#DUDE HIS NAME MIGHT BECOME CHILI?? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bitch-out · 4 years ago

Text

OKAY i know you didn’t ask for a full length fic but... i couldnt help myself. here it is:

Four times Alex saw signs that the world was changing to become more accepting of people like him, and the one time he actually realized it.

1. TV SHOW

After finishing practice for the night, the band walked into Julie’s house. Luke immediately walked into the kitchen, wanting to see what meal her dad was whipping up. His obsession with watching lifers eat was starting to get a little concerning. Reggie followed after him, wanting to hang out with Julie’s dad. That was also a little concerning.

Julie plopped down on the couch next to her little brother, Carlos, who was watching a TV show that she didn’t recognize. Alex hopped over the couch and took a seat next to her, looking at the screen intently.

“What is he watching?” Alex asked, reclining into the couch.

Julie shrugged in response. ��I’m not sure…”

Carlos looked over to her with a questioning expression. “Huh?” Oh crap. She needed to stop talking to the boys while other people were around. It made her look absolutely bonkers.

“…what you’re watching! I’m not sure what you’re watching.” She said quickly, trying to avoid any awkwardness. “What is it?”

He seemed to buy it, letting her weirdness go. “Oh, I’m watching this new show. I forget what it’s called. It’s about this girl who accidentally gets musical superpowers after getting stuck by lightning.”

“Cool,” she answered, settling into the couch. She and Alex watched for a few minutes before looking at each other in confusion. They had absolutely no idea what was going on in the show. They looked at the screen as the main character sighed dramatically, slamming her door while running out of her house. “I’m lost. What’s happening? Why is she so mad?” Julie asked.

Carlos rolled his eyes. “She’s in a fight with her dads right now because they won’t let her go to this big party. Now shhh! It’s getting juicy!”

Luke’s eyes went wide as the scene switched to the main characters dads, who were sharing a tender moment while discussing their child. Two dads? On television? Without it being played off as a joke? He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the screen.

Julie looked at him inquisitively, noticing his surprised expression. She raised an eyebrow.

“I see.” A soft smile settled on his face. “Cool.” He bit his lip and leaned back.

“Cool.” She agreed. She almost said something, but then decided it would be better for her to wait for him to tell her.

2. PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION

“People watching in 2020 is way better than people watching in the 90’s.” Reggie stated as they walked through downtown LA. They were killing time while Julie was at school. They passed a man in a superhero costume who was taking pictures with tourists.

“I know right?” Luke agreed. “I love looking over people’s shoulder and watching what they’re doing on those… high tech cellphone things.”

“Smartphones,” Alex offered.

“Smartphones, right.”

Reggie ran over to a middle aged guy in a suit sitting on a bench who was looking intently at his phone. “Look at this guy! He’s looking at an article called ‘How to tell if you have foot fungus’.” He wrinkled his nose. “Gross. You might wanna get that checked out, buddy,” patting his shoulder, his hand passing right through.

Luke looked around for someone else to observe. “Okay see the one over there in the blue striped shirt eating a chili dog?” He pointed over to his left to a man walking away from a hot dog stand.

The man went to take a bite out of his chili dog but dripped it all down the front of his shirt. “Oooooh…. Missed his mouth on that one,” Luke said, cringing.

“That’s nasty,” Alex chimed in.

A guy who looked to be around their age speed walked past them, looking down. He brushed his shaggy blonde hair out of his face as he grinned down at his phone. He was obviously walking with a purpose.

“This guy is hustling! Cmon!” Reggie grinned, jogging after him. Luke and Alex ran over to catch up, all three of them following in pursuit. They all looked over his shoulder to read his text messages. He was texting someone he had named “babe <3” in his contacts.

Can’t wait to see u, his text read, im right around the corner

Reggie whistled. “His girlfriend’s probably a complete hottie if he’s that excited to see her-”

As they turned the corner, the blonde stranger they were following put his phone away as he caught sight of someone. He broke into a run and bear hugged the person, wrapping his arms around them and lifting them off the ground. As he pulled away, it was revealed that the person he was hugging was a brunette guy around the same age as them.

The brunette murmured something, his lips quirking into a smirk. The blonde teen let out a laugh, then pulled him into a kiss.

Alex nearly gasped in surprise, looking around to notice that… not a singular person was looking over. Everyone was just going about their day as normal. No glares, no sneers, not even a scoff.

It felt like the breath was sucked out of his lungs. Was this… normal? The couple broke apart and joined hands, continuing down the street. Alex couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. No one had even batted an eyelash at the public display of affection.

To him, it hadn’t been that long ago since 1995. When even looking at someone for too long would get you called a slur. When his own father would call him a-

“Alex? You good?” He was broken out of his thoughts by Luke looking over at him concernedly.

Alex opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by someone else.

“There you guys are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

They turned around in tandem to see Julie standing there, her eyes sparkling. And they continued with their day, moment forgotten.

3. MUSIC

Alex found himself once again alone with Julie, hanging out with her in her room. He was the only member of the band she would let hang out with her in here, which filled him with an odd sort of pride.

They were currently listening to one of her Spotify playlists. Julie was doing homework on her bed and Alex was tapping his drumsticks on his knee, following the beat of the song they were listening to. He was getting into the groove of the song “This song has a good beat!” he exclaimed. “What is this?”

She grinned at him. “It’s called ‘Girls like Girls’ by Hayley Kiyoko!” She stood up on her bed, dropping her homework and singing into an imaginary microphone as the chorus hit. She belted at the top of her lungs, “Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new~” She laughed as she flopped back onto her bed.

He gaped at her, surprised that she was treating it with such nonchalance. In the 90’s, this would have been music you listened to at 2 am when your parents were asleep. “Is this a… popular song?” he asked.

“Yeah, I mean it’s from like 2015 so it’s basically ancient but it’s still pretty popular.” She turned back to her homework and picked up her pen. “I think the music video has like over 100 million hits on YouTube or something like that.”

His jaw dropped even further “100 million?”

The timer on her phone went off. The words BAND PRACTICE blared across the screen with the chime of her ringtone. “I’ll show it to you later! But we have to go to rehearsal right now.”

He shook his head and followed her out of the room.

4. COVINGTON

As both his friends were pulled away by girls saucily dancing in feathered blue outfits, Alex stood awkwardly like a fish out of water. Covington slid up to him with a sly smirk on his face. “Come now. You can’t be the only one not dancing.”

“No, I… I know.” Alex sputtered. “I’m just…” Not into dancing with girls? No, he couldn’t just say that. He didn’t want to cause a scene. He pointed over his shoulder. “I’m looking for Willie,” he finished lamely.

Covington seemed to read him like an open book. He smiled and gestured with open palms. “Dante! Fuego!” Two handsome men slid up to either side of him. “Meet Alex.” The linked arms with him.

Alex looked at them, surprised. How did he know? Is this like a theater thing? Or… “You’re welcome,” Covington smirked, ducking down. Is this normal here…?

His thoughts were cut off as he was lifted up over Covington’s head and pulled into a fast-paced dance.

5. PRIDE

“Slow down Willie!” Alex shouted, running after his brunette friend as he skated through lifers and tore down the street.

Willie laughed and hopped off his board, picking it up off the ground. He waited for Alex to catch up with him “Relax, we’re almost here…”

Alex was too busy catching his breath to realize they were in the middle of a giant crowd. Lifers walked through them every few seconds like it was nothing “Wh-What is this?” Alex asked, looking around. Everyone was wearing colorful clothing and most were wearing some kind of glitter.

The skater laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the street. “We’re skating the floats, dude.” He pointed at the bright floats that were parading down the street.

Was this some kind of festival or something? Alex wondered. “Why is everything so… colorful?”

Willie looked at him like he was missing something obvious. “It’s June. Pride month.” Alex didn’t know what that was. He looked around, trying to figure it out. “You’ve never seen a pride parade before?” Willie questioned. Then, he realized. “Right. Right, you’re a 90’s ghost. I keep forgetting about that.” He slapped his forehead.

Then, he realized what this was. Alex turned to his right and saw two women kissing. A couple of guys his age were holding hands right next to him. Signs as far as the eye could see read ‘here and queer’ and ��all you need is love’ and ‘love is love’ and countless other sayings. His breath stuttered in his chest “This is…”

“I know. Pretty cool, right?” Willie asked, sounding pretty nonchalant. He was scouting out the floats, focused on his task.

“And this is all for…” Alex hesitated, “For gay people?”

“All LGBTQ+ people, technically, but yeah dude.” Willie clarified. He grinned, his eyes set on a float just down the road. He found the perfect route.

“So it really is different now, huh?” Alex asked, his voice cracking slightly. Willie looked back in alarm, not realizing how much this was impacting the drummer beside him. A tear rolled down his cheek, but his smile could not be bigger. Alex continued, “Like I had hoped it was, and there’s been some signs, but this is…” He covered his mouth to hide a sob.

Willie walked over to his side, dropping his skateboard and taking his hand gently. “Yeah, Alex. It’s different. Better. Not perfect, but... a lot better.” He squeezed his hand.

“It’s amazing.” Alex said, wiping the tears from his eyes with his sleeve and grinning. He let out a laugh as a drag queen passed by and waved at the crowd, blowing kisses.

The skater couldn’t take his eyes off of Alex. He was absolutely glowing, basking in the atmosphere of the parade. “You know what? Let’s forget the skating.” Willie decided, taking his skateboard from the side of the street and tucking it in an alley.

“Huh?” Alex was confused. Willie wanted to... not go skating?

“It’s time to get your pride on, Alex.”

Together, they spent the rest of the day exploring every area of pride, ducking through crowds and sneaking onto floats. There was even one point where they ran through a huge glitter cannon, getting absolutely covered in glitter.

After it was all done, Willie teleported back to Julie’s house with him to drop him off.

“That was the most fun I’ve ever had.” Alex admitted, his smile seemed to be permanently glued to his face.

“Me too. I’ve been to tons of pride parades, but none of them were as fun as this one.” Willie admitted.

“Really? What was different about this one? Was it the glitter cannon? It was probably the glitter cannon-”

“It was you, Alex.” The skater said quietly, brushing a couple stray pieces of glitter off of the taller boy’s cheek.

“Oh,” Alex breathed, looking down at Willie. His heart was racing a mile a minute. He hadn’t realized they were standing so close together.

Willie hesitated for a moment. Was this the moment? He didn’t want to rush Alex. He was probably overwhelmed enough after experiencing his first pride. He smiled up at the blonde and patted him on the shoulder. “Goodnight, Alex.” He stepped away and turned to leave.

He was just about to teleport when he heard “Wait!”

Willie turned around Alex kissed him.

He stiffened at first, surprised. Before he could respond, Alex pulled away and looked at him in panic.

“I’m so sorry, I thought-”

Willie grabbed him by the lapels and dragged him down, kissing him heatedly. Alex responded with enthusiasm, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“ABOUT TIME!” someone hollered from behind him.

They broke away to see Luke and Reggie beaming. They both ran over and hugged them both in a group hug. “We thought you two would never figure it out.” Luke said, causing Reggie to laugh.

“Happy pride, Alex”. Willie murmured, squished up against his side. And Alex couldn’t have been happier.

#julie and the phantoms #alex x willie #willie x alex #willex #fic #this was entirely too long im so sorry #anyways... send me prompts!

557 notes · View notes

silverisbestboy · 4 years ago

Text

Sonic Boom x Reader

Requested by @blackace1993: Conversation was accidentally deleted but from what I remeber of it, they wanted hc for the Sonic Boom characters who has a partner who frequently gets into trouble and/or captured by Eggman. They didn't specify which character they wanted so I just did all of them minus Tails. Hope you enjoy!

Sonic:

There's no denying it

Sonic was smitten

The moment you set foot on the island Sonic was taken aback by you

To him, you were drop dead gorgeous with a great personality so I guess you could say it was love at first sight for him

This boy is a fool for you

It's actually quite funny watching him zip across the island at the slightest remark that you need something

"Man, you what? I'm feeling kind of hungry"

"Say no more!" He'll say as he zooms away and reappears seconds later with a chili dog in hand

"Uhhhh"

But, unfortunately for you, being in any sort of relationship with Sonic is not wothout complication

Eggman sees you as a new oppurtunity to best Sonic and ends up taking you hostage on a regular basis

The first time it happens, Sonic all but destroys Eggman's fortress looking for you

But after it continuously happening, it starts getting kinda old

"Greeting Sonic! I see you've come to rescue your little girlfriend"

"Yeah, yeah. Can we just we just get to the part where I clobber you?"

It gets to the point where Sonic starts teaching you how to defend yourself so you can hold your own against Eggman

Not that he doesn't mind rescuing, it's just he can't always be there to protect

With the amount of times they've had to save you, the team are already very familiar with you and consider you apart of their friend group

But as you get better is self-defence, Sonic officially announces you as part of the team and you start joining them on missions

While Sonic does tend to stick to your side more than his other teammates during battle, he's glad to have you fighting alongside them

After all, he's happy to spend as much time with you as possible, even if that means having to bash Eggman's robots to do so

Knuckles:

You're not a bad person

So what if you have anger issues

So what if you get into fights from time to time

So what if you've been in trouble with the cops before

Doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you've.... got some issues

One day you're not in the best mood and have already had a pretty shitty day, and you're just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode

So it's no wonder that when a big guy bumps into you and causes you to drop the tray of food you're holding, you go off on him

Unfortunately for you, this guy is huge, a tall red echidna with bulking arms that looks like he could punch you into next week

But you're not one to back down from a fight, you've beaten up guys twice your size before and you're not afraid to do it again

"Woah, hey, sorry about that, didn't see you there."

What, is he dense?! Who does this guy think he is barrelling into anyone he pleases just because he's big? You bet he was just gonna walk off without even helping you. Well, you'd show him!

Without warning, you lunged at the echidna with the intent of knocking him over the same way he almost did to you

But you underestimated his initial strength and reflexes and he caught you midair with your legs kicking and your hands clawing for his face

"Woah, dude chill! I said I was sorry!"

He just kinda holds you up in air at arms length with you kicking and screaming until you eventually tire yourself out

The echidna stares at you cautiously

"Are you good now?"

After a moment, you reluctantly nod, and he gently sets you back on your feet

He then carefully leans down without takong his eyes off you and grabs your burger which is still wrapped in foil and reaches it out to you

"How about we start over? I'm Knuckles."

You thought after that encounter, that was the last you'd see of him

But one day, you've gotten yourself into another fight, and to say you're losing would be an understatement

It's once again, a guy twice your size and he's absolutely beating the crap out of you

But by some miracle, Knuckles happens to be walking by and immediately notices you

He steps in to save you, and the guy you're fighting knows about Knuckles being part of Sonic's team and doesn't even bother attempting to fight him

Knuckles takes your half conscious body to Tails's work shop where they fix you up

After that, Knuckles refuses to leave you alone

Even if you try to leave, he always ends finding you to make sure you don't get into more trouble

He helps you find outlets for your anger by sparring and working out with him

You grow a soft spot for Knuckles that you'd never thought you'd have for anyone

He's your big goofball that somehow always manages to calm you down and get you out of whatever trouble your in

Though it's beyond you why anyone would want to put up with you, eespecially a lovable ray of sunshine like Knuckles, you're so grateful that you have someone like himin your life to keep you in check

A/N: Might make more hcs for that because I absolutely love the idea of big, strong goofball Knuckles having a little ball of pure rage as a partner.

Amy Rose:

Some would say you're a pacifist

Some would say you care too much

Some would say you're too nice

But you like to think that you're just trying to do good in the world

You're definitely the type of person that hates conflict and wants everyone to get along, and you're more often than not a bit of a pushover

You like to give people benefit of the doubt and prefer to see the good in people, although sometimes, this affects you negatively

A kindly looking (or at least in your opinion) wolf with a showman's top hat and a certain glint his eyes one day stops you in your tracks and asks you ever so politely if you would kindly lend him some money to help feed his family

Of course, you're quick to help, but little do you know that this is none other than T.W. Barker himself, and he's been watching you carefully for some time

He notices the way you jump at the oppurtunity to help someone in need, and he being a con man at heart, decides to take advantage of that

But before you can lend the man all the money you have in your pocket, a certain pink hedgehog decides to interfere

"Hey, you leave her alone Barker! Go find your own ATM machine!"

Amy Rose herself stands not far behind you, hammer in hand and ready for trouble

"N-now, now, let's not be too hasty. I was simply accepting a generous donation from this unsuspecting-- I mean self-less young lady."

"Yeah right. Beat it before I hammer you into next Tuesday, punk!"

You're in utter shock as the seeming wolf in sheep's clothing (pun intended) makes his escape

"Gotta look out for scumbags. Seems this village is getting more and more of them everyday. Anyways, I'm Amy, what's your name?"

Since then, Amy keeps a close eye on you to make sure you don't become prey to anymore scam artists

Now Amy will never admit she has anger issues, but she does get... irritated from time to time

On more than one occasion, you're there to help her calm down and have a sleepover planned or a spa day for when things get particularly rough for her

Whenever she needs help choosing which paint to redo her wall with, or which dress she should wear to a party, she calls you up, because no matter what you're interests are or how inconvenient the timing might seem, you're ready to help a friend, even with mundane things

Amy has you become a part of the Sonic family, and while you never do join them in battles, you help keep the peace between the team whenever there's an argument

And Amy always makes sure your overly caring attitude isn't being taken advantage of

No matter the time or the place, Amy knows she can always count on you, and you know she's always got your back

Sticks:

Well this is quite the predicament you've gotten yourself into

A lot of people would descibe you as clumsy, but you knew you just bad luck

And to prove just that, here you were dangling upside from a rope trap after deciding to take a liesure stroll through the forest

What are we, nomads? Who sets out traps in the middle of the woods anymore?!

After about 20 minutes, the blood is rushing to your head and you're starting to feel faint

But just as you think that your bad luck will finally be the end of you, figure bursts from the bushes with a fierce battle cry

It's a badger girl with a boomerang clutched in her paw, ready for a fight

But after a moment she realizes just who's gotten caught up in her trap

"Hey, what's the big idea?! Why're you in my snare?"

"Why am I in your snare? Why did you put out a snare you loon?!"

After about 5 minutes of arguing, Sticks reluctantly cuts you down, begrudgingly explaining that she set out a trap for any woodland monsters

You run into her again on another walk, crossing a small stream before tripping on one of the stepping stones and almost falling in before a furry arm wraps around your waist

"You outta be more careful out here. The wilderness is no place to be a klutz."

"Hey, I'm not a klutz. I just have bad luck is all."

And what more to gain the attention of a superstitious badger than the possibility of supernatural forces at play

"You could've been hexed by a witch. Or worse, there could be a vengeful spirit after you! We gotta get you an exorcist!"

"I'm fine, I'm just unlucky. Always have been always will be."

"We should still burn some sage in your home just to be sure."

You let Sticks do what she wants with you, after all, her superstitious perspective is a nice change from everyone just thinking your clumsy

You think her attempts to "cleanse" you are endearing, she tries something new everyday, and you end up learning a thing or two about survival and the corruptedness of politics from her

Weeks later, her attempts slowly dwindle down, and she just comes to accept she's just gonna have to keep an extra close eye on you, especially when she sets out booby traps

The time y'all have spent together, although it was somewhat motivated by Sticks not wanting to get whatever curse you exposed her to, lead to y'all having a close bond

Everyone has their quirks, she's paranoid and you're clumsy, but you two always manage to work things out

And that's the beauty of a relationship

A/N: Sorry I haven't been that active lately, so take this as an apology. Four hcs for the price of one!

#sonic headcanons #sonic the hedgehog x reader #sonic x reader #sonic boom #amy rose x reader #sticks the badger x reader #knuckles the echidna x reader

581 notes · View notes

dustedmagazine · 3 years ago

Text

Music for Films, Vol. II: Chick Habit

For good and for ill, Quentin Tarantino’s movies have been strongly associated with postmodern pop culture — particularly by folks whose reactions to the word “postmodern” tend toward pursed lips and school-marmishly wagged fingers. There for a while, reading David Denby on Tarantino was similar to reading Michiko Kakutani on Thomas Pynchon: almost always the same review, the same complaints about characters lacking “psychological depth,” the same handwringing over an ostensible moral insipidness. Truth be told, Tarantino’s pranksome delight with flashy surfaces and stylistic flourishes that are ends in themselves gives tentative credence to some of the caviling. Critics have raised related concerns over the superficiality of Tarantino’s tendency toward stunt casting, especially his resurrections of aging actors relegated to the film industry’s commercial margins: John Travolta, Pam Grier, Robert Forster, David Carradine, Darryl Hannah, Don Johnson and so on. There might be a measure of cynicism in the accompanying cinematic nudging and winking, but it’s also the case that a number of the performances have been terrific.

The writer-director brings a similar sensibility to his sound-tracking choices, demonstrating the cooler-than-thou, deep-catalog knowledge of an obsessive crate-digger. Tarantino thematized that knowledge in his break-through feature, Reservoir Dogs (1992). Throughout the film, the characters tune in to Steven Wright deadpanning as the deejay of “K-Billy’s Super Sounds of the Seventies”; like the characters, the viewer transforms into a listener, treated to such fare as the George Baker Selection’s “Little Green Bag” (1970) and Harry Nilsson’s “Coconut” (1971). As with the above-mentioned actors, Tarantino has sifted pop culture’s castoffs and detritus, unearthing songs and delivering experiences of renewed value — and thereby proving the keenness of his instincts and aesthetic wit. “Listen to (or look at) this!” he seems to say, with his cockeyed, faux-incredulous grin. “Can you believe you were just going to throw this out?” And mostly, it works. If the Blue Swede’s “Hooked on a Feeling” (1974) has become a sort of semi-ironized accompaniment to hipsterish good times, that resonance has a lot more to do with Tim Roth, Harvey Keitel and Co. cruising L.A. in a hulking American sedan than with the Disney Co.’s Guardians of the Galaxy (2014).

