#incredible direction to take things. Let my GOAT cook

[conostra]

Chainsaw Man, or: The Myth of Third-Party Consent

This is gonna be more a stream of consciousness than a properly-written piece btw. Love me some CSM and had some thoughts on the recent chapters

It finally happened! Denji got molested. Unfortunately, this is probably the absolute worst way bro could've got his first nut off. After a series of literal months of his life being sexually harassed, assaulted, manipulated by older women in his life, and then ultimately coming to the conclusion that his dick, as the embodiment of his sexuality, was his ultimate demon, and that the stick gotta go. Maybe the balls too. They make the testosterone, so they gotta be the problem, right? And Yoru offers to assist him, by cutting his dick off in the back alley between some nearby buildings. They go back there, he changes his mind, they argue over it for a bit, and then she forces her hands into his pants- Yoru, not Asa, forces herself into his pants. One tally on the "ummm, I don't think this is appropriate" score.

Tally two comes after she grabs his penis, and this is where the weirdness comes into play. She remembers as she grabs his dick that this is not, in fact, the first time that these two have "gotten intimate". The first time was Asa and him at his apartment, at her behest- before she was turned into a dog by Nayuta, and had her memories wiped. She remembers that they kissed, and leans in to kiss him again. Denji's face screams confusion, but ultimately, he accepts, leaning in to kiss as well after her second go at him. And she begins to jerk him off, to completion, and he finishes in her hands.

So, here we are. Denji finally got his nut off! But instead of celebrating, he slumps to the ground in the alley as Yoru cleans off her hands in a puddle. Her immediate first response is, at first calm, then panicked, to cut Denji off when he asks why they kissed to tell him that she only kissed him because it felt good. And absolutely no other reason. At all. And that she harbors no feelings for him. At all. In any way at all. In any way shape or form. And in fact, that any and all feelings that she felt or has only came from the "other her", Asa.

Way to clear things up, Yoru.

Asa bitch smacks the absolute fuck out of Yoru on her way out the alley, hurting both of themselves, punching and beating on herself even after she gets her body back, crying into the wall that she did, in fact, like Denji, and now he's just gonna think she's some slut cause she literally gave it up to him in a back alley.

And on the train, they both look like they've gone through shell-shock, and to varying degrees, they both have.

Asa was forced to become a rapist. Despite Yoru being the one to "act", it was her body, her hands, her feelings that were Yoru's own one and the same. She, to some degree in her own mind, bears enough of the responsibility here to feel shame on herself, not just if at all for what she did for Denji, but the age-old shame that all women, but especially women Asa's age are forced to bear for being at all sexual with another person, especially another young man like Denji. She's soiled herself, in her eyes, and Denji wouldn't want her. She holds no value to herself, as much as she thinks she holds to Denji.

There's a mix of other feelings in there, of course. Potentially, there is jealousy that Yoru was the one who used her body for the "real" kiss from Denji, that she was robbed of the opportunity to actually get to perform the acts of both love and intimacy that her body was puppeteered for. There is also more than just a small chance that Asa is too caught up in these mixed feelings in the moment to understand that what just happened to her AND Denji was nothing short of sexual assault by Yoru.

And this is almost definitely what happened to Denji. When he has been manipulated like this for the entirety of his life at this point, with no real autonomy or ownership over himself, starting as a young boy and ending with the collapse of Makima's reign over his life, Denji is almost used to these feelings. But when this... "thing"... happens with Yasa, this on-and-off relationship the two of them have shared over the past few months, his immediate concern is the one thing he's truly focused on when it came down to it for his relationships- Does Yasa really feel a way about him? Or did she, just like those before, simply use him?

First the mafia. They owned his body as a tool to pay off his father's debt. Then, Makima, and Himeno, and Reze, Power, and even Nayuta. Himeno used him to try to get off, then vomited in his mouth, then utilized him to try to get what she wanted from Aki. Sure, she became a friend, but only after nearly forcing herself onto the conflicted and young boy.

Reze, who claimed to have fallen in love with him, and wished to run away. Who helped teach Denji to do math, and read, and to play and think for himself, before ultimately revealing that the love had been staged, and that she was a powerful devil sent to either kidnap or execute him. She kills some of his friends, allies, whatever- and still, he wishes to run away with her. He hopes that, perhaps, although staged, the flower of love had still actually bloomed, and could grow even further were it planted somewhere else. And Reze, in fact, reveals that it could have blossomed even more beautifully- before being cut down at the stem by Makima.

Power is Denji's first real experience with the female body. And it's... not at all what Denji had it cracked up to be. First time bro copped a feel on a pair of titties, and not only were they padded, but he still didn't enjoy it nearly as much as he imagined he would. In fact, this was enough to get him to re-think his goals, and what it was he wanted out of life. It got him to almost remember...

And then Makima got her hooks back in him. She ruined not just his relationships with women, but people in general. Got him to kill Aki. Got him to kill Power. Got him to forget his initial dream, his dream to just find a girl to hang out with and play video games with, a girl to just fall asleep with in his arms. She might, in fact, be one of the primary reasons that his perversion went beyond just standard perversion. By making herself the object of his desire, she could shape his activity, shape the very desire itself. And she did- he needed a mother, and she gave him the idea of that and a lover in one, the shelter he needed through the girl he could fall asleep with. She made herself his goal, and dangled it, constantly. Every woman now compares to Makima, and now with every woman Denji must go through the same hoops.

One of those hoops being: "Do you really love me?" Not only if they truly love him, but if they love him. That they aren't still just there for chainsaw man. That they aren't still just there for his body, aren't there on some secret agenda, that they're there for him. And Asa? Denji enjoyed his time. And perhaps, Denji thought that Asa was there for him, even if she flip-flopped so hard. Even through her emotional issues and diabolical amounts of autism, she was fun to be around, and enjoyed the time she spent with him for him.

And here, stripped to his barest, literally slumped to the ground in an alleyway after being sexually taken advantage of more directly than any other time in his life, is the first girl who's really, truly, unabashedly brought enjoyment to his life in a way that Nayuta simply couldn't, there is- nothing. There is just the idea that, once again, Denji has been used and cast aside.

He's still reckoning with all that. The aspersion of his autonomy is already ingrained into who he is. There is no need for Denji to reconcile with being taken advantage of in the alley, because in order to do that, Denji must reconcile with his entire life. And I'm not even sure if Denji has the mental faculties to reconcile with the idea that this is an issue he has to deal with. Not even taking into account that one of his immediate stress responses is still, after all this time, putting his finger in his mouth, and thinking of Makima.

[jaesqueso]

Chef’s kiss (m)

pairing: chef!xiaojun x fem!reader

summary: a food tasting turns into a steamy session

word count: 1,861

warnings: quite a few terrible food puns, fingering, oral sex (receiving), unprotected sex (when in doubt don’t go without!)

a/n: this is terrible so I apologise in advance, I was just incredibly turned on by The Lonely Master Chef Xiao... anyway, do give me some feedback please! ❤︎

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

“So sorry I’m late, I-”

You stumble inside the room but stop as you come face to face with probably the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life.

“Y/N!” Your coworker calls as she walks towards you. “It’s ok, we barely even started. This is chef Xiaojun.” 

“Hi…” You mutter not being able to take your eyes off him.

“Hello, nice to meet you.” He extends his hand to you and you quickly shake it before he’s able to tell how he’s making you feel.

“Come, let’s sit.” Your coworker takes your arm and leads you to two chairs next to a table with a few utensils on it. “He’s cute right?” She whispers as the chef places himself on the other side. You throw her a death glare and then look back at the gorgeous man.

Your company was having a fancy dinner with some new investors so they appointed you and your coworker to try out the menu to guarantee the food would captivate them into closing the business.

The chef starts by presenting you the appetisers: prosciutto-wrapped avocado with goat cheese and arugula, sausage stuffed mushrooms and some oysters Rockefeller. You each taste the three dishes as he explained the components. You were melting at the way he talked about each ingredient as if they were meant to be put together to create a feast in your mouth.

Next were the main courses: bourbon pecan chicken, crab-stuffed lobster tail and Scandinavian roasted venison tenderloin. Again you two tried a little bit of each and you couldn’t believe the burst of flavours in your mouth. You both giggle at his food related puns, he’s not only incredibly skilled in the kitchen but he also has a quirky sense of humour. Joining that with his beautiful features and you almost melt in your seat.

“Excuse me, I gotta take this call.” Your coworker left the room as the chef set up the deserts. 

You admire the way Xiaojun carefully plates the food with his delicate hands making your mind wander at the thoughts of what other amazing things his hands might be capable of… You shake the hot imagery away as your coworker comes back inside.

“I’m so sorry but I have to go, I just got a call from the kindergarten and I really need to pick up my daughter.” She apologetically says as she picks up her things.

“Oh is she ok?” You ask in concern.

“She will be.” She walks to you grabbing your hand. “Y/N are you ok to finish up on your own?”

“Y-Yeah, sure.” You stutter as you realise that will leave you alone with the chef.

“You are a life saver!” She hugs you and then turns to the man. “If the desserts are as good as what we’ve tried so far this will be a very successful dinner! Thank you so much and see you tomorrow!”

He smiles and bows as she leaves the door. You take a deep breath and look back at him.

“Shall we continue?” You nod and match his smile trying to hide your sudden nervousness.

The desserts were then presented in front of you: rum raisin crème brulee, coffee caramel panna cotta and lemon merengue pie with sorbet.

“Crème brulee is one of my favourites desserts to serve,” Xiaojun lights up the torch and moves it closer to the container melting the sugar on top, “it’s a beautiful dish with an amazing flavour, best served when heated up on the spot.” He looks up at you and winks.

You gulp trying not to make it obvious that the dessert was not the only thing heating up. You take a spoon and damn if it wasn’t one of the best crème brulees you’ve ever tasted in your life. He smiles at the pleasant look in your face moving on the next dish.

“This panna cotta is perfect for coffee lovers, adding a sweet twist with the caramel.” He explains moving the plate in your direction.

You taste it and are amazed with the perfect combination of the flavours. You look at him and he seems to be staring at your lips. You widen your eyes as he leans over the table brushing his thumb in the corner of your mouth. So he did not have the same burning desire of kissing you, you just made a fool of yourself getting dirty like a child. What you were not expecting was that he would take his thumb to his mouth sucking it clean. That vision went straight to your core.

“Last but not least,” he continues as if he did not just made your legs weak, “the merengue can be served with a lime sorbet to increase the sour flavour or a simple vanilla sorbet to smooth it out.”

“Why not both?” He raises an eyebrow at your sudden teasing tone as you decided to test the waters. “I like to try new things… In my desserts.” He chuckles as he walks around the table to come stand next to you.

“Do you know why I became a chef?” He asks as he leans against the surface.

“Why?” You stand up so you are at his level.

“Food can be very intimate, but also very intense.” He licks his lips.

“Are you sure you’re still talking about food?” You smirk.

“Sure. Food can be sweet,” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, ”or spicy.” He turns your bodies around, your butt now hitting the rim of the table as Xiaojun stands in front of you. “It can be warm,” he comes closer, hips against yours, “or cold.” He reaches behind you taking a bit of sorbet and bringing it to your lips. “If you mix it just right,” you open your mouth taking in the dessert, “and you’ll have the perfect level of intensity.”

Oh you’re definitely not thinking about food anymore. You feel a drop of sorbet falling from your mouth to your chest as he removes the spoon placing it back on the table. You look down and next thing you know he’s licking it clean looking up at you.

“That’s a very good sorbet, it would be a shame to let even a drop go to waste.” He lifts up his head to stand inches away from yours.

“Do they teach you to be this smooth in culinary school?” You tease.

“Well,” his hands smooth the sides of your body, “they do teach us to prep the ingredients before we get cooking.”

And with that the distance between you two fades in a delicious kiss. Your lips are cold from the sorbet while his are warm from all the smooth talk. He was right, if you mix it just right you get the perfect level of intensity.

Your arms wrap around his neck as the kiss develops. You moan softly when his mouth moves to your neck knowing exactly where to kiss and suck. His hands start to unbutton your blouse and you run your fingers through his hair. His mouth keeps moving down to the mounds of your breasts as his hands cup them over your bra.

He lifts his head back to take your mouth and his hands busy themselves hiking up your skirt and pushing down your panties. You yelp as he lifts you up to sit you over the table. One of his arms wraps around your waist as his other hand caresses your thigh until it reaches your folds.

You moan into his mouth as he circles your clit. You were right, his hands are capable of much more than cooking.

“You know,” he breaks the kiss and kneels down between your legs, “a great chef always tastes the food he prepares and you seem quite ready, mind if I do?”

“You’re the chef.” You smirk as he leans closer to your throbbing core.

He takes a long lick through your wetness and you lean back supporting yourself with your hands on the table. He takes his time eating you out like he’s savouring his favourite meal.

The heat builds up inside you and you bite your lip to prevent your moans from getting louder. His fingers are pumping in and out of you and within minutes you cum all over them. He licks off your juices and stands up again.

“Finger licking good.” He winks licking his digits.

“What can I say,” you chuckle, “you are a great chef.”

He kisses you again grinding his still clothed crotch against you naked cunt. You lower your hands and start unbuttoning his pants. He helps you out by pulling them down to his ankles along with his underwear. You take his dick in your hand and almost gasp at how hard he already is. You move your hand up and down his length and he breaks the kiss to let out a low moan.

“Ready for another meal?” He asks rubbing his tip on your wetness.

“I’ve never been so hungry.” You bite your lip.

Xiaojun aligns himself with your hole and you moan in unison as he penetrates you slowly. You hold his face and bring your mouths back together as he grabs your waist to steadies you while he starts moving inside you.

Muffled moans and skin slapping sounds fill the air. Sweat forms on your bodies like somebody turned up the heat to more than what human beings were made to withstand.

He takes his cock out only to turn you around, your back against his chest. He thrusts back in from behind and you lean your head back to rest on his shoulder. He kisses your neck massaging your clothed breasts as he thrusts into you harder and faster.

You clench around his length when he takes his hand back to your clit. You know you two won’t take long to give into the pleasure. And in no time your juices mix inside you like your moans mix in the air.

“So,” he breaths out as he removes himself from inside you, grabbing some napkins from the table to clean you two up, “You think your boss will like my menu?”

“Well,” your turn around to him as you two get dressed, “I wouldn’t recommend this last dish, I’d like to keep that one for myself.” You wink and Xiaojun leans closer kissing you one more time.

✦

“Good job you two, this night definitely made their minds, they’re ready to sign the deal.” Your boss raises his champagne glass to you and your coworker as you toast.

“I don’t know why but it felt like the food tasted even better today!” She nudges you as the older man steps away to mingle with the guests.

“I guess sometimes you have to keep tasting it to get the full experience.” You say with a smile as you glance at the food preparation area earning a wink from the chef.

“W-what was that?” She widens her eyes to you.

“What was what?” You take a sip from your champagne to hide your smile.

“Y/N, what happened after I left!?”

[graniairish]

Walking on Eggshells – Part 2

Hello my dears. I just couldn't resist and had to write a second part. (maybe there will also be a part 3)

Pairing: Daryl x female! Reader

Words: 5159

Warnings: language, sexual content, NSFW, 18+ (my first attempt to write smut in English - hope it didn't get too bad)

Part one

---------------------------------------

"Um ... what ..."

You stood in the door of your room, confused. Hershel had finally released you into "home care" after almost a week of continuous surveillance in the infirmary. In your opinion, the older man was exaggerating a little. You were fine, you had no dizziness, and the headache was gone. But that did not stop Hershel from telling you to take it easy anyway.

Your beloved work in the vegetable fields had to wait for the time being.

Somewhat reluctantly, you had agreed to everything, only to finally be able to go back to your own four walls. You wanted to sleep in your own bed again, even if it was just a simple Prison bed in the former director's office. But still, it was your home.

But you did not expect what you found there now.

As if rooted to the ground, you stood in the middle of the room and looked around with big eyes in disbelief.

Your room, your little private realm, should actually be here. But the room in front of you was no longer your room. Your things were still there, but they were not the only ones that filled the shelves on the walls.

The most noticeable change, however, was your bed. It was still in the far corner of the room, but it looked absolutely strange. Because right next to it there was now a second, and the way the sheet was stretched over it made it look like a double bed.

"I thought Hershel wouldn't release ya until tonight," you heard Daryl's deep voice behind you.

Still slightly confused, you turned to the archer. He stood uncertain in the doorway, Crossbow slung over his shoulder, hands clasped on the strap. His blue eyes were fixed on you as he chewed the inside of his cheek - his nervous tic.

And how this man was nervous right now, and it was not just his ears that betrayed him - which had just turned deep red.

Daryl did not expect to find you here now. He actually wanted to talk to you about it first and not just put you in front of a fait accompli. Though, somehow, he would have done it one way or another.

He was afraid he had done something wrong, crossed a line, or something like that.

"I couldn't take it there any longer."

Only now did you notice that his hair was wet and still dripping. Could it be that he had showered?

Daryl nudged his nose up in a nod.

“I know we didn't talk about it,” he began uncertainly, “but Hershel said it would be better if someone took care of ya. And since there is no chance that ya will move back into the cell block, I thought that would be a good solution."

“That's right,” you had to smile, “I'm not going back there so quickly anymore. I like my privacy."

"Well, if it bothers you ... that I ... then ..."

"No no, I don't mind" you might answer a little too quickly, "I ... I was just ... surprised."

The man across from you felt instantly relieved. You, the woman he loved, wanted to live with him. He could hardly believe his luck.

Daryl took off his Crossbow and leaned it against the wall by the door before walking slowly towards you, his eyes full of love.

“Y/N/N we wasted so much time. I don't want to waste another minute. We don't know how much time we have left."

Daryl lovingly cupped your chin with two fingers while he gently touched your lips with his.

You could not help but melt into his touch. That you could do this now was still a miracle to you, and you would enjoy every single second of it to the full.

"But I sleep on the right side," you finally said with mischief in your eyes when your lips had separated.

"Forget it", Daryl snorted and went to the bed, "I'm sleepin’ between the door and ya."

You rolled your eyes with a smile. Always the protector.

"Don't think I didn't see that."

--------------------------------------

A few weeks had passed since the incident during your run. You are now working side by side with Rick in the vegetable fields again. The plants were blooming and developing fantastically - and they would be very good yielding.

After a long shower to wash dirt and sweat from your body, you made your way to the inner courtyard of the prison, which was used as a canteen during the warmer months of the year. Dinner had just started, and so all residents, regardless of whether they were old or new, huddled together to have their meal together.

When Daryl returned from his shift at the Guard Tower, he spotted you chatting with Carol who was just distributing the food. He liked how carefree you looked at that moment.

Without thinking about it, he walked over to you and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek before you had the chance to notice him.

"Yuck, don't do that," you giggled, "you're all sweaty."

"And hungry," he said with a grin.

Carol shook her head with a smile before filling two bowls and holding them out to you.

"Here take these, you lovebirds."

Taking the bowls Daryl nudged his nose up in a nod and went with you to the table where Glenn and Maggie were already sitting.

You had not noticed how your loving and familiar way of dealing with each other had been uncomfortable for some - or at least for one.

Michelle was sitting at a table with several other Woodbury residents and had been watching you with narrowed eyes. Green with envy, she got up at some point and went back to the cell block where she lived.

But Carol had noticed, and she would move heaven and earth to keep this woman from disrupting your relationship.

Little by little, Rick and the other members of your sworn family joined you to enjoy the meal together and to end the day.

"We should slowly start bringing our supplies up to date," Rick skillfully changed the subject.

That was his less than subtle way of reducing the conversation to necessities.

"Or in other words, time for a run," Daryl said in a nutshell.

“Tightly sealable preserving jars would be important. It will soon be harvest time and we have to preserve the fruit and vegetables. Thank God we have a lot more than we need right now."

That was the first thing that came to your mind. After all, it was important to have vitamins in winter too. Even if cooked fruit and vegetables were nowhere near as tasty as fresh ones. But in those times, you were grateful for everything. And in winter, fruit and vegetables were actually a luxury.

“We should also think about how to heat the buildings. The winter could last longer than we'd like”, Daryl expressed his concerns.

"If we had animals, pigs or goats, maybe even sheep, we would be better supplied with meat."

Hershel had always been a farmer, and you could only agree with the man with a smile.

"Or chickens," said Maggie with a dreamy look, "once again a real roast chicken, that would be something nice."

"Or turkey," you added.

"I just think you can't find something like that on the next street corner," said Glenn, who now leaned over the map that Rick had spread out in the middle of the table.

"Well, the weekly cattle market will probably be canceled."

Daryl's cynical response made you roll your eyes.

"If ya keep doin’ this, these things will eventually get stuck," he said in your direction with a raised index finger.

"That's what my grandmother always meant," you said with a shrug, "and nothing has happened so far."

“You both sound like an old married couple. Really disgusting”, Carl shook himself.

You and Daryl looked at each other questioningly for a moment before you slapped the boy lightly on the back of the head at the same time - he on the right and you on the left.

For about five seconds there was absolute silence at the table, until everyone started laughing uproariously as if on command - except for Carl, who was rubbing his head tightly.

“What that would prove,” Rick grinned as he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, “but seriously now. Does anyone have any ideas?"

“I know there was a farm supply center in the south. From seeds to packaging material to combine harvesters, everything was there. The only question is whether that still stands."

Hershel leaned over the map and pointed to an area southeast of the Prison.

“That's a good hundred miles, and only if you drive on the main roads. It will be a run for several days on back roads."

Your stomach cramped painfully at Glenn's words. You knew that Daryl would go on the run. Unfortunately, since the incident, it had become very clear to you that there was no assurance that someone would come back from a run. And the thought that something might happen to Daryl made you uneasy.

“While we're there, we might as well stop by this huge warehouse complex 30 miles to the east. I think there are still some useful things there. "

Glenn glanced at the place on the map Maggie was pointing with her finger.

"Wasn't that an Amazon warehouse?"

"Yea, why are you asking?"

"Well, I think that this time it won’t work with overnight express."

At Glenn's stupid saying you had to smile, like everyone else. Though yours was more of a bitter smile. This run would certainly not be overnight.

----------------------------------------

"Everythin’ okay? Ya are never that quiet."

It was getting late. The moon was shining through the windows of your shared room and you could hear the crickets outside. You were snuggled close to Daryl, your head on his shoulder, your legs intertwined. You stared in silence into the darkness of your room, which was only faintly illuminated by the moonlight.

Daryl gently stroked your back. Usually there was something incredibly calming about it, and it never took you long to fall asleep relaxed - but not today. The worries about what could go wrong with the run did not let you calm down that night.

In a few hours he would be gone with Maggie and Glenn, as well as a few others. The fear of losing him paralyzes your thoughts.

"Ya don’t sleep. I know that. I can hear ya thinkin’."

You did not answer, just took a deep breath - in and out again. What should you say?

> I'm afraid something will happen to you <

> I'm scared of losing you <

> Please don't go <

There was nothing to be said, just that nagging feeling was there. This fear that the man by your side could suddenly be snatched away from you.

Daryl put his arm around you and hugged you tight as he kissed the top of your head and let his lips linger there for a moment.

"We're a well-coordinated team," he finally began as he leaned his head against yours, "and it's not the first time we've done such a big tour."

It almost seemed as if Daryl had read your mind, yet all his confidence could not take away your worries.

"I promise I'll come back to ya."

"You can't promise that Daryl."

The archer released his hug and shifted his weight so that you were eventually half under him. Leaning on his left arm, he looked down at you, the contours of your face only faintly visible in the light of the darkness.

"I promise I will come back to ya Y/N. We both have our whole lives ahead of us, and I don't intend to miss a second of it."

"Nobody knows ..."

But you did not get any further, Daryl's lips were instantly on yours. At first the kiss was deep and full of longing, but after a while it became more and more hungry. Your fingers ran through his hair and played with them on the back of his neck while your tongues fought for dominance.

As Daryl's hands slowly moved down your ribs, your lips parted for a much-needed breath.

Right at the beginning of your relationship, you discussed that sex would not be an issue for you for the time being. After what had happened to Lori, Daryl simply could not and did not want to take the risk of pregnancy. Condoms were not to be found for a long time. And neither of you wanted to play Russian roulette - like Maggie and Glenn.

But there were other ways of showing how much you loved each other, how much you wanted each other - other ways of having fun together.

Daryl's right hand went down to your ass, which he gripped tightly as he pulled you close.

You moaned softly as you could feel him rubbing his growing erection on your most sensitive spot. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pulled him closer to you. An approving growl left his mouth as he left hot kisses on your neck, making sure to suck the spot that caused your thighs to tighten around him.

You ran your trembling fingers through his hair, trying to hold onto the feeling of his lips against your skin.

The hand on your ass eventually moved down the back of your thigh - as he pulled it closer - which changed the angle of your pelvis significantly. The lustful moan that came out of your lips as you rubbed against him only made him harder against the layers of clothing.

God how good it felt for him when you took your pleasure into your own hands. But you did not get far, because Daryl's kisses slowly wandered further down. A pleasant shiver ran through you.

You knew exactly what he was up to and the anticipation made you almost impatient.

But he took his time, first freed you from your shirt and then devoted himself to your nipples with relish - first the right, then the left - until they were both hard and upright.

The longing feeling in your most private place became more and more unbearable and in an attempt to get some friction, you tried to rub yourself against his thigh.

Daryl only chuckled.

"Impatient, are we?"

Daryl's kissed down your stomach before leaning back. He was now kneeling between your legs. For a moment he soaked up the picture in front of him, burned it into his memory. How you laid in front of him, lower lip between your teeth, breathing heavily, your legs spread, the unmistakable traces of your arousal on your underwear.

A moan came from your lips as he finally ran his hands up the inside of your thighs. Without touching the place where you needed him most, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties and freed you from this annoying piece of fabric with one flowing movement.

The sight the archer now saw made his cock twitch painfully.

It was almost like torture how slowly he ran his thumb through your folds and collected what already glistened there.

With faltering breath, you watched him as he slowly brought his hand to his mouth and licked his thumb clean with an animalistic growl.

You came almost instantly at the sight.

When he finally sank his middle finger into you, you threw your head back and closed your eyes in delight. He pumped his finger into you a few times before adding a second. He twisted and curled them in just the right way so that with each thrust he perfectly hit the spot inside you that made you squirm under him.

Your moaning grew louder as he closed his lips around your sensitive bundle of nerves and began to suck rhythmically. Your orgasm rolled closer and closer, and the knot in your stomach tightened until it was about to snap.

"Daryl - fuck - I ..."

"then let go - for me."

And that was exactly what you did. You came with his name on your lips, repeated like a prayer, and with each new wave Daryl took whatever you were willing to give him. You tasted like nothing else to him, and he could never get enough of you.

He slowly kissed his way back up to your neck while his fingers were still moving slowly inside you.

