#Crisis And The Healing Image

[occultamusica]

Crisis And The Healing Image (Brian Steele, Dan Woodman, Dave 3000, David Stearns, Iam Lee Ian, Sonny Blood, Troy Schafer) - Astral Crossing / Pentagrams (in Crisis And The Healing Image, 2013)

[astrobiscuits]

Chiron persona chart obs

WARNING: BRIEF MENTIONS OF ED, S*ICIDE, S*XUAL AB*SE. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND NOT TO READ THIS POST IF YOU'RE VERY SENSITIVE thank you

Stelliums show us where our main trauma or wound lies:

Stellium in Aries/1st house - body image issues/body dysmorphia, hating ones face and wanting to change it at all cost, being so focused on ones trauma that it results in excessive independence

Stellium in Taurus/2nd house - self worth issues, hating ones voice and/or being made fun of for how ones voice sounds, excessive shopping due to fear of having nothing, having stash of cash hidden everywhere in the house due to being scared of getting robbed

Stellium in Gemini/3rd house - being too scared to speak to others, hating the way you express yourself, being an overachiever at school due to fear of being seen as "stupid", fear of being run over by a bicycle or a car

Stellium in Cancer/4rd house - family problems (divorced parents, one of the parents is out of the picture for whatever reason, family members dealing with addictions, family abuse), issues when it comes to comforting yourself in times of crisis, HEAVY abandonment issues

Stellium in Leo/5th house - had to grow up too fast instead of enjoying childhood, fear of not being "the perfect parent", fear of not making it in the industry (for those pursing creative careers or following their passions), issues regarding getting pregnant and delivering a child, fear of being burned by the sun or by fire

Stellium in Virog/6th house - fear of contacting an incurable disease, issues regarding eating disorders, trauma regarding messy spaces, which results in OCD

Stellium in Libra/7th house - issues caused by getting cheated in a relationship, fear of trusting someone in a one-on-one connection, trauma resulted from business affairs which have gone wrong

Stellium in Scoprio/8th house - fear of death, issues caused by sexual trauma/sexual abuse, grooming, stalking, human trafficking, mysterious disappearances, divorce, taxes, loans

Stellium in Sagittarius/9th house - fear of not being able to experience everything one has always wanted, issues caused by not living to ones full potential, fear of travelling too far away, religious trauma

Stellium in Capricorn/10th house - fear of being forgotten and not standing out, issues regarding not looking & acting in a professional manner when needed, fear of not being promoted in ones career, the trauma is very visible to the public

Stellium in Aquarius/11th house - fear of not fitting in a crowd or a friend group, issues regarding being part of LGBTQ+ or a subculture often dismissed (POC, people with disabilities, orphanage kids, emos), trauma related to the country's government and (possible) implications in war, fear of dying in a natural disaster (earthquake, tsunami, volcano), fear of dying by electrocution or in an airplane crash

Stellium in Pisces/12th house - fear of being admitted to a prison, asylum or nursing home, having frequent thoughts of unaliving onself, fear of drowning, fear of what happens after death, fear of being misunderstood or made fun of for hearing voices and seeing things which aren't real

Moon shows us how we process our trauma and wounds:

Moon in Aries/1st house : screams, throws things around (maybe also breaks a few things), if anyone reminds them of their wounds/traumas, they'd literally break that person's neck; they might recklessly drive, play with fire or drink excessively out of anger

Moon in Taurus/2nd house : resorts to retail therapy, cooks their favourite meals, gets some comfy pillow and blankets and watches their favourite show; they're slow to heal their wounds, but they manage to do so

Moon in Gemini/3rd house : overanalyzes what happened to the point that they've thought of every scenario possible, (if they have more than one wound/trauma) switches between wounds, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with siblings and acquaintances

Moon in Cancer/4th house : cries 24/7, acts distant with people who are not close to them and defensive with those who want to talk about their feelings; they tend to have very, very unhealthy coping mechanisms (aka they resort to self-harm)

Moon in Leo/5th house : transforms their pain & wounds into a form of art - whether it's through dancing, painting, singing, acting, photography, videography; sometimes they might not recognize how much their past affects them, especially around others, they boast about how "it wasn't that bad" even though they're clearly affected by what happened

Moon in Virgo/6th house : focuses on the details, what they could have done better and what they didn't, easily becomes anxious, cleaning the house becomes a form of therapy for them; in case of physical wounds, they document themselves very well (sometimes they are even able to heal themselves, since this Moon sign in Chiron persona chart has a sort of 6th sense about medicinal procedures)

Moon in Libra/7th house : their s/o knows every pain, wound and traumas they've ever experienced, analyzes the past in a logical manner and tries to find a healthy coping mechanism, without hurting anyone else in the process; listens to sad, romantic songs

Moon in Scorpio/8th house : if someone else is guilty for their wounds/traumas, they're going to plot revenge and execute their plan in a discreet manner; often jealous, they might pursue fwb connections to stop thinking about their pain; the ones who manage to deal with their past in a healthy manner become a completely different person in the process

Moon in Sagittarius/9th house : dealing with their wounds/traumas opens a new world for them, they end up adopting a new set of beliefs as a coping mechanism, travelling to another country to get some space from their surroundings helps them heal

Moon in Capricorn/10th house : replays the past over and over again, they numb their emotions, if asked about their wounds/traumas, they answer very stoic; they also tend to be more realistic and don't like to tell themselves lies or hear lies about their trauma

Moon in Aquarius/11th house : resorts to technology to cope with the pain, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with their friends or on social media, but not with family; they might try some unusual coping mechanisms

Moon in Pisces/12th house : they isolate themselves from everyone in order to cope with the pain, meditation and breathing techniques are their to-go methods of calming their anxiety down; if they don't manage to cope in a healthy way, they dissociate and go through a depersonalization process or an addiction takes over them (drinking, smoking, they overuse medication etc.)

Jupiter shows us where we're blessed, but fail to see. The stronger the modality, the more obvious it is to other people.

♃ Jupiter in fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) and/or fixed houses (2nd house, 5th house, 8th house, 11th house) are extremely blessed and everyone is able to notice, but the native.

♃ Jupiter in cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) and/or cardinal houses (1st house, 4th house, 7th house, 11th house) are blessed, but only a specific category of people notice it.

♃ Jupiter in mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) and/or mutable houses (3rd house, 6th house, 9th house, 12th house) are still blessed, but the effect is hardly noticeable to anyone.

Those with:

Grand Trine/Kite/Yod (Finger of God)

Sun, Jupiter, North Node and ruler of the chart conjuncting MC and/or placed in 10th/11th house (minimum 2 placements)

Stellium in 10th house/11th house

-> have got amazing healing abilites and often end up pursuing careers where they help & heal society (usually as doctors, therapists, spiritual advisors, social workers, advocates who actually make a difference, etc.) They usually become famous for their healing gifts.

Other small considerations:

Ascendant shows us how we are perceived at first glance when we are dealing with pain

IC shows us how we are perceived by our family (or in a safe, secluded place) when we are dealing with pain

DSC shows us how we are perceived by our partner or best friend when we are dealing with pain

MC shows us how we are perceived in public (or in our career) when we are dealing with pain

North Node shows us our salvation (where we need to focus on in order to heal)

🕊 Sun trine Moon & Sun sextile Moon individuals have an easier time healing their traumas and wounds

🕊 Sun opposite Saturn & Sun square Saturn individuals feel the need to rebel from their father/grandparents, norms that have been imposed on them, old customs & traditions, institutions/government, in order to heal themselves

[cyberclouddream]

The Sun through the Houses

The Sun represents what motivates us and how we want to be recognized. It’s also tied to paternal influences, consequences from the past, our ability to command respect, and how we replenish energy levels.

Sun in the 1st House:

- often naturally attract followers or admirers due to their commanding presence

- have a good understanding of their personal goals

- may be deeply involved in physical health or activities

- may feel called to follow the same path as a paternal figure

- desire to leave a mark in the world can result in activism or social movements

- may suffer from identity crisis because of expectations

Sun in the 2nd House:

- fixated on [ and creative at ] making money and accumulating possessions

- have strong personal values that guide their choices

- feel pressure to meet family financial expectations

- may secretly crave more meaning then wealth

- hoarding behaviors

Sun in the 3rd House:

- can be a good public speaker, writer, or journalist

- attract sibling rivalry or support

- often feel drawn to engage in their community

- often derive their self-worth from being seen as knowledgeable or articulate

- obsessed with how they’re perceived in conversation

- often feel restless or dissatisfied

Sun in the 4th House:

- their life seems to revolve around family matters more than anything

- family matters seem to be full of drama

- deeply tied to their heritage, or traumatic past

- may be a real estate junkie

- emotional rollercoaster that stems from childhood trauma

- lots of pressure from parents or family expectations

Sun in the 5th House:

- often crave the spotlight when it comes their talents

- love experiencing romantic affairs, especially dramatic and fantastical ones

- childlike spirit

- challenges with how they’re perceived in parenthood

- their ego is tied to their hobbies

- come off attention-seeking

Sun in the 6th House:

- type to arrive first and leave last for work

- may go overboard on diets and health regimens

- taken for granted for being too focused on helping others

- perfectionist tendencies

- power struggles with bosses or colleagues

- hypochondriac or health anxieties

Sun in the 7th House:

- tie their worth to their relationships; dependency issues

- may attract partners who are passionate but prone to conflict

- have strong negotiation skills

- strong focus on marriage and commitments, with potential for idealizing and romanticizing

- partners can shape how others perceive you

- may struggle with committing due to fear of losing independence

Sun in the 8th House:

- drawn to situations that challenge your limits

- fascination with mysteries, the occult, or taboo topics

- drawn to power struggles in relationships

- inheritances, shared resources, or joint finances play a significant role in their life

- obsessive tendencies

- potential to be good at healing others through deep emotional work, like therapy

Sun in the 9th House:

- obsessed with introspection and learning, like diving into philosophy and spirituality

- addicted to traveling; romanticize adventure

- self-proclaimed guru with stubborn beliefs

- attract people from different cultures

- chronic dissatisfaction

- get caught up in superficial aspects of spirituality

Sun in the 10th House:

- obsessed with career and public image

- crave validation and recognition for achievements

- often feel overshadowed or overly rebellious when it comes to authority figures

- may feel imposter syndrome

- pressure to succeed can cause paralyzing fear

- workaholic tendencies

- relationships can struggle because too focused on professional goals

Sun in the 11th House:

- thrive best in friendships and social connections, often using them to achieve goals

- may have unrealistic ideas when it comes to aspirations, causes, and friendships

- self-worth is tied to feeling accepted and received by social circles

- friendships over family

- network over authenticity; tend to groupthink

Sun in the 12th House:

- true self often feels buried or misunderstood

- strong inclination towards introspection, preferring solitary activities like writing or meditation

- drawn to spirituality and mysteries of life

- opportunities often slip because they feel like they don’t deserve them

- may be very sensitive to the emotional presence of others

- may often feel creative blocks

- escape reality through daydreaming

[kleopatra45]

Asteroid Vesta (4)

Asteroid Vesta (4) in astrology represents devotion, focus, and dedication. Its placement in a birth chart indicates where one channels intense concentration and commitment. Vesta governs purity of purpose, self-discipline, and the pursuit of spiritual or personal goals. Understanding Vesta's position offers insights into areas where one may excel through diligent effort, meticulous attention to detail, and unwavering dedication.

Vesta in the Houses

Vesta in the 1st House This placement suggests that devotion, focus, and dedication are integral to your identity and self-expression. You may project an aura of commitment and discipline, and others may see you as someone who is dedicated to personal goals or causes. Vesta in the 2nd House Values, possessions, and material security are important themes in your sense of devotion. You may dedicate yourself to achieving financial stability or to preserving what you value most. Your investments and resources may reflect your focused commitment. Vesta in the 3rd House Communication, learning, and intellectual pursuits are emphasized in your dedication. You may dedicate yourself to acquiring knowledge, teaching others, or advocating for causes through effective communication. Siblings and neighbors may play a role in your dedicated efforts. Vesta in the 4th House Family, home, and emotional security are central to your sense of devotion. You may dedicate yourself to nurturing your family, maintaining a harmonious home environment, or preserving traditions. Real estate and ancestral roots may hold deep significance for you. Vesta in the 5th House Creativity, self-expression, and children (if applicable) are emphasized in your dedicated pursuits. You may dedicate yourself to artistic endeavors, hobbies, or activities that bring joy and fulfillment. Romantic relationships may also be a focus of your dedication. Vesta in the 6th House Service, routines, and health are integral to your sense of devotion. You may dedicate yourself to a career that involves helping others, maintaining order, or promoting well-being. Your work environment benefits from your focused dedication. Vesta in the 7th House Partnerships, relationships, and collaborations are key areas of dedication for you. You may dedicate yourself to fostering mutual support, fairness, and harmony in your relationships. Legal partnerships or contracts may reflect your dedication to balanced interactions. Vesta in the 8th House Intimacy, shared resources, and transformation play significant roles in your sense of devotion. You may dedicate yourself to deepening emotional bonds, managing shared finances, or facilitating personal and collective transformations. Crisis management may be an area where you excel. Vesta in the 9th House Philosophy, beliefs, and higher learning influence your sense of devotion. You may dedicate yourself to exploring spiritual or intellectual pursuits, advocating for social justice, or traveling to broaden your perspectives. Cross-cultural exchanges may deepen your sense of dedication. Vesta in the 10th House Career, public image, and achievements are important in how you express your sense of dedication. You may dedicate yourself to achieving professional success, assuming leadership roles, or making a lasting impact in your field. Your reputation reflects your focused commitment. Vesta in the 11th House Friendships, groups, and social causes are emphasized in your dedicated efforts. You may dedicate yourself to supporting community initiatives, advocating for humanitarian causes, or promoting collective goals. Networking enhances your sense of dedication. Vesta in the 12th House Spirituality, hidden strengths, and unconscious patterns influence your sense of dedication. You may dedicate yourself to mystical pursuits, charitable endeavors, or healing practices that operate behind the scenes. Your inner life and spiritual growth are deeply tied to your sense of dedication.

Vesta in the Signs

Aries: Vesta in Aries dedicates itself with courage, initiative, and independence. You are driven to pursue personal goals and causes that require bold action and leadership. Taurus: Vesta in Taurus dedicates itself with patience, persistence, and practicality. You commit yourself to preserving stability, building material security, and nurturing enduring values. Gemini: Vesta in Gemini dedicates itself with versatility, curiosity, and adaptability. You focus on acquiring knowledge, sharing information, and exploring multiple interests through your dedication. Cancer: Vesta in Cancer dedicates itself with empathy, intuition, and nurturing care. You devote yourself to supporting loved ones, creating a secure home environment, and preserving emotional bonds. Leo: Vesta in Leo dedicates itself with creativity, passion, and self-expression. You commit yourself to artistic pursuits, leadership roles, and projects that showcase your talents and charisma. Virgo: Vesta in Virgo dedicates itself with precision, analysis, and practical service. You focus on improving efficiency, organizing details, and providing reliable support through your dedication. Libra: Vesta in Libra dedicates itself with diplomacy, harmony, and fairness. You devote yourself to fostering balanced relationships, promoting justice, and advocating for equality. Scorpio: Vesta in Scorpio dedicates itself with depth, intensity, and transformation. You commit yourself to uncovering truths, managing crises, and empowering others through your dedication. Sagittarius: Vesta in Sagittarius dedicates itself with optimism, exploration, and philosophical inquiry. You focus on expanding horizons, promoting freedom, and advocating for global causes through your dedication. Capricorn: Vesta in Capricorn dedicates itself with ambition, discipline, and long-term goals. You commit yourself to achieving success, assuming responsibilities, and building enduring structures. Aquarius: Vesta in Aquarius dedicates itself with innovation, humanitarianism, and progressive ideals. You focus on advancing social change, supporting diversity, and promoting collective empowerment through your dedication. Pisces: Vesta in Pisces dedicates itself with compassion, imagination, and spiritual insight. You commit yourself to artistic creativity, healing practices, and charitable causes that uplift humanity.

Vesta in Aspects

Conjunctions: A conjunction of Vesta with another planet intensifies the influence of that planet on your sense of dedication and focus. For example, Vesta conjunct Mercury emphasizes dedication to communication and learning, while Vesta conjunct Mars highlights dedication to action and assertiveness. Sextiles and Trines: These harmonious aspects indicate ease and support in integrating the energies of Vesta and the other planet involved. For example, Vesta sextile Venus suggests dedication to harmony and creativity in relationships or artistic pursuits, while Vesta trine Jupiter indicates dedication to growth and expansion through optimism and opportunity. Squares and Oppositions: These challenging aspects can indicate tension or conflict that needs to be addressed in your sense of dedication. For example, Vesta square Saturn might indicate challenges in committing to long-term goals or facing restrictions, while Vesta opposition Uranus could highlight a need to balance unconventional thinking with stable dedication.

