#DEL teatime

[phosphophillight]

yippee! yay! woohoo! hooray! and so forth,

[aaronsguccitie]

And another!!

hotch playing tea time with his daughter and he’s forced to wear tiaras, sit in a small chair, and drink his imaginary tea with his pinky up and mom!reader is just laughing and sneaks a picture to send to the team

- 💗

💗 anon, you shall get a hundred kisses <3

Tea time

Cw: fem!mom!reader, fluff, girl dad Aaron, no use of yn, Aaron being a complete pushover

Word count: 1.2k

----

His knees ache.

Come to think of it, so does his back. Sitting cramped in a plastic pink chair, folded nearly in half will do that to him, Aaron thinks. 

His stuffed companions don’t seem to suffer from the same fate. They’re happily drinking their tea and enjoying their biscuits, much like Aaron is supposed to be doing. He almost envies the way their furry legs rest comfortably on their matching pink chairs.

“Purple or pink?” Olivia asks him, holding out two tiaras. 

Aaron eyes the sharp combs at the end of them with mild terror. He opens his mouth to decline—he almost does, really—but Olivia’s eyes are wide and impatient, exactly like yours. 

The protest gets trapped in his throat. 

“Uhh, don’t you have a blue one?” He asks, mentally kicking himself. “I seem to remember buying you a blue tiara.”

“Nope! Purple or pink?” Olivia asks again. Her own tiara rests lopsidedly on her head, its purple jewels catching the sunlight streaming in through her bedroom window. The color matches with her Princess Rapunzel dress he’d gotten her at Disney World.

Well, at least nobody else is gonna see him in it.

“Purple,” Aaron decides. “So I can match with you, won’t that be nice?”

“But you won’t be the princess, too,” his daughter says. A small frown pulls her brows together, exactly the same as his—and way too stern for a four-year-old. Aaron gently touches the scrunch until it fades. “I’m the only princess.”

“Of course,” Aaron agrees softly. He adjusts her lopsided crown. “I’ll be the prince, is that okay?”

“No.” Olivia giggles, two of his dimples appearing in her cheeks. “Silly Daddy. You’ll be the king!” She says as she grabs the purple tiara and rises on her tiptoes, trying to reach the top of his head.

Aaron bends his neck down, a hand going to her waist to steady her until her heels touch the ground again. “How could I have forgotten,” he murmurs, his small smile turning into a wince when the combs of the tiara dig against his scalp. He bites down on his tongue to trap the hiss in his throat, forcibly stretching his lips into another smile as he looks up at Olivia with mildly watering eyes.

“How do I look?”

“Kingly.” His daughter giggles. Aaron blinks back the blurriness in his vision, smiling as Olivia picks up her purple fairy wand and waves it around theatrically before she clears her throat, “And now I dec—del…delcare—”

“Declare.”

“—declare it’s time for teatime!”

She sets down her wand and pours the very strong concoction of tap water into Aaron’s teacup, her tongue peeking out as she holds the lid of the teapot to keep it steady. Some of the faux tea spills over the rim and splashes onto his sweatpants, turning the fabric into a darker gray as Olivia hands him a plate of plastic cake when she’s done.

Aaron accepts it graciously. “Thank you, sweetheart.” He places the plate next to his tea and fumbles for the teacup, struggling to hook his finger through the handle.

“Y’welcome,” Olivia mumbles, too busy with pouring the rest of her guests’ tea.

Did they poke the hole with a needle? Aaron resigns himself to picking up the teacup from its sides. It gets swallowed up by his hands, his fingers overlapping around its circumference. 

“Being a hostess is hard work, isn’t it?” He asks as he watches her hand out cake slices to their stuffed companions.

“Mommy does it an’ she’s good at it.”

“She is,” Aaron chuckles, “guess you got that from her, huh?”

“Mhm.” Olivia finally plops down onto her chair, tilting her crown again as she reaches for her own teacup with a deep sigh.

“So how have you been ruling over your subjects?” Aaron asks seriously. He turns to the stuffed animals lining the table; her teddy and Jack’s orca and a battered unicorn from Penelope, “Are you all satisfied with the way Princess Livvy is treating you?”

“Princess Olivia, Daddy.” She corrects, frowning a little and continuing again before Aaron can remedy his mistake. “They say we go t’bed too early,” Olivia pouts.

“Do they? Well,” he brings the teacup to his lips again, pretending to take a sip, “I say—”

“Daddy, y’have to do this,” Olivia interrupts, picking up her own teacup and sticking out her pinky. She looks at Aaron expectantly.

