#Cat Peeing Green

[brayneworms]

no, you hang up! | shota aizawa

kinktober day three: phone sex

word count. 2.2k

content. phone sex, reader and aizawa are coworkers, mutual masturbation, referenced age gap (once and it's minor + doesn't contribute to their relationship dynamic), dirty talk, no genitals for reader mentioned, gender-neutral reader, teasing (reader calls him names but it's all fairly playful), pre-relationship.

♪ agora hills — doja cat

kinktober mlist | regular mlist

You know it's him before you even look.

Your room is blue-dark, cold; the central heating must have turned off hours ago, still on to warm you to sleep even beneath two comforters. The recent winters were no joke—you walked around town at the moment with dry, blistering lips and dull skin and watery eyes. Even now, as you raise your head from the comfort of your sheets to the arid air, gooseflesh breaks over your skin.

Something pulses; it's what woke you in the first place. Some noise, some shift in the quiet. Outside it's still dark, not yet late enough for the light to start turning greyish and buoyant. It takes a muddled, groggy few seconds as the static in your head starts to clear that you realise it's your phone. 

You grope blindly for it; it's only vibrating, but you're a tepid sleeper at the minute, and it's more than enough to rouse you from whatever fitful slumber you'd managed to fall into. You have to be careful not to forget and turn on your side, put pressure on the sling that binds your arm as you reach under the sheets for your phone as it rings, rings, rings out. 

You slap a hand across the plastic case, lift it with a wince at the cold blue light that shines out like fingernails down a chalkboard. But yeah—when you read the name AIZAWA across the top of the screen in informal white capitals, you can't honestly say you're surprised.

You stab the green button on what's probably the eighth or ninth ring. "Yeah?"

There's a moment where he doesn't say anything. Where the line crackles the way the ozone layer does before the first strike of lightning. "...Did I wake you?"

"Yeah," you say again, returning to your back. Your bound arm gives a twinge of protest. 

"Sorry," he murmurs, in that dry tone of his, the one that rarely manages not to sound clipped and bored. "I guess I didn't realise how late it is."

You pull the phone away, glancing for the first time at the time in the right-hand corner. 02.11am. He did have a nasty habit of letting the night slip away from him—and his regular bouts of insomnia mean the lateness of the hour doesn't always impress upon him as it does for most people—but you suspect there may be more to it than that. There's a hesitance, a reluctance in his voice. 

"It's okay," you say finally. "Have to pee anyway."

The static rises as he huffs down the line. "How's the arm?"

"Feels like roadkill," you mumble, which doesn't make a lot of sense. But sue you, you're tired and the painkillers wore off in your sleep. "Why're you calling?"

Another crackle, a soft shift, like an out-of-tune radio adjusting frequency. "No... particular reason."

As the fatigue starts to clear from your heavy brain, you try to picture it. Shouta Aizawa—evidently not patrolling tonight, given the lack of cityscape din in the background of the call. It's quiet; you can maybe hear the low purr of a ceiling fan. Earlier, he'd shifted, and you'd heard the rustling of sheets. So, he's in bed. Lying there. Alone. Calling you.

He's pretty transparent. But to his credit, you don't think he's trying to be conspicuous. It's not incredibly in his nature. And it's not in yours to call him out on it, either, which he knows. It's why he does it.

Does, not like—like this is a regular thing, or anything. There have been one or two what you like to refer to as unrelated incidents over the eight-year course of your working relationship. A kiss at a New Year's party that lingered a moment too long, the time he took you home after a night at the bar with the other U.A. staff and you couldn't be in the staffroom alone with him for about a fortnight afterwards.

"Just missing the sound of my voice?" you ask, trying not to sound too coy. You don't want to make him skittish, and anyway you have a feeling he hates when you try to play up your (in your opinion) minor age difference. 

Another rustle, quieter, shorter. "...Something like that," he murmurs. His voice is soft, despite the timbre of it reaching down to some pit in his chest. 

"So should I talk?" you press. 

"Sure," he replies.

"About what?"

"Anything." He swallows. "Whatever... whatever you'd like to talk about."

You roll your tongue over your lower lip, suck it for a moment whilst you think. "I miss work," you start. Boring, mundane—testing the waters. "Being stuck at home sucks. And all my friends are my coworkers, so you're all at work every day. 'S pretty lonely."

"I see." There's a hint of strain in his voice, one that makes a dim chord strike somewhere low and pitiful inside you. You cross your legs over each other. "You know we'd visit if we had the time."

"Yeah, I know. I bought myself plants to give myself a reason to get out of bed," you say, casting a glance over at them as they rest on your windowsill. Their leaves wink and shiver in the current of cold breeze let in from the crack in your window. "I have to get up twice to water them. And then when I'm up, I think, I might as well get something to eat, exercise. Shower."

The last work is deliberately provocative, like pressing on a ripe bruise to see when it starts to hurt. Your reward is the faintest hitch of Aizawa's breath. 

"I talk to Hizashi every day," you continue, trying to keep your own voice even. The silence on the other end of the phone sounds deafening, your heartbeat starting to get uncomfortably forceful in your chest. "He texts a lot, about silly things. Keeping me up to date on stuff at the school. It's not the same as being there, but it's sweet that he tries." You pause. "I wish I could see everyone, though. Hey—can I see you?"

You let the question hang. Lining up a hunting rifle to a buck's head, letting it decide to stay or flee. Then,

"Hang on." It comes through gruff and short, but it makes your stomach twist all the same. A moment later, your phone hums with a notification. It hangs, a grey banner at the top of your screen. From Aizawa, with a photo attachment.

Your mouth goes dry as you stretch your thumb to tap it. It's a flash photo of a barely-lit room. You can see dark blue sheets and a grey comforter, and two legs in slouchy grey sweats, cocked apart, shoved halfway down his thighs. But in the crux of the photo—

"Jesus," you blurt before you can stop yourself. You hear Aizawa huff a noise on the other end of the phone, could be laughter, could be something else. It’s not like your entirely inexperienced with Aizawa’s cock, but that was a while ago and there’s a big difference between a drunken sticky fumbling in the dark and seeing it properly, in low warm light, heavy and hard with his hand wrapped around it. His fingers, thick and pale, you can’t help but want them on you. Circled around your ankle, maybe, pulling you apart for him with that quiet, unassuming strength of his. 

“Is that a good or bad reaction?” he asks, and the note of strain is thicker than ever. He sounds strangled. “Should I start worrying—about my job position?”

“Probably,” you answer. “But—no. How long’ve you been touching yourself?”

You hear his breath hitch again at the casual crudeness of your words. “How long’ve you been on the phone?”

A hot red flash zips through you. Before your head has given your body permission, you’ve laid the phone down flat on your chest, speakers buzzing through your shirt as you slip a hand beneath the waistband of your underwear. You go straight for what feels good, finding yourself already embarrassingly ready, shuddering as your fingers brush the most sensitive parts of yourself. 

“You’re such a creep,” you groan, head back against the pillow. Aizawa makes a quick, cut noise in the back of his throat. “One week without staring down my shirt in the staff room and you resort to this?”

“I don’t—” He cuts himself off, sighing shakily. “I don’t stare.”

He does fucking stare, it’s just quite subtle and it took you a while to notice. 

“Yeah, right.” Your fingers curl and search, press and glide. You’re hot and wet, for him, for the first glimpse of lust since your leave of absence began. “Bet you’d do anything for a taste.”

“...Maybe,” he stammers, breathing hard and quick against the phone. Now you can hear a soft stream of sounds coming through, a shlck-shlck-shlck that makes your blood hot and your brain fuzzy. “Maybe I’ve thought about it. Once or twice.”

“Dirty old man,” you say, half-babbling, and he groans low in his throat. You wish you could see him, God you can picture it—head thrown back, thick dark hair splayed against the rumpled pillows like a funeral shroud, sleep shirt ruched up to show the soft pale plane of his stomach dusted with dark spiralling hairs. You’d follow the pattern down to where the hair was thickest, push your hand through to where he was hard and hot as a brand for you. You didn’t get much time to play with him before, restless and lazy and horny off the cheapest champagnes you could order at the bar; he’d been inside you before too long and back out far too soon. 

“I’m n-not…” Hearing his resolve start to crack and fracture is the hottest thing in the world. Your own fingers work faster, jamming at the spots that make your legs gooey and your stomach start to tauten. “Isn’t my fault you look like that.”

Your giggle is breathless, half a moan. “Took that right out of the old perverts’ handbook,” you mutter. “Don’t break a hip on your way over here.”

“Shut up, shut up,” he grunts. “Damn it—shouldn’t have called—”

“I’m glad you did,” you say. Sweat is starting to collect in your armpits and the back of your neck. “Been so bored. This is the first time I’ve felt anything in weeks.”

His breath is ragged. “What do you feel?” he asks hoarsely. 

“Hang on.” The photo you send is conservative compared to his; just a shot of your hand disappearing into the waistband of your shorts. But you hear his stifled whimper, low in his throat, crackling with desperation. 

“God,” he hisses. “You have no idea what I’d do to you.”

“I have—some idea,” you mumble. 

“No, not like before,” he growls. “I was too drunk to do much of anything. What a waste. I’d never let you go if I had you now. I’d make you cum three times before I even thought about fucking you. My mouth, my hands, my thigh, anything.”

You imagine the scratch of his stubble on your inner thigh, or your own legs clamped around the thick muscle of his thigh, and nearly white out. You’re not in control, not of the way your hips cant desperately against your hand or the desperate moan his words pull from you, turning to stifle it into the pillow. 

“I want you inside me so bad,” you find yourself babbling, hot with embarrassment over the desperation in your voice. You sound close to tears. “Jesus—your hands, I’m always thinking about it. Fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

He makes a keening, desperate noise, like a starving animal going for food. “Show me.”

You barely hesitate, ripping your shorts and underwear all the way off, and it’s only a few more desperate strokes of your fingers until you feel them flood over, your whole body shuddering and legs twitching. Your chest heaves and you blink up at the ceiling, withdrawing your hand from between your legs. Very awkwardly, you manage balance your phone enough in your slung hand to take a photo, the flash illuminating the mess between your thighs, the gleam of your own spend on your fingers. Before you can let embarrassment get a hold of you prematurely, you send the picture to Aizawa.

The result in instantaneous. He pulls a breath through his teeth. “God—fuck, look at you. So messy. God, I’m—” A choked-off moan, the breathiest noise you’ve ever heard from him as he cums. You lie there, warm all over, your skin singing as you listen to him fall apart on the other side of the phone. The speakers tickle your skin as you scrub a hand down your face.

After, you listen to his harsh panting breath. Then there’s a pocket of silence, the sort neither of you know how to break.

Finally, you cave. “...Feel better?”

“Don’t,” he mumbles. “This was… highly inappropriate.”

“Agreed.”

“I shouldn’t have called.”

“Probably not.”

There’s a pause. “...Is it fine? That I did?”

A smile touches your mouth. “Yeah, it is.”

He huffs. You picture him rubbing at his eyes, drawing the skin inward to pinch at the bridge of his nose. “Well, then… yes. I do feel better.”

“Get off work early sometime,” you murmur. “I get so bored around here. Could use the company.”

You’re not sure why, but you think he’s smiling. “I’ll clear my schedule.”

taglist: @deltamel (+ask to join!!)

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Two

“I’m really sorry,” Steve is saying before Eddie has the door fully open, but it makes Eddie smile. It feels like Steve has started saying ‘I’m sorry,’ instead of ‘hello’ as a matter of course.

It’s Sunday afternoon though, and Eddie isn’t cooking anything and Steve isn’t holding an empty plate, so Eddie has no clue what Steve could be sorry for this time.

“Could you come and help me with something? It’ll just take two moments.”

“Sure thing,” Eddie agrees easily, slipping on his adventure crocs and following Steve down the hall.

Eddie follows Steve into and then through his apartment into the small bedroom. It’s a two bed apartment, the same as Eddie’s. Eddie uses his spare room to store his guitars. He has a desk in there too; a place to write and paint his miniatures and do guitar maintenance.

It’s a nursery. It’s cute, animal themed. The ceiling is painted powder blue, which drops down onto the walls about a foot before ending in a neatly done scalloped edge. The walls are white, but have cloud shapes printed on them in the same blue. There are random tufts of painted grass popping up from the floor; some with flowers. The rocker and the other furniture, including crib and chest of drawers, are all painted the same green, and the blinds are green jungle, with elephants and big cats and monkeys hiding amongst the leaves. A lot of the soft things are yellow and white, and Eddie has not a fucking clue as to the sex of Steve’s pup, so he asks as much.

Steve smiles, “I don’t know. I didn’t want to know. I like surprises.”

“Huh. Well. I’m always the one shaking the gifts at Christmas, but I do love a surprise too. What did you need?”

“We have the fixings for the mobile there ready, but I clean forgot about it until now, and I’m too big to stretch up there. Didn’t do it at the time because we were moving furniture and I was frightened I’d break it.”

“Okay sure,” Eddie takes the dangly parts of the mobile; cute little moons and stars and sun shapes, and fixes it to the bit already attached to the ceiling. It’s nice, and easy to figure out, but it does hang low so he gets what Steve means.

He also sees why Steve can’t reach; he seems to have suddenly gotten even bigger over the last week, and he's also only been wearing these sort of loose shift dresses, like a blouse, a button up, and a tent had a horrendous love child.

He looks gorgeous though. Eddie always thought pregnancy must be pretty fucking miserable; your body betraying you almost. Needing to pee all the time, unreasonable hormones. Cravings. Morning sickness. Odd shit happening all over the place. Eddie always figured telling pregnant people that they’re ‘glowing’ was just a nice thing people said to make them feel better during what must be a pretty shitty nine months.

Not with Steve though. Steve’s actually glowing. Not like literally glowing but...he’s beautiful, and Eddie suddenly understands what all the fuss is about.

Steve clears his throat. Right. Right okay, Eddie’s creepy staring, “so I was going to make chicken parm again tonight, since I know you like it and it’s been a bit...do you maybe want to get out the apartment and come to another, slightly different, apartment?”

Steve laughs a little, looking at where his hands cradle his bump, before looking back up, cheeks pink, “I think I’d like that.”

Eddie’s laid the table as nice as he can. He snagged a little bunch of daisy looking things out of the garden and shoved them in a mug, just because he remembered Steve’s little daffodil.

He doesn’t own place mats, but he does dig out a table cloth he usually only uses for games night; it’s black, but it’s clean.

Steve settles himself at the table and Eddie goes and gets dinner, he can’t help but notice Steve shift in his seat, wincing.

“You okay?”

Steve hums, “been getting funny back pain, but it’s all normal. Could be anything really, just the weight of the baby, or maybe they are leaning on my sciatic nerve. It’s all fine. Nearly done now.”

Steve takes the first bite of his dinner and hums appreciatively. It makes Eddie warm inside, a little tickle of his brain releasing happy chemicals. Omega is being fed. Omega is safe and happy.

Eddie tells it to fuck off.

“So you’re due soon?” Which feels like he;s stating the obvious, Steve is the size of a tiny moon.

“Tomorrow.”

Eddie makes a noise, startled, then nearly chokes on a string of spaghetti, “excuse me,” he manages to get out, before drinking half his water, Steve looking half concerned and more than a little amused from the other side of the table. “Tomorrow?” Eddie asks weakly.

Steve nods, chewing and swallowing before he answers, “the due date is tomorrow, but it’s the norm really for first pups to go over that, even more normal with male Omega, don’t worry, it’s fine. Although it should be soon, I passed the mucus plug yesterday.”

Eddie nearly chokes again, “the what?” he tries his best not to sound too horrified.

“Oh. Sorry, you probably don't want to hear about the uhm, the kind of gross stuff.”

“No, no, of course it’s fine what is...uhm...that?” And Eddie is fully prepared to regret acquiring this cursed knowledge. He doesn’t even know what it is and he’s already eyeing his spaghetti sauce dubiously. For Steve though...he will learn about the gross stuff.

“Oh, well, when you’re pregnant you get sort of this...lump of...gacky stuff and blood. You don’t have periods when you’re pregnant usually, so it kind of protects everything from infection getting in and stuff like that.”

Eddie takes a deep breath and lets it out, blowing up his bangs, and makes himself eat his dinner normally, “fair enough, but that means you’re...kinda’ close?”

“Well, kinda’. Robin’s spending this morning with her girlfriend and then this afternoon sorting her place out. She’ll be over later, she’s moving in until the pups a week old or so, just make sure I’m okay.”

“She’s...a really good friend, right?” It warms Eddie to know Steve has someone like that in his life.

“Yeah...she’s been there with me through everything. Every appointment, all the classes, everything. Even when I decided I wanted to do this it was...it was right after yet another crappy breakup, you know. She could have said all the sensible things about maybe it's not the right time yet, or that I should...think about it. You know, all that things that would have been totally reasonable for her to say but I'd just...I’d just had enough of waiting and she said she’d support me whatever, and that was that. She’s the best.”

Steve shifts again, putting down his cutlery to try and stretch his back out, hissing with pain, “you sure you’re okay?” Eddie asks, concerned.

“Yeah, fine I think,” Steve bends forward then, gripping the edge of the table and breathing out harshly through his nose, “oh that felt weird.”

Eddie’s up and coming around the table before he can stop himself, hovering his hands, not sure if it’s okay to touch, “Steve?”

“I...oh. Oh gosh I’m so sorry Eddie,” Steve stands cautiously revealing a very clear wet patch on the seat.

“I...that’s fine,” Eddie squeaks out, “are you...is this. Is that…?”

“Yeah, pretty sure my water just broke. And I really wanted that chicken parm,” Steve sighs.

“I can make it again,” Eddie says reflexively, “kind of feel like there’s bigger things to think about what should- like can I help? What do we do?”

Eddie finds himself, very strangely, not panicking. Like, well, maybe a little, but not an uncontrollable amount. Which now he’s here that’s a really nice surprise.

“I’ll just call Robbie, and then will you walk me home?”

And Eddie had maybe had inappropriate thoughts about walking Steve home so he could steal a kiss, not whatever this is. But. Still. “Of course.”

Steve smiles at him with his phone next to his ear, “it’s go time Birdie. Oh, what was I supposed to say? Code red? The eagle is...leaving? I can’t remember, you couldn’t make your mind up about the-” Steve hisses, bending to lean on the table, “yep, yep, see you soon.”

Steve hangs up, telling Eddie she’s on her way as they walk down the hall, dinner abandoned on the table. Steve chooses to stand, walking little laps back and forth along the back of the couch, “is there anything I can do?”

“My bag and car seat are in the nursery, if you don’t mind grabbing those?” Eddie does, putting Steve’s things right by the door, “oh, and a towel, from the bathroom? I don’t want to make a mess in Rob’s car.”

“Sure thing,” Eddie grabs a bath towel from there, and puts it on top, just as Steve’s phone starts ringing.

Eddie can practically feel it when Steve tenses up, his scent turning bitter with distress. Despite what’s going on, Steve’s scent hadn’t changed at all until now, “your car won’t start?”

He sounds terrified.

“I. Yeah. Okay. I can wait I’ll- okay.”

“Okay?” Steve shakes his head, eyes suddenly wet, he looks like he’s biting back tears and Eddie can’t stop himself from going to him.

“She’s got to wait for Chrissy to get to her place and pick her up, then they’ll come over,” Eddie has to make this better. He has to.

“Okay, how about this, me and you go now, I’ll take you, and they can meet you there? That’ll make it faster right?”

“I mean, I’m not...I mean labor can take hours and hours, I’m being silly I just- Eddie I’m a bit scared. She was supposed to be here, it’s a bit too soon.”

They end up holding hands, which Eddie’s kind of thrilled about even if Steve is squeezing the life out of him, “would you feel better if you were waiting at the hospital?”

Steve bites his lip, clearly torn, “are you sure you don’t mind?”

“I’ll get my keys.”

Part Four

[aisiedaisie]

hi <3 this is super self-indulgent haha…but would you be willing to write a poly!wolfstar with a reader who still has their like raggedy lovey stuffed animal from when they were a baby that maybe they were hiding from the boys and how they react to finding out? xx

Hello hello~! This is absolutely adorable! I’m definitely guilty of holding onto childhood plushies too, so this is a bit self-indulgent for me as well. I really hope you enjoy!!! 

Poly!Wolfstar x Fem!Reader WC: 1.1k

You flop down onto the fresh, unfamiliar bed, surrounded by boxes and bags, the remnants of your old flat strewn across the floor. Today was all about hauling practically everything from your last place into your boyfriend's house—your new home.

You’re grateful for this room of your own. It’s small, but that was your one non-negotiable condition. You love them both fiercely, but there’s something about having a sanctuary to retreat to, a space that’s just yours.

Their bed may be huge, but you know yourself: the thought of sharing it every night feels a bit too close for comfort, especially with everyone's mismatched schedules.

Plus, you’ve learned the hard way about Sirius’s habit of kicking in his sleep. He’d boot you clear off the bed at four in the morning if you gave him the chance. And Remus? He’s a snuggler—a heavy, unyielding snuggler. When he wraps an arm around you, it’s like being pinned by a warm, affectionate weight. Charming, absolutely, but not so convenient when you really have to pee in the morning.

So here you are, content but completely drained, with the three of you spending most of the day heaving boxes into the car and scrubbing down your old flat.

“Oh, it feels good to just lie down,” you groan, the ache of a long day catching up with you.

“I told you to wear comfortable shoes, dove,” Remus says softly, leaning against the doorframe and watching you with a fond smile.

You turn your head, flashing him a tired grin. “In my defense, I thought these were comfortable.”

“And is our princess now resting in her royal quarters?” Sirius quips, appearing just behind Remus, fresh from hauling a load of flattened boxes down to the bin.

“Absolutely,” you tease, shaking your head at his playful tone. “Thanks for helping me out. I’m sorry Marls had to back out last minute.” You sigh, thinking of how your best friend had called that morning with the news: her girlfriend had been in a minor accident at work and had to be rushed to the hospital. You could hardly blame her for canceling; if either of your boys were in the hospital, you’d drop everything to be there, too.

“Anytime, darling,” Sirius murmurs as he strolls into the room. With a dramatic flop, he lands on his back on the far side of the bed, letting out a soft “oof.” It’s an endearing sound that makes you laugh, even as you feel the day’s exhaustion settling in.

“Well?” You turn to Remus, a mischievous glint in your eye. “Planning to join us?” The question comes out with a flirtatious smile, hinting at just how much you’d love him to join you and Sirius.

Remus rolls his eyes, but there’s a softness there, too, as he lets out a gentle sigh. Shaking his head with a small, amused smile, he pads over to the foot of the bed and settles down, reaching for both of you. His hands find their way into your hair and Sirius’s, brushing through in a familiar, calming rhythm, almost like he’s petting two contented cats.

Sirius stretches his arms, accidentally knocking one of the many decorative pillows off the bed. With a groan, he slides down to his knees to retrieve it, grabbing the plush white pillow and tossing it haphazardly back onto the bed. But as he does, something else catches his eye—a faded mint-green fabric peeking out from an open duffel bag beside the bed.

“Siri?” Remus calls out, noticing that Sirius hasn’t returned to join them.

Curious, you sit up, wondering why he’s so distracted. Army-crawling to the edge of the bed, you spot his gaze fixed on the bag, and your heart skips a beat as you realize what he’s staring at.

Panicking, you scramble off the bed and slide down beside him, nearly losing your balance in the rush. Remus’s concerned voice cuts in as he leans over, “Dove, you alright?” But you’re already reaching for the item that has Sirius’s full attention, fumbling slightly in an attempt to tuck it out of sight.

Sirius’s brows lift with curiosity. “What are you hiding?” he asks, a mischievous grin playing on his lips as he tries to gently wrestle the object from you.

“Nothing!” you whine, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks.

Remus raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. “That doesn’t look like ‘nothing,’” he says with a smirk. “Especially if you’re going to all this trouble to hide it.”

You squeal, feeling a mix of embarrassment and nervousness as you pull the plush tightly to your chest.

Sirius’s hands stop their playful struggle, but he keeps them on your back, rubbing soothing circles as he softens his tone. “Baby?”

You groan, sitting up and holding the well-loved, slightly worn mint-colored bunny in your arms. The little plush flops over as you look down at it, feeling a bit sheepish.

"My mom got her for me when I was a baby," you explain, your voice quiet but steady. "I know it's childish to still sleep with plushies at my age, but... she's just always been there for me. Through everything—moving around, tough nights, even all the times I was scared or stressed. It’s like… having a little piece of home with me."

Sirius's expression softens, a warm smile tugging at his lips. "That’s not childish at all, Love," he says, rubbing a gentle hand over your back. "Everyone needs something that makes them feel safe."

Remus nods in agreement, reaching out to touch the bunny's worn little ear. "And besides," he says with a grin, "if anyone gives you trouble about it, just remember who they’re talking to. You’ve got two knights here who’d defend a bunny’s honor, no questions asked."

You laugh, feeling a rush of relief. Hugging the bunny a bit tighter, you feel their arms wrap around you, holding you just as close.

"I love you both so much—" your voice comes out soft, but the warmth in it is unmistakable. You don’t even get a chance to finish before Sirius practically pulls you into his lap, wrapping his arms tighter around you with a grin that practically lights up the room.

"Good," he says, squeezing you reassuringly. "Because we're not going anywhere."

Remus leans in on your other side, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear with that gentle smile of his. "We love you too," he murmurs. "And that bunny? She’s part of the family now."

You can’t help but laugh, your heart feeling lighter than it has in ages as you sit there, held in the arms of the two people who mean everything to you, with your cherished bunny nestled close. In that moment, you know for certain that home isn’t just a place—it’s right here, with them.

[dontopenfairies]

She pulls up to the curb alongside a huge green lawn. There’s supposed to be a free concert in the park today. She turns off the car and looks at her boyfriend.

“Let me take kitty for a second while you eat your snack,” she says, taking his black stuffed cat from him and setting it on the dashboard. She rummages around in the bag and finds a granola bar for him. “Here you go, sweetheart. Eat that and then we’ll try to find the festival.”

After they get out of the car, she passes him the big bag. “You’re carrying that,” she says. “Stick kitty in the big pocket. And then there’s sunscreen on the inside zipper pocket. Make sure you get your nose.”

It’s a long walk through the park to get there. “Are you excited?” she asks. “I’m really excited.” She stops him to take pictures of him next to the prettiest flowers and trees.

There’s a huge crowd of people around the bandstand. They can hear the murmur of people from the top of the little path down the hillside to get there. “Wow,” she says. “I think I forgot what crowds sound like. Maybe a Covid thing.” He reaches out and she grabs his hand as they get closer.

Everyone cheers when the band comes out. They start to play and the crowd applauds. Little groups of people around the perimeter are dancing.

He gets a little closer to her. “Are you okay, honey?”

“Um…I don’t know,” he whispers.

“Is the crowd stressing you out? You seem a little bit anxious.”

He nods. “I wet myself a little bit,” he whispers in her ear.

“Aww, sweetheart, and you don’t have a diaper today.” She surveys the damage as subtly as she can. Good thing he’s wearing black pants today.

“I think I need a toilet,” he says.

“Okay, let’s go find somewhere.” She’s wearing a flannel over her tank top, so she pulls it off and wraps it around his waist, tying it at the front. “That’ll cover you a little bit if you leak more, okay, honey?”

Now to find a toilet.

“Oh, that guy can tell us!” she says, looking at a man with a hi-vis staff vest on. “Excuse me? Hi, um, we’re looking for a bathroom.”

“Porta-potties that-a-way,” says the man, pointing.

She thanks him as they hurry over. The porta-potties are between two big, flowering bushes, but it isn’t enough to mask their smell.

The larger, accessible toilet is in use so they have to cramp into one of the small ones. The plastic walls are trapping heat inside.

