#Can they even humanize themselves?
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conostra · 7 months ago
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Chainsaw Man, or: The Myth of Third-Party Consent
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This is gonna be more a stream of consciousness than a properly-written piece btw. Love me some CSM and had some thoughts on the recent chapters
It finally happened! Denji got molested. Unfortunately, this is probably the absolute worst way bro could've got his first nut off. After a series of literal months of his life being sexually harassed, assaulted, manipulated by older women in his life, and then ultimately coming to the conclusion that his dick, as the embodiment of his sexuality, was his ultimate demon, and that the stick gotta go. Maybe the balls too. They make the testosterone, so they gotta be the problem, right? And Yoru offers to assist him, by cutting his dick off in the back alley between some nearby buildings. They go back there, he changes his mind, they argue over it for a bit, and then she forces her hands into his pants- Yoru, not Asa, forces herself into his pants. One tally on the "ummm, I don't think this is appropriate" score.
Tally two comes after she grabs his penis, and this is where the weirdness comes into play. She remembers as she grabs his dick that this is not, in fact, the first time that these two have "gotten intimate". The first time was Asa and him at his apartment, at her behest- before she was turned into a dog by Nayuta, and had her memories wiped. She remembers that they kissed, and leans in to kiss him again. Denji's face screams confusion, but ultimately, he accepts, leaning in to kiss as well after her second go at him. And she begins to jerk him off, to completion, and he finishes in her hands.
So, here we are. Denji finally got his nut off! But instead of celebrating, he slumps to the ground in the alley as Yoru cleans off her hands in a puddle. Her immediate first response is, at first calm, then panicked, to cut Denji off when he asks why they kissed to tell him that she only kissed him because it felt good. And absolutely no other reason. At all. And that she harbors no feelings for him. At all. In any way at all. In any way shape or form. And in fact, that any and all feelings that she felt or has only came from the "other her", Asa.
Way to clear things up, Yoru.
Asa bitch smacks the absolute fuck out of Yoru on her way out the alley, hurting both of themselves, punching and beating on herself even after she gets her body back, crying into the wall that she did, in fact, like Denji, and now he's just gonna think she's some slut cause she literally gave it up to him in a back alley.
And on the train, they both look like they've gone through shell-shock, and to varying degrees, they both have.
Asa was forced to become a rapist. Despite Yoru being the one to "act", it was her body, her hands, her feelings that were Yoru's own one and the same. She, to some degree in her own mind, bears enough of the responsibility here to feel shame on herself, not just if at all for what she did for Denji, but the age-old shame that all women, but especially women Asa's age are forced to bear for being at all sexual with another person, especially another young man like Denji. She's soiled herself, in her eyes, and Denji wouldn't want her. She holds no value to herself, as much as she thinks she holds to Denji.
There's a mix of other feelings in there, of course. Potentially, there is jealousy that Yoru was the one who used her body for the "real" kiss from Denji, that she was robbed of the opportunity to actually get to perform the acts of both love and intimacy that her body was puppeteered for. There is also more than just a small chance that Asa is too caught up in these mixed feelings in the moment to understand that what just happened to her AND Denji was nothing short of sexual assault by Yoru.
And this is almost definitely what happened to Denji. When he has been manipulated like this for the entirety of his life at this point, with no real autonomy or ownership over himself, starting as a young boy and ending with the collapse of Makima's reign over his life, Denji is almost used to these feelings. But when this... "thing"... happens with Yasa, this on-and-off relationship the two of them have shared over the past few months, his immediate concern is the one thing he's truly focused on when it came down to it for his relationships- Does Yasa really feel a way about him? Or did she, just like those before, simply use him?
First the mafia. They owned his body as a tool to pay off his father's debt. Then, Makima, and Himeno, and Reze, Power, and even Nayuta. Himeno used him to try to get off, then vomited in his mouth, then utilized him to try to get what she wanted from Aki. Sure, she became a friend, but only after nearly forcing herself onto the conflicted and young boy.
Reze, who claimed to have fallen in love with him, and wished to run away. Who helped teach Denji to do math, and read, and to play and think for himself, before ultimately revealing that the love had been staged, and that she was a powerful devil sent to either kidnap or execute him. She kills some of his friends, allies, whatever- and still, he wishes to run away with her. He hopes that, perhaps, although staged, the flower of love had still actually bloomed, and could grow even further were it planted somewhere else. And Reze, in fact, reveals that it could have blossomed even more beautifully- before being cut down at the stem by Makima.