“Oh, forgive me.” Aaron says and sticks his out, too. “Is that better?”

A muffled laugh catches his attention. That in itself makes him smile, but when he hears the not so subtle click of a camera, his eyes flick to you.

Caught.

You bite your lip and throw him a wink, disappearing behind the door frame with your phone held in your hand.

Aaron turns back to Olivia as he sets down his teacup. “I’m so sorry, your highness, may I be excused for a moment?”

“You’ll come back?” She frowns, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Aaron stifles a laugh; his daughter through and through.

“Yes, baby.” He promises.

Her frown clears. “Okay.”

Aaron eagerly gets up from the cramped chair, his knees cracking when he straightens. He stifles a wince and leaves Olivia’s bedroom, immediately finding you in the hallway just outside. There’s a grin on your face as you look down at your phone, thumbs flying over the screen.

You hear him and look up, your smile turning sheepish as you click your phone shut and slide it into your back pocket.

He crosses over to you, his arms wrapping around your body, hands dipping into your pockets to search for your phone.

“Delete that.” Aaron murmurs.

You slap his hands away. “Delete what?”

“The picture.” He lifts his brow. Your mouth drops open, no doubt to deny it, and he cuts across you, “I know you took one, honey, don’t play dumb.”

The corner of your lip pinches as you try to hold back a wider smile. “That’s a cute crown. But sorry, your majesty,” you bow, “it’s already been sent to the group chat.”

“Jesus Christ.” Aaron groans, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

A grin splits your face in half. You pull his hands away from his eyes, gently holding them in your own. “So does that make me queen now?” 

“It makes you a traitor. I’ll call Garcia about this.”

You blow a raspberry in his face. “Please. She’s the first one to back it up on all her devices. You’re too late, bossman,” you straighten his tiara.

Aaron winces as the combs dig in deeper. He gently holds your wrist, his scalp just shy of weeping blood.

Your eyes shine as you press your lips together, the corners of them turning up as you try in vain to hold back a smile. “You look very kingly, your majesty.” The edges of your voice quiver with a laugh.

Aaron sighs. “Your daughter said the same.” He drones flatly.

You can no longer hold back your laughter.

[beatricebidelaire]

netflix opera night is so.

[top tier aesthetics. beautiful dresses. beatrice's outfit. esme's outfit. kitme teatime. the aesthetics.] [i cannot forgive the way they changed this. this was supposed to be a b&b thing] [beatrice baudelaire is so beautiful i can forgive anything] [i cannot forgive the way they changed this. where the hell is bertrand] [beatrice baudelaire you are so beautiful] [beatrice and olaf not getting any interactions is a disappointment frankly if they're going to change how the night went they should at least give me that] [olaf sleeping during beatrice's performance and waking up immediately after is so funny. extremely b&o behavior i can get behind that] [did i mention the aesthetics?] [la forza del destino's plot does involve gun going off accidentally and killing someone so in a way i can appreciate the perfect irony of this accidentally going off version happening right at a la forza del destino performance. it's thematically fitting. and i know joe tracz mentioned this too] [actually watching the scene made me realize i cannot get over this i hate this how could they do my wife (the opera night) like that] [where is bertrand] [one strong argument about lemony not being involved in the opera night is bc what happened at sbts] [kit is so clueless it's painful to watch] [i do understand why they felt like it's easier to combine sugar bowl theft with opera night bc they needed to squeeze this into s3 and they have much less space than the books and different media required different handling sometimes] [WHERE IS BERTRAND YOU GOT HIM FOR S3 YOU CAN AT LEAST HAVE HIM HERE] [beatrice baudelaire you are so beautiful i can forgive everything] [the consequences of changing olaf's death into an accident is that this implied beatrice's original target for the poison dart is esme and that she was willing to shoot esme over the sugar bowl. she was willing to do this after her talk with esme saying "i know you want children too" they're talking to each other like they were close friends but she was willing to shoot her and she did fire the shot it was just olaf's dad got in the way. wow] [J was in that taxi wasn't he i am constantly thinking about this post] [beatrice baudelaire you are absolutely radiant] [WHERE IS BERTRAND]

[darkacua]

Can you come to Heartlabyul's garden? I have something important to tell you. Sincerely: Riddle R.

Redrawing of this piece that I did a little over 1 year ago. Never stop practicing kids :)

Anyway… HEADCANON OF RIDDLE'S CONFESSION:

It took our hedgehog lover a good month to realize he was in love.