“Yuck, it’s gross in here,” she says. She reaches out and opens the bag, still on his arm, and pulls out kitty and hands it to him.

“Wait, you aren’t changing me, are you?”

“What do you mean? You need a change, she says, pulling a thin adult diaper out of the bag.

“I’m not going in the toilet?”

“In there? Did you see how yucky it was? This’ll be so much better. Besides, I can tell you want it today.”

“Why? Just because I was holding my stuffie in the car?”

She unzips his pants and pulls them down along with his underwear. Even though they’ve been together for two years, he still gets shy when he’s exposed to her.

“No,” she says, getting the lotion and baby powder from the bag. “Well, not just that. Just from how shy and nervous you’ve seemed all day. Not to mention clingy.”

“Nuh-uh!” he retorts as she pulls the diaper around his front and tapes the sides. “I wasn’t THAT clingy…”

“You wanted to sit on the same side as me in the booth in the diner,” she says. “And you were hanging on to me the whole time. I almost expected I’d have to spoon-feed you your lunch.”

“Noo! You’d never have to spoon-feed me! I can do that myself!”

“Can you hold your pee by yourself, too?” she asks, watching his diaper swelling. He bends over, as far as the cramped portapottie allows him to, and presses on his bladder to get out the last bit.

“So cute,” she says, almost to herself, as she pulls his underwear and pants back up over the diaper. It’s a little harder to zip his pants up now that the diaper is swollen.

“You’re gonna stretch out my underwear,” he whines.

“I’m not getting a pants change?” he asks as she opens the portapottie door.

“Do you think there’s room in there to get your pants all the way off and your extra pair on?” she asks, holding the door open for him.

“No…”

They walk to the little sink next to the portapotties and she washes her hands.

“You should wash, too,” she says, taking kitty from him and stowing it in the bag.

“Okay,” he says. He hates the smell of the portapottie soap. Luckily, when he’s done, she sprays his hands with the lavender-scented hand sanitizer she keeps in the bag. So much better.

“Do you want to try again,” she asks, gesturing to the crowd. “Or do you want to go home?”

“I’ll try again!”

It just takes a couple more songs before he gets squirmy again. It’s getting hotter, and someone is smoking weed nearby, and more people are joining the crowd behind them, pressing in.

“I’m really trying, but I think I just need to go home,” he says. “Or somewhere quiet.”

“Okay, let’s go down to the grove,” she says, leading him by the hand through the crowd and across the lawn and down to the little area between the hills. There’s a ring of trees with a bench in the middle and they sit down.

He takes out his water bottle and takes a sip.

“Are you feeling better here?” she asks, wrapping her arm around his shoulder and pulling him closer.

“I’m sorry I wanted to leave. I know you wanted to see the concert.”

“I wanted to hang out with you,” she says. “I just thought maybe the free concert would be fun. It’s not a big deal.”

“Okay,” he says, leaning his head on her shoulder.

“Remember what I told you before? Sometimes things seem like a really big deal in the moment, but as soon as it’s over, you can see that it’s all okay. It’s going to be okay.”

He closes his eyes. He can hear the sound of the band, warped and far away. And the sound of cars on the road just outside of the park. He can feel the strap of her tank top and her warm skin on his cheek, her shoulder rising and falling with her breath.

“Now you’re happy, sitting here with me holding you. But don’t think I’ll forget how bratty you were in the portapottie when we get home. You’re definitely getting a punishment for talking back to me and whining about wearing a diaper you clearly need.” She rubs his shoulder. “Oh, don’t blush. I could tell you wanted a diaper on, I can tell when you want a little punishment, too.”

[armandisdaddy]

Arrogance (Modern Au!)

(Daemon Targaryen x Fem Reader)

(Content/ Warning: 18 +, Age-gap, cheating, angst, swearing, violence, avoidance, p in v penetration, sexual innuendos, cat and mouse.)

(Summary: After finding out your boyfriend and best friend have been screwing behind your back you find comfort in the one person you cannot stand…there won’t be any sex in this chapter. But it’s coming…)

Chapter One

Today was you and your boyfriend Aemond’s third anniversary. You enjoyed the three years you spent with him and even the thoughts of marriage and children bounced around your mind. Things weren’t perfect but beyond everything you were still “happy”. Today your best friend Alys was throwing a party in your honor. You were getting ready deciding on a dark green dress that hugged you just right and stopped just above you knees and two slits that came up either side. You looked amazing and you knew your man was going to love seeing you in it. You both showed up together looking like the perfect couple everything was going smoothly as everyone clapped or the both of you and your best friend was there to greet you. She gave you both a hug. “Oh my god’s y/n…you look amazing.” She gushed over you as she past you a drink.

The night was perfect and you and Aemond danced the night away along with a few of your other friends. You had a few drinks and the liquor was starting to set in when you notice your best friend and your boyfriend were no where to be found. You shrugged it off not thinking about it too much and then you realized you had to pee. Stumbling into the bathroom you heard a couple enjoying themselves in the stall next to yours and for a moment you cheered them on until you recognized the man’s voice that was echoing off the walls. You’re heart started to pound and your head was spinning so you leaned over to see the shoes that were planted on the floor it was Aemond’s dress shoes and Alys’s dress pooled on the floor. Being as drunk as you are you gasped and finally your presence was noticed. “Oh fuck…y/n..” Aemond said and you quickly got the fuck out of there. Running and sobbing Aemond was fixing himself tailing after you and so was Alys. Everyone saw it all and as you can suspect the party was over you were in your car too drunk to move it but you sobbed with your head pressed against the steering wheel. Aemond and Alys had been begging you to let them in so they could gaslight you into thinking you imagined what you heard and saw but after the first three attempts didn’t work they started going at each other yelling and cursing.

Your eyes were hot from all of the crying and your head pounded profusely from the pressure. You noticed that it finally got quiet they had decided to leave. “Thank the seven.” But you were yet again disturbed by a knock on your car window. This time it wasn’t Aemond or Alys it was his uncle Daemon. You were surprised to see him of all people at your car checking on you. He made it quite clear the first time he met you that he wasn’t too fond of you and after that you kept your distance. You let your window down a bit. “What do you want?” He wasn’t he usual arrogant self. His eyes were soft while he looked at you and finally he spoke. “Do you need a lift? You’re too drunk to drive.” You wanted him to say something snarky so you could come back with some witty comeback but he didn’t. “Yeah…I guess I do..” Stepping out you left the keys to Aemond’s porche inside it It didn’t matter at this point if someone stole it good for them you thought. “So where do you want to go?” He asked and you started to cry again realizing you couldn’t go back to the apartment you shared with Aemond and you could even go to your best friend’s place. “Hey hey…look you can come to my house I have a room you can sleep in yeah? Does that sound good?” You nodded still sniffling softly…, “Why are you helping me? I thought you didn’t like me..” He sighed and shrugged the question off, “Don’t worry about that right now. Let’s just get you somewhere warm.”

Pulling up to his house you had never seen it before but it was goregous…and of course it was he’s a Targaryen. He was holding your heels for you as you walked in and quickly led you to the room you’d be sleeping in. “There is a bathroom in this room if you wish to take a shower or bath.” His eyes were wandering a bit…You did look amazing in that dress… showing off just the right amount of skin… he shook himself from his thought. “If you need a change of clothes I can get you one of my shirts and some sweats.” You nodded softly and took down your hair. He left for a moment and came back in with your clothes for the night. “Daemon…can you help me unzip my dress?” He nodded and you could feel the warmth of his hands on your back. Slowly sliding down your spin as he unzipped the dress stopping just above your ass. He cleared his throat and left soon after. You took a quick shower washing away everything away. You cried in the shower and even in the bed not getting a wink of sleep. By the time you finally passed out Daemon was waking you up with breakfast. “Come on sunshine I’ve got pancakes waiting in the kitchen for you.” You were groggy and irritated; your head was stilling pounding as if someone was tap dancing on your head. Daemon smiled seeing you in your natural element passing you your plate. You weren’t in the mood to eat but he stared you down and didn’t touch his food until you took a few bites.

“Could you possibly find your own place in a few days? I’ll be happy to help you get your things today and you can keep them here until you do.” You sighed and took a sip of your coffee he had ready for you., “No…I just finished college…and needed to start looking for a job…Aemond handled everything.” He hummed drinking his coffee and finishing his plate. “Alright, well I needed a new assistant anyway so you will be working for me. You will atleast need a month to get on your feet and be on your way yes?” You were still very confused. “I mean thanks for the job but why are you helping me…remember you said you thought I was a cunt…” He chuckled remembering the day he met you. “Yes I did say that well honestly I thought if I had ran you off you would be saved from the cunt…my nephew that is.” You scoffed, “Don’t you think “he’s not a good guy” would’ve been more affective.”, he smiled, “Yeah you’re right…I just wanted to be a bit of a dick I guess. Well, the weekend is over so your first day is tomorrow. Let’s go ahead and get your stuff.”

It took about 30 minutes for the two of you to get to what was soon to be your old apartment. You were met at the entrance with all of your stuff on the sidewalk with a small note it saying trash…mostly everything you had of any value was ruined. Now this pissed Daemon off and he went up there to have a small chat with his darling nephew. You were still trying to pick through things and fighting back tears when Daemon pulled you back to the car. “Daemon…my stuff.” He groaned in a low tone, “I will get you new stuff don’t worry about it. I’m cooking dinner and we’re getting drunk tonight.” He knew this was what you needed after all this so he made a five star dinner for the two of you and paired it with some fancy red wine. “Listen y/n I know you and I aren’t the best of friends right now and I know you’re going through a lot so I’m trying to give you a helping hand. From what I understand you are a very self sufficient young woman. My brother was considering giving you a position with our company if you didn’t know so I’m making the call to put you on our team also because I know it’s going to pissed Aemond off to have to see flaunting in and out of my office every day. So do not disappoint me, understand?” You nodded and without another word you toasted to a wonderful working relationship together. The food was delicious you had no idea Daemon had so many hidden talents…interesting. After dinner Daemon offered to watch movies with you and obliged. The wine was flowing and he had made popcorn. You two were watching comedies to keep your spirits up and you ended up leaning on his shoulder which he moved away from but he ended up letting you nuzzle into him. He enjoyed this more than he’d like to admit but quickly his mind was taken from such a sentimental moment when your hand started to wander and it all seemed so innocent your hand was laying on his thigh then it eased up his chest. His breath hitched within his chest and he looked over at you only to see you looking right at him he chuckled nervously and moved your hand. “If I’m being honest y/n I’d enjoy fucking you into oblivion…but I uhhh…believe it or not I don’t like taking advantage of women especially you. Maybe we should go to bed we have a long day tomorrow with it being your first day and all.”, you sigh softly a bit hurt by the rejection but he wasn’t wrong you were very vulnerable right now and you appreciated his honesty nonetheless. The next day was the beginning of an interesting work life with Daemon. You were awakened by him he was acting as your own personal alarm. It was five in the fucking morning. “Why the fuck are we up so early the office doesn’t open until nine?”, He laughed placing her work clothes on the bed neatly. “Well, I usually go for a morning run before work so I figured you’d go with me to keep your mind off of that cunt of an ex boyfriend of yours. Especially since you will be seeing him a lot more these days.”, your groggy face twisted into a grimace. “I forgot he works in the family business fuck…me…great. I’m not going on a run today. I’ll be getting ready and I’ll make breakfast for you, deal?”, you held your hand out and he hadn’t experienced your cooking yet, but he figured what could it hurt so he shook on it.

You took a well needed shower did a simple make up look with lashes, lip liner, and lip gloss. You made bacon, eggs, and waffles for Daemon and decided to look at the outfit he had left out. A rather sexy secretary ensemble for you to wear a white button up with half sleeves, a tight pencil skirt, black panty hose, and black heels. You didn’t know what to do with your hair so you pinned it up. By the time you were ready Daemon had already arrived and was in the shower. While you waited at the door he approached you with his white tresses slicked back and a suite tailored just for him. You were taken aback at how well he cleaned up and he was speechless seeing how well everything fit on you. This was going to be harder than he thought., “You look nice.” He said rather plainly trying to hide what he was really thinking. You nodded in thanks and now you both were out the door getting into his car. The ride wasn’t very long but by the time you pulled up it was about eight-thirty. “Perfect timing. I can show you around and get you in the loop before we get busy.”, He spoke in an elated tone.

You had only been in this place once, you had forgotten just how humongous it was inside. It was as if you were seeing it all over again. Your new boss was showing you around giving you a quick tour of where to find the coffee maker, printers, bathrooms, and now his office. Your desk was right next to the entrance of his office and you placed down your things. “So y/n I know this is all new to you so I won’t be to harsh, but I will be stern and mistakes can be made but not too many will be tolerated, understand?” You nodded quickly and he sent you off to get coffee. The doors were open and everyone was rolling in. And of course the first person you see was a familiar one. Aemond but he had a black eye and a busted lip…was this the result of the conversation his uncle had with him. You were certain it was and while you waited to use the keurig Aemond finally noticed you. He was at a loss for words seeing you here and looking as good as you did. “Y/n what are you doing here?” You decided to ignore him as if he wasn’t even there. You made Daemon’s coffee and went back to your wing of the building and Aemond followed until he realized who you were working for. He was fuming when he stormed into his office. “Why the fuck is she here? I know you don’t care for me that much, but after what just happened you want her to work here.”, Daemon spoke it a rather conniving tone, “Your father, my brother planned on extending a job offer to her and you knew this already. So you think just because you fucked up by screwing her bestfriend that we were going to leave her assed out after all she’s had to deal with being with you? You are highly mistaken, Aemond. If this is all you came to speak to me about you can get back to work. I need my assistant in here to help me with a few things.” Aemond huffed in irritation and left to go speak to Viserys.

Daemon called you into his office and you quickly entered. “You alright?”, He asked and you sighed holding back tears. “Listen it will get easier don’t worry about that bastard. If anything seeing him squirm should be fun.”, You smiled. “You know I never thought of it that way.”

to be continued…

They make quite the conniving pair don’t they..?

[umeoniii]

aot men beige flags

eren, jean, reiner , levi , armin , connie

!: sfw

（＾∇＾）

eren:

☆ makes weird voices.

high pitched, low pitched, shaky he doesn’t care.

like sometimes as a bit he just uses weird accents and stuff.

he’ll speak like a caveman for one day.

“me want ooga burga” he’ll scratch his head like one too

and you’ll just stare at him like, “this mfs crazy” bcs literally wtf is he on about?!

the next day he’s trying to sound french

“oui oui mon amour”

and he’s wiggling his brows and has his imaginary mustache in between his fingers.

☆ his next one is he’s kind of oblivious to a lot of things.

you can pull out the ugliest outfit known to man to test him and he’ll say “that looks so good baby”

not bcs he’s setting u up. no, because he doesn’t think that lime green ripped jeans and a orange cropped hoodie look bad together.

you’ll have to show him what fashion looks like and he’ll get better as time goes on.

jean:

the tickle monster.

☆ when you’re around him u have to watch your back. he’s serious about it.

u can have a super cute sentimental moment with him and he’ll pull it out.

“i really love you baby.” you’d say

“who else do you love, because i know you’re cheating on me with him.”

and you’re like WHAT.

“with who?!”

he’d pause and stare at you for a few seconds.

“THE TICKLE MONSTER!”

and he’d tickle you until you can’t breathe and almost pee yourself.

and after that you don’t trust him but then proceed to slip up multiple times.

u guys are gonna hate me for this next one…

☆ he does “the face” when he’s gonna kiss u

u guys know what i’m talking about

“the face guys make when they go in for a kiss”

his isn’t horrid, only because he’s attractive

sometimes he actually over exaggerates it to piss you off.

it’s not super horrible but it’s giggle worthy

reiner:

☆ he’s a cringe bf. unironically. it’s sweet but not all the time.

by cringe i mean “i just found out about periods, god it must suck to be a beautiful goddess :/.”

or he’s like

“hey! tell you’re period it can’t hurt you like that, it’s not cool!”

☆ he’s also a scaredy-cat.

behind all that muscle is a big baby.

he jumps at scary movies even when he knows what happens next.

cannot play something like fnaf with him

he will throw the phone and scream like he got stabbed in his chest.

he’s probably still scared of the dark but it’s kind of sweet idk. he literally cuddles with you at night like a mother and her baby. you’re practically holding him like a frail little princess, except he’s kind of the exact opposite.

this is actually kind of cute though..

levi:

☆ now his beige flag is that he can be SUPER sarcastic. ik he is.

he’s super snarky and sassy.

like he’s the type to tell what’s considered a ‘corny dad joke’ but instead he’d say it with a stoic face.

like if youre talking and couldn’t remember and say something like “remember when umm…” and you just sit there and think, he’d come back with “no i don’t remember when that happened”.

he wouldn’t laugh or anything.

i feel like that’s why it’s funny. he could make a childish poop or fart joke and it would only be funny bcs he looks like this 😐

he would own a stupid t-shirt that says something like, “find your patience before i lose mine”.

☆ he’s a karen as well. he’s not super bad but like at restaurants and stuff when his foods not right or the tables are not bussed…

i’d be in the bathroom crying my mascara off if i was his waitress

armin:

☆ he’s scared of animals.

this includes typical house pets like dogs or cats.

it’s bcs “they don’t speak , so you’ll never know what they’ll do next.”

his fear stems from one small thing that happened when he was younger.

a cat jumped onto his lap.

he thought it was trying to attack him and so he screamed and the cat got scared.

that’s it.

he can’t even visit the zoo because he’s scared the animals will break out. (he’s super serious about it, it’s not even something he jokes about)

he’s tried to like animals and it worked for a while.

until the dog started to play a little too much to his liking.

☆ also he just randomly informs you of random facts.

completely random.

you could be on the toilet and he’ll come in the bathroom like, “a shrimps heart is in its head…”

no “did you know?” or “isn’t it cool that?” he just says it.

if you ever go onto a game show you’ll probably win it with all the useless knowledge he’s given u.

connie:

☆ you could tell him the most god awful thing happened to you and he’ll be like

“wait, this reminds me of something that happened in something i just watched.”

he’ll proceed to whip out his phone and show you the tv show, news report, tiktok. whatever it was he saw.

this tends to happen to every experience that you have.

you could be held hostage and they’ll call him for ransom and somehow it reminds him of this one part of a tv show.

sometimes it’s funny sometimes it’s not.

☆ he sleeps like he hasn’t slept since the day he was born.

he hops into the bed and sits there for 1 minute before he starts snoring aggressively.

he looks dead, like actually…

sprawled out and snoring with his mouth open.

one time he slept with his eyes wide open and you shook him awake panicking.

he belittled you and was all smart and cocky saying “i would never sleep with my eyes wide open” even though he did.

he sleeps to the rain sounds with the thunder. but sometimes is so sleepy and forgets about it.

tagz!🐬: @hangesgirlypop , @yiugen , @heartshapedtearss

♡

a/n: heyooo! b4 u guys request it, im doing girls next ;). i just think this trend is the cutest thing ever, plus it feels good to write fluff. also im actually getting back to requests. like frl this time, i’ve been grinding non stop all night so i could be done by hopefully friday. feel free to request cute things u guys, i will absolutely write it! and also feel free to request other characters, i feel like u guys don’t request them bcs u guys don’t see them and so u think i won’t do them. trust i probs will!

[awakentrashpanda]

Dogday headcanons because he’s adorable

☀️Total klutz, this puppy cannot walk 2 feet without, tripping over something on the ground, tripping over his own feet, bumping into some thing, or walking face first into something

☀️Anytime he gets startled he is a yippy little pupper, everybody else will be trying to calm him down, partially because they care about him, and partially because they’re desperate to get the barking to stop, Catnap is usually the best at calming him down 

☀️Sniffs new people

☀️Gives all of his friends, especially Catnap, tons of physical affection both because he loves physical affection and also to get his scent on them… Especially Catnap 

☀️Keeping up with the dog like behavior, sometimes he’ll pee on objects to mark them as his territory…He has been repeatedly told to stop doing this 

☀️His tail wags when he’s genuinely happy, but it also wags when he’s trying to stay positive, or when he is full of false hope (like we see in the VHS when he was telling the others that the wind storm will eventually pass) he also makes it wag on command in order to keep other people’s spirits up or to prevent others from worrying about him 

☀️Has hoodies of each and every one of his friends, blue elephant hoodie for Bubba, green rabbit hoodie for Hoppy, red bear hoodie for Bobby, you get the idea, his favorite is the purple cat hoodie for obvious reasons 

☀️I envision these characters live in the world of their cartoon show separate from the factory but occasionally their memories have a sort of semi overlap with their irl counterparts, and since they are toys made from children, whenever Dogday comes across any sort of item, like perhaps a stuffed animal or an accessory, that belonged to the child that came to be made into the irl‎ Dogday he will sit down next to it and whine sadly for about an hour…He has no idea why he does this (this is because some dogs are known to be so loyal that they will sit at their owners gravesite long after they’re dead)

☀️If you ever mention walks, ear scritches, belly rubs, or treats when he is within earshot he will immediately get excited

🧡🐶🧡🐶🧡🐶🧡🐶🧡🐶🧡🐶🧡🐶🧡🐶🧡🐶



[lou-struck]

In The Middle of the Night Pt 2

Part 2 Featuring: Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor

Part 1

Part 3

-After falling asleep in their arms, you realize that they don't want to let you go.

Satan~

You fell asleep before he did that night, it’s enterprising though. Satan prefers to read until the early hours of the morning.

When you wake up you see that his bedroom lamp is still dimly on. Much like a cat, Satan doesn’t need much light to be able to read At night. 

When you roll over you see that he is still sitting up in bed, but the book he was reading is still open on his lap. With one hand holding yours, the other hangs limply at his side. His gorgeous green eyes are shut and his head rests against the headboard in a very uncomfortable sleeping position.

Knowing that if he continues to sleep like this his neck will hurt badly in the morning, you place a bookmark in his book and place it on the side table. You click off the light and gently guide him onto the pillow.

Doing this though you end up letting go of his hand. 

He sits up quickly, destroying any of the progress that you had made earlier. His eyes look almost angry as he scans a room trying to figure out why you let go of him.

You have to gently tell him that you were just getting him more comfortable and he gives you a peaceful smile and settles back into the sheets. This time however it’s not just his hand that’s holding you it’s all of him. His hands needed to your skin like he’s a cat and it lulls you to sleep.

Asmodeus~

Even when asleep, Asmodeus is just as clingy as ever. His limbs are wrapped tightly around your own and his fingers hold yours gently. 

His pillow has been long forgotten in favor of sharing yours. Everything is so warm, and blissful, and the scent of his nighttime skin routine smells so good. you’re usually able to spend the entire night in his arms without consciousness even crossing your mind.

But tonight, you had one too many glasses of Demoneus, and you have to go to the bathroom… Badly.

And so you begin to unravel yourself from the warm and comforting embrace of the Avatar of Lust. It’s quite a task, his grip while soft is determined. He doesn’t want to let you go too easily.

After an embarrassing amount of time, you finally get free of his grip. You have to pee so badly that you swear you’re seeing yellow in the corner of your eyes. But as you turn around you hear a sleepy little cry.

Asmo, still half asleep is sitting up in bed, his light orange eyes are out of focus and teary, but he looks at you were such a heartbroken expression you want to be the one to cry.

“Please don’t leave me Mc…” He mumbles.

Beelzebub~

You’ve become used to missing Beel’s warmth at night. Is midnight cravings get the best of him and he wanders down into the kitchen. Leaving you safely tucked away in his sheets.

He has stopped eating snacks in bed since the cramps get everywhere and it becomes quite uncomfortable to sleep on.

His midnight snack sessions however are unpredictable, he could be down there for hours or just a few minutes depending on what’s in the fridge.

But it gets cold without him. So cold you feel like you need to go back to your room and grab something a bit warmer for you to change into.

unbeknownst to you, feels midnight snack went by very quickly. And when he came back to his room his big heart hurt when he saw that you weren’t in the bed waiting for him. 

He misses you too much, with a frown on his face he prepares to walk back down the hallway toward your room asking you if you could come back.

When he finds you in your doorway, his big hand takes you now and he looks at you is purple eyes full of need.

“ Please come back with me MC, I don’t wanna go to sleep without you.“

Belphegor~

There aren’t many things that can pull Belphie from his slumber. It is his favorite thing to do and if left unchecked he could sleep for days on end. 

So when you do fall asleep in his arms you don't feel too bad about getting up in the middle of the night for a glass of water. 

So as long as you make it back before he knows you are gone. 

You’ve only been in the Devildom for a little bit, but you know that waking up the Avatar of Sloth is a huge no-no.

Thinking that you’ll be quick, you head down to the kitchen to grab yourself a nice cold glass of water to soothe your parched throat.

You don’t realize that as you sip your glass of water, an uncomfortable coldness is washing over his dreaming psyche.

It’s so uncomfortable that he wakes up and is surprised to see that this chill is coming from you not being next to him.

With a huff, he sits up in bed with his arms crossed ready to whine to you about how cruel it is that you leave him when you know how happy he feels when you sleep next to him.

[kerokerokook]

the rebound girl: chapter three

pairing: nerd pro-gamer jeongguk x reader

word count: 20.7k

a/n: so sorry for not updating for like almost two months atp. had some personal stuff and with genocide that is happening in gaza, i personally felt like it wasn't appropriate for me to post. please continue to support in any way you can whether that's with uplifting voices, going to protests, boycotting and donating. the smallest action can make a difference.

just a heads up, i won't keep a update schedule which i apologize for but i will do my best to be consistent :)

also i write this authors note, the golden concert finished and we got the enlistment notice for vminkookjoon. it's fine everything is fine they sooner they leave the sooner they come back hahaha :( (i'm crying as we speak)

warnings for this chapter: kissing, lots of ass grabbing, oc is down baaaaad, and so is jk tbh, oral (fem and male receiving), two orgasms for you, 69 position, some very light spanking and praise. jk drinks it like water. some slight dom/sub undertones (jk is a switch but not in this chapter :o)

other tags: a good chunk of angst, slut shaming, spreading of fake rumors, finally oc backstory on the nickname!!, mentions of marijuana, jeongguk asks the girls how to eat cat 8-) and he is once again green flag obvi

fic masterlist

song for chapter: seven by jungkook ft. latto and slut! by taylor swift

enjoy!

-mal <3

You wake up surrounded by warmth. The streams of sunlight coming in from your window thanks to your slightly parted curtains bathe your skin in gold, along with the thick duvet thrown over your body, and the thick arms wrapped around your waist. 

For a second, you forget everything that happened last night. 

The way you were panicking and how it escalated to kissing, touching, marking; how your lips wrapped around his thick and long length and how Jeongguk’s fingers pushed you past the edge. You can’t believe it. That one of your childhood best friends is lying in bed next to you right now.  A man who made you feel so good that you want another taste. 

You cringe at your thoughts. You’re really starting to sound like Mrs. Robinson right now. 

Turning your body in his grasp, you face Jeongguk who has been hugging you from behind. His cheek is pressed into the soft pillow, puffed up a bit so his lips look extra pouty. His eyes are peacefully shut, body raising with his breath, and his shirt is all ruffled from him moving around so his collarbones are slightly exposed. You can see the marks you left on him, vibrant and pretty against his honey colored skin. 

Without thinking, your hand picks up to gently glide over the surface. The skin feels the same but internally, you feel waves of smug, almost masculine, pride at the sight of them. As if you’ve branded the guy to be yours. 

Your cup his right cheek, smoothing underneath his eye with your thumb. There’s a little tug with the thin skin, slightly sagging with a lack of sleep, but he looks so beautiful and peaceful like this. Jeongguk has amazing eyebrows; full, dark and perfectly shaped. You run your thumb over thick short hairs before pushing some of the hair messily strewn over his forehead out of the way. Strands silky and smelling of his shampoo.  