Your hands went into his hair and hungrily drawn his lips to yours. Just a moment later your tongues fought for dominance; you could taste yourself on his. Now your hands slowly made their way down to his crotch. He wanted to hold back. But he could not help himself, and grinded into your palm to find the relief he needed so damn bad.

Daryl's hips spasmed, thrusting forward a few times before he was groaning and shaking his head.

"No. Tonight is just about ya."

"But ..."

Before you could go on, his lips were back on yours in a demanding kiss.

" I wanna make ya feel so good today, that ya'll be happy to have a few days off."

And with that statement, his fingers left your hot core, only to re-enter with one more.

Your eyes rolled back when you felt him stretch you.

"Fuck," you hissed as you tried desperately to find hold while Daryl's fingers kept trusting into you.

As he felt the sweet pain of your nails scratching his back, his cock twitched painfully in his shorts.

The thought that you marked him, that you would let him run around with declarations of your love on his body for the next few days, almost drove him mad. He started rubbing his crotch against your thigh for some relief as he fluidly moved in and out of you, getting you closer and closer to your next release.

The knot inside you got tighter and tighter, and you tried desperately to keep it from snaping again. Your legs started to shake involuntarily, and you knew you would not be able to resist much longer. Your breath came in shorter intervals and your moans got higher and higher. It would not last long till you would be swept away by pure bliss.

When the wave finally hit you, it was an overwhelming feeling. Your inner walls clenching and unclenching around his fingers again and again as your orgasm swept you away like a tsunami.

It took you a few moments to come back from your high while Daryl's gentle movements of his fingers let your orgasm slowly fade out.

"Okay", you began with a trembling voice as he slowly left your inner core, "that was something else."

Daryl’s head rested on the crook of your neck as you slowly recovered your breath, but you could still feel him chuckled lightly.

Slowly you stroked his hair and patted his neck. When he shifted his position slightly so that he did not crush you any further, you noticed that his shorts were suspiciously stuck to you.

Apparently, he had enjoyed this whole interaction too.

"I love you," you whispered before leaving a kiss on his sweaty forehead.

"Love ya more."

------------------------------------

You patiently worked your way through the corn plants with the rake. The work was strenuous because the plants were close together - after all, you needed the greatest possible yield in a small area - and the relentless Georgian sun burned down on you.

Your hair stuck to you and the sweat kept dripping from the brim of your straw hat. Your arms ached, and despite the leather gloves you wore, you had blisters on your hands where they were tightly gripping the wooden handle of your gardening tool.

But despite everything, you kept working. You had to work through the soil so that the weeds had less chance to dispute the valuable nutrients from the crops.

This large field that you had laid out in the style of the "three sisters" was your whole pride. Corn, beans and pumpkins, the holy trinity of this bed, were perfectly coordinated. The Native Americans had already cultivated these three plants in this way.

And what worked for them could work for you too.

You have been toiling for hours. Your clothes were soaked in sweat and your back ached. Nevertheless, you continue to work, moving slowly but steadily through the beds.

"Here," you heard Rick say behind you at some point.

With great effort you straightened up and massaged your back. You felt every single vertebra as it slowly popped back into its original position. An exhausted moan could be heard as you finally turned to the man behind you.

Rick just stood there, bottle of water in hand, his eyes fixed on the fields.

You gratefully took the bottle from him and took a few sips of the refreshing liquid. Especially with such sweaty work in the blazing sun, it was incredibly important to drink enough if you did not want to suffer sunstroke.

And unfortunately, you were predestined to forget it sometimes. But Rick paid attention. You were family, and family looked after each other.

“Looks really good. If the plants continue to grow like this, we will be able to bring in quite a good yield. You are really a talented little farmer."

You looked at him in surprise with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not sure right now whether I should thank you or whether you insulted me."

“Believe me Y/N”, Rick laughed and put his hand on your shoulder, “that was meant as a compliment. An honest compliment. If we didn't have you, we almost certainly wouldn't even be able to harvest half as much. You really have a knack for it."

“Well, everyone does what they can. And I can do that."

You lowered your gaze. You felt uncomfortable when someone complimented you, so you tried to belittle it.

"No", Rick smiled at you friendly, "some do more than others."

After a long day of work and a long - but cold - shower, you sat down with Carol for dinner. You missed your family members. You missed Daryl.

The presence of the older woman had been a comfort to you in the last few days. This run had been going on for five days now, and it was impossible to tell when they would be back.

The feeling you felt in the pit of your stomach was almost the same as when Daryl had disappeared into the forest with Merle. Back then you thought you would never see him again.

But it was different now. Now you had hope that you would see him again.

Maybe.

“It's only been five days Y/N/N. It's too early to worry,” Carol tried to cheer you up.

"I'm not worried," you said stubbornly while you continued to stare at your now cold food.

"Yes of course. That's exactly why you've been poking around in your meal for ten minutes. You haven't even taken a bite."

You looked tiredly at the woman across from you.

“Eat, you worked hard. And tomorrow you will work as hard again as I know you. You need the calories. And believe me, you'd rather eat it voluntarily than have me cram it into you."

Carol had used her best mother voice. Even if Carol was not many years older than you, this woman had somehow become a mother's substitute for you.

After a few moments you finally began to empty your bowl slowly.

Getting around the days was easy. There was always enough work in the gardens and in the fields, you were busy and did not have much time to think.

In the nights it was different. They were bad.

The bed was way too big for you alone, and you lacked the warmth of Daryl's body.

Even on the hot nights of Georgia, you always fell asleep snuggled together. Ever since you had spent your first night like this, you knew that you could never do it again without it.

Now you were alone. Yet again. Daryl was still on this fucking run, and the solitude in those four walls that you had always enjoyed before, now seemed overwhelming to you.

What is he doing right now? Was he okay? Was he thinking of you, too?

With these wistful thoughts, you finally drifted into a dreamless sleep.

-----------------------------------------------

"If they are not back by tomorrow, we will send a search party out," announced Rick over breakfast.

You made no reply as you continued to choke down your small portion of porridge, bite by bite. You were not really hungry, but Carol's stern look had kept you from skipping breakfast.

“I'm sure they are fine. They will definitely be back here soon, "said Hershel soothingly," they are all experienced with such actions. They are sure to be fine."

Yes, they were all experienced, knew how to behave and how to protect themselves, but that nagging feeling persisted in you.

You had spent the whole morning working in the fields again, laboriously dragging buckets of water to provide the crops with enough moisture. If it did not rain soon, this would probably be your main occupation for the next few days and weeks.

You had two canisters tied to the outer end of a thick wooden stick. So, you could carry the heavy burden on your shoulders and not in your aching hands.

As you were trudging up the hill again with a full load of water, Rick was leaning against the base of the central guard tower, smiling, and staring into the distance.

"Looks as if we could save ourselves the search."

These words made your body tingly and you immediately turned to face the gates. You could not prevent an unspeakably bright smile from spreading on your face.

"Oh my god," you whispered when you saw the column of cars approaching the prison.

An unmistakable chopper at the head of the convoy.

An army of butterflies exploded in your stomach when you saw Daryl. He was back. He really came back to you.

When he finally brought his bike to a stop and casually dismounted it, you couldn't hold back any longer. Without further hesitation, you dropped the water canisters, which hit the floor with a thud, and immediately spread their moist contents over the floor.

You ran quickly towards Daryl. But even before you had covered half the distance, he was already coming towards you - a radiant smile on his lips.

When you finally met, you immediately put your arms around each other in a tight hug. Your head rested on his chest while he laid his head lovingly on top of yours.

Cuddled so tightly you could hear how fast his heart was beating, and an indescribable feeling of happiness flooded your body. Daryl was back - back by your side.

"Did you miss me," he finally began, and you could hear him grinning right away.

“No,” you answered, “not at all. Not one bit."

“Felt the same way."

With these words, his strong arms tightened around you even more, as if he were trying to melt into you.

So absorbed in your reunion, it took some time until you noticed that Rick and Carol were already discussing the successful run with the rest of the group.

"We got almost everything," you heard Glenn say when you had finally separated from each other and now went to the cars where everyone else was standing - your little fingers still hooked together.

"We found hundreds of canning jars and even seeds," added Sasha.

"Wheat, oat and a lot more." Maggie pointed to the back of the overcrowded pickup truck.

"And we also solved the problem with the heating," said Daryl mysteriously.

This run was really a complete success. But the biggest surprise was yet to come.

> C O C K A D O O D L E D O O <

Suddenly the gushing and loud greeting was silent. Inquiring eyes met knowing faces.

You and Rick looked at each other as to ask if you really had heard this now.

> C O C K A D O O D L E D O O <

"What the hell is that", Rick wanted to know.

"What did it sound like?"

Daryl grinned mischievously and leaned casually against his bike; arms crossed over his chest. His chin raised challengingly.

"No," was all you could say at that moment.

"Yea," Daryl nodded, still grinning.

"No way!"

"Yea, a rooster and six chickens."

"How? Where? How?"

You were completely surprised and had to grin broadly. That was one of the best that could have happened to your community.

"Believe it or not, they were just walking around on a street corner," Glenn explained, looking incredulous about his statement himself.

"So the cattle market wasn't closed after all," you replied sarcastically.

Immediately Daryl had to roll his eyes.

"Just don't start with that," you chuckled and gave him a playful clap on the upper arm.

“You really missed something Y/N,” said Maggie with a grin, “believe me it was really impressive to see how Daryl caught the poultry. Didn't know that he was doing so well as a farmer."

"Yea, ha-ha, very funny!"

Daryl's ears had turned deep red, but then he had to laugh himself at the thought of this chicken-catching operation.

"I really would have liked to see that," you said with a laugh.

"Well, maybe there will be a repetition," said Glenn, "we have to get the critters out of the car somehow without them getting lost again."

"Ya can forget that right away," Daryl announced in a stern voice.

"Don't worry, I'll help you", you smiled at your boyfriend.

After a few minutes of reunion, you started to get the supplies out of the cars and to distribute them in the storage rooms.

Building a chicken coop was definitely on your to-do list for tomorrow. And it has been a long time since you had been looking forward to a job as much as this.

"And I found something for you too," Maggie whispered to you when she put her arm around your shoulders in a friendly manner.

You two had just cleared away a load of canning jars and were about to trot back to the cars.

"And that would be?"

Surprised you stopped and looked at her questioningly. You did not ask her to get you anything.

“I won't tell you yet,” she smiled, “but you will definitely enjoy it - as well as Daryl."

With these words, your best friend left you in the yard as she made her way back to the cars with a mischievous grin.

Part one Part tree

[lover-of-skellies]

Marked

So uhh, this isn’t off the prompt list thing and literally no one asked for it, but I decided to go back and edit a super old thing I wrote. It’s supposed to be part of something a lot bigger, but for now, the whole thing’s been discontinued

Essentially, this is an OC insert kinda thing with my girl Adrienne. She’s been trapped in Horrortale for a little while, and since Sans decided to be merciful, she’s been allowed to live in a spare room in his and Pap’s house. She has free roam of the house and can do pretty much whatever the hell she wants (as long as it doesn’t involve getting into the pantry and digging into their reserves), and in exchange for all of that and being allowed to live, he and Papyrus have some super basic rules they expect her to follow

Rule number 1 is that she is to be helpful, and try to maintain the house while they’re away. Rule number two is that she’s not to leave the house without covering her face and hands. Rule number three is that she’s never to leave the house alone, without one or both of them nearby

Out of boredom and hunger, she leaves the house one day, following the smell of food. This doesn’t seem like it’d be anything huge, but it’s a major no-no, and it doesn’t go unpunished

Papyrus is also surprisingly good at giving advice, too. He might not have much experience with dating, but he knows exactly what he's talking about

If you make it to the end, I have to give you kudos because this is a complete cringe-fest ^^"

((Gonna add some potential trigger warnings for: angst, slight violence, and public humiliation))

Pain.

Searing pain.

The once blue-nette had been exploring the town, much to her guardians’ displeasure. She’d known it wasn’t a good idea, and for what reasons, she was well aware, but she had to do something. Staying holed away in the house every moment of every day was a completely new level of boring, one that she hadn’t even known existed. Her guardian had made it very clear that she was to never leave the house unless he or his brother were to accompany her, but today… well. His brother was away, probably at the capital getting physically and verbally abused by their queen, and he himself? She wasn’t sure what he did while he was away, but she’d learned not to ask too many questions. The first few times she tried asking, he’d been quick to change the subject or dodge her questions entirely, or he’d simply laugh and make a joke which he deemed hilarious when in reality, it wasn’t. Once he got tired of her asking, his humor quickly dissipated and was replaced by anger. He didn’t even have to look at her for her to know he was upset; all it took was a few short, clipped responses, and how she could practically hear him frown when he spoke. That’s beside the point though.

At the moment, she was suspended in mid air by her throat, her legs flailing as she began clawing at her assailant’s arm, her teeth bared as she struggled to free herself. The slightly withered fire monster shrugged off her attempts to attack him as if they were nothing at all; even though his strength had been diminished and was now only half of what it used to be, he was still far tougher than she could ever hope to be. Having smelled food, she made the mistake of slipping into the bar he owned, her hood tugged as far over her face as possible. She had glanced around the establishment, taken note of the other monsters nearby, and made another mental note of where all the exits were, should she need to run. After very cautiously crossing the bar and taking a seat at the old, worn counter, the flamesman had wordlessly poured a glass of water. He nudged it in her direction, and she’d eagerly accepted it, being mindful of how much of her face was concealed as she sipped the cold beverage.

For a moment, she was relaxed, and she nearly forgot the very real danger she was in. She was snapped out of her brief feeling of serenity as the Grillby fully shifted his attention to her. He made a soft, questioning sound, and she kept her head low, speaking just barely loud enough for him to hear, “What’re ya serving, Grillby?” He grunted, well prepared to offer her a short, yet simple answer, but was cut off by another monster who seated himself beside the girl, “I don’t think I’ve seen you around these parts before, friend… where are you from?” The teen lowered her gaze to the countertop, catching a glimpse of what looked to be faded blue fur. She didn’t know what monster could possibly want to talk to her, but she remained as calm and casual as possible in hope of not drawing any more attention to herself, “The ruins.”

With their interest now fully piqued, the monster beside her hummed incredulously, “The ruins, huh?... I take it you’ve met our former queen then. Toriel.” Upon hearing the familiar goat monster’s name, the teen saw images flicker in her mind; memories of her time in the ruins before she managed to escape. How Toriel had guided her through all the traps and puzzles that laid in waiting. How she held her close and allowed her to sob into her shoulder. How she’d convinced Adrienne to go back to her house, where there’d be a warm bed, food, and all the love and care she could ever want. Toriel had baked a cinnamon and butterscotch pie, very excited to share it with her, but not long after the teen had eaten a small slice, she’d felt her stomach turn. Her world went black, and when she awoke, she was tucked into a bed in a dimly lit room, which looked as though it had once belonged to a child. She felt incredibly ill and had almost no strength, and she could barely stand without feeling light headed. To her surprise, however, her willing ally, Flowey, had made a surprise return. Adrienne had seen Toriel had burn him alive, so she didn’t understand how he was even still alive.

Flowey had been through this exact same situation too many times to count, as it turned out, and he’d revealed Toriel’s true intentions: make the teen weak enough to require constant care and attention, and make her stay in the ruins forever. Or at the very least, until she died. Taking advantage of a distraction provided by Flowey, she’d waited for the goat monster to disappear to another part of the house. She’d then made her way to the kitchen and began to search around the floorboards. According to Flowey, there was a panel that could be removed, and underneath it, she’d find the remedy she needed to regain her health. She’d found the vial and downed it without question, only to look up and see the crazed goat monster staring at her from the doorway. The look on her face was one that still occasionally haunted Adrienne's dreams, and she’d been trying to go as long as possible without thinking about it. It appeared as though she’d be getting no such luck today, though.

Clearing her throat and trying to force down her growing anxiety, she nodded, keeping her head down, “Yeah, I have. I’ve met her.” The blue furred stranger watched her with an unnerving amount of intensity and she fought the urge to squirm and lean away from them. As they spoke again, their voice held a curious edge, “Huh. I can only imagine how that went.” Nodding silently, the teen returned to her glass of water, more than ready for the stranger to go away. She knew what would happen if she was discovered, and she wanted no part of that whatsoever.

The monster leaned closer to her and sniffed the air, letting out a pleased sigh before mumbling, “Friend… you don’t exactly smell like one of us. Monsters have their own natural and unique scents... But you, however,” A fuzzy paw-like hand seized her arm with a vice-like grip, and the stranger's voice shifted from a mumble to what was more like a hiss, “you smell like you belong on the grill.” Adrienne began attempting to yank her arm back out of the monster’s grasp and they laughed, simply using their free hand to tug her hood down, revealing her identity to Grillby and the other bar patrons that surrounded them. Her faded grey eyes widened in fear as the monsters began to shout at the flamesman, excitedly demanding that he cook her for them. Despite how the teen shook her head in protest, the mass of living fire moved closer to her, rapidly snatching her up by the throat. She was lifted off of the ground, and he ignored her pained screams as the heat from his hand began to scorch the skin of her neck.

With adrenaline now coursing through her veins, she let out a string of expletives and pulled both of her legs up until her knees touched her chest. The flamesman took a single step toward his kitchen, and then froze as both of her deceptively weak legs shot toward him, delivering a sharp kick to the space just below his chest. She didn’t expect her little stunt to actually work, but to her pleasant surprise, he’d released his grip on her out of shock, gingerly touching the now injured part of himself. Adrienne dropped to the floor and quickly regained her balance, paying no attention to the few monsters who rushed to Grillby’s side. She proceeded to climb over the counter and sprint toward the door, the footsteps behind her a clear indicator that she was being pursued now. Not that she could blame them for any though; food was insanely hard to come by, so if you had a chance to eat but the food got up and ran, wouldn’t you go after it too?

Reaching out with a clawed hand, some unseen monster snagged a fistful of her hair and harshly pulled, causing her to yelp and almost tumble to the floor. She glanced around, surveying her surroundings and checking the exits again. Part of what looked to be a dog’s muzzle could be seen in her peripheral vision and she winced, struggling to free herself from the creature's grip. She only received an amused cackle from the monster in question, followed by him instructing some of the others to grab her and haul her back to the kitchen for Grillby. Looking around again and seeing them approaching her, she stuffed her hand into one of her pockets and fished around, searching through the various items inside for a moment before revealing a pocket knife. Unsure of what she might do, some of the monsters around her stepped back, but the one still pulling her hair only growled. Though she felt the hair on the back of her neck raise at the sound, she lifted an arm and made one single, fluid slicing motion with her hand, the blade of the pocket knife slicing through her hair. While she hated having to cut her hair and knew it’d take forever to grow back, she bared her teeth at the large dog monster, her lips curling into a smug grin as she noticed the look of surprise on his face.

Taking advantage of the moment, she darted to the nearest door, fully prepared to run out into the freezing streets and make a mad dash back to her protector’s house. Freedom and safety were so close and within her reach now, but as she whipped the door open and scrambled to get outside, she slammed face first into yet another monster. Letting out a frustrated and startled screech, she began trying to squeeze past them. They simply chuckled, wrapping an arm around her nearly size-zero waist and pulling her flush against themselves. Hearing the chuckle, realization dawned on her; this was her protector. She would be safe now.

She stole a glance up at his face and his scarlet iris flickered briefly down to her, his amused grin shifting into a taut line. Oh, she knew that expression all too well by now.

From that look alone, she knew someone would be hurt today.

Though his arm was almost uncomfortably tight around her, she said nothing, only turning her body slightly and burying her face in the front of his heavily blood stained shirt. The teen whimpered, wordlessly admitting just how scared she really was at the moment. He shifted his focus entirely to the other monsters that were now staring at both of them, and sensing their gaze, the teen whined faintly, her guardian lightly squeezing her in an effort to reassure her.

Thoroughly confused as to why she wasn’t dead yet, someone called out to her protector, “Perfect timing, Sans. Now how about you kill her so we can all eat already?” The skeleton’s normally rough voice held a bitter edge and he practically growled, “She ain’t free game, pal. I’m sorry ta say it, but I won’t be hackin’ this one ta bits for ya.” A crowd was beginning to form now and Adrienne tried to press as close to her friend as she could, wishing everyone would hurry up and leave. She already hated crowds on their own, and knowing that this particular crowd all wanted to see her get roasted alive didn’t exactly make her feel any better. Clearly taken aback, the same monster that’d addressed Sans spoke up again, “Oh really? And why’s that? You never helped the humans that fell before her, so what makes her so special?”

Curiosity piqued, she glanced up at the skeleton again, though he didn’t return the gaze. He just continued staring the other monster down, his iris nearly glowing now from the extent of his agitation, “Because she’s mine. Ya hear me? This little slab a’ meat belongs ta me.” A tiny burst of heat rushed to her face upon hearing his response; was he really claiming her right now? Claiming that she was his, and using his power over the others to coerce them into sparing her? Unbelievable.

Another monster decided to interject, countering Sans’ statement with, “Then how come you haven’t marked her yet?”

Oh boy. Of course someone would ask. Why wouldn’t they? She had no idea what she was expecting, but it clearly wasn’t that. With an annoyed huff, the skeleton spun her around, making sure everyone could see her face as he fired back with another sharp retort, “Heh, funny you should ask. I was on my way home with the intention of doin’ just that, but I guess we won’t have the privacy now. Oh well. All you fuckwits better be watchin’, because I’m only gonna do this once.”

Wait, he was going to mark her? Here? In front of everyone?

Face burning with embarrassment, she dropped her gaze to the floor, letting out a soft squeak as he grabbed the collar of her shirt and jacket and pulled them aside to reveal her shoulder. Not bothering to give any indication of what he was about to do, a faintly glowing blue tongue snaked out of his maw and traced over a very specific patch of her skin. The feeling of his tongue - which consisted solely of highly concentrated magic - on her skin was like nothing she’d experienced before. There was some warmth to it that was followed by a tingle, which was likely caused by the magic itself, and another involuntary whimper slipped past her lips. Her face grew hotter at hearing herself make that sound again, which to her horror, Sans had also heard. It earned a soft chuckle from him and his mandible shifted into a pleased grin.

And then he sunk his teeth into her shoulder.

It happened so fast that she didn’t even have time to register what happened, but at the lack of the expected pain, she unconsciously fidgeted. Wasn’t this supposed to hurt?... What was preventing her from being in pain right now? She felt his tongue trace over her skin again, accompanied by more tingling and… numbness? Had he intentionally numbed her shoulder before biting her?

Seeing that he had been true to his word and had in fact marked her, the other monsters quickly grew bored, the vast majority of them also visibly disappointed as they returned to their prior activities. A sense of relief washed over her and she sighed, stealing a quick glance at her friend as he slowly released her. His tongue lingered behind momentarily and lapped up the blood that seeped from the injury, and his voice took a husky tone as he purred, “Ya taste good, kiddo. I think I could get used ta this.” Her already flushed face became a much brighter shade of red than before and she scoffed, refusing to look at him, “Don’t count on it, mister.” “Awe, c’mon Addy. Help me out here… it’s not my fault that ya taste as good as ya look.” Growling softly, Adrienne scrunched her face up into a look of annoyance in hopes of masking her embarrassment as she rolled her eyes, “Pervert.” “No idea what you’re talkin’ about.” “Uh huh, right. I definitely believe that.” He lightly jabbed her side with the tip of a phalange and she squirmed, yelping in surprise. She tried to twist her small frame away from him and he laughed softly, “Whatever. How about we ditch this place and head home now? This bar is no place for a little lady like ya.” Looking back at him over her shoulder, she flicked her tongue at him.

They’d left the bar and began to walk home in uncomfortable silence. The moment they made it back to his house and he’d set her down, she found herself being roughly shoved against the closed front door with one of his large hands catching her wrists and pinning them above her head. Her eyes widened in shock and she squirmed, “H-Hey, what the hell are you-” Meeting her gaze, the look he wore was enough to silence her, his completely dilated red iris both captivating and terrifying her all at once.

Then he spoke, his gruff voice low, “You disobeyed me, Adrienne.”

Forcing her voice out and reaching nothing louder than a whisper, she frowned, “I… I know I did. I’m really sorry, Sans. I won’t do it again, I swear.” “Do you have any idea what would’ve happened if I didn’t get ta you in time?” “Yes, I do! Really!” “If you knew the risks, then why’d you do it?” Feeling much smaller than before as he continued staring her down, Adrienne sheepishly looked away from him, “There’s just.... Not a lot to do here when you and Paps are gone, and I was bored. I did a bunch of cleaning and reorganizing, and I even tried to fix the TV. I dug through the hallway closet and looked through the games, but do you have any idea how hard it is to actually play a game by yourself and have fun at the same time?”

With his free hand, the skeleton cupped his face, letting a deep sigh, “You risked your life… you risked dying, because you were bored? Am I hearin’ that right?” Feeling guilty, she slowly nodded, choosing to keep her mouth shut this time. Catching her completely by surprise, what sounded like a giggle could be heard, and though it took a moment to fully register, she had a realization that made her blood run cold; the giggle came from Sans.

Nervously lifting her gaze again to look up at him, the only thing that began to pulse within her was regret. Regret that she’d disobeyed him, regret that she went against his wishes, regret that she’d upset him so badly, regret that she even opened her mouth at all to speak to him, and most of all, regret that she’d decided to look at him.

He leaned back the smallest bit, one hand still firmly pinning her wrists above her head. Her eyes widened in complete terror as his giggling began to escalate, growing louder and louder until he was roaring with laughter as blue tinted tears pricked at the rims of his sockets. Not bothering to wipe away the tears, he placed his free hand on his face. His open palm rested on his cheek as he curled his fingers, the first two settling inside his empty socket; judging by the slight movement his arm made, he’d begun lightly tugging on the rim of it. That was never a good sign. Yes, she loved it when he relaxed enough to laugh with her from time to time, but this display right now? This was the stuff of nightmares.

Then almost as quickly as it’d started, his laughter came to an abrupt halt and his wide grin vanished, leaving only a resentful scowl behind in its place. As his focus shifted back to the teen, her heart began to race. She honestly had no idea what he planned to do now. He then began to slowly tighten his grip on her wrists, a soft growl rumbling from within his chest. Paying no attention to the grimace of pain she wore as his phalanges began digging into her skin, he leaned down, the space between them reduced to almost nothing as he hissed, “You’re an idiot. Get out of my goddamn sight, human.” Adrienne opened her mouth to force an apology out but was quickly cut off, crying out in surprise and pain as the skeleton dug his phalanges even further into her wrists and began to break skin. Rolling his single eye light, he scoffed, stepping back and suddenly yanking her to the side, releasing his grip on her wrists in time to make her small body become airborne. With the sound of something cracking and collapsing beneath her, she knew she’d landed at least partially on the coffee table.