Another 2 weeks for Trey to find out and two more months to convince him that he should confess to Yuuken.

Various plans were concocted, each one more bizarre and outlandish than the last, as Riddle's teammates and friends were asked to help him so that he had some context of what to do and what not to do.

Kalim recommended a parade, Malleus an old-fashioned courtship asking for Yuuken's hand from his parents, Azul made a set of “impossible to refuse” offers, Silver recommended a romantic horseback ride, and a host of other ideas.

They used Jamil's plan, a written confession. Short, simple and to the point.

Riddle spent at least a ream of pages to write a "perfect" letter that would show his feelings without, in his words, they will sound demanding.

It would have been a very good confession! If only he had put it in the mail like he was supposed to.

Somehow the letter never reached its addressee, and he ended up sending a formal teatime invitation to Yuuken and Grimm.

Riddle cried that night helplessly for not being able to send his letter. He worked so hard on it!

He managed to confess at that tea party.

Yuuken told him that he didn't feel the same way. Which would have been painful if it wasn't for the fact that she agreed to go on a date with him anyway.

Your effort reached our athlete and he believes that you are admirable! Congratulations Riddle.

Somehow they end up dating and one of the healthiest couples NRC will have the honor to meet.

Español bajo el corte

¿Puedes venir al jardín de Heartlabyul? Tengo algo importante que decirte. Atentamente: Riddle R. Redibujado de esta pieza que hice hace poco más de 1 año. Nunca dejen de practicar niños :) De todos modos… HEADCANON DE LA CONFESIÓN DE RIDDLE:

A nuestro amante de erizos le tomó un buen mes darse cuenta que estaba enamorado.

Otras 2 semanas en que Trey se diera cuenta y dos meses más en convencerlo de que debería confesarse a Yuuken.

Se ingeniaron varios planes, cada uno más extraño y extravagante que el pasado, ya que se les pidió ayuda a los compañeros y amigos de Riddle para que este tuviera un poco de contexto de que y que no hacer.

Kalim recomendó un desfile, Malleus un cortejo a la antigua pidiendo la mano de Yuuken a sus padre, Azul hizo un conjunto de ofertas “imposibles de rechazar”, Silver recomendó un viaje romántico en caballo y un sinfín de ideas más.

Usaron el plan de Jamil, una confesión escrita. Corto, sencillo y al grano.

Riddle se gastó al menos una resma de hojas en escribir una carta “perfecta” que demostrara sus sentimientos sin que, a palabras de él, estos sonarán demandantes.

¡Hubiera sido una confesión muy buena! Si tan solo la hubiera puesto en el correo como se suponía.

De alguna forma la carta nunca llegó a su destinatario, y terminó enviando una invitación formal a la hora del té para Yuuken y Grimm.

Riddle lloró esa noche de impotencia por ser incapaz de mandar su carta ¡Trabajó muy duro en ella!

Logró confesarse en esa fiesta de té.

Yuuken le dijo que no sentía lo mismo. Lo cual hubiera sido doloroso si no fuera por el hecho de que de igual manera aceptó tener una cita con él.

¡Tu esfuerzo llegó a nuestro deportista y cree que eres admirable! Felicidades Riddle.

De alguna forma terminan siendo novios y una de las parejas más sanas que NRC tendrá el honor de conocer.

[sevensjesper]

Hotd characters as my favourite Taylor Swift songs <3

Hi I'm Lie and I have a passion for fashion Taylor Swift :P

Alicent Hightower

Midnights (3am Edition) Track 19 - Would've, Could've, Should've

‘And if I was a child, did it matter / If you got to wash your hands?’ ‘Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first /And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen‘ ‘God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be / The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind’

Rhaenyra Targaryen

Lover Track 5 - The Archer

‘Combat, I'm ready for combat /I say I don't want that, but what if I do? / 'Cause cruelty wins in the movies /I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you’ ‘I've been the archer, I've been the prey / Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling / But who could stay? / (I see right through me, I see right through me)’ ‘All the king's horses, all the king's men /Couldn't put me together again / Cause all of my enemies started out friends / Help me hold on to you’

Daemon Targaryen

Midnights Track 3 - Anti Hero

‘I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser’ ‘Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism / Like some kind of congressman? / (A tale as old as time) / I wake up screaming from dreaming / One day, I'll watch as you're leaving / And life will lose all its meaning / (For the last time)’ ‘It's me, hi / I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me) / At teatime, everybody agrees / I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror / It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero’

Lucerys Velaryon

Folklore Track 6 - Mirrorball

‘I want you to know / I'm a mirrorball / I can change everything about me to fit in’ ‘Hush, I know they said the end is near’

Jacaerys Velaryon

Folklore Track 15 - Peace

‘But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm / If your cascade, ocean wave blues come / All these people think love's for show / But I would die for you in secret / The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me / Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?’