In Death Proof (2007), Tarantino’s seventh film and unaccountably his least favorite, soundtrack and screen are both full to bursting with the flotsam and jetsam of “entertainment” conceived as an industry.

youtube

In just the opening minutes, we see outmoded moviehouse announcements, complete with cigarette-burn cue dots; big posters of Brigitte Bardot from Les Bijoutiers du claire de lune (1958) and of Ralph Nelson’s Soldier Blue (1970) bedecking the apartment of Jungle Julia (Sydney Tamiia Poitier); the tee shirt worn by Shanna (Jordan Ladd), which bears the image of Tura Satana; and strutting under all of it are the brassy cadences of Jack Nitzsche’s “The Last Race,” taken from his soundtrack for the teensploitation flick Village of the Giants (1965). Bibs and bobs, bits and pieces of low- and middle-brow cinema are cut up and reconstructed into a fulsome swirl of signs. And there’s an unpleasant edge to it; the cuts are echoed by the action of the camera, which has been busily cleaving the bodies of the women on screen into fragments and parts. First the feet of Arlene (Vanessa Ferlito), propped up on a dashboard; then Julia, all ass and gams; then Arlene’s lower half again, chopped into slices by the stairs she dashes up (“I gotta take the world’s biggest fucking piss!”) and by the close-up that settles on her belly and pelvis, her hand shoved awkwardly into her crotch.

As often happens in Tarantino’s movies, furiously busy meta-discursive play collapses the images’ problematic content under multiple levels of reference and pastiche. The film is one half of Grindhouse (2007), Tarantino’s collaboration with his buddy Robert Rodriguez, an old-fashioned double-feature comprising the men’s love letters to the exploitation cinema of the 1960s and 1970s. In those thousands of movies — mondo, beach-cutie, nudie-cutie, women in prison, early slasher, rape-revenge, biker gang, chop-socky, Spaghetti Western and muscle-car-worship flicks (and we could add more subgenres to the list) — symbolic violence inflicted on women’s bodies was de rigueur, and frequently the principal draw. Tarantino shot Death Proof himself, so he is (more than usually) directly responsible for all the framing and focusing — and he’s far too canny a filmmaker not to know precisely what he’s doing with and to those bodies. The excessive, camera-mediated gashing and trimming is a knowing, perhaps deprecating nod to all that previous, gratuitous T&A. His sound-tracking choice of “The Last Race” metaphorically underscores the point: in Bert I. Gordon’s Village of the Giants, bikini-clad teens find and consume an experimental growth serum, which causes them to expand to massive proportions. Really big boobs, actual acres of ass. Get it?

Of course, all the implied japing and judging is deeply embedded in the film’s matrix of esoteric references and fleeting allusions. You’d have to be very well versed in the history of exploitation cinema to pick up on the indirect homage to Gordon’s goofy movie. But as in Reservoir Dogs, Tarantino doesn’t just gesture, he dramatizes, folding an authoritative geekdom into the action of Death Proof. In the set-up to Death Proof’s notorious car crash scene, Julia is on the phone, instructing one of her fellow deejays to play “Hold Tight!” (1966) by Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich. Don’t recognize the names? “For your information,” Julia snorts, Pete Townsend briefly considered abandoning the Who, and he thought about joining the now-obscure beat band, to make it “Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick, Tich & Pete. And if you ask me, he should have.”

youtube

It’s among the most gruesomely violent sequences in Tarantino’s films (which do not run short on graphic bloodshed), and Julia receives its most spectacular punishment. Those legs and that rump, upon which the camera has lavished so much attention, are torn apart. Her right leg flips, flies and slaps the pavement, a hunk of suddenly flaccid meat. Again, Tarantino proves himself an adept arranger of image, sign and significance. Want to accuse him of fetishizing Julia’s legs? He’ll materialize the move, reducing the limb to a manipulable fragment, and he’ll invest the moment with all of the intrinsic violence of the fetish. He’ll even do you one better — he’ll make that violence visible. Want to watch? You better buckle up and hold tight.

Hold on a second. “Hold Tight”? The soundtrack has passed over from intertextual in-joke to cruel punchline. It doesn’t help that the song is so much fun, and that it’s fun watching the girls groove along to it, just before Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) obliterates them, again and again and again. The awful insistence of the repetition is another set-up, establishing the film’s narrative logic: the repeated pattern and libidinal charge-and-release of Stuntman Mike’s vehicular predations. It is, indeed, “a sex thing,” as Sheriff Earl McGraw (Michael Parks) informs us in his cartoonish, redneck lawman’s drawl. Soon the sexually charged repetitions pile up: see Abernathy’s (Rosario Dawson) feet hanging out of Kim’s (Tracie Thom) 1972 Mustang, in a visual echo of Arlene’s, and of Julia’s. Then listen to Lee (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) belt out some of Smith’s cover of “Baby It’s You” (1969), which we most recently heard 44 minutes before, as Julia danced ecstatically by the Texas Chili Bar’s jukebox. Then watch Abernathy as she sees Stuntman Mike’s tricked-out ’71 Nova, a vibrating hunk of metallic machismo — just like Arlene saw it, idling menacingly back in Austin, with another snatch of “Baby It’s You” wisping through that moment’s portent.

For a certain kind of viewer, the Nova’s low-slung, growling charms are hard to resist, as is the sleazy snarl of Willy DeVille’s “It’s So Easy” (1980; and we might note that Jack Nitzsche produced a couple of Mink DeVille’s early records, connecting another couple strands in the web) on the Nova’s car stereo. Those prospective pleasures raise the question of just who the film is for. That may seem obvious: the same folks — dudes, mostly — who find pleasure in exploitation movies like Vanishing Point (1971), Satan’s Sadists (1969) or The Big Doll House (1971). But there are a few other things to account for, like how Death Proof repeatedly passes the Bechdel Test, and how long those scenes of conversation among women go on, and on. Most notable is the eight-minute diner scene, a single take featuring Abernathy, Kim, Lee and Zoë (Zoë Bell, doing a cinematic rendition of her fabulous self, an instance of stunt casting that literalizes the “stunt” part). Among other things, the women discuss their careers in film, the merits of gun ownership and Kim and Zoë’s love of (you guessed it) car chase movies like Vanishing Point. One could read that as a liberatory move, a suggestion that cinema of all kinds is open to all comers. All that’s required is a willingness to watch. But watching the diner scene becomes increasing claustrophobic. The camera circles the women’s table incessantly, and on the periphery of the shot, sitting at the diner’s counter, is Stuntman Mike. The circling becomes predatory, the threat seems pervasive.

If you’ve seen the film, you know how that plays out: Zoë and Kim play “ship’s mast” on a white 1970 Dodge Challenger (the Vanishing Point car); Stuntman Mike shows up and terrorizes them mercilessly; but then Abernathy, Zoë and Kim chase him down and beat the living shit out of him, likely fatally. In another sharply conceived cinematic maneuver, Tarantino executes a climactic sequence that inverts the diner scene: the women surround Stuntman Mike, abject and pleading, and punch and kick him as he bounces from one of them to another. The camera zips from vantage to vantage within the circle, deliriously tracking the action. All the jump cuts intensify the violence, and they provide another contrast to the diner’s scene’s silky, unbroken shot. The sounds and the impact of the blows verge on slapstick, and our identification with the women makes it a giddily gross good time.

youtube

So, an inversion seeks to undo repetition. Certainly, Stuntman Mike’s intent to repeat the car-crash-kill-thrill is undone, and predator becomes prey. But, as is inevitable with Tarantino’s cinema, there are complications, other echoes and patterns to suss out. For instance: as the women stride toward the wrecked Nova, while Stuntman Mike pathetically wails, the camera zooms in on their asses. Bad asses? Nice asses? What’s the right nomenclature? To make sure we can put the shot together with Julia’s first appearance in the film, Abernathy has hiked up her skirt, revealing a lot of leg. Repetition reasserts itself. In an exacerbating circumstance, Harvey Weinstein’s grubby fingerprints are smeared onto the film. Rodriguez’s Troublemaker Studios is credited with production of Grindhouse, but Dimension Films, a Weinstein Brothers company, handled distribution.

When the film cuts to its end titles, we hear April March’s “Chick Habit” (1995), with its spot-on lyric: “Hang up the chick habit / Hang it up, daddy / Or you’ll never get another fix.” And so on. Even here, where the girl-power vibe feels strongest (cue Abernathy burying a bootheel in Stuntman Mike’s face), there are echoes, patterns. Note how the striding bassline of “Chick Habit” strongly recalls the pulse beating through Nitzsche’s “The Last Race.” Note that March’s song is a cover, of “Laisse tomber les filles,” originally recorded by yé-yé girl France Gall. The song was penned by Serge Gainsbourg, pop provocateur and notorious womanizer. The two collaborated again, releasing “Les Sucettes,” a tune about a teeny-bopper who really likes sucking on lollipops, when Gall was barely 18; the accompanying scandal nearly torpedoed her career. Gall refused to ever sing another song by Gainsbourg, and disavowed her hits.

Again, that’s all deeply embedded, somewhere in the film’s complicated play of pop irony and double-entendre and the sudden explosions of delight and disgust that intermittently reveal and conceal. Again, you’d have to know your pop history really well to catch up with the complications, and Death Proof moves so fast that there’s always another reference or allusion demanding your attention as the cars growl and the blood spurts. Too many signs to track, too many signals to decipher — that’s the postmodern. But perhaps we have become too glib, assuming that all signs are somehow equivalent. Death Proof insists otherwise. Much has been made of the film’s strange relation to digital filmmaking, of the sort that Rodriguez has made a career out of. Part of Grindhouse’s shtick is its goofball applications of CGI, all the scratches and skips and flaws that the filmmakers lovingly applied. They are digital effects, masquerading as damaged celluloid. Tarantino cut back against that grain, filming as much of the car chase’s maniacal stuntwork in meatspace as he safely could. Purposeful practical filmmaking, for a digitally enhanced cinematic experience, attempting to mimic the ways real film interacts with the physical environment and its manifold histories. Is that clever, or just more cultural clutter?

Amid all the clutter that crowds the characters onscreen, and their conversations in the film’s field of sound, it can be easy to lose track of the distinctions between appearances and the traces of the real bodies that worked to bring Death Proof to life. Which is why Tarantino’s inclusion of Bell is so crucial. She provides another inversion: Instead of masking her individual presence, doing stunts for other actresses in their clothes and hair (for Lucy Lawless in Xena: Warrior Princess, or for Uma Thurman in Tarantino’s Kill Bill films), Bell is herself, doing what she does best, projecting the technical elements of filmmaking — usually meant to bleed seamlessly into illusion — right onto the surface of the screen. And instead of allowing one group of girls to slip into a repeated pattern, bodies easily exchanged for other bodies, Bell’s presence and its implicit insistence on her particularity (who else can move like she does?) breaks up the superficial logic of cinema’s market for the feminine. She disrupts its chick habit. There’s only one woman like her.

youtube

Jonathan Shaw

#music for films #chick habit #jonathan shaw #dusted magazine #death proof #quentin tarantino #reservoir dogs #grindhouse #Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mick & Tich

13 notes · View notes

winryofresembool · 4 years ago

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 13

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Calypso meets Jason (domestic moments part 3)

A/N: I wrote a little longer rant on ao3 but let me just say that bless au:s. The fact that I can progress things my own way keeps me want to continue this fic.

I hope you guys enjoy, and remember that I cherish every comment I get! (Ps. some drama is coming, let’s just enjoy the fluff for now!)

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo. Jason, Piper

Words: 2021

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

...

Calypso and Leo didn’t have time to recover from the electric moment before there was already a knock on the door. After Leo opened the door and greeted the newcomers, they soon noticed Calypso still standing near the kitchen counter with a tint of red on her face. Piper, who had already met her, just waved her hand happily as a greeting, but Jason stepped closer, offered his hand to her and said: “So, you must be Calypso. I’m Jason, the one who used to live in your room.”

“Y-yes, Leo mentioned that,” Calypso stuttered as she shook his hand. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. And Piper you already know.” He gestured towards the brunette who nodded. “She told me about her visit. Leo, on the other hand, has been kind of vague about you.”

“Oh? The flatmate I know can be quite a loudmouth when he wants to.” Calypso looked at Leo with surprise.

“You two just met and she’s already roasting me to you…” Leo said, pretending to be embarrassed. “This is my life now.”

Jason snorted. “Maybe that’s good for Mr. Super Sized McShizzle’s ego.”

“Super Sized McShizzle? Oh my gods, the nicknames never end. Did he give that to himself?” Calypso asked, having to stifle a laughter.

“He did,” Piper confirmed and Calypso couldn’t stop herself from laughing. Even if she was doing it at his expense, Leo was happy to realize it was already the second time she laughed that day, in a short period of time. For some reason the thought made something bubble in his chest.

“OK, now that we have that established, can we move on?” Leo asked impatiently.

“No.” Piper smirked playfully, apparently interested in the current topic. “What does he call you, Calypso?”

“Sunshine. I don’t really know why, though.” Calypso shrugged. “Maybe he’s being sarcastic.”

“Aww, sarcastic or not, I think that’s cute,” Piper said. “His nickname for me is Beauty Queen. I hate that nickname, to be honest. He knows I don’t really care about how I look.”

“What about you, Jason? What’s his nickname for you?” Calypso asked, already feeling more relaxed with the guests.

“Well, sometimes he calls me Lightning Boy because I used to help around at an electronics store and once I accidentally blew a fuse there… It was easily fixed, though, but Leo thought it was funny. Sometimes he also likes to use Sparky or the nicknames my friend Percy has given me: Golden Boy and Blonde Superman. Don’t ask.” Jason rolled his eyes.

Calypso’s eyes flashed strangely when she heard the name Percy but then she probably decided that the name must have simply been a coincidence because soon she asked Jason something else. Leo was relieved to see that Calypso seemed to like both of his best friends as they kept up a light hearted conversation while setting the table for the dinner.

Once they were ready to start eating, Jason asked Calypso: “By the way, feel free to ignore my question if you think it’s too personal, but I noticed that you said ‘oh my gods’ in plural at one point. Do you have any specific reason for that?”

“I guess I kinda do,” Calypso confessed as she sat down on her seat and crossed her hands over her lap. “The thing is, I’ve never believed in just one God. I’ve done a lot of research on the Greek Mythology and… I don’t know, I like the idea that different things, say, for example weather, have different forces affecting them. Now, I’m not saying that I believe in the stories of Greek mythology to the letter - there are a lot of crazy myths out there - but when you look at the bigger picture, there’s a lot that makes sense to me. I don’t know. People always think I’m weird when I say that.”

“I don’t think that’s weird,” Jason said. “I’m interested in the old cultures as well and I’ve always wanted to do my share so that they wouldn’t be forgotten. That is one of the reasons why I wanted to become a teacher.”

“Oh! That sounds great,” Calypso said approvingly. “I’ve sometimes debated in my mind if I should become a teacher as well because a lot of history majors do but… so far I think I’m more interested in the research…”

Jason was going to say something more but Leo decided to interrupt. Even though he was happy Calypso got along with his friends, he had to admit to himself that he was a little bit jealous because his own beginning with her had been a lot bumpier than his friends’.

“Alright, nerds, that’s great and all but why don’t we start eating? The sauce supreme won’t be waiting!”

“Who are you calling nerds?” Calypso retorted back, attempting to throw her long braid over the shoulder before remembering that her hair was short now. “You must remember every single mathematical, physical and chemical formula by heart, and besides, I heard you humming the theme of Game of Thrones the other day.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Leo asked, surprised Calypso knew about his humming.

“I think it proves that you are such as much of a nerd as we are and probably even more,” Calypso teased.

“But I need those formulas to complete my job and that theme is epic… Eh, whatever. Let’s all be nerds then. Cheers!” he raised his glass of soda and took a huge sip. Jason and Piper looked at each other with amusement. The Leo they knew was very stubborn and might not have stopped the debate quite that easily. It must have been the Calypso effect.

For a while the group ate in silence, before Leo broke it again.

“Well, what do you guys think? How’s the papa Grace approved taco sauce tasting?”

“It’s good, Leo, just like the ones you made when I was living here,” Jason answered, maintaining his poker face.

“I think this has a little less spunk, this time, though,” Piper said, but after seeing Leo’s expression she added quickly: “Which is a good thing! I don’t need fluids coming out of my nose no matter what you say.”

“Make fun of me all you want, I know you like it.” Leo pouted but soon he started grinning again. “Hey, what’s you guys’ opinion on olives?”

“I like them,” Piper said and to prove her point, she took more of Calypso’s Greek salad on her plate.

“They’re OK,” Jason chorused. “Why do you ask?”

“We had a little debate…” Leo said before he had time to regret it.

“A debate?” Piper asked curiously, turning her head from Leo to Calypso.

“About olives,” Leo replied. “I said I’d eat all my olives in the salad nicely if she tasted this chili right here.” He showed her friends the half of the chili that Calypso hadn’t tasted, not caring about their horrified expressions.

“Eww, dude, I’ve once tasted those and I had to drink like 2 liters of milk after that! Why would you make her do that?” Jason asked.

“Because she wanted to,” Leo said defensively.

“Is that true, Cal?” Piper turned to her.

“Well…” it was Calypso’s turn to get embarrassed. “It kinda is. I did say I was up for the challenge.”

“Okay,” Piper said with amusement. “Then what happened?”

“She only tasted a tiny bit and I claimed that wasn’t enough for me to eat the olives,” Leo answered.

“And I started chasing him and…” Calypso started but she realized that it might be better if she didn’t continue that sentence. After all, she herself wasn’t sure what exactly had happened in that moment. “And?” Piper wanted to know.

“That’s when you guys arrived.” Leo covered for Calypso.

Piper had a feeling that there was still a bit more to the story but she knew where to put the limit so she just ended up chuckling a bit and saying: “Oh, that chasing part explains why you seemed a little out of breath when we arrived.”

Leo and Calypso looked at each other and nodded in unison.

“That sounds like something we would have wanted to witness,” Piper said, trying to stop herself from laughing out loud.

“Some of us play tag, some of us play Pokémon,” Leo decided to pay back. “We can have some fun too.”

“They play Pokémon?” Calypso looked at Leo with a funny expression. “You know what, Valdez? I used to be pretty good at it back in the day when I played it with my… um, when I played it as a kid. Maybe we should have a battle with them one day.”

Leo did notice the hesitation in Calypso’s voice when she mentioned she had played it as a kid, but decided to ask about it later. He grinned at her in response.

“Now we’re talking, Sunshine! Jason, how about you bring your Switch here next weekend and we’ll have a battle then! We can also play Mario Kart for the good ol’ nostalgia’s sake.”

“It’s a deal!” Jason agreed and Leo and he shook hands to seal the promise.

“We’re gonna have to have a strategy meeting before that,” Leo turned to Calypso again. “These two have played more so they have the advantage.”

“Oh yes, for sure,” Calypso agreed. “I didn’t know you had a Switch, though. Haven’t seen you use it.”

“I do, though. One customer broke theirs and I told them I couldn’t fix it…”

“Leonidas!” Calypso said disapprovingly.

“Relax, I’m just kidding. Gotta try to keep up my bad boy supreme image. In reality I bought it because I wanted to give Georgie a reason to come visit me more often, but between my studies and work I haven’t really had a chance to use it much.”

“You are not a bad boy supreme, you are a doting brother. I’m sure Georgie would like to spend time with you either way, though.” Calypso said as much to her as Leo’s surprise.

“Guys, as much fun as this is to listen to, your food is getting cold,” Piper pointed out as she stuffed more of her tofu tacos (Leo had made both meat and vegan options) into her mouth. The two quickly turned their attention back to their dinner while Jason and Piper casted knowing looks at each other. Leo may not have admitted it out loud but there definitely was something going on between the two. It was the way they casted shy looks at each other when they thought the other one wasn’t looking, how their faces softened when the other one said something they liked, and how they pretended to bicker but neither really wasn’t too serious with their words. Maybe they weren’t quite sure themselves what to think but Piper had a strong feeling eventually they would figure it out.

The group continued a relaxed conversation as they ate about all things possible; university, weird customers Leo ran into in his work, food, games, how Piper and Jason had met Leo, and so on. After the guests thanked for the food and said their goodbyes, Leo asked Calypso:

“So, those were my friends. What do ya think?” “I think they are great! I admit I was quite nervous at first but… they seem to be easy to hang out with.”

“Good! Um, listen,” Leo said, suddenly feeling a bit awkward. “I still have one project to finish today and I have early classes tomorrow, ugh… But I had a good time today. So thanks.”

“I had a good time too.” Calypso smiled. “Despite that chili!” she decided to remind him.

“Oh, right, sorry about that.” Leo ruffled his hair. “I won’t make you do that again. Maybe.”

“You’d better not,” Calypso said but not in a mean spirited way. “Anyway, I have some homework to do as well, so… Good night, Leo.” She smiled at him before withdrawing into her room.

“Good night, Cal.” He waved at her, noticing that one part of his brain was already looking forward to talking to her again later.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au #ps. oh imagine cal meeting jason in canon... oh right she can't. haha

10 notes · View notes

bellatrixobsessed1 · 4 years ago

Text

Kissing Dead Pearls (Part 27)

The sky was a watercolor backdrop of searing oranges and yellows and pastel pink. Against it, holding a surfboard was a petite silhouette. “She’s too small to be any good.” Chan remarked.

“I thought that it was the other way around, dude.” Ruon Jian shrugged.

“Maybe if you have the right size surfboard. That one’s too big for her.”

To this Ruon had nodded in agreement. It didn’t bother Jet like it bothered the rest of the team. Chan and his girlfriend were particularly annoyed by the mistake. They could tell that she was new to the sport, unlike themselves. They have been doing it since childhood.

