#Carlisle bay

[nakeddeparture]

Bay Street, Barbados. Carlisle Bay Beach Club. Video blog on land grab and local/foreign competition.

https://youtu.be/6Dt14l5Pkts

Last installment. Discussion coming to dissect all the videos posted. Naked!!

Like. Share. Subscribe

[liteandglokayaks]

Daytime Clear Kayak Rental Carlisle Bay Barbados

Visit Lite and Glo Kayaks for Daytime Clear Kayak Rental In Carlisle Bay Barbados. Each kayak is equipped with lifejackets, paddles, safety kit, Bluetooth speaker, dry bag water. After your tour, you will receive a drink voucher for the Bajan Pirate.

​

For details, visit the website.

https://www.liteandglokayaks.com/service-page/1-hour-daytime-2-person-kayak-rental

[andreafmn]

Hello I see your taking request again ! I’m so happy It’s been sooo long hope your doing well !?!

Can you write a reader x jasper

Reader is a vampire she has been with the cullens for ever like before Alice and jasper got there !

She’s as cool as a cucumber like no one has ever seen her mad

Well once edwards started seeing Bella and being a diva he makes a comment about jasper and reader loses it like full on throws him through a wall lol

Everyone is super shocked because they’ve never seen her like that and emmitts booming voice in the back round saying well never talk shit about jasper in front of reader again

everyone nods in agreement and jasper just looks at reader and says I love when your defending me love but let’s not put anymore people through a wall and everyone laughs

Word Count: 3K

Story Description: (Y/N) Cullen might be even-tempered and calm by nature. But when it came to her partner, no one gets by unscathed. Not even her own family.

A/N: I know I took forever to post this request, but I always take forever for everything 😅 though I hope you enjoy and that I did your request honor, anon. My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts to support me and my love of writing🥺👉👈. Hope you enjoy, and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

TikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST

If you’d like to be tagged in any story or make a request: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post! Tagging apparently has reached its limits for Twilight stories. It won't allow me to post with the list I have right now, so turning on notifications will allow you to know whenever I post anything new.

Karmic Retribution

There were certain unspoken rules to being a Cullen.

One of the worst ones, the oldest made all the decisions. This meant that, more often than not, Carlisle and Edward were the ones to determine the outcome for the family. And to that point, it had been fine. There was never anything truly holding them down to any place in particular, and they could travel any time they wanted.

(Y/N) was fine with that to an extent. She was on the same level as Edward in terms of age, and sometimes she felt she should have more leverage in family decisions than she had. But she had always been quiet, keeping her anger always at bay. And it helped that she had Jasper by her side.

Their connection was almost instantaneous.

When the messy bundle of blond curls walked into their home in Calgary, she knew he’d turn her whole life around. They grew close quickly. Spending almost every moment by each other’s side. (Y/N) could not remember her life before she met Jasper Whitlock. As time passed, the memory of her time without him seemed more and more like a dream rather than her past. To her, he had been there forever.

Though she did not have any special abilities, everything about her was extraordinary to Jasper. She became his lifeline, the only thing to keep him afloat when he felt like drowning. Because most days he felt his head was always just barely above water. Treading on the line between fighting his animalistic instincts and his new family’s peculiar lifestyle.

(Y/N) could do to him what he was able to do for everyone else. She could read his emotions before he had a chance to name them, and she somehow found a way to make him calm and tranquil. She was everything he did not know he needed.

He had been afraid to tell her of his past. How he’d fought for the confederacy and had built and led an army of newborns in the south. He was ashamed of the lives he had taken, the people he had turned and promised eternity to in exchange for their loyalty, only to dispose of them one year later. All for what he thought was love. Jasper was frightened that the second he confessed to the sins of his past, (Y/N) would forsake him and push him aside.

Instead, he was met with a wave of compassion that washed over him. As his eyes stung from dry tears, (Y/N) provided him with a smile that he was sure could warm his frozen body. She placed a comforting hand on his cheek and gave his lips a soft kiss.

“Our pasts do not define the people we are today,” she had told him, nothing but love in her eyes. “The reason we are who we are now is because we have moved forward from what we did yesterday. You don’t need my forgiveness, my love. For the man I know now will never be the same as the man that was. What you need is to forgive yourself.”

At that moment, Jasper knew that his search was finally over. Though he still struggled with his hunger and considered himself a dangerous man, he’d found the person that could love him completely. A woman that had taken one look at the scars of his past — literally and figuratively — and, instead of recoiling in fear and disgust, had placed a kiss upon them and filled them with love and compassion.

“Do you know how lucky I am, darling?” Jasper had told her one day as they lay in a clearing somewhere in the snowy surroundings of Alaska.

“Is that so?” (Y/N) chuckled. Her fingers traced the stitching of the vest he wore, her head pressed against his chest wondering what his heartbeat could have sounded like. “I’d like to think I’m the one that is lucky. How many years did I spend on my own, waiting on my forever? Then you show up, with Alice in tow, and you change our family for the better. And now, I have someone to walk through life until the end of time.”

“Life is funny that way, huh,” he smiled. “And that is precisely what I wanted to speak to you about. I know our journey is seemingly endless and certain mundane things don’t particularly mean as much as eternity. But there is something that I want more than anything — mostly as a symbol of how much I love you. Because in this life and the next I want nothing more than to spend it by your side. So I ask you, (Y/N), would you do me the absolute honor of allowing me to be your husband?”

“For as long as love lives between us, yes. A thousand times yes.”

A wedding was such a monumental event for humans. For beings that stood the trials of time, it was a symbol of commitment. A way to bind their lives with something other than words. A simple promise made in the presence of the people they valued above everything else. That they were making the choice to intertwine their lives in all ways, regardless of any circumstances.

The event had been small, much to Alice’s dismay. The pair simply wanted their family and a few friends in attendance. Their love needed no impressive show, it simply was, and that’s how they wanted it.

In the family, they kept their heads low and out of the way. It was futile to insist on having more of a voice when it came to the decisions of the family. To that point, they had no quarrels with the choices the patriarch had determined for the clan.

Keeping to themselves allowed (Y/N) and Jasper to form a bond like no other. They didn’t need Edward’s mind reading to be able to hear the other’s thoughts; didn’t need Alice’s foretelling to know their life would be live and full of life. The couple had created the perfect balance between themselves and orbited around the family. Still, it was them against the world.

Jasper being the youngest — at least considered that way for being the last to join the family — was often the target for many quips in the family. From his stoic stare to his short fuse when it came to human blood, the blond would often be the butt of the joke. And it never seemed to anger him. He’d chuckle from time to time or roll his eyes at any lines that went just a little too far. But he never defended himself or asked them to stop.

His efforts were centered on keeping (Y/N)’s anger toward the family at bay. Though she was calm by nature, she despised the way their adoptive brothers picked Jasper apart. How they would jokingly criticize something the man could not control. It was often a topic of discussion when the pair enjoyed a rare moment of privacy.

“I’m going to squash them,” she huffed. “Are they not tired of the same jokes? Is there even an original thought in their heads?”

“There’s no need to worry your pretty little head over them, darling,” Jasper chuckled, placing a comforting kiss on her head. “I’m used to it by now.”

“But you shouldn’t be! Every day you work your hardest to control yourself around humans and I know how painful it can be for you. Then Tangina and Schwarzenegger come in and tell the same stupid jokes over and over again,” she exclaimed. (Y/N)’s arms flew up in frustration earning a chuckle from the man as he stared at her from where he lay. “It’s not funny, Jasper. One of these days I’m gonna blow and you’re not gonna be able to calm me down.”

“As much as I would love to see you say your piece to Edward and Emmett, I assure you I do not mind.” He took her hands in his, kissing the knuckles gingerly. “Their words do not affect me, darling. The only person whose approval I care for is yours.”

“And that you will have until the end of time.”

And that was the case for the next couple of years. Whenever they’d reach a new town the other two Cullen teens would joke about how Jasper could snap at any moment, and he’d wreak havoc in the city. They would say pick on him and laugh at him. The worst part, he simply took it, much to (Y/N)’s dismay.

She would grow angry, he would temper her emotions, she would complain about their brothers’ treatment behind their backs, and he would say it was fine. But it shouldn’t have been fine. He should never have gotten used to the unnecessary mean jokes from the older boys.

When they settled in Forks, (Y/N) already knew the cycle. New town, same jokes. The only difference this time, Edward grew obsessed with a particular human.

The day he’d come home from school muttering how he needed to leave for some time and hole himself up in Alaska, (Y/N) couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. There was Mr. Jasper-can’t-control-himself at the end of a downpour of blood frenzy. Everything he had jabbed at her partner with had come back to bite him.

She had laughed with Jasper that night, the jokes laced with actual worry that Edward would be the one to snap and attack a human. But the karmic retaliation had been far too exquisite for her to remain concerned. Revenge was always a very tasty treat.

But her small victory had not lasted long.

Only a week later, Edward had come back home with a recharged confidence. His woes about hurting Isabella Swan had died in a matter of seven days and he was ready to throw a hundred and ten percent toward forming a connection with the frail human.

And with Edward’s presence coming back, so did the overused jokes.

It had been a sunny afternoon in Washington and all the Cullens were stuck inside the house. Most of the morning had been uneventful, each of the family members reclused in their own rooms. The house was quiet and tranquil, peaceful. But that never lasted long. Especially when they were all home.

“So, Edward, this Bella chick is kind of… different, huh?” Emmett commented, his typical goofy grin spreading across his face. “But don’t you think it’s kinda dumb to get involved with a human?”

“Yeah, it might be,” he chuckled. “But it would be dumb of me to not even try. There’s just something about her that’s… intoxicating.”

“Yeah, it’s called human blood,” Rosalie spat. “Because she’s a human, Edward. The worst thing you could do is get involved with her. It could put her in danger. It can put all of us in danger.”

“There’s nothing wrong with testing the waters though,” he debated. “There’s truly something about her that calls to me. I need to see what it is.”

Anger had started sprouting inside (Y/N) as she listened to her family discuss the sudden apparition of Bella in their lives thanks to their adoptive brother. The cold that ran through her veins suddenly started growing warm, consuming her from the inside out. Not even the hand that Jasper had placed lovingly on the low of her back was enough to dissuade the ire that was taking over her.

“We’ve pretended to be humans for decades; I think I can do it for a couple of months with Bella. I just… I need to get to know her,” Edward continued. “I need to at least try.”

“And what will you do when she starts asking questions?” (Y/N) interjected. “How will you explain the cold skin? The fact that you don’t eat? The fact that you turn into a disco ball under the sun? How will you refrain from telling her you are a vampire?”

“I simply won’t tell her, (Y/N),” he chuckled. “It’s not that hard to not mention the fact that my family and I are a bunch of supernatural vampires.”

“You can’t even read her mind, Ed. How will you know she’s not coming up with conclusions on her own?”

“God, we can sit here a debate all night long on why it’s a bad idea for me to get in any way, shape, or form to get involved with Bella,” he retorted. “But it’s not really a family decision. I’m gonna see where things go with her, regardless of what any of you think.”

“So, you’re willing to put our family – our whole species – in danger, for a seventeen-year-old you met a couple of weeks ago?” (Y/N) questioned. Jasper was failing to calm her down. He could feel the angry red monster taking over her mind as she debated with Edward. Her emotions were taking over her reason and he could do nothing to help her. “I can’t believe you could be that reckless and selfish. Our entire existence depends on us being careful and guarding our secrets with our lives, especially in this town. If the Volturi don’t get you, I’m sure the wolves would be more than ready to put you in your place for breaking the treaty.”

