#Clone Trooper Hardcase Headcanon

[coffeeandbatboys]

The Clones reacting to you smushing their cheeks

Idk I had this idea and thought it’d be cute. Since the clones are supposed to have round cheeks, visualize live action and not animated 😂

Warnings: none, just fluff.

Fives, Wrecker, Hardcase, & Tup: Loving it so much, will lean into your hands and give you heart eyes. Maybe even press a few kisses to your hand.

Cody, Jesse, Kix, Echo, Vaughn & Mayday: Will blush profusely and look side to side for a second, before giving in and flashing you a tiny smile.

Rex, Hunter, Tech, & Fox: Not sure what to do, just give an awkward smile and internally scream because they secretly find it super cute.

Crosshair, Wolffe & Dogma: Not understanding any of it. Don’t know what you’re doing, not sure that they like it, 3/10 do not recommend.

[replaytech]

fives: *excited* hardcase, jesse & I have a joke for you

hardcase: i’m ready

fives: the council finally found out who’s been committing crimes, but it was a tough case to crack

jesse: *face palms*

hardcase: i don’t get it

jesse: HARDcase to crack, fives, we went over this A HUNDRED TIMES

[kyasarinkishinuma]

Hugging the clones for comfort headcanons: The 501st

(With a hint of gray and orange ;) )

Captain Rex

The first time you hug him, he doesn't know what's happening, so it's like hugging a plank 💀

However once you explain to him what you're doing he relaxes into it and starts hugging you back, albeitly hesitantly.

It'll take a couple tries for him to get comfortable with it, but he's holding     you gently and providing you with the comfort you need before you know it!

Once he's used to it, whenever you come and hug him without a word he'll stop everything he's doing to hold you until you feel better.

He's a big fan of forehead kisses, it makes him feel tall :')

Fives

This man is a cuddle bug, once you're hugged him you're done for.

Fives is down for hugs anytime, anywhere. He's not really afraid of PDA, whether it's romantic or platonic. He wants to be able to help in whichever way he can, so bad jokes usually come with the hug.

He's so touch-deprived please hold him it makes him so happy

Once he's comfortable enough he'll start initiating the hugs, he likes to sneak up on you from behind and surprise you with a sneak hug >:D

He's quite a cuddle bug during movies on a couch beneath a blanket with a bowl of popcorn, movie nights are definitely the best with this guy!

Echo

Echo can be a bit shy, so the first time you hug him his face is definitely     lighting up like fireworks!

After you pull back he'll just stare in disbelief and ask you, what was that? Once you explain it to him however he calms down and understands a lot better.

Echo is the kind of guy who will guide you through things if you're in need of comfort. He'll pat your back and talk to you gently, asking you if you're    all right. He's the best person to go to if you need to calm down.

Even if he gets used to it Echo blushes a bit everytime you hug him, not being used to this kind of touch. It's actually pretty cute :')

With time he'll relax into the hug and hold you gently in his arms, against his chest so you can feel safe and comforted. He'll lean his chin on top of  your head sometimes, wrapping you in his body.

Jesse

Jesse is one of the guys who's coolest with the whole 'hug out of nowhere' thing, freezing at first before he just quirks a brow and chuckles at you.

He'll joke at first to wave off his surprise, but then get more serious and hold you gently as he asks you if you're all right.

Jesse is a pretty good listener, so he can offer an ear for you or just stand  there and hug in silence if that's what you need. He's also always got a     joke up his sleeve should you need it.

You can honestly walk up to Jesse anytime for a hug, he'll always be happy to hug it out, even in front of his brothers. Although he may brag about it to them

He's a big fan of holding you in his lap as he hugs you against his chest.

Hardcase

We all know Hardcase can never sit still, but when you hug him? Not one movement from him. It's like a puppy standing at attention after seeing a squirrel.

He'll fumble with his words a bit as he tries to comprehend what's happening, but if you're able to soothe him or ask him to just hold you for a minute he'll go quiet and hug you as long as he needs.

If you hug him too long he'll start fidgetting because of his hyperactivity,     which is always a good way to get a laugh out of you. If you call him out     about it he'll become flustered and frustrated that he can't keep still.

Hardcase's hugs are warm and tight. He's surprisingly okay with touch, and his hugs are some of the most satisfying you can get.

The best way to get him to stop fidgetting around is to surprise him with a  kiss on the cheek ;)

Kix

As a medic, Kix has the care and well-being of others at heart. So if you come to him for a hug seeking comfort, even if he's not familiar with these... methods, he'll be happy to oblige.

Kix is someone you can come back to for hugs whenever you need them. He'll hold you silently as you calm down before asking you what happened.

His patience shows in his hug, as he'll hold you gently and won't pull you  back until you do or ask him to. There's no rush in his movements, and he commits his full attention to you as long as you need.

At the end of the hug, Kix will give you things like meds or sweets, whatever you need to be feel better.

After some time your hugs grow off him and he starts asking you for them as well! It helps with the stress from his job as a medic. He loves it when    you hide your face in his shoulder and he can tuck a hand behind your head and stroke your hair.

Tup

Along with Rex, Tup is definitely one of the more awkward clones from the 501st with hugs. He'll just freeze and stand there as you hug him, heart     pounding in his chest.

He'll definitely need explanations to understand what happened, but once he does he's surprisingly kind and understanding about it. Although he's a bit awkward with the gesture, he'll never deny you and will pat your back    until you calm down.

Tup is the kind of guy who'll stick around with you after the hug to make sure you're all right. He's quite caring in that quiet way of his, his eyes     holding worry even when you reassure him you're fine.

Tup is more than happy to go to a coffee shop or park with you afterwards! Although he may not say it out loud he enjoys spending time with you outside a military context and in these moments he'll open up to you a bit more.

He secretly loves it when you lean his head on his shoulder :')

Commander Cody

Being a commander, Cody has experience with people dealing with stress and even breakdowns, so he's not exactly a stranger to comforting people.

Even if he is initially taken off-guard by your hug, he'll ease into it a lot     faster than you might expect and return the hug. "All right, all right. Easy there..."