As another finger goes to trace his earrings like the pieces of a wind chime, Jeongguk stirs. A soft whine barely leaves him before he’s tugging you closer so that your head is tucked into the crook of his neck. 

His arms wind around you tightly, squeezing you just a bit and forcing a laugh out of you. 

“Hey,” you call, feeling like a boa constrictor has coiled itself around you. 

Jeongguk murmurs under his breath. “Five more minutes.” 

“But I can’t breathe.”

“Figure it out.” 

“Jeongguk,” you giggled, playing with a lock of dark hair that was all fluffy without a brush, tugging slightly to get him further out of sleep.  “Cmon, you’re already half awake.” 

There’s a fullness in your bladder. You need to pee and fix your hair and brush your teeth and make yourself look presentable before Jeongguk can actually take a good look at you. And breakfast too. You’re hungry. 

“Which means I’m also half asleep.” 

“Hmm but you’re responding in full sentences.” 

“Ugh,” he rolls over and away from you, something you instantly regret. “Okay, fine. I’m awake.”

His hair is a birds nest on top of his head, sticking up all over the place, but a thought crosses your mind of Jeongguk with a perm. A perm and longer hair, framing his face in a shaggy 90s style, and your insides turn to mush. 

Anything would probably suit him with a face like that. 

And his body is absolute perfection. You get the urge to reach under the covers, under the fabric of his shirt and feel his stomach once more. Like you’re confirming the presence of steel cut abs and wide shoulders and squishable pecs. 

“Sleep okay?” You ask him, turning on your side to watch his chest expand and recede with his breathing. 

Jeongguk nods, rubbing one of his eyes. “Like a baby. You?” His head turns to face you and he’s got this dreamy, half-awake, smile on his lips that makes you melt. 

“Same.”

You want to kiss his cheek and snuggle into the warmth of his chest. Jeongguk was so comfortable to sleep next to you and his body, while taut, is huggable like a giant teddy bear. He didn’t mind you clinging to him at first, slowly turning away when it got too hot or you wanted to change positions. It was honestly some of the best sleep you’ve gotten. 

Carefully peeling the covers off, you stretch your arms up to crack all of the tightened areas. 

“I’ll put out a disposable toothbrush for you and,” you turn around to find Jeongguk slowly sitting up, looking cute with your patterned sheets underneath him, “then we can talk about breakfast. Are you a savory or sweet kind of guy?”

Jeongguk’s eyes flutter upwards in thought, lips quirking to one side. “Hmmm, I usually have savory but I’ll try sweet.”

“Awesome. Waffles?”

“Hell yeah.” 

The rest of your morning is pretty simple after that. Almost as if Jeongguk never slept over. You do your regular routine and leave the bathroom to him. You feed Snowball and give her as much attention and love as she desires. She’s chirpy in the morning and the minute Jeongguk emerges from the bathroom, you’re forgotten news. 

She trots over to him, fluffy tail bouncing, and flops onto her side as Jeongguk pets her side and scratches her cheeks and under her neck. 

You can’t help but stare at the scene with a warm gooey smile on your face. Jeongguk has always loved animals and seeing him interact with them is such a soft, sweet, beautiful moment. 

Going back to the kitchen cabinets, you pull out your waffle maker and make a few with the batch you’ve prepared. Some with chocolate chips sprinkled inside. Knowing Jeongguk, you put out some chopped fruit, bacon, and make some fluffy eggs. You want him to be full and happy when he leaves. 

Plus, you like doing stuff like this; cooking for people and making them happy.  It’s fun. 

Jeongguk strolls into the room, humming a song under his breath and pausing when he sees the spread you’ve put out for the two of you. Looking like a continental buffet at a hotel. Your head turns and you smile as he stares down at the steaming plates. 

“Wait…I should’ve helped you. I’m sorry,” he pouts, twisting his fingers at the base of his stomach. 

The stove is turned off when you walk closer to him. Droplets of water cascade down his neck and you can see the bright wine colored hickeys you left on him last night on his honey skin. The sight is delectable. You want to mark him again, mark him even more, but also don’t want to get too hasty with how much you touch him. It was a one-off after all. 

You wave it off. “Let me do this for you,” chiding, you push him to take his plate over to the coffee table/desk thing you’ve got then grab yours. “Now let’s. Do you want coffee later?” 

He shakes his head, hair swishing with his movements. “Trying to cut back on that. It’s worsening my anxiety.” 

You pause. “I didn’t know you had anxiety.” The air sizzles in silence, the only noise cutting through being the sound of your plate hitting the surface of your table. Snowball chomps on the pellets of her food. Your backs collide with the edge of your bed, shoulders brushing, knees inches apart with your legs crossed over each other, and all you can smell is Jeongguk. 

His cheeks get pinker, pursing his lips while starting on his food. “Yeah. I was diagnosed in high school. Working out helped a lot with it and same with gaming and sketching but the more I drink coffee, the more anxious I get.” 

“Oh… I’m sorry.” You wilt next to him. 

You know how bad it can get. You’ve seen your friends struggle with it, having attacks before a large test or getting fidgety in public spaces. It’s terrible. 

“S’ok. I’m doing a lot better than before.” You watch out of the corner of your eye as Jeongguk eats. He’s nonchalant about it which calms you. “Taehyung tried to get me into smoking weed with him but I feel like that would worsen it.” 

Snickering, you start eating too. The image of a relaxed Taehyung and a paranoid Jeongguk, when it’s usually the complete opposite, is sort of hilarious. 

“Yeah,” you laugh. “Weed is either amazing for people with anxiety or it will literally give you a panic attack. Especially if you smoke too much.” Thinking back to your first year of college, when you decided to go crazy by smoking a joint and from a pipe and then from a bong, while in the middle of a forest on a camping trip. 

Safe to say, you thought someone was going to come out of the bushes and beat your ass for smoking underage. Jeongyeon had to take you back to the dorms and help you calm down. It was bad. 

But it was a learning lesson and you know to pace yourself with weed now. Unlike your friends, you don’t do it as often. It’s great when you’re plastered though or if you want to really enjoy a meal. 

Jeongguk laughs with you. Then his eyes focus on something and you stop halfway when bringing the fork of food to your mouth. Raising an eyebrow in question, he just reaches over to tuck your hair out of face and behind your ear. 

“You can say no but,” he exhales, fixating on the way your lips pout just a bit as you chew, “I really want to kiss you right now. Can I?” 

Then your stomach flips. 

He’s such a good guy, you think. You aren’t used to being around good guys. 

Probably because deep down you think you’ll ruin them or you don’t deserve them but hey, you’re no therapist. 

Jeongguk is too good. He’s too sweet and you just know that whatever brew of emotions that is bubbling up in you screams trouble but you simply can’t hold yourself back. Not when he looks this cute and soft and pretty in your room, asking politely to do your hair for you, eating the food you made him after a night of passion. 

Swallowing whatever was in your mouth, you drop your fork on the plate and get up on your knees. Jeongguk’s reaction is comical. His eyes widen like he’s going to get yelled at, hands jumping to his sides but that is far from the truth. 

Instead, you settle on his lap, wrists crossed behind his neck to toy with the back of his soft hair. 

“Wh–did I–” he doesn’t even get to finish. You kiss Jeongguk briefly on the nose. 

His eyes blink largely at you, bouncing down to your lips in a silent plea, and who are you to say no to someone like Jeongguk who asked so kindly? Leaning back down, gently connecting your lips with his in a soft slow kiss. He meets your movements, smooth lips kissing you back wetly while his hands move to your hips. 

You don’t mean to get lost in the kiss but it’s quite hard. Jeongguk is really good at kissing and his body's so warm against yours. Pressing closer, you try to lick into his mouth to deepen the kiss but Jeongguk’s hands slip down and grip your ass harshly. 

Gasping, you pull away. An unexpected action from him since he was so careful and gentle with you last night but you liked it. 

The sheer thought of him getting rougher with you has you wet. 

You decide to finally answer his question. “You can do whatever you want with me.”

“Whatever I want?” He teases back. 

“Mhmm.”

Jeongguk pushes some hair out of your eyes. “Giving me all of that power is a bit dangerous, you know?” And even though he’s joking and you know that, you take it literally, wanting him to know this before he leaves. 

Because it’s the wholehearted truth. 

“I trust you, though. I trust you a lot.” 

Jeongguk isn’t going to treat you like most of the men in your life. He won’t discard you for someone better, stringing you along with kind words just to get you to do what they want, and leave you broken hearted. He simply isn’t that kind of guy. He’s sweet and patient and attentive. The kind of guy you should be going after. 

Sadly it’s taken you this long to realize it and this much hurt for you to change but it’s a start. 

His eyes glimmer at you from your spot. You almost don’t want to get up because of how breathtaking his eyes look reflecting the stars hidden by the light. 

“I know you won’t hurt me,” you continue, enamored. “So do what you want and if I don’t like it, I’ll tell you, okay?” Cupping his round, soft cheeks in your hands, you wait for nod. A slow, sure, steady one to cement this declaration right then and there. 

Just as you lean down for another searing kiss, your phone starts blaring from your bed. The alarm you forgot to switch off. Fuck. 

With a groan, you press the off button and your normal phone lock screen shows a notification from your mother. Still on Jeongguk’s lap, you press on it to read her text. 

mom 

stopping by in thirty

wanted to drop off some kimchi before i go back home

Fuck, you forgot. Your mom had an offsite trip for work in Incheon and before going back to your apartment, she wanted to give you some food for the weekend since your apartment was in between. 

There’s no way she’ll let it slide that Jeongguk slept the night and your mom is no idiot. With all of the hickeys on his neck and the awkward we-wanna-fuck tension that is ever building between you two after last night’s taste, you’ll be getting grilled till you’re on your deathbed.  

Quickly, you send her a thumbs up and toss your phone onto your bed, then look down at Jeongguk’s confused, cute face. “My mom is coming over in thirty minutes. Do you think we can finish by then?”

“F-finish what?” 

You’re confused for a whole second until you remember you’re on his lap and you were just making out with him. A soft giggle leaves your lips before you press another kiss to his nose and a quick kiss to his pouty lips. 

“Finish eating.” Finger trailing along the soft cut of Jeongguk’s jawline, flicking the hanging hoops in his ears. “Sorry baby, we’ll have to reschedule the other thing.” 

The pet name flies out once more but you’re less upset about it. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, his reddened ears tell you quite the opposite. 

You try to get up once more but Jeongguk’s arms wind tightly around you. With a soft thud, your ass hits his lap again. He isn’t hard and his sweatpants are thicker than you remember it to be so you don’t feel anything. But the action still surprises you. 

“You can still stay here and eat with me.” He demands petulantly. Big eyes, the roundest nose, cutest cheeks, and all of those moles scattered across his face like stars in the sky. 

And how can you say no? 

Breakfast is finished with you perched on his lap delicately, back against Jeongguk’s chest, while watching some random children’s cartoons that happened to be playing this early. It’s comfortable, almost intimate to be eating this close to each other and not have it be sexual. You had fully expected things to get raunchy today, especially when you were kissing, and usually when you stay over with a hookup, morning sex is promised. 

Considering the extraneous variables, that can’t happen today, so you imagined Jeongguk would drop the closeness and go back to being platonic to you. Having him do the opposite is surprising. 

You really like it. 

Jeongguk’s chest is warm, broad, firm with muscle, and he smells like a mixture of his own scent and your skincare products. His arms fit snugly around you, like you can melt into his touch without another thought. You love the way he feels. So much so that tearing apart to let him leave is borderline painful. 

Snowball has it especially rough. She rubs her head against Jeongguk’s calf, purring and trilling fyr him to stay and pet her when he’s posted by the door. 

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry,” Jeongguk coos, tugging at her cheeks and smoothing over the area. 

You want to cry at the visual. 

The walk down is silent. Your keys jingle in your hands, shoes tapping on the linoleum floor, and Jeongguk doesn’t say much until the elevator takes the two of you to the lobby and outside your apartment building. It’s a slightly overcast day out. The sun peeks through the clouds and happens to land right on Jeongguk, illuminating him like an angel. 

“So uh… I’ll see you on Monday, yeah?”

You nod slowly. “See you.”

Fuck it, you think, stepping off the platform leading into the lobby and wrapping Jeongguk in a quick hug. Arms around his neck, hugging him close to your body and giving him a firm squeeze. 

Jeongguk returns it quickly, like a reflex. It’s soft, warm, and just what you needed before letting him go. 

Just before your arms slip, you kiss the mole on his neck once, and slowly push off. You really don’t want to. You feel so safe whenever he touches you and smiles at you but you really don’t have any other choice. 

“Bye noona.”

“Bye.” 

Jeongguk’s departure is quick, waving bye as he crosses the street to get to the subway station further down the block. But you still feel the lingering ghost of his lips and touch on your skin. Almost like you’re savoring it for one more second. 

And you’re so caught up that you don’t even notice the camera aimed at you that’s been snapping pictures for the past ten minutes. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The day had been weird the moment your foot stepped onto campus. 

Being the esteemed rebound girl meant that people looked at you. Mostly men but you still got glances, sexual ones or judgy ones or interested ones. Not that you’re bragging, you never warranted them in the first place as they always come with negative intentions, but the glances you were getting today felt different. People were whispering, more than usual, and it was starting to bother you.

The first thing you did was check to see if you were wearing pants. Which you were so we can count accidental nudity off the list. 

 Then you rushed to the bathroom to check if you accidentally sat on a chocolate bar or bled through your jeans or your bra is showing through your shirt or there’s a line of toilet paper stuck to your shoe. 

It has to be a physical issue. Otherwise people would be reacting like this, right?

But you didn’t find anything on you. Not even a smudge of mascara. 

 It’s weird because you’re dressed rather simply. A black hoodie with some light wash jeans since you were in the middle of your period and didn’t want to deal with putting in effort today. What the fuck is everyone’s problem then? 

Looking down, you walk as fast as you can from class to class, barely talking to anyone besides your  friends and only if absolutely necessary. In between classes you have your earbuds in and you avoid any eye contact. Even during discussions, you sit in the back and draw in the margins, not even bothering to listen and contemplating leaving early. A group of girls that you recognize to be from Juri’s group are being especially nasty, giggling whenever you look in their general vicinity. 

This is starting to get really annoying. 

With a half a mind to ask them what’s so fucking funny, discussion ends early and you have a lunch date with the rest of your friends so you bolt out of there, slamming your lunch tray down on the table with much confusion from your two friends. You explain it to them while eating in hopes that they can crack the code too. 

“Maybe they think you’re pretty,” Nayeon tries. 

“I didn’t even put foundation on. I highly doubt they think I’m pretty,” you mumble the last bit, crossing your arms over the table and resting your forehead on them. “They’re laughing at me.”

Like a fly buzzing by your ear, their giggles irritate you beyond comprehension.  

Embarrassing. That’s the best way to describe the surface of how you feel. Embarrassed and paranoid and scared because of how everyone seems to be in on a joke except for you. 

For a second, you go back to the insecure teenager in high school who just wanted someone around. Who wanted love and affection and popularity because who fucking doesn’t at that age?  Only for all of those popular cool kids to be making fun of you, laughing at your expense, and reminding you of everything you were insecure about. This feels just like that. 

“Do you think Wooshik did something?”

You look up, scanning the cafeteria for a mop of black hair and he’s chilling with his new girl who he’s been absolutely obsessed with judging by his expression. He looks like he’s having the time of his life ever since you two ended your little spat.

Wooshik is petty but only when he’s been slighted. If he’s happy then he’s pretty harmless. So there’s no way it’s him. 

“Nah. There has to be something else.” You start picking at the skin on the side of your thumb, where it’s gotten a bit dry thanks to the change in weather. 

The cafeteria is loud today, more people opting to stay inside rather than walk around for a restaurant to eat at since it’s bound to start raining any time soon. It feels like millions of people crowd in every pocket of space available yet your brain fixates on the eyes trained on you. Like they are all pointing, laughing, guffawing at whatever joke they are making at your expense. You start to sweat, feeling cornered in your spot. 

You should be used to this being the college’s rebound girl but everyone’s disdain for you has never been so apparent. People stuck to their occasional disapproving looks and maybe, there was a low comment when news of you hooking up with another person circled the campus but it’s never been this bad before. 

All of the worst possible outcomes form inside your head. Did someone sneak into your house and take nude photos of you? Maybe someone from your high school came and told some bullshit story? 

What else could the reason be?

“Hey guys.” Jeongguk smiles, setting down a cup of instant noodles and pulling you out of your spiral. “Taehyung and Jimin are in the bathroom but they’ll be here soon.” Gently, he plops next to you and the scent of him is enough to calm you down. 

Familiar, sweet and soft as always. 

And he looks great in a navy blue Nike hoodie and black jeans, oversized as always, but you’re one of the few people that knows what he looks like underneath all of those clothes. 

So much honey toned skin; a chiseled stomach and chest; defined arms and legs; gorgeous, truly gorgeous. 

Jeongyeon furrows her eyebrows at him. “Why aren’t you eating the cafeteria food?” She asks with concern. 

“Ah, I'm not super hungry. I had a big breakfast,” Jeongguk waves off, showing the ⅔ full cup of ramen he had. “I’m probably gonna go home early too since I have a League of Legends match with my team soon.” 

You nod in response, half-listening. Jeongguk had explained his gaming league thing to you a few days ago. He used to be on a team for fun but he’s currently trying to join a semi-professional one for fun since he isn’t in any clubs or organizations on campus. Not that Jeongguk is particularly interested in those but, these gaming leagues have been calling out to him for a while.

Anyways, this game is supposed to serve as kind of an audition and if he does well enough, he’s in. You silently hope for his success. 

Then there’s a gentle nudge at your side. “How’d you do on the physics quiz?” Jeongguk asks, taking some steaming noodles to his mouth with a pair of perfectly split chopsticks. 

“100%.” You beamed. It was a shock to you when you saw the score online but mostly relieving. 

“Yay, that’s great.” Jeongguk held out a palm for a high-five which you reciprocated, wishing you could just kiss him. The way he smiles so brightly was enough to get you to forget about all of the eyes on you, almost increasing when you started interacting with him. “Knew you could do it.”

“Well I’d have to thank my tutor.”   

His eyes roll. “Sure but I barely did anything. You knew most of it already.” 

Nayeon and Jeongyeon laugh at the face you make, then prompt Jeongguk to try to get him to start tutoring them. When he asks what subject, they just say all of them, which makes him cutely blush for some reason. He’s a deadly mix of cute, adorable, sweet, hot and sexy and you cannot handle when each of those characteristics hit you in one go. 

You almost start to tease him about it when a set of two drop harshly onto the table’s bench with an air of annoyance around them. Suddenly, all of the bright happiness floats away. 

“Jeongguk, have you been lying to me?” Taehyung asks point blank with a hurt expression on his face. Jeongguk’s smile begins to fade. 

“About what? You know I was just joking when I said your orange hair looked funny–”

The brunette’s frown deepens. “Not about that. I mean about the girl who supposedly dumped you? And who the fuck is RG anyways?” Taehyung asks with a shake of his head, coffee colored tufts swishing in the wind.   

RG?

“What?” Jeongguk’s chin pulls back.Your panic is instant. “What are you talking about?”

Jimin cuts in with an annoyed groan. “Some guy in the bathroom was telling us about a rumor going around that this older girl dumped you and now you’re sleeping with someone else to get back at her.” Your stomach drops. No, this can’t be happening. “Apparently it was posted on some forum called–”

“GossipLeaks,” Jeongyeon supplies. The younger three look at her in confusion while Nayeon cringes. “It's this depraved site where losers with no social skills sit and refresh the page for drama from every department to fill the void inside of them instead of getting a job. Usually a person will upload a picture or start a thread and people will exchange gossip, start gossip, discuss gossip or talk shit until their fingers start bleeding. It’s hell on earth.” 

You hate that fucking site so much. It played a huge role in creating your reputation after all. 

Almost every single person on campus is there. Nayeon went slightly viral when she dumped her situationship for Jeongyeon by throwing a smoothie over his head after he said something rude to her. Someone threatened to leak their ex’s nudes to the website because they were cheated on.  Incels crowd on so they can hate on women while others live for the gossip, scrolling relentlessly to point and laugh even though their lives aren’t anything to be proud of. 

It has yet to be taken down since nothing bad is actually exchanged besides harsh words but the site is barely moderated. Not as much as it should be. 

Anyone who crosses a line has the potential to be sued but since most college students are broke, the possibility is rare. Sounds amazing, right? 

Now poor Jeongguk is at the receiving end. You can’t believe someone is lying about sleeping with him and about him rebounding with someone else. Jeongguk hasn’t even had sex before and (as far as you know) you’re the only person who has touched him. Who could do something like this?

“Show me the post,” he asks, resting his elbows on the table’s surface.  

Jimin searches it up on his phone and then places the device down, scrolling through the threads with a small pointer finger and clicking on one, then turning it towards you two. 

The pictures take a second to load but reading the post header was enough to make your mouth run dry. 

RG’s newest conquest: some loser 2nd year that was brutally dumped by Social Sciences student representative Kim Juri over the summer.

Oh great, Juri spread the rumor. Now you have the perfect reason to manifest her getting shit on by a bird. 

“Wh–” you can’t even finish your sentence. The pictures load and it’s even worse than you imagined. 

First is the two of you standing outside of your apartment building. There’s a breath of distance between your bodies and you’re laughing at something he said. His face crinkles as well, the dimples on his cheeks pop out. It looks friendly but it can easily be misconstrued. 

And the second one is of the two of you hugging, squished together like you’re trying to become one whole person, and that seals the deal. 

Your heart drops to the heels of your feet. You’re RG. Of course you’re fucking RG. Rebound Girl = RG. It’s practically part of your identity.

Suddenly, everything is making sense. The people laughing, staring at you; it’s another scandal all over again only this time, you roped in someone you actually cared about instead of someone broken hearted you decided to sleep with a few times. Now his name is soured by the stench of your bad decisions. 

You want to cry. You didn’t–you couldn’t drag Jeongguk or anyone else for the matter into your mess. 

It was always your problem to handle on your own. It was always your cross to bear. The guys you fucked never mattered once it was all said and done. Most of the time, they got street cred or they were praised while you were the dirty slut so it wasn’t like you could feel bad for them. They were always painted as the winners. But you’re terrified of what this could do for Jeongguk. 

Would he get harassed? Made fun of for giving in easily? Would he lose his chances of finding someone he actually likes this year? 

Would he want nothing to do with you afterwards?

You begin to panic, spiraling deep into the depths of your self-hating brain. How could you miss someone snapping a picture of you two in broad daylight? You should’ve done better. 

This is the worst possible thing you could imagine coming out of hanging with Jeongguk is that he would become privy to the mess that is your social life. A small part of your brain even considered this, especially after Jeongguk rejected Juri but you let it go and now you’re pissed because you should’ve been smarter. 

You should’ve pushed him away, studied on your own that night. No, you should’ve been more careful. 

You should’ve never thought you could openly hang out with him and not suffer the consequences. What were you thinking?

Once everyone has read the post, Jimin takes his phone back and continues scrolling through. No one says anything for a moment, then:

“Guys, don’t believe a word that comes out of Kim Juri’s lying mouth. She hates us,” Nayeon motions to you, her and Jeongyeon, “and she’ll do anything to make other people follow suit. Trust me.” She stresses, even abandoning her meal to reiterate. Jeongyeon nods animatedly. But the problem is much deeper than that. 

You wanted to be friends but she never entertained the idea after you got labeled as the rebound girl. Constantly tormenting you, throwing your promiscuity in your face, and denying your efforts to reconcile. 

At some point, you grew some humility and dropped the idea of you and Juri ever getting along. You’re a girl's girl but you also don’t hate yourself to desperately pine over some mean girl’s approval. 

So, now things have turned out like this.  

This is so annoyingly unfair. It's tiring  living like this, pretending like you aren’t bothered and that taking the high ground will benefit you. All you do is let Juri get away because you know deep down that fighting back has no point. 

“What a loser,” Jimin curses, turning to you with that apologetic look on his soft features. 

Taehyung does the same. “Yeah, she must have a lot of free time on her hands if this is all she does.” 

You return their kind words with a weak but meaningful smile. It doesn’t make the storm brewing up inside of you go away. It just makes things worse. Because yes, Juri is a loser but she’s only a loser in your eyes. Everyone else sees her as the complete opposite. People will always be on her side. She’s done great PR to make you look like a dick-thirsty, back-stabbing bitch. There’s no way anyone would support you. 

At the least, you’d have your two friends but Jeongguk and Jimin and Taehyung don’t need to be dragged into this war with Juri. Let them have fun, mess around, and be normal college kids while you take the heat. It’s always been that way after all. 

Jeongyeon snorts. “She’ll get some karma in return for all of this. I can just feel it.” 

There’s a slight lull in the conversation. You feel like the boys are doing their best to hold back from asking the question, the one that you really don’t want them to, while your friends are doing their best to maintain the light composure that was just there. 

It’s coming. That question. You know it is. 

Those words were blatantly on the screen and they aren’t idiots. They’re probably connecting the dots as you sit here and panic about it and you simply cannot handle those words coming from their mouths. Especially Jeongguk’s. 

Considering you watched him grow up, he’s the last person you’d want to know about being the rebound girl. 

Jeongguk’s mouth opens. You can practically see the cogs and wheels in his brain turn and that’s it for you.  

Immediately, you get up from your spot. They all look at you, concerned and confused. There’s a heavy layer of pity that now disgusts you too much for you to stay. 

“I should go,” you mumble, grabbing your things as quickly as possible. 

All of their faces morph into shock. “What?” The three boys say at the same time. 

“Babe, no, it’s fine.” Jeongyeon tries but you’ve already finished your food and your phone and bag are slung over your shoulder. 

A single touch grazes the back of your hand. “Noona, you don’t have to–”

You shake your head and dip your eyes down, refusing to be reasonable. 

“I’ll talk to you guys later. Bye.” 

This is for the best. 

Put some distance between you and Jeongguk, let the rumor die down a little, and then maybe you can hang out with him in private. Obviously no more kissing or hooking up so you’ll have to force whatever is growing inside of you to die off but you can do that. Yeah, no problem.  

Then Jeongguk can find a girl he really likes and be with her without the implications of whatever went on between the two of you looming over his head and ruining his chances. 

You turn and exit the cafeteria before anyone can stop you, taking long strides and putting a surgical mask over your face to block out your features. You even draw your hood up and shove earbuds in so you wouldn’t have to hear anymore whispers. 

Although the effort is futile; all your brain does is repeat the same words over and over again. 

Slut. 

Whore. 

Rebound girl. 

They’re starting to become synonymous with your name. Maybe you should stop pretending like you’re anything different and just accept the name for what it is. Maybe Junho was right after all. Seojoon too. 

Maybe you’re good for nothing else but a fun romp every once in a while. A tight hole and a soft wet mouth, pliant for any man who gives you attention because you’re so desperate for it, desperate for love. 

You always thought that you were hardwired wrong by always believing men when they tell you that they’re broken and beg for you to lick their wounds. That you simply just never learn from your mistakes no matter how intense they get because of that idiotic faulty screw in your skull that wants you to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. 

But maybe, you’re simply an awful person. 

Maybe you don’t actually care about the guys. You just have some shitty savior complex turned into a hunger for hurting men. Maybe you’re an awful person who deserves this. 

Before you can stop it, tears stream down your cheeks, rolling down your neck and underneath your hoodie as you walk as fast as you can towards the subway station. That tightness in your chest worsening as the very last bits of strength you were holding onto crumble into nothing. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The hangout was extremely impromptu. 

Jeongguk hadn’t seen you for the rest of the week and he was starting to get worried. You had responded to his texts in short, curt words, saying you were sick and that your professors were emailing you PDFs of classwork so there was no need to pick up anything. When he offered to bring some soup, you declined once more saying your mom was already bringing some and since then, he hasn’t found another excuse to come see you. 