©️kleopatra45

[lunar-system]

Edward Teach: The Star.

Adapted from the traditional Ride-Waite-Smith tarot, this version of the Star shows Ed kneeling down serenely by the spring of life, bare to the world, ready to heal after tumultuous events.

Stede as the Sun to follow, Izzy as the Moon can be found here.

Longer exploration of the card's symbolism under the cut.

***

The Star: Hope, openness, especially after a crisis. Renewal, healing, restoration.

Rachel Pollack writes: "This is the calm after a great change, whether it comes after a drastic planetary shift or a personal upheaval. There are still difficult times ahead, but the Star tells us to trust."

In the card Ed is depicted with a short, growing beard. Multiple personal upheavals and great changes have already happened, and he is settling into a new reality. Who is he when he is stripped from titles, uniforms and roles? In the space of the Star, he has enough trust to try and find out.

Pollack continues: "In Star, we find our inner strength and belief. The Star teaches us to accept whatever it is, to drop all our shields, to believe. The water poured out signifies healing, emotional and physical."

Ed as the Star is learning to shine his own light after witnessing Stede shine as the Sun. Trust and belief don't come easy, but as the Star he can be vulnerable enough to try again. The water flows from an infinite source, letting the emotions come and go.

Even though the Star opens up towards a bright future, Ed carries his history with him. His tattoos, pictures from other tarot cards, tell about his past:

Chest: Three of Swords, the infamous card of heartbreak. "Trust no one."

Left side thigh: the face of the Devil from the Devil card. One of the largest tattoos he has, projecting his self-image. "I'm the devil."

Right side thigh: Lobster from the Moon card, a beast that lurks under the surface, in the unconscious. "I'm the Kraken."

Right side: wolf from the Moon card. In my depiction of the Moon, Izzy stands for the wolf. Here the loyal wolf is cast to the side, left howling after the broken heart.

Belly: Ram from the throne of the Emperor, a symbol of masculine power. The placement on the lower belly suggest a trans reading of the character.

Chest, around the heart: birds from Ace of Cups, suggesting new beginnings even for a broken heart.

With his past carved to his skin, Ed is kneeling at the edge of land. One of his feet is planted firmly on the ground while the other graces the water. In Tarot, earth is often connected to the material, such as the body, and the conscious mind. Water is the element of emotions and the subconscious. At the edge of the water, Ed is in balance, grounded both in his body and in his emotions, the conscious and the subconscious. The water he pours rejuvenates them both.

TL;DR: After great personal upheavals, Ed as the Star is ready to heal and trust. He carries his past with him, but is ready to shine his own light and have faith in himself and for the future. He is vulnerable and at peace, and he is connected both to the ground and the water, nourishing them both with the water he pours.

***

Sources

Image source: Pamela Colman Smith, 1909, republished as Tarot of A. E. Waite, 2016, AGM-Urania, Germany

Text source: Rachel Pollack, A Journey of 78 Steps, 2011, as cited in the booklet for instruction and guidance of Tarot of A. E. Waite, 2016, AGM-Urania, Germany

[k4vehrtz]

⸻ YOU'RE A CRISIS OF MY FAITH

. ✦ . starring — dom!top! t. fushiguro / m! reader

warnings — porn with some plot, sacrilege, a copious amount of religious themes, priest! reader, virgin reader ergo loss of virginity, allusion to homophobia / internalised homophobia, unprotected sex, blowjob (r receiving), deepthroating, fingering, riding, creampie, toji lowkey has a corruption kink, use of the nickname 'angel', toji refers to the reader as father once but that is entirely in a religious sense . ✦ . wc — 2.1k . ✦ . notes — we'll all pretend that didn't just happen!! anyway!! i'm so so normal about toji...and !! i don't know what exactly falls under dark content but seeing as this contains sacrilege you've been warned nevertheless. not proof read bc t**blr stressed me out

“what does —” he stops himself mid-sentence to motion upwards, “the big man upstairs think about homosexuality?”

you swallow hard, your adam’s apple bobbing. you hadn’t expected the question, naturally. especially from the likes of toji fushiguro of all people. but you answer anyway. “well,” you murmur, averting your gaze so that you’d stare out the window as the first signs of winter begin to settle in for its extended stay instead of being forced to meet toji’s pointed gaze. “we all are subject to desires that may or may not reflect god’s light, but these desires aren’t sinful unless you act or encourage others to act on them.”

he nods almost absentmindedly in response before following up with: “…even you, i imagine, as a man of god, could fall victim to such desires?”

and you pause for a beat, your jaw tightening as an image escapes the dark recesses of your mind; the neat box you’ve forced what you deemed unpleasant thoughts into.

the man in your mind didn’t look quite like anyone you knew at first. he was just a man without a name or a face — similarly to the world before god’s divine intervention, he too was without form. but then, by chance, you met toji fushiguro and his teenage son. then the man who’d haunt your thoughts began to change.

he was older, weathered by life experiences and parenting, and taller, maybe 6’2, with messy black hair that fell over his brows. his hair reminded you of the cloudless, starless night sky. then there was that scar on the corner of his right lip. you’d imagined yourself on more than one occasion leaning toward him, pressing your lips against it before he’d open his mouth and let you explore the wet cavern.

though you shake your head as if that would dismiss your thoughts, fingers curling defensively around the window’s ledge. “everyone encounters temptation in their day-to-day, but, like god’s son, we must resist.” you counter eventually. “you’re not one for idle chatter.”

“i’m not,” he agrees, his voice smooth, something akin to the feeling of silk against your skin. it gives you goosebumps and makes the hairs stand up. he puts his hands up in mock surrender, his gaze intent. you can feel him burning holes into the back of your head. “you know, i think i’m long overdue for a confession.”

“as you wish.”

“our heavenly father has declared the following in the book of james, chapter five, verse sixteen: ‘therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective’. now, in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit, amen.”

silence — and then toji sucks in a breath, his voice thick with an emotion you can’t quite grasp but has you shifting in your seat on the other side of the confessional booth anyway. you’re, on some level, disgusted by your behaviour. it’s unprofessional at best, or perhaps the beginning of your unravelling at worst. you fear it’s the latter.

“bless me, father, for i have sinned,” the words slide off his tongue with ease, “it has been two months since my last confession.” and your eyes flutter closed, or maybe you forced them closed because you feel no better than a pervert by the way you ache at every sound that comes out of his mouth.

either way, you don’t notice the way the door creaks as toji lets himself out of his side of the confessional booth and opens the door to yours until he’s kneeling in front of you, the pads of his fingers digging into your sides. the skin of his fingers is rough, worn out from the different tasks he takes on to keep himself and megumi afloat, you think. he’s become something of a handyman around town.

“to be honest, father,” he says, now directly addressing you. “i came here fer’ your guidance…you see, i’ve been havin’ thoughts lately that i don’t think align with what god wants.” and you find yourself at a loss, your eyes still closed, though your adam’s apple bobs again as you swallow your suppressed thoughts. “my guidance?” you repeat quietly, “confess your…thoughts…then, and seek forgiveness. it’s not a sin unless you act on those thoughts.”

he lets out a pleased hum at that, leaning forward so that his face is practically buried in your clothed crotch. “so,” he counters, “if my understanding is correct, would it be a sin if i told you to spread your legs f’me?”

you don’t trust yourself to speak right now — not when your thoughts are all muddled. so, you simply nod and toji clicks his tongue. “but sin or not, you’re going to anyway because you and i both know how we feel about each other, right? c’mon, use your big boy words and tell me.”

the smart thing—no, the right thing to do here would be to say no. adamantly deny the lingering touches and glances that the two of you had come to share. affection between two men could only go so far. but then again, you’ve gone so much farther in the safety of your bedroom long after the sun has set. how much longer could you shamelessly show your face to the other members of the church and listen to them confess their deepest secrets to you? you’re parading as a righteous man when you’re anything but.

if it turns out to be as bad of a sin as they say, god will strike you down.

turns out it’s not as bad of a sin as they say — or maybe it is and you’ve yet to receive divine punishment.

“god works in mysterious ways,” you say under your breath but toji hears it anyway. how could he not when you’re in such proximity to each other? you hadn’t meant to say it out loud but it doesn’t matter. and toji (ever the charmer) takes it upon himself to respond, “maybe he brought us together for a reason…or maybe i’m one of lucifer’s lackeys sent to seduce you.”

you make the conscious decision to ignore that which seems to entertain toji even more. he’s ridiculous in ways you can’t fathom. like…the way he’s got your legs spread, back pressed firmly against the wood of the confessional, your thighs trembling as he clicks his tongue, “spread yer’ legs a little wider f’me angel, s’not enough f’me to suck that pretty cock.”

he… he knows what he’s doing. whereas you were clumsy and inexperienced. but, to be fair, you had taken a vow of celibacy when you were twelve.

now, though, you’re experiencing true pleasure for the first time — and with a man, no less. you tilt your head back in what little space the confessional affords you as toji gives your balls tentative touches, maybe light squeezes, as he aligns the head of your leaking cock with his mouth. you’re embarrassed, warmth flooding your cheeks, but you can’t look away. not when this is all you’ve ever wanted.

there’s pre-cum on his lips; your pre-cum. it’s there, as clear as day, and he’s entirely unbothered. all of his attention is on your cock. your cock that’s throbbing as he sucks on it. pre-cum and saliva mixing. it’s all so new to you.

as for him…well isn’t this cute? you’re trying your hardest to stifle those needy moans of yours, he can tell. but no matter how much you bite down on your lower lip or how you press your hands against your mouth those pretty sounds you make always find a way of escaping. part of him, somewhere deep down, feels guilty for corrupting you like this. but perhaps he doesn’t feel guilty enough.

he continues to work on your cock, sucking on it whilst simultaneously fondling with your balls. you’re quivering, rutting your hips forward now and then. occasionally you go too far and it scares you at first — you didn’t mean to push your cock all the way to the back of his throat! ever the unbothered, though, he welcomes it until you’re spurting your load down his throat. and he swallows, utterly content.

then he coos at you, bringing a thumb up to your face, and tracing the outline of your jaw. “don’t worry about me, angel, you’re not going to hurt me. what you’re going to do f’me is let me reposition us so i can see your pretty boy hole, m’kay? my boy can do that f’me, right?”

my boy. the idea of being his. after so long…it only feels right. so, you allow him to readjust your position so that you’re straddling his lap and somewhere in the process you both disregard your clothes.

“you’ve been thinking about my cock? that’s why yer’ hole is winking f’me? all ready to take my cock like a big boy?” he asks and you nod your head eagerly. every word that comes out of his mouth is dirty but your reactions are the icing on the cake. you’re not the quiet, unassuming priest he met by chance all those months back. and to think that he’s the reason why.

well, he doesn’t linger on the thought. you’re impatient, squirming on his thighs in search of friction. but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t get him going and he may be many things but he would not force himself into you without properly preparing you to take him.

so as much as you whine about it, he ultimately takes his time with you. the nearest lubricant happened to be some sort of oil, but he made sure that it was safe to use before coating his fingers in a generous amount. then he oh so carefully drags his finger across your hole. it makes you shudder, but after a few minutes of this, you find yourself unprepared for the stretch of fitting a singular digit in. it hurts and the moment you so much as whimper toji’s pressing his lips against yours. the same lips that were around your cock only moments ago. his lips are gentle, soothing, even.

and he keeps it like that — his lips against yours as he slowly introduces more fingers into your ass. it takes a while but your pained whimpers soon morph into more desperate, filthy little noises as he drags his fingers in and out of your hole before curling them, tips grazing your prostate.

you want it, you decide. his cock, that is. you want his cock in your ass beyond a reasonable doubt. it’s all you need. bouncing on his fingers feels good but you just know that his cock would feel so much better.

“this is a sin, we’re both sinning,” you announce, your words strong but your delivery coming in between laboured gasps as his fingers continue to graze your prostate. “so i expect you to fuck me like you mean it.”

and he doesn’t need to be told twice. with a scoff — one that sounds more amused than annoyed — he pulls his fingers out of you. shaking his head as you whimper at the loss. but it’s soon replaced by something bigger and much thicker. it’s his cock, covered in the same oil, and you almost can’t believe it when he’s aligning it with your entrance, pushing past the tight ring of muscle.

you have to take a few breaks before you fully sink on him with a low groan. he makes you feel so full and he hasn’t even moved yet. and when you take it upon yourself to ride him you revert to the softheaded boy he makes you out to be.

your movements are clumsy — mediocre, you’re sure of it. but toji doesn’t intervene. he simply leans back, big, warm hands on your hips, while you figure out your rhythm. and after a few failed attempts you find one that works for both of you. it feels good, it feels great even. his hard cock filling you to the brim while you all but mindlessly bounce on his cock, your walls clenching around his throbbing length.

you’re going to cum soon, you’re sure of it. and when you do eventually watch through teary eyes as your cock spurts ropes of cum onto his stomach you’re not surprised whatsoever. toji, however, takes a lot longer to cum. you’ve probably cum at least two more times by the time toji takes control, his grip on your hips tightening as he angles you just the right way to hit your prostate with each thrust of his hips upwards. your toes curl, eyes half-lidded, and you just barely acknowledge the warmth of his semen in your ass.

all you can think of, and just barely manage to stutter out is: “you’ve fucked me,” and he stares up at you with a smug smile, chest heaving as he copes with his orgasm that has been a long time coming, “yeah, i’ve fucked yer’ pretty boy hole.”

[bioethicists]

Come Chat about Psych Abolition + Harm Reduction!

Over the past several weeks, I've hosted 5 Zooms where we chatted about psych abolition + its futures + the work we want to see in the world. It was a deeply healing experience for me + I appreciated hearing from all of you so much more than you could even know. As I discussed, I am hoping to host a second set of these Zooms, this time 6 in sequence, focused on harm reduction + psych abolition. Harm reduction is both my vocation + my passion in life + I'm really excited to share about it with you all.

As some people requested, the format this time will be a little different- I will open each session with a brief (~15 min) presentation from either myself or one of my comrades discussing the topic + explaining crucial works in a way that is accessible to someone with no prior knowledge of harm reduction. After that, we will chat similarly to the format of the first set of meetings, bouncing ideas off one another + sharing what resonates with us + what doesn't.

A reminder to anyone who wants to attend that under no circumstances may anyone contact the authorities as a result of anything spoken about during the Zoom. Free discussion of self-injury + suicidality + substance use are expected without fear of being “crisis” intervened upon. That being said, the goal of these chats is not necessarily to be a support group but more to talk about psychiatric abolition, build community, + increase knowledge.

I will be doing 3 weekday evening sessions + 3 midday Saturday sessions (apologies to those who observe Shabbat! My Sundays became a bit haywire), hoping to accommodate people with different work schedules + time zones. They will be via Zoom. Each topic will repeat 2x, but I still encourage people to attend both if they want to chat more about it! 'Lurking' (aka camera off, no speaking) is encouraged! Any way that you want to show up is okay- we regularly have people attend who do not engage at all, or only engage in the chat. Chat messages are read aloud by me to ensure that chat participants feel equally included in the group.

Also, I am looking for people who have resources that may be helpful for these, as well as people who might be interested in speaking about their experiences with these topics. Unfortunately this is all just done by me, in my office, so I don't have compensation to offer, but anyone who wants to contribute in any capacity is encouraged to reach out <3 Elliott @trans-axolotl will be giving the presentation portion for Harm Reduction (Self-Injury + Suicidality).

Also, if you would like to join the Madness + Liberation forum where we discuss psychiatric abolition at greater length, please feel free to fill out my Google Form here.

Those of you who need a dial-in number, please message me on Tumblr or send an anon + I will provide it.

Resource Masterlist

Summary of the first set of sessions, Substance Use

Summary of the second set of sessions, Disorderly Eating

Summary of the third set of sessions, Self-Harm

(image by asako narahashi, 2003)

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: annual energies and potential surgeries associated with the year

the outer rim of the wyrd web foretells the themes of our year ahead. today i will be covering some common surgeries that tend to occur. in no way does one number mean a single surgery type. each number can mean different surgeries - multiple surgeries - no surgery... this is just what i associate medically with these energies and i have seen correlate with other charts when surgery occurred. your lack of a number correlation with an experience below does not mean to minimize your experience. this is a general hypothesis not a fact.

tw: sensitive topics like amputation, ivf, addiction, weight, physical trauma, and end of life care are included in post.

1 (the magician): laser surgery

skill, precision, and transformation. this technique uses precision tools to create change in the body.

2 (the high priestess): diagnostic surgery

intuition, secrets, and hidden knowledge. seeks to uncover hidden issues or provide clarity about a medical condition (will be common for 2000 baby around the time doctors start recommending colonoscopies and mammograms).

3 (the empress): fertility surgery

surgeries like in vitro fertilization (IVF) or other fertility-related procedures.

