#Comprehensive well-being
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The Right Food & Exercise: A Wonder for Your Body & Mind
Introduction In the pursuit of a healthy lifestyle, two elements stand out: the right food and regular exercise. These two factors work in harmony to create a balance in our bodies and minds that can lead to a higher quality of life. Nutritional Balance Eating the right food is not about strict dietary limitations or depriving yourself of the foods you love. It’s about feeling great, having…
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#Balanced diet#Comprehensive well-being#Disease prevention#Healthy choices#Healthy lifestyle#Mental health#Mental health advantages#Mental well-being#Nutritional balance#Optimal health#Physical benefits#Physical health#Regular exercise#Right food#Wonders of food and exercise
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So, what's up with you?
#ii fan#ii suitcase#suitcase ii#fan ii#ii fanart#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity fanart#pankie art#ii#they both suck at opening up#suitcase thinks nobody will understand#fan doesnt know how to express his insecurities in any comprehensible way#they both probably connected so well bc they had that similar issue of not being able to open up#which is so funny cuz they both CAN quite literally 'Open up'#pankie art fav
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Badly made comic of And So The Moon Wept bc it just finished and I’m devastated
‼️CHAPTER 15 SPOILERS‼️
I wanted to make one more page between the second and third bc pacing, but I didn’t wanna rethink all three of those pages’ compositions. It’s pretty ass bc it’s all sketches, but the last ones came out pretty decent I think👍
(Don’t look at the house too closely, I really didn’t wanna look at a reference so I just freestyled it)
Scrapped versions bc idk
Now that that’s out the way, I’ll start with the ranting, you can leave now this is for me
THE ENDING⁉️ DAMN⁉️⁉️⁉️
I would start rereading immediately to see all the details and analyze the psychology of the ‘tsukuyomi world’ characters BUT I unfortunately have my global exams next week 🥲
Warning for -1000 media literacy‼️ while writing all this I remembered that my memory is bad an my analytical skills are even worse! So be warned :p
BUT ANYWAY!! This was a top tear fanfic, seriously at no point did I consider the infinite tsukuyomi as a possibility. And I think this has to do with the fact that the psychology and individual lives of the characters in this dream were so well developed. There’s so many POVs! And they’re so complex and detailed!! Really makes you wonder if this was really the tsukuyomi or if Kakashi’s consciousness was sent to a different world all together. Which is what makes it so terribly tragic. Kakashi lived so many years in this perfect world just to regain all his memories and find out that it really was all fake, a world made up entirely of his own fantasies.
Oh and what a fantasy it was, getting hit by that boulder and fucking dying! The only reason he got to live was bc of ‘Hound’ (which could be interpreted as his consciousness telling him to wake tf up). Everything felt so wrong to Kakashi not because he noticed this things weren’t right, but bc he was never meant to live in this world. This was the prefect reality for everyone around him, his dream, a world without him (FUCK BRO💔💔💔💔). Which is the reason why I think the characters are so three dimensional in this dream, maybe, idk bro I just made this up.
But even then, things don’t exactly add up (if you think about it they do BUT SHHHHHH LET ME DREAM). Why did some characters suffer so much if this was meant to be a better world for everyone else? Why did Rin’s parent’s die? Why did Sakumo try suicide so many times?
We know Rin’s and Obito’s relationship started declining when Rin didn’t believe Obito when he swore up and down that Kakashi was somehow alive (which IS Hound’s fault in a way, he saved Kakashi and that’s why Obito saw Kakashi sinking into the ground, making him believe that Kakashi didn’t die), but it goes farther than that. Rin’s real problem with Obito was that he was so stuck on his dead teammate that he neglected the rest of his living team, Kakashi was literally everything he thought about to the point it started negatively affecting others (which, yeah him being obsessed is pretty normal considering that Kakashi was part of the reason he activated his sharingan and THE reason he activated the Mangekyo). So what did he do? Go hang out with the one other person who would ALSO only think of Kakashi all day, Sakumo. Obito eventually accepted that Kakashi was dead, but he and Rin never reconnected.