Despite the pain that shot through her with even the smallest movement, the cold stare she was receiving from the skeleton was enough to make get back up, her head hung low as her eyes began to water up. Not wanting to show him this weaker, more vulnerable side of herself, she darted up the stairs, her feet padding across the slightly creaky wooden floor for only a brief moment. She then took refuge in the upstairs bathroom, slamming the door shut behind herself and flipping the latch, locking out the world. Trying to force down the very minute amount of guilt that began to bubble up within him, Sans let out an annoyed huff and glanced at the now completely busted coffee table. He was going to have a hell of a time explaining that to Papyrus later.

~~~

What seemed like a century had passed before the youngest of the two skeletons finally returned home, the sight of the smashed coffee table still lying on the floor enough to induce a sense of dread within him. Normally when he came home, his elder brother would greet him, or at the very least, be lazing about on the couch and offer him a half hearted wave that was usually followed by some sort of pun or terrible joke.

But no. Nothing. Sans was nowhere in sight, and neither was Adrienne. This only made Papyrus’ concern grow; he hoped beyond all hope that his brother hadn’t done anything to her.

The tall skeleton let out a soft sigh and crossed the living room. The exhaustion from the long day began to set in as he ascended the stairs, eager to take a shower and change into something more comfortable. He loved his battle body immensely, but sometimes his sore, tired bones made the item feel as though it weighed a thousand pounds. He wished he could simply change his clothes and climb into bed so he could go to sleep, but life wasn’t that simple for him; before he was allowed to relax, he needed to shower and make dinner for his brother and Adrienne, then the teen was to help him clean up the dishes once the three of them had finished eating. After all that, he was to take Adrienne to the backyard to test prototypes for new puzzles and traps. She was kind enough to help him make sure they worked correctly, so he was always vigilant, always watching to make sure she was never injured on any of them. Aside from being a puzzle and trap tester, his rather small human friend also delighted in helping him think of new puzzles, and she even designed some of her own. She seemed to enjoy partaking in games of pretend when they messed around with the action figures he’d collected over the years, and when Sans wasn’t around or flat out refused to do it, she didn’t mind reading to him before he fell asleep each night, either. They’d grown very close, and he cared for her almost as much as he cared for Sans. It was for all those reasons why he promised to protect her; he had to protect her. He’d become used to her presence and had grown to appreciate their friendship very much, and having her as his friend helped fill the void in his soul that was once occupied by the queen herself. He still considered Undyne a close friend, but the way she spoke and treated him now was… Execrable.

As he twisted the knob and nudged his bedroom door open, the scent of blood hit his nasal cavity and he felt his body tense. Gently pushing the door shut behind his massive frame once he’d crossed the threshold, he made his way to his desk and flicked on the small lamp that resided on its far left corner, the light illuminating his multitude of action figures and an old map.

The faint sound of movement caught Papyrus’ attention and he looked down toward the source, almost unable to believe what he was seeing; the human was in his bed, lying on her side and wrapped in his old blankets. An open first aid kit sat on the floor next to the bed, and cloth bandages were wrapped loosely around her slender neck. Her hair, which was once nearly long enough to reach her lower back, was now much shorter; it looked as though it was cut hastily by some sort of blade. While her arms were mostly concealed by the blankets, he could see that her wrists had also been wrapped in bandages, a familiar crimson threatening to seep through the material. As she shifted again in her slumber, her shirt began to slip down her shoulder and revealed another large bandage, more crimson staining the fabric. His brow bones furrowed as he took note of how the crimson staining it formed a half circle… as if the injury was because of a bite.

In his consternation, Papyrus reached out, a single gloved hand settling on her uninjured shoulder. He leaned down, his spine already aching from the awkward angle as he lowered his voice and did his best not to startle her, “Human?... Adrienne? Please, I Need You To Wake Up. Come On Human, Please.” As she slowly began to stir, he fought the urge to scoop her up into his arms and shelter her from whatever had left her in her current condition.

As her eyes fluttered open and she took notice of the skeleton towering over her, all traces of exhaustion vanished and her eyes widened, a sound of surprise slipping past her lips. In her momentary panic, she’d sat up and tried to move away from him, her chest heaving as she drew in one deep breath after another. Papyrus gently shushed her, offering her a weak, apologetic smile, “Hey, Hey, It’s Alright. It’s Just Me, Adrienne. I Didn’t Mean To Startle You, I Swear. I’m So Sorry For Scaring You.”

Registering who was with her, the teen released a deep sigh of relief. She gave Papyrus no time to prepare himself before she practically threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around whatever she could reach before clinging to his battle body. Though he was visibly caught off guard, he delicately encircled her with his arms, one hand finding her uninjured shoulder again before he lightly squeezed, his voice laced with concern, “Adrienne?... What’s Wrong? What Happened To You?”

The only response he received from the girl in his arms was a muffled sob and he frowned, moving his hand from her shoulder to her face. He used his index finger to tilt her head back, allowing him to see her tear stained face, and as her bottom lip twitched and another tear rolled down her cheek, he frowned; normally she was such a strong, upbeat person. To see her this way was heartbreaking.

The skeleton lowered his voice even further, reducing it to a whisper, “Adrienne, Please… Tell Me What Happened. I Want To Help You.” Her lip twitched again and she sniffled, reaching up to wipe her tears away with her sleeve, “I just… Papy… I just wanted to go outside... I just wanted some fresh air… I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Still frowning, Papyrus gently ran his fingers through her hair and tilted his head, his voice remaining low, “What Do You Mean?... Did Sans Do This To You?” Upon hearing the name of the older skeleton brother, Adrienne tightened her grip on Papyrus, her voice beginning to waver as more tears rolled down her face, gathering at her jaw and dripping down onto her shirt, “Papy… I was so stupid. I made him mad at me. I upset Sans.”

Papyrus’ frown deepened; he knew how his brother could be whenever he had one of his episodes, and never in a million years would he wish for anyone to become the recipient of Sans' delirium. The skeleton sighed as he gently stroked the teen’s hair, “It’ll Be Ok, I Promise. You May Stay Here Tonight If You’d Like, And I’ll Be Sure To Speak With Him About This. Do You Think You Could Tell Me Everything, Though? I Can’t Be Of Any Help To You If I Don’t Know All The Details.” With a heavy heart, she slowly nodded and looked up, meeting his gaze, “I… I went outside today... by myself. I went into town, and I went to Grillby’s. It smelled like food in there, and I was so hungry… I thought I’d find something to eat. I kept myself as covered as possible, but I was caught and got grabbed by Grillby,” she paused, visibly ashamed as she gestured to her neck, “…I got burned.”

The skeleton made a soft sound in understanding and nodded, silently asking her to continue, which she did, “Someone else grabbed my hair and I had to cut it to get away from them. Then when I opened the door and went to run outside, I ran face first into Sans. He told everyone there not to mess with me, that I wasn’t free game because I belonged to him. Then he marked me. Right there, with everyone watching. He was a little flirty afterward and he seemed happy enough, so I thought everything was ok, but when we got here, he… he had an episode.”

Papyrus didn’t know what to make of everything he’d just been told; on one hand, she suffered numerous injuries and nearly died, and on the other hand, she was marked by Sans.

Normally whenever a monster marked someone, it meant that they saw that person as their mate and that they wanted to claim them as their own. That they loved that person with every fiber of their body and soul. Being marked also served as a way to protect someone from other monsters, but there had been cases of a mark not being enough to guarantee the safety of a monster's mate.

Being marked was not only a big deal, but it was also something that every self respecting monster knew should be done in private. The fact that Sans marked her in the first place was absolutely astounding, but the fact that he had the absolute nerve to take something that was meant to be special, shared between mates and no one else, and turned it into some obscene gesture that he performed in front of a crowd, undoubtedly humiliating Adrienne in the process… It was unacceptable.

He needed to speak to Sans, and he needed to do it now.

Releasing a deep sigh, Papyrus lifted a hand to idly rub the back of his neck, “I See… I Cannot Apologize Enough On My Brother’s Behalf. I’ll See If I Can Get Anything Out Of Him That Would Explain Why He’d Behave This Way. Hopefully… Hopefully He Doesn’t Clam Up, Like He Seems To Always End Up Doing. Will You Be Alright Here While I’m Away? I Don’t Want To Leave You Alone If You’re Still Feeling A Little Too Overwhelmed And Freaked Out By Everything.” The teen sniffled, absentmindedly wiping her face with her sleeve again as she nodded, “Uh huh… I think so.” Catching the slight uncertainty in her voice, he offered her a reassuring smile, “I’ll Try To Be Back As Soon As Possible, Alright? How About You Pick Out Some Puzzles For Us To Work On When I Return? A Few Good Puzzles Always Help Me Feel Better Whenever I’m A Bit Rattled, So I’m Confident They’ll Do The Same For You, Too!” Adrienne couldn’t help the small smile that curled her lips upward at how eager he was to help her, and she nodded again, “Ok, Pap… that sounds good to me. When you get back, do you think maybe you could help me fix my bandages a little? Some of them are still too loose and I dunno if I missed any little spots anywhere.” Perking up at the request, Papyrus beamed, gently unwrapping his arms from around her and ruffling her hair, “Yes, Of Course! The Great Papyrus Would Be Happy To Assist You, Adrienne!” Letting go of the skeleton, Adrienne smiled up at him; he was such a sweet guy, and despite their circumstances, he was always so optimistic. He still maintained a sense of morality as well, unlike the other monsters. She honestly wasn’t sure what she’d do without him at times.

Reluctantly parting from his small human friend, Papyrus slipped out of the room, carefully closing the door behind himself. Once he was gone, Adrienne sighed, climbing out of his bed and making her way over to a shelf. As she looked over the various boxes and puzzle books, she came to the conclusion that it probably didn’t matter which one she chose; as long as it’d keep her and that goofball busy for a while, it was good enough for her. As she reached out to grab a thick puzzle book, she winced. Her free hand moved to gingerly touch the bandage on her shoulder; at the twinge of pain, her mind drifted to Sans. After earlier, she should’ve learned her lesson and given up on disobeying the very specific rules that her friends had established. She was a curious being by nature though, and she’d be damned if she had to go on without receiving any answers.

Her curiosity and desire to know why Sans would mark her grew even stronger. She grabbed the puzzle book and dropped it on Papyrus’ bed, before peeking out of the room and glancing around the hall. Against her better judgement, she began to search for the pair of brothers. The most logical place Sans would be at this time of night would be in his room, or downstairs on the living room sofa. If those two places weren’t it, then she’d have to check the basement. No biggie. As she tiptoed down the empty hallway, she briefly paused to look over the railing and down into the living room, and found that Sans was nowhere in sight. On her way toward the stairs, she caught the sound of a mumbled conversation through Sans’ closed bedroom door and froze; she knew better than to go into his room without knocking, so she opted to stay in the hall and eavesdrop, rather than barge in on whatever he and Papyrus were talking about at the moment.

Inside the closed off room, Sans rolled his eye light, trying his best to brush off the lecture he was receiving from his younger brother. It’s not like he did anything to Papyrus personally, so he didn’t understand why Pap thought he needed to get involved. Not in the slightest. Completely exasperated with Sans’ stubbornness, Papyrus pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a deep sigh, “Sans, Honestly. You Didn’t Have To Take It That Far. The Poor Girl’s Probably Traumatized And Too Ashamed To Ever Want To Leave The House Again.” Sans grunted, flopping down onto his back on his old, worn mattress, “Remind me how that’s a bad thing again, Pap. So far, I’m not seein’ any problems with it.” The taller of the two inhaled deeply, briefly closing his sockets as he tried to gather his thoughts, “Sans… Brother. I Love You, But What You Did Today Wasn’t Ok. I Don’t Understand Why You’re So Calm And Casual About It.” Gaining a very clearly agitated edge, Sans practically growled, “It’s really fuckin’ simple. If she’s too ashamed ta leave the house, then good! At least she’ll stay put then and save me a lot a’ trouble in the future.”

Not even remotely threatened by his older brother’s tone of voice, Papyrus snapped, suddenly shouting, “LANGUAGE, SANS. MAYBE SHE DIDN’T LISTEN TO YOU, BUT THAT’S NO REASON TO TREAT HER THIS WAY. IT IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT A VALID REASON TO GO AND PUBLICLY HUMILIATE HER, THEN COME HOME AND SCARE HER HALF TO DEATH, EITHER. YOU ALSO BROKE THE COFFEE TABLE, SANS. SOME OF US HAVE TO PAY FOR THINGS LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW!”

From her spot in the hallway, Adrienne flinched, her eyes widening. Not once had she ever seen Papyrus so upset that he shouted like this. This was a whole new experience, and she could already say that it was both surprising and terrifying all at once.

The shorter of the two let out an exaggerated groan, beginning to absentmindedly tap the tips of his phalanges on the bed as he stared up at the ceiling, “As far as the table goes, I’ll replace the damn thing if it really means that much ta you. What am I supposed ta do about the kid though? If I really scared her as much as you’re sayin’ I did, then she won’t want anythin’ ta do with me. It’s not like I can just walk up to her and go, ‘hey, you know that day when I got mad at you? I’m sorry and I won’t do it again.’” Papyrus hummed, crossing his arms over his chest, “Well… A Sincere Apology Is Only Half Of What I Think You Owe Her.” “Yeah? And what’s the other half?” “To Be Completely Blunt About It, She Knows What It Means To Be Marked.”

The older skeleton brother nearly choked on air, his cheekbones dusting a soft shade of blue, “What the hell?… Ok, then… What about it? Everyone probably knows what it means.” “What I’m Saying Is That She Knows Monsters Wouldn’t Mark Anyone Unless That Person Was Tremendously Important To Them, And Unless They Saw Them As Their Mate. Not Only Is There That, But She Told Me That You Were Somewhat Flirtatious Toward Her After The Incident Today At Grillby’s. You’re Sending Some Incredibly Mixed Signals, Sans. She More Than Likely Was Under The Impression That You Have Some Very Strong Feelings For Her, But Then You Came Home And Basically Told Her To Get Lost Before Throwing Her At The Coffee Table. She Has No Idea Where She Stands Right Now. The Other Half Of What You Need To Do Is Be Honest With Her. Tell Her If You Feel Something For Her, Or Tell Her If You Don’t. Just Make It Clear To Her So She Knows What She Is To You.”

Bolting upright into a sitting position, Sans stared up at his younger brother in disbelief, “So you’re suggestin’ that I go confess my love ta her or somethin’? Is that what you’re tryna tell me right now, Papyrus?” “If You Love Her, Then Yes, That Is Exactly What I’m Trying To Tell You.” Pressing his index and middle finger to one of his temples, the older of the two narrowed his sockets, grumbling under his breath, “Ya gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me… this is so stupid…” Taking a seat on the edge of the bed beside Sans, Papyrus arched a brow bone and tilted his head, “Language, Brother… All Of This Might Seem Stupid To You, Maybe, But It’s A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Addressed. If You Really See Her As Your Mate, She Needs To Know. And Hey, It’s Alright To Feel Embarrassed About This Sort Of Thing. It’s Completely Natural. For Starters, Maybe You Could Try To Help Me Better Understand Your Reasons For Marking Her? I’m All Ears! In A... Manner Of Speaking.”

Sans snuck an uncertain glance up at him and let out a deep sigh, leaning forward to cover both eyes with his hands, “...Don’t make me talk about this right now, Pap. Please. I can’t do it. I just can’t, what if I-” Papyrus was quick to wrap his arms around his older brother, lightly squeezing his shoulder, “Sans, No. Stop. You’re Overthinking Again. Take A Deep Breath And Try To Relax. It’s Just Me Here, And If You Preferred That I Don’t Tell Her What You Say, Then I Won’t. You Have My Word. Just Trust Me… That’s All I’m Asking Of You Right Now. Please, Just Trust Me.”

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 140

And here we have the last chapter of the Food Festival!  This is one part I was pretty excited to write - The Closing Costume Party.  I wouldn’t have been able to get this one squared away without @baelpenrose and @charlylimph-blog... Both of you caught a few things I didn’t that kept it from making sense from a reader perspective. So thank you both, very much.

I growled softly to myself as I twisted my arms behind my back to pull on my costume. Normally, I was more than flexible enough, but the amount of leverage I needed right now just wasn’t happening unless I was willing to seriously dislocate something. Dropping my hands, I frowned as I jiggled my arms a little to work feeling back into my elbows.

“You really should have fitted this sooner than now,” Conor laughed against the back of my head as he pulled the laces tight on the blood-red corset.  Getting one made while laying low and avoiding Hannah had been a nightmare, but it was going to be worth it. I just knew it.

“You just wanted to see me try this entire costume on sooner,” I joked as I felt everything fit snugly - but not too tightly - into place.

Maverick flicked a lock of my hair over my shoulder and positioned it just-so. “It’s not his fault that you couldn’t fit this over your scrubs and have it work for tonight.”

“Who wants to see a corset over scrubs?” I scrunched my nose at the thought while smoothing my sleeves and adjusting my collar. “So far so good?” I asked, slightly louder.

As a credit to their maturity regarding the matter, both men looked me over earnestly before glancing at each other. Conor finally broke the silence. “Aren’t the slits in the skirt a bit… high?”  Maverick whispered in his ear, and an expression of utter comprehension glowed on his face. “Oh! That’s… Love, that’s clever.”

I grinned hard enough to cramp my jaw. “Thank you.”  Despite how daring the outfit looked, there was exactly zero chance of any wardrobe malfunctions more serious than a hole in my stockings  - a near-indestructible nude bodysuit under everything made sure of that.

“Your turn, now,” Maverick insisted, eliciting a groan from Conor, who he had turned toward while brandishing eyeliner.

“Isn’t it bad enough I let the two of you do this?” He gestured at his hair, which was styled within an inch of his life and would sustain an EF4 tornado with minimal loss of glitter.

“Nope,” I popped, still smiling as I sat down to put on my boots.  Parvati and Hannah had envisioned tonight to be a sort of return-to-our-roots in a very feral, primitive way, complete with costumes. “We’ve been imagining since before we could cook,” Hannah had pointed out.  Between that and the multiple hints that I wasn’t capable of costuming myself, I had gone a bit more over the top than I had originally planned. Hence the corset, the boots, Conor’s hair… although the leather pants the guys were wearing had been decidedly Maverick’s idea and I resisted the need to fall at his feet in gratitude.

Once we were finally costumed, we managed to arrive just-fashionably late to the last hurrah of the Festival. I don’t know who gaped harder - us at the party, or the people who managed to recognize me when they saw me leading the men in. Parvati’s incredible, winding mural was noticeably weathered and patchy, giving the overall atmosphere a post-apocalyptic feel.  The only noticeable lighting came from the braziers, and deep, almost subsonic music thumped in my chest, driving my adrenaline just high enough to overwhelm my anxiety.

My nose led us over to the first stall of the night, the smell of charring meat fitting the tone. Per a previous discussion around our costumes, I did not reach for anything but instead Conor took my portion and fed it to me - his idea, this time, though Maverick had readily agreed. It was just enough to set off a few murmurs before I heard a familiar laugh cut through the air.

“Councillor Reid!” Jokul’s voice crowed, turning our heads his direction. Warmly, he clasped my hands when offered, trembling with the laughter he was trying to suppress. “This is an unexpected but pleasant surprise.”

I took a moment to take in his fur trousers and tunic, with rough metal covering vital areas. “The dirt is a nice touch,” I offered, squeezing his hands in greeting. “And Ivan! Well done, sir!”

Ivan rubbed the freshly-buzzed back of his head and grinned. “He actually already had the furs, I just made the armored parts.”

“I meant all of it,” I admonished softly, waving at his work throughout the event.

“Antique, yeah?” Conor asked, gesturing to the furs both of them were wearing.

To his credit, Jokul scoffed. “Absolutely not. Quality synthetic.”

“Don’t let Hannah find out.”

A silver brow arched high enough to impress even Tyche. “Who do you think I commissioned?”

“Clever boy.” I winked at Ivan, eliciting a grin.

In response, Ivan did a runway-twirl, his fur kilt flaring just slightly. “What do you think, Councillor? Can I pull it off?”

With the cheekiest grin my soul could ever manifest, I stared him down. “I think I am the wrong person to ask that.”  Even in the dim light, I could see Jokul’s face turn bright red.

“I smell goat,” Maverick interrupted, entirely off topic and completely unabashed.

Ivan’s nose twitched. “Oh, you’re right!” Sniff, sniff. “And it’s on a spit! Let’s find it before it’s gone!”

With that, he snagged Jokul’s wrist and dragged him less like he was an easily two-hundred pound man and more like he was a kite.  When I snickered, my former enemy leaned over and murmured “I like the chains, very nice touch.”

I shook the wrist that connected to Conor’s belt and whispered conspiratorially. “Your idea, really.  You were so convinced I was leading the entire Ark like this…”

He had the decency to snort. “Seeing it in reality, I was a complete idiot. But it’s quite poetic, and I like it.”

“Poetic?” I asked as I tried to keep pace in the six-inch heels I had elected to wear.

“Are they chaining you down, or are you leading them by their gonads? Or, perhaps, are they saving you from yourself?” He gave a very pointed look at the delicate chains going from the shackles on my wrists to the links attached just above Maverick’s and Conor’s hips.

“Saving me, definitely.” My confession was unashamed and completely sober, the result of the primal music and smells surrounding me.

“Gods agree, someone needs to.”

I didn’t have time to argue before we arrived at the source of the enticing smell - a Jamaican barbecue vendor, who had oxtails, saltfish, and…

“Grilled goat!” Ivan crowed triumphantly. As he started handing out portions from the dancing, grinning vendor, he raised an eyebrow when he noticed that the portion he tried to hand to me was intercepted by Maverick first, and then fed to me rather than feeding myself.

“Not my idea,” I managed around an insanely delicious bite. “Swear.”

“Kink tomato,” he insisted, holding up his hands.

Conor almost choked laughing. “Not our kink either, mate. Just set dressing for the Queen over here.” Taking another bite, he winked at me.

“Ah, Conor’s idea then,” Jokul nodded sagely before erupting in the closest thing to a girlish squeal I could imagine coming from him. “Miss Harper, we’ve been looking for you!”

Shit, I thought to myself. I hadn’t thought of what Charly would say when I discussed this idea with Conor and Maverick, and I was just realizing it was a monumental oversight.  Plastering a smile on my face, I turned in the direction Jokul had shouted - 

Only to be confronted with what looked like a fox with antlers, a rakish Anansi, the Queen of the Dead, a blind healer, and… a walking shrine? I wasn’t sure what exactly Arthur was dressed as, but I could clearly identify a shabby tweed suit, his sword, a tome that I hoped was faux-moldy, breastplate, shin guards, along with various tchotchkes that looked like they came from high-schoolers and were a bit too beat up to be faked.

“Arthur, what are you?” I asked. Where anyone else would find it rude, I knew my bluntness would be either appreciated or ignored entirely.

“The Ghost of Classes Past.” He swept into a near-Shakespearen bow, gesturing at the bits and bobs that adorned him. “Humans protect, and we mourn those we could not to ensure they live on in memory.” The thump of the music did not change, but his costume gave it a sepulchral tone, like a dying heartbeat.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, the antlered fox bounced familiarly before looking at the Queen of the Dead. “You did a fantastic job on their costumes! They look amazing!” Her antlers were, of course, somehow illuminated from below, but damn me if I could figure out how.

Despite the fact that I knew damned well that Tyche wanted to erupt into laughter at the suggestion, she managed to, quite impressively, tamp it down to a savage smile of silver fangs and blood-red lips. Flapping a hand at myself, Conor, and Maverick, she gave her bell-like fake-laugh, fully in character. “Oh, I had nothing to do with this. Darling Sophia and her merry toys conceived it all on their own.  This is the first time I’ve even seen it, darling.” She turned to me, tipping her chin down in respect. “Well done, dearest sister.” Tyche was on peak display, with kohl lining her glowing grey eyes, a black bodysuit covering her from  collar to feet, fitted vest and cardigan vest, all partnered with a skirt that could be ten inches thick or ten miles of ribbon - who knew with all the darting and layers? Not me, but I was surely impressed with what looked like ten miles of black feathers flowing from her waist to her hips.

“Why, thank you, Your Majesty.” I swept my leg back in a daring curtsy, forcing Conor and Maverick to smother their laughter at Jokul and Ivan’s faces.

“Ma’am! Ma’am ma’am ma’am!” Charly demanded as she pulled me upright. “You blushed at the concept of kink night, and here I find you leading your men around by their hips!”

I tossed my hair and winked at Jokul. “They aren’t being led, they are saving me from myself.” To Charly’s credit, I did look one deep breath from embarrassment - a black dress with red trim, sliced from floor to ribs and collar to navel, over what appeared to be just fishnet stockings and cavalier boots. The only thing, visibly, retaining any sort of deceny was the corset sealing me in the dress. To go with it, I sported chunky, silver cuffs chained to both Maverick and Conor. Ducking in, I whispered, “I probably will have to be cut out of this bodysuit, no worries on me flashing anyone.”

“Ooooo… well played, madam, well played,” she cheered, twirling me around, forcing both men to pivot with me, laughing, before  giving me a very concerned look. “How fucking tall are those?” This was clearly directed at my heels, which she was staring at like a shark presented with a steak.

“Six,” I admitted. “But I did pointe ballet for a little while, so… This isn’t that bad.”

Maverick ducked into the center of the circle we formed. “They’re a full size too big to allow for swelling and she has the toe boxes lined with impact foam.”

“How the hell else am I supposed to wear these things?” I asked with a glare that had him standing ramrod straight and barely restraining a laugh.

Tyche, to her credit, patted my shoulder. “While sitting.  Or, if you have to stand, with a platform in the toe.”

“No shit,” I hissed, setting the mummified healer doubling over in laughter. “But I’ve done enough damage to my feet, thank you, so… there may be foot braces involved.” One of which was currently digging in just in front of my heel, which I made a mental note to pass on to the development team.

A thick, French accent set me shaking my head when it came from the very-not-French looking mummy. “Well played, Sophia.  The sling and calf brace design I saw recently get approved by medical?”

I groaned as I realized that of course this was Antoine. Life and Death, forever partnered. “Yesssss,” I hissed. “Grey created the design.” I unzipped one boot down far enough to roll it below my knee, exposing braces above and below the kneecap before running further down. “The weight is distributed throughout the leg, before terminating across the front and back of the arch of the foot, to even out the pressure.”

I could almost see numbers whirling beneath the six-foot-plus candy-pink bowler hat. “That… sounds like it might actually be comfortable,” Coffey intoned. I couldn’t help but grin at the tilt of his hat and the feather arching behind him.

“More comfy than actual heels, yes,” I admitted before deflecting attention as far from me as possible. Which, considering how much weight was normally put on the ball of the foot in heels like this, wasn’t a lie…. “But we aren’t here for this! We’re here for food!”

Cheers erupted, and we set off dragging each other to what bits we had discovered.  The theme of the night was firmly set around protein, grilled if possible, with wicks of smoke dancing through the flickering light along with the thump of the music.  Some were spicy, others unexpectedly sweet. As I laughed, and ate, and sweated, and danced, I could freely admit that there was exactly zero percent chance that I would have imagined this in my wildest dreams. And even better? I could enjoy every second, every smell, every beat of the music. I made a point to wink at each camera I could spot, to the point that, first Tyche, and then everyone else felt the need to comically push down my thumbs-up and cover my face.

Clearly, Parvati and Hannah, who I hadn’t seen all night, were monitoring what they would later discover to be a flying pass on their final exam. 

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[victoriareyloficlists]

