#But they have the most romantic dialogues I've ever written

[su-alteza-emia]

When he say I'm beautiful (no one ever) but i write that a fictional characters say:

"I can say i love you since we met, but that would be the biggest lie i ever told. I feel like I've been loving you even before i born, since i wasn't even a concept, I've been loving you forever and i think i'll never stop of doing it."

"You only have to say it and i'll destroy everything only for you, if you're angry with the world, if the universe made you feel bad, if something ever break your soul or spirit, that mean they don't deserve anything but punishment, you're the best thing ever created and you deserve to be happy. "

"I broke myself in pieces just to help you rebuild yourself, and i would do it all over again just to see your beautiful smile."

"I know we're meant to be apart, but believe me, if I'd been writing our story i would made us have the happiest story ever, I'd made us the happiest lovers and above all I'd never made us go to different paths"

[adventures-in-mangaland]

I'm going with 10 All Time Classics from the Captain America (MCU) fandom. I mean, they're all classics to me, at least. In no particular order:

1. This, You Protect by owlet

First installment in the Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail series, which are all amazing. It's a “Bucky escaping Hydra and rebuilding his sense of self” fic, which he does while spying on Steve. With eventual Avengers Family and a lovely cast of OCs bonding with Bucky in the meantime. It has a very distinctive perspective and writing style; Bucky's in constant internal (and sometimes accidentally external) dialogue with himself, making it hilarious and tragic all at the same time. I love it. I've recently been getting into The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells and this Bucky has a similar sassy-but-vulnerable vibe? Read this if you like that, anyway.

2. The One Who Knows by Dira Sudis (dsudis)

This is a Political Animals AU, in that no-powers Steve is inserted into the Political Animals world and Bucky is TJ. Discusses being outed and depression but is ultimately hopeful. The author is one of my all time faves and has written lots of great stories for this and many other fandoms.

3. Blue Scales by chaya

Steve is a merman AU. He's still Captain America, though. It's crack with heart, I love it.

Best line: "May your scales and your love story be our weird secret forever.”

4. Our Lingering Frost by eyres

AU where Bucky is rescued from Hydra in the 50s (?) and so is around for Steve to be found.

5. Assets Out of Containment by follow_the_sun

It's a classic to *me*, OK? Bucky goes undercover at Jurassic World just as that movie's plot kicks off. They're Hydra dinosaurs! It's just great. Also has a podfic and crossovers with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

6. Not Easily Conquered (series) by dropdeaddream and WhatAreFears

Some of the greatest fanfiction I've ever read, the whole series is epic. Anyway, it's a "Steve doesn't go into the ice" AU with added queer angst when (never sent) love letters from Bucky resurface. I particularly like the second installment in the series The Thirteen Letters, which are just Bucky's letters and are insanely well-written.

7. to memory now I can't recall by Etharei

Time travel AU! Featuring post-CATWS Bucky accidentally switching places with CATFA era Bucky.

8. If Wishing Made It So by Leveragehunters (Monkeygreen)

Genie!Bucky AU! This author is great at writing AUs with fantasy/genre elements, it was hard to choose. They've also written an excellent werewolf!Steve AU and a horse!Steve AU that I really love.

9. Into That Good Night by Nonymos

An Interstellar AU! Very angsty and tragic but with an eventual happy ending.

10. Goodbye Piccadilly, Farewell Leicester Square by Speranza

Speranza must be one of the best writers in the fandom, so it was hard to pick just one of their fics. Other strong contenders were All the Angels and the Saints and The Fifties, so check those out too! But this one has a special place in my heart. Steve, Tony and Natasha accidentally time travel to WW2 London, leading to an accidental run-in with CATFA-era Bucky. The author does tragic and romantic time travel tropes so well, but with a happy ending.

I now realise that most of these are AUs, so here’s a bonus rec for a non-AU in-universe story that’s severely underrated and deserves more love:

+1

Heart, Have No Pity on this House of Bone by Sena

This story follows Bucky in-action in the Pacific Theatre. It’s very well written and, from what I can tell, well researched. Steve only appears in Bucky’s imagination and the story focuses on the horrors of war rather than romance, but it’s gripping! And it explores unrequited love, being closeted and period-typical homophobia, which I also enjoyed. I’m still holding out hope for a sequel.

[preztee]

[extremely biased Dorian romancer voice] Guys, I think we won.

I know it's more common to hear that Solas romancers won - and after seeing how much extra content they got (additional dialogue trees with the Inquisitor and a whole alternate ending with a kiss), I can definitely see why.

But that's the thing - I've seen Solas romancers utterly split on if they liked this extra content or not. I've seen takes ranging from, "oh, I'm so glad I finally got my happy ending!" to "what the hell? This is awful!"

I've seen people heaping endless praise onto Solas' characterization. I've seen people deeply upset over Solas' characterization. I've seen people who think the Inquisitor vowing to save Solas is the most romantic thing ever. I've seen people who hate how the writing portrayed the Inquisitor as hopeless, blinded by love, and shadowed by Solas' dynamic with Mythal.

Case being... the fanbase is polarized. Some people won, but some people lost very, very bad. I've noticed the latter with those who had Inquisitors that romanced Solas, but wound up angry and vowing to stop him.

So, back to my first point. How did Dorian romancers "win"? For lack of a better term.

Well, for one, we got more content than every other romance (barring Solas'). I'm mad on behalf of the other romances, but there's no denying we made it out VERY lucky in that regard. Could it have been better? Yeah. But honestly, in comparison to Hawke talking about their romanced companion, I feel like we won. Not a huge win (Warden Alistair's dialogue about the HoF was a MASSIVE win), but a pretty good victory nonetheless.