“Oh, come on, (Y/N),” he laughed dryly. Everyone could tell he wasn’t taking the dangers seriously, he was not taking her seriously. To the older boy, it was merely a conversation. “If there’s anyone we should worry about recklessly exposing our secret is mister short fuse over there.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“That it only takes something as little as a prick on a finger and fidgety Jasper will be pouncing on a human. The safest way for any of us to keep the secret is for you to keep a short leash on your husband.”

Edward had once vowed to not use his ability on his family unless absolutely necessary, and he had always kept that promise. That afternoon, he regretted it.

As everyone laughed at his taunting joke, (Y/N)’s emotions reached their peak. Her eyes had grown darker, and her hands had balled into fists. She couldn’t resist the wrath that had taken over her. All she could see was red.

One second, the family was enjoying the gag against the Cullen. The next, (Y/N) had pushed Edward hard enough to go through a wall in their picturesque living room. Dust filled the area, fragments of the wall thudding against the wall, falling around the boy. A mix of glass, wood, and gypsum board had scattered around Edward’s body, his body coated in a fine layer of dust.

The same expression of shock washed over each of the family members, astonished at the sight in front of them. Calm-mannered and good-natured (Y/N) had finally reached her boiling point. For centuries, she had always been able to keep herself emotionally balanced, even without Jasper. None of them thought there would come a day when they would see her temperament break.

Her chest was heaving, her nostrils flared, and her hands still stretched in front of her. She wasn’t breathing, instead, she was letting out every ounce of fury that still burned inside her. In a split second, she regained her composure. (Y/N) smoothed down her clothes and her usual smile spread across her face.

Silence spread across the room, the kind that was enough to deafen ear drums. It was tense and uncomfortable, filled with a type of discord they had never witnessed between them before.

“I think we can all agree that all jokes about Jasper’s, uh, condition shall only be done in private or inside our heads,” Emmett’s voice sliced through the silence, his voice booming and reverberating against the walls. “That was… unexpected.”

“But we can all say it’s a long time coming,” Jasper grinned, turning his attention to the woman he proudly called his wife. “And, darling, as much as I love that you’re defending me, I think it’s best we don’t put more people through walls. Alright, love?”

“I guess that’s doable,” she smiled.

The rest of the siblings broke into laughter. All but Edward that wore a scowl on his face as he wiped away the white dust from his face. (Y/N) couldn’t help the pride that swelled in her chest. After years of biting her tongue and holding back her feelings, it felt exceptional to finally shut Edward up.

“Well, Edward, it seems you and Emmett will have to set aside some time to fix that wall,” Carlisle grinned. “Can’t have your new girlfriend coming over and seeing a person-shaped hole in our new living room.”

“Why do I have to do it? (Y/N)’s the one that pushed me!”

“Let’s call it your apology for taunting Jasper for the past few decades,” Esme responded before joining her retreating husband. “Now get to it, boys.”

“How is that fair?”

“What can I say, Eddie boy?” (Y/N) grinned. “Karma’s a bitch.”

Jasper and (Y/N) promptly sped outside, needing a moment to themselves after the chaotic scene that unfolded. When they reached the clearing they often sneaked out to, the blond wrapped his wife in his arms and placed a passionate kiss on her lips.

“I can’t thank you enough for defending my honor,” he smiled, resting his forehead against hers. “Though I can’t say Edward didn’t deserve it, maybe next time we can try to use our words rather than our hands.”

“I’m offended, Major. It was a calculated reaction after years of bullying.”

“(Y/N),” he lovingly reprimanded. “You know better than that.”

“Alright, love. I promise I won’t throw Edward into a wall ever again,” she smiled, pecking his lips. “But I can’t promise I won’t find other ways to get even.”

“I would never expect less.”

At that moment, everything was perfect. Nothing and no one could ever have predicted that in less than a year Bella Swan would infiltrate their family, that all the quips against Jasper would accidentally turn into reality, and that life as the Cullens knew it would drastically be altered.

Taglist: @agent-anna @banterbanner @alitav99 @daniallh @catchmeupimgettingoutofhere @imaginetwilight2704 @mauvette268 @beefwhobarksandisalilmadalot @abelbai000 @ridiculous-creature​ @mikariell95 @gryffi-ndor @jules-bea2308 @comic-book-overload @winter-soldier-101 @jessicasunderground @mxyee @hey-you-therexo @witchy-obeyme-freak @xcastawayherosx @kortniec696 @slutforsainz @Blackbluerose666 @DyslexicCatterpillar @sunflowerleii @gypsymusiclover @byelannie @a-sifu-hotman @zheezs14 @minhaimaginacao @bluebirbnamedJay @sirenheadenby @mushroomelephant @swidkid @skyesthebomb @user0ur0mom @nogitsune-the

@cometstail @volturiwolf @locokoca @esposadomd @this-is-a-bad-idea @nocturnalherb16 @rosalie-whitlock @nyctophilia710 @blueshoelaces @ems-alexandra @then-worship-at-my-altar @six-call @witchofhawkins @lovel-blog @sugajar @goodpeoplegotohellanyway @yuki254 @avis15 @honeylovemoon @wonieeee @baebeepeach @catgirlpwr @krazyk99 @klf1999 @sl-ut @adaydreamaway08 @cinffy23 @toomanythoughts33 @sugasthreedollarkookie @laylaskywalker @fandomonetwo @fruitylilfuck @a-slut-for-Loki-Bucky @honeywxter @haroldpotterson @revnamjinn @justamessandahalf @come-on-darling-honey @dove-chan32931

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Consider this a part 2 of Can't Escape the Nightmares cuz I keep getting ideas for this story 🙃

Pairing(s): Jasper Hale x Human!Reader, platonic!Rosalie Hale x Human!Reader

Warnings: mentions of past assault, mentions of past rape, noncon themes discussed, reader is jasper's mate, platonic!rosaliexreader, human!reader, nightmares, trauma, ptsd, dark content, mention of blood, brief mention of murder/death, hurt&comfort, ft the cullen fam, yes i'd like to sign up to be protected by rosalie ✋🏼, and my depressive ass could certainly use a man like jasper lol

Words: 1253

Summary: It was hard for you to be outside. Not after what happened. And with the Cullen house surrounded by a sea of towering trees. . . It was difficult for you to even step onto the wrap around porch. Everything about the outside reminded you of that day in the woods.

They'd smelled your blood from miles away, noticing that it grew closer and closer until Rosalie was upon the doorstep with you dangling in her arms. Your eyes were open, though void of expression; merely staring at these near angelic looking family with gold hued eyes.

Your injuries were nothing major, yet your blood yanked at their olfactory senses.

And Jasper was helpless when, eyes being engulfed by jet black.

The expression in Rosalie's expression though kept him at bay.

"Get him out of here. He can't handle it." Rosalie snaps, her hold on you growing tighter.

Intently watching Jasper's every move, you see the rigidity of his frame and the back and forth sawing motion of his jaw. He must have ground his teeth to oblivion, at least that's what you thought.

Never imagining the true inner turmoil that was engulfing his every sensibility. Jasper's perpetually cold skin suddenly felt like it was on fire. A monster scratched at his mental door. A monster that wanted to taste every inch of your skin before sinking his straight, razor teeth into your delicate paper-like flesh.

"Jazz, snap out of it." Edward motions for Emmett to keep him back. His hiss is low as not to scare you further. Knowing all the horrors you had just gone through

The fog that reduced his head to a warm flush lifts enough for him to finally notice the state you were in.

Large splotches of red and rich purple are smattered across the entirety of your arms and legs, with a giant one blooming on your jaw. His stomach recoils at your lack of clothes. Connecting the visual clues together to realize what had happened and why Rosalie was dyed in a mess of different blood types that didn't belong to you.

You were already broken.

Suddenly that monster was silent, it too watching with baited breath as Rosalie carries you up the staircase and to Carlisle's office. The older blonde vampire quick and on her heels.

Jasper's monster seemed to take that moment to decide something that was against its very nature: it would protect you, guard you and keep you.

There will always be that hunger in him for your blood. But no longer would he be ruled by it.

When exhaustion finally swept over you, Jasper peeks his head into Carlisle's office. Rosalie sat on the floor in front of the couch you were asleep on.

She's in front of him in a flash, barring him entrance with a fatal snarl.

He dare not mess with this gold mama bear.

It was hard for you to be outside. Not after what happened. And with the Cullen house surrounded by a sea of towering trees. . . It was difficult for you to even step onto the wrap around porch. Everything about the outside reminded you of-

"They can't hurt you again." Edward mentions behind you as you stood in the front door, hand quaking above the doorknob.

That didn't relive the nausea in your stomach. Your eyes shut tight and Edward winces when your mind immediately goes to the day that you were assaulted.

When you catch yourself you immediately apologize and take a step back. "S-sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, don't apologize." He's firm on this and finally you turn around. Surprisingly, the Cullens had understood the trauma you had gone through more than you would have thought. Every one of them had gone through a horrifying event much like your own. Rosalie's was almost identical to your's and possibly the very reason why she had saved you and killed those monsters who abducted you. And has protected you since then. She reminded you of a mother hen.

When Jasper first showed interest in you, Rosalie actually became aggressive toward him; telling him that you weren't ready for such a relationship. That you needed to heal more.

Jasper never stepped over any boundaries. He never came close to it. He waited. Helped you whenever you asked for it. Approached you tentatively until you told him that he didn't have to tiptoe around you. Many months were required before this. In the meantime you allowed Rosalie (and to a smaller extent, Alice and Esme) to tend to you and repair your fragmented body.

The only time he used his power on you without your permission was when you were asleep and suffering from your all too frequent nightmares.

"If you want, I can go outside with you. Maybe we can take a short walk around the house." He softly offers when you glance back at the door.

They were all so kind to you, never asking when you'd be ready to leave their house. It never came up. In fact you had the suspicion that Rosalie would insist on you living with them from now on. An unofficial part of the Cullen family.

You knew their secret. Living there, it didn't take long to discover that they were not human. From their perfect pale skin, to their golden eyes, there was something different about them. The way Edward was able to anticipate your every needs or how even being in the same room with Jasper had your anxiety simmering down. Even Alice displayed odd signs that you would have normally passed off as some kind of mental illness when she'd stare off into the distance. You now knew it was her getting a glimpse of the future.

"Thank you, but maybe today isn't the day. . ." You force your trembling lips to quirk up into a tentative smile though it could not fool Edward who could hear the inner turmoil in your mind. He never pushed.

He nods and lets you amble back upstairs to safety. The Cullens required no sleep so their bedrooms were essentially just for decoration. Rosalie and Emmett happily gave up their room so that you could seek out privacy when you were too overstimulated to be in their company. They even bought a tv just to put in the room for you. You didn't know what you did in your life to deserve them.

But before you go to your own designated room, you stop in front of Jasper's with a tentative hand raised to knock on his door. You were always nervous when asking him to hang out with you while Rosalie was gone. You'd heard Rosalie whisper to Emmett one night about you being Jasper's 'mate'. She must have thought you were fast asleep but you heard them discuss the possibility of a relationship between you and the other blonde Hale.

It made you self conscious now when you were near him. You'd known that he was. . . attracted to you.

You jump when his bedroom door opens to reveal his figure. "H-Hi."

His smile is always so sweet and even shy. "Hello."