Was this really the perfect ending for them? Come on tsukuyomi, you’re more creative than that.
For some reason I think that the tsukuyomi was freestyling all this. Bc (by my interpretation) the point of Kakashi’s dream was that he died at Kannabi Bridge instead of Obito, period. The rest is extra stuff bc their lives have to go on ig? Or maybe the infinite tsukuyomi is really big brained and depicted a realistic depiction of 🖐️🖐️🖐️HOLD THE FUCK UP I’M DUMB I JUST FIGURED SMTH OUT
Bro this is why I need to reread this instead of talking to myself when I don’t remember half the details in the fic.
OK SO HOUND DID FUCK SHIT UP🔥🔥🔥
I was trying to think why Sakumo would be alive (if my shit theory above was true, which it isn’t but I’m not deleting all that) AND IT WAS BC SAKUMO NOT KILLING HIMSELF IS HIS PERFECT WORLD 😭😭😭😭. The one thing I’m not so sure ab is Kannabi (I bet if I keep writing this I’ll find the answer) bc Obito WAS gonna get hit by that rock, but hey, he entered the dream after the Obito reveal so maybe his consciousness already knew he would survive, so maybe he’d just appear later in the dream idk. BUT BRO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WAS HE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO COME BACK HOME TO HIS DAD??? AND THEN HIS CONSCIOUSNESS KICKED IN AND HE SAVED OBITO INSTEAD??!!,.. oh I’m sick, this is so evil
That would literally make everything make sense. He derailed the dream so bad that it fucked everything up, making it no longer a perfect world but more similar to reality. If he really was supposed to die, then why did his death have such negative repercussions on everyone he loves? It that was his dream, wouldn’t it be a better world with everybody happy? He wasn’t supposed to die at Kannabi but Hound appeared and saved Obito from a rock, causing a massive butterfly effect.
Pretty romantic if you asked me, “I would leave behind my perfect world just to save you form getting hurt” like damn, it’s not like he remembered that Obito survived at this point in time, but still STOPP I’M DOING IT AGAIN I’M FOCUSING ON THE DETAILS AND NOT THE BIGGER PICTURE AAAA
El cazador de elefantes by Def Con Dos is a pretty good song, hm
Where was I going with this? Don’t remember tbh
This is kinda long, I’m stopping here. Bye internet void ✌️
#and so the moon wept#astmw#kakashi hatake#obkk#kakaobi#kkob#obikaka#obito uchiha#fic rec#bro imagine this wasn’t tsukuyomi but Kakashi’s consciousness really was sent to another reality#obito salty bc it’s midnight and they have a mission tomorrow: wtf do you mean what colour is the moon#kakashi stressed bc he just regained all his memories and all these years might’ve not been real: just respond bro#obito being sarcastic: well obviously it’s red! 😒🙄#and then kakashi fucking dies#it would be so funny actually#oh YOUR kakashi’s dead#ours is just fine over there#points at the most depressed man alive#the reading comprehension devil got me bro#dw I just need a few days to think all the story over#i’m just too excited now that it’s over and am focusing too much on details#and many of the details I don’t remember yet bc my memory is ass
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(my favorite hmsw design trope goes something like this)
#i love it when whole is an eldritch being beyond human comprehension#but also this is incredibly fun as well#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cccc#my art#cj heart#cj mind#cj soul#cj whole#hearts harrowing horizontal habitat
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Listen they barely interact face to face but Adam Warlock and Mistress Death have the funniest dynamic of all time actually.
#they hate each other they're best friends they're rivals they're lovers they're insignificant to one another. and also Thanos is there.#adam warlock#mistress death#thanos#adam magus#the magus#the goddess#and a surprise cameo from Norrin but I'm not tagging him.#thadam#cosmic marvel#art#this is old art but I was gonna draw more then just forgot this in my drafts for a year or two 😐 Being so brave and posting anyways#idk if these are even comprehensible to ppl who aren't super well versed in Starlin's comics but enjoy my sillies.#special shoutout to that time Death asked Thanos to kill Adam and he said no. :)#the way Adam just inserts himself into their relationship makes me scream this throuple is crazy
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oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT
oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.
SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)
so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!
so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.
the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!
now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.
here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.
but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.
so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.
anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.
#using the tags as a footnote system here but in order:#1. quentin MAY not be dead according to some theories but in the text he is a charred corpse#2. arianne is great and i love her but to be honest. my girl is kinda dumb. just 2 b real.#3. faegon is totally a blackfyre i think it's so obvious it may well be text at this point#it's almost r+l = j level man like it's kind of just reading comprehension at this point#4. relatedly there are some characters i think GRRM has endings picked out for and some i think he specifically does NOT#i think stannis melisandre jon and daenerys all will end up the same. jon and dany war crimes => murder/banishment arc is just classic GRRM#but i think jon's reasoning will be different and it'll be better-written.#im sorry but babygirl shireen IS getting flambeed. in response stannis will commit epic battle suicide killing all boltons i hope#brienne will live but in some tragic 'stay awhile horatio' capacity. likely she will try to die defending her liege and fail#faegon will die there's zero chance blackfyres win ever#now jaime/cersei I do NOT think he knows. my brothers in christ i don't think this motherfucker knows who the valonqar is!!#same with tyrion i think that the author in GRRM wants to do a nasty corruption arc + kill him off but the person in him loves him too much#sansa i have no goddamn idea what's going to happen. we just don't know enough about the northern conspiracy to tell#w/ arya i think he has... ideas. i don't think she's going to sail off to Explore i am almost certain that the show doing that was a cover#because the actual idea he gave them was unsavory or nonviable for some reason. bc like.#why would arya leave bran and jon and sansa? the family she's just spent her whole life fighting to come back to and avenge?#this is suspicious this does not feel like arya this does not feel right#bran will not be king or if he is it'll be in a VERY different way not the dumbfuck 'let's vote' bullshit#i personally think bran is going to go full corruption arc and become possessed by the 3 eyed raven. but that could be a pipe dream#the thing is he's way too OP in the show so the books have to nerf him and i think GRRM is still trying to work out#a way to actually do that.#i don't think he told them what happened with littlefinger or sansa. i think sansa's story is vaguely similar#(stark restoration through the female line etc)#but the queen in the north shit is way too contrived frankly. and selfishly i hope she gets something different#being a monarch in ASOIAF is not a happy ending. we know this from the moment we meet robert baratheon in AGOT#and we learn exactly what GRRM thinks of the people who 'win' these endless wars of succession#and they are not heroes#they are not celebrated#and they are neither safe nor happy
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The assault at Sangravah happened in early ACOMAF (before Elain's existence even came into picture for Azriel - 3 days before he even got to meet Feyre)... So I don't get how G and Az are supposed to be mates when he's had all that time to feel something?
There's the parallel of Rhys' father feeling his mating bond snap into place the moment he met his mother being assaulted.
"One look at her, and he knew what she was..." (ACOMAF, ch. 16)
Or Rhys himself feeling the bond when Feyre was being tortured by Amarantha...
"And I knew as I picked up that knife to kill her... I knew right then what you were. I knew right then that you were my mate." (ACOMAF, ch. 54)
Or Cassian simply meeting Nesta. "Say what I've guessed from the moment we met" he breathed. What I knew from the first time I kissed you. What became unbreakable between us on Solstice night." (ACOSF, ch. 62)
Bonus from Nesta: “‘From the moment I met you, I wanted you more than reason. From the moment I saw you in my house, you were all I could think about. And it terrified me. No one had ever held such power over me."
Or even Lucien after Elain was Made and maybe even while being thrown into the Cauldron... I don't even need a quote for them, but even Lucien knew and has tried seeking Elain out after the incident.
It's stated in the books and shown again and again that it's the males who are deeply affected by the mating bond. That they can know from the moment they meet. They all in one way or another sought after the females. Even Nesta and Feyre felt something before they knew or opened themselves up to it. And since they all met - They. Couldn't. Stay. Away.