Truth be told, they were afraid of her. Afraid that her mistakes would cost their team a victory that they hadn’t even had a chance to begin working towards. That first practice was a mess. Jet had watched her rather closely; every time she lost balance and every time she charged towards the wave too early or too late. She never seemed to have them timed right, could never seem to sense the water in the way a seasoned surfer would. She just didn’t have the connection.

She took a deep breath. It was an hour and a half into a three hour long practice and she had yet to pull off even the most basic maneuver. But more than anything, Azula wanted to make her father proud. Truthfully, she had come to decide, within the first twenty minutes, that she hated surfing. It didn’t come naturally to her as volleyball did. She was furious with herself for having missed volleyball tryouts in favor of trying something new.

She could have been on her way to becoming the star athlete of the middle school team. She could have been an hour and a half into praise and cheers. Instead her teammates were glaring at her. Even the coach’s formerly sympathetic eyes were clouding with impatience. She knew that he’d only let her on the team because of her father and his father’s legacy.

She also knew that it was becoming abundantly clear that she didn’t share the family talent. She cast one more forlorn and longing glance at the volleyball in her sports bag before closing her eyes, readying her surfboard, and dashing towards the water.

This time she was going to do it. She knew that she had timed the wave right. If only she had timed throwing her surfboard down correctly. Another wave took the board out from under her feet.

No one bothered to tell her that she was supposed to go belly down and paddle out to the wave.

Not even the coach.

She was never one to quit. The only thing more dishonorable than a failure was a quitter. She would ride the failure out and probably with more success than riding any wave. A week into her new sport and she was only just starting to catch onto paddling out.

Azula was certain that balance wouldn’t be a problem. Toph had been kind enough to let her borrow her skateboard. The way she and Toph saw it, skateboarding was basically surfboarding without water. She did just fine maintaining her balance on the skateboard and by the end of the night she was even doing some decent tricks.

So why the hell couldn’t she catch onto surfing?

She came to find that it was a simple as not being able to catch a wave. As simple as not knowing what to do when she finally did. She knew that once she figured out how to pop up that she would be able to stay standing and ride it out, but the waves were relentless and knocked her into the blue before she had a chance.

Three days into week two was when she finally broke down. She was crying on Sokka’s bed about how Zuzu was mad at her for trying to one up him and how it wasn’t worth it because she wasn’t even good. How she wished she would have just gone for volleyball.

He treated her to ice cream that she didn’t think she deserved, but Kya had insisted and Hakoda and Katara made it special.

Jet watched her cross the beach. “I’m surprised she’s even showing up still.” Chan’s girlfriend had commented.

“I wouldn’t if I was that awful.” Ruon noted.

“I wonder if her dad beats her for not being able to carry on the family legacy.” Jet didn’t know the girl’s name but even Chan looked at her and muttered, “too far.” Jet might have slapped her if he didn’t have a moral code.

Azula held her head as high as she could for how many times the waves pulled it under. She had enough grace, he could see it in the way she paddled, the way she cut seamlessly through the waves. He could tell that she was getting used to timing and catching the waves. But she never managed to fully stand up and the one time she did, she hadn’t known what to do next.

He watched her drag herself and her board back to shore. Long locks of hair hung down her back, shimmering in the setting sun. She wore a seashell bracelet around her slender wrist. Her skin was tanned nicely and her eyes reflected the sunlight so well.

The rest of the team called her the weak link but he called her beautiful.

The rest of the team called her the weak link but he called her untrained.

He spent his entire weekend doing what their coach should have done. And she caught on fast. Who would have thought that actually teaching her what to do would have made such a significant difference.

When Monday came around, she walked onto the beach with a surfboard fitted to her smaller stature and a more confident stride.

If she could have some success with a board that was not properly sized, she could do wonders with this board.

For the first time she’d managed to catch a wave. Albeit, not on her first or even fourth try. But ten minutes in, she caught one and rode it out. Practices went that much smoother, she was beginning to learn and perform the basics.

It wasn’t the remarkable and impressive transformation she had hoped for.

It was so ordinary.

But it was enough to bring her from dead last to third from the bottom--and on a good night, four away from it.

The season had ended and she vowed to do volleyball next year. But the next year rolled around and her teammates were disappointed to see her dragging her board up the beach.

A summer practicing with Jet and Sokka had done wonders.

Chan, his now ex-girlfriend, Ruon, and the rest of the team hadn’t been there to see her practice. It was just as well. It was more satisfying.

She went first. Her paddling was stronger, her carves smoother, her balance expectedly impeccable. She pulled off her first roundhouse cutback.

Azula was a thrill for Jet to watch, she always was. That determined and driven look and the victorious one that usually followed. They were stunning. She was stunning. Especially now that confidence was thrown into the mix. He more than admired her haughty stride back up the beach and past the rest of the team, “you’re up Chan.”

.oOo.

Azula takes Sokka’s hand and they slowly pad along the sand. He is so close to the sea that almost took him and yet he grins, wide and beaming. It is probably because he is with her. He stops to brush the hair out of her face.

He leans in for his kiss only to get a mouthful of hair courtesy of the wind throwing it back across her face. He sweeps it aside again and this time she holds it back.

She closes her eyes and tilts her head up, she looks serene and blissful.

It makes him want to hurl.

Jet turns away before their lips make contact. With more force than necessary, he takes another bite of his chili dog. He doesn’t even like chili! Yet the flavor is still more pleasant than the look of Sokka locking lips with his ex.

He feels bad for feeling so appalled considering how much less tense she is, but it hits him quite mercilessly that he could have never made her feel that way. If only he’d met her first. If only he had been the childhood friend.

If only he’d asked her for a date when he’d first had the urge. That day when he saw her silhouetted against the sunset with a surfboard in hand.

Maybe if he’d held her a little closer when teaching her to balance. Maybe if he’d cheered her on a little more, she would have asked him.

Maybe he would be walking down the beach with her. Instead he finds himself furious. After everything he’d done for her, she’d snub him like this? It was he who helped her work from no skill whatsoever to the surfer that the rest of the team strived to be.

He helped get her through the past few months of summer and now she was ignoring him more or less completely.

“Still brooding?” Katara asks.

He takes another angry munch of his chili dog.

“Why are you watching them make out if it makes you angry?”

He thinks that maybe he wants to be angry because that is better than feeling let down, used, and miserable. “Maybe if I watch hard enough, she’ll see my charm and makeout with me instead.” He mutters.

“Ew.” Zuko grumbles. Apparently the concept of it is enough to drive him right back to the smoothie bar. Granted, he makes a similar face when he gets within sound range of the couple. Jet swears that if Sokka had the strength, he would quite literally lift her off of her feet.

Thankfully he is still too weary for that and has to settle for a careful hug. “I’m going to go share a smoothie with Zuko, you want anything?” Katara offers.

He shakes his head.

“You sure? We’re going to be heading back tomorrow, so now’s your last chance to have one.”

“I’m sure.”

He hears that light and warm laugh and frowns deeper. He wants to be happy for Azula, he truly does. But he can’t force happiness. He hears the shifting of sand and a shadow falls over him.

“Exactly how long do you plan on staring at my daughter for?”

Jet tenses up. He gives his body enough slack to muster up a single shrug. “Until she stops being so annoyingly beautiful, I guess.” He, to Ozai’s dissatisfaction, slips up.

“If that is the only reason you are upset to have lost her, than you didn’t deserve her.”

He wonders how many times Sokka was told that he wasn’t good enough for Azula, if he had been told at all. “It isn’t. It’s just the easiest reason to explain.”

When the girl’s father doesn’t respond, he continues. “She’s talented and clever. She’s…” his mind wanders back to the stormy beach. “Strong and determined. I think that she might be unstoppable…”

Ozai nods. “Even so. You knew what this trip was about when you stepped aboard the ship. It is not her fault that you were not prepared for the outcome.” He pauses and clasps his hands behind his back, fixing Jet with a stern look. “If you trouble her over her decision, I assure you that there will be a free spot on your surf team.”

Jet suppresses a scowl. The old man did more to hurt his daughter than Jet himself could ever hope to do and he had half the mind to inform him of such. He curbs his tongue. “I don’t want to hurt her.” But he wishes that she wouldn’t hurt him. “Should I talk to her?”

Ozai shakes his head. “Unless it is about surfing or another mundane topic. She will speak to you about it when she is ready.”

Jet sighs and rests his chin in his hands as Ozai makes his way towards the smoothie bar. He feels as out of place as Azula must have while carrying a surfboard much too large for her. He doesn’t belong on this trip. With this family.

Azula leads Sokka back to their beach towel and, in the shade of their umbrella, begins unpacking lunch. It probably has all of Sokka’s favorites.

He hears the sand sift again and the clunk of a glass on the wooden table. “There’s a shot of rum in yours. Don’t you dare mention it to anyone on this beach.”

Jet takes his beverage and sipis it. “And yours.”

Ozai holds out his receipt. There is only one alcoholic drink and Jet can taste the rum on his.

“You could use a drink, boy.”

Azula settles into Sokka’s arms and Jet can’t disagree.

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Sokka #Sokkla #Jetzula #Jet #Zuko #Katara #Ozai #Fanfiction

13 notes · View notes

bobasheebaby · 5 years ago

Text

107 The Good Place Prompts

Eleanor Shellstrop

1 “I just don't think the group thing is for me. I'm better when it's one-one-one and we're both looking at our phones and I don't know the other person and we don't talk.”

2 “The closest thing I could find to herbal tea was a root beer I had them throw in the microwave.”

3 “Whenever anyone tells me a story about their life I always imagine all the people as being super hot. Otherwise, I quickly lose interest. Do you not do that? You can do it for free.”

4 “I'm SO ready to learn, it's like my brain is HORNY!”

5 “What can you possibly say to us that will make up for your actions?” “Pobody's nerfect?”

6 “You don't seem like a ... super genius.”

7 “Ugh, of course your hugs are amazing.”

8 “Oh, so now I'm supposed to be nice and make friends and treat him:her with mutual respect?” “Yeah!” “That's exactly what he/she wants me to do, NAME, wake up!” “That's what everyone wants everyone to do.”

9 “Your friend sounds like he’s/she's one pickle short of a pickle party.”

10 “I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.” “Oh, come on. Everyone knows that's worse.”

11 “I know it sounds crazy, but if it weren’t crazy they wouldn’t call it a ‘leap of faith.’ They would call it a ‘sit … of ... doubting.’”

12 “Buzz off, Bambadjan.”

13 “Where is everyone?” “Who knows? Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting, 'cause it's basically a savory latte with bugs in it.”

14 “First of all, throwing sand is an excellent way to put out a vodka fire.” “Why would you even know that?!”

15 “No, NAME, I used to do that. Now I do selfless things without even thinking about it.”

16 “Why don't I ever listen to people when they talk about themselves? No, it's annoying, and I'm right not to.”

17 “Are you going to talk? Or just walk around like a nerd trying to get a personal best on his Fitbit?”

18 “I guess ‘try and enjoy this’ is a better plan than ‘have the anxiety sweats.’’

19 “I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two men my entire life, Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin.”

20 “Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? Because it’s only kind of working.”

21 “You know I’m trying to say ash-hole instead of ash-hole, right?”

22 “It’s suddenly very important that I get drunk.”

23 “Well fork you, too.”

24 “Holy mother-forking shirtballs.”

25 “‘You’re not better than me’ was my yearbook quote.”

Tahani Al-Jamal

26 “You guys came to say goodbye because you're my friends.” “Well, I suppose some part of me possibly has a sense of casual kinship with you, much as one might be fond of a street cat.”

27 “I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself.”

28 “NAME, you seem thoughtful. And that concerns me.”

29 “I, NAME, shall do my level best to make every event too much.”

30 “I just want to sit and stare at nothing, and silently scream for the rest of time.”

31 “I made a complete fool of myself tonight. I interrupted your big speech and badly stained my cargo pants, which, I have to admit, are quite comfortable. Oh, God, what’s happened to me? I’m praising off-the-rack separates!”

32 “Who else feels that NAME has ruined every moment of your existence since you arrived?”

33 “Right now I'm just a boy/girl, towering over a boy/girl, asking him/her to admit he/she loves me.”

34 “My whole life, whenever I encountered any obstacles, I would simply say, ‘I would like to speak to a manager.’ But in our relationship, there was no manager. There was no one who could fix this for me except me.”

Chidi Anagonye

35 “I’m just not a ‘new experience’ kind of guy. My comfort zone is basically like, that chair, and honestly? The arms are a little sharp.”

36 “Here’s an idea. What if we don’t worry about whatever comes next?”

37 “Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re gonna follow them.”

38 “If this isn’t a test, then it’s something way worse: A choice! That we have to make!”

39 “I am absolutely paralyzed by decision-making.”

40 “I’m going to ... start crying.”

41 “I am pretty good at turning every place I go into my personal hell.”

42 “You know the sound that a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That’s the sound that my brain makes all the time.”

43 “Well, I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities: yes and no.”

44 “There's an old Chinese proverb... ‘Lies are like tigers. They are bad.’””That's it?” “I guess it's more poetic in Mandarin.”

45 “I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone."

46 “I am breaking up with you.” “Why?” “I can't ... It's complicated, but it's happening. Ya dumped!”

47 “I do have a stomachache. Why do I always have a stomachache?”

48 “You put the Peeps in the chili pot and eat them both up! You put the Peeps in the chili pot and add the M&Ms. You put the Peeps in the chili pot and it makes it taste bad.”

49 “Are you alright? You didn't sleep at all last night.” “I got a solid eight minutes. Not consecutively, but still. It's fine. You're not even that blurry.”

50 “We can be colleagues. Associates is pushing it. And by even having this conversation, you're becoming my confidante. I can't have that.”

51 “I am absolutely paralyzed by decision making and it is destroying my life.” “Yeah, I sort of got that when you couldn't choose a chair to sit on.” “Well, I didn't want to offend you in case you had a favorite.”

52 “This whole romantic situation is such a mess. I am vexed, NAME. Vexed.”

53 “I need to step outside ... for some air ... and I will not be back for many days.”

54 “I'm sorry, everyone, I just have some worries as well as some concerns that could potentially turn into outright fears. Ah, there they go, they're fears now.”

55 “When I'm really upset, concentrating on a table of contents helps me calm down. It's like a menu, but the food is words.”

56 “I have never been that certain about anything. I once even tried to rent socks. How did I say that that easily?”

57 “You broke the world. It's not a compliment!”

58 “This is fun. It's a fun party. There's no question about it, this is a fun ... situation. Hey! You guys are here! The fun continues, nay, increases!”

Michael

59 “If soulmates do exist, they’re not found. They’re made.”

60 “I’ll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe. Take it sleazy.”

61 “We have no plan. No one’s coming to save us. So ... I’m going to do it.”

62 “It’s a rare occurrence, like a double rainbow. Or like someone on the internet saying, You know what? You’ve convinced me I was wrong.”

63 “Lies are always more convincing when they’re closer to the truth.”

64 “Kissing is gross. You just mash your food holes together. It’s not for that.”

65 “Birth is a curse and existence is a prison.”

66 “Serious question: should we kill them?”

67 “Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One.”

68 (Holding a plush Minion) “I won this ugly yellow toddler, which is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

69 “Hello, everyone. Good to see you all here, mingling around with your various secrets. Who really knows which of you are who you say you are? No way to know unless I pull your skeletons out, right?"

70 “In the words of one of my actual friends: 'Ya basic'. It's a human insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now."

71 “Where's the H? This keyboard doesn't have an H.”

72 “Dick Tracy called back on his watch phone and said you better "watch" out!”

73 “I got to ride a bike. I put a coin in a thing and got a gumball. And then someone came up to me and said, ‘hot enough for ya?’, and you know what I said? I said, ‘tell me about it!’” “Well I am glad that you got to chew a gumball.” “Oh, damn. I didn't even think to chew it. Missed opportunity, shoot.”

74 “I saw this place that was at once a Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell! I mean, oh! The mind reels! A Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell!”

75 “And what's the significance of the keychain?” “Nothing, I just like frogs. I'm a frog guy.”

76 “I won't let you down.” “I think you will. I think this entire project of yours is stupid and doomed to fail.”

77 “You know the way you feel when you see a chimpanzee and a baby tiger who have become friends? That's how you're going to feel every day.”

78 “You humans have so many emotions. You only need two: anger and confusion!”

79 “It makes sense, right? They're good so they're stupid and trusting.”

Jason Mendoza

80 “I have no idea what’s going on right now but everyone else is talking and I think I should too!”

81 “I can’t believe NAME betrayed us again, why is it always the ones you most expect?”

82 “I wasn’t a failed DJ. I was pre-successful.”

83 “Claustrophobic? Who would ever be afraid of Santa Clause?”

84 “If you’re a devil, how come you’re not wearing Prada?”

85 “I’m too young to die and too old to eat off the kids’ menu. What a stupid age I am.”

86 “Well, my year started about a year ago …”

87 “Dude! We can get mythical animals? Maybe I’ll get a penguin.” “Penguins are real.” “That’s the spirit, NAME. They’re real to me too.”

88 “When I say I'm meditating, I'm just trying to figure out what the fork is happening."

89 “You know, it doesn't matter if you know things. All that matters is what's in your heart."

90 “I'm ranking my favourite Fast and the Furious movies. You said you wanted to know who I am, and this is the best way to get to know me."

91 “He’s/She's my everything. He/She makes the bass drop in my heart.”

92 “Long story short, it was all a dream.”

Janet

93 “I think I might hate things now, too. So far, it’s genocide and leggings as pants.”

94 “NAME told me that instead of being sad, I should ‘go get it, girl.’ So I’m going to go get it, girl.” “Get what?” “Unclear. I’ll get everything, just to be safe.”

95 “In case you were wondering, I am, by definition, the best version of myself."

96 “Ooh, I've never had to walk before, this is fun! [Walks a few steps] Now I'm bored. Walking is dumb.”

97 “Oh, really? Is it an error to act unpredictably and behave in ways that run counter to how you were programmed to behave?”

Minor Miscellaneous Characters

98 “There is some good news. There’s some cake left!” – Neil from Accounting

99 “Well, I'm sure you're busy, you probably wouldn't want to talk to me. I get it, I wouldn't either. I'm as dull as a rock. Ugh, even that analogy was boring. I'm sorry, I'm so dull, and I'm ugly. I'm like a rock. Ugh, stupid Larry! Stop talking about rocks!” — Larry Hemsworth

100 “Oh, and you should smile more. You'll get bigger tips.” — Trevor

101 “Later days, dingus.” — Trevor

102 “Hold that thought. Is it OK if I go work out? I love working out. I gotta stay jacked. It's who I am.” — Chris Baker

103 “This is exhausting. I just want to go back to my container of goo and go to sleep.” — Shawn

104 “So, what's up, what's your deal? Are you single? What's going on?” — Trevor

105 “What up, ding dongs?” — Bad Janet

106 “Hello, imbeciles.” — Shawn

107 “So, we'll just roll on out, and you can get back to putting rainbows up your butt or whatever you do here.” — Trevor

#the good place quotes #the good place prompts #eleanor shellstrop #chidi anagonye #tahani al jamil #jason mendoza #writing prompts #drabble prompts #quaratine sucks and making these keeps my mind busy #i live in covid 19 hell #dialogue prompts

32 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

Text

Survey #296

“reality’s a plague; we’re the medication”