"Um," Your fingers twist the hem of your shirt anxiously. " well, Rosalie is gone. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out for a little bit. . . Esme bought me a new dvd. We can watch it?"

Adoring the way his eyes crinkle when his smile broadens, you take a step back to allow Jasper to exit his room and close the door behind him. "Lead the way, ma'am." Your chest squeezes when that southern drawl of his comes out.

Trusting anyone again wasn't an easy journey. But being cradled by the Cullen family was bound to heal some wounds.

And perhaps water the seed of love that had been planted in your heart by Jasper.

[northameicanblog]

Port of Bridgetown, Barbados: The Port of Bridgetown, is a seaport in Bridgetown on the southwest coast of Barbados. Situated at the North-Western end of Carlisle Bay, the harbour handles all of the country's international bulk ship-based trade and commerce. Wikipedia

[generalmoonpolice]

Paul Lahote x reader (fluff/angst)

Just a random little idea that I had.

I hope you enjoy - if you have any feedback I would love to hear it!

W/C: 1262

I was beyond angry as I glanced at my boyfriend in front of me. Trying my hardest, I willed myself to calm down. Exploding with anger wasn’t going to help anyone. Deciding to be the bigger person I tried to back away from him, trying to keep my wolf at bay. I could only hope that Paul would do the same. As I took steps away from Paul he stepped closer to me, shaking in anger. I could feel the anger radiating off him. 

“You’re friends with the leech lover.” He growled at me. It came across as more of a statement rather than a question. I didn’t respond, knowing that it was best if we talked about it another time. When we weren’t so worked up.

“We can talk about this another time.” I hissed at him, gritting my teeth together. My response seemed to make him angrier.

Without warning he pushed me up against the wall.

I heard Jared and Leah yell at him, but he didn’t seem to pay attention to them. Without realising what I was doing, my hand moved up and slapped him across the face. The room went silent, the only sound was our heavy breathing as I took a step forward. Tilting my head up my eyes bore into Paul’s. His brown eyes were full of fury but one thing I didn’t expect to see was fear. My eyes widened as I realised what was about to happen before he exploded into his grey wolf, his claws digging into me making me fall back.

I didn’t feel the pain at first, though I heard a scream that sounded much like mine. The pain hit all at once and I saw the grey wolf above me before everything turned dark.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Pain was the only thing I felt. It radiated throughout my body and left a bitter taste in my mouth. I could hear breathing to my left and the continuous beeping of machines. My chest felt heavy as a groan escaped me. I tried to peel my eyes open to make sense of what was happening. When my eyes finally cooperated with me, a clean white ceiling was the first thing that I saw. 

A hospital.

Internally I knew where I was - the overly sterile smell, the incessant beeping of the heart monitor and the bright white walls only confirmed this. I just couldn’t piece together why. My eyes travelled further around the room where I was met with Emily sitting in the chair next to me looking at me anxiously with Sam standing behind her, the same look etched onto his face. When my eyes met Emily’s, she grabbed my left hand in hers. I looked at her hand in confusion when I saw the bandages on my chest. 

Suddenly everything came flooding back. Paul. The heaviness in my chest grew and I could feel my breathing pick up. Everything seemed too loud, too much. There seemed to be a ringing sound that reverberated across the room. Sam stepped forward seeing my panic and Emily’s hand tightened around my own. 

“Calm down. You’re okay. You’re safe. Paul is safe.” His words grounded me slightly, the ringing sound stopping as tears started to stream down my face. 

“Is he okay?” I asked. My throat ached as I said the words. Sam gave me a curt nod as the door opened. Half of me wished that it was Paul. The other half was too afraid for it to be Paul. I wasn’t afraid of him. I didn’t want him to be angry at me. 

However it wasn’t Paul that walked through the door, but Carlisle. His golden eyes met mine as his brow furrowed. 

“You healed rather quickly.” He muttered to himself.

“Wolf healing doc.” I attempted to joke. The sound of my own voice made me cringe as did the pain that came with the words. Carlisle gave me a small smile before his eyes flickered down to the board in his hands.

“He got you on your chest, neck and chin. You’re going to be on bedrest for at least 2 weeks - wolf or not. Definitely no exercise, no phasing and certainly no shouting.” My jaw clenched at his words, but I nodded nonetheless. Carlisle continued to tell me about an ointment I had to apply before he showed me how to re-bandage the wounds.

With a small “thank you” he left the room, leaving me with Sam and Emily once again. 

“Is he okay?” I asked the pair. Needing to know that he hadn’t and wasn’t doing anything stupid. Emily gave me a gentle smile. 

“He’s beating himself up, but he’s okay. You should get some sleep.” She said to me. I nodded and settled back into my bed before closing my eyes. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next time I woke up, Paul was in the chair next to my bed. His red-rimmed eyes met mine before more tears fell from his brown eyes.

I stretched out my hand towards Paul wanting him to grab it. When he did, I intertwined our fingers and took one of his larger hands in mine before tracing the lines on his palms smiling to myself. Even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel Paul’s eyes burning holes into me. After a few moments I finally looked at him. 

“I’m sorry.” I whispered to him, my voice raspy and soft. “I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I need you to promise me something.” 

I glanced up at him, peering through my lashes to see his gaze intensely on my face. His eyes left mine to trail along the scratches that now sat on my chin and neck before meeting mine again. He gave me a hesitant nod as if he was afraid of what I was about to say.

“If you ever feel like you need to cool off then you just go. Don’t even think about it. You don’t have to tell me why or for how long. Okay?”

Once again he said nothing and only nodded. I grinned at him before bringing his hand up to my lips to press kiss on his palm. At this, he practically flew out of his seat before he pressed a firm kiss to my head. I tried to look up at him, but he buried his face in my hair and broke down into sobs. The sound brought tears to my own eyes as I rubbed his arm trying to offer him some form of comfort. He pulled back from his embrace and our brown eyes met.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do it and you were telling me to go cool off and I just wouldn’t. When I saw you on the ground there was so much blood and all I could think about was how you were dead and it was all my fault.” He stopped. Taking in another breath he said, “And the last time we ever talked was a fight.” I squeezed his hand tighter as more tears dripped down his face.

“You could never kill me,” I told him sternly, shaking my head. “You wouldn’t ever go that far.” I looked into his brown eyes, my heart clenching painfully. I could practically feel the pain and regret seeping from him. 

Moving forward I pressed my lips to his softly, pulling back quickly. The corners of his lips twitched upwards and he connected our lips again. 

“I love you.” He whispered to me. I didn’t respond, but connected our lips once more. 

[abardnamedreginald]

im a wolf-demon-salamander-grey treefrog-katydid-cricket-luna moth-klingon-trad vampire-cat-romulan-harry potter wizard-gnome-drow-orc-wood elf-high elf-werewolf-twilight vampire-chihuahua-android-bard-druid-sorcerer-d&d wizard-lotr wizard-mind flayer-kraken-owlbear-genetically modified human-andes mint-harry potter merperson-h20 mermaid-great white shark-raven named nevermore-amontillado-sewer clown-animatronic-ink person-reality bender-ringwraith-chicken-fairy-telescreen-multibear-manic pixie dream girl-d class-horcrux-dragon-unicorn-pegasus-among us crewmate-among us imposter-game master-sharpie king size marker-dwarf-dragonborn-toothbrush-rock-paper-scissors-lizard-vulcan-politician-god-phone guy-icebreakers ice cubes pineapple-a doctor not a miracle worker-troll-ent-poodle-rabbit-Bear.-orange zombie-purple zombie-green zombie-professor plum-col. mustard-in the library-with a knife-hoola dancer-fish-villager-pelecan-defense against the dark arts professer-mafia boss-peep rabbit-peep chicken-gymnast-hairbrush-philosopher-music freak-school teacher-kidnapper-police lieutenant-farmer-trash can-dumpster out back-turtle-tribble-my little pony-kratt brother-high diver-pearl diver, dive, dive, deeper-chef-fire-earth-water-wind-wasp-bee-hornet-yellowjacket-mud dabber-grasshopper-rattlesnake-armadillo-cowboy-flashlight-starfleet science officer-harlet-elephant-gater-muppet-emo-goth-preppy-teabag-loser-sucker-mouse-rat-a puppet-a pauper-a pirate-a poet-a pawn-and a king-father albert-the pope-a nun-pastor jeff-gambler-metalhead-death rocker-the grim reaper-angel-lighthouse-paw patrol dog-hobbit-starfish-sponge-crab-squid-shrimp-jellyfish-chipmunk-hammerhead shark-nurse shark-humpback whale-blue whale-orca-sexual harrassment panda-south park character-jakoffasaurus-scrabble board-ouija board-pillow-toilet paper-period pad-tampon-baby diaper-elderly diaper-martian-touch tone telephone-starfleet operations-starfleet command-kirk-spock-bones-sulu-chekov-uhura-scotty-yeoman rand-KHAN!!!-mudd-the uss enterprise-the uss reliant-botany bay-v'ger-valeris-saavik-sybok-surak-sarek-the abbreviation 'idk'-sheldon-leonard-penny-howard-raj-amy-bernadette-mary cooper-george sr-george jr-missy cooper-meemaw-tam-dr sturgis-dr linkletter-dr jack bright-dr clef-dr gears-dr kondraki-dr mann-dr iceberg-dr crow-dr rights-dr sherman-scp 049-scp 3008-scp 4231-scp 166-scp 682-scp 2521-scp 590-O5 6-bill cipher-stanley pines-stanford pines-dipper-mabel-wendy-soos-schmebulok-gideon-mcgucket-dipper goes to taco bell-sheriff blubs-deputy durland-tad strange-andy taylor-william afton-michael afton-elizabeth afton-crying child-henry emily-charlotte emily-dave miller-jack kennedy-dee kennedy-peter kennedy-steven stevenson-aragorn-sam-frodo-merry-pippin-boromir-legolas-gimli-gandalf-faramir-denethor-sauron-elrond-thranduil-harry-hermione-ron-voldemort-pettigrew.-moony-padfoot-prongs-snape-edward-bella-alice!!-carlisle-charlie-cthulhu-greg heffley-pennywise-bendy-sammy-norman-jack-alice (susie)-allison-henry stien-joey drew-bruenor battlehammer-raskolnikov-heather-heather-heather-veronica-jd-kurt-ram-martha-kurt cobain-david bowie-freddie mercury-hozier-mitski-lemon demon-jack stauber-tally hall-hamilton-burr-jefferson-madison-washington-phillip-angelica-eliza-peggy-king george iii-king henry viii-ben franklin-catherine of aragon-anne boleyn-jane seymour-anne of cleves-katherine howard-catherine parr-dracula-𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂-evan hansen-conner murphey-john adams-raymond barron-fred randall-jane doe-ocean-noel-mischa-constance-ricky-karnak-vergil-alternate-thatcher davis-ruth-dave-cesar-mark-adam-sarah-jonah-evelyn-gabriel-trump-biden-sunny-basil-kel-aubrey-hero-mari-vanessa (the mean girl that kinda likes u)-tux the linux penguin-perry the platypus hybrid princess...dont fw me

[wexhappyxfew]

next time i wake

(a/n): because i am very much in 'loving rosie rosenthal hours' and judy rybinski of silver bullets is deserving of light and love and i just think the two would be a good fit for each other; whatever direction that leads them in. please enjoy!

Everything around her was warm, fuzzy and somewhat bright, but also peaceful and quiet and tranquil. It was a feeling she couldn't really remember feeling in quite some time.

