#i didnt proof read and im sure i missed something

[soggyriceee]

red handed | yandere!konig

THIS WAS A REQUEST BUT IT GOT FUCKING DELETED IM SO SORRY TO WHOEVER REQUESTED IT I MADE THIS EXTRA SMUTTY JUST FOR YOU I HOPE YOU FIND THIS

summary: Konig is crazy possessive and jealous. You become too close to a guy and he doesn't like that, so he takes matters into his own hands

warning: female!reader, blood, murder, unprotected p in v, mommy kink, breeding kink, knives, not proof read yet

Konig kept you in the house always. he never trusted anyone to not try and get at you. ever. you were gorgeous, his ideal woman. and he was not going to let you get away, not that easy. anytime you wanted to leave he'd always begin to cry. "why do you want to leave me libeling." he'd cry, gripping onto your waist, pulling you back onto the couch. he'd cry and cry and cry until you told him you were joking, even though you weren't. he'd wipe his eyes and look up at you. "I dont like that joke mommy, you know that." he'd say, going back to hugging you.

you never questioned why he acted the way he did. he as always like this, and something about it attracted you to him. the way he'd call you mommy, but tell you that you couldnt leave. boss you around. "mommy go make me food, im hungry." he'd say, letting releasing your boob from his mouth. yea, that was another thing he aways did. anytime you both were cuddling, he'd pull your boob out from your shirt, placing it in his mouth and lay on your chest. it was cute.

whenever you both would have sex, he'd boss you around to. "get on your knees mommy, gonna fuck that throat." and he always did. he'd always whimper how good you treat him, how your only his. your contact with family was limited as well. he didnt have any family to talk to, he only had you. and he only wanted you to have him. of course your family had tried to help you get out that relationship, but you couldnt leave Konig. no matter how controlling or crazy he was, you loved him. and he loved you. but, he loved you a bit too much.

"mommy im going to go to the store now. do you need anything?" he'd ask, placing the pink glittery collar on your neck, tying the rope of it to the coffee table. you had grown accustom to this now. you actually enjoyed it. especially since he did it to make sure you would never escape while he was gone. "mm some ice cream?" you asked, looking up at him. he smiled and nodded, leaning down to kiss you. "anything for you mommy. ill be back." he grabbed the keys before turning back to you. "you better still be there when I come back." he said before leaving the house.

and you did. for a bit. it was a sunny day outside, windy. it was the perfect weather. you hadn't seen outside in so long. he always had the patio door locked. "you can escape if I leave it open." he told you. but you wouldn't escape. you were happy where you were right now. but that didnt mean you dont miss the outside. you looked at the TV, watching the girl run around outside, her boyfriend following her. they both looked so happy. why couldnt that be you and Konig?

you knew Konig would be gone for a while. you both lived about 15 miles from a store. plus traffic. you had a good hour and a half before he'd come home. so, with all the strength you had, you began to untie the knot. he never made them too tight. he didnt wanna kill you. he just wanted to keep you still.

you had gotten the knot undone and watched the knot fall to the floor. you swallowed before standing slowly, looking to the front door. you hadn't been outside in so long. and Konig always made it seem like it was the worst out there. "people will murder you mommy. they walk around with knives, guns." he'd tell you every time you look at the door. one time, he actually got angry at you for talking about going outside and tied you to the table, keeping you there for two days. of course he fed you, gave you water. "I dont want to do this but you cant leave me mommy. ever."

so justifiably, you were a bit hesitant. but you made your way to the door, putting on his big shoes, since you no longer had a pair of your own. you gripped the knob tightly, turning it slowly. when you opened the door, the wind blew so softly in your face. it was nice. the sun was out, birds were chirping. there wasn't too many cars outside. you had completely forgotten what it looked like outside your neighborhood. you took a step down, closing the door behind you.

"hey! haven't seen you in a while!" a deep voice called out. you jumped and tried around, meeting eyes with your neighbor, Jackson. "oh hi.. uh.." "Jackson." he laughed, putting the hose down. he jogged over to you, looking at you with a questioning look. "uh whats with the.. collar." he asked, meeting your worried gaze all over. your hand ran over the collar, remembering what Konig said before he left. "u-uh i.. uhm.." you were quickly growing panicked and Jackson caught on almost immediately.

"sit down. I can take it off of you." he said gently, grabbing your hand slowly, trying his hardest not to scare you. you sat on the concrete steps, watching his every move. "d-do you have a gun?" you asked, remembering all the stories Konig had told you. Jackson laughed, looking up at you. but when he realized you were serious, he cleared his throat. "no why..why would I have a gun on me?" he asked. he leaned in close, his hands reaching the back of your neck to undo the collar. his lips were super close, but he never placed them onto yours.

"there." he smiled, moving away. you felt your neck relax, the collar in his hands. " I dont know what Konig has going on in there. he never talks to anyone. ever. I do get worried because you know, nobody can even see inside the house." he said, looking to the door. "does he just keep you in there?" he asked after a moment of silence. you didnt answer. ".. you know. my sister, she was in a relationship like yours. abusive boyfriend. I can get her to talk to you she's actually in th-" "he doesn't abuse me. he treats me really well. he just.. gets scared that ill leave." you said, looking up and down the street. you had no clue what his car looked like, but you looked regardless.

"is that why you have a collar on?" he asked, leaning forward to meet your gaze. you remained silent. "I like things like that." you finally said, maintaining eye contact. he sighed and pursed his lips before standing. " come to my house. I can give you some food. water. whatever you need." he said, reaching his hand out. you looked at it for a moment before looking down. " I have a cat. two." he said, catching your attention. "cats?"

he nodded, a smile forming on his lips. "two cats. it can be for a bit. before he comes home." he said. you were hesitant, looking back into the street. what would happen if Konig came back and saw you weren't in your usual spot? or even in the house? what would happen if he saw you in another mans house? "hey. it'll be for 15 minuets. max. then you can go back. I just wanna make sure you got food and water." he said, kneeling down in front of you. why did he think you were getting abused? you said you weren't. "I already ate today but.. can I play with your cats?" you asked, taking his hand that still hung out. he smiled and nodded, pulling you up. "of course. their names are snowy and rain. one is super white and the other is grey." he said, helping you to his home.

every time Konig left you did this. and you have yet to be caught. it was nice, having a whole new friend. he was super kind, a completely different person than Konig. but you still felt bad for lying to Konig. you weren't cheating, you knew that. but it was nice to make a friend and talk to someone outside those four walls. "I found the ice cream you like by the way, ill bring it to you whenever you come back next." he smiled, walking you back to your house. " oh you didnt have to." you said, stepping onto the first step.

you turned to him, smiling up at him. " yea but.. I guess I just care too much about the small things you say." he said, a soft smile on his face. you looked down, feeling awkward at how close he was. " I uhm.. I wanna take you away from him. you deserve to see the outside, your not some pet." he said, grabbing your chin to lift your head softly. his eyes wandered to your lips, swallowing. " you deserve better." he mumbled, leaning in slow.

you backed away, looking down to your feet. "Jackson im happy here.. I like being in there like that." you said softly. he sighed, lifting your chin again. " why cant you see hes abusing you? ive seen what abuse is before please just-" before he could finish his sentence his body was yanked back, an angry, no. not angry. a furious Konig standing in front of you now. you immediately began to feel dizzy, like you were about to puke. he looked into your eyes, his eye twitching. Jackson groaned below you both, rubbing his throat where his collar was pulled.

"K-Konig I j-just w-" he stepped over Jackson, gripping your wrist and turning you around. he opened the door from behind you, shoving you inside. he closed the door behind him, watching you walk backwards. "mommy who was that? why did you leave? I told you not to leave." he said, walking towards you, long and powerful strides. " h-hes a friend I promise. I just w-wanted to go outside it g-got hot in here." you said, tripping over pure air, falling to the floor. you hit your head on the ground, gripping it. he stood, watching you below him. " am I not good enough? he could have killed you mommy. people have guns. and knives." he said, voice flat. "he doesn't have a gun Konig.. he told me." you replied, wiping your eyes from the impact.

he grabbed your arm, yanking you up. he dragged you into the bedroom, shoving you to the bed. you looked up at him and saw tears in his eyes. "mommy am I not good enough for you? do you not trust me?" he cried, wiping his eyes. you didn't know what to do. you were scared, but hurt. you didn't want to hurt him. you just wanted new friends. "konig I just-" he took the photo of you both on the night stand, throwing it across the room. you jumped, looking down. " mommy you-you broke your promise. you promised you'd stay." he cried, walking over to you.

he pushed you on the bed, laying on top of you. he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in tight. "i..i'm sorry." you said, still confused on what to do. he sniffled into your shirt. "promise..promise you won't talk to him. every again." he said, looking up at you. of course you didn't want to stop. you had made a friend. a nice person. but Konig was much more important, you couldn't lose him. so you nodded, softly saying 'okay'. he smiled and nodded, laying back on your head. "ill even make sure of it.." he whispered, quietly enough for you to not hear.

__

you hadn't realized it, but you had fallen asleep shortly after Konig telling you to never leave again. you also woke up to an empty bed. rubbing your eyes, you turned to the alarm clock on his side of the bed. it read 9:20 PM. "how long was I out.." you mumbled. shuffling off the bed, you began to look for your boyfriend, calling misname out softly. you didnt know if he was still mad, or if he was somewhere taking some drastic measure to make you stay in this house with him like boarding up the windows or something.

you yawned, walking down the hall. "konig.." you called out again, peeking your head into the bathroom before making you way into the living room. no lights were on and that terrified you. Konig was not one to leave you alone without telling you. you switched the living room light on, eyes landing right onto Konig's phone. you grabbed it, opening it. he had given you his password for his phone in case you wanted to play games while he made you dinner. he trusted you not to do anything stupid.

just as you were about to explore the rest of your home, you heard a scream from outside. a male scream. you jumped at first, but then turned to the patio door. it was dark outside, the only light coming from the cheap, old street lights. you swallowed and walked over to the patio, pulling the curtains back a bit more to see what was going on. the first thing you saw, was your Jackson's front door wide open, the light from inside his house illuminating the front half of his home. then, your eyes scanned the distance from his house to yours, landing on a figure only 2 feet from where your patio was.

the screaming was no more, it came and went very quickly. but you couldnt stop your hands from shaking as you watched this tall figure's arms move up and slam back down. you didnt have the best hearing, but you were sure you heard some sort of squelching every time this figures arms went down. you felt like you were going to be sick. even more so, you were scarred this man was going to come for you next. Konig wasn't here to protect you. you'd die in this house alone, cut up into small enough pieces to eat.

you felt like a deer in headlights, watching your neighbor be stabbed to death. and it lasted quite a while. the more you watched, the more scared you got. but then, you heard the figures voice. " that'll keep you away." he said, or you ended up making out. the phone in your hand dropped when you realized that figure wasn't some random murderer. it was Konig.

he stood from his kneeled position, wiping his hands on his shirt. he walked over the now limp body on the floor, grabbing a shovel from beside him. you watched as Konig began to shovel into the dirt, obviously making a grave for this poor man. well, was it a poor man? you tried to feel sad. and you think a part of you did. I mean, you just watched someone get fucking murdered. but at the same time, you sorta liked how Konig was so protective and crazy over you.

of course killing someone may be extreme in any case of jealousy, but seeing how far he would go just to keep you with him made your thighs clench together. seeing how he truly believed with his whole heart that you were only his, nobody else can touch you or even be close to you. you know you should feel scared of him at this time, but you didnt. you felt honored, and honestly safe. you had a man who would do anything to make you feel safe, protected. and he wasn't going to ever let you go. you felt genuinely loved and wanted. but maybe that was the months and months of Konig's personality and his own craziness getting to you.

and so, you watched as he dragged Jackson into the hole, quickly covering him back up with dirt. you were a bit scared Konig would be caught, but that was a situation for later. right now, more than anything, you wanted to show him just how much hes made you needy for him.

he patted the area down, trying to make it look less suspicious before making his way back to the patio. his eyes landed on yours once he came up to the door, the shovel in his hand dropping. you slowly slid the door open, looking up at him. it was silent. he didnt say anything, but the tears were not shy of coming out his eyes. " mommy im so.. sorry. did you see-" " everything. I did." you said, looking at his bloody neck and face. his hands were no different, if anything they were worse. his clothes were stained red as well.

he dropped to the floor, burying his head in his hands. sobs escaped from him, loud sobs. " konig come inside please, you'll wake the neighborhood." you said, dragging him by his arms into the house. it obviously took a bit, given his large size, but he eventually was inside, back pressed against the patio door. you sighed and sat in front of him, taking his bloody, shaky hands from his face. " konig please..please look at me." you said, wrapping your hands around two of his large fingers. he sniffled and looked up at you, the blood from his face dripping down.

