Don't worry, your secrets safe with me." Sunghoon quickly reassured you before being beckoned away by your mother, who was desperate for a hug from 'the son she should of had.'
"The flannel looks good on you." You heard his voice softly speak out from behind you, making your heart skip a beat as you hurriedly spun around on your heel, a wide grin on your lips as you looked ahead at Jake Sim.
He was wearing a striped, long sleeved polo shirt that was white and navy and a pair of denim jeans along with black and white converse. His outfit was simple, yet he still managed to make it look ten times more attractive than it would've looked on any other person.
"Oh," you stuttered out, glancing down at the flannel and then back up at him, your cheeks now tinted red. Despite going as far as second base — pretty much third — you still managed to get flustered just being under his strong, appealing gaze. "Thanks..."
A chuckle broke past Jake's plump lips as his hands instantly attached themselves to your hips, pulling your body against his as a way of bringing you in for a hug. Your own arms instinctively wrapping around his neck, bringing him down closer to you, making his face muzzle into the crook of your neck and his arms circle your waist; his thumb gently brushing against the skin that had been exposed due to the flannel hiking up.
"I'll miss you." The older boy whispered into your hair and his warm breath softly hit your neck, causing goosebumps to attack your skin and your stomach to spin with nerves and excitement.
"I'll miss you, too." You quietly said back as you pulled him even closer to you, afraid he'd disappear at any moment — which in a way, he was.
Once you had both had pulled away from one another and shared glances over at Jay, who was busy messing around with Niki and Sunghoon, Jake hurriedly placed his hand on the side of your face and leaned down, pressing his delicate lips against your own.
And even though it was quick and chased and left you both wanting more, the strong feelings you felt for one another were still apparent, and as Jake stared down into your dark eyes, he parted his lips, ready for the three words he desperately wanted to get off of his chest to be released into the world.
"Ew, go away, Jake." Jay scoffed, his voice filled with disgust as he made his way over to the two of you, disturbing your moment and halting Jake's next actions. "And quit looking at my sister like you want to kiss her, you freak. It's weird."
A muffled chuckle left your mouths as you awkwardly took a step away from one another.
"See you around, y/n." Jake waved, his lips tightly pressed together a he walked away from the siblings, subtly winking at you behind Jay's back, making you do everything you could to hold back an even more prominent blush and a giggle.
"Don't get into trouble when I'm gone." Jay warned, sternly, looking down at you with a raised brow, making you roll your eyes and release a groan.
"I didn't get in trouble before, so I think I'll be perfectly fine, Jay." You huffed out, folding your arms across your chest.
"Whatever, I'm just warning you because you're going into your last year of high school, that's all." He explained, before reaching out and forcing you into a hug, which only caused you to break out of the tough character you were attempting to portray and fling your arms around his waist.
"When I come back for Winter break, I'm going to throw a party and this time you're allowed to join." Jay told you as they pulled apart, him roughing up your hair in a playful manner.
Your eyes lit up at the boys words and you couldn't help but let out a happy sigh. Previously, whenever Jay would host a party at your home when your parents would go out of town, he'd always make you hide away upstairs in your bedroom, so hearing that you’d actually be able to join in made you feel a sense of accomplishment.
You were finally cool enough to hang out with your older brother at his party.
Eventually, when all the goodbyes were said and long hugs were shared and Jay, Jake and Sunghoon climbed into the eldest's car, you sadly smiled as you watched as the vehicle slowly began to drive away from the home, Jake hanging out the window and waving to the family.
Once the car had officially vanished and your shoulders had slumped, you and Niki, along with your parents got into the other vehicle, ready to finally head home.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" Niki's low, deep voice questioned, making you snatch your attention away from the scenery outside the window and look over at the boy who'd decided to sit in the middle seat beside you.
"Hm?" You furrowed your brows in confusion, removing the AirPod that you and the Nishimura boy were listening to music through together.
"You and Jake.”
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there will be a part two to this which will be much shorter, tumblr js decided to be stupid and stop me at a certain word count idk lmao
i hope you enjoyed this & my apologies for it being long lol
DON’T FORGET TO REBLOG :)
@ criminalyun 2024.
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dropoutdottv · 1 year ago
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Update on Dropout production (courtesy of @samreich)
From ThreadReaderApp:
Dropout is back in production. 🫡 Details below. 👇 As I mentioned, Dropout is not associated with the AMPTP, who negotiates on behalf of the majority of studios and streamers. But truthfully, there's no such thing as a "struck company." There are instead "struck contracts" and "not-struck contracts." We assumed Dropout's contract - the New Media Agreement for Non-Dramatic Programming - was struck because it wasn't specifically on a list of non-struck contracts. After speaking at length with our lawyers and with SAG, turns out that is not the case. So, Dropout can return to business as usual. And because our shows were never struck, talent can go back to promoting their Dropout appearances. 🎉 SAG's decisions are in part strategic. Small streamers like us continuing to work while the major streamers cannot gives us a competitive advantage and puts more pressure on them to make a deal. 😎 But make no mistake about it: We continue to support our striking performers and their cause. - Between Dropout and me personally, we have donated $20,000 to the Entertainment Community Fund. - If anyone doesn't feel comfortable working with us or promoting their work during the strike for whatever reason, we respect that position. - While we already pay above minimums, we will continue to go above and beyond to reward and protect our performers *and* crew members, and plan to put even more of our money where our mouth is before the end of the year. Dropout fans, thank you for your support and solidarity during this uncertain time. Keep supporting the Entertainment Community Fund - - as well as the pet projects of your favorite creators. And with that, it's back to work. ⛏️
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