#DECADE.. (scared)
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bluebugjay · 6 months ago
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ever think about how Edwin was bringing that lantern over to a dying Charles without knowing he could see him. he'd just recently escaped hell and yet he saw a boy bullied and shivering, and his first response was to try and help even with zero recognition. to try and stop what happened to him in that very same place from happening all over again. and then when Charles does see him, that realisation that it was already too late. that Edwin had been through hell and back, gone for decades and returned to the very thing he'd left to. how hopeless that must have felt and yet he kept it a secret, read Charles stories, kept him company until Charles did die because he didn't want to scare him.
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teaboot · 3 days ago
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tranny freak :)
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liizditto · 5 months ago
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Gay little clown man, I love you so much
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heartorbit · 4 months ago
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i just wanted to draw the ave mujica outfits .
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skunkes · 4 months ago
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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assiraphales · 1 year ago
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one of the funniest things is during all nine episodes luffy did not actively have one single plan except "become the worlds greatest pirate and find the one piece". he spent at max a month? less? at sea and everything he accomplished (taking down FOUR feared pirates in like a week, stealing the grand line map, finding a faithful and loyal crew, getting a bounty of 30 million on his head, etc) was mostly by accident. he stumbles into trouble and then proceeds to become the trouble
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missusruin · 7 months ago
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ordered my first bjd the other day (!!!) and it probably won't show up for a few weeks/months, but do any doll owners got fave stores for clothes and wigs and whatever else?
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empyreansentinel · 28 days ago
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remember what they took from us (butch nisha)
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spaciebabie · 29 days ago
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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bmpmp3 · 6 months ago
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sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs
#i know the ahem. channel. of some awe....... that whole situation kind of scared people off from using the word review#but like we live in the future now. you can make a review. i believe in you#AND LIKE i like a good video essay!! but im picky. because i read academic shit for fun#when i see a capital E essay im expecting theses. im expecting sub headers. im expecting multiple examples AND footnotes with asides#(and i know this is a controversial topic but i do expect them to be long. because if you read aloud a 4 page journal article its gonna)#(take a bit of time LOL maybe i just read too much academia shit. but i dunno man. theres not a lot you can say about like a big huge)#(topic with multiple angles if you only have like 10 minutes. maybe i just talk too slow. i need to breath <3 )#theres other formats too. surveys. retrospectives. informative essays. persuasive essays. etc#and like i also read lots of reviews not just of like movies and books but of like gallery exhibitions and shit!! they can be extremely#interesting a lot of work and some really beautiful writing!! nothing wrong with a review!!! theyre important#but i do get annoyed with like. the odd air of pretention i see in a lot of video essays. especially cause its usually not backed up by#the content. i dont care for those airs in academia either. nor do i like it in documentaries#just talk naturally. you'll find your voice. there might be pretention in it in the end but it'll be yours#if im making sense. i hear a lot of people talking in a pretention that is not their own. something they put on because thats what they#think they should do. you need to find your own pretention. be pretentious in a way that feels natural to youuuuuu#hell im being pretentious. about this LOL but like its my own. it is a pretentiousness ive built over the past half decade#play around. write a blog. i dunno. find your voice dear youtubers. find your voice
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octavianacidicbreastmilk · 3 months ago
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define scared however you like (closing your eyes at the bad parts, ass clenching tension, whatever)
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skunkes · 7 months ago
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i like them together....
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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I know other adults like to joke about how much pain they're in, but genuinely, please try to get your pain checked out if you're an adult experiencing it, or at least adapt your life in whatever way lessens your pain.
Your pain deserves to be addressed. Please don't "let" it get worse because you've been told that to grow older is to suffer. No, you aren't being needy or selfish or annoying. Ultimately, you are the one who suffers the most from the state of your health, and it's entirely reasonable to want your health to be up to your standards.
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cynicallyneutral · 6 months ago
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very invisible but very mean audience
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applesaucesims · 6 months ago
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After work, Niall took his car a bit further than usual, following Franklin to his home that he shared with Laura. He needed somebody to talk to about his doubts, and Franklin was the one who understood the topic the most of all.
Once inside, Franklin led his friend to a sitting room and lit the fireplace. Niall's eyes immediately jumped to a bottle of whisky that had been placed on a small table in just the right position to have a relaxing night of drinking on the couch. Although he had been trying to stay away from alcohol, Franklin seemed to be making a good point that he could just have a sip or two. Surely that could not cause any issues.
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After a number of whisky glasses that Niall had lost count of quite early on, he slowly opened up to Franklin about the worries he had about Louis. He told him about the dream that his son had told him about, and how that had released feelings of doubt he had been pushing away rather than working on them.
As he listened to Franklin's words of encouragement, Niall felt his head getting heavier and the world around him seemed to be getting blurrier by the minute. Suddenly, his body seemed to act on autopilot, and he pulled his friend in for a kiss, just as he was about to turn away from him.
Thankfully, though, Franklin pushed him away immediately. They might have been together like that in the past, but that was all it was - the past. Neither of them actually still had any feelings for the other, and they had moved on a long time ago.
Bringing some distance between them, Niall scooted away in embarrassment. In doing so, his eyes fell to the photograph of Franklin's partner, Maxim, whom he had actually introduced him to, and then, just above, another photograph of himself with Emma, his wife. What was he even doing here? Was it really that easy for him to slip into old habits and make it worse at that? What would she say if she saw him like this now?
[TRANSCRIPT]
Franklin: "So, may I offer you a drink? Let me just light the fireplace."
Niall: "Erm... what sort of drink?"
Franklin: "You still like whisky?"
Niall: "Uhm... technically... but I haven't had one in ages."
Franklin: "Really? I can't imagine."
Niall: "I swear! I haven't had alcohol since... some time after Louis was born?"
Franklin: "Maybe that's why you're so stressed out."
Niall: "I mean... I can't say it isn't."
Franklin: "Right, surely one glass won't kill you. To take the edge off, you know?"
Niall: "Right."
...
Franklin: "So, you're worried because of a dream?"
Niall: "You're gonna tell me it doesn't mean anything, aren't you?"
Franklin: "Maybe not, but either way... That's got nothin' to do with you in the end, does it?"
Niall: *sighs* "I don't know. I guess I just hate to face that part of myself."
Franklin: "You're never gonna find peace that way, Niall."
Niall: "I know. And I love Emma so much, but thinking about this makes me feel like a fraud." *hic*
Franklin: "That's ridiculous. You just like both, and most of all you like her. It's that simple."
Niall: "Easy *hic* for you to say."
Franklin: *laughs* "How are you this drunk already? I need to catch up! Let me just top up my glass and- Mh!"
Franklin: "Niall, stop! What the fuck are you doing!?"
Niall: "I- I don't know."
Franklin: "That's enough drinking for you then."
Niall: "I'm so sorry! I don't know what's come over me!"
Franklin: "You really need to start properly working through this shit. I'll help you if you need me to, but I'm not here for you to fool around with for some distraction."
Niall: "I know, I don't even want that from you. You know this."
Niall: "I'm so stupid! I never should have come here. I tell you, this thing is causing nothing but trouble in my life."
Franklin: "Look, it's fine. Just figure yourself out. Your damned sexual preferences are not the issue here."
Niall: "Right. I'll- I'll try my best. Thanks for the talk."
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hello-eeveev · 5 days ago
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fell into a bit of a cr transcripts rabbit hole and can I just say once again that I am so in love with Astrid Becke and I feel like the wizard fandom should be more in love with her too
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