"i..God.. I liked what you did." you mumbled, looking to his chest. he sniffled once more, looking at you. " what?" he asked, his voice still shaky from being caught. you sighed and scooted forwards onto his lap, looking in his eyes. his watery, doe eyes. he was so beautiful, even when he was covered in blood. " I like how protective you are. how jealous you get. I love it, actually. I love all of it." you said, cupping his face. your thumb slipped the mis of tears and blood away, giving him a soft smile. "really? oh mommy thats such good news." he smiled, pulling you into a hug. you giggled and hugged him back, biting your bottom lip.

of course your main goal was to calm him down, but your second goal was to get him to fuck you. you couldn't stop the throbbing feeling from between your thighs. as he told you how much he loved you into your chest, not even thinking about fucking you, you began to grind yourself slowly, subtly on his thighs. and at first he simply thought you were re adjusting yourself. but when tiny little moans began to come from you, and your hips moved just a bit faster, he quickly caught onto what you were doing. he smiled into your chest, biting the shirt you had on.

" mommy.." he cooed, hand finding your ass. he gripped it, dragging your hips faster. " are you horny right now?" he asked, looking up at you from your shirt. you were embarrassed. I mean he just killed a man and here you were trying to get off. but you couldnt stop the 'yes' that came out of you. he smiled and leaned back onto the patio door, the blood on him only adding to the sensation you felt.

his thigh began to gently bounce below you, his eyes going from innocent to dark in a matter of seconds. he watched as your hips moved faster on his thigh, watching your body lean forward. your mouth fell ajar, the prettiest of whimpers coming from you as you moved yourself perfectly on his thigh, giving your clit the right amount of attention. " mommy likes seeing her baby boy kill for her isn't that right?" he whispered, his free hand working up your shirt. you felt the cold blood on his hands as he gripped your breast, his fingers quick to roll your nipple in between his fingers.

you nodded, looking down to see his thigh bounce faster, but not too fast. just enough to get you to the edge. " well your baby boy would kill for you any time mommy." he said, guiding your hips faster to match the pace of his thigh. he leaned in, his other hand still working on your nipple. " id kill a hundred men for you, just to keep you in this house. keep you here for me mommy. only me." your head fell into his neck, covering your forehead in blood. the knot in your stomach was slowly coming loose and he knew it just by the sounds of those pretty little whined you let slip from out of you.

"come on mommy let it go.. cum for me. cum for your good boy." he begged, a whine coming from him. the tent in his pants only made it harder for you to hold back your orgasm and before you knew it, your body tensed up, sinful sounds escaping your lips. he moaned at the wet spot that formed on his thigh, bleeding (hehe) through his thin sweatpants. you clothed onto him, feeling your whole body shake as you came down, his thigh slowing down to help yo pride out your high. when you pulled away, he groaned at the blood that was dripping down your face.

" ride me mommy, come on." he said, his hands moving quickly to the waistband of his pants, pulling them down. you fell off his lap, but quickly went back to your place. the night shorts you had on, he slid to the side, exposing your wet, dripping cunt. he whined at the sight, bitting his bottom him. " well come on mommy its your dick. ride it." he said, looking up at you. you wasted little time in positioning yourself over his tip, sliding down. you wanted to go slow, get yourself used to the feeling again, but Konig had other plans.

his hands gripped your hips and shoved you down, his head thrown back against the glass, a pained whimper leaving your lips. he raised your hips, looking down at the small amount of blood on his dick. your blood. he moaned at the sight before slamming you back down. your hands gripped his shoulders, your eyes squeezing shut. he gave you no time to adjust to him, but that was also something that turned you on. "come on mommy ride it. show me how much of a good boy I was for killing him." he whined, slapping your face gently to open your eyes.

your hips began to move up and down, slowly at first. you gasped as his size continued to stretch your cunt out, slowly picking up the pace afterwards. his hands gripped onto your hips harder, a whimper leaving his lips every time you went back down on him. his eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth left open slightly. you looked at him and as badly as you wanted to kiss him, you didnt want the blood in your mouth. " oh mommy your..doing so fucking good~ please tell me im a good boy" he whined, looking down at you as you bounced up and down, up and down.

" y-yours such a good..good boy baby. such a good boy" you cooed, adjusting yourself so you now were in a squatting position, feet pressed flat to the ground. he moaned as your praised him, the switch in position making his hips buck up. your own head fell back as you felt him reach your cervix, but your hips never stopping. " your my mommy.. all fucking mine." he growled, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his chest. his hips thrusted up into you, fast and deep. his balls slapped right at the bottom of your arse, adding to the already sloppy sounds of his dick moving in and out your cunt.

your hands pressed onto the patio door, your mouth left wide open. both of you let out moans and whimpers with each thrust of his hips, not only the feeling of love but the feeling of possessiveness floating in the air. " fuck your so tight mommy, love fucking your cunt. only I can right? only y-your baby..boy can?" he asked, gripping your tighter. you nodded quickly, trying your hardest to get words out but they never came. he slid out and pushed you off him, making your body fall back. he dragged you back to him by your ankles, hovering over your body. he gripped his base and slammed it right back into where it belonged, hips jutting into yours all over.

his hands gripped your calves, pulling your legs over his shoulders. your back arched off the cold floor, hands gripping the coffee table right behind you. " all m-mine.. " he whimpered, his head dropping into your chest, your body folding forward more. " im yours b-baby.. forever." you moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head. he picked his head up, looking down at you. he loved seeing you react to him fucking you, loved seeing the way your wet lips were parted, the blood on your face dripping down to your neck. " gonna make you fucking pregnant mommy. gonna be mine- fuck - forever. you understand?" he moaned, his hand finding your throat and gripping it.

you nodded, choking out a 'yes'. his looked down, watching your cunt form bubbled of your slick around his dick, the squelching sounds growing louder as his pace picked up. " fuck mommy~ this pussy is s-so good" he whined, his eyes crossing as he felt his orgasm reaching him. your hands gripped onto the table harder, mouth falling ajar. his thrusts began to jerk your own body forward, legs still around his shoulders. the knot that you felt moments ago was back, and it was coming fast.

" keep going Konig p-please.. im gonna c-cum!" you whimpered, looking down at where his dick slammed into yours. your own juices were running down your arse, coating the inside of your thighs. " im n-not gonna stop mommy I promise.. please cum" he moaned, his head dropping back into your chest, the hand the was on your throat quickly began to pull your boob out from under your shirt, his lips finding the nipple. his tongue ran circles over the nipple, bitting it and occasionally pulling at it.

the only words that came from your lips at this moment was 'Konig'. the only words coming from him were 'mommy'. you began to pulse around his dick, his thrusts becoming sloppy too. " hold it mommy.. gonna c-cum together so fucking hold it." he whined, going right back to sucking on your nipple. you clenched around him trying to hold back your orgasm. but the way he was ramming into your g spot, hitting your cervix so painfully well. it was hard. and it didnt help that his cute little whimpers were going more frequent.

however, he raised his head, looking down at you with hooded eyes and wet lips. " cum mommy, please cum all over me." he begged, his thrusts becoming sloppy. you nodded quickly, releasing the grip from your cunt. he looked down as he watched your cum spurt out of you, covering his lower half and chest with it. that was enough to set him over the edge. " oh fuck- mommy~" he whined, giving you two final, hard thrusts before his cum shot deep into you. his hands found your hips, gripping onto them as his body shook. tears dropped from his eyes, small gasps to accompany them.

his body fell onto yours, still shaking from the powerful orgasm youth experienced. it was silent for a bit, the sound of heavy breathing filling the air, you felt his cum begin to seep out you and so did he. he raised himself slowly, looking back down to thrust his hips into yours. gently tho, he too was completely fucked out. " gotta keep.. my cum in you mommy." he breathed out, lazily thrusting his hips back int you.

when he pulled out he reached over to you, pulling you just enough so he could lift you into his arms. he kissed your cheek, and then slipped your boob into his mouth for a moment. releasing it with a pop, he looked up at you. " lets shower. then, we look for new places to live." he smiled. you giggled and nodded, resting your head into his bloody chest, replaying in your head what just happened.

to whoever requested this I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! I have no idea what the hell happened to your request I just opened Tumblr and the original post I was going to post was gone so I hope you find this <3

[mikgreo]

Gojo punishing his puppies!

satoru gojo, you, and his bff 🩷

nsfw minors dni.

au! where everyone is happy no one dies and theyre happy forever

satoru will always be here for his cute bunny!! even if his cute bunny decides to not be so innocent and turn out a cock hungry whore for his bsf, but thats okay! he can always punish you both. ♡

pairings: best friend! gojo x bimbo! reader , geto x bimbo! reader , geto x gojo

characters are probably ooc for the sake of the fic!! sorry..but hot men!!

Warnings: 18+ ,use of pet names, porn with the tiniest of plot, manhandling, degradation, threesome, oral (fem receiving), p/v sex, anal (masc recieving) pussy slapping, spitting, choking, slightest praise if you squint, virginity loss, hickeys, missionary, backshots. bimbo reader, lmk if i missed anything.

NOT PROOF READ SORRY!!😔

You knocked loudly on Gojo’s apartment door. You tried to clean up your runny nose, you did, and you also tried to stop your eyes from tearing up, but you couldn’t, not after you woke up extra early to get all cute for your boyfriend ex. you were supposed to go to a cute date just you and him, but instead you stood there like an idiot as you watched your own boyfriend make out with a girl outside the cafe you were supposed to meet him at.

you decided to show up early to surprise him. Instead he ended up surprising you. You didn’t bother confronting him. instead, you blocked him on everything. you didn’t know what to do, so you called your best friend.

“toru?” your voice clearly trembling from your crying.

“You okay, y/n? What happened, you sound shaken up-”

“Toru! are you home? need you really bad right now..please.” you didn’t know why you were calling him, it isn’t that serious.

“Yeah. ‘m home. friend’s over though, you sure you still w’na come?” he said, sounding unbothered. it was probably something about your boyfriend

“mhm. be there in 5.” you hung up. you wondered, was his friend cute?

here you were, infront of gojo’s door.

“Hey pretty, come in.” he hugged you slightly before you walked in

you bent over to kick your shoes off at the entrance. you only came to cuddle and let him comfort you like no other.

“ m’ so sorry im coming out of nowhere.” you smiled as you looked up at gojo through your lashes.

he was always taller than you maybe by a couple feet. you always admired his beauty, how his hair was so soft and perfectly layered. his blue eyes, the way he looked at you, a way he never looked at anyone else. his pale skin, and his pink perfect li- what am i thinking. you stopped before you got too carried away.

“dont worry sweetheart, its nothing. come, let me introduce you to suguru.” he took your wrist gently and pull you into the living room.

suguru? you thought. a part of you wished he looked as good as gojo.

“Suguru, this is y/n. Y/n this is Geto. I think its funny how both of my best friends have never met eachother.” he let out a slight laugh. so cute you thought.

“hi geto kun.” you gave him a bright smile. slightly crossing one arm to your other to press your boobs together “its nice to meet you!!” you giggled. he was cute, just like gojo, maybe he could be your next boyfriend.

“no need to call me by my last name, feel free to call me suguru, its nice to meet you too.”

he smiled back at you. he didn’t say much but you didn’t mind. he had a soft voice, higher than gojo, but still a tiny bit deep. it made you feel fuzzy.

“go ‘head and sit with suguru, im getting you a jacket. you need to cover up.” he glanced down at your outfit.

you didnt think you were wearing anything bad. a white crop top, tied around your neck by strings, with a jean miniskirt, leg warmers and of course your white toes.

yes maybe you were showing your breasts to much.. and nipples, and stomach. and too much thighs and legs. but you thought it was fine, a part of you wanted to be seen like this.

“hi suguru kun!! watchu watching?” you skipped over to him, making your boobs jiggle on purpose. you caught him looking.

“i dunno, some action movie. you gonna come sit with me and watch the movie, pretty?” he said tilting his head slightly, smiling, while patting the empty space on his left.

you were surprised at his boldness, maybe it was because gojo wasn’t here you thought. you paid no mind and went along with it.

“mhm, dont mind if i do.” you sat next to him, your plush thighs touching him. he was about to place his hand on your thigh until..

“hey, y/n here. i got u some pants and a hoodie.” he was clearly ticked off, jealous maybe?

“I dont wanna!!” you whined, as you got up. feeling geto’s eyes on your butt.

“mm.. theyre to big anyway toru!! and its so hot.” you hugged him as a way to convince him into letting you keep what you had on.