How are you doing in this time of COVID19? Do you personally know anyone who is not taking COVID19 seriously? Tired of it. Don’t see an end to it. I know a bunch of dumbasses who don’t take it seriously at all. What do you think of TikTok? Have you jumped on it yet? Why or why not? I don’t have an opinion on it. What hobby or interest of your significant other do you have ZERO interest in? What about something you actually think might be fun or something you actually picked up thanks to them? If you don’t have an SO, you can think of a relative or friend as an example instead. No s/o, sooo I’ll use best friend instead. Tbh I can’t say I have ZERO interest in anything she likes… If it makes her happy, I’m thankful for it. To answer the second half, she definitely got me into Wings of Fire. Have you ever felt affected by the death of a celebrity or public figure? If so, who? Do you remember when you found out and what was your reaction to it? Steve Irwin comes to mind very quickly. I remember exactly who told me and where I was. I was heartbroken. He was my childhood hero. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, bitch? I’ve been called a bitch. I remember one occasion as a kid where I was called fat for breaking a swing, even though I was a normal size. The swing was just old. It affected me though, for sure. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Ever slow danced with anyone? Yes. Who is the last person to send you a message on Facebook? The woman I took pictures for a few weeks back. She’s a sweetheart. Have you ever been given roses? Yeah. Ever been called babe/baby? Yeah. Who was the last person to smoke something other than a cigarette or weed in front of you? No one’s ever smoked anything else in my presence. Does anything on your body hurt? My knees. They pretty much always do. Who is your favorite family member on your mom’s side? My uncle Rob. Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? Sara. Which of your friends is the most likely to get pregnant right now? I feel like all of them that are “likely” literally are pregnant right now lmao. My Facebook is like a new pregnancy announcement once a week, it seems like. Have you ever been called prince/princess? Ew, no. Have you kissed anyone when you’re single? No. Have you ever kissed someone who was in a relationship? Nooo, I have no interest in being “that person.” What would you call your body type? Let’s not think about this. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yeah. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I don’t think I could. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? I don’t believe so. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? My parents fought all the time. Separated when I was… 17, I wanna say? Have you ever had any volunteer jobs? Ha. Attempts, anyway. Both were animal-related, and I was so excited to become a regular helper, but my weak-ass body couldn’t handle either. Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? I never actually thought of it this way, but yes. Flirting like that was absolutely cheating. Describe how you feel about your life in the past month using one word: Stuck. Are you feeling guilty about anything right now? I always have guilt nowadays. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Hm. I think a about a month back when I took family pictures for someone. The kids’ dad was pretty cute. Are you okay with the life you live? Nope. What other piercings would you get other than the ones you already have? Fuuuuck dude, I want a lot. Many more in my ears, dermals in my collarbones (the #1, ahhh, but I want to lose weight first so you can see the contrast), it’d be nice to have a nose ring that fucking stayed in, I would LOVE an undereye microdermal if I ever change to contacts again, sometimes I think about an eyebrow piercing if I kept my eyebrows thinner… man, there’s a lot. I just love body mod. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? No. Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NO. Is your present hair color natural? Sadly yes. Do you follow a certain religion? No. Do you listen to any country music? Noooo. It’s so weird remembering that I loved it as a kid. Have you ever lived on a farm? No. Do both of your parents have jobs? Dad does, but Mom is currently on disability due to recovering from cancer. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? Ummm. I dunno. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? Politics. Is there anyone you’re not over and feel like you never will be? I doubt I’ll ever be fully over him. But I feel it’s understandable. When’s the last time you were really late to something? Hm. Dunno. Do you sing a lot? I sing veeery rarely. Do you think you have an addictive personality? I have a very addictive personality, yes. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon, easily. What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I don’t know. When was the last time someone took your picture? *shrugs* Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? I eat them with ketchup and mustard, not chili. Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? I’m unsure… but I lean towards no. Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Hell yeah. I’m so for platonic “I love you”s. What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? I'm not sure about "worst," honestly. I've mostly just heard mild inconvenience type things. Have you ever been in a car wreck? Yes. Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Actually, yes, by maybe my second psychiatrist. She was fucking looney; I could see ADD, but ADHD was ludicrous. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? I cut off connections with my dad for years after the divorce. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? Yeesh, no. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None. Are you a happy person? Not really. Have you cried yourself to sleep? Oh yeah. Have you been in trouble with the law/jail time? No. At what age did you become sexually active? Maybe like, 16 1/2? Have you been in a loving relationship? Yes. Have you been in an abusive/bad relationship? No. Who would you die for? Quite a large handful of people, really. Have you ever been in a gang? Nooooo thanks. Who do you dream about most? Annoyingly, Jason. When are you happiest? When I'm hyperfixated on a new interest. Do you answer the phone by saying anything besides "hello?" Not unless it's family, really. Then I'll just be like "hey" or "what's up?", something along those lines. Do you get mad easily? No. What is your favorite song right now? I'm pretty hooked on "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli. Do you wear glasses or contacts? If you wear both, which do you prefer, and why? I wear glasses. I've worn contacts before, they're just too tedious for me. Would you rather be buried or cremated? Cremated, please. Ever done karaoke? Did you like it? No. Goriest movie you've ever seen? Probably some SAW film. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? No. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? No, anything with raisins is disgusting. What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? "It depends on the situation." <<<< This. Have you ever loved a boy who was dating some other girl? I certainly still loved Jason when he was with his girlfriend after me. Is your hair all the same color? Yeah, pretty much. When it was longer, I had natural highlights, but now that it's so short, ig it's hard for them to exist. Denim, leather or varsity jacket? I have desperately wanted a leather jacket since middle school. They're just expensive, at least the ones I like. Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? Ha, no. I'm not gonna clean without reason. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. What TV shows do you keep up with? None. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? Absolutely a greyhound, if I wanted a dog and had room for one of those. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Most definitely not. I'm not even comfortable asking for things at my age. Have you ever tried to jump a fence? I have jumped fences, as a kid. Do you like the movie Zootopia? I do. Do you ever go on Pinterest? Rarely. What's the last kind of chocolate you ate? A sea salt dark chocolate w/ caramel filling Ghiradelli square from Christmas. Can you speak any unusual languages? No. Did you do gymnastics in elementary school? No. Have you ever performed in front of a large audience? Yeah; I was in dance classes for a long time, so we had recitals and went to competitions. I never did a solo, though. I was going to my senior year (senior solos are typical), but I got too nervous to continue with it. It was to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson. Do you like BBQ sauce? Ugh, I hate it. Last time you wore the opposite sex's clothing? Right now. I always wear men's pj pants. Are you currently fighting with someone? No. Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? When I was little, I know my sisters and I kept a box turtle that wandered into our yard for a while. We eventually let it go. Then when I would go fishing with Dad, one of my absolute favorite things to do was try to catch the minnows and tadpoles in my hands, and so I had a fishbowl of those. Don't keep wild animals, please. Do you set good examples for little kids? Probably not. Does your house have a pool? No, but I REALLY want one. It would be so helpful in strengthening my legs without sweating my ass off and feeling like I'm going to collapse. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No, but I've actually had very short (I mean like, a second), sudden spasms when lying down that feel like what I assume a seizure to feel like. I think it's a side effect of my nightmare medication. What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had? Not long at all. Just a few days. Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Maybe? What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? Making dark/dangerous jokes. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? In middle school. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? My fat ass ain't getting in the top bunk. Are you close with your cousins? None, really. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Also not really, but one of my mom's brothers is closest to that. Are you close to your grandparents? They're all dead, but I wasn't very close to any. I never really see my extended family. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Go swimming, if they had a pool. If they didn't or it just wasn't up, I liked playing two-player video games. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? Probably go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and dessert with family and just chill at home for most of the day. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Peanut butter fudge, like holy shit. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? What I have now. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? DYED. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Have you ever won a contest? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Five. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? N/A What song hit you so hard that you remember where you were the first time you heard it? Oh man, what a question. Music can affect me very deeply, so honestly there's probably a number that fit this criteria if I thought for long enough, but I'm not gonna spend ten minutes trying to pick the best one. "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White will do, I guess because that was probably the most recent. I don't let myself listen to it, even though I love it. It'll only drag me into a trauma pit. What's your "brand" of fictional character, the type you always get attached to (ex., "perky girls with deep-seated mental health issues," "guys who you would want as an older brother," etc.)? Totally the sarcastic and usually well-composed villain. If you use Spotify, share your 2020 Wrapped! What are your overall feelings about it? Is it what you expected? I don't use it. If you’re a ~gamer~, what are your top 3 all-time favorite games? Silent Hill 2, Shadow of the Colossus, and Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ever ignored? I dunno; I'm pretty good at listening to those. What’s something extremely bizarre you believed as a very young child? It's fucking embarrassing that I went through this many-years-long "I have animal powers given to me by a wolf I made up!!!" thing, holy god. Like, I thought I could "activate" traits of certain animals. Kids are fuckin wild, but I was exceptionally so. What is the biggest conflict in your life right now? With myself. Through a lot of digging with my therapist, she got me to realize that I don't feel that I'm rightfully lovable because I'm not "successful" and "going nowhere." It hit like a ton of fucking bricks when I understood the "why" of feeling like that. Like don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm a bad person that is worthy of being hated, but totally deserving of pure love, no. So my therapist has me tell myself "I am lovable" in the mirror every morning, and I don't believe it. I'm trying to, but every time I'm just like "lol but are you really?" If you could change your current life schedule to incorporate more or less time for certain things, how would you do so? Do you feel like you have a well-structured and well-balanced schedule at the moment? My schedule is embarrassing, truly. I wake up, get on the computer, go to bed, and that's just about it, taking care of bodily needs being sprinkled in there throughout. I want to change it so, so badly, but I'm just... so set in my ways. I want to incorporate at least 30 minutes of daily reading, and I've yet to start my Wii Fit exercising because I'm waiting for Mom to move into her room (she stays and sleeps in the living room rn) because I do NOT like exercising in front of ANYBODY. I don't care if she gave birth to me. I also want to spend less time just hopping between websites on the laptop just because I can't find anything to do. It'd be nice to draw more, too... but for that, I really need to like the idea of what I'm drawing to stay even slightly motivated. There's probably more to this, but yeah, that's enough. What filler words do you find yourself using most often ("um," "you know," etc.)? "Um" or "uh," probably. I fumble over my words so much as well as just total derail on what I'm talking about that filler words are very, very common for me. When was the last time you felt let down? What were your expectations about the given situation that weren't met? Ugh, so apparently when my laptop was fixed, a lot of things were reset, and that included Lightroom, my primary photography editing software. I lost all my presets and I initially thought pictures too, but thank Christ I had a backup dialogue. I'm still pretty annoyed, because I can't find my favorite free LR download site. I didn't at all expect my laptop to be affected as heavily as it was, just getting a new DC port... If you enjoy taking and editing photos, how would you describe your editing style? This greatly depends on the subject matter and composition, but I feel a common theme is I enjoy vibrance. I war with myself a lot if I make them too saturated, but idk. Have you ever been inspired by a celebrity to change something about your appearance (your clothing style, hairstyle, etc.)? Is much of your taste/style inspired by celebrities? If not, what else serves as an inspiration for you? Ha! Guys, I'm not going to bullshit you, when I got into GMM, I loved Link's big, "nerdy" glasses so much that I became very curious as to how they'd look on me. Years later, I still kept the style and think they've looked best on me of all my glasses. I love them. For the second question, no, not really. My personal aesthetics dictate my style selections. When was the last time you felt a friendship was petering out? If a friendship seems to be fizzling, do you go out of your way to try to "save it," or do you accept that it may have just reached its natural conclusion? Ugh. This has happened in so very many of my friendships that I don't even like thinking about it. If we're talking the most recent time, I suppose with Alex. She just started talking to me less and less before vanishing (to clarify, she's an online friend). Considering just how poorly I handle loss, I'm the type to always try to save friendships I still cherish. Who is your favorite contemporary writer, author, poet, thinker? I don't know. What are your thoughts on body positivity vs. body neutrality? I believe in seeing your body and loving it for all it does, considering it's a masterpiece of biology, but, I also feel it is vital to consider its health. In other words, no, I do not think morbidly obese or emaciated individuals should think their body is... I can't think of the right word, really. "Ideal," I suppose? And keep in mind: this is coming from an obese person. I don't want someone to tell me "your body is perfectly fine!" or "you should just accept you the way you are!" when I spend almost every minute of every day thinking to some degree about how much I hate my fucking weight. No, I don't want to be convinced I should settle and neglect the wellbeing of the one body I have, but I in no way support bashing or being rude to people who are unhealthy, either. I feel like my stance on this is kinda hard to explain. Just respect your body as well as others' and their efforts to treat it the best they can. Do you enjoy keeping secrets from people, like having something about yourself that no one else knows? I mean, I don't enjoy it... I'd prefer to have none. If you play video games, what do you usually like to play? If you don't play video games, do you like watching others play? If so, what? I really like horror games, more than any. Fantasy ones with dragons and gods and the like are awesome, too. I don't enjoy a lot of games that are pretty much just movies with player decisions that barely affect the ending (I do like watching these, though), nor do sportsy or action things normally do it for me. It's by serious luck that I'm an avid World of Warcraft player, because I don't tend to like very grindy games, but I suppose WoW is an exception with the absolutely endless options of what you can do. Onto the second part of the question: totally. I wouldn't watch let's plays if I didn't, and I grew up loving to watch my dad and brother play. I'll watch an even wider variety of games than I play, but it more so depends on who the person is versus what they're playing, because whom I watch is controlled by whether or not/how much I enjoy the individual themselves. What are three things you like about nature? Just three? Damn... Well, the easiest I suppose can be summed up in a quote: "As above, so below." All is tied together. I could go on a romantic monologue about the beauty of our connection to the infinite stars we look upon and the ground we stand on, but I'll spare ya that poem. I love, love, love the sounds of nature: birds chirping, zephyrs through the trees, the crunching of fall leaves. All of it. Then, there's the power of nature! I live for those pictures of nature just taking the Earth back: desolate homes eaten by vines, all that. To call nature merely "spectacular" is truly an act of disrespect, pretty much. What do teenagers have right now that you wish you had when you were their age? Hm. I guess better phones.

#survey #surveys #questionnaire #questions #lyrics: ''ultranumb'' by blue stahli

3 notes · View notes

rabbitcruiser · 2 years ago

Photo

National Ranch Day

Usually a sidekick for a variety of other foods, National Ranch Day brings that delightful flavor of this delicious dressing to the forefront of attention. No longer a condiment or an afterthought, ranch dressing is definitely the special guest star of the day!

History of National Ranch Day

The story of ranch dressing dates back several decades, to the late 1940s. In fact, the claim to the first creation of this strictly American condiment goes to a man named Steve Henson who originally thought of the concoction of buttermilk and herbs when he was working in Alaska.

After moving to California and purchasing the Hidden Valley dude ranch in California, Henson started serving and selling his salad dressing commercially. The company grew through mail-order and started to become very popular throughout the United States.

Ranch style dressing was originally sold as dry packets of herbs and spices that were meant to be mixed with milk and mayonnaise. Today, it can still be found in this powdered style, which is particularly easy for travel, or it can be purchased in bottles that are pre-mixed and ready to eat.

Now, one of the most popular salad dressings and condiments that is sold in the United States. Beyond just pouring it on top of salads, ranch dressing has some other versatile serving options that can’t be beat!

National Ranch Day is here to show appreciation for and pay attention to the deliciousness of ranch dressing.

How to Celebrate National Ranch Day

Take a break from boring and enjoy National Ranch Day with lots of fun and different ways to celebrate. Get started with some of these ideas:

Enjoy Ranch Dressing

One of the best things that can be done in honor of National Ranch Day is to include it in any and every meal and snack eaten on this day! Of course, ranch dressing can be poured on top of a delicious and nutritious salad, but there are other ways to eat it also.

Make it up into a delicious dip for veggies like carrots, broccoli, cauliflower and celery. Or use it for dipping items like chicken nuggets or fish sticks. Other ideas for eating ranch might include drizzling it on top of tasty pizza or a pile of french fries. Some people like to put ranch dressing on corn on the cob, or even on top of chili. Of course, it is delicious with buffalo wings!

Whatever way is preferred, this is definitely the day for getting creative with ranch dressing.

Hold a Ranch Dressing Taste Test

National Ranch Dressing Day is a great time to have fun checking out which ranch dressing is the best one of all. It might be fun to host a ranch dressing taste test in the breakroom at work or just in the kitchen at home. Have coworkers or friends participate in a blind taste test, have each person vote on which one is best, and then name the winning brand as the reigning champion!

Source

0 notes

the--blackdahlia · 5 years ago

Text

You’re All That I Need Chapter 9 (Tommy x Nikki)

Title: You’re All That I Need Chapter 9

Summary: It’s the early 80’s and Nikki Sixx is in need of a band. There’s one condition: no other alphas. That should be fine, since he found three betas to fill up the lineup to become Motley Crue. Or, at least he thinks they’re all betas. A collab between myself and @callme-kaz2y5-baby!

Series Warnings: M/M smut (18+ only please), alpha/beta/omega dynamics, mpreg, language, slight drug use, protective Nikki, extremely funky timeline (might add more as we go)

Fuck, it was getting hot in the room.

At least, that’s what Tommy was thinking before he realized what was going on. The omega felt safe, especially once Nikki locked that door. And because it felt safe, the pheromones of Nikki’s rut were awakening the heat.

“Nikki, how are you feeling?” Tommy asked. He looked at Nikki and the alpha could see the gold threatening to take over the omega's hazel eyes.

"Ok, I just don't want to hurt you," Nikki growled.

"I know you won't," Tommy implored, closing the distance between them and leaning up to press a kiss to Nikki's lips. Nikki wrapped an arm around Tommy's waist and started walking him backwards toward the bed. Tommy was starting to get fidgety, he was hot, and the sheet and boxers were itchy and hot; when they came to a stop at the side of the bed Tommy couldn't get uncovered fast enough and caught Nikki by surprise.

"Woah, Tommy....Tommy..... ..... Omega" Nikkis voice deepened.

Tommy stopped, frozen, "I....I'm sorry, I'm just so hot..." Tommy trailed off, looking away from Nikki.

"Hey, calm down," Nikki soothed, reaching out to pull Tommy into a kiss, Tommy's scent evened back out and lost the sharpness from fear. Once Tommy had calmed completely, Nikki finished undressing Tommy and himself, before laying the omega out on the bed. He knew this first time was going to be fast, but he wanted to make sure it was everything it could be. Tommy was his omega and he deserved this to be special.

Tommy shivered under Nikki's red eyed gaze, "Nikki....Alpha.... n..ne...need you."

Nikki's eyes shot up to Tommy's face to see the gold eyes staring back at him, "I'm gonna make you feel so good Omega" he growled. Tommy held on to him. His slick was making him ready and fuck, he needed Nikki so badly. But, most importantly, he knew that once this happened, him and Nikki would be mated. He would be Nikki’s forever.

And he was so fucking ready for that.

Nikki crawled on the bed and kissed Tommy hungrily before pulling back and uttering the one request Tommy couldn't wait to hear, "present Omega".

Tommy rolled over and presented on knees and elbows the way it seemed Nikki liked the best. Nikki settled between Tommy's spread thighs and leaned forward to lick across Tommy's slick hole, he moaned at the taste of Tommy on his tongue. Tommy moaned and wiggled impatiently, causing Nikki to chuckle, "I'm getting there, needy Omega".

Nikki stopped his teasing and grasped Tommy's hip in one hand and his hard cock in the other, running the head over Tommy's hole once, twice, before sliding in all the way not stopping until his hips pressed against Tommy's ass. Nikki paused to feel Tommy clenching around him, before pulling out and thrusting in hard, setting an almost brutal pace. Tommy only moaned under him, writhing in pleasure and rocking back as Nikki thrust in to increase the pleasure for both of them.

"Nikki, ahh, Alpha gonna come!" Tommy cried.

Nikki felt his knot catching on Tommy's rim, "come Omega" Nikki ordered burying himself in Tommy while sinking his teeth into the mating spot at the junction of neck and shoulder. Tommy came screaming Nikki's name, when he felt Nikki's teeth break skin. Nikki held on while Tommy milked him of his orgasm, knowing that finally they were mated. When the high of their orgasms had passed, Nikki helped to lay them on their sides and stroked Tommy's side while licking over the mating bite.

“How do you feel?” Tommy asked a little while later, pressing back against Nikki’s chest. He didn’t feel as hot right now, and he honestly wasn’t sure how being mated was going to change his heats. He felt Nikki’s hand rub over his chest, placing the palm flat against his heart.

"I feel content, complete, more in love than I've ever felt. And, like, this is the first day of the rest of my life." Nikki answered honestly.

“I feel loved,” Tommy told him. “And whole. Like something had been missing and now it’s there, ya know?” Tommy felt Nikki’s knot start to shrink. “We have a little bit before the next round starts.”

Nikki was able to pull out and Tommy turned in his arms and both drifted off to sleep, while they could.

****

For the next few days, Tommy did not leave the room, and Nikki only opened the door to accept food. To make up for a few days of missing the tour due to Tommy’s heat, the tour was extended by a few dates, which meant they'd be on the bus for 8 more weeks. Doc had booked them up new dates, and they had some makeup to do, but they weren’t really looking forward to it at all.

And Tommy wasn’t feeling good as they got on the bus.

“Shit,” Tommy groaned as the bus pulled off from a stop light. “Trash can please.”

Mick tossed a can over just in time for Tommy to start puking, "Uggg, something I ate must not have agreed with me."

“Dude, want me to wake Nikki up for you?” Vince asked. Tommy was about to say no, but Nikki had sensed his omega’s distress and came from the sleeping area.

"Tommy, babe, is everything ok?" Nikki asked voice filled with concern.

“Yeah, I just…” Another round hit him and he threw up the rest into the trash can. The smells in the room seemed too intense, and so did the lights and well, everything. But it was different than the intensity of a heat.

"Ok, I think you need to go lay down," Nikki suggested, helping Tommy up and helping him back to the beds. Tommy clung to him, his omega seeking the comfort of the alpha.

“I guess those chili cheese dogs were a bad idea,” Tommy groaned. Nikki sniffed the air. Something smelled slightly different, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Tommy curled up in the blankets. They felt so soft and he just wanted to pile them all on the bed.

"Are you sure? We can see about finding a doctor to look at you." Nikki asked.

“I should be fine for our next show. Uh...where exactly is it?” Tommy asked. They were on week seven of their eight week extension and Tommy was losing track of it all as the corn fields and billboards blurred by.

“New Haven,” Nikki explained. Tommy nodded slowly. “Connecticut.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Tommy cuddled into Nikki. “I’m gonna go to sleep for a bit. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

"I want to," Nikki said, pulling Tommy close to him.

Tommy slept for a few hours, Nikki laid there watching him and running his fingers through Tommy's hair. When Tommy finally woke he was feeling good as new. "All I needed was some more sleep," Tommy beamed.

"Glad you’re feeling better babe," Nikki smiled back at him.

"I will not be eating chili cheese dogs for awhile," he laughed and watched the crew testing out his drum kit at the venue. It was going to fly out over the audience. "Isn't that fucking awesome?"

Nikki looked at the rig skeptically, "yea it's awesome, just be careful. I can't lose you."

“Yeah, yeah. I’m always careful babe,” Tommy kissed his cheek. “Love you.”

"Love you," replied Nikki.

“Okay, I gotta go practice a little bit but I’ll try to catch up with you before the concert,” Tommy smiled and kissed Nikki before getting ready to head to practice. Nikki snagged his hand.

"Hey, a kiss for the road?" Nikki asked.

“Come here,” Tommy pulled Nikki to him and kissed him deeply.

"Ok, you can go, I guess," Nikki moped.

"Sixx, we need you!" called Mick pulling Nikki away from Tommy.

“I’ll see you later Nikki!” Tommy waved at his alpha before he headed towards his drum kit. “Okay baby, show me what you got.”

*****

The first half of the concert went off great. The pyro was fantastic, the lights were amazing, everything sounded perfect. Tommy was all smiles, like hadn’t heard the same things every night for the past few months. And even though he had just thrown up almost everything he had eaten that afternoon.

“Want me to get Sixx?” Mick asked when he had stopped for a drink in the wings. Tommy shook his head. Nikki and Vince were doing a brief solo and Tommy had just puked his guts out.

“I’m good,” Tommy rinsed his mouth and spit. “My big solo’s coming up.”

“You sure you wanna do that?” Mick asked. “What if you hurl all over the audience?”

“They’ll have a never before happen event then,” Tommy smiled and headed back towards his drums as the lights went out for what they jokingly called shift change. Nikki pulled Tommy to him and gave him a quick kiss.