She shifted around a bit, the blanket tucked up under her chin and the pillow under her head insanely fluffy, and there was a gentle whir of a fan somewhere above her.

Slowly she opened up her eyes and rolled onto her side, a small yawn sneaking out, a bit of pain somewhere in her leg, and then focused in front of her and was surprised to find none other than Captain Rosenthal there.

Judy's eyes slowly widened.

He wasn't looking at her at the minute; he was working his way through a book that she couldn't see the title of - bent over forward, staring down at the book propped between his fingers, a hand under his chin, deep in thought.

He couldn't have looked more glorious to her.

A stretch to even wonder what her current state was, how she had gotten here, and what was going on.

But, she was staring at Captain Rosenthal and for a moment, everything was okay.

"Sir?" she tested, her voice croaking and dry, her mouth tasting like saw dust. A crackling cough escaped her system and Captain Rosenthal looked up from his book and a soft smile grew on his face; he immediately went to grab for the water at her bedside and slid the chair closer forward.

"Hey," he said quietly, "how are you feeling?" She watched him and slowly nodded.

"Okay?" he asked her, "Let me help you sit up, get some water in you." She nodded again. He placed the water down and she let him take her hands and slowly sit her up.

"Here, you're good," he said, reaching over to adjust the pillow a bit more upwards behind her back, "there ya go, lean back a bit, there, good." Judy slowly, weakly if she could admit, let go of his hands and laid back against the pillow and then glanced towards the cup of water. She felt so weak it was honestly horrible. And in front of Captain Rosenthal.

"Want some water?" She nodded. He picked up the cup, and helped to adjust it in her hands - once she got some sips going, a few wet coughs to follow, she could get her voice going.

"Thank you, sir," she said looking up at him, and he smiled. There was something in his look that brought her comfort in a moment of time where she felt she had absolutely no idea what was going on. And he seemed to understand that right from her looking at him.

"Silver Bullets took a hit, at the ball turret," Captain Rosenthal said quietly, "they pulled you out, unconscious, got you to the ground. Lieutenant Montez made sure you got to a stretcher safely, got your leg fixed up and in bed. You've been out about a day." She blinked. She could hardly even remember that mission, getting in the ball turret - any of it.

"Where is she?" Judy asked quietly, "Lieutenant Montez?" Captain Rosenthal regarded her for a minute and glanced over his shoulder.

"She's not doing great," he told her, voice low, "I think Sergeant Harlowe convinced her to get some food, but she's been by your side a majority of the day and night - Lieutenant Carlisle and Lieutenant Achterberg, too." Judy stared at him.

"And you, sir?" He offered a quick smile.

"I've been here, too," he said, "keeping watch." There was something in his gaze far more comforting than that of others, that she trusted, something she wanted to reach out and grab hold of and never let go. He was convincing enough of that even with a few words. He seemed to be quite good at that.

"Judy!" Judy looked away from Captain Rosenthal and looked towards the entrance to the Med Bay; Judy was almost more relieved that she could say for - Lieutenant Bradshaw stood there, looking far better than she had in days, the stress under her eyes still more prevalent because of all the recent happenings, but looking cleaned up and slightly more well rested than before.

"Hi, Lieutenant," Judy said, her voice pathetic almost as Lieutenant Bradshaw came up to her and gently wrapped her arms around Judy's rather weak frame and gave her a soft squeeze before leaning back, face filled with relief and worry all at once.

"Look at you," Lieutenant Bradshaw said, "I just came to check in on you, stop by, give Captain Rosenthal here some company and instead I find you here awake." Judy grinned.

"The universe puts people in places for reasons," Lieutenant Bradshaw said and Judy chuckled slightly at her words, before Lieutenant Bradshaw glanced at Captain Rosenthal.

"How ya doing, Captain?" Captain Rosenthal - Rosie, Judy told herself - smiled.

"Just fine," he said, "keeping Rybinski company." Lieutenant Bradshaw smiled and turned back to Judy.

"How about I get you a cup of soup, huh?" Annie said before glancing at the near empty cup of water, "And more water. Liquids are always important. You were running a fever for a bit, but still, we'll hydrate you up."

"Forgot you were a nurse, Lieutenant." Rosie said with a chuckle, looking up at Lieutenant Bradshaw as she smirked and shook her head.

"My Ma is, so let's just say, I get it from her," Lieutenant Bradshaw said and then squeezed Judy's shoulder, "I'll be back."

Judy watched Lieutenant Bradshaw go - she really was the best - caring, kind, tough as nails, and if you mess with her enough, you'll have it coming. Judy would always admire Lieutenant Bradshaw - especially with Captain Brady going down.

Judy knew that she had gone and taken time to get those emotions out somewhere in the middle of the night, where no one could hear her or see her. And in the morning, she'd been just as she always had, strong as she always had, smiling like she did, crooked and toothy. You would've never known. But Judy knew - the few times Lieutenant Bradshaw had let on that there was something with Brady that hadn't been there before. Judy knew.

"You okay?" Judy watched Lieutenant Bradshaw disappear out the doors and then refocused again on Rosie, who was watching her rather intently, like if a gust of wind blew in, she'd blow over and he'd have to lay himself out to keep her from crash-landing on the ground. Which, in hindsight, she appreciated.

"Fine, sir," she said, and pulled the blankets up more, "it's chilly." Rosie watched her and then leaned forward and placed a hand on her forehead. It caught her off guard - his nearness, his aftershave, his presence there beside her, this sudden mother-hen dotting nervousness exuding just from that movement.

Maybe she still had the fever.

Judy slowly slid her eyes towards Rosie's face, which was closer than it had been before and she tried to dissect it, but like Major Cleven or Lieutenant Bradshaw, he schooled whatever he was feeling pretty well.

"You're a little warm," he said, "maybe you didn't break the fever yet." Rosie slowly stood to his feet and glanced around.

"Let me try and find a towel…." he muttered under his breath before moving towards where a few of the nurses were, quietly discussing something with them. Judy watched, that smile itching on her face to continue to grow wider. She shook her head and glanced towards the book.

"Of Mice and Men." she said out loud.

"It's a good one," she heard Rosie say, suddenly appearing again, "a lot of emotion though. Pretty heavy." Judy looked up towards him and bit back her lip a bit and glanced back down at the cover.

"I mostly stick to Jane Austen, I'll admit," Judy said and then smiled, "but I'd happily take some recommendations though, sir." Rosie grinned at her, where his eyes grew all glowy and soft.

"I'll promise to lend it to you when I'm done," he said, "I'd like to hear your thoughts." Judy did blush, but she outwardly blamed it on the fever and just went along with Rosie believing the same.

"Here," Rosie said, holding up the cloth, "was sitting in ice cubs, asked one of the nurses if you could use it, cool you down."

"Thank you, sir," she said as she laid back a bit, and he laid it against her forehead. She let out a quiet sigh at the relief of the cold cloth there on her skin and shut her eyes.

"That feels wonderful," Judy said quietly, "thank you." She could almost sense the quiet smile lingering on Rosie's face, though she had her eyes closed. Her heart bounced a bit inside her chest.

"Let me know when it starts drying out," he said, and she peaked her aching eyes open to see him settling again down on the chair beside her. He caught her gaze and smiled slightly.

"Get some rest, I'll be here when you wake up. Or whenever Annie gets back." he said, a slight chuckle at the end of his sentence at his words. Lord knows Annie could come back with more than she bargained for and fill Judy up with goodness. Judy watched Rosie for a moment, bathed in sunlight, and grinned.

"What?" Rosie asked, his voice tender in a way that reminded her of home. Judy grinned wider instead and shut her eyes.

"It's a secret, sir," Judy said and she heard Rosie laugh slightly.

"What does that-" Judy cracked an eye open and held a finger to her lips with a chuckle.

"I'll let you know when I wake up." she said and then shut her eyes and fell asleep to the soft laughs of Captain Rosie Rosenthal.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Wildest dreams pt. 31

Summary: Learning how to cope with loss and move on is never easy.

Warnings: angst, sexual innuendos, swearing, GRAPHIC depictions of death and blood

Wildest Dreams Masterlist

————————————

The world is bleak. It doesn’t seem so, she knows it is. Everyone around her wants to speed through the grief she’s struggling with, trying to keep her busy with pesky tasks she gives no fuck about. Waking up in the morning makes her nauseous, getting out of bed is a chore she often attempts to skip out on.

Paul doesn’t allow it. It’s nothing he does or says, it’s the look in his eye that makes her heart ache worse than it already does.

The worry in those chocolate brown hues is a gut punch she can’t escape and for some unfathomable reason, she resents him for it. She resents the love he touches her with, the kindness in his words, the way he treats her as if she’s a fragile Christmas ornament when all she wants is for him to grab her, to kiss her hard enough for the numbness to recede and give way to something, anything palpable that would make her feel alive. She wants him to stop time, to make the world stop spinning so fast outside the bay window he built for her – to make it all easier to carry on her shoulders. It’s unfair, she’s painfully aware of how unfair it is, but watching the snow falling where her father bled out is unnerving. The scenery changes forcibly as if she could ever forget the sound of gurgling as he choked on his own blood, unable to breathe no matter how hard she tried to clear his airway…but there was nothing to clear – his throat was ripped in a way she would have failed even if they were in an operating room with a skilled team by her side.

Paul places her favorite tea beside her, pressing a gentle kiss on her left temple as she stares ahead at the trees.

Perhaps something or someone could be staring back at her right now and she’d be none the wiser. It’s the beauty of being human, some would say. Ignorance is bliss. Not if you ask Y/N. The worst part of being human when your loved ones are threatened is the helplessness when faced with danger. No one can make that feeling of uselessness fade.

Is this how Paul felt when he believed she’d meet the fate her father did? He’s a wolf unable to protect his imprint, after all, he must have felt this way. Maybe he still feels it. She’s seen the shame in his eyes, he’s blaming himself for the way it all turned out, but he must be secretly content she’s not the Y/L/N he had to bury. Well, she can’t blame him for it. If her father had the choice in the matter, he’d have chosen it to be him over her and she hates it. Everyone would have made the choice that placed her in this position without any regard for how it would affect her.

She takes comfort in delusions of her mother being there, guiding her father through the afterlife. Part of her always struggled to trust there’s anything after death, but if she cannot imagine it now, she might as well perish. No. There has to be something more. The human soul is comprised of things no science has been able to explain…twenty-one grams no one can account for. It can’t be a coincidence. His soul is with her mother’s and they’re finally together. If there’s anything she’s certain, is that her father suffered terribly after her mother passed, but he showed up for Y/N every minute of every day. Even when she left for so many years, he didn’t move out of the home they made, choosing to see all the pieces of her mother left in every inch of that house. Despite the solace it brought him, Y/N imagines it caused as much torment. Yet, he stayed. It was his wish to die in his home, in their bed with the lingering scent of her mother’s favorite flower that he kept alive for all these years that withered in the first week of his passing. Instead, he got to die in the dirt with the taste of his own blood on his tongue.

Worst part of it all?

They never caught the ones who’ve done it.

Carlisle and Edward went furthest out, following the monster all across several state lines before losing their scent. It was a vampire, they told her. That much they were certain of, but that’s not what she wondered. Y/N knew it was a vampire, she remembered the pale-skinned creature staring at her with burgundy red eyes and a smirk on lips that had her father’s blood dripping from it. It was a short encounter, not nearly enough to be certain she’d pick the thing out of a lineup, but it’s still in the back of her mind, stuck on a loop she can’t seem to pause or erase.

“You need to eat”, Paul sits beside her, a plate in his hands.