It hurt. It hurt watching you get hurt, it hurt watching you hold back tears as you ran off to hide your hurt and it fucking hurts watching you pretend like everything is okay when it’s not. 

Jeongguk doesn’t care about the rumor. So what if people were staring and he got teased every now and then? It’s not true so it didn’t matter. 

But he realized, seeing your reaction, that the two of you were getting treated differently. 

While everyone was praising him for getting laid by “rebound girl,” and other girls began debating his potential in bed, you were getting vilified beyond anything. He heard girls in his class degrade you, calling you a slut, a whore, saying that you’d sleep with anyone if it gave you enough attention. Jeongguk would glare in their direction, scaring them off, but the whispers still swirled around him. 

After that, he wanted that stupid website to be filled with malware and be destroyed. Hell, he’d do it himself if that wasn’t a cybercrime. This whole thing has been blown way out of proportion. 

And, holy shit, the things men have been saying to him… 

It’s honestly disgusting. 

Ayyy, get it Jeon!

Knew you were a fucking stallion behind that nerdy look you got goin on.

Did she suck you off? I heard she’s really good with her mouth.

Someone came up to him and expressed regret that Jeongguk was the first and only second year to get with rebound girl, claiming he wanted to be the first but because you’re so picky, he couldn’t. Jeongguk had almost punched him but Taehyung held him back, reminding him that he could lose his scholarship too if he stooped too low. 

He hates this and he hates that you have to go through something like this. 

For the past few days, all Jeongguk could think about was how strong you were. He doesn’t know how you got this nickname, why it’s such a big deal to everyone around you, but he wished it never happened. Thanks to this rumor, you had to grow a thick skin so that you could simply be you and not have to worry about other people but unfortunately, misogyny is rampant. It made you become strong, become resilient, and he wishes that it wasn’t because of that. 

Jeongguk thought up some kind of plan to get Juri to take the post down or to publicly clear the air but he also didn’t want to play the white knight, trampling all over a situation that barely involved him. Stepping on your toes by trying to solve this could only hurt you further. 

So all he could do was wait. 

Wait for you to text back, wait for you to reappear. 

Jeongguk grows antsy and he tries to distract himself from worrying. School isn’t helping one bit so he plays games and goes to the gym as much as he can. And when that doesn’t work well–

Thankfully, his friends are an interesting bunch which brings him back to the reason why this whole hang out started. 

Nayeon and Jeongyeon were walking over with Jimin while Taehyung was hounding Jeongguk at the campus entrance over something he absolutely hates doing: buying weed. 

“C’mon, he’s literally giving it to you for free!” Taehyung whined, showing the text on Jeongguk’s phone to him like he hasn’t already read it, eyes rolling at his friends’ desperation. 

Let’s get one thing clear: Jeongguk has no problem with weed. He almost had an edible once by complete accident but he spit the rest out the minute his cousin told him that the gummy was laced with contraband so the effect didn’t do much for him. Being friends with these two dipshits means that the smell constantly follows him and he’s used to dealing with their giggly asses every now and then. Taehyung has a bong hidden in his apartment while Jimin aptly had a bright pink pipe patterned with cats all over it but he dropped it and loudly sobbed when the thing cracked in half. 

He isn’t a goody-two shoes but, speaking candidly, he’s never really felt the need to do it. 

It’s the same with alcohol. Jeongguk doesn’t get the urge to sit down with a beer and crack one open after a long day nor does he ever want to get shitfaced for fun. He needs to have complete control over himself and everything he does and everything he says because he gets the feeling that he’d be the type to tell someone his PIN number when inebriated or irritate everyone with his antics which is probably related to his anxiety but whatever. So nothing about the practice is relaxing to him. Getting drunk or high can actually make Jeongguk really fucking nervous but his peers disagree. 

Especially Taehyung who is a staunch believer that smoking weed is the best way to calm down and that food tastes better when high. Jeongguk is a bit curious about that last bit. 

But back to the begging. To make a long fucking story short: Jeongguk knows a dealer. 

Not voluntarily. A seedy 3rd year who he also tutored over the summer made sure to let Jeongguk know that he would give him some free shit he wanted as payback for all of the help passing Chemistry. Never did he think he’d take the guy up on his offer until now. 

Taehyung filled everyone in on the backstory and now Jeongguk has four people begging him like dogs wanting a treat. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing in irritation. 

“What if I get caught?” He asked; the most important question. 

Jimin countered back. “You won’t. He’s literally going to hand you a regular-ass bag and no one will suspect a thing. We can take it from you as soon as you get back here and smoke some today,” he offered, met with cheers of approval.  

Jeongguk’s chest twists. He wishes you were here to help. You were still nowhere to be found and he misses you so much. You’d probably laugh that cute laugh of yours, egg Jeongguk on with the rest of them but have concern in your pretty eyes to let him know that this wasn’t peer pressure. That he could say no and it wouldn’t be a bad thing. 

Unfortunately, he has to face this alone. 

Jeongguk gives the two girls a surprised look. “Did you two already finish your tin of edibles?” 

“Nah, we’re gonna save that for midterms so we can get zonked and watch Shark Tale while eating fried chicken.”  Jeongyeon answers, tugging  Nayeon close. 

“Awww,” Taehyung pouted. “Can we do that?” Turning to his boyfriend and gently gripping the sleeve of his shirt. 

Jimin winked at the younger. “Whatever you want baby,” then turned to the other, “but only if Einstein over here can grow some balls and say yes.” Taehyung directs his puckered lips towards him, batting his eyelashes like a cartoon character. 

Jeongguk is a weak man. He can be a people pleaser but only to those who he loves. His sisters, you and his two best friends fall into that category. 

Because one pout from Taehyung and he folds, like the weak man he is. 

“Fuck, fine. I’ll ask,” he unlocks his phone and texts the dude. “But only once! Just go to your trusted guy after this, okay?”

Taehyung and Jimin salute him. “Yes sir!” 

Jeongguk texts the guy to hand it over to him after his last class after lunch, who was more than happy to supply the guy who helped him pass his summer classes. In fact, he looked proud, jabbing Jeongguk with his pointy elbow and saying that he’s finally pulling that stick out of his ass. Whatever, Jeongguk is not that uptight. He can have fun in lots of other ways!

But  Jimin was right. The smell is barely there and the bag itself looks inconspicuous. His curiosity took over him to peek inside while walking with the others. There was a silver tin, a bag of powdered weed, a pack of peach ring edibles and two brownies. 

“Fuck, this is so much,” Jeongyeon marvels at the bag as they reach the outside of ana apartment building, pulling out the silver tin and gasping when it opens up to a set of rolled joints. “Oh my, he gave you pre-rolled joints! We’re hitting these right now.” 

Which is how Jeongguk found himself in Nayeon's studio apartment. Sitting around a coffee table with the spiked food and her TV playing Sailor Moon. He did his best to not think about how her room looked a lot like yours with all of the cute stuffed animals and posters and how her little pomeranian dog yapped happily whenever he gave it attention. The bed that he’s leaning against reminds him of the same bed where the two of you laid while your lips and hands and tongue made him feel things he’s never felt before. 

Jeongguk can’t stop thinking about you. It takes all of his restraint not to shoot you a text, not to associate everything he sees with memories of you and that night in particular. 

But he should stop so he idiotically doesn’t pop a boner with everyone else around. Thinking of you usually does that for him. 

So he focuses on the clouds of smoke blown right in front of his face as Nayeon starts on the joint. She coughs just a bit, then passes it to Jeongyeon who takes two indulgent puffs and then passes it to Taehyung and then Jimin.  Their eyes glaze over, tension from the long school day disappearing as the drugs take their effect. 

“You wanna try it?” Jimin asks, holding the flamed stick towards Jeongguk. He stares down at it, then up at his friends’ reddened eyes. 

Does he?

Everyone else seems so relaxed and Jeongguk could use some relaxation. Besides, it won’t kill him to take one hit. He’s surrounded by seasoned potheads so they’ll know what to do. It’ll be fine. Everything is fine. Maybe he’ll stop fretting over you and relax. Clear his brain for once.

Carefully, he places the tip between his lips and Taehyung explains the process. Inhale, hold it for a bit, exhale slowly. It’s supposed to burn at first and then it’ll get better. He coughs like a motherfucker and his throat might as well be on fire. But he drinks some water, tries again, and it’s a lot easier. 

Weed has a particular taste that Jeongguk doesn’t mind. The smoke is somewhat bitter on his tongue and then earthy. He feels nothing then, five minutes later, he gets this lightness in his chest and head. Or a fuzziness is more like it.  He’s almost sleepy and really hungry. Jeongguk begins devouring a packet of chocolate covered pretzels and then scarfing down two slices of pizza right after eating lunch only two hours ago. Those two things have never tasted so good before. 

Jeongguk also finds that weed makes him giggly. Like really giggly. 

He spent two minutes laughing at the way his toes looked with his toe socks on. Then about how long Taehyung’s fingers are in comparison to Jimin’s, then about the word duty (hilarious) to the point of tears springing from his eyes. Then Jeongyeon wanted to paint his nails which Jeongguk was all for and he chose a metallic midnight blue which she skilfully painted before starting on the others. Taehyung got maroon and Jimin got lilac.

Afterwards, the conversation lulled and their stomachs were full. Most of them were on the brink of falling asleep until Jimin proposed they all play a game. 

It was basically the game Hot Takes but without any cards with prompts and dividing up into teams. Basically each person had to share a “hot take,” or an opinion/commentary that’s uncommon or meant to start a debate. 

Which is a great game to play when the entire gang is not sober. 

Taehyung started off with a simple one: people who don’t like pineapple on pizza are immature babies. This sparked quite the argument to the point where Jeongyeon was questioning their friendship before the timer went off. Then she shared hers. 

Men who don’t like cats are red flags. This is factually true though. No one really disagreed so they moved on. 

Then Jimin went. His was: Men who refuse to listen to female artists are also raging red flags. Very much true. No debate there. 

Then Jeongguk: Vanilla is the worst ice cream flavor.  It tastes like a candle. Like nothing. Jeongguk hates tasteless things. Some agreed with him, Jimin glared at him from the side but his cheeks were puffed with food so he’s nowhere near as intimidating as he’d think.

Then came Nayeon. She cleared her throat, then popped a green tea kit kat in her mouth. “As someone who has hooked up with both men and women, I can surely say that men don’t know how to give head.” She says confidently. 

Silence rings in the air for a moment. Jeongyeon is sitting smug next to her girlfriend, while Jimin and Taehyung look confused. 

And Jeongguk…well, he’s a bit confused too.

“Excuse you, I give great head,” Jimin places a hand on his chest, offended. “Have you seen these luscious lips? And I don’t have a gag reflex!”

Nayeon rolls her eyes. “Okay, well I don’t know how it goes for men but I’m talking about going down on women. They suck at it and most women agree.” Her arms cross over her chest confidently. 

Jeongguk immediately thinks about you. He wants to know if you would agree. 

Taehyung rests his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder. “How so?”

“They don’t do the right things. Porn has rotted their brains to thinking that moaning into it and moving their tongue around you is enough when it isn’t. You can’t just wiggle it around and expect me to scream and come like a paid actress.” Nayeon huffs. “I used to think something was wrong with me until,” she trails off, pink dusting her cheeks and it’s clear what she meant. Jeongyeon’s shoulders grow even higher with confidence. “A-and you can’t even tell them that it doesn’t feel good because then you bruise their ego and they’ll never do it again.”

Hearing that, Jeongguk begins to panic. 

Is he like that? Did he not listen to you that night? 

Fuck, he’s so selfish. Did you even enjoy it when he touched you? Did he even ask?

No You definitely felt something, he felt you coming, but was it good? Was he being selfish?

Oh god. Oh godgodgodgod. 

“Honestly, they should take note from us,” Jeongyeon pulls Nayeon close. “I’ve never gotten complaints.” She looks cutely proud. 

Taehyung pipes up. “I think us gays are just better at sex,” he feigns nonchalance while everyone hollers and toasts to their perfect, idealistic, amazing sex lives. 

Everyone but Jeongguk. 

All he does is think

That night when he got hard, he had no idea things would escalate to where they did but he’s so glad because he loved every second of it. From kissing, to your teasing tone, to your mouth around him, to his fingers inside of you and all the way until you came; it was perfect. Since then, Jeongguk has thought about another opportunity way more than he’d like to admit. He’s more confident now and he wants to try more things. 

Gone is the first time insecurity. Jeongguk wants to take control, watch you shake and cry and beg for more. He wants you to feel good. That, in and of itself, is hot to him. 

But he also wants to do well. Jeongguk doesn’t want to be like the guys Nayeon was talking about. 

He knows the best way would be to directly ask you what you like but you aren’t here right now and Jeongguk knows he’ll chicken out when you’re all spread out underneath him and pretty all because he wants to impress you. 

Besides, he’s relied on porn this far and if Nayeon says it’s a bad example, then he needs to learn. 

Might as well take advantage of having two people who know how to please women and understand the basics. 

Sober Jeongguk would never. Sober Jeongguk would worry himself into a panic attack and then use the internet instead of an actual person but sober Jeongguk isn’t here at the moment.

At some point, Jimin and Taehyung fall asleep on top of each other with their hands half inside the pizza box and that’s when he gains the courage to go talk to your friends.

Meekly, he slinks over to the kitchen where Nayeon and Jeongyeon are standing. Their backs pressed against the counter while the kettle boils some water for ramen. They’re laughing about something until Nayeon makes eye contact with him and kindly raises a brow.

“What’s up?”

He wasn’t so nervous at first but looking at her, Jeongguk is now getting nervous. “Um, so–uh– about the-the game we were playing,” he wipes his sweaty hands on his pants. “I wanted to–and please feel free to tell me to fuck off if you’re uncomfortable, I’m not trying to be weird or anything, but–”

“Spit it out, kid,” Jeongyeon teases, poking the dimple in his cheek and making him flinch. 

Jeongguk exhales shakily, trying to slow his heart rate down some more. 

“Are all guys really that bad when they…um, when they, you know…” He circles his hands so they can fill in the blank and thankfully, the two pick up what he’s saying. Nayeon laughs at his stuttery behavior. 

“Well, I’m sure there are some guys out there that are great at eating girls out but not the ones I’ve met.” She takes a joint that was resting on a tray on the counter top, inhaling deeply, and then offers it to Jeongguk who accepts. “They just don’t know what they’re doing and they have no interest in learning, unlike women. Sex is an individual thing for them. Their pleasure and their feelings only.” Locks of honey blonde float in the air with the gentle breeze from the open kitchen window. “Why do you ask? Plan on doing it?”

He blushes, holding the smoke in for a few seconds before releasing it. “Y-yeah,” avoiding their eyes because this is so goddamn embarrassing what is he doing and it’s you he’s talking about. But they don’t have to know that. “I want her to feel good and you said that women are better at it. So I wanna learn how.”

Jeongguk wants you to feel good. 

Ever since he first touched you, he can’t get it out of his head. The noises you make, the way your legs twitch and your hips rise when you’re just about to come is so fucking hot. Jeongguk can’t imagine how much sexier you’d sound with your legs wrapped around his head or seated on his face as you come over and over and over again. Wet and sobbing and spent on top of him just like you deserve.  

But, he needs to gain some understanding before he does anything. 

Jeongyeon smiles. Jeongguk is unsure if they know he’s talking about you or if they’re assuming he’s got some other girl on the side that he wants to please but he can’t worry about that right now. Golden advice is being poured into his ears like fresh ambrosia from the gods themselves. 

“Alright, all you have to do is…”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Are you almost home?” You hear your mom’s voice pour from the speakers in your earbuds. 

Looking down the end of the street, you see your apartment building, so you bring the microphone close to your lips to speak. “Yeah, like ten seconds away.” Thank god too, your arms were hurting from carrying your tote bag and the packaged food your mom sent you away with. 

After Tuesday, when you were publicly humiliated,  you didn’t go back to school. Walking home in the rain without an umbrella gave you a slight cold and that combined with the pain you felt emotionally, resulted in you needing to go home for two days. There’s something about being doted on, eating home-cooked food, and the comfort of a parent that makes all sicknesses feel like nothing. Thankfully, she lives a 30 minute train ride from here on the opposite side of Seoul.  

It was nice. You didn’t tell your mom about what had gone down. Just gave her a basic run down as to why you got sick and not much else. 

Oh and you did tell her that you and Jeongguk reconnected but that’s about it. There’s no telling how your mother would react if she found out the two of you hooked up. You’re close with her but not that close. 

But now that you’re feeling better, you;ll probably call him and explain yourself. Then put an end to hooking up for good so you don’t repeat this mistake. 

“Make sure you carry that mini umbrella in your bag. I keep on telling you and you never listened to me,” she lectures, making you groan. 

“I know, I know, you were right,” your tone is light so she can tell you’re just messing with her. “I’ll put one in my bag as soon as I get home, okay?”

“Okay,” she sighs. The sound of the doorbell rings  in the background. “Oh shoot, okay. I have to go darling, the repairman is here to fix the washing machine. Bye! Stay safe! Eat the soup!” 

You reach the front of your apartment building anyways so no need to call. “Bye mom,” you mumble back, opening the front door and then walking to the elevators because you are too exhausted for the stairs. To use them, you scan the sensor on your keys and press the up button. 

It’s quiet in this lobby. No music, no group of people giggling or talking about their plans. It’s a Saturday evening and this building, filled with college students, is pin drop silent. 

You hate it because it leaves you alone with your tired, buzzing brain who has not been kind to you these past few days. 

Ever since that cursed post on GossipLeaks, you’ve been regretting the day you ever let a man into your life romantically. The day you had sex for the first time has been the catalyst in all of this. No peace, no happiness, just slut shaming and pain. 

Honestly, what’s the most annoying part about all of this is that your body count isn’t that high. 

Not that any number of hookups should warrant this kind of treatment.  It’s no one’s business and shaming people for having healthy consensual sex is so lame. 

Leaving Jeongguk out because you didn’t sleep with him, you’ve fucked about 30 guys. That’s over the course of almost four years since you had sex for the first time in high school.  It’s not that bad. There are guys on this campus bragging about their count being in the 200s yet not a single word of criticism or judgment is thrown their way. They’re praised and seen as gods. 

But when you have some fun casual sex every once in a while, suddenly you’re a harlot and you deserve nothing. Yeah, that sounds fair.

Switching the song on your playlist to 505 by the Arctic Monkeys, you exit the elevator to your floor and pull your keys out from the pocket of your hoodie. It’s dinner time and your mom packed your favorite. 

You open the door to find Snowball yowling at you for attention. You had Nayeon and Jeongyeon take care of her while you were back home.  She’s usually pretty okay with them but some days she simply needs to have you around. Today must’ve been one of those days.  Cooing, you set your bag on the ground and reach towards her to scratch the side of her face and pinch her cheeks. 

“Sorry baby, I’m home now, okay?” Snowball purrs in response. You pick her up and cuddle with her in your lap for a little bit until she’s had enough attention for now. 

To compensate for your absence, you got some treats too and the little ball of fur happily eats up the salmon treats while you put the food away. 

Then you light up a candle, open your windows to let the stuffy air out and begin on a few simple chores. Mainly putting the dry dishes back in the cupboard, cleaning the cat litter, some laundry and finally taking out the trash. 

You always enjoy doing these kinds of things, especially after a long few days of eating garbage and wallowing in your sick sadness. It feels nice to have fresh sheets and an empty trash can (you do the others daily already). Like a reset, a new start, which is just what you needed. 

Although, part of you feels bad for avoiding your friends for so long. 

Let’s be honest, you were embarrassed beyond anything and then the rain actually gave you a cold so some time away was 100% necessary. However, you wish you didn’t storm out without much of an explanation. You were just so embarrassed and sad and you didn’t want to cry in front of people who were clearly laughing at your demise. 

Bolting was the best choice but now that you’ve had your space, you really just want to explain yourself to the three of them, specifically Jeongguk who is directly affected by shit like this. 

While boys have it infinitely easier because they aren’t ostracized for their sexual activity, he must be uncomfortable with all of the questions being thrown his way. Maybe you’ll call him over the weekend for coffee and let him know or you could actually just facetime him so you won’t have to leave your house. Whatever, you’ll figure it out later. 

Before depositing the bags of trash to the large bins outside the apartment building, you take a quick shower, changing into a freshly washed set of clothes that are still warm from the dryer. 

Smelling like fresh laundry and the flowery scent of your lotion, you hum a song under your lips while taking the three bags outside to the bins. You think nothing of it. It’s around 8pm, most people are out right now, either going back home or leaving it. Tons of bodies are expected. 

Quickly, you round to the back of the building, dump the bags, and just as you turn the corner, your eyes meet that special pair. 

Big, sparkly, innocent when they want to be, salacious at times, but endearing nonetheless.  

“Jeongguk,” you exhale. 

He looks good, great, actually. The wind has tousled his hair around, making it look like he styled it to be messy and fluffy. Jeongguk has mastered an effortless look with a dark blue windbreaker, black cargos and white chunky sneakers. You can even see some rings on his fingers that match the ones hanging from his earlobes. 

Jeongguk turns at the sound of your voice and immediately rushes over to you. “Noona,” his eyes soften immediately, “Are you feeling better?” He asks, delicately holding you away with two hands on either side of your arms.

His touch is warm, even through the thick material of your hoodie. Makes your stomach flip. 

“Yeah, lots.” You giggle barely, patting his arm softly. “What are you doing here?” Jeongguk removes his hold on you, shoving them into the pockets of his jacket. 

“I had a meeting with my league captain’s place two blocks from here and I was going to catch the train using the station near your place.” 

“Oh.” You open your mouth to say something but his stomach rumbles loudly and Jeongguk covers the area up with his arms in embarrassment, making you smile. “Hungry?” He blinks at you widely and cutely. 

“Yeah but only if you’re okay with it. I know,” he looks to the side awkwardly, “I know you wanted space and all so it’s cool if not. I can get Subway or something.”

As kind as it is for Jeongguk to respect this boundary that you haven’t verbally admitted is already somewhat gone, you’d feel bad letting him walk around on an empty stomach. 

“I’m cool with it. My mom packed way too much anyways.”  You shrug to make him more likely to say yes. Thankfully, it works.

Jeongguk scratches the back of his neck, sniffling from the cold once and then nodding. So you beckon him to walk next to you, back inside your apartment building and inside the elevator. 

The conversation is brief and minimal, mainly asking about his week and how his meeting with his league went. You get brief responses in return which make you think he’s either annoyed with you or simply too hungry for chit chat. It’s slightly annoying that you don’t have the courage to be forthright and ask him how he’s feeling as if you didn’t have this man’s dick in your mouth a week ago. 

Come on, you think as the elevator doors part. What’s the worst that he could say?

“Yeah, I am annoyed because you left for three days and I haven’t heard from you since.”

Well, you had a reason and a valid one at that. Besides, Jeongguk wouldn’t be annoyed over something so understandable. 

The keys unlock the front door and you hold it open for Jeongguk, who slips his sneakers off and is immediately met by a curious Snowball. The moment she recognizes him, she headbuts her head into his calf, purring loudly. 

“Hi baby,” he coos, petting her after plopping on the ground. You watch from halfway to the kitchen, a smile instantly forming on your lips as Snowball practically melts under his touch. 

“She missed you,” you muse. “Looks like you’re the favorite.” 

Jeongguk snorts. “Doubt it,” he looks up at you through his lashes, flashing the one deep dimple he has on his cheek along with the various creases in his skin. 

Your heart flutters immediately. 

“I’ll reheat the food.”

There’s a comfortable silence that resumes among the two of you. Jeongguk moves to the coffee table, leans against the edge of your bed and pets a purring Snowball while you tinker in the kitchen. He turns on the TV, watches a replay of some Mnet performance and hums along softly. You bring the steaming dishes out along with rice and chopsticks, settling a comfortable distance from the younger and eating. 

He doesn’t say a word. You change the channel to the k-drama you were just binging during the train ride that you’ve watched maybe 900 times and Jeongguk doesn’t say anything. 

Your eyes well up at the romantic scenes and you bury your feelings into green tea Kit-Kats and tea. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything. 

He doesn’t say a single word until the food is all done, the drama rolls the credits and Snowball has moved to a corner far away to sleep. Then Jeongguk gains the courage to ask you. 

“Do you…do you want to talk about it?” Jeongguk asks meekly. 

At first, you had no idea what he meant. Then it hits. 

Of course he’d want some answers. It’s his name that’s attached to your stupid label. Not like you can keep Jeongguk in the dark forever, right?

You had prepared yourself for this so you weren’t as uncomfortable but when the time hits, you sort of want to crawl into a ball and die. 

You sigh, keeping your eyes on the half-finished bag of Kit-Kats. “No… yes… sort of.”

 The thing is, only two people know the full story: Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Your mom knows about high school but those two have every detail. 

Usually, you wouldn’t be so keen on spilling this out to anyone but the look on Jeongguk’s face is genuine concern and he isn’t some sleazy hookup you met at a bar. Jeongguk actually cares about you. He won’t use this against you or shame you. He’s asking because he cares.  So it should be okay.

Besides, it gets tiring holding all of this in from your mom and adding on each shitty story to the pile. It’s close to overflowing inside of you and you need to let some out. 

Jeongguk is trustworthy. He knows you. So you decide to start from the beginning of all of this. 

“My track record with guys isn’t exactly clean,” you start, staring at the Hello Kitty pattern on your socks. “The first guy I slept with only did it as a bet because he knew I really liked him.” There’s a drop in your stomach at the mere mention of Seojoon. His gentle laughter and rough hands and how he barely even flinched when he saw how much you were crying when you found out. “He told me we were dating and that he was in love with me. I stupidly believed him and let him take my virginity because I wanted him so bad that I didn’t even see the red flags. Then I saw him making out with another girl and… it sort of broke me.” 

Back then, you were quite the target. You were poor, your clothes and books were cheap, you didn’t have the newest phone or the nicest stationery and other classmates loved to point that out about you. All you wanted was to be accepted, to have friends, and fall in love. 

Everyone seems to romanticize teenage love but they never seem to talk about how difficult teenage loneliness is either. 

Seeing couples or hearing people talk about love like it was so easy made you want to scream into the void. Why couldn’t you have that? You wanted it so bad but why wasn’t it coming to you? Were you not lovable? Not worthy of a crush?

Seojoon was supposed to be your chance at teenage love only for him to hurt you the most. 

That summer break, you swore you were going to die alone. The empty loneliness began to consume you. All you wanted was for someone to care about you and instead you got ridiculed. For having feelings. It was awful and you never cared about love again. 

Some part of your brain is convinced that men are incapable of feeling love. Look at your dad, leaving without a second word, and look at Seojoon. You loved them and they burned you. 

“Then, I started college and I decided that I wouldn’t let another guy manipulate me like that ever again. I was going to stay single for a while which was fine because my department got along. We weren’t super close but it was cordial, especially us first year girls. We’d get snacks, do homework, bake together and gossip a lot. Mostly the latter because all of us were kind of obsessed with this older guy, Junho.” You explain, imagining his honey sweet smile and eyes. “He was a class representative for the Econ department with a reputation for dating around and all of the girls, aside from Jeongyeon, used to dream that one day, he’d pick one of us and we’d get our happy ever after.”

It was fun. He was sort of like the department’s prince charming or It-Boy. Girls would flock around him, sometimes you included, just to get a glimpse of the Junho. 

Jeongguk rests his chin on his knees that are folded up to his chest, staring intently at you as you continue to speak. “The thing is, Junho was actually really nice even though he was a total fuck boy. He just had a quality about him that made everyone like him. He was sociable and easy to talk to and cute but I never made a move. I was perfectly okay with finding him attractive from a distance because in my head, he was just this guy I thought was cute. That’s all I allowed myself to feel while the other girls kissed his cheek and asked for photos when they could.” 