“atleast put the hoodie on, bunny.”

“why should i, hm?” you gave him a sly smile.

“so you don’t seem like an attention seeking whore to my friend.” he flicked your forehead

“ughh, fine.” you were definitely taking this off later.

gojo stared at you looking annoyed, “weren’t you just crying?”

oh. right, you remembered the whole reason you even came here.

“oh yeah, i forgot. I cought shin kissing some other bitch in-front of the cafe he was supposed to be taking me to, its nothing though, you made me feel better.” you smiled at him before grabbing a beer from the fridge. you chugged it before adding on, “i blocked him on everything though.”

“I dont get why you didn’t do that from the start.” he said flicking your forehead. again.

“ouch!!” you pouted

a few hours went by, you had gotten to know geto a little more, and you were pretty drunk, they both scolded you the whole time but you didnt care, you wanted to forget about your ex.

it was around 10pm when gojo decided to say..

“oh yeah, suguru is staying the night, so if you wanted to stay you might as well.” he placed his hand on your head before getting up from the floor where you were all sitting on from the previous board game.

“ i was .. hiccup .. plan- planning on it anyway.” you glanced over at geto, who was clearly staring at you.

you smiled at him before crawling over to him.

“hey. you’re cute..” you tilted your head and smiled. just looking at him made you feel fuzzy..

“hey. you’re drunk. come on get off before satoru comes back.”

“relaxxx~ hes gone! it’ll.. hiccup … take a while.” you scooted closer to him. lips ghosting over his

“dontcha wanna kiss me?”

“cant, even if i wanted too, pretty. your toru’s girl.”

you pouted at this. you didn’t like his rejection.

you quickly got up and rushed to find gojo, who was in his room getting blankets and pillows.

“toruuu!!!” you barged in

“yes bunny? whats up.”

you went up to him and pushed him onto the bed, half lidded eyes tracing over his features. you cupped his cheek.

“did you tell suguru we’re dating?”

“no, i didn’t, princess. why?” he raised a brow attempting to get you off, cleary failing.

“mm.. he wont let me kiss him. he said he cant.. because im ‘toru’s girl’, mm.” your finger tracing over his lips, legs closing in tightly at his waist.

he doesn’t look to happy, you thought.

“y/n, get off.” he said trying to push you off.

“why are you mad? you jealouss?” you were still on him, not going anywhere. you giggled at this.

“no, stop acting like a slut and just act normal for once.” his voice was stern. and harsh. he never talked to you like this, he was really mad.

you unconsciously started to tear up, maybe it was your drunk self, or your horny self, but you knew how to manipulate gojo into giving you what you want. what is it that i want?

“toru, m’ sorryyy..i love you okay? only you..im sorry for this.” you braced yourself. god you hoped your drunk self wasnt going to ruin everything.

“for wha-” gojo quickly being cut off.

there you were. cupping your best friends cheeks and making out with him, inviting your own tongue into his mouth. you grabbed his hand and placed it onto your waist. pushing him deeper into the mattress, gojo now laying down completely.

you pulled away to catch your breath.

“y/n. what the fuck are you doing?” he was confused but part of him liked this. he could never admit it right now though.

“satoru… im tired of pretending i dont like you. i dont wanna ruin anything but, hiccup..i love you. more than best friends.” you kissed his cheek, the corners of his mouth, his forehead and neck.

“y/n, your just drunk talking, you dont mean it.”

“m’ not. i mean it.”

“you’re a fucking whore.” was the last thing he said before yelling at geto.

“yo suguru, come here!” he manhandled you to a position where he was on top now.

“ya called?” geto came in.

gojo leaned into your ear whispering, “since you wanna be a slut, make a show for suguru, okay?”

“toru, i want you. i need you please..hiccup.. pleaseee.” you had no idea what was making you say this but you guessed it was just the horniness making you talk.

“suguru, your gonna fuck her, okay?” gojo glanced over at geto.

“with pleasure.” geto took his shirt off in one go and untied the strings of his sweats.

“t-toru! wait…”

“hm?”

“i want you..and sugu, to eat me out.” you covered your face with your arms.

“is that so, princess?” gojo grabbed the back of your knees and pressed them against your shoulders.

“hold on tight for me, ‘kay bunny?” he flashed you a smile. “suguru, ya ready?”

“let’s see what our puppy tastes like gojo ♡” suguru said kneeling down next to gojo spreading kisses down your thighs and tummy, putting your panties to the side and bunching your skirt up to your stomach.

“h..hurry.. need it, now, pl-please!” you were getting impatient for their touch. you felt like you were about to explode.

almost immediately gojo lapped at your cunt on command rubbing his finger up and down your hole while occasionally sticking his tongue in while suguru sucked on your puffy clit.

“n-ngh! a..hah! sug..toru! more more more..!” you began to blabble already to fucked out from barely any action.

“taste so fuckin’ good, bunny.” satoru said sticking his digit inside your weeping and needy hole. “look how wet she is, suguru ♡” he said pulling out his finger pulling it up so geto could see.

“mm..she’s so pretty, all wet glistening in her juices.” geto grabbed gojo’s wrist and pulled his middle finger up to his mouth, sucking off all your juices.

gojo blushed at this.

“tou..touch me, touch me mor- hah! ngh yes.yesyesyes!!” your head rolling back into the mattress, and you swore, there was stars on the ceiling.

gojo stuck in 3 digits inside your leaking pink hole. “gotta get you niceee and ready, love. don’t want me and sugu-chan hurting your poor cunt do we now?”

he giggled seeing your flushed and confused expression. gojo moved out of the way leaving geto to eat you like a starved man. “h-hah!! wha.. you? sugu?? cant..take..both cant..at once! nghh, suguru!”

“im sure you can, be a good girl and let us stretch you out, hm?” gojo grabbing geto, who wouldve probably never let go of your pretty cunt, by the hair to get him off and fully undressed.

“but before that, im gonna get suguru to stretch you out okay?” he goes to your side caressing your cheek. “you’d like that wouldn’t you? you just love sugu-chan so much you want him to stretch you out nice and good, hm?”

“t-toru!! cant… i..im a ..” you hesitated. fuck it. “virgin! virgin, im a virgin toru toru… ngh!” you could barely talk with how geto’s fingers curved and scissored across your gummy walls.

he laughed. “pfftt, you act like a slut and you’ve never even gotten any action, you’re such a whore.” gojo wrapped his hand around your neck choking you softly.

“Suguru, you okay with fucking a virgin dumb?” gojo flashed him his fangs as he smiled, softly slapping your cheek.

“i’d be more than happy.” he pushed your legs further onto your shoulders aligning himself at your entrance.

he spit on your cunt and gave it a slap, earning a muffled moan from you as gojo bullied his tongue into your mouth.

“breathe, ‘kay? and relax, im ‘bout to go in.” he slapped the side of your thigh to make sure you heard him.

“mm-mhm!!” you mumbled, gojo finalizing the kiss by biting your bottom lip, kissing your forehead after. “get ready, baby. it wont hurt, if you just welcome him in ♡”

geto slowly pushed in your tight little hole.

“n-ngh! hah..big..big!!!” you looked down, realizing this was the first time you saw geto’s dick. it was thick, you would have to guess it was around 6 inches from what youve seen in those porn videos.

“suguru, don’t go easy on her, dont hold back. its her punishment for being such a whore.” gojo said finding his way into the crook of your neck giving you hickeys.

“sorry, princess.. hold your breathe for a sec yea?”

you were confused at suguru’s request, but you complied too drunk to understand. and suddenly-

plap!!!

“F-FUUUCK!!. ngh..ya….hah.. ow, sugu.. too much.. too-t- big!!” you struggled against the two boy’s hold on you.

suguru began to slip in out of you, occasionally stopping to bottom out all his length inside your cunt.

“so! soo good. more!! faster sugu please!~” crossing your eyes, your whole body moving up and down from his thrusts.

“can..feel you! in my tum..my!!..mm” you were cock drunk.

“toru..touch..touch me!!” you looked at him with heart filled eyes, you wanted him to touch you too.

“such a brat. at least say please, ya dog. so nasty and needy.” you slapped your cheek making you shamefully moan. “knew you’d like that, fuckin’ whore.” he slapped your pussy occasionally rubbing your clit.

“yes!! yes so good! toru, sugu! im..im..close closecloseclose..!!” you lolled your tongue out, eyes teary, pools of drool coming down your tongue.

“ya on..ngh..the pill, doll?” suguru said while getting sloppier with his thrusts.

“yeah, she is.” gojo speaking for you, being too fucked out to respond.

“can i c-come..inside, satoru?” geto said glancing over at gojo, him taking notice of geto’s sweaty trembling body knowing he was about to burst.

“go for it, didn’t know ya was a fuckin’ dirty slut just like y/n.” gojo walked over behind geto, biting on his ear lobe lovingly. teasingly.

“fu..fuckk….cant!! cant hold..” geto gave his last thrusts, shooting warm ropes in your cunt.

“hhaa!! so warmm.. ngh..!! good..”

“creamin’ all over suguru’s cock huh, princess? just like the fucking slut you are.”

gojo pushed geto down, making him shift his weight on your tiny body, bending him over making sure geto was still inside you.

“sat-toru? what the fuck.. hey..he-ngh!~ fuck..” geto protested, but getting interrupted by gojo spitting down his ass, wetting his hole.

“punishment for being cock-whores, sugu-chan and y/n ♡”. gojo sticked two fingers inside geto’s warm unopened hole.

“sugu…again..please! so ..horny.” you said cupping his cheeks, lips meeting. eventually sloppily making out as geto started to begin his slow thrust.

you felt his dick twitch as he moaned in your mouth possibly from gojo’s fingers.

“sato…ruu! slow down, cant..focus!! ngh.” geto too overstimulated to concentrate on your pleasure.

“lemme take over then, ‘kay?” he kissed geto down his spine, slowly pushing in the pink tip of his cock inside geto.

“f-fuck!! i..nghhh!!” geto trembled eyes never leaving yours. never breaking eye contact.

gojo wasnt even all the way in when he started to forcefully thrust into geto’s poor hole, making geto move harsher inside you.

“fuckk, so tight yeah baby?” gojo grabbed geto’s hips getting better grip as he slammed into him, projecting his strength to geto, thrusting into your poor overstimulated hole.

“slow..slow down!! suguu…cant take!! it..” you felt like you were going to break having twice the weight on your legs now. barely remembering how to breathe and talk.

“toru!! so ..good~ ahh.. wait!! slow..down!! y/n cant take it..” geto trying to get up forgetting he was leaning half his weight onto you, but immediately being shoved back down by gojo.

“mmm!! m sorry prin-cess!” he shoved his face into your neck moaning into it. you felt his drool slip down.

“..go—ood!! good….mytummy! cant..its com…ing!!”

“hah…look! the bitch can’t even fuckin’ talk no more, she’s so fucked out.” gojo laughed at you.

“toru, just..go sl-ah!!-lower, pl..please!!” geto cried out, as his body was holding on tightly to you.

“ouch..sugu!! too tight!!” you took notice on his grip on you, thinking he was about to break your bones.

you all were clearly about to explode, on the edge of cumming. you couldn’t take anymore.

“come on suguru! just cus im fucking you dont mean you can forget all about our girl.” he gave a harsh slap to geto’s ass making him remember to keep thrusting hard into your poor cunt.

“nyaa!! cummin…d-daddy, toru!!!” how cute. gojo thought hearing you say that, already trained to say his name while cumming despite him not even laying a finger on you.

“me ..too. ‘m cumming satoru!” geto put his hands on both sides of you getting up slightly to give you room.

“fuckk…on the count of three yea? ya slut’s gonna come for me, ‘kay?” gojo fastening his thrusts, also making geto unconsciously move his hips into your pussy.

“one…”

“two…”

“nghhh!!! toru, suguru!!!” you squirted all over geto’s dick and stomach.

“fu..ck. toruuu..y/n.” geto moaned softly as his body slowly gave up, shooting his last load into your cunt.

“atta’ girlll, squirt fa’ sugu-chan.. so proud of you suguru.” he planted kissed down geto’s spine and back, also cumming in geto’s little abused hole.

gojo pulled out, geto slowly following behind.

you curled into a ball, trying to regain your regular breathing rhythm, about to pass out.

“we’re not done yet, puppies. ♡” gojo said as he wiped the sweat off his forehead, white hair sticking to his forehead.

“we’re going all night.” he smirked.

i hope u guys liked it!! lmk if u want pt. 2 :33 this was my first time hehe im sorry if its bad🥲

[msxrik]

MORE MASACRIK SMUT?? YALL WERE BEGGING FOR THIS I SWEARR.

ill never get tired of this man i swear.