He's calm and patient the entire time, easing you with soft words of     encouragement and holding you gently. He won't rush you, pulling back only once you've calmed down.

He'll sit down with you and talk once you're feeling better if you'd like. He's one of the most sympathetic and understanding clones in the lot when it     comes to this things, and there's no truly no shame to be felt about your     moment of vulnerability around Cody.

If hugging becomes a regular thing, you'll quickly notice he has a knack for securing his arms around your waists and hips ;)

Commander Wolffe

Wolffe may seem difficult to approach and like the last person who would return a hug, but... Well. You're in for one hell of a surprise.

He'll grumble about it at first, but it doesn't take long before he wraps an     arms around you and holds you against his side, glaring at your     surroundings protectively (which effectively scares most living beings in     the proximity away).

Although he may come off as grumpy about it, Wolffe does ask if you're doing okay and will demand you come back to him if something ever happens. He's pretty protective like that!

It doesn't take you long to realize that the grumbling is actually all a     cover-up to hide the fact that Wolffe is a huge cuddle bug.

When it's just the two of you off-duty he can't keep his hands off you and wraps around you like a cocoon. If you poke at him too much about it he'll just grumble and hide his face in your hair :')

Hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know which headcanon was your favourite 💖

[trylynarie]

Hardcase: bro

Jesse: what bro?

Hardcase: Dooku is a vampire

Jesse: how?

Hardcase: THINK!!! Count Dooku…

Jesse: 👁️👄👁️ Count Dracula 🧛‍♂️

Rex on their next mission: can someone please explain why you are all wearing garlic?

Kix: simple safety precaution, Sir.

[darth-kote]

Fives headcanons Pt. 1

Makes a point of learning how to say simple phrases in a few different languages native to the places he visits as a soldier. He finds that the native civilizations usually take more kindly to someone who isn't barking at them in a foreign, confusing tongue. "Hello," "thank you," and "we are here to offer help," are a few he tries to memorize as they travel through hyperspace. Fives isn't motivated by anything other than making the civilians more comfortable... But when he's given fruit or flowers as thanks for his friendliness, he makes sure his brothers get a clear view of the gifts. "See, diplomacy does pay off, Hardcase." (He receives a scoff and an envious glares in return.)

Back on Kamino, Shaak Ti had instilled in him that his brothers were there for him, and he had a duty to reciprocate that. As time went, it became less his duty and more his heart's desire. It made him feel nauseous when he heard a raucous laugh fall from Echo's or Kix's lips, mostly because it was his own laughter amplified and externally sourced. He remembers the first time going to 79s with some of the 501st, not long after Rishi Moon; Rex had introduced him to some of his men, and it had been one of the first times since he'd been on Kamino that he'd felt completely safe. Looking around, it was rare to meet eyes with anyone's who weren't his own, and kriff, the laughter. It had filled him with such a sense of belonging that he'd had to go cry in the fresher, just for a moment. When he'd returned to the group, Echo had given him a knowing look – eyes gentle as always, the inkling of a smile on his lips; he'd felt it too. After everything with Domino Squad, Fives was reluctant to build from the rubble of his past, but he found it was more agonizing to cut himself off from their unconditional love.

Fascinated by braids. The first time he saw them, ever, was on a desert planet they had been stationed on for months during the war. This planet couldn't have been further from his water-covered homeworld, the people included. Their complexions ranged from a deep-copper red to a blue that was nearly purple in hue, and their hair was sculpted into intricate braids that he never stopped admiring for as long as they were there. After several weeks of hesitating, he finally asked if he could learn the community's art form. He had been afraid of rejection, and bade his breath as he awaited the Elderwoman's decision whether or not to let this strange man into their traditions. He knew this was something the people of this world held dearly, and he was prepared to take no as his answer. Watching would suffice. However, when the Elderwoman sent for himself and Tup, he allowed himself some hope. Entering her clay fortress had been even more wonderful than he'd imagined; breads and meat were offered to them, and Tup, for once, could admit that Fives was quite the diplomat. Meeting the Elderwoman face-to-face was comparable, he felt, to being in the presence of Shaak Ti – she was a master with plenty to teach to those she deemed worthy of the knowledge. Her hair had been down, rather than up in one of the various styles he'd seen her wearing from afar; the texture of her hair created a halo around her, and Fives had been in utter awe. He and Tup had been instructed to sit and watch as the Elder's handmaidens wove her hair, slowly, carefully, into the desired shapes and patterns. Although they were not allowed to touch, Fives learned through observation how these sculptures that had caught his eye since the beginning were created. As they'd watched, he practically begged Tup to take his hair down so that he might practice a simpler technique they were being shown, and Tup would never admit that he'd dozed off several times under his brother's diligent touch.

As much as he enjoys making his brothers a little jealous, Fives is such a softy for each and every one of them. He will go off and pick flowers for them, and he'll make sure to weave a crown or necklace for Rex to wear. I can imagine them all sweeping through a field of tall grass, and Fives is in the middle of everything.. collecting flowers for his brothers to wear and smell. They'd all have their favorite spot in their armor for their flower to be kept, of course.

[dystopicjumpsuit]

I'm stuck with a tedious and mindless task at work, which gives my brain plenty of opportunity to rot about clones. Specifically, about Hardcase and Fox.

They both have stocking kinks.

It's true. They told me themselves.

Hardcase likes to rip them, and you can bet he's keeping them as a trophy at the end of the night. No official word on what he does with them afterward, but rumors abound.

Fox? He brings you the expensive shimmersilk ones as gifts, and you know better than to ask where he got them. Or at least, you would, if you could think while he has your legs wrapped around his head as he— *blaster shot*

[1-800-crscnt]

-hcs for food/drink preferences that I think some clones would have, more under the cut-

Cody: likes neat-ish breakfast foods that have a bunch of flavor, but can be eaten quickly. doesn’t really have drink preferences, but first choice is always ice cold water with a little mint leaf in it. doesn’t hate any food/drink at all, but dislikes cleaning up after eating messy food (think of those very tall sandwiches that have the ingredients spilling out while covered in a sauce).