But there's like... no hint of it from Az after stumbling upon G? Like he just literally stumbles upon her - never actually even actively seeking her out through all those years? He hasn't even actively tried to stay away? He's just... *crickets*
It's been Gwyn making noises and attracting his attention through all their scenes together. It was Gwyn asking for dagger lessons. It was 'Gwyn' making Az the new ribbon (whatever that means). And it's Az's shadows reacting to Gwyn, not Az himself. But there's no real hint that Gwyn feels anything romantic for him. There's barely any interactions between them without linking it to her assault in Sangravah and her growth from it.
Besides Az's shadows reacting to G, and that ribbon moment that everyone deems so pivotal when Az realises what it means for the Valkyries (that he's had a hand in training) and maybe even reflects upon Gwyn's character development and therefore what the ribbon means for Gwyn - which made me feel proud too, and that's how I interpreted it - but I can't see an undeniable sign of it being a mating bond anywhere.
I thought at first that mayhaps he was giving her space because of the assault, but then the BC came and he went "It was too late to bank without appearing like he was running," and then "He wouldn't go so far as to call Gwyn a friend,". (ACOSF, Azriel's Bonus Chapter)
Let's not even mention the part where Gwyn was actually in danger (no matter how capable she was at that point), while Cassian was going ballistic at Nesta being in danger, but Az is all like "Let's go save Eris". Eris who both he and Cassian hates. Eris who Az himself nearly killed during the HLs' pre-war meeting (before he exhibited actual mate behaviour and sought and risked his life to save Elain who's not even his mate). But no, he gave just as much or even less action and reaction about Gwyn as Tamlin gave when Feyre was UTM.
And I was like...
How are they mates? Where's the mate behaviour every male - mated or not - in Prythian has exhibited throughout the books? Why did I keep seeing things about them being mates and endgame?
The only hint between them that I could even begin to consider it from is the second to last sentence in Az's BC.
"But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly."
But I basically have the same interpretation about that as this post from @merymoonbeam. (Although I'm still neutral about the lightsinger theory, it's the most interesting take.)
Because again.
Why hasn't Azriel felt/shown anything or actively sought her out or even actively stayed away if he's known Gwyn since Sangravah?
If they're mates, shouldn't he have felt and shown something - like that glow - and Gwyn be the one to snap him out of his 'love' for Mor before he even had the chance to meet Elain? If he's just lonely and jealous of his brothers having mates then... Why has he barely noticed or sought out Gwyn who's supposed to be his mate?
What, he had to wait until his shadows reacted to her to even think about her?
I'm not an expert at analysing things - I wouldn't even say I'm good at interpreting things especially when I've got my rose-tinted glasses on, so/but I'm always open to being wrong and changing my mind accordingly.
But/so convince me with actual canon and not just your biased opinions, delusions, self-insertions, or ships.
#this is me questioning people's reading comprehension as well as my own#and me wanting to respect it even if i don't agree with it#this was also me anticipating the hint of them being mates while reading ACOSF for the first time 'cause their shippers were everywhere#but like... it never came?#did i miss something#triggered by the hate their shippers are spreading when there's nothing to truly back it up with#it's too bloody late for SJM to backpedal#don't you dare waste 4 books worth of really good foreshadowing and emotional investment#you can't just throw gwyn in there after all that#they all deserve better than that#mate behaviour#azriel acotar#pro elriel#azriel shadowsinger
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Nene my cutie patootie <3 <3
I genuinely love nene so much. There's SOOOO much to her but I feel like literally no one talks about it because " oh she's a girl and she's hot" or something >:( !!! Also nowhere NEAR enough people draw her as deranged and disgruntled as she should look imo.. like guys she has SO. MANY. ISSUES. She's not just some object of your attraction pleeeeeeaaaaeasessseeee hghgnchhf :(( 💥💥 and like don't get me wrong she is so fine like 100% but literally sit and think about her as a character for a second PLEASE I beg of you it's so worth it she's so interesting :(<
ALSO GO LIKE MY OTHER POST OF HER PLEASE THAN THANK YOUUG !!!