Nsfw under the Cut

Someone asked for the Elevator man Masacrik so i delivered. This one may be a little more toxic guys dont cancel me. also my req's r open!!!

Warnings: porn with little plot. Not read proof. Stalking, toxic behavior, dubcon, mentally ill reader istg, drugging, aphrodisiac used, stalker!masacrik, yandere, kidnapping, mention of needles (onky one time) oral, blood kink, squirting,

It was a normal day. You just checked in the new dorm you got and oh boy it was perfect. Too perfect. It was clean and tidy but.... you had that awful feeling of being watched. Ever since you met that guy in the reception. Masacrik? Was his name. You know the one that makes sure everything's fine in the building. He was also responsible for the elevator there. It was old and rusty so you thought it was normal that he got in there with you. You could swear that you still felt his eyes on yourself even after locking the door.

You unpacked then took a shower, it was a long day so you wanted to rest. There were vending machines in the lobby so you decided to go there and get yourself a snack. It was too late to go to a store anyway.

When you walked out of your room you jumped. As the elevator was already on your floor. Open. It was empty. But the moment you stepped inside you felt someone behind you. There he was. His tall figure hoovering over you as you slowly turn around.

-Hello miss. Where are you headed at this ungodly hour?

You could recall his face from somewhere but you had no idea from where

-uhm. I was just. Going to buy something from the vending machines down stairs.

-Ah. I was making sure everyone's in their dorms by now.- he said as he pressed some buttons and the elevator moved with an ungodly screetch.

-im sorry i didnt want to cause trouble.

-its nothing dear. Just get what you want and lets hop you back upstairs shall we?

You felt your heart skip a beat. As you were deciding on the food you want. You looked up at the reflection in the glass of the vending machine. it hit you like a bus. You've seen him. Yesterday. And the day before. He always was near you. Following you around the town. You felt a shiver run up your spine as you were deciding what you should do. As you were ready to take off to the exit he grabbed you by your hand pulling you close to him. One of your hands was now on his shoulder. And one of his on your waist. You blushed a little. Yes he scared you. But he was so handsome. And his embrace was nothing but comfort for some reason.

-I've finally caught you sweetheart- he purred as the elevator doors closed and he sat down pulling you on his lap.

You looked at him with tears in your eyes.

-oh honey-his tone was so sweet it made you melt into his embrace- dont cry. We're going to be happy. I'm the only person you'll ever need alright? I'll treat you well sweetheart. Not like the other people in your life

Tears started rolling down your face as he was telling you about the smallest details of your day to day life for like 2 years back into the pass.

Was this scary? Really. But did somewhere in that twisted deprived mind of yours you found this cute? Also yes. Nobody cared about you that much as he did. You lost yourself in thought as you felt his cold hand brush away your tears. Then the elevator Stopped and he pulled you into his room. As you walked in the only thing you saw where pictures

A t o n of pictures.

-Pardon the mess princess-he said looking for something.

You looked around a tad shocked. Then you felt a sharp sting in your neck and everything went black.

You woke up in some room. You didn't recognize it. The thing you did recognize tho was the warm embrace of the man behind you. You turned around to look at him

-where are we..?

-somewhere no one will find you doll. You hungry? You were out cold for two days.-he said Giggling

-a bit

He picked you up carrying you to the kitchen. Then gave you some food and then some weird looking pills

-for the headache. Trust me Baby- he purred at you

You DID take them. And when you were washing your hands you felt them kick in. The warmth spreading through your body as you gripped onto the sink. You felt so woozy you barely walked out of the bathroom.

-Doll could you come here please?

You did. You aren't that stupid you wouldn't disobey him he was being so nice to you. You came up to him and he made you sit in his lap

-You know i love you dearly sweetheart right? -he whispered into your ear stroking your head.

You only nodded smiling like a fool

-That's why you trust me right?

His hand started stroking your inner thigh going a little under your skirt. Then you felt a tingle in your lower stomach. You got so aroused that you shivered all over. Was that normal..?

-Right...-your breath hitched. Nothing mattered to you at that point. You didn't know him at all. But he knew you. More than you knew yourself. You leaned into his touch shifting in place

-needy are we?

You nod trying to roll your hips against his fingers

-A aah don't move. -his hand held you in place as the other one was creeping up your thigh. Just to gently brush over your clothed pussy. Rubbing your clit gently as you spread your legs more resting them on the comforters of the armchair.

-mhmm~ i will make you feel good. I know how you touch yourself.. -He purred into your ear as you blushed.

And he did know. the moment he took off your panties two of his long fingers were inside of you. And his thumb was rubbing your most sensitive part.

You moaned. the aphrodisiac in your veins making you way more sensitive to his touch. You were putty in his hands.

-if you'll be a good little girl ill reward you. So obey.

He lowered his pants making you palm his dick through his boxers You did and oh. The reward? He had you sit at the edge of the armchair with your legs spread as he ate you out. Him, in front of you on his knees. As you tug and pull on his soft red hair. You cried his name as the coil in your lower stomach was threatening to snap really fast.

-Im.. uhg~! -you threw your head back as you felt the sharp pain in your thigh. His nails dig into your thighs drawing blood from them as he smeared it all over you. Making you snap. You came all over his face and he drank every last drop of it. He did not stop, making you shake and close your legs trying to make him pull away.

That was your greatest mistake. He looked up at you his face coated in blood and your cum.

-Get up. Now.

You did. You tried.. actually your legs were giving out. He sat down there pulling you to his lap again this time lining his hard dick with your entrance.

-wha-wait b-but..

-You'll handle this. -he said as he lowered you on himself. You grasped at his hands whining

- 's too big.. fuck.. wai-MnGh!~

-i Told you you'll live. Now behave love i would hate hurting you.

After a moment of discomfort you relaxed the aphrodisiac taking over your mind again. He was scratching that itch you had deep inside you forever. He kept a steady pace as he whispered into your ear

-look down princess you see how well you're taking me? Fuck i love you so much baby you're so good ugh~ -he moaned tightening the grip he had on you.

-mnGh~ i needed t-this.. uhghh..~ -you purred out. The sweet words of affection spilling from you as he gets more worked up from each and every one.

He quickened the pace losing himself inside you. Chasing his own high. He started hitting that one spot. It made you want to squirm away with only a few hits he had you cumming on the spot but when he kept hitting it not caring about your cries of overstimulation he made you squirt. And the sound you made and the feeling of your slick and cum running down both if you dragged him over the edge. He came inside not caring to pull out.

You both tried to calm your breathing as you curled up on his chest hugging him. After a moment of comfortable silence you sleepily asked

-what if they come looking for me?

-No one will look for you, and no one will ever find you have me and i have you. Not a single soul more kitty, now sleep -He said as he picked you up to wash you up a little and carry you to bed.

And you do, you do fall asleep hugging him tightly.

Rmemeber. He Love's you deeply~

//////////////

THANK YOU GUYS FOR SUCH ACTIVITY OMG

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

✨ Napoleon's route in Run Away With Me story event (01/23-01/31) highlights ✨ -- boredom as a proof of peace

Ngl my first reaction was "of course, because his handwriting is such a mess she recognizes it right away..." which is.... something not canon as far as i know (?) but have you seen irl napo's handwriting? Disaster! Well, since his signature on the in-game letters is the same, i guess his handwriting is the same too 🤔 Lol now im imagining mc standing in front of the door for ages trying to read the note 😂

He's....even more of a bully in this event. Surprising her from behind is one thing, but he doesn't miss teasing her about being easy to surprise either 😭

he says that later on too! After successfully switching the key in her pocket with a brooch without her noticing

Her comment about him being like a magician 🤭 he truly outdid himself and it's quite cheesy... Im glad that he addressed that part. But he said it's not like himself to be cheesy...?! are you sure about that

As a whole in this event i noticed a lot of stuff brought up again later on and basically happening twice and I LOVE it, as strange as it is to be impressed by that. It's like, mc says she feels like a princess - i gawk, then towards the end napo picks her up "like a princess" - "OH he treats her REALLY like a princess!!!🥺" that way these things really make a strong impression and stay with you don't they.....

In that line of thought, what's with him and kidnapping all of a sudden?

Maybe the broke the fourth wall and started ironizing the overuse of kidnaping in the game fkkdfnkdkf next thing you know he claims to be under the influence of an aphrodisiac everytime youre are about to do it

I love how secretive he was about the whole thing, it's really his style ever since his route to organize surprise dates like that...and it gives him one too many opportunities to show his "cool" side (sudden fireworks? Dunno nunuche, it must be magic.) and to tease her endlessly.... In the end it turns out it's another of his heroic acts that lead to the villa being rented to him ...and he couldn't refuse when the owner suggested enjoying the fireworks to be shoot off with a lover 🥺❤️

Still the most important part of it is coming to the realization that boredom is a proof of peace. Coming from Napoleon who has long dreamed of peace and finally found it in MC, it's even more special. Who else is gonna see you doing mundane chores and bring out a positive side of it: being used to a life that once seemed so alien, and even dangerous 😭 he's good at seeing certain situations - even the most simple moments of everyday life- in depth and under different angles and interpreting them in a way so they have some sort of correlation to his deepest feelings. Nope, being cheesy surely isn't like him, nooo

His emotional maturity is always showing in such situations and it's part of what makes his character so great in my opinion. Being cool and romantic and thoughtful and charming and a dozen others is just a nice plus

And even after that, he's still ready to fight off her boredom in whatever way he can...hence the "I'll kidnap you anytime" part 🤭🤭 he's always so creative, i can't imagine feeling bored for long with him as a lover

----

I didnt get to see the other branch because someone forgot to log in and use her stamina 😭😭😭 maybe I'll find a way to see it, i also have the epilogue yet to see ( still emotionally and financially recovering from the 500 dia spent on it) but i can safely call it one of his best event stories so far... It felt of great importance about seeing their progress as a couple while still being a classy napo experience ™ 10/10

[dizzyoatman]

crack deltarune therory aka: The shadow crystals are effectivley substitutes for souls

I see a lot of talk as to who the secret bosses are, but ive seen almost nothing on the shadow crystals. Today i wanna fix that by throwing this idea out there.

one thing before you read fruther, assume 1 thing to be true. Darkners do not have souls. Without that assumption nothing i say will make sense.

basically, i think that the pure crystal in the code is a surrogate soul, and that the shadow crystals are pieces of the pure crystal. My evidence?

1: spamton and heaven

spamton's whole motivation is to go to heavan, right? To get big (non sexual). Now what is heaven? I've seen some interpret heaven as a realm above the light world, but here i'm assuming he just means the light world.

The thing i want go draw attention to here is how this connects to freedom. Spamton seems to think that a soul will bring him closer to that goal, and he seems to just... know this without prior explanation? He brings it up in his first encounter too so clearly he knows that a soul = freedom. So they why does he want the neo body and by proxy a shadow crystal if he didnt also think it achived freedom?

2: darkness and determination

for the sake of this theroy, lets assume teo things that i could support but i dont wanna make this post longer than it already is. 1: Lightners have determination 2: Darkners are given determination and the will to live through thier fountains. Now that we have established that determination and life are connected, lets look at the shadow crystals. Thisr name itself is well... darkness and they perist in the light world. Therefore its notnthe crazy of a leap to assume that the shadow crystals carry determimation. What else carrys determination? Souls.

the pure crystal btw is likely the combined form of the shadow crystals, freed of all darkness and ready to truly step into the light or something along those lines

Now im sure this theory isnt fool proof and i missed some seam line where he says "the shadow crystals help me go to your mother's house" or something so if i missed something, pls tell me.

toodaloo!

[kh4]

why are you on a twitter byf?

hi, youre actually not the first person to tell me this tonight! i Also have no idea why im on a blacklist. i want to clear some stuff up because i was told this three (3) times. i dont exactly like that i have to reply to this publicly because i dont even make personal posts but i think this whole thing is out of hand and has been for a while.

im putting this under a Read More because its long and im finally able to air out some of my feelings about the situation.

TLDR: devin has lurked and kept tabs on me for three years and its exhausting that i have to address it like this of all places. if you need proof or anything feel free to dm me.

this is soooo. okay so i met this person in 2019 from the best of my memory because ive been trying for about an hour to get onto my old blog but i cant remember the login at all, and she and i had done a few dms just about whatever. and then she wanted to make these two kin doubles who hated each other or something be friends again, please note we all shared the same kin, and stirred up some problems.

then, after this happened, her host (or she did? regardless she admitted that she was involved in the creation) had made a callout blog for one of them despite my attempt to steer this off from happening, and i was ignored. i think my last message to her directly, and im not kidding here, was in jan 2020 (three full years ago!).

after this i made the choice, for myself, to soft her on tumblr. i no longer wanted anything to do with the situation, i think kin drama is stupid and im sure it was more personal than kin things from what she had told me, but i had no intention of being involved further. or know any of these people. like at all. after i softed her, she made a post about taking a hiatus after she deleted the callout blog and thats it from what i know about her tumblr because it was deleted soon after iirc.