15 March 2021 Additions to Reylo Fluff

These fics have been added to the Fluff lists located in the following lists:

Fluff Part 1 Titles A-G

Fluff Part 2 Titles H-M

Fluff Part 3 Titles N-S

Fluff Part 4 Titlez T-Z

My Heart Like a Kick Drum by Zoa (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In need of a date to his parents destination vow renewal but not interested in a real relationship, Ben Solo turns to an acting service specializing in fake relationships for a temporary girlfriend. But as he gets to know Rey Niima over the course of the vacation, Ben finds himself reconsidering his outlook on love...) More Than a One-Night Stand by Eskayrobot, Poaxath (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's having a pretty shitty night, to be honest. From the creep at the bar to the...oh, this rescuer of hers is pretty nice. And very attractive. And maybe he smelled really good, too.) lay all your love on me by akosmia (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben doesn't really think much of himself, and Rey is determined to change his mind.) Got a Feeling we Should Just Go Home by slugmutt (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Spending the week before Christmas with sullen deputy-CEO Kylo Ren is the last thing on earth Rey wants to do. Going back to his hometown with Christmas-loving Rey in tow is the last thing Kylo wants to do. But with a little help from family, some holiday magic, and a stray blizzard or two, they might start seeing things differently.) Lightning Glass by Weddersins (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: Force-users don't like to consume alcohol because it lowers mental shielding. Too bad the Resistance's entire supply of juice fermented. Better not let it go to waste. Meanwhile, Kylo Ren wakes up with Rey booping his nose and giggling. He is Very Confused.) New Beginnings by reylocalligraphy (AO3 2018  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Ben comes home for the first time in five years, it happens to be Thanksgiving dinner. He’s surprised to meet a girl who’s working for his father… an odd girl his parents seem strangely fond of.) The Unintended Consequences of Single-Seater Cockpit Designs by ItsALilah (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: After Crait, Rey vowed to never, ever stick her head out for Kylo Ren again. Unfortunately, she's got marching orders from Poe Dameron of all people to save the Resistance's newest ally, who just happens to be Kylo Ren, and of course, those rescue plans predictably go to Hell. Meaning Rey's not just stuck with Kylo Ren, but sharing an uncomfortably confined space with the newly deposed Supreme Leader. A space that was definitely not designed to fit more than one person.) In Full Bloom by deedreamer (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When high school teacher Rey Kanata gets flowers with a cryptic message, she freaks out, thinking she's being hit on by one of her students. On a mission to find out who sent the flowers, she meets Ben Solo -- single dad and owner of the little florist down on Main Street. When the flowers turn out to be a delivery error, Rey knows her job's no longer at risk. But what she doesn't know is that she's about to fall head over heels for the man who keeps sending her flowers day after day because he's a goner for her, too...) Degrees and Galaxies by Pawprinter (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben could think of numerous other things he would rather be doing than spending an afternoon working on a paper. That all changes when he bumps into Rey. Maybe spending the day at the coffee shop isn't the worst way to spend his time.) A Reylo Christmas Carol by Crackedkybercrystal (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: "Before the dawn," Hux intoned, "you will be visited by three spirits. Heed their message Kylo Ren, least you end your days like me." It was only now that Kylo perceived his old partner to be bound with a great chain around his waist, weighed down by heavy blocks.) Of Penmanship and Discourse by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 35 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey Kenobi's professor and advisor, Luke Skywalker, refuses to give constructive criticism or facilitate workshops for his students, she decides to seek help else where. Ben Solo (or if you read his published work, Kylo Ren) is on the brink of insanity. The literary magazine he is editor for is racing off in a new direction-- and is leaving him questioning both its morals and his love for writing. To find his intellectual and creative needs met, he decides to turn to the internet. A PenPals AU no one asked for.) The Set-up by CajunSpice714 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo has aways been socially awkward, but when he sets his sights on his brother Poe's fiance Finn's bestfriend Rey during an engagment party Poe decided that he and Finn need to divise a plan to set the two of them up if not for the sake of his and Finn's future wedding then for the sake of their own sanity.) From R to Kylo by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey are archaeologists who absolutely cannot stand each other. They also happen to be pen pals, but they don't know who the other is, until one night they get trapped together at a creepy excavation site, and suddenly their hatred begins to unravel.) How You Turn My World, You Precious Thing by BensLostTookaCat (VillainTheBlank) (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: He's the hotshot asshole who leads The First Order, the legal arm of The Resistance. She's the new company liaison who has been assigned to The First Order to keep them accountable.The annual Resistance Masquerade Ball is about to turn Kylo and Rey's worlds upside down.) If You Change Your Mind (I'm the First in Line) by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben hates watching his best friend/roommate Rey be unlucky in love. Finally, he decides to do something about it.) Take a Chance on Me by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey hates watching her best friend/roommate Ben go on date after date with no success. Eventually, she decides to do something about it. Or, 5 bad dates + 1 good one.) Haunted Corn Maze by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey bonds with her work buddy, Ben.) Zombie Run by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: During a charity run, Rey is relentlessly pursued by a zombie.) Eating for Two by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is pregnant and smells her neighbour Ben's cooking. She goes round to ask if he would be willing to share. But maybe Ben would like to share more than his cooking with Rey.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 56 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Hungry overworked Ben accidentally ends up in McDonalds. Guess what happens next?) weddings and wingwomen by bigfootsflannel (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After hiring Ben Solo as her wedding photographer, Rose discovers her true calling as part-time matchmaker.) when the stars collide by roguewn (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rose and Rey are debating the latest Space Skirmish movie. Rose insists a kiss was romantic and Rey jokes that it was a thank-you-for-saving-me kiss. Rose dares her to kiss the next guy who holds the door open for her.) Fall Into the Dark Side by CaliforniaQueen (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is a lonely comic shop owner. Ben is the equally lonely comic book writer Rey has been crushing on for years.) Something About November Chapter 11 by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is leaving First Order Enterprises for her dream job at Resistance Inc. On her last day, she gets a cake and a card with farewell messages from her department-there's an anonymous message among them, confessing to a secret crush.) Something Missing by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: An angst-free AU where Ben takes his kid to work and loses track of him only to find him eating contraband candy with Rey from IT.) A Doggy Intervention by corpse_wife (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Interventions come in many different forms. Whether it's time, a place or occasionally, people, it's up to the universe to decide when two soulmates meet. In Ben Solo's case, the universe had a cruel sense of humor. For his intervention comes in the form of a German Shepard and his graceless brunette owner. Two things happened in the short span of a minute: 1.) Ben got tackled to the ground 2.) The dog had just swallowed his wedding rings) baby fever by cursebreakker (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey’s boss kylo basically has a heart of stone, he literally has a reputation in the offices as 'Satan’s right hand'. That is until Rey’s two year old daughter toddles up to him outside of work one day and he just completely melts.) My Roommate's a Virgin Vampire by jeeno2 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Niima answers an online ad from someone looking for a new roommate. Turns out he's a very weird, incredibly hot vampire with extremely outdated views on sex.) Toy Story XXX: The Legend of the Fainting Goat by andabatae (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has been thirsting after her next door neighbor, Ben Solo, for months. In a fit of sexual frustration, she purchases a sex toy with rave reviews—never expecting that when she uses it, Ben will mistake her screams of pleasure for cries of distress and break down her door to save her...) Wild Child by tmwillson3 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey spends her first Season in Bath with her best friend, Rose Tico. When Rose begins a hate-at-first-sight relationship with Sir Armitage Hux, Rey thinks that nothing more exciting could happen.That's when Sir Hux's friend, the Earl of Alderaan, and his dogs come crashing into Rey. Rey has never liked peers, but when she bonds with him on a rainy day, everything changes.) Dump Your Date for Prom by TypeSomeSenseToMe (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey asks Ben Solo to the Prom.) you're my boo by murakamism (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's neighbor Ben Solo is the only one who ever shows Halloween spirit around here. When she discovers he's moving out, she's only hurt because that means she won't have anymore competition... right? So she sets out on a plan to make him stay.) permanent calligraphy (your name on me forever) by theresonatinglight (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: As they continue to work together, two things become clear. One: Ben Solo is an enigma. He’s preppy yet humble, privileged yet introspective. He’s the opposite of lazy; she kicks herself every day for assuming otherwise. And two: Ben Solo will never love her.) Bespoke by L_awlietxoxx (AO3 2018  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is miserable, stumbling through his life in London without seeing much of anything. Then Christmas sneaks up on him, as does a little shop and a woman who makes custom ornaments to meet the needs of any heart. Suddenly, Ben sees everything.) Game Night by Melusine11 (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey goes to live with Finn to help her get on her own feet. She has an immediate connection with his roommate, Ben Solo. It all comes to a head during a rather intense game night.)

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 96

Chapter Summary -  Danielle and Tom go for lunch with Kenneth Branagh.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​​ @nonsensicalobsessions​​ @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​​ @fairlightswiftly​​ @salempoe​​​ @wolfsmom1​​​

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

“Ready?”

“Tom, I am having kittens, of course, I am not ready,” Danielle informed him as she walked up the steps of the central London hotel.

“Why do you say such peculiar phrases?” Tom laughed.

“It was either say that or go for a non-PG comment.” She stated.

“Fair enough, it does not make it any less odd of a statement.” He pulled her to him. “Kenneth is a lovely man, honestly, just be yourself, don’t fret and it will be fine.”

“He is the one that got you the Thor gig, isn’t he?”

“Yes, I was fortunate to get Wallander with him, then he directed Thor, he told me the job and I applied, as Thor, but as soon as he saw it was me, he gave me Loki’s script, and the rest, as they say, is history.” He grinned. “Wouldn’t it be odd if he is the one that gets you the ability to do as you wanted and work for yourself?”

“We’d owe him a lot.”

“Everything.”

“Not everything, I mean, if you did not put your heart and soul into Loki, then it would not have mattered, as it stands, your performance has made him the undeniable King of Marvel villains. You did that, but yes, without Branagh saying to take the script, it would all not matter.” She pointed out. Inhaling deeply, she stopped outside the restaurant. “Jesus, this is hard.”

Tom watched as she readied herself, breathing deeply to try and prevent her nerves showing. “Elle,” She looked at him. “You are incredibly dedicated and you have had nothing but amazing things said about you by your previous employers, you will do wonderfully at this.” He smiled encouragingly.

“I know, but this is big. I mean Game of Thrones is big, obviously, but a war movie, Tom, you did War Horse, think of that with more weapons, it’s going to be a logistical and hazard shit-storm, if I get it right, I am leapfrogging steps again, if I get it wrong, it is actually dangerous.” She paced slightly. “What is wrong with me, I was never this anxious before.”

“I don’t know, but you have no reason to worry, just breathe.” She did as he instructed. “Ready?” She nodded slightly. Taking her hand in his, Tom walked into the restaurant. The Maître d’ smiling politely at them as they did. “Branagh table.”

“Of course, Mr Hiddleston, this way.” The man brought two menus and a wine list and escorted the pair to a small alcove in the very corner of the restaurant, slightly hidden from the rest of the patrons.

There in the corner was Branagh, a thick file in front of him, as well as a tablet, looking over something. As though sensing someone was approaching, he looked up from his work. It took only a moment for him to recognise who it was and he rose to his feet. “Tom.” He walked around the table and embraced the younger man fondly. “How are you?”

“Great, it’s great to see you, you look well, what’s new with you?”

“Well, getting this off the ground.” He pointed to the file in front of him before looked to Danielle, “I can assume you are Ms Hughes?” he reached out to shake her hand, his face one of politeness and friendliness.

“Yes, thank you for considering me, Mr Branagh.” She took his hand and shook.

“You’re Irish?” He seemed somewhat surprised.

Remembering that she had read somewhere that his family came from the North during the Troubles, Danielle was worried for a moment that her Southern accent and nationality would be an issue. “Yes, Galway.”

“Lovely spot, went there on holidays a few times, especially Connemara, never could understand a word they said, most of it was in Irish, I loved it, never got to learn it though.”

“I grew up there, it’s taught from preschool when it’s all you hear six hours a day, it becomes second nature, I still do sums in Irish in my head.” She admitted, relieved that he seemed to be unbothered by her nationality.

“Fair dues, well, let’s order something to eat and talk business then, alright? Order whatever you want, the studio is paying.” He winked.

“Dangerous words.” Tom joked as he and Danielle sat down and looked at the menu. As soon as he read the first main course, he knew what Danielle would have, he smiled when he glanced to the side to see her focus on that order and none other.

“Stop, we could get you the side of a cow and you’ll still be as lithe as you are.” Kenneth dismissed. “There’s nothing on you. We were in Sweden, filming Wallander, and he put away a 14-ounce steak, honestly.” Branagh explained to Danielle.

“I remember, when I first came over, he was at his mam's, and I had cooked a lasagne, I cook big meals and freeze them, handier, and he polished off half a family-sized dish of it, then an hour later, I swear to God, comes in and grouses to his mum that he was hungry,” Danielle added.

Branagh nodded. “I’d well believe it. So, you know each a while then?” He looked between the pair interestedly.

“Six years.” Tom answered, “we finally only got our acts together back in October.”

“Well, better late than never,” Kenneth beamed.

The waitress arrived and both men paused for a moment, silently expecting Danielle to go first. She had read before that politely yet firmly assuming control was a coveted trait in set personnel of higher roles, so smiling courteously, she looked to the waitress. “May I have a goat’s cheese to start and then the duck, all the trimmings please and I am fine with just water, thank you.” The waitress took her menu, then looked to the men.

Tom grinned, knowing Danielle would never decline duck. He ordered his own food as well as a sparkling water before Branagh ordered his own.

“Good to see someone in film not afraid to actually eat,” Branagh commented. Danielle said nothing back, “I don’t mean that in an offensive manner.”

“I assumed not,” Danielle smiled. “My mother would go insane if she thought I had started starving myself.”

“All Irish mothers are prone to that.” Branagh agreed. “So,” he turned on the screen of the tablet. “The general premise, as you can imagine, is fairly simple, planes, tanks, guns and ships, ground soldiers and civilians; what I wanted to do, and that is why I was hoping for Lucas, but am very relieved he sent you to me since he is otherwise disposed of, is I want to perform a series of shot that incorporates the city bombings also. So…”

“St Pauls with the incendiaries, Balham station, the parts of London that nearly were burnt away, general destruction, and if I am not mistaken, you even mentioned Belfast and Dublin.”

“Yes,” Branagh beamed, elated that she seemed to get his idea. “You did your homework.”

“Didn’t need to, my father was an avid history lover and I spent most days he had a few hours off watching documentaries, willingly or otherwise.” She admitted. “I have to confess I still watch them now.”

“Brilliant, then you know the scale we are talking about.”

Tom knew a lot about film, RADA taught him more than just acting, it taught him a plethora of behind the camera work also, directing, producing, camera work, and such things, but what Danielle was talking about, the detail and her terminology made him realise he knew nothing of her job. He remembered the times stunt coordinators were working with him in different shows and movies, they were meticulous yet focused on the task, in truth, he rarely heard of safety officers before, they were simply just there. Danielle’s pace of talk and her focus on what Branagh had said he wanted showed she was incredibly capable and astute to the details of her job.

By the time the food came, Branagh had declared that he would have the studio send out her contract and that she need not worry about flights and accommodation, she was sorted where needed. “I am delighted that Lucas told me about you, you have no idea the sheer level of naysayers there are that will not even consider such ideas.”

“Probably frightened of the paperwork,” Danielle commented. She had noted such working with others, the loathed the paperwork, she thrived on it, used to having to go into detail with being a paramedic.

“I think so.”

“Excuse me a moment please.” Danielle rose from her chair and walked to the bathroom. She had not wanted to go, but she could tell that Tom was somewhat lost in the conversation that was taking place and she wanted to let him speak with his friend, so she went away for a moment to allow it to happen. Standing in front of the mirror in the women’s bathroom, she checked her hair and makeup. She had not done much, just put her hair back in a clip and made sure her face was somewhat tidy. She smiled at the outfit she had chosen, neat and yet not making her seem like she was in her fifties, Tom had looked at her with a surprised, yet approving smile when she came down after her shower before they left. Satisfied that she had left it long enough, she turned to return to the men.

"I don’t think I have heard of you being serious with someone since Thor,” Kenneth noted after Danielle left the room.

“I have not been,” Tom admitted.

“I take it she is someone very special then.”

Tom couldn’t help but smile. “She is.”

“How do you feel about her leaving for work?”

“What can I say, I was gone for three weeks not too long ago, I am leaving again in April and will be doing other work this year. It would be a tad rich of me to be against her leaving for work. Besides, you have not seen how hard she works, Danielle is dedicated to her work and loves it, I could never even consider asking her to stop and she would be the same. We have to juggle it, the same as everyone else in the business.”

“It’s not easy, but it can work; as long as you don’t do what I did and mess up,” Branagh warned. “I screwed up before.”

“Most everyone has,” Tom pointed out. “I spent so long pretending I didn’t love Elle, that I almost lost the chance to ever have her.”

“Well, it worked out in the end.” Branagh smiled. “Lucas Waters is a very hard man to get approval from, why do you think your girl has him ringing me demanding I take her?”

“Elle apparently made him feel foolish, she tore his work apart.”

“I am aware of that, but this is a closed shop Tom, our side of things has limited breakouts but behind the scenes, you have to all but sell your soul to breakthrough, what is it she has that made a man who has crushed many a dream and studio’s hearts ringing me and tell me no one else is worth my while?” Branagh looked to Tom for the answer. “What about her makes you want to be around her?”

“She is incredibly strong-willed, not in a stubborn manner, though she can be when needed, but when others would have shied away, she kept going. She is intelligent, as you have seen, she is an avid reader, so her knowledge about what you need for this movie, that is all her, no brown-nosing, she genuinely reads that much.”

“Shakespeare?” Branagh asked with a smile.

“Yeats, Shakespeare, Wilde, all of them and more, she will check the documentary channels long before she ever looks at anything else on TV other than sport. She has self- motivation, she does triathlons as well as work. When she injured her wrist at Christmas, she did not let that hamper her, she went straight to studying for this, in under two months, she went through a six-month course.” Branagh nodded. “She is an incredible person, she does not alter herself for others, the woman you have been sitting across from for the past hour is the same woman that will sit on the couch beside me later with our dog watching TV talking happily about the show she recorded last night at some obscure hour of the night.” Tom smiled as he recalled the excited squeak Danielle had made when something she wanted to watch was on late last night. “She is not afraid to be herself and sometimes that means not agreeing with you, she will fight for what she believes in, even if it means risking things she loves because it is right.”

Branagh noticed Tom swallow at that. “What did she do?”

“Made me see sense, but to do that, she had to risk everything, but she did it, hurting herself to do so.”

“It was worth it though.”

“I think so.” Tom smiled. “You won’t be disappointed, you’ll see that this Lucas guy saw, what other people she has worked with have seen. She is amiable, hardworking and will not disappoint, I promise.”

“Any woman that has you speaking about ‘our’ dog must be something serious and special.”

“Are you happy with what she is talking about?”

“I trust Lucas, I have worked with him for years when he said this is the person, I trusted his instincts, having met her, I can see she is incredibly able. Her line of work is male-dominated and she is better than most every one of them.” Tom smiled proudly. “So, how is Loki these days, I read he is coming out again this year?” Branagh asked, a smug smile on his face.

*

Tom parked the car in the driveway, they had said hardly anything since they had left the restaurant, but the mood was pleasant. He took the keys out of the ignition and looked at Danielle, who was staring straight ahead. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” she nodded, not looking at him. “Just daunted.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everything he wants, rubble, flooded tube stations, the weapons,” She started laughing slightly. “I am going to go grey.”

“You will not, you heard him, you will have your own team.”

“I cannot believe I am heading a team,” she shook her head in disbelief before the smile fell from her face. “What if they don’t respect what I say because I am a woman?”

Tom’s brows knitted together. “You know that’s not going to happen; if it does, there are protocols to go through.”

“I know,” she leant in against him “I am just wondering how I will make their murders seem like an accident.”

Immediately Tom started laughing. “Yes, that can be bothersome.” He kissed her temple. “Come on, Mac is not best pleased.”

Looking at the window, the pair laughed at the indignant look on Mac’s face inside the sitting room, looking out at them. “No, he does not, he probably wants to go to the bathroom.” Danielle got out of the car and went into the house, Mac dancing around her feet, leading her to the back door, where he stared between it and his owner, trying to explain to her his issue. “Alright buddy, here you go.” She opened the door and Mac ran out immediately. Shaking her head as she closed it again, she walked to the hallway just as Tom closed the front door. “The poor guy was bursting.” Tom rushed forward, putting his arms around Danielle’s waist before kissing her almost ferociously. “What has gotten into you?” She smiled against his lips.

“You are incredible.” Tom pulled her right in against him. “So fucking incredible.” His voice almost three octaves lower as he kissed her again.

“Did me talking shop turn you on?” Danielle seemed to realise what it was that had Tom so frisky.

“Mmhmm….” His hands made their way towards her ass, hoisting her up as he pressed them into the hallway wall. “You know I have a thing for your incredible brains.”

Part of Danielle was about to make a quip about Swift, but she decided it was not worth it and thought of something far more pleasurable instead. “Bedroom?”

“We haven’t christened the hall.” Tom reminded her.

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/astrology-forecast-july/

ASTROLOGY FORECAST JULY

ASTROLOGY FORECAST JULY

By Michael Lennox

July is a complex month. Not quite as intense as June, but almost. We move into July with Mercury retrograde, and Venus retracing her retrograde steps. We are still in the eclipse wormhole, and the New Moon this month is also a lunar eclipse. Mercury will go direct in the middle of the month, and toward the end of July, Venus and Mercury will wrap their retrograde cycles up on the exact same day. The outside world is being transformed mightily this year, but so is the internal experience of every person on the planet, and that discombobulating experience absolutely continues in the month ahead.

We start July in Cancer season, where self-care, and coming home to the Self with a capital S is the name of the game. This season is ruled by the Moon; moody, changeable, cyclic in nature, and deeply emotional. Cancer is the first water sign, so it is where we get introduced to our feeling mechanism, and where we get in touch with what our emotions have to tell us about who we are, and where we are in our journey through consciousness. This is where we rest, reset, and prepare to take on the world, but later on down the line, after the restoration is complete.

Right as the month gets going, we have the Capricorn Full Moon on July 5th. This is the third and final eclipse of what was one of the most intense eclipse wormholes we have ever moved through. As a Full Moon, it is designed for great release. Cancer is where we find restoration and preparation, and through Capricorn, we take our personal resources and offer them to the world. Capricorn energy is about climbing to the highest vantage point that our conscious awareness will allow; that is the true purpose driving the goat up to the top of the mountain. Consider how much you may have discovered while Venus was retrograde ways that you inhibit your ability to give and receive love. Let the power of this Full Moon help you release absolutely anything and everything that inhibits your ability to open up to more love.

Mercury went retrograde last month, and on July 12th, he will turn around and move forward once again. That means the first part of July finds us in this discombobulating cycle where the mind that helps us navigate through life is focused on the inner landscape. The third act of this cycle is where communication issues and other stuff brought up in his backward movement gets wrapped up. From the 12th through the 27th, we will be revisiting things that we may have bumped into while Mercury was moving backward in late June and early July.

Saturn will retrograde back into Capricorn after spending a few months in Aquarius. It’s as if the Great Teacher thought we were ready to move in the direction of a more caring world (Aquarius), but realized there were more structures (Capricorn) that need to be destroyed. On July 1st, he heads back into Capricorn, where he will join up with Pluto and Jupiter again, which happens in November; more change coming. On the 16th, he passes through a second Inconjunct with the North Node, which is the fork in the road the entire planet has been using to move away from the old world and into the new. In this way, July is one of the months where you can expect some more deconstruction of life as we used to know it.

The first lunation in a while that is not an eclipse is the New Moon in Cancer that takes place on the 20th. Setting intentions in the Cancer mansion are all about the needs of the Self. There is a tremendous amount of background energy in this New Moon, including an exact Opposition with Saturn, making this a moment to take radical responsibility for all that you are creating in your life, including anything and everything you wish weren’t happening. Mars and Chiron will Square Mercury as part of this New Moon, so we are informed by the wounds we are healing, and there may be some very challenging conversation to move through as we seek to mend a very troubled past, while simultaneously having to create a new future on the fly.

On the 22nd, we move into the Leo mansion, and self-care gives way to leadership. In the Leo mansion, we are in consideration of our personal sovereignty, and the power of creative expression. The force of the Sun itself (Leo is ruled by the Sun) is what we begin to work with in this mansion, and we each get to step into where that sense of leadership lives within each of us. The relationship between Leo and Capricorn, the sign where all the change and transformation is taking place, is the 150-degree angle that is sometimes called the Great Eliminator. As we move through this mansion, we are all being asked to lift our sense of Self up, while allowing outdated and outmode structures to fall away for good. Yes, more of that, I’m afraid.

