#DIFFERENT PEOPLE CONNECT WITH DIFFERENT THINGS WHO CARES THAT IT DIDNT GET POPULAR

[doctorweebmd]

a really nice comment on 'nothing else fills' made me actually reread it for like, the first time in its entirety and.

wow. its... actually really good. like. i teared up multiple times and i'm the one that wrote it. why was i so mean to myself about it.

[thisdreamplace]

oh my goodness hayyy it’s me 🍁 anon once again! apologies for so many.. I absolutely adore how you guide from life honestly your words have guided me through such hard times.

I wanna ask some questions so feel free to Answer them!

what is your favorite part about nondual/ Taoism

how did you discover it?

what are some hot takes you have about it?

how do you input in daily life!

what are your favorite ways to fully surrender?

what do you do in a wave of a depressive time?

LAST BUT NOT LEAST!

what are your favorite experiences ever Since you gained this knowledge !🎼🎵

alright have a lovely day! I always love your talks!

hiiii <3 thank you for your sweet words~ hehe

hmmmm

well, for me my favorite part in all of this was how it opened me up so much and allowed me to allow love into my life, for the first time ever, with less fear. as a child i was very loving but as i grew older and felt more of the coldness of the world, i really closed myself off from so much. at some point, i even saw myself as extremely bitter and cold and would think of myself as an ice princess... so yeah. definitely forever thankful that nondualism/taoism helped warm me, and open me up to unconditional love.

i remember during early 2020, i began to get really into spirituality and exploring what that means for me. at the time, i was highly interested in witchcraft (ive always had a true interest and connection with the natural world, which is why this path appealed to me~) and didnt really believe in the law of attraction at all, but going onto tumblr to connect with witchblr, i would often see quotes from neville goddard that sparked an interest in me, and the rest is history :)

i think my biggest hot takes are that... so much of it is blown out of proportion, sensationalized, and used to prey on the weak. once people started to realize how popular all of this could be, so many people began to jump on the train and often share information or enforce expectations that are rather harmful, except they dont care because its all about what hooks the desperate people and keeps them coming back. the amount of coaches and things like that which are just looking to make a buck, is pretty wild. even for people who arent asking for money, theres some that clearly just want the clout and they dont really care about anything else. so much of this is actually extremely natural and not supernatural at all, but a lot of what "sells" are these hollywood movie promises of success. as someone who started in this community when there was like... 1 or 2 blogs actually dedicated to this, its definitely grown a lot and almost has become something i seperate myself from, because i dont really fully agree with the way a lot of things are now taught or the way theyre approached. i kind of like to stay in my own lane, stay true to my experience, and hopefully that reaches people as is... :)

for daily life, i try to think about what i learned from the book, "breaking the habit of being yourself" and as well as from the book, "the tao of pooh" because these are two things that really deeply touched me and made lightbulbs go off. im not perfect... but usually i believe that what you do within, you have to start to do without if youll ever see anything different happen. but this is on a very personal level, like for example, "be the change you wish to experience" if you want to experience more love, be love. if you want to experience less stress, begin to implement that... etc etc

i think my favorite way to fully surrender is to cry it out, and take care of myself first (and repeat as needed, hahah)

gosh, this is hard. during a depressive time all i can do is... be depressed. but i always put in effort to not lose sight of whats in front of me. being really depressed can make you feel like nothing is great anymore in your life, and its all empty. so i always try to remember how much love is there already, and all of the blessings that havent gone anywhere, all of the ones ive had up until now, gratitude. in every little pocket of sunshine that i get, i hold onto it because (in a depressive time) i know that the melancholy is lurking. but i still go outside and get fresh air, i still try to exist around those moments i can do nothing more but bedrot or doomscroll.

i think my most favorite experiences are all of the little things that living this way has afforded me. for once, i felt happy. for once, i felt loved. for once, i could push anxiety to the side and truly live. for once, i truly trusted in me. i wasnt afraid of the world anymore, i was enamored with it. i think being able to experience that, after the life i had been living in the darkness for so long before, is truly my most favorite thing of all. ☁️

anyways, hopefully you find this somewhat insightful :')

xoxo 🫧

[cherienymphe]

Actually Meghan had rather easy start as everyone loved harry and was excited for him. You may not remember treatment Kate got when she started dating William - she was hounded by paparazzi, mocked on billboards, insulted. It may not seem that documented because it happened when social media wqsnt that popular but it happened. You still may find paparazzi pictures of kate and meghan and see they difference of treatment (safe distance for meghan, almost no place for kate for walking) What more Meghan was grown up women, Kate was way younger- different places in life. Meghan knew exactlywhat she was doing,, what family shes joining- she was way in her 30 - she was no naive little girl looking for tru love like some ppl claim she was. This women had her business and was in Hollywood for years(not successful but still she wasmarried this producer guy or whatever and her father was also involved with something on movie sets(lighting?),

I had sympathy for Meghan but it quickly vanished once they both mocked Dianas death claiming they were in car chase in new yoork… dont forget that she was once actress so she dealt with pr specialist and all, so she know exactly what to do to gain ppl sympathy. I wont be surprised if her claiming that she had sucidal thoughts was just a way to gain sympathy(we both know that then you can’t be criticised). If they could leave family behind they cleary could seek help for her if this really took place. If harry didnt help her then sorry she has weak husband and he is root of her problems. Plus she and harry are everywhere with cameras. They are only relevant with connection to royal family. If someone allegedly abuse you would you want to live your life connected to them? Use abuser tittles? Why they use titles alll the time? They want all privileges but they don’t want to work they way royal family do, they want to be on the spotlight.

Yep, royal family is fucked up - so is meghan and harry

Kate and William got married when I was 12....so no miss mamas I don't know anything about that because I was child who cared more about Naruto and Twilight than the royal family. Also what does any of this have to do with my main point which is the same people who relentlessly bullied Meghan and said unrepeatable things about her now want everyone else to feel bad about fleeting gossip and jokes about Kate getting a BBL and leaving her cheating husband?

Mind you, you are those same people because you just came in my inbox and speculated that Meghan is a liar who is putting on a show 🧍🏾‍♀️I fear some of you don't actually pay attention to who you're following because what about me would make you think I'd agree with any of this? Why would you think any of what you just sent would sway me?

[vegasera]

just going to add on:

later in life he REALLY learns to mask. even kitsey remarks that people know him as darling (if a drug addict)

and so he ends up getting along with people really well, and he pulls! dont forget when kitsey just starts listing women he's slept with. not to mention he was juggling two women before he started dating kitsey.

the problem is that he masks 24/7 with everyone (including kitsey who he is set to marry) and because of that, he never gets to be real with anyone but boris. even symbolically he showed his true self only to boris (when he showed him the goldfinch) and that's the only time he lets his mask slip

i would argue that he was genuinely pretty popular in vegas and boris was the weird kid (keep in mind, boris was dirty and gross bc he didn't clean or shower on his own. one of the first things theo remarks upon in how his nails are black)

this is for two reasons: one, when theo first arrives despite having no clear friend group he's easily able to sit with various different groups at lunch. he even sits with the mexican kids at lunch "to practice his spanish" despite surface level not fitting in with them. reason two: when boris started dating kotku and effectively ditched theo, theo starts hanging out with the stoner kids, going to (hadley's) swim team parties (with parents home) and drug parties where the parents were notably absent. he got the stoner kids to smoke him out most likely for free considering that theo had no money to his name and didnt mention being hit up for money.

i would say that theo spends so much time masking and living his life by rules that he developed to avoid the severe bullying he dealt with while being best friends with andy that he doesn't know how to cope with things being outside of his rules

ex. he doesn't know how to bond with xandra. he says that usually women his mother's age (usually mothers themselves) liked it when he asked about their day and complimented them. xandra on the other hand isn't charmed by a little boy who actually talks to her and it throws theo for a fucking loop.

so, theo eventually learns how to bond with her (watch reality tv and stay out of the way). he does this while extremely lonely when boris was spending all his time with kotku. however, he never develops a relationship with xandra during all this time because he just sees her as a way to alleviate boredom. he only interacts with her in careful ways that make it civil between them instead of actually being himself. there is no bond between them.

this is the same for all the people he hangs out with during the time that boris dates kotku. it's pretty clear that hadley likes him. hadley takes him to her house for parties that he wouldn't be invited to on his own, but he views her as a way to alleviate boredom and never connects with her outside of displaying social pleasantries and being normal (masking) enough that she'll want him to come back.

but yeah, theo has autism & the way he has lived his whole life trying to avoid abuse (most likely often targeted at him because of his neurodivergency) leads to him pretending to be neurotypical to the point of not allowing himself to be real with a single person other than boris.

“Theo is autistic” elaborate?? Pls??? I need it

*rubs hands together, vibrating* oh boy. infodumping time

he’s never been good at social interaction and he’s alone most of his childhood like. he doesn’t really have a lot of friends but the ones he does have he’s very close to

physically and socially awkward? yeah

while he was staying with the barbours he says he constantly felt like he was exposed and on a stage having to perform a certain way

he’s definitely the “weird kid”in vegas. he totally stands out compared to everyone else, and he recognizes this. he knows he’s different. so before boris he just sticks to himself

always dressing in his layered clothes and sweaters even in vegas when the weather is Way too hot for that

arguably goes nonverbal at times. which.. is really good when he connects with boris because they have such strong nonverbal communication that he really doesn’t need to talk to be understood

while xandra and larry have absolutely no idea how to take care of a dog, very soon after theo starts taking care of popchyk a strong bond is formed and popchyk grows Very attached

has a specific sense of humor that few people pick up on and reciprocate

picks up a large vocabulary from reading so much. like, he’s so captivated by strong words in writing? he underlines sentences in books that he finds striking and his vocab shows through in his narrative writing

theo gets obsessed with the painting. like. seriously, he’s so overly attached to it. it’s like…hyper-empathy mixed with being stuck thinking about the past

…i could keep going to some extent but i will spare you for now. to summarize, theo decker is autistic. that is all

[r0seb1ush]

⋙ did you see sloane maligon at that rager last night? i think they major in english (creative writing) as a junior. from what i hear they’re dynamic, loyal, but they can be pretty temperamental too, depending on who you ask. there was a rumor going around last semester that she used to have a sister who went missing when she was younger, but it seems way too wild to be true- maybe i’ll get to know UCSB’s resident rose blush better & find out. 

bio, connections, & wanted connections are under the cut.

     it goes like this:  you're born to money and luck, that's what everyone coos at you when they see you. a pretty little thing, born to money, and bound to be a pretty girl. and the cooing doesn't stop; you're grown up to be an even prettier adult, with everyone following your every footstep. and no matter how much you look like your mother, it's your father who you take over. you take after his every move, truly a daddy's girl as you go on through your years.

       you grow up in evanston, illinois. the people love you, you love the people. a fairly popular girl, you and your sister more or less was everyone's object of affections. everyone either wanted to be you, or wanted to date you. even those who hated you couldn't deny your beauty nor talents. you're the picture perfect child, down to your smarts and social skills.

       you don't get a tragic backstory. you're born lucky, born rich, born smart, and born to be perfection. you look good in clothes bought with your mother's old money, and you look good on the plane tickets bought with your father's new money. you may have gotten to this place in your life, but you know how to stay in this part of your life.

      your sister gets a tragic backstory; one that succumbs to popularity, the pressures of society, and eventually being in the wrong place - at the wrong place. when your sister dies, do you no longer have a sister? you wonder what would’ve happened if you died, instead. you turn to what your therapist suggests: writing. 