#pico's school#picos school#doodle#pico's school fanart#ibispaint art#ibispaintx#nene picos school#nene pico's school#pico's school nene#picos school nene#fnf nene#why does putting tags feel like begging ooohhh my god i might as well shake my ass at this point#fnf#also i would totally elaborate on what i mean but i have such a hard time putting my thoughts into words and just being comprehensible#anyways i love love love loooooove her so much#angelicdonuts
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Hello!
If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?
There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?
OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts
No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:
This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.
Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning
Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.
And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!
Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)
This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that
#not art#admin answers#paranatural#pnat#richard spender#pts-fic-notes-and-blog#before i continue on with tag ramble i just want to say tysm for leaving an ask!#none of my friends read this so ive been stewing on these thoughts for some months and i loved finally sharing them#this isn't exactly proof but the hijack possession seemingly being the final nail in the coffin for his and isabel's relationship.#idk it feels significant to me. thats one more tether to support kinda gone. someone who knows him well enough to know he's unwell#he seems not exactly content but fr incapable of not burning bridges as he is now. and considering how rashly he acts he REALLY needs those#to not do stupid shit all the god damn time with no buffer other than Lucifer. who for his measured approach to rick's hotheadedness#has honestly shown himself to be pretty lenient and kinda bad at controlling spender's more (self) destructive tendencies? so he dont count#to be clear i love spender to bits but he is dumb as rocks and has all the self preservation of a fruit fly. it needs to be said#also the lightning man... idk its WEIRD like especially on the reread its the thing that most consistently threatens him! it repeats#sure he gets chewed by a bat and banged up by forge but?? he somehow always comes back to lightning. catnine has it out for him#its something i didnt even really put together until i continued reading the flashback chapter AFTER getting this ask and went OHHHGNHF#which the only reason lightning is such a non issue is lucifer's powers. which belong to his sunglasses and not to the spirit in him#so its not like they can't be taken away he's just got a really good excuse for having those on all the time#TAGS GETTING SO LONG. ANYWAYS. i hope this is comprehensible lol
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hey does it ever make you kind of crazy that post-reunion, c!owen introduces himself to us as owen agarci? agarci as in the name of the demon he shot in the chest during his trial? we know that's not c!owen's real last name -- he tells us so right then and there -- but i think it matters that of the last names he could have chosen for his lie, he took this one. his last name might have been the only thing he still carried with him of his family, of his past before the attack, and he refuses to use it or admit to it.
because it is an introduction, y'know? his narration, after the reunion, is a way of remaking himself in our eyes -- he is not the person we thought he was, so he needs to introduce himself again. and here, the thing he claims as his originating point, as the moment from his past he wants to carry around with him in something so fundamental as his name, is the moment he first killed a demon. this is the most important piece of his past. this, he is telling us, is where he comes from.
i think a lot about how we never actually see owen's parents. i don't even think we get their names? we get their voices in flashbacks over shots of empty fields and unpopulated streets. there is a kind of blankness to owen's past, or to what owen will reveal to us of his past, that forces us to take on faith that he is telling the truth when he talks about his own history. there is no one who could say otherwise; all the people who might have known him before he was a soldier and then a general are almost certainly dead.
it grants owen a fascinating degree of control over his own history. of course he can remake himself in this way, of course he can tell any story he wants of himself in this way; there's no one left to dispute his claims. in a way, he is his own origin -- as he tells us the story of his life, he is also creating that story. he came out of those woods with nothing but a bow on his back, no history, no one still living who could call to him by name. whatever life he lived before that point doesn't matter -- the thing that fundamentally made him the person who walked into town and demanded to join the army wasn't the life he lived with his parents, it was the violence he'd been exposed to and the violence he'd discovered himself willing and able to engage in. or so his story goes.
do you think when he woke up at the bottom of that elevator, memories wiped, nothing left to him of his past, there was some strange sense that he had done this before? do you think he rose up toward the light of the clearing above, empty-handed and alive, his entire life before this point a history waiting for him to tell it, and wondered why it felt familiar?