8 months later she tried to follow my twitter, and i recognized her. i considered it a lottt, but i really didnt want that kind of energy stirring up things again in my life because 2020 was an absolute fucking Disaster of a year enough. so i softed her from my twitter because of this for my own mental health.i havent had a direct message with her since early 2020.

i know nothing about her, her life, anything because i wanted as much distance from that whole situation as possible. i didnt get to know her well enough with her to call her my friend or anything, and everything that happened so soon after we did start talking really made me not feel like i wanted to be friends or get to know her better if this was her vibe. she has made posts about missing me, when i feel as though i never warranted the title of friend at all because she basically just vented to me a couple times before this started and i didnt and still dont have the energy to deal with that kind of person.

i have found out, however, she has fucking LURKED me likely for three years. shes posted about how ensemble stars reminds her of an ex friend (which, she didnt get to know me enough to be my friend, and its pretty obvious this post is about me because my special interest is ensemble stars) and i got into it in mid 2020 so she shouldnt possibly know i ever got into it without lurking me. its some creepy shit ill be honest with you.

she knew and made posts about how my psychotic ass had delusions about being w/ilbur ds-p from nov 2021- mid 2022 because i like. Was in a horrible state and related to how self destructive he was or whatever but i got better and got my life together and dont do that at all anymore. i dropped it and i have most terms blacklisted (and the series itself) because it reminds me of those racist assholes and also of a horrible time in my life im still recovering from.

i have no fucking clue how this could affect her or she would even know. seeing as this was wayyyyy beyond the time i knew her. however this proves she was lurking me to myself and people who know me personally… we're all insanely confused. shes had no reason to keep up with anything about me for three years and im pretty much sick of it haha. ive been quietly freaking out over how scary shes been acting about me and whatever idealized version of what or who i was she had assumed during the very short time i knew her because i didnt want to start anything.

thank you for reading this. i hope this stops soon because i dont want to keep dealing with something thats happened 3 years ago and it happened because i didnt even want to be involved in things. its just unfair and makes me feel insanely uncomfortable im still a hot topic for her even though she hasnt messaged me or anything since following my twitter and being softed. it makes me feel weird and its just weird to me.

[hyperionissuedart]

finally reopened the first chapter of my handsome jack fic and bruh, i miss having peeps to proof read for me. now i just gotta reread what i wrote about 3 times to make sure i didnt goof something. 

i have rewritten chapter 1-4. now im just fixing chapter 1 again to fit the other chapters better. fixing the reader insert to be more the way i wanted them to be originally. tough and tired reader insert only. lol.

[themindelectricdemo4]

i think to myself lke. back lke 2 year ago, im like...my friendship with my friends was so good, what happened?

really, i let myself go. i got a lot of disappointment in my regular life (couldnt get disability, more illnesses, treatment failing, family dying) i found that gong to college has helped me so much. because its like...setting a life for myself. getting a routine. having something to wake up for.

when all i wanted to wake up was for my friends, they were the brunt of everything, especially my moodiness that was becoming more & more unstable. i keep wanting to apologize but i hope i can form better wording in my head that articulates what i want to say the most (firstly that it doesnt justify my actions, and secondly, that im not crawling back to rekindle) im kind of stuck with overthnking it, so honestly.......it could be a world where i never directly apologize because i fear what my words sound like

i havent changed in that aspect in that i miss the connotation of my words often...maybe i could show it to my partner for proof reading, but i wouldnt want to involve a lot of people or anything ive accepted this is my human flaw & i continue to try & wrap my head around implications but it doesnt work. i do feel dumb ..oh well what can i do. i try to ask people to ask for clarification if they think something i said was weird (because if my intentions were mean ...i would want to make sure you knew for sure ...LOL.) but if they dont.. dont know what to do. but ive find in college, my friends ask me, they respect that, they make me feel like a human being & not some dumb (insert a barrage of slurs i could call myselfhere). self inflicted words..because i wish i could just learn social shit like a normal person & i feel dumb for not being able to mask this, or be able to study it enough to even pretend like i understand

im happy with the way my life is going now... i went to college, met my partner irl, i havent thought about genuinely kmsing myself in a good while now, like i couldnt go a month or two without planning it in my head, but im...actually doing good? its crazy...even my psych said she was so proud of me today saying she couldve never imagined me how i am today just because of how bad i was. i dont take that as a negative btw cuz thats me past tense. im proud of it.!!! really like, after whatever the fuck happened in august '23 i was like, ok. no more of this shit.

& it worked? i got all As, im in college. holy shit. the several times i would blow up on my friendsin the past into HUGE fights? the most heated i got was exactly one time where i snapped after a long day of being spoken over (by this person that i didnt particularly want to hang out with, as agreed upon with my friend because even that person agreed we didnt have a lot in common) & that...was it??? like im shocked. all my rage . gone . whar. .. & my friends are like.......they ask me what im doing/feeling based on things i do cuz they think im mad (the rbf & monotone voice) & im like oh!! oh my gosh no, im good! im sorry for worrying u & they were like oh! dw just checking. cuz i curated the baddest bitches of autistics who just get it fr . me & my current bestie we just ask each other the most blunt questions to get clarity on situations & i love that 4 us ... hes supa nice. love all my fends . but wow idk im proud of myself & this turned into a ramble where im positive cuz i was acually gettng mad at myself sadge but yea. i do wanna apologize but im afraid of being misconstrued & my paranoia over this manifests into probably never doing it. i got lving with my mother probably to blame fo r that (dont get me started on the shit she pulled over winter break that everyone in my family agrees she is ridiculous for with physical proof ok im reeling

[infiniteseriesofhalfways]

i dont know man, im just.

99 percent of the shit i write and the art i make and the things i do in general never see the light of day. i dont post them and i dont share them and someday when i die someone might go through my shit and theyre going to find just. so much. so much that i have poured my heart and soul and love into and i will be the only one who ever saw it.

and a lot of that is because of fear. fear that its not good enough. that im not good enough to be worth sharing.

but its also fear that these things that i fill with myself will be taken and twisted and turned into something terrible. that the pieces of my identity that are woven into everything i do will be noticed, ripped out and pointed and laughed at. or worse, i think, that theyll get glossed over. that theyll fly so far under the radar that theyll get flipped.

i write queer stories and i put my queer self into them and i am afraid to be told that im hurting with them. with me. doing more harm than good. im afraid they would be right.

but i also like to believe that somewhere out there is at least one person who would feel seen in what i do. that they would see the pieces of me and feel like theyre looking in a mirror.

i like to think that of all the heartbreaking things ive read, and feet-kicking-y moments and the scenes you have to step back from and take a breath, and the books ive apparently read but have no memory of- i could be that for other people.

i mean maybe it sounds ridiculous or sad but i would love to be oh yeah i forgot about that one and i wish i hadnt wasted my time and oh my god i will never stop thinking about this and it is a thing i read. sure.

but im also terrified of what it would do to me to have any of those things on a large scale. i wrote fanfiction for several years and all i ever received was praise but that was terrifying too. i was so worried about letting people down. and that paralyzed me in a way, and i think i ended up letting people down anyway by quitting.

i went back to hiding my everything because the second i let any of it go there was an expectation. maybe not from everyone else but from me. i expected myself to continue to please people. i expected myself to keep up with it. keep producing and keep making people happy and when i would literally pass out while writing i would just be angry at myself for missing a self imposed deadline.

and maybe im better off this way. maybe im better off writing the stories i want to read and making the art i want to see and doing it all just for me only. because i still get the stories and i still get the art and i still get to cut myself open and pour myself into them. but they stay mine, and they stay whole and i stay afraid.

fuck man, maybe all this is proof that it doesn't even matter if i put shit out there, im going to twist it all around into something its not. i wanted to jot down some thoughts about queer media and also the imposter syndrome of writing, which i guess i did but i didnt mean for it to go like this. ive hurt myself in my own confusion.

i dont know. life is hard. everything is hard. but i think i make it worse for myself.

[biitterscotch]

novermber pt two

22nd november 2022

it feels like forever since ive last written. my job has been going better. it's still hard work and im still falling a bit behind but i am doing the best i can. i try my best. my neck and back still aches after most shifts. but they feed me well. the people are kind. a great environment. i wish they didnt feed me so well so i could lose weight. i drink coffee but i might get started on stimmulants again. i just dont like the part where its difficult to sleep. and these days its too cold to lie awake restless. on days when i work 8-16 i only catch a glimpse of the sun, not a single ray kisses me well. most days when i dont have to wake early i sleep in till 11. 4 hours of sun. i need to get my vitamin d somehow. i wish i brought the big bottle with me. my diet has been of less starches. they fill up too much of my stomach. i fill up too much space. though simultaneously am i even here? i hope im not lost forever. i feel i have changed a lot but i am not sure. whats to compare to? only i can really say for now. my parents have not seen my face in probably a month. somewhat comforting. i want to transform my body. ive always been held back. my parents taught me well. back to the topic of my diet, i've a thing for aubergines now. sauted veggies. makes me feel healthier. i miss starving. it felt so good. my body felt right. i want my body to match how i feel. bands of silver and discoloured markings. small joys. small hopes. anxieties. i've a lack of vocabulary. i should read books. why is it my triumphant pleasures undermine my glooming suffering? is there always something more? a world beyond the horizon? how can i be disapointed about something that doesn't exist? does the feeling serve proof to its existence? what kind of logic is that. id like to imagine what life would be like if i did not know numbers. those small civilizations. for the western world what is an equivalent step up?

[mikemoon]

( choi yeonjun, cis man ) have you seen MICHAEL “MIKE” MOON ? i heard HE is a COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR at SAN VERTO COLLEGE and an EMPLOYEE at HALL OF FILM. they’re 22 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for 6 YEARS. they tend to be CARE-FREE & ADVENTUROUS, but rumor has it they can also be GRUMPY & CLUMSY. [ tally, 25, gmt+4, she/her ] @foolsstarters​

tw // mentions of depression, cheating, divorce, underage drinking and smoking

michael moon, born myungjun moon –– choi yeonjun fc

birthday: september 9, 1998 - 22 yrs old ; virgo

cis man, he/him, bisexual

born and raised in philadelphia, pennsylvania

mike grew up being an only child, and always around the company of his mother in their house. his father was always traveling back and forth from south korea to the states for work. his parents have met at work on one of his father’s trips to the states, and they fell in love. his mother being american-born, she couldn’t really leave philadelphia. she loved it there. so they decided to keep it a long distance relationship.

sometime during those fleeting meetings, she had gotten pregnant with michael. and of course, his father spoiled them both, giving them everything they wanted. he never left them to fend for themselves. when the boy was born, his father named him myungjun, and his mother decided to name him michael for his english name. the nicknames jun, mike, and sometimes junnie were often heard whenever his parents or childhood friends called him.

up until mike was five years old in 2004, he’s lived with his mother, while his father was leaving and coming back for a week or two. but that year, he’s finally moved to the states and stayed with them for longer nights. he even finally married michael’s mother. of course, he still disappeared for a few days or weeks on end for work.

but that was also the year michael’s mother found out that her husband was with another woman. michael has never seen his mother break down like that before. sadly, the young boy was peering into the room when the fight happened and witnessed everything. his mother made her partner choose between the two women, and he eventually told her that he was going to divorce his first wife for her, and appeared to have gone through with his promise. because after that incident, he’s been around more often.

by early 2015, when michael had just turned 16, his mother had gotten a teaching job in ashdown academy, which resulted in their move to san verto, california. meaning, new school and new friends for mike. meanwhile, his dad was still traveling a lot for business and coming back whenever he could.

michael has grown up as a cheerful and energetic child. his friends at any school he went to would tell you how much of a great friend he is, how trustworthy and caring he is. it was so easy for him to make friends anywhere. he was the type of friend who would smile at you and listen to you talk on and on about whatever you liked, and the type who would cheer you on with anything you want to achieve. he wanted everyone to feel included and loved.

so it wasn’t that hard for him to get along with new people once he moved to town. he was a very social person. 

he was also the type of teenager who was out there doing things he wasn’t supposed to. he missed his old friends and his old home, but he wanted to have fun with all the new kids he was befriending. that simply resulted in him going to house parties as an underaged teen to ‘have fun’. his mother didn’t approve of him coming home very late at night, clearly smelling like smoke and alcohol. 