      at first, it’s just a way to get things off your chest. but you find yourself falling in love with different stories and universes and maybe, just maybe, something can go right and have happy endings - and everyone loves a good retelling, right?

funfacts, details, etc.

speaks tagalog, cebuano, and english

was a cheerleader in high school, is now a cheerleading coach on the side for the local hs

big nerd but has this very cool and chill exterior upon first meeting her; it’s hard to break down her walls, yet she’s never mean - just noticing things.

she  BABBLES  when nervous  ,   will literally word vomit on you  .  

gets sad and homesick and depressive episodes  ,   sometimes at the same time  ,   sometimes for weeks on end  .  

doesn’t know how to take a break lmfao

stress bakes

it takes her like a week to get used to you but once she does she makes goofy faces at u across the room

would literally drop everything if she sees blood or some kind of wound bc she wants to help heal u !  

puts other ppl’s feelings and self care before her own

kinda rlly clumsy

sometimes will forget to eat

hipster kinda soft if u didnt get that

loves disney and knows all the songs

will fall in love with you if ur nice to her

she honestly just rlly wants to be friends w/ u ngl

TAKEN CONNECTIONS

tiffany ( @tiffanyfms​ ) - were roommates tiffany’s freshman year of college ! fast friends since then.  

makaela ( @kaelafm ) - friends, but they keep each other on their toes! a little “friendly competition”, if you will. 

ophelia ( @ophelala​ )  -  recruited sloane for the design team of her lingerie brand, as sloane can do some sewing and what not. 

tyson ( @gam3rboo​  )  -  friends, spend a lot of time watching tv (like gilmore girls!) and rotting their brains 🫡

rei ( @reishq​ )  -  friends; sloane sorta took rei under her wing, & is someone who helped him embrace himself, especially with queerness.

burke ( @burkeshq​ ) - fwb, to be expanded.

wesley ( @flcrtal​ ) - situationship baby! the two of them were into each other in the past, but wes wasn’t ready for a relationship and sloane is generally a relationship-only type girl. long story short; they fucked around, sloane figured if she waited long enough it would become a relationship, but that DIDN’T happen - so she figured the only way to get over him was write a lot and also completely cut him off from contact. things r #weird. 

beau ( @beaunjour​ ) - childhood best friends: their families are both kinda rich and they grew up in the same area, so they were always in each other’s lives. run a tiktok account together. zero boundaries. sometimes ppl ask if they’re dating. their response is no response. the summer b4 college they went to europe, got drunk, had fun, messed around, had a fling bc they were both young, hot, and in europe 😉 and things went back to normal once college started, but. SHE HAS NOT TOLD BEAU ABOUT WES. 🙃 sloane is digging her own grave here rlly. 

daniel ( @danielweathers​ ) - shared the same intro class their freshman year of college, and have good friends ever since! rlly good about getting together, etc, etc. 

lexi ( @lexiweston ) - prev known as the painkiller. this person knows her inside out and she can’t see a day without them. they’re essentially her painkiller. she tells them everything and them back to her. they can tell if she's feeling down just by the way you send your snapchat streaks that morning. she can’t see a day without them.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

a crush - sweet but simple, she lays eyes on them and honestly the moment she does she's FULL owo and is like i need this person in my life immediately, bonus points if we date ahaha! 

booboo the fool -    your muse is a huge fool for sloane. they’re head over heels for her but she's just playing around with the other’s feelings because hey ! she has her own shit going on (see: wes & beau & burke) ! all of your muse's friends tell them to ‘ just leave it you’re gonna get hurt ’, but your muse just continue to be boo boo the fool.

best friend - where sloane is calm and collected 90 perfect of the time, she does need someone to be irrational when sloane gets too much into her own thoughts and feelings. they're kinda like yin & yang, but the shit works man. sloane would absolutely risk it all for ur muse.

good influence - let her be a good influence on someone <3 

bad influence - corrupt sloane even more so tho <3

homewrecker - this one is pretty messy. one of them is in a relationship, but there’s a huge flirtationship between the muses. the flirtationship essentially becomes to both of these people attached to each other and maybe... even in love. but there’s still that relationship that’s in the way...

confidant - someone that sees through her cold exterior,   literally wants her to take care of herself so bad that they’ll do it for her.

roommates - self explanatory, but i would love some for her freshman year of college and her current!

nosy neighbor - okay, doesn’t have to be a neighbor, but i’m down for someone who’s trying to desperately find out what her book is about!! like they will stop at nothing to figure it out, and also wonders sm about her sister; basically they see sloane as like a rubix cube to figure out. 

rival - self explanatory, we can plot things out!!

unlikely friend - let her sneak her way into ur grumpy-ish muse’s heart <3 

[red-elric]

apologies to my non furubacord followers and mutuals! yall can skip on by this, i dont wanna bother u w drama but id like to support my good friend here :)

anyway. HEY FURUBACORD! im here too :)

i honestly never planned on making any kind of statement on why i left the server. it was my own business, and im not really one to cause drama. i would hope you all know this about me, though the way jacqui and i have been constantly misconstrued over the last few YEARS really makes me wonder.

i spent the last year and a half before i left the server this spring feeling a steady decline in MY connections, specifically, to people i had thought were my friends. i cant really speak to why some of yall started treating me that way--and it really was just a few people, not the server as a whole--but i did notice, and it pretty steadily gave me more and more anxiety. its not fun when every time you try to tell a story about your life to your friends, youre consistently ignored, but the most inane bullshit from another person in the same group, sometimes in a message IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING MINE, gets ten different people excited and gushing without breaking a sweat. but i digress. i can handle not being wanted around anymore; at that time, my irl life had started the upswing its in today, so i just didnt care that much. i took a soft break from the server to see how it felt.

and it felt great! i was able to see my life without the server as something i could handle, and even enjoy, and my anxiety went WAY down. still, though, there were several people i considered close friends of mine, and i missed them, so i tried to come back (with the personal stipulation that i would mainly interact with my Actual Friends, and not worry so much about my popularity in the Server As A Whole). this was in january...... jacqui discussed the specific incident that occurred w them already, so i wont touch on that more. however, blue is and was easily my best friend in the server, and they approached me about the incident extremely upset. between concern for my friend and my feelings as a mod of the server, i decided to intervene.

one of the people with a large part in that incident was someone i considered another of my closest friends in the server, until i had my conversation w them about this incident. i expressed concern about keeping the peace and making sure we are all still friends, and DARED SUGGEST that maybe they were the one in the wrong. for that, they firmly told me i was in the wrong for thinking so and did not even entertain my opinion as valid. i moved on with the knowledge that, despite my previous feelings that we were friends, they did not consider my opinion as one worth listening to if it didnt align with theirs. it was hard to hear, but im glad i figured it out; it made it easier to leave in the spring.

i spent the next several months noticing--alongside jacqui--a continued decline in how we were treated in the server. our relationships w that former friend never fully recovered. and in the spring, that former friend was discussing an interpersonal problem from their real life, and made a comment about it that made me sick to my stomach. the rest of the server commiserated with them. i expressed my own opinion on what the right thing to do would be, in the nicest way i could manage, and the former friend responded with blatant vitriol. i left the server the next day.

still, there were several people there who i considered friends. there are a few of you--ina, eri, scarf, tess, anya, tea--who i still have no issue with, and would love to continue being friends with. the problems lie with other members of the server. because, you see, the genocide in gaza started in earnest, and several of you used that as an excuse to be incredibly antisemetic, both to jacqui and in general. when jacqui left, you immediately started calling them a zionist. but if you think thats why your friendship with them fell apart, youre kidding yourself; the above all shows the issues were there a long time ago. and you know, a YEAR or two ago, jacqui was the only one of you i saw making any posts about palestine, and they were all in support of palestinians and decolonization. the rest of you didnt care then, and you only care now because its popular to get angry about it. and youre giving in to reactionary bullshit by blaming blue, the jewish scapegoat you didnt like anyway.

so you know what? fuck you. thanks for the memories, but im done caring.

Hey Furubacord, I don't know how many of you still follow me or don't have me blocked, but I wanted to talk about what's happening from my POV.

In January, I made a comment about how hard it is living with my parents. Everyone dogpiled on me, said it was my fault bc I'm not doing enough to move out, I should leave the state, I should get another job, and then getting mad when I said I couldn't do those things since I had just gotten out of a depressive episode. They insinuated they'd been talking about how annoying it is when I talked about that for awhile (that and my love life) and I said something rude to them. So I immediately messaged every single person and apologized. I was told it was fine. I was told this would not ruin our friendship. This was a lie. For the next eleven months I was COMPLETELY IGNORED by one person, and barely spoken to at all by a few others. I noticed this but stayed in the discord bc I really like a lot of you and wanted to stay friends with the ones who didn't inexplicably hate me. In September I stopped interacting as much with the Discord, and finally by November I decided to leave. I made a post saying I was leaving, and that I'd like to stay friends with people, and then things just. Got so bad. People IMMEDIATELY started shit talking me in the group, calling me a "colonizer apologist" for reasons I don't get but am assuming it's because I dared to say Israelis shouldn't be murdered either. I woke up the next day to almost every single person in the Discord unfollowing me on all social media, and someone who I had spoken to the night before, who told me they wanted to stay friends, had blocked me. Nobody spoke to me about this. Nobody told me what was going on. I can only assume a bunch of yall have been talking in DMs about what a bad person I am for awhile, and you convinced each other to drop me. Do you know how much it hurts to lose like ten people at once? People who you thought you were close to? For reasons they never explained? Do you know what a blow to self esteem it is to realize that your friends have been talking shit about you for possibly months, and were just waiting for you to leave so they could officially drop you? Idk if you dropped me bc of what happened in January or bc you assume I'm anti Palestinian (which I never once said???? And was pretty clear about???????) but either way it was hurtful and honestly immature, especially in the case of the people who promised we would stay friends. Idk if this will get back to yall and even if it does you'll probably talk amongst yourselves about how right you were to leave me, what a pain I am, and how much better you are than me bc your activism looks a little bit different from mine. Do you feel better now? Now that I'm no longer annoying you with my personality or pissing you off for caring about dead Jews? Thanks for four entire years of what turned out to be a complete lie. The only reason I don't think I wasted my time there is because I still have a few friends in the server who I love dearly and who didn't randomly drop me (thanks you guys). I figured out I was nonbinary and a lesbian in this server. I met a few of you in person. I gave a lot of you advice. I thought of some of you as my younger siblings. But message received. I'm out of your lives now. Thanks for doing it in the worst way possible. Hope you feel great about yourselves. Bye ig.