Romance wise we got: direct, in-character interaction that alludes to Trespasser's conflict with the anchor secretly killing the Inquisitor. Sweet idle dialogue from Dorian. An immensely touching letter from Dorian that logically concludes his character arc from Inquisition (with him no longer being allergic to The L Word!). And we even got a Dorian romanced Inquisitor implying that he's up in Minrathous enough to consider himself a source of information for the Inquisition.

Generally, we got: Dorian being written in character (this is helped by him showing up as a side character and not a main one... less questionable decisions), with notable development stemming from what was planted in Inquisition (working through emotional repression, abolition and enacting societal change, etc). The option to make Dorian Archon or not, allowing for the player to decide what future they want for him. The Inquisitor wearing the Shadow Dragon casual outfit and arranging meetings in Dock Town of all places. Both of them surviving to the end of Veilguard. Both of them working and fighting together in the finale to save Minrathous and stop the gods despite the Inquisitor's duties in the south. Heavy implications that Dorian and the Inquisitor have been talking off screen about Rook and about recent events. Vague timeline that allows for several headcanons to fit - like, are they married? Engaged? Idk. How often does the Inquisitor visit? Well, often enough to consider himself a direct source of information, but with recent events, he and Dorian have been forced to use the calling crystals and write letters over the course of weeks... so really, it's up to you.

What we didn't get: Maybe a dialogue tree during Rook's conversations with the Inquisitor. Uhhh, there's one optional dialogue response if you're too formal with the Inquisitor where he calls Dorian an old friend. Which Dorian also does to the Inquisitor in Trespasser. Literally the same exact wording of "old friend". I can't be too mad over a such a funny oversight happening again. In the exact same way. But this time easily avoidable.

TL;DR - We got a lot of wins, a lack of divisive content, and a generally happy fanbase. That, and the Inquisitor and Dorian standing next to each other. Oh, the screenshots to be had. The whimsy of it all.

[girl4music]

“But I can tell you this, Xena… you’re the only constant in my life, and unless you know something I don’t, I’m not going anywhere. So I’m going to say the most selfish thing I’ve ever said to you: that baby’s my baby too, and I deserve a chance to fight for it as much as you.”

- Gabrielle, ‘Them Bones, Them Bones’ (Original script dialogue.)

They knew what they were doing with this scene. Especially the way Xena AND Gabrielle’s heads turn back to the baby at exactly the same time as if they were both proud of making that little bundle of joy between their arms. Also notice how Gabrielle only steps away after a glance towards Xena and Eve, clearly assessing that they both need to be alone while she responds to Hercules' request. As if to say "You stay here, I'll take care of business."

Dialogue is rarely ever needed between these two because the body language communicates so much in small intimate scenes like this. Both the mark of great acting and great chemistry between the actresses. I've always said that it's the quiet moments that truly reveal the depth of the loving relationship between Xena and Gabrielle. Whether you see it in a romantic way or not, you cannot deny that it is not filled with unconditional love. Especially where Gabrielle is concerned.

In fact...

I'm reminded of what Ares says in the ice cave in confession to what he believes to be a dead Xena about the dichotomy between his love for Xena and Gabrielle's love for Xena.

"You're with her now. I handled you all wrong. I know that. She knew what you needed - unconditional and unselfish love - and I couldn't give that to you. But I appreciated you in ways she never could. Your rage, your violence, your beauty. When you sacrificed yourself for others, you were hers. But when you kicked ass, you were mine. I love you, Xena."

- Ares, ‘Looking Death In The Eye’.

And I back up what I say in my character study thesis. The reason why Gabrielle won Xena's affection every time wasn't just because she was good at that moment. It's because she was given a CHOICE to be good in EVERY moment. Ares never offered her that choice. It was always "be mine, or die". Gabrielle always did - she would just take herself out of the picture if Xena chose evil or stand against her.

Such a striking difference is often not spoken about in this love triangle the writers obviously intended between Xena, Gabrielle and Ares. It says that the show never really went one way or the other on the romance not just because it couldn't... But because it didn't have to. There was importance in keeping the romance balanced although many wouldn't admit to it and would rather just complain about it instead. As for me, I think it's one of the most groundbreaking things about it. Rob was definetly right about keeping it this way and I back him up on it 100%. We knew that Gabrielle had Xena's heart. However, the conflict in Xena's heart would always remain because Ares would always be around to remind her of her former life. And in so doing this, we learn that Xena could never be definitively one way or the other either. This is what made her character so damn dynamic. And why it was leagues ahead of its time in queer representation. Even today, a bisexual narrative like this is never done. Or rather - it’s done but it’s never written this well. It’s never connected to the major narratives and themes. And that’s because the queer characters are never the major characters. They’re never the actual narrative. Instead, the queer characters have to wrap around it. And that’s the wrong way of going about doing this.

I don’t care what anyone says.

Gabby was the daddy.

Or the other mother, if you prefer. Although, I would definetly say Gabrielle’s role was typically that of a father. I don’t like gender norms, roles and stereotypes either but that doesn’t mean those are off-limits to a woman.

I’ve said before that the fact Gabrielle was depicted as doing the “typical father” role means the writers were abolishing the belief that only a man can do it and therefore using gender norms, roles and stereotypes as a way to promote equality and solidarity.

If you have a problem with me calling Gabrielle the “father” of Eve, you have to understand I am speaking from the point of view they would have in their time. There was no such thing as a same-sex couple in Ancient Greece in the sense that they could marry and have children without the participation of a male figure. Of course gay couples would exist but would not be socially accepted. Hell, it wasn’t even socially accepted a decade ago. What makes you think it was then? So me referring to Gabrielle as that male figure in Eve’s life should be seen as a compliment, not an insult. I’m saying she had the capability to fill that role and she wasn’t even a man. Just like how Xena could fill the role of a warlord and she wasn’t a man. Can’t you see that I am giving them respect as people who can take on both the feminine and masculine side of situations? Xena and Gabrielle were human anomalies and that’s bloody awesome as far as I’m concerned. I wish more shows today had that kind of gender roles representation with their characters. Sadly, they don’t.