You knew that was for the better anyways. 

Guys like Junho were a lot like Seojoon. Their egos were nice and fluffed to the point where they saw girls as expendable. If one said no, there’s a high chance one will just because they’re so blessed in genetics. Back then, you didn’t want to suffer the pain you felt because of Seojoon so you kept a distance and smiled as the other girls were living the dream. 

“At some point, one girl he was messing around with absolutely rejected him in front of everyone and you could tell it hurt because he actually liked her.  He didn’t show up at school for a few days and when he did, he wasn’t the old Junho. Instead, he was standoffish and quiet. Girls still wanted him but the interest changed from wanting to pin him down with commitment to healing his broken heart.” You stare at your fingernails, chipped nail polish revealing your pink nail beds. “I still kept my distance. I mean, what happened sucks but I wasn’t going to worry about it.” That’s what happens when you treat girls like shit. “Until I found him buying soju at a convenience store one night.”

A big mistake. 

Jeongguk’s expression doesn’t change one bit and you’re glad for that. It makes you think he isn’t judging you in his head.  

“He says hi and asks if he can talk to me and even though I wanted to say no, I couldn’t. I was starving and I wanted to eat at the store but I couldn’t disrespect him by rejecting him unless I wanted to get mauled the next day at school,” you explain. The seniority was insane. Still is. “So Junho and I ate together and then he just started trauma dumping on me about his failed relationship.”

Going on and on about how he was such a good guy and she was the first girl he ever really liked and that she was different and that she could change him for the better. Looking at it now, that was a sack of shit but nineteen year old you was eating up every word. 

Especially when he started hitting deep. 

 “He was crying on my shoulder and I just felt so bad. I mean, sure, Junho was a player but I know what it feels like to want someone so bad and almost be punished for it. So I tried to console him by giving some basic ass advice like it’ll stick around if it’s meant to be. I don’t even think he was listening,” a sardonic laugh leaves you at what comes next. At how idiotic you were. “I guess halfway through my spiel he realized I was a girl with boobs who was a inches away from him and his primitive man brain just connected these imaginary dots. Since I had sympathy for him, I must want to console him even further with sex. So he asked if he could kiss me.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything but his chin tucks in and that’s enough of a reaction for you to continue. 

“And you wanna know what I said? Yes.” You laugh again at your utter stupidity. “Not only because I was attracted to him but because I actually felt so sorry for him that I was willing to be his one-way ticket to happiness. I didn’t want him to feel worthless anymore, not like I did when Seojoon rejected me.” White hot shame burns your skin, your insides, all throughout your body. “I wanted to give him the fraction of attention I wished someone could’ve given me back then. I thought it would maybe soothe some of my old wounds too, maybe we…we both could move on from this.” It sounds so illogical right now but back then, it made complete sense. “We slept together one night and the next morning, after leaving me in his bed without another word, Junho tells everyone.”

It started with his chummy friend group, typically bragging after getting laid and getting his ego boosted. Like how every rumor or story passes around and Junho made sure to leave in the juicy details. 

“He said I was the best rebound lay he’s ever had and that I made sure to make him feel like a king again,” you roll your eyes. All you did was blow him before letting him put it in. That should not constitute this much embellishment. “His friends told their friends who told other people and somehow the entire school knew I slept with him. That day, I walked onto campus and guys who never gave me the time of day before were suddenly so interested in me.” Which you didn’t mind but it did get annoying when they would look everywhere but your face. “I didn’t think anything else would happen. Only, I forgot how the girls would react.”

Remember, Junho was the It-Boy. Everyone wanted him and if you got to sleep with him, you were either harassed and slut-shamed or praised. It depended on how Junho reacted. Now, you didn’t hurt him so you thought you were in the clear but that rule ended up changing. 

Because now all the guys wanted you and some girls didn’t like that. 

“They were annoyed that I got with him first without consulting them. Thinking I wanted all of this attention and I wanted to be the first girl from our year to sleep with them like this was some kind of competition when that couldn’t be the farthest from the truth. I explained myself and I told them it was a one time thing and I was only trying to comfort him but it didn’t matter. They made their decision. My fate was sealed. I became rebound girl.” It took one simple night for your entire college life to be ruined. “Guys would come to me, complain about their broken hearts, manage to get to me because I’m easy and I always manage to convince myself that they mean no harm when they always do, sleep with me, then tell the entire school the next day. Rinse and repeat.  I’m an idiot,” you exhale, hiding your face in your hands. 

It’s such a painful sensation to want to cry but no tears come out. You want to scream, shout into the sky about how frustrating this entire thing is but you don’t have the energy. 

All you feel is exhaustion. Accepting this fate is your only option. You dug this grave, now go lie in it alone, like you deserve. 

“I should’ve known. I should’ve been smart enough to stop after the first person but I keep on giving these guys the benefit of the doubt and trusting them when they actually say they want me when–I just–ugh, I’m so–”

Then something warm gently scoots across your back and your nose is filled with the scent of cotton and floral notes. The arm curls around you, cupping your shoulder as the other one rounds your front and Jeongguk is hugging you. 

Okay and maybe the position is awkward and maybe you’re about as red as a tomato with anger but this hug is just what you needed. 

Throughout the week, all you did was blame yourself and convince yourself to keep some distance from Jeongguk. You didn’t want to ruin his reputation or bring him into your mess with this weird love triangle with Juri because he simply didn’t deserve that just for being your friend and letting you suck him off once. But your heart simply wasn’t in it. You didn’t want to leave the one person that reminds you of your childhood and feels like home. 

“You’re not an idiot,” Jeongguk says.

You sigh. “You don’t have to–”

Jeongguk interrupts you. “No,” he presses firmly. “So what if you slept with that Junho guy? What does it matter to everyone else?” He huffs cutely with his thick brows all furrowed and lips slightly pouty. “Why do they get to shame you when there are tons of other college students doing the same thing? Why are you the only one in the wrong?”

Jeongguk is right. Lots of people have lots of sex. Guys are on the higher side but there are people out there having regular hookups. You get chastised for it. 

But at the same time…

“I allowed this to happen, Jeongguk.”

Even if those guys tried to get to you with their sob stories, you still said yes at the end of the day. You played into this reputation. Aren’t you at fault too? 

“You didn’t allow anything, though.” He sighs, turning more to you, hands cupping your cheeks to get you to meet his gaze, thumbs tracing the skin under your eyes. “Noona. This isn’t your fault. Please don’t blame yourself for this.”

“It feels like it. No matter what I do, people will always see me as some big bad slut. How can I not believe it?” It’s your turn to sigh, gently pushing Jeongguk’s hold off your face and turning to the side. “Have people been treating you differently?”

Is it as bad as you think? Are girls refusing to talk to him? Boys usually never get the kind of treatment you do but you can’t help but panic. 

Jeongguk waves it off. “No,” his eyes roll heavily and it doesn’t soothe you. “Like there are a few comments here and there but it’s all praise.” 

Momentarily, you are relieved that he isn’t being ridiculed for sleeping with you. At least, you think, at the very least boys will always get away with their promiscuity. You can count on that. 

“Still. Being associated with me in that way is just no good, Guk,” you remind him, even though pushing him away is the last thing you want. You want him close, to feel his touch, to kiss his lips and be with him. There’s a fire brewing inside you and it hasn’t been quenched since the first time you got to kiss him. All it does is ask for more chances. 

To kill that flame would take a lot from you and you already don’t have much to give. 

Jeongguk links your fingers together and rests them on his outstretched thigh, searching your eyes to gain your attention. “I don’t care about a bunch of random people and their opinion. It’s not going to stop me from seeing you. Not them and not that Juri girl, okay?”

Fucking Juri. 

She spearheaded all of that hatred towards you when Junho spilled the beans on you sleeping with him. She was the one behind the scenes telling all of the other girls in your grade just how awful and back-stabbing you were. You hadn’t even wronged her. Sure, she liked Junho just as much as everyone else did but you still had yet to hit her where she was really sensitive. 

 “Juri never liked me. The first time we met, she had this impression with the way I dressed or if some guy looked at me too long. As if she could already tell I was the type of girl to seduce every guy in my vicinity.” It didn't matter what you wore, some guys just stared because the way society oversexualizes everything about a woman. You weren’t a person to them, you were an object with tits and a nice ass. “When the rumor got out, it was like her first impression was confirmed and she was telling everyone else how awful I was.” It just gets worse and worse delving into this topic and while Jeongguk hasn’t been scared off just yet, this might be it. You sigh, avoiding his eyes for your conjoined hands to comfort you. “After Junho there was this other guy, I think his name was Sunghoon, and he was best friends with Junho. Juri had a massive thing for him, even more than whatever she felt for Junho, but I didn’t know because we were never friends.” 

No one knew but Juri’s circle. It was a secret crush after all. 

“Sunghoon heard about me from Junho and wanted to sleep with me too. I was already upset about Junho telling everyone so I ended up rejecting him since it was too soon but he still told everyone we did it anyway. Of course, everyone believed him no matter what I said. My reputation was set in stone.” You feel Jeongguk squeeze your hand tightly when your voice wobbles slightly. You swallowed down any pain you felt inside. “Juri was furious and now all of the other girls had perfect reason to hate me because I apparently stole her man. I tried to tell her that I didn’t know and that I’m sorry and that it wasn’t even true but she didn’t want to hear it.” 

Part of you doesn’t want to blame her. You know what it feels like when the guy you like chooses another girl. It hurts more than anything else, digs at your insecurities, begs the question if you are loveable or some ugly beast. 

But Juri was never kind to you to begin with. She isn’t a girl’s girl, she’s someone who will do anything for male validation. Even if it means losing all of her friends. 

So you know what? You don’t need someone like that in your life. 

Nayeon and Jeongyeon would never do something like that. 

“Did anyone else lie about having sex with you?”

A sad scoff leaves your lips. “You wanna know what the actual number is?” Jeongguk nods. “30. But ask anyone in our school, they’ll easily say 300 or some shit. Most guys have lied.”

Not like anyone will fact check. Junho did enough embellishment so all of the other guys could simply say your name and they’d believe it. 

That’s what reputation is. A label attached to a person so powerful that it does things on its own. And you had a reputation for being a slut who fixes broken men. 

Jeongguk groans, breaking you out of your train of thought. “This is so frustrating.” Your head turns, finds genuine anger on his boyish features. “All of those guys came to you. Junho and that Sunghoon guy and Seojoon all came to you and made you think they needed to have sex with you to feel good,” Jeongguk stresses. “And then you get punished for being a victim to their games.”

A man can be promiscuous all he wants but a woman has to remain pure. Not for her own sake but for the sake of men. Whenever women put themselves first, they’re bullied into silence. They aren’t supposed to act like men. They’re supposed to be proper, beacons of purity and grace. 

Well, who fucking made that rule? 

Why can’t men be the beacons of purity? Why do they get to slut around and get away with it? 

Why are you the spawn of Satan for even looking at a guy while there are boys at your university who have actually slept with over 100 women. 

“People suck,” is all you can say back. You’re just one person. There’s no way you can change the way society has been structured for years on end, right? A twinge of despair sits heavily in your chest as you’re consistently met with the reality of your situation. 

 “They do. And you know what?”Slowly, you look back up into Jeongguk’s sparkly bright eyes. He’s got the beginnings of a smile on his lips and you swear your stomach rushes with butterflies. “It’s their loss. Because they are missing out on getting to know a beautiful, kind, smart, accomplished and hardworking woman.”

You soften immediately. Sure, you’ve been called beautiful before but never the others. After being sexualized for years on end, no one else ever saw your worth beyond that so you had to tell yourself. Sometimes it worked, sometimes your insecurities got the best of you. But you know that you’re hardworking and smart and kind. 

It’s different coming from Jeongguk. 

He’s saying it for you, not to benefit himself later on. It’s real, not a blanket statement. There’s no promise that you’ll blow him and he won’t go around telling people that you did because he isn’t like that. 

He’s a man who genuinely likes you for you. Not your body or your reputation. 

Your legs uncurl and you’re inching closer to him. It’s an automatic response. You don’t even think to try to hold it back because you don’t want to and you shouldn’t have to. It’s safe in your apartment and no one will call you anything here. You get on your knees and swing one leg over his lap once more, inviting the soft scent of him as your face buries in the crook of his neck, arms wound around his shoulders. 

Jeongguk is warm and his hands are back on your hips innocently. The touch isn’t sexual at all and it’s just what you needed. 

Jeongguk’s chin rests on your shoulder as he starts speaking once more. “And you know what? Someone got caught fucking in the teachers lounge two days ago and it’s all everyone is talking about. No one has mentioned this story at all so don’t worry about it. I’m the least affected by this. I want to know if you’ll be okay.”

You smile against his skin, hopes he can feel you do that. 

“I will.” 

This rumor will pass, someday, certainly. But then, you refuse to be photographed with a man in any sort of context. All hookups will have to leave at 3am or something. 

Speaking of….

“You wanna stay the night?” You pull your head out, fingers twisting with the strands at the back of his head. “It’s getting late and I don’t want you to take the subway right now.” You live in a safe area but still. And you want him around but only if he’s interested. “I could call you a cab too, if you want?”

“No, I’ll stay. I just don’t have any sleepwear.” He looks down at his cargo pants with a slight pout. God, he’s adorable. 

“I have sweatpants,” you offer. Or Jeongguk could also sleep in his boxers. 

Unlike some people, you can control yourself. 

“There’s a high chance they won’t fit.”

Right. Boy has huge thighs. Muscular and toned. You can feel them underneath your legs and the brief thought of riding them until you cum all over him passes through your mind like a cheetah. Now is simply not the time to be horny. 

Seriously, your cycle of terror finished two days ago. You have to relax. You just said you could control yourself. 

Still, you let one of your hands slither down from where they were hanging behind Jeongguk’s neck to the planes of his chest, stopping right where his beating heart should be. It thumps soundly beneath your fingertips while allowing you to feel up the firm peaks of his chest that you so desperately want to squeeze like anything. 

“Speaking from experience?” You smirk. 

Jeongguk’s face dulls, pinching your side in retaliation. You yelp. “Look when you live with two sisters, laundry gets mixed up and I’ve had a lot of sweatpants barely go up my legs until I started running my clothes alone.” 

Giggling, you flick under his chin. 

Although, the thought of him doing his own laundry is also hot and–holy fuck, bro, get it together. 

You tap his chest once. “Fine, I’ll get you a pair.” You sigh, waiting for Jeongguk’s hold on your waist to loosen so you can get up, which he allows you to do. 

Except, sitting on your knees for so long left them sore and lacking in blood flow so by the time Jeongguk also gets up, your legs almost give out, resulting in you collapsing against his chest for balance and your hands landing right on his chest. 

“Sorry,” you exhale with some laughter. Jeongguk’s hands first curl around your elbows, warm and comforting, and then down to your hips. “Gimme a sec. I literally can’t feel my legs so I’ll have to hold onto you for a–ah!” 

Jeongguk uses the hold he has on you to lift you up, twine your legs around his waist with a little bounce in his movement. Your hands clutch at his body when you feel your feet lift off the ground, fear subsiding when he looks up at you with glimmering eyes. 

Staring back, it’s obvious why women like him, why Juri was so upset when he rejected her. Jeongguk is so attractive it’s insane. From every angle, he manages to look perfect. Like an angel. 

“I like it better this way,” he grins. 

Doesn’t help that he’s sweet like candy on the inside too. 

The blush on your cheeks must make you look like a tomato but you don’t care. The way Jeongguk looks at you, holds you, has your entire body covered in goosebumps. Fluttering inside your tummy, screaming at you to pin him down against that mattress and show him all of the things that you like too. 

But all you do is playfully roll your eyes. “You nearly gave me a heart attack,” you pretend to scold. 

“You like it.” 

Fuck, he’s smirking and he’s right. You did like it. There’s something to be said about being manhandled and tossed around like some ragdoll. You’ve always been the submissive one in sex so the thought of Jeongguk bending your body to his will calls for a rush of arousal. 

That coupled with the cocky look on his face. It’s fucking Niagara Falls down there. 

“Just move, Jeon. Unless you want to sleep in the pants you’re already wearing.” 

Jeongguk moves a hand up to salute you, still keeping a strong grip on the back of your thighs. You bite back a gasp when he subconsciously squeezes the mass to make sure his hold doesn’t falter. 

You’re already throbbing. Both from the act of strength and the confidence wavering off him. When Jeongguk first touched you, he was so hesitant but now he’s reached a point where he can hold you without fear that he’s crossing a boundary. Thanks to the conversation you had at the beginning of the week and you’re glad about it. He’s one of the only guys you genuinely trust. 

And currently, he’s the only guy you want to pin you down on your bed

Directing him to the chest of clothes, Jeongguk walks the two of you forward. Then sets you down in front of it.  You could’ve easily gotten up but, you know, why do that? 

With a still fuzzy brain, shaking fingers curl around the drawer’s metal handle. You pull open the first drawer of your dresser without much thought. Jeongguk is hovering behind you with curious eyes, allowing you to get drunk on the scent of him and the warmth of his body. 

But being on cloud nine makes you forget that the drawer you opened just so happens to be your lingerie drawer. 

And you pause. Like a dog getting caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. 

The contents are neatly packed. Lacy and skimpy, in multiple colors. No one should own this much lingerie but you love it. The confidence a nice set gives you and the way some react make spending all of that money online worth it. You feel powerful and you’ve had some great fucks in some of these sets. 

However, this is not how you planned on showing Jeongguk your collection. 

Yeah, let’s add this to the list of porno plots that you thought happened to no one but  happened to you because you are experiencing bouts of embarrassment and bad luck at the moment. You might as well change your name and move to Switzerland to herd sheep now. 

Jeongguk pauses behind you too. The hands that were on your hips, steading you for no reason, feel slightly detached.

Causing you to panic. 

The drawer slams shut. “S-sorry! Wrong one.” You go to the 2nd one and pull out a large gray pair, pushing it into Jeongguk’s chest without another word. 

Oh my god. Ohmygodohmygodhohmygod. 

You should’ve actually thought this through! Instead of letting the lightness from Jeongguk picking you up dictate your every move like an idiot. Now what will he think? 

Sidestepping him, you don’t even want to imagine what could be going on in Jeongguk’s head. A desperate ploy to sleep with him after complaining about the way men treat you? Trying to gain his sympathy just to get him in bed? Sounds hypocritical, right? 

You should go. You should check on the dishes or make some tea or–

“Noona,” Jeongguk stops you with a soft hand on your wrist. “It’s okay,” his voice is firm and sure, causing you to slowly turn your neck to face him. 

His lips are set neutral, a little pouty like always. But his expression seems to be calm. 

“You don’t have to apologize or anything.” You watch his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows. “Honestly, it was…” he trails off, the redness becoming more obvious on his cheeks and ears. 

Oh. 

Any rigidness in your body begins to melt and you feel that previous fluttering in your belly return, pushing you to take a step closer. “Did you like them?” You ask, boldly. 

Gone is the fear that you’ve pushed him away, reaffirmed your reputation or behaved like the very assholes who gave it to you because he doesn’t believe in that. He likes you and trusts you and you have no reason to panic when things like this happen. Jeongguk won’t call you a slut. 

He cuts contact, looks to the side, and you see the briefest nodding on his head. Your smile grows tenfold. How cute. 

“Oh, I see.” Abandoning any plans of running from him, palms flat on the firmness of his chest that you so desperately want to sink your teeth into. The light hitting the top of his head illuminates his skin, making him all golden, and you don’t think you can handle your wetness any longer. Jeongguk is just that good looking. “Do you wanna pick one out?” 

His eyes flash up to you. “What?”

“Pick one for me to wear.” 

Jeongguk’s boy brain seems to put the pieces together slowly, realizing what you want to happen, what you’re greenlighting that he’s been thinking about for a few days now. 

You take initiative by going back to your dresser, tugging Jeongguk along, and opening the drawer all over again. Now Jeongguk can actually look at it instead of relying on the five second glimpse he got before. Sees all of the lace and mesh cut outs, sees the box of condoms in the corner, some lube. Thankfully, you’ve hidden any sex toys so you won’t have to deal with that. 

While him finding lingerie was pretty tame in retrospect, Jeongguk finding that 7 inch vibrator you’ve got would be the end of you. 

None of your baby dolls are in here but you don’t think those are Jeongguk’s style. Too much frill and fabric, meant for guys who really desire stereotypical femininity in the girls they fuck and want a little show when fucking. Jeongguk seems a little more straightforward. Likes easy access while still being sexy. So all of your teddys, which are essentially bodysuits or swimsuits made mostly of lace, are in this drawer. His eyes travel all throughout, ignoring the pinks and teals and reds for black and white. 

Inching closer, Jeongguk seems to be deciding on two in particular. Then gently pulls one out by the strap. 

“I like this.” 

Your jaw slackens slightly. It’s crotchless, first of all, and it’s completely see through. Even the cups reveal your nipples without much fabric covering it. There’s a single strip of fabric going down your sternum and there are two identical lace detailing on your sides, completely free where your mons would be. Open right at your entrance. 

Jeongguk picked a much more revealing one. You wonder what on earth he has planned for you but you nod regardless, taking the article of clothing from him and brushing some hair out of his face. 

“Get changed and then wait on the bed for me.” Kissing him briefly on the nose. 

Thankfully, you took an everything shower yesterday. Not that you really care about hair and men who do are weird but this will be your second time hooking up with Jeongguk so you still want to look a certain way for him, just until you talk about preferences some more. 

Jeongguk speed walks to your bathroom, has you giggling at the way he urgently shuts the door. Snowball’s head perks up from her bed and you carefully move her to a different bed in a farther corner so she doesn’t have to bear witness to whatever will happen. She isn’t happy about it, makes an irritated low noise when you hold her but it’s for her own good. 

After patting her a few times to get comfortable in her new bed, Jeongguk emerges with your pants in his hands. 

“They didn’t fit.” 

Not that you’re complaining. 

“Shame, guess your boxers will have to do.” You feign annoyance but the slight bulge in the fabric tells you the opposite. 

Jeongguk’s expression is difficult to judge. He follows your body as you saunter to the bathroom, eyes burning a hole in your back. You purposefully sashay a little, making sure your ass is shown off, that your hair swishes around. You’re dripping in confidence and you didn’t expect yourself to be like this considering the beginning of your run-in with Jeongguk. 

But, he helps bring you back down from that poor state of mind where you let everyone’s words get to you by reminding you just how amazing you are. Confidence is something you always had but it gets buried and Jeongguk just brought it back up. 

At some point, you hope to grow strong enough to never allow stuff like what happened this week to bother you. Even better, that the rumor becomes squashed and you’re no longer rebound girl. 

But that’ll take time and, right now, you’re willing to wait. 

Stripping down, you get ready. Slipping on the lingerie, messing your hair up a bit, adding a touch of lip gloss, and humming Positions by Ariana Grande to get you in the zone. 

Jeongguk should want to devour you. You should want to devour him. 

The door creaks open slowly and your body is halfway out when you speak up. “Close your eyes, Jeongguk!” 

Some rustling is audible. “Huh? Okay!” He calls back in his trademark polite gentle tone. A smile grows on your face right afterwards. 

You got this. 

The door behind you shuts, slightly colder air causing you to be covered in goosebumps but it doesn’t matter. You’ll be warmed up soon. Turning the corner, Jeongguk is seated on the edge of your bed with his legs spread wide (hot), propped up with his hands on the bed on either side of his hips.  

And he’s done you the favor of already taking his shirt off, folded neatly at the foot of your bed. So Jeongguk is just in his boxers. How nice of him. 

A scoff leaves your lips, too quiet for him to pick up, but your footsteps are loud and clear. Jeongguk moves his hands a little and he doesn’t flinch when you sink down onto his warm lap, arms around his neck like they belong. 

“Can I open my eyes now?” Jeongguk hasn't touched you just yet. Honestly, he seems like he’d make the perfect sub with how good he is and how well he listens but you’ve never delved into that. 

You have no idea if you’d totally enjoy it unless it was a teasing back and forth and Jeongguk got the chance to put you in your place too. Get you whining and crying into your sheets until–

Okay, fuck. You’re already soaking wet and bare. You don’t need the scenarios and you haven’t even responded to him. 

Leaning close to his perfect face, you smack a quick kiss on his cheek, right below that scar of his. “Not yet, baby.” You purr, mapping a line down his neck with your lips. Jeongguk has such a nice neck and hickeys look so good on him. The urge to mark him up completely overtakes all rationality (not that you had much to begin with). 

Kissing down to the middle of his neck slowly, your lips suction around his pulse point, digging your teeth in, and you feel Jeongguk stir beneath you. His hips raise slightly, desperate for some kind of friction that you refuse to give. All you can smell is his sweet perfume and feel his soft skin. 

Jeongguk whimpers your name and you can feel your pussy throbbing, surprised that you’re not leaking all over his bare thigh. 

“Fuck,” he groans, thrusting up. Jeongguk’s boxers are so thin so you can feel the defined bulge pressing into your bare mound and you almost falter from how thick and big it feels. 

It’s been a few weeks since you’ve had a dick inside you and you are really craving it. Sure, you have toys that could easily help but Jeongguk is bigger than your biggest one. Suddenly, that 7 inch vibrator simply won’t cut it. 

Clenching around nothing, you pull away from his neck. “You can open your eyes now,” exhaling heavily. 

Jeongguk follows. Your eyes connect and it’s electric. Sizzling tension, blood pumping deep in your veins, breaths mingling. Two seconds go, passing atypically slowly, and then he moves. 

Jeongguk makes the first move connecting your lips, taking you by surprise, but you kiss him back and try to match his vigor. He kisses you with passion and wanton, controlling you like he might never get another chance to taste you. Gets your heart thumping loudly in your chest. 

Especially when his fingers curl around your ass, squeezing roughly to earn a gasp of rapture, and his tongue sneaks in and runs deep along yours. 

Questioning if he was totally a sub? Yeah, you don’t know about that. 

Getting strong switch vibes from him. 

Jeongguk gets up from the bed after wrapping your legs around his waist, turning around and laying you down on the bed. Your lips break apart for a split second but Jeongguk changes the moment your back touches the mattress, as if he can’t live without your kisses. You moan at his eagerness, realizing he has yet to look at your full set yet and is going crazy over just kissing you. 

Fingers wind in his soft silky hair, tongues mingling in your mouth. It’s wet and messy and vulgar, teeth clacking, but you don’t have it in you to care. 

He breaks the kiss again to kiss the corner of your lips, your cheek and then your jaw before pulling away and finally looks down while hovering over you. 

Watching Jeongguk’s expression change is like high art. 

You swear his eyes get darker, a vein on his neck bulges. “Jesus,” he grits. One hand begins at your sternum and slithers down where your breasts threaten to spill out of the flimsy thing. Jeongguk’s thumb traces over your pert nipple, causing you to twitch at the brief stimulation. “You look so fucking hot.” 

“Yeah?” 

Jeongguk nods, sitting up a little so he’s kneeling between your spread legs. “Like a goddess.” His eyes take you in, eating up every inch of skin he can see. “A beautiful, sexy, amazing goddess.” 

You smirk, bending your leg some more to expose more of yourself to him. His gaze dips down to your bare cunt, wet and swollen for him and you swear you see his jaw set. 

“You’re talking like you wanna worship me,” you joke cornily. Honestly, you’re too taken aback by the way Jeongguk is looking at you to cringe but thankfully he doesn’t say anything against it. 

“I think I do.” Is his response. 

Barely processing it, Jeongguk lifts you up by your calves, resting them on his shoulders and leaning down. Your stomach flips, you gasp, trembling slightly as Jeongguk begins to leave hickeys on the soft flesh of your inner thigh along with occasional bite marks. 