[dykesprentiss]

ok so. i know a lot of this has probably been said before, but i wanted to put my two cents in. very rambly and disorganized because i am just like that.

i think everyone in this fandom needs to examine the way they interract with male vs female characters. why is it easier for you to focus on and create content for male characters that have appeared in 2 episodes maximum, then it is for the women that are in the main cast? why do you gravitate towards ships between two male characters who have never met (specifically jonah and like. his harem of old british men. usually based on one single line of dialogue) then the actual, canon wlw relationships?

like dont get me wrong, when lonely eyes first started cropping up it was funny! i enjoyed it, i enjoyed the multiple divorce jokes, because it was a small fandom in joke that made fun of some old bastards. and now its the second most popular ship in the fandom. now its so popular, people think its canon before they start listening. why are you unable to muster that same kind of enthusiasm for any of the female characters? gertrude and mary have very similar appeal to lonely eyes, and yet its a fringe ship that nobody ever talks about. gertrude and agnes have very significant moments and mentions in the podcast, and yet the only people i see talking about them are wlw.

or we could talk about michael and helen! helen who, as of this moment, has become a key player in the storyline. helen who yeeted michael out of existence, who took over the power of the distortion by her own choice, and with her own strength. and so often i see her relegated to "vodka aunt that coos over jonmartin" is that a bad take on her? of course not! but having her only purpose be to comment on the male characters rubs me the wrong way.

lets talk about elias and mary. elias gets praise, and love, and devotion, regardless of the horrible things he does. the entire fandom has the reputation of eliasfuckers now because everyone goes so crazy for him. mary is just as evil, has just as sexy a voice (i assume lol cause tbh? eel eyes does not do it for me and never will), and people just. hate her. full stop. why is that?

it seems like manuela has been. completely forgotten. i Never see anyone talk about her. she has just as much appeal as the male avatars, so why are you so uninterested in her? sasha and tim have the same amount of importance, and both have died, but there is So much more focus on tim. why.

daisy/basira and melanie/georgie are incredibly well developed relationships, their stories are as beautiful and tragic and intimate as jonmartin, but the f/f and m/m fic ratio on ao3 is abysmal. because it seems to me that the only people writing about them are wlw.

which happens.....a lot. het relationships and gay relationships are for everyone, but lesbian ships? thats just for gay women. everyone goes head over heels for mlm movies, regardless of sexuality, but wlw movies never receive the same kind of treatment. why.

this isn't even touching on the. blatant and disgusting fetishising of mlm. elias is evil because hes gay and skanky. tim is bi so he must sleep around. tim and martin are both mlm in the same vicinity of each other so they must have had a friends with benefits relationship. jon/elias and peter/martin have significant age differences and power disparities, so they must have an incredibly fucked up sexual relationship. jon is ace, but yall just fully ignore that so you can write horny fic of him. (and im going to be completely honest, if you get legitimate joy from writing manipulative r*pe fic involving these characters, Especially involving an ace character, ( edit: i apologize for my wording here, i didnt intend to compare trauma between ace and non ace ppl. my point is that jon seems to be the main target in these fics, and that they seem to be a direct response to his asexuality. fic like this is bad regardless of who is targetted). than that is a big problem. you arent "exploring dark topics in a meaningful way" youre writing fucked up porn for your own sick enjoyment. get angry at me all u want lmao but i stand by that)

i could go on about this forever, but what im really asking is for people to look inward and ask yourselves why you are so against connecting and interracting with female characters? no one is saying you cant like the men, but if theyre the only ones you care about? thats a problem. there are more women in tma then there are men, but they still feel like the minority because of the way the fandom acts. this isnt just a tma problem either! you can put as many rounded out female characters as you want into your content, and every time without fail they will be pushed to the side in favor of the men.

and dont come at me with "oh if you want content of the women you should make it" like we fucking are. the issue is that wlw are the only ones doing it. just take a second and think. are you ignoring the female characters in favor of the men? why? why is that your first instinct? why do you not feel the need to go against that instinct?

[endcant]

aimless musings on subgenre, citypop, and internet subcultures

theres something very interesting about watching citypop become very mainstream in korea and watching that feed back into both western listeners’ opinions and also into the sometimes-cynical efforts of a variety of kpop producers

a lot of people in the youtube/kpop sphere talk about the growth of citypop as if it were a spontaneous wave that appeared out of nowhere with mariya takeuchi’s plastic love getting picked up by the youtube algorithm in like 2018 or whatever, but thats a very like online-ignorant view of the interaction between vintage japanese music and worldwide online EDM production. citypop has been used in future funk and vaporwave for almost a decade by now, and, as a result, a number of citypop songs took off on social media here and there before plastic love’s acceleration— dress down by kaworu akimoto is one of the big examples off the top of my head, but there’s likely many many more.

“Plastic Love” by Mariya Takeuchi (1984). if you haven’t heard this yet, you’d better listen to it now. The video that first went viral was uploaded in 2017

“Selfish High Heels” by Yung Bae, Macross 82-99, and Harrison (2014) is a popular Future Funk remixes of Dress Down by Kaoru Akimoto (1986)

people who haven’t been very aesthetically literate online over the years— musically or visually, since those things are tied in subcultures— treat things like they come from nowhere. there are ongoing subcultural conversations that lead to certain aesthetic choices, and when someone tries to cash in on a trend without understanding what the trend is, that leads people to call bullshit. calling bullshit is not meanspirited, in my opinion, because it very much is like somebody who can’t speak a language getting up in front of everybody and saying “hey, i’m fluent!” and then speaking some vaguely that-language-sounding nonsense. of course people who genuinely speak that language will be outraged instinctively. it feels like being mocked.

that’s why the difference between music producers picking up on a trend cynically and music producers picking up on a trend with earnest interest in that trend’s origins feels different, even if the producers are similarly distant from the original subculture that produced that trend.

“Lady” by Yubin (2018) committed hard to the 80s JP citypop aesthetic, musically and visually, down to the sets, all fairly early in the major resurgence.

i’m sure that anyone with a passing familiarity with citypop and kpop can ascertain that not all kpop producers know what citypop is and what makes it citypop. all they know is that it is on-trend and they have to make it. not all kpop listeners know what citypop is and what makes it citypop. all they know is their idol said citypop as a buzzword in their little prepared statement. all this results in some interesting moments for me as a Music Fan, Online.

here is where i get to the thing that spurred this post: loona “did a citypop” for their japanese comeback. it doesnt sound like citypop.

“Hula Hoop (Citypop Version)” by Loona (2021). It has very odd percussion rhythms and mixing for citypop, no real attempt at a citypop verse, and strangely sparse gestures towards citypop in the form of a few seconds of bass and some synthesized orchestral embellishments that were taken from the original mix …all in spite of a very disco-inspired melody that should have worked perfectly for citypop

this is not a very big deal, and im not mad about it or anything. when a kpop act i like gets saddled with an unfortunate B-Side track i dont tend to take it very hard. however, it did raise a little bit of musical discourse in the loona fandom— in the form of remixes.

“hula hoop if it was actually a citypop song” by loonahatetwinks and Olivia Soul on youtube. this one has an original instrumental that is spot-on for contemporary k-citypop

My most favorite one of these remixes is a futurefunk remix by ZSunder, one of the very best LOONA fan producers. The fact that ZSunder thought to make a future funk remix at all speaks more to an understanding of the mutually supportive relationship between citypop and EDM genres than most kpop citypop producers or fanmixers seem to care to know about.

“Hula Hoop (Future Funk Mix)” by ZSunder is futurefunk made and mixed with such love that it has the infectious summery energy of a polished, big-name future funk hit

in the comments of this video, some people seemed to get the citypop-future funk connection and some didnt. many did get it, don’t get me wrong! but also, its not all that surprising for some kpop-focused listeners to not know much about EDM subcultures and the reasons behind various trends among producers, since kpop as an institution tends to take influences from any genre and culture it likes and then decontextualize those influences by just having their names used as buzzwords in the blurbs the idols have to recite when variety show hosts ask them about their latest single. this isn’t a criticism of the genre or the fans really, it’s just a part of the kpop industry that is used to add shine to an endless firehose-like stream of polished pop tracks. there are some issues with using whole genres and subcultures with complex histories as buzzwords, but god help us if we ever want a pop industry to give its influences their dues.

anyway, the intention behind ZSunder’s future funk Hula Hoop remix happened to remind me me of why i love Yukika’s discography so much, especially the Soul Lady album. I’ve seen some reviews online baffled by parts of Soul Lady, because the album in general is an exploration of that relationship between citypop and modern/internet EDM. i’ve seen plenty of Soul Lady reviews especially baffled by pit-a-pet, saying something along the lines of “what’s with the modern-sounding dance track in the middle of a retro album?”, but i think that pit-a-pet is a futurefunk-inspired track, at least in the chorus. considering both that and the Chill Lo-Fi Interludes, it seems like estimate’s team put together Soul Lady for Yukika in a way that shows that they love citypop and understand the online-specific electronic music subcultures that led to citypop’s resurgence.

“pit-a-pet” by Yukika (2020). the stacatto, bass heavy chorus is futurefunk enough, but the soaring orchestral part in the final chorus seals the deal for my interpretation.

“All Flights Are Delayed (1 hour version)” by Yukika (2020). Estimate literally released an hour-long youtube mix of one of the Lo-Fi interludes on Soul Lady as part of their promotion, clearly inspired by “Lo-Fi anime beats to chill out to,” which is another example of online producers from around the world using Japanese samples as a focal point of their music

Estimate, in the end, is still a Kpop production company, just the same as BBC, so they have no inherent claim over citypop, but the way that their exploration of subgenres clearly comes from passion and interest on the part of their production staff makes it so that their work with Yukika rings true. on the other hand, i really appreciate Ryan S. Jhun’s work on LOONA’s JP comeback, as well as on Not Friends, but the citypop mix thing was so clearly an afterthought to the point where fans of Loona who like citypop seem mostly just irritated by the cynical-seeming attempt.

heres one last good modern kpop citypop MV that has nods to the internet culture that led to its revival in the form of the videography— vaporwave, future funk, lofi, and other internet genres along those lines tend to have videos consisting of looping anime and vhs clips. future funk in particular is known for this, especially since a lot of future funk music, esp early future funk, is just loops of very short, catchy segments of citypop and disco songs. it’s all about the loops

“My Type” by Yoon JongShin ft. Miyu Takeuchi (2019). This song is so dedicated to the retro JP citypop sound that it’s almost beyond my personal taste. The singer, Miyu, was a headlining act at a seoul citypop festival and sang this song as part of her act (:

this video of “Only One” by Conscious Thoughts (2015) has a looped clip as an example for comparison with My Type. it also has a pulsing sidechain compressor working in time with its drum beat in a way that is common for future funk and that i think is a good example for my pit-a-pet yukika comparison to future funk

i guess the takeaway here is that media is more and more online, and the creation and propagation of digital audio and video content has been in the hands of literally almost anybody who wants to do it for the past two decades thanks to garage band and fruityloops and audacity and tiktok and youtube and bandcamp and soundcloud and myspace and newgrounds and p2p file sharing and so on and so forth. and therefore like… as with all things, the consumer class more and more is also the creator class, and therefore every member of an audio-visual subculture will have the ability to discern what is and isnt made with knowledge of the audio-visual language of that subculture

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

a poem for small things

by Admin 1 & 2

The time has come, the first proper post for this segment we’ve settled on calling a poem for small things, a nod toward BWL and its Korean title. Like we said in our call for submission post, this is supposed to be something like a place full of positivity for vminnies (and perhaps the occasional namjinist) where you (and us) can share whatever we’d like in connection to vmin, both as vmin and as Jimin and Tae the individuals, and have something to raise our mood and also strengthen our vminnie confidence. We’ve gotten several wonderful submissions and quickly realized that for this first post the theme is mostly how I became a vminnie, even if three submissions talk more about vmin moments they enjoy instead.

I think it’s a really interesting theme, especially since everyone’s story is different, and everyone seems to find something else about vmin that captured their attention and hearts so sharing these memories and experiences is a great way to start off this segment. We’ve said it many times before, though I don’t think you can say it enough times, but this bond that Jimin and Tae share is truly special and so one of a kind, it’s wonderful to see how we all relate to and resonate with it in our own way and find something in it that makes us fall in love with their loves, regardless if we see it as platonic or romantic love. Love is love after all. 95z is love.