[wajjs]

i hate batstans who spamming hal jordan tag ughh

I know this is related to the now deleted poorly written post about Hal/Arisia, in which Jason chases Hal threatening to murder him for being a "pedo freak" and Hal is somehow scared of Jason when in reality Hal has no reason to be afraid of him since they're not on the same power scale.

I was saving this ask to post a good answer, but I'm very sick and ultimately it boils down to this:

The infamous "not a child molester" panel is purposefully shared out of context because it has inflammatory language and it's the best way to rage bait people + it prolongs ignorance in fandom circles (already known for never looking at the source material) by not explaining the whole situation like it should be explained.

It is an incredibly scummy thing to do considering how sensitive and delicate the topic is. It is also incredibly telling that it's mostly antis the ones who share this panel out of context and without nuance. Antis LOVE to use words like "child molester" and "pedophile" like they're candy and like these words have no real weight behind them.

I have seen antis pile on a survivor of child molestation for saying they do not agree with calling Hal a pedophile, because in context he's not, and using that accusation as a blanket statement "gotcha!" only helps to water down the complex terms and alienates survivors. I've witnessed antis tell survivors to "get over it" and that "maybe they (the survivors) are the real pedos" for "defending Hal Jordan".

I'm gonna break down the context in simple terms so that it can be understood:

Arisia joins the Green Lantern corps as a preteen/young teenager

Hal consistently, repeatedly, explicitly, calls her "little sister" across multiple issues and treats her like family

Arisia develops a crush on Hal that starts off Innocent and turns into an Obsession

Hal explicitly, repeatedly, consistently, turns her down

When they're trapped in a cave, Arisia cannot take Hal's "no" as valid answer and uses her willpower to age herself up into a full-fledged adult. She must have Hal

I repeat, she's NOT a child. In text, in canon, she's now drawn and written like an adult — a very precocious young adult, yes, but an adult nonetheless.

ONLY AFTER she turns into an adult does Hal show interest in her, and they make out in that cave to then develop their relationship

What's the REAL issue?

I am aware that the context is far from good, but what is most important from it is that the relationship is very clearly out of character within the same run it develops from. Before Steve Englehart, the writers consistently kept an older brother/little sister dynamic between them. Englehart was the one to add the ""romantic"" twist to it and directly contradict not other writers, but even himself. Moments before making out with Arisia, Hal is written turning her down. Again.

This is clearly not a character trait of Hal. This is a self insert situation in which the writer, and with support of the editors, decided to put his fantasy on page. It's not the first time this ever happened in comics, it will not be the last — it just is, unfortunately, infamous all around the internet.

To sum things up before I pass out again from the amount of meds in me:

Hal is not a pedophile. He only develops a romantic relationship with Arisia AFTER she's grown into an adult (in the blink of an eye, yeah). He is not a child molester. Nowhere in the run before or after was that ever a thing. It is beyond me why Englehart wrote that dialogue. Who knows.

His relationship with Arisia has its surprisingly sweet and stable moments, though it quickly deteriorates because Arisia and Hal are at different life stages. They break it off. It was retconned. I repeat, IT WAS RETCONNED. IT'S NO LONGER CANON. And for good reason.

I am TIRED of Batstans, mostly Jason Todd stans, using a clear example of bad writing to bash on a well beloved character. As if Jason hasn't suffered from atrocious writing as well.

Now can we stop with the obvious rage baiting and blatant spreading of misinformation?

short cbr article with a breakdown of events for those interested

[demadogs]

Why byler? Is my question what is it about them that’s so popular

ooo this is a fun one. im assuming you may be one of my newer followers who didnt follow me when i was in the byler trenches. welcome. let me explain.

i think probably the biggest reason people gravitate towards byler is that its extremely fun for people who love film analysis because most of us genuinely believe it will happen in s5. for me specifically, this is the entire reason im here. i first started liking byler when s2 came out but it was casual. i just thought they'd be cute together. once s3 came out and i saw someone point out that mike was framed perfectly in a closet, that was my turning point. thats when i got insane about them because i actually believed its where they were headed.

its always fun to ship your favorite characters and engage in fanfics and fanart, but when theres a genuine belief that this is the direction the story is actually going in, its just a completely different experience. its a whole other world. its no longer about the characters themselves anymore. its about the cinematography, the props, the color palettes, the music choices, the blocking, the lighting. all of these things and more have provided evidence for why we believe byler will be endgame. its the perfect ship for people who are really passionate about filmmaking as a whole. 

many of us, including myself, got our degrees in film or have a background in filmmaking. ive made my own films and i plan to make more. one of them was screened at a festival. ive written academic papers on shows and movies. i've taken college film classes where my professors talked about stranger things. im a professional photographer which coincides a lot with film. i have this blog to talk about my favorite fictional media online. every time i watch something new i read long analyses on the media. if they dont exist, i write them myself and post them here. i love talking about and learning about and watching cinema on a much deeper level than someone who just throws on a show when theyre bored. so watching two complex characters not only have romantic tension in their actions and dialogue alone, but also have enough depth to analyze the practical filmmaking choices that prove they are going to end up together…. well its like fucking cocaine to me.

another reason is that mike wheeler, in my opinion, has the potential to have some of the most well written internalized homophobia ever. and i think he differs greatly from a lot of other characters with internalized homophobia because the writers have had the patience to not fully confirm his sexuality until the final season. many other queer characters who struggle with their sexuality come to terms with it over the course of one season or less. or they write it with dramatic irony so the audience is always well aware they are queer from the getgo, even if the character doesnt know yet. while theres nothing inherently wrong with any of these choices, i think having a more outside perspective on internalized homophobia and having that perspective be told slowly will make for a much more authentic and powerful queer coming of age story. i think all of mikes flaws and animosity towards both will and el will pay off so much once we know what hes been going through. i believe this character actually has the potential to reach people who arent accepting of the queer community right now.

byler also just resonates with the queer community so much. a lot of queer ships, especially mlm ships, are dominated by straight women, sometimes to the point where the ship doesn't even feel like its a part of queer culture anymore. its just nice to have a gay ship that feels like its for gay people. and as much as i love a really well written tragedy, its also nice that we can see a happy ending so clearly.

in short, its just fun. the whole "will they/wont they" element is fun as hell. ive never had that with a ship before. i tend to lean towards slow burns that i know will be canon (snowbaz <3) or tragedies that are so gut wrenching i dont even WISH they got together (jackieshauna <333) byler however just speaks to my film loving soul on such a deep level. its perfect for me. its so fun to analyze and read other people's analyses. i cant wait to see how it unfolds in s5.

