#CAN MY ADHD FUCKING COOPERATE

[coldblooded-angel]

HOW IS THE CATTONQUICK ROCKSTAR AU??? GOING? PLEASE ELABORATE MORE ON THE BRAIN ROT

OH IM SO SORRY FRIEND 😭😭 its currently on hold cuz I’m writing monster hunter! felix au (and godamn the au list is LENGTHY) BUT I CAN GIVE MORE BRAINROT MMMHMM

Oliver comes from a conservative traditional family and hes their “black sheep” but only in secret cuz im placing this au in the 80s wheb rock n roll was THE DEVILS MUSIC

He escapes out the window and dresses in the sluttiest leather fits and mesh he can find. He mostly gets inspo from the other girl groupies, the ones that get pulled backstage

Also hes got secret piercings (on his nipples) definitely and a tramp stamp (think trashy im ur baby type shit)

He is just as obsessive so he has to sometimes hide from security cuz he has been caught a few times sneaking into the tour van/bus and their hotel rooms

He’s got the most disgusting collection of Felix things. Im talking cigarette butts, gum, condoms, guitar picks, underwear, a sweet towel. Mfer has drunk that mans backwash out of a bottle he is nasty 🫶

He also deals drugs (it’s how he gets close enough to Ven and Farls) uses it to steal hotel cards or to snoop of their phones for shit about Felix

He sends the most. Freaky. Graphic. Disturbing fan mails and i mean CRAZY SHIT the usual delusions of him being Felix’s soulmate and how Felix will fall for him and then also lists down all of his own qualities that Felix would love. Drops a couple of nude polas so Felix knows what he’s working with and a splash of his cologne (which is the compliment to the one Felix wears cuz duh of course he knows that)

Oliver is delusional as fuck he will physically fight any bitch that says she is Felix’s wife cuz um no hoe THAT IS ME. And he has also definitely been kicked out of venues for these fights

He box bleaches his hair blonde like crispy fry cuz Felix daid in an interview that his ideal type is blue eyes and blonde hair. Oliver’s mother has a heart attack and makes him pray the gay away

OKAY I might go on forever if I don’t stop here but groupie! Ollie is my babygirl fanboy he is #1 Felix shooter that man will fight ANYONE for him. (I hope this was good enough for now🫶🫶)

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Man, sometimes living alone with ADHD really do be like:

Me: Huh, I wonder why I'm so shaky and tired and seeing spots everywhere

Also me: *hasn't eaten food in two days, hasn't had water in just as long, has been hunched over current hyper fixation for hours without moving, hasn't seen sunlight in days*

Me: .... Just one of life's great mysteries I suppose

[coloursofaparadox]

im still not over the sleep thing one sec i gotta rant about this shit

[unimportantweirdo]

it is... endlessly frustrating when you know you have the capacity to do something but not the brain

i can write songs! and play guitar! and if i tried i bet you i'd be good at making those songs into something half decent i could release!

but no, the adhd is keeping me firmly in front of videos, not letting me have a modicum of control because i was busy earlier

[mylkteith]

i love never being able to get more than 6.5 hours of sleep every work night because my roommate doesn't know the definition of the word quiet

[vickyzangels]

hii!! can you write smut about tom were you're sucking his dick for the first time? hes just looking down at your teary eyes and getting more and more turned on GAHHWD🤕🙏

% “always be my boy, i'll always be your girl.”

# synopsis ; what the ask said‼️‼️

# pairing ; tom kaulitz x reader

# word count ; 490

# tags ; nsfw (mdni), oral (m receiving), degradation, should’ve pumped this bitch out in a day but i got stressed while procrastinating it and adhd made me deep clean my bathroom instead (who knew bleach could make a tub smell like a public chlorine pool) so who knows if its bad

a/n ; i’m hitting post and running away this was so bad I’M VOMITTINH

tom is a head pusher. you probably would have gathered that if you assumed based off what he’s said in his interviews before, but nothing could’ve prepared you to be kneeling in front of him for what was close to a consecutive hour. do you remember what led up to this point? no, if that doesn’t count giving each other hickeys almost aggressively after a big interview on a show.

regardless, you were practically being used. head rolled back, offering a view of tom’s jawline as he groaned up into the air about how you were on your knees letting him fuck into your mouth with your hands braced against his legs. you’d been doing nothing but letting him use you, gagging around his length as reward for cooperating so well.

spit from your mouth starts to spill down your chin, mirroring the tears and whatever smoky makeup you had put on before the show from your eyes actively running down your face. your gagging starts to get a little louder from his quickening pace, and in taking notice, he looks down to mock and smile at you.

“..was für eine schmutzige hure.” what a dirty whore.

he groans, making sure to emphasize each word with a hard thrust down your relaxed throat, “take it, take it all like a good girl since you want it so bad.”

and you do. maybe it was the way the interviewer kept making sly advances towards your boyfriend the entire time, and yet he dodged every one of them so naturally but he even made sure to mention you in nearly every answer he could, maybe that was why you wanted his thick cock in your mouth so bad.

through your eyes rolling back and tom hitting the back of your throat over and over again, you gathered enough composure to start swirling and lapping your tongue around his length, keeping extra attention aside to keep your cheeks hollow.

his thrusts faltered a bit, his hips slowing down stuttering but nevertheless still rocking himself into your mouth. continuing his pace, both hands you braced on his legs slid up to paw at his length and pull your head back to the tip just to fall back to the hilt of his cock. tom’s guidance began to fall short, moving to just rest on your head while you started to control the moving.

the simple up-and-down motion evolved into a maneuvering to give special attention to his tip and make space for your hands that stroked and rubbed with the pace of your lapping, using spit that spilled from your mouth to make a messy lube.

if you told tom from however long ago that you weren’t sucking the soul out of his dick that you’d never gave a blowjob before and were later going to give him possibly the most earth-shattering orgasm of his life with little to no guidance, he might’ve laughed.