Wolffe: Big meal + with a snack guy. Has a more intense sweet tooth than expected of a clone, so he likes to pair a sweet snack with whatever he’s eating if he’s able. Hates most seafoods and liquid-y foods, but likes most other things. Doesn’t like to drink water so he either mixes syrups in or deals with it. Usually goes for very doctored-up caf, but his men are too intimidated to tease him for it.

Dogma: prefers non-spicy meaty foods no matter the size, but he ends up usually going for things he can eat in <15 minutes. Forcing himself to like vegetables for several reasons, but it isn’t going that well. Dislikes too-sweet things because of a fear of cavities and the burning/“full” feeling his mouth and throat gets. Denies having a drink preference at all, but he prefers just plain milk.

Rex: LOVES stews and salads and doesn’t care about anything else the entire time he’s eating. would love to have them for every meal if he could. Likes energy drinks and fruit smoothies even if he hates most sweet foods/drinks (gets made fun of for this by brothers and Ahsoka). also, not a messy eater but a loud eater, doesn’t care if it’s annoying.

Fox: despite being near so much food and eating a large variety of it, never actually developed a preference for particular kinds because he doesn’t feel hunger and everything is just “fuel” to him. Does prefer protein shakes and energy drinks, but can’t stand caf (smell is too strong for him, but will drink it if there’s nothing else). sometimes considers faking having generic preferences so his men stop trying to trick him into eating inedible things.

Stone: loves spicy & greasy foods, but is overall very adventurous when it comes to food, will try anything at least once. likes fruit juices and most alcoholic drinks, but won’t make efforts to get the latter since he’s usually very busy. genuinely hates bland food/drinks and won’t finish them, leads to some arguments/teasing/dares with others. has a citrus allergy but assumes it’s just a thing everyone goes through.

Bly: actually loves seafood prepared in any way (including raw), won’t eat any other meat dishes though. Likes any tea, hot water, and milkshakes. dislikes alcohol & caf + their smell and will sneer / walk away if someone is drinking it near him. wouldn’t consider himself vegetarian, but nearly everyone else does. also, hates being watched and talked to while eating, and gets angry/uncomfortable if he’s the only one eating in a group.

[kayberrie]

SW Headcannons

The first time Rex has real, good coffee, he starts crying (happy tears). All the coffee on the ship slowly starts disappearing, and the next day Ahsoka finds him in a storage closet, surrounded by a mountain of coffee rations. She promises not to tell, as long as he shares. They make a pinky-promise on it (because that is totally something the clones would do, no I am not taking questions).

The first close call, though, came when Cody was making a routine inspection on the ship. He passed right by, but with his mom-friend powers he 'sensed' something wrong with one of the storage spaces. Rex has to subtly comm Ahsoka, who's busy with Jedi stuff. He must use the last resort. Fives answers immediately, and doesn't question why his captain wants him to blow something up. It works, and Cody bolts out to find out where the fire came from.

Unfortunately, though, Fives gets curious, and the secret eventually spreads to the entire 501st. Most of them find it amusing, but don't particularly care. But there's a few, like Jesse and Hardcase, who take it to heart. Other battalions begin to notice their coffee rations are disappearing. Nobody ever catches the 501st, because although they're often a hot mess, those boys are terrifying when united for a cause.

Soon, the 501st has turned into an unstoppable menace due to the unhealthy amount of caffeine they're drinking.

The one brother who can never know, though, is Kix. The vod even have to avoid drinking too much before their check-ins, as he might get suspicious about the crazy amounts of caffeine in their bodies. Despite their terrible lying skills, he never finds out. He might even steal from the stash on particularly late shifts (they'll never ask, because Kix is scary. Don't mess with the medic).

They're so overcaffinated that nobody questions it when Fives and Ahsoka disappear for a few days, and Palpatine mysteriously dies. Everybody lives happily ever after, and Senator Amidala makes sure that the clones all get extra coffee rations (Ahsoka too, because she couldn't escape her crazy brother's antics).

[leenathegreengirl]

Day 7 - Hardcase (NSFW)

Hardcase is undoubtedly one of the funniest, most light-hearted people I know. His sense of humor is infectious, and he brings a sense of joy wherever he goes. But what happens when the trooper known for his wit and charm is faced with a moment that calls for genuine emotional reflection? Will he continue to deflect with humor, or will he offer a shoulder to the brother in need? Perhaps it’s his unique temperament that might be exactly what’s needed in that moment.

Warnings: Mild NSFW. Mentions of anatomy… 

(Ao3 link HERE if you prefer that formatting!)

Event Masterlist

(As always, HUGE heartfelt thank you my very dear friend and creative partner @legacygirlingreen for making this event possible! She is the beautiful mind behind ALL the writing, design layout, post editing and song selections!)

💚Tag List💚

@legacygirlingreen @thora-sniper @thecoffeelorian @neyswxrld @somewhere-on-kamino @clonethirstingisreal @royallykt @morerandombullshit @burningfieldof-clover @tbnrpotato @keantha @returnofthepineapple @justanotherdikutsimp @antisocial-mariposa @techs-stitches @resistantecho @kimiheartblade @dezgate @sunshinesdaydream

[brightsunsmeanshello]

Hardcase: I have a solution!

Jesse: Oh, thank goodness.

Hardcase: It involves fire-

Kix: Absolutely not.

[coffeeandbatboys]

501st boys reacting to Fem!reader being drunk part 1 of ?

I'm sure @moonlightwarriorqueen and @sunshinesdaydream will recognize a lot that's going on here because this was actually Moonlight's idea, and we all kind of built on it so. Here ya go.

warnings: drunk reader. Fluff.

Fives:

Fives is just as drunk as you are.

You both end up at home from separate events, each of you dropped off by a considerably more sober friend.

He's happy to see you though and wants all of the cuddles.

You're watching some shitty night show on the holo and laughing at the worst jokes that Fives has ever heard.

After a few minutes of shifting around, the two of you fall asleep as a properly tangled mess of limbs on the couch.