4 (the emperor): orthopedic surgery

structure and stability. anything involves bones, joints, and structural support of the body, resonates with this energy.

5 (the hierophant): cardiovascular or oral surgery

what maintains order/structure in the body a.k.a. anything dealing with the heart and blood flow. oral surgery is because of this card connection to the throat and sharing of beliefs which requires the mouth - it might be time for your wisdom teeth extraction.

6 (the lovers): cosmetic or reconstructive surgery

this is often elective surgery / chosen for personal reasons related to self-image.

7 (the chariot): neurosurgery

deals with the brain and nervous system (the body's control center), which aligns with the chariot's themes of mastery and control.

8 (strength): physical rehabilitation surgery

requires a lot of resilience as muscles and tendons aren't easy to heal...

9 (the hermit): gastrointestinal surgery

involves the digestive system, relates to the internal processes and inner workings (aligning with hermit energy).

10 (the wheel of fortune): emergency surgery

often needed unexpectedly and dictated by fate, aligns with the theme of chance.

11 (justice): corrective surgery

aims to fix or balance out bodily functions or appearance, mirrors the themes of rectifying and balancing.

12 (the hanged man): organ transplant

sacrifice, suspension, and new perspectives. transplant surgery involves the sacrifice of one organ for the life of another, offering a new lease on life.

13 (death): amputation

a literal removal or ending of a part of the body, that can also lead to a transformative process of healing and adapting.

14 (temperance) : bariatric surgery

used to achieve weight balance and improve health.

15 (the devil): addiction, breast reduction, and reproductive surgery

surgeries that address addiction-related issues, such as gastric banding for overeating. but also reproductive surgery like a tubal ligation or vasectomy. any surgery where something big/open becomes small, constricted, snipped, or thinned.

16 (tower): trauma surgery

sudden upheaval, destruction, and revelation. this type of surgery is often performed in response to sudden, life-altering accidents or injuries, echoes the energies themes of sudden change and crisis.

17 (the star): reconstructive/plastic surgery

hope, healing, and renewal are themes of this energy - this surgery which restores form and function after trauma or illness, aligns with the themes of healing and rejuvenation.

18 (the moon): biopsies and tissue collections

biopsy involves extracting tissue to investigate potential issues, often when there’s uncertainty about a diagnosis or the presence of something hidden (like tumors or other abnormalities).

19 (the sun): pediatric surgery

performed on children and ensures their health and vitality, which connects with the energy's themes of life, energy, and well-being.

20 (judgment): organ transplant or some other life changing/saving surgery

life-saving surgeries, such as heart or organ transplants, can offer a second chance at life, reflecting the energy's themes of renewal and awakening.

21 (the world): making a full recovery or end-of-life care

surgeries that lead to a full recovery or decisions around end-of-life care align with the themes of closure and achieving a state of completeness found with this energy.

22 (the fool): exploratory surgery

represents the unknown. aligns with entering a medical situation without knowing what will be found.

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic." button if you want to see a specific topic or theme next!

click here for the masterlist

click here for more web of wyrd related posts

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices.

© a-d-nox 2024 all rights reserved

[la2yn0va]

lf you have the time to make part 4 of friends after the events of part 2 stellaron hunter m/n take a break so he go to xianzhou to see the event ( moze,jiaoqiu,any chance feixiao saw then and go to he friendly enough to talk them) image feixiao saw m/n watching her.fighting hoolay and joined her and fight along side any characters of your choice

BTW you will have finished it I don't know what happened next BC I will have a break to HSR so yeah I WANT FLUFF AND ANGST (oh boy this one will be different)

Friends…?

Note: 2.5 is out, I can finally do this! This can be taken as romantic or Platonic.

———

Kafka: M/n~

M/n: Kafka.

The two greeted each other. M/n cracked his neck and walked over to her.

M/n: So what’s happening? Was firefly talking shit again?

Kafka: Hah. Since when did firefly ever do such things? Are you still held up about our little ‘bounty’ competition?

M/n: Your god damn right I am! She came in outta NOWHERE and took my place as the second most dangerous stellaron hunter! Fuck that! She used a whole as fucking mech suit to do that!

Kafka watched, with an amused smile. It’s always a joy to see m/n rant on about this like an irritated child. She let him talk for a bit more, before patting his face.

Kafka: Now now. As much as I’m enjoying this, I’m afraid you have a mission~

M/n: Hah? I do?

Kafka nodded

M/n: FUCK!

He flicked his body around, walking around before stopping and taking a breath.

M/n: Come on! I had to take care of that little trailblazer in belabog and the xianzhou abit before it was reveled I was a stellaron..— WHATEVER—! Sigh, what’s the mission?

Kafka: Similar to fireflies mission in penacony. You’re going back to the xianzhou. Elio has seen that you must find something there. That and, you must lend a helping hand when the problem comes.

M/n: Back to the xianzhou? and I have to find something…is it something internal like firefly…when do I leave?

Kafka: You have 5 minutes before wolfie teleports you somewhere safe at the luofu. Put on your best outfit, handsome.

She waved before walking out of his room. M/n stood there for a minute before sighing.

M/n: Firefly found something at penacony, and now me… is Elio trying to heal us or something? No… we have nothing to lose anyway… why would destiny bother with that?

-Timeskip-

M/n had been at the xianzhou for not even 2 hours and shit had already hit the fan. Guess that’s the xianzhou specialty nowadays. M/n had been walking around, rooftop to rooftop, trying to find anything.

He did see the nameless and played around with them for a bit, before leaving. And now, hoolay had escaped and his friend jiaoqiu had been captured as hostage.

M/n cursed at the whole situation. A part of him still was a cloud knight, seeing everything go to shit had stung him, but it wasn’t what bothered him. Honesty, the whole luofu could get destroyed and he wouldn’t care. But the borisin have his friend!

As he was searching for him, many unpleasant memories came rushing back to him. How he left the yaoqing, how he joined the stellaron hunters to revert himself back to how he was before he was forced to face an identity and internal crisis after meeting his ‘o so great mother’ how he regretted the way he left, but ultimately he accepted all this.

He eventually came across moze, trailblazer, and feixiao. He stopped, seeing how injured Moze was and listened in to their conversation, learning that hoolay was headed to the ship where the war dance was being held.

He immediately headed there, managing to jump his way up there. He quickly searched the entire ship, finding some borisin and killing then off after asking for jiaoqiu’s location. Apparently only hoolay knew. Much to his annoyance and slight excitement. He felt the ship shake and immediately sped up to the arena, seeing feixiao face off with hoolay.

He watched silently. Should he help? Why should he…?! It was HER fault why Jiaoqiu got kidnapped in the first place…. No.. no he’s just being childish. He jumped up and landed a diving kick onto the warheads jaw, having enough strength and rage to break his jaw.

Feixiao, March, Yanqing, and yunli watched in pure shock. Stellaron hunter m/n was here! But he was helping them!? M/n didn’t face them yet, he landed on the ground before turning around and slamming a fist onto hoolay’s chest, pushing him away from them.

March & Feixiao: M-M/n!?

Yunli & Yanqing: Stellaron hunter!?

M/n: I see I’m famous

He joked turning to face them, well mostly feixiao. Walking towards her, she clicked her tongue before getting ready to fight.

M/n: Your pointing that at the wrong person.

Feixiao: What’re you doing here!

M/n: Tsk. You see me after our little meeting in the interrogation room and this is how you react? Typical. I’m here to help fix YOUR fuck up.

Feixiao: M-my.. what’re you—

M/n: Jiaoqiu is captured. So point your damn blade at that mutt over there!

He stood besides her, talking out his own dual blades. Feixiao could only stare in surprise. She knew that m/n’s meant to make her feel guilty for Jiaoqiu, which worked, but… she can’t help but feel happy that he’s here, fighting along side her once more.

Feixiao: Fine.

March, Yunli, Yanqing: WHAT!!?

M/n: You three are still here?

Feixiao: Relax. Right now we have a common enemy. And that’s hoolay. We’ll deal with the m/n situation later!

M/n: Glad you care about me THAT much!

He bit back as feixiao smiled. Hoolay roared and ran towards the duo as they dashed in. The two began to bombard hoolay, their old teamwork slowly reviving and putting on a show for anyone who watched.

Feixiao couldn’t help but have a smile carved in her face. What was meant to be an emotional turmoil for her was quelled with m/n’s presence here. Just like back then. How it should’ve been, how it SHOULD be.

Hoolay was quickly defeated, but then ripped his heart out and threw it in the sky, infecting foxian’s with moon rage. Feixiao however, used her power to swallow the crimson moon, becoming the enemy. The trio swordsmaters wanted to help. But m/n refused, out right kicking them down to the luofu, leaving the arena with only HIM and feixiao.

-Inside Feixiao’s Mind-

Hoolay: Ahh.. that man. M/n? Possibly your biggest regret.

Hoolay teased as an imagine if a confused and crying m/n appeared in front of him and feixiao. Feixiao’s eyes widened as she stared at this afterimage.

M/n: I hate this… why do I even care!? Why should I care!!? I DONT GET IT!! WHAT THE HELL AM I MEANT TO FELL HERE!! AM I EVEN HUMAN!!? HELP!! WOULD SOMEONE JUST… HELP!!

It yelled, making feixiao wince at the sight and hoolay laugh.

Hoolay: The “lacking” general. Lacking in worries, regrets, and rivals! Hahahaha!! What a pathetic front! This one man destroys that foolish title of yours!

Another afterimagine appeared, showing m/n standing ontop of corpses of abominations and borisin, His eyes looked dead, his body limp.

Hoolay: Instead of helping your ‘friend’ you sent him off to fight in a war! And that’s when he realized how you truly felt about him! You only ever saw him as a soilder!

Feixiao’s eyes stung as she walked up to the afterimagine. Which changed to make its head stare ahead, right where Feixiao stood.

Hoolay: A capable warrior indeed! A powerful solider that was meant to be used by their superior! A remarkable weapon! That’s all you ever saw him as. And he knows it!

M/n: I’m…not even human. When have I ever been… even to the cloud knights. I’m just a pawn, a dog meant to die when they order me to… even SHE sees me as a dog…

Feixiao reached out, putting her and on his face as her saddened eyes stared into his dead ones as hoolay continued to torment her.

Hoolay: You only ever comforted him once, and you made it clear that you just wanted him at his best so he could battle!!

Feixiao: You were never a dog nor solider in my eyes.. your were ALWAYS my friend. You will forever be my closest friend… it’s me… I’m the one who saw myself as a weapon! You were always the only one that made me feel human!

She yelled, before slapping the afterimage away, once again ridding herself of the guilt she carried within herself for all these years. Hoolay didn’t seem pleased as a battle quickly escalated between her and a shadow of herself, the darkest parts of her.

As she held up her waraxe, two people appeared beside her. Two m/n’s from her own mindscape.

Evil!Feixiao: What?!

Feixiao: M/n…

Past M/n: You look troubled general~ don’t tell me that your scared I’ll take your general title~

Present m/n: Get your head together. You always pull me into your shit feixiao.

She looked at the two before smiling as the three got ready to battle hoolay.

-Timeskip, after the battle-

M/n groaned as he flopped against a wall of an alleyway. He finished his battle with feixiao and hoolay, and now he was tired, very tired. But, he didn’t let himself rest, he still needed to find jiaoqiu.

He had to escape from cloud knights and now was pushing himself to continue his search. He decided to head to the alchemy commission, to steal some ornaments. Once he arrived, he saw jiaoqiu! And he was walking!

He sighed in relief, knowing he can leave in peace. He took out his phone and messgaed silverwolf, ready to get teleported away. Only for her to replay “Elio said you still have some people to confront”

M/n: …fuck me…

He sighed before watching jiaoqiu walk towards the waves. He waited as feixiao walked to jiaoqiu and moze reveled himself, but he froze. Should he actually go out and talk to them? Does he have that right anymore?

Moze: Will you revel yourself.

Moze said as they all faced the direction where m/n was. M/n sighed, knowing he should’ve expected them to know he was here. He walked out, holding his side for a few seconds before facing them.

Moze: M/n..!

Jiaoqiu: What..!?

Moze said, shocked that it was him that was spying on them. Feixiao offered him a warm smile, and m/n looked back with slight irritation. Looking at jiaoqiu and his much duller eyes, showing m/n his blindness.

M/n:…I blame you.

He said looking at feixiao. Whose face twitched with guilt. Moze looked towards Feixiao, wondering if he should attack, but she shook her head.

Jiaoqiu: M/n..? Is that actually you…!

M/n:…yes.. it’s me—

M/n’s eyes shot open, seeing Jiaoqiu running towards his voice with a clenched fist. He raised his hand but stopped, deciding to not block it. He allowed jiaoqiu to hit him, actually feeling some blood drop from his nose.

Jiaoqiu: You have any idea how much I’ve wanted to do that…?

M/n slowly looked back, swiping the blood from his nose away with his thumb.

M/n: Yeah. Some level of idea.

He said moving his hand to ruffle his hair like he always did back then. Jiaoqiu allowed it to continue for a few seconds before slapping his hand away, not forgiving m/n.

M/n looked saddened by this but understood. He looked towards moze who looked indifferent of the whole situation, but m/n could see through moze. He was happy, and abit irritated m/n was here.

M/n: it is nice to see you again, Moze. Taking care of lil’ jiao for me?

Moze nodded and jiaoqiu looked away after hearing his old nickname. M/n looked towards feixiao. Looking abit more stoic.

M/n: general.

Her ears twitched at the title, shaking her head.

Feixiao: No please. Call me feixiao.

M/n:….feixiao.

He re-greeted, which earned a soft smile from her. M/n sighed, not knowing where to go from here.

M/n:…you all have something to say to me. So say it. I already checked the area. It’s just us here… let me have it.

Jiaoqiu: Your a selfish prick.

Moze: Your an Irrational fucking mongrel!

Feixiao: Your a reckless dumbass that doesn’t think of others first!

M/n, stayed still. Accepting the verbal insults. He crossed his arms and looked away, his mind still in abit of a frenzy. After about 10 minutes of verbal abuse, the three calmed down.

M/n: well…guess all that was warranted.

Jiaoqiu: You think?

Jiaoqiu bit back. M/n just sighed and responded with a ‘yes’

M/n:…well. I believe we’re done here.

He turned around but his hand was instantly caught by feixiao.

Feixiao: Wait!

M/n did as he was told. Standing still, he looked back to see feixiao and her pleading eyes, looking as if she’d die right there if he left.

M/n: what do you want general.

Feixiao:…I know.. you don’t like me. Back then. You came to me for help because you weren’t truly at all good with emotions. So when you met your—

M/n: skip the fucking recap.

Feixiao: Mm—…. I’m sorry. I’m sorry my actions that day, which left you even more in turmoil than you already were in. I’m sorry I was being a general and not a friend. I’m sorry I made you think you meant nothing to me… in truth you meant everything to me. You WERE everything. Not just to me, but to us.

She said, holding out an arm towards moze and jiaoqiu.

Feixiao: Please… tell me how I can fix this. There has to be a way. A solution! Please, tell me anything. I’ll do anything to prove how sorry I am.

M/n: oh? And what if I want your life.

Feixiao: Take it.

Jiaoqiu and moze released a slightly surprised sound, as m/n held his blade against her neck.

Feixiao: If that’s what it’ll take for you to forgive me. Then I’ll gladly die by your hands.

M/n:….tsk. No need to be serious…. I forgive you…

He said, putting his blade away. Feixiao looked surprised but smiled, allowing the most joyful smile ever to grace their eyes. M/n, released a breath, turning to leave.

M/n: I guess we’re don—

Feixiao: Can you stay longer!

M/n: huh..?

Feixiao: Can..can you come back! Stay with us. Become a cloud knight with us again!

She said desperately. Wanting to spread more time with him, as did moze and jiaoqiu. M/n looked away and scratched his hair.

M/n: i don’t think I—

He was cutoff by a notification from his phone, taking it out and seeing a message from… blade?

Blade: Kafka has informed me to message you. She said your mission was complete, I read your script. If you want another opinion, I’d suggest you either take your generals head, or work on fixing your relationship with them.

M/n: no fucking way he wasn’t manipulated into sending this message!!

He said in his mind, but sighing. Putting his phone away. He looked towards the three and walked back to them.

M/n: Lucky for you, I have time off… let’s..get a party going I guess.

He said, abit awkwardly. Feixiao smiled and jumped onto him, hugging him tightly, much to his surprise. Jiaoqiu also joined in while Moze simply patted m/n’s head.

Moze: Let’s get a move on. I haven’t cleaned your house today.

M/n: You’ve been cleaning my house this whole time!?

-The End-

[trans-axolotl]

content note: discussion of suicide.

this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.

when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.

there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.

as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.

i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.

i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.

there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.

i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.

Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]

(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)

[fanfic-obsessed]

Time Given and Taken

This one is another time travel fix-it, also somewhat AU even beyond the time travel.  Our time travelers are Obi Wan Kenobi and Commander Cody, both from after their own deaths.  Let’s even put it after the Empire falls. 

They have reunited and through Force Shenanigans are sent back to five years before the Clone wars start (dealers choice if they chose to go back or just found themselves back in time), they land specifically on Ord Mantel, their bodies have been reformed at peak age and physical fitness (Late 20’s), there is not chip in Cody’s head and his aging has been slowed to match Obi Wan’s force assisted aging (Look if the Force has to build their bodies anyway it might as well get the best results possible); but we’ll get back to them in a moment. 

Now The Force did have to make some preparations for them, as it could not have two versions of the same soul existing in this universe at the same time.  Thus, in this universe,during the Naboo crisis Padawan Obi Wan Kenobi died in place of his Master Qui Gon Jinn. Jinn was still struck by Maul and Obi Wan did still bisect the Sith, but then the Padawan used a nearly unknown healing technique to heal Qui Gon at the expense of his own life.  Padawan Obi Wan’s last words to his master were ‘You said the boy needed to be trained, now you can’. He was mourned by everyone who knew him. 

That same year Unit CC-2224 was decanted stillborn, which happened at about the same rate of stillborns/miscarriages in natborn births. The Kaminoans did the typical cursory exam to make sure there was not a larger issue, and found that there had been a small difference in the nutrients in CC-2224’s growth pod that resulted in the stillbirth. No one knew to mourn the being he would have been at all. 

Having Qui Gon Jinn as a master did not actually make things better, or easier, for Anakin; though it also could be argued that it did not make things significantly worse either. It was different though. Though Qui Gon had more experience than Obi Wan would have in the original timeline, there were other issues now at play.  And Anakin was growing up in the blinding light of the memory of Obi Wan Kenobi, the perfect Jedi padawan who killed a Sith then died to save someone.  He was also growing up in the shadow of Xanatos, the talented, powerful former padawan that Fell and died a decade ago.  This is offset, just a bit, by Feemor coming back, telling Qui Gon that he could kriff off with his repudiation and installed himself as Anakin’s Padawan brother (“like I should have with little Obi Wan”). It is made worse by Anakin overhearing the wrong parts of a few conversations that heavily implied Obi Wan died because he felt he had little left to live for (Because Obi Wan was being replaced by Anakin)

It is likely that, left alone, growing up with the ghost (in tha he haunted the narrative, not that he was actually there) of Obi Wan would have made Anakin resentful of his dead padawan brother.  However Palpatine, who he still had frequent private meetings with (look no one was suspicious of this happening the first time around, Qui Gon would likely not have felt it was suspicious either), never met any potential resentment that he could not turn to his advantage.  Instead of letting resentment grow for Obi Wan, Palpatine instead leaned into this saintly memory of a young man Anakin only spent a little time with (a lot of, ‘I’m sure young Obi Wan would not have treated you like that’), something similar to what he supposedly did with Qui Gon in canon.  Basically polishing the image of Obi Wan Kenobi in Anakin’s head until the dead Padawan could do no wrong. Palpatine could have eventually used the memory of Obi Wan to further separate Anakin from the Jedi (“The Jedi let Obi Wan Die/Got Obi Wan Killed because he was the last good Jedi” kind of rhetoric).  

Had the dead man stayed dead. 

With that established we step back to 5 years before the Clone wars were due to break out, Ord Mantel, where Cody and Obi Wan find themselves appearing, young bodies, old minds, and a small amount of the local currency (not enough to destabilize the economy, but enough to start gambling with). They quickly, and quietly, win enough money to buy a small cruiser (taking care to keep their individual ins small enough not to catch the attention of anyone), just big enough for the two of them. 

Then they make their way to Kamino.

They very deliberately decide not to go to the Jedi just yet. There are a number of reasons.  Some are trauma based (the last time Obi Wan was Coruscant he was walking through the ruins of the temple and finding the bodies of children; the last time Cody was on Coruscant he was deserting the empire after Desix). Some are for practicality(Coruscant is Palapatines domain already; They do not realize that their alternate selves are dead here and do not want to run into Knight Obi Wan).  But the main reason comes from the fact that Order 66 caused two genocides, Jedi and Clone. They both reasoned that, while focusing on preventing the Jedi genocide (Going to the Jedi, killing Palpatine) would not necessarily prevent the Clones from being abused, used, and trapped by the chips, Freeing the Clones would, by the very nature of what happened, prevent the Jedi from being killed. 

So they go to Kamino. Talk their way into Tipoca City and to speak with Jango Fett.  First they help Jango remove his head from his ass and realize exactly what he did (effectively selling his genetic children into slavery to destroy a culture for revenge he was clinging to in order to keep from facing his culpability in what happened-Not only were the Jedi lied to at Galidraan, Jango shot first; he escalated things and it backfired on him). It took a few days (and included bringing Jango and Boba down to one of the creche rooms holding the clones the same physical age as Boba, putting Boba in clone uniform and asking Jango to try and pick him from the crowd. Jango promptly had a panic attack when he was face to face with 200ish Boba’s and unable to look away from the reality of what he was doing).

SIDE NOTE: Has anyone else noticed the parallel between Jango Fett and Maul. Both were obsessed with getting revenge for situations where they suffered from being in the instigator and losing. Essentially they fucked around, found out, and decided to get revenge, and it cost them everything they had left.  

Once Cody and Obi Wan actually got through to Jango, they told him everything. Being from the future, what Project Knightfall actually did, Cody talking about what it was like under the control of the chips, of never realizing why he betrayed his Jedi general or was willing to hunt down Force users, of waking up after the chip was removed and realizing exactly what he had done, Of the brothers he had lost to suicide, due to the horror of what had happened. They talked about the Empire and what it did to Mandalore. 

The three of them decided what to do next.  

Jango, looking at himself realistically for the first time in a decade, realizes quickly that he should not take the mantle of Mand’alor again. He was too young the first time, but had been growing into the role. Had Galidraan not happened, he likely would have been a good leader, but it did and the years of slavery (with its exposure to Spice) plus the trauma from Galidraan made their mark. Jango would, however, throw his support behind Cody as Mand’alor (Cody made sure it was clear that Jango would also be throwing in his support behind Obi Wan as Cody’s Jedi husband, alternately Cody and Obi Wan would share the Mand’alor title. Jango was fine with that).  

It is also decided, after much debate, that they would also inform the Kaminoans of the fate of their species in the original timeline (destroyed as soon as they could be) and get their cooperation.  There had been consideration for simply taking Kamino, or Tipoca city, but it was decided that it was simply more work than it was worth.  It took two months (during which Obi Wan and Cody functioned as additional trainers for the Cadets) before they were ready to present the truth to Lama Su. Thankfully they had enough working knowledge of things they should not, and were able to get enough proof of what they had to say, that they were able to convince Lama Su that aligning with the Sith would doom the Kaminoans; an if there was one thing the Kaminoan valued more than profit, it was their own survival. 

The Clone project, overall, was at a point where communication between the project and the Sith was infrequent at best (so that attention was not drawn to a seemingly empty patch of space too early), so Tyranus did not have cause to notice that Kamino started ghosting him (It should be noted that they also kept cashing his checks, ostensibly so that he would not notice anything wrong). 

With the Kaminoans on their side now, Cody, Obi Wan, and Jango got to work.  There were a few trainers that did need to be killed outright (Priest and Reau, whom Cody got to kill during one of the cage fights they were arranging-which forever endeared him to the Clone cadets, especially the batch he would have belong to in another life, who were around 10 years old developmentally,  who found themselves drawn to Cody, the trainer that looked so much like Jango Fett that he could have been a clone himself), and a few that asked to be paid so they could leave (and were paid extras so that Obi Wan could remove the details of what as going on from their mind, for safety reasons), but most were willing to follow Cody and Obi Wan as soon as it was clear that Jango has sworn himself to them (non sexually and non romantically, Jango is very AroAce, and very Sex/Romance repulsed). 

The next step is starting to remove the already embedded chips, which went quickly with the help of the Kaminoans, and partially demilitarizing the education of the cadets.  While they would be Mandalorians (as a warrior culture there is a certain level of military in their education) the cadets training would no longer be solely focused on being soldiers and nothing else.  The Kaminoans also keep cloning (Technically the original order was for 1 million clones for the Jedi, they may be taking Tyranus’s money and ghosting him, but they would fulfill their contract-It was decided by the Kaminoan Council that Obi Wan qualified as ‘Jedi’ for the purposes of the contract, so giving him the clones is really fulfilling their written contract)

Cody and Obi Wan, with the council from the remaining trainers and Jango, decided that they would spend the years between their arrival and one year before the Clone Wars was due to start on Kamino, still largely out of contact with the wider galaxy. In that time they develop their own culture (their own version of ‘how to be mandalorian’ built in part from the remaining True Mandalorians, the clone culture Cody brought from the previous timeline mixing with the ever evolving clone culture of the current timeline-which quickly became different from how Cody remembered it, Part of the Jedi traditions that Obi Wan brought with him from the previous timeline-some of which he may or may not remember correctly due to trauma and the length of time he spent repressing those memories). They also worked over talking points on how to unite their faction with the New Mandalorians, including going over what traditions/parts of their culture they would be willing to relinquish as a compromise and what parts they absolutely will not.  On Jango’s occasional trips out into the wider galaxy, to take jobs, he makes a point to get as close to Keldabe as he can to get a feel for the New Mandalorian as a faction (Obi Wan has inside knowledge, but it may be early or outdated is all kinda colored with ‘Satine died in my arms and it was my fault’). There was also a concerted effort to discreetly acquire enough ships for everyone. 

So we are one year before the Clone Wars were due to erupt. Palpatine is on Coruscant waiting for the perfect opportunity to enact his plan, believing that he had a handy clone army at the ready for the war he has been fanning. Tyranus, who has still not realized he has not spoken to Kamino in about 4 years, is quietly building his forces with the droid armies about 4 months from being completed. 

The Newer True Mandalorians (The name suggestion was from Rex’s-He still picked the same name and was adopted by Codywan along with Fox and Ponds, batch; the name is being workshopped) leave Kamino for Concord Dawn. They take with them a treaty between them and the Kaminoans that includes mutual protection, a live and let live clause, a few NDA’s about the Kamnoan’s gene manipulation process,  and a decent trade agreement where the Kaminoans provide genetic research and the clones provide free advertising for the success of the Kaminoans cloning process. 

Basically out of nowhere, as far as the galaxy is concerned, the True Mandalorians reemerge after being all but wiped out almost 20 years prior, and in far greater numbers than they had before. Numbers that sharply spike, as outcasts from the New Mandalorians and Death Watch, plus other remnants of the True Mandalorians flock to their banner. These are great enough numbers that when they reach out to discuss a treaty, and a possible merger for factions, with the New Mandalorians, the New Mandalorians actually take it seriously.   

This faction, the entire galaxy is surprised to learn, is being led by someone who looks an awful lot like Jango Fett, but is clearly not since Jango Fett is standing next to him (by this point Cody and Jango call ach brother, further confusing the issue) and a red haired man going by the name of Obi Wan Kenobi, who clearly is, or was, a Jedi. 

Tyranus and Sidious, realizing that Jango Fett showing up anywhere with a massive amount of being might be contrary to their plans, try to contact Kamino. Kamino doesn’t answer and their ‘we’re busy, don’t call us we’ll call you’ message included a virus that made it so they cannot find or contact Kamino again.

The heads of the New Mandalorian Government arrange to meet with the heads of the Newer True Mandalorians, including Cody and Obi Wan. Satine recognizes Obi Wan. It is at this point that they find out this timeline’s Obi Wan has been dead for almost a decade. They had known that this timeline’s Cody was never born, but had never thought to check on Obi Wan. 

The negotiations between the New Mandalorans and the Newer True Mandalorians lasts months, but eventually is hammered out between them, along with a new government structure. Cody and Obi Wan would jointly preside over a council made up equally of New Mandalorians and Newer True Mandalorian (and, should Death Watch want to actually come in from the cold, Death Watch representative, but the faction would have to swear to the agreed upon laws and to follow the joint Mand’alor’s- Satine insisted). While Obi Wan and Cody would have the final say in most cases, if at least 90% of the council agreed they were wrong there was a veto power that could be used. Membership on the council is decided by the faction in question, and if a new faction splits off and gets to a certain size (Generally enough people to populate a medium sized planet) that faction will also be able to put representatives on the council. 

Meanwhile in the Republic the reappearance of the True Mandalorians (it doesn’t matter that they have a new name as far the Republic is concerned) has derailed 90% of Palpatine's plans (he does not have time to grow another army, even if he could get in contact with Kamino again and he cannot start the war without an army).  The news that the Red Headed leader of the reemerged faction appeared to be Presumed Dead Obi Wan Kenobi, famed in song and story and all but sainted in Anakin Skywalker's head, derailed 90% of the rest. 

Padawan Anakin Skywalker, upon hearing that Obi Wan Kenobi might be alive, vanished from Coruscant. Just took off for Concord Dawn to potentially rescue his hero, or avenge him if it was someone else pretending to be him. Or something like that, Anakin was not thinking at all beyond that he needed to see Obi Wan, the man he knew for maybe a week when he was nine.  He also left prematurely, had he waited six more hours he and his master Qui Gon Jinn would have been assigned to investigate the identity of the presumed Obi Wan. 

Qui Gon did not know where Anakin was headed until he reached Concord Dawn (Anakin left a note that he was going radio silent to work on some course work he was behind in, so Qui Gon left him off the mission-This Qui Gon is just a little oblivious)  and was promptly led to a holding cell by some of the Mandos (I kind of want it to be Waxer and Boil, or one of the Alpha’s) who gestured at Anakin inside, glowering like a bristly wet cat, going ‘is this yours?’

I Imagine this ‘reunion’  is weird and awkward from every angle. Like this Obi Wan remembers holding Qui Gon as he died, raising Anakin, Anakin’s Fall, everything of the original timeline. But this Qui Gon held his Padawan as he died (which hold the residual guilt of surviving, plus the guilt of Obi Wan dying to save his life), has added the normal rosy shine to his memories of his padawan (gloss over the bad times to focus on the good times). This Anakin has few actual memories of Obi Wan, but a massive case of hero worship. possibly to the point of Obi Wan being akin to a deity to Anakin, so massively unhealthy(Which Qui Gon also realizes for the first time)  but in a way that is difficult to break. Palaptine inadvertently created the Cult of Obi Wan, with one cult member and brainwashed him so well that he fucked up his own plans.  Now that there is a living Obi Wan, it is everyone's problem. Cody is prickly with both of them, because he remembers the things Obi Wan, his husband, told him about his Padawanship AND remembers both Reckless General Skywalker and Darth Vader. 

I am not sure how much they actually tell the Jedi, but they definitely tell them that Obi Wan and Coy are from a different timeline, and no they can’t go back. Just so that they do not start thinking that Padawan Obi Wan somehow faked his death (they are just a little concerned how Anakin would react).

Eventually Cody gets to kill Palpatine, as a treat.

[deepvelvet]

Composite moon through houses p2

MASTERLIST

PART 1

6th: This is a more difficult placement for the moon in composite, since it comes a lot of times with bickering and critisism of each other, keeping score, looking at the little things. So it tends to be more judgement of each other and feeling we are in service of each other, in some fashion. Its not the most romantic place to have composite moon but the two people can focus on tasks very well if we have the moon well aspected. Their ideas of improvement are not quite similar, when it has hard aspects to it. So the emotional energy this two people create it's based on how they will do improvement out of their individual lives, their couple dynamic and their response to the envoiroment. We can feel less accepted.

"Sometimes i don't understand your way of feeling things, but we can think through how to focus on getting common ground."

7th: Both people can feel deeply emotionally compatible. They feel assured by the other person. One of the most beneficial places to have composite moon because this two people relate with each other in a relationship context. They are looking for the same kind of environment within the relationship itself. It's easy to relate, to bond, to have support, to feel that the other person is looking for the same things in a context of a relationship.

"The echo moon - one of them send out a vibe and the other receives and send the same kind of vibe back"

8th: It's a very complex placement for the composite moon. So in that case, you will want to look at both natal moon as see how they are aspected and how their personal 8th house or plutonic/scorpionic difficulties exist there. The combination of the lunar dispositions of what's familiar to us, ups and downs, what's hidden from view, compulsions. So the two people are very driven by their combined compulsions. It can be a very obsessive placement. We can deal with a lot of fears, attachments, insecurities, pulling each other's strings, triggering each other. If they dealed with their own pluto stuff, their own eight house stuff, we have two people that have really evolved beyond being driven by their dark forces it can provide the climate for healing and transformation. For other people, is going to be obsessions, fear, crisis and challenges.

"It's hard sometimes, but we can heal together."

