#Cicero's letters

[firnen-the-teragram-teabag]

Rest in peace Cicero you would've loved twitter

[balancethescales]

thinking about the specific moments where the berzatto family falls in love with sydney (because of course they do, everyone does).

for richie, it takes the end of the beef and right up till the opening of the bear to happen. he is full of contempt and grief when he meets her and all he knows is that when he looks at her face he is afraid. he doesn’t like that feeling. richie is not a man who finds himself fearful a lot, but she is everything he is not and nothing that he is and he hates himself for it. if she is what it means to be passionate, then what is he? is he nothing but an empty shell of mikey, stuck on earth to shake his fist at passing clouds, because how dare they move and continue on like mikey was nothing to them, as if he wasn’t the very point that the earth revolved around? everyone is leaving him behind, and she is proudly leading the pack. it’s not right. but then— he gets it. he talks to garrett and jess and chef terry and he sees sydney in every corner of that restaurant. the fear slowly is replaced with respect as the week goes on and he realizes that just because she’s good doesn’t mean she’s out to get him. that’s the berzatto upbringing in him doing the talking, but it doesn’t have to, because shes a berzatto now, maybe not officially (not yet, but mark his words, she will be) but she is, and that’s not how she does things. so, he lets her lead them into the future to something good and different and better.

for sugar, it’s instant. she was born to a mother who is triggered by her very existence, and it has hurt her all her life. she is full of love and the one person she wants to give it to the most doesn’t want any part of it. she was born to give but is surrounded by those who are afraid to even take it, to reach out their hand and meet her in the middle. and if they cant take then they themselves have nothing to give, so she gets used to being the one who has to force feed her love down their throats, because if no one does, if no one shows them that they are worthy of good things, then they will crumble (“if i just talked to him more—” “no, nat—” “if i had just—” “it’s not your fault, honey. it’s never been.”). but when she meets sydney, it’s like looking into a mirror. she sees her bright eyes and soft smiles and careful but strong hands and instantly recognizes her for what she is: a giver. and sugars heart swells with even more love than she thought possible, because finally, she’s not alone— there is someone else there to slowly, albeit subconsciously, take care of her crumbling family, to show them that despite what their mother may have taught them, its okay to not be okay (she tries her best not to cry when syd asks her if shes okay, but she does. and syd doesnt grab her face or yell at her or call her stupid. she makes her a meal. and sugar cries some more).

for cicero, the love isn’t instant, and it’s not even entirely love. she is strong and she is assertive, but that also makes her naive and a very expensive risk. she makes him curious for what’s to come, intrigued by the way she doesn’t back down from carmy whose voice so often mimics the berzattos that came before him (“you’re better than this, kid.” “i don’t know what i am.” “whatever it is, it’s not this.”). she's self assured and knows her place in the establishment and is unafraid to let people know it. it’s a refreshing change of pace from mikey, who often resorted to intimidation to get his way, or carmy, who’s anxiety envelopes him and distracts him from what’s right there in front of him. but she is not them. she is focused and on track and is willing to put in the work to get what she wants. he doesn’t visit the bear often, only drops by once in a while to deliver bad news or to fulfill a favour or to just enjoy some good food, but when he does, she is always there, dedicated to ensuring that carmy and michaels, and now, her dream stays alive. she is good for his family, and he trusts her to keep the berzatto spirit alive.

for michelle, it’s quite simple. she always looked out for carmy, their little bear, so when she meets her it’s a family thanksgiving party at the bear and syd stumbles out of the kitchen, obviously frazzled and a little sweaty (“carmy, im not ready, i didn’t even change yet and the turk—” “don’t worry, tina will take care of it, you look great, they’ll love you, they just really wanted to meet you—”), but she’s smiling. she’s a little awkward when she introduces herself, and michelle finds herself endeared by her nervous ramble (“it’s, uh, really nice to meet you guys. sorry, i didn’t know that i was going to be pulled out of the kitchen so soon. uh, im sydney. yeah, i guess carmy already told you guys, huh? um. im sorry, how are you related to the family again? i mean, i dont want to offend but it’s just. uh. well, you guys are just very... normal?”) and she’ll laugh and look at stanley and the two of them will think to themselves, good job carmy, she’s a good one, before telling syd something dumb and nonsensical about a genetic mutation and richie interrupts to tell michelle it’s not a genetic mutation it’s called being boring and syd will laugh and michelle will too, truly happy that their little bear found someone normal, a breath of fresh air within the smoke of their family.