[valtsv]

Do you have any favourite fitzier fanfics :3c

yeah alright:

to be as one is (series) by TheGoodDoctor (rating: G, T) (this one deals a lot with gender and self identity and never fails to make me smile no matter how rotten i'm feeling)

Through by robokittens (E) (one of the tags on this fic is "spiritual woundfucking" and i feel like that recommends this fic better than i can in my own words)

oh you pretty things by wildcard_47 (T) (one of many 'Francis buys James a dress' fics, but this one stood out to me because the dialogue and prose is just so thoroughly delightful to read)

The Shipmaster's Song by ripeteeth (T) (what if... we were shipwrecks at the bottom of the ocean... and we were both doomed polar explorers...)

Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight by for_autumn_i_am (E) (a 'what if Carnivale didn't go up in literal smoke' au where everything aches with the promise of future tragedy but still manages to be heartwarming)

an unexpected gift by aes3plex (G) (JFJ meets Francis' extensive family. all of this author's works are incredible but this one was my favorite, equal parts charming and heartwrenching.)

twin high maintenance machines by veganthranduil (E) (obligatory 'the one where they both have erectile dysfunction but they still try to make it work' fic; selected this one specifically for the equal parts delightfully and painfully in character dialogue.)

Swallow by Daucus (T) ('gross' intimacy my beloved. you know the scene in Princess Mononoke where San feeds Ashitaka when he's too weak to care for himself so that he'll survive and heal? well that rewired MY brain and this is the fitzier version.)

burnt-out match in a dark room by deadgreeks (T) (marriage/death parallels and the intimacy of performing someone's last funeral rites. this one's a 'keep a pack of tissues on hand just in case' one.)

singing even so by shortcrust (T) (Orpheus and Eurydice in the Arctic. had me staring blankly into space and hugging myself as if chilled for nearly an hour after i finished it.)

The Gunner's Daughter by reinetta (E) (the most gorgeously written and romantic depiction of a sadomasochistic scene i've ever had the pleasure of reading)

Da mi basia mille, deinde centum by anactoriatalksback (M) (makeout fic, but calling it a "makeout fic" is so vastly underselling this. the plot is literally "they make out", but you will be hanging on to every word and astonished by the amount of character study that the author manages to pack into that premise.)

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself by 5runner5 (M) (PTSD recovery fic in a pre-PTSD recognition era, and by far my favorite for how honest it is about the difficult reality of communication and recovery in a relationship)

shall warmer, sweeter be by baestard (T) (a wonderful exploration of transgender identity and self-discovery that remains impressively period accurate. or: 'what if we survived the arctic and we were both girls'.)

[tsumuus]

₊✩‧₊˚ 555 follower event ! ˚₊✩‧₊

i just wanna start off by saying tysmmm for even being able to reach this many followers😭!!!!!! i never would have thought my silly little stories would have even gotten as much engagement as they have been. truly so shocked. even tho ive started my senior year and my schedule is starting to fill up i really want to free up some time to do this event for you guys. ive received nothing but support and encouragement from you all and its more then i could have ever asked for! <3

as for the actual event itself, i really don't have a theme, i just want to give you guys a chance to request anything that you'd like (just don't be weird and keep it pg, im 16😓).

this event will last from 9.2.24-9.23.24! feel free to start sending in requests beforehand so i can plan accordingly!

i typically write for mha and hq, but i am willing to write for other fandoms. just ask in your request the character, and if i write it, just depends on whether ive seen that show or not lol!

(follow my first tag to stay updated with this event !)

reblogs are always appreciated <3 !

prompts and event masterlist under the cut !

₊✩‧₊˚ prompts ! ˚₊✩‧₊

prompt #1: love languages

in your request, send the character of your choice, your top love language, + any other specific details you'd like me to incorporate

here are some fics i've alr written that follow this prompt: physical touch w bakugou; words of affirmation w kirishima

prompt #2: dialogue/quotes

in your request, send the character of your choice, and any sort of dialogue or quote or something of the sort

examples:

"im not in love with you anymore" "i didnt know you ever were"

"you were everything" "you were a wonderful experience"

"i would've been there for you, through everything" "i thought you knew"

(yes i know these are all tiktok sounds idc its all i could think of)

prompt #3: song lyrics

very similar to prompt #2. in your request, send the character of your choice and any song lyric or song in general you'd want me to incorporate

ive written a good amount of these before but i never really liked how most of them turned out, yet here are a few of my favorites: falling behind, bakugou; pleaser, kaminari; reflections, atsumu

prompt #4: character matchup!

this is something new that i havent tried doing before. in your request, answer the following questions, and add any details you think i should know to help me figure out your perfect match! if you request this prompt i'd prefer you don't do it annomous but it’s up to you!!

questions:

what fandom/anime(like mha or hq) do you want the character i match you up with to be from? would you prefer a character whos male, female, or do you have no preference?

romantic or platanoic matchup?

describe your personality.

your top love languages.

your hobbies/pastimes.

and anything else about you i need to know!!

please be kind and patient with me as i try to figure out and plan everything accordingly thatll also not interfere too much with my schedule! any hate or negativity will result in you getting blocked! that being said, i also dont want to have to deny or delete any requests but my creativity does run out and i do get hit with writers block sometimes so if your request for prompts #1-3 happen to not be working w my brain capacity(???) im sorryyyyy!!