"Please be careful, I love you," Nikki whispered.

“Love you alpha,” Tommy smiled and went to his kit. He smiled as he played around like he always did, hitting different patterns and watching everyone freak the fuck out at the flying drums. He felt a little dizzy as he stood up, ready to grapple down to the ground. He stepped into the bungie and looked out, waving to everyone. He could see the guys in the wings, drinking some water and waiting for him to finish up. So he started his decent, and the last thing he remembered before his vision went black was the world starting to twist and twirl like a kaleidoscope.

Nikki was standing in the wings watching Tommy do his drum solo, and taking in all the fans in awe. Nikki was so proud of everything Tommy accomplished but he couldn't shake the feeling something bad was going to happen. Nikki watched as Tommy stepped into the rig, and he immediately knew something was wrong now, he took one step forward right as Tommy started to fall head first to the ground.

"Nooooooo!" screamed Nikki as he ran towards Tommy. Everything seemed muffled; the fans screaming, Mick and Vince running after him yelling for the EMTs. His whole being was focused on Tommy. He rushed to his side careful not to move him. "Tommy, Tommy, babe, please, please, please wake up," Nikki begged.

“Nikki, the EMT’s are on their way,” Vince went to touch Nikki, but his head snapped around and he glared at the frontman.

"Don't touch me." Nikki snarled through gritted teeth, eyes flashing red.

"Sixx," Mick called, "Get it under control. It's not Vince's fault."

"Right, right," Nikki said, his alpha receding.

“Sorry Nik, I just...” Vince started. There was a groan then from the ground and Nikki immediately turned his attention back to Tommy, whose eyes were blinking open.

“Anyone get the plate from that truck?” Tommy groaned, blinking a few times. “Fucking hell.”

"Oh god, Tommy, how are you feeling?" Nikki asked, immediately trying to get a reading on his omega. There was so much chaos going on, but Nikki wanted to focus on just Tommy.

“I think I’m okay,” Ignoring warnings from around him, Tommy pushed himself to his feet and waved, getting cheers from the crowd. He had a smile on his face, despite feeling a little dizzy.

"You are not ok. You are going to the hospital and getting checked out," Nikki insisted.

“But I think I’m fine,” Tommy headed back towards the stage, but wobbled a little and almost would’ve face planted if it hadn’t been for Vince standing where he was. Nikki quickly ran to him. “Okay, hospital might be a good idea…”

Vince and Nikki helped Tommy from the stage and to a waiting ambulance. Nikki rode with him while Vince and Mick made an announcement to the fans. They planned to meet them there, because the pack had to stay together.

“Nikki?” Tommy asked, seeing Nikki’s head bowed down as he held Tommy’s hand that didn’t have an IV in it between his two hands. “Babe? Are you okay?”

"Yea, just worried about you," Nikki smiled, but it didn't quite meet his eyes.

They were at the hospital in no time, and taken back to a room quickly. Thankfully, Tommy’s mating mark was shown, and Nikki could stay with the drummer. He didn’t think he could stand being away from him.

The doctor insisted on bloodwork. Mick and Vince joined them not long after all the vials were taken and it became just a waiting game. Vince was goofing off to make Nikki and Tommy smile when the doctor walked in.

"Mr. Lee, Mr.Sixx, I have some news, do you want to hear it or should we get you some privacy?" the doctor asked.

"The guys can stay," Tommy answered. “They’re our pack.”

"Ok, well, the bloodwork came back, and Mr. Lee your pregnant. It looks like you had a bout of vertigo which caused your fall, which can happen often during pregnancies for various reasons. We'd like to do a head and neck x-ray to make sure everything is ok, and I’m going to recommend some vitamins that can help with the sickness you were telling the nurse about," the doctor said.

"Is...is that safe?" Nikki asked.

"Yes, both Mr. Lee and the baby will be safe," the doctor confirmed.

"Ok, let's get this done with," Tommy said.

Tommy was wheeled back for the x-ray, but Nikki couldn't go with, he was pacing the hallway in front of Tommy's room like a caged wolf, back and forth, back and forth. Vince and Mick stayed a respectable distance, but kept an eye out.

They were all digesting it. Tommy was pregnant.

Tommy was back in his room in 20 minutes with Nikki by his side. The group waited another 15, no one really talking about the elephant in the room, before the doctor came back. "Ok, no brakes, fractures, or strains. You can go but you need to rest, and here’s the prescription for the vitiams that I talked about." the doctor explained.

The guys all loaded on the bus waiting for them after Tommy's discharge, and took them to their nearby hotel.

That's when it finally hit. Tommy was pregnant.

"I need a drink," Tommy reached for his Jack, only to have Mick take it away. "Hey! Give it back!"

"You can't drink it drummer," Mick said calmly.

“So I can’t drink at all? Not even a sip?” Tommy asked.

"Not a sip...be serious about this," Vince supplied.

“Oh great. So I get to watch while the three of you party if up like true rock stars because I’m a fucking omega!” He stormed off then, slamming the door behind him. Nikki looked over at Mick.

“Mood swings,” Mick told him. “They’re bad in women. Heard they’re even worse in male omegas.”

"Fucking hell, this is all my fault... I need to go check on him" Nikki growled.

“I wouldn’t go after him right now, but that’s just my opinion.” Mick shrugged.

"You can take your opinion and shove it Mick," Nikki said, storming off.

“Great. They’re both gonna have mood swings,” Vince groaned and flopped down to read a magazine. Mick rubbed his temples.

“I’m going to go to my room and drink lots of booze,” He sighed, heading out.

****

Tommy was curled up in bed, a mound of blankets around him like a wall.

"Tommy babe, how are you feeling?" Nikki asked gently.

“I can’t believe I yelled at everyone,” Tommy sighed. He turned to look at Nikki. “Why haven’t you run away screaming?”

"Run away screaming? Because I love you silly, and we're in this together. Permission to join you?" Nikki asked sincerely.

“Come here,” Tommy reached for Nikki, wanting to feel the comfort only his alpha could provide. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to enjoy this newly mated thing.”

Nikki crawled into bed with Tommy and snuggled down with Tommy wrapped in his arms, "this is enjoying the newly mated thing, and we're going to be parents."

“And we wouldn’t have known yet if I hadn’t fallen,” Tommy rested his head on Nikki’s chest. “My head does kinda hurt…”

"Come on, let's take a nap, you might feel better after." Nikki stroked Tommy's head until he heard his breathing even out. Nikki laid there his gorgeous omega in his arms terrified about the future, and what Tommy being pregnant meant for them, and the band.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme

Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva @deacyduck @scarecrowmax @major-tom-is-a-junky @anyasthoughts @bandaids-not-groupies @ilovetomkeiferslips @kaitieskidmore1

#you're all that i need #Motley Crue #nikki sixx #Tommy Lee #terror twins #tommy lee x nikki sixx #nikki sixx x tommy lee #fanfiction

22 notes · View notes

astroni800 · 5 years ago

Conversation

Since Sonic Twitter Takeover #4 transcription by pacifistchara is no longer available I reupload it here:

Sonic: Hey, what’s up, everyone? Sonic here, excited to be with you all for our fourth ever Twitter Takeover! You can ask me any questions with—

[knocking sounds in background]

Sonic: Oh, sorry, one sec. Yeah? Hello? Oh, Tails!

Tails: Hey, Sonic! Heard you were doing that Twitter thing again! Can I join this time?

Sonic: Of course! You, uh…you didn’t invite Knuckles, though, right?

Tails: Nah, just me! But, uh, I think Eggman was actually waiting outsi—

Eggman: Surprise!

Tails: [sighs]

Eggman: You didn’t think you could host another of these without me around, did you, Sonic? Ooh, and I brought a friend!

Shadow: I’m still not your friend, Doctor. I just felt this Twitter Takeover could use a little help from the Ultimate Lifeform.

Sonic: Ah. Well, it’s a bit crowded in here now, but we’ll make this work! Tweet us your questions today on Twitter with the hashtag #AskSonic, and you might get a special response from us!

Shadow: Wait. Why is it “#AskSonic”? I think it should be “#AskShadow”.

Eggman: Or #AskEggman! I do have a PhD.

Tails: Or #AskTails! I know all sorts of stuff, I’m really smart—!

Sonic: Guys, guys, guys. Guys! It’s just #AskSonic, okay? You can all answer, don’t worry!

Tails: Fine…

Eggman: [sighs loudly]

Shadow: [indistinct grumbling]

Sonic: So send us your questions here on Twitter for the next six hours, and you might get a response from us! Until then…

All: See ya!

Shadow: Hmph. It really should be #AskShadow.

~ #1 ~

Eggman: Let’s see…here’s a question from Sonicguy001. He says, “Tails, what’s the greatest thing you’ve ever invented?”

Tails: Oh, the greatest thing I’ve ever invented? Oh, man, but there’s so many! Uh…maybe the Tornado? No, no, maybe Miles Electric?

Shadow: “Miles Electric”?

Sonic: Oh, that little translator pad you keep with you?

Tails: Yeah! Or – wait, I know, maybe…the Sea Fox!

Eggman: None of these are really that impressive, in my opinion.

Shadow: I’ve never even heard of the Sea Fox.

Tails: Oh, right. We hadn’t really met you yet.

Sonic: Yeah, Game Gear days, my dude.

Eggman: Tails is responsible for the death of so many batteries.

Tails: Thanks for your question, Sonicguy! Between us, I hope my best invention is yet to come!

~ #2 ~

Shadow: TassaneeKunchai asks… If I pronounced that name wrong, change it. Anyway, they ask, “Eggman, do you have any hobbies? If so, what are they?” Heh. This should be good.

Eggman: Ooh, I like this one! Let’s see, my hobbies include long walks on the beach, creating robot armies, and oh, of course – conquering the entire planet you live on.

Sonic: Seriously? Can you really call it a hobby if it’s something you fail at every time you try it?

Tails: Hahaha, are you talking about him conquering the planet or the long walks on the beach, Sonic?

Shadow: He means both. The doctor spends far too much time indoors.

Eggman: I do not! I get outside all the time. You guys, stop ganging up on me! Anyway, thanks for the question, Tassa… [stutters] When I take over this planet, unlike these three, you’ll be on my good list.

~ #3 ~

Eggman: Hope I’m pronouncing this right… LoveyDoveyii asks, “Hey guys, hope you’re all having a nice day. To Sonic, if you were to list everything you like about your little buddy Tails, what would it be?”

Tails: Aww, this one’s about me?

Sonic: Well, let’s see. Tails is awesome for a ton of reasons! But I’ll list the big ones. He’s always there for me when I need him, and—

Shadow: Sure. Just like that time you were sent in a capsule that exploded from the Space Colony ARK, right?

Eggman: Oh, right, I did do that.

Tails: Hey, no, I—!

Sonic: Plus he’s always optimistic, he’s a genius mechanic, and I know he always does the right thing. He once even saved all of Station Square from Eggman!

Tails: Haha, I mean, y'know…

Eggman: I wasn’t really trying, you know.

Sonic: So, anyway, those are just a few of the things about Tails that I think are great. You’re the best, man.

Tails: Aw, thanks, Sonic!

Shadow: I think I’m going to throw up.

~ #4 ~

Tails: Here’s one! Col0rsandmayhem asks, “What are some of your favorite snacks?”

Eggman: Oh, wonderful timing! We’ve just arrived at today’s Twitter Takeover Sponsorship! Here, Sonic, read this.

[paper rustling]

Sonic: Wait, do I really have to—

Eggman: Come on, just read it or I don’t get my free minifridge!

Sonic: UGH, fine. [in a bored monotone] “This Twitter Takeover is brought to you by Chaos Cola, the official cola of Chao Races and Chao Karate worldwide. Crack open a relatively chilled Chaos Cola today.”

Tails: Personally, I like their mint juice drinks better.

Shadow: You’re all such corporate sellouts. I say support indie drinks. There’s nothing cooler than supporting the little guy.

~ #5 ~

Eggman: Jirard the Completionist asks, “Hey guys, huge fan, all hail Shadow—”

Shadow: Ooh, yeah, I like this guy already.

Eggman: Shadow, let me finish, please. [clears throat] “What is your ideal chilidog? Does Eggman’s have egg on top?”

Sonic: Ah. Plain dog, hot chili, and cheese. Easy answer.

Tails: I mostly give my chilidogs to Sonic. But I think I get the same thing he does.

Shadow: First, bonus points for showing me the respect I deserve, Completionist. Second, I add peppers, and even more cheese than Sonic. Just to prove I’m better than him.

Eggman: Mine would have three eggs on top, all with little Eggman faces—

Sonic: Hey, Eggman, check this out. I was searching this dude and he’s got a band called “Big Bad Bosses” with you in it!

Eggman: Huh? That can’t be right. My musical career is kept remarkably secret!

Tails: Oh, wow, there’s a whole Eggman song and everything!

Shadow: If you’ll excuse us, Jirard, we’re about to watch this video and laugh profusely at Eggman. Thanks for the great question.

~ #6 ~

Sonic: Evil_Antho asks “Hi guys! Question for your glorious, egg-shaped mad genius…” You know what, I think we’re just gonna throw this one out.

[paper rustling]

Eggman: Hey, give me that! Let’s see. They want to know if I secretly keep a Chao Garden in my evil lair. “If so, would you please share your secrets to Chao care?”

Tails: Eggman, you have a Chao Garden in your evil lair?

Eggman: What? Heh, not at all, I wouldn’t do that! Even if the evil ones are surprisingly cute, and understand me at a psychological level far deeper than anyone else ever could.

Shadow: Doctor, last time I was at your lair, I could’ve sworn I saw little Chao toys all over the floor—

Eggman: Nononono, those were, those were…those were Tails’s.

Tails: WHAT? That is NOT TRUE!

Eggman: Anyway, uh, thanks for the question, Evil, but I most definitely do NOT have a bunch of secret evil Chao in my lair, haha. CUT THE MIKE! CUT THE MIKE!

~ #7 ~

Shadow: SlashClaws asks, “Eggman, have you ever used your tech for a non-evil purpose?”

Eggman: Good question! But of course, SlashClaws. I did help save the planet from a falling space colony once.

Tails: Yeah, but to be fair, you also kinda started all that.

Eggman: Okay, then how about…I once used it to stop the Deadly Six from also destroying the world.

Sonic: Yeah, but that was using your creation, Eggman. You started that one too.

Eggman: Okay, wow, you guys are just really being mean to me here. I’m not that evil—

Shadow: Don’t trust anything the doctor says, ever. That’s my motto.

Tails: I agree.

Eggman: I just can’t win with you people! Thanks for the question, SlashClaws.

~ #8 ~

Tails: Oh, I got a fun one here! maliasorce asks – sorry if I said that wrong, heh – “Sonic, what is the key to your positivity? What makes you so optimistic 24/7?”

Shadow: Yes, please tell us so I can finally put into words what bothers me about you so much.

Sonic: Hey, Malia! Great question. And, uh, ignore Shadow. [mockingly] He’s just grumpy because he hasn’t had a question in a bit.

Eggman: So what is it that keeps you so positive all the time, Sonic?

Sonic: Easy! Part of it’s my friends, like Tails and Knuckles, and part of it is knowing that no matter what, we can always overcome whatever life throws at us.

Shadow: Aw, how adorable. And remarkably cheesy.

Tails: He’s right, though! Everyone has bad days and rough times, but I think it always helps to know that even if they’re rough, things are going to get better someday.

Eggman: Thanks for the question, Malia.

~ #9 ~

Sonic: All right. Gushers asks, “Yes, hi, Sonic, sir!” Wow, so formal. “Why do people always send me this?” Oh, and there’s a…picture here…

Tails: It’s a picture of you, Sonic!

Eggman: Whoa, looks like an old one! What is this, Dreamcast days?

Shadow: It’s a little picture of you saying “I like Gusher”?

Eggman: Wait, I know what this is…

Shadow: Leave it to me, Eggman. I’ve been waiting for this moment. [clears throat] Silence, brand.

Sonic: Whoa, guys, chill out. I like their Twitter. Thanks, Gushers!

Tails: PS, if you wanna send us any free samples, my workshop’s address is 101 Mystic Ruins Lane, Suite—

Shadow: Tails, you’re doing it again. Stop being a corporate sellout. Listen, Gushers, if you send any samples out, you send ‘em straight to me.

~ #10 ~

Tails: Thomas Capella asks, “To everyone except Shadow, because he already answered, what’s your favorite anime?”

Eggman: Oh, mine’s a bit dark, you might not like it, it involves ghouls and the like…

Sonic: Ha, mine’s easy. Sonic X! Not that I’m biased or anything. How about you, Tails?

Tails: I like the one with the kid who becomes a hero. “One for All!”

Shadow: Mine’s still the one with the girl and the scissor blade. It’s the greatest anime of all time, and none of you will ever change my mind.

~ #11 ~

Shadow: _kimmyko_ asks “Hey, Eggman, where do I sign up to join the Eggman Empire? Is there a paid internship program or something? Asking for a friend.”

Sonic: Whoa, whoa, whoa, kimmyko, let me stop you right there. You really don’t want this internship, trust me.

Tails: Hey, I could use an intern! I mean, I couldn’t pay you in anything but gold rings, but—

Eggman: Would you two stop trying to poach my new hires? People wonder why HR can’t find quality candidates, and now I realize it’s you two! kimmyko, I don’t pay my interns because it’s the most evil thing I can do. But I’d be happy to have you join the Eggman Empire.

Shadow: Between us, I recommend going your own way. You don’t need Eggman or Sonic and Tails. Trust only yourself.

Eggman: Exactly. Trust yourself to ignore Shadow and follow me! Welcome aboard!

~ #12 ~

Tails: Hey, Eggman, what’s that one?

Eggman: Let’s see. SonicReikai asks, “For your Spanish fans, could you four please sing the Macarena?”

Tails: Wait, you guys sang last time?

Sonic: I mean, yeah, a little bit.

Shadow: You have no proof I sang anything.

Eggman: Well, they soon will. Let’s do it!

All: [a few lines’ worth of indistinct mumble-singing] Ay macarena!

Tails: [a few more lines’ worth of indistinct mumble-singing]

All: Ay macarena!

~ #13 ~

Tails: Heh, I like this one. Brandon Santiago asks, “To Shadow, if you’re the ultimate lifeform, how come you need your rocket shoes to run fast while Sonic doesn’t, hmmm?”

Eggman: Ooh, he’s going right in with that one, isn’t he?

Sonic: [mockingly] Yeah, Shadow, why do you need rocket shoes to run fast?

Shadow: What a presumptuous question from this “Brandon” person. I’m not just fast because of my rocket shoes, Brandon. I’m the Ultimate Lifeform. And you would be wise to respect my power!

Eggman: Whoa, he’s actually getting a little angry.

Tails: Do you think he’s upset because it’s maybe a little true?

Shadow: No, it’s NOT true! Tails, you couldn’t even come close to beating me if you tried. Especially if—

Sonic: Guys, why is Shadow glowing red?

Shadow: —especially if I—

Eggman: Oh, no, I’ve seen this before—

Shadow: Chaos—

Everyone else: [screaming]

Shadow: —Blast!

Everyone else: [screaming continues]

~ #14 ~

Tails: DarkNecroDizzy asks, “Hey, Sonic, what do you do with all the golden rings you’ve collected over the years, anyways?”

Shadow: Yes, what do you do with those, Sonic?

Eggman: Ha, he doesn’t have that many! I normally knock them all out of him.

Sonic: Really? Good question, NecroDizzy. I save a lot of them, but I do spend a good amount on Chao and power-ups, too.

Tails: And I use them to fund my creations!

Shadow: I donate all my gold rings to those in need. Check out Global Giving, St. Jude, and Extra Life for some great places to send your gold rings, too.

Eggman: Shadow’s a philanthropist? Who knew? Thanks, NecroDizzy!

~ #15 ~

Shadow: LuckyPaola asks, “Dear Sonic, Tails, Shadow, and Doctor Eggman, what do you eat for breakfast?”

Sonic: Oh, hey, they drew a little image here.

Tails: Oh my gosh, this is so cute!

Eggman: Oh, hey, that’s me on the right there! Am I…am I flipping eggs or pancakes?

Sonic: It’s gotta be eggs, because you’re Eggman, right?

Eggman: Well, sure, but I actually really love making waffles for breakfast!

Shadow: Am I drinking tea or coffee?

Tails: Do you drink a lot of coffee, Shadow?

Shadow: No, I just eat the beans straight. Didn’t you listen to the last Twitter Takeover?

Sonic: Tails, we’ve got little breakfast chilidogs, I think!

Tails: This is my new favorite art ever! Thanks, LuckyPaola!

~ #16 ~

Shadow: Recko the Dark asks, “Well, Eggman, would you sell TV products? What would be the first one that would occur to you?”

Eggman: TV products, hmm… Well, that’s easy. I’ve got so many wonderful products I’ve made over the years.

Tails: All of them remarkably dangerous and definitely not safe for TV.

Eggman: Oh, that’s not true, Tails! I built the Hedgehog Trapper 9000, which is only dangerous if you’re the one being trapped.

Tails: That one has sawblades!

Eggman: Purely decorative, don’t worry! And I’m working out this neat design for a new Metal Sonic – he’s got rockets on both his hands and feet!

Sonic: Wait, whoa, this still sounds really dangerous.

Eggman: Oh, no, no, not for the people on TV, don’t worry. Only dangerous for you, Sonic.

Shadow: Recko, I don’t think we can legally allow Eggman to keep talking, so I’m going to cut the mike here. Thanks for your question.

~ #17 ~

Sonic: Oh hey, the Sonic Stadium – nice fansite name, guys – asks, “Many of our readers want to know, what is the secret to growing such a fine moustache?”

Tails: Wait, is that for all of us or just Eggman?

Eggman: I’ve got this, don’t worry. Listen, the secret is quite simple. First you need good product. I use a firming gel called “Adam and Sven”. Then you use a comb, and also carefully trim it to become impeccably stunning and handsome.