Power is Denji's first real experience with the female body. And it's... not at all what Denji had it cracked up to be. First time bro copped a feel on a pair of titties, and not only were they padded, but he still didn't enjoy it nearly as much as he imagined he would. In fact, this was enough to get him to re-think his goals, and what it was he wanted out of life. It got him to almost remember...
And then Makima got her hooks back in him. She ruined not just his relationships with women, but people in general. Got him to kill Aki. Got him to kill Power. Got him to forget his initial dream, his dream to just find a girl to hang out with and play video games with, a girl to just fall asleep with in his arms. She might, in fact, be one of the primary reasons that his perversion went beyond just standard perversion. By making herself the object of his desire, she could shape his activity, shape the very desire itself. And she did- he needed a mother, and she gave him the idea of that and a lover in one, the shelter he needed through the girl he could fall asleep with. She made herself his goal, and dangled it, constantly. Every woman now compares to Makima, and now with every woman Denji must go through the same hoops.
One of those hoops being: "Do you really love me?" Not only if they truly love him, but if they love him. That they aren't still just there for chainsaw man. That they aren't still just there for his body, aren't there on some secret agenda, that they're there for him. And Asa? Denji enjoyed his time. And perhaps, Denji thought that Asa was there for him, even if she flip-flopped so hard. Even through her emotional issues and diabolical amounts of autism, she was fun to be around, and enjoyed the time she spent with him for him.
And here, stripped to his barest, literally slumped to the ground in an alleyway after being sexually taken advantage of more directly than any other time in his life, is the first girl who's really, truly, unabashedly brought enjoyment to his life in a way that Nayuta simply couldn't, there is- nothing. There is just the idea that, once again, Denji has been used and cast aside.
He's still reckoning with all that. The aspersion of his autonomy is already ingrained into who he is. There is no need for Denji to reconcile with being taken advantage of in the alley, because in order to do that, Denji must reconcile with his entire life. And I'm not even sure if Denji has the mental faculties to reconcile with the idea that this is an issue he has to deal with. Not even taking into account that one of his immediate stress responses is still, after all this time, putting his finger in his mouth, and thinking of Makima.
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knightingale · 10 months ago
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The "Sansa reminds Sandor of his sister" motive that some people try to hitch to his character really just flies in the face of his actual attachments to her, doesn't it? Sansa reminds Sandor of himself. He sees the little boy who used to love knights in this girl who's been swept up by the same romanticism. He sees his abuser in her abusers, the much larger knight(s) beating on the helpless child. He sees how she is betrayed by every level of authority that should have saved her and remembers his father's neglect and Tywin and Robert's apathy for Gregor's crimes. He's protective of Sansa because he was Sansa.
And GRRM's design, that one of the strongest warriors in the series, a fearsome and cynical 6'8" guy who's "muscled like a bull" and has the face of death itself, sees himself in this soft and effeminate teen girl, and empathizes with her because he was an abuse victim too, is INFINITELY more compelling than "Oh yeah I bet she just reminds him of his sister," who he's never mentioned and who we know literally nothing about. Way to unnecessarily water down a character, you couldn't have ignored the black and white text more efficiently if you tried.
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I think you might have been a father to me, once.
You used to be more than just another man who hurt me in my life.
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Reference pic!
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54625 · 7 months ago
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"Have you no more memories?"
I am made of memories.
"Speak, then."
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ruporas · 2 years ago
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hello there, angel
[ID: Digital illustration in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. Vash is sitting facing the viewer and holds a rose between his clasped together hands, but he’s looking to the left, upwards, at Wolfwood, with an awed expression. Wolfwood hovers over him with wings sprouting from his back. He has a cigarette lit between his lips, his arms and legs are crossed, and he looks back at Vash with a neutral expression. The both of them are covered in a blue shadow, casted by Wolfwood and his hovering form, while warm light hits the back of his wings and over Vash’s legs. Small feathers sits next to Vash. End ID]
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nwarrior777 · 3 months ago
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"fat!amputee!fem!laios" bro just make an OC instead. that's no longer laios
well i made one
this oc and laios inspecting each others bodies in ways which i am afraid person bitching about jpegs can't handle
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hellamorte · 23 days ago
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do you ever think about how lucanis keeps losing and losing and losing — his entire life? losing his parents, losing his childhood because of the crow training, losing his freedom, his sleep, and one year of his life due to imprisonment. then the maker smiles upon him, and he's discovering something good (rook, the veilguard team, purpose), acquiring something back (his family, his life, his freedom, his job, his city), finding some peace in mundane things (coffee, cooking, taking care of others). it feels like the scales are finally moving, balancing — only for him to lose again. he loses caterina, he can lose his city to blight, he loses at weisshaupt, he loses grip on himself (thanks to spite), he loses control — he loses himself, piece by piece. rook can help lighten the load on his chest (thanks to spite), he gets caterina back, and breathing feels a little bit easier. but loss is not done with him. he loses illario, and it feels like losing a limb, a large piece of himself violently torn away. he's visibly shaken, but no one truly knows what it takes to string the assorted pieces of himself together and keep functioning. and then loss deals what seems like the final blow: some of his friends are dead or lost, and rook is gone, too. he failed; he only knows death, doesn't he? life only takes, and takes, and takes, giving only to tease and take it back. at that moment, he's falling apart completely — until they find rook, and there's a sliver of hope once again. the scales are moving, the team wins, they eventually go back to their lives — and that's when he realizes that the final blow is the life as the first talon.