₊✩‧₊˚ event masterlist ! ˚₊✩‧₊

prompt #1: love languages

₊✩‧₊˚ akinori konoha + acts of service ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ tenya iida + quality time ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ hitoshi shinsou + physical touch ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ keiji akaashi + words of affirmation ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ katsuki bakugou + acts of service ! ˚₊✩‧₊

prompt #2: dialogue/quotes

₊✩‧₊˚ toru oikawa + “you don’t hate me” “i could never hate you” ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ neito monoma + "im not in love with you anymore" "i never knew you were" ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ katsuki bakugou + “i wanted her to look at me, but she couldn’t pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair’ ˚₊✩‧₊

prompt #3: song lyrics

₊✩‧₊˚ izuku midoriya + sailor song ! ˚₊✩‧₊

prompt #4: character matchup!

₊✩‧₊˚ matchup #1 ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ matchup #2 ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ matchup #3 ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ matchup #4 ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ matchup #5 ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ matchup #6 ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ matchup #7 ! ˚₊✩‧₊

₊✩‧₊˚ matchup #8 ! ˚₊✩‧₊

[missunderstoodlyrics]

What readers are saying about:

"This is one of the most ambitious fics I've read in terms of scope and research and y'all are executing it flawlessly. It's so well thought out and intricate without being confusing. Seriously, seriously excellent work!"

"This might just be the best thing you've written yet. I'm enjoying the magic - you've made it feel so natural to the story. It doesn't feel forced, and that can be a hard thing to manage. But it's flowing so nicely, so lots of extra kudos on this work!"

"the dialogue is so perfect and love and the ongoing mystery. Such a fun, clever fic"

"I saw the notification and did a full Aziraphale wiggle with the little shaking fists when I saw it - fully unexpected from me, I'm usually far cooler and more Crowley-esque than that. Thanks for reducing me to a giggle ball!"

"And can I just point out that Crowley had a TON of some of the most romantic lines I’ve ever read in this single chapter!"

Thank you so much to all of our amazing, insightful readers! Your comments mean the world to us. All of them! (I only quoted ones that didn't have spoilers)

@searching4sarahtonin @leo9thecat

[blandtako]

Why did it have to be a Daffodil? | Sung Hanbin x GN!Reader | Chapter 1

➤ Summary: After having become close friends during their first year of Highschool, Hanbin and Y/N have become inseparable. Highschool, college, adulthood, nothing would change the fact that they'd always be there for one another, no matter how much it hurt. ➤ Pairing: Sung Hanbin x GN!Reader ➤ Genre: fluff, angst, highschool au, college au, unrequited love, slight smut (In certain chapters, there will be warnings). ➤ Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, allusions to anxiety and/or depression, suggestive, Hanbin is bisexual. The ff was written with the perception of a Male!Reader in mind, but I will be using gender neutral pronouns. More specific warnings will be added depending on the chapter. ➤ Status: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 (Work in progress) | upcoming ➤ Word Count: 6,6K ➤ A/N: Finally finished working on Chapter 1! This is mainly an introductory Chapter in which we get to know Y/N and get to see a few of the characters within this story! Keep in mind that at least in the first few chapters (Probably around Chapter 4-5) the characters are attending highschool, and most romantic moments will happen after that. I hope you enjoy! This is my first ff, so I'm gonna try my best, even though I've found writing dialogues a HUGE hassle lmao. If you have any suggestion or constructive criticism, please go ahead and share it! Any help will be appreciated <3

Y/N’s train of thoughts could be quite dispersive at times. From imagining themselves in made-up scenarios to worrying about how to optimize their time spent on video games, there was one thing in particular that they often thought about. How would their life be as a TV series? What events would be shown, and what wouldn’t be considered interesting enough to be put on screen? Their responses to themselves would change from time to time, but the one thing that wouldn’t change was the fact that even within their own life, Y/N would be a supporting character at best. Nothing particularly exciting had ever happened to them. They had a loving family, and while there could be a few small fights, it was nothing more than an argument any kind of family would have. To be fair, Y/N had never been a rebel, and while they did have their share of flaws (such as an intense need to procrastinate that led to their votes not always being the best), they weren’t the type to cause much of a ruckus. Middle school wasn’t exactly the greatest, but Y/N had soon realized that most kids used to be menaces to society around that age and thus acknowledged that there were many who had been subjected to the same type of treatment. That isn’t to say that Y/N’s self-esteem had managed to come out of it unscathed though, and their trust within humanity as a whole had descended quite a bit (although that might have just been their edgy years talking). But bullying was something many people experienced, and some cases had it much, MUCH worse than Y/N ever had, so to them it just felt a bit egotistical to complain. Besides, while there weren’t a lot, Y/N did have friends who cared for them and who they cared for. Y/N would exaggerate when it came to having to define how tough their life was, but truthfully they knew that they didn’t really have it that rough, and deep down they’d be thankful for that.  What type of TV series could ever be made about such a monotonous life? As the sunlight streamed in through the cracks in the blinds of Y/N’s bedroom window, drawing colorful patterns on the sheets and part of the wooden floor, a subdued growl vibrated throughout the entire room. A muffled groan complained in return, as Y/N was practically begging to be left alone to sleep just for a bit longer, but not even a second after the sound had made it out of their mouth, a high, loud bark responded to them right away from the end of the bed. “FINE, I GET IT!” Y/N yelled out in frustration as D/N (dog’s name) got closer to them, wagging its tail as it raised a paw in Y/N’s direction, trying to obtain their attention, to which Y/N faked crying. “See? D/N doesn’t want you to be late for your first day of high school either.” S/N (Sister’s name)’s voice came out from behind the door as she slowly creaked it open. “Mom already took D/N out for a walk before heading to work, but it hasn’t had something to eat yet. Refill its bowl when you go downstairs.” Y/N simply hummed in response, raising their torso and stretching their arms before getting off of bed to aid D/N in doing the same. Approaching the bedroom’s window, the first thing Y/N did after having woken up was open it to let fresh air inside. As they opened the blinds, Y/N’s eyes were forced shut by the brightness of the sun that now flowed into the room, filling every dark space with a cool, yet peaceful breath of air.