And that's exactly how it is when you both wake up with a hell of a hangover.

Hardcase:

You had sent a message to Hardcase asking for him to "buy some motherfuckin' limes, baby. Love you bunches!"

So he kind of has his suspicions before he walks through the door.

“‘CASE!” you screech, barreling at him, and nearly falling on your face

“C’mon Mesh’la.” He laughs, catching you in his arms and kissing your temple. “Why don’t we get you to bed.”

You light up at the prospect of going to bed with him.

However you end up passing out as soon as you lay down, cuddled against his chest.

Rex:

He’s…he’s really not sure what to do with the situation

One minute you’re giggling and draped all over him as he walks in

Then, in a somewhat stern voice he asks what’s going on and the giggling stops

Your lip quivers and tears gather in your eyes as you shrink away, and he instantly regrets it, realizing that you’re most likely tipsy.

“No, no Mesh’la, I’m not mad, I’m sorry”

Forehead kisses

He makes up for it with a little bit of ice cream and cuddles for the rest of the night

[servethelight]

Shit I’ve noticed during my clone wars rewatch and my interpretation (very Obi-Wan focused because he’s my favorite character lmao):

(Includes spoilers obviously)

+ I love this show to bits, but it has horrible issues with consistency. Every other episode there is a new weapon or something introduced and we’ll never see it again. This is very prevalent in especially the first seasons.

+ Obi-Wan is such a fucking enabler. Like he tells Anakin his plans are stupid at least twice during the Malevolence episodes, but then joins him on all of those. It’s literally like: “Anakin this plan is reckless and won’t work, anyways what’s my part in your plan?”

+ Rex running into that metal pipe. I forgot about that and laughed for 20 minutes straight.

+ Anakin pulls a “Are ya winning son?” on Obi-Wan about Ahsoka.

+ I once saw a post that it isn’t confirmed that Obi-Wan and Cody are friends, but you have Obi-Wan literally marveling on how competent the commander is and Cody always going the extra mile to save his general’s ass. To me that’s pretty much a friendship.

+ The Jedi are in general very gentle, but quite touchy. They might not go for hugs, but there is always someone touching someone’s shoulder or waist. And they’re just so fucking kind. I don’t think I ever noticed that as a kid, but they’re so respectful about life and culture and always helping someone. I just love them so much.

+ And I love the understanding and kindness the clones have. They’re soldiers and programmed to kill, but they’re also good people in most cases. I just wanna hug most of them.

+ My mother told me I cried as a child during the episodes with the Zillo beast. Well, I didn’t cry again, but I’m still so fucking mad at Palpatine for putting that poor creature in that position. If he just had listened to Mace Windu (more of the characters should actually, just saying) that poor animal wouldn’t have killed people and found its end like that.

+ Mortis is quite hated by the fandom but for me it’s a defining showcase of Obi-Wan’s, Anakin’s and Ahsoka’s relationship. I’ve seen people in the fandom saying that Anakin would’ve turned out differently if Obi-Wan would’ve told him he’s proud and took care of his feelings. This episodes literally show that he does exactly that and Anakin still doesn’t give a shit.

+ Anakin tells the son in his dream, that he’ll never come to the dark side willingly. Only to walk over to the literal manifestation of the dark side like 10 minutes later to save Ashoka. I came to the conclusion that the only way to tempt him was by promising to save his loved ones. I still think it was a really awful and greedy thing to become Vader for that, but I must admit it’s a noble character trait to put others first.

+ Kit Fisto doesn’t have nipples. Therefore I’ve concluded he’s isn’t a mammal and hatched from an egg like Nemo the clownfish. (And no, that isn’t a animation thing, Rex does have nipples when his shirt is off).

+ The discussion with my gf about Kit Fisto nipples and Star Wars biology also touched the topic of “how does Maul use the bathroom”. My conclusion is: he has a stoma, because the lower abdomen, where that would be, is always covered.

+ Hardcase mentions he is hyperactive. I now see him as my favorite ADHD clone, because having ADHD myself I can fucking relate.

+ I forgot Waxer died on Umbara and bawled my eyes out. Waxer is one my favorite clones and when he cried while dying I just couldn’t take it.

+ My friend spent the entire Umbara arc just simping for the clones (mostly Jesse), while I was suffering. So maybe they look hot or something for people attracted to men in this episodes.

+ In the episode after the Umbara the duo usually consisting of Waxer and Boil is sent out, but this time it’s just Boil and I was about to bawl again.

+ For being called “the negotiator” Obi-Wan gets his ass beat quite a lot after his “negotiations” (aggressive flirting).

+ While I’ll never forgive Obi-Wan for doing that Raako Hardeen shit, I nearly pissed myself when the Ziro the Hutt’s ex gf is flirting with not one but two women there. Like I didn’t expect her to be the fucking gay rep in clone wars.

+ I’m seriously never forgiving Obi-Wan for that. I can’t get over Ahsoka’s tear filled eyes while she’s holding his corpse. Also she doesn’t seem angry like Anakin just massively sad and disappointed after it is revealed that he’s still alive. Personally I believe she’s starting to doubt the order here.

+ Point three on hating on my favorite character for that shit, I feel like Anakin becomes quieter and less playful after that disaster.

+ Maul is me. He’s obsessed with Obi-Wan and mentions that he has massive problems what is going on inside his head. As a mentally ill person, that makes me feel really seen lmao.

+ The underwater episodes and the ones with Ventress on that train were just the most beautiful worlds I’ve ever seen. Like the planets in general are so beautifully designed in clone wars, I’m so in love.

+ Motherfucking “I said fuck the council and became a child soldier for a rebellion at 13” Obi-Wan Kenobi seems very reluctant on doing it again. There are two entire arcs of him disagreeing on helping rebels. First I didn’t understand, because like dude you literally did this before, but since he talks about his worries about bringing the separatists in or worsen the situation, I think the poor man is just a little bit traumatized.

+ After the events of Onderon I’m pretty sure Ashoka is already filled with doubts about the order, the republic and the war. I also feel like she’s feeling massively led down by Obi-Wan again, which broke my heart because I love their relationship.