for donna, it’s weird. it’s tense. they don’t meet for a long time. they don’t meet at the bear when it first opens and not at the bear even when it has found it’s footing, but by chance. they are somewhere mundane (a grocery store, a park, or maybe just the street) and there is no other family member around when syd meets the berzatto matriarch. she only knows what donna looks like from photos at sugars house because carmys apartment is devoid of any actual sentiment (although that has begun to change since she made him get an actual dresser and he dedicated one of the drawers to her stuff). she calls out to her by her name, and donna turns around startled. she doesn’t recognize syd, of course, who introduces herself and informs her of who she is to the family. when donna smiles it’s not a real one, and syd knows this, but it doesn’t deter her. she tells donna that her kids love her (“even after everything, nat?” “she’s our mother. its all that we can do.”) and that her kids are great (“carmy, you are not broken.” “im a little broken.” “no, listen to me, the fact that you are still here, means something. its something.”) and that there will always be a table for her at the bear (“chef, someones calling in for a reso for 1 but we’re all full up… except for—“ “yo, dont finish that sentence. table 7 for ms. berzatto is an indefinite booking. is that understood?” “yes, chef”). donnas smile fades and her chest fills with anger but just as she’s about to explode in typical berzatto fashion syd interrupts her. she has faced the bear many a time before and has handled herself with grace and dignity everytime, so this is no different. she smiles brightly and thanks donna for listening to her and hopes she considers coming in, because she’d really like to cook for her. she looks like she needs a good meal. she deserves one. she turns and walks away. donnas stomach growls. that night, table 7 is occupied for the first time since the bear opened its doors.

and carmy? well, there isn’t an exact moment. its a culmination of awkward partnership (“i don’t want to be shitty.” “okay, then dont be.”) and flawless teamwork (“the menu needs—” “already on it, chef.”) and nights unwinding at the bar down the street (“of course you drink an old fashioned.” “what’s that supposed to mean?” “nothing, it’s just very… tortured-chef-from-the-slums-of-chicago of you”) and spontaneous phone calls just to hear the others voice (“why are you whispering?” “i… don’t know. my dads home. its a habit.” “you’re 27.” “and you’re white, you wouldn’t get it.”) till they’re just inseparable (“cousin, wheres carmy?” “with syd, duh.” “why'd i even ask?”). and then, sydney and carmen become something else. something tender and sweet and terrifying and beautiful all mixed together into… something. there’s no word for what they have. but it feels so right; to the guests who taste their food and recognize that the hands who put it together are full of love and care; to the staff at the bear who see the unspoken communication, the lingering touches, and their soft eyes that seem to always be on the other; to the berzatto family who notice that carmy looks a little brighter, and shakes a little less. yes, its love, but its so much more. it’s syd and carmy. it always has been, and always will be.

(“can i ask you something? something corny and lame and gross?” “always.” “when did you, like, know?” “know what?” “like, when did you know that you loved me? like, not as a chef or a friend, but as... y'know.” “that’s very middle school of you to ask.” “shut up, i did warn you.” “…” “so?” “its, uh, i don’t, i don’t know.” “well, that’s rude.” “no, i mean, i can’t say its one moment because... it was all of them. together. like, one moment you’re staging and then everything happened and, and, keeps happening but the next thing i knew you were there and you always were there and i just knew that i never wanted you to not be there.” “that’s…. really, really, disgusting, and frankly, a little unprofessional.” “oh, fuck off.” “no, like, i knew you were obsessed with me, but wow, that is a whole new other level.” “fuck you, get off of me, don’t touch me.” “no no no, please—” “i let you into my family—” “let me?” “into my restaurant—” “i think you mean OUR restaurant—” “only for you to humiliate me in my own bed? how dare you.” “…are you sulking?” “…” “…carmy?” “syd?” “me too.” “…heard, chef. now come back here.”)

(and it’s unspoken, but everyone knows that michael would’ve loved her too. i mean, she’s sydney fucking adamu, she conquered the bear. how could anyone not love her?)