Blinking in rapid succession, Y/N rubbed their eyes with their right arm to adjust his sight to the rays of light they were met with. Y/N was surprised by how cold the weather had gotten, especially considering how warm the climate was just a couple of days prior. It felt like the world had simply decided to skip over Autumn, going directly to Winter. Not that Y/N could blame it, to be honest; their opinion on Autumn was perhaps controversial, but they could not stand it whatsoever. Y/N liked the colors and products associated with it, and they were a huge fan of Halloween marathons on TV. What they did not like was the abundance of bugs that would reappear throughout this season. In particular, they’d consider bed bugs the bane of their existence. Making their way downstairs, Y/N found their sister already nicely dressed and ready to leave the house. She smiled back at them, a comforting look in her eyes. “Are you ready for your first day?” She asked. “As ready as one can be when they’d rather just keep sleeping through the day…” Y/N responded sarcastically, despite appreciating their sister’s concern. She chuckled, adding a small “You’ll do just fine.” before hugging them and walking out the door. “Thanks…see you at dinner.” While Y/N and their sister never really had a bad relationship, it was only now that the two had actually started spending more time together. They had a 4 year difference, and S/N was always considered pretty mature for her age, while Y/N could be a bit dense at times. Y/N cherished her a lot, even though they couldn’t help but be jealous of how she seemingly went about her life so…effortlessly? It felt like she would be able to tackle anything put in her path, unfazed by the level of difficulty presented to her. She was also very beautiful; Y/N would often joke to her about how it wasn’t fair that their parents had tried harder when it came to conceiving her as opposed to them.

After having been woken up by D/N’s excitement, Y/N realized that it was quite early. They refilled their dog’s bowl with food and water and then slowly went to take a warm shower, after which they brushed their teeth. Y/N was surprised as to how calm they were at the moment. They felt like maybe they hadn’t fully grasped what was about to happen quite yet. High school could be quite dire for teenagers, and being someone who greatly despised attention on themselves, Y/N’s plan was to live out their school life as smoothly and quietly as possible; avoid any embarrassing situation; avoid people who looked like they could bring trouble; and attempt to be as pleasant as possible but not to the point where others would actively be seeking out for them.Unfortunately, plans didn’t always unravel the way one wanted them to, and Y/N would have soon had to reconsider most, if not all, of their ways.  Petting their dog’s head one last time, Y/N picked up their gray backpack and walked out the front door, locking it as they did so. The autumn breeze hit Y/N’s skin, coldly reminding them that summer was now gone, alongside their hobby of doing nothing throughout the entire day as there was no need to. The leaves of trees blushed hearth hues above, contrasting the sapphire color that tinted the sky. Y/N sighed as they mentally prepared themselves for the bus ride that was waiting for them. Despite having showered, they could feel their eyes doze off, struggling to remain open as Y/N was now used to getting much more sleep than what they got this night. It had been a couple of weeks now, and Y/N would always tell themselves that they had to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier as well, so that they would be prepared for the school year…alas, they always failed, claiming that they functioned much better at night. Now, they cursed at themselves for that. Brushing their thoughts aside, Y/N slowly walked to the bus stop close to their house. It was a couple of minutes walk at most, and they still had about 10 minutes left before the next bus would arrive. They tilted their head to the side as they saw cars driving in and out of a house closeby. Y/N’s mother had told them that someone had bought it and would have transferred there soon. Y/N simply spent the wait scrolling through their phone, and once the bus did get there, they were thankful to see that most of the seats were still free. Y/N was thankful that this was one of the first stops the bus had to take, so this was usually the case. As they got on, they showed their bus pass to the conductor and then went on to take a seat. It was a 30 minutes ride, and as such, Y/N thought it wouldn’t be that bad of an idea to lean their head on the bus’ window and get a bit of rest. Their gaze was initially fixed on the landscape outside, taking some type of enjoyment in observing the rest of the world wake up and also go on about their lives, but soon, their eyelids began fluttering, and his mind started to drift away to the land of dreams. Only, instead of being able to wander through Morpheus’ reign, Y/N’s mind was immediately picked up and thrown back to reality by the uncomfortably loud voice of a familiar person that had gone to take the seat right next to them.

“You couldn’t even wait for me to get on the bus…did you stay up all night playing League again? ” Y/N didn’t know whether or not this voice sounded incredibly irritating or lovingly familiar to them. Y/N’s immediate groan left space for a soft smile, as their eyes were met with the sight of the person they considered their best friend applying blush on her own face. “I don’t think we’re allowed to wear make-up…” Y/N’s voice was muffled due to them being on the verge of falling asleep. They recomposed themselves, straightening up to leave their friend more space. She paused for a second, turning to face Y/N as she spoke up. “It’s not a lot; it shouldn’t be an issue…besides, I have to look my best if I want to make a good impression on others, no? You’re going to leave me to do all the talking anyway…” The brunette exclaimed as she went back to focus on what she was doing before. Y/N simply chuckled in response, as Alice wasn’t wrong at all.