+ I just realized he fails Ahsoka a third time, when she is captured by Hondo and Obi-Wan is supposed to help her. Instead he gets attacked by Grievous and is forced to postpone the helping them until they help themselves. I mean it’s not his fault but in Ahsoka’s place that wouldn’t feel good to me.

+ This particular fight with Grievous ignited my love for Obi-Wan again. Before he attacks Grievous he helps an injured clone and when he goes into the fight, Grievous directly kills a clone. Instead of his usual witty remarks, he just goes: “you’re gonna regret that” and jumps Grievous. He just loves his clones as much as I do.

+ One of the most beautiful shots in the entire series for me is in the episode before the droids find Gregor. This WAC droid looks into the desert and it reflects in his eye. Because of the cracks in the desert ground it looks almost like a retina. Beautiful metaphor of combining something artificial and metallic with an organic and almost human part. This was such a fucking raw shot for me, it took my breath away.

+ Tarkin is an asshole, but he’s climbed the asshole latter so hard after he has been mean to Plo Koon.

+ Shotout to Obi-Wan for convincing the order to let Anakin go after Ahsoka. Additionally the whole time he acts in her support only to be shut down by the council. I didn’t remember him doing that so I was surprised.

+ Fives tells the plot with the inhibitor chips to a cab driver. Do you think the cap driver ever thinks back after the war and is like: “Fuuuuuuck”?

+ I kid you not, the clone bar has gender neutral bathrooms (and no, it’s not bc the clones are all male, in the bar are also women). The bathroom are just decided by humans, hutts and a third species I cannot quite recognize.

+ I forgot Teckla gets shot, NOOOOOOO

+ I always say clone wars anakin is better, but Jesus stop acting like a jealous bitch. Padmè deserves an award for putting up with his bullshit. Obi-Wan too. He even tries to give him reassurance by telling him that feelings are not forbidden and Anakin just bitches at him.

+ Obi-Wan casually passing on babysitting duty for Jar Jar fucking killed me (and yes, taking care of Jar Jar is babysitting duty).

+ Never in a million years I would have thought to see Jar Jar admitting to fucking this queen, but here we have him saying he was making love to her last night. Imma set myself on fire and I believe Windu will join me.

+ You could also call the clone wars the exposition wars. Every episode has their one minute exposition in the beginning, but I feel like a lot of the dialogue is used for exposition.

+ Obi-Wan doesn’t learn shit. That man got drugged by Hondo, but yet still accepts drinks from the Pykes. MY BROTHER IN CHRIST PLEASE DONT

+ I AN GOING TO SCREAM. You have been informed that the Clones have a behavior influencing chip in their brains and then you find out Dooku was behind the creation of the clones and no one connects the fucking dots. I love the Jedi, but goddamn are you all dense.

+ Do you think Hunter thought Rex was screwing his general? Because their conversation sounded kinda suggestive and then they trail off to do something secret.

+ Ahsoka going “my older brother thought me”after kicking a guy where it hurts most. I now imagine Anakin going to Ahsoka as soon she got to be his padawan: “Listen up Snips, if you ever facing a creepy guy, you kick them right there”

+ When the sisters make their escape I don’t get why they don’t let Ahsoka fly. She’s clearly the more capable pilot.

+ Controversial opinion: I have a strong dislike for Bo Katan. She’s a fucking terrorist who doesn’t betray the deathwatch when they murder an entire innocent village, no but when there’s Maul trying to take their authority. Says a lot about her character if you ask me.

+ I mcfucking cried when the clones painted their helmets according to Ahsoka’s face markings and my flatmates gf came in and asked me if everything’s alright. I am fucking embarrassing I have seen this scene three times already but I still bawl like a baby.

+ Also my dear Obi-Wan can you quit being an ass? A “hello Ahsoka, nice to see you” wouldn’t have killed you.

+ Through the whole show most of the characters seemed to appear increasingly tired towards the end. Especially Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, but other characters aswell. The only one who seems to stay energized is Anakin. He becomes more serious but I feel like he’s the only one at the end that is still going into battles with full energy. It almost felt like he’s especially thriving in a war scenario which is incredibly sad.

+ The beauty of that last scene with Vader is truly unparalleled. I don’t ever think a tv show can recreate that.

+ I still love this show to bits and I cried 5 times total during that rewatch, shit this was nice.

[clone-anon-after-dark]

Clones with an Asexual / Acespec Partner Headcanons

I’ve never written headcanons on here before, but thought I’d give it a go.

Word Count: 2915

Warning and Author’s Note: Some discussion of sex.  Some asexuals have sex.  Also mention of sex-repulsion because some asexuals do not ever want to have sex and both are fine and good.  There are a lot of asexuals who are interested in partnership - romantic or not - so I thought I might write out some ideas about what that might look like with some clones

Included are Hunter, Tech, Echo, Wrecker, Crosshair, Mayday, Rex, Cody, Gregor, Wolffe, Fox, Kix, Hardcase, Fives, Jesse, Dogma, and Tup

Hunter

Hunter loves a partner who is passionate and wants to do the right thing.  He would never be with someone who doesn’t also have the Omega stamp of approval.  Domestic Hunter? Yes.  He loves the steps you’ve taken to have a home that is friendly to his senses.  No strong scents in the soaps or detergents. Blackout curtains. Towels, blankets, and sheets that are friendly to his sense of touch.  You showed your love by making your home friendly for him and he has never been more in love.  Hunter pays attention to other people and takes care of his family, so he was incredibly moved by someone caring about his needs in this way.  Hunter will do little things around the house to show you he cares about you.  You’ll come home to clean dishes, a tidied bedroom, or freshly cleaned clothes.  Sex might be too much for his senses and sometimes touch is too much in and of itself, so he strongly believes in communicating what you both need.  He’s always open to finding ways to express how much you care for each other and creating a stronger partnership.