internally he was a depressed mess. of course, no one is completely happy as they grow up. his family was a mess, even if it appeared as fine to everyone else. his family life affected him so much while growing up. mike sometimes could disappear for a few days in his room, and it was always during some of his bad spells.

what made it worse was the day he found out the truth.

it was 2017 when michael walked into his father’s office in their house, looking for him to ask him about something. and instead of finding the man, he found a stack of papers poking from underneath his father’s laptop. upon closer look, they appeared to be divorce papers. michael’s heart sunk, thinking his parents were breaking it off.

michael is a curious kid, he couldn’t help but close the door and read the papers. but what he saw wasn’t his mother’s name, it was another woman. his heart raced, as he put things back where they were and immediately left the room. michael had found out one of his father’s many secrets. he never divorced his first wife all those years ago. he lied and somehow stayed with both women without suspicion... well, until now. clearly the other woman was breaking it off for a reason. 

michael couldn’t help his curiosity. he came back to the room later that night and snapped as many pictures as he could of evidence he could find. he even found his father’s phone (which was easy to figure out the password of) and found a plethora of pictures of the man with a different family, different kids and a different partner. he airdropped the pictures to himself to avoid leaving any traces behind and quickly left again.

a quick search on facebook, and he managed to find the first wife. it was easy with the name and pictures he had. if anything, michael prided himself on being a good internet detective... or stalker. he spent everyday trying to find the rest of the family on the internet. he found the woman’s young daughter on instagram and twitter, along with her older son’s accounts as well. it felt weird. it was a constant “now what?” for michael. he’s found them. what was he going to do now? he couldn’t just message them and tell them everything. and he couldn’t break his mother’s heart by letting her know.

except he had to let her know. he could never live with the fact that he knew his father was betraying her this entire time. and so michael told her everything, and after comforting her all night when she broke down yet again, she immediately ended things and asked for a divorce. now it was just michael and his mother, all alone. and for once, having to get by on their own.

thankfully they were safe, with his mother’s amazing money management skills, and the job she got at the academy, they managed to live their regular lives despite the heavy feeling of a broken family looming around them. the two just wanted to be happy again.

michael spent the next few years trying to lead a normal life. his mental health had gotten worse after everything he’s found out. he went to college, and he continued trying to do well in school. he really wasn’t the best when it came to grades, but he was trying his best.

and truthfully, he couldn’t help but make a few spare accounts on some social medias to follow his father’s other family.

but he eventually decided to just let it go, assuming they definitely knew about his mother and himself, which would explain the first divorce. so he decided to put it in the past and move on.

his mother has moved on as well. she found herself someone who actually cares about her so much (mike’s stupid ass has done a secret background check to make sure this dude wasn’t another cheater lmaoo) and now mike isn’t an only child anymore. it’s been 2 years since his little sister yuna was born, and he loves her so much. he still isn’t used to the idea of a new fatherly figure in his life, but he’s.... getting there. 

little dumb hcs

mike majors in computer science at san verto college, with a concentration in game development and design

hes a lil gamer boy,,, u KNOW he’s that annoying dude with a gamer chair that has a sound system in it khjkh

he posted a few videos on youtube but rly just ditched the channel after like a month. he still posts whenever he feels like it tho and it’s usually just.... messy gaming videos or opinions no one asked for

his dad’s dumb ass still doesn’t know it was mike who exposed him to his mother. he thinks she found the divorce papers on her own. therefore.... mike still gets money from his dad on a monthly basis and gets to keep the car he bought him for his 18th birthday lmaooooo a win 

you probably heard me say this before but.... theres a hc that mike is allergic to eggs. simply bc the idea of him shopping in the vegan section is funny to me 

this boy has a love for frogs ? idk where the obsession came from but you bet you’re gonna see a cute lil frog sticker on everything he owns. he doodles them on everything too ? it’s a habit at this point. he also knows random little facts about them and tells them to anyone who didnt ask for them 

. embarrassing but.. this dude... omg.... a big sana stan.... he has a photocard collection.... he went to a twice concert like 5 times.... dont be surprised if you see a feel special sana photocard in his phonecase.... im embarrassed of him 

he also has a hyunjin mcdonalds hashbrown photocard framed that a friend gave to him for christmas bc.. it’s a rare card,,, and you can see it on a table by the door when you walk into his apartment 😭

mike also has a habit of buying things he doesn’t need ?? he has a plushie collection that has been growing since he was young, and now is getting bigger with the rise of squishmallows

there’s this random hc where he drunk bought a cardboard cutout of john cena ,,,, don’t ask,,, it’s currently guarding his room back at his mom’s house djfhdj

can you tell mike is my most embarrassing , most chaotic character,, 

also he moved out after graduating school and when he started to attend college,,,, gimme some roomies pls

connection ideas ??

michael’s childhood friends; could’ve gone to the same school back in philly before he moved away ?? 

friends he made when he moved to town?? mike is very social and was... kinda popular in school, i’d say. he made friends with basically anyone he found interesting

michael’s ex; they could’ve ended on a bad note, or even on a good one and ended up being friends. im really up for plotting anything.

michael’s best friend; PLEASE i love wholesome best friend plots. it doesn’t matter if they met in san verto or philly

roomies pls !!! i would love it if he could have some roommates who have to deal with his very . peculiar decorating habits 

co workers ?? customers ? regulars ? he works at hall of film ! 

like this to plot or hmu !

[ih4tnonie]

sub scoups cause why tf not

CW// Smut!!, Sub!SeungCheol x Dom!Reader. Dom! & Sub!, Edging, CumPlay (a little), Begging, a lot of use of the word C*M.

His eyes are beady and he’s biting his lip, you can tell he���s getting close again.

“M-more” he says grabbing unto you. For a big man he’s not that heavy , so you have no problem with him doing that . “you haven’t been good, so… no” you say smirking. He whimpers after hearing you say that and he’s now gripping the bedsheets harder than before after your palm speeds up on his tip.

“ill be better please… just let me cum”

“let you cum” one of your eyebrows raise and you look dumbfounded “you’ve been bad seungcheol , and your getting punished so wait a little longer, okay?” you kiss his forehead and then his cheek, where his tears are falling to and he nods so you continue.

You continue jerking him off, then stopping constant, where his whines, pleads, and moans are filling the room and maybe the rooms below you guys. But when YOU feel its enough you make sure you let him know.

“are you ready to cum my love?” you say to him slowing down a bit for him to respond. He nods and you lightly slap his face, “i need a response darling, can’t have you faking now”

“ugh i want to cum so-so bad miss, p-please” he moans in between, because even though you slowed down , it doesn’t mean you stopped

“ughh so mu-” he can barely even finish his sentence, before you jerk him off harder than before and he’s squirming around and his belly and chest are moving in and out like he’s hyperventilating or something.

“im gonna cum miss, im gonna cum sooo much” he says with a whine that soaks you (like you couldn’t be soaked more) immediately and there’s light in his eyes thats telling you. He’s cumming. With the continuous “good boy”, “im here” and “your doing so good” he cums hard with himself getting on you, him, the bed and maybe even the walls behind you.

After he calms down a bit, he lays up and you kiss his beautiful lips “good boy” you say between the kisses and he hugs you and says “thank you, i love you y/n” he goes back to your regular name. “i love you too beautiful” you say back.

you look down at the mess he made and you take your finger across the top of your breast where his cum laid and you hold it near you and seungcheols face “m’so much” and licking it “and also so good”.

After cleaning him up you and him both take a bath together

“so how was it ” you ask him hand on your chin staring at him.

“it was amazing , but why was i being punished?” he asks washing himself off.

“the outfit you were wearing on stage was turning me on, and that means it was turning other people on and i didn’t like that” you say to him kind of embarrassed you said all that and he looks up at you and giggles a bit.

“you were turned on” he says getting cocky. You splash water at him and say “don’t get cocky on me, ill make sure you never cum” you get out of the tub and grab a towel “and if you do cum, you’ll be coming until your dry”.

i hope you liked it <33 didnt take me that long and i only proof read once so i hope its good :))

[wygolvillage]

river preview thoughts:

-ok so the mysterious forbidden love cats in the prologue, based on the descriptions, are probably fringewhisker and spireclaw. interesting to see spireclaw get a bit more relevance since i always thought his name was cool

-flamepaw starting off with his warriors assesment being very soon? i predict another bristlefrost situation where they spend like 5 minutes as an apprentice in book one lol

-"it's not like starclan is infallible" yessss ivypool queen!!!

-flamepaw disliking the way leadership is handled, pointing out that his name is unfitting, having Bloodline Angst, and being kind of a bitter and rude emo kid from what i can tell? i like him already. his feeling distant from his mother Intrigues me also.

-lilyheart <3 thats all. i just like her

-"i know i have. and i know i deserved to." noooo bby.... giving him a little kissy on his kitty cat forehead

-FROSTPAW TIME!!! i just know the whole "we always knew you were going to be special :)" thing is gonna backfire on her like it did with dovewing and shadowsight...

-hmm the jayclaw dream she had that her mother is insisting was proof of starclan choosing her is a little sus. it just doesnt seem Divine Prophecy™ enough. maybe im reading into it but its an interesting possibility that perhaps her mom is shoving her into being a medicine cat. curlfeather seems just a tiny bit overbearing but again it could be unintentional. i do like how differently frostpaw and flamepaw interact with their respective mothers, its neat.

-mistystar looking thin and frail lets goooooo. please let this old lady rest

-"shadowsight is seriously weird" thats MY scrunkly <3

-"she had always imagined training as a warrior with her littermates" Oh Interesting. i wonder if my curlfeather theorizing is right then.

-"he doesn't look weird to me, but he has a lot of scars for a medicine cat" 😭😭😭 thats... my scrunkly....

-ohhh shit frostpaw being closer with willowshine than mothwing... very very intriguing. i miss willowshine, rip

-whistlepaw and frostpaw friendship?? i do hope so :) their short interaction here was cute

-sunbeam and blazefire are TOTALLY GOING OUT??? oh no theyre cute...

-OH I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE IN THE ALLEGIENCES THERE ARE NEW DOVETIGER KITS ???

-"oh youre such a rebel." "what a perfect little shadowclan warrior you are!" i cant believe im already invested in these two and their banter its... surprisingly cute for a series that struggles very hard with writing good romance lol. sunbeam not really getting whether its serious or more lighthearted teasing is also pretty endearing (and realistic, ive been there), i like her already

-lightleap!!! not much to say i just like her. actually scratch that i do have something to say, i think her grappling with the guilt over her own cowardice in alitm via exaggerated bravado is a neat direction to take her character and i like that she seems kind of... flawed? like throwing sunbeam under the bus after she fell on her. its interesting

-yeowch a dislocated shoulder? ow. also shadowsight being willing to call lightleap on her bullshit while also clearly caring for her a lot is very good.

...overall a very good preview, im excited to see more about the lives of the protagonists. it's hard to pick a favorite theyre all so neat!!! hyped for river for sure.

[sugawarassoccerlover]

All you need to do // TW: suicidal thoughts/behavior

A/n: So guess who's been miserable lately 👉👉so one night I was crying to myself and hugging my body pillow as usual and I thought this one up. Felt like I'd write some Akaashi because I'm attracted to parental figures 🤭

Genre: angst and comfort, some fluff

Reader: F (i didnt proof read, this could be read as gender neutral but im best with female readers qwq)

Paring: timeskip Akaashi x f!reader

Warnings: talk about suicide, suicidal thoughts, depressive behavior, and im not sure what else to include.

if any of these things might be triggering to you please find something else to read. put your mental health first please💖 (note this is timeskip)

Keiji should have seen it coming. You were growing more distant, more quiet, slowly becoming more and more trapped in your own mind. It had been on your mind for a long time. For months, actually. You told yourself there were things to fight for, and people would miss you, but would it be enough? You were tired. So incredibly tired. What you thought was logic seemed to say that you were better off dead. And everyone else would be better off if you were. Many people assumed that suicide was a rash, selfish decision.

But you have been thinking about this, weighing the options, trying to figure out what was best. Not only that but there were so, so, so many things you needed to do. You had to keep up your end of the relationship you had with your boyfriend. You had to continue communication with and help your friends. Your family needed you to help out. You had to keep up in your job to help pay rent and buy groceries.

Your cat needed attention. You needed to keep up in your classes even though you were already falling behind. You felt like you were going to shut down, but you couldn't, you and Keiji couldn't afford for you to shut down. But you couldn't keep going either.

So you were going to lock yourself in the bedroom and end it.