9th: There is agreement about their life views, philosophies, morality. Sharing of abstract ideas, there's quite a lot of conversation in this placement. Even if they have different backgrounds and moral views with this placement they will find a way to agree on each other's perceptions, or to have some kind of shared ideal, common ground. It's not a position that provides a lot of intellectual growth for the two people because we do tend to have agreement that's already built in. So there isn't a curiosity outside of what's going on between them. So they can enforce each other's beliefs, provide more of a concreteness to each other's philosophies or ideas.

" I believe in what you believe."

10th: The two people see the other person can provide what they need to build, in the outside world, safety and security. The moon is naturally opposite to the 10th house on the wheel. The other side of the same coin, moon and Saturn. So while the moon is our basic need for security and safety, the 10th is where those things happen. Where we go and do the things that the 4th needs. So in this placement we have two people joining their most subjective personal states and feelings in a context of getting ahead, public image, status, what's external to us. They can be prone to identify outside external circumstances as the problems, difficulties and the supportive things that are working within the relationship. Its not a really personal place for the composite moon to be. They relate emotionally in their thoughts about where they want to go, how they want things to go to achieve their goals in order to meet the moon needs.

"What we can become together? Where are we going? How our combined lifestyle can provide or be the vehicle for what we want to achieve?"

11th: Very fun and friendly relationship. The two people relate to each other as friends, they're Very accepting of the other person's weirdness. We get to be who we are. We invite the other person's unfettered natural expression. We get to fart in front of each other, eat too much in front of each other. We get to do whatever just happens and the other person Very much enjoys it. So, the spontaneity is similar. Very few expectations and demands made on each other. A great deal of forgiveness and tolerance. A free-flowing, exciting place. Cut down on resentments, score keeping

"I accept whatever it comes with you."

12th: As well as 8th, it adds some complexity to the relationship. Often that's something very obscured about each other. We aren't completely aware of what the other person's deep needs are, how are we combining, what exactly is going on. Revelations tend to come though being stimulated to act irrationally. We'll have something that will come up that we will discover about ourselves. The two people learn about what they don't know they don't know about themselves as a result of How the other person triggers them or feels along beside them. Combined sansitivities, fears, mysteries, some of our dark side that they are combining and triggering in each other.

"You made me see parts of me i didn't knew i have"

[martialartslover7]

Headcanon time: I feel like, the Blank Period after Shippuden was kind of a missed opportunity, in my eyes. Look, I get that everything needed to wrap up, but... seriously? We don't even get an emotional, on-screen scenario where Naruto finally becomes Hokage? Maybe after months of him forcing himself to suffer through these accursed Chunin exams (because bureaucracy fucking sucks, but, it is what it is), getting promoted to Jonin, before he can even HOPE to apply as Hokage?

(Image belongs to Ammitastic on DeviantArt)

Another thing, in the Blank Period, I don't care what anyone else tells me, Neji Hyuga, the GOAT, deserved to live, he did not deserve to die so disgracefully in the war, being turned into a wooden pimp cushion. Hence, I will not ever canonically acknowledge his passing.

You know what passing I WILL accept though, in my mind? Hiashi Hyuga. That piece of work actually deserved to go out like that, after everything he did to Hinata, her cousin and her sister (this is a can of worms I will open up another time). And because of his death, the Hyuga clan is left without a leader during the Blank Period. It would have given Hinata something to do, to actually participate in the process, along with Neji, on how they will be resolving this problem with the leadership question, mending the bridges with Hanabi too, outside of just being immediately reduced to a birthing machine. And don't get me wrong, I don't mind Naruto and Hinata getting busy (*wink*), they deserve it, but, the way it was shown off in the anime, came in such a jarring and abrupt way, I thought they would actually give it some time first, because, being an adult, is coming with a lot of unique difficulties, that need to be discussed first. I would have enjoyed some of that "being adults suck" point being discussed from Naruto's and Hinata's POV.

Like, before even having Boruto and Himawari, they could have just settled on enjoying life together for a few years, before the true stress with their jobs and children begin. They are not their families, they should be smarter about this.

Plus, this point is more of a stretch on my end, but, the anime talked about the "Madara Crisis" of sorts, where loyal, mentally ill followers of Madara demanded for the Infinite Tsukuyomi to return, which translated to me, only means: A Madara Crisis story. Like, it's not just nameless NPCs that are affected by this, but also specific shinobi that Naruto & Friends met, in the course of their lives. The Dead Rising geek leaves my body here. For real, imagine, some shinobi, like for instance, Kakashi (in my AU, Guy died fighting Madara, I really don't care what people try to tell me, him getting saved at the last minute just cheapened everything about his violent assault on Madara, sorry, I love Guy too, but if he died, he would have truly become a legend, think of it that way, it's sad, but a far more fitting end to his character), Hanabi, Shino, Tsunade, etc. being hit the worst by this Madara influence, where they would also join these followers, just wanting the emotional scars to close up, as some wounds just never heal, no matter how much time passes, and the 4th Shinobi war also contributed to their problems and emotional states. And they, in the context of a Dead Rising scenario, become Psychopath boss fights, except that, unlike there, you don't kill them. This saga would have given so many side characters a chance to take the lead for a change, and show off, how much progress they had made, coming over from the 4th war, to the Blank Period. I will just leave this here.

That's all for now.

[kleopatra45]

Asteroid Pallas (2)

Asteroid Pallas (2) in astrology symbolizes strategic intelligence, problem-solving skills, and wisdom. Its placement in a birth chart indicates how one approaches challenges with foresight and analytical thinking. Pallas represents the ability to devise effective plans, negotiate, and find creative solutions. Understanding Pallas' position provides insights into one's strategic strengths, decision-making style, and leadership potential in various areas of life.

Pallas in the Houses

Pallas in the 1st House: This placement suggests that strategic thinking and problem-solving are integral to your identity and self-expression. You may approach life with a sense of strategy and foresight, and others may see you as someone who is wise and insightful. Pallas in the 2nd House: Values, resources, and personal possessions are important themes in your strategic approach. You may apply your intelligence and problem-solving skills to financial matters or to enhance your sense of security and stability. Pallas in the 3rd House: Communication, learning, and intellectual pursuits are emphasized in your strategic thinking. You may excel in fields that require logical analysis and clear communication. Siblings and neighbors may play a role in your strategic plans. Pallas in the 4th House: Family, home, and emotional security are central to your strategic approach. You may apply your intelligence to create a harmonious home environment or to resolve family conflicts. Real estate and property matters may interest you strategically. Pallas in the 5th House: Creativity, self-expression, and children (if applicable) are emphasized in your strategic endeavors. You may approach creative projects or hobbies with a sense of planning and purpose. Romantic relationships may involve strategic thinking and problem-solving. Pallas in the 6th House: Service, routines, and health are integral to your strategic approach. You may excel in organizing and optimizing daily tasks or in fields related to health and well-being. Your work environment may benefit from your strategic insights. Pallas in the 7th House: Partnerships, relationships, and collaborations are key areas of strategic focus for you. You may excel in negotiating and finding solutions that benefit both parties. Legal matters and contracts may interest you strategically. Pallas in the 8th House: Intimacy, shared resources, and transformation play significant roles in your strategic thinking. You may apply your intelligence to delve into deep psychological insights or to manage shared financial matters effectively. Crisis management may be an area of strength. Pallas in the 9th House: Philosophy, beliefs, and higher learning influence your strategic approach. You may excel in fields related to teaching, law, or philosophy, where strategic thinking and broad perspectives are valued. Travel and cultural exchanges may interest you strategically. Pallas in the 10th House: Career, public image, and achievements are important in how you express strategic qualities. You may apply your intelligence to leadership roles, long-term goals, or projects that enhance your professional reputation. Strategic planning may drive your career success. Pallas in the 11th House: Friendships, groups, and social causes are emphasized in your strategic endeavors. You may excel in organizing collective efforts, advocating for social justice, or leading community initiatives. Networking may be a strategic strength. Pallas in the 12th House: Spirituality, hidden strengths, and unconscious patterns influence your strategic thinking. You may apply your intelligence to explore metaphysical realms, psychoanalysis, or charitable endeavors behind the scenes. Healing and spiritual growth may be strategic goals.

Pallas in the Signs

Aries: Pallas in Aries strategizes with courage, initiative, and independence. You approach challenges with a direct and assertive style, often pioneering new paths and solutions. Taurus: Pallas in Taurus strategizes with patience, persistence, and practicality. You excel in planning for long-term stability and security, applying a methodical approach to achieve tangible results. Gemini: Pallas in Gemini strategizes with versatility, curiosity, and adaptability. You thrive on gathering information, brainstorming ideas, and finding innovative solutions through communication and networking. Cancer: Pallas in Cancer strategizes with empathy, intuition, and nurturing care. You excel in understanding emotional dynamics, nurturing relationships, and creating secure foundations for growth. Leo: Pallas in Leo strategizes with creativity, confidence, and leadership. You approach challenges with a bold and charismatic style, focusing on inspiring others and achieving recognition. Virgo: Pallas in Virgo strategizes with precision, analysis, and practical problem-solving. You excel in detail-oriented planning, organization, and implementing efficient strategies for improvement. Libra: Pallas in Libra strategizes with diplomacy, balance, and fairness. You excel in negotiating agreements, promoting harmony, and finding win-win solutions in partnerships and collaborations. Scorpio: Pallas in Scorpio strategizes with depth, insight, and transformative power. You approach challenges with strategic intensity, delving into hidden truths and leveraging psychological insights. Sagittarius: Pallas in Sagittarius strategizes with optimism, exploration, and philosophical insight. You excel in strategic planning that broadens horizons, promotes growth, and aligns with ethical principles. Capricorn: Pallas in Capricorn strategizes with ambition, discipline, and long-term vision. You excel in strategic planning that emphasizes responsibility, achievement, and building enduring structures. Aquarius: Pallas in Aquarius strategizes with innovation, humanitarianism, and progressive thinking. You excel in strategic planning that fosters social change, embraces diversity, and promotes collective goals. Pisces: Pallas in Pisces strategizes with compassion, imagination, and spiritual insight. You approach challenges with a strategic focus on healing, creativity, and transcending boundaries.

Pallas in Aspects

Conjunctions: A conjunction of Pallas with another planet intensifies the influence of that planet on your strategic thinking and problem-solving abilities. For example, Pallas conjunct Mercury emphasizes strategic thinking in communication and decision-making, while Pallas conjunct Mars highlights strategic actions and assertiveness. Sextiles and Trines: These harmonious aspects indicate ease and support in integrating the energies of Pallas and the other planet involved. For example, Pallas sextile Venus suggests strategic planning that enhances relationships and creative pursuits, while Pallas trine Jupiter indicates strategic growth and expansion through optimism and opportunity. Squares and Oppositions: These challenging aspects can indicate tension or conflict that needs to be addressed in strategic planning and problem-solving. For example, Pallas square Saturn might indicate challenges in implementing long-term strategies or facing limitations, while Pallas opposition Uranus could highlight a need to balance innovative thinking with practical considerations.

©️kleopatra45

[astrojulia]

Opposition in the Natal Chart: Part 1

~ Inner Planets

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      Sources [10][12][16] ✦Paid Readings

Sun ☍ Moon: This aspect represents a natural conflict between the archetypal masculine and feminine principles. This conflict requires reconciliation and harmony between the two sexes. Initially, there is often conflict and combat between these forces, ranging from dominance to equal battle. When one planet dominates, the other function may be projected onto others. Unresolved conflict leads to confusion and a struggle between conditioning and independence. Sun-Moon opposition individuals struggle to remain objective and tend to assume others share their values. However, resolving this aspect can lead to a strong character, integration, balance, fulfillment, and positive energy release.

Sun ☍ Mars: Sun opposed Mars generates conflict as your desires and actions oppose your self-image, leading to inner and external turmoil. The discrepancy between what you want and how you pursue it creates hesitation and contradiction. Frustration and anger arise from the inability to align your identity with your desires. Insecurity may drive aggressive behavior, resulting in conflicts with others. This opposition indicates an imbalance within your psyche, often with one function dominating and manifesting negatively. To find resolution, it's recommended to develop positive qualities in both areas, nurturing self-esteem, addressing willpower, and directing desires towards healthy goals. Achieving a balanced blend of control and assertiveness allows for strong and authentic actions in the world.

Sun ☍ Jupiter: Sun opposed Jupiter generates conflict as your aspirations for growth, understanding, and grace clash with your self-image. Internal conflicts arise when your desire for abundance and inclusion contradicts your self-imposed limitations, leading to resistance and guilt. You may struggle to comprehend unfamiliar worldviews and resist broad-mindedness, feeling alienated and detached from society. This opposition can manifest as conflicts with institutional authorities and a sense of exclusion from the social order. Limited engagement may result in feelings of unluckiness or existential poverty. Suppressed urges for personal growth may lead to irrational behavior and judgmentalism, while embracing expansion allows for overcoming obstacles and achieving progress. Balancing individualism and societal accommodation becomes part of the growth process.

Sun ☍ Saturn: Sun opposed Saturn signifies conflicting energies in your organization, structure, and discipline that oppose your self-image. This opposition leads to internal and external conflicts as the Sun represents active, positive energy while Saturn symbolizes disciplined, authoritarian power. Balancing these masculine archetypes is crucial for wholeness. Initially, you may feel restricted by authority figures or societal rules, leading to rebellion and resentment. Personal growth involves healing old wounds and realizing that your aversion to discipline hinders progress. Embracing structure and effort harmonizes self-expression and organization, fostering positive integration. Recognizing the positive aspects of opposing forces supports your development.

Sun ☍ Uranus: Sun opposed Uranus creates conflict between your self-image and the modalities of change and individuation. This opposition manifests internally and externally, highlighting the polarization between the personal and the abstract aspects of identity. Uranus represents transformation and growth through the integration of the personal and higher self, while the Sun symbolizes the personal self. Revelations that shatter self-defined barriers can trigger an existential crisis or propel you towards self-redefinition. Subconsciously, your personal self seeks protection from intrusive revelations, often viewing change as threatening. Resistance, avoidance, or projection may be used to manage confrontation with change. To foster personal growth, balancing the personal and abstract is essential, embracing change and integrating a higher self-concept.

Sun ☍ Neptune: Sun opposed Neptune creates conflict between your self-image and the modalities of transcendence and self-sacrifice. This opposition leads to internal and external tension, as you feel both drawn to and repelled by the transcendent and non-material aspects of life. You may be attracted to activities or beliefs that go beyond the self, but this conflicts with your self-identity. The rejection of Neptune's influence can result in a low tolerance for ambiguity and a dismissal of intuition, faith, and spirituality. By suppressing the subconscious and rejecting the uncertain, you inadvertently become fixated on them negatively. Finding balance involves recognizing the true meaning of self-surrender and developing a conscious self-identity while acknowledging the importance of the personal self.

Sun ☍ Pluto: Sun opposed Pluto represents a polarizing conflict that brings crises and duality. It urges you to transform your self-identity by purging negative and destructive aspects of yourself. There is a temptation to see negativity as external and engage in conflict, perceiving yourself as "good" and the opposing force as "evil." However, true transformation requires recognizing the shadow within your own unconscious and purging its negative tendencies. This opposition leads to a struggle in uncovering your true self and raising consciousness to a higher level. Internal and external conflicts may arise, revolving around power, sexuality, truth, or spirituality, which can be resolved by confronting the shadow side positively.

Sun ☍ Part of Fortune: The opposition between the Sun and the Part of Fortune is traditionally seen as unfortunate, as it contradicts your expectations of good fortune based on your self-image. This creates conflicts within and around you, as you feel both drawn to and repelled by the areas of life associated with your Part of Fortune's house. You may struggle to balance being true to yourself and pursuing beneficial opportunities, feeling torn between happiness and authenticity. Externalized conflict can lead to perceived bad luck, while a consistent belief in being unlucky may bring pessimism or depression. Expanding your perspective and acknowledging existing good fortune can bring balance and genuine well-being.

Sun ☍ Ascendant: The aspect between the Sun and the Descendant emphasizes the Sun's qualities in the Seventh House, indicating a strong connection between your self-identity and relationships. This placement signifies duality and opposition, as your focus shifts towards others. Projecting your personality may not be strong, except in one-on-one relationships. The opposition to the Ascendant highlights the challenge of balancing your self-identity and projecting it through your persona. There is a tendency to derive self-worth from others, hindering a clear understanding of your own identity. Developing a strong sense of self is crucial for genuine and meaningful relationships. Relationships, especially primary ones, hold great significance, and finding balance and harmony between your needs and others' demands is important.

Sun ☍ Imum Coeli: With the Sun opposed to the Imum Coeli (IC), you may display an excessive ego, seeking to dominate your household and be the center of attention. This can lead to conflicts with siblings and parents, particularly your father. Your belief in holding power within the family can create struggles and tensions. While you may take on parental roles, it may hinder finding a loving partner and establishing a marriage. Relying too heavily on your family inhibits personal growth and hinders the development of your own identity. Communication is vital, as there may be a sense of disconnection and contradiction within the family. Recognizing the lessons in family dynamics is important for your growth.