Tech

Tech is acespec in some way.  He might rarely or never experience sexual attraction.  This man expresses his love best in quality time and acts of service.  You will want for nothing.  He might be too busy to think about feeding himself, but he will have an alarm to remind himself to pick up some food and make sure you eat.  He’ll eat with you and want to hear about your day or tell you about what he’s working on.  Besides researching topics of interest and fixing things, he loves going to museums and aquariums with you, watching documentaries, and sitting together in the same room reading.  If you want cuddle time? He’s open to it.  You’ll have to tell him the details of how to hold you and what you want and eventually he will start figuring out what he likes too.  Tech is open to experiences, so if you want to have sex for closeness or to satisfy your libido, he would try it.  “Physical urges and attraction are not the same thing,” he says.  He’s always understanding that some people don’t or rarely feel sexual attraction and for him, it’s just a matter of fact.  It doesn’t change how he feels about you.  If you never want to have sex, he is completely fine with it.  He wants to tell you about his latest project working on the hyperdrive anyway.

Echo

Echo loves your desire to fight for what’s right.  He loves how you care about people and he feels so at home with you.  Echo doesn’t like solitude so the biggest thing is going to be spending time together.  He loves reading.  Sitting together, snuggling on the couch or in separate chairs and reading something that interests each of you? Yes.  Do you like hanging out with his family and have a good sense of humor? Those are big things in his book.  

I know there are some theories that Echo only lost part of his legs and other people believe he lost everything from the waist down (plus his arm). But guess what it doesn’t matter.  In either case, Echo wants to be loved for who he is.  He wants to love you for who you are.  What you both can or cannot do physically doesn’t phase him.

Crosshair

Crosshair is protective of his heart and does not easily open up to others. He does not like vulnerability and that also means he also doesn’t get sexually intimate easily.  I think he’s at least demiromantic, needing to know someone before opening himself up to a relationship like that, so he understands not having certain types of attraction.  He does like physical touch once you are close enough, but that can mean all kinds of things.  He likes little private moments with you where you can steal away time together.  If you want to blow off some sexy steam together, he’s game, but never pressuring.  It’s more about closeness and sharing something with you that no one else gets.  If you aren’t interested, he likes to cuddle.  Sometimes he wants to be the little spoon and other times he wants to be the big spoon but he would never want anyone to know he’s a cuddler.  After all he’s been through, Crosshair wants to feel safe with you and protect and love you at the same time.

Wrecker

Wrecker loves to show his love with physical affection.  He loves hugs and holding hands and picking you up and twirling you around.  As long as you are okay with some kind of physical touch, he’s more than happy.  He loves when you fall asleep on top of him.  He loves watching holos with you, eating snacks, and cuddling.  If you want to have some sexy times, he’s game, but ultimately doesn’t need that.  He wants someone he can have fun with!

Jesse

Jesse is so incredibly sweet. He loves cuddling and pulling you in close to sit on his thighs.  The first time he does this he can tell you’re a little worried (maybe that he will try to take things further), so he is very reassuring, showing you he just wants to be close.  He loves touch, but only if it’s something you like too.  He likes consistency and so his primary desire in a relationship is someone he can trust and depend on and he also wants to be that for the person he’s with.  He understands that just because you don’t feel sexual attraction doesn’t mean you don’t love him.  There’s a reason you want to share your life with him, after all.  He lets you take the lead when it comes to any kind of physical touch, including sex.  He’s a lot of fun in bed if you go down that road for closeness or address your physical needs.  Otherwise, he loves cuddling in bed. He is most comfortable spooning and having an arm around you in some way.

Hardcase

While I don’t necessarily get ace vibes from Hardcase, I think he would be great with an ace partner. Especially if they are extroverted.  A typical day would involve waking up, eating quickly, and some kind of adventure.  Whether it’s getting up to shenanigans at a water park, or playing paintball, or spending the day at work for you and at the barracks for him, I see him happy to be busy.  I think he would love to come home and eat some good food. He loves take out.  He quickly realizes that you not wanting sex sometimes doesn’t mean he can’t have self-care time on his own.  If you like the idea, he would love for you to buy him a sex toy.  He sees it as a way to stay connected on that level without making you uncomfortable, which is the last thing he wants.  He is very open to learning what it means to be asexual, and quickly learns that not having sexual attraction doesn’t mean you have zero sex drive.  He loves taking the time to learn what makes you feel good physically and where the boundaries are.

Tup

Tup is a sweetheart who loves quality time with his partner.  He would love to explore hobbies like video games, baking, cooking, or anything with animals.  Tup loves anything that is relaxing and he is for sure a cuddler.  If you aren’t into touch, he likes things like sharing a blanket while sitting together or finding a happy middle ground like maybe holding your hand or sharing clothes.  If you want to satisfy your own urges together, Tup is absolutely up for it.  He thinks you’re incredibly sexy and gorgeous and likes to take his time and make you feel good.  

Dogma

Oh sweet Dogma.  This man loves rules and boundaries.  He loves knowing what is on and off limits because it makes him feel safe and secure.  He also feels loved when you want to know his own boundaries.  It shows him you care.  So Dogma doesn’t really care about what the actual boundaries are so long as he knows them.  He is quite nervous to initiate physical contact, even kissing, but he does say when he would like to try something.  He’s very communicative.  He does not mind if something is off limits. He just wants to show you love.  He takes up baking, loving the precision of measuring the ingredients, so you can expect treats every time he sees you.  When it comes to intimate relationships, Dogma knows there are many different ways to be intimate.  He wants to be understood and show you that you’re the one who has his heart.

Fives

Fives loves a good time.  It was something that drew you in from the beginning.  When he first asked you out, you couldn’t deny he had some kind of magnetism.  He was a total goofball.  He knew about your asexuality before you started dating. You might have been a bit surprised when he asked you out, but couldn’t say no.  Fives tells you right away that you can take the lead on anything physical.  He likes kissing, but especially loves hugs.  If you’re up for fooling around, he loves it. If you never want that, he understands.  He just wants to be with you.  It takes him a long time to admit that he would absolutely love to shower with you.  A hot shower helps him relieve stress and he sees it as a way to spend some relaxing time with you, but he doesn’t want it to seem like he’s asking for more, so he might need some reassurance once he brings it up.  Ultimately though, he loves quality time together.  There will joking, laughter, and joy.  Fives is also a wonderful friend and partner who you can trust.  While you wouldn’t necessarily have taken Fives to be very serious, he’s incredibly serious about your happiness and making sure you have every little thing you want.  If you’re having a hard day, he listens and holds your hand.