Helaena Targaryen

Midnights Track 4 - Snow on the Beach (feat. Lana Del Ray)

‘Life is emotionally abusive / And time can't stop me quite like you did' ‘I (I) can't (Can't) speak, afraid to jinx it / I (I) don't (Don't) even dare to wish it’

Aegon Targaryen

Midnights Track 3 - Anti Hero (again)

‘I should not be left to my own devices / They come with prices and vices / I end up in crisis’ ‘It's me, hi / I'm the problem, it's me / At teatime, everybody agrees / I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror / It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero’

Aemond Targaryen

Midnights Track 13 - Mastermind

‘No one wanted to play with me as a little kid / So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since / To make them love me and make it seem effortless / This is the first time I've felt the need to confess / And I swear / I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian / Cause I care’

[diamondsandcigarette01]

🫖🌸🍥

[wingederato]

Hotd characters as my favourite Taylor Swift songs <3

Hi I'm Lie and I have a passion for fashion Taylor Swift :P

Alicent Hightower

Midnights (3am Edition) Track 19 - Would've, Could've, Should've

‘And if I was a child, did it matter / If you got to wash your hands?’

‘Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first /And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen‘

‘God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be / The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind’

Rhaenyra Targaryen

Lover Track 5 - The Archer

‘Combat, I'm ready for combat /I say I don't want that, but what if I do? / 'Cause cruelty wins in the movies /I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you’

‘I've been the archer, I've been the prey / Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling / But who could stay? / (I see right through me, I see right through me)’

‘All the king's horses, all the king's men /Couldn't put me together again / Cause all of my enemies started out friends / Help me hold on to you’

Daemon Targaryen

Midnights Track 3 - Anti Hero

‘I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser’

‘Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism / Like some kind of congressman? / (A tale as old as time) / I wake up screaming from dreaming / One day, I'll watch as you're leaving / And life will lose all its meaning / (For the last time)’

‘It's me, hi / I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me) / At teatime, everybody agrees / I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror / It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero’

Lucerys Velaryon

Folklore Track 6 - Mirrorball

‘I want you to know / I'm a mirrorball / I can change everything about me to fit in’

‘Hush, I know they said the end is near’

Jacaerys Velaryon

Folklore Track 15 - Peace

‘But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm / If your cascade, ocean wave blues come / All these people think love's for show / But I would die for you in secret / The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me / Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?’

Helaena Targaryen

Midnights Track 4 - Snow on the Beach (feat. Lana Del Ray)

‘Life is emotionally abusive / And time can't stop me quite like you did’

‘I (I) can't (Can't) speak, afraid to jinx it / I (I) don't (Don't) even dare to wish it’

Aegon Targaryen

Midnights Track 3 - Anti Hero (again)

‘I should not be left to my own devices / They come with prices and vices / I end up in crisis’

‘It's me, hi / I'm the problem, it's me / At teatime, everybody agrees / I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror / It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero’

Aemond Targaryen

Midnights Track 13 - Mastermind

‘No one wanted to play with me as a little kid / So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since / To make them love me and make it seem effortless / This is the first time I've felt the need to confess / And I swear / I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian / Cause I care’

[soy-gabriel]

estoy riendo como tonto, estoy divirtiéndome, estoy pensando, estoy respirando, estoy cansado

soy gabriel

[furrycollectionkid]

Boost your immune system with my #QuarantineTea #slide into my #DM for All of the #Ingredients! #Del.icio.us #Healthy #Anti-Microbial #BeatTheCoronavirus #PicOfTheDay #PhotoOfTheDay #CupOfTea #TeaTime #yolo #hot ❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B90slSMBDys/?igshid=1poci6sn258on

[afutanuuntii]

Ora del tè a Parigi, Francia. • Afternoon tea time in Paris, France. • フランス、パリで午後のティータイム。 •• ©︎ @gardy_here ••• #laduree #ladurée #maisonladuree #oradelte #merenda #tenero #teiera #porcellana #croissant #cornetto #brioche #dolce #teatime #afternoonteatime #blacktea #bakery #teapot #finebonechina #porcelain #ラデュレ #ティータイム #クロワッサン #スイーツ #ベーカリー #紅茶 #ティーポット #磁器 #tè #tea #茶 (presso Ladurée) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cldg7nbhBgg/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[gobsnacc]

All about the mun!