For the order of these submissions, we’ll simply go in the order in which we’ve received them. Most of them came from anons, which is more than okay. We’ve also opened the possibility of submitting posts for those who would like to submit wordier posts/asks, should we do another edition of this. It all depends on how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll come through with more submissions that could be gathered for future posts.

Anyway, enough talking from our side, let’s dive into these submissions below the cut, shall we? Like we said in the original post (and demonstrated in the preview post), we’ll add some of our commentary and observations along the way, too.

From anon: This is going to be long winded story but Vmin is like a Serendipity to me. I've heard of BTS mainly from my hubby when he complains that times sq is packed because of BTS (when they’re in town and doing their rounds of morning shows). I knew they were very popular but it was a great surprise that i discovered them after watching ILand during lockdown. Their songs were great and i started playing their classics like Fire, DNA Fake Love etc. Then they did an appearance in the show...

I love how you heard about BTS because of your husband and Time Square being packed, this is honestly the most original and unique version of how I’ve come across BTS I’ve read over the years. Amazing!

I was drawn to Taehyung's beauty during their appearance in Iland. And my first Vmin ? moment was when Tae commented about being handsome and attractive are 2 things and being attractive weighs more - along those lines... then JM made a comment that its unfair that he's both and Tae was like Im talking about you... I went like ok he thinks JM is attractive- theyre good friends.... then Jimin did the FakeLove choreo and the camera focused on Tae and he had this wide smile...The Iland Tae/Jimin clips made me do a double take but I dismissed it since it was just only a few seconds worth of screen time but still...

I-Land vmin was really something else in both episodes. 

Fun fact: I-Land was the first Korean survival show I’ve ever watched, mostly because it had something to do with BH and since it was streamed online with subs in real time. Unfortunately, my faves—Daniel and Taki—didn’t make it into ENHYPEN, though I’m happy that Taki will be in a future Japanese BH group.

But, going back to vmin, that moment with Jimin dancing FAKE LOVE and Tae looking at him with that boxy smile as though Jimin hung the stars in the sky? I melted, even if it was just one of those brief moments, yet still it’s so cute! And it was all over sns being shared by vminnies and non-vminnies alike. What a great time that was.

Then VMAs Dynamite perf happened- both Vmin looking good. I saw a lot of their promos especially the Jimmy Fallon interviews... and I noticed in hindsight how JF was so careful when referring to Jimin ... Since Tae was my first bias, I searched YT for Tae related content eventually saw in my YT feed Vmin moments. Theres a lot of Vmin content in YT or maybe the T*ek*ok ones didnt really register as extraordinary to me. But defo the Vmin moments were extraordinary to me,,,the BV4 sleeping together, kitchen role play & BV3 JM excited to see Tae and them holding hands and then Tae crying and then Tae's busking with Jimin cheering him on were all amazing to see. Up to this day this specific YT vid stood out to me first 

I actually went to check what video this is, and also looked at the comments where my favorite was this one: The staff member went straight to Jimin to tell him V was crying. That's all you need to know. They’re not wrong with that one, are they? That is pretty telling. BV3 vmin were a work of wonder, truly. Jimin watching Tae sing that Sam Smith song during the dinner in the sky looking all soft and endlessly fond?

Jimin encouraging Tae to busk and gently petting his hair was just such a pure moment and showed how much Jimin appreciates Tae and the talent he has, how in moments when Tae might brush aside wanting to do something, is a little hesitant and unsure, Jimin will stand up for him and give him strength/encouragement, which reminds me of Tae’s vlive in April 2020 and the fact that Jimin had told him that he wants to be his source of strength. Beautiful. And it shows that it wasn’t just pretty yet empty words, but something he truly meant. They both do.

Then i came across vid trans of Friends & cried first time hearing it especially when it got to the part "One day when the cheer dies down, stay hey.." It felt raw and honest to me. Then there's MOT:E concert and that part in Dynamite where they bumped their heads seemed bizaare to me - i was like were they fighting? because JM looked really fierce(or maybe emotional) then i saw the close up. i couldnt remember the exact moment I became a Vminie but it made quarantine easier...

This, I’ve noticed, seems to be a recurring theme among quarantine ARMY and vminnies, the fact that becoming ARMY and vminnies made it easier, and it fits with what we’ve been saying about BTS for years: they will find you when you’ll need them most. And in these trying and uncertain times, it’s certainly proven true once again.

Thank you of much for your submission and sharing your story with us, and I’m glad they could make quarantine a little easier for you.

From anon: I've been following BTS on and off since BST, but only really consider myself a true fan late 2019. I can't recall having a bias at first, but I was captivated by Jimin's everything when I binge-watched all their content. I must admit, my first OTP is T*e/k*ok, where I fell down the route of considering Jimin 'an interfering 3rd party' in their relationship, and it shamed me. Since then I've been cycling through Jimin ships, namely yo*n/m*n, j*n/m*n, m*ni/m*ni, and I even thought that j*/k*ok was real at some point. Strangely, Vmin never struck me as something extraordinary. I don't want to blame anyone, but Vmin caught my eye after I watched official BTS content without filter (presumed bias/judgement) all in their glory. I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant. That's what makes me love Vmin, and for the first time in my fandom life, I have no qualms about whether they are real or not. Their bond, whatever it is, is already precious and something to be cherished forever. Thank you for providing us vminies a special corner to speak up about our experience 💜

You’re very welcome! I hope you’ll like how this turned out as well. Thank you for sharing your story with us and personally I find it fascinating how, despite Jimin being the one who captivated you most at first, you still fell into the “he’s an interference for my ship” trap that’s quite popular with that particular ship. I’m glad though that that never ruined your love for Jimin. It’s also really interesting for me how you went through different Jimin ships yet it took you the longest time to notice vmin. I feel like, because vmin and vminnies are more “low key” than the other bigger and louder ships, as well as Tae and Jimin simply being quieter in their interactions (not always but you get the point) as compared to, for example, Jimin’s interactions with Hobi, Jungkook, or even Namjoon, it takes people a while to really notice them.

This is my favorite part of what you wrote, and I think it’s a great way to describe vmin in general and what makes them different from other ships in the grand scheme of things: I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant.

From vminot7: So i fell into BTS hole after watching blood sweat and tears mv casually on youtube. Jimin immediately stole my attention with his unique voice, graceful moves and handsome features even though i didn’t know their names at that time. I watched more MVs and jimin continued to hold my attention but i was also extremely drawn to taehyung's voice and facial expressions. So i started looking for more content such as RUN BTS and other compilations and realized my love for all 7 of them. I also noticed how jimin always had a soft spot for taehyung and was curious about their dynamics. I started looking at more of vmin content and i was really surprised to see how in the early days they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now. I think they have a unique bond and i have never come across anything quite similar. Now vmin are both my biases and my bias wrecker is hoseok.

I admire jimin for being a hardworking, passionate perfectionist but also a caring soul who is always ready to offer love and comfort to people in need. I love taehyung for how he looks at the world in his unique ways and how he has a childlike awe for things and how he is so passionate over the things he loves. The thing i love about vmin together is how they are so different yet work so hard on their relationship when it would be easier to just not try that hard.

Ah, another mention of the queen that is Blood, Sweat and Tears. The MV truly is such a masterpiece so I’m not surprised that it caught your attention, and especially Jimin since he was…something else in that MV, or like Tae said, his eyes were temptation (this boy, I swear). Since you mentioned how in the first years they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now, I think watching their dynamic and relationship change and evolve over time showcases the one thing I think a lot of people (as well as movies and TV shows) forget or gloss over, despite it being so incredibly important: in order to make a relationship of any kind work, especially in order for it to grow as deep and strong as the one between all members and especially vmin, you need to put in the emotional work to make that happen. You have to make an effort, have to learn to understand the other person and teach them to understand you as well, learn to appreciate and love their little quirks and how to accept others. And it’s so clear that that’s what vmin did, continue to do, and it more than paid off in the long run. I’m glad you highlighted that in general but also as something you love about them.

While the overall bond between the members is a class of its own, I think especially what vmin have achieved is a whole masterclass in relationships and fostering strong ones, in and of itself. There is a lot I think we can learn from them and I’m so happy that people recognize how special they are.

Thank you so much for your submission!

From anon: There’s this small moments in Dear Class of 2020 that i just adore! I’ve watched it at least 20 times this past month

It starts with “Spring Day”- tae and jimin laugh and look at each other and it’s just so sweet!

Also, maybe it’s my delusional mind but after tae’s and jin’s small and adorable moment- it seemed that jimin did the same with junkook right after maybe out of i duuno if jealousy but like “pay attention to me too” kinda way- dont know really and maybe it’s me being extra🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree partially, in that Jimin watched Tae’s and Seokjin’s adorable moment, obviously must’ve thought of it as cute just like we did, and thought he could do the same with JK. I don’t think it had anything to do with jealousy, especially if we work off of the idea that vmin are a thing, but also because it’s a performance and these things primarily serve the purpose of being cute and entertaining use, in other words, it’s fanservice (which isn’t the evil word some portray it as). Also, within that same performance, Tae and Jimin actually sang some of the lyrics toward each other, therefore they, too, had a cute moment they shared with big smiles and everything, just like you mentioned.

But we’ve gotten to see much more of Tae’s friendship with Seokjin in 2020, and especially the second half, so it was really sweet to see them interact during that song. Their friendship and dynamic is really a beautiful one, just like JKs bond with Seokjin, which I feel we’ve also gotten to see more of in recent months. Part of me (and that part can very well be wrong) feels that perhaps once the members caught on to Seokjin feeling the way he said he did/does, they decided to give him an extra dose of love and affection, off camera but also on where we can see it. That isn’t to say that they didn’t show him any of that before, but maybe they increased the intensity a little, a reminder that Seokjin truly is loved, that he deserves all of this, that it’s just his imposter syndrome (or at least what sounds like it) lying to him.

I’m still so touched and moved by the fact that he trusted us enough to share his feelings with us, to gift us Abyss and how it came to be, and that Bang PD was on his side and coaxed him into pouring his feelings into music, even if it would be “bad”, that the fear of it potentially being “bad” shouldn’t hold him back (and Namjoon helping in even if just a tiny bit with the lyrics). It was one of those times where I feel like we were all reminded that regardless of our opinions of BH and their doings, the members are surrounded by kind people who have their best interest in mind. After all what’s good for Bangtan is also good for the company, a win-win for everyone.

…wow, okay, I kind of went off on a tangent, I’m sorry…

Either way , then we have “Mikrokosmos” where we have a sweet moment at their part and towards the end where they switch mic and hear each other

I love this performance overall and especially “spring day”- jin’s and j-hope’s lovely voices and of course tae’s!! This song fits them so well and all the members of course

Well this is my rent , i love your blog and always wait for another post! Also i love the new idea and look forward to it!

Thank you so much for your submission and for bringing up their Dear Class 2020 performance. It was a truly magical one, and after reading this the first time, I did go and watch it again. To this day I’d still very much like to know how and when and why the mic switch between vmin happened, and I kind of hope that we might get a Bangtan B*mb or EPISODE about this eventually and it might shine some light on that question. Overall it was one of my favorite performances on 2020.