a/n ; long time no seeeeee 😋😋 im not even gonna lie to you guys cause this is tumblr i dont have to live in fear >:( but i did suck dick to method write for this, love you guyssss

a/n 2 ; if yg on my taglist dont fw the tagging anymore lmk i’ll take you off‼️

© ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO VICKYZANGELS. do not steal, repost, plagiarize, or use my work for anything.

taglist ; @lixs-l4cefairy @imabitchh @arquiiva @verelace @iovemoonyy @bl1ngringz

[jcollinswrites]

How the fudge are you writting so fast??? I sit down to write and end up with nothing or reworking plot instead of writing 😭Have any tips you want to share? Perhaps the ingredients to the dark ritual you perform to get the motivation and remain focused 👀👀👀

So, first of all, you'll need half a newborn, shaken, not stirred…

lol jk (don't shake babies)

Believe it or not I'm the same as you, so here are some stuff that helped me tremendously, especially with my squirrel ADHD brain:

NUMBER ONE that I needed 20 years to learn, is that… forget editing, man. You can't edit if there is nothing to edit, so first you have to sit ya ass down and just fuckin' do it. It doesn't matter if it's shit at first. It's called work in progress for a reason. Who cares if it's shit? You can edit it LATER when the whole thing is already done. What you're reading in my game is literally my first draft. Lots of scenes might change later. In fact, I'm already changing scenes in the background, I'm just not always telling you. It doesn't matter. If anyone gives you shit for it, tell them to kindly fuck right off.

Have a plan for the book (written down. Not just in your head). Don't even start writing until you have a plan for the entire book. It doesn't have to be detailed. Mine is just bulletpoints, but you should know which chapter will contain what, including plot points, character development, relationship progress etc, otherwise you'll get lost, especially in a big IF. And then as you get closer to the next chapter, you can work out more details in the plan to help the actual writing.

If you don't feel like writing a scene, then don't write it. Leave a placeholder word there (I use 'mandarin' because that word likely won't come up anywhere else in the text), and instantly move on to another scene that you have inspiration for. Later, you can just search for 'mandarin' and add the scene when you feel like it. If you accidentally come across any MANDARINs in my game, that's the reason lol.

If you are writing an IF, it helps to start simple. Write the story until a choice comes up, then write the title of the choices, and continue ONLY with the route you feel the most inspired for atm (use mandarin for the rest). Don't let your momentum die by getting bogged down in choices. That's why I have so many greyed out choices when I start a new origin or chapter. I just write write write until the end of the chapter, THEN I go back to whatever choice is the simplest to add, and put the variations in the already-existing text if needed. Repeat until all the choices are written and coded in. This way, the text might feel more organic too, because you already have a pre-written skeleton that you can just add variations in.

Keep notes. It helps to have them on paper, next to you, so f.ex. when you make 9 different deities to choose from, you don't have to go back to the beginning of the chapter every single time to look up which deities those were and what they mean, you can simply turn your head to the side lol.

Take regular breaks. Exercise, stretch. Keep a daily schedule. Eat and drink enough. Try to keep a good health. Your brain won't work if it's starved.

Know yourself and your habits, and be honest with yourself. I know of myself that once I start working on the big plot points, I won't have any motivation to come back to the beginning again. That's why I'm writing all the origin stories first, because I know that if I start going into chapter 2, I definitely won't feel like coming back to start yet another route from the very beginning. So if you don't feel like doing something, then just… don't do it. Or do it simpler. Do it smarter. Trick that asshole brain into cooperating.

Last but not least, guys, 90% of my motivation COMES FROM YOU! Your engagement, your messages, your feedback, every little interaction is what keeps me going! So write me! I will answer! (if you aren't a dick). Literally, about anything. Even if it's just "hey I really liked this small detail here", that will already make my day, seriously. I LOVE talking about my work, and I'm pretty sure every author is like that, so keep engaging with writers, because that's 90% of the reason when a novel gets finished! I'm writing for YOU! Your enjoyment, your fun, because I love telling stories, but those stories don't mean anything if no one is reading them.

[cartoonistcoop]

ShortBox Comics Member Interview: Sloane Hong

Throughout the month of October, the Cartoonist Cooperative will be sharing interviews with members of the Co-op who have a new comic available at the ShortBox Comics Fair 2024! 

NOTE: The Cartoonist Cooperative is not affiliated, associated, authorized, endorsed by, or in any way formally connected with ShortBox.  

Today’s spotlight is Sloane Hong ( @plaest2k ) and their new comic for ShortBox, Expiry Date.

We’d love it if you could introduce yourself and tell us about your background in comics.

Sloane Hong: Kia ora, my name is Sloane Hong (she/her), I’m a Korean-tauiwi illustrator, comic artist and tattooer based in Aotearoa, New Zealand. I only started making comics professionally about five years ago but they’ve always been a significant part of my life for as long as I can remember.

Tell us more about your new comic?

SH: Expiry Date is an erotic, body horror, sci-fi short story about coming home from a long day at your shitty, minimum-wage job, crashing on your couch and fantasizing about how fucking good it would feel to just die.

I mean, it’s also about transness, labour rights, our relationship with our bodies and death under capitalism, etc but it’s mostly about shitty jobs.

My friend described it as “what if David Cronenberg was a transsexual dyke who grew up reading ero-guro”.

What are some early experiences as a cartoonist that shaped you or your process?

SH: My brother’s also an artist, probably better than I could ever be, and I basically owe any good taste I might have to him. Growing up, I always got home from school first so I’d sneak into his room to admire his drawings and read his comics. He had most of the usual stuff you’d find on any Korean kid’s shelf in the 90’s: Akira Toriyama, Masamune Shirow, Yoshito Usui, etc, and a couple of Korean manhwa that are all now damn-near impossible to find. As he got older, he started getting into American comics and brought home stuff like R. Crumb, Daniel Clowes, Fletcher Hanks, etc from the library.