Or at least, that was your plan. You couldn't help but start sobbing. The weight of it, all the troubles, all the tiredness, all the expectations, it all crashed ontop of you like an avalanche, and you couldn't keep it from coming. You sat there on the floor, in your mind pathetically, sobbing your eyes out like a baby. Its okay, you told yourself, it'll all be over soon.

Through blurred vision, you looked down at the bottle of pills in your shaking hands. You had mastered swallowing them, even without liquid. You took a deep breath. You'll be free soon.

And then you heard your boyfriends voice.

"Baby? Y/n?" he called from the other side of the door.

You stayed quiet.

"I know you're in there. Please, open the door."

Just get it over with.

"Talk to me, please. I can hear you crying."

"GO AWAY!" Your voice was embarassingly shaky.

"No, I'm not going to. Not while you're crying and when you've been avoiding me all day. Please, unlock the door baby."

"No."

"Let me in, please. I want to help you."

"You won't be able to help me after..." oops. You realized you messed up.

There was a second of silence before Keiji started knocking on the door desparetly. "After what? Baby? Let me in, y/n, please."

You could only cry.

"Baby please." His voice broke.

You thought and hoped he was going to give up, but then the doorhandle started shaking violently. It kept turning and turning, at first to no avail, but after about ten seconds he had opened it. The first thing he did was spot you on the floor, and drop to his knees next to you.

He looked you all over, making sure you weren't hurt, and if his heart hurt before, it was completely shattered now when he saw your lost expression. His gaze shifted to the bottle in your hand, eyes widening. Quickly, he grabs it from you and sets it behind him, then wraps his arms around you so swiftly and so tightly, as if he'll never be able to hold you again. He gently pulls you up onto his lap, holding you close as you cried into his shoulder. He himself was crying now, holding you closer. He whispered soft affirmations into your ear, rubbing your back soothingly.

"Keij..." you whispered.

"Yes love?"

"Give up on me." you cried harder, gripping onto the back of his shirt. "Please, give up on me please, please."

His gut twisted at your words, and you thought his heart was shattered before? Oh boy. He couldn't handle seeing you in such a lost place like this.

"No, no no no, no baby never." He shook his head.

Pulling away just enough so he could see your head, he gently cupped your face in his hands.

"Look at me baby." He said softly.

You look down.

He lifts up your chin, trying to catch your gaze. More tears spill from his eyes, and he wipes away yours with his thumb.

"Why... why are you still here?" you sob. "All I ever do is drag you down and I can never meet expectations, people need me to do so much and I can never do it. At work, my family, I have to hold up my end of this relationship, I have to be there for my friends, I have to do school, I have to be at work, everyone thinks my life is great so I have to keep that up. I need to do so much babe. And I can't do it all. In this relationship I take so much and I need to do more-"

"Stop it, love."

You looked up at him, his tone had not been that serious in months.

"I know you're overwhelmed right now and it breaks my heart. But at this moment all you need to do is focus on what's happening right now."

"I-" you try to interrupt.

"No baby listen to me. All you need to do right now is hold on to me. Okay?"

You shake your head.

"Please baby. We're going to take this one moment at a time, and all you need to do is hold on to me. I don't want you to think of anything else that you have to do. Just right now you have to hold on to me. That's it. Nothing else. Nothing more. Forget about all those expectations. All I expect from you is for you to be real. And if you're not okay, thats okay, we can work through that together. Just please, hold on to me." his voice almost broke.

You stared at him, his eyes pleading. You didn't have the energy to do much else, so you did as he asked. You plopped your forehead in the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around his chest and holding on tightly.

He held you there for a bit, swaying slightly.

"I love you so, so, so much, y/n. You deserve the world, and I wish I could give it to you. You deserve to be happy, and I wish I could do that for you. I will give you all my time, all my attention, and all of my love but I'm afraid... I'm afraid that can't fix what you're going through. So I think... I think you should see someone. Get some help-"

"No please I don't want to. I don't want to. I'll get sent to a hospital and I can't, I don't wanna be taken away."

"No, I'm not going to let anyone take you away. I know its uncomfortable but I can't give you the help you need. I think you should see a therapist. If need be, I'll be with you the entire time. I am going to stick with you through this."

"I don't wanna."

"I know you don't. But I really feel like it would help you. "

"I don't want help, I want to be done. Why won't you let me give up?!" You lightly punched his chest.

"You're stuck in a rut right now, and I know it sucks baby I know, but there is a way out I promise you. We can take things slow. I want you to be comfortable, but sometimes there are necessary things that are uncomfortable. Just please do this one thing for me baby? I'll call your work for you if you need me to. I'm not gonna leave your side for a second, I promise," Keiji pulled away for a second to look you in the eyes.

There was so much sadness in them, so much concern that you almost felt guilty.

You took a deep breath. "If I were to go to a therapist, would you go with me?"

"Yes babe anything you need," he cupped your face in his hand, brushing away the stray tears and planting a kiss to your forehead. "I love you so, so, so much y/n. I won't ever leave you."

Yeah, you thought for a second, maybe there will be a better day.

[olderthannetfic]

Hi I’ve been wrestling with smtg for a bit( aka several years) and I honestly wasnt sure where to even start a convo for this and then I saw a brief mention in the comments so here I am. Im like a big Cassandra Clare fan(i am starting to outgrow her stuff but i still read for like past me’s sake) havent gotten into reading fanfic (for another fandom) until lets say recent years like a year ago, and then well like any person who obsesses over smtg i also learned stuff about the author that sounded well, like she wasnt exactly the nicest person. Especially when it came to how she started as a fanfic writer. Im confused though: the way people kinda like say, oh supporting her is bad ya know cuz of how she was kinda shitty (im being vague cuz any time i tried to look up actual like proof i just got angry sounding articles and i wasnt sure if that was like good enough??) and I look at her material now that I personally find relatable(Izzy was the first character I looked at and thought: oh its okay to be feminine AND badass? More context: my part of the world was/ is INCREDIBLY sexist) and I found so much joy in and very much like all the lgbt rep I found in it, people are still referring back to how shes horrible and im just like: i feel like i missed out on smtg everyone knew once but idk where to look to even get more info.

Anyway I mentioned how recently I got into fanfic because until I started following your blog I didnt know all the history behind it and that started to help me figure out some things about how some authors started out.

I dont expect anyone to like gimme a list or smtg like: oh this person is bad bcuz X. Im just wondrring like: why am i constantly told I shouldnt like cassandra clare? when they’ve done so much good for me. (I dont mean to think my experience is the only one or anything either ofc)

I dont mean to come off like im in denial or maybe I am idk i really just dont know where to go for this convo cuz i absolutely want to have it

--

You want my honest answer? Butthurt.

Cassie has gotten many, many chances that other people would have liked, and she has gotten them on the basis of whom she knows, from her publishing contract to her film and tv deals. People don't feel she earned those chances, and they are bitter as fuck. For example, her books got made into a film. It bombed. And then, unlike in most other cases, they went on and made a tv series of the same material. I think a lot of people look at her and see a charmed life, and it disgusts them either out of pure jealousy or because she was always kind of a douchbag.

Cassie's an asshole, but her "crimes" are so incredibly minor compared to Hollywood creeps or even compared to JKR. If you want to keep liking her books, you do you.

--

Now, as for what her "crimes" actually are, they boil down to fandom interpersonal drama, gross e-begging (kind of), and plagiarism.

She got her ass kicked off of FFN for copying lines and even whole chunks from other media and putting them in her HP fic without attribution. She later tried to excuse this by saying her fans were playing 'spot the reference', but I saw fans quoting 'her" lines all the time and not realizing they were borrowed.

She did actually plagiarize. Whether you think this is the crime to end all crimes is another story.

"Laptopgate" and the time fandom bought her an iPod are probably second most serious. CC's apartment was burgled, and she and her roommates lost some computers and things. She didn't directly ask her followers for money, but she didn't have to. A little crying on social media and some active organizing by her friend, and fandom coughed up a whole bunch of money. Something similar happened when she wanted an iPod.

This really doesn't seem like a big deal, does it? The reason it bugged people was that it was pretty obvious she had a lot more resources than many of the people donating. She could have asked her family for help replacing the laptops. I found the whole thing a bit tacky in both cases and thought she sounded like she was fishing for the iPod even if she didn't directly ask her fans to buy it for her, but this is hardly the stuff of undying scandal.

The real reason people remember laptopgate is that a fan with a medical fundraiser tried to get CC's friend to signal boost them, and the friend was dismissive. I do think she handled it poorly. It was also a time when e-begging was a lot rarer than now and when signal boosting was more than just clicking reblog. How much any of that was CC's fault is open to interpretation.

CC was also the unwitting dupe of fandom's most famous con artist, Msscribe, a bully who went after whole swaths of Harry Potter fandom. CC wasn't directly at fault, but her fame and popularity helped this other asshole operate unimpeded. It left a lot of fans disgusted with that whole social circle.

Beyond that, there's a vast list of minor bullshit. CC acted like a celebrity and lorded it over her fellow fans. She pitted her sycophants against each other. She was--and as far as I can tell stayed--an entitled, self-important whiner. Her crying about Shadowhunters not following her derivative biphobic trash books more closely was hilarious, for example. Cry moar about how your boring self insert got sidelined for a better character!

She has some one-off story I remember people being pissed about that is basically her pulling a Not Like The Other Girls and shitting on fandom nerds--or at least, that's how people took it.

CC has also spent a lot of time talking behind people's backs and being a catty bitch--possibly even a bully. But that kind of thing is hard to prove. It's all down to how different people remember and interpret various incidents, and a lot of the people she was shitty to are also major drama queens who don't always inspire much sympathy.

If you stopped reading every author who was rude or self-important at some point, you wouldn't have much left to read.

--

OTW, which runs AO3, also runs a fandom history wiki. You can look CC up there. I think it covers most of the major stuff, including a rumor I had totally forgotten about about her ~doxxing a minor~. (That was Flourish who explains the whole thing themself, and CC did nothing of the sort.)

https://fanlore.org/wiki/Cassandra_Claire

CC's major crime has always been being a privileged jerk. People see her as a Rich Mean Girl and one of us who thinks she's somehow too good for the rest of us. Except, now, she's also a famous author and not really One Of Us anymore. That's why it's so difficult for people to articulate the problem.

I think her work does have some shitty messages, but for me to engage deeply with them, I'd have to go read the whole thing instead of just chortling at a few horrible metaphors and reading other people's salt. Life's too short for that!

Go forth, nonnie, and read the teen books of your heart. CC isn't problematic in a way where you should refuse to give her money.

[chellestrash]

Care for You

Neil x reader 

warnings: none really :) just bad writing and some dyslexia typos I probably missed during proof reading so...

summary: friends taking care of each other...or more?

authors note: okay so I apologize for how long this is im not sure why it is...like t I didnt plan for this to be very long. I haven't written in a bit so if something feels a bit off...yeah I wouldn't be surprised. I hope I still managed to write Neil well enough that some of you will enjoy this. if you do, please let me know I love reading that you guys think about my lil...things I write. If you didnt like it let me know as well, so Ill know what to work on in the future. Anyways, thats it for now, thats for reading!

“You should’ve gone to the hospital wing with these.”

 You mumbled under your breath as you carefully inspected Neil’s face and neck. You knew it wasn’t his fault and you couldn’t just blame him for getting injured during a mission but at the same time, you wanted to wack him in the back of his head for not being careful enough.

„No it’s alright, it's nothing. Just a few cuts and scratches, I’m sure I can live with that.”

„Right.” You frowned a bit looking at the bigger wound going across his right eyebrow. A few inches lower and he could’ve lost an eye…or worse.

„You should've been more careful.” You spoke again and he chuckled.

„Careful is my middle name (y/n), you know it.” He lifted his arm to press his sleeve to the, still bleeding, cut above his eye but you slapped his hand away.

„Neil, that’s so dirty! You might get an infection..christ okay, come with me.”

You grabbed his wrist and lead him to the small couch in the middle of your flat.

„Wait here.” You instructed him and left the room to grab the first aid kit from the bathroom and quickly came back into the living room area. When he noticed you coming back with the kit he shook his head slowly and stood up.

„(y/n), I told you its okay, I'm alright its not a big deal.”

„Neil I swear to god.” You cut him off while picking out all the bandages, cotton pads, and other things you thought you'll need to clean him up at least a little bit.

 „Just let me clean them, okay?” You looked up to make eye contact with him again, you could see he didn't want to impose himself on you, but then why did he come to the flat in the first place? You thought.

It's not like he missed you and wanted to make sure you were still here when he got back from the field right?

Right?

„Its either me or the hospital wing so you know, choose your enemies wisely.”

„Alright!” He gestured an „I give up.” motion. before he walked over to the couch and sat down next to you.