In a very difficult year, there is one triple transit that is one of the saving graces for us all, especially those who are walking a spiritual path. Jupiter is all about expansion and abundance, but his ruling sign of Sagittarius includes the trek of the spiritual seeker. Neptune is the Great Spirit archetype itself. Put these together in the productive and creative 60-degree geometry of the Sextile, and we have a thread of energy that, if we pick it up and work with it, can deepen our spiritual connection in a huge way. In a year of so much chaos and change, the only real comfort we can generate will be through practicing radical acceptance of all that is occurring. And of course, practicing radical acceptance is easy and graceful, but only when we put our spiritual connection above all else.

The Sextile described above takes place on the 27th. Turns out, that is a key date for a number of reasons. Venus started her retrograde process in May, Mercury followed suit in June. And though they have very different cyclical timing, both of their cycles wrap up on the exact same date; July 27th. That is just wildly synchronistic, and ultimately, quite auspicious; heart and mind really being transformed in us at the individual level. Now throw in the fact that the only real helpful transit of the year (Neptune/Jupiter described above) hits on the same date, and we’re really cooking with gas. Now add one more little synchronicity. Mars will be going retrograde in Aries later this year (September). But his retrograde shadow, the first part of every retrograde cycle where the planet is moving forward over territory it will retrace three times in total, starts this month. And what is the date that that Mars shadow cycle begins? July 27th. More about that in next months’ forecast. But I will leave you with one of my favorite tropes: You simply can’t make this shit up.

*******

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[morris-magus-merry-miller]

Chapter 2: Goddess in the Glade

Our band of valiant adventurers set out that very same day on the road to Port Town. As we traveled, Candy and I compared notes, for it happened we had something in common—a love of the culinary arts. She traveled the land with a rickshaw, set up with implements for cooking, baking, and keeping her finished products heated or cooled. It’s quite the astounding set up, one I would love to copy if not for my small legs. I don’t think Nathaniel would appreciate being asked to lug around such a thing either. So alas it must remain but a dream, however while we venture together she has agreed to let me bake our group treats in the mornings while the others prepare their various morning spell rituals and such and such.

I was originally going to go with a classic—croissants—but then Candy and I discovered that Vigo had never had any sweets before. In his life! Ever! Can you imagine? I certainly cannot, even with my vast and boundless imagination, it boggles the mind! So Candy and I were in agreement that our first order of business had to be introducing Vigo to the many wondrous treats this world had to offer.

I consider myself to have quite the knack for cookies and cakes, while Candy makes quite an astounding pie. Between the two of us, I am certain we will round out Vigo’s experience with the many flavors of baked goods available.

On our second day of travel, John and I stopped for some…necessary relief, let’s say. The two of us made for an area deeper in the woods, to be certain we were out of sight of the road to avoid any embarrassing mishaps.

There we met the most fascinating and beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes upon in my many years of life. The two of us came upon a small woodland glade, a beautiful peaceful place where the sun filtered down through the trees upon a small stream. Before the river, the being was kneeled, drinking. As we accidentally stumbled upon her, she turned to face us.

She was humanoid, in a manner. Her upper body was much like a human woman, although quite a bit taller than most humans—taller, I think, than even Issac. She towered above myself and John. She had long black hair that flowed down her back, framed by two mis-matched horns—one that appeared to be a stag’s, and the other a rhino’s, but upon the side of her forehead like the stag horn. Upon her back were four wings, as mis-matched as her horns. A wasp’s, a butterfly’s, a whippoorwill’s, and a dove’s. Between them all sat a deadly looking scorpion’s tail. Her legs were not humanoid, but were more like that of a satyr. One was a goat’s, and the other a zebra’s.

The strange beauty greeted us, and introduced herself as Elpida. When she extended a hand to shake, it was a lioness’ paw, and her other hand was a hound’s. She was pleased that we were willing to stay and talk, rather than fleeing at her unique visage. For his part, John seemed about ten seconds away from asking her on a date. I was just content that she was willing to let me write this meeting, and even created an illusionary visage of herself standing in place so that I might sketch her—as you will see below.

Elpida was without a doubt the most fascinating creature I have ever laid eyes upon. She told us that each piece of her mis-matched visage was a gift from one of the major gods. The wings, from Calistria, Desna, Pharasma, and Sarenrae. A set of spider arms she could summon on command were from Norgerber. Her eyes, when she leaned forward enough for me to clearly see her features, had irises red and segmented like a fly’s, which were from Urgathoa. Her form was stuck as it was due to Zon’Kuthon, whose gift made it impossible for her to use any polymorph type magics that could change or disguise her striking figure into something less noticeable.

When I asked if she was some kind of goddess herself, she answered no—she was closer to a psychopomp. A rare and unique psychopomp who was not hidden from mortals as such beings normally are, and who had been granted miraculous powers from the various major deities of our world.

I think I can rightly say John and I stumbled upon the rarest of stories today. While we may never see her again, this meeting will be etched into my mind for the rest of my days. And I have written every detail with as much accuracy as I could muster while being quite stunned by this being’s very existence.

Author’s note: suck it, I got a description of a rare and powerful almost never before seen being and a first hand conversation with her, if that isn’t a grand part of a ‘most interesting story ever told’ I don’t know what is!

Note to self: Remove author’s note from final draft and do not taunt the devils you are trying to impress, you idiot.

 Elpida asked what brought us to these travels, and withdrew a tad when we mentioned Dualwood. It turned out she was familiar with the dragonfly man, whose name she revealed was Ulong, and she was aware of what he had done to the town. He had come to her first, once upon a time, asking if it was possible to do. She kept making excuses for him, that he has his reasons for why he’s doing what he did, but also said she found it understandable that we were angry if those John cared about where in that town.

She left us in a hurry, with well wishes and a magical gift—a blessing of her own design that would allow us to ‘strike true’ in a time of dire need. Then as quickly as we’d come face-to-face with the mystical, she was gone, vanished with some teleportation magic or another.

  We met with the others back on the road and told them of what had happened. They’d felt the effects of the blessing as well, so it seemed Elpida had extended it to them as well. None of the adventurers amongst us had seen or heard of such a being before, but we were glad to have stayed on her good side.

Thus we set off on the road once more in high spirits. The next day we were to arrive at Port Town fairly early. However just in time for a quick snack, we came upon a newly opened WcGronalds. We debated whether or not to go in, but upon discovering that Vigo had never had ice cream before Candy and I insisted that we go. After all, we lacked the means to make ice cream ourselves. We may well have missed our only opportunity to introduce Vigo to it, and that would have been a grave and unforgivable tragedy.

It was strangely dark within. When Vigo pushed open the door, four clown ghouls spotted us and rushed for the door, their disturbingly large shoes honking with each step. Vigo—wondrous wizard that he is—didn’t even flinch at the sight. He let loose an inferno that encompassed all of the undead horrors, reducing them to ash without so much as blinking. The mighty goblin stood victorious, and was rewarded for his efforts by the WcGronald’s employees, who had hidden themselves safely within the freezer. Vigo was given all the ice cream he could eat, and they let Candy take the entire ice cream machine so that we might make frozen treats on our travels. An excellent boon for a job well done, if I might say so myself!

 It wasn’t long afterwards that we reached the illustrious and bustling city of Port Town. Here we parted ways with dear Amelia, who said we could always reach her with the Stones of Farspeech if needed.

Vigo, despite his glorious display against both the zombies and the gibbering mouther previously, seemed rather offput by the crowded city streets. He stuck close to us, positively buried in Gordon’s wooly fur.

 Note to self: maybe edit that out if this ever gets published. If Vigo reads it you’re a dead man. You’ve seen his magic. He’ll kill you with fire. And lightning. Fire-lightning.

Note to self 2: Can Vigo read?

 We went looking for an inn to rent some rooms to use as our base of operations as we looked for Ringwald. While we were at it, John parted ways for a time. He said he already had a place and needed to check in. We agreed to let him know which inn we ended up holing up in over the very incredibly useful Stones of Farspeech.

Not long afterwards Vigo pointed us in the direction of a lovely inn he spotted.

 Note to self again: Obviously Vigo can read, he transcribes scrolls all the time, and he must have read the inn’s sign. That was a very rude assumption on my part, although it is true that many goblin tribes believe that writing can steal your soul so it isn’t a completely uncalled for assumption…

 We approached the innkeeper, a lovely woman named Paige Sterling, right as she was kicking out a hooligan who apparently used to have a permanent room, but who had abused his privileges one time too many. Paige offered us his room at a discounted rate to teach the foolish rabble-rouser a lesson. Candy tossed her a platinum rather than a gold, and in exchange the delightful young woman offered to give us all rooms instead of being cramped up in the single room she’d originally offered. Her only catch was that Peanut and Gordon needed to be stabled, as there wasn’t room for a bear and a ram in the inn, but she offered a ticket which she told Vigo and Issac to show the stablehand, which would get them a free stay on the house.

With rooms secured we asked Paige if she’d seen anyone new in town who matched Ringwald’s description. She hadn’t, but she pointed us in the direction of one Captain of the Guard Terrance Gladshire, who may have heard something she had not. I took the initiative and informed Vigo, Issac, and John that we would be departing the inn to speak with the captain, and to meet us there. Yet somehow Candy and I reached the guard’s station at the same time as Vigo and Issac. John did not arrive until later, when we were already speaking with Sir Terrance Gladshire.

Terrance was a young man, whom the guards below him didn’t seem to give quite the respect he deserved. From the word around town, crime was virtually non-existent with Terrance leading, yet those under him treat him much like a child they get a kick out of teasing. It would seem one of his parents was in the position before him, and the older guards knew him when he was younger, so the view of him as the captain’s ankle biter hadn’t quite faded from memory as of yet.

 Regardless, we met with the captain, who told us that Cleric Ringwald had been in their custody until recently. She had come seeking sanctuary, believing she would be safe under the guard’s watch. They’d reluctantly agreed to lock her up—from the look of it the jail cells weren’t getting much use anyways. However the next morning she had vanished, with only a note left behind, indicating she had been taken to the Unbound Hollow, a series of caverns that used to be a tourist attraction until a tribe of Duergar moved in and people began disappearing in the area. Terrance felt there was reason to believe the Duergar were responsible for kidnapping Ringwald, as well as a number of his men. We knew what we had to do—the future of Dual Wood depended upon us finding Ringwald after all. Captain Gladshire offered us compensation should we be able to rescue his men while we were seeking the cleric, to which my companions heartily agreed.

 And so we set out, to the caverns a short walk from town. Before us loomed the dread Unbound Hollow. The mighty adventurers readied themselves to enter the cavern, with certainty in our hearts that we would find and rescue the captive cleric, and return the world to its rightful order. And with that, we stepped into the cavern.

 ...

 ...

And immediately fell through a trap waiting for us within the entrance.

[hati-skoll]

Let Me Fill You(r Prompt)

Written for the @ignoctsecretsanta for @battle-goats I’m so sorry this is so late! The ending might be a little abrupt, I’ll probably update it in a bit, but I wanted you to have something first!

[AO3]

Noctis rips open a bag of enoki mushrooms. He gallantly pounds a clove of garlic into submission. Then he manfully wrestles an onion apart and accordingly cries himself a river, because what the fuck am I even writing I don’t even know someone save me.

Unfortunately, the astrals aren’t capable of sending down bolts of inspiration the way they’re wont to do with lightning. Noctis gets only so far before he admits to himself that he’s in over his head with this hilariously pitiful attempt at writing food porn. It’s… very… uninspired. He squints at the three sentences he’s typed, they’re… uh, well… alright, they suck. It sucks. How does one prepare food… sexily?

He tries to picture in his mind how Ignis works the kitchen, how his painfully suave advisor deftly slices up slabs of meat, a comfortable grip on the knife's handle; how he expertly kneads dough, muscles taut along his forearm; how he handles that intimidatingly large iron wok he keeps on the top shelf of Noctis’ kitchen, flicking his wrist with an enviable grace that Noctis will probably never muster in this lifetime.

“Hey, buddy, what'cha doing?”

Noctis very nearly tosses his phone out the window, but catches himself at the last minute so it instead clatters noisily where it lands on his desk. He hears someone cooing over his disastrous, ‘adorkable’ lack of hand-eye coordination from outside the classroom.

Prompto blinks, before plopping into the seat in front of his. “Uh, okay. Was gonna ask if you wanna head by the arcade later, but you look busy.”

“It's just this Thing.”

Promp glances down at the phone, then back up at Noctis. “Thing.”

“You know,” Noctis sighs, half-aggrieved as he makes a vague hand gesture that's supposed to mean sad-attempt-at-writing-food-porn-featuring-himself-and-his-ridiculously-handsome-charming-chivalrous-competent-all-round-amazeballs-advisor, “The Thing.”

“Oh!” Prompto exclaims, “The Secret-”

“Thing. Yes, the Secret Thing that no one should ever find out I was involved in.”

“Right. Gotcha,” Prompto nods, deadly serious, “Secret Thing.”

Noctis looks back down at his phone, re-reads his pathetic three lines and resists the urge to face-plant into his desk. Why did he ever think it was a good idea to sign up for this year’s Ignoct secret santa? Okay, so maybe he’s been furtively lurking in the fandom for ages — ever since he overheard a couple of girls whispering about it in phys ed class.

He still remembers their incredibly unlikely hypothesis about Iggy bending him over the gym bleachers, which is... hot as hell, but unlikely. Public sex is just not going to be on the table with his advisor. Because ‘that would be a recipe for disaster, Noct, can you imagine what the press would cook up?’ He’s not even sure if sex is ever going to be on the table — both figuratively and literally.

His dining table is definitely large enough to accommodate some spontaneous fucking, but… he’s obviously been looking at too much PWP lately. And it’s not like he’s going through these incredibly detailed imaginings of him and his advisor just to get off. Not really. Well, he gets off to them sometimes. Rarely. Once a week. Seriously, these artists and authors come up with extremely creative scenarios— That’s not the point.

The point is, It’s kind of heartening to know that somewhere, out there, there are a lot of other someones, random someones who aren’t Promp, rooting for him and Iggy and his stupid, hopeless crush. And it sort of… gives him hope, you know. Makes him feel like it might actually be possible, like they might actually work, if he could just work up the courage to ask Iggy out. One day.

“Just kill me,” Noctis says, unfortunately aloud.

“Woah, woah. Aren’t you, like, not supposed to joke about suicide in public?”

That’s right, he’s not. “It’s a euphemism.”

“Uh,” Promp does the awkward half-laugh that generally functions as an indicator for Noctis to shut up before he shoves that foot further into his mouth, “I don’t think that’s how euphemisms work.”

“It is if whatever I’m thinking of is worse than dying.” Yeap, he’s swallowing that foot. Whole. There’s probably an Ignoct fic about foot fetish somewhere.

“Are you allowed to say that?” Promp whispers, loudly — loud enough for the guy three tables down to not-so-inconspicuously don headphones in an attempt to give them an illusion of privacy.

Which is how they end up relocating to the roof, like every other highschool cliche out there. And Noctis half-feels like the school bully, because unlike every other highschool cliche, there’s actually a decent number of people on the roof, who... promptly make themselves scarce when Noctis and Prompto show up — and look, they’re obviously not leaving because of Promp. He’d have to be more delusional than maybe-my-too-perfect-advisor-slash-childhood-playmate-might-actually-like-me-back to think that anyone’s escaping because of Promp .

“So… nice and quiet here,” Promp says, after the last of them has filed out.

“Mmghf.”

“Very… zen,” Promp continues, “Zen’s good for inspiration, right?”

It’s not working for his. “Maybe?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so either,” Promp sighs deeply in commiseration, “Hey, you could always write a smutty one-shot about Iggy and you getting hot and heavy up here. Can’t go wrong with hot roof sex.”

“We’ve fucked on the roof dozens of times,” well, in fics, “Also why would Iggy be in our school?”

“Because… Oh! Because he’s your alpha and you’ve gone into heat, so the school clinic rung him to pick you up. And then because you’re oozing omega pheromones, Iggy loses control and drags you up here to have his sordid way with you.”

“I’m not writing an ABO,” a beat, “Why am I an omega?”

“I can’t see Iggy being an omega, have you seen the thing he does with his knives?”

“He cooks .”

“I’m gonna have to stop you there, buddy, that sorta alpha-omega-stereotyping is uncalled for.”

“What?”

“You can’t just say Iggy’s an omega because he cooks.”

“That’s not what I— They’re not even real!”

“Yeah, and so isn’t Santa,” Promp proclaims, “But look where we are, in the middle of a Secret Santa. I rest my case.”

Noctis lasts for all of three seconds before the incredulity of it all gets to him and he shoves his awful best friend. “I’m not bearing any babies for Iggy.”

“Pups,” Promp corrects, very seriously, before he cracks up too.

They’re both giggling like desperate F2Ps after a godly gacha roll and Noctis is feeling slightly better about his trainwreck of food-kink fic, which is why he makes the incredibly questionable decision of showing Promp his Work-In-Progress. Prompto blinks at it owlishly for several seconds. And Noctis regrets everything.

“It’s not bad,” Promp declares determinedly, after several more seconds of owlish blinking.

“It’s bad.”

“It’s not! It’s… evocative. That’s good.”

“Noctis rips open a bag of enoki mushrooms,” Noctis reads aloud, “He gallantly pounds a clove of garlic into submission. You winced. Right there.”

“I was empathising with the clove of garlic!”

“Then he manfully wrestles—”

“Okay, okay, stop,” Promp says with a shaky breath, “Maybe… Maybe it could be better. Why are you… manfully wrestling an avocado?”

“An onion. I’m manfully wrestling an onion, because that’s what it says in this really detailed recipe forkingandspooning114 included in the prompt. In which I’m supposed to prepare a meal for Iggy — sexily — and amaze him with my — sexy — cooking prowess, after which we have a hot dinner — and hotter sex.”

“A cereal food fetishist, huh.”

“Yeah, the wurst case I’ve come across,” Noctis makes a face, “There are fifty pages worth of recipes. It’s practically a cookbook.”

“Yikes,” Promp scrolls down to look at recipes. “That’s… hold up. Wait. I have an idea.”

Noctis isn’t sure if he likes that glint in Promp’s eyes but he nods anyway for his best friend to continue.

“Why don’t you ask Iggy for advice?”

“Ask Iggy for advice on seducing him with my non-existent sexy cooking skills?”

“Hypothetically,” Promp says, “And he doesn’t need to know about the seducing. Not when he sexy-cooks naturally, you know, according to you. You can just ask for a demonstration or something, for the recipes. And... maybe bring an extra serving for me tomorrow?”

Well... Noctis mulls, it isn’t a half-bad idea, even if it’s as obvious as Uncle Ardyn’s purposefully obtuse — and painfully cringey — misuse of teenage slang, that Promp’s suggestion is more or less motivated by his stomach. Noctis shrugs at his best friend, plays it cool because it’s kinda ridiculous that his future with Iggy is now at the mercy of Promp’s stomach. “Huh. I’ll think about it.”

He pretends not to see Promp’s little victory jiggle as they make their way down the roof.

*

He’s still trying to figure out how to ask Specs for a cooking demonstration without sounding really suspicious — and also without hurting Iggy’s feelings, because asking Iggy to work with another person’s recipe is just… kinda in bad taste when he takes so much pride in his own.  Of course, the man of the hour is already in the kitchen, whipping up a batch of something-or-other that’ll taste like heaven and sin all wrapped into one, as Noctis steps into his apartment.

“Welcome home, Noct,” Iggy calls, and Noctis’ heart gives a traitorous little flutter because that was just so domestic — come to think of it, that domestic AU he's been following just updated earlier today, he’ll have to read it later, “Productive day at school, I hope?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, we did. Math.”

“That sounds truly invigorating.”

Noctis suddenly feels the need to defend his math class — which he totally did not spend brooding about his secret santa prompt. “Yeah? It’s supposed to lend us magnitude and direction.”

Iggy’s brows rise. “Ah, perhaps I should have said it was in-vector-ating instead?”

Noctis deigns that awful pun with a groan and plops himself down at the table, where Iggy’s delivering an entire tray of freshly baked pastries. He knows better than to snag a piece without Iggy’s go-ahead, though — after all, he’ll only end up with a scalded tongue and a disappointed talking-to from his advisor.

Iggy sets one aside on a plate, adding a generous helping of whipped cream. He looks strangely put together for someone who’s been working away at the kitchen, like does he even sweat? Noctis squints at his advisor’s dry, smooth, slightly flushed skin, so he nearly misses it when Iggy says, “You’re awfully tensed today. I don't suppose there's anyway I can be of service?”

Okay, wow, loaded question. “Uh. No. I mean. Yes. Sorta.”

“Well, you know I’m always happy to help, Noct. What do you need?”

No sex thoughts. Don't think sex thoughts. “I have this… recipe I need you to try.”

“Recipe,” Iggy repeats.

“From the internet,” technically, not a lie, “A-” friend of mine? He only has one friend, literally, one, “Promp. Yeah. Promp wanted to ask for your advice on a couple of recipes. Because... they've not been turning out too well for him, but he was too intimidated to ask in person.”

“Oh. Certainly,” Iggy seems to have bought into his fibbing, “I can take a look at them in my spare time.”

“No.”

Iggy blinks. “No?”

“He um wants a demonstration. Physical demonstration.”

“I can’t see how that’s achievable if he’s too intimidated to show up.”

“Yeah, so you can,” Noctis tries to recall how fic!him goes about asking Iggy favours, cooking demonstrations or otherwise, he seriously doesn’t remember ever being this tongue-tied in fics, “Demonstrate to me, how it’s done. And I’ll demonstrate to Promp.”

“You’ll demonstrate to Prompto,” Iggy’s spoon clatters onto the table, there’s a pause and then, “I’m not sure if that’s wise.”

You char a wok one time. “I just have to do whatever you do, right? Piece of cake,” Noctis says with a confidence he can only muster because he’s not actually going to do any cooking.

“I do hope his house is insured.”

Oh, come on. “His house will survive my cooking perfectly fine, Specs. Just show me. Please.”

Iggy pushes the whip-creamed pastry at him, and Noctis digs into the dessert, enjoying the perfect marrying of flaky, sugared crust and rich, chocolate ganache. Everything Iggy makes is perfect — well, not the vegetables, but... everything else. He watches for Iggy’s reaction, sees the exact moment his advisor capitulates in the set of his shoulders and that look of fond exasperation on his face… tempered by something… harder this time, something Noctis doesn’t quite recognise. But the emotion is gone in a flash, as Iggy says, “Well, I suppose I have my work cut out for me if I’m to make a decent cook out of you. You’d like to try one of these recipes out for dinner today, I presume?”

“Yeah,” Noctis quickly gets the document open, scrolls to the entry that’s titled, Creamy Fowl Saute, “This one.”

Iggy glances at it briefly. “Ah, a classic. And it looks remarkably similar to a recipe of mine. I think your pantry and refrigerator are well-stocked with what we need.”

“Cool,” Noctis says.

He finishes the pastry while Iggy preps his kitchen, magically conjures up ingredients and utensils from spaces he hadn't known existed in his cupboards. Then the stage is set, and the tart consumed, and Iggy’s considering him with a serious sort of look that Noctis will probably be flustered by if it didn’t exactly say how-do-I-get-you-to-not-burn-down-the-kitchen in subtext.

So instead he’s slightly miffed. “Can we get on with it, Specs?”

“Perhaps an apron before we commence?”

He’s not wearing an apron. “But I’m just observing.”

“Nonsense, you’re not going to learn anything by just observing,” Iggy somehow produces a second apron with a flourish, “I’d be loathe to see ‘Crown Prince Commits Arson’ on tomorrow’s seven-o-clock. And roll up your sleeves.”

“Why do I have to—” He nearly bites his tongue because Iggy’s thrown the apron over his head, and now Iggy’s arms are going around his waist in a pseudo-hug to secure the ties at the back. And hopefully, his expression is more coolly composed than astrals-save-me-my-crush-is-sorta-hugging-me-what-do-I-do mortified.

Iggy finally — unfortunately — steps away. “There we are,” a pause, and Iggy’s lips are twitching when he says, “I think this is a good look for you, Noct.”

“Shut up.”

They get started on the recipe, and Iggy puts him in charge of measuring the chicken broth and heavy cream. Noctis is proud to say he aced that, solid 5 out of 7. He’s great at pouring things into measuring cups. He’s kind of warming up to the idea of cooking, maybe, uh well, he’s not cringing away from the counter at least, but then Iggy puts a knife and an onion in his hands and suddenly it feels like they’ve jumped from tutorial mode to boss battle.

“Maybe you should do this,” he tells Iggy.

“You just have to chop the onion, Noct.”

“I’m allergic to onions. They make my eyes water.”

“That happens to everyone,” Iggy says, “And just think of it like it’s weapons training with Gladio. You’ve handled bigger blades than this.”

Noctis’ retort dies in his throat when he notices the unintended euphemism, his next words are out of his mouth before he thinks them through. “Well, maybe you should help me with this blade then. You know, correct my form, the way Gladio does at practice.”

Okay. Someone kill him. Now.

Thankfully, the disastrously cheesy line seems to fly over Iggy’s head, because he just nods at Noctis and says, “If you think it’ll help you.”

What? “Uh. Yeah?”

Which is how Iggy ends up getting into position behind Noctis, one hand over Noctis’ where he’s grasping the knife, the other carefully positioning the onion on the board. And Noctis is both congratulating and cursing at himself for his horrendous foot-in-mouth syndrome. “I’ve already peeled and washed it, so you can start by cutting it into two. Right through the root, but we don’t want to cut that off, lest the onion bleeds.”

Okay, he can feel Iggy’s body heat all the way down the line of his back and— “The onion bleeds?”

“Sulphuric acid, sulphur dioxide and hydrogen sulphide. The latter irritates our eyes.”

“Oh, okay.” Iggy is guiding his hand through the motion, creating an incision, then cleanly slicing through. “Wow. Okay, we’re done?”

He feels Iggy’s chest rumble in a gentle chuckle. “Not quite. Hold the onion like this. Use your knuckle to guide the knife, point it towards the root, and cut. That’s right. Nice, long strokes.”

Nice, long strokes, seriously?

“Not too deep,” Iggy tuts, “If I’d known you’d be so enthusiastic about cutting onions, I would have enlisted your help years ago.”

“I’m not,” Noctis objects, “I just want to—” finish this before I pop an awkward boner, “Get it right for Promp.”

Iggy abruptly releases his hand and of course Noctis stabs himself in the pinky in the next second. “Ouch, damn. Iggy, wha—”

“My apologies,” okay, now Iggy looks like he’s going to flagellate himself or something, “You’re bleeding, we’ll have to run that under the tap.”

“Specs, it’s not a big deal,” he tries to protest, but they’re evidently still running his pinky under the tap, “I’ve had worse cuts from chopstick splinters than this.”

“Your chopstick splinters were not of my doing,” Iggy pauses, “Were they?”

“No.”

Iggy heaves out a sigh that sounds like part relief and part dismay, like is he seriously going to blame himself for not inspecting every pair of disposable chopsticks that passes into Noctis’ hands? Noctis is about to say something, something reassuring hopefully, but then Iggy stops glaring at the tiny barely-a-quarter-inch cut like it’s a personal affront and looks up at him with a frazzled sort of smile — which is… wow, be still, heart, don’t fucking give me away with your loud thumping. Iggy clears his throat. “Perhaps you should sit the rest of the session out. And we ought to put a bandaid on that.”

“On this?”

They put a bandaid on it. Well, they kind of just swathe his pinky in a bandaid. Gladio is going to be absolutely merciless with his teasing if he sees it at training the day after. Thus, Noctis resolves to quietly ditch it in a couple of hours. And he tries to tell Iggy he’s perfectly fit to continue cooking, but Iggy’s starting to look sorta stressed out, so Noctis goes back to observing — the original plan, which kinda seems less fun now, but he gets to unabashedly eyeball Iggy so that’s a plus.