But it’s not just that I had someone to introduce me to all this stuff, it’s the fact I’m six years younger than him and he was already reading this stuff earlier than most. So I think I started looking at all those misanthropic underground comics by horny white men when I was, like, what… about 10 years old?

Besides my brother, the trauma of working shitty jobs for years on end, The Terrible Boredom of Paradise, and this weird and fucked up miracle we call life are probably the wellsprings of both my inspiration and ceaseless burnout. 

Tell us about your creative process; how did you develop this comic and what are the steps you took to bring it to the final stage?

SH: I did something really stupid for the 2023 ShortBox Comics Fair. I have ADHD and one of the many ways it manifests is that I have a debilitating habit of overthinking my stories. “Are the themes too obvious? Is it too heavy handed? Are the motivations for this character clear enough? Is this the right way to phrase this? Is this the right word? Is this the right letter? Is this the right punctuation?” etc, etc.

On paper, it probably sounds like something every writer goes through but when I say debilitating, I mean interferes-with-my-ability-to-live-a-normal-life-kind of debilitating. It’s kind of impossible to articulate how bad it was but it got to a point where I was so sick of myself and all the stories I never finished that I said fuck it–maybe if I just jump into a comic with nothing but a stupid premise, no planning and an impending deadline, I won’t have time to think about all these inconsequential details. So I sat down and forced myself to write, pencil and ink a comic, page-by-page.

It was essentially an exercise in automatism: I was still thinking about draftsmanship, composition, flow and everything but I kinda just let the story tell itself by writing/ drawing whatever felt like a natural progression for the narrative.

That was how I ended up with Marrow, which was kinda funny because the whole point was to make a goofy, low-stakes comic about nothing to circumvent the pressure of having to write anything good. Instead I’d inadvertently made something that was layered and deeply intimate and won the sci-fi category in the 2024 Minicomic Awards. But, more importantly, the whole process helped bring everything together. It reminded me of something I used to tell young artists: developing a style isn’t something you really set out to do, it’s something that just happens. You don’t practice drawing to get better at drawing; you do it to better channel your voice. It’s only when you can stop thinking about how to move your hand that your heart can take the lead.

I’d forgotten my own advice. I was so concerned about the technical details of how to write a story that I was basically assembling components rather than writing anything at all. Marrow helped me realize I’d already internalized everything I needed to write long ago. I just needed to stop thinking.

Expiry Date was a continuation of that process and made in basically the same way. There was just significantly less stress involved now that I knew I could trust myself.

Mostly.

Read the rest of the interview HERE! And dont forget to check out the Shortbox Comics Fair to support these lovely creators!!

[eggiesins]

Sandrock Bachelorettes Being Drunk

Mild NSFW so minors DNI!

So many notes on my Bachelors headcanon post! Thank you guys so much!  Anyways, as (one) kind soul requested, here are the bachelorettes!  I did my best to capture their unique traits, but unfortunately, the dateable women in Sandrock are written more subtly (flat) than the men.  Without such extreme personalities (Elsie and Catori notwithstanding) it was much more difficult to think of unique scenarios the ladies would shine in.

Amirah

To date, no one in Sandrock has ever actually seen Amirah get drunk, and most would speculate that it’s simply something she’s never done.  Being the parentified older sibling to Arvio, she places a strong emphasis on personal responsibility.  That being said, someone get this girl a drink, please!  Of all the bachelorettes, she could probably use one the most.

But once she does decide to let loose - maybe a Fleeting Youth Tea Society meeting got out of hand - boy does she relax.  Sober Amirah scolds Arvio, Drunk Amirah goes on an hour long rant with Pablo taking notes in the background giggling with glee.  Did she mean anything she said?  Of course not, but a girl needs to vent sometimes.  She’s a very flip-flop kind of drunk, though.  Once the tipsy euphoria hits, you can bet she’s dancing around the saloon with reckless abandon, laughing at anything and everything.  Her usually reserved personality gives way to a sloppy wholesomeness and she’ll spend the night latched onto Heidi and the Builder just laughing and hugging and reminding them all just how much she loves them.

She’s gonna be extra harsh with Arvio the next day, so be prepared for him to show up at the workshop asking why his sister hates him now.

Catori

I know a lot of fans aren’t huge on Catori because of how messy she comes across.  But a struggling businesswoman, divorced with a kid, whose idea of rebuilding Sandrock means installing roller coasters in a monster-infested canyon.  That’s it.  I just love messy characters who pour their heart and soul into their dreams.

Anyway, Catori is no stranger to partying by any means.  Again, she has a kid.  She’s not exactly naive or reserved, so when she drinks, it’s really just her natural personality getting amped up a bit.  She’s pitching her latest drunken business idea to anyone and everyone in the saloon because you never know which tourist might secretly be a bazillionaire in disguise.

“Oh Builder, it’s you!  I was just looking for you!  I’ve come up with a great show idea for Catori World.  We’ll have a separate building set up with all kinds of games just for adults.  There’ll be dice and card games, and customers can put their own money on the line for a chance to win big from the house!  How exhilarating!”  “...Catori that’s a casino.  You want to build a casino.  I don’t know how well the Church would respond to something like that in Sandrock.”  “Oh Fuck the Church.  They’ll be on board as soon as they see how much profit it’ll bring in for the whole town!”  “Catori, no”

Elsie

Elsie wants to get drunk.  No one else in Sandrock wants Elsie to get drunk.  She’s already a serial prankster and a furry when sober.  Who knows how far she’ll go with no inhibitions?  She’s definitely getting drunk by sneaking into Cooper’s premium Yakmel milk supply before she knocks on Mi-an’s door at 3am dressed in a full homemade catsuit.  She’ll spend the next hour trying to make herself purr and climbing all over Mi-an’s furniture before bolting out the door to try and scare Owen as he walks home from the saloon.

Seriously, it’s like she develops super ADHD when she drinks, never focusing on anything for more than 5 seconds before something shiny catches her attention and she’s pouncing on it.  Light help her when she decides to go for a night-time horseback ride across the desert.  She’s 100% gonna wake up near Gecko station surrounded by concerned Penskies, but Logan or Larry will find her soon enough and take her home to an annoyed and frightened Cooper.  He’s been preparing her lecture for the better part of four hours.