From Sky: While I enjoy cute, physical moments with VMIN, I really do value how emotionally attached they are to each other. For example (I don’t know if it fits as vmin moment but), I love how Jimin asked V to take the Promise cover photo, and how he ended up putting V’s name for credits on the cover. (Special Thanks to V, Best Photographer) This really shows a lot. Coz he can easily choose any Bighit photographer to take it. He could have chosen JK because we know how he takes good pics and vids too (and also apparently alot of people say that vmin had a falling out and that Jimin and JK were much more closer, lol). Or he could’ve asked Suga too bec he’s into cameras too. But he didn’t. He chose V, and chose to shout it out to the world how thankful he is for V’s help. RM co-wrote Promise, and maybe had offered more help in this project, but he didn’t put it in the cover. I’m not saying Jimin is ungrateful for not crediting RM in the cover. The difference is that he and RM had a vlive regarding the making of this song, a lot of people already know RM’s participation, he was officially credited as co-writer and Jimin really showed how thankful he is to RM. But no one knows of V’s participation (except for a snippet in that Run ep), so Jimin felt the need to tell it to everyone. I’m sure it’s not only the photos, I think he wanted to acknowledge how V helped him through the process, whether directly or indirectly. Also, remember this is Jimin’s first non-album solo single. By putting V’s name in it, he is sharing this very special song with his soulmate. How endearing it is! V also included Jimin in his first full English song. He used the two bears given by Jimin as Winter Bear’s cover photo and he included the photo Jimin took (sleeping V in the plane) in the MV. Like, seriously, they are trying to consciously imprint each other in their life’s milestones, openly or subtly. I’m crying. 😭

This was lovely, and yes, Jimin could’ve asked whoever to take those pictures, could’ve chosen any other ones, and yet he wanted Tae to be the one to take them, wanted those specific ones as covers. It’s very sweet and creates this subtle connection between Jimin, the song, and Tae. Sure, it isn’t the first time a picture Tae took is the cover for a SoundCloud song (the picture of JK on the 2U cover was also taken by Tae if I remember correctly), but it’s the fact that Promise is Jimin’s first non-BTS song, his first solo release, that makes it that much more special. Even more so when you think about how meaningful that song is to Jimin, and by having Tae as cover picture photographer, he’s in a way forever attached memory wise to that song as well, right?

The same also goes with Winter Bear and the two ceramic bears. Remember how excited Tae looked when I kinda spoiled that gift being a thing happening in an upcoming RUN episode during Jimin’s vlive during the summer 2019? Adorable. It’s also curious how though the title is singular—winter bear not winter bears—there’s two ceramic bears. One for Tae, one for Jimin? Maybe, or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Either way, it’s really cute, and it was a very thoughtful gift, even more when we think about just how much Jimin loves that song.

From anon: Love this idea it's super cute!! 1st thing that came to my mind is a rather simple moment, jimin bopping taehyung's nose and making a lil game out of it

Taehyung asking for more and that dazed smile 🥺 he had the same expression in that concert when jimin placed his face just above him, tae's smile afterward... it was so pure u could almost read "love" in his eyes lol

What a lovely note to end this post at, thank you for that. I don’t know what got into them during that photoshoot for Season’s Greetings 2020 but this was so disarmingly adorable. I remember when that moment appeared all over every sns and everyone just melted, myself included. Their smiles, the cute clothes, Tae’s head on Jimin’s chest, the softness and innocence of it, just all of it. It truly was so pure and like this sweet visualization of ��love’.

And with that, we’ve reached the end. Did you like this? I had a great time reading your submissions and adding my little comments to them. If you’d like for us to continue this, same rules as last time, send in a submission marked with “VMC” and once we’ll have enough of them gathered, we’ll do this again, if you’re interested in more, that is. Send in whatever positive vmin you have, a thought, a moment, a memory, whatever you’d like.

Thank you once again to everyone who participated! :)

[butterflyeffectiveless]

personal, oversharing, list of different fandom concepts I had in mind but that have been cancelled or never realized. I mainly write this for myself to sort out ideas

Svtfoe: an AU where Toffee took care of Star instead of Moon, and Moon was in the hiding.. dont really remember much. Also remember that in the end it was planned for Star to change course of universe to get back her chidlhood and family, but by doing so she erased her current universe.

reasons for cancelling: I assume it just ended abruptly because I got busy with other things and then deleted my blog. why cant bring the idea back: mentally not the same as I was back when I worked on that AU, and probably, maybe also because I cant remember a lot of stuff and my priorities changed. Also I dont really like that AU because im no longer can portray Toffee as nice and I feel it was too flawed as a story

Friday Night Funkin:

An AU idea where Senpai was Girlfriend’s comfort character when she was a child. And that Senpai was different from the OG unirvse version: he felt geniune connection to Girlfriend and was loyal to her and was emotionally attached to her (platonically). There was no story, it was a standalone concept for which I wanted to draw fanart. I guess the origin idea was that Gf’s parents could do magic things since they were demons, and by using their demonic powers they created a sentient entity within a videogame that was supposed to be dark and demonic like them but Senpai didnt do anything demonic he just warmed up to girlfriend and felt the emotional attachment growing because Gf spent many nights playing that same date simulator to comfort herself. Girlfriend never knew that Senpai was sentient.

reasons for cancelling: I dont know, I various things. including me feeling this idea feels hypocritic of me to make.

why cant bring the idea back: guilt- but part of me considers to make a drawing with Senpai from this au

an AU idea where Boyfriend is an edgy rock enthusiast and Girldfriend is a jpop singer. Rock people look down on anime and jpop lovers and call them cringy etc., and jpop lovers call rockers edgy and mean and its a very wide popular stereotype from both sides, which caused a lot of antagonization of each party. Despite this all Boyfriend and Girlfriend never hated each other; they fell in love and geniunely liked each other. The idea was meant to represent my experience with 2000s trends and the whole ‘cringe culture’, where everyone scoffed at those who liked cute and anime things. And also the idea that not all 2000 rock likers and edgy people are mean to jpop likers and that even while being edgy one can geniunely respect and love someone with interests that are stereotyped as “hated” by the group of people you belong to. Also part of me wanted to pay respects to the ones I used to know who loved jpop and anime idol things and who were bullied for it.

examples of drawings:

reasons for cancelling:  I don’t know. why cant bring the idea back: anything related to love is hard for me now. But am thinking that I will sometimes sketch smth from this au

SvtFOE:

A story idea dedicated to ludoffee ship. Basically an AU where Toffee was brought back to life after the events of canon and Ludo and Toffee somehow make up after everything. The ship was supposed to be more like a constructive development of the two instead of romanticising toxicity. There were meant to be ups and downs from both sides, aka Ludo still struggling to trust Toffee, Toffee still acting uncaring, Ludo still trying to get a wand and spiralling back into his abusive self. In all honesty I planned to make it as follows: First Toffee goes through character development and has to deal with his past actions, but around the times when Toffee settles down and starts to change his view on things, Ludo starts to act up and do wrong things and then it becomes more about Ludo needing to tackle his inner demons to make things better for the two of them. I even wrote a rough script in a separate document for some situations. Toffee was meant to star doubting himself and feeling like he starts lying again but not being sure about it. As Toffee starts to geniunely like Ludo, Toffee gets more sad because he starts to realize that he is the only one who sees Ludo as someone great whereas the rest of the world laughs at him, and that was supposed to upset Toffee and bug him a lot, mixed with load of guilt for having been the same way as those who look down on Ludo. 

In one of my drafts, Toffee was going to leave the castle for a bit, to go out and think over whats going on in his head, but when he tried to inform Ludo about, Ludo wasnt listening well and that led to a huge nasty misunderstanding, and the fact that Toffee was planning to travel at the time when a fight happened, made the misunderstanding worse: Ludo thought that Toffee hated him and was going to leave for good. But in reality Toffee was just going to clear his mind and not because of Ludo. And in one scene where Toffee was sitting in a train and looking out of the window he was thinking about what if he was lying about his feelings. Somewhere at the end he decided to retire and get some of his belongings in his old septarian camp-like place, and at the time Ludo was rushing in to get Toffee back and thought that Toffee is going to be a general again and is going to go into war, and they stumble upon each other. It was supposed to be a humorous part but i still havent figured out how to portray it in a funny way besides Ludo screaming something like “Im sorry ! Please dont go back to military!” and Toffee standing confused with bags in his hands and saying “What do you mean? I am retiring.” There were more sketches aka 

Toffee: Thats odd. We are still losing to the princess even though I geniunely try to help you this time.

Ludo: /gloomily/ Plot armor.

examples of drawings:

reasons for cancelling:  that is very hard to implement and draw.. ngl drawing is hard. also school and other stuff why cant bring the idea back: i suppose bc i its kind of hard to come back to love and relationships anymore.

[lieblxng]

im developing a lot of aus including the reverse au which is currently only available for rose, but leon also has it developed, i just forgot to put it in the verses page for him haha but wow im developing a reverse verse for a chara i dont have??? i might as well throw damos on the blog and be the only person in the pkmn rpc who plays him LMAO i cant help falling for obscure characters but i think he might have a better chance in getting interactions than my etrian odyssey muses but no if anyone wants to do damos,,,,you can hmu 😳😳 i cant reply it or see it if you do tho LMAOO

anyway reverse!damos here who goes by lazarus (meaning: my god has aided me) is not a nice farmer unlike his normal verse, instead being akin to a mercenary, but he kinda fills in the role of marcus - he has the ability to manipulate the hearts of pokemon, even legendaries and because of this, he’s been fiddling with legendaries and experimenting with things to try something out - and while reverse!arceus has been severely weakened from an intense fight or a meteorite too (im still figuring it out) and lost its life plates, lazarus finds it. it’s on the brink of dying, and instead of returning the plates like a nice person, lazarus only thinks of profit and benefitting himself - because it’s so vulnerable, it manipulates reverse!phae into summoning the lake guardians, where it promptly fights them and steals their gems before kicking them into the dirt. then he uses said gems to restraint and fully take control of reverse!phae before inserting the plates back into it, saying it will only get them back if it corporates. yes, lazarus literally pulls a cyrus being the first one to actually create a draft of the red chains to have arceus under its command. one of cyrus’ pc posts is “According to myths, the Pokémon created Sinnoh with its power. However, capturing the Pokémon with a Poké Ball prevents it from using its full power... But with the Red Chain, the Pokémon can be shackled, and its power can be used without restraint...” and he’s implying arceus with the first mention of pokemon, so maybe the red chains can be used on god??? i dont see why not, although the lake guardian was made more to check the creation trio than god itself, but why wouldn’t you have checks against god? “The Pokémon of the lakes and Mt. Coronet are somehow connected. Capturing the Pokémon of the lakes will free the Pokémon of Mt. Coronet. From the Pokémon of the lakes, crystals can be extracted to create a Red Chain.” i know he implies the creation trio with pkmn of mt. coronet but technically arceus lives in mt. coronet as the hall of origins can be summoned there LEMME HAVE THIS - 

originally i was going to have reverse!arceus be a completely neutral god, both in personality and how it handled things - just create life, casually, and just head out and do nothing for them - “the humans can handle their planet however they wish to. if they destroy it, they destroy it.” and i was trying to redesign it and it kept coming up as punk (more below because this is a long ass post)

so i was like, aight i guess i’ll go with what my heart wants but something still didnt feel right, because punk is an expression more than just a simple fashion statement - it was created to rebel against those who tried to hold you down and mold you into who they wanted you to be. to defy the shitty standards of what’s supposedly normal. and then it all clicked when i looked at this vid 

ive heard the music itself and one of my favs, but not the music video so i kinda just exploded with ideas and it really completed the punk i wanted to go with - funny thing, im a bad character designer so i scrapped the punk look and pulled a unique thing with phae’s case - legendaries and mythics are statements of unchanging, fixated ways while normal, evolvable pokemon are statements of improvement and change - growth, which is something phae is completely jealous of. gods don’t evolve; they don’t change. so i thought, why not keep its original look (i love it too much anyway and i cant think of anything better tbh for phae) to reflect that aspect but have the way it governs and behaves different? normal!phae and reverse!phae are still similar but opposite - normal being the kind, caring god and reverse being the relentless, uncaring god. both are the two most popular aspects and themes of gods and how they treat those beneath them, so i thought it worked.