His advisor’s a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen, his actions quick, sure and precise. He’s efficient, the way he is with everything else in his — well, Noct’s — life. It’s kind of amazing to watch. And somewhere in the back of his mind, Noctis knows he’s supposed to be taking notes for his secret santa. It’s just, Iggy’s like a storm when he’s on a mission, brutal, arresting, awe-inspiring. It’s all part of what Noctis finds sexy, and Noctis can’t exactly imagine being that for Iggy, which is a little depressing but... maybe Iggy has a thing for clumsy and socially inept. He’s not sure how that’s going to fly with forkingandspooning114, though.

Does clumsy qualify as sexy?

He’s still trying to figure that out, when Iggy slides a plate in front of him. “Dinner is served.”

Noctis blinks at the dish. It looks good, kinda familiar, but then Iggy made it, so ditto. “Thanks, Specs.”

“Have you gotten everything you needed for Prompto?” Iggy asks solicitously, as he seats himself opposite Noctis.

“Uh, yeah. We’re good.”

Iggy considers him. “Would it be helpful if I made a couple of notes on the recipe?”

Noctis shrugs as he digs into the chicken. The meat's tender, and the sauce creamy but not too creamy. “Yeah, sure.”

“Then you shan’t be attempting this on your own in Prompto’s kitchen?”

“Specs.”

Iggy delicately cuts a portion of his own fillet, spears it with his fork, then tears a chunk off with his teeth. Okay, that’s weirdly hot. Noctis stares at Iggy’s bobbing adam's apple as he swallows. “I’m serious, Noct.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Noctis agrees, distracted by Iggy’s adam’s apple, but it’s not like he’s been planning to go burn down Promp’s kitchen in the first place. Iggy seems somewhat mollified by his answer and drops the subject, so Noctis is left to enjoy the meal in silence for the next couple of minutes. He scarfs it down with relish, but there’s just something about it that feels... Hm. “Hey, Specs? This tastes sorta familiar.”

Iggy pauses, fork in mid-air as he replies, “Well, of course. The recipe’s an exact copy of mine. If you hadn’t told me otherwise, I’d have thought Prompto took it straight out of my notebook.”

Wait. “Really?” Noctis stops chewing. Because that’s just—

“It’s a common enough dish,” Iggy shrugs, “And it’s something I’ve adapted off existing recipes. I’d say it’s certainly possible for someone to have made the same adjustments as I. No cause for alarm.”

“Do you wanna check the rest of the recipes? See if they’re yours? What if someone stole—”

“In your own words, Noct, it’s not a big deal.”

How is that not a big deal? Iggy’s worked his ass off on those recipes. “Just check them.”

Iggy accepts Noctis’ phone and scrolls through the recipes, expression politely neutral as he does so, which annoys Noctis because that usually means he thinks Noct’s being stupid or unreasonable or whatever. He stops scrolling after a while. “Well, they’re all rather similar.”

“So someone stole your recipes?”

“They’re just recipes,” yeah, recipes Iggy created for Noct.

And Noctis is about to demand they call up the citadel’s security and have them pull up footage from the Private Secretary’s Office, but then his wrath is promptly derailed by the sudden realisation that someone in the citadel stole Iggy’s recipes for the Ignoct secret santa, and that’s… That’s… Well, he’s a little conflicted, because one, stealing is bad, but two, someone close to home ships them hard enough to go to such lengths, and that’s kind of, sort of heartwarming in a… weirdly, intrusive sort of way. Well, at least, he’s got someone’s support if he and Iggy work out and Noctis declares his plans to beget heirs via surrogacy or something.

“Do you know who it might be?” Noctis asks after a while.

Iggy stares at him for a moment. “Perhaps a Glaive or a Crownsguard.”

Great, he’ll have to ask Nyx or Gladio. Noctis finishes the rest of his dinner in a hurry.

“Is there anything else I can help you with tonight?” Iggy asks, while clearing the table.

Noctis blinks. Another loaded question. He tries to think of puppies and chocobos and anything but Iggy in a leather collar. “Uh. Nah, I’m good. Thanks for dinner, Specs. We should do the cooking together thing again sometime.”

“Certainly,” Iggy says.

Then Noctis is retreating to his bedroom to mull over the identity of forkingandspooning114, mind racing at warp-speed, already making plans to waylay the Glaives and Crownsguards, because he's gotta figure out who's his ally in this, you know. And if it's a little strange that Iggy left his Very Important Notebook unattended long enough for anyone to copy fifty pages off it, well... he's only human, isn't he?

[slimyscrivener]

Sugar Syrup Summoning Pt3

Our neophyte summoner attempts to explain the internet to a demon. Some looks are exchanged, an evening comes to a close.

Beginning ~~~~~ Previous ~~~~~ Next

As much as looking my demon in the face was daunting, having her stand behind me was in a whole different world of weird. Her body sounded slick, every simple shift or twitch of her body lingered at the edge of being audible. As I sat ensconced within my faux-leather office chair I could hear the sound of her breathing. A far away sound, like the sloshing of a distant bathtub. Once or twice she made as though to lean her arms on the chair back but stopped herself midway and instead placed her hooves awkwardly on her hips.

When the computer finished booting up from sleep mode she leaned in.

Her breath smelled of coffee, and her body gave off the aroma of sweet mushrooms. I felt myself getting hot around the cheeks again but for entirely more embarrassing reasons. She smelled like ooze, like slime on warm flesh, and if pressed I’m not sure I could accurately describe what that even meant in words without blushing madly. It made my brain feel foggy as though trying to peer through a car window on a humid day. My hesitation as I stared at the peak of her muzzle leaning past me became noticeable and she angled her head to look at me.

“It’s very colourful.” She said, the scent of coffee was a mundane detail I could cling to and I nodded in response.

“Yes, I like my, uh. My backdrop.” Which was a dull thing to say that the demon probably wouldn’t understand so I rounded to the task.

“Anyway, it’s sort of like a- a box of functions. I mean, it can do all kinds of things. The computer I mean.”

I opened up my word processor and starting to type at random.

“This would let me write up something and then I can have it printed over there.” I indicated my bulky old printer in the corner with a backward thrust of a thumb.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, a hooved hand gripping the plush side of my chair. A breath caught in my chest as she cheerfully continued.

“We have something like that in the offices, it’s a bit finicky for me though. I prefer something like this that stays put.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, neither the idea that demons had offices nor the concept of a computer that didn’t stay put. I felt my head swim at the idea that demons has computers IN their offices. She didn’t seem apt to explain, leaving me adrift in rapidly devolving thought,  so I tried to carry on.

“Right, uh…” A deep breath in, then released.  

“So, the net.”

Popping open my web browser, I preferred Narwhale-lite because Narwhale-premium takes up too much system resources and also because poverty, I navigated to my media feed.

“This…” I said, scrolling slowly, “is sort of an example. It’s a feed, uh, it’s a list of things my friends have said or news articles. People share them on the net and they get passed around. And my feed sort of aggregates all of that stuff for me so I can read it in one place. And the net is… like this huge collective storage space of information that keeps changing and evolving. I guess, and there’s people that manipulate it and use it for communication too.”

I turned to look at Lilwanyu, wondering if ‘aggregates’ was a confusing way to phrase it, or if that absolutely terrible explanation of the internet was just a mess, but she seemed rapt by the images on the screen. Eyes blinked, some wandered reading while others widened in some expression I could hardly ken.

She said, in a breathy murmur, “how fascinating..! And do you set it to your exact specifications for the information you want to collect? How much of your activity does it aggregate for other people using this same function? Does it only collect from events that are shared or does it do so by some other process?”

Lost for words, I had to think a moment. She’d grasped the concept faster than I had assumed she might, and even used the same terminology I had used back at me with surprising deftness. I needed to amend my explanation and get more technical before I accidentally started giving her the wrong idea.

When I clicked the mouse I found that I had gone a bit sweaty and wiped it down with the hem of my shirt before I continued.

“Y- yes. I mean, people have to put things on the net before they can be collected, and it only collects the stuff that I put up there too. I have my preferences set up for what it will share publicly and privately, and what it will show me from other people and sites.”

“Interesting…” She breathed, and I wondered if the demon hadn’t gotten… excited? I had the impression that she was gripping the seat more tightly, it had begun to list to the side ever so slightly. I realized it was leaning me in closer to her as she stooped in to look at the screen more closely. I had to actively scoot myself against the other arm rest to stop myself from physically touching her.

Though, for a moment, I wondered what it might feel like. Was she covered in soft, peach plush fur? Or perhaps it was slimy, as slick as its texture seemed to imply? I found myself staring at her arm where it curled out from under her shawl. Without thinking I followed the shape of it up to her hand, to the muzzle resting upon her palm. Most of her eyes were on the computer, but one was fixed firmly upon me. Its pupil was a thick band, like a goat’s eye, with a sclera of yellow like aging parchment. As I stared back at it, the pupil began to dilate.

It grew until it filled all available space within its socket. Ink black and shimmering like oil, as I watched it began to ooze at the corners, overflowing down the lines of her face. My mouth went dry, I felt breath pass over lips hanging open, but I couldn’t bear to look away. Oil slime tears bled into other eyes, and their pupils slowly turned to gaze at me. One by one, until my vision was filled with a field of eyes that shined like bubbles upon a darkened sea.

In my chest, my heart had started to quake, ribs were aching as though its beat sought escape from the cage of my bones. Something inside me was wanting, I’d never needed something so badly, but I couldn’t give the need a shape. It was formless, oozing around the edges. The eyes upon me did not judge, they were waiting.

Expectant.

I blinked.

“I had no idea humans had such tools.”

Her words jarred me so hard I slapped the mouse on the desktop with an awkward plastic clack.

If she noticed she didn’t mention it, continuing to chat as though the last thousand years of mutual staring had never occurred.

“This is quite sophisticated. Can you find information not aggregated by this function specifically?”

Nodding my way out of some distractingly slimy thoughts, I went through the motions of showing her a variety of my bookmarks without speaking.  Going through news and cooking sites then segwaying into forums and webcomics. When she started to ask direct questions I mustered the will to speak, though it came out in a hoarse squeak at first. I wanted to call it a feeling of numbness but that was incorrect. My skin was buzzing, like an electric chill. I felt more exhausted than anything else, though her quiet cadence and curiosity began to sooth the sensation. More questions as I went, some of which I was unable to answer, she was exceptionally keen and quite interested in the technology of it. Eventually I asked if she wanted to mess around with it for a while.

“Oh..! May I?” She said, sudden excitement making her yank the chair ever so slightly. I yipped, jumping in my seat, causing it to spin and face her directly. Her arm moved with the chair and she turned with it so that the two of us were face to face.

The intent look that she gave me made my head swim. I wasn’t certain if I was ready to have her full attention again, especially after that previous… whatever it was. Just, being so close to her made me feel so vulnerable, in a indescribable way. I never considered a demon being disarmingly sincere, but that was the best way I could describe it, when she looked at me I could tell she was looking directly into me. In a person I would be hard pressed to understand this kind of behavior, these looks she gave me. In a demon, I was distressingly without a clue. It had a simultaneous, ‘this demon wants to eat me’, and, ‘this demon wants to eat me’ sort of feeling.

“Y....” I stammered, awkwardly attempting to casually lean back in the seat, “Y-yes..? Sure I’ll uh, I’ll set up a guest user account for you since you’re going to be-”

A thought struck me, sudden enough to break through a new bout of brain fog, and I sat up again.

“Wait. How long are you going to be here?”

Some eyes started to glance about the room, the middlemost one stared up at the ceiling. While she thought on it I quickly put together another account for her and logged myself out, giving myself something to do that wasn’t staring my demon in the face.

“Well”, she said, “I presume it will have to do with how long it takes me to satisfy your request?”

“I guess I should make up the couch?” I frowned, standing up from the computer and gesturing at the seat. “Here, the password is just your name backwards.”

As she settled into the chair, curling her tail around her hips and bringing her legs up to perch on the seat, I continued to think out loud.

“I guess you can use the other room. I haven’t had a chance to fill it yet. There’s just a mattress though, she took the box spring.”

It had been a fraught sort of parting when my last roommate left.

“That will be fine.” Lilwanyu responded, her voice having a distant quality as she henpecked the keyboard. Luckily the mouse was well suited to a three fingered hand and she picked up on that quickly enough. Then again, she was also writing and speaking just fine in English, now that I thought of it.

I watched her for a few minutes, a thought slowly creeping up on me. Was this an incredibly terrible idea? Turning a demon loose on the internet with unrestricted access to what had apparently, to her, been unknown technology? Even if it was, I really had no means to stop her from doing so. Again the thought of binding her came to mind, particularly the part where I hadn’t done so.

A feeling like a snowball traveling downhill was picking up speed. Lights turning on in my head. I felt panic beginning to build.

“H-hey…” I tried to effect a casual tone and only succeeded in a nonchalant squeak.

“S-so, what are you uh, looking up th-there..?”

“Humans”, came the distracted response. I had the strangest feeling of being just a little hurt that she hadn’t spared a single eye to look at me as she said it.

“Oh, haha. Well...” No more words were forthcoming and I shut my mouth.

I watched her read wikipedia articles in silence for a few minutes before I realized that at this point I was a host, she was a guest and, there were certain expected behaviors.

“I’m going to go make up your bed, alright? You, I mean you sleep, right?”

A few eyes turned to look at me as she responded.

“Yes I do”, she said, “thank you.”

It was fast, this change from being terrified at her attention to being relieved. I hadn’t actually spoken with anyone, outside of cash register canned responses, in months...

Had it really been months?

Hesitating, each step out of the room followed by a glance back at the great horse monster using my computer, I went out into the living room. Staring up at the popcorn ceiling, standing there in the center of a carpet that crunched under foot, it almost felt like a normal night once she wasn’t in view anymore. But the apartment felt less empty, even just knowing she was there out of sight. It was a nice feeling. Screwing my heel up against the fabric, listening to the crisp sound, I glanced down.

The rug’s texture felt as though it had been badly burned, but it looked relatively the same as before. I rubbed the toe of my slipper on it and watched fibres flake off in tiny bits. Perhaps I shouldn’t have used it as a ritual ground, but the concentric circles seemed like a good idea at the time. Wouldn’t the unbroken circles have been a good binding for a demon? Or did the process of the summoning destroy them somehow in a way I couldn’t have foreseen?

There were also several stubs of candle melted into my carpet, the landlord will be furious if I can’t scrape that out, and an overturned offering dish. It looked as though it had toppled over when Lilwanyu appeared and its contents released onto the ground. I stooped to look and feel the carpet but, there was no trace of the liquid. Originally, I had been using honey and a variety of morbid ingredients but tonight I had the inspiration to just dump out a bottle of simple syrup, like what you’d use for cocktails. Just that, some blood of course, and the other thing.

‘The other thing’ I eventually found under the sofa, a perfect orb of selenite. At least I assumed it was perfect, that’s what the ebay seller had assured me. Presently when II picked it up I felt an electric jolt that made every muscle in my arm spasm. Dropping it with a yelp, it rolled sedately back under the couch. I clutched my smarting hand to my chest and stared at the sofa.

“Whatever. Just… just stay there I guess.” I mumbled.

Standing, I went through the motions of making the mattress into a bed. My only spare sheets were cast offs from a nearby hospice, run through a washing machine and several bleach baths. It was still cheaper than buying new bed linens. In the process of fitting sheets and locating comforters I felt exhaustion creep in to replace the adrenaline of the last few hours. When I walked back into my room the sight of the demon hardly stirred the sleep that had begun to fog my mind.

I let her know the bed was ready and muzzily explained how to put the computer into sleep mode when she was done. As I finished Lilwanyu turned in the chair to look at me.

“Thank you, I won’t be a bother while you’re sleeping will I?” Genuine concern, so many eyes watching me, so tired.

Shaking my head and waving a hand casually I responded.

“Naw, I sleep like a rock when I actually get to sleep. Having someone around makes it easier.”

“Oh.” She said, “then, goodnight to… ”

The demon did something strange:

she blushed.

The flesh of her cheeks and neck blossomed in purple hues as her expression flashed through frightened, to anxious, and then settled into exasperation.

“I’m so sorry, I never asked for your name.” She said, from her tone I thought at first she was angry at me, but I recognized it as disappointment in herself. Ah yes, I am very well accustomed to that feeling.

She hadn’t asked, I realized, and I had never bothered to give it to her. Wow. It has been a long time since I’ve talked to anyone I guess.

I laughed to assuage her feelings. Trying to sooth the emotions of a demon..! What a strange day.

I said, “it’s Alice.”

As an afterthought I added, “She. Earth.”

Lilwanyu nodded, then with a smile she said, “goodnight Alice. Tomorrow we shall begin fulfilling your wish.”

My heart abruptly throbbed in my chest at the sight of her teeth, at just the bare sliver that showed when the demon smiled. I couldn’t put together a response to her assertion so instead I simply said goodnight and rolled up into bed.

With covers over head I calmed my heart back down, luckily the weight of sleep was there to make the work easier. I amused myself by thinking how absurd it was to be napping as a demon was busily polluting my search history with things like “humans, how to talk to them” and “how do humans make friends.”

As I fell asleep, “Humans, top recipes”, came to mind as well but in the half conscious mind of an exhausted young woman it really didn’t bother me that much. Honestly, it would have been a lot easier to just ask her to eat me, that would have solved all of my problems pretty nicely regardless of her interpretation.

…

Oh.

Damn.

[charllieeldridge]

10 Best Beaches in Bali: A Guide to Swimming, Surfing and Sunbathing

“Paradise” is a word that often gets tossed around when describing Bali, and for good reason. This famous island in Indonesia is known for its vibrant culture, stunning landscapes, and vast selection of beaches. In this guide, we’ll take a closer look at the best beaches in Bali.

While Bali may look small on the map, this unassuming island packs a lot in and it’s definitely one of the top places to visit in the country. In addition to its many excellent beaches, the island also has volcanoes, lakes, hot springs, forests, waterfalls, and more. With a few days here, you can take in a little bit of everything. 

Bali is one of those places in Indonesia (and the world) that has a tendency to suck people in. I can speak from experience at the magnetic power this place has.

After visiting twice for a few weeks each time, I decided to apply for a program to live there for a year while learning the language and culture. It was one of the best decisions I ever made and I’ll always have a special place in my heart for Bali.

If you’re ready to start planning your own dream trip to the Island of the Gods, read on to find the right Bali beach (or five) for you!

Goats On The Road note to readers: regardless of whether a beach is supposed to be good for swimming in Bali, tidal changes, storms, and currents can arise, making the sea dangerous. For your safety, always seek local advice, check the flag status before jumping in the water, and be aware of changes in the tides.

1. Seminyak Beach

Good beach for swimming, boogie-boarding, or beginner/intermediate surfing

We’re kicking off our list of the best beaches in Bali with one of my personal favorites — Seminyak. Also known as Double Six, this is one of the most happening spots on the island. 

There’s a lot to love about this trendy Bali beach town. There’s plenty of space here to just lay your towel down in the sand, and it’s not hard to find sun loungers and umbrellas if you want a bit more comfort. 

Seminyak Beach has waves, but they’re not huge. This makes it a fine spot for swimming, boogie-boarding, or beginner-intermediate level surfing. There are plenty of places that rent surfboards and even a few surf schools if you need some guidance. 

Another reason to love the Seminyak area is the abundance of great restaurants, accommodation options and beach clubs. Grab a colorful beanbag at the beachside La Plancha or head up to the Double 6 Rooftop for some incredible views. There’s nothing quite like a sunset cocktail and seafood dinner on Seminyak Beach.

If you’re planning to spend New Year’s Eve in Bali, Seminyak is an excellent choice. Your options here range from a NYE gala party at places like Cocoon Beach Club to just making your own party on the beach with a cheap bottle of rum and coconut. I went with the latter and we had an absolute blast watching the fireworks with a huge crowd of revelers. 

This stretch of beach is located about a 30-minute drive from the airport, just north of the busier Kuta/Legian area. Click here for directions to Double Six, and Seminyak Beach is just north of there. Technically, Seminyak beach stretches all the way up to the super trendy Ku De Ta club. If you’re hoping to snap a photo enjoying a tropical cocktail in an infinity pool on a Bali beach, this is the place to go! Click here to get directions.

2. Uluwatu Beach (one of the best beaches in Bali for surfing)

Known for great surfing 

Bali has long been a top destination for surfers thanks to places like Uluwatu Beach. Located at the far southern end of the island on the Bukit peninsula, this is a legendary surfing spot. It should be noted that while many know it as Uluwatu Beach, it’s technically called Suluban.

This area of Bukit is called Uluwatu in reference to the famous cliffside temple. Visiting Uluwatu Temple and seeing the kecak performance there at sunset is an absolute must in Bali — just watch out for those cheeky monkeys who love to snatch sunglasses and phones!

People come from all over the world to ride the waves at this surfing mecca. You’ll have to work hard for them, though! In order to access Uluwatu and many other beaches on the peninsula, you have to walk down a long and steep staircase. This is definitely not the best Bali beach for those with mobility issues or people traveling with young children. 

For surfers, it’s definitely well worth the effort to get down to Uluwatu Beach. Seeing as how I can’t surf to save my life, I’m going to send you to this excellent and detailed post from Surf Indonesia about all the waves you can ride here. 

Those who are not surfing should plan to visit Uluwatu Beach at low tide. It’s not exactly the best place for sunbathing, but it’s a beautiful spot to explore when the waves aren’t crashing. Be sure to check the tide chart before heading down here so you can time your visit accordingly. 

There are quite a few restaurants and bars perched along the cliffside here. Take a seat and enjoy the views of surfers carving up waves down below, perhaps while sipping a cold Bintang or getting a massage. Single Fin is one of the top spots in Bali to watch the sunset, and it’s also one of the best parties on the island every Sunday night! Click here for directions to Uluwatu Beach.

3. Virgin Beach

One of the best beaches in Bali for swimming

This next one takes a while to reach, but it’s worth the effort. Pasir Putih is located on the northeast coast and is definitely one of the best beaches in Bali to visit. 

Also known as the Virgin Beach, this gorgeous stretch of white sand is rare in this part of the island. Most of the beaches in East Bali are black, volcanic sand and aren’t exactly the best for lounging on. 

There’s not a whole lot going on here, but that’s the beauty of the place. There are a few simple warung (local restaurants) on the beach that will let you use their chairs if you order something. These places may not look like much, but they cook up some amazing grilled fish and they are super friendly.

This part of the island doesn’t get waves, so this isn’t the place for boogie-boarding or surfing. It is, however, a great spot to do a bit of snorkeling. You can bring your own or rent one from one of the restaurants.

The closest town with tourist facilities to the Virgin Beach is Candidasa. From here it’s only about a 20-minute drive. If you’re travelling to Virgin Beach from towns in the south or Ubud, it will take a few hours. It’s worth it to make the trek, especially if you combine a stop here with a visit to one of the water palaces. Click here to get directions to this awesome Bali beach.

  4. Nusa Lembongan Beach

A good place for snorkelling, scuba diving, and surfing and swimming 

For the next Bali beach on our list, we’re actually traveling off the main island. You see, there are three smaller islands just off the southwest coast that are still considered part of Bali!

These are known as the Nusa Islands (Lembongan, Ceningan, and Penida) and they are easily visited on a day trip. On Nusa Lembongan, you’ll find quite a few beaches to choose from. The main beach is Jungutbatu, which is where you’ll find a wide range of accommodation, restaurants, and bars.

Actually, the Nusa Islands are known for excellent snorkeling, diving, and surfing. You can actually base yourself in Candidasa and go on dive excursions from there. Check out our article here to learn about diving around the Nusa Islands from Candidasa.

Nusa Lembongan is home to several dive shops and surfing schools to get you set up. The surf breaks here are better suited for more experienced riders, as they all break over coral reefs. 

There are many other beautiful beaches worth exploring on Lembongan. With a rented scooter, you can easily visit Mushroom Beach, Sandy Bay, Dream Beach, Coconut Beach (which is one of the best beaches in Bali for families), and more. There’s enough to see and do here to warrant spending a few nights on the island, and it’s far more enjoyable once all the day-trippers have left anyways!

5. Canggu Beach

A good beach for surfing, watching sunset and having a drink

Another Bali beach that’s wildly popular with surfers is Canggu. It’s located north of Seminyak and is also easily reached from the airport. This area has been developing rapidly over the past few years and Canggu is now a hot spot for digital nomads and yogis.

Canggu is actually home to a few different beaches. From south to north, there’s Berawa, Neyelan, Batu Bolong, Echo Beach, and finally Pererenan. Each beach has its own unique vibe and offers different things.

The beaches here have dark grey or black sand and these aren’t the best beaches in Bali for swimming, as the waves can be really rough. As such, you’ll find the Canggu beaches far less crowded than the ones further south.

Berawa has a few restaurants and bars, and you can also rent boards and loungers here for a reasonable price. This is a great beach to go to if you just want to enjoy some surfing or boogie-boarding without the crowds and touts. 

When you look up “Canggu Beach” on Google Maps, it takes you to Batu Bolong. There’s a lot more action here, thanks in large part to Old Man’s. This is one of the coolest bars in all of Bali and the perfect place to party after a big day out on the water. 

Just to be clear, you don’t have to be a surfer to enjoy Canggu. I can’t stand on a surfboard to save my life and I always have a good time hitting Canggu Beach. It’s especially fun to visit around sunset to watch the surfers riding their last waves as the sun dips behind the horizon. A day at the beach followed by dinner and drinks in Canggu is a great addition to any Bali itinerary.

Take a video tour of Canggu in our “Streets, Beats & Eats” show.

6. Bingin Beach

Next on our list of the best beaches in Bali is Bingin. This is another beach located below the towering cliffs of the Bukit peninsula. Once again, you’ll need to put forth a decent amount of effort to reach this stunning Bali beach!

Bingin truly is a hidden gem, in that it’s honestly a bit hard to find. You zig-zag your way down a maze of narrow alleyways passing several different guesthouses and warung before you finally find the motorbike parking area. Cars can’t make it back here, so you’re either on two wheels or on foot. 

Eventually, you finally reach the winding staircase that takes you down to the beach. The fact that it’s so hard to reach turns off a lot of people, which is great for those looking to experience a Bali beach without hordes of hard-partying tourists.

Even though it’s tiny and tough to get to, Bingin is still home to quite a few guesthouses, restaurants, and surf shops. They definitely cater to surfers, as the challenging waves here are what spurred the development of a tourism industry in the first place. For more advanced surfers looking for a more traditional option for a Bali beach, Bingin is an excellent choice.

So is it worth the effort to reach Bingin if you’re not a surfer? Absolutely! When you come here at low tide it’s really beautiful to walk around and take photos. Be sure to stick around for the postcard-worthy sunset. Then sit down for some grilled seafood and a drink with your toes in the sand before making your way back up. Or just go ahead and stay here! This is definitely a cool home base to have for a few nights in Bali. Find Bingin on the map here.

