#CEO Murder

[logorrhea5mip]

-quote by Friedrich Engels

[destiel-news-network]

(Source)

[axmxz]

at the UnitedHealthcare CEO assassination trial, i want dozens of mail carriers to burst into the courtroom lugging huge sacks of letters, Miracle on 34th Street-style, but all the letters are UnitedHealthcare denying coverage to dying patients

[olailamajnoon]

Batman, arresting Harley for the umpteenth time: You're going to prison, Quinn.

Harley: You know what I was thinking?

Batman: what.

Harley: That you don't send me to prison. *grins*

Batman:...

Batman: I have no idea what to say to that.

Harley: No, think about it! I could wear my sexy nurse outfit and you me and kitty could have some fun!

Batman: *sighs* As appealing as that prospect is,....

Harley: *low squeal*

Batman: No.

Harley: You need a therapist who can fuck you and tell you about your mommy issues at the same time

Batman: I don't think anyone ever in the history of humanity has needed that.

Harley: (begging) Come on, Bats. They drug me in there! It gets all...spooky sometimes. Not your kind of spooky, the bad kind.

Batman: *hesitating*

Harley: And they feed me pea soup! PEA SOUP!! *kicks a rock and starts crying*

Batman: Quinn, you should have thought of that before you ran away with Ivy and killed the CEO of FutureTech.

Harley, pleading: That was Ivy, not me!

Batman: Uh huh.

Harley: She said he was a plant murderer. And I gotta admit, I wasn't feeling too good myself about him dumping all that toxic waste in the Amazon.

Batman: When things like this happen, you come to me.

Harley: You've never shown interest in plant shit before.

Batman, pinching the bridge of his nose: I can handle it. I know how important 'plant shit' is to Ivy and you. It's important to me too. That's why, next time, before you murder someone, let me handle it legally by scaring the shit out of them first. Okay?

Harley: *hiccups* okay.

Batman: Now. I'll talk to the Arkham parole board about your early conditional release. But I will make sure they give you some truly, spectacularly, horribly disgusting community service.

Harley, desperate: No. Not the garbage route again.

Batman, smiling grimly: Oh it gets worse. Trust me. *begins typing into his phone*

Harley: Oh my god I think I'll just do my time. I'm not going into the trash cans, you don't know the kind of shit people throw out! I think I'll just take my meds and stare at the walls instead.

Batman, looking up from his phone: I'm afraid that ship has sailed. *smiles evilly*

Harley: Oh my fucking shit you monster!

Batman: Remember that feeling the next time your trigger finger itches to pop off a human being.

Harley, gritting her teeth: It's itching now, bitch!

Batman, smugly: Good.

[m1lkc4p]

rip Nathan ford you would’ve probably loved what’s going on with United Healthcare rn

[359midnightburgers]

I'm seeing a lot of 'I used to know Luigi in high school' and 'I met Luigi at a party once' and not a lot of 'I used to see Luigi at my house on the whole of Dec 4th 2024'. Come on guys, have a bro's back.

[scrawlingwithstyle]

I imagine that one day, years from now, after the guy who killed the CEO is dead, they're finally going to figure out who it was, and a bunch of people are going to tell their kids/grandkids, "Oh, yeah, I knew it was him. None of us were gonna snitch though. Gotta keep the oligarchy on its toes."

[random-group-of-crows]

So lesson learned don't trust a fucking McDonald's employee

[maifrenthebesto]

Yooo they just identified the C*O vigilante, and his name is LUIGI

Know what that means?

[thestuffieguardian]

Oh boy I've been looking forward to reposting THIS masterpiece

You made a deal with the devil in a bloodbath

Now there's a price on your head, seal the contract

Automatic, systematic

We want our pound of flesh and we slice thick

Kill 'em all, kill 'em all, no successors

Flip the script and oppress the oppressors

Finding strength as we sift through the carnage

We want our pound of flesh and we'll take it

You fucking fascist

You fucking pig

You sit back as we collapse, packaged up and sold for scraps

Evade the butcher's tax, then write us off

And it's hard to stop the bleeding, hung from hooks and barely breathing

But we'll break, break, break down the wall again

You tell your stories of the things that you've been through

But they're as false as the teeth that you lie through

Nobody's buying, but you sell, sell, sell

In the land of the free, you're a slave to your wealth, oh

[ferdifz]

If anything Rural America has suffered under privatized healthcare, too... Now I don't condone lawless murder no but I cannot say I can't understand the taste for blood some of these insurance-denied people may be feeling...

---

Bonus link: to explain in context all those McDonald's employee memes: https://www.axios.com/2024/12/09/luigi-mangione-unitedhealthcare-ceo-shooting-altoona

Mangione was detained at a McDonald's in Altoona, Pennsylvania. A McDonald's employee who recognized Mangione called local police. He was carrying multiple fraudulent IDs, a U.S. passport, a gun and a suppressor consistent with those used in the attack. The Altoona Police Department confirmed in a press release that Mangione was arrested on charges unrelated to Thompson's shooting.

something interesting is happening

[359midnightburgers]

Put in the tags what part of your internet history would get memed the hardest if you went down for a crime that unites a splintered society

[qupritsuvwix]

https://www.reuters.com/world/us/investigators-question-man-connection-with-unitedhealth-exec-killing-reports-say-2024-12-09/

[ifisawyoueverydayforeverwill]

How the meaning has changed over time...

maybe i shouldn’t respond to wrong number texts any more

[majdnews]

مطاردة قاتل رئيس UnitedHealthcare: صور جديدة ورصاص منقوش

مطاردة قاتل ‍رئيس التأمين تدخل يومها الثاني: الشرطة تكشف عن صور جديدة وتُعلن مكافأة (كلمات مفتاحية: ⁢نيويورك، شرطة نيويورك، إطلاق نار، بريان طومسون، يونايتد هيلث، مكافأة، مشتبه به) دخلت عملية البحث عن ⁢قاتل رئيس التأمين بريان طومسون يومها الثاني، حيث كشفت إدارة شرطة نيويورك عن صور جديدة تُظهر وجه المشتبه به بوضوح أكبر، داعيةً الجمهور للمساعدة في التعرف عليه. ‍ وأعلنت الشرطة عن ⁤مكافأة قدرها…