reverse!phae never wanted to be a god. it’s immature and uncaring on purpose to get the attention of the creator of the original one itself; to be a sign of rebel, to show that it was its own character and no one can morph it into what they want it to be. it revels in its creations screaming in pain, as nothing else entertains it so and because it empathizes with them. it sends the world into pure chaos a majority of time so no one enjoys living. seeing its creations, both human and pokemon, excel in the trials and tribulations of this hell; seeing them perform so expertly under extreme stress, how humans and pokemon can come together and defeat anythin - and rebelling in their own right and way give reverse!phae so much hope and relief. that it’ll be able to do the same. and once reverse!phae does get its creators attention, you bet it’s gonna be very angry on why it exists. it might even try to murk its creator. it’s more of a “i didn’t ask to be born so i’m gonna make it your problem” type of person, and a god prone to violence - often fighting with its own creations, like even the lake trio and the creation trio. but it checks them all every time, and it’s so hungry for an actual fight that reverse!phae can actually work for and struggle for and feel like it actually won. and that’s when lazarus comes in. that’s where lazarus comes in.

how much it hates lazarus. how much it hates lazarus. it hates everyone, but lazarus has a special kind of hatred reserved just for him. in fact, hatred isn’t the proper word to explain the intense, raw, unfiltered feelings reverse!phae has for him. on one hand, it absolutely respects the honest work he puts in to further himself, but on the other hand, being the one on the receiving end of his malicious intentions is never ideal. it has no interest in whatever petty crimes he wants to commit, but trying to take god and become it yourself? completely admirable. a fantastic way to rebel, but having to have someone chain you down and control you? reverse!phae’s worst nightmare. i’ll get into that later since this is already long enough god help me

is reverse!phae messed up? yes, severely. that’s kinda what happens when you rot alone in the depths of dark space for eons. no human nor pokemon - no, no living being can ever handle that. both normal! and reverse!phae have the same backstory, but different reactions to it. reverse!phae wants everyone to scream and lash out, it wants everyone to rebel against their origins and become their own people, even with the immense baggage on their shoulders. it wants everyone to risk death to accomplish their dreams. it laughs in everyone's faces before spitting in them. i think reverse!phae will be one of my most violent takes on a muse, if not, my most since it is god and the shit it talks can easily be proven right. it constantly berates and breaks people down into pieces. no one understands it. it hates everyone and everything it sees. it doesn’t need love and kindness, it just needs a body to break. which is untrue, because obviously its yearning for love and kindness - something its never experienced - and it’s lashing out for attention. secretly hoping someone will just hug it and all its problems away. that everything will be okay in the grand scheme of things. that it won’t have to have the unlimited stress of being a god anymore.

usually when i put my touch on muses, canon or not, they’re primarily good people with hearts of gold. even with ones less so, they’re not as intense as this. so working with that kind of character is thrilling and i’m excited to see if i can get anyone interested with it lmao- reverse!phae’s name might be nou or chali, what would be better? sorry this was such a long post!! i’ve been working on this since last night and it’s been really fun to develop like this again - i only get this kind of productive with my hyperfixations, so they’re both a blessing and a curse -  i think this is everything i have rn for the reverse au but ii’ll be going back into it

[mikemoon]

( choi yeonjun, cis man ) have you seen MICHAEL “MIKE” MOON ? i heard HE is a COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR at SAN VERTO COLLEGE and an EMPLOYEE at HALL OF FILM. they’re 22 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for 6 YEARS. they tend to be CARE-FREE & ADVENTUROUS, but rumor has it they can also be GRUMPY & CLUMSY. [ tally, 25, gmt+4, she/her ] @foolsstarters​

tw // mentions of depression, cheating, divorce, underage drinking and smoking

michael moon, born myungjun moon –– choi yeonjun fc

birthday: september 9, 1998 - 22 yrs old ; virgo

cis man, he/him, bisexual

born and raised in philadelphia, pennsylvania

mike grew up being an only child, and always around the company of his mother in their house. his father was always traveling back and forth from south korea to the states for work. his parents have met at work on one of his father’s trips to the states, and they fell in love. his mother being american-born, she couldn’t really leave philadelphia. she loved it there. so they decided to keep it a long distance relationship.

sometime during those fleeting meetings, she had gotten pregnant with michael. and of course, his father spoiled them both, giving them everything they wanted. he never left them to fend for themselves. when the boy was born, his father named him myungjun, and his mother decided to name him michael for his english name. the nicknames jun, mike, and sometimes junnie were often heard whenever his parents or childhood friends called him.

up until mike was five years old in 2004, he’s lived with his mother, while his father was leaving and coming back for a week or two. but that year, he’s finally moved to the states and stayed with them for longer nights. he even finally married michael’s mother. of course, he still disappeared for a few days or weeks on end for work.

but that was also the year michael’s mother found out that her husband was with another woman. michael has never seen his mother break down like that before. sadly, the young boy was peering into the room when the fight happened and witnessed everything. his mother made her partner choose between the two women, and he eventually told her that he was going to divorce his first wife for her, and appeared to have gone through with his promise. because after that incident, he’s been around more often.

by early 2015, when michael had just turned 16, his mother had gotten a teaching job in ashdown academy, which resulted in their move to san verto, california. meaning, new school and new friends for mike. meanwhile, his dad was still traveling a lot for business and coming back whenever he could.

michael has grown up as a cheerful and energetic child. his friends at any school he went to would tell you how much of a great friend he is, how trustworthy and caring he is. it was so easy for him to make friends anywhere. he was the type of friend who would smile at you and listen to you talk on and on about whatever you liked, and the type who would cheer you on with anything you want to achieve. he wanted everyone to feel included and loved.

so it wasn’t that hard for him to get along with new people once he moved to town. he was a very social person. 

he was also the type of teenager who was out there doing things he wasn’t supposed to. he missed his old friends and his old home, but he wanted to have fun with all the new kids he was befriending. that simply resulted in him going to house parties as an underaged teen to ‘have fun’. his mother didn’t approve of him coming home very late at night, clearly smelling like smoke and alcohol. 

internally he was a depressed mess. of course, no one is completely happy as they grow up. his family was a mess, even if it appeared as fine to everyone else. his family life affected him so much while growing up. mike sometimes could disappear for a few days in his room, and it was always during some of his bad spells.

what made it worse was the day he found out the truth.

it was 2017 when michael walked into his father’s office in their house, looking for him to ask him about something. and instead of finding the man, he found a stack of papers poking from underneath his father’s laptop. upon closer look, they appeared to be divorce papers. michael’s heart sunk, thinking his parents were breaking it off.

michael is a curious kid, he couldn’t help but close the door and read the papers. but what he saw wasn’t his mother’s name, it was another woman. his heart raced, as he put things back where they were and immediately left the room. michael had found out one of his father’s many secrets. he never divorced his first wife all those years ago. he lied and somehow stayed with both women without suspicion... well, until now. clearly the other woman was breaking it off for a reason. 

michael couldn’t help his curiosity. he came back to the room later that night and snapped as many pictures as he could of evidence he could find. he even found his father’s phone (which was easy to figure out the password of) and found a plethora of pictures of the man with a different family, different kids and a different partner. he airdropped the pictures to himself to avoid leaving any traces behind and quickly left again.

a quick search on facebook, and he managed to find the first wife. it was easy with the name and pictures he had. if anything, michael prided himself on being a good internet detective... or stalker. he spent everyday trying to find the rest of the family on the internet. he found the woman’s young daughter on instagram and twitter, along with her older son’s accounts as well. it felt weird. it was a constant “now what?” for michael. he’s found them. what was he going to do now? he couldn’t just message them and tell them everything. and he couldn’t break his mother’s heart by letting her know.

except he had to let her know. he could never live with the fact that he knew his father was betraying her this entire time. and so michael told her everything, and after comforting her all night when she broke down yet again, she immediately ended things and asked for a divorce. now it was just michael and his mother, all alone. and for once, having to get by on their own.

thankfully they were safe, with his mother’s amazing money management skills, and the job she got at the academy, they managed to live their regular lives despite the heavy feeling of a broken family looming around them. the two just wanted to be happy again.

michael spent the next few years trying to lead a normal life. his mental health had gotten worse after everything he’s found out. he went to college, and he continued trying to do well in school. he really wasn’t the best when it came to grades, but he was trying his best.

and truthfully, he couldn’t help but make a few spare accounts on some social medias to follow his father’s other family.

but he eventually decided to just let it go, assuming they definitely knew about his mother and himself, which would explain the first divorce. so he decided to put it in the past and move on.

his mother has moved on as well. she found herself someone who actually cares about her so much (mike’s stupid ass has done a secret background check to make sure this dude wasn’t another cheater lmaoo) and now mike isn’t an only child anymore. it’s been 2 years since his little sister yuna was born, and he loves her so much. he still isn’t used to the idea of a new fatherly figure in his life, but he’s.... getting there. 

little dumb hcs

mike majors in computer science at san verto college, with a concentration in game development and design

hes a lil gamer boy,,, u KNOW he’s that annoying dude with a gamer chair that has a sound system in it khjkh

he posted a few videos on youtube but rly just ditched the channel after like a month. he still posts whenever he feels like it tho and it’s usually just.... messy gaming videos or opinions no one asked for

his dad’s dumb ass still doesn’t know it was mike who exposed him to his mother. he thinks she found the divorce papers on her own. therefore.... mike still gets money from his dad on a monthly basis and gets to keep the car he bought him for his 18th birthday lmaooooo a win 

you probably heard me say this before but.... theres a hc that mike is allergic to eggs. simply bc the idea of him shopping in the vegan section is funny to me 

this boy has a love for frogs ? idk where the obsession came from but you bet you’re gonna see a cute lil frog sticker on everything he owns. he doodles them on everything too ? it’s a habit at this point. he also knows random little facts about them and tells them to anyone who didnt ask for them 

. embarrassing but.. this dude... omg.... a big sana stan.... he has a photocard collection.... he went to a twice concert like 5 times.... dont be surprised if you see a feel special sana photocard in his phonecase.... im embarrassed of him 

he also has a hyunjin mcdonalds hashbrown photocard framed that a friend gave to him for christmas bc.. it’s a rare card,,, and you can see it on a table by the door when you walk into his apartment 😭

mike also has a habit of buying things he doesn’t need ?? he has a plushie collection that has been growing since he was young, and now is getting bigger with the rise of squishmallows

there’s this random hc where he drunk bought a cardboard cutout of john cena ,,,, don’t ask,,, it’s currently guarding his room back at his mom’s house djfhdj

can you tell mike is my most embarrassing , most chaotic character,, 

also he moved out after graduating school and when he started to attend college,,,, gimme some roomies pls

connection ideas ??

michael’s childhood friends; could’ve gone to the same school back in philly before he moved away ?? 

friends he made when he moved to town?? mike is very social and was... kinda popular in school, i’d say. he made friends with basically anyone he found interesting

michael’s ex; they could’ve ended on a bad note, or even on a good one and ended up being friends. im really up for plotting anything.

michael’s best friend; PLEASE i love wholesome best friend plots. it doesn’t matter if they met in san verto or philly

roomies pls !!! i would love it if he could have some roommates who have to deal with his very . peculiar decorating habits 

co workers ?? customers ? regulars ? he works at hall of film ! 

like this to plot or hmu !