7. Sanur Beach

Good beach for swimming, relaxing, walking

This next Bali beach holds a special place in my heart. Sanur is a sleepy fishing town on the southeast coast of Bali and it’s where I lived for most of my year on the island. 

Despite having a very substantial tourism scene, Sanur remains at its heart a traditional Balinese village. Traffic comes to a standstill here quite often when processions go through the streets, and there’s a massive performance and parade for the Balinese New Year.

Every summer, the town hosts a traditional kite festival. If it is “real Bali” that you seek (whatever that means), Sanur is a great choice.

While many decry Sanur as being too boring – its nickname is actually “Snore” – I find that to be far from the truth. Sure, there are no gnarly waves or rowdy beach clubs here, but that’s precisely why I and many others love it.

The beaches here are nice, the water is calm, and there are several places with sun loungers and umbrellas available. There’s a long path along the beach that makes for the perfect place to go for a leisurely stroll in the morning or evening. It’s one of the few places in Bali where you can enjoy a walk without fear of being run over by a motorbike.

While surfing isn’t really possible over here, you can still go jet-skiing, SUPing, snorkeling, or diving from Sanur beach. There are also a few excellent yoga studios on the beachfront.

One of the best ways to experience Sanur is on a bike tour. The folks at Sanur Cycle Tours are good friends of mine and they run some amazing bike trips around the area. I took quite a few and my personal favorite was their Jurassic Park tour that visits an abandoned amusement park.

There are actually a few different beaches in town. Sanur Beach is the most central (click here for directions), and other beaches in the area include Sindhu, Karang, and Mertasari. There are tons of options for places to stay, shop, eat, and drink here, making Sanur a very convenient base.

8. Jimbaran Beach

A good beach for swimming and dining

This next Bali beach is definitely the easiest one to reach from the airport. In fact, Jimbaran Beach starts just south of the runway. You can be chilling on the beach with a cold one in hand in no time!

This beach is part of the narrow isthmus that connects the mainland to the Bukit peninsula. As such, it’s a very convenient place to base yourself for exploration of South Bali. With a scooter, you can be in either Kuta or Nusa Dua in under half an hour.

Most of the access points for the various beaches in Bukit can be reached in under an hour, but you still get the amenities of the mainland. There are plenty of options in Jimbaran for accommodation, dining, shopping, and nightlife. 

Jimbaran Beach is a pretty mellow place in terms of both the ocean and the vibes. There aren’t big waves here at all, so this definitely isn’t high on the radar of surfers. If you’re a total beginner, though, this is a good place to try it out. Most people are content with just lounging on the beach here, so it’s one of the more laid back places on this list.

The highlight of Jimbaran is definitely the nightly seafood market here. There are several excellent restaurants right on the beach, where you can take your pick from a variety of fresh seafood and have it cooked up to your liking. Wandering bands stroll the beach and take requests, making this one of the best beaches in Bali for a romantic dinner. 

9. Lovina Beach

If you really want to escape the crowds, one of the best beaches in Bali to visit is Lovina. It’s located on the far north coast of the island, which feels worlds apart from the chaos of the south.

The name Lovina actually refers to a stretch of seven different villages along the northern coast of Bali. Beaches here are generally black sand and the water is very calm — this isn’t the Bali beach for you if you’re chasing waves. There is, however, some quality snorkeling and diving on tap up here.

Lovina’s biggest claim to fame is the dolphins that inhabit the waters around town. There’s even a statue of the aquatic mammals on the main beach. Basically everyone in Lovina can set you up on an early morning tour in search of dolphins. 

From the airport, it’s about a 2.5-3-hour drive to reach Lovina Beach. If you end up renting a scooter/car or just hiring a driver, it’s worth it to add stops at the Jatiluwih rice terraces, Ulun Danu Beratan temple, and maybe even the Aling-Aling waterfall on your way. 

Since it’s such a long trip, I don’t really recommend coming all the way here just for the afternoon. Lovina Beach is actually a great place to spend a few nights. There are plenty of options for accommodation here and the prices are very reasonable. Plus, it’s nice to experience a more authentic Bali beach town that’s devoid of McDonald’s and Starbucks. 

If you end up staying a few nights in Lovina, I highly recommend taking the short trip inland one afternoon to go to the Banjar hot springs. These pools full of natural hot spring water are a great place to relax for a couple of hours. It’s just a 20-30 minute drive from Lovina to get there. Find Lovina on the map here.

10. Nusa Dua Beach

One of the best beaches in Bali for swimming

Last but not least is Bali’s most luxurious beach, Nusa Dua. Located down on the northeast corner of the Bukit peninsula this area is known for its swanky resorts, upmarket shopping, and world-class golf course. In short, this is where the fabulous people stay!

Nusa Dua is very much a tourist enclave, as it’s actually a gated zone where you have to pass through security. While it may seem very exclusive, most of the beach is still public here. Even if you’re not staying at a 5-star hotel, it’s well worth it to visit Nusa Dua for an afternoon. This is one of the nicest beaches in Bali.

The beach in Nusa Dua is white sand and the water is great for swimming. If your idea of a perfect day at the beach involves a sun lounger, a few adult beverages, and a good book, this is the Bali beach for you. 

There are a few things to do here. One of the highlights of visiting Nusa Dua is seeing the famous Waterblow. This is a point on the coast where waves crash into a rock formation in dramatic fashion. It’s also a very popular spot for photo ops, so you have to pay a small entrance fee to access the path.

Just because you’re at the beach doesn’t mean you can’t get a little culture. Nusa Dua is also home to a very underappreciated museum. The Pasifika Museum is a fantastic art museum that’s well worth getting out of the sun for a couple of hours to see. You can find Nusa Dua on the map here. 

Ready for the Best Beaches in Bali?

As you can see, Bali is home to several fantastic beaches, each unique in their own way. Before we end this guide to the top beaches in Bali, I should take a moment to mention why one didn’t make the cut. 

Noticeably missing from my list is Kuta Beach, which is the main tourist hub in Bali. This is far and away the most popular, crowded, and developed beach on the island.

It transformed from a tiny fishing town to a booming tourist destination in under 30 years, and the negative effects of this breakneck development are all too clear. As such, I can’t in good conscience recommend visiting Kuta Beach.

First of all, Kuta is plagued by traffic jams, scam artists, and petty crooks. The beach is overcrowded and not that nice, and the touts here are incessant. You are much better off spending your precious vacation days at any of the other Bali beaches on this list. Trust me.

The many other small beach towns on the island can use your support as well, and it’s much easier to directly support locals once you get out of the Kuta bubble.

My best advice is to rent a scooter or a car, or just hire the amazing local drivers and do a loop of the island to visit as many of the amazing beaches as you can!

Have you been beach hopping in Bali? Which beach was your favorite? Leave a comment below and let us know! 

Note: Images in this article are courtesy of Shutterstock.com.

The post 10 Best Beaches in Bali: A Guide to Swimming, Surfing and Sunbathing appeared first on Goats On The Road.

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[talldarknsexy]

Sudan: Cycling the Sahara

Crossing the border to Sudan was a huge relief. Everything was even less developed. And I waited in the immigration building with the one other tourist and the squeaking fan rotating slowly overhead. Susan's ATMs do not connect with the outside world and so, the only option is to bring hard currency in US dollars. Not having Sudanese pounds yet, and having to pay a registration fee, the government official had his friend lead me to the black market money changer in order to get 50:1 as opposed to the 25:1 that the banks offer as it is an artificially controlled currency. I rode into Sudan and was able to breathe so much easier. Ethiopia has about 100 million people as opposed to Sudan's 13 million (in a larger land mass.) At the first roadside opportunity, I pulled over and had some goat meat at a local restaurant. After about 20 minutes, I'd realized that there was no crowd around me, no beggars, and no children staring at me. It was serene. For about 2 hours I laid there on one of their benches. I was listening to a podcast on my phone pressed against my ear when I noticed people started to take notice and act unusual. Eventually, an English speaker, probably police came up and asked me "Camera?!" It took me a minute to understand what he was asking and convinced him no, I wasn't filming, just listening to audio and he was appeased. But nonetheless, I realized there was an oppressive backwards reason why I felt so free here. Anyways, I set off and getting into sunset was eagerly looking for a place to camp. In the distance I spotted something unusual. I couldn't tell if it was a cycletourist, two motorcycles, or a fucking donkey and a wheelbarrow. Anyways, it turned out to be Alex and Merlin, two British lads on a tandem whom I'd been following on their journey, training local medical workers on optical medical devices. This was their first long bike trip. They flagged down a truck for water and we camped in the bush off the road. I had a few days riding to the capital of Khartoum. Lots of desert, but in the south there's plenty more agriculture. The Sudanese are incredible friendly and helpful. They'll invite you for tea and meals and won't let you pay. And if here, unlike much of Africa, you're in need of something like directions or advice, they'll actually help you without looking for something in return. Because of a collapsing currency, everything was also incredibly cheap. Meals were usually 50-60c though we're typically just bean paste and flatbread. Petrol is cheaper than bottled water and costs something like 50c/gallon (12c/L) And a hotel could be something like $3-$5. In Wad Madani I paid $6 and had a suite with king sized bed, air con, refrigerator, and kitchen. In Khartoum, I reached the youth hostel and to camp there was $1. I Had a few days to kill and so went to the pool, changed more dollars, and visited Ahmed, a Syrian guy I'd met a few days prior. I got a taxi to his town and met up with his friends. Some were Sudanese, but most were Syrian or Yemenite. Sudan has since welcomed refugees from various crises. We had dinner, went to a shisha bar, and chatted, largely through google translate voice. They were good fun and very generous hosts. It got late though and they wouldn't let me take a taxi back so I crashed at their place. It was fairly basic and I'm used to that, but on my own terms and with a mosquito net or tent, neither of which I had. They'd all gotten malaria at least once, so I didn't get much sleep. Up all night in a room with 5 other guys, I realized I was having a sober sleepover with 5 ~25 yr old (presumable) virgins. Something I hadn't experienced in probably 15 years. Gracious for their generosity and friendship, but realizing maybe it was time to start thinking past Sudan. Indeed, even bringing up the idea of girls or women to guys here sent them into giggles. But the more mature ones like to ask you if you fancy Sudanese woman. I have no fucking idea I tell them... I've never seen more than their eyes, let alone talked to one! On Friday in Kharthoum I went to see the Sufi dancers. It's a tradition that has been going on for centuries influenced by the Ottoman Empire, but with its own distinct Sudanese practices. The Sufis burn frankincense, sing, chant, dance, and some will spin on axis until they fall down in order to achieve a vertigo of feeling closer to God. As this is a popular tourist attraction, it attracted all the tourists in Khartoum. About 15 to be exact... It was high season after all. Some I'd met there lived there for work though, and to get back to the city I shared a taxi with 3 Scandinavian embassy workers. It was interesting to hear some very informed intelligent outside, but inside perspectives on the Sudanese Government as well as those of surrounding countries. Also, them being embassy employees, had a stash of contraband alcohol. We brought some pizza up to their rooftop and I ate and sipped champagne with tall, attractive, whiter-than-white, Scandinavian folks. A bizarre, albeit enjoyable experience that was highly unexpected. On the walk back I met three American cyclists just on the street. It was probably 10pm, but they were headed to camp at the same hostel. They'd gotten Sudanese visas at home and it had cost them almost $250 as opposed to the $70 I'd paid. The next day I set off as I was looking to meet up with Will and Wendy, an older cyclist couple of rode with briefly in East Africa. I was now entering the Bayuda desert. A very desolate section of the Sahara that strays from the Nile. Here things were a bit more remote and I carried quite a bit more water and food. Some stretches were flat, hot, and unstimulating. Others passed through varied terrain with desert scrub or picturesque dunes. I'd listen to music or podcasts, but frankly after a few days, the Bayuda was quite mind numbing. I ended the third day riding into the sunset with Pink Floyd's Time playing as I watched the road continuously slip below the shimmering horizon. I felt like time indeed was standing still, and with the visual in front of me, could easily understand how people saw mirages. Only for me, my hallucinations were of eating Chipotle. Specifically a double wrapped chicken burrito: spanish rice, pinto, fried veggies, lettuce, salsa, corn, cheese, and sour cream. I spent days riding 10km/hr into the wind with occasional stops for water or fowl, a bean paste served with flatbread. In fact, this was about the only food I ever encountered on the road. And getting diarrhea one stretch, with only fowl as sustenance was like pouring gasoline on the fire. Somebody's idea of a cruel fucking joke. I had a solid day playing carnival games with a squat toilet and fertilizing patches of the desert, but soon enough I was fine. People in Sudan are incredibly welcoming. There's endless offers for chai, conversation, and selfies. And one day I was invited over by two Bedouin goat herders who were cooking lunch not too far from the road. It was an interesting exchange as they were both about my age, but didn't know a word of english. We cooked and ate and laughed at whatever and the younger one crashed trying to ride my bicycle. After a few days, I crossed back onto the main highway where there were more villages as it was on the Nile. There was one in particular that stuck out. On the side of the road, there were three kids and one launched a rock past me. This was rather unexpected and annoying so I stopped and hurled one back. Just in this one village, this reoccurred five times. The PTSD from Ethiopia finally kicked in on the last and I exploded, sprinting after a series of kids and sending rocks flying. These were isolated to just this one area, but for a few days still served to shatter the comfort and trust I'd had. This was usual for Ethiopia but very bizarre for Sudan given the authoritarian government/police/education. I was told later that a child's punishment for such activity was 20 lashings by camel hide. I did finally catch up with Will and Wendy in the town of Dongola. Maps.me brought me to their hotel or so I thought. It was a very nice building, but with no sign. I asked a teenager standing "Lord Hotel?" He gave me one of those Indian headbob answers and followed me over to help me get my bike through the gate. Upon rounding a corner, the un-burka'd woman's look on her shocked face was enough to assure me was in the wrongg place. Someone pointed me around the corner to a very obviously signed guesthouse. I spent a day off the bike with Wendy, Will, and Tomás, a cyclist headed south. I had tea, falafel, and chicken with them and spent a good time finishing the book Quondam that Alex and Merlin had given me. It was about an Irish guy who rode down Africa in 1980. It was an incredible journey and had been fascinating to travel through the same places in a now much different world, and on paved roads. I then passed the book on to Tomás as he was also Irish, the same age, traveling the same course, and meeting his girlfriend in the same place. It was another two days riding before I caught up with Will and Wendy again and we both stayed at a nice guesthouse along the Nile. The owner came by and offered me to join him and some workers for food. "Eat much" he insisted, "the night is now longer than day." The north was filled with interesting desert terrain. You could camp almost anywhere and it was mind boggling to stare out in one direction and know that there was absolutely no humanity for hundreds of miles. After another two days of this I reached the town of Wadi Halfa where Wendy and Will had arrived. I had a change of heart though and decided to take a longer ferry than they were planning. I was kinda burnt out and it went across lake Nasser to Egypt and cut out 3 days of windy desert riding with only one shop. Again, I wasn't originally planning on it, but I happened to arrive to the port just an hour before the ferry set off for the week. There was plenty of hoops to jump through. I bought the ticket from one line, luggage with another, another line for a form, another for customs, immigration, security, etc. This isn't too different from any other port of entry or airport, but in Sudan it's complicated by a foreign passport which almost everyone blankly stares at upside down. They'll invariably ask me my name, nationality, and details anyways, which will be transcribed to Arabic script. We took off as the sun set. The ferry was packed with some 200 Sudanese guys all headed to Egypt for work or trade. The young ones were eager to chat and I was invited down below for dinner as well We chatted, the older men prayed, and the janitor heaved out the buckets of trash off the stern. The good-intentioned holy man approached me later and introduced me to the way of Islam. I had a few questions on fate, marriage, and theology. But he was more interested in giving me examples on hand washing and how God determines on decision day whether you live or die- this I assured him was also represented in Judeo-Christian practices. And when I respectfully told him that I was in no way planning on converting to Islam, but wanted to know what takeaway was most important to be a better person... He told me to be Muslim. It was an interesting atmosphere- mostly all young men looking for better prospects in a different land. I had enjoyed my time in Sudan, the desert was pristine, the people unbelievably friendly, and the bean fowl was plentiful. But after 3 weeks, and less than $2 worth of hard currency left, I too was ready for a change and looking for new prospects as we made port the next day in Aswan.

[linakay]

Dear You,

The amount of love that I was shown in Guadalajara was truly breathtaking. It came in swiftly as a force to say, “Celina. For this time, you are meant to be here.” Things just seemed to line up so perfectly. That’s not to say that this trip was without its lonely, challenging, and scary moments. But the bright moments shined through the haziness of the trying ones. When I so earnestly desired a friend, I looked up to find one placed before me just as I felt defeat, through classmates, strangers, even Uber drivers. There was always a new area to explore, a kindred eye, or secret knowledge waiting to be discovered. And this is all is precisely what made me fall in love so deeply with the city, with my life there. I will always hold the memories that I created sweetly in my heart. I wish that I could share every experience with you. Show you all of the colorful images in my mind. Let you taste the food and compassion, inhale the fragrant streets after the thunderstorms, and show you all around my little world. Unfortunately, that’s impossible. So for now, I am so excited to take you on a small part of my journey by sharing the things that stood out to me most.

Food

Of course, eating all of the different foods was one of the most memorable experiences of my time in Mexico. My host mom, A, couldn’t have been a better cook. One tip, if you are offered food or drink from a trusted Mexican friend, just accept their gift and kindness. Your “no, gracias” will not go very far before you are consuming the goodie and you will feel rude for refusing, so you may as well save your breath and enjoy whatever treat is in store for you. Many of my partaking of meals were spent with my host family. Eggs, cheese, beans, breads, pastries, salsas, fresh tortillas, delicious fruit, rich meats, aguas frescas. All of these and more were staples of my meal times spent in Guadalajara. From the traditional dishes of tortas ahogadas and carnes en su jugo to the freshest of quesadillas, I was very rarely hungry. And you know that this is saying quite a lot! My snacking days were scarcely encountered, as my tummy was always warm and full.

I visited many restaurants that were all so beautiful in their own way, from street foods to upper scale dining, I couldn’t help but fall in love. Lively colors were always scattered within the walls of the restaurants and flora scampered along throughout the confines of the spaces. One of my favorite restaurants sits in the middle of Tlaquepaque. A vibrant little city sitting right next to Guadalajara, full of historical buildings, art, handmade crafts, cuisine, and endless shops filled with Mexican delicacies. Casa Luna was the first restaurant that I ventured into with the kindest of friends. It was brimming with colorfully decorated trees and art-filled walls. Live music from a little quartet wafted through the air as I tasted the exquisite flavors of the food before me. I was so happy to be there.

Beautiful Casa Luna

A sope with a twist!

Tortillas to die for with every meal!

Dying for the colors ❤

Nieve de Garrafa. Another speciality!

Street tacos for the win!

A traditional Jaliscan goat dish! So tasty!

Torta Ahogada ~ A speciality of GDL! One of my favorite homemade meals 🙂

Mmmm. Tejuino! So tasty!

The restaurants were all so unique!

People

The people! Oh, the wonderful people that I encountered! My host family brought so much joy into my days in the city. They took care of me as if I was their own and that was such a humbling experience. One of the most beautiful things that I was able to observe of Mexican culture is the hospitality and warmth that is so freely offered. From kind souls on the streets to the ones who felt like home, I was embraced with a pressing tenderness that I hadn’t quite experienced before. Of course, I have been gifted an abundance of kindness in my home ever since I was young. It is simply that there is a powerful sense of community and unity in Mexico that you can’t help but stumble over and fully immerse yourself in. I was a stranger suddenly placed before them. Yet, my host family, their relatives, my teachers, Uber drivers, 7/11 employees, street vendors, bus waiters (You name it!), never once treated me as an outsider. And this is something that I think each and every one of us should fully let sink in. Generosity without hesitation. Instead of isolating me, they swiftly invited me into their world and led me into a beautiful dance that full of life, contentment, uncertainty, and passion.

Hanging in the Canals of Xochimilco

The sweetest souls! H & H

Last day of class with my teacher, R and a few classmates

C and I in Tlaquepaque. A kindred spirit

Looking out over Barranca Huentitan with good friends

Mall outing with my host mom, A, and her daughter 🙂

Mexico City Tour

FAMILY

My Mexico City Group

Museums & Monuments & Magic Moments

From pyramids to giant rollercoasters, I was enormously privileged to have the opportunity to soak up areas with incredible history. Visiting the pyramids of Teotihuacan was one of the most breathtaking of experiences of my life. While only being able to understand bits and pieces from our Spanish speaking tour guides, I was still able to fully imagine the brutal and spectacular ancient and Aztec civilizations that once populated the plains that are now scattered in mysterious ruins. Climbing to the top of the pyramid of the sun and the pyramid of the moon still brings a rush to my heart and a smile to my face as I write to you now.

Mexico City’s Museo Soumaya is a huge art museum encompassed by a gorgeously crafted metal-tiled building. The shinning building twinkles in the sunlight and draws you in to experience the many white floors filled with fine art and artifacts from all over Europe and Asia. Hospicio Cabañas is another art museum that lies right next to El Centro de Guadalajara, which is a cultural explosion of markets, pigeons, food, jewelry, clothing, trinkets, music, glorious buildings and more. The music, which features the works of José Clemente Orozco, was once a hospital and still carries the solemnly stoic essence of just that. I visited this museum by myself one day in an effort to lose myself in the city and I must say that I was often spooked by the haunting beauty of this site. But then again, I am a gentle soul with a wild imagination.

The National Museum of Anthropology, Los Niños Héroes, El Bosque de los Colomos, la Barranca de Oblatos, even the zoo with the cutest squirrel monkeys running wild and free! So many sites observed, history absorbed, and thoughts captured. I wouldn’t change any part of my journey to and from this diverse city.

On top of el piramde del sol overlooking el piramde de la luna

Jose Clemete Orozco Murals

The Palace of the Jaguars, Teotihuacan

Museo Soumaya

Pyramid of the Sun

Ruins of Templo Mayor

Remains of Templo Mayor

Los Niños Héroes

Notes of Culture

The biggest cultural shock that I experienced was of how so much of life in the country occur at later hours than in my area of the United States. Meal times are later, lunch breaks are longer, and it is common for many to spend the late hours of the night communing with friends and loved ones over music, laughter, and yes, more food. This took some time for me to adapt to. My body had to adapt to the later meal times, and my deep grandma spirit had to let loose and stay up past 11 PM on some nights. Of course, I wasn’t forced to stay out late in family gatherings, but I sure would have missed out on many wonderful encounters, friendships made, and a lot of laughter.

Pedestrian laws are sketchy, to say the least, and the streets and bus rides were always an adventure of rushing, staying vigilant as to not miss your stop, and witnessing the fascinating peculiarities of residents’ passions and lives. Still, through getting lost and regaining direction, through the mispronounced words and moments of isolation, I always felt safe. The people were modest, amiable, honest, and just plain fun. Although I am so beyond thankful to now be home and to be able to share these memories with you, I still miss the thunderstorms that would suddenly awaken me in the wee hours of the night. That would dare me to glance through my window and see the dark and angry skies glistening with lightning. I miss having the opportunity to learn something new and extraordinary every single day. But I know that I will one day return. I know that I will forever cherish the land that I have walked through dearly in my heart. And I know that I will always be grateful for the first city that has opened my eyes to the infinite world around me.

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The National Museum of Anthropology

Universidad Autónoma de Guadalajara

Japanese Tea Garden

El Bosque de los Colomos

A cleansing ritual in the middle of Mexico City

Murals along Xochimilco

There and Back Again: What One May Expect

It was ridiculous. I had been dreaming of this for months, yet that morning all I wanted to do was return home. I felt like a zombie walking aboard that plane. Emotionless, and still feeling every emotion possible as my body went ahead, leaving my mind two seconds behind. Of course, I knew that excitement was down there somewhere, buried beneath the shadow of uneasiness and doubt. The cloud was just growing heavy. Yet, I still found a way to push my feet of lead forward. My body powered through with a force that my mind was unaware of and I made my way through to the city and my temporary home.

By the time I arrived, I felt gross from the plane and really just wanted to hide in my room and melt in my missing of everyone back home. But my host family kindly and strongly insisted that I eat and then see around the neighborhood. “Ven, Celina!” my host dad, M, kept calling to me, as I followed him around the crazy streets of the beautiful city. I was trying so hard to capture every word he spoke to me in the hazy and surreal moments as he pointed around to the sites. I had finally made it. I’m grateful for the moments that he captured as I reluctantly posed around these beautiful monuments messy and burning up in my jacket.

The excitement and nerves continued to course through my blood as I began my classes at Universidad Autónoma de Guadalajara and met classmates from different parts of the world. We were all scared to a certain degree, living away from home, trying to learn a new language and adapt to a foreign culture. At first, the days were packed and the nights were lonely. But then something clicked within me. I began to walk forward briskly and then run and then skip my way forward around the city. I embraced the mistakes. Every fumbled and mispronounced word. Every wrong bus route taken. I kept moving forward. Silencing the little shutters of fears that repeatedly attempted to break their way into my reality.

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Plaza Tapatia in El Centro

Teatro Degollado in El Centro

La Barranca de Huentitán

Hospicio Cabañas

Slowly and then all at once, I began to fall for the city. The language became a challenge to be accepted head on instead of a barrier. The craziness that overwhelmed me became the hidden beauty instead of a scary monster. With time, the foreign bed began to feel like a home and the strangers became family. And my heart was warmed by the endless adventures that hid with anticipation down each crowded street. This was meant to be and I wasted no time wondering, I just leapt in.