[e-pistulae]

in today's letter (sob): cicero gets distracted by hyping up messalla! cicero needs to defend himself against brutus' criticism that he is too willing to decree random honours for people, and also loves executing people too much! cicero does NOT go off on a tangent about virtue ethics! he DOES mention wishing brutus had killed antony though! again! cicero starts recounting how he once again defended the republic but then gains self awareness:

cicero did nothing wrong in giving all those honours to octavian and should maybe even have given him more! maybe the point is actually less about octavian (and decimus but who cares) than about posterity remembering how much everyone hates antony! cicero calls brutus' friends in rome clumsy politicians! cicero is a liarrrrrr:

cicero won't apologise for the lepidus' cringe statue incident and also he thinks brutus should kill peopleeeeee! cicero proclaims that there won't be a republic left no matter which side wins! one final fuck you to the children of public enemies! cicero promises to defend brutus' nephews, the children of a public enemy. but also they can get fucked! and cicero puts brutus' wishes above his own political reasoning! wauuhghhghhh i miss him already

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[sforzesco]

a bystander: both of you are focusing on the wrong thing

anyway! this is a comic from the vault™! it was originally something goofy I drew for myself after I read a couple of different takes on this whole event (Crassus leaving Rome in 63 BCE, see Plutarch Pompey 43). like.

the phrasing is giving late night teleserye plot drama.

and this literally sounds like something a friend has told me about someone else's relationship drama with their sometimes ex. but like. on a less high stakes stage.

ALRIGHT, moving on. some stuff that was Fun To Read, To Me

Crassus' New Friends and Pompey's Return, Eve J Parrish

Crassus: a Political Biography, B.A. Marshall

speaking of titles, fascinated by how this part of crassus' life gets defined by pompey's absence/return. hello fellas!

AND FINALLY inspiration for Pompey's comment about perpetuating cycles of violence comes from this delightfully dramatic bit of writing

Marcus Crassus and the Late Roman Republic, Allen Mason Ward

bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost

[garland-on-thy-brow]

Not included in Cicero's Epistulae: all the letters from Roman fujoshis asking when he will publish his new gay erotica.

[catilinas]

for the dream journal before i forget. had a dream last night that i had to capture kier starmer, who was a cat, so that My Actual Cat Gus could howl a long list of complaints at him. idk what the complaints were because i dont understand cat

[yr-obedt-cicero]

Links to the Lams letters manuscripts

There are still plenty in different societies or libraries scattered throughout the country, and I only have access to the digitized microfilms on the internet—so, unfortunately the list is not long. And if anyone has found or possess pictures of the others feel free to add on to this. But this is mainly reference material for others and myself.

Alexander Hamilton to John Laurens, [April 1779]

John Laurens to Alexander Hamilton, [14 July 1779]

John Laurens to Alexander Hamilton, [12 December 1779]

John Laurens to Alexander Hamilton, [18 December 1779]

Alexander Hamilton to John Laurens, [8 January 1780]

Alexander Hamilton to John Laurens, [30 June 1780]

Alexander Hamilton to John Laurens, [12 September 1780]

Alexander Hamilton to John Laurens, [11 October 1780] (copy and incomplete)

Alexander Hamilton to John Laurens, [4 February 1781]

John Laurens to Alexander Hamilton, [July 1782]

[catominor]

my hungry ass could never have been at the ides of march

[catoswound]

m. marce tulli tuesday monday. tbh

[a-passing-storm]

GUESS WHO'S OFFICIALLY A CLASSICS MAJOR NOW!!!

[firnen-the-teragram-teabag]

[octavianacidicbreastmilk]

the thing about octavian is that he did not need to do all that, but he really needed to suck all that old man cock. and it all needed to be about the pater familias

[girlcaelius]

hmm.

[e-pistulae]

in today's letter: this is cicero's last surviving letter to cassius! lepidus has been declared a public enemy by the senate! cicero really hopes cassius has already defeated dolabella and will bring his army to italy soon! everything is now lepidus' fault, and lepidus is worse than antony actually! i like how cicero doesn't mention octavian at all in his update of the political situation! and can cassius please hurry up and heal the body politic of rome!

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[sforzesco]

what's. what the fuck wrong with them. good grief. I need to put the three of them in a jar and study them

Mark Antony: A Biography, Eleanor Goltz Huzar

Julius Caesar and the Roman People, Robert Morstein-Marx

Mark Antony: A Biography, Eleanor Goltz Huzar

[garland-on-thy-brow]

You know how you can reply to e-pistulae?

Novel concept: one day in Rome, Marcus Tullius starts receiving letters from a fan...