Sun ☍ Descendant: With the Sun opposed to the Descendant, you have a strong desire to be seen as attractive and a peacemaker. However, your inclination to take the opposite side can lead to unnecessary arguments and conflicts. This stems from your desire for fairness and presenting opposing viewpoints. You tend to attract similar individuals, often of the same sex, creating a sense of competition. There may be moments of finding others' approaches dull, leading to defensive reactions. There is a physical attraction in love relationships, but nitpicking and mismatched activity cycles can cause irritation and ego clashes. Developing better communication and understanding is key to maintaining harmonious partnerships.

Sun ☍ Midheaven: When the Sun is opposed to the Midheaven, your sense of identity is closely tied to matters of privacy and domesticity rather than career and public achievements. Assuming public roles may cause discomfort, as you prioritize the needs of your inner self for psychic wholeness. However, finding a balance requires attention to societal contributions and taking on more responsibilities. If planets are strongly positioned in the tenth house, conflicts between your public and private life are likely. Balancing domestic and career responsibilities and reconciling family life with career aspirations become important challenges. Navigating these differences harmoniously and integrating both aspects is key to personal growth.

Sun ☍ Chiron: When the Sun is opposed to Chiron, you have a deep understanding of your place in life and possess strong convictions aligned with your conscience. Despite facing psychological challenges like mental illnesses, you exhibit wisdom and fairness. Others may fail to recognize your struggles, leading to a sense of invisibility and directionlessness. A childhood wound, possibly related to your father, can hinder your self-confidence but grants you profound understanding and empathy. You can become a healer or advisor, driven by a sense of fighting for victory and a desire to contribute to the betterment of humanity. Your unwavering principles guide your journey.

Sun ☍ Vesta: When the Sun is opposed to Vesta, finding a balance between personal well-being and daily responsibilities becomes crucial. Prioritizing self-care through rituals like yoga, meditation, and exercise is essential. Lack of focus can be resolved by developing stronger concentration skills, as it aligns with your identity and purpose. Conflicts may arise between work focus and life purpose, making it challenging to find a fulfilling career. Issues with sexuality, intimacy, commitment, and confusion about life direction can lead to anxiety and stress. Resolving these challenges involves developing purposeful focus, integrating personal energies, and reconciling devotion to ideals with the desire for recognition.

Sun ☍ Pallas: When the Sun is opposed to Pallas, transforming sexual-creative energy into artistic and intellectual achievements becomes central to your life's purpose. However, there may be a fear of embracing your power, resulting in mental and creative blocks. Difficulties in your relationship with your father and confusion surrounding your sexual identity can arise. Resolving these conflicts involves harmoniously integrating your creative ideas with your life purpose. Your desire to contribute to society through ingenuity and wisdom drives you, and you possess strength of character, intelligence, and courage. Known for your original ideas and brilliant mind, you excel in your chosen field of expression through clear communication and strategic planning.

Sun ☍ Juno: When the Sun is opposed to Juno, you often experience inner conflicts regarding success and intimate relationships. Finding a partner who enhances your sense of self is ideal, but it can also manifest as a relationship that holds you back from the conquest and success you desire. Focusing on what you haven't achieved in your love life may lead to periods of depression and feelings of sadness or confusion. You may question why certain milestones haven't been reached, possibly due to being out of touch with your true desires or having fears surrounding serious commitment.

Sun ☍ Ceres: When the Sun is opposed to Ceres, the goals of beauty, peace, and love hold great value. However, feelings of disappointment and loss may hinder your ability to fully express love and compassion. Connecting with nature can provide solace and help restore your sense of compassion. Women may play a significant role in teaching you valuable lessons, even if some experiences are initially unwelcome. This aspect suggests a tendency to nurture others while neglecting self-care or expecting constant nurturing from others. Challenges may include a low self-image, unmet nutritional needs, and themes of depression and rejection. Resolving these challenges involves developing self-worth and seeking support in a loving and non-judgmental way, potentially through counseling or therapy.

Sun ☍ Vertex: When the Sun is opposed to Vertex, you believe that by prioritizing your own needs, you can achieve the success or happiness you deserve. This mindset gives you a sense of importance and confidence in yourself.

Sun ☍ Lilith: When the Sun is opposed to Lilith, there is often a rejection of asserting one's will and a denial of one's own consciousness, leading to difficulties in becoming a complete individual. This manifests as a lack of self-confidence, uncertainty about personal desires, and struggles in pursuing them. To compensate for this, one may adopt authoritarian or rigid moral beliefs or seek guidance from higher authorities. However, it is essential to develop self-determination and the courage to make independent decisions. While guidance is needed, it should come from one's own inner will.

Moon ☍ Mercury: When the Moon is opposed to Mercury, there is a significant duality between emotions and intellect, conscious and unconscious mind, and conditioned and rational thinking. This opposition creates a constant conflict within you, as your emotions and intellectual faculties are positioned at opposite ends of a bipolar spectrum. The Moon represents subjective and emotional perception and communication, while Mercury represents objective and rational thinking. This internal battle can lead to confusion and projection of one function onto the other, causing a discrepancy between emotions and rationality. To resolve this conflict, it is important to balance and integrate the needs of both functions, finding ways to meet them through each other. Failure to achieve this balance may result in dysfunction and an imbalance in decision-making. Additionally, this conflict may extend to how your intellect reacts to the conditioning received from your family or culture.

Moon ☍ Venus: When the Moon is opposed to Venus, there is a conflict between your emotional makeup represented by these planets. Your attractions and close relationships differ from what you have been conditioned to accept and what brings you emotional comfort. This creates confusion about your values and guilt regarding enjoyment. Your desires for relationships contradict the need for emotional security and personal comfort. This conflict can lead to difficulties in committing to relationships or fully experiencing them. Control and emotional security issues may arise, causing conflicts between family or mother and your spouse. Balancing these opposing forces requires integrating their positive aspects, considering others' perspectives, and aligning behavior with values. Recognizing the influence of upbringing and appreciating the role of emotions in relationships is essential.

Moon ☍ Mars: The opposition between the Moon and Mars reflects a conflict in your emotional makeup. Your conditioned comfort clashes with your desires and actions, creating tension between your conscious and subconscious. Guilt and doubt may arise as you struggle with the legitimacy of your desires and feel torn between societal expectations and your true nature. This can lead to intense emotional experiences and irrational behavior. Within relationships, there is emotional intensity and potential conflict, but a tendency to seek binding resolutions rather than complete separation. Overcoming artificial gender roles and integrating the active and emotional aspects of your personality is the challenge presented by this aspect.

Moon ☍ Jupiter: The opposition between the Moon and Jupiter reflects a natural contrast between personal concerns and interests that extend beyond the self. The Moon represents boundaries and emotions, while Jupiter symbolizes exploration and expansiveness. Despite their differences, there are commonalities such as intuition and teaching. Tensions may arise from feeling torn between domestic tranquility and a more exciting life, or conflicting beliefs imposed by family and personal exploration. Balancing these functions is key to avoiding polarization. If dominated by the Moon, personal growth may be hindered, while an overemphasis on Jupiter may neglect personal aspects of life. Gaining perspective from both functions is essential for harmony.

Moon ☍ Saturn: The opposition between the Moon and Saturn in your chart represents a conflict between the feminine archetype of nurturing and the paternal archetype of responsibility. You may feel torn between emotional responsiveness and imposing discipline. This inner conflict can be traced back to parental influences and may manifest externally as limitations and emotional obstacles. Negative coping mechanisms include confrontation, suppression, and projection. To resolve this tension positively, strive for balance by exercising emotional discipline and flexibility while recognizing the importance of rules and structure. Achieving harmony between emotional responsiveness and disciplined behavior will lead to meaningful accomplishments with care for others.

Moon ☍ Uranus: The opposition between the Moon and Uranus signifies a conflict between individuality and conformity. You may struggle with the tension between expressing your unique identity and conforming to societal expectations. Individuation offers freedom but can lead to loneliness, while conformity provides comfort but restricts freedom. This conflict affects your self-identity, independence, and relationships with family and society. Resolving this tension requires balancing personal uniqueness with cultural traditions, finding emotional independence, and embracing both personal growth and community connection. Negative coping mechanisms include confrontation, suppression, or projection. By integrating the ordinary and the unique, you can navigate this opposition and achieve personal growth.

Moon ☍ Neptune: The Moon-Neptune opposition represents a conflict between conditioned consciousness and the desire to transcend the personal. It challenges you to reconcile personal emotions with a yearning for spiritual growth. This duality creates emotional and spiritual stress, leading to conflicts between attachments and the need for detachment. Manifesting Neptune's energies positively is challenging, often resulting in emotional confusion and resistance to transcendence. The opposition may also indicate complex relationships with family, especially the mother. Balancing these functions requires perceiving the personal and universal as complementary, functioning competently on a personal level while reaching for higher expression. Cultivating sensitivity and idealism contributes to personal fulfillment.

Moon ☍ Pluto: The Moon-Pluto opposition signifies deep conflicts within the subconscious, causing emotional and psychological tensions. Your conditioned self seeks stability, while powerful subconscious forces push for transformation and higher awareness. This can manifest as power struggles, control issues, and conflicts in family and intimate relationships. Confrontations with authority figures may lead to emotional oppression and dependence. Dysfunctional behavior and emotional complexes can arise, calling for transformation through working with the subconscious. Balancing emotions and the subconscious is essential, cultivating awareness, control, and empowerment. It's important to acknowledge boundaries while nurturing power and sexuality, and integrating emotions surrounding mortality.

Moon ☍ Part of Fortune: The Moon-Part of Fortune opposition brings emotional and subconscious conflicts regarding factors that could bring you good fortune. External conflicts may arise within your family, where they may oppose or misunderstand your pursuit of fortune. Past attachments and cultural traditions can also hold you back from pursuing your dreams. The Moon's placement indicates your comfort zone, while the Part of Fortune symbolizes areas of discomfort. You may feel uneasy about receiving good fortune and subconsciously sabotage opportunities. Finding balance between your domestic responsibilities and pursuit of fortune is crucial. Ultimately, you may discover that your true fortune lies within your family and home.

Moon ☍ Ascendant: The Moon opposed Rising aspect reflects your strong desire to support and be of use to your loved ones. You crave deep emotional connections and find it challenging to be alone. Marriage or partnership is something you long for, although it may feel elusive at times. Focusing on fulfilling your own emotional needs can attract the close bond you seek. You engage personally with people in your life and desire to be fully engaged with them. You unconsciously seek others' dependency to maintain emotional security. While you have a wide circle of friends, forming committed individual relationships is difficult due to uncertainty. Interacting with many people who appreciate your favors is preferred to avoid this uncertainty.

Moon ☍ Imum Coeli: The Moon opposed Imum Coeli aspect highlights your need for protection and security in your home environment. Feeling safe and having a comfortable haven is essential for your well-being. Your family depends on you as a reliable presence in their lives. Childhood experiences and past fears continue to influence you, leading to a tendency to hide emotions and feel vulnerable or victimized by family members. It's important to address and overcome these fears to avoid their impact on your own family dynamics later in life. Privacy is crucial in family relationships, as it allows you space to express emotions and find solace. Returning home serves as an outlet to cleanse your thoughts and organize emotions.

Moon ☍ Descendant: The Moon opposed descendant aspect reveals that you invest a great deal of sympathy and emotional energy into your partnerships, but it's important to exercise caution. Your emotions can lead to conflicts within yourself and in your relationships, particularly with women. Throughout your life, you may face difficulties and challenges in your relationships, such as jealousy, envy, and misunderstandings. Instability in your love life makes you vulnerable and prone to arguments and conflicts with your partner. Finding a supportive and understanding partner can be challenging due to your emotional volatility and tendency to sacrifice your own needs. It's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and choose a partner who values your partnership and marriage over material gain.

Moon ☍ Midheaven: The Moon opposed Midheaven aspect creates a tension between your personal emotions and your public or professional life. You may struggle to balance your emotional needs with the demands of your public image. You may find it challenging to integrate your emotions with your public persona, resulting in visible tension between your personal and professional lives. This can manifest as a conflict between your family/personal life and career aspirations or challenges in expressing emotions in a professional setting. To navigate this aspect, you should seek ways to integrate your emotions into your public life, establish boundaries, and develop self-awareness. Ultimately, it offers you an opportunity for authentic and fulfilling expression in your personal and professional domains.

Moon ☍ Chiron: You may experience bouts of pessimism and discontent without reason, relying heavily on relatives for communication. Depression, financial issues, and a lack of spiritual harmony may arise, making it challenging to find a comfortable place to live. There may be a reluctance to maintain relationships with relatives or have children. The pain originating from your relationship with your mother attracts partners and situations that reflect this turmoil. The lesson is to confront the pain, balance your needs with others', and become a compassionate healer. Find ways to balance emotional reactions, as excessive emotions can cause problems. Developing adaptability and approaching emotions cautiously is crucial.

Moon ☍ Vesta: Struggling to balance practical and emotional needs? Seek equilibrium by incorporating emotionally nourishing activities like rituals, yoga, and meditation. The principle of focus and emotional responsibility suggests self-involvement and integration. Avoid using work to avoid emotions or getting overwhelmed by emotions. These aspects may cause a disconnection from emotional needs, fear of intimacy, and challenges in forming strong family bonds. Resolving these challenges involves freeing yourself from societal norms and exploring therapy for authentic self-expression. Addressing blocked energies can lead to emotional and sexual liberation.

Moon ☍ Pallas: The combination of intellect and emotion can lead to a clear understanding of feelings. However, there may be conflicts between problem-solving abilities and emotional needs, causing a struggle to balance personal and societal expectations. These conflicts can stem from a sense of detachment from the mother and feminine identity, resulting in dependency and powerlessness. Resolving these conflicts involves recognizing the intelligence of the feminine, integrating logic with intuition and warmth with emotion. Trying to please the mother while meeting father's expectations may compromise emotional integrity. Independence may hinder emotional satisfaction, despite a deep desire for support.

Moon ☍ Juno: The need for domestic warmth and affection is important, but self-nurturing is equally crucial. Be mindful of overindulgence to avoid emotional and physical problems. Assess if your loved ones reciprocate your nurturing efforts and understand your need for support. Balance between emotional needs and partnerships may be challenging. Attracting an emotional partner or exhibiting similar traits can arise. Balancing societal expectations and emotional fulfillment is vital for happiness. Choices may arise between seeking approval and prioritizing emotional well-being. Find harmony in nurturing yourself and others for overall well-being.

Moon ☍ Ceres: Navigating relationships with women can be challenging, leading to a sense of misunderstanding. To improve understanding, integrate and accept your own emotions while embracing feminine aspects. Despite a charming exterior, you possess a protective and determined nature. Balancing personal and family needs may pose conflicts, including separation anxieties and fears of rejection. Seeking mutually supportive emotional connections helps heal the denial of your own emotional fulfillment. Be cautious not to unintentionally complicate others' lives with overwhelming love and control. Finding a balance in expressing love and support is crucial.

Moon ☍ Vertex: It is important to maintain a balance between your own emotional needs and the needs of others. Having a strong understanding of your own identity as an individual will aid in achieving this balance. Others may rely on your emotional assistance and support. Engaging in public life or pursuing a role in local governance could provide you with significant satisfaction.

Moon ☍ Lilith: For men, the Moon opposed Lilith aspect makes it difficult to integrate emotions and values, leading to misunderstandings and difficulties in relationships with women. Women with this aspect struggle with their own femininity, questioning traditional roles and resisting societal expectations. Both genders face challenges in understanding and embracing the world of women, which can create tensions and obstacles in their lives.

Mercury ☍ Mars: The opposition between Mercury and Mars represents conflicting functions within your psyche. It connects mental activity and communication with desire and action. This can lead to conflict, confusion, and unexpected outcomes as your thoughts unconsciously translate into desires and actions. Initially, you may perceive mental activity as separate from your emotions and physical activity, creating a dichotomy. Indecision and tension arise as your thoughts differ from your actions. The conflict may be externalized, and there can be challenges with male figures. Coping mechanisms like confrontation or suppression may develop, but true resolution requires recognizing the unity and achieving balance between these functions.

Mercury ☍ Jupiter: When Mercury is opposed by Jupiter, the opposition between these two planets intensifies within your personality. This creates tensions between focusing on details and conceptualization, individuality and societal obligations. You may polarize your world along various continua, leading to conflicts and a sense of having to choose between different approaches. This can result in excessive nervousness, over-talkativeness, or a struggle to balance micro and macro aspects of life. Guilt, insecurity, and defense mechanisms may also arise. To find balance, it's important to explore and integrate the qualities of both polarities, fostering harmony and reducing tensions.