or maybe it's that he's refusing us. because following his turn during reunion, there's almost a sense that he has tighter control of the camera now. he addresses his 'voices' nearly antagonistically, wishing we/they would go away, responding and talking to us/them in a way that feels harsher than how he's addressed chat in the past. he's frustrated with us/them: why are you still here, i thought i was done with you. he accuses us/them of only pretending to care, of lingering not so much out of concern or any desire to do something as out of some morbid curiosity. there's a degree of access to him that we seem to have lost. it's as if he's finally certain that there is an audience, and what he's willing to show us shifts.
there's something really lovely and horrifying about a lot of the more scripted sections of owen's pov after the reunion. how it shows us things only he knows (the knife in his hotbar for much of his dinner conversation with guts, the beat where he grabs his backpack and reaches for a weapon when it seems like ayngel is about to recognize him, the interaction with puddy in the second clearing when he visits with krow), but we are nevertheless shut out of his interiority as he starts talking less to others, starts favouring third-person camera shots and narration where he gets to step out of the moment and talk to us directly. you can even think about the 'scripted by owengejuicetv' segments after each kill as signalling this: he has such visible direct control of the story we get to know now. he is the one who gets to tell this story, who gets to move the pieces on the board. here's what happened, he says to us. this is how it went. this is what i do and who i am and here are the parts that mattered. do you ever think about how rasbi's ending wasn't streamed from her pov? do you ever think about how the only witnesses to rasbi's death were rasbi herself, and owen?
#sparrowsong#outsiders smp#i'm aware i'm being inconsistent about using c!owen vs owen with no indicators attached#i am mostly talking about the character throughout but#the realm of 'discussing the strictly fictional' and the realm of 'discussing the creator's storytelling choices' are... blurred.#in this particular case.#and there's also some interesting accidental resonances in how cc!owen is so careful about archiving his stuff and#has such a comprehensive edited playlist for his pov because it means he also just has a ton of#unintentional narrative control just in general?#owen's stuff is easy to find and watch#if he says something and everyone acts like it's true it may as well be true. what are the odds you'll ever see the vod that contradicts it#you know?#anyway i had to get this post out of my system; sorry about the derangements
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I got.... my official adhd diagnosis....🥺🥺🥺🥺
Had my appointment where she went thru all the different parts of the testing and what they found by it. All sorts of things that I didn't even Realize what it was testing. And they pointed to combined type adhd!!!!!
There was also an iq test involved, specifically to test working memory in comparison to other categories, bc that's smth that adhd people tend to score low on. And I did too!!!! Compared to my other scores, at least. It was still average overall, but I scored "high average" on verbal comprehension and "superior" on perceptual reasoning and processing speed. WHICH MEANS!!!! Working memory was my low thing!!! Another thing pointing to it!!!!
Also the weird X test I took was the CPT-3 test and apparently it was geared Specifically towards adhd stuff. Which bc of my "atypically fast" reaction speed + "very elevated" commissions rate (which in this context means incorrectly hit space bar, aka I clicked when I wasn't supposed to) it showed a strong indication of impulsivity & some indication of inattentiveness and vigilance. That impulsivity is the big one here tho.
I'm just really excited now. I have a long report talking about all my brain stuffs that says I Do have adhd and that it would benefit me to take stimulants. AND!!!!! That I DONT have depression or anxiety!!!! That's a fuckin big one!!!!!! Bc they've avoided giving me stimulants in the past bc of the "anxiety" except I don't got it!!!! The examiner said exactly what I thought about it, which is that the prior disgnoses of depression and anxiety probably stemmed from effects of the untreated adhd. Aka I had Feels Bad Disorder. Ykno? Except not actually a disorder bc it was just a byproduct.
SO! Hopefully that can help me to get proper meds as soon as possible. Gonna be contacting my doctor to set up an appointment... soon!!!!!