Tails: I wonder what Eggman would look like if we shaved his mustache off.

Eggman: Oh no, trust me, you really don’t wanna see that.

Shadow: I agree, Tails. Maybe we should shave it off right now.

Eggman: Shadow – no no no, please, guys, listen, I—

Sonic: Just grab him, quick!

Eggman: No, no, nonono, wait— [screams]

~ #18 ~

Tails: smoov22_sonic asks, “What’s Shadow’s favorite place to go shopping?”

Sonic: Oh, it’s gotta be that store with all the edgy clothing and goth stuff. What is it, Lukewarm Topic?

Eggman: I bet it’s the Halloween shop down the street! I saw him wearing a cape once.

Shadow: What? Those are both fine establishments, by the way, but I do my shopping at the local convenience store. It’s called “Maria’s”.

Eggman: [quiet intake of breath]

Tails: Oh, wait, um, Maria was…

Sonic: Oh, wow, sorry. I – I didn’t mean to—

Shadow: No. No, it’s fine. As long as I can keep supporting some Maria out there in the world, I…at least feel like I’m making it a better place.

Eggman: This question turned out to be quite the emotional rollercoaster. Thanks, smoov22.

~ #19 ~

Shadow: JadeUltra asks, “Where do you guys see yourself in the future?”

Eggman: Oh ho, that’s easy! Sitting atop my mechanical throne, ruling the world!

Sonic: Also an easy answer. Stopping Eggman from whatever plan he thinks he can pull off, and spending some more time on Twitter when I can.

Tails: I’d like to create more inventions that could support everyone.

Shadow: I’d like to open up a cat orphanage someday, for all the stray cats of the world, so they have a place to stay.

Everyone else: Wait, really?

Shadow: What? I have a soft spot for adorable little kittens. Don’t judge me.

Eggman: So judged.

~ #20 ~

Tails: TheHaasManWyatt asks, “What is your all-time favorite memory?”

Sonic: Oh, I like this one! For me, probably that time we all saved the planet together. Well, the one with the Biolizard, anyway.

Tails: My favorite memory is meeting Sonic for the first time. And after that, uh… My adventure on Cocoa Island.

Eggman: My favorite memory was finally beating Sonic, e-even though it happens all the time. What about yours, Shadow?

Shadow: My favorite memory was being dead.

Sonic: Wow, okay, that got dark.

~ #21 ~

Eggman: GottaPostFast asks – oh, I get that, that’s a reference – “Hey Tails, you probably get this a lot, but what does the fox say?”

Tails: Oh, uh… [quietly] Hey, Sonic, are the lawyers gonna get angry if I sing the song and stuff?

Sonic: [quietly] Yeah, probably. You just have to come up with something else real fast.

Shadow: [quietly] What are you two whispering about?

Tails: N-nothing! The fox says, uh… um… I’ve gotta fly high!

Eggman: Wait, that’s just your theme song from Sonic Adventure—

Tails: So I can reach the highest of all the heavens!

Sonic: Nice save, bud.

Shadow: I’m very, very confused by all this. Thank you, GottaPostFast. Next question.

~ #22 ~

Tails: AshleyChan456 asks, “I’ve got a question to ask all of you. Seeing that summer is nearly upon us, I’ve gotta ask: What’s your ideal summer vacation?”

Sonic: For me, a nice, beautiful beach, a palm tree or two, an umbrella to block out the sun, a boombox to play some tunes…

Tails: A motorized surfboard so I can splash water all over Sonic on accident, then go out of control and try to rescue a big owl guy.

Sonic: I almost feel like we’ve done this before.

Shadow: My ideal summer vacation is a trip to somewhere dark and spooky. I might invite Rouge or Omega to join me.

Eggman: Mine would be in my evil lair, surrounded by my own creations, watching as my minions conquer and capture all the little animals of the forest and turn them into more robots.

Shadow: Wait, can I change my answer? Instead—

Tails: Nope, we’re outta time! Thanks, Ashley, and hope you have a great summer too!

~ #23 ~

Sonic: Menno asks, “Hello, Shadow! What would your ultimate day look like?”

Tails: [imitating Shadow] “Dear Diary, today I brooded. And brooded some more. And then raised some Chao.”

Eggman: Hey, that’s not bad, Tails.

Shadow: Quiet, fox. My ultimate day would consist of a nice two handfuls of coffee beans in the morning, followed by a playthrough of the world’s greatest video game—

Sonic: Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric?

Shadow: No, Shadow the Hedgehog.

Tails: Probably should’ve seen that one coming.

Shadow: Then I head outside to do mysterious things, like saving people in need at the last moment, or picking up cool dark clothing that I’ll never wear.

Eggman: And then after that?

Shadow: Finally, I head home and put on a good movie, like Chao in Space 3, which features me. It’s much better than Chao in Space 2.

Sonic: …yeah. Well, thanks for the question, Menno.

Shadow: Wait, I’m not done y—

~ #24 ~

Sonic: [clears throat and proceeds to stumble over the pronunciation of the asker’s name several times] aoii91 asks, “How many chilidogs could a hedgehog eat if a hedgehog could eat chilidogs?”

Shadow: Let me get this straight. “How many chilidogs could a hedgehog eat if a hedgehog could eat chilidogs?”

Tails: A hedgehog could eat all the chilidogs.

Eggman: Well, if a hedgehog could eat chilidogs. I think they’re vegetarians.

~ #25 ~

Eggman: Hyper Potions asks, “What’s your favorite Team Sonic Racing track?”

Tails: Oh, man, we have to pick one? But I love so many!

Shadow: Do they mean track, or musical? Aren’t these some of the people who worked on the game’s soundtrack?

Sonic: Hey, I know these guys! Hyper Potions also made the trailer music for Sonic Mania! Well, to answer your question, Whale Lagoon for me.

Eggman: Personally, my favorite track is Final Fortress.

Shadow: Mine is Boo’s House. I love watching Knuckles get scared of ghosts.

Tails: Okay, then mine would be…Sky Road.

Eggman: There you go, Hyper Potions. Oh, and special thanks to the other musicians who helped make the soundtrack so amazing, too!

Sonic: Yeah, like Jun Senoue and Crush 40!

Tails: And Tee Lopes!

Shadow: And Tyler Smith. He also made the theme of Infinite, which I enjoy very much.

Eggman: And TORIENA!

Sonic: Thanks for the question, Hyper Potions!

~ #26 ~

Shadow: TheChaosSpirit asks, “To all of you, what do you guys like to do to stay motivated when the going gets tough?”

Eggman: Personally, I build more robots. Keeps my mind off things. And believe me, the going gets tough for me a lot.

Tails: I like to think about new inventions, or go outside.

Sonic: And I like to stay motivated by running. Anywhere, any place. Oh, and by blowing up Eggman’s robots.

Shadow: I look back on my past dark, traumatic moments, and use those to shield myself from the impending challenges of the future. No matter what may come, I’ve surely faced far worse before.

Eggman: And there you go! Always so optimistic, Shadow.

~ #27 ~

Tails: Ann Michal asks, “Hi, Sonic! Have you ever considered dyeing your fur black and red to look cooler?”

Shadow: Who is this girl? And why does she have such good taste in hedgehogs?

Sonic: I’m sorry, what? Dye my fur black and red? Pshht, no thanks. That’s a Shadow thing right there. I’m good with blue.

Eggman: Wait a minute, you guys. I looked into this person’s history and it says here she even gave a presentation about Shadow.

Sonic: Wow. That’s a lot of retweets, too.

Tails: Ooh, someone’s got an admirer!

Shadow: “An Exploration of Shadow the Hedgehog’s True Moral Compass (& Knuckles)”. Impressive. Very impressive. Nice work, Michal. Thanks for being one of my biggest fans.

Sonic: Blue quills are better.

~ #28 ~

Eggman: LiatrisBlossom asks, “So, Shadow, where was that fourth Chaos Emerald?”

Tails: Yeah, Shadow, did you ever find that thing? It’s kind of a meme on the internet, you know.

Shadow: No, Tails, I never found that [bleep] fourth Chaos Emerald. I tried searching for the [bleep] Chaos Emerald many times, but I never found it.

Sonic: Wait, are you censoring yourself on purpose, Shadow?

Shadow: What? No. I just said exactly what I said in the game. You know, that [bleep] fourth Chaos Emerald.

Tails: Holy cow, he’s being censored in real time!

Eggman: That is some pretty impressive tech, SEGA.

Shadow: You may think you can stop me, SEGA Twitter team, but if I said it in the game, I’ll find a way to say it on Twitter. That [bleep] fourth Chaos Emerald – argh! [bleep] fourth Chaos Emerald! …Curse you, SEGA.

Sonic: Sorry, Shadow, but this was the only way the ESRB would let us continue. Thanks for understanding.

~ #29 ~

Sonic: Sam’s Procrastination Station asks, “Hey, @sonic_hedgehog, do you mind finally explaining to the general audience why you’re in a car in games like Team Sonic Racing? People still ask this question for some reason, so I think this is the perfect time to address it.”

Tails: Oh, that’s an easy one! He’s in a car in Team Sonic Racing because—

Sonic: Because if I was on foot, I’d win instantly. Exactly, Tails!

Tails: Aww, I wanted to answer that one, Sonic!

Shadow: Hold on a second. If you were on foot, you’d still lose just as badly to me, Sonic.

Tails: Hey, I can run too. Doesn’t anyone remember Sonic R on the Saturn?

Eggman: The car makes things even, Sam. But let’s be honest, even in Sonic R, I’m still the best racer by far. Thanks for the question!

~ #30 ~

Eggman: snowcanine asks, “If you guys could change one thing about yourselves, what would it be?”

Sonic: Good question! I’d like to be able to know exactly where the Chaos Emeralds were at any time. Would make stopping Eggman much easier.

Tails: I’d like to be able to keep flying without ever getting tired.

Eggman: I’d get rid of that silly sense of mercy that keeps stopping me from ever finally defeating Sonic. It’s just a weakness, really.

Shadow: I wouldn’t change a thing. Our mistakes make us who we are, and I’m comfortable with my identity.

Sonic: Yeah, I feel like Shadow’s answers are either the most depressing or the most inspiring, depending on the question. Thanks, snowcanine!

~ #31 ~

Tails: Barry Kramer asks, “You guys are in the business of moving quickly. What’s the best way to keep your shoes on? Laces, hook-and-loop fasteners, or, uh, other? Thanks.”

Sonic: Good question, Barry! Personally, I’m all about the buckle. Had it since the classic days.

Shadow: Other. I don’t really need a buckle. My shoes were specially designed and fit my feet perfectly, no matter how fast I’m going.

Tails: I actually don’t use one either! But I totally modified my shoes a bit so they’re a perfect fit too.

Eggman: I, um…I don’t do much running. A genius like me can conquer the world from the comfort of his own chair!

Sonic: Well, thanks for the question, Barry! And hope your next project comes out amazing.

~ #32 ~

Shadow: LTDork asks, “Sonic has become pretty notorious for his terrible taste in puns. Are there any specific jokes you guys like?”

Sonic: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Now, hang on, terrible taste in puns? That’s not entirely true—

Tails: But what about the games, Sonic? It’s definitely kinda true there.

Sonic: Yeah, but those are totally different writers! I’ve got a script to follow! Twitter Takeovers are way easier because I can just…be myself.

Eggman: I’d just like to add that I appreciate all of my writers, no matter the script. Please keep casting me as the villain!

Shadow: Suckup.

~ #33 ~

Shadow: Elsie Fisher asks, “Why do you guys always wear gloves? What are you hiding?”

Eggman: Uh, hands, mostly.

Tails: Hey, Sonic, have you ever tried taking off your gloves?

Sonic: What? No, why would I? They’re super comfy.

Tails: I dunno, like…for science and stuff?

Sonic: Huh. Well, all right, let’s see if I can— [grunting] Huh. Wow. That thing is – yeah, it’s really stuck on there.

Tails: Wait, Sonic. Rrrgh… My gloves won’t come off either!

Sonic: But Tails, what if I have, like, creepy blue hands under these!?

Tails: Uh…

Shadow: Would you both stop panicking? Elsie Fisher, thanks for your question, but we wear gloves because they’re comfortable and cool, and there’s absolutely nothing hidden underneath. …wait, wait. Can she – can she see that I’m winking right now, or is that not going through?

~ #34 ~

Tails: RubberNinja asks, “On a downward incline, would Eggman’s top speed while rolling surpass Sonic?”

Shadow: Wait a minute. That’s Ross. He’s one of the Grumpy Guys or whatever they call themselves. I was a grumpy guy before it was cool.

Sonic: The Game Grumps, Shadow. But this one’s easy, so I’ll answer it. There is absolutely no way I’d lose to Eggman at anything. Especially a speed competition.

Eggman: Hold on, hold on. Let’s think about this scientifically. From a momentum perspective, since I weigh more than you, I would almost certainly eventually—

Shadow: But your body is clearly not built for spin-dashing, Doctor. I don’t think you’d have nearly as smooth of a roll downward.

Eggman: Oh, no, no, we can just do the math here, let’s see. On a downward incline, assuming Sonic begins with a spin dash—

Tails: And also assuming Eggman has no bones to slow him down—

Eggman: Wait, what?

Tails: Eggman would eventually pass Sonic after roughly 7.8 miles.

Eggman: Hold on a minute, what was that about no bones?

Shadow: Well, there you have it, Ross of the Grumpy Grumps. That’s just science.

~ #35 ~

Tails: Chris Scullion asks, “Do ghosts and spirits of our deceased loved ones exist, or are they merely mental projections constructed in our own minds as a coping mechanism, as knowing they still have some presence (albeit a merely etherial one) gives some comfort?”

Shadow: Don’t worry, I got this one. Yes.

~ #36 ~

Sonic: SakataLouis asks, “Can you all say Happy Birthday to my little brother Diego? He’s seven years old today and he really likes you guys, especially Shadow.”

Tails: Aww, that’s adorable! Yeah, we can do that!

All: “Happy Birthday to my little brother Diego. He’s seven years old today and he really likes you guys, especially Shadow.”

Shadow: To Diego, one of my ultimate fans, happy seventh birthday.

Eggman: Thanks for being a good brother, SakataLouis.

~ #37 ~

Tails: Ooh, listen to this one, guys! From Lisamellow1, “An innocent question for Sonic, if he doesn’t mind. I’ve read in a book that it is confirmed by the Sonic Team that Sonic has feelings for Amy, but he’s too nervous to admit it! So, is that true? Also, have this very quick doodle of Amy I made.”

Eggman: Oh my. Is that true, Sonic?

Sonic: Whoa, what, what? A-Amy? Why are you guys asking me this all of the sudden?

Tails: Hey, the fans just wanna know! And you did say they could ask you anything…

Sonic: Yeah, but, well – listen, I don’t really feel comfortable talking about that on Twitter right—

Shadow: Are you afraid, Sonic? Are you running away from your feelings now, too?

Sonic: I just really don’t want to – I’ll be right back!

Tails: …Wow, he’s not normally like that. Well, one thing’s for sure now, the Sonamy fans are gonna go nuts.

~ #38 ~

Tails: theminemanner2 asks, “Doctor Eggman, how long did it take you to come up with the plan of luring Sonic and company into a false sense of security by joining the Twitter Takeover?”

Eggman: Good question, minemanner. Let’s see, how long has it been now…approximately six hours. Surprise, Sonic!

Tails: Oh, if you’re talking about the traps you placed, i already disarmed all of those.

Eggman: What?

Shadow: And the robots you were trying to hide above us were all destroyed when I used Chaos Blast earlier.

Eggman: H-how?

Sonic: And we totally had Knuckles trash your lair while you were doing this. Actually, this was just a plan to get you away from your base, Eggman.

Eggman: Are you kidding me? No! This is not okay! Rrrrrgh…

Sonic: Well, all’s well that ends well! Let’s keep the questions going.

~ #39 ~

Sonic: All right, here’s one! BluSlashed asks, “Who’s the best driver between all of you? You can only choose one.”

Shadow: Is that really a question? It’s well-known that I’m the best driver in this room.

Eggman: Oh no you aren’t, Shadow! You may be fast, but I could outsmart you any day.

Sonic: Ha, didn’t any of you guys watch “Team Sonic Racing: Overdrive”? Tails and I clearly won because we worked together.

Tails: Yeah, it’s all about the real superpower of teamwork!

Shadow: I was winning. You were all slow and had to rely on that Team Ultimate to save you.

Eggman: You know, it’s strange, but I really don’t have much recollection of what happened after that race.

Tails: Oh, uh, yeah, that’s, uh…probably for the best.

Sonic: Should we tell him?

Tails: No way!

~ #40 ~

Shadow: egoraptor asks, “Sonic, have you and Tails just straight-up forgotten how evil Robotnik is? I find it very disturbing to see y'all pal around with this joker.”

Sonic: Y'know, it’s a fair point that Eggman is pretty evil sometimes.

Tails: And he has tried to ruin our lives on multiple occasions.

Shadow: And risked the lives of the entire planet.

Sonic: But he’s more like…a lovable kind of bad guy, you know? There’s just something about him. Well, that and he just shows up uninvited all the time.

Eggman: Dear Arin Hanson, interesting question. I see you’ve chosen poorly when it comes to selecting your allies. I’ll be in touch. Very soon.

Everyone else: Dun-dun-dunnn!

~ #41 ~

Eggman: Caddicarus asks, “So hey, @Sonic_Hedgehog! Why do you collect rings when an anagram of your name is 'coins’?”

Sonic: They’re rings! Way bigger, way better, and you can throw them over your arm, too.

Shadow: Who would even collect coins, anyway?

Tails: All sorts of people, Shadow! I mean, there are people in the street, coin collectors, and that one plumber guy we ran into, y'know.

Sonic: In my humble opinion, Caddicarus, gold rings are way better than coins, and a much better investment, too.

~ #42 ~

Tails: Whew, I had no idea there’d be so many questions coming our way!

Eggman: Well, buckle up, fox boy, it’s normal. I’ve done this for years, trust me.

Shadow: Don’t worry. Eggman’s just upset because we’ve got more questions than he did.

Sonic: Guys, there’s even more questions still coming in, but I think time’s up.

Tails: Well, we’ve gotta stop somewhere. Thank you all so much for sharing your questions with us today, and for inviting me to join in!

Eggman: As always, a huge thank you to my adoring fans.

Shadow: And to the supporters of the world’s greatest hedgehog.

Sonic: Aw, you shouldn’t have, Shadow.

Shadow: No, no. I meant me.

Sonic: Oh. Well. That’s typical.

Eggman: So, what about all the people whose questions we didn’t get to answer? We have to come back for a fifth Takeover someday, right?

Sonic: Whoa! I mean, guys, we just finished the fourth!

Tails: Yeah! And let’s invite someone else next time, too! Like Rouge, or Big, or Amy – oh, maybe Cream—

Sonic: Nononono, uh, Tails, listen—

Shadow: From all of this in this cramped little room, please accept our appreciation for hanging out with us today.

Sonic: Yeah. Thanks, everyone!

Tails: Thank you!

Eggman: 'Til next time!

Shadow: Chaos Control!

#sonic twitter takeover #sonic twitter takeover 4 #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic twitter takeover transcription #hehe 42 questions #this transcription helped me so much #I couldnt let it get lost!#i cant live without it now

31 notes · View notes

aleapoffaithfiction · 5 years ago

Text

III.

"But the second she opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew. She was either going to be the death of me . . . or she was going to be the one who finally brought me back to life." ― Colleen Hoover

“Aye.”

The lids of my eyes slightly closed at the call for my attention and yet my eyes never peered away from the television screen as it illuminated the living room far more than the sunlight slightly peering beyond the curtains covering the windows. While slightly shifting to further my comfort, I leaned forward to adjust the bag filled with ice covering my ankle and lightly ran my hand over Mowgli’s head before leaving him to lazily lie beside me as he always does whenever I’m lounging around somewhere downstairs. Much like our usual unhealthy evening routine, while he lay there in solace, I popped a couple of Gushers into my mouth and cured my typical candy craving.

“Aye.”

“What?” My mumbled response surely wasn’t loud enough for anyone to hear but it’s whatever.

In the midst of the three men on the screen is by far the most intriguing being walking the planet. I can easily admit that I have not been everywhere nor have I experienced every good thing that this planet has to offer but I’m willing to bet on everything I know and have that I’m accurate in what I believe and have observed ever since I laid my eyes on her. A small smirk tugged along my lips as her eyes lit up and a fit of giggles erupted from her petite frame as Chad Johnson randomly tossed in his own hot take about why Lebron should have never left Miami, Chad’s native. They’ve been debating back and forth for over ten minutes about the ongoing James versus Irving tension that has lit the NBA and media worlds on fire.

On one end of the panel you have Kobe advocating for the hunger of leadership and the ability to withdraw from the immense shadow of the well-known king and then there’s Chad is who is standing with Lebron and deeming Kyrie’s antics to be a cry for attention that he may regret later on down the line. To the left of Sarai, there’s Scott, a heavy Lebron critic who will find any reason to rip the man to shreds, and today is certainly no different. He’s already assured in Kyrie winning a championship in Boston before Lebron wins another without him in Cleveland, which is a trash ass perspective because when it’s all said and done, Lebron is still Lebron. Sarai, per her usual, kept a balanced stance about the entire situation. Much like myself, she could see both sides of the issues between the men and thought it was best that the two did part ways despite the magic of the 2016 NBA Finals.

I’ve been tuning into the show since its beginning. I found out about it while skimming through my Twitter timeline and was instantly sold as soon as I read both Kobe and Chad’s names. As for Sarai, I’d only seen her name at the end of a couple of Sports Illustrated articles and though I didn’t physically see her, I know she was around when I shot for the ESPN Body Issue because I heard her name being mentioned throughout the hallways. It wasn’t until the first day of the show that I was able to put a face to the name that I hadn’t forgotten for whatever reason and within that very moment it felt like all of my organs halted their functioning for just a brief second. I stopped talking, stopped moving, and finally stopped breathing.