Mercury ☍ Saturn : When Mercury is opposed to Saturn, the conflicting qualities represented by these planets are accentuated. This leads to a conflict between intellect and authority. Internally, you may struggle between your genuine thoughts and societal expectations. This conflict can generate tension and hinder intellectual progress. Externally, disagreements and confrontations with authority figures, particularly your father, may occur. The fear of being controlled can lead to rebellion, but it keeps you within the framework of authority. To find balance, you must integrate your nimble and authoritarian sides, embracing both flexibility and structure. This allows for enhanced intellectual and communication abilities, as well as a more open-minded approach to rules and conventions.

Mercury ☍ Uranus: When Mercury opposes Uranus, it represents the polarization between the personal and higher mind. If attuned to the Higher Mind, there can be harmony and mutual support between the two. The personal mind serves as a vehicle for introducing spiritually-oriented ideas into practical activities. However, if this harmony is not achieved, conflicts arise. You may feel torn between abstract and practical aspects, leading to mental frustrations and restlessness. Guilt and inner tensions may emerge when exploring unconventional ideas or when focusing on mundane responsibilities. Defense mechanisms may develop, but addressing these tensions involves integrating vision and change with rationality and commonality.

Mercury ☍ Neptune: When Mercury opposes Neptune, the inherent opposition between the concrete and vague aspects of the psyche is amplified. Choosing between specificity and spirituality becomes a constant challenge. Prioritizing the practical may lead to a loss of connection to the universal, while focusing on the spiritual may neglect attention to detail. Dealing with chaos and irrationality can be overwhelming, causing a sense of missing something important. To find wholeness, one must develop Neptune's qualities of fluidity and intuition while grounding sensitivity and spirituality in practicality. Letting go of the need for complete understanding and embracing the unknown is necessary for balance.

Mercury ☍ Pluto: The opposition between Mercury and Pluto reveals a conflict between the conscious and subconscious aspects of your psyche. You may try to distance yourself from transformative crises and the need for change, but they inevitably intrude upon your mental peace. There is a fascination with the Plutonian dimension, involving secrets, death, and the subconscious, yet it causes inner conflict. Achieving wholeness requires integrating these opposing forces and transforming your mental function. Letting go of negative attachments and embracing non-rational perception allows you to explore the depths of your psyche, bringing the subconscious under the control of your conscious mind.

Mercury ☍ Part of Fortune: The opposition between Mercury and the Part of Fortune reveals a mental conflict regarding luck and good fortune. You may struggle to find logic in the path to success or question its wisdom. Skepticism and a critical outlook towards luck may lead you to view it as inauthentic or transitory. Excessive thoughts and worries about good fortune can hinder its manifestation, and you may feel guilty when luck favors you. The conflict arises from a desire to pursue fortune while feeling hindered by intellectual limitations and communication barriers. Expressing positivity about luck can be challenging for you.

Mercury ☍ Ascendant: The opposition between Mercury and the Rising (Ascendant) indicates a constant need for spiritual nourishment and a search for inspiration. Despite harboring uncertainty, you actively engage in communication to showcase your mental abilities. However, your fondness for controversy and contradiction can lead to problems in your interactions with others, driven by a fear of being unrecognized. You tend to avoid emotional individuals and prefer aligning with the majority rather than expressing your own opinions. Striving to please everyone often results in not being taken seriously, despite your oratorical talent. While your mind thrives with a supportive partner, adopting others' ideas may overshadow your originality and make your thoughts less valued.

Mercury ☍ Imum Coeli: The opposition between Mercury and the Imum Coeli (IC) reveals that you find the greatest happiness in acquiring new skills that propel you forward in life. Boredom in your primary occupation is something you struggle with, often leading you to consider job changes, trips, or seeking distractions. You have a strong need for stimulation. As an intellectual, you thrive in fields such as writing, teaching, public speaking, research, and politics. Alternatively, you may enjoy hands-on work, finding fulfillment in practical skills or dynamic roles like driving or operating machinery. Regardless, it is crucial for you to maintain an interest in your work, rely on your wit, and develop self-discipline to combat feelings of loss.

Mercury ☍ Descendant: The opposition between Mercury and the Descendant highlights the importance of words in your relationships, particularly during emotional challenges. Honest and open communication is crucial for connecting with your partners, who should engage in conversations about shared interests and ideas. You are drawn to brilliant minds that complement your own thoughts. In marriage, there is a risk of emotional coldness and distance, leading to relationship fatigue. Mental games and partnerships involving intelligent individuals attract you. However, be cautious of attracting friends who engage in gossip or small lies. Enemies may employ cunning strategies to undermine you, and it is advisable to avoid confrontations and offensive language. There is a possibility of engaging in extramarital affairs with younger individuals.

Mercury ☍ Midheaven: The opposition between Mercury and the Midheaven in an astrological chart brings dynamics and influences to an individual's career and public image. It creates tension between communication style, intellectual pursuits, and professional goals. Challenges arise in effectively conveying ideas and opinions, finding balance between authenticity and societal expectations. Overanalysis and clashes between personal beliefs and professional demands can lead to indecisiveness. However, growth opportunities exist to integrate these aspects. Clear and honest communication, diplomatic skills, and flexibility are important. With conscious effort, this opposition can bring strength, offering a unique perspective and intellectual depth to the individual's public image and career path.

Mercury ☍ Chiron: The opposition between Mercury and Chiron generates boredom and difficulty in effective communication. Thoughts are inconsistent and inhibited, avoiding reflection and problem-solving. Accumulating information is possible, but studying and drawing conclusions can be challenging. Adapting and doing things in advance can lead to bureaucratic processes, while multiplying money is a struggle. Legal matters may become prolonged despite hostility. Unconventional healing concepts, like the holistic approach and mind-body connection, may make you uncomfortable. However, keeping possibilities of different dimensions and experiences alive is important. Maintaining an open mind and striving for balance are advised.

Mercury ☍ Vesta: You may find it difficult or be unwilling to accept the concept of spiritual devotion, particularly if it involves restricting your sexual expression. You may feel drawn to the spiritual life, but at the same time, resist its pull and even argue against it. There may be a sense of conflict between logic and devotion, which can manifest within a meaningful relationship where you embody one aspect and oppose the other. Nevertheless, it is possible and desirable to seek a balance that allows for the integration of both aspects into your life.

Mercury ☍ Pallas: You may experience challenges or discomfort when it comes to expressions of independence and social reform. Women's liberation might be a topic that poses difficulties for you. Even though you may resist the seemingly extreme stance of complete independence, you can still strongly identify with it. Within yourself, you may feel a dichotomy in your emotions concerning creativity, independence, and social reform. This internal conflict can manifest in a relationship where someone fulfills the role that you reject.

Mercury ☍ Juno: When Mercury is opposed to Juno, there is a disconnect between your desires in a long-term romance and your vision of a long-term relationship. Finding a partner who meets your ideals can be challenging, and communication difficulties may arise, leading to a feeling of being misunderstood. Ironically, you may adopt an independent approach despite seeking a casual encounter. The best advice is to avoid making hasty decisions or judgments about others. Taking time and refraining from snap judgments is key in navigating this aspect.

Mercury ☍ Ceres: When Mercury is opposed to Ceres, you may face a dichotomy between the roles of parent and child, leading to a struggle in finding balance. There can be a strong desire for independence from your parents or difficulty letting go of your role as a parent. This may result in challenges and separation issues. Additionally, conflicts with neighbors, friends, and relatives may arise when discussing nutrition and care. It is important to reflect on your plans and goals while organizing the necessary details. Despite potential criticisms, maintaining self-esteem and developing effective communication skills can help navigate these challenges and achieve better interaction with others.

Mercury ☍ Vertex: You may encounter opposition to your ideas or feel compelled to abandon your cherished beliefs. Conflicts may arise when working with others in fields such as travel, writing, or teaching. Somehow, your unique perspective may lead others to perceive you as marching to a different beat. It becomes essential for you to prioritize taking action that serves your own needs and aspirations.

Mercury ☍ Lilith: This aspect is characterized by a critical, caustic, and acerbic nature, which often manifests through humor, intellectual clarity, and a penchant for mockery. You are often a silent individual who resists conforming to conventional thinking, yet harbors significant doubts about your own thoughts and beliefs.

Venus ☍ Mars: Venus opposed Mars represents the conflict between feminine and masculine energies, yet also holds potential for inner harmony. In a balanced state, these opposing forces allow for complete development. Individuals may strongly identify with their anima (feminine aspect) or animus (masculine aspect), leading to intense romantic bonds but also conflicts. Gender-based tensions can coexist with attraction, resulting in relationships characterized by mutual antagonism. Inner turmoil arises from the desire for both harmony and assertiveness. Striving for balance between passivity and activity, and integrating the masculine and feminine aspects, can resolve conflicts and foster a holistic personality. Exploring anima and animus complexes aids in achieving greater integration.

Venus ☍ Jupiter: Venus opposed Jupiter creates conflict between your evaluative and relationship functions and the expansive aspects of your psyche. The pursuit of joy and fulfillment may seem at odds with your values and relationships, leading to dissatisfaction and exaggerated expectations. You may devalue what brings you pleasure and feel inadequate in relationships, potentially leading to infidelity. However, this opposition can also inspire growth and goal-oriented behavior. Finding balance and appreciating what you have while controlling excess is key. Generosity and understanding in relationships bring greater satisfaction. The opposition also affects the anima, highlighting issues of femininity and expansiveness. Developing understanding leads to positive growth in the feminine aspect of your psyche.

Venus ☍ Saturn: Venus opposed Saturn highlights the conflict between opposing qualities in your psyche. These include situational sensitivity versus rigidity, individual judgment versus reliance on rules, and feeling versus cold reason. You may resist structure and discipline in relationships, leading to guilt and limitations. Overcompensation or harsh criticism can arise. Restoring balance involves embracing structure, organization, and discipline while critically examining your value system. Cooperating with others helps overcome perceived obstacles. The opposition also affects the anima, causing conflict between femininity and paternal archetypes. Achieving balance is crucial to avoid guilt and societal pressures.

Venus ☍ Uranus: Venus opposed Uranus reveals two opposing polarities within your psyche. One is the conflict between individuality and the need for relationships, while the other is between change and maintaining harmony. Individuation requires change, potentially disrupting existing relationships and value systems. Change is perceived as threatening, yet there is a fascination with the unconventional. There is a yearning for freedom but fear of disrupting stability. Balancing individuality and relationships is crucial, respecting personal growth within a commitment. Adapting values to a higher vision resolves conflicts, and femininity may confront the stress of change and independence. Liberation from conventional views may arise.

Venus ☍ Neptune: The opposition of Venus and Neptune reflects a polarization in your emotional state and a conflict between the immanent and transcendent aspects of your psyche. Venus represents attachment, affection, and enjoyment directed towards material objects and people, while Neptune represents ethereal and transcendent experiences. This dichotomy leads to confusion and fear when the transcendent disrupts your earthly experiences. You struggle with uncertainty, disorientation, and unwanted confusion in relationships and sensations. Balancing the material and spiritual realms is key, accepting uncertainty while cultivating spiritual capacity. Integrating feminine qualities and positive Neptune energy helps embrace the unknown and aspire to transcendence, leading to a more balanced and whole self.

Venus ☍ Pluto: The opposition of Venus and Pluto presents a dilemma between pursuing power and embracing unity and harmony in your relationships. Your psyche is divided between a desire for conflict and transformation and a longing for harmony. This conflict stems from your subconscious seeking to change your values and relationships by breaking attachment to the status quo. Your ego defends the existing balance, perceiving transformation as disruptive. Conflict may arise externally or internally, and issues of power, control, and sexuality may dominate your relationships. A psychological crisis may lead to introspection and shedding negative attachments, potentially improving relationships. The opposition also affects your anima, highlighting the need to resolve power, sexuality, and femininity-related issues for both genders.

Venus ☍ Part of Fortune: The opposition of Venus and the Part of Fortune suggests that you may perceive "bad luck" when evaluating your options, relationships, and possessions. It can lead to dissatisfaction, resentment, and a belief that good relationships and fortune are incompatible. You may feel cursed, forced to choose between relationships or pursuing good fortune, sacrificing one for the other. Breaking out of this either-or mentality is crucial for reducing tension and finding balance. This opposition also affects your perception of the feminine, potentially leading to negative views or difficulties appreciating it. By reconceptualizing good fortune, you can discover ways in which feminine principles and true fortune can complement each other.

Venus ☍ Ascendant: The opposition of Venus and the Rising sign indicates that you are drawn to refined individuals and are generally well-regarded by others. You prioritize maintaining harmonious relationships and avoid passing judgment on others. However, you may sometimes project qualities onto people that they don't possess. While you may appear confident, you feel uneasy without someone providing support. Your polite and courteous nature earns respect, but you have an underlying fear of not marrying, leading to early marriages that end in divorce. You conceal inner insecurities and exhibit modesty in the presence of superiors. Social status and recognition hold importance to you.

Venus ☍ Imun Coeli: The opposition of Venus indicates that you possess a charming and reassuring personality, using your charisma to benefit yourself and others. Cooperation is more important to you than competition, making you an asset in teamwork-oriented professions. While your artistic potential depends on other factors in your birth chart, you appreciate work that allows you to express love for people. Relationships are significant, and association with a woman can be beneficial. Conflict-prone careers should be avoided as they become overwhelming. Seeking quieter work environments and engaging in stress-relieving activities can help alleviate workplace stress.

Venus ☍ Descendant: The opposition of Venus reveals that your desire for respect and validation can create challenges in your business partnerships and love life. Low self-esteem leads you to seek validation from others, sometimes attracting superficial relationships. This hinders the establishment of stable connections due to excessive pride, vanity, and a focus on passion and sensuality. You may encounter difficulties with female friends and relatives, leading to envy, jealousy, and gossip. It is important to avoid relying solely on others for self-esteem. Additionally, be cautious of attracting a high-maintenance spouse who prioritizes luxury and finances.

Venus ☍ Midheaven: The opposition of Venus to the Midheaven signifies a strong focus on relationships, love, and harmony. Individuals value social connections and aesthetics, seeking emotional fulfillment in their interactions. However, they face a conflict between their personal relationships and career goals. Struggling to balance emotional needs with professional ambitions, they may feel torn and dissatisfied. Expressing personal values within their careers can be challenging, leading to compromises and sacrifices. By aligning values with their chosen path and developing communication skills, individuals can integrate personal and professional lives harmoniously, creating a fulfilling and balanced existence.

Venus ☍ Chiron: The Venus opposition to Chiron creates a disconnection between consciousness and emotions, leading to difficulty recognizing and understanding one's own feelings. Outwardly, positive or negative emotions may not be visibly expressed. This aspect is associated with melancholy, pessimism, and a tendency towards a sad demeanor. Personal relationships often involve emotional pain due to prioritizing the care of loved ones over one's own needs, leading to resentment. Acting as a peacemaker is common, driven by sensitivity to disharmony. Self-acceptance, particularly regarding femininity and sexuality, is a struggle, fostering emotional vulnerability. Artistic expression becomes an outlet for showcasing overlooked beauty and challenging societal norms. Learning self-nurturing and trusting personal wisdom is crucial.

Venus ☍ Vesta: The Venus opposition to Vesta presents a challenge in integrating sexuality and sensuality with one's spiritual path. The perception of intimacy as an obstacle to spiritual growth may lead to a belief that choosing between love/pleasure and spiritual development is necessary. Balancing and honoring both needs becomes crucial. Fear of deep emotional connection can make it difficult to feel comfortable in romantic relationships. Avoiding commitment in love may result in a lack of happiness. Immersing oneself in work as a means of avoidance is a potential pitfall. Understanding the importance of work, health, and love is essential for a fulfilling life, avoiding isolation and emotional detachment.

Venus ☍ Pallas: The Venus opposition to Pallas suggests a tendency to prioritize personal comfort and harmony over political activism and artistic involvement. However, there is still an awareness of accepted standards and a potential for motivated action. This combination emphasizes the importance of appropriate behavior in civilized culture and a focus on conflict resolution in social situations. Experiences of indecent behavior contribute to the development of an awareness of correct social conduct. The wisdom gained throughout life allows for the ability to see beyond superficial beauty and uphold a refined moral code.

Venus ☍ Juno: When Venus opposes Juno, you may have high ideals about love but struggle with imposing these ideals on others instead of engaging in open communication. Relying solely on physical attraction can lead to misunderstandings and relationships that lack depth. Conversely, you might feel tempted to rush into a marriage based on fantasies without truly knowing if there is genuine love and commitment. It's important to approach romantic decisions with caution, ensuring there is genuine love and a solid foundation before committing to a lasting relationship. By fostering open communication and realistic expectations, you can navigate this aspect with more clarity and fulfillment.