Alice and Y/N met during their second year of middle school. The two did not attend the same class, and weirdly enough, had never even seen each other around school before their meeting. Their school had organized a field trip for all classes within their year, and because theirs were the ones with the least amount of people in them, they ended up sharing a bus. Still, there were many free seats, and thus Y/N took advantage of that to basically lay on two of them to use as a makeshift bed.  Just like a bolt from the blue though, Alice and a friend of hers decided to approach Y/N to ask if they could let them sit there. Asking themselves why out of all people, the duo had to go and disturb them, Y/N groaned but let them take the seats anyway.  Normally, that interaction would have been their last, but unlike them, Alice made it clear right away that she was a big extrovert.  Alice and her friend started making riddles to all those that sat close to them, and as Y/N also fit in that category, they were brought into it as well.  It felt awkward at first, but Alice had been capable of bringing Y/N out of their shell, which Y/N was grateful for. They started hanging out together since then, and quickly became very close. “There is only one person from your class in middle school, right?” Alice asked as she put her hand mirror in her brown backpack. Y/N hummed. “Mhm, Kang Hye-na. She can be kind, but we weren’t really close.” “Don’t worry, Jisoo and Mingi will be with us too. I’ve already introduced you to them. There are also a few more names I’ve seen around, but there are quite a lot of people I’ve never met yet.” she added nonchalantly as she smiled at them. “It’s alright, you’ll carry my social life like I carry you in League.” Y/N responded by chuckling to themselves, but quickly jolted in pain after having received a jab to the stomach by their friend. “We’re doomed then.” Alice added, joining Y/N in their laughter. Y/N was indeed worried about having to meet new people. Making a good first impression was quite important, but they also didn’t really feel like having to put too much effort into getting to know them. Socializing with people truly was tough, and Y/N was never really fond of having to do that. Fortunately enough, their new class didn’t really have a lot of people.

The bus ride continued smoothly, and soon enough, the pair got off the bus alongside a number of other students who immediately walked towards the gate. An intense feeling of nausea started dwelling up within Y/N’s chest as a back and forth of students began surrounding them, as everybody attempted to get past the morning rush that was causing a cluster of people to form in front of the gates.  Students, teachers, staff…it all made Y/N’s head hurt, as they narrowed their eyes in an attempt to stay focused on the road ahead. New students clearly did not know where to go, and it quickly became a mess. Crowds were something Y/N really couldn’t deal with well. They felt out of place; they could feel their lungs burning up as breathing started to become harder and a need to escape invaded their thoughts. Like a slap to the face though, Y/N was brought down to earth by Alice’s gesture of grasping their hand to hold onto. “Stay close to me…” She muttered out as people pushed through. And almost as quickly as it came to be, the crowd dispersed, as everyone was finally able to go on their own merry way. Y/N and Alice did as well, managing to find a sign that indicated the location of their classroom.

The first thing Y/N noticed after having entered the room were the beige walls that enclosed it; they were mostly empty, giving off an eerie yet nostalgic feeling about them. There were a few maps attached to them, yet it wasn’t enough to shake off that apprehension. Two windows on one side of the room and three more at the back of it took over the role of illuminating the class, allowing light through them to repel darkness. “They’re already here!” Alice’s voice whispered (but also not really) to them, pushing Y/N to divert their gaze from the walls and onto the few people that had already arrived. Mingi and Jisoo, Alice’s friends, were already there, having taken two adjacent desks around the left side of the class. Y/N could see Alice moving from the corner of their right eye as the girl basically rushed to greet her other friends. Y/N counted six other students but couldn’t really recognize any of them, assuming they all had to be coming from other schools. Some of them were interacting with each other, while others were simply sitting on a chair, fidgeting with their fingers. That made them feel slightly better, as there were people who were in the same situation as them: riddled with anxiety.

Y/N reached Alice, greeting Mingi and Jisoo with a polite bow. The duo smiled in return. “How are you feeling, Y/N?” Jisoo asked with a small smile painted on her face. “Could be better, will definitely be missing sleeping up until lunch time…” Y/N replied, to which Mingi chuckled. “I get that; I have spent this summer rotting away in my room…” He added. “You kinda did that even throughout the school year though?” Alice’s voice interrupted. “You say that as if you haven’t been doing the same…” Mingi stated, to which Alice shrugged her shoulders. “I need sleep to be as perfect as I always am.” “Have you applied make-up?” Jisoo’s quiet voice came out, interrupting the banter between the two, and Alice struggled to find the words to respond immediately. Y/N chuckled. “It shouldn’t be an issue, right?” Their words filled with a teasing tone that Alice immediately shut down with a loud groan. The four of them kept talking for a bit, pausing themselves from time to time to observe those who they would have soon called classmates. Alice and Mingi would greet familiar faces, while Jisoo and Y/N remained still, both too introverted to really go out of their way to say hello. They’d awkwardly smile at each other when those moments happened, finding some type of comfort knowing that they weren’t alone in that struggle. Hyena had also entered the classroom at some point, but Y/N limited themselves to waving at her, to which she replied in a similar manner.