„I trust you with this… I think? Should I?”

You rolled your eyes with a small smile and moved closer to take a look at the scratches on his face again.

„Probably not.” You joked with a concentrated expression as you poured some hydrogen peroxide onto a cotton pad.

„Well, that's very reassuring isn’t it?” He turned to face you and you huffed out a little laugh.

„I mean if you’re not sure about my provided services I don't understand why you wouldn’t just head to the hospital facility when you came back, and choose to visit me in my little single flat instead. Now shush.” You turned his head, careful not to touch any of the cuts, and proceed to slowly clean them off one by one.

„I've missed you.”

He what?

You gasped softly as you felt butterflies in your stomach. Did he mean it like, that? Surely he didn't… Your relationship with Neil was… bizarre, to be completely honest. He used to be your mentor when you got assigned to join his team shortly after you first joined Tenet. You trained under his eye, he watched you grow as a person an agent a soldier but also as a friend. As you got closer and closer together a very firm bond blossomed between you two. You were able to find comfort, peace, relief, and just simply joy in echo other companie. But almost everyone at Tenet could say they were in fact friends with Neil. He was just the type of people person who gets along with almost everyone without having to try particularly hard. It was just something that came easily to him. You on the other hand were quite the opposite, especially that despite having finished the basic and advanced training you were still quite new in this whole operation. Maybe that's why he stood out to you so much because he didn't mind where you stood in this hierarchy as some other people did. He just seemed so genuine, so interested in you,  so sweet and so-

„Hey! Earth to (y/n)?”

You blinked a few times and looked at him confused for a moment.

„.. I zoned out” You admired embarrassed.

„Oh, I've noticed. I remember you used to do that during training too.” He chuckled and you could feel the heat on your cheeks.

„Right okay, shut up. I won’t do it again!” You pushed him playfully hoping he’d just change the subject and you could move on.

„Oh please be my guest.” He smirked, „I was just admiring the beautiful faces you we're making.”

You hid your face in your hands embarrassed and plopped down onto the couch.

„I hate you.” You chuckled, looking at the ceiling.

„Nah, you know you love me.” He winked the moment you looked back at him.

Fuck.

 You sat back up on the couch and cleared your throat. As you were contemplating whether or not to try and express the way you feel for him you realized you haven't even properly starter what you promised to do.

„Oh…shit I should…” You looked at the first aid kit set out on the little coffee table 

„I was supposed to…”

„Oh…” It seemed like he also somehow forgot the main goal of this „meeting” as he gestured to the bandits and nodded 

„Right you… you go ahead please I’ll try nor to distract you too much.”

You rolled your eyes again at his little joke and moved closer to get a better view of the cuts and bruises on his skin.

You placed your palm on his temple and softly dabbed the cotton pat on the little wounds. Focusing hard on trying not to cause him any more pain, you worked on his face and neck as carefully as you possibly could. He tilted his head back to make it easier for you and closed his eyes, you watched as his breath became slower and steadier, he had to be exhausted. You placed your hand on his cheek preparing to clean the biggest cut on his face, the one going across one of his eyebrows. He unexpectedly leaned into your palm and groaned so softy, he was asleep at this point. You bit your lip and mumbled, 

“This might sting a bit.” Even tho you were certain he couldn’t hear you anymore. 

„Ah, shit!” He jumped back when you pressed the pad on the open wound. He instinctively pushed your hand out of the was and shook his head. „What happened?” He asked confused and you chuckled.

„I didn't want to wake you, you look very tired.” You explained.

„Ah thanks, guys love hearing that.” He rubbed his eyes and yawned heavily.

„Neil, the germs.”

He moved his hands away from his face quickly and held them up.

„Ah right right…the germs.”

He could be such a kid sometimes.

„Right I should… I think I should take a look at your chest now.”

He raised an eyebrow at you with a smirk.

„You think?” He run his hand through his hair.

„Oh, I can’t with you. Your shirt has holes in it so I'm assuming some of the…shards or waterer it was, got your chest too.”

„Yeah yeah, for sure.”He noodled with a small smile. 

You sighed heavily and got up from the couch.

„I'll go get you a cup of tea and you take it off oaky,?  ill look at your chest, clean what needs to be cleaned and then you can take a nice hot shower. I think you need it.”

„Oh so now you’re telling me I stink?”

He called after you as you walked to the kitchen. You rolled your eyes and smiled to yourself.

...

A few minutes later you came back with a cup of tea in one hand and a plate tuna sandwich in the other.

„I thought you could be hungry.”

You looked up and almost dropped the plate at the sight of Neil sitting on the couch, casually waiting for you with his chest completely exposed.

Fuck

You swallowed hard as you looked down and tried to get yourself together as fast as possible. Bitting the inside of your cheek you sat back down on the couch and set the thing down on the coffee table.

„…here you go.”

„Ah, you didn't have to.” He said but reached for the teacup. 

„See that's why I prefer to come here instead of the hospital wing. Better food, better tea, nicer nurses.”

„I'm your friend Neil, not a nurse.  The nurses would probably treat you much better considering how most of them have a thing for you… and I mean they're also professional trained in that filed so they’d know what they’ll have to do.”

„You don't?”

„No idea. I'm just winging it. Like everything else in my life.”

Neil laughed and shook his head.

„Well, I have to say you seem to be doing just fine so far.”

Even tho it was just a response to your silly joke, the compliment feelt sincere and honest, you couldn’t help but smile. Neil smiled back at you.

„What?” You asked.

„Nothing I just like you!”

You felt the heat on your cheeks and quickly got back to cleaning the wounds on his chest.

God hive me strength. You thought,

...

After about an hour spent on carefully taking care of every cut and scratch on Neils shoulders, chest, and back you were almost done. It was difficult to focus, with him sitting… like this the entire time but what were you supposed to do?

„Done!”

You finally said not wanting to risk getting lost in your thoughts again.

„You are?”

„Yeah, I'm pretty sure I got everything. I should talk to Ives, ask him to take better care of you when I'm not around.”

„Oh, I can take care of myself perfectly well thank you very much.”

„…and the hour and a half I just spent cleaning you up is a perfect proof of that.”

You finally relaxed as you sunk into the couch and yawned heavily. You did even realize how late it got and how extremely tired you were at that point. Neil seemed to notice because he picked his shirt up and was about t put it back on.

„I should probably head back.” He started but you quickly stopped him.

„Neil! You can’t just put this back on now. Look how dirty it is.”

„Well… I can’t just walk back to my place…like this.”

You could just stay here. You thought to yourself but didn't say anything.

„You can take a shower here.” You offered. „You can take a nice hot shower and ill look for some spare clothes. I'm sure i’ll find you something.

You liked to keep some extra clothes around in case any of your friends or family came to visit or had to stay over unexpectedly.

„You’re an angel.”

He smiled softly at you and you smiled back.

„Well, I try.” You chuckled.

You could swear he looked down at your lips and quickly back up at your eyes. For a moment you thought he was about to kiss you but he cleared his throat and got up.

„Right so…ill just.” He pointed to the bathroom over his shoulder. „I'll be in there.”

You nodded with a smile „Sure.”

...

You managed to find a black t-shirt that looked to be about Neil’s size and a pair of gray sweatpants that you thought would fit him okay. You couldn’t provide him with any clean boxers but you figured he’d be okay with the ones he had on. You shouldn’t be thinking about Neil in boxers, right?

You waited for him to turn off the water and knocked on the door gently. After a moment he opened the door a towel wrapped around his hips, his hair wet and chest still wet from the shower.

„I emm.. I got you some clean clothes I thought might fit you.”

„As I said, you’re an angel.” He smiled softly at you, run his fingers through his hair, and took what you brought him. „Right, ill be out in a second.”

Neil left the bathroom after a moment, watering the clothes you provided him with. The black t-shirt was a little tight on him but not enough to make it look bad or frill uncomfortable, the basic gray sweatpants somehow fit him perfectly. You thanked yourself in your head for picking them out and smiled at him.

„I don't think I’ve ever seen you without your suit or the filed gier on.”

„Really?”

„Yeah! I think so…”

„Well, how do I look?” You laughed at his little pose.

”You like it?”

„It suits you.” You looked him up and down. 

„It looks a lot more comfortable!”

„Oh, it certainly is.”

He walked over to the couch where you were waiting for him and sat down next to you.

„Thank you, for everything. It's so late, I shouldn’t have bothered you earlier I just wanted to see you I didn't know you were gonna do all that.”

„Yeah I know I know, don't worry about it.” You said quietly as he put his head on your shoulder and yawned. You smiled softly to yourself and rested your head against his while softly brushing your fingers through his hair.

„Someone’s tired.”

He shook his head slowly „Just a tad. I don't feel like…walking.”

„Well, you can always stay here…if you want.”

He frowned at your offer. „Oh, I’ve already caused you enough trouble tonight love.”

Your heart jumped at the little nickname.

„Oh shut up. I like having you here.”

He looked up at you.

„You do?”

You threw your hands in the air. 

„No, I don't that's why I took care of you and am now offering you my bed to sleep in.”

„Wait.” He sat up 

„Your bed?”

„Yeah?” Its better, bigger, more comfortable, ill take the couch I’ve napped on it many times before I know how to fit myself into its shape perfectly. It's a good offer!”

„(Y/n), I would never sleep in your bed!”

„hey! What is that supposed to mean.” You smacked his shoulder slightly.

„Wait! I mean, I can’t sleep in it if you’re gonna be here on the couch!”

„Right… I thought you just disrespected my bed.”

„Oh, I’d never do that.” You chuckled at his serious expression.

„You're my guest so you take the bed.”

„But” He started but you cut him off quickly.

„End of discussion! Now ill go get ready for sleep and you go and make yourself comfortable.”

Not letting him disagree with you again you quickly left to the bathroom.

...

You took a quick shower and changed into your pj's. Until this point, you weren’t even sure what time it was but your phone clearly said 2.45 am. You exhaled heavily, slowly starting to feel how extremely tired you were. You didn't blame Neil, you were so happy he wanted to see you after the mission, you enjoyed his presence, and maybe, just maybe, he enjoyed spending time with you too?

You exited the bathroom and your eyes instantly landed on Neil. He was laying on the couch under some blankets with his back turned towards you.

„Neil, what the hell?” You walked over and poked his shoulder.

„I'm sleeping.” He explained without opening his eyes.

„Neil I told you to take the bed. Your too tall for this couch.”

„Shhhhhh. I'm the guest so I decide what I want.”

You rolled your eyes.

„Fine, have it your way.”

You walked straight into your bedroom grabbed a pillow and stormed back into the living room.

„Right.” You started. „Move.”

„Sorry?” He opened his eyes and looked at you confused after he turned to face you.

„I'm taking the couch and if you’re not gonna move, fine, that's your choice.”

You lifted the blanket and placed your pillow next to his. Laying down you realized how to tint the sofa was and how close to Neil you’d have to be if this thing was gonna work.

„I'm…just gonna…emm if you could, move your leg a little.”

„Oh umm, of course. Is that-”

„Yeah, yeah that's better thanks.”

You were facing each other only inches apart, this was a bad idea. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest and your cheeks getting hotter, You tried to relax your body but minutes passed, Neil wasn’t saying anything and you just felt more and more awkward. Was that too weird? Did you make it weird between you two now?

„You're gonna fall off.” He said quietly and you snapped out of the train of thoughts.

„Sorry?”

„You’re…about to slid off the edge I-„

He quickly wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer so you wouldn’t fall. His lips were almost touching your forehead now, your whole body pressed against his chest.

„Is it okay if I…hold you like this?”

He asked politely not wanting to cross any boundaries he didn’t know.

“`Neil I can go if you want, this was stupid I'm sorry I was so petty I can just go sleep in my bed and you'll have the whole couch for yourself, you’d be much more-„

„No, I…I'd like you to stay if thats alright.”

You're heart felt like it was about to explode, you shut your eyes close and forced yourself to ask him.

„Why?” This short quite question left your mouth and you froze hearing your own voice.

„Because I care for you. More than you think I do, more than you’re allowing yourself to believe.”

In that very moment, your whole body relaxed into his touch, you moved closer and hid your face in the fabric of his shirt, you gently wrapped your arms around him and he tightened his grip around you, holding you close tenderly. You exhaled loudly into his chest and you could heard him chuckle softly.

„You alright?” He asked quietly, running his hand up and down your back.

„I'm processing.” Your muffled voice made him smile softly at the sound.

„If you need time, we can just, romantically fall asleep in each other's arms and talk about it some more in the morning?” He suggested and you huffed out a little laugh.

„Deal.”

“Deal.”

“Now just hold me close and kiss me goodnight.”

__________________

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!