Venus ☍ Ceres: When Venus opposes Ceres, you may have a close bond with your nurturing mother, but there can be unresolved issues surrounding separation and independence. Possessiveness and a fear of suffocating loved ones may create a disconnection from receiving care. In relationships, you seek individuals who provide support, but an overprotective mother may hinder your emotional development and discourage relationships she deems "without a future." It's important to communicate with your mother about the need for care from others. This aspect can also present challenges in dating or marriage, with separation or divorce being particularly daunting. Finding someone who values mutual care and support is essential.

Venus ☍ Vertex: When Venus opposes the Vertex, your love relationships may pose challenges until you align yourself with like-minded individuals who share your thoughts, desires, and future plans. Surrounding yourself with people who lack similar spiritual and moral values can imbalance your social life. You attract catalysts into your life who challenge your understanding of genuine needs in relationships. Inhibitions and feelings of unworthiness can obscure romantic prospects and social interactions, especially in pursuit of unrequited love. Harmonizing your social activities with others and practicing self-care are essential. Take care of your voice and throat, allowing your charm to shine through.

Venus ☍ Lilith: When Venus opposes Lilith, there may come a time when you lose faith in love, despite yearning for a deep and passionate connection. Fear of rejection or obstacles can cause you to shy away from joyful love and commit to lasting relationships. This may lead to engaging in superficial relationships or succumbing to societal illusions. You might project a cold and distant façade to protect yourself from heartbreak. Finding balance is crucial, allowing yourself to trust, believe in love, and open up to someone who demonstrates its worthiness. Strive for authentic connections and avoid letting fear dictate your actions.

Mars ☍ Jupiter: The Mars opposition to Jupiter signifies obstacles in fully expressing both your desires and expansion in your psyche. Incorporating the opposites is essential for inner wholeness. Mars may feel limited or lack deep understanding, leading to difficulty in taking on significant tasks or experiencing joy. Alternatively, if you possess expanded horizons and understanding, frustration may arise in manifesting these ideas tangibly. Conflicts may emerge between personal desires and moral guidelines, causing guilt or inferiority. Denying yourself the benefits of life, you may engage in destructive behavior. Finding balance involves integrating personal assertiveness (Mars) with transpersonal expansion (Jupiter) for a fulfilling life.

Mars ☍ Saturn: The Mars opposition to Saturn highlights a conflict between active and inert energies within you. Impulses drive you to take action, but practical considerations make you hesitant. Balancing these inclinations leads to conflicts and feelings of being torn between acting and hesitating. Impulsive actions may be questioned later, while planning can be abandoned due to impatience. The opposition also creates a conflict between personal desires and societal obligations, leading to frustration and aggression. Finding balance involves integrating personal expression with structured frameworks and recognizing the role of rules and limitations. The opposition also affects the expression of the animus, with potential issues related to authority figures. Reclaiming a healthy animus requires understanding and accepting its formation through rules and discipline.

Mars ☍ Uranus: The Mars opposition to Uranus reveals a resistance to change and transformation in fulfilling personal desires. You may perceive successful action as incompatible with abstract concepts and lofty goals, creating a dilemma between pursuing personal desires or adhering to principles for the common good. Following principles sets you apart and challenges your individuality. Choosing the higher path requires sacrificing personal desires, leading to feelings of guilt and occasional paralysis of action. To relieve tension, unconventional actions may be taken, but there is a struggle to express uniqueness while conforming to societal norms. Finding balance between the ideal and the necessary is essential, as well as embracing unconventional expressions of masculinity.

Mars ☍ Neptune: The opposition between Mars and Neptune highlights the contradiction between action and transcendence. Mars represents personal desires and concrete action, while Neptune symbolizes self-dissolution and transcendence. This conflict pulls you in two different directions, causing doubt, confusion, and a sense of failure. It affects both your practical and spiritual life, as you struggle to reconcile your worldly desires with the desire for transcendence. This internal tension can hinder effective action and lead to frustration. Balancing and integrating these opposing forces is key to finding harmony. Additionally, the opposition may bring up issues related to masculinity and sexuality, requiring a confrontation with stereotypes and a transcendence of immature concepts.

Mars ☍ Pluto: The opposition between Mars and Pluto reveals a conflict between conscious action and subconscious motivations. Your personal desires and impulsive nature often contradict deeper subconscious goals or the need for power and control. This conflict can lead to external opposition, self-sabotage, or a struggle between impulsive gratification and conscience. Balancing these extremes is crucial to liberating hidden desires and integrating positive qualities of Mars and Pluto. It involves exercising control over impulses, strategic action within power dynamics, and addressing issues related to power and sexuality. Psychological work on the animus or anima is necessary to confront shadow aspects and achieve transformation.

Mars ☍ Part of Fortune: The opposition between Mars and the Part of Fortune presents challenges and frustrations, calling for a balance between their psychological functions. Your actions may seem to lead you away from experiencing good fortune, creating self-inflicted obstacles or diverting you from what you truly need. There may be a lack of desire to pursue beneficial paths, instead gravitating towards things that bring pain or stagnation. This inability to take positive action can result in frustration and impulsive behavior. Striving excessively for good fortune or dismissing it when it arrives further hinders progress. Achieving balance requires purposeful action while accepting that some desires may be beyond your fortune to attain.

Mars ☍ Ascendant: With Mars opposing the Rising, you tend to attract threatening individuals due to a lack of self-confidence. Your aggressive actions are a defense mechanism to convince yourself otherwise. Constant interactions help you develop skills to handle potential exploiters. However, your lack of self-discipline affects communication, leading to irritation and aggression when challenged. Learning to control your words and actions is crucial. While authorities may see you as unique, they may find you difficult to deal with. Engaging in competitive interactions helps you assert yourself constructively, but compromising for peace and harmony is important. Express your creative energy through actions, value supportive friends, and appreciate their assistance.

Mars ☍ Imum Coeli: Having self-confidence is crucial for navigating your professional life. A stable and loving home life can contribute to entering the world with confidence, enabling you to set goals, work diligently, and find success in various professions. However, a lack of self-confidence may lead to hesitations in your career path. Obstacles and conflicts can hinder your progress and even cause stress-related illnesses. Seeking professional advice, such as personal counseling or career guidance, can help you build self-esteem, make wise choices, and achieve the desired success.

Mars ☍ Descendant: In your partnerships, you tend to attract assertive, independent, and highly energetic individuals who are constantly seeking excitement and release of tension. When it comes to marriage, you are likely to attract a spouse who is aggressive and a strong leader, both in the domestic setting and professionally, particularly in surgical fields. Your friends and interactions are often challenging, as they compete with you in various ways. This competitive dynamic extends to your marriage, where there is a potent sexual attraction and friendly competition around sexual energy. You are drawn to decisive partners who can express their anger, and healthy competition exists as long as limits are respected.

Mars ☍ Midheaven: When Mars opposes the Midheaven (MC) in your chart, it creates tension between your assertive nature and your public image and career aspirations. Mars represents your drive and ambition, while the Midheaven reflects your professional reputation and how others perceive you. This opposition can lead to conflicts and challenges in finding a balance between expressing yourself and meeting the expectations of your chosen career. It requires learning to channel your assertiveness in a way that aligns with long-term goals and developing effective communication skills. By navigating these challenges consciously, you can achieve success and establish a fulfilling public image.

Mars ☍ Chiron: When Mars opposes Chiron in your chart, you possess a fighting spirit that manifests differently depending on the planets and houses involved. If spiritually advanced, you fight for the weak and underprivileged, but if less developed, you focus on strengthening your own position. This aspect offers opportunities for courage and rapid growth, but it can also create complications as you instinctively fight for your rights. Paradoxically, you become your own greatest adversary, stemming from a challenging upbringing. Recognizing your self-worth and seeking internal validation is crucial to overcome self-sabotage. As you progress, your fight may shift towards offering empathy and assistance to others, fostering personal healing and exploring alternative healthcare approaches.

Mars ☍ Vesta: When Mars opposes Vesta in your chart, you may face obstacles in taking action and fulfilling commitments. Feelings of "masculine inadequacy" can lead to overly aggressive sexual expression as a compensation mechanism. Overworking is another common response to repressed anger or sexual issues. Resolving these challenges involves aligning your energy, drive, and will with a focused direction and purpose. You may struggle with a dilemma between dedication and self-interest, projecting one role while hiding the other within relationships. Finding balance between self-directed action and dedication to truth is a challenging yet stabilizing process. Integrating these aspects will lead to personal growth and fulfillment.

Mars ☍ Pallas: When Mars opposes Pallas in your chart, you may have a tendency to avoid participating in socially active groups, despite supporting their causes, due to a resistance towards being an adventurer. You prefer to work alone, although you understand the importance of organized action. Your personal ambitions and interests might hinder your ability to fight for justice, possibly due to a lack of self-confidence. Gender roles and equality could be significant issues for you, but you may hesitate to take a firm stand. These issues often arise within the context of a loving relationship, where you may struggle to develop trust and intimacy due to self-confidence issues. Developing self-assurance will enhance your intimate relationships.

Mars ☍ Juno: When Mars opposes Juno in your chart, there is a potential for using anger to control or manipulate your loved ones or spouse. Resolving conflicts requires finding a middle ground and avoiding taking sides. It's crucial to address the need for equality and assertiveness in the relationship to prevent it from becoming a constant battle. However, projecting these needs onto your partner can lead to difficulties with aggression or anger. You may feel like you're constantly swinging between opposing viewpoints, struggling to find a stable middle ground. While you have a clear vision of your ideal long-term relationship, turning it into reality is challenging. You're often attracted to individuals with different mindsets, but approaching them in a manipulative manner can hinder progress. It's important to avoid manipulative behavior and be mindful of attracting partners with similar tendencies.

Mars ☍ Ceres: When Mars opposes Ceres in your chart, you may experience a conflict between the desire to nurture and the need for independence. This conflict can stem from your upbringing, particularly if you were raised by a dominant or controlling parent. Learning to nurture those in your home environment will enhance your patience and assertiveness. You might face a dilemma regarding domestic life, as you value your freedom and independence. Additionally, conflicts related to parenting and nurturing may arise in your relationships. Compassion challenges may present opportunities to practice kindness and care, but it's important to avoid using brute force. Neglecting self-care can lead to harm, so balancing strength, determination, and courage is crucial. Trust in the importance and direction of your actions, even if personal sacrifices are required.

Mars ☍ Vertex: When Mars opposes the Vertex in your chart, you will encounter opposition in your actions, providing opportunities to navigate challenging situations and develop valuable skills. Your personal charm will help restore balance in these demanding encounters. People you meet along your journey will encourage you to explore your sense of self-identity, although it may be a complex process due to impulsive reactions and personal struggles. However, relying solely on others to do the work for you will lead to frustration. Life will present numerous situations where you must take charge, seize opportunities, and strive for success. However, it's important to approach challenges with mindfulness, considering not only the needs of others but also your own.

Mars ☍ Lilith: Mars opposing Lilith reveals a pattern of behaviors with a "boomerang effect" in your life. You often take action to stand out and may issue or accept challenges that can incite aggression from others. It's crucial to exercise caution, be aware of the facts, and practice prudence to prevent situations from escalating. Unconsciously, you may find yourself in a position of being rejected or attacked, despite not seeking conflict. Your anger, aggression, and hostility can unintentionally trigger similar reactions in others, especially those prone to violence. Awareness and self-control are key to managing this dynamic.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[coralinnii]

Villainess au Side story: the villain in my heart feat: Vil genre: fluff, suggestive(?)

Note: follows the villain/ess series Vil ver. but can be read independently, no pronouns were used, villain/ess!reader is a simp (as I am), roughly 1.1k word count 

I say I mostly just do SFW but why did this one feel a little uhhh… I genuinely had to pause a couple of times cuz I had to stop getting thirsty

“S-Sir Vil, you really needn’t do this” 

“Hush now and keep still” 

Since your recovery, you finally went back to your duties as part of the Schoenheit family, which includes healing the family’s image after your “incident”. You planned to accept invitations from other families to prove your return to health and you were happy to see that your dear friend Neige has sent an invitation to you like he usually do. But this time will be different. 

“I will be accompanying you” Vil adamantly announced which surprised you knowing his absolute disdain for the young ravenette noble.

“You really don’t need to, Sir Vil. I’ve been to the LeBlanche manor before-” 

“I’m going” 

Honestly, Vil can’t tell if you’re too nonchalant about this or just plain oblivious to the situation. How can you believe that someone of such a high status such as yourself would not be subject to more scandalous rumors should you visit a man’s house alone, no matter how kind and innocent he may be. There is also a more selfish reason as the idea that his partner would choose to visit his rival so casually did not sit well with him, not that he will ever tell you. 

Which is why you were fidgeting as Vil was seated close to you, carefully tying a detailed knot on your tie before he plans to pin a brooch that was from an expensive set, with your husband wearing its matching pair. Vil’s long fingers would occasionally brush against your neck as he soothes your collar leaving goosebumps from his touch which you were sure he could see with how close he was.��

Was heaven supposed to be this hard to breathe? 

“S-Sir Vil, I don’t want to rush you but we’ll be late” you barely spoke through your nerves but Vil kept on with the task he personally took on. 

“Beauty is not to be rushed, I have taught you that” Vil replied, his eyes inspecting the brooch placed upon you before raising to lock his eyes on yours “Speaking of which, I need to teach you out of that bad habit of yours” 

You felt cold sweat as you mentally combed through your recent memories for what the handsome man may have been referring to. Did Vil find out that you’ve been secretly asking for more desserts after dinner when he leaves? Or that you've skipped your beauty routine two days in a row in favor of napping longer? Perhaps he knows about the letters you’ve been exchanging with Rook to gush about Vil that’s been taking away your scheduled beauty sleep. 

Vil watched the internal crisis in your head leak into your expression which leaves him to have an exasperated look on his own face. “I can’t imagine what must be going on in that mind right now but it’s probably incorrect. I’m talking about your manner of speaking” 

Vil continued to surprise you today as you weren't expecting that comment. You supposed you spoke more casually with Rook and Neige (primarily as they’re your fan club buddies) but you were sure you kept your dignity with the nobles as to not disgrace the Schoenheit name. 

“To be specific, I’m not satisfied with the way you address me” Vil clarified your confusion. “I’m not some noble but your husband. As such, calling me by a title such as Sir reflects badly on our relationship.” 

“So, you’re telling me t-to-“ 

“Call me by my name” Vil cut to the chase. “I would rather you’d call me by a more affectionate name but this would suffice for now” 

Vil’s nonchalance over the matter does not extend to you as your mind is processing what the man just requested from you like it wasn’t the most stressful order he has ever made to you. Being able to call the man you’ve idolized before and after you reincarnated so casually is akin to being given the chance to hold the most beautiful diamond in the world, a great but heavy honor to be bestowed upon. 

Vil was silently waiting for you so you had no choice but to give your best attempt, which resulted in a soft utterance of his name with your eyes looking away. Your body burned in embarrassment as you feverishly ask your heart to calm down. 

However, Vil was not merciful as he narrowed his lavender eyes in dissatisfaction. In a swift moment, he gripped your chin between his fingers in order to force your gaze to meet his. 

“It’s rude to speak while looking away, I've taught you better” Vil sternly said but his finger lightly stroked your chin as though he was enticing you rather than reprimanding. “Try again, louder and clearer this time” 

But you couldn't. Your mind was racing as you felt overwhelmed by the beautiful man before you. Loose strands of his soft locks fell from his braid and tickled your burning cheeks as his touch flooded your senses. You might just perish right then, a quick but happy end of your second life.

But Vil thought differently. He was typically a patient man but there was a subtle burn in his heart that called for his attention. A new desire he realized has been building the more he spends his days with you. It builds with every giddy smile you send his way, with every time he sees the sparkle in your eyes as you tell him about your day, with every waft of your perfume that he recommended you and has been wearing every day. This time, he craves for more than fleeting gazes and quick exchange of smiles. He commands you, 

“Say my name” 

“V-Vil!” You startled yourself as you immediately responded. Your voice obeyed without a second thought and that quick reply left you flustered over the secret glee you’re experiencing. It felt like opening Pandora’s box. Now that you have crossed the threshold so to speak, you suddenly crave to say it again and again with a smile on your face. Is this normal, you wonder? 

Vil on the other hand, felt an odd wave of satisfaction hearing his name leave your lips without that pesky title. That subtle act of intimacy has momentarily sated that itch in his heart. 

“That’s a good start. Well done” Vil praised your efforts as he slowly released his grip, sneakily brushing his fingers across your cheek to indulge in the heat of your cheeks. He pondered on this new teasing side of him that seems to appear around you but he’s not too worried about it, especially when you don’t seem to hate it. 

A smirk graced his lips as Vil finally stood up from his seat, before making his way to the door. He paused and turned his head, unsurprised by your immobile figure and mind still processing the events mere seconds ago. His voice cut through your thoughts, breaking your daze. 

“Let’s go. As you said, we’ll be late”