Swallowing thickly, she forces herself to glance at the content. Meat and vegetables, she’s not sure what kind of meat but the smell is sickening.

“Please”, his voice is softer than ever before, fear of change he sees in her overwhelming him.

“Why not eat at the table?” Her lips spread in a small smile she could tell he saw through. “Together”, she adds. “I’ve missed it.” Reaching out for his hand, she can feel him shake as her fingertips graze his skin. “I miss us”, she admits quietly.

“I’m right here”, Paul reminds her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

But she isn’t. She hasn’t been there for months. Going to work is the only time she feels herself, with her hands doing something worth the effort. At home, her mind shuts down as her heart’s been long disconnected from feelings. Trying to feel love also brings an onslaught of pain, so she’s decided not to feel at all. Nothing is better than drowning in the restless waters of grief, isn’t it?

The look in Paul’s eyes tells her it’s not. It screams for her to stop being selfish and to feel everything she’s been trying not to or he will lose himself, left on the outside of the ice court her heart built.

“I know”, she looks down at her hand on his, her chest hurting with how foreign the feeling’s become. She forgot how warm he was, how rough his skin felt at the beginning of their relationship. It’s taken her so long to soften his hands, to convince him that using hand cream isn’t going to cause the end of the world. He’s been less than diligent with it now, it’s obvious.

Taking the plate from him, she heads to the kitchen. He’s already set his side of the table. Paul didn’t even consider she might choose to join him for dinner. Why would he? She hasn’t done so for too long.

Rubbing her palm over the exposed skin of her chest, she ignores the stinging the realization brings. She’s been gone, alive but dead and Paul’s fear of losing her has come true. Passing beside her, he quickly pulls out her chair, a hopeful glee in his eye. Her bottom lip quivers as her hands begin to tremble. Gripping the plate tighter, her entire body is shaking. Y/N’s jaw clenches, her eyes focused on Paul.

“Y/N”, he steps closer. “Breathe,” he instructs calmly as his hands touch the plate. Her eyes fill with tears, but she sees him clearly – the confusion and concern swirling in the eyes that once looked at her with inexplicable amounts of adoration and admiration. “I need you to breathe”, he repeats and she manages a faint nod as he takes the plate from her, placing it on the counter.

“I’m going to put my hands around you now,” he warns as he opens his arms for her. “Please, don’t be scared”, he says quietly.

Is that what he thinks this is? That she’s somehow scared of him? That she’s reacting to him?

God, she hopes it’s not what’s going through his head right now.

It’s her, not him. It really is.

The warmth of his arms wrapping around her takes her by surprise and she can’t help but shudder. It’s as if she’s been under ice this entire time, accustomed to winter that rages outside, but now summer’s melting the icicles and sunshine is breaking through the fog and clouds. Closing her eyes, she allows her body to relax, unaware her legs will give out when she does. Lucky for her, Paul’s been prepared, holding her up in an embrace filled with endless compassion and understanding she doesn’t deserve. Paul’s always put her first, and she’s consistently blind to him and his needs. And he needs her. He desperately aches for her to show any inkling of love he prays still exists, but he never once demanded it be given to him. As her legs become stronger, slowly helping Paul keep her upright, her hands rest at his sides, closing around the cotton material his green shirt is comprised of. Soon enough, she’s clutching to him, as if he’s the breath of life she’s been seeking in every corner of this damned world. And he’s more than willing to share it, to fill her lungs with oxygen they’ve been deprived of. As her arms spread out around him and her hands meet just below his shoulder blades, Y/N pulls her head back until her eyes meet his.

“I love you”, she breathes out. “I’m a fucking mess and I don’t know anything other than the way I feel about you. And that’s love. I don’t say it enough.”

“You don’t”, Paul cups her left cheek. “But that’s okay. Sometimes life is shit and there’s not much I can do about it other than be there for you. I hope I’m doing it right, Y/N, because I really have no clue what to say to you most of the time and I’m sorry for that. I wish I could fix it and make it go away, but I can’t-“

“You’re doing better than you think.” Looking around, as much as she can without breaking away from him, she smiles – genuinely this time, perhaps the first time since their almost wedding. “You kept the house clean, you’ve gotten me out of bed every single day and I know that’s not easy.” Pausing, she licks her lips as her eyes close for a moment. “Loving me has not been easy. And it won’t be for a while.” Looking back up at him, she notes the slight wrinkles between his eyebrows as they furrow. “I just want you to know I see it – all of it. And I appreciate you. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Paul insists. “I wish I could do more. I need to do more.”

“Kiss me, then.”

“What?”

Raising her eyebrows, her expression softens. “Kiss me. Like you mean it. Like you did when I first let you be this close to me.”

“I always kiss you like I mean it”, Paul grumbles.

Shaking her head, she frowns lightly. “Every time you kiss me, it feels like you’re afraid to touch me. Paul, I’m not a porcelain doll. You can still throw me up against a wall and kiss me like you’re starving and I’m the last blueberry muffin left! Like you-”

Y/N didn’t get to finish her sentence, finding herself moving to the left and her breath knocked out of her as Paul pushed her against the wall with more ferocity than she expected. She would gasp for breath, but his lips had claimed her faster than she could comprehend. And there it is – the breath of life she’s been asking for. It feels more than a kiss, rather resuscitation. His lips are soft, softer than his words and promises of love, she could be so happily mesmerized by them for all the days heaven grants her. God, he’s warm. He’s so warm and his hands so curious and something is tickling her chin but she can’t focus on anything other than the way his hand grips her left hip. It’s like he’s getting to know her all over again, feeling the way her curves have melted with the way she’s been skipping meals. Does he miss those curves? Does he miss who she used to be?

As Paul’s lips release her, she inhales deeply as he moves down to her jaw. His pine scent floods her senses – it’s intoxicating. The slightest touch or glance used to be enough for her soul to quake and thunder, perhaps it’s why she kept him away for so long. She needed to pause life, to let her weary soul rest before allowing him to set her back on fire. With Paul’s lips on her neck, every fiber of her soul is brought to a state of aliveness, finally capable of feeling lust and passion and love, true love – the kind that lasts through every natural disaster.

Running his hands up her bare arms, he sends a jolt of electricity she needs to jump-start her heart. His kisses rob her of breath, forcing her to consciously have to remind herself to breathe, drowning in his need and desire for her that she can’t help but laugh, startling him.

With his lips parted, he looks at her with confusion, an inkling of fear she ignited with the sudden sound he almost forgot.

“I missed that”, he’s breathless as he speaks and she can’t help but laugh at his disheveled looks. His neat bun is barely contained as her relentless attempts to run her hands through left it looking like a battlefield. It’s gotten so long, and he has a beard? It's the first time he's actually let it grow for more than a few days. She'd estimate it's been a solid three weeks since he shaved if not more – is that what tickled her chin when he first kissed her? She’s barely noticed it, only making her feel guiltier. Pulling at his bun, she lets his hair flow freely, watching as it reaches his shoulders with amazement in her eyes.

“You’re beautiful,” she whispers fearfully. Will he realize how blind she’s been to him? Does he know the depth of it? She hopes he hasn’t felt it, not to the full extent she’s realizing now. Things have to change, she can’t excuse her willful ignorance anymore. Paul deserves better than he received.

With a soft smile, Paul sniffles. “Jared says I look like I’ve forgotten what scissors and razor blades are.”

“Well, Jared might want to run for the hills next time he sees me,” Y/N grumbles, but so does her stomach. She’s genuinely hungry – a first, like many things this evening.

Pecking her cheek, Paul steps away, but his left arm remains wrapped around her. As long as she allows it, he will not let her go unless absolutely necessary. “Your chair, my lady”, he smirks.

“Why, thank you, kind sir.”

They ate dinner, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. It felt almost normal. The next day, they shared breakfast, but the rest of the day Y/N’s mood darkened again. Paul watched her slip away from him once more as the lunch turned cold and when she left for the night shift, he didn’t eat dinner at all.

In the morning, Paul woke up to the sound of her footsteps. He listened as her bag hit the floor, and he certainly heard the shower running as he remained in bed, back turned to the door. Almost asleep on his back, he had to stop himself from jumping out of his skin as she decides to lay on top of him, nuzzling her cold nose in his neck. Even if he needed to get up and relieve himself from the sudden torture his bladder imposed, Paul refused to consider it. She’s here, she’s the one initiating contact, and he will not be the one to end it.

This became their new normal. Some days are better than others, but she makes an active effort to open up and share her mind and body with him, something Paul didn’t push her on. It feels crucial to allow her the freedom to choose for herself when she’s ready and he eagerly waits for every crumb she gives him.

“Her birthday is coming up”, Embry exclaims. “We can’t not celebrate it!”

“I don’t think she’ll be up to it”, Paul frowns.

“We barely see her”, Jacob complains. “I miss her.”

“We all do”, Emily adds. “But if Paul thinks-“

“If we listen to Paul, we’ll never see her again”, Daisy grimaces. “She’s my best friend and I’ve seen her a total of five times in almost three months. Birthday or not, I’m coming over and if she wants to kick me out, so be it!”

“I don’t think we should push her,” Jared states, seemingly the only rational one.

“You’re saying that because you’re ashamed to even look her in the eye,” Jacob points an accusatory finger, “and you know it!”

Lowering his gaze, Jared swallows thickly as silence fills the air.

“That’s not fair”, Sam is the first to speak up. “There were more than enough of us willing to shift so others didn’t have to.”

Snorting in disbelief, Embry raises his eyebrows. “Because that’s what you do when your family is under attack? We don’t cower and hide.”

“That’s enough”, Sam orders.

“Embry’s right. If it were Kim, he’d expect us to help him. Yet he’s not willing to do the same,” Quil crosses his arms. “He watched Y/N cradle her father’s corpse and didn’t even consider joining the rest of us.”

“I promised Kim”, Jared tries, but Embry is quicker.

“We all made promises, but that’s under normal circumstances, and backing out in a moment where we needed to be a united front was a shit move. Don’t justify it by taking Kim’s name in your mouth or your children’s names. Sam has kids too, but he shifted for the first time in five years to guide the pack. We were all five years in, hell I finally saw my first marks of aging EVER and I ended that streak to help my best friend and to protect my imprint from anything like that happening to her. That’s what I was thinking when I broke my streak.”

Getting up, Jared didn’t bother arguing. He walked out the door without looking back. Nodding faintly in Embry’s direction, Paul hopes he understands it’s in gratitude. If he’s completely honest with himself, Paul’s been wanting to say all of that and more to his best friend’s face, but he’s had no energy for arguments. If it were Kim, Paul would have done anything to help Jared. If it were any of them, he’d have shifted without a second thought. Many of the pack members did just that – even if they had wives and children. Every one of them struggles now. A shapeshifter doesn’t stop shifting so easily – it’s like an addiction. The anger they’ve laid to rest has resurfaced, the need for a fix of freedom shifting supplies is worse than any drug. It’s difficult to ‘retire’ a shapeshifter, especially when they’ve been dormant for a while. Consuming is how Paul would describe it – all you want to do is shift and run, to ignore the ache your heart can’t seem to shake. All his brothers are now suffering as he’s suffered every moment since that first shift occurred. Every fiber of his being covets the feeling of grass under his paws, the smell of the forest filling his nostrils as he rushes between the trees, an apex predator on top of the food chain. It’s lurking, waiting for a moment when his will bends to claim him, to take him away from Y/N as it did before. Paul promised her he’d never do that again and he’s kept that promise, despite the pain it brings him. Looking around the room now, he sees everyone else is in the same kind of pain too, except for Jacob and Seth who shift regularly.