This applies to all blogs attached to this main blog as well!

@apothe-scary

@our-mothers-sins

Tag nine people you want to get to know better!

No! 

Stollen from: @the-expatriate

Favorite colour?

I like all colours but I suppose blue is the one I like a little more than the rest.

Currently reading?

(Too many but shhh)

Children of the lamp, the Akhenaton adventure by P.B. Kerr

Rereading Dracula by Bram Stoker so that I might read Dracula‘s child by JS Barnes next

Lord Brocktree and Rakkety Tam by Brian Jacques

The red pyramid book one by Rick Riordan

 The long dark teatime of the soul by Douglas Adams

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Living dead in Dallas by Charlaine Harris

And I’m waiting for the next book in the Dresden files series by Jim butcher. (But I’m technically re-listening to the audiobooks till the next one comes out.)

Last series?

Hilda

Tales of Arcadia, Troll hunters - Guillermo Del Toro

Stranger things

Castlevania

Last movie?

Sing 2

Sweet/spicy/savory?

Savory first, then spicy then savory then sweet then savory. (Everything MUST be balanced with savory or I will have upset stomach ALL DAY) but I like them all equally.

Currently working on?

Getting a new job

Getting a new bike/adult trike

Getting my hybrid battery in my car fixed (but I need the extra job to get money for bike and car but need bike and car to get new/extra job. See my dilemma?)

Getting to my physical therapy appointments (gonna uber for these I guess)

Updating my blogs so I can make them easily accessible so as to have fun with yall

Saving my house so my family and I don’t because me homeless!

Tagging!?

No one! If ya wanna do this, then do it and tag me.

[teatimewiththeowlpeople]

¿Quién es la gente Búho?

Artículo de: María del Corazón Inmaculado de la Sagrada Familia También Inmaculada (Los Dos están Inmaculados)

Quién es la gente búho, se preguntarán. Es imposible abordar la pregunta desde este ángulo porque la gente búho no es un quién, ni siquiera un como; digamos un quicomo; forma verbal arcaica creada por Platón; no Platón realmente sino más bien su hermano feo que se llamaba igual, de este personaje no se habla mucho porque, vamos, era feo. Socrates también era feo, dirá la porción mamona de los lectores , sí claro, pero sólo era feo; el hermano de Platón era feo, feo, feo. Ni siquiera el tipo cómico de feo, o el conmovedor, sino el tipo de feo cuya imagen quemante se inserta ineludiblemente en la memoria; el tipo de feo que sólo se encuentra en las profundidades del metro Tacubaya.

https://teatimewiththeowlpeople.wordpress.com/2017/11/14/quien-es-la-gente-buho/

[fanhellbound]

Only the teapot and lidded sugar bowl missing but I'm very pleased! ^^ This is the same kind of infamous set featured in Crimson Peak. 💗 Royal Crown Derby - Traditional Imari (1910-1920)

[kayoquito]

葛飾柴又の山本亭。 米国の雑誌 "The Journal of Japanese Gardening" 選出の日本庭園ランキングで4位になっている庭園を眺めながらのカフェタイム。 カップがかわいかったのでコーヒーとロールケーキのセットを頼んだ。 Hora de té apreciando icónico jardín japonés. Yamamoto-tei o la residencia de la familia Yamamoto, que está localizada en Shibamata, distrito de Katsushika, cada año ocupa el 3er o el 4to puesto del ranking de los mejores jardines elegido por la revista norteamericana, "The Journal of Japanese Gardening". Pedí un café por la hermosa tasa, junto con un tajada de pionono. #yamamototei #shibamata #katsushika #tokyo #tokio #jardinjapones #jardin #japanesegarden #teatime #pionono #horadete #カフェタイム #東京散歩 #東京カフェ巡り #ロールケーキ#日本庭園　#庭園カフェ #山本亭 #柴又 #東京　#visitjapan #visitjapanes #guiadeturismo #通訳ガイド #tourguide (山本亭) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYCA8p1vLAi/?utm_medium=tumblr

[wistful-giselle]

tag yourself: autumnal/halloween edition 🥀♡

ghost maiden~ ♡ a castle shrouded in mist, playing chopin’s nocturnes by candlelight, early morning walks across frosty meadows, a white victorian nightdress with a wilting lily of the valley bouquet, bewailing the day you were abandoned at the altar, the ‘giselle’ ballet, tear-stained love letters thrown from the tower or into the icy lake...