Kix

Kix loves being your partner.  He loves the domesticity of coming home and snuggling on the couch.  He might love doing some other things on the couch if you want, but he understands if you don’t want to.  He loves laying on the couch while you lay on top of him and watch holomovies.  He loves little kisses and holding hands.  He loves reading in bed next to you before falling asleep.  He’s also seen a lot during the war and carries a lot of grief.  He trusts you with his grief and sometimes he just needs someone to cry to about it all.  If you like romance or are in more of a romantic mood, he will go all out.  Favorite flowers, candy, foods, whatever you love.  He takes the time to learn your favorites for those occasions. You want slow kisses next time he’s on leave? He won’t stop thinking about it.  You simply want to collapse into someone’s arms? He wants nothing more than to provide those arms for you.

Gregor

Gregor is open to learning about anything, but his favorite topic is you.  He loves going out with you, dancing, and laughing.  He loves a good time.  If you’re shy, he finds a way to help you come out of your shell around him a little without pressing the issue.  He wants you to feel secure with him.  Gregor loves kissing and wouldn’t mind getting physical and when he asks about your boundaries going further, your heart sinks. You’re worried about where this is going and haven’t exactly told him about your sexuality yet. You quickly find that he just wants to express how he feels.  He asks a lot of questions about what it means for you to be asexual.  He’s inquisitive.  If you don’t want to have sex ever, he takes the time to hear how close you want to be and what feels safe to you.  He’s definitely not opposed to things like masturbating together if you want to go down that route sometimes.  Ultimately he realizes that his favorite thing to do with you is turn on some music and dance in the living room.

Wolffe

There’s actually a fic about this here.  Wolffe might be grumpy sometimes, but you make his life so much better and you get to see softer sides of him that no one else does.  You understand him and he appreciates your support.  He wants you to feel loved in the way that you want to be loved.  He is completely comfortable taking care of his sexual needs on his own.  He loves snuggling with you at night.  That’s his favorite.  He loves holding you and being held by you.  You’re comforting to him.  Before falling asleep, he likes chatting with you about how the day went and or reading a holonovel together.  

Rex

Rex is awkward around people in social situations, but you’re happy to help him navigate relationships.  He doesn’t think much about sex because frankly, he’d just like to make it through this conversation without getting lost in his own worry.  Over time he starts to relax more and you find that quiet time with the two of you is much preferred to going out.  He’s even nervous to hold your hand, but you tell him it’s totally okay.  Once he realizes how deep his feelings are, he has to speak with you.  He likes to know where things are headed and what kind of relationship you want. Queerplatonic? He quite likes that.  Or something with more of a romantic bend? Yes, sure, that could also work just fine too.  The only thing he really doesn’t want is to be with someone purely for the physical aspects.  His feelings toward his partner are so strong and he wants nothing more than to protect you and let you know he’ll always be there for you.

Cody

Snuggle king.  He is under so much pressure as a marshal commander and then later after the war, he’s dealing with a lot of mixed feelings about everything that happened.  He loves that he can be with you, go to bed or lay on the couch, and hang on to you. He likes little kisses on the top of his head while you hold him.  It helps him let go of stress and worry.  He can feel you right there with him and it’s the safest place in the galaxy.  You’re asexual? Great.  He just wants to love you the way you want to be loved.  You want romance? He will hold your hand and kiss the back of it.  You want domestic partnership? He will hug you and do your laundry. Do you need some space to yourself? That’s fine.  He will just be over here watching a holo and napping after buying groceries so you don’t have to worry about it.  You want a quickie to blow off some steam? He’s game.  You want to shower naked and wash each other’s hair and feel close that way? He’s good with that too.  You want to swap pillowcases while he’s gone so you can both feel close that way instead? He thinks that’s the best thing he’s ever heard.

Mayday

Mayday wants to be with you, preferably on a planet that rarely gets snow.  You fell for his dry sense of humor and how much he cares about the people he’s close to.  He worries about losing more people in his life, so he was cautious to approach you.  Once he realizes you’re around to stay, he starts to relax. Mayday likes to do little things to show he cares.  He really gets into cooking hot meals.  He loves making fresh soups and gardening.  When he starts baking bread you swear you will never buy a loaf ever again.  After all he’s been through, he’s happy to have the chance to be with someone and feel at home.  Getting physical? He likes hugs, cuddles, and kisses if you’re okay with it.  Just chaste kisses or little pecks on the cheek all you want? Absolutely.  Whether he addresses his own sex drive on his own or as a mutual endeavor (if you’re open to it) doesn’t matter to him.  It takes him a long time to open up in some ways, but once he does he’s always making sure you’re on the same page.  He will always cautiously wait until he gets a green light.

Fox

He’s just happy to come over to your place and sleep in a real bed.  This man is all about relaxation when he’s with you.  Whatever that looks like, he loves it.  It can be the simplest things, like having extra comfortable shorts to wear around your apartment, or folding laundry together before putting fresh sheets on the bed.  He feels so comfortable with you and that’s the most important thing to him.

Tagging: @kixs-husband @staycalmandhugaclone @wreckers-wife @dukeoftheblackstar

[dystopicjumpsuit]

Headcanons: Watching a Scary Movie Holovid with Torrent Company

I got intense brainrot after seeing this adorable art from @lonewolflupe, and it’s been consuming me ever since. 

As a horror wimp, this is how I imagine things would go.

Jesse 

He’s the one who suggests horror night in the first place.

He is so enthusiastic about it that you don’t have the heart to turn him down.

He promises not to pick anything too scary.

He passes out fifteen minutes into the holovid (“Sorry, cyar’ika, it was leg day”).

You’re too scared to get up and turn it off, so you end up hiding behind him for the whole movie.