#it's written with romanced lucanis in mind but i felt like it's important to mention that he can lose treviso too#also it's easy to water it down to some sort of karmic explanation: he dealt death and that's what he gets in return#but i think it's a completely wrong and even harmful take#his story could have illustrated perfectly the cruel and abusive system that crows are;#how it breaks people; abuses them for profit and (usually) brings out the worst in them (illario)#and they lose eventually — themselves; if not power#and even if you manage to stay human and sympathetic you keep losing as well because you're trapped in this never-ending cycle of violence-#--and power play; and that would tie perfectly with zevran's story they tried to play out offscreen in the previous games#it would have been so much more meaningful and impactful than uhhh whatever they did in the game 🙃#that would give illario so much more depth as well#also i don't believe lucanis wasn't shaken after the whole illario ordeal (i think it wasn't shown in the game at all????)#like. illario is/was the closest person to him. he spent so much time with him. and yet nothing???#idc about that stupid hero of veilguard badge gimme the brothers' agony!!!!#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#rook#dragon age the veilguard#dav#dav spoilers#**meta#**writing#UH i love them both so much 😭#someone needs to do the crows rewrites.........#not me obv im not capable but i'd love to read someone's version#anyway.... what do you think.... tell me...... talk to me about the miserable brothers......
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blackhholes · 5 months ago
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teen wolf meme: [5/5] motifs -> pain
It still hurt! And that's what keeps you human- pain.
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kara-knuckles · 29 days ago
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(Information about Logos is wrong!)
While Sarkaz aging is generally weird, it always gets me that these two are of similar age:
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Both of them were born over 200 years ago, around the time of Kazdel campaign of 898. At least it was established as far back as A Walk in the Dust that Banshees stay young for a very long time, and in Patriot's case we don't actually see his face...
But then we have stuff like 40+ Odda looking much younger than 30+ Hoederer:
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Or 200+ Warfarin who doesn't look a day older than barely 20 W:
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I guess, you can handwave Warfarin and Logos since they belong to ancient bloodlines and, based on backstory, Teekaz could live for a thousand years... But then Patriot should also look young-adult-ish under his helmet, and this thought is just cursed.
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strobbylemonade · 5 months ago
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101 - a dummy's guide to loving and becoming human again
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victimized-martyr · 7 months ago
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ur making me wanna ship kyman (only if cartman gets therapy) what the actual fuck is Tumblr doing to me
Nice to tempt you to the dark side 👻
lolol in all seriousness, that’s cool! Technically, Cartman *is* in therapy. He’s seeing Thomas (Panderverse), remember? And it’s strongly implied he’s on medication (Cupid Ye). Can’t say if he’s getting better or worse, but Cartman definitely has evolved. If you want to go the redemption route, it’s been shown that it takes little for Cartman to be “fixed”. He just needs discipline, a sturdy male figure in his life. He… needs to be dominated. Literally (tsst) and if not that, he needs to get out of South Park— his biggest enabler. So, he’s not too far gone. He’s a real piece of work though, and South Park’s wellbeing (in-show and out) can’t function without him being an asshole. It’s just who he is. But whoever decides to stick with him has to have a lot of determination to deal some damage control, or keep him in check. (hm, sounds familiar…)
So, there’s your condition met. Go forth and ship kyman! 🫡
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spockcock · 2 months ago
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Actively disturbed by the fact Dan and Phil are t'hy'la (Vulcan word used to indicate people with a close bond; essentially translates to a combination friend, brother, and lover. Used most often to reference the characters Kirk and Spock as something like soulmates or spouses)
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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The worst lie you can believe and be told is that women are emotional and men are logical, that men's, essentially, men's emotions are logical and neutral while women's are not, and are in fact frivolous and shallow.
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camellcat · 2 months ago
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first xander brought her back with human breath and determination... then willow with supernatural power and love.... smth smth two halves to keep their third in balance from drifting too far into either side and losing herself.....