As she sat there with her back pressed against the upper portion of the chair, her fingers nervously toyed with the pen resting on top of the paper filled with the discussion topics for their first episode. Along her lips was a nervous smile and her eyes panned back and forth in a manner that could easily inform the viewers of just how overwhelmed she was. It didn’t seem to be the presence of men that overpowered and mentally belittled her, but instead the stature of the men who surrounded her. Despite being quite established in journalism, she was sitting among a five-time NBA champion, a six-time Pro Bowl and three-time First Team appearing NFL player, and a Harvard Graduate School journalist who came over to ESPN from Fox Sports. I’m sure she was wondering how would she ever be able to compete with that and just as I expected, it only took her a few days to figure it out; three days to be exact. By Thursday, she was on fire with every single perspective she brought to the table and had no issue going toe to toe with whoever challenged her. Most would say it wasn’t until she spoke up for me that she became the commodity on the show, but I beg to differ. She’d already taken that title by their second week running.

“Tud!”

Her poise is so alluring and she has this infectious giggle that instantly weakens your knees upon hearing it. I’m not sure what kind of skin care routine it takes in order for her milk chocolate skin to illuminate in the manner that it does, but I have to assume that it has to be God given rather than something that anyone has bottled up to be sold on shelves. I’ve encountered more women that I can count in passing and sometimes through simple introductions or interactions and none of them have come close to what I make sure I am able to see Monday through Friday whether I’m at home to watch it or not. Beautiful is too simple to describe her appearance. Intoxicating is beneath all that her aura is. I’ve never been so in awe at any point of my life thus far. I’ve never felt so small, so unworthy.

“Tud!”

“What?” My head finally snapped in the direction of Ben’s voice and he instantly sucked his teeth as he stood in the entry way of the living room.

“I been calling your deaf ass for twenty minutes and now I realize you ain’t been answering me because you deaf. You been mute as fuck because you’re in here about to fuck up your shorts over Sarai.”

“Shut the fuck up. Why you so loud anyway?”

“Because I been calling yo ass for twenty minutes. You staying here? Me and Kav about to head out and fuck the city up. We gon’ find somewhere to eat and then probably hit up that Future party at 1Oak. Get off the couch and come on.” As good as it sounds, I’m not in much of a partying mood and the last thing I need is to be photographed inside of a club after having sat out in our first game of the season against the Cowboys due to my ankle fucking with me from a slight injury during the preseason and then Monday night’s struggle and loss against the Lions. Even with my limited playing time and Engram’s momentum, our offensive line just couldn’t hold tight against their defense and an 88-yard punt return touchdown eventually sealed that loss for us. I’m not stressing about being down two games because we’ve been here before, but we definitely need to make some transitions and really get things going. I think we’ll be ready for Philly come Sunday.

“Nah, ya’ll got it. I’ll be alright right here. I’ma just chill with the dogs, watch a movie probably, and get momma to make some turkey chili.”

“You sound like an old ass man right now. Who the fuck sits on the couch with their dogs and eats turkey chili on a Friday? You depressed? I know yo ankle ain’t hurting that damn bad. You was on fire at rehab today.”

“I just feel like chilling, honestly.”

“Or you just feel like watching The Sports Haven, because you damn sure ain’t putting on no movie. She doesn’t want you dawg.” Ben’s laughter caused Mowgli to lift his head and the both of us stared at him as he amused himself.

“Who said that I want her?”

“Oh, you don’t have to say it nigga. We know. Everybody knows. The day you did the interview, all people could talk about is the way you were looking at her. You had dudes feeling some type of way because they swear they have claim on that lady and then you had chicks shocked as fuck because they swear you only dip in the snow. You ain’t the first one though. The way ya’ll balling ass niggas drool over her has become a running joke and now you’re officially apart of that collage of videos they put together of it. I was laughing at that shit the other day. I meant to send it to you.” He didn’t have to send it to me because I’ve already seen it. I’ve seen it a couple of times before I was included in it and it absolutely does contain footage of athletes from a bunch of different sports ogling, damn near drooling, and fumbling over their words while speaking with her or sitting up there at that panel. What makes it hilarious isn’t them, it’s her. All of it goes right over her head. I’ve yet to see her flinch or even slightly entertain any of it.

“You stay over exaggerating shit.”

“I ain’t over exaggerating a motherfucking thing. Ain’t she fucking with Big Sean?” No. I asked him while out in L.A. two months ago. A photograph of the two of them at a party began circulating the internet and rumors immediately followed and though the both of them denied any connection through tweets, I still asked him during a casual conversation. I had to know. He didn’t deny that he tried to shoot his shot, but it was an air ball. She laughed off his flirtation and instantly acquaintance zoned him.

“Nah.”

“How you know?”

“I asked him.” I could have lied to get him off of my back, but for what?

“Look at you snooping around in her business. Why you trying to scare niggas off? That’s not yo girl. You trying to block every shot that’s coming her way meanwhile you don’t even have her number. You a fucking fool.” Now that? I’m not confirming it. I’ll never hear the end of it if I mention anything about her number being in my phone. I’m sure it could earn me some points with my boys but I’m not seeking that kind of validation and besides, I finessed the whole situation. It’s not like I flat out asked for it, so those points would be in the negatives.

“I'm not trying to block shit.”

“You are though, but it’s cool. When she rejects yo ass, you’ll finally get it. How you know she ain’t married? Sean might not be her man but somebody else may be occupying that spot and you trying to plot on a happy home. She looks like the married type too. She probably married to some rich ass white dude with her bougie ass. You see the way Scott’s Squidward in the face looking ass be looking at her?”

“She never wears a ring on her finger.” I observed that a long time ago. “And you don’t even know her so how are you calling her bougie? You speaking on some shit that you don’t know about.”

“Aight nigga. I’ma leave you alone with that situation. You ain’t getting her so you better scroll through those hundreds of numbers you have and call up one of your typical flavors of the week or month. You don’t even commit and yet you trying to add Sarai Nazaire to your roller deck of women. You a dog fam.”

If we were talking about anybody else, I would have laughed that off and shrugged at the partial truthfulness. I’ve been in a few relationships and I sometime handle urges in certain ways that could easily depict me as the embodiment of a fuck boy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s who I am. It’s not. Ever since my LSU days, my pop would always tell me to just live my life and not to commit myself to anything other than football and the books because life would be easier that way. I’ve lived in-between trying to gain some perspective and experience and living that lifestyle ever since. It’s no secret that my profession comes with women consistently flocking in my direction, willing to do whatever is necessary for the sake of some type of time with me.

Temptation is a bitch and she’s gotten the best of me on numerous occasions. I can’t say that I’m proud of it but I’ve never felt the need to kick myself in the ass over it either. Surprisingly, neither has my mother. Despite my vague responses when she asks about my behavior with women, she knows what’s going down and never fails to secretly store boxes of condoms in my bedroom drawers and bags whenever I’m traveling out of town. Then there are the talks when she warns me that though it is known for women to be swept off of their feet, there will eventually come a time when a woman will do the same exact thing to me. It’ll be mutual and despite any resistance, I won’t be able to escape the feeling. What’s for me will be for me and love will fall right in line with that, so she claims. I laughed it off all throughout my teen years but as I’m reaching my mid-twenties, there seems to be a truth to it.

“Are you done? Can I get back to the show now?”

“Been done. I’ll be back and I’m sure you’ll be right here on the couch, rewinding this shit back when I do get here.”

“Fuck you.”

His obnoxious laughter filled the halls as he trekked through them and I pressed play on the episode once again. I hadn’t expected the segment to transition to me but it did. Everyone’s been discussing what I’d be contributing to my team this year since I’m so “injury prone”. My rookie year, I missed the entire preseason and the first couple of games of the regular season with hamstring issues that stemmed all the way back to a back injury at LSU. From there, I’ve had some issues on and off with it but nothing too major. The ankle situation I’m going through right now is minor. I’m not necessarily one hundred percent, but I’m solid enough to play.

Surprisingly, no one had much criticism about any of it other than Scott. He questioned the Giants’ offensive dependency on me and made an argument that they needed to draft someone to supposedly pick up my slack, but that was interjected by Sarai who bluntly told him that players get injured, it’s all a part of the game. Yet again, my stats were her focal point and as she’s been emphasizing, when I’m on the field the energy and the numbers reflect that and when I’m not, the team greatly suffers. What was left in question for her was the severity of what this slight injury is. She claimed to have watched my postgame interview after our loss to the Lions and hoped that I hadn’t downplayed anything simply so I’d be able to play.

“Scott, you’re not making any sense. The man is the first player in NFL history with eighty or more catches and a thousand or more receiving yards in each of his first three NFL seasons. When he is on and off the field, it’s felt by the team and their spectators. We all know this.” Her smirk filled my core with faint fluttering. Shit.

I’m alright. The sprain is in much better shape now. The training staff wanted me to give it some more time, so I sat out the first game. The Lions game could have been better, but I still felt solid enough. I’m good for Sunday though.

A number of reporters have my direct number in case they want to verify information or may want a quote about a specific story that’s circulating about me. If Sarai wants, she could do the same as well. I don’t have much of an issue allowing her to know whatever it is that she needs to know.

Maybe it’s just me but I still find that by low hit by Boddy-Calhoun super dirty. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling alright.

A lot of people feel the way she does. I watched the replay and I can’t call it. It was a tough play for a defensive back and I’ll just leave it at that. While it did piss me off within those few seconds after the fact, I left the anger right there on the field.

Lol It’s all good. Am I seeing you Sunday?

This is the first time I’ve been anxious for someone to see me play in person since my family, when I suited up to play in my first official Giants game. Though I won’t actually see her watching everything, just knowing that she’s within the stadium experiencing the excitement of the game amongst the wild fans will easily put a smile on my face. I’d like for her to be able to see that I want to live up to every moment when she’s spoken highly of me.

I’m going to try to make it.

Try? That’s a less than fifty percent chance that she’s coming.

Try sounds like you won’t come. I’m sulking now.

Is it weird that I actually am? I’m sure the disappointment the day off will feel worse if I don’t see her face.

Lol you’re funny Beckham. At least I said I’d try rather than flat out saying that I won’t.

I’m persistent. I hate maybes or possibilities. I’m all about making shit happen.

Or you can say that you will. That ticket comes with a pass for one of the luxury suites in the stadium, so you have the option of being out there in the mist of the madness or being tucked away from it. You have a VIP parking pass too, so there’s no need to go insane looking for parking. There’ll be appetizers, snacks, and drinks too.

I had to pull a lot of finesse for that. Tickets to the game aren’t difficult to get but VIP perks in another team’s home stadium isn’t easy to come by. It’s always helpful to know people who knows people and so on. I just want to make sure she’s comfortable.

You’re really selling it. It all sounds pretty convincing though. You know, I easily could have shown up with a media pass.

She could have. Her ESPN credentials most likely work all over the place.

True, but then you wouldn’t be my guest of honor and I’d prefer it that way instead. It’s the least I could do after all that you’ve done for me.

With her love of sports, I figured she’d prefer that over some flowers of thanks that’ll eventually die or some materialistic possession that may lose value within her life at some point. There’s nothing wrong with flowers, I’d send them in a heartbeat, but memories never die. They’re the foundation to our experiences and everything that we stand for.

I’ll be there Beckham. The jersey is debatable but I’ll be there. Thank you for the invitation and all that you’ve included with it.

The bag of ice slipped onto the floor as I quickly sat up and read over her message once more. I couldn’t help but to stand up and pace the floor. Shit. Now I really have to ball out.

I’m glad to hear that and you’re welcome. See you then.

Wait, how the fuck are we going to see one another? That’s the part that I’ve yet to figure out. I need to do that quickly.

Rest up that ankle, Beckham. Enjoy your weekend.

We’re riding by chartered bus out to Philly since it’s only about two hours out from East Rutherford and we’ll return the same way. Maybe I could invite her out to dinner after the fact? Nothing fancy, just somewhere cool. Maybe it does need to be fancy? I’m not sure if I should say date, because she’d never go out on a date with me in the first place. I can just call it us grabbing some food. Then again, I did say that there’s going to be food at the stadium so she might be full. Shit.

“O! Sweetie, are you here?”

My mother’s light voice filled the foyer as she closed the door behind herself and I could tear the tussling of bags as she further her way inside of the house. She’s now in the middle of the second week of her two weeks stay and should be heading back to Louisiana after the Eagles game. We’ve had a few conversations about both she, my step-pops, and my little sister potentially relocating up here but we’ve summed it up to it not being necessary. They visit enough and I visit home enough, so there’s no need to leave all that they know on my behalf though I’m honored that they would do it in a heartbeat. Her check ins to make sure all is running smoothly on the business side of things and that I’m physically and mentally alright are always appreciated. It’s the perfect balance of her being able to happily function within her motherhood while also allowing me to be an adult. Jazzy has school, so she couldn’t make the trip, but Thanksgiving is around the corner. I’m sure before the ending of November comes, she’ll get up here to hang out with me for a weekend.

“I am. I’m coming to help you.” I relieved her of the grocery bags that I’m sure are filled with far more healthier items that I typically ever eat. My junk cabinet is more impressive than what’s in the refrigerator. I can whip up an amazing bowl of chicken Ramen though. It’s my specialty. I even get fancy and put an egg in there from time to time. Then you throw some of that green shit on top. What is it? Basil? Cilantro? Whatever it is.

“What do you want for dinner? I figured I’d whip something up while I’m here. You’re going out right? When you get back, you’ll have something real to eat and won’t have to survive off of sour straws and Oreos.”

“Chili. You know I like it when you make it spicy too. Oh, and some cornbread with it. Can’t have chili without cornbread. I’m kicking it here by the way.”

“Chili is so much better than you saying gumbo, because Lord knows, if you did, I would have handed you a takeout menu and wished you the best.” Our laughter was nearly identical. I’m all for some southern comfort food, especially because I don’t get it much up here, but I’ll be fair. The next time she’s here, the gumbo is happening though.

“Nah, I have a taste for the chili.”

“I’ll make a big pot, that way you’ll have it to enjoy over the weekend. I’m going to make something on Sunday before heading to Philadelphia for the game. That way it’ll be out of the way and I won’t have to worry about doing anything before my flight Monday morning. I’ll make enough for you to have a decent amount of leftovers after you dig in on Sunday. How are you feeling? Are you ready?”

“I was born ready. I feel good. Rehab was good. The trainers said I’m in good shape, so I’m ready to play. You know I’ll always play and sometimes, that’s even with discomfort.”

“Which isn’t good, but I’m glad you’re feeling good now.” My mind transitioned through a thousand thoughts as my stomach did backflips in the midst of my contemplating if I should tell her about the invitation to Sarai or not. It’s not like I have much of a choice. They’re going to encounter and be near one another. I could never play it off as a mere coincidence after the fact. Shit, Ben won’t let me either way.

“I invited Sarai Nazaire to the game.” And just like that, both of her eyebrows flew up in surprise and her elbows met the surface of the island as she leaned in to get a good look at me. Her face held a mixture of amusement and warmth. The hue of her skin slightly picked up a faint pink shade once a chuckle spilled from her lips.

“Did you? So that’s why you visited her dressing room after the interview? I thought those tickets were for some sort of an ESPN fan giveaway or something of that nature.”

“No, they were for her. I figured I’d invite her simply as a thank you.”

“Is that all it is?” She folded her hands as those eyebrows flew up yet again. “Just a thank you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why are you so nervous? You know, I’ve been waiting for a moment like this. Ever since you were a kid, you always played it super cool when it came to the girls. Even the little girlfriends that I met here and there, you kept cool about. Sarai Nazaire? Her name rolls off of your tongue like she’s a goddess. Your eyes literally just lit up at the sound of it. Oh my God.” Her laughter intensified my nervousness and I instantly ran my hand down my face to gain some sort of control over my expressions.

“No, they didn’t.”

“Yes, they did. You have it bad, son. You have a love jones for Sarai, huh?”

“A love jones? What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not in love.”

“I never said that you were. I said a love jones. Watch the movie.”

“I just think she’s cool momma. I can’t think that?”

“Cool? Jazzy and I think she’s cool, but you, not so much. You think she’s far more than that.”

“Are you going to tease me the entire time I’m standing here? I just wanted to let you know so it won’t be a surprise or anything. Maybe you can make sure she’s cool and stuff? You know, with the accommodations. She may bring a guest.”

“I can do that. Is there anything else you may want me to do or say?” Her mocking tone was my cue to go. She can have those moments when she says little things to playfully embarrass me but she can’t do it on Sunday. If God is on my side, she won’t do it.

“Momma.”

“Okay, okay, okay. I’ll be on my best behavior. As a reflection of my oh so amazing son, I’ll make sure your guest is well taken care of. I mean, after all, I need to make a good impression on her too since she’s going to be around.”

“Who said all of that?” See? That’s what I mean. She’s assuming.

“Your actions.”

“It’s just an invitation of thanks.”

“You already said thank you. You told her that you want to make her proud directly to her face. That’s another thank you. The jersey? A third thank you. The game? A move to begin to court her.”

“You’ll call me when the chili is ready? Cool? Aight, Cool.”

What is with mothers and the third eye situation? I’m a momma’s boy to the core. The sacrifices my mother made to make sure that I was solid in life will never go without every aspect of thanks that I can give her, but in the midst of that, we’ve become like best friends and it’s allowed her to know and be able to read me too well. I can’t slip anything past her no matter how hard I try to. She figures shit out without even being here and a phone call immediately follows; sometimes it’s a flight. Her warnings about women have never come with a leash, because she’s always told me that it’s my life to live but it doesn’t mean that she won’t inform me about whether someone is bad news for me or not. We’ve had our fair share of conversations about particular women, especially over the course of this past summer but even then, I didn’t feel so exposed as I do now. Maybe because there wasn’t anything to expose, at least not emotionally.

I chose to relax in the theater room while awaiting the chili and after scrolling through Netflix and then eventually Amazon Prime Video, I gave in to the curiosity I’d been fighting and decided to check out this Love Jones movie momma mentioned. Given that Larenz Tate and Nia Long are pure talent within their craft, I figured it couldn’t be too bad of a watch despite me not being much of a romance film guy. Putting the love, sex, and romance aspect aside, which is all throughout the film, the most interesting and relative part about the film may have to be the reality of two young people trying to figure out themselves and their journey because I, for sure, am in that place within my own life. I may have the career side of things secured, though it comes with its ups and downs, but as far as everything else? I’m just coasting, fucking up occasionally, and learning as I navigate along. There are aspects of Darius within me and every other young man out here.

“Oh, I see you decided to check it out. How are you liking it?” My attention left Nina’s poem and I shrugged.

“It’s decent.” That’s all I can give it but I’m sure women love the hell out of this film.

“Mhm. The chili’s cooking. I just popped the cornbread in the oven. When it’s ready, I’ll serve you.”

“Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite person ever?”

“Only about a million times and especially when you’re trying to bribe me out of something. Enjoy your movie.”

A happy ending after a roller coaster ride of mixed emotions, complications, and setbacks. I guess it makes sense, given if it’s what you really want. If you walk away, did you really want it in the first place? That’s subjective, but in the case of Darius and Nina, the question stands. I guess their love really was “urgent as a motherfucker”.

What are you doing?

I pulled my lip in-between my teeth and internally cringed at the message I sent to Sarai. Since when are we so casual? I hate that I had to do it. I should have never watched that movie in the first place.

Her reply came my way twenty minutes later. Maybe she’s busy.

Beckham. Lol My life is not that interesting. I doubt you’d want to know.

But you’re the most intriguing human on the planet. How don’t you know it?

Try me.

Maybe she’s with her man and I’m interrupting. I pray she doesn’t say that. I’d rather not know.

In bed, watching Remember the Titans with a jar of Talenti gelato. It’s the beginning of a weekend that will consist of exactly what I’m doing. See? Uninteresting. What club are you heading to tonight? 1oak? Marquee? Lavo?

Hm. She thinks I party a lot. I can’t deny how much I hang out during the off season. L.A. is usually my playground.

Club home theater. I’m chilling with my dogs and scrolling through a couple of apps for movies or a good TV show to binge. Momma making chili for dinner. Just finished Love Jones.

Maybe I’ll check out that Game of Thrones shit that everyone loves. Actually, nah. I’m going to catch up on Power.

You? You watched Love Jones? I’m uh..shocked? lol

Shit, me too.

Momma suggested it. It was a good watch, I guess. Remember the Titans is a better one. We Are Marshall is another good football film. Check it out if you haven’t seen it. What’s your favorite Love Jones quote?

Fuck, I’m corny. I couldn’t help but to laugh at myself after asking that.

My favorite quote? Hmm. I guess it would be: “It’s funny what you can do in front of a room full of people that you can’t even seem to do in front of one person.” That one has always stuck with me. Goodnight Beckham.

I almost tossed my phone into the seat beside me but I couldn’t fight the urge yet again.

You didn’t ask for my favorite quote.

Not necessary and yet, necessary.

And that is?

Only three lines within the film really stuck with me. Out of the three, one seemed to resonate the most.

“One truism in my life, my friend, when that jones come down, it be a motherfucker.” Goodnight Sarai Nazaire.

A motherfucker for sure.

#fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #odell beckham jr fanfic #odell beckham fanfic

27 notes · View notes

abunchofbadchoices · 6 years ago

Text

Michael's Song

HSS Michael x MC (Jordan) in Midnight Sun AU

*Disclaimer: Most of the lines and scenes I got from the movie the Midnight Sun and all the rights belongs to the creators and writers, as well as the characters from PB. This is merely a converted fan fiction*

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Part Five

"That is so romantic it disgusts me." Maria mumbled from Jordan's bed, facing the ceiling with the book covering her face. She sits up suddenly, having been reminded of something. "What did he say about your XP?"