19th century vampire~ ♡ attending the opera in a moth-eaten velvet gown and lace gloves, a cursive-inscribed first edition of ‘carmilla’ from your first lover, hosting elaborate feasts for the local nobility but only drinking red wine, a dusty french boudoir of old treasures: vintage glass bottles of perfume and antique art, reminiscing with byron and wilde...

forest-born witch~ ♡ mushroom picking at night, a cat-shaped familiar composed of shadow (named circe), singing in latin to our lady the moon or hekate, velvet spell bags of herbs and tumbled smoky crystals, casting off one’s earthly form to step through the incense veil into the world of spirits, a cauldron of stewed apples and blackberries for teatime (guests include the grimm and medea)...

academic-turned-detective~ ♡ ancient ink-blotted manuscripts of homer’s odyssey, solving a century-old murder mystery, pearl buttoned blouses and shabby oxfords, wandering a cemetery with hot cider or cinnamon cocoa, haunting gloomy chapels on rainy afternoons, melting wax to seal a hand inked letter to an old friend...

angel of sweet death~ ♡ a lovely-hearted heartbreaker, worn out ballerina slippers and a black silk slip (with a cashmere cardigan for the evening), ‘girl’s night’: black and white horror films and devil’s food cake, tying a velvet ribbon to a tree branch as to not get lost in the enchanted forest, follower of lana del rey and stevie nicks, weeping tiny black pearls and coughing up dried rose petals...

[warwickroyals]

DEL SOL VALLEY - AUGUST 31 - 08:42

Transcript under the cut!

Beginning | Previous | Next

[Tamsy] Your Royal Highnesses, where do I park my car?

[Clarence] Go away! We don't like solicitors

[Tamsy] I'm not a solicitor, sir, I'm here for—

[Pyhllis] Clarence, stop that! She's here for our interview

[Clarence] Our what?

[Pyhllis] Our anniversary interview!

[Clarance] We have an interview every year?

[Pyhllis] No, it's for our wedding anniversary! Don't worry, Samsy, you can come in

[Tamsy] I can tell from your anniversary photo that you like dogs

[Clarence] I don’t, those little monsters belong to Pyhllis

[Phyllis] And I think they’re great fun. I have some to represent each of our children

[Tamsy] Oh, how cute!

[Phyllis] And unlike children they take themselves outside before making a mess

[Clarence] But they don’t understand simple commands like “shut up” and “get lost”. I thought dogs were supposed to be smart

[Tamsy, voiceover] Maybe an interview with the Papes for Teatime wasn't the best idea. I'm pretty sure Tatiana and Prince Jame's corpse have more romantic chemistry

[Tamsy] So, forty years. Forgive me for being cliche, but if you both could describe your marriage in one word, what would it be?

[Tamsy, voiceover] As I suspected, the Duke left to go golfing not even five seconds after the interview concluded. But the Duchess actually offered to show me around the house and I ended up sending the whole day with her I know that sounds lame, but my return flight wasn't until the next morning, it wasn't like I had anything else to do

[Pyhllis] I don't think I'm allowed to say this. But I hate it.

[Tamsy] Really?

[Pyhllis] It's an eyesore! Imagine asking anyone else if they have a giant painting of their brother and sister-in-law in their house. They'd say, "Gee, this lady is out of it." It's almost like we're in a cult!

[Tamsy, voiceover] Besides, the Duchess turned out to be very cool. She gave me fashion advice

[Pyhllis] Nowadays people your age tuck their shirt into their pants and call it high fashion and the nerve of these people, they brush me off. It makes me want to say, "Little girl, I've been a fashion icon since before you had your first period"

[Phyllis] When it comes to tiaras, darling, the bigger the better. That piece of tin the Duchess of Sherbourne wore on her wedding day, I wouldn't be caught dead with that thing on my head

[Tamsy, voiceover] Despite me not being able to relate to most of it

[Tamsy] I'll remember that the next time I go tiara shopping

[Tamsy, voiceover] As we were swimming, I got the feeling that she hasn't had a friend over in a long, long time. And I came away from it wondering why so many in Sunderland hate this woman

[Phyllis] Forty years of . . .

[Clarence] Pain

[Phyllis] Abuse

[Tamsy] Heh, we probably shouldn't use that type of language for the interview