It didn’t take long for a middle-aged woman with black hair tied into a ponytail to enter the classroom, which led to students all taking a seat. Alice and Y/N sat in two adjacent desks, right next to Mingi and Jisoo’s. The woman introduced herself as Mrs. Choi, their class’ coordinator. She began a whole speech about integrity, the importance of studying and then remarked multiple times how her role was that of acting as a liaison between the class and their teachers. To be honest, be it due to lack of sleep or be it due to the whole speech being as basic as one could possibly be, Y/N didn’t really put a lot of effort into listening to her. The words ‘introduce yourselves’ stuck out to them, and by the time the first student began speaking, Y/N realized what was going on and what they had to do. They found these types of introductions a bit awkward, but could understand why they were important…you can’t really spend the future 3 years without knowing your classmates’ names. Everyone was stating their first and last name, their age, and one thing they liked and disliked. Y/N could feel second-hand embarrassment take over them, but soon enough came to the conclusion that they couldn’t waste time feeling empathy towards others when their turn to do the same wasn’t that far away. Jisoo introduced herself, then Mingi, and as Alice was about to finish speaking, Y/N had yet to decide what to say. As soon as their friend was done, Y/N could see eyes shift onto them, waiting for them to talk. As their heartbeat became irregular, Y/N opened their mouth to speak. “Y/N L/N, I turned 16 this summer…one thing I like is…sleeping…I guess? and I dislike bitter food.” “Well, I sure do hope you won’t be sleeping during my classes.” Mrs. Choi made an attempt at a joke, to which some students chuckled. They survived that first experience, but knowing how these things work, Y/N didn’t expect that round of introductions to be the last one. Once everybody had finished introducing themselves, Mrs. Choi started talking about her subject and what the class would have been about. They had three more classes before lunch break, and three more after it. The second and third one came and went about as smoothly as they could have, despite the fact that each student had to introduce themselves again. By the time they were done, Y/N and Alice would tell each other what each student would be saying before they could even finish, pretend to be mind readers, and then chuckle at their childish sense of humor. The issues came during the last lesson before lunch break. Their math teacher, Mr. Kim, thought it would have been fun to shuffle the class a bit, assuming that everyone would have sat close to students they already knew. He wasn’t wrong, but it was still very much unneeded. Alice couldn’t contain her laughter when Y/N stared at her with imploring eyes. “Sorry, can’t save you.” she stated lightly. All students folded a piece of paper with their name written on it and gave it to Mr. Kim, who improvised a lottery.

As each name got extracted, Y/N couldn’t help but think about how pointless this whole thing was. They would have rather taken a test than having to do this. Why would a teacher force them all out of their comfort zone right from the beginning? ‘Just leave us be…’ Y/N thought to themselves, holding their temples with an exasperated look. “...L/N Y/N!” a shiver went up Y/N’s back as they could feel their skin getting warmer. Why did this whole thing remind them of the Hunger Games? They stood up, moving to the new seat that was waiting for them. The spot next to it was still empty, but the best they could have hoped for was for Mingi’s name to come up, as Alice and Jisoo had lucked out by being paired with each other. “...Seok Matthew!” Mr. Kim mouthed. ‘Oh, the Canadian guy.’ Seok Matthew had lived in Canada for most of his childhood, transferring to Korea during his last year of Middle School. He had also skipped a year, so he was actively younger than the majority of the class by a year. ‘Seok Matthew liked eating and is recently getting into cooking as well, he dislikes rain during summer…which is oddly specific.’ Y/N thought as their gaze was fixed on the young man walking towards them. Matthew was also the only person who came from his previous class, and didn’t really seem to know anybody, yet he approached Y/N beaming a smile that radiated happiness through and through. The way he spoke and expressed himself had an innocent yet contrastingly sly charm about it. One could describe the young man as being similar to the sun: it makes you want to stare at him, but the more you do, the more you endanger yourself. The type of person who’d be able to convince you to do something even if you didn’t want to. Y/N would know, their best friend was that type of person. Y/N hummed to themselves ‘Be careful, Y/N.’. “Matthew. It’s nice to meet you!” the young brunette offered a handshake, his toothy smile shaking Y/N to their core. Recomposing themselves from the initial dumbfoundedness, Y/N accepted the handshake, sporting an attempt at a smile. “Y/N. Nice to meet you too.” “I saw your keychain…” Matthew pointed at Y/N’s backpack, a small Eevee keychain being attached to it. “I’m a HUGE Pokémon fan!” “A-Ah, I see…” “What’s your favorite generation!?” Matthew’s whispering did not resemble a whisper, and Y/N’s anxiety spiked up due to not wanting to be scolded by the teacher. “Heart Gold was my first game…I’ve got a soft spot for Gen two.” “Ah! Blastoise is my favorite, I do like Gen one a lot!” Y/N nodded. Y/N was quite the fan of Pokémon as well, but they could discern that there were better moments to talk about that than lessons. “I understand that you want to get to know each other, but could you please do so another time? L/N, Seok?” Mr. Kim called them out, and Y/N immediately jolted up, mumbling an ‘I apologize’. Matthew did the same, but Y/N couldn’t really hear him, due to embarrassment having fulfilled most of their thoughts. They could feel their chest tightening, their cheeks were blushing, and their ears’ color was also darkening. Deep down, they were cursing the sunshine boy next to them, although that feeling died down the moment Matthew turned towards them to apologize. “It’s alright, don’t worry.” Y/N couldn’t really manage to say anything else, as the puppy look their deskmate was giving them was making them feel guilty for even having had such thoughts.

Once their seats were rearranged, Mr. Kim also went over the program they would have studied throughout the year, but Mr. Kim had also decided that surprises were not over with him. “Your last class today will also be with me, so I figured I’d give you a little assignment! I want you to get acquainted with your new deskmates. We’ll be doing a small test later to see how much you’ve managed to accomplish that and what your cooperation skills are looking like! Is that all good?” A chorus of yes followed their teacher’s request, but all Y/N could think about was: ‘What the hell does any of this have to do with math…’. As soon as the teacher made his way out the door, a buzzing of voices followed, as people began exchanging pleasantries to get to know each other. “Can…Can I ask you something?” Y/N turned around as Matthew’s voice spoke clearly. “Oh, sure.” “Do you want to have lunch with my friends and me?" It’s ok if you can’t, I figured that we could maybe…take advantage of that to get to know each other more?” Y/N’s brain became foggy for a second, not expecting that request. They were aware of the fact that Matthew must have felt alone in the new class, but they also weren’t much of a fan of having to socialize with a number of people they had never spoken to. ‘It’s easy Y/N, just reject saying that you’re going to have lunch with your friends and that you can’t leave them alone.’ “I…” Matthew seemed very hopeful. Those