Is he going to do what you think he is? Does he even know how? It’s been ages since someone went down on you. Most men simply don’t know how or care to learn. 

You think Jeongguk is the opposite. He isn’t pleasuring you for himself but because he wants you to feel good so if you don’t like something, he’ll fix it. 

But still, eating girls out is apparently something only girls can do properly. Nayeon is a firm believer in that. 

Your head tilts back with each teasing mark making you wetter and wetter. He’s certainly building up the anticipation correctly so you’ll give him a point for that. Soon you’re throbbing so bad from how sexy Jeongguk looks with his dark hair between your thighs and kiss-bruised lips that you almost beg for his mouth on you. 

“Pretty,” Jeongguk growls, reaching closer to your dripping core. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.” The muscles in his back flex and you can feel them against your calves. “Can I?”

You don’t even hesitate. He’s inches away from you and you don’t think you can go another second without his touch. “Please Guk.” 

He doesn’t waste another second leaning down and licking a fat stripe up your core, making your legs twitch around his head. His tongue is flat and wide starting from your entrance all the way to your clit, tasting you once and groaning immediately after. 

“Shit,” you wince. Fingers getting stuck in Jeongguk’s hair. “Jeongguk.” 

Embarrassingly, you almost grind on his face but Jeongguk keeps a tight hold on your hips as his mouth closes around your clit, sucking the bud a few times like he’s making out with you which has you groaning out. His nose bumps into your outer lips and you imagine that it would feel like heaven to grind back onto the bulbous tip while sitting on his face. Big noses are so hot for that reason in particular. 

Jeongguk pulls back, gets up on his elbows a little to drop a fat blob of spit onto your pussy, watching it mix with your juices as you clench again. This time he notices your neediness and he chuckles darkly. 

“Cute,” lips closing around your clit as he looks up at you. “Want my fingers in you badly, huh?”

“Yes.”

Jeongguk’s lips pull off with a loud pop. “How bad?” Digits tracing your soppy opening. At first you can’t formulate a response when he’s everywhere but the places you need him. So he removes all contact. “How bad do you need my fingers in this needy little pussy?” 

Definitely not a sub. Definitely not a fucking sub–wow, okay. 

“Badly,” grinding up into nothing, hips getting shoved back down. “I–I need you to fill me up. Please. I think about it so much. Your fingers feel so fucking good, Jeongguk. Made me cum so hard.” 

You don’t lie. He’s got long fingers and is definitely the biggest you’ve had, easily reaching spots others have left dormant. You’re glad to fluff his ego on that considering how mind blowing that first orgasm was. 

“I could tell,” he mutters slowly. “You came so fast,” lips closing around your clit again as you whine out. Jeongguk continues speaking. “Like a good girl” 

You can’t even respond to that, can’t even begin to fathom what praise from him does to you or how you must be gushing all over your sheets right now. Jeongguk’s middle finger inches in while his tongue and mouth focus directly on your swollen clit and you lose all ability to formulate a proper sentence. 

Flicking the sensitive bud back and forth at an animalistic pace while his finger slowly pushes in and out of you is where you fucking lose it. Head thrown back, thighs trembling, moaning out garbled versions of his name and breathy swears. 

This is it. Better than anything else you’ve had. This combination floods you with pleasure coiling in the pit of your stomach and your muscles going rigid. 

“Fuck yes–yes, just like that,” you whimper some more, using your grip on Jeongguk’s hair to tug him in further. Big mistake. “Don’t stop—don’t fucking–no, no! Why did you–”

Your leg falls off Jeongguk’s shoulder and flops onto the bed. His nose and lips are shiny but his expression is hard. “Sit  up.” He orders. Jaw set and clenched. 

Part of you really wants to disobey, be brat because that always results in a good time, but you need to come and you need his touch back on you as soon as possible. Meekly, your legs curl in and you slowly sit up, getting on your knees and pouting at him. 

Jeongguk takes the spot you were just laying down on, head meeting your pillow with a slight bounce. He motions for you to come closer then: “Face away from me.”

Oh.

Even better. 

“Gonna have this perfect pussy right in front of me while you suck me off, okay?”

Swinging your leg over, you nod desperately, arching your back a little and leaning down. You’re interrupted with a light smack on your ass, causing you to moan out way too loudly. It almost sounds like a cry of pain but it’s far from that. 

Jeongguk drops the act quickly. Gently reaching for you with soft hands on your hips.  “Noona, are you ok–”

“I’m fine,” you gasp. “Do it again.” You push your ass out some more, bent over his body, staring back at him with tears of desire. “Please Jeongguk.” 

He’s hesitant when he sits back down. You know he doesn’t want to hurt you but the way that the pain sizzled into pleasure coupled with how badly you want his hand print on you is far from hurt. It’s fucking warranted at this point. 

Jeongguk spanks you once more, on the same cheek, and you flop down all limp on top of him. His teeth sink into the flesh of your thigh, spanking the other cheek much harder than before. 

Arousal drips out of you and tracks down your skin. You feel needy and pathetic but in the best way possible. 

“I fucking love your ass so much,” nails dig into the already sore flesh as he praises you lowly. Jeongguk’s arms curl around your back, tugging you close to him as he continues what he was doing to you. Tongue flicking your clit at an insane pace. 

You can’t handle it. Even though his hard cock is inches away from you, you need a second to control yourself as the tingling sensation begins from your toes and starts creeping up. 

Someone must’ve told him this or maybe he’s watched a ton of porn. Guys never eat you out like this. They move their tongue around and moan, thinking it’s enough, and get annoyed when you haven’t come. Some blame it on you and say that you’re the problem when it’s the complete opposite. 

But Jeongguk breaches your entrance with two fingers in tandem with your tongue. Those long digits immediately find that g-spot and it’s fucking over, it’s done. You’re already there. You’re so wet and it’s echoing in your small studio apartment for the both of you to hear. The pleasure building up is rapid and way too fast.

After no action for days, you’re easy. The coil in your stomach gets tighter and tighter as Jeongguk’s fingers pound out of you and his tongue continues to play with that swollen bundle of nerves. 

“C-close, I’m close–I’m gonna–” you feel it, the ball unravels and your legs go out. “I’m cumming!” 

Faster than you’d like to admit. You start shaking, tears streaming down your face. Trying to muffle your noises on his thigh so you don’t get a fucking noise complaint. 

“Good girl. So fucking pretty when you come like that,” his fingers slow down but they don’t pull out just yet. After such a hard orgasm, you would usually need a break but the slow pace just gets you needier. “Can you take another one, gorgeous?” Jeongguk asks. 

Last time he touched you, you couldn't but now you want a second go. Besides, you want to return the favor too. 

“Yeah, I can.” 

With a slow pace and his mouth pressing timid little kisses on your wet thighs, Jeongguk leans back when you pull his boxers down and his length stands in front of you. Leaking and hard and so fucking big. 

Now that you’ve come once, you lose all inhibition. You press a kiss to the wet tip, rounding up saliva in your mouth to lick up all of the cloudy salty precum before sinking down and taking in just the tip. He’s thick so your jaw has to stretch a bit but you definitely don’t mind that. 

“Fuck,” Jeongguk whispers, licking another stripe to clean you up, gets you jolting and him laughing. 

He’s so atypically cocky, something you’ve never found attractive until now. It’s warranted cockiness. Ate you out like a fucking champ and has a dick big enough to make you question whether or not you can take it all. Yeah, Jeongguk can have a bit of an ego. 

But only a bit. 

You fold your thumb into your clenched fist and squeeze lightly to stop your gag reflex for a bit. Allowing you to take almost all of his length into your mouth. Jeongguk’s hips raise a bit to help you so it doesn’t pierce through the back of your throat completely but just until your nose meets the base of his length. 

“Mmh,” he moans, feeling his chest heave against your body. Jeongguk mumbles some more praise, calls you the most prettiest girl, leans forward to get his mouth back on you, and the dance begins again. 

Gently, Jeongguk fucks your mouth while you grind back into his. The pace isn’t fast and hectic like before nor is it any bit graceful but neither of you seem to care. 

Each thrust is awarded with a burst of precum and your thighs shake with every hit against your sensitive spot. The air gets hot and sticky, filled with the scent of sex and adrenaline. The sounds of your wet mouth and wet pussy along with Jeongguk’s whiny noises are noises you could hear for the rest of your life and never get bored of. 

This is all you want. Him and his hands and his mouth and just him. 

This sweet boy who held you so close and listened and makes you cum better than anyone else had. 

Even after the second time, as your arousal drenches his fingers so much they prune as you release and he shoots his load down your throat, it hits you like a punch in the face just how much Jeongguk has ruined you. 

Because after this, no other man will compare.

[fox-guardian]

[ID: A digital drawing of Tim Stoker walking Poundcake the pit bull while wearing purple cat ears, no shirt, red and white heart patterned boxers, and purple thigh-high platform boots. He is a chubby Latino trans man with light brown skin, lilac hair pulled into a tiny ponytail, a goatee and stubble, a lot of body hair, and faint top surgery scars on his chest. He is also wearing black plug gauges, rectangular glasses, and black nail polish. Poundcake is a brown and white pit bull wearing a purple collar and matching chain leash.