[sukirichi]

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ] 

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan​

from track 007. 

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

 YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ] 

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

[justalitlecreacher]

I’m here to prove that Andrew Garfield’s portrayal of Spider-man/peter parker in The Amazing Spider-Man is objectively the best love action adaptation of the character. In this essay I will....(yes this is really happening)

Edit: 10/20/20- i want to indulge myself in spiderman content but finding non mcu spiderman content is exhausting so imma update this instead

TL;DR

Andrew Garfield is my favorite of the 3 Spider-Man actors. TAS’s Peter is more fun and dynamic than the cookie cutter “shy introverted nerd that has a crush on a girl who’s way out of his league” Peter in Tobey Maguire’s movies. I enjoy Tom Holland’s portrayal of the character, but hate the way Disney has written the movies.  I enjoy the characters, plot, and humor of The Amazing Spider-Man far more than the other 2, and i deeply wish we had gotten the third movie with the canon BIder-Man of Andrew’s (and my) dreams.

[DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NOT SEEN THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 OR ANY MCU SPIDERMAN MOVIES OUTSIDE OF CLIPS AND REVIEWS ITS ALSO BEEN A VERY HOT MINUTE SINCE IVE SEEN A TOBEY MAGUIRE MOVIE]

Characterization

  Most arguments against Andrew Garfield’s Spidey( AG’s from now on) begin and ends with “he was a good Spider-Man but a bad Peter Parker”. This references an outdated post comparing all three Spidey actors.(Id attach the image here but i dont want the post to be too long(thats a lie this is so long what am i doing with my life)) The post also claims that Tobey played a good Peter and a poor Spidey; and that Tom is good at both “roles”.(Honestly I think it seems silly that this seems obey the “third time’s the charm” rule but thats just me).  Most people using this seem to be Tobey stans who have forgotten or ignored the rest of the post funnily enough, but the ones that go further into the WHY AG is a poor Peter are also incorrect. This argument also ignores the idea that there can be more than one version of Peter Parker which is blatantly incorrect.  Just look at Into the Spiderverse or the PS4 game; these provide 4(5 if you count the pig) versions of Peter themselves, and that doesnt even include the comics. 

 Arguments that go further in depth claim that the AS Peter is too cool or well liked by his peer to be a “true” Peter Parker. The evidence for this seems to be that Peter has a skateboard.(which what? didnt realize that having a skateboard would instantly make you cool brb guys). Adding to that i dont really see where people get the idea that Peter is popular or well liked. While looking for complaints i found this qutoe from reddit(theyve since deleted it looks like but i’ll add a link in the notes) “He's angsty, pretty socially awkward, has an aptitude for science, and is kind of an outsider. He gets bullied by Flash and he gets his ass kicked after trying to stand up to Flash. He isn't a "cool" person in any way (until the ending, in which he's best buds with Flash, so I'll give you that). While Maguire is more accurate to the 60s comics where Peter in high school is just a fucking loser with basically no friends, in the ultimate comics, Peter is more of the kid who has a small amount of friends, but isn't popular.”. Honesty i fully agree with this because once again, other versions of a character are allowed to exist. You can dislike one version, but its silly to dislike something for not being exactly like another thing.

Ive also heard that Peter isnt “nerdy enough” in this movie which really doesnt make any sense considering the entire plot happens because Peter was looking into some of his parents’ research. If he wasn't interested in looking further into his father’s work what reason would he have to go to Oscorp where he’s bitten by the spider? Why would he have become Dr. Conner’s assistant? If he wasn’t intelligent how did he develop the web shooters?(something that Tobey!Peter doesn't have to do out of plot convenience might i add).  

 Another complaint i see is that the quips he uses in the movie(the first one specifically it seems) makes him seem like an asshole. Honestly thats a fair complaint, but i think its a good bit of characterization; espcially if he does get better about it in the second movie like the internet suggests.The Peter in this movie is a rightfully angsty teen; of course he acts a bit of an ass to criminals(also i feel like its important to mention that he’s like that to criminals? its not like hes being a dick for no reason).

  Compare this with the Tobey Maguire(TM) movies. Like i said i haven’t seen these in awhile but as far as i’m aware TM’s Peter doesn't really do anything particularly nerdy in the film? I may have forgotten something( ok in the scene before he gets bitten he knows a cool spider fact) but he doesn’t have to invent the web-shooters because they came with his powers and he’s only at Oscorp in the first place because it’s a school field trip that he appears to be taking photos for. This Peter does fit the definition of outcast(friendless and bullied for it), but honestly i just dont like him. He’s weird and something about the character makes me feel like i should be a little grossed out every time he looks at MJ at the beginning of the movie.  

   I honestly don’t have any complaints for Tom Holland’s(TH’s)Spidey. Tom is a great actor and from what ive seen i enjoy his portrayal of the character.( He made me cry when i character i actively dislike died).  

Story

  I cant really say much for TAS story. It’s interesting but nothing special really. However, there is one scene that i don’t think i’ve seen anything like since( the closest would probably be the train scene in the original trilogy). 

 The crane scene. Early in the film Peter saves a boy from a car that has fallen off of a bridge, and at the end of the movie this becomes relevant again when it is uncertain that Peter will be able to get to the lizard to stop him in time.(as Peter is already injured and pretty far from the lizard’s location). The boy’s father is then revealed to be a construction worker who recognizes that Spider-man is going to need help to get to the lizard; he remembers how Spider-Man saved his son and organizes the rest of the construction workers to build a path out of crane arms for SM to swing from. All of them are putting themselves in danger by not evacuating, but SM’s actions in the first act of the film motivate them to do what’s right. 

  I love this scene primarily because it highlights something that i think is a really important part of Spider-Man’s character; his connection to the people he saves. SM is often shown interacting with and chatting with the people he has saved after the fact. One comic shows Peter accidentally scaring some bullies and then taking the time to ride the bus to school with them to continue their conversation and educate the students on bullying.( There’s definitely more but this is off the top of my head).

  Another scene in TAS that i love is shortly before the crane scene when Peter is originally attempting to make his way across the city to stop the lizard, and he is shot down by the police. They manage to unmask him before Peter comes to his senses( he had just been shot and fallen pretty far out of the sky in his defense). From there Peter is able to deal with the police while keeping any of them from getting a good look at his face. The one cop he cant take out happens to be Gwen Stacey’s father who had previously had an argument with Peter about Spider-Man(Peter obviously on SM’s side and Mr. Stacey against SM). Peter turns and allows Captain(?) Stacey to see his face. I believe that this is an example of an unwilling identity reveal done right. i really enjoyed this moment because Peter had just shown that he likely could have gotten out of this encounter with his identity in tact as he had just taken down however many men. This implies that it was an active choice on Peter’s end to trust that Captain Stacey would ultimately do the right thing and allow Peter to go fight the Lizard, rather than a final desperate attempt to get away unscathed. Whether or not this interpretation of the scene is correct or not it still gives the character a bit more agency than some versions have done with their identity reveals.

  In Spider-Man 2 Peter starts to lose his powers because he’s having internal conflict about wether or not he should be Spider-Man. Honestly thats kinda neat and i might want to give that a rewatch. As for the one i have seen i don’t have any complaints. I do however prefer the way that Peter was bitten in TAS because it was a result of him poking around where he shouldn’t’ve been rather than him just happening to be standing in the right place for a spider to land on him. 

  Onto TH’s movies; the way Disney has treated Spidey in the MCU is why TH’s is my least favorite version of the character. I feel like too much of the story revolves around Iron Man; Iron Man made Peter’s suit and equipment, Iron Man introduces Peter to the MCU(via blackmail but thats another rant for another annoyingly long post), its Iron Man that “makes” Spidey in this universe rather than Spidey being self-made. In Homecoming(which remember i havent seen outside of clips so bear with me) most of the conflict is cause directly or indirectly by Tony’s refusal or inabilty to communicate with the teenager he’s meant to be mentoring

 For one the entire incident with the ferry could have very easily been avoided had Tony bothered to communicate with Peter enough to tell him that the situation was being taken care of. On top of that at the moive’s climax Peter is shown trying to get in contact with Happy(from what ive picked up isnt he a chauffeur? like idk his deal i just know he’s someone Peter got pawned off onto after Civil War). Peter even goes as far as to somehow hack into Happy’s phone(i think thats what happened it was a weird tech thing that shouldve been a red flag that the call was important though) but instead of listening; Peter is ignored. If this was a different kind of movie Peter literally could have died and itd be the fault of Happy and Tony like..... A large portion of conflict comes from characters being incompetent and not communicating and thats just poor storytelling.

Before this turns too much into an anti mcu rant id also like to say that the way they did Civil War was really dumb considering that Peter defects to Cap’s side in the comics, but whatever.

 Also i loathe the way they handled the identity reveal at the end of Far From Home. With MCU movies most people know to expect an end credits scene by now, but typically that scene is not important to understand what’s happening in the films; they just aren’t important. Putting an identity reveal here makes it seem significantly less important than it is. On top of that i dislike their use of J Jonah Jameson for this scene.

  JJJ is a character who has been repeatedly shown to have a genuinely good heart. All of his anger comes from a place of love for his city(he even says this hemself in the ps4 game when May writes in to tell him that he needs help). He hates Spider-Man because SM reminds him of the masked man who killed his wife; JJJ has never been able to get past that( and Peter’s antagonism of him definitely doesnt help) However, JJJ has been shown to care for people; he has a son who he often brags about, and one comic shows that JJJ is paying Peter for “amateur” quality photos because he knows that Peter is having a hard time and “just need some help”. JJJ has even learned Peter’s identity before and kept his secret for him(seriously though i cant remember the name of the comic but its defiantly worth the read), and in the original trilogy when Goblin threatens JJJ he claims that he doesn’t know who sends in the photos of Spidey because he does it via email( this is a lie). The MCU will have a very difficult time convincing me that JJJ would ever out a teenager’s identity and put him in danger like that. It goes too far against his character.(this could be hypocritical of me to say considering how i just insisted that multiple versions of a character can exist but whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 

This is accidentally turning into an MCU rant but id also like to say that i hate the lack of a TH!Spidey origin movie because it gives you no motivaion for Peter becoming SM or explanation of his powers; most people will know these things but if youre unfamiliar with the character its bound to be confusing(and im a sucker for origin movies)

[cheswirls]

i had that surgery between posting abt tokrev and now n took a break from reading and so the first half of tenjiku arc is fuzzy BUT i did finish it today so heres an  update, ~190 chapters in

ive been vague b4 but this one will DEF have spoilers im talking openly abt so if you havent finished tenjiku arc dont read anymoreeee

i think i started last time abt the emma ch so to start off this one w the emma ch bc. damn. i think besides being absolutely heartbreaking this cemented kisaki as not necessary the enemy, but as someone who has done wrong. kisaki has been the main villain this entire time, but i mentioned this last time, its different being told someone has done something vs seeing it. besides him n hanma beating up chifuyu, everything kisaki has done hasnt had any proof to it. even when he says  something akin to ‘damn my plan is foiled’ its less admission when theres nothing to back it.

but emma changes that. now theres a homicide associated w kisaki. now theres a bad thing hes done right in front of the mc, and for all the viewers/readers to see. now hes equivocated w the death of emma. 