You have vowed revenge, but it’s been weeks, and you still haven’t figured out anything that he’s scared of. Kix knows, but refuses to tell you.

Hardcase

He wants to introduce you to the classics, so he picks Alien (1979). “It’s not scary, babe, I promise!”

LIES. IT IS SO SCARY. 

HOW CAN HE BE EATING POPCORN WHEN A KARKING CHESTBURSTER JUST KARKING CHESTBURSTED?!

Ripley kinda 👀

After the sixth jumpscare, your nerves get the best of you and you smack him with a pillow, which successfully instigates The Great Pillow War.

As hostilities escalate, you “accidentally” bump the remote and turn off the holo.

As per the terms of the ceasefire, Hardcase is contractually obligated to cuddle you all night so the facehuggers don’t get you.

Tup

Neither of you even want to watch a kriffing scary holo. Why are you doing this again? Because Hardcase convinced you it was a foundational piece of galactic pop culture, that’s why, Force damn him!

You don’t even make it ten minutes before Tup suggests switching to Hocus Pocus instead.

You have to pause mid-opening credits because you realize you can’t watch Hocus Pocus without eating a battalion’s worth of candy.

You both jump on the sofa to belt out “I Put a Spell On You.”

Twice.

You take a break to make popcorn because you forgot there were only three minutes of the holo left, so then you have to start Halloweentown while you finish eating. One thing leads to another, and you end up binging not-scary Halloween classics until 3 AM.

Dogma

He wants to do a comparative analysis of Nosferatu (1922) with Nosferatu (1979) in preparation for Nosferatu (2024).

He takes notes.

He points out every plot hole and inconsistency.

You’re pretty confident that you can handle the cheesy horror of 1922. You are unprepared for the emotional impact of the third act. 

Dogma puts down his datapad so he can give you a hug. When the holo ends, he makes a pot of tea and the pair of you spend the rest of the evening discussing the film. You never get around to watching 1979, but that’s okay, because you’re going to have another holo night next week. 

The next day, you receive a holomessage with his formal report on the plot, structure, music, and performances. There isn’t a single typo.

He suggests going out for dinner before your next holo night. He knows a great place in Little Mon Cala.

Bonus: Fives and Echo

Chaos in the mess hall.

You don’t even know what holovid they pick because they keep you laughing too hard to pay attention.

Something with werewolves and corsets, you think. Wait, is this just an early ‘00s gothic rock music holo?

Whatever, the night turns into a sugar-fueled impromptu pajama party anyway. Where did they even get nail polish?!

The twins are so loud that the rest of Torrent Company shows up to investigate and ends up crashing the party.

Rex walks in to get a cup of caf the next morning to find you all passed out and covered in candy corn. He turns around and leaves without saying a word. Plausible deniability is his middle name, and he already has enough flimsiwork without adding whatever the kriff just happened in the mess hall to the mix.

[paperback-rascal]

This illustration is tied to an idea I came up with @kalm5, after I binge watched videos about various vending machines.

The explanation of the premise is under the cut/read more!

Enjoy!

What if clones have only a set amount of meals per rotation? no snacks, no nothing - just the basic, the most effective meals evenly spread out throughout the day. It’s the only food they have. The only unlimited food item available to them without restriction is water... just plain water.

However, there are vending machines scattered throughout every Kamino training facility that can be used by clones for additional snacks (or even more “luxurious” items such as salt/sugar/spices, better grade chocolate, authentic caff/tea, weak beer/alcohol, etc.). The vending machines also have limits of items a clone can get per rotation to limit potential abuse of the system.

The availability of such items is depended on the status quo and performance score each clone has and develops over the years (the score is stored at the forearm chip, so to use a vending machine clones have to swipe their wrists against it’s panel) - the bigger the score the broader assortment of items are available.

Cadets get their points based on their exam scores, battle simulation statistics, etc.

The score clones got in their youth are later transferred as a base score at the beginning of their military career.

The success rate, performance on the field, getting medals, etc. is later added to it - raising it. It also can be lowered due to misdemeanors, refusal to carry on orders, breaking rules, etc.

Despite all CT-[numbers] clones having the same baseline of items available, there are variations or perks for each occupation: medics get different additional assortment of items than sappers, who have different perks than gunners, pilots and so on.

Maintenance staff has the same limitations as cadets. So 99 has the same level-access to goods as kids/teens, thus he can get like... Star Wars equivalent of stale salted crackers, granola bars and juice.

A major points boost is a promotion to higher military rank - especially to commanding position or high preference variants like ARCs or spec-ops (it unlocks more options)

The biggest availability, however, have CC-[numbers] clones.

Some of the perks are just simply locked behind a status quo. So even an perfect behavior and 100% success rate wouldn’t give a “plain” CT-number access to for example... alcoholic beverages - it’s only for CC-[numbers]. CC-[numbers] also can be locked out of certain perks if their score gets low enough.

The best example would be captain Rex who despite being a commanding officer can’t get the same items as his college, commander Cody. Due to Rex being a CT-number. So it’s always a bit awkward when he tags along with other commanding officers but he can get an energy drink or black coffee at best.

---

Funnily enough, of all software at Kamino, nothing is so well guarded as vending machines - it’s unhackable while the vending machines are borderline indestructible. It’s the most frequently updated/modified equipment due to clones always finding loopholes to cheat the system.

The origin of the vending machines was that Kaminoans tried to use the idea of conditioned response to encourage clones to train harder and be more obedient in the field - they hoped it would rewire clones brains, linking high performance with luxurious goods.

However what the long necks didn’t accounted for is that clones are well... humans and turned vending machines to social interaction that has an internal structure known only to clones. one of such interaction is that many clones with high performance score would often get items to those with lowered ones - especially at 501st where thinking outside the box is preferable military tactic by their general, thus many clones from 501st would end up with low performance score at Kamino framework despite being the most decorated of soldiers.

The same goes with Clone Force 99 who have 100% success rate, but also accumulated many misdemeanors and complaints.

===

STAR WARS: The Clone Wars/The Bad Batch © George Lucas/ Dave Filoni/ LucasFilm/ Disney