Tim is standing with a vague expression, absently scratching his back with one knee bent, looking somewhere off-screen while Poundcake lifts her leg to pee on a tree. She is also smiling and licking her lips. The background is a tree and vague shapes of bright green foliage. end ID]

~~~~

when the early morning walk's pre-walk zoomies keep you from assembling an actual Outfit but you're too tired to care about the neighbors' opinions

outfit pieces chosen from this poll here (thank you everyone for voting) and in case you're wondering Yes poundcake is a girl dog, she's just doing that because she's butch (source: my dog does this and she is also butch)

[loki-laufeyson223]

A New Heir Part 1

Word Count: 552

Warnings: Pregnancy mentions, Loki being an excited soon to be father, like one "cuss word", and leg-kicking fluff

I wake up and turn over slightly and feel rustling behind me in the soft silk sheets and deep green comforter. “Darling? What are you doing? Are you alright?”, my husband, Loki, asks from behind me. “You child is kicking the hell out of my bladder and I have to pee.”, my husband quickly gets out of bed and makes his way to my side to help me up. “Here, let me help you.”, he insists, helping me hobble, still half asleep, to the bathroom. 

I heard him go into the kitchen and fill up my army green Stanley he bought for my birthday in March, then we had only just recently learned I was pregnant. Loki sets the cup down on the nightstand on my side of the bed and walks back towards the bathroom when he hears the toilet flush, letting him know that I need help. “Never get too much sleep with a Lokison.”, I remarked on the way back to the bed.

 Loki’s eyes went wide with shock, I completely forgot I hadn’t yet revealed the gender of our baby yet. “I guess the cat’s out of the bag.”, I chuckle. Loki is still staring at me with complete and utter shock, mouth hanging slightly open. “What is it honey? Is there something wrong?”  “No, no. Nothing at all whatsoever. It’s just... we're having a boy. Now we absolutely have to come up with a name. Oh gods, I can’t wait darling-”, I cut him off by placing a finger over his mouth and he grabbed my hand and pressed a kiss to my palm and he hummed.

 “Loki, yes we are having a son and yes I cannot wait either but, it’s 2:30 in the morning. I would love to celebrate tomorrow but, as of right now I’m beat and like I said there is never much sleep with a Lokison.” Loki rolls his eyes at me but, as I move my hand up to cup his cheek he leans into my touch smiling as he nuzzles his nose into my palm. “Yes of course darling.”, he says, adjusting my pillow so I can lay back down and covering me up with the comforter.

 I let out a long breath I didn’t even know I was holding as Loki sinks into bed beside me. “Oh, my dear there is no way possible for you to understand just how excited I am for our child to arrive.”, I beam up at him just at the smile I hear in his voice. As I look at him I see a clear, sleek film covering my husband’s eyes. He wraps me in his strong arms, holding me as close as possible with my 8 month belly, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “Goodnight my dear.”, he says softly.

 “What about Narfi?”  “What about it?”  “For the baby. I like the sound of it. Narfi Lokison, it fits.”  “Narfi Lokison…”  He slowly repeats, as if testing out the name. “I quite like it dearest.”  “Really?”  “Of course! I think we should use it. I love it. Now, what were you saying earlier? That you were beat. In that case, should we get to bed?”  “Now that sounds good.”  “Goodnight my queen.”  “Goodnight my king.”

[liminalpebble]

Stray (A Lokitty Tale): Part 2

Part 1 link

A/N: Hi all. This began as a prompt suggestion by @mischief2sarawr and has since grown three heads and answers to no one. It's now a multipart, very fluffy, story about Lokitty. I have no idea where I'm going with this except definitely to the comfort district of fluff town...maybe driving through a little traffic jam of angst on the way there.

Synopsis: It's 1971 and you're a single shop girl living in the tumultuous, often damp, city of Seattle, feeling lost and alone. Meanwhile, Loki (under the guise of D.B. Cooper) is on the run from Thor the moment he jumped out of that plane. After crash landing in a dumpster and disguising himself as a stray cat to lay low, he becomes your beloved feline room mate and an unusual friendship begins to grow.

Stray: Part 2

While the human was away, Loki sprawled out his long Asgardian body across your floor, passing the time with your extensive collection of books. It felt good to him, having arms and legs to stretch again, and opposable thumbs to turn the pages. Staying in a conjured form for too long could be taxing, and the breaks would be welcome, especially since he couldn't be sure how long this little arrangement might continue.

The god of mischief smiled a bit to himself, recalling how you had bustled around in your little uniform, getting ready for your day. You were obviously in a hurry, but you still took the time to stroke his fur and scratch under his chin while you talked to him.

“Good morning, little guy. I left some food out for you and the heater on. I'll be home late...hopefully with all the stuff you might need. Please don't pee in my shoes.”

Suddenly you stopped and rolled your eyes, raising up again to hurry out the door. “Jesus Christ, I'm talking to the cat again.”

Loki chuckled at that (well, meowed with amusement) and found, to his horror, that he was actually sad to lose your company for the day. He found he was becoming very curious about you.

Well, come on, he told himself, it's just that you're naturally curious and it's not like you have much else to occupy your time for now. Might as well observe the mortal.

Satisfied with his rationalization, he listened for the door to click shut and your heels to click down the hall. Once he was sure you were gone he returned to his usual body, and busied himself with your bookshelf, running his pale graceful fingers over the spines with delight.

She certainly has eclectic taste, he mused. The little apartment was crowded with books of all kinds; everything from Shakespeare to comic books, and where there weren't books, there were tidy stacks of records (again, a very eclectic assortment). His took it all in with gusto, fascinated by his choices of entertainment.

He blazed through several mystery novels (which were underwhelming as he was always well ahead of the reveal). Seeking the next read, his perceptive eyes landed on an antique volume, Norse Mythology. He smirked as he slid the book into his palm.

Now this should be interesting.

In a predictably self-indulgent move, he looked for an entry about himself, landing unfortunately on a beautifully illustrated page about Thor. He crinkled his nose in disgust and let the book drop to the floor, but as the tome landed with a thunk, it dropped open to the chapter with his name as the title. He lowered himself to the floor, laying on his belly as he read about his glorious self.

The description wasn't the most flattering. It painted the trickster god as a cruel and violent nuisance, but he had to admit that wasn't entirely inaccurate. There was, however, a glorious illustration in the style of an illuminated manuscript. Green and gold calligraphy snaked out the letters of his name and below it was a very handsome illustration highlighting his bright kaleidoscopic eyes and sharp rakish face (although they always got the hair wrong by painting it a garish shade of red). Oh well, what could one expect from foolish mortals.

His musing was suddenly interrupted by the sound of heels clicking down the hallway. In a panic he looked outside and realized it was already dusk. He had lost track of the time. As he heard your jostling and struggling to unlock the door one-handed, he quickly changed back to his feline form. Loki realized, a moment too late, that he hadn't had time to put the books back from where they laid sprawled out on the floor where he had been reading.

You finally shouldered your way inside, huffing and puffing, arms loaded with a heavy shopping bag. You set it down carefully and kicked your heels off forcefully, feeling weirdly satisfied that they smacked against the wall. (You always hated the damn things, and tended to punish them like this for the pain inflicted on your feet each day).

You smiled to where the sleek black cat was laying with his paws crossed delicately over the pages of a book, tail flicking lazily as if this wasn't at all odd. Loki noticed the quizzical expression on your face as you noticed the books on the floor. “Hey, buddy,” you chirped sweetly, “How the hell did you knock these off?”

“Mrrow,” the cat grumbled.

“Okay, okay. Keep your secrets you little magician,” you said, joining him on the floor and collecting the books. When you came to the volume under his paws, he refused to move them. He thought indignantly, I'm not done reading this! Though he was well aware he wouldn't be getting his way.

“Hrmmm,” you hummed, “Loki, the trickster...” as you traced your hand over the gold script. “He was always my favorite of the Norse gods, you know?”

“Meow?”

“Yeah! The tricksters always make life interesting, right?”

“Meroww.”

“See. I knew you'd agree with me.” You put a pensive finger to your lips. “He'd probably be a good namesake for your, huh, you mischievous scamp? I guess it's better than calling you “buddy” or “little guy” all the time.”

I should damn well think so, madam.

Loki watched curiously as you rose you to your feet, digging something out of your kitchen junk drawer. “Aha!” you exclaimed as you pulled out a green leather watchband (the clock was broken then lost long ago). Pulling out a marker you carefully wrote the name “Loki” in clear block letters on the tattered leather, then gently fastened the band around his neck. Smiling and stroking his fur with your warm hand you said, “Okay, Loki. You look very handsome,” you declared massaging his velvety cheeks with your thumbs. In return, you introduced yourself, saying your name and shaking his paw. “Nice to meet you, Loki.”

Loki wanted to protest this patronization, but your affection felt so pleasant, and it gave him a warm feeling to hear you call him “handsome”.

“Oh! I have...uh...stuff. I think this is the right stuff...Here, look, I've got a litter box and a little bed for you and I got a few different kinds of food. I'm not sure which one you might like best.”

You stopped abruptly, saying once again under your breath, “Jesus Christ...talking to the cat again, you lonely weirdo.”

Loki shot a paw out, tapping your arm and then nuzzling into it. And although you knew it couldn't be more than an animal trying to use you as a heating pad, it seemed like he was trying to say thank you, trying to say that he liked you talking to him and doting on him...and that he wanted to be held.

Crazy...I'm going crazy. I'm a crazy lonely cat lady, and I'm gonna die alone here someday and this cat is going to eat my eyeballs.

Still, it tugged your heartstrings as the little tomcat reached out its paws to your shoulders meowing and purring gently as it attempted to climb into your arms...and who were you to deny him?

Hesitantly, you reached out and held him against you, stroking gently and nuzzling your face against him.

You said quietly with a note of grateful awe, “Awww. I didn't expect you to be such an affectionate little guy.”

Neither did I. Loki thought, even more surprised than you were.

@mischief2sarawr @ladyofthestayingpower @acidcasualties @unlucky-number-13 @goblingirlsarah @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokihiddleston @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl @marcotheflychair @smolvenger @alexakeyloveloki @littlespaceyelf @loopsisloops @joyful-enchantress @eleniblue @loz-3 @the-haven-of-fiction @sweetsigyn @muddyorbs @icytrickster17 @holdmytesseract @thenerdyoldersister @thedistractedagglomeration @sailorholly @peachyjinx @coldnique @sarahscribbles @peaches1958 @infinitystoner @mischiefmaker615 @coldnique @jennyggggrrr @tripleyeeet @itsybitchylittlewitchy @mochie85 @huntress-artemiss

[wolfawaycamp]

Rylan gets together during camp. After finding out, Chris gives Dylan a (very light) shovel talk.

🐰 turns out that I CANNOT be brief talking about these two but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. :3

The green rectangle of the swimming pool glowed like an emerald in the night, its undisturbed surface both tranquil and tantalizingly forbidden, as Dylan and Ryan made their way to the low brick wall surrounding it, to the the torn panel of the chainlink fence. It had taken Dylan the better part of three weeks to convince Ryan to give him a shot, but now that he finally had, Dylan was working on convincing him to bend a rule or two in the name of some harmless fun.

It was a sweltering July night, stuffy even at this elevation in the Catskills, and Dylan had floated the idea of a night swim without really expecting his new boyfriend to take him up on it. Ryan rarely did anything he thought might displease their boss. But even the camp-leader’s pet struggled to sleep in this heat, and perhaps Ryan was finding it difficult to resist the temptation of a little one-on-one time between the two of them. Dylan could flatter himself by thinking so, anyway.

He climbed easily onto the top of the low wall and held a hand out to Ryan, hauling his boyfriend up next to him. “Mr. H should really get this fixed,” Dylan said, grinning like a Cheshire Cat in the moonlight, “seems like an insurance liability for the pool to be this accessible. An attractive nuisance, I think they call it.”

“You’re an attractive nuisance,” Ryan teased, shoving Dylan off the edge of the wall and jumping down after him.

“Hmm, all I hear is that you think I’m attractive.” Dylan preened, winking over his shoulder at Ryan, who shoved him again, playfully, closer to the pool.

“The emphasis was on the ‘nuisance’ part,” Ryan countered, and Dylan shot him a fake pout. Ryan grabbed Dylan by his shirt, pulled him in for a kiss that was soft and warm and perfect—albeit entirely too short—and, fuck, he could really get used to that. “Of course I think you’re attractive, you massive dork. I’m dating you, aren’t I?”

Ryan could be pretty direct. Dylan was pretty into that. “Well, every time you say that, I end up pinching myself to see if I’m dreaming and, unbelievably, I’ve been awake every time, so I think the answer is yes.”

Ryan shook his head, but one of those cute little half-smiles tugged upwards at the corner of his mouth, even as he turned away in a failed attempt to hide it.

“So, how long d’you think it takes for the pool to cycle through enough fresh water so that it’s less than one third urine?” Dylan asked, staring into the deep end.

Ryan’s nose crinkled in disgust. “Okay, gross, you talked me into getting in there with you and now you’re talking about urine.”

“I’m just stating facts, man. You know the kids pee in there. They just do. That’s why the chlorine smell is so strong. Pure chlorine doesn’t even smell like that. It’s a chemical reaction between the chlorine and the ammonia in urine and sweat and stuff, gives off these chemicals called chloramines and that’s what you smell in the pool.”

“That’s enough professor, you’re ruining chlorine smell with your chemistry bullshit and it’s one of my favorite smells! Stop saying the word ‘urine’ and take your shirt off.” Ryan emphasized this by taking his shirt off and Dylan didn’t think he’d ever get tired of gazing at a shirtless Ryan for as long as he lived.

“Okay, yeah, I hear you, less chemistry,” Dylan pulled his own t-shirt off over his head, “more, uh, chemistry.” He waggled his eyebrows, hoping the feigned swagger was convincing enough.

Ryan ignored the quip and dove into the pool. Dylan followed, hurling himself gracelessly into the water with a laugh. The pool was still warm from the day’s sunlight, but getting wet made the air feel cooler when they back came up, at least.

“Keep your voice down,” Ryan shout-whispered, “Chris’ll freak if he catches us out here.”

“Oh, come on, what’s he gonna do, fire us?” Dylan flicked water at Ryan who splashed a little back at him. “We’re already understaffed. I’d like to see the old boy try to work the PA system, do all the scheduling, and teach all those sailing classes himself.”

“He probably could do the sailing,” Ryan reasoned, “he’s the one who taught me when I was a kid.”

“Yeah, but now he’s like 100, no way he could haul kids out of that lake like you do.” Dylan put a hand on Ryan’s upper arm and even this chaste contact sent a thrill running through his entire body. They hadn’t been together long and they’d barely ever been alone together. Getting to touch Ryan at all still felt like a privilege. “No way he has the upper body strength.”

“Stop talking about Mr. H,” Ryan said, “stop talking, period,” and Dylan might have taken offense if it hadn’t been clear from his tone and the look in his eyes, the way he’d come closer and angled his face upward towards Dylan’s, that Ryan had other plans for their mouths—better plans.

Dylan nodded, leaning in close, and then… a beam of blinding light landed on them from the other side of the fence. Ryan jumped away from Dylan as though he’d been electrocuted and Dylan ducked his head under the surface of the water as if he could hide, as if they hadn’t already been seen.

He surfaced to the sound of Mr. Hackett shouting, “Ryan, Dylan, out of the pool, please.”

Dylan risked a glance at his boyfriend and had to stifle a laugh at Ryan’s wide-eyed expression. As the chastened boys exited the pool and tried to quickly towel dry and wring out their trunks while still wearing them, Ryan whispered, “I told you we were gonna get caught!”

“Yeah, yeah, save it. You can gloat later.” Dylan whispered back, pulling on his shirt and cringing a little at how it stuck to his damp torso.

“I am not gloating! It’s not like I wanted us to get in trouble!”

Dylan clambered onto the wall and helped Ryan over again and Ryan immediately fell all over himself to apologize to their boss, who was standing there in his usual head-to-toe khaki ensemble as the two boys dripped miserably in front of him.

“I’m really sorry Chris, I…” Ryan began, and Mr. Hackett, flashlight in one hand, held the other up to silence him.

“I don’t wanna hear it. Ryan, you go straight back to your cabin right now, I’d like to have a word with Dylan.”

“Hey, no, it was my idea,” Ryan lied, and Dylan immediately corrected him, doing his best to ignore the warmth that spread through him at Ryan’s attempt to take the blame.

“It was definitely not his idea,” he said simply.

“Look, I don’t care whose idea it was, you both broke a rule and you’re in the same amount of trouble. And we will talk about it in the morning. Ryan, go to bed.”

Dylan and Ryan gave each other a nod, resigned to their fates, and Ryan headed back to his cabin. Dylan turned to face the camp leader, who had begun walking toward Dylan’s cabin on the far end of the circle near the radio hut. He wasn’t speaking now, so Dylan broke the silence.

“So, uh, am I… fired?”

“No, god no. Dylan, nobody’s fired! I haven’t fired Jacob or Emma for any of their antics yet, why would I start with you?” Mr. H asked and Dylan had to admit this was a fair point. “I wouldn’t even care about you two being in the pool,” he went on, “if I didn’t have to worry about the kids in your cabins needing something while you were distracted.”

“Oh, right. Okay. Then, uh, what did you wanna talk about?”

“You and Ryan, you’re obviously involved and I just… I want you to be careful, okay?”

Oh. Oh no. Oh no. Was Dylan’s boss trying to have a safe sex talk with him right now? Had he had it with Ryan already? Well, this was mortifying. He thought he might rather have been fired. Plus, what was the point if they kept getting interrupted before anything worth getting a lecture over could even happen?

“We’re not, I mean, we haven’t, y’know, not yet anyway…” Dylan floundered, his cheeks flushing, “we haven’t really had time, but if we ever did, I mean I’m sure we will and, when we do, then we’ll definitely be…”

“No, that’s,” Mr H. chuckled awkwardly, “that’s not what I meant, although you definitely should, uh, use protection. And, please don’t do… that when you’re on the clock. But what I meant was, be careful with his feelings.”

“His… feelings?”

Dylan blinked at him blankly. Of all the outcomes he’d imagined for this relationship, him hurting Ryan’s feelings had never even occurred to him. In fact, Dylan had thought the most likely scenario would involve his own heart getting pulverized in the end.

“I’ve known Ryan for years. He’s like a… close family friend at this point,” Mr. H said, and Dylan only realized when he finished the statement that he’d been expecting him to say Ryan was like a son to him, but he hadn’t. “I don’t know how much he’s told you about his family life.”

“Not a lot, actually,” Dylan admitted.

“Well that’s his decision, but I don’t think he’d mind me saying that it hasn’t always been easy for him. Feels like he’s maybe looking for some kind of stability. And that’s not always something you can get out of a relationship when you’re this young. I remember being your age, everything feels really intense. I just… don’t want to see him get hurt.”

“Mr. H., I—I really like Ryan,” Dylan said, feeling awkward as hell but being very earnest, “I’m trying my best not to fu—uh fumble this, okay? And you’re kind of… well you’re sorta freaking me out, actually, but I, um, appreciate the sentiment, anyway. I don’t want Ryan to get hurt either.”

“Well, that’s good to hear. Because I think Ryan really likes you too.”

“You do?” Dylan swallowed. “What, uhh, what makes you think that?”

“Because,” Mr. H smiled, “he just lied to my face trying to keep you out of trouble. That kid never lies. He’s… really bad at it.”

“Oh. Yeah, he really is,” Dylan agreed. “Wait, Mr. H, is this the part where you tell me you know a guy who can make me disappear if I do anything to hurt him?” Dylan laughed, softly, at his own joke, but Mr. Hackett didn’t.

The camp leader let out a long-suffering sigh instead, clapping the young man on his damp shoulder. “Let’s just both hope it doesn’t come to that, Dylan, hm?”

[notstilinski]

Book Lovers Starters !

Taken from the 2022 novel by Emily Henry, Book Lovers! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“Is she a baker? The woman you’re leaving me for.”

“What went wrong is that, in a past life, I betrayed a very powerful witch, and that put a curse on my love life.”

“All I need from them is a full credit report, psych evaluation, and a blood oath.”

“Oh my god, what is that? Are you planning a bank robbery?”

“FOR ALL I KNOW, YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE FEELINGS.”

“I could tie a bedsheet around your ankle and drag you up.”

“I’m a grown adult, (Name). I can buy my own Bigfoot erotica, thank you very much.”

“You are in control. You won’t let anything bad happen to them ever again.”

“I wouldn’t call it bloodlust. I don’t revel in exsanguination. I do it for my clients.”

“(Name) is here. Everything must be okay.”

“You really are sickeningly good at everything, you know that, right?”

“If you offer to lend me your Crocs again, I’m going to sue you for emotional damages.”

“To be known isn’t necessarily to be admired.”

“If I knew the answer to that, (Name), I’d have ascended to a higher plane.”

“Yeah, well, you should try almost marrying then and see if that helps.”

“If you’re into cat pee and gasoline.”

“I’m going to be up all night making diagrams and charts, trying to figure out what you just said.”

“You are much weirder than I thought.”

“Do they eat outsiders?”

“Can it really be called fanfiction if the author clearly isn’t a fan?”

“I can tell you’re pleased with yourself when your eyes go all predatory like that.”

“(Name) will listen to you. You could sell snake oil to a snake oil salesman.”

“The ship of their disappointment in me set sail a long time ago. I’d have to do something WAY sluttier to let them down now.”

“Right. There will make it easier to knock them out and empty his pockets. What should our signal be?”

“If you’re looking for your dignity, you won’t find it here.”

“Does that mean you want to date my bullies, or to humiliate them?”

“And that’s how they discovered your passion for serial killing.”

“So I’ve found the key to (Name)’s joy. My sexual humiliation.”

“Is it possible you don’t have any pain receptors?”

“You’re right. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to accept this can’t be anything.”

“Next time try not to look so excited at the thought of misery. It’ll help you blend in better.”

“Yes, together we add up to one emotionally competent human, a real accomplishment.”

“I would be adorable in Daisy Dukes and pigtails.”

“What do you think the age gap is between these actors? Sixty-eight years?”

“There are far worse things to be. Normal is a badge I wear proudly.”

“And by you’ve seen me, you mean you’ve watched me.”

“You’re not a disappointment. You’re not wrong.”

“I’ll remember you begging until my last dying breath.”

“You fucking undo me.”

“I just don’t want to be here anymore. I want it to stop.”

“You look like you haven’t slept in years.”

“You’re not useless, (Name). I mean, look at all this.”

“If we stay together, every single day for the rest of our lives is going to be the same.”

“I once had a sex dream about the green M&M.”

“If (Name) had known how hot the reverend is, they probably would’ve made it down here sooner.”

“If I had to pick one person to be in my corner, it’d be you. Every time. You take care of shit.”

“I wanted to help. I wanted to take care of you.”

“See? I’m perfectly harmless over here.”

“Yes, you have lost something but maybe, someday, you’ll find something too.”

“What about what you want? Who’s making sure you’re happy, (Name)?”

“You do have me, (Name). I never stood a chance.”

“I had no idea it was possible for you to want me as much as I want you.”

“(Name). You shouldn’t have to be alone through that.”

“It’s just… Ever since then, it’s been hard to imagine letting anyone close like that. Not when I’m so fucking broken I can’t sleep anywhere but my own bed.”

“Don’t be sorry. Please don’t apologize for letting me know you.”

“For what it’s worth, I doubt I will ever like anyone else in the world as much as I like you.”

“Sometimes the first act is the fun part, and then everything gets too complicated.”

“A week ago I liked you so much I would have wanted to try to make this work. But now I think I might love you too much for that.”

“If anyone could be enough, I think it might be you.”

[insipid-drivel]

Tack And Upkeep: The Equine Influencer's Daily Routine

This is a continuation of my post, "Horses: Since There Seems To Be A Knowledge Gap". The first post I'm pretty satisfied addressed general horsie behavior and what's genuinely realistic in portraying horses, riding, and the relationships between horses and their riders that most people just plain don't know because you only learn it by working with them. The overall reception to the first post has been sincerely touching and inspiring from those of you who have shared and tagged or commented, so let's expand your knowledge some more! In this post, I'll be addressing the specific routines horses go through on a daily basis to be happy and healthy, and covering the different names and uses of tack.

Warning: This Is Going To Be A Very Long Post And So I've Placed A Readmore Below

Phase One: The Asscrack of Dawn

Horses are extremely high-maintenance and demanding animals when it comes to their routine upkeep. They're highly routine-focused, and will literally scream at the tops of their lungs if you're late in getting to the barn. If you think your cat is strict with their daily routines? It's because they learned it from horses, I'm 99% sure. My mom was once late as a teenager to getting to her horse and feeding him breakfast. He responded by picking the latch on his stall door, escaping from his paddock, and nosing his way past her bedroom window to whinny at her asleep in bed so she would get up and feed him. Like "I know where your stall is, too!"

Horses usually want to start the day in the pre-dawn hours. This is why stable hands and squires are essential throughout history. We adorn our eye crusties from rolling out of bed around 4am with oat dust as we head to the barn and first start with breakfast while you're able to stay in bed and sleep in time to get to work without being so sleep-deprived you walk into your car door instead of getting inside it.

So, what do horses like to eat anyway?

-Hay: The generic Wheaties of the horse world. Hay is a mix of dried grasses and healthy herbs meant for general munching and snacking on when the horse is in their stall or otherwise has no access to a pasture for grazing. They tend to be pretty "meh, okay" on being presented with hay, which we stable hands deliver in wheelbarrows and go from stall to stall filling each horse's individual feed bucket/trough. Hay and straw are not the same. Straw isn't very edible for livestock, and is almost exclusively used for insulation and bedding instead of food.

-Alfalfa, aka Clover flakes:

(source)

Alfalfa flakes, or clover flakes as I'm used to saying, are a sweet-smelling, green bale of lightly dried and compressed alfalfa and clover. The bale itself can be broken up into flat, square "flakes" that we often present to horses like treats. The flakes can either be placed on the ground in the stall (not recommended; they poo and pee there), or in a loose net, open-topped grid, or some other form of mounted feeder they can comfortably snack on. The flakes themselves smell very sweet, herbal smell that was always my favorite when I was a stable hand.

-Oats: Oats are kind of the treat of treats for horses, and are carefully measured and controlled when it comes to portioning. Horses tend to love oats so much that, if allowed to, they will literally eat until their stomachs rupture and die. Every barn and every horse has different dietary needs, such as ratios for oats vs. alfalfa vs. hay in order to keep them healthy.

-Molasses: Horses absolutely love sugar, but molasses in particular is something they go crazy for. When I was learning to barrel race and was establishing my working relationship with my Quarterhorse, Chip, my mom would help me out by making homemade horse treats consisting of rolled oats, molasses, and chopped up bits of apple that I'd slip to him when it was time for me to bring him his breakfast.

-Apples: The stereotype is true that horses adore apples, carrots, and other safe-to-eat fruits and veggies. But again, we treat these like actual treats, since they wouldn't be something a horse could safely eat in large quantities without developing stomach and intestinal problems.

-Thistles:

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Horses go absolutely hogwild for thistles like the ones that grow in Scotland, Ireland, England, and Wales. They're a common sight along a lot of roads in the US nowadays, too, and while they're spiky as hell to us, horses are kinda like giraffes in that they have very tough mouth and tongue tissues designed to be tough against thorny and rigid vegetation. If you happen to be a fan of artichokes (also thistles), you may understand why horses get so excited to eat the little purple flowering ones! They're just yummy to 'em.

A very good rule of thumb to follow when it comes to writing up a rough feeding routine for your OC's horse, think of the natural ratios of food a wild horse would find. They would mostly eat grasses, with limited access to grains and fruits, and alfalfa/clover only tends to grow in large patches compared to the way grass likes to spread everywhere, so even the alfalfa would be lower on the list of most-eaten foods for a horse. As for stuff like thistles; those are treats even among horses. Stable hands will put up with a lot of literal horseshit, but the horses can forage for thistles themselves.

Phase Two: Bathtime

Now, routines can vary, but in my experience, the horses tend to be more relaxed and cooperative for cleanup time after they've been given breakfast, but every owner runs their barn differently.

The first thing we do is put a halter on. This is a halter:

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The difference between a halter and a bridle is a bit like the difference between a sports bra and a steel-boned corset: One you can stand to sleep in if you have to, while the other is there for good looks and tight control. Most horses don't mind wearing a halter 24/7, while others are crafty enough to figure out how to rub their heads against a tree/fence/stable door to slip their halter off.

It is possible to ride with a halter instead of a bridle, but you basically have to be willing to trust the horse with your life/are learning to ride bareback (although even bareback riders will often still use a halter or bridle for their own safety, and to control the horse when they're not riding it). 99% of the time, the halter is just there to help us stable hands guide and direct the horse to where we need them to be, with the rings on the halter used for clipping things like ropes to them to control the horse's head:

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The above image is a good idea of how we "control" the horse's head. In the barns I worked at, we usually took the horses to a hitching spot just outside of the tack room to keep them warm inside while we prepped them for the day.

Once the horse is comfortable and properly controlled in place, it's first time to "swamp out" the stall behind them! A horse's stall only stays clean when the horse isn't in it, and so every time you're preparing to take the horse out or put them in their stall, it's essential to clean the stall first. This means shoveling poo and soiled straw and hosing down the stall floor (most modern barns these days keep heavy rubber mats on the stall floors to keep the horses warmer and more comfortable in general), distributing fresh straw for them to sleep in, refilling water buckets, and topping off hay feeders. Once all that's done, we turn our attention to the horse.

Bathtime Stage 1: The Gear

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The diagram above is a bit fussy and more meant for show horses, but it gives the gist of what all we use to make sure the horses have their best glam day, every day. We'll often keep our grooming tools in designated bags or buckets that just make keeping track of our tools a lot easier than getting them one at a time.

ADVISORY: NEVER WALK BEHIND A HORSE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRUST AND LOVE THEM! The biggest etiquette no-no you can commit when practicing horse safety and working with horses is to walk behind them. Horses have nearly 360 degree vision, with their only blind spots being directly in front of and directly behind them. When you're in a horse's blind spot, if it's spooked in any way with its head restrained, its first response will be to kick. A kick from a horse can absolutely be lethal depending on how big the horse is, where they hit you, and how hard they kick. A horse will easily kill you by breaking your skull if their back hoof impacts your head. To avoid being kicked by a horse if you have no other way to get around them, you literally hug their butt with your body while scooching around to the side you need to get to. Only once you're clear of the horse's back hooves can you un-hug that booty and step away. That way, if the horse does decide to kick, they're more likely to scoop you up on their legs and knock you aside than pummel you with an iron-soled fist made of thumbnails compressed to be hard enough to crush a wolf's skull.

Bathtime Stage 2: Brushies!

Now, brush time is usually happy time for the horse! It feels good and is very much like stimming for them. On more than one occasion, I've actually had horses doze off and start snoring while standing up as I was brushing them because they were having such a nice time. It's a myth that horses always sleep standing up like cows do; they usually hunker down in their piles of straw and curl up like even bonier borzois, but they can nap standing up. And yes, horses can and do snore! They can fart hilariously loud, too. I've never heard such thunderous cheek-clapping as when I've heard horses farting.

Generally speaking, the body-brush we use is called the "dandy brush" in the above diagram, but I was always used to calling it the "bristle" brush, because they're usually made with the bristles taken from wild boar hides to make them. We generally brush their bodies with the dandy brush for as long as our arms can hold out, because you never can get all the dirt and shed hair out when you're brushing a horse, and we're going to bathe them anyway.

Some horses don't like having their faces brushed, and don't usually need it unless they actually have gotten dirty. That's when we use the face brush, which is much narrower with denser, yet slightly softer bristles for working out mud spots and dirt without irritating the horse's skin. I, personally, would only spot-clean visible dirt, and then use a small washcloth during bathtime to give horses a face wash.

A "curry comb" is just a brush with very thick, firm pegs or wire bristles that's meant for breaking apart thick cakes of mud matting in the horse's hair. Horses instinctively like to roll in mud and dirt as a natural way of keeping pets like flies away and to keep cool in the heat - especially after they've just been bathed and prepped for a show goddammit - and so they can come in from the pasture pretty heavily caked in mud, and proud of it. Curry or wire combs just help break up dried mud and loosen it from the horse's skin so it's easier to wash out.

Combing a horse's mane and tail are also essential to their care, just like it's important to care for your hair on a regular basis to keep it from matting and getting yucky. Their manes and tails tend to be very, very wiry and stiff, and it can be surprisingly tricky to work out tangles and knots. Along with a very sturdy steel comb, sometimes we'll use something like coconut oil - which is safe for their skin and if they ingest it - like a natural leave-in conditioner to help us work out bad tangles without hurting the horse. Braiding a horse's mane and tail is highly traditional, especially in folklore from the British Isles. To this day, legend says that if you find your horse's mane and tail braided overnight one day, the faeries snuck into the barn and did it as a show of favor!

There's actually a huge link between horses and Celtic folklore that's really fun to explore, but that's another post.

Stage 3: Hoof Picking

While stable hands and riders aren't necessarily trained to trim a horse's hooves, we do keep their feet and legs healthy through regular "picking". Maintaining a horse's hooves is how you can directly protect them from injury and illness, and is probably the most important part of a stable hand's job in prepping a horse for the day.

(source)

Horseshoes are always crafted to sit on the very outermost edges of the bottom of a horse's hoof, as that's where their feet spend the most time impacting the ground as they walk. As you look inward, their hooves actually have hollow spaces in the bottom like the arches to the sole of a person's foot. The person in the above photo is using a hoof pick to gently scrape out dirt, mud, rocks, and any other bad stuff that can get gunked up in those hollow spots.

In my experience, horses are often trained to lift each leg on command for picking-time by either a verbal command, or a gentle squeeze to the tendon on the leg you want them to lift. For most of my working time, the signal was two light squeezes on the back of the leg.

Once a horse lifts their leg up for picking, it's easier for people who have limited physical strength to straddle either side of the horse's bent leg, facing away from the horse's face, and help keep the hoof held up with one hand while picking and cleaning it out with the other. While we're picking, we're looking closely for anything that could hurt the horse later. The #1 worst thing to find in a horse's hoof is a rusty nail, which are very, very common around a farm setting, and can cause a serious and life-threatening infection if it's able to pierce the horse's foot. We also check for any smells or visual signs that the horse is injured or hurting.

Regarding horseshoes and nail trims: It's pretty uncommon for your everyday stablehand to trim your horse's hooves. A significant, yet essential, cost for any horse owner is maintaining a ferrier, or horse foot specialist, whose main job is to maintain a horse's feet. Many nowadays are also equipped to make and fit their own horseshoes on-site for if your horse "casts a shoe" (has a horseshoe come loose and fall off), so they can fit them with a new one at the same time as they're trimming up their nails. I met one ferrier that actually had a miniature forge in the back of his work truck. It was awesome watching him work.

Stage 3: The Bath Begins

For the sake of their long-term health, most working ranches will see to it that their horses are bathed daily - sometimes multiple times - just like giant dogs. Horses that aren't ridden every day or are otherwise kept more like pets don't typically need as much bathing, but you should never put tack on a dirty horse. Horses don't have fur; they have hair like humans do, and so we use special horse-formulated shampoos and conditioners for bathtime, even in winter when it's so cold your hands go numb carrying in the water buckets.

I've never encountered a horse that was bothered by cold water, but that's because I live in a region that gets very cold winters, and I always bathed horses inside the barn where it was warm on days where it was very cold out. Some horses will refuse to cooperate unless they have tepid or warm water to bathe with (or will only allow a cold water bath if it's already very hot outside), and you have to be careful when around their legs and feet, since they'll sometimes stomp their legs from the sensation of water dripping off them.

For the most part, you only need to wash a horse from neck to backside, and down their legs, and you want to get them wet with their bathwater first before you apply any shampoo. Then, gently rub/massage with a soft sponge or grooming gloves until caked-on mud gives way and the shampoo starts to really lift away dirt and grime. We always wash manes and tails, but we never use shampoo or soap on their faces! Like I said before, a soft, damp cloth and regular water is usually all that's needed to bathe a horse's face.

Blow-drying horses isn't usually something I'm used to seeing, as they don't tend to appreciate the noise. Microfiber towels, or even just regular paper towels, combined with a sweat scraper are usually enough to get the horse comfortable and able to air-dry the rest of the way. After the excess water is gone is when coat conditioners or skin moisturizers are applied, and if a horse needs to stay pretty before a show or event, it's not unusual to line their stalls with wood shavings instead of straw beforehand. Wood shavings wick away the moisture they want to roll off, and are also pretty easy to brush off before it's showtime.

Phase Three: Tacking Up

I'm going to break this up into two examples: English, and Western style tack. There is an absolutely massive array of different kinds of tack all over the world, but the most common forms of riding and tacking in the Western world are English and Western, and I'll be comparing the tack used in both.

Blankets:

English Saddle Blanket:

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Western Saddle Blanket:

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Blankets or saddle pads are essential to riding! Saddle blankets/pads help protect the saddle - which are universally Not Cheap - from the horse's sweat, dirt, and shed hair, the blanket itself also protects the horse from developing sores on their backs from the friction of the rider moving in the saddle. Generally speaking, the very first thing we grab when it's time to tack up the horse is the blanket or pad that goes under the saddle.

The essential aesthetic difference between Western and English blankets is mainly that: aesthetics. Western blankets tend to be a lot bigger and almost always rectangular, made of a heavy material like wool or alpaca fleece, and bearing some kind of flashy pattern woven into the blanket itself - the most common styles being either made by or reminiscent of local Native American art styles. An English blanket or pad is either much smaller (again, a key to the aesthetic of the English riding style is subtlety), can be made of smoother and lighter fabrics, and can even even cut specifically to fit beneath the saddle with as little excess material showing as possible.

Speaking of, a lot of indigenous groups in America sell things like hand-woven saddle blankets at shows, farmer's markets, and online as a way of supporting their community! There's nothing wrong with you, as a non-Native American, buying from a community that's willingly selling to you, and it's a great way to help both show them monetary support as well as show off their work to other potential customers. Horse-people talk a lot about where they get their gear!