#speculation nation#also i dont believe in iq being a good measure of overall intelligence bc there are many kinds of intelligence#.... that being said. it Does feel good to get a good score on it.#my overall iq according to this test is 122. which is pretty good!!93rd percentile. 'superior' as it states in the classification.#verbal comprehension had a 116 aka 'high average'. perceptual reasoning had 125 aka 'superior'#working memory had 108 aka 'average'. and processing speed had 120 aka 'superior'#ultimately it told me what i figured out during the assessment. that my visual based intelligence is high. but auditory is not.#since the working memory deals in short term memory. attention. concentration. and ability to manipulate attention heard.#which that all's why it's a good indicator of adhd when it's low. and it was Definitely my worst skill during the test.#she recommended that i come back in a year to get a followup exam. to see how well medication is helping me.#according to her there was a woman who went 11 years thinking she was functioning Wonderfully on her meds#only to find it was only helping One aspect of her adhd when she went in for re-evaluation.#so if i do go back. i wonder if she'd do the iq test again. and i wonder if id score better when on meds 🤔🤔🤔#i really. reaaaaaally want to get on meds so i can fix my brain. for the love of fucking god Please.#also the only diagnosis i got was for adhd. no mention of autism. which i dont know if she was even testing for it at all#i didnt mention it in the initial thing bc i didnt want to get it diagnosed. bc i dont think a diagnosis for that would help me.#so this is a good thing. especially the lack of depression or anxiety. it's exactly what i was thinking i had.#diagnosis... i got my diagnosis...!!! wahoo!!!!!!
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Ppl who unironically believe gege hates gojo baffle me because???? That's their character??? That's literally one of the characters they've put the most time into thinking about??? We know so much random shit about gojo bc gege keeps doing interviews about him???? Gege gave gojo his own custom infinity halo and everyone else gets the boring normal halo???????? Have y'all ever had a really good oc??? The best ocs get put into the fuckin WORST situations bc that one's interesting enough to make the situation worth it
#gege akutami#like literally badfling to me that 30 chapters after gojo dies he's still getting panels in the story#and he still gets illustrations left and right where I haven't seen like hanami in fuckin AGES#and y'all still out here saying with your whole entire chests that gege hates gojo????????#THE GOJO THAT'S A LITERAL PILLAR OF THE THEMES IN THIS STORY???????#THAT GOJO SATORU??????#also jjk is a tragedy it would be fucking UNFAIR to exclude one of the best characters from the tragic themes#like he got to fulfil his role in the story so fucking well there's a gaping hole left in the story now and that's bc gege likes writing hi#otherwise he wouldn't be that significant of a character#gege would give that weight to someone else that he liked writing for better#gojo is the way he is bc he is a character that is LOVED#sorry I just have a lot of thoughts#also it says a lot about some of y'all's reading comprehension that bad things happening=author hating character#gege said he likes nanami but I haven't seen HIM brought up with that much significance a lot recently#like no gege likes gojo y'all just can't handle a tragedy being tragic on your blorbos
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ZACH TAYLOR x MODERN BASEBALL on JOSH TEMPLETON and ALLISON BANNISTER
[ BROKEN CASH MACHINE | ROCK BOTTOM | THE OLD GOSPEL CHOIR | THE WEEKEND | ALPHA KAPPA FALL OF TROY THE MOVIE PART DEUX (2 DISC DIRECTOR'S CUT) | EVERYDAY | HOURS OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW | NOTES | I THINK YOU WERE IN MY PROFILE PICTURE ONCE | HOME | REVENGE OF THE NAMELESS RANGER | INTERSECTION ]
#super dark times#sdt#zach taylor#josh templeton#allison bannister#sam edits#the number of songs and gifs don't line up bc i used multiple bits of a few of the songs (bcm rock bottom & revenge of the nameless ranger)#anyways was having a 'listen to mobo's dicsography' day + some lines stood out... idk if this is comprehensible to anyone else but oh well#zach is simply sooo mobo coded To Me </3 originally i was gonna do 'zach & josh' and 'zach & allison' as separate sets but i kinda liked#the combo... it's all so twisted up together man!!!! everything happening with josh/the daryl situation being this Thing that blocks#zach from feeling able to pursue her and all (as most clearly laid out during the sex dream where the sword & josh loom over them lol)#oh and if its unclear: pink = zach (bc his cast <3) orange = josh (bc his coat) yellow = allison (bc her sunflower shirt & her daisy shirt)#(even tho those aren't pictured here. those are the costuming things tht stick with me for her)#also sorry this is LONG but i simply have. lots of thoughts. believe it or not this is the pared down version i originally had even MORE
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love to see “theon isn’t on a redemption arc” takes bc “what has he done to be better” firstly bc it massively undersells the way he helps jeyne & his dwelling on the miller’s wife & her boys, kyra, and the people of Winterfell throughout adwd but secondly it’s just a very funny criticism bc we’ve still got at minimum two thousand pages left in this series, of COURSE he hasn’t fully redeemed himself yet, there’s like a third of the story yet to go!