And then all at once, it was time to return home. It was time to say, “I hope to see you one day soon! Let’s keep in touch,” to previously unknown people who had become the jewels of my support system. Those last few days, I tried not to think about my return and to continue to soak up the time remaining. I rejected the ideas of going home in my heart. It wasn’t time, I wasn’t ready. There was still so much left for me to conquer, so much to learn and see. But my desirous heart could not hinder that plane from arriving. So I took a deep breath and tried to trust that home would feel like home once again. And truthfully, it did. In the grand scheme of things, a month away occurs within the blink of an eye. And even though I miss my darling Perla Tapatía, I am meant to be home. For I have learned more of what I love, more of what I despise, and I only hope that I can use the gained understanding of myself, of others, and of life for the good of those around me. I will tell you that there is a bravery inside me that I knew existed but couldn’t seem to find. I’ve unlocked it and I can’t wait to see and share just where it takes me.

Con Amor,

Celina Kay

Palacio de Bellas Artes, Mexico City

El Catedral en El Central

Teotihuacan

Jocotepec

La Perla Tapatía Dear You, The amount of love that I was shown in Guadalajara was truly breathtaking. It came in swiftly as a force to say, "Celina.

[trendingnewsb]

Couple Order $300-Per-Person Dinner At #7 Restaurant In The World, And Here’s What They Get

Everyone has their dirty pleasures, and this couple has just paid 600 dollars to enjoy a very particular one. A 25-course meal at Gaggan restaurant in Bangkok that’s described as “a journey through modern Indian cuisine in 25 emojis.” I assume that most of us won’t be tasting it soon, so let’s at least have a look at what the number 7 restaurant in the world has to offer, shall we?

According to The World’s 50 Best Restaurants, “Chef Gaggan Anand has consistently transformed his tasting menu, developing conversation-starting dishes like the spherified Yoghurt Explosion and creating a dining experience that reflects the warmth of Thai hospitality in Bangkok.” The innovative establishment has been named No.1 in Asia’s 50 Best Restaurants for three consecutive years!

Scroll down to check out what the couple had, and hurry up if you want to visit the place yourself! Anand plans to close Gaggan in 2020 to open a small restaurant in Fukuoka, Japan, with fellow cook and friend Takeshi ‘Goh’ Fukuyama.

“My wife and I first went to this restaurant on our honeymoon in 2013. It wasn’t very well known then, the concierge at our hotel couldn’t even give us directions (and he was sporting a clef d’ors badge!)

Back then, they had 2 set menus and an a la carte option. We went the first time and had a set menu for about $70 for two and enjoyed it so much we went back a couple of nights later for the à la carte.

For our fourth anniversary, we made the trip back to Bangkok and before we had even booked flights, I had booked us in at this restaurant we had raved about ever since our honeymoon.

When we arrived, the maître d’ told us that we were invited to the chef’s table and did we accept (of course!)

The restaurant has changed a bit in the last four years, renovations etc. and the chef’s table was in the extension to the main restaurant and upstairs. We went upstairs with the 10 other guests and these were the menus placed before us — oh boy!”

“I’ve included another photo which is a bit clearer. The pen marks are where the new wine was to be poured — we couldn’t NOT have the matching wine — and what a fantastic decision that was too. So here it is: 25 (twenty five) courses!”

“Some prep work going on while we waited.”

“Here we have the first course: paan.

Paan is a traditional Indian street food made with betel leaf, a variety of fruits, spices, seeds, and occasionally tobacco.

This paan had a small betel leaf prepared in a light tempura batter and some chilli dabbed on top — a far cry from the paan I had first tasted at about 1am on the streets of Delhi!”

“Ah yes, as Chef Gaggan called it, “the dish that made him famous”.

In 2013, this dish was on his menu, and he says it will be on his last ever menu too.

Simple, although probably not. It is yoghurt (think raita) but spherified. The spherification (and reverse spherification) process is about the combination of a preparation including sodium alginate, and a preparation high in calcium. The sodium alginate and calcium solution react to form a thin skin around your solution and as you put it in your mouth, the yoghurt explodes and you drink it.”

“Here he is, the man himself, Chef Gaggan Anand.

All around nice guy, and just super passionate about making good food using different techniques.

We first met him when we just finished eating at his restaurant the second time and it was raining, so we were waiting out front for a taxi; there was this chef there and he asked us how we enjoyed our meal (it was amazing!) and then we started to discuss politics as the riots had just started. He wished us a good night as we hopped in the taxi and we saw him walk across the road and unlock a BMW — ah, might have been Gaggan that we just spoke to!

Rumour has it that he was a big drive for the Michelin Guide to finally come to Bangkok last year. In a city full of stand out restaurants, he’s been a consistently strong performer and really helped put it on the culinary map, so I can believe those rumours. How many Michelin stars did he get first time around? Just a casual two!”

“So the next course was prawn heads with goo…only kidding!

You know tom yum soup? This is freeze dried prawn head with a concoction in an edible film wrapper which tasted like the most amazing tom yum soup!”

“Three courses down and I’m starving! Oh good, little biscuits then!

These are eggplant wafers. I cannot even begin to describe how painful the process of making these sounds, but I’ll give it a go:

1) roast the eggplants until they’re burned on the outside and cooked inside

2) blast freeze to -40*C

3) freeze dry to remove all moisture (about 4 days)

4) pound into powder, mix with spices and oil to make a dough and cut with cookie cutter

5) put onion chutney in the inside like an oreo

Congratulate the 8-9 chefs who worked on it for 5-6 days before serving to your guests to devour in one bite!”

“Shake your bon bon! Chilli bon bons!

As with everything so far, not too spicy, a very delicate balance of flavours and textures — a beautifully firm but delicate shell with a creamy, slightly spicy inside.”

“This one got me a little. One of my favourite on the menu for sure.

A heartier serve than other portions prior, a meaty dish that really had some great flavours going on.

Apparently it was goat. Brains. What? I’ve eaten brains before and there’s quite a soft texture to them, I remember it being almost creamy which I didn’t think this dish had. On reflection though, I suppose it wasn’t a really meaty texture, just a hint of meaty flavour and a smoothness to the bite after breaking the shell around it.”

“Anyone here au fait with subcontinental cuisine? Does idli sambar sound familiar?

Idli are a type of rice cake and sambar is a lentil-based dish cooked in a tamarind broth giving it a hint of sweetness.

In this instance, the idli were more like rice puffs, soft and very light, while the sambar was a foam which brought the subtle sweetness of the tamarind through with the more noticeable savouriness of the lentil soup.”

“What a dude.

Forget the formality of chef’s whites, Gaggan is a rock star and would prefer to make great food and give guests a good time than try to “look the part”.

Let the food do the talking.”

“Did you notice the jug and bowl in the previous picture? That’s right — liquid nitrogen!

These bad boys are chicken liver and coconut. If I’m being honest, I’ve kinda forgotten the flavours of this dish so I’m terribly sorry.”

“Burgers? Yes please!

I remember one of the sommeliers asking me what my favourite dish was and I didn’t want to say this dish because everyone else had said it, but it was a fantastic little burger. It was probably the surprise factor to an extent — just unassuming and then bam! Really terrific flavours and yet so simple.”

“Fish tacos. Hands down my favourite variety of taco — a nice soft tortilla with perhaps a fresh mango salsa and some beautiful, fresh fish et voilà!

Despite my least favourite taco shell (being a hard one), this was a chance to showcase the quality seafood that you can get in Bangkok. It was a joy to eat.”

“Any guesses?

How about yuzu marshmallow and foie gras?

This marshmallow was really well made (like, REALLY!) it was a little chewy, but only insofar as to offer the slightest resistance as you bit through it and took a small pillow of citrus with your foie gras and wafer. Incredible.”

“At this point, Gaggan walked around asking everyone the same thing: is this cheesecake, or is this fish?

Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French and only said cheesecake because everyone else said fish? This moi.

It was fish. Of course it was fish. It was OBVIOUS it was fish. I just thought that maybe, MAYBE, the obvious answer wasn’t the right answer. What a dweeb.

Well, it was a cheesecake texture, and an interesting take on the fish cake!”

“Uni = sea urchin.

Honestly, not my favourite. People love it, and that’s cool. I’m just not one of them and that’s okay too.

Those little balls on top? Oh hey, welcome back spherification! Those are gin and tonic balls.

Aside from the fact that uni isn’t something I enjoy, I got this dish. It was serving some crisp flavours with the gin and tonic balls (and a bit of sorbet below the uni) to cut through the seafood-y flavour of the sea urchin all served in an easy-to-hold seaweed wrapper.”

“Fresh (I mean prepared right in front of us) medium fatty tuna sushi.

I can’t tell you how good this was — you just have that feeling when you take a bit of something and know that everything is right in this world.”

“14 dishes down. Now for a matcha tea ceremony. I had a video but couldn’t upload it — it’s no problem.

Everyone knows matcha tea, it’s made with…matcha? Well, this was a cold preparation made with asparagus, celery, and some other vegetables and herbs WHICH PERFECTLY REPLICATED THE TASTE OF MATCHA!! This is witchcraft. I honestly couldn’t tell you how surprised I was that he told us we basically just had vegetable soup.”

“You like pork? You like curry with a kick? How about a mouthful-sized serving of pork vindaloo served in a coating of panko breadcrumbs? Yum.”

“Guess who’s wife doesn’t eat scallops so they got to eat the whole dang thing? THIS GUY!

An uncooked curry: yes it was served temperate, yes those scallops were to die for, and yes, that is a quenelle of coconut ice cream which combined with a slightly spicy green chutney to just remind you that this was a curry you were eating.”

“Caged chicken.”

“Oh, actually, it’s quail! I might have tried to convince my wife to let me have her portion of this one too…

Chettinad is a typically spicy curry from southern India, in this instance, that fire was reduced to a marinade before cooking, and then a small dollop of just-spicy-enough goodness beneath the quail breasts.”

“Cooking, it is said, allowed humans’ brains to develop to a higher level than other animals. Gaggan gave a very impassioned talk about cooking food and the impact of cooked food on human development; the thing is that I heard a similar speech earlier in 2017 at the best restaurants in the world presentation when Heston Blumenthal was presented with a lifetime achievement award. His speech was so arduous that I thought he might have been under the influence and my opinion of him certainly dropped several rungs that night.

Anyway, it was a nice talk that Gaggan gave, and certainly an “oooo” moment as he grabbed his crème brûlée torch and lit these bad boys up.”

“So this is Paturi. Paturi is one of those universal dishes which seems to have been simultaneously invented by every civilisation around the world.

Simply, it is cooking something in a banana leaf. This particular specimen was cooked sandwiched between cedar wood, with some rice and fish wrapped in the banana leaf.”

“More fire!

Unfortunately I failed to hear the exact method behind this dish. Essentially, it was this very crisp exterior which mimicked charcoal in texture, with some of this in powdered form on top. What was inside was this creamy asparagus, although not overwhelmingly asparagus flavoured. A really, really interesting dish from a texture perspective.”

“Actually, forget what I said before about my favourite dish. THIS was my favourite dish.

Lobster in a delicately spiced sauce, on top of a dosa (an Indian pancake of sorts). You know how I said I like fish tacos except in the soft tortilla? Yeah, swap the fish and mango salsa for lobster in a curry-style sauce and that’s more like it. I tried stealing the wife’s portion again but almost got my hand bitten off.”

“We got served this box next, wonder what’s inside?”

“Ca-uutteee.

Roses. Hand-made. Out of…beetroot? Well, I couldn’t tell it was beetroot. A shame to destroy someone’s handiwork, but heck, I already ate the eggplant cookie so I didn’t feel that bad.”

“Wait, so curry mango and chocolate?

Not the most outrageous thing I’ve eaten tonight, I’ll try it…of course it’s amazing. It’s exactly what you think will happen when a team of passionate, top-notch chefs put their mind to creating a fusion of something we think of as earthy and spicy, with the sweetness of mango and then have the chocolate sandwich it together.”

“Twist on the Black Forest cake anyone? I forget how the cherries were prepared, but they had that nice tang to them that cherries sometimes get, while the powder melted in your saliva to give a wonderful creamy texture to a classic dessert.”

“Oh hey! Another box!”

“Oh boy! More mango! For someone who loves mangoes, this was a treat.

Ghewar, or ghevar, is a sweet biscuity-cake snack from northern India. In this case, combine this ghewar, which isn’t overly sweet, with a slice of mango to give it a little sweetness kick, results in a divine dessert to close off this epic culinary journey.”

“Overall, it was about a five out of seven (maybe even a 13/10). Would definitely eat there a fourth time to see what Gaggan and his team have devised next.”

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2GjsRZR via Viral News HQ

[passportandplates]

Disclosure: I was a complimentary guest of A Dot in the Blue. All opinions and recommendations are my own. This post also contains affiliate links.

The roar of an engine. The splash of waves. The rays of sun streaming through the window. I jolted awake, confused. Where was I? Then I remembered. I was on a boat. A sailboat, to be exact. It was our first day sailing, so I hurriedly grabbed my camera to capture the remains of the sunrise. Little did I know, I’d be treated to many enthralling sunrises that week.

Magic: waking up at sunrise to the sounds of the waves and the kaleidoscope of colors. There's something about being anchored near a tiny Grecian island that makes these sunrises extra special. Can you tell I'm obsessed with sailing now? Sponsored: @adotintheblue

A post shared by Sally • Food & Travel Writer (@passportandplates) on Aug 27, 2017 at 8:01am PDT

While I’m no five-star hotel diva, I’m hardly the outdoorsy type either. So how did I end up spending a week in Greece, sailing my way through the Ionian Sea with eight others?

Well…

Last fall, by some amazing stroke of luck, my little sister, Nancy, won the first prize in Valerie’s blogiversary giveaway. Her winnings? One spot sailing in Greece with A Dot in the Blue.

The captain and organizer, Fernando, encouraged Nancy to bring a plus one, and a few months later, we were both confirmed to make our Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants dreams come true (although we didn’t visit Santorini this time).

I was, admittedly, a teeny bit nervous about spending a week on a sailboat. I like my modern amenities like unlimited running water, fancy toilets, and 24-hour electricity. Still though, I couldn’t pass up this once in a lifetime opportunity, which is how I found myself on a catamaran at the port of Lefkada, Greece on August 12th.

I had no idea what to expect from sailing so I wrote this handy guide for those considering spending a week sailing in Greece (specifically with A Dot in the Blue). This was my first sailing experience and I have no intention of it being my last. So without further ado, this is what it’s really like to spend a week sailing in Greece.

  Sailing the Greek Islands with A Dot in the Blue

Day 1 and 2: Lefkada

Nancy and I clearly hadn’t done enough research before our trip since we were under the impression that we’d be leaving from Athens, not Lefkada, the port town 5 hours away. Oops. Although Fernando usually hires a bus to transport everyone from Athens to Lefkada, only three of us were actually coming from Athens, so we were driven by Chrysa, our fellow boatmate.

We arrived in the late afternoon and were long overdue for lunch. We headed to Dalton’s for some massive gyros and were joined shortly after by the rest of our boatmates. About half of them were Greek.

After unpacking, we all made our way to the beach for some swimming and bonding time. I was incredibly impressed by the color of the water at Agios Nikitas Beach but Fernando informed me that there’d be even clearer water at some of the islands we’d be visiting. We were in for quite the week!

Sponsored: I'm baaaaack from sailing with @adotintheblue! If there's one thing that's good for the soul, it's being off the grid for a bit. With the exception of a few Instagram stories and Facebook posts, that's exactly what I did this past week, and it was SO relaxing. Now I'm back to sharing all the beautiful shots from my adventures in Greece, starting with this one: the serene and very blue  Agios Nikitas Beach in Lefkada. We spent our first night at the port nearby but took advantage of as much beach time as possible. How insane is this view?

A post shared by Sally • Food & Travel Writer (@passportandplates) on Aug 20, 2017 at 8:02am PDT

Although we were due to set sail the following morning, the windy weather had other plans for us. We took advantage of the day to tan on the boat, explore the town and do grocery shopping for the week. Nancy and I were still a bit jetlagged as we had arrived in Greece just a couple of days before, so we were happy to have the day to relax, eat an early dinner and catch up on sleep. The rest of the crew had a big night out on the town, but no FOMO will get in my way when I’m tired!

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of the engine roaring and the boat moving. Ahoy, matey! We were finally on our way!

  Day 3: Ithaca

We swam and sailed for a few hours before anchoring at the small deserted beach not far from Frikes, Ithaca. With the exception of the few people camping, we had the beach to ourselves. It was a nice and secluded spot where we swam and tanned before cooking lunch on the boat. One of our boatmates, Bora, did an excellent job of navigating all the nooks and crannies of the kitchen.

The part of the island where we were anchored was at the bottom of a small, rocky, cliff, so in order to get to the town, we had to take the dinghy. After swimming and napping all afternoon, we were starving. That evening, we climbed our way up the main road and ended up at this delicious restaurant in town called Rementzo where I had the most amazing goat with apricot (not pictured because I was worried about dropping my camera in the water). Everything we ate was spectacular, including the appetizers, dessert and other people’s meals that I sampled (sharing is caring!). If you ever find yourself in this part of Ithaca, Rementzo is the place to go!

  Day 4: Ithaca

The following day was quite action-packed. We anchored at Vathi, the main port on Ithaca, just in time for lunch. One thing I love about Greeks is that they love to share food, so we always made a point to order a bunch of appetizers for everyone to share before our main meal. We ended up at Kohili with appetizers, meat, seafood – the works. Not only is eating in Greece delicious, but it’s inexpensive as well.

At this point, the group split up and Nancy and I took this as an opportunity to explore the town. We walked all over, marveling at the colored houses, taking photos of the buildings, and stopping for ice cream. When we got back to the boat, a bunch of us decided to go to the beach. It was a bit of a trek from our boat, so we loaded up two dinghies to head in that direction.

Did you ever read The Odyssey in school? This is the same Ithaca Odysseus tried to sail to for 10 years, and with views like this, I don't blame him! It didn't take us quite that long to sail here with @adotintheblue, but I would have happily spent an entire week on this charming island.[Sponsored]

A post shared by Sally • Food & Travel Writer (@passportandplates) on Aug 25, 2017 at 7:01am PDT

Just before we arrived, one of the dinghies ran out of gas, leading to a bit of an afternoon adventure. Fernando went to find gas while the rest of us hiked to the beach. Meanwhile, the wind picked up a ton – meaning we couldn’t swim and Fernando couldn’t use the dinghy #1 to rescue dinghy #2. Let’s just say it ended up taking us a couple of hours to get back to the boat that day. Never a boring moment while sailing in Greece!

By evening, everyone was ready for a real night out on the town – one that didn’t involve us boating to shore. Our big night out started on the boat with music and dancing (until Fernando was finally able to usher us to dinner). Greeks typically eat around 10 pm, but that night we ended up eating around midnight…so we get our gyros fix before the bar instead of after. Greece is definitely a country that comes alive at night so despite the fact that we arrived at 1 am, we were the only ones there. I instructed the DJ that we were there for reggaeton, and once the music improved to my liking, we all danced the night away (some people, quite literally).

  Day 5: Kefalonia

I woke up late that morning but was super excited to discover that we were still at the port so I could get my espresso freddo (iced coffee) fix. We had a late start and had a long day of sailing ahead, so we stopped a few times to swim and cool off along the way. By the time we arrived at Antisamos in Kefalonia, it was nearly 7 pm…and the restaurants all close at 8 (not very Greek of them!). It was hilarious to see how quickly everyone got moving and ready once we all realized that it was our only food option for the night. Everyone was pretty tired that evening, so we all hung out on the boat for a bit before heading to bed early.

The jump! 💦 #adotintheblue2017 #adotintheblue #sailing #greece #greecestagram #welovegreece_ #thegreeceguide

A post shared by A Dot In The Blue (@adotintheblue) on Aug 18, 2017 at 7:25am PDT

  Day 6: Kefalonia

Luckily for me, most of the group was just as addicted to caffeine as I am, so most of our mornings included coffee runs. Some of the others rented jet skis for a bit, but I have a clumsy tendency to fall off moving vehicles and was happy with a few minutes as a passenger instead. That afternoon, we sailed to Assos, another part of Kefalonia. A few people opted to go to the beach, but the rest of us decided to explore the town and climb up to the Agios Georgios Castle instead. We didn’t realize just how long it would take and by the time we arrived at the castle, Nancy and I were *super* hangry (we hadn’t had lunch that day). The views from the castle were pretty (I couldn’t get a great photo since it was so dark) but we were both only thinking about dinner at that point. Luckily, we ran into the rest of the group once we got back to the main part of town, and had a really nice (last) group dinner together. We ended our night at the local ice cream shop before heading back to the boat.

Exploring the town

Beaches and boats

Sunset views

  Day 7: Lefkada

Unfortunately, this was our last full day with A Dot in the Blue and it was very bittersweet. We arrived back to Lefkada in the late afternoon, only to discover that three of our boatmates were returning home that evening rather than the next day. We spent the rest of the day hanging out, packing up, and cleaning up the boat. We enjoyed one final group dinner at Lighthouse Tavern, followed by drinks at Taratsa, an incredibly cool outdoor lounge. It was the truly the perfect end to the week, which suddenly felt far too short.

Epic sunset time lapse from our last night on @adotintheblue courtesy of @bxk1 😍🌅. Home now but already planning my next trip back to Greece! [Sponsored]

A post shared by Sally • Food & Travel Writer (@passportandplates) on Sep 2, 2017 at 8:35am PDT

The next morning, we took our group photos, said our goodbyes, and made our way back to Athens.

  Why go sailing with A Dot in the Blue?

Greece is paradise.

Just type in “Ionian Islands” into Google images, and you’ll get an eyeful of the crystal-clear water and soft, sandy beaches. Or check out A Dot in the Blue’s Instagram account. I’ll let the pictures do the talking.

You haven't missed the boat! Alone or with your friends book now your trip here: www.adotintheblue.com #adotintheblue #adotintheblue2017 #cruising #sailing #summer #sea #fun #greece #greecestagram #thegreeceguide #welovegreece__

A post shared by A Dot In The Blue (@adotintheblue) on Jul 21, 2017 at 9:55am PDT

  Sailing is a blast (even for introverts)!

A few years ago, a friend of mine did a similar sailing trip in Croatia, and when she told me about it, my first thought was “that doesn’t sound very fun.” I’m an introvert and was nervous that I would feel obligated to hang out and party with people 24/7. To my delight (and surprise), the entire week felt very at my own pace. I read when I wanted to, ate when I wanted to, and went out (or not) when I wanted to. I never felt pressured to do what I didn’t want to do (which happens often on group trips), which made me love the experience and group that much more. That being said – Greece certainly knows how to show you a good time, and the trip was the best mix of good food (and coffee!), amazing beaches, and lively parties.

  You’ll be supporting local travel.

When given the option of traveling with a US company and a local company, I always choose a local company for two main reasons. Firstly, the money I spend goes directly into the hands of locals and the local economy (yay sustainable tourism!). And secondly, locals know their own city way better than any foreign tour guide. In the case of A Dot in the Blue, Fernando (captain and owner) grew up in Greece and spent his summers sailing. August is the height of tourist season in Greece, but the islands we visited weren’t overcrowded because we went where the locals went. WIN.

Midweek or mid-sea? What would you choose? 😜 #magerakisphotography #adotintheblue2017 #adotintheblue #sailing #cruising #sea #summer #greece #greecestagram

A post shared by A Dot In The Blue (@adotintheblue) on Sep 13, 2017 at 6:58am PDT

Safety comes first.

On our first two days, we didn’t leave the port due to windy conditions. Fernando took our safety very seriously and although we could have still sailed anyway, the trip would have been uncomfortable and stressful. Instead, Fernando arranged for beach days and exploring in the town rather than risk our safety on the water, something we all appreciated. Additionally, all boats included both a captain and local skipper. I know skippers aren’t always mandatory depending on the company, but this was not the case with A Dot in the Blue.

  Most expenses are included.

Your booking with A Dot in the Blue includes almost all of your costs: port fees, fuel, the skipper, final boat cleaning, etc. The only costs not included are food (and quality food is super affordable in Greece). We ate most dinners at port and the rest of the meals and snacks on the boat. Our crew went grocery shopping twice and split the cost at the end of the trip, which made everything easy.

  You’ll make new friends.

Cue the cheesy “awwww” here, but I’m totally serious. Our group is already discussing plans to do this again next year.

A Dot In the Blue 2017 | Week 2 has ended but memories last forever! Thank you all! #adotintheblue2017 #adotintheblue #sailing #summer #sea #greece

A post shared by A Dot In The Blue (@adotintheblue) on Aug 23, 2017 at 8:38am PDT

  Other things to note:

Leave your floaties at home – Fernando brought along several floaties and a paddleboard. Do bring snorkeling and diving gear, though.

Everyone pitches in to cook and clean up during the week.

There’s no WiFi on the boat, but you can purchase an inexpensive SIM card in Greece and get signal everywhere. But honestly, just disconnect and enjoy #boatlife.

Bring a back-up battery or two. There was one plug on that boat that worked all the time (the plugs in the room worked intermittently depending on the port we were docked in). With 9 people and 20-30 electronics, the thirst for charging was real.

Sailing essentials include swimsuits, sunscreen and obnoxious unicorn floaties. This week with @adotintheblue was pretty much bliss. (Sponsored)

A post shared by Sally • Food & Travel Writer (@passportandplates) on Aug 23, 2017 at 7:02am PDT

  What to Pack for Sailing in Greece:

First of all, pack lightly! You’ll spend most of your day in your swimsuit anyway. Clothing wise, you really only need pajamas and some cute, lightweight outfits for dinner and going out. Also, storage is extremely minimal on the boat, so don’t bring anything larger than a soft, carry-on size bag. I recommend the CabinZero backpack (get 10% off with code CZPASSPORTANDPLATES).

Sponsored: My little sister doing what she does best: "borrowing" things of mine she likes…without permission. My revenge? Making her be my @cabinzero backpack model while staring out at the Acropolis. She's a pretty good supermodel too <3. Thanks again for this chic and sturdy bag #cabinzero. Both my sister and I are obsessed.

A post shared by Sally • Food & Travel Writer (@passportandplates) on Aug 21, 2017 at 8:59am PDT

Travel insurance: Because accidents can happen.

Goggles

Cute and sturdy waterproof sandals. Don’t even think about bringing high heels or non-waterproof shoes. On the boat, you’ll go barefoot but there will be times you’ll take the dinghy to shore, walk through the water to get to the beach, and traipse through towns. Bring sandals are comfortable and waterproof like these or these.

Multi-port charger: Your boatmates will thank you.

Dry bag: You might think you don’t need a dry bag, but the number of times we were transported to the island in a dinghy made me incredibly thankful to have one.

Lifeproof phone case: Because boats and phones don’t mix well.

GoPro + waterproof case

Waterproof selfie stick

Sunscreen: Honestly just buy a giant bottle once you get to Athens and use it all week on the boat. It’s much easier than bringing a bunch of travel sized ones.

Earplugs: My group wasn’t loud enough to warrant these but just in case.

Other things to bring: swimsuits, swimsuit cover ups, a lightweight towel, a hat, sunglasses, outfits for the evening, pajamas, underwear, makeup, and toiletries.

  Book it!

Sailing is the experience you never knew you wanted to do. You’ll disconnect from real life, experience gorgeous landscapes, swim in crystal clear waters, and marvel at epic sunrises and sunsets. If you’re looking for a fun-filled, relaxing weeklong trip in Greece, I highly recommend A Dot in the Blue. Now that I’ve gotten my first taste of sailing, it’s something I want do again and again.

You can find more information and book your trip here and learn how to get a cheap flight with my handy tips. If you have any questions about my experience and/or about sailing with A Dot in the Blue, feel free to ask me!

Tell me: Is Greece on your bucket list? Would you consider doing a sailing trip? Share in the comments below!

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Sailing Greece: Exploring Greek Islands with A Dot in the Blue Disclosure: I was a complimentary guest of A Dot in the Blue. All opinions and recommendations are my own.