Western vs English Saddles:

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As you may be able to see, Western saddles are a lot more complicated than English saddles, mostly because they're designed for different types of riding.

English saddles, and English riding, is usually considered the typical "fancy rich people horse show" riding style, and the most common things done with that riding style is something commonly called "showing". Western riders tend to practice more competition-based, sports-centered riding, while English riding is more about showing off you and your horse's grace, etiquette, and bearing, and it's usually the horse that gets the most scrutiny out of the judges; being assessed for the quality of their gait and their precision and speed in completing tasks like a jumping obstacle course.

As a result, English saddles don't have that many bells and whistles to them, and generally tend to be designed to be as light and unassuming as possible. As I've said before, I've never liked English riding, because I feel fragile in the saddle and like I can't really get stable to go fast, as I am a speed freak in the saddle.

Western saddles were designed to be tough, heavy, stand up to a lot of abuse, and give the rider plenty of room on the horse's back to move around and work. Western saddles are built to be less likely to slide off the center of the horse's back if the rider has to lean hard on one stirrup (such as to shoot a gun sideways or lasso a sprinting cow before it can barrel off the side of a gully and get itself killed). The iconic horn is largely used for holding things like coils of rope, and it's considered a Western riding etiquette no-no to cling to the horn for stability. The horn is not there to stabilize you. It's there to keep your hands free.

The stirrups are also very different. A Western style stirrup needs to be much thicker underneath the rider's foot in order to give the rider a better platform to stand on, as well as more static friction (yeah, physics is involved in this stuff) to keep them stable in the saddle when the horse is moving very fast or very aggressively while they're also doing their own thing on the horse's back. The extra long fenders compared to the English knee pad are also there to help keep the saddle itself, which can weigh up to 60lbs/27kgs, centered so it doesn't slide and dump the rider off!

English stirrups are more there to slot into the heel of a riding boot, which always have a tiny bit of a heel regardless of whether it's designed for a male foot or a female one, as the heel serves an active purpose for the riding process rather than being there for fashion. Riding boots are designed with a channel in the heel to more securely and comfortably align with the stirrups, and don't need to be very thick or tremendously sturdy to heavy use, as English riding is more about showing off the skill and communication between the rider and the horse with as few flaws as possible vs. something more sports-oriented like target shooting, where the judges are factoring in your accuracy:speed ratio.

The Dreaded Cinch:

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Depending on the rider and the style, a saddle can have either one or two cinches (leather belly straps). The frontmost strap usually fits behind the horse's front legs, out of the way where it could cause the horse any harm while running, and often comes with a pad to keep the strap from chafing the skin, and to help keep the front portion of the saddle centered. Most horses don't mind that strap, as it just needs to be tight enough to fit.

What every horse I've ever met hated is the center belly cinch, which is the primary cinch for a lot of riders. It's critical to keeping you, the rider, alive on horseback, but it's one of the least fun sensory experiences for the horse due to how tightly it needs to be drawn to keep the saddle steady regardless of speed. Some horses will inflate their bellies to look fatter while you're tightening the cinch up to try and trick you into leaving it a notch or two too loose. It doesn't actually hurt them to have the cinch properly tightened; they just find the sensation annoying and can get mischievous if they're having a lazy day.

After the belly cinch is tightened, if you share your saddle (such as if you're taking classes and rent the tack that goes on your horse), you also want to adjust the length of the stirrups to properly suit the length of your legs. If you own your saddle and aren't getting any taller or shorter, this is usually a skippable part because you've already done it a while ago.

Bridles:

Once again, there are different kinds of bridles for different uses! There are bitless bridles, like this:

Reasons for using bitless bridles can vary. A bridle with a bit usually doesn't do any harm to the horse while providing more control to the rider over where the horse is going with its head. Horses that spook easily, are prone to misbehaving, or just aren't very thoroughly trained yet are usually trained on bridles with bits in order so the rider can take control of the horse's head and better guide them in the direction they need to go.

Bitless bridles are naturally more comfortable for the horse, since nothing has to go in their mouths, and allows for them to do things like graze freely if you're riding them out in pastures and spaces where you're likely to take breaks from riding in places where food is growing. Horses with sensory issues, that were late in being trained to ride, or that have dental problems a bit would irritate tend to do better with bitless bridles, but the rider themselves have to be willing to sacrifice that extra control and trust the horse more.

What are bits for and what types are there?

The main bit types I've seen most in my experience are Snaffle Bits.

Snaffle Bits:

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As you can see, there are quite a few varieties of snaffle bits. In horse terminology, snaffle bits are considered "severe" bits, although they don't actually do any harm to the horse. "Severe" is more meant to describe the level of control and rigidity the bit provides to the rider compared to the level of freedom the horse has when they're riding together. Most horses are trained on and completely fine with snaffle bits, and if they do have any issues, the owner can switch types to see if the horse is more comfortable with a different type.

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With bits, their primary uses are to communicate with and direct the course of the horse's head when the rider pulls on or relaxes the reins in their grip. Some horses can be very flighty and need the help of a sturdy bit that has the potential of pinching the corners of their lips if the rider has to pull too hard to get them under control in the event of a scare. For other horses that don't need as much correction or situational control, they respond best to the sensation of the metal's pressure even on their tongue and lower jaw and move in the direction they feel the metal press the most firmly in their mouth.

Bits do not automatically destroy a horse's teeth. What a lot of people who haven't worked with horses aren't totally conscious of is that horse's jaw looks like:

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Between their frontmost teeth and molars, there's a huge gap where there's nothing but free space, and a bridle's bit is usually so small compared to the space the horse naturally has in its mouth that they can often comfortably graze and drink water with the bit still in, although some will try their hardest to spit the bit out when they want to eat, but that's more of a preference than a pain issue. Their front teeth are used for plucking food out of the ground (or biting the shit out of your unsuspecting stable hand's love handle when they're distracted), and they use their tongues to guide the food back toward their molars to chew. Experienced horses can often figure out how to eat around the bit still in their mouths, but they don't like it, and nice riders will take the bit out (you can do this without removing the bridle) when they're not needed so the horse can have its mouth back.

My character is in from riding. What's the routine like after you're done?

Firstly, if the horse is very hot and still huffing and puffing from all the work/running it's been doing, we'll swap their bridles out for halters, put them on a leading rope:

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Which, yes, can be tied into a bridle if you aren't a raging lazy ass like I was if you have the right type of rope, and then we'll take the horse on a cool-down walk in the paddock or a covered arena.

Like joggers and other heavy-exercisers, it's essential for the health of the horse's heart to help them slowly wind back down from working themselves into a literal sweat for so their heart rate gently returns to a lower pace. Stopping an overheated and overworked horse cold can actually be more stressful on them than if you take them for a slow, steady walk (sometimes just in circles until they slow down to a stop on their own), until they're steady and relaxed enough to be ready to tack down, brush out, and either let them back out to the paddock to roam, or put them to bed in their stall for the night with some fresh food and water. Their hooves are re-picked and checked again for any signs of damage or wear, and if they're especially sweaty, may need some towel-off time with a sweat-scraper and actual towels or fistfuls of straw.

The final, most important part of the day:

Spending quality one-on-one time with the horse with no tack, no riding, and no fussing around with work. Horses love to play, they crave affection and attention, and are extremely intelligent and curious. They get zoomies. They can be complete dorks. They can be love-bugs. They can even be protectors. They love following their favorite people around and watching what they're doing, and even try to involve themselves somehow (usually by flagrant acts of hat/jacket theft). They can get bored and destructive like puppies and kittens. If they're lonely for you and you haven't visited in a while, they'll chew on the edge of their fence to comfort themselves - it's called "cribbing".

You know those videos showing quirky families that live with a horse in their house part-time or full-time? That's not that unrealistic for horses at all. They're highly social, and prefer to sleep and live in close groups. They love to be pet and scratched, and often will try to reciprocate shows of cuddling and affection the best they can.

When a horse loves their rider, riding becomes fun for them both! When there's a real bond between them, the tacking and riding process can all be part of what the horse perceives as play and bonding time. Horses that are trained to do handle other sports, such as horseback sharpshooting, barrel racing, racing in general, polo, and the like can also genuinely enjoy the sports they play like human athletes!

[nichoskittycorner]

Kitty Play (A Nicholas Smut)

>> Having to deal with your cat's rut/heat is never fun. Especially with all the horrifying sounds they make. But you love your sweet kitty so of course you'll help by having him neutered so this doesn't happen ever again! Well plans change when it's no longer the sound of a cat in distress that wakes you, but a man.. a sexy, albeit distressed because horny… cat-eared man in between your legs-

>> Cat hybrid!Nicho, sex toys, oral/penetrative sex, dacryphilia (crying), sorta somnophilia (sleep), dry humping, hand jobs, sub!Nicho but like in a very pathetic and desperate way, pet names, degradation, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, dick riding, breeding kink (like it's his rut what did you expect), reader is referred to as Master- at this point if I forgot anything please just tell me 

Word count: 6.1k

A/N: I was supposed to be writing fluff… how did I get here-

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  A few weeks ago you decided to get yourself a pet. Your home was empty after moving out of the family house to start anew. At first, everything was exciting- learning a new routine, being independent, the whole nine yards!

  But loneliness quickly set in. You didn't want a roommate, that would be too complicated and you liked the privacy. So the next best thing, is a pet! 

  After doing tons of research, you decided a cat would be the best fit. Looking around shelters and the internet to find the perfect one for you. Was there even a perfect cat for you? 

  Well, the cat gods decided that for you when a black cat was splayed happily on your greeting mat one day. You nearly tripped over his fuzzy body as he rolled over and yawned. 

  A little meow left his mouth as he opened his stunning green eyes. Looking up as if to say, Hello! I'm home~ 

  You bend down and pat his head, a cat smile on his face as his head leaned more into your touch. Oh, he was adorable… 

 You did have to go to work but maybe a day off was necessary. Testing the waters, you picked up the small cat. Well small to a human but looked pretty grown up for a cat. 

  Much to your surprise, he didn't fight or scratch, just laid back happily and purred lowly in content. That sealed the deal for you. You took him inside and he was yours from that day on. 

  Naming the cat Nicholas, he seemed to adjust quickly to the life of a house pet. Lounging around, eating everything and anything you would give him (although he preferred when you fed him what was on your plate), snuggling and cuddling with him whenever. 

  He also seemed to be an attentive listener. His ears picked up and twitched whenever you would speak. Even meowing or purring in response when you'd ask a question. 

  Regardless of the fact that he couldn't speak, he quickly became your best friend. You loved that feline and hoped he loved you too. 

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    Things were going great with Nicho until one day he started acting strange. First, it was all the extra attention seeking. Rubbing his head on your legs, chest, just about everywhere. He was always so close to you. He was a cuddly cat but not to this extent usually.  At first, you thought it just him becoming more affectionate. 

  But then he started rolling around, his backside was always up in that air and his tail swishing around. Then the smell- you started to notice the smell of his pee just everywhere. 

  Then the noise. The yowling was loud and it was late at night the first time it happened. Shooting up from your sleep, you held the squirming and screaming cat in your arms with tears in your eyes. 

   Was something wrong? What caused this massive pain? Did you do something wrong? 

  You rushed him to the nearest emergency vet hoping they could help. The hours in the waiting room were painful as you hoped your angel would be alright. 

  The vet greeted you with a smile upon returning from the exam and some tests. You were left confused. 

  After handing you Nicholas back, he seemed calmer which was a relief. The vet explained that nothing was wrong and that he was just in a rut. The weight that was lifted from your shoulders was tremendous. 

  Since the cycle had already started, the vet recommended sticking out this cycle and having him neutered when it was over. You agreed to set a date and headed home. 

  After setting Nicho down at home, you sighed in relief. Making sure he was comfortable in his cat bed next to yours before settling in. That was quite the rollercoaster but at least now you had an answer and could take care of your kitty better. 

   A light smile on your lips as the blanket you held tightly warmed your body and lulled you off to sleep.

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  As you woke up, things seemed strange. Like why were you so cold and yet hot in certain places- the usual meow of your cat to greet you was replaced with a low grunting sound and most obviously, the bed was moving. 

  The first thought was an earthquake or an aftershock of one but opening your eyes revealed something much different. The blanket was haphazardly tossed to the side, someone who had a pair of large yet delicate hands was holding your thighs together. 

  And that shaking? Just the effect of your thighs being used as a makeshift fleshlight or something- your eyes landed on the red tip of a cock every time it pushed through fully before pulling back out again. 

  The shock was the biggest thing on your mind. What the heck was happening? Who the hell was this? And why your thighs…

  But it was clear they were either desperate or inexperienced because the thrusts were sloppy and almost dejected. 

  It made something feel strange inside of you. An exasperated sigh left your lips as you parted your legs, leaving the mystery humper with no relief. 

  As you sat up, you looked down at him. Not really getting a good look at his face before he was already latched onto your leg and humping that, still to no relief. You could hear a whimper leave him as he struggled. 

  "Um, excuse me? What are you doing?" That finally got the (naked) man to look at you. Eyes teary and a familiar shade of green, messy practically black hair, and honestly a beautiful well-sculpted face. Plump lips hung loosely in surprise. 

  As you spoke, you noticed his ears twitch… his cat ears? And the erratic swishing tail should've been a big clue too. But being half awake wasn't helping you catch clues.

  His lips shook as his eyes never left yours. A range of emotions swirls through his eyes. From desperation, pleading, needy, and even a familiar softness of love. Somehow embarrassment wasn't on that list. 

  "I-I, Master please help me, please…" 

  Master?! Who was this guy?! You didn't accidentally summon a sex demon, right? 

  "I'm sorry what? Who are you talking to? And how did you get into my house!?" The whole time you were questioning him, it seemed he was half listening, more preoccupied with rutting against your leg. 

  You had to get him to stop moving so he could focus. He was too big for you to hold him down so you had to do the next best thing- grabbing his hair. 

  It was a pretty firm grip you had on him. He luckily stopped moving but a loud moan left his lips. Just what was up with this guy?! 

  "Hey! What's your problem?! Are you some type of pervert?" All your questions seemed to go over his head. Like he was barely there. Too overtaken by his need to just hump, or fuck, or whatever it was. 

   You sat up, tucking your legs underneath you so he couldn't touch them anymore. He whined loudly, thrashing a bit in frustration. "Master, please! I need- please help me-" 

  "Look look, I'll try to help you but you need to answer my questions. Can you do that?" That seemed to get through to him, giving you a quick nod of confirmation. 

  You sighed and let him sit up, handing him a spare pillow to cover himself. Although he barely seemed to mind his nudity. That and he looked close to fucking the pillow already. 

  "I'll try to keep it quick. Who are you? And why are you calling me Master?" 

  His eyes lit up, his tail swinging in a more organized pattern immediately. "I'm Nicholas! You're my Master, my owner! I don't know your name…"

  Nicholas…As in Nicholas your cat?! No way- the confusion was clear on your face was evident. But the longer you looked, the more it made sense. The same coat color in his ears and tail, his stunning green eyes, even the way his ears twitched as you spoke. 

  You have heard about hybrids, they were pretty common actually. But to have unknowingly adopted one was odd. Maybe he was just delusional or pulling your leg. 

  "How do I know you're telling the truth? Maybe you could tell me something only we would know." Since your cat was here with you every day, he should know something too if he was being honest. 

  'Nicholas' tapped at his chin in thought before perking up. "Oh! I know! Your favorite bedtime toy is the long pink one! You always make a lot of noise and go to sleep smiling after playtime." 

   You're silent for a minute before a burning hot blush spreads across your entire body. How have you never realized your cat was in the room while you masturbated?! Probably because he never stirred or made noise. Plus he was a small walking void- hiding was his best trick. 

  "O-okay fine! I believe you're Nicho…and you're a hybrid so don't you live amongst humans?" 

  He shook his head. "Not really. I did as a kid but it was just easier to be a cat as I got older." So that could explain why he didn't know what a dildo was- 

  And now it seemed to be coming together- pushing aside the fact that this man was kind of freeloading- he was still your precious feline. You just had to help. 

  Remembering last night made his behavior make sense. His rut was making him so needy and desperate. And he must've turned human after hearing the idea of neutering. "So I guess… what you need help with is your rut?" 

  He nodded, his hips jerking a bit. From your research, you recalled it involved his need to mate. That was an easy fix! 

  Resting your hand on his cheek, he rested his cheek into your palm like he loved to do. The feeling warmed your heart. "Okay, I'll help you. You're my precious kitty right?" 

  A loud purr echoed in the room. Placing a soft kiss on his forehead, you told him to sit back against the headboard, tossing the pillow aside. 

  Now fully exposed, you could honestly admire his fit physique. From his face, broad shoulders, toned chest, and abs- and your eyes kept moving down to his thick and needy cock, even his balls were swollen and enlarged. His rut was in full swing.

  Clearly, you spent too long staring as he squirmed. His tail whipped around in need. "Master come on! You said you'd help!" His whiny tone and bratty demeanor made something inside you excited. 

  "I am helping kitty. But you should be nice to people who help you." Your hand grabbed the base of his cock, hard. Making him flinch but he still seemed grateful. Moaning at the warm contact as his hips moved slightly. 

  From a slight thrust back to the erratic jerking in frustration. This whole time, you hadn't moved your hand. Just held his cock as he fucked into it, still unable to get the pleasure he sought. 

   A string of whines and pleas left him as his lips trembled. His eyes were ready to spill fresh tears at his predicament. "Master! I can't do it, please help me, please, please it hurts!" 

  His cries didn't fall on deaf ears but it made you feel… good in a way. That's probably from the warm pooling from your core. But you shook the thought to focus. "Aww, you don't realize how cute you are Nicho. I'll help you. You always need Master to help you huh?" 

  He just nodded desperately and you placed a kiss on his burning tip. A squirm shook through him as his eyes closed. You did have to release him but pulled something out of your nightstand. Opening a package and flicking a switch before turning it off again quickly. 

  You spit into your hand and gripped his length once again. Stroking from base to tip slowly. Gliding your thumb over his slit and repeating the process numerous times and picking up speed. 

  As your hands worked, his whines of pain and pent-up need turned into pleasure. His head rested on the headboard as he took in the sweet sensation of your rhythm. 

   Once he seemed lost in the pleasure, you turned on the vibrator you had in your free hand. Placing it just below his length and resting on his balls. A yelp left his body at the new addition. 

  "What a pretty sound from a pretty kitty~" Your words made him purr. Well, a mix of a purr and a moan. And you loved it. Moving your hand faster and alternating the pressure of your grip. 

  Just like before, his hips started to move up to thrust into your hand. It was clear he was close, his face blushing, ears pulled back and a bit of precum already seeping out. 

  Keeping pace, you brought him closer and closer. A flurry of sounds left his needy body. Nicholas clearly didn't know how stunning he was here. How he would glow when he finally got to cum. Trembling, all the pretty sounds he would make, not to mention how much of a mess he would make. 

  So just as he was about to burst, you pulled back. Removing your hand and the vibrator and leaving him bare. Realizing he didn't get his relief was quite the sight. He pouted and wiggled around. 

   A lone tear streaked down his face. Fuck why was that beautiful? "Master? Why? I wanted to- I was so close!" 

  A sly smile grew on your lips as you kissed his tear, licking up and savoring the slightly salty flavor. "It's simple kitty, you didn't ask if you could cum." 

  "Ask to… cum?" His ears stood up curiously. "What is that? Please I want to know! I need to know!" 

  It was only fair you would teach him. By not explaining and edging him on three more times. Bringing him so close to orgasm before pulling away. 

  Leaving him breathless, tear-filled, and frustrated. Although you were satisfied with his vulnerable and desperate state, you also had a plan for this. 

  By this time, he had clearly learned what your point was as you stroked him in your hand once again. Adding your mouth to the mix. 

  Taking his whole cock into your mouth, you sucked him off like it was your last meal. Swirling your tongue around his length with every bob of the head. Your expert movement only makes his head start to spin. 

  His hands held you by your hair, thrusting his hips as hard as he could as he chased his orgasm. As if to trap you from denying him what he so desperately craved. 

  His voice wavered from low purring to high-pitched mewling and crying. His face was stained with tears as he sobbed. God this was so hot of him. Your lap kitty fucking your throat so eagerly. Although it was hard to breathe, spit covered your face and you even had tears of your own starting to run, you wouldn't change this. 

  You felt him twitch in your throat and knew he was close again. This time, he managed to make the magic words come out. "M-Master! Please… mm, please, wanna cum, wanna cum please!" 

  You couldn't say no after that, running your hand along his inner thigh you sped up the pace. Clenching your throat and mouth to give him that final push before pulling back, using your hand to continue to stroke him. 

  And in no time, he came. It was hard, it was messy, and damn did you love it. His back arched off the pillows they rested on as he let out a loud cry of pleasure. Words became incoherent and faded into moans and mewls, pleasure-filled whimpers as his body shook uncontrollably. 

  His hot white seed sprayed onto his stomach, chest, and legs. Not to mention your hands and some even landing on your thighs. He was so cute as he trembled, coming down from such an intense high. 

  You gladly stroked him through his orgasm, letting his body come down before removing your hand. His eyes fluttered open to see you take a lick of his cum off of your hand. Making him gasp. 

  If it wasn't his rut, he would be fine. But that already had him hardening again. How was he even withstanding this?! 

  Taking notice of his dick standing once again you giggled. "Already wanting more kitty? Gosh, aren't you just a slut."

  And even if he wanted to stop it, his head nodded obediently. Whatever his Master thought, clearly you knew what you were doing, even if he was frustrated at some points. 

   Holding your cum covered hand near his mouth, you smiled. "Go on kitty. Clean Master up from the mess you made." 

  Nicholas held your gaze before obeying. Taking your hand and starting to lick up his cum. Soft licks of his tongue worked to clean up his mess. It was precious and stirred something inside you. Unknown to you, as badly as you were teasing him it was only making you want him more. 

  Especially now as he licked and sucked on your fingers to clean you up. Once he was done, he looked at you with soft, pleasing eyes. The same type when he wanted treats or cuddles. The type that would make you bend over backward for him. 

  "Master, can I-..." Only his eyes shifted down your body and landed on your clothed cunt. You couldn't even be embarrassed by the wet stain you knew was there. 

  You gave him a nod and fumbled to remove your shirt. Exposing your chest to him. The room was already warm but your nipples were already hard. 

  Nicholas marveled at your chest, latching his lips onto your nipple without hesitation. A gasp left your lips and your back arched, pushing yourself closer to him. 

  Your hand ran through and tangled into his dark locks as his tongue swirled around and he nibbled on the hard nub. His free hand pinching and pulling at your other breast. Your moans made his ears wiggle in satisfaction. 

  Whether he was loving the praise or just following his gut, his hands moved down into your shorts as his lips moved up to your neck, biting down slightly to bruise the skin.

  His hand went into your underwear, one held onto your ass and the other snaked down and landed at your cunt. His fingers moved around curiously settling in your clit. Only clued in on it being a sweet spot by the shock that went through you. 

  Your mind quickly clouded as he worked your body so well. Probably more than he thought. "Master, do you like this? Am I doing good?" 

  Fuck. You let out a nod, feeling yourself melt into his touch. "Yes, yes keep going kitty." The tip of his tail wagged at the praise. 

   Nicholas kissed down your body reaching above your waistband. Teasing could wait- he practically tore your shorts apart along with your underwear at record speed. 

  His lips and tongue explored your folds with a curiosity and need to please. Tasting your juices and letting out a moan. This was better than anything he could've imagined. 

  Especially as sounds of pleasure kept coming out as his tongue moved around. Nicholas was honestly pretty clueless but after seeing you touch this spot so often, he knew it would make you feel good. 

  He especially focused his efforts on your clit before taking his finger and pushing it inside your soaking wet pussy. Pushing the digit in and out slowly elicits louder sounds of pleasure. 

  Your grip on his hair tightens as you grind your hips against his face. Covering from his nose to chin in your juices. He felt himself strain down below as well. Your sweet words, desperate actions, and lewd sounds egged him on. 

  "Ah, ah! Nicho, good kitty! Keep going!" He was going to listen, bring you to your peak but something made him stop. Just like how you denied him what he wanted so badly for a bit, he would do the same. 

  Sure it was petty. But the gasp of shock was worth it when he pulled away, halting your orgasm. Without a word, he sat next to you on the bed and placed a kiss on your cheek. "You didn't ask Master." 

  So that's how he wanted to play. Leaving you high and dry like that? "Since when did you get to do that? I thought I was the Master here."

  In a stereotypical cat way, he tilted his head and smiled. Almost like he could care less that you had asked him to do something. How could you let it slip from your mind that he was still a cat in some ways? 

  Almost in a snarky fashion, he laid back on the bed getting comfortable. A part of you wanted to snap but instead turned away. Did he really think he had the last laugh? You would just give it time and he would be crawling back to you. 

  Keeping the thought to yourself, you pet his hair and picked up your discarded clothes. Ruffling up his hair before heading to the bathroom. Let's see how long he lasts… 

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  You really debated going to work today. A part of you wanted to stay and watch as Nicho spiraled. The symptoms of his rut getting worse and worse until he was crying and groveling at your feet, begging for your help. 

  It would be amazing to see his eyes run with tears and his ears flattened as he rutted his hips pathetically against you, desperate to reach his orgasm. Maybe he would learn this lesson and not play with you when you were so close to completion. 

   You even decided to treat yourself (well you both but he didn't know), and got some food before heading home. A nice treat after the past 24 hours. And you purposely delayed getting home that night.

  The whiplash should've been more jarring for your scenario but it was just one of those silly little loopholes life throws at ya. One minute you have a cat, the next it's a sexy cat hybrid man… oh well!

  As you arrived home, you could already hear that familiar yowling sound from last night. And it brought a smile to your face. Good, hopefully, he was ready to submit like the good kitty he was. 

  Much to your surprise, you could hear him but not see him. Setting the food down in the kitchen, you followed the sound of his whining once again. 

  Ending up at your room, the sounds were the loudest. Along with a shuffling and the rustling of sheets. Without much fanfare, you pushed the door opened and were a bit shocked. 

  The little clothes you let Nicholas borrow earlier had been discarded, the room was stuffy and your box of toys had been opened. A low buzzing sound was heard and a bright pink piece was sticking out of him.  

  Well, you didn't expect him to have been so desperate to dig into your toys but it amazes you. Especially as you realized there were no stains showing his climax around. 

   You let out a chuckle as you approached him, sitting next to the needy cat hybrid. Only now did he realize you had arrived. He nuzzled his tear-stained face against your arm and dropped the vibrator in his hand. 

  "Master! You're back, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please help me!" 

  Resting your fingers under his chin, you made him look up at you. A triumphant smile gleamed across your features. "My, my what's this? Naughty kitty went into my stuff because you were so needy." 

  Whatever his rut was doing to him, made him react exactly how you wanted. His head nodded desperately with flattened ears. "Hmm, m'sorry- it hurts." 

  "Don't worry, I'll help you sweetheart, but you'll be good, right?" 

  "Promise! Promise I'll be good- wanna feel good again, please Master." Darnit, you can't say no to how precious he was being. 

  "Good, now lay back for me." Without hesitation, he detached himself from you and returned to his original position. Lying out on his back, hardened cock on full display. Oh, and your dildo still in him. 

  Deciding to remove your work clothes, you set them aside before sitting in between his open legs, noting his tail swaying in anticipation. 

  Fingers encircled his stretched hole before pulling the dildo out slightly and pushing it back in. A little groan fell from his lips as he shuttered. It moved in and out with ease, fueling your curiosity. 

  "Oh kitty, did you prep yourself? How would you even know how to use this?" Nicholas nodded slowly as you continued to pump the tool in him at a slow and consistent pace. 

  "Y-yes. Learned from you Master-" His voice melted into a purr as he spoke, enjoying the sensation more than he thought. 

  Ah. Right, he did watch me use these before- 

  Okay so at least you knew he was being safe… and learned it from you. And thankfully he didn't try sticking it in the other hole- That was another bridge you could cross when you got there. 

  As you continued to pleasure him, you couldn't help but play with his dick. It was obviously begging for some attention. If anything, it looked larger and swollen like he had used a cock ring. But no, it was just his rut fueling him. 

  A part of you wanted to tease him and make this last long and the other, just wanted you both messy and tired as soon as possible. 

  You went with the latter, taking as much of him into your mouth as you could manage. Pushing further and further until he was all the way in your throat. Starting to move and keep a quick pace.

  His pleasurable cries didn't go unheard as you sped up, both your mouth and the toy inside of him. Alternating speeds to mess with him a little bit but remained consistent for the most part. 

  You didn't even bother making him ask this time, just letting him explode in your mouth. Most of his cum shot into your throat and flowed out from your mouth. Landing on his hips and onto your sheets. 

   "Wow, looks like you really did need me to help you feel good kitty. Really pathetic isn't it?" 

  He whimpered but nodded. "Yes, I need Master to help me. Make me feel good." Your hand ran through his hair as he spoke, almost like petting him. 

   " We're gonna try something new, are you ready to go ahead?" There wasn't much thought before he agreed. "Please Master." 

  Pulling the dildo out, he whined and rolled his hips wanting the contact to return. You set it aside on the nightstand. And kissed his neck to console his complaint.

  Taking off your underwear and tossing it aside, you crawled into his lap, bare cunt grinding his shaft. The feeling made him forget all about the toy already. Warm juices mixed with leftover cum as you smeared it around with your heat. 

  Your fingers were already playing with your clit as the other ran into his hair, pulling you both together in a heated kiss. Only now did you realize this is the first time you've kissed. 

  His lips were sweet but you couldn't really savor the moment. The kiss instantly escalated into a feverish makeout. And he was honestly better at reading these signs than you thought. 

  But even that couldn't last long as his hips bucked, craving your touch or embrace. And honestly, with how wet you were as well, he wouldn't need to wait long. 

  Taking his cock into your hand again, you pumped it a few times before detaching your lips. "Are you ready to feel good kitty?" He tried to say words but it came out more as a mix of a meow and moan. 

   You placed another, much slower kiss on his lips this time. "Use your words kitty~." He instantly burst into a string of 'yes' and nodded. 

  Wasting not another moment, you lifted your hips, lining him up with your entrance, and sank onto him. 

  You nearly cursed as he stretched your hole, moaning as your warmth enveloped him. His hands shot to your hips to hold you still. Even with the use of your toys, you've never felt something like this. 

  After catching your breath, you sank lower and lower until he was completely inside you. Filling you whole and even making a little part of your tummy bulge out. 

  Fuck, fuck, fuck!  

  His hips rolled as he sighed and squirmed, pushing himself in slightly deeper. You had to bite your tongue to not cry out so loudly. 

  In contrast, Nicholas was loud and holding nothing back. Moaning, whining and just anything fell from his mouth as his eyes shut tightly. 

  You kissed him again, swallowing up his sounds as you started to move your hips. Shaking from the sensation but starting to get comfortable. Finding a rhythm that left you both breathless. 

  His fingers dug into your hips as he drank this in. He felt incredible and only wanted more. 

  From just holding you steady, his hands wandered down to your ass and squeezed. Giving him more leverage as he started to thrust into you. His lips once again finding your nipples and sucking away at them. 

  So here you were, ready to make him quiver and melt at your actions, only to be the one pressing into him further as you grew closer to the edge. 

  And you could tell he felt it too. His face was buried in your bouncing chest as he breathed heavily into the soft flesh. Your legs wrapped around his hips, giving him more room to dig in deeper. 

  Your pussy soaked and coating him and the bed in your arousal. Hands playing with his soft ears as he started to stutter. 

  "M-Master, please I need-" 

  He couldn't even finish before you nodded. "Yes Nicho!-" You were sure there were more words on your mind but they disappeared. 

  Your orgasm snuck up on you as you shook on his cock. Holding on tightly as your lips parted in a moan. Not long after, you were filled with his hot seed in your cunt. 

  Heavy breathing filled the air mixed with pleasured incoherent words. Your mind and body were reeling and just when you thought you would be preparing to rest, Nicholas pulled out rather quickly. 

  Grabbing you by the hips and flipping your position so he was on top. Putting your legs over his shoulders as he kissed you deeply. 

  His tongue searched your mouth as he grinded against you. Brushing against your sensitive cunt with his still-hard cock before entering you in a quick motion. 

  The new position opened up new pleasure for you both. In no time, he was jerking his hips and building your orgasm again. The sound of slapping skin and overflowing juices only drove him further. 

  Your hands ran down his back, trying to get a good grip on him. He didn't stop his desperate moves. It didn't matter though, you already felt yourself getting tipsy for his cock only wanting more. 

  You've only heard of being cock drunk but now you get it. He was buried deep in your pussy, bulging out your tummy with every strong stroke and teasing every corner inside. You were lucky he didn't know dirty talk or else you'd be done for. 

  But he was still making your head and body spin, begging for him regardless. Now you found your hips being the ones jerking up to chase his cock. 

  You could only moan and try to ground yourself to hold out from orgasming too soon. But a well-placed kiss on your neck and squeeze of your boob and you came undone once again. 

  Nicholas pulled out, continuing to work at his cock before he came on your pussy, decorating your entrance in the white substance. 

 It was a beautiful sight for sure. One he couldn't resist. Spreading your legs and licking away. Pushing his tongue inside and tasting the inside of your fucked cunt. 

  A long moan left your lips as he continued to eat you out. This was so surprising. His actions show experience but his words don't. It was like his instinct took over and he just wanted to feel damn good. 

  And you were enjoying it too. Especially as he removed his lips and flipped you over so you laid on your stomach, pulling your hips up a bit before burying his cock inside once again. 

  Was he really not tired?! But you also get it- your body just wanted more of him even as your cunt ached. The ache faded once you were filled once again. His large hands dug into your hips as he started to move again.

  He tried to start off slow but it was quickly abandoned. His grunts and moans mixed with yours. And it was only now did you realize you had begun to cry. Your body was overwhelmed by the pleasure he gave you tears started to flow. 

  Just like you had done before, he kissed your tears, licking them up softly. A world of difference to his merciless thrusting. 

  "Does Master feel good?" 

  It took everything in you not to just utter swears or moans. "Very good kitty, so so good!" 

  You could almost hear him perk up in excitement. His chest pressed against your back as he kept thrusting. His arms wrapped around your body and held on tightly. 

  He started to nip and suck on your neck as a light whimper left him. "Hmm, Master… wanna breed you. Fill you up with my cum. Please Master please-" 

  He was pleading once again, and it only made you feel more inclined to agree. Not like you didn't already love this feeling of being full or possibly bred as his cum was inside your pussy already, constantly being fucked deeper inside you. 

  But something about him asking permission so sweetly this time stirred you to lose yourself deeper in the pleasure. "Yes kitty, please bred your Master~" 

  He didn't need the extra encouragement to make you feel more fucked out but with his thrusts getting stronger, he ended up pressing your whole body deep into the sheets. Chasing his high with an animalistic level of fever. 

  Any movement you tried to make was halted by his grip. But it didn't matter for long as the building tension in your stomach finally exploded. Your mind bursts with an ecstasy you've never felt before. 

  His teeth sinking into your sweet spot barely registered as his cock twitched while he pounded your quaking body. Filling you up once again with his cum. There was so much it began to leak out, but his hips still moved to push it back in. 

 Slowing down into sweet long strokes as you both came down from such intense highs. Nicholas kissed along your shoulders and the now fresh mark on your neck. His hips halted with him still buried deep but no longer moving. 

  You didn't mind though, after that experience, you didn't want him out of you for a while. Even if that large amount of mixed fluids now covered your sheets, you didn't want to move. 

  "Master is mine now. And mine alone." He purred and rubbed his face against yours as reality was still starting to clear up. You could only reach back and pet his hair in response.

   "I'm yours, and you're mine now kitty." Although you weren't 100% sure what that meant, it was sweet and felt real so you'd agree. 

  That's how the night faded off. The two of you joined together in an exhausted but satisfied state.  And the food on the table- cold and long forgotten.