#i was trying to look for kyra stuff and i got mad again omg#the theon tag really is a hellish place of absolutely no reading comprehension#also people love to be like ‘well he helped rape jeyne’ no he did not you fucking idiot#getting on my soap box#once again i’m trying to keep my haterism on the dl i’m sure it’s annoying to see all the time#but the takes…..seven hells the takes……..#best theon take is ‘anyone who ships him w literally anyone is thinking of show theon and not book theon’ ding dong u r wrong!!!!!#lemme stop there before i start REALLY going about theon being de-masculinized by fandom aksjdjd
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one aspect that always fascinates me about the witch cult is how much they are used-to-be humans-but-now-not-really-are. they were just people who sometimes were good in the way people are and sometimes were bad in the way people are. and then their lifes had been altered by powers so fundamentally that they just. lost touch with any humanity that they had. how do you comprehend being a hundreds years old? how do you comprehend being able to kill a human as simply as a mosquito? how do you comprehend being beyond time, beyond aging, beyond life and death, beyond your own body, beyond your own memories? it's a horror scenario accepted willingly, horror where instead of running from monster you shake its hand and convince yourself that that's all you ever wanted, because the alternative? the alternative is the existence so miserable you'd rather die than go back. the existence that may ask you to take responsibility for your actions, navigate your own life, change who you are as a person.
they cannot do that. they never could do that. they live for years and years, having powers to do literally anything and yet led by instructions in the book, further and further conservating in the state they were from a start, the moment they took a deal.
doomed from the beginning. never having a chance to escape. never wanting to escape, instead allowing your humanity to slowly seep away as a price for not bearing the weight of that it means to be human. damn.
#re zero#sorry for being barely comprehensible myself i just think about this. a lot.#like the sheer fact that all of them lived either literally or technically (lye) for thousands years#and yet they still hold grudges for stuff that happened lifetimes ago#never progressing never changing despite the fact that their whole life is now technically about Progression To The Goal#to do more work! (nobody except petelgeuse actually cares about the cult goals on the personal level)#to collect more names! (there are never gonna be enough names) to collect more wives! (same thing here)#to be loved by someone who could never love you back because he stucks in his own role and unreachable goal#to be loved by everybody even though you are completely disgusting by your own volition#none of this matters but hey if you convince yourself that it does it doesn't suck so bad!#and if you admit that it doesn't then the only option is to ask yourself what am i doing here actually! and you not gonna love the answer!#well i sure am talking A LOT about them. sorry.#also that's the part where i'm slowly pointing at regurein- [I'm shot at the back of the head]#[my bloodied hand still draws “I'm a monster who hunts monsters” in sand tho]
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interview went well i'd say. got jumpscared with one of those listening tests which i always hated bc they're too slow and boring. also they asked to us (it was me and a guy) to write a little essay and said "don't worry about theme, most people talk about teaching and stuff" well too bad you get a brief overview of lesbian vampire movies
#it was just like. locked and loaded.#uh yeah reading comprehension obv in the bag too#and i think i spoke pretty well too. weird part of being a group interview is comparing yourself#and i def did better than him. no shade.
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