i think emmas death matters for two reasons, and one more than the other. the first is the impact it has on mikey. its shown a few times now what death will do to him, like w shinichirou and baji, but w emma it hits different. im gonna contrast her and baji on both points, not to take away from baji’s death, but to add to emmas.

if im not mistaken a majority of baji scenes were only shown after his death. i think it worked and the valhalla arc was  rly well structured, but what this left in turn was a sort of emptiness associated w baji dying. the readers didnt rly know him at all compared to some of the other toman captains, and it rly hadnt been shown yet wwhat his relationship w mikey was like. we see the effect it has in his rage towards kazu, and none of his grieving. even when at bajis grave, its chifuyu that gets a bigger focus than mikey. but w emma, it actively tears mikey up. he struggles to carry her to the hospital, hes visibly shaken when he tells takemichi shes grown cold, and hes absolutely dead inside when hina is crying at emmas corpse and drakon is yelling at him asking why he let it happen. it hits hard, and it shows, and it makes the impact that much harder, that she died in the past and theres no way tofix it. and the realization takemichi has right before, of ‘o yeah ive never seen grown emma come to think abt it’ then bam.

the second and much bigger point is the emotional impact is has on the reader. baji appears and is instantly a source of conflict. he outs himself from toman, he joins the enemy, he denounces chifuyu when questioned abt investigating kisaki. theres no reason to trust him n no reason to think he’ll turn back, and then only thing there is mikey saying he wants baji back.

emma had that amazing chapter not long before, and shes had a few focal points previously, like on her birthday, and on new years, etc. we’ve seen her as an individual first, then as mikey’s sister, and that makes a difference. seeing her even admitting izana was her brother rly hit different bc its emma, the emma that grew up w shin and mikey but had another life before that. that was the connection i kept making, even as izana explained he had more relation w shinichirou, bc it was mentioned by emma first, bc emma remembered him, after all those years. knowing izana was involved w her death made it hit harder. it hits harder in general bc its emma, someone whos been around since the beginning, and been explored more in depth. i felt sad when baji died, but i was destroyed and heartbroken when emma died.

which, going back, makes kisaki in turn absolutely despicable. deplorable. abhorrent. unforgivable. even more so when he shoots kaku, and then izana, thrice, and then izana dies. i still rly didnt. get? izanas motivations, but i started to feel for him thru mikey, when he realized it was izana shin meant when he asked abt a second older brother. kaku getting shot was unexpected and almost worse than emma in the moment, bc kisaki had a gun and even knives were kinda taboo weapons, guns were completely off the table, and he shot five times andinjured three people w every shot. im glad the tenjiku members that stayed behind told police abt kisaki bc the entire time he was running i was like um??? and even B4 that i was like hey no mikey you dont need to stay, yall jus nee to beat kisaki into submission n have him confess bc the gun is right there, the bullets are there, cmon now.

but then kisaki dies/????? the way its set up made me go crazy, thinkin someone did it purposely, but then the driver was a nobody, and then hes still alive after impact???? big surprise honestly. but then his arm n leg are emessed up, n he says he cant get up, n it took me a sec to realize he prolly lost coordination n not jus bc of one leg, like he prolly couldnt sit up at all, then he up n died rightthere. 

b4 thattho, was the confirmation. i completely always thought kisaki wasnt a timeleaper, i thought takemichi made atheory but  it was baseless, i didnt rly like it, and then the scene during the vs tenjiku when he says future stuff n kisakis like what?? are yiu talking abt??? BUT THEN then have their standoff in the same parking lot n kisaki says you are a timeleaper and i was like what? he can also??? but then he coudnt! he admitted, was like no in ever could, which means someone else is pulling strings if there is another timeleaper, andmy moneys on hanma, the only other one whos been around the whole time. maybe ill b surprised but i f its not him then theres not another one, imo.

kisaki dying caught me off guard. his whole ten year plan was absolutely nuts, ic ant believe he thought he could go up to hina n straight propose n she would say yes, like honestly would she even remember him at that point? regardless i knew from the cram school chapters that there was some connection there, but i didnt think hina dying was some jealousy-fueled hate revenge plot. wild. but now the “main” villain is dead so what goes from here? we willn see.

i am rly glad kaku made it out. tallying 3 deaths in the kanto incident was so confusing w emma being one of them but the reveal that kaku was alive was rly something. i hope more comes from him!! the setup between him n takemichi was rly rly nice!!!! i wanna see more

i am kinda sad abt coco, bc thesetup of takemichi protecting him from div5 was great, n inui is a permanant fixture in div1 now, so to see coco decide to split was kinda sad. hope he doesnt go down the wrong path. kinda expected to see more knowing how popular him n inui are?? but nontheless

and smiley and angry were so good!! souta and kawata are amazing and souta was not like what i was expecting at all, n now knowing that he cares a lot n is not rly a fighter but iss till in toman jus. rly speaks a lot abt mikeys judge of character n kawatas older brotherschtich that they would let him be vice of div4. seeing what kawata and mitsuya both did during tenjiku arc was rly nice. 

and then hina telling drakon andmikey!!! surprised they believed, but it rly will mak things move now. for ex the gun scene where hes abt to shoot kisaki, rly ready to end it, but then hina n mikey rush in. i rly like that knowing that they both know this takemici is from the future, bc they panic but their faith in him isnt lost ,y’know? like they see him desperate, n drakon has a great line abt takemichi’s desperation, theyre not seeing their friend abt toshoot someone n freaking, n they wont judge his sense of character off of that,instead theyre seeing the desperation of someone who wants things to change, and know they can talk him out of it, or if not that then at least ,like, its not going to change what they think abt him. iunno jus. nice little detail i loved while reading that.

[yutadori]

whats some of your favorite mangas, falen? :D if you don't mind me asking? (you can include all genres too!)

HIIII MISS KC!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖 omg YES of course i dont mind you asking omg im happy to hear that youre interested!! answers will be under the cut because i love to talk gdfggfdsdf

(in no particular order) -dungeon meshi: dunmeshi is one the mangas ive read recently and i !!! love it so much omg! i love the characters sooo much theyre so lovable and i adore how interesting and different they are, not just in terms of personality but physical appearance too!! throughout the series, the mangaka draws the characters in different body types and theyre not ridiculed for it and it’s v nice to see (’’: i think what i really love about dunmeshi would have to be its characters, humor (oh my god it’s so funny and it has a nice balance of humor and seriousness), and its emphasis on connections! oh wait i forgot to say the summary gfdsgdfg so basically this guy’s sister gets eaten by a dragon when she protected him while they were traveling in a dungeon. thing is, she didnt Die because it takes the dragon a month to digest gdfsghfd so he and his teammates go and save her! on the way there, they have to eat to survive but they dont have any money to purchase food so they have to kll and cook the monsters (its nothing gory, from what i can remember) and theres a Lot of focus on eating and that Nice feelinig that comes with eating and sharing food with others and it just feels so warm (’’: the manga also emphasizes taking care of yourself, like there was a part where one of the charas wanted to rush into battle while they werent doing so well but the other charas reminded them how important it is to be well rested and fed and that it wouldnt be a good decision to advance while injured and i was like (’’’: it was v refreshing to see esp in a shounen (i think its shounen fdsgf) manga!! definitely definitely one of my fave manga!! 💖💖 omg i almost forgot but if you do!! decide to read it, please let me know because theres sorta? a tw for what felt like a sexual assault scene?? i dont think it was one Technically but i feel like it could be triggering ): it’s a short scene but i could tell you the chapters and pages and everything! other than that i dont think there are other tws !

-horimiya: horimiya!!! another series that i started this summer! id never really heard of it until recently when the anime was announced and i was really interested to see what it was since a Lot of people knew about it and liked it!! and im so glad i did omggggg i dont know if you know what its about but just in case you dont, it’s about this girl whos a popular student at her high school and she dresses up in makeup + styles her hair v nicely but at home, she takes all that off and is a comfortable version of herself. the other main character is known to be quiet and mysterious at school but he actually wears his hair up and has a bunch of piercings! they both keep these sides hidden from people at school but one day they both encounter each other and are like 0: they become friends!!! and i really really enjoyed seeing their friendship develop! the charas are so good i absolutely adore them, i feel like it’s such an easy and lighthearted read. the main guy’s chara dev is definitely one of my faves it’s v heartwarming (’’:  -akatsuki no yona: omg.... YONA!!!!! so i originally watched the anime like..... five years ago omg with my friend and even though i wasnt much of a manga reader at the time, i picked up the manga and omg !!!! it’s so good... the art is soooo pretty and it’s nice seeing the mangaka’s improvement!! theres a bit..... that i dont understand about the series like the fighting part fsdgfg BUT i enjoy the characters and their relationships a lot ;----; i love love LOVE yona’s character development, she’s honestly come so so far from the beginning and im so proud of her T__T i just adore how strong but also how kind and empathetic she is 💖💖 i also love the dragons and hak and yun theyre so funny omg  -spy x family: !! a newer shounen series that’s at 37 chapters right now!! omg i really like spy x family so it’s about this spy who, for his current mission, has to have a fake family in order to execute it properly. he adopts a little girl (whos the cutest omg shes so funny) but he’s unaware that shes telepathic, and for his wife he finds a lady who’s also in a situation where she needs a fake partner but she’s an assassin (A REALLY COOL ONE) and he has no idea either LOL. so they all live together and have No idea about each others abilities and live a normal life as they carry out their missions etc and it’s really good and pretty lighthearted overall!! 

-jujutsu kaisen: (jjk manga spoilers) okay i know everyone knows about jjk but i HAVE to talk about it because i havent gushed about it in so long fdjsghfsdjghf i wish i had a bigger brain so i could fully appreciate jjk for all the it is but here we are fdghgfdhf anyway i’d say what i adore the most about jjk is definitely the charas, specifically the main trio 💖💖 i love how dumb they all are gfgfsg like oh my god theyre so FUNNYYYY like nobara and yuujis interactions always make me laugh gfdsg and the scene where nobarar spilled coffee onto gojos 54353453 yen shirt and they clean it up?? CHERISHED scene that ill remember forever!!!!!!! i just love how silly they all are and i love that theyre not competing with each other in an unhealthy way ?? like they all care about each other so much... SOB T_____T LIKE the obedience arc is possibly my fave arc because of their dev like ??? when yuuji and nobara told megumi that he doesnt share anything about himself but they can trust him because theyre friends??? SOB........ and oh my god their fights in that arc.... fuckkkk !!! okay anyway gsjhgdfjg i also love love the humor in jjk SOOO MUCH oh my god how the hell is gege so fucking funny like??? gsshfghgh god i love it so much... and i love how well rounded the charas can be and how their reasons for doing things isnt always because of some like honorable reason like they do things for their own reasons and thats okay!!! and oh also i love that there are a lot of girls and that they arent sexualized (from what i can remem) like.... thank you 

reading the manga has been such a ride too like MAN the shift from the beginning to the arc where they flashback to shouko, getou, and gojo when they were younger umm.... i fucking felt that??? i feel like i need to reread it to appreciate more because it was so wow and also the whole shibuya arc has been so gdfsgg i just... so much has happened... i want THERAPY for my kids!!!!!! im really really interested to see how this arc ends and whats going to happen next hhhhh 

YAY weve reached the end fkgsdkgl omg im so sorry that this is so long sdjghj but thank youuuu for asking miss kc!!!!!! i hope youre doing well and staying safe!! 💖💖