“We can do a dinner,” Paul sighs. They sacrificed a lot for him and Y/N. They might as well get something from it. “It can’t be a surprise!” He insists. “I’ll check with her first. She’s finally making progress, I won’t risk her regressing now.”

“Fine”, Daisy rolls her eyes. “But we get to bring gifts.”

“If she agrees to dinner, feel free to bring gifts.”

High-fiving Embry, Daisy smiles. “And I know exactly what to get her.” Noticing Paul’s furrowed brows, Daisy’s eyes narrow. “I see you’re regretting your decision. Don’t let Y/N feel it or I will show you why my middle name is Thorne!”

Jacob cackles, “No way!”

Embry runs a hand down his face, aware his friends will definitely use that whenever they can.

“My parents were hippies, okay?!”

Paul nods, unable to hide his smile. “Well, you definitely gave us all a present today.”

Grabbing a muffin, Daisy glares at Jacob who bends over, still laughing…extremely, annoyingly loudly. Thanking his lucky stars for ending things with Rachel when he did and remaining single long enough to find his imprint, because if things played out a little differently he'd be stuck with Jacob as his brother-in-law for the rest of his life.

With the sense of relief his thoughts brought him, Paul walks closer to Emily and Sam. He leans on the wall.

“If Y/N gives permission for this thing….I might need help cooking���, Paul sighs as Emily smirks.

“Oh, I’m well aware. All you need to do is ask.”

PART 32

Tags: @notperfect-justme @sucker4seresin @ahoyyharrington @b-tchymoon @squiddaloo @abbiesxox @kellyashcroft @the-chaotic-cow @xxxjaexxx @captainrogers-19 @bexloxl @adaydreamaway08 @sunsetevergreen @volturiwolf @twihard08 @galacticstxrdust @sorrow-and-bliss @missxmarvelous @locokoca @unstablekay @makhaia @venusdelaroix @avadakadabra93 @tearsforhan @a-marie-a @lendeluxe @seagulls-corner @konigslilslut @rottenstyx @itsmytimetoodream @dreamerwasfound @convolutings @thingfromlove @jennyamanda8 @havecourage-darling @luvr-exe @alittlejudgemental @turningtoclown @emptydoorsandpaintedwindows @marvelmenarebeautiful @bringmethe-world @alitaar @sugasthreedollarkookie @chloe-skywalker @heyheyheyggg @feral-ratatattat-king @fandomrulesall-blog @dcgoddess @lilac-crowns-blog @small-town-wayward-daughter

[nakeddeparture]

Bridgetown, Barbados. Is there a LAND GRAB going on in Barbados (Sunset Crest/Carlisle Bay, etc.)?

LISTEN HERE: https://youtu.be/_1ezFzqa0xM

Once they get rid of Benedict, they will go after Joe Jordan, etc. Money Laundering. Drugs. Land Grabs. Mark Maloney, etc., et al. Naked!!

Like, share, subscribe.

[tsuyoiji]

sonunda sabah olmuştu, herkes hazırladıkları çantaları ile aşağı inmişti, saat 04.30'da yola başlayacaklardı. tahminen 11 gibi orada olacaklardı. birden kapı çaldı. ash kapıya doğru yöneldi, 'sonunda gelmiş olmalı'.

kapıyı açtığında karşıdaki çocuğa sarıldı ve hoş geldin diyerek onu içeri aldı. herkes meraklı gözlerle onun kim olduğunu anlamaya çalışıyordu. ash yanındaki çocuğu tanıtmaya başladı. 'bu benim sınıftan bir arkadaşım, adı aeri veya andie ne demek istiyorsanız, bu gezileri falan çok iyi biliyor kendisi, gideceğimiz ormanı da aynı şekilde. o da bizimle gelecek, kabul ederseniz tabii.'

herkes onaylarcasına kafa salladı, tabii ki bir rehber çok iyi olacaktı. onu da aldıktan sonra bir karavan ile gitmeye karar verdiler. fakat sürücü bir başkası olacaktı.

'hoş geldiniz çocuklar, namhae pyeonbaek ormanına gidecekler siz olmalısınız. merak etmeyin karavanı orada size bırakacağım. ama dikkat edin olur mu?'

aeri oturduğu yerden kalktı. 'iyi de, sürücü olarak bay jaewoo'nun geleceği söylenmişti?'

'evlat jaewoo'nun şehir dışında acil bir işi çıktı, merak etmeyin bende güzelce sizi götürüp getirebilirim!' tuhaf bir gülümseme vermişti.

herkes sabah erken saatlerde olduğu için uyuyakalmıştı. saat 6'ya yaklaşıyordu. karavan birdenbire durdu. herkes ne olduğunu anlamaya çalışıp ayılmaya çalışıyordu. 'SÜRÜCÜ YOK!' ash'in bağırması ile herkes ayaklandı. ne olduğunu anlamaya çalışıyorlardı. ıssız bir yerde durmuşlardı. sürücü kapısı açıktı fakat etrafta kimse görünmüyordu.

birkaç kişi karavandan inip dışarda bağırmaya başladı. 'abi! neredesin?!'

zolita, mavi'ye döndü 'çok üşüyorum bu böyle olmayacak, biz sürelim bari.'

mavi, 'e adam burada kalacak?'

zolita, 'herifi 10 dakikadır çağırıyoruz ama ortada yok, bizi getirdiği yere de bi bak. of.'

herkes toplandı, çalıştırmadan önce konuşmaya başladılar.

carlisle, 'ben haritadan bakabilirdim fakat internet burda çekmiyor, çok saçma!'

aeri, 'ben yolu biliyordum ama şu an uzun yola sapmışız ve bura hakkında hiçbir fikrim yok, üzgünüm.'

rudy, 'üzgün olmana gerek yok, herifin yaptığı tam bi şerefsizlik, halen de gelmiyor.'

soul, 'peki biz neyi bekliyoruz?'

aeri, 'durun.'

herkes kafasını aeri'ye çevirdi, ne diyeceğini merakla bekliyordu.

'şoförle konuşmuştum, hatırlıyor musunuz? ben o zaman bir şey gördüm ama sizi korkutmak için söylemek istemedim, yanlış görmüşümdür diye düşündüm.'

herkes daha da meraklanmıştı.

'o herifin ayakları tersti.'

herkes korkuyla birbirine bakıyordu, şaşırmış ve gerçekten korkmuşlardı.

suji, 'o yüzden hava açılmadan kayboldu. doğru ya...'

ryo, 'aeri şu senin diğer şoförü arar mısın?'

aeri, 'hemen.'

aeri telefonunu eline aldığı gibi aramaya çalıştı.

'alo, jaewoo ile mi görüşüyorum?'

karşı taraftan ağlamaklı bir ses geliyordu.

'bugün gece saatlerinde yatağında ölü bulundu. onu kaybettik.'

aeri telefonu kulağından çekip kapattı. aslında şehir dışında işi yokmuş, ölmüş.

herkes korkudan titriyor gibiydi. suji ayağa kalkıp karavanın başına geçti.

'uyuyun, daha çok yolumuz var, ash yan koltukta dur. uyuyacaksan yanımda uyu.'

herkes başını koyup uyumaya çalışıyordu yaşadığı şoklardan sonra. pek mümkün olmasa da suji'ye güvenebilirlerdi en azından.

saatler 12'yi gösteriyordu. 'kalkın!'.

suji'nin sesi ile herkes ayıkmıştı. yine kötü bir şey oldu sanıp paniğe kapılmışlardı. ama sonunda geldiklerini öğrendikten sonra hepsi bir güzel oh çekebilmişti. '1 saat yolu bulmaya çalıştım. fakat sonunda geldik. hadi malzemeleri indirelim ve çadırları kuralım.'

ash aşağı inerken 'bugün yemekler aeri'den!' bıkmış gibiydi. herkes el birliği ile çalışmaya başladı. çadırlar kuruluyor, bir yandan da kahvaltı hazırlanıyordu. herkes güle eğlene yapıyordu işini. şimdiden bazılarının kafası dağılmış gibiydi, bazıları da düşünüyordu.

[cauliflowertree]

carlisle cullen—you’re all i need.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ christmas drabble event.

summary: the 'demands' of the job keep you in forks a week longer.

word count: 0.3k

fanfic no. 037.

you’d booked the week off before christmas months in advance, hoping to go home over the holidays earlier than you usually did. but you hadn’t expected to fall for a certain doctor over the course of the year.

suddenly, you hadn’t the desire to leave earlier than usual, and had informed your boss that you would no longer be needing the extra days off and to add them onto next year’s personal days.

the next morning, the first morning you were supposed to be gone, you waltzed into the waiting room, signed yourself in and headed to get changed. afterwards, you had your first call down the hall.

carlisle had gotten there first. he looked briefly stunned seeing you walk through the door and not another nurse, but composed himself quickly and attended to his patient. it was a quick case—they had been concerned about a persistent headache an carlisle prescribed them some mild pain killers and sent them on their way.

“i thought you were going home for christmas,” he said without looking up from his clipboard.

you bit back a smirk, amused by his remaining professionalism despite you being alone. “well, i couldn’t leave you all alone.”

carlisle twisted his lips in order to keep his smile at bay and lifted his eyes above the top of his clipboard to stare at you. his resolve was quickly brought down by the proud little smile stretching over your face and he abandoned his papers, stepping across the room swiftly to wrap you in his arms.

“and your family won’t mind?” he asked, kissing your jaw.

“no, they understand the demands of the job,” you replied, struggling to feel guilty lying to them when carlisle’s lips were repeatedly pressing against the skin of your neck.

“very well,” he replied with a grin, moving his way up to your lips for a tantalising embrace before the next patient reminded you of your duty.

🏷 @imabee-oralizard @velvetcloxds @garfieldsladybird @flesh--amnesiac @nelleicrain

[mandomaterial]

Hello! I'd love to see Benji with a human mate. I think he'd just be the most smitten guy around. I'd love to see a sweet moment of them together(I'll include a few and you can choose what you like best!)

-Snuggled up in front of a fire when it's snowing outside(They obviously wouldn't be in India for this but maybe a little vaca) blanket, hot coco and all that fun stuff.

-Benji coming home to find his mate fast asleep on a couch or bay window while reading(bonus points if she wears glasses and they're askew)

-Benji's mate getting to see his face for the first time after she's changed(she was born blind and while they're not sure if the venom will work(Carlisle did say that there are things even venom couldn't cure).

Please and thank you!! <3 <3

Benjamin visiting forks hic

you’d met Benjamin when the big fight went down in forks, you’d always been close to Carlisle ever since he’d helped you get over your thirst for human blood and you were so thankful to him that you’d instantly agreed to come when he needed your help.

You were just walking round the Terrance when you noticed small droplets of water floating around. You’d never seen anything like it so you decided to get closer and touch them. To your surprise they just bounced off your fingers and floated in the opposite direction. Your head flopped to the side in wonder, you chased them around and it almost resembled kitten chasing a ball of yarn. When you finally caught one in between your hands you suddenly felt it splash open, it certainly surprised you enough to let out a little shriek, causing a particular someone’s attention to fall upon you. It was Benjamin, he’d just introduced and showed Renesme a few tricks of his, one including water. He excused himself and made his way up onto the terrace. He instantly introduced himself and apologised for the water bubbles, he told you that he wasn’t used to such a moist and foggy environment so it was a little tricky to confine his power to just one area.

