unimportantweirdo

[unimportantweirdo]

i am gonna make this post under the cut because it's a heavy topic and i need to get everything out

trigger warning for murder

my history teacher was murdered on thursday the 19th of december 2024. her name was miss devonish, and she was my history teacher when i was in secondary school.

she was stabbed by a man she apparently knew, and she was declared dead at the scene. the police have found and arrested the man they believe is responsible, and he will be in court on monday the 22nd of december 2024.

this is the first time that someone i knew has died.

when it came time to pick my gcses, it was a no-brainer; i was choosing history. i was good at it, and i enjoyed it because the teachers were amazing. my time at secondary school was shit, but teachers like miss devonish let me have something to enjoy, even if it was just an hour class.

miss devonish was short, and loud, and was mostly dressed in black. she always had a belt around her waist and her hair in dark curls. she was funny and kind and caring and it was so much fun sitting at the table by her desk because she would talk to us and we could hear all the little comments she made that made us laugh.

miss devonish sat me and my friend at the back of the class at one point, when two students transferred into our class. she trusted us to behave and work well together and she would often come over to see how we were getting on. even if i was having a shitty day, she always made me smile.

miss devonish had a phrase that she said whenever the class was getting too loud or too rowdy; "five minutes for my sanity." it was effective and funny and it meant she never raised her voice in anger. she was a naturally loud person but i was never afraid of that because she could also be quiet and gentle when she was talking to someone one-on-one. she cared, she genuinely cared, and that made her one of the best teachers in the whole school.

everything i had just written is factual. i needed a place to write down everything i could remember about her because when my mum broke the news, i couldn't remember who she was. i had pushed secondary school to the back of my mind, to never think of again. but i will remember her.

in my need to do something, i found a charity that supports teachers' mental health in the uk and donated the money i got as a gift from the parents at the nursery i work at. i'll include the link in case anyone else wants to donate; it can be any amount at all, but don't feel you have to.

saying 'R.I.P.' feels cheap, so i won't. i will say that i will remember you, miss devonish, i promise.

link to the education support website

[unimportantweirdo]

gee it's a good thing i went to that open mic night and had fun with my friend and it didn't matter whether anyone liked my songs or not because i enjoyed playing them*

*i am shaking with anxiety and doubting every single thing i've ever done

[unimportantweirdo]

me: *rearranged my big picture frames to show my kpop stuff*

mum: i feel like you're going backwards! this is what you were like when you were 14!

me: yes, because kpop was my safety against being ruthlessly bullied. now i get to like it again without feeling like i'm using it as a shield

[unimportantweirdo]

if u didn't know i worked in a nursery u would think i was a whore with how bruised my knees are

[unimportantweirdo]

why is my body on vibrate what am i anxious about now

[unimportantweirdo]

december behaviour is so real all the kids are feral

[unimportantweirdo]

HOPE THEY NEVER FIND U COMRADE; MAY THEY NEVER FIND U; THEY WILL NEVER FIND U like to charge, reblog to cast

[unimportantweirdo]

i may have written the most morbid christmas song. the kind where i have to preface it by saying i've been through therapy and i'm fine please don't worry now here's me singing about eating baubles :)

[unimportantweirdo]

THIS SPECIFIC SHOT OF JINX HOLDING ISHA TIGHTLY IN HER ARMS, AND SEVIKA INSTINCTIVELY USING HER ENTIRE BODY TO SHIELD THEM FROM THE EXPLOSION HAS A COMPLETE AND UTTER CHOKEHOLD ON MY HEART 🥺💔

I SWEAR IF ANYONE HURTS THEM I’M GONNA 🔪🔪🔪

[unimportantweirdo]

okay i wanna play. what's the first song on your wrapped that has a color in the title?

[unimportantweirdo]

#25 on Spotify wrapped says how 2025 is going to go. how's it going for you?

[unimportantweirdo]

coming to the realisation that my body and my brain have the ability to function separately from each other

why is my brain chill and semi-quiet and just thinking of the order of things i need to do

while my body is shaky and a little nauseous and experiencing anxiety sweat

[unimportantweirdo]

i posted a lil song cover on tiktok which i've done a couple times now

why am i shaking so badly like why is my skeleton experiencing an extremely localised earthquake stop it i've got things to crochet

[unimportantweirdo]

had a dream that they hard launched with a video called Basically We Are Gay For Each Other and we immediately made the acronym BWAGFEO (pronounced bwog fee oh). anyway. bwagfeo is real to me. it’s my Goncharov

[unimportantweirdo]

[unimportantweirdo]

my brain keeps giving me more project ideas as if i'm not in the middle of like. five. right now.

[unimportantweirdo]

do you ever start writing a comment on the internet and then think “oh what the fuck am i going on about” and delete it