#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'M FUCKING BEGGING FOR A GOOD FIC ABOUT THESE THREE THAT ISN'T JUST SMUT PLEASE!!!!!!!1!!!!#I can'ttt stop thinking about them I don't even have anything coherent to say#even with other partners it's still THEM THREE they're so !!! it's just them. three. always#s7 just ruined me guys I missed them so much#still thinking about xander's stupid quip about how he always brings her back from the dead#if u tell me willow only resurrected her cause they were all insecure without buffy to throw her weight around sunnydale...#they LOVE her. so much. so so so much. they're so selfish but they LOVE her it's why they can't ever let her go they're missing without her#I despise seeing people treat the scoobies with bad-faith bc ik they're not the greatest but oh my god#they are IMPORTANT!!!!! there is no buffy the vampire slayer without willow and xander being WITH buffy#look me in the eyes and tell me tweed boy giles and lurker freak angel were going to be able to keep buffy alive all by themselves.#without xander buffy and willow are left without something firmly human to grip onto when they lose themselves in the supernatural#without willow xander and buffy are left with a gap to properly bridge them. someone to make it easier to understand both sides#without buffy xander and willow have no reason to ever grow and try and learn. to want to be more. to live up to who they can be#plus those two give buffy something tangible to fight for. it's not just the vague “world" she can't feel the affects for it's wil and xand#I need someone smarter than me to articulate this dumb post bc I can't I've tried so many times and I can't but I FEEL it I feel it#buffy x willow x xander#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#I tried to find their ship name and I'm actually going to KILL everyone. why don't they have one. what is going on.
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freakinator · 1 month ago
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vagueing but i think certain ppl need to realize that you can be both manipulative And traumatized 😭
#mine.txt#you can guilttrip someone While having abandonment issues!#in fact abandonment issues are the reason some ppl guilttrip in the first place!#if you claim you watched s4 while not understanding that then i dont think you understood s4 at all!#on god if you relate to ls!kab i hope you dont treat ppl irl the way she does zam#who gaf if shes good or evil were on fucking lifesteal#nobody cares about morality except the lsers themselves cause its got direct impact on their playthroughs#she can be as good as she wants but it doesnt change the fact she does a lot of things that are highly intrusive and manipulative#like she didnt even ask first before deciding theyre ''teamed by default''#and everytime she says she just wants zam to be himself she contradicts it#by getting mad at him everytime he doesnt do what she says even if he hasnt even harmed her in any tangible way#and thats just Two(2) of the more recent things shes done not even mentioning her past actions#that she keeps excusing while not excusing the past actions of others#she cant afford him the basic human decency of being his own person#and were supposed to believe she gives a fuck about him beyond using him as an echo chamber????#shes a lot like clown in that while she cares she keeps using her associates#and surprise! not everyone likes being used esp when she keeps flip-flopping on them#/lore obviously cause if she did this kind of unacceptable behaviour irl she wouldve gotten kicked out already#and i hope to God yall dont either#if you do i fucking hate you this is the kinda shit that traumatized me
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blimbo-buddy · 2 months ago
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I hate Jimmy but I like him in the fact that we’re supposed to genuinely hate every fiber of his being. I think the story tricks us into thinking he’s a good person, or at the very least a morally grey character, and it’s like the story itself shows annoyance toward it while also giving us a sense of sympathy for falling to the same manipulation that Jimmy puts others through. But that is only if we actually realize the truth.
it shows annoyance towards us as the player/viewer but saves its special hatred for Jimmy. Not us, Jimmy. It’s annoyed that we show some kind of good will towards Jimmy before the silent reveal in the text that he assaulted Anya. It’s like the game acts like how an actual person would realistically react to this stuff: the player/viewer glosses or barely acknowledges the aspect of rape (as many have while playing the game) and the game shows fury towards you. But if you piece everything together about the assault, then it’s like the rose-tinted glasses fully come off and you see the horrible situation for what it actually was, for who Jimmy truly is
the game is like a test for its player/audience.
do we gloss over the horrific actions of Jimmy, the smaller details in the conversations between Anya and Curly, and the context clues of what Jimmy did to Anya; and thus allow the game to show its righteous fury towards our incompetence
or
Do we realize the truth of everything, of the actions of our protagonist; actions that we were led to ignoring by the main character himself before learning about what he’s done to everyone on the Tulpar; and thus allow the game to still show sympathy towards us while also rightfully being frustrated and maybe even hating us still
in other words: Do you eventually see the tiny, dead pixel in the vastness of it all; or are you so used to seeing the bigger picture that it never crosses your mind until it’s too late
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