- Ever since then the two of you hit it off, always around each other.

- I’m convinced that he has lots of aunties and uncles that fuss over the two of you once they heard the news. The first time that you visit his home country everything was quite overwhelming, it was so busy and the temperatures were seriously something you had to get used to.

- Whenever you get too hot, Benjamin acts as a vampire fan, making small swirls or find float in your direction, or he manipulates the moisture to gently wet your hair to cool down.

- 1000% all of his aunties and uncles compliment him on his lovely find of a partner, they all ask when the two of you are getting married and that makes you blush a little.

- All in all Benjamin is a very soft and caring lover, he’s a good listener and always appreciates anything you do.

- the two of you travel around the world and of course that means different climates, so because Benjamin has his lovely gift, he uses it to make daily life more fun, when it’s cold, the two of you sit in the living room, snuggled up in blankets as he makes time sparks or fire float and dance around you, careful not to burn you. He uses the light of his fire to cast shadows onto the walls.

- his gift is definitely part of what you live about him and it brings you so much joy to see him use it every day. But all this wouldn’t be possible if he weren’t so playful and fun.

- Let’s just say it lien this. He’s perfect for you.

[gisellelx]

Twilight Advent Calendar, Day 3

Dec. 3 - Pick one deceased Twilight character to draw or tell us more about. How would the Twilight universe be different if they were still alive?

"Or Does It Sag"

(~2,000 words)

December 3, 2023 Ashland, Wisconsin

Bella had been the one to break this particular dam.

It was a problem they all suffered from, if Edward were honest. The world changed so quickly around them, and it was easy to lose track of new possibilities on offer, especially when they were personal. An advancement in engine mechanics; sure, Rosalie would keep on top of that. A contemporary pianist rising to new fame; Edward would be aware. And with his daughter, these days, it was simple to be aware of other things he would once have not noticed: memes and new phrases, fashion trends too pedestrian for his sister to pick up on, Greta Gerwig and Christopher Nolan opening polar opposite films on the same weekend.

They all would forget, often, that the world changing might mean that certain things they had taken for granted needed reconsideration. That over time, the arc of history bent toward making the impossible possible.

His wife was sitting with their daughter on the the piano bench, Renesmee’s hands aglow from the white Christmas lights his mother had strung on the banister in the foyer. The tree would come later—Christmas Eve, their tradition since that very first serious fire hazard Carlisle had lit in the room of an inn on the shores of the Bay of Fundy, trying to coax, if not joy out of Edward, at least something a bit more like delight—but the house was already filled with other greenery, the air thick with the scents of white pine, ripened pinecone, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Across the room, Alice and Esme discussed the tree’s placement, how big it would need to be, as they hung ten stockings on the mantle in order by their entrance to the family: J, R, B, J, A, E, R, E, E, C. Although Edward knew Carlisle and Esme always hung them all anyway, this would be the first Christmas since the pandemic had begun that all ten of them would be filled. Jasper and Emmett had taken their Christmas cheer outside on Esme’s orders, and Rose had followed them, the living embodiment of the saying that behind every great man was a woman rolling her eyes.

And then there was Carlisle, whose newest schedule thrust him into two weeks of boredom at a time, curled up into one of the wingback chairs in his socks, staring at a page dense with text in the smallest font on his Kindle, but only pretending to read.

It had been earlier this year. Seventeen years of marriage, nearly nineteen of a relationship, and somehow Edward had never mentioned this crucial fact to his wife. They had been at the Toulouse house, discussing their next visit to the States, when Edward had mentioned something about his sire’s past; the knowns and the unknowns, and had let slip a crucial bit of missing information, a basic fact everyone had always taken for granted would forever be irretrievable.

Bella had just blinked at him a few times, and then, in the cutting way she had, offered, “Edward, haven’t any of you ever heard of Ancestry dot com?”

It had taken Bella all of twenty-four hours. A new account. A deep dive into church registers in London, 1600-1650. The parish records of one Saint James Aldgate, kept from 1625-1668 in a cramped handwriting that looked for all the world like Carlisle’s, which, when remarked upon, had only earned him a large eyeroll from his wife. “Edward. I know you think Carlisle sprang fully formed from the head of Zeus”—this time it was his turn to roll his eyes—“but you do realize that at some point someone had to teach him to write?”

And so they had pored over the records of births and marriages, baptisms and deaths, until they found her. Married, just barely twenty-two. Dead, just shy of twenty-four. One child, baptized the day she died. And the name, lost to the centuries until now.

They had presented this information for Father’s Day. Printouts of the pages; the dates, the eerily matching handwriting. Carlisle had swallowed deeply, thanked them, and shortly thereafter, left the room.

He hadn’t spoken of it. Edward hadn’t been sure if it had been an offense.

The composition under his daughter’s nimble fingers was over forty years old now, otherwise sounding like any other contemporary piano piece except that something about it sounded wintery, a musical affectation of the rapid whooshing of the Wisconsin wind against windows Esme had insisted upon keeping single pane. And as Edward listened, he let his mind drift along with his family's. It will need to be shorter. Esme, contemplating the tree. An expensive pair of earrings, no a necklace, no earrings, and…goddamnit, Emmett as Jasper tried valiantly to hide his holiday thoughts from his wife.

Pride, in equal measures, Jacob and Bella, listening to Renesmee at the keyboard.

And then…a little girl. Well, no, Edward realized at once. Not a girl, a child. Blond hair hanging in ringlets down to thin shoulders, a hat in the child’s—his—hand. The hat, falling to the ground from an open fist, as the dress swung around the child’s ankles, the hair flying in the wind as the child—the boy—giggled, racing into a woman’s round, pregnant belly.

“Carlisle,” the woman scolded gently. “You’ll wake your sister. Quiet, child.” A glance across a room, firelight dancing from the hearth, where a cradle sat on the floor, a warm glow across the cheeks of a plump toddler. Then the warm laughter again, a hand caressing the swell that was to be the third child. A boy, Edward knew somehow, through that strange alchemy that was his own mind and the mind he knew almost every bit as intimately. Then the boy, scooped up, held tightly to the ample bosom even as he giggled and squirmed. The imagined scent—roses, fresh air, sweat, soot.

As quickly as it came, the whole scene vaporized, replaced with live piano music, the scent of resin, Esme’s gentle laughter, the glow of LED twinkle lights. Edward looked up, catching eyes from across the room. A muttered excuse, and the sound of denim on upholstery as his sire excused himself, nonchalantly, as though he’d forgotten something.

But when he hadn’t returned ten minutes later, Edward also made soft noises about needing to find something, pressed his lips to the crown of his daughter’s head, and said, “Keep it up, Sweet.” His wife, ever perceptive, looked up from the bench.

Carlisle? she mouthed, and Edward nodded.

The house wasn’t large. The two of them had chosen it for themselves a hundred years ago, only later to share it with the woman Carlisle had, in all his impulsivity and to Edward’s initial dismay, saved from her own attempt at death. Following a scent—especially this most familiar one—was easy, and a moment later, Edward found himself in the study. His father’s chair was turned toward the wall, staring at a bookcase full of all manner of tomes organized in some system which after a century, still remained impenetrable even to Edward.

He didn’t say anything; it wasn’t as though he could sneak up. They both said nothing, the only sound in the stillness of the room their inhalations and exhalations.

“A sister?” Edward said finally. The head turned, and two pairs of golden eyes met.

“And a brother,” Edward added, and Carlisle shrugged.

It was the 1640s. Six would have been common.

“That’s not at all what I was commenting on, and you know it.”

Carlisle gulped. Edward came closer, perching himself on the perpetually messy desk.

“I wasn’t even sure you appreciated the gift,” he said quietly. “You’ve said so little about it.”

The blond head shook furiously. “I’m sorry. I’m grateful. It’s just—”

A flurry of images. The boy, giggling again. Older, hair shorter, wearing breeches this time. The sister, just as towheaded, her long ringlets dancing behind her as her brother pulled her through a small churchyard, scattering the handful of hens which lived there. The woman, a stern and wry look on her face, bouncing a toddler in her arms. Then blankness, again, the cutting off that Edward knew, like the slamming of a steel door, as Carlisle closed off his thinking to protect Edward from things he did not wish Edward to be privy to. Then came the sensations: the twist in the pit of the stomach, the raw, searing grief as fresh as it ever had been.

When this quiet had continued for several minutes, Edward spoke up. “You would’ve died, you know.”

A nod.

“And none of us would be here.”

Rosalie’s face swam suddenly in Carlisle’s mind. Not necessarily a bad thing.

Edward raised his eyebrows. “You’d trade us? Esme?” A pause. "Me?”

His father bit his lip, an uncannily human fidget that had once been put into his repertoire on purpose, but had now become so ingrained it was just part of him. The image shifted again: a series of flashes, rapid, one after another. The boy, school-aged, holding bravely still while the woman bandaged a knee. A teen, lifting a playful toddler out of the sacristy of the church—the sacristy remembered, the toddler imagined. A fourth child, Edward realized. The towheaded boy grown tall, his face the face of the young man Edward was used to. Clutching hands with a woman in white, anxiety and adrenaline and joy as he stood before an altar, the woman beaming at him from the first pew. And finally, the woman, older, her hair graying, as the young man placed a squashed-face infant into her arms.

Edward knew this part now, understood that Carlisle was so deeply content that he lacked the ability to imagine a family other than the one he had. That his dreams had a way of mixing the present with the past with the imagined, as though all of it were true. That if Edward had been able to lift the imaginary bride's veil, he would've seen the woman whose voice he could still hear floating down the hallway. That the infant being handed over in the memory now was the only infant Carlisle had ever imagined having: even though he had met Edward at age 17, he had a firm idea of what he would’ve looked like at six pounds. No hair—redheads were usually born bald—a grip surprisingly firm for a one-day-old infant. He saw the way the imaginary Carlisle beamed as he handed the bundle over to the woman. The way her eyes halfway closed in delight. Edward felt in the memory the way the baby felt in the hands, and recognized the way Carlisle’s mind was mixing this imagined baby and his imagined weight with a concrete memory from September, seventeen years before: Edward’s daughter; Carlisle’s palms.

I wish she could meet you.

Swinging his legs off the desk, Edward let out a bark of a laugh.

"Carlisle, you’re the one who believes in heaven. You really think she hasn’t?”

The image which surfaced this time was so similar, it was hard to tell if it was Edward’s alone or Carlisle’s, or both. The woman, fully gray haired now, her face wrinkled and her hands beginning to show liver spots. Sitting in their living room, laughing and giving tree advice to Esme, listening attentively to Renesmee, joking about Edward and Carlisle with Bella.

“Come on, Carlisle. If she’s anywhere, she’s here.” He hopped off the desk. “And you hiding in your office is probably not what she’d want.”

The nod came slowly. I suppose you’re right. He ran a hand through his hair and attempted a smile. Standing, he placed a hand on Edward’s shoulder. “I am glad you’re here. All of you. Even though the house is way too crowded.”

He chuckled. “We’ll leave before New Year’s.”

“Is that a promise?”

Edward punched Carlisle in the bicep, but they both laughed. Carlisle gestured to the door.

Come. Let’s see what your mother has figured out about the tree.

Edward nodded, and followed Carlisle’s steps. But at the door, his sire stopped, gazing back toward the desk where Edward still stood. The young boy resurfaced, lying against the woman, the girl, still asleep, the unborn infant a flutter under his brother's rib. Slowly, the boy's eyelids, too, grew heavy.