Jordan looks hopeless. The blonde had been sitting on the swivel chair this time, staring at the distance as she bites her lip to stop from smiling too much. The girl managed to respond after a few seconds, frowning. "It didn't came up."

Maria scowled. "What do you mean it didn't come up?"

"I-I didn't bring it up." Jordan shrugged. "I'm not gonna just randomly be like, 'Hey, dude, by the way, the sunlight's gonna..." She makes exploding gestures with her hands. "Like, look when you tell someone you're sick, then you start to become more like... a disease and less like a person. It's--"

She gazed at her pointedly.

"I'm gonna tell him, I promise, but I don't know when I'm gonna see him again."

"I do." Maria sighs in dismay, though she tried to hide it. "You know that annoying guy who works at the ice cream shop?"

"The nerdy one you're annoyed with? Well, scratch that, you're annoyed at everyone." Jordan rolls her eyes playfully, then points to herself. "Except for Jordan."

Her face feels like burning at the statement her best friend dropped. Does Jordan knows? Maria brushed it off and threw a pillow at Jordan. "Whatever, J. But yes, Aiden, his name. His parents-- a strict bunch, mind you-- are out of town tonight and he's throwing a party and he told me to bring friends. So, I'm gonna bring you--"

"No, no, no, no..."

"And you're gonna bring Michael."

"No!" Jordan stands, holding her hands up while shaking her head profusely. "He's gotta, like, you know... Doesn't... I have to wait till he texts me first, right?"

"Yeah, totally!" Maria smiles. Oh, Jordan, why are you so innocent... Usually, Maria wouldn't suggest such a forward move and what does she even know about dealing with a guy when she hadn't even get past her previous first dates but well, if it means putting this innocent bundle of dorkiness out of misery then hell yes, Maria will do something. She sits straighter, crossing her legs in a no-nonsense way and look at the girl with the most serious expression. "And then, you know, his squire will send a note via carrier pigeon asking if you'd like to merge your kingdoms. What is this, 18th century England? Listen, Jordan, you're a gorgeous, young, uh...badass woman. You're gonna text him whenever you damn well please."

The blonde stares at her. There is a blankness on her face.Maria dives through the pillows and locates a phone, then hands it to Jordan. "Be confident, okay? Give him the facts..."

"Okay." Jordan takes a deep breath and opens her message app. She follows Maria's instructions to be confident and... among other things.

Down at the town's shipyard, Michael hears the ping of his phone while he was in the midst of scrubbing the stains from the side of his uncle's boat. He wipes his hands on his shirt, which was already drench in sweat after working for hours on that boat under the blaring sky. There is a message from Jordan. Michael couldn't help the smirk on his lips.

Hey. My friend is having a party tonight if you want to come.

"Play a little hard to get." Maria whispers.

Jordan starts another message. "All right."

Michael receives another message before he can even type a reply.

I don't care if you come or not.

He raised his eyebrows.

Maria scoots closer to her. "Make sure that he knows he's not the only reason you're going."

"Okay. Alright."

Back at the shipyard, Michael receives the third message that made him laugh louder than he intended to.

I have lots of friends.

- Jordan

The messages stops coming so he takes that as a cue to answer back.

Maria took the phone from her best friend to see the messages she sent and instantly freezes as soon as she reads them. "Oh, no. What's this??"

Hey. My friend is having a party tonight if you want to come.

I don't care if you come or not.

I have lots of friends.

- Jordan

Maria doesn't know where to face palm or something, but before she dies of second-hand embarrassment, a new message came to Jordan's screen.

I'm in.

▪️▪️▪️

"This is gonna be a tame, safe, parent-friendly party." Maria called after Scott. Jordan has been trailing behind the two as they walk from the kitchen to the living room.

"Ha!" Her Dad turns as they reach the door. "It's a totally lame party. You know what we should do? We should stay here. We'll get Hunan Chinese. You guys love Hunan, right?"

She and Maria groaned.

"Put some Netflix on. It will be perfect!"

The three of them went on full circle around the house until finally, they ended up in the kitchen once more. Scott open the fridge to check for snacks. But Jordan reached out and pushes it close. She musters a determined look on her face. "Dad, you know I'm a good kid. You know I'm not gonna do anything crazy, but I swear, if I spend one more night here-- just listening to everyone else outside my window, living their lives-- I might... go... crazy!"

Scott knits his eyebrows, then look at Maria for back up but the raven-haired young woman simply shrugs.

Jordan continues. "Tomorrow night, we can order way too much chow mein, and have a movie marathon."

Her father's eyes move from her to Maria then back. Probably calculating the consequences before he lets out a heavy breath. "All right."

"Yes!" Jordan hugs her father tightly. "You're the best Dad in the world."

Maria gestured for her to follow and they rush upstairs to her room and the girl starts rippling through her clothes.

"Okay, um, Michael's gonna meet us at Aiden's around 8:00." Jordan reminded her.

"Then we have to get ready."

"Girl, what are you talking about? We have like three hours."

Maria suddenly turns and glare at her. She almost forgot her best friend has been Student Council President at Oliver Berry High for two years. She was all about organizing stuffs, especially parties. And Jordan knows better than to counter her when in the midst of looking for an appropriate attire for her. "Danielle Jordan Lee, we're already behind."

She watched helplessly, but after about ten minutes, Maria raised a light-blue lacy dress from her closet that she doesn't even know exists. Their eyes meets, then their faces lights up in agreement. Two hours and fifty minutes later, they are both dressed up and perfectly groomed for the night. Her father's expression as soon as she steps out of her room was priceless, but also a bit of longing in his eyes as Jordan was aware how much she resembles her late mother.

They said their goodbyes quickly and outside the door, Maria stops her and looks at her up and down. "You look beautiful. Good."

"Aren't you looking good yourself." Jordan smiles back, taking her best friend's hand then ran to the car already parked at the curb.

It was a short drive to the Zhou Family house and at exactly 8:00, the two girls are making their way up the decorated porch of the two storey house. For a party, Jordan finds it weird that the house seems quiet. Parties were never quiet, according to the teen flick movies she watched, but maybe this one haven't really started.

The door open just as they reached it, an Asian guy grinning at the sight of them both. "You came." His face falters soon after, looking at Maria nervously. "Is there any chance that you, or your hot friend, hey, know how to get beer... out of a keg?"

"Oh, no." Maria's smile dissolves. She shoves past the guy and looks even more furious to see the house is empty. "You didn't get a tap??"

Aiden scratch the back of his neck, following them inside. "I-- I didn't realize they were separate things-- why would they sell me a barrel of beer I can't even access?"

This party is a complete disaster, Maria fumed. She went to the kitchen and glances back to see Jordan touching the colorful decorations in awe. Aww, this sweet sweet girl... But still, Maria couldn't believe she entrusted Aiden to plan a party by himself. And worst, she actually showed up and dared to expect something good.

At the kitchen, they find two other people she recognized were from Music club at Berry High. Myra and Luis are busy tinkering the keg to open...to no avail. They glance up and waved awkwardly.

"AIDEN!" Maria called sharply. "What the hell? This is a tame, safe, parent-friendly party!"

Aiden backed away slowly. "Do tame parties have sundae bars?"

"I think it's cool." Jordan joins in, beaming excitedly.

"No, don't listen to her." Her best friend hissed at Aiden. "Okay, she's never been to a party before. She doesn't understand how dire the situation is. We gotta go, Jordan." Maria grab her hand and turns to go.

"No, no, no! I just made a huge thing of chili." Aiden reasoned.

"Aiden, chili is not a party food."

Their conversation was cut off by the sound of car engine shutting off and its door opening and closing.

"You see?" The Asian points outside. "The party's just kicking off."

They all rushed down the stairs to see who actually decided to show up. A blue pick-up truck was parked outside and a guy in a green bomber jacket is walking towards the house.

"What's Michael Harrison doing here?" Aiden wonders in disbelief.

"My God..." Maria rubs her face in frustration just as she felt someone came up behind her.

Michael stops for a second as soon as he caught sight of Jordan, a genuine smile lighting on his face and even blink a few times, as if he couldn't believe what he is looking at.

"Hi." Jordan greets, a bashful smile on her lips.

▪️▪️▪️

Another hour passed and the trio still hadn't managed to open the keg.

Michael and Jordan sits on porch chairs, just making small talks while Maria stays not far from them like a guarding hawk.

His eyes studies every detail of the beautiful face just inches away from him. "You look really amazing."

"Um... it's all Maria." Jordan said quietly, looking down on her lap and it makes him think that maybe, him acting weird makes her shy.

Michael isn't much into praising people, or voicing out opinions in general. Usually, he goes to a party, hang out with people regardless if they look good as long as they don't bother him too much. But he couldn't help it if she happens to look so amazing this night. Or every night for that matter. Whether Jordan is dressed in sweat pants or oversized clothes, or designer dress... She manages to make it all look really good.

"No... I don't think so." He whispers.

"For you, good sir!" Aiden's loud voice interrupts. The guy hands each of them some bowls.

Michael clears his throat and imitates the Asian's tone. "Ah. Thank you! Beef chili, huh?"

Jordan thanks him as well. She watch Maria taste the beef chili and almost burst out laughing at the disgusted look on her best friend's face. Feeling kinder, Michael scoops some mouthfuls and shoves it into his mouth. He makes a show of enjoying it. "That's top shelf, buddy. Really fresh."

He turns to Jordan with a sour face, forcing the chili down his throat. The blonde let out a quiet giggle.

Aiden takes a seat across from them. "You know, I really thought we'd have a big turnout but--"

"I told you not to go up against the cheerleader." Myra scolded from the corner.

"What cheerleader?" Maria asks.

Luis fixed his eyeglasses. "It's the mean blonde one with a convertible."

The girl rolls her eyes. "Giselle Collins? Ughhh."

Now that it was mentioned, Michael was indeed invited over by Giselle to her major graduation party which must have been tonight. He had completely forgotten about it as he was not really planning to go anywhere that night. That was, until he received the certain messages this afternoon.

"Yes." Aiden pouts. "She's having a party tonight as well. Must have dinged our turnout."

Michael puts down his bowl. "Do you guys wanna go there?"

To be continued...

▪️▪️▪️

Giselle's party coming next 😆😆

#playchoices #choices #high school story #hss #hss book 1 #hss book 2 #hss book 3 #maria flores #michael harrison #michael x mc #caleb mitchell #maria x mc #aiden zhou

5 notes · View notes

sterekloving · 7 years ago

Text

If you’re new to the fandom or just want something new to read or even reread an old classic, here’s the most popular and iconic fics in the fandom!

(Those with a * are my all time favourites - if you want me to do a personal fave ficrec, let me know!)

Alpha Spikes* - thestarbeast - 70k+ - Explicit

AU. Alphas are like royalty and are offered their choice of any age eighteen-and-up virgin Omega for each heat season, as a 'thank-you' for all they've done throughout the year. Derek is an Alpha and...yeah, Stiles. Stiles is an Omega. And still a virgin. In every way. And he's just turned eighteen. This...is not his day.

Bones Straining Under the Weight* - weathervaanes - 15k - Explicit

One of Stiles' favorite things about life is Derek Hale's food blog. He never expects to meet the man in person.

“Derek,” he says again, and the name feels very strange on his tongue.

“You don’t mean Derek Hale.”

His professor’s eyebrows reach up, eyes widening. “You read his blog?”

"Uh. Worship. Would be a better more descriptive word. That is Derek Hale?"

Jimmy chuckles. "Good-looking guy, huh?"

"You mean to tell me the Food Network hasn't snatched him up to dethrone everyone else from daytime TV."

Jimmy smiles a small private smile. "I don't think TV is his medium."

Stiles raises an eyebrow. "Shy?"

The man laughs heartily at that. "No, I wouldn't say that. He just has particular forms of expression, like eyebrows and chili powder."

By Any Other Name - entanglednow - 33k - Explicit

He doesn't know his name, he doesn't know who he is, and neither does the werewolf he's on the run with. But he's pretty sure they hunt monsters, because they seem to be really good at it.

Can’t Be Hateful, Gotta Be Grateful - HalfFizzbin - 6k - Teen

"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma." (Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)

Cornerstone* - Vendelin - 83k - Explicit

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

Cupboard Love - mklutz - 30k+ - General

He’s carefully balancing the sandwiches and the two biggest tupperware containers he could find that both had functioning lids when the front door opens and he almost drops everything right there in front of the stupid fountain. If that’s Derek Hale, he’s definitely not a mountain man.

Dating Backwards* - RemainNameless - 85k - Explicit

Pornstars Derek and Stiles work for the same company. Derek only shoots with werewolves and Stiles only shoots with humans. That's not going to change after they meet. It's really not. (It might.)

DILF* - twentysomething - 30k+ - Explicit

"Today is Scott's first day of kindergarten and Derek is terrified."

Divided We Stand* - KouriArashi - 100k+ - Mature

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn't expect and aren't sure they approve of....

Don’t Savage The Messenger* - exclamation - 172k - Explicit

There is an uneasy truce between the werewolves in the woods and the humans who live in Beacon Hills, protected by a magical boundary that gives warning any time a werewolf crosses it. Then the sheriff is taken by the werewolves and his son offers himself in exchange.

Stiles promises to serve the werewolf pack, not knowing what horrible use they might have for him. But it turns out his most useful skill is the ability to cross the boundary line between humans and werewolves. Life with the werewolves is nothing like he feared and the werewolves themselves are nothing like the hunters' stories would have him believe.

Don’t Worry Baby - kalpurna - 20k - Explicit

"You know you're allowed to ask for vanilla sex, right?" he says, afterwards. "We can do whatever you want. That's kind of the point." Derek doesn't respond.

Dude, Werewolves - mysecretashes - 29k - Explicit

Stiles gets partnered with Cora for a history project, and they become bros. Also, he kind of falls in love with her older brother, Derek.

Electricity In the Contact - ladyblahblah - 27k - Explicit

In which Derek has been invited to the Greater Pacific Northwest Alpha Symposium (that's not what it's called, Stiles, stop saying that), and showing up unattached would mean an arranged marriage. When the rest of the pack objects, he agrees to let Stiles come along to pose as his mate. Derek is reasonably sure that he's not going to make it out of this weekend alive.

Enemy Lines* - qhuinn - 149k - Explicit

This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves.

Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles.

Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.

Every Step You Take - Nokomis - 49k - Mature

Stiles accidentally ends up magically bound to Derek. It’s super.

Fireman Derek’s Crazy Pie (Cheeseburger Baby) - owlpostagain - 17k - Teen

“He can't blame me for the fact that I live in a building full of people united in the singular effort to ogle Hot Fireman as often as humanly possible." Laura laughs, loud and echoing in the empty restaurant.

"Hot firemen can make a girl do crazy things," she agrees, nodding towards her brother's name on the menu. "Derek won't let me date anyone from his company, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the eye candy."

"Send them my way," Stiles suggests, finally loading up a forkful of pie. "Apparently I'm incompetent enough that I need to be babysat at all times, because it would be cheaper than dispatching a truck every time I try to use a kitchen appliance."

Gravity’s Got Nothing on You* - zosofi - 83k - Explicit

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so… “How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

Hemingway Can Suck It - KuriKuri - 10k - Teen

“For those of you who just transferred into this class or simply decided that day one wasn’t important enough to attend, I’m Professor Hale. Welcome to English 346, The American Novel.”

Stiles is pretty sure his mouth is hanging open right now and that his eyes are wide with shock, because holy fuck, he thinks he knows why his students transferred. Hell, if he was still an undergrad, he probably would have transferred, too.

(Or: In which Stiles is a Biology professor and Derek thinks he's a student.)

Integral to Survival - asocialfauxpas - 8k - Mature

Derek is in the cell for about ten minutes before the lone door opens and a new body is tossed in. The person hits the floor with a grunt, rolls, and stands as the door is clanging shut. “That’s really not the way to treat a guest!”

Just Act Normal - zosofi - 70k+ - Explicit

If someone had told Stiles back in high school that he would be an Oscar winning actor by the time he turned 25, he would’ve probably told Scott to punch them. The thing is, though…they would’ve been right. Which makes returning to Beacon Hills, center of all that is supernatural and better left avoided, all the more awkward.

Kaleidoscope* - Vendelin - 50k+ - Explicit

Stiles spends a year before college working at the all-night coffee shop in town. It's nice and quiet, until one dark and brooding Derek starts coming in every morning, ordering coffee so strong that it should not be fit for human consumption. Ever. Stiles tries not to be affected by the mystery guy, but it's not like anything else happens around here, so really, what did you expect? And when he's already in too deep, he realises he might even be in way over his head...

Little Wild Animal* - DiscontentedWinter - 61k - Explicit

Derek Hale finds a feral human on his pack's property. Humans are supposed to be extinct. But then, Stiles is full of surprises.

Lock All The Doors Behind You - entanglednow - 25k+ - Mature

He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one.

Losers - stilinskisparkles - 30k+ - Explicit

Where Derek is new to college, eager to spend his time learning, and Stiles is everything he didn't want in a room mate. He's loud, he's into sports, and he keeps trying to make Derek do things. Or, the one where Derek falls for a jock, Erica will cut you if you disturb her studying, and Jackson is a closeted romantic who pretends to hate everything.

Move a Mountain* - ZainClaw - 69k - Explicit

Stiles goes camping with his friends in New Mexico after graduation where they befriend a biker gang led by Derek: a guy whom Stiles can’t decide if he will be either relieved or devastated to never see again once their week is up.

No Homo* - RemainNameless - 80k+ - Explicit

Stiles' sophomore year starts something like this: 3 FourLokos + 1 peer-pressuring cat - 1 best bro to end all best bros = 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads "str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic". Derek is the fool who replies.

Our Lives Are Changing Lanes* - grimm - 47k - Explicit

There's a lot of screaming going on inside the first house Stiles visits. He isn't really worried, because it sounds like kids, but then the door opens and hi, says his dick, because the dude in front of him is gorgeous, built like a god with a face like thunder. Stiles wants to lick that solid jaw line. Hold the fuck on, says his cop brain, because the dude's got kids hanging all over him; one's on his back, skinny legs looped around his waist, and another two hanging off one arm, toes barely brushing the ground. There's a tubby toddler clinging to his leg like a koala, and he's got a baby tucked into the crook of the one arm that doesn’t have kids hanging off it. Stiles' mouth drops open.

"How many of those kids did you kidnap?" he asks before he can wrangle his brain into submission.

The man gives him a look that says what the fuck is wrong with you and snaps, "You think I'd subject myself to this on purpose?"

"Oooh," says one of the kids hanging off his arm. "I'm telling Mom."

Permanent Fixture* - linksofmemories - 80k+ = Explicit

Derek is Scott's older brother. Stiles is Scott's best friend. Derek is falling in love with Stiles. This is a bit of a problem.

Practice Makes Perfect - blacktofade - 21k - Explicit

In his sophomore year, Stiles gets dragged to lacrosse tryouts by Scott and ends up practising alongside the senior captain, Derek Hale. Stiles just wants to live long enough to become a junior.

Prince Among Wolves* - tylerfucklin - 100k - Explicit

Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.

Salty Sweet - secondstar - 40k+ - Explicit

Derek works at a porn store. One day, Stiles comes in asking all sorts of TMI questions about different toys. That's where it all starts.

Sideways and Slantways and Longways and Backways - hologramophone - 7k - Teen

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!” Derek raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress. Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.” (Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

The Company I Keep* - secondstar - 67k - Explicit

Stiles has a favorite table at the library. Then some asshole comes along and steals it from him.

There is a Brotherhood* - minusoneday - 21k - Explicit

So far, college has taught Stiles three things:

1) Eight am classes are cruel and unusual and should be avoided at all costs, even if it means having to enroll in something truly hideous instead, like Econ 101.

2) Dorm security is just as tight as Stiles’ orientation leader had promised it would be, and the dude guarding Scott’s dorm in particular does not respond well to bribes.

3) Mrs. McCall clearly had no clue what she was talking about when she’d insisted that Scott and Stiles needed to branch out and room with strangers, so it’s all her fault that Scott ended up with a total dick of a roommate and Stiles got stuck all the way across campus with some guy who has a girlfriend two towns over and is thus never around.

Or, the one where pledge brothers Stiles and Scott start a prank war with Derek Hale's fraternity.

There’s Monsters At Home - calrissian18 - 80k+ - Explicit

“How did you get past the wards?” Derek had put them up, with Peter’s grudging assistance, after the Alpha pack had made themselves at home a few times too many. The guy pulled a face. “You mean the wards a five-year-old girl with the mental ability of a goldfish could deconstruct?” He blinked wide eyes at Derek. “Gee, I don’t know. It’s bound to go down as one of life’s great mysteries.” Derek despised him.

Tiny Houses* - ohmyjetsabel - 77k - Explicit

"So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.

God, he dreams.

He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."

Versus* - secondstar - 90k+ - Explicit

At age nineteen, Stiles Stilinski was the next big thing, according to The Guardian. It was surreal, not being able to turn on Sky Sports without hearing his name mentioned along with the names of players he grew up idolizing. Stiles couldn’t believe that this was his life.

Windows* - dr_girlfriend - 83k - Explicit

Derek has a new neighbor who won't stop looking.

Excerpt: “You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.

“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”

“Fuck, I...I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.

“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”

“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”

“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”

What I Did On My Summer Vacation - grimm - 118k - Explicit

There's something weird about Beacon Hills that Stiles can't quite put his finger on. The way everyone in town knows his name the day he arrives. The way they insist the melancholic howling that echoes through the forest every night is just a dog. The way his dad denies getting a dog, even though Stiles comes home to find one sprawled across his bed, some big black thing whose eyes gleam red in the right light. The way that massive oak tree out in the woods vibrates under his touch, pulsing with sickly life. There's something weird going on in this town, and Stiles is determined to get to the bottom of it.

#sterek #starter fics #teen wolf #eternalsterek #fic recs

1K notes · View notes