Grace

She makes the best drinks in Sandrock, hell, in probably all of the Free Cities.  But she never seems to get drunk, ever.  Years of training and building up resistances to different poisons and intoxicants while working for the Alliance make it very difficult for her.

If the builder is dating her, though?  She’ll feel comfortable enough to let her walls down and drink plenty.  Even Grace doesn’t know what to expect from herself when she starts drinking, so strap in.  She’ll only drink heavily at home with the builder, and once she is drunk, she’s nonstop cuddling with all the pets.  Once the builder starts feeling left out and tries to join the cuddle pile, her attitude shifts drastically.

“Hey Builder?” she’ll ask, standing up to look over the builder before just grabbing the collar of their shirt and staring them dead in the eye.  

“Yeah Grace?”

“I’m gonna take your virginity now.”

“...huh?!  Grace, I’m not a virgin.  You know this.”

“I don’t care; your virginity is mine and I’m taking it.  Right now.”

Hold on for dear life, Builder.  You’re in the Light’s hands now

Heidi

Drunk Heidi is a Smash-or-Pass/Would-You-Rather/Never-Have-I-Ever goddess.  She’s quick with the prompt, and her Would You Rather questions are always the most morally or philosophically devastating you’ve ever heard.

“Builder, if me and your mom somehow switched bodies and you had to sleep with one of us to switch things back, would you rather choose your mom in my body or me in your mom’s body?”  Cue distraught Builder noises ‘cause what the fuck, man.

She is, in a word, relentless when drunk, chasing Qi around the saloon trying to get him to finally admit out loud that he’s obsessed with Gungam, making (welcomed) passes at the builder any chance she gets, and man oh man, does she have some choice words for Master Verna.  

I definitely see her as the type to get ridiculously flirty and handsy with the builder for the whole walk back to the workshop, only to immediately pass out on the couch when they get there.  

Jane

Tomorrow is gonna be a “watch a movie” day at school for the kids, Jane already knows.  She’s 6 Yakmel daiquiris deep and showing no signs of stopping.  Why does she drink like a monster?  Who knows?  Knowing why wouldn’t change the fact that she’s doing it anyway.  

She’s definitely making the Blue Moon stage hers for the night, spouting endless play renditions, sometimes switching into her regular teaching lectures, and re-enacting Old World historical events.  She’ll sit at a booth with Ernest for a while hammering out ideas for new plays and novels, maybe even how to incorporate Ernest’s novels into a creative writing lesson.

(Jane, I’m sorry your entry is short.  We don’t get to know much about you other than that you’re a teacher and an actress.)

Mi-an

Mi-an is a very nervous and kind character, so I could see her being hesitant about drinking, and especially getting drunk…at first.  As soon as the buzz and tipsiness start to kick in, it’s a whole new side to her.  She’s singing on the blue moon stage with Jane (making out with Nia in a corner), helping out Elsie with pranks, and generally indulging in shenanigans she might overthink when sober. 

I think Mi-an would actually like being drunk once she’s done it once or twice, like any gifted student as soon as they get to college.  It’s an easy way to turn off her everyday anxieties and just live in the moment.  She’s definitely still trying to fix everything around town, though.  Sober or not, this woman is determined to work herself to death.  Owen has to kick her out one night after she starts a one-woman builder cruise inside the saloon at 1am.

“Go to sleep Mi-an.”  “Owen, you don’t understand, I can fix all your wobbly tables and the sinking booth AND the shelf behind the bar in like, 5 minutes flat.  I even have the materials right here!”  “Yes, I saw you drag in a pile of scrap wood earlier when I told you no.  And what do you mean wobbly tables????”

Nia

Ah Nia, recent college graduate Nia.  She’s a party girl, through and through, but in the most wholesome way possible.  She’s the mom friend who may be just as plastered as everyone around her, but will still be handing out snacks and water bottles for everyone else.  Elsie passed out and needs to be carried home?  Who knows when Nia started hitting the gym like Pen, but she’s on it.  She may be drunk too, but she knows what she’s doing and how to work around it.  We see in the game that she’s more than capable of handling herself, from scaring Yan so badly he flat out begged the builder to keep her away from him, to dungeon diving with the likes of Logan and the builder as well.  Sure, she’s incredibly sweet and bubbly, but there’s a lot of depth to Nia that doesn’t get explored anywhere near enough.  If the builder isn’t romancing her, she’s definitely making out with Mi-an in a corner.  Girl’s got builder fever, something FIERCE.

Venti

Strongest babygirl vibes of any character in the game, and she’s got the least amount of content of any romanceable townie, tragic.  Tragedy is really the name of the game when it comes to Venti, well, for literally everyone BUT Venti.  Her relentless optimism is only gonna get amplified when she starts drinking.  She made it to Sandrock, she’s got a steady job with people she likes, the town is recovering and Venti is alive.  And she’s gonna enjoy being alive to the fullest she can.  Sober Venti tends to fade into the background, but Drunk Venti?  Try and find a way to not think about how amazing she is, I dare you.

She’s dancing, absolutely stoked over getting all the “fancy” drinks and foods at the saloon, and if she’s dating the builder, she’s gushing about how happy she is with them.  Be careful, though.  Venti may seem the impossible optimist through and through, but that may be more an issue with her simply never acknowledging her trauma rather than having processed it healthily and come out happier.  If she drinks too much, be ready for that happy drunk mask to drop and reveal someone who has buried their sadness so deeply they have no idea how to handle it should it come bubbling to the surface.  So, just focus on having her drink lots of water & get to bed early, then find a good therapist in the morning.

Thanks so much again guys!  Let me know if you have any headcanon ideas you’d like me to write on.  My ask is always open!

[gallusrostromegalus]

"-and then the new guys beat the shit out of the Soul King's buddy and dismembered th Soul King for parts to sell as part of an organ harvesting scheme!"