Carlisle blinked, snapping his mind abruptly back to the study. The boy was replaced by books. Thank you for giving her back to me.

And Edward saw it. Obscured by two pieces of mail, but still on top of the pile, the scent of Carlisle’s fingers still fresh, as though he’d rifled through it as recently as this morning. The envelope that he’d prepared, lettered in Bella’s handwriting, given for Father’s Day. The name, lost to time, resurfaced with technology, and with it, memory, imagination, grief, and somehow, love. As he moved, he brushed aside the bank statements on top, leaving the whole envelope visible as he exited the room.

Sarah

it read.

Closing the study door, Edward turned out the light and headed back toward his family.

Masterpost/Prompts Montage Masterpost

[goldeneyedgirl]

AILess Whumptober Day 12: Self-Harm

sharp objects. (day 12: self-harm).

twilight, alice/jasper, pg, human alice/vampire jasper.

trigger warnings for self harm & allusions to suicidal ideation.

I had a galaxy brained alternative to this after I wrote it, so now I'm mad. Had a few days off because I was ill/traveling/homework, so the next couple will be out of order.

He doesn’t like leaving for too long.

But Carlisle had planned the family hunt up in Canada, and even Edward was being pried away from Bella for the four days. And it was going to be sunny, so it wasn’t like he could have left the house anyway.

(He tries to negotiate with Carlisle, to get them to leave at midnight so that he’ll be there until she falls asleep. Carlisle laughs at him and says that he and Alice will be fine if they’re apart for one weekend. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t tell Carlisle the truth.)

Alice says that she’ll be fine, and she doesn’t give him any reason not to believe her; she’s had a good few weeks and she even teases him about being overprotective.

But she’s good at that, at convincing him everything will be okay.

It’s only four days. He’ll be back Monday night.

The uneasy feeling settles in the second he leaves her with a kiss Friday afternoon, watching her walk up to her grandmother’s front door and slip inside.

He has little to no respect for Mrs Brandon - a sharp, cold woman who treated Alice with either disinterest or disdain, she was possibly the worst choice for a guardian when Alice was so very fragile. It was no secret that Mrs Brandon planned to evict Alice from the house in February, the day she turned eighteen - Alice even had a countdown calendar inside her wardrobe of how many days left (one hundred and fifty-eight).

The only upside of Mrs Brandon was that she was a busy woman, scheduling dozens of social events every week. This week she was in Neah Bay on some painting jaunt that left Alice alone in the old house that smelt like rain, an impersonal grey and white residence that showed no evidence that Alice existed in Linda Brandon’s life - not a photograph, not a pair of shoes, not a stray pencil.

Jasper couldn’t understand how the old bitch was the best guardian for Alice. That there wasn’t an aunt or cousin out there that would have welcomed her into their home.

When he’d asked her, Alice had laughed - the Brandons were just like that, according to her. She couldn’t remember the last time her father had hugged her. Her father’s family, they didn’t even acknowledge her when she was in the room, their gazes sliding over her like she’s part of the furniture. An embarrassment, the bastard daughter from that slut of a secretary; not white enough to blend in with the Brandons - a beacon for gossip and slander and worst of all, the truth.

She doesn’t know her mother’s family, and she has no information on how to find them.

(Her mother was always sad, according to Alice. Insubstantial and halfway gone when Alice was small. She didn’t answer questions she didn’t like; if Alice pestered her too much, about things she didn’t want to talk about, there would be a slap to the face. And then soft, gushing apologies and tears.)

So Linda Brandon was the only choice. A resentful divorcee in a cold house, pointedly ignoring the traumatized girl haunting the top floor. A recipe for disaster. But Alice is alone and she’d been excited to cook for herself, listing half a dozen dishes she was going to make before Linda returned home on Wednesday. How she could watch TV in the living room, and do her laundry properly, and it was going to be a good weekend.

(He checked that she had her medication. A few times, because she’s forgotten before. Or her idiot father hasn’t put her allowance in and she couldn’t afford to pick up refills. He takes care of that now. He takes care of everything.)

They only come home early because Carlisle gets a call from the hospital about an emergency shift change. It’s late Sunday night, Monday morning really, when he crosses into the backyard of the Brandon house.

He knows before he’s even in the tree. He can feel it. He can smell it.

(He wishes he could ask for help. But he has to take care of her, he has to protect her. The family has barely accepted Bella and she’s ordinary. Sturdy. And Edward’s love. He’s terrified that Alice - brittle, sweet, funny, sad, beautiful Alice - won’t measure up. That they’ll say things and do things that can’t be taken back. That she won’t be good enough; that he isn’t good enough.)

She’s sitting on her bed, and he can feel that she’s been crying, even though she’s quiet now. The room is still dark, relying on the clear night to illuminate it - the bare walls, the utilitarian furniture, the absence of any sign that this is Alice’s room.

And there is just… so much blood; on her, on the duvet. It smells divine but the thick hopelessness and misery of her emotions smothers the appeal from it almost instantly.

(The first time he caught her, he nearly lost his mind. “You can’t do that around me.” He’d nearly shaken her, and she’d been afraid, and he’d… he’d had to explain. She knew everything, just like Bella. And he thought it helped her, at first, being unable to bleed around him. But really, she just planned it better, hid it better. It was worse not to know, he decided.)

“Alice.” His voice is calm, soothing, as he climbs in the window, immediately grabbing the shirt hanging over her desk chair to press to the cuts. Her eyes are wide and so, so lost that he just wants to fix her. “What happened?”

Their routine is a good one. He comes over at nine, after she goes to bed. Mrs Brandon sleeps downstairs, so she never hears a thing. He usually stays until midnight - by then, she’s safely asleep and will most likely stay that way for the rest of the night. If she’s going to have the nightmares, her sleep won’t be peaceful and he’ll know. And it had been working. If only Carlisle…

(Carlisle wouldn’t have insisted on the family hunt if he had explained. None of them would have expected him to attend if they knew how bad things were.)

“I can’t do this anymore,” she says softly, dully. Her weapon of choice is a naked blade from an old-school razor and he wonders where she got it. If she’s bought a box of them, secreted away somewhere. He’s always tempted to go through her things to find all the sharp objects, but he can’t. He loves her and she trusts him. And hiding her scissors and her nail file doesn’t help when she can just go downstairs and rifle in the cutlery drawer. “I can’t, Jasper, I can’t.” There’s an edge of hysteria in her voice.

Her panic is a dying animal struggling against the inevitable.

“Let me see,” he says gently, and he pulls back the shirt. He’s learned how to patch her up; there’s a rough first-aid kit in her nightstand. Steri-strips, liquid bandages, dressings… he’s had a crash course in human first-aid. The Cullens would be so, so proud of him if they knew he could face this and control him. Even Esme couldn't manage this kind of resistance.

(Really, Alice does the heavy lifting when she calms down. She’s always told him that she doesn’t expect him to piece her back together. He just needs to be there and keep the bleeding to a minimum, and she’ll do the rest. But there’s something he likes about being able to tend to her wounds and clean her up and fix everything for her. He likes being the hero for once, the caretaker.)

Arms and thighs.

She’s gone so deep this time, and his stomach twists tightly that maybe she was trying a more definitive method this time. Maybe… maybe he wasn’t supposed to come home early.

There’s so much blood and it’s not stopping.

He reaches over to flip on the lamp, and it’s like the world comes back into focus, like reality smacks him in the face. The sodden duvet, her bleached-white face, the blood seeping through everything.

(This cannot be fixed with a bandage and a kiss.)

His panic is rising, and she’s slumping over now.

He has to fix this. That’s what he does. She loves him completely, has never once turned away from him and his scars… and he loves her just the same, and his job is to hold her together until she’s feeling better. His job is to take care of her, and he doesn’t know what to do, and every second it’s getting closer to something so wrong… he feels sick, he’s terrified.

Alice begins sniffling again, and he can’t… he can’t just sit here.

He can’t do anything. He’s a killer, not… he’s never changed anyone. He hasn’t got the strength. But Alice…

(Somehow, his phone is in his hand, and he’s already dialing. He’s made his decision without realizing because he’ll do anything.)

Alice is slumped against him now; he’s pulling pillowcases off and tying them tight around her arms, hoping that helps for just a while longer.

“Carlisle?” His voice is shaking, and even to his own ears, he sounds wrong. “Carlisle, I need you to come to the Brandons now.”

“Jasper, what’s going on?”

“She’s dying, Carlisle, she needs help.” He sounds hysterical now, and he is. There’s nothing he can do, and he’s ready to plead and bargain and beg for anything, anything to make this better.

He can hear Carlisle already moving, and that… that makes everything less hopeless, like maybe they aren’t the only people in the world right now. He can hear Carlisle asking questions, his own voice robotic and distant. Instructions, encouragement, Carlisle will fix this.

(He hopes they’ll understand. He hopes they can fix her. And he hopes that when they look at her, they’ll see the joy, the humour, the light that practically shines out of her. That this is a bad day, he never should have left her. The nightmares, they cut too deep. This is not the person she is.

And they’ll understand that he loves her in a way he never knew was possible.)

He holds her tight and he hopes.

He’s never leaving her again.

[wolf-girl]

The Cullen-Hale Clan

and their cover-up story in Olympic Bay

Since they are planning staying in Olympic Bay for a few years they are considered as a Clan. However, Rosalie and Emmett live in their own house.

Esmeralda Ana Cullen Pereira

born 1691, in Spain bitten by Eleazar, at the age of 36 Leader of the Clan, whenever they decide to move to the same city at the same time. in Olympic Bay she's known as Esme Cullen - a social educator, who had renovated their houses before they moved there; Carlisle's wife, Edward's mother, Alice's adoptive mother

Doctor Carlisle Cullen Pereira

born 1640, in England bitten by a vampire he had been hunting, at the age 38 He was alone, until he met his friends Eleazar and Carmen again in 1859. Esme was with them at the time and they fell in love, leaving the other two only eight years later. They have been together ever since. known as Doctor Carlisle Cullen - an amazing surgeon; Esme's husband, Edward's father, Alice's adoptive father

Alice Mei Bando

born in 1901, in Mississippi bitten by Carlisle, at the age of 19 Due to her visions her father brought her to a mental asylum, where Carlisle worked at the time. There she endured electroshock therapy which rendered her with total amnesia. James caught her scent and would have killed her, but Carlisle transformed her. Since her father had spread the lie that his daughter had died and her family never visited, he had offered her that life. Alice has no memory of her human life left. she is known as Alice Cullen - studying international business at the Peninsula College in Olympic Bay; Esme and Carlisle's adopted daughter

Edward Anthony Masen

born in 1983, in England bitten by Esme, at the age of 19 He barely survived a horrific accident. His mother died at the crash site and used her last breath to ask her colleague, Esme, who was in the car with them, to save her son's life. he is known as Edward Cullen, but he prefers the nickname Ardy - studying music at the Peninsula College in Olympic Bay; Esme and Carlisle's son

Rosalie-Liane Halle

born 1515, in France bitten by Tanya, at the age of 23 After being reborn she travelled with the sisters until 1898. Then she and Emmett left them to live alone. known as Rosalie Hale - a mechanic; Emmett's wife, Carlisle's sister

Emmett McCarty

born in 1815, Tennessee bitten by Esme, at the age of 25 Emmett was being mauled by a black bear in the mountains of Tennessee, when Esme was in the area hunting. She saved his life by transforming him. known as Emmett Hale - a park ranger; Rosalie's husband