Wait.

"but they messed up and now the only normal exit from Hell is being blocked by God's Ass."

Wait.

Is the title a joke about.... no, I'm taking that thought too far. One thing at a time.

Gallus, is God the elephant?

~**CONGRATULATIONS ON SPOTTING THE OVERARCHING THEME/MAJOR NARRATIVE DEVICE FROM THE SHITTY LITTLE SUMMARIES!!! **~

Your High School Literature teacher would be proud.

--

Ok, it's two steps to the left of "God is literally The Elephant", but that's where it started.

The Fable of The Blind Men and The Elephant actually IS about how no single person can perceive the entirety of any situation- your friend's weird breakup, the nature of God, economics, etc.- and that you need to work with other people to have a damn clue about what you're doing. The Fable (Or rather, my favorite children's book about it), is used as a framing device to structure the plot because I have ADHD and my brain is a flan on a good day, so I need all the structure I can get.

But The Fable is there because the overriding theme is one of how people *thinking* they know what they're doing when they have only a fraction of the information available, feeling like they have to do something alone, and/or failing to communicate fucking anything is the primary cause of disaster, and things only start to improve when the characters start listening to a diversity of opinons and fucking cooperate.

So on one hand, the fact that God's Repairman's Disassembled Corpse is gumming up the wheel of Samsara is the elephant. On the other hand, the elephant is the wheel itself, and the important lesson here is to fucking talk to people about your problems and help each other out.

Also yes. It's a very shitty pun :)

[dragonsdendoodles]

MPHFPC Incorrect Quotes: Page 1

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No Murder in Walmart Part 1 Sitting on the Floor Stop Undressing Him You Never Let Me Do Anything Upside Down Chip Bag Thumb Condom Jacob Knows Everything Lemon Drop Cookie I Didn't Get My Permit Suck It Cocoon Boy Picnic Something to Complain About Patient A Day of Sensory Issues Cool Guy Stuff Watch Me Egg Shortage Forgotten How to Fingers The Last Thing You Registered Purple That's a Cockatoo, Actually Grenades Can I Cut You? What's the Point Adulting No Thank You Caffeine and Sugar Suspicious Attention Disorder I Wonder How Painful It Would Be Daddy Issues Roadkill Like Children Not Short The Power of Salt Today's Just Out For My Blood Evidently Dehydrated Counterproductive No Coffee Fuck Off Part 1 Crazy Religious People The ADHDs I'm Causing You Pain Cunt is My WORD, Jacob Sunset Morals Mini Cooper Dumb Joke

Power Wash Jelly Beans? Attention Whore Five-Second Rule Lick Only a Little Bit Satanic And Whose Fault is That? You Gotta Dab When You Leave Bean Water Part 1 Bean Water Part 2 (Soy Sass) Yelling It's Your Birthday. Full Circle Mop Juice? An Irish Lad Sugar or Glass Pain in the Ass You Haven't Eaten All Day You're Gonna Papercut My Eyeball! Oh! Helping It's Still 10 pm Have You Lost Object Permanence? NOT a Bean Macaroni You've Met Me That's What She Said British Football No Coffee Fuck Off Part 2 Stop Tickling Me No Comfort Pull Door Not a Child Basically Cake Hugging Lobotomy Hazard to Society You're Just Weak Breakfast of Champions Gifties You Almost Got Me Arrested Cocaine, Obviously Temperature Gun Is That Cheese or Skin? Anarchy Spoons Chip Box Chips Headcanon for Christians The Fuck Word

[naamahdarling]

Today's roadblock is:

The Pharmacy; the doctors' offices. RESOLVED!

The issue is:

GAC/HRT doctor's office sent a prescription to the wrong pharmacy. Pharmacy screwed up a thing for my ADHD meds.

This problem was caused by:

Providers: Simple oversight. Pharmacy: Closing my location, so the prescriptions are being transferred and it's chaos, and all PAs had to be resubmitted.

The party likely responsible is:

I'm angriest with the pharmacy. Their issues caused the other issues. I'm assuming they had a reason for the closing, so I'm trying to be less angry. The other clinics, just whoever was putting through the paperwork made a small mistake.

The consequences/benefits to me are:

I'm tired from chasing this for a week. I have been without ADHD meds off and on for a week, which gives me BAD rebound depression. I got both issues resolved, however, so the benefit is that I get my meds and don't have to fuck around with it any longer.

The consequences to them are:

None, except the pharmacy employees suffering with a horrendous workload. The employees at the doctors' offices fucked up, but it wasn't part of a pattern for them. Everyone gets a gold star for cooperating today and promising to fix their shit.

I am feeling:

Tired. Glad I could fix it all. Slightly hopeful I will have all my meds this week. Perpetually disgusted that "I hope I can get my meds this week" is even a thing. Shoutout to the medication desk at insurance, who found the problem with my HRT scrip. Insurance as it exists now is survival gatekeeping and utterly repugnant (The Purpose of a System Is What It Does, therefore insurance -- even the nonprofit kind -- exists to neglect and harm people in the name of money), but these specific employees at least do their job well.

[internetgiraffekid1673]

OC LORE DUMP

Everybody who's been around for a bit knows that I used the same set of characters for all of OC-Tober, under a tag I've decided to call Living, Dead, and Undecided!

All the OC-Tober Drawings of them can be found Here and Here, although you can also just look through my tag #oc tober.

Basic Premise:

Living Dead and Undecided takes place during a seasonally appropriate zombie apocalypse. But with a twist: almost all of the main characters are supernatural/magical/undead creatures themselves, which SIGNIFCANTLY changes how and why they're handling the problem!

The apocalypse itself was caused by a foolhardy wizard's attempt to travel to the afterlife going very wrong. Thus, it is self-contained to a singular area, where, in addition to a bunch of reanimated corpses, other magical nonsense keeps happening (like dimension rifts and summoning magical creatures to the area).

The five main characters are brought together by the apocalypse and are working to stop it by finding the wizard and the location he cast his spell and making him reverse it. But the kind of person who attempts to travel to the realm of the afterlife isn't exactly the most stable or cooperative individual, and the many other dangerous beings being summoned to the beacon of twisted magic certainly aren't helping either.

All Creature Lore for this is basically me mish-mashing together a bunch of different sources until I had something I liked, so I'll explain what everyone's powers are as I go.

The Main Characters:

Chase Michaels:

Chase is an absolutely precious 7 year old orphan who lost his parents a few months ago, and was recently turned into a vampire by total accident (the vampire who turned him was also a new vampire and did not know that was a possibility, they were kind of just trying to drink the blood of someone who wouldn't be missed).

Unfortunately, the guy who turned him is also the deadbeat dad of vampires and decided to just ditch the kid without ever explaining anything to him. This means that a 7 year old was suddenly slammed with super-senses, bat-like instincts and abilities (including bat shapeshifting which was really scary when it first happened), a weakness to sunlight (sunburns very easily and gets sun-sick, but doesn't immediately die), a nocturnal sleep schedule, and a sudden taste for blood without knowing why. Remember, Chase is also an orphan, and he was liviing completely on his own for the last few months. He literally had no clue what was going on, and was just kind of struggling to adapt to his new powers.

And then the apocalypse happened. Now, the zombies can't actually kill Chase unless they manage to accidentally stake him, but they can physically mess him up pretty bad. Chase also learns that zombie blood apparently satisfies the blood-drinking problem (so will animal blood, but that's actually harder to get since animals actively run away from him).

Chase's personality starts out like that of a skittish feral kitten because that is effectively how he's been living, but once he gets into a safer situation and starts trusting people, his real personality starts showing. He's very curious, is really good at reading people (especially for a 7 year old), kind of has an intuitive knowledge for the way things works, and is constantly taking things apart and putting them back together as a fidget. He loves puzzles, riddles, soccer and almost certainly has undiagnosed ADHD.

Chase is basically slumming it on the streets until he runs into Kate and they mutually adopt each other. She's somewhere between a much older sister and a mother figure to him.

Sam Fetch:

Sam is 15, pangender (so all the gender and all the pronouns, but they/them default), and a werewolf. They fucking hate that they're a werewolf. Sam can shapeshift into a wolf at will, but they will frequently get stuck kind of halfway between the transformation, and it takes a lot of practice over the course of the story for them to learn to control this. At the full moon, they're forced to shift, and while they will keep their head if left to their own devices, they'll lose it if they find a human and will try to attack them. They have enhanced senses and super strength as well as some wolf-instincts at all times.

Anyway, Sam was attacked and turned into a werewolf when they were like 12 and has been hardcore struggling ever since. The transition from human to werewolf was particularly rough on Sam because they are currently a hormonal teenager in the middle of several identity and life crises, and those things do not mix well with sudden powers. The zombie apocalypse was a cloud with a MASSIVE silver lining because now they don't have to deal with hiding their powers, or trying to maintain a normal school life when you can literally smell every middle schooler, or the fact that their parents were struggling financially and Sam's sudden increased appetite wasn't helping. But, it's still a great big cloud because in the initial attack, Sam got separated from their parents and is now on a quest to find them and save them if they can still be saved.

Sam comes off as really overconfident and cocky (and they are about their physical abilities), but is actually really insecure about themself. Sam also has a very short fuse and is in general just very angry about life. Starting a fight with them is just about the easiest thing in the world. They're also intensely loyal, and once you gain their trust, it takes something very fucked up to lose it. They will fight god for the people they care about.

Sam is doing a decent job of surviving the apocalypse, but not a very good job of finding their parents until they meet up with Zachary and Hazel. They despise Hazel with just about their whole being, but sadly recognizes that staying with Hazel is definitely better for their own goals and protection. They like Zachary, but they definitely place too much trust in him. When their little trio first meets up with Kate and Chase, Kate does casually attempt to murder them all. Sam holds a grudge and tries to hate Kate after this, but Kate also looked at Sam, said "Oh, you're not trying to hurt me or my kid? Great, you're my kid now, no you don't get a say," and broke down their walls very quickly after that. They adore Chase and is like another older sibling to them, although with much less maturity or responsibility than Kate.

Hazel Thorne:

Hazel is a witch who is physically 13, chronologically 120, and emotionally somewhere in between (although that does kind of fluctuate depending on the situation). Their gender identity is rather complicated, but demigirl is currently the best way I've found to describe it, and she switches between she/her and they/them fairly regularly (I'll just use she/her on this post for simplicity). I go into more depth about it when I talk about the extent of her trauma here. She's also pan, but that's not particularly relevant to this story, as there is no romance involved :). She sold her soul to a malevolent demon for witchcraft when she was naught but a schoolgirl in the early 1900s, but now she's a fully fledged and very dangerous witch. She's been having magical escapades, making enemies, making friends, solving people's problems, and wreaking lowkey havoc on the world for over a century.

She initially became a witch out of desperation to destroy the horrible boarding school she was at. It was like, full on abusive, almost a prison levels of problematic, and she and the other girls there all became very close due to trauma bonding. When one of her roommates discovered a forbidden book about witchcraft, they realized it was a way out, and she and the 12 other girls she shared her hall with all became witches together. They're bonded in a coven, but they're currently scattered internationally, and the wizard bullshit that caused the apocalypse is interfering with her capability to contact them.

Hazel is an absolute little shit. Her alignment is chaotic neutral, bordering on chaotic evil. She enjoys pissing people off, forcing them to work for her, holding things over their head, destroying property, getting vengeance, and just generally messing with folks. The only thing that has stopped her from fully becoming a villain at this point is that she cares about the general welfare of humanity and wants to protect them.

Hazel, while very magically powerful, is not great at doing plans. She's far too spontaneous to actually solve a big issue like a zombie apocalypse on her own, so she summons Zachary to help, and they kind of just meet up with the rest of the party on their way. She and Zachary are something like old friends, since they've been on the same side of a lot of really dangerous situations throughout history. She royally pisses off Sam and enjoys pushing their buttons. Kate is 110% done with her nonsense, but is also able to recognize that she has more emotional maturity than Hazel and does her best to be patient and take care of her (can you tell Kate has a problem with just adopting people?)

Zachary Winters:

Zachary is a lich, who somehow still manages to be on the side of good. See, he was originally from a small village from around almost a thousand years ago. When his village was hit with a curse that caused a horrible plague, he did the only thing he could in desperation: he turned to dark magic and became a lich. In my universe, this means that his soul is now separated from his body and stored in a physical object. If that ever gets destroyed, then he will be condemned to some sort of terrible purgatory or something. But it also means he gets immortality and can be given strength and magic power through human sacrifice. Now powered with human sacrifice in the form of all the people in his village who had been taken by the plague, Zachary used his new magical abilities to raise them into an undead army and stormed the castle of the warlock who had cursed them in the first place, forcing him to undo the spell.

But Zachary couldn't exactly just go back to normal after that. He now required sacrifice to live. And sure, he could have just died and been done with it, but he decided to do something a little unorthodox. He found a way to put himself into stasis. Without human sacrifice, his body goes into something of a hibernation mode and he effectively becomes no different than a regular corpse. However, all it takes is one person dying as a sacrifice and he will reanimate. In times of crisis where death and destruction abounds, some people will invoke the legend of the People's Lich and declare themselves a sacrifice as they die, and wake Zachary up. This means that Zachary is capable of helping people in times of death and destruction. As soon as the problem is resolved, he'll go back into stasis. As long as his soul jar isn't destroyed, he'll continue to do this forever.

This means Zachary's age is really iffy. Physically, he's like if someone died at around 50 and then you kept reanimating that corpse. Chronologically, he's been around for about 1,000 years, but he's been in stasis for a lot of that. He's got at least 300 years of experience but definitely not more than 800 years under his belt. Oh, and like Hazel, he's pan, but that's not particularly relevant.

Zachary's personality is heavily based on my relatives on my dad's side, who all have a similar sense of humor and lack of a filter. He is wise and he cares and he usually knows when to shut up, but he's also really whacky. He doesn't usually understand the social conventions of the day when he's reanimated, is rather morbid, and is very goofy and won't take things very seriously.

This means he gels really well with trickster-demon-witch-child Hazel. She actually brought him back to life this time by just straight up killing a zombie in his name. They've crossed paths at least once before during the World Wars. He gets along decently with Sam due to being entertaining but not as irritating as Hazel. He and Kate have a complicated relationship, as he's sort of the mastermind/leader of their little group, but she's the most responsible and takes care of everyone emotionally. She appreciates the help he does give, but wishes he'd be more helpful as the only other actual adult in the party. Chase is actually a little creeped out by him at first, especially since he does look like a corpse, but he takes a shine to Chase and works a lot on getting the kid out of his shell (and also forcing Hazel and Sam to get along).

Kate Blaire:

Kate is 19, aroace, aplatonic (but allofamilial), and the only regular human of the group. She was basically just a regular human emerging adult. She was settling into trade school, she had a day job in customer service that she hated but that made her money, and she was doing her best to get all her necessary certifications to be a mechanic until the apocalypse hit.

The thing that makes her different than everybody else that panicked and got attacked or went into hiding or ended up a victim to the other effects of the magical bullshit? She was raised in the country by her grandparents, who were both war vets. They taught her a lot about survival in high-stress dangerous situations with the hope that she'd never need to use it. Kate was able to protect herself, get to safety, and start formulating a plan on how to survive, gather information, and hopefully start helping to fix whatever the problem is. Then she started bumping into a bunch of supernatural creatures that also happened to be emotionally unstable children and she was like "fuck it, guess I have to take care of them now too," because Kate is a very compassionate person.

Kate is a really serious person, but it is made worse due to the high stress situation. She's also super responsible and maybe a little bit too mature for her age due to the way she was raised. She's ridiculously determined and decisive, and she generally sees other people, especially those younger than her, as people she's responsible for protecting. She's rather prickly on the surface, but is an absolute marshmallow at her core. Chase is her precious child and she will do literally anything to keep him safe, but she is very protective of their whole little squad.

The rough timeline of events for all this is basically:

Apocalypse Happens

Kate and Chase meet up after she found him slumming it in an alleyway and she basically adopts him. They're using their combined limited knowledge to try to figure out how the hell this happened and if it can be fixed

Sam and Hazel meet up by saving each other's butts from an unusally large horde of zombies. They don't get along, but they have complementary strengths and weaknesses, so they stick together to get things done. Sam mostly just wants to go charging after their parents, but since they don't know where they'd be, they're mostly stuck exploring. Hazel has already put together that summoning Zachary is probably the best course of action

Kate and Chase have worked out that it's necromancy, and start working on a device to track that magical energy.

Hazel and Sam summon Zachary. This sudden blast of necromancy fucks with the readings on Kate and Chase's device, and they start heading towards that area.

Hazel and Sam fill Zachary in on what's happening, and he basically makes the same plan as Kate and Chase: "Find where the spell was cast and the guy who did it, and go from there."

The two groups meet. Kate assumes that Zachary is a zombie, since he looks like a corpse, and fully attempts to kill them all. They manage to talk her down, at which point the two groups join up.

All OC-Tober drawings happen basically in this next period, which is fairly episodic as they deal with various Magical Mishaps while trying to find the wizard.

And that is my OCs! Go relook at my drawings with the added context and enjoy!

I did draw 3 other OCs for OC Tober that I didn't give lore for here!

One of them is ACE. ACE is the physical form of a star that had been passing by when the spell was cast. They were drawn to the disaster zone, less because they were forced to and more out of interest, and are basically a scientist trickster god that causes more problems than they solve for the crew throughout the story.

The next is Callista, who is part of The Extras (my Universal Adaptor Cast of background characters) and thus has no particularly special lore.

And finally there is Lyra, my first OC, who is not part of the Living Dead and Undecided story (except maybe as a background cameo) and has her lore and story explained on her post.

Massive massive thank you for sticking with me through all of OC-Tober, but a special thanks goes to Lee! @ace-of-hats I need you to know that your little likes kept me going and gave me the motivation to finish even well after the deadline passed.

I love you all, and I will probably not draw these guys very soon in all honesty, mostly just because I'm going to be distracted by Wizard101.

[almostfoxglove]

Not to pressure you at all but do you already know the order in which you're gonna publish your WIPs, or do you post them sort of spontaneously? Just wanna know what I should look forward to next :)

omg hi angel!! you're too sweet ahhhh <3 <3 I post spontaneously (truly unfortunate - I wish I were structured enough to have schedules, but alas my adhd does not cooperate with deadlines for creative things) BUT I do usually have a sense of the order I'd like to work on things, so I can give you a guess!!

the next thing I post will be chapter 13 of see you at three (should be live pretty soon)

I'm going on holiday later this month, and while I'll have my laptop with me I expect I won't be able to finish / post anything while I'm gone - so for the rest of october I think this is what I am most confident that I'll be able to get done (pray for me):

the prettiest part 2 (max phillips)

i'll carry you finale (since I've already started it)

if I'm lucky, my entry for fuck-tober (maxwell lord)

then when I'm back in november, I'm itching to work on (but the order is TBD):

lock the gate finale (wish I could do this sooner)

an entry for the jolabrew + withcheese fall challenge (frankie)

probably syat chapter 14

more than letters (my frankie one shot that tbh I think is going to end up a mini series / 2 part-er LMAO, so I guess the first part of that)

I'm going to be writing a lot in november for my own projects that aren't internet/fic related so I suspect my fic-posting might be slower next month, but who knows! I'm fairly ~go with the flow~

but I hope this is sorta helpful!! and obvs if there's anything you're really itching for don't be shy - I can't promise anything but I'm always happy to hear what y'all are most excited for (and it's often pretty motivating) <33 ILY honey, thank you for this. it's really sweet to know someone's excited about my stuff ahh :,,)

[roguetelepaths]

Conjecture: Neurodivergent people tend to have much stricter and more authoritarian parents, and tend to suffer disproportionately from the consequences of that.

Like I wonder how much ADHD and similar neural wirings that present with Impulse Control Issues™ (I'm a demand-avoidant Autistic/possibly AuDHD person and this is mostly based on my personal experiences and those of people I love) are compounded by the fact that having your actions externally policed and restricted is known to make you fucking allergic to discipline. Obviously it's not the only factor but it seems like it's a big one.

It's the stereotypical thing about how people with strict parents will leave home and spend their entire college career partying like mad because no one's looking over their shoulder so they can finally have fun, except it never. Fucking. Ends. And it's not self-sabotage the way one would usually describe it— you don't want to make yourself feel bad, you aren't aiming to crash and burn, you just have only ever encountered the concept of discipline in the context of externally imposed restriction and surveillance. You've never been allowed to gain hands-on experience of how developing control over your actions can actually improve your life— it's only ever made your life worse, actually, because control over your actions has only ever been externally imposed upon you by people who had absolutely no interest in cooperating with you and would rather assume their own methods work for you when those methods probably barely even work for them. Which is a difficult enough thing to overcome for a person who mostly presents as neurotypical but it's even more difficult when your brain is literally working against you being able to develop the ability to think before you act and regulate your own emotions in the first place.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Anger

Let's forget about the fact that he's so 🔥FUCKING HOT 🔥 and just focus on the fact that he's right, shall we? #Notjustaprettyface

This is true for people with a lot of different disorders/syndromes i.e. PTSD, ADHD (some types not all of them), Burnout syndrome, Withdrawl syndrome/Addiction, etc.

Carmy checks more than 1 box ☑️☑️☑️

Anger is a shield. In a therapeutic environment, it's a 🚩red flag that indicates where to dig in, to find out what is beneath that surface. As long as there's consent. The patient doesn't need to cooperate with the therapist for the process to be successfully completed, but the patient does need to be aware of what steps will be taken and why.

IRL, most of the time we can't afford to dig in, RL is certainly not a therapeutic environment and therefore we can just do what Syd and Richie did. Go.

Get out of there and leave the angry person alone with their anger. Maybe wishing them well, maybe not even that.

Carmy and Sugar also left Donna alone.

Anger is a loyal companion.

Anxiety and anger, overreacting, taking offense, attacking, etc. are all different ways of covering up what lies unsolved beneath the surface.

Anger is always the easiest way out of "taking accountability" and action to solve the conflict that triggered it.

Carmy is Donna's son and he's mirroring her. It's a toxic kind of loyalty because while he's keeping her at a distance, he's actually so close to her. Love is an act of mirroring. And as long as he doesn't recognize her ways in himself, and does something about them, he will continue acting like her whenever he uses anger as a currency. He would rather be the perpetrator than the victim or play the victim to have an excuse to defend himself, resourcing to anger. It all leads to the same destination: his default mechanism.

Sugar has a different mechanism, she's the savior.

Anyone who wants to know more about these concepts can also check Karpman's Drama Triangle here.

But it's not necessary to study Karpman's work to realize that Carmy, Donna, Sugar, Michael, Richie, even Pete, and Cicero, or Michelle in NY, all play a role in the dysfunctional dynamic that the Berzatto family has going on. And it probably has been like that for generations. It's a lineage issue.

I have mentioned in a previous post that Carmy is the plot and Syd is the plot twist. And I truly believe this not only because of my personal Sydcarmy preference but because I really see Carmy breaking free from this toxic cycle, the cycle ends here. He will overcome this and Syd will be a crucial part of his redemption arc.

Spoiler alert: His found/chosen family, the one he will form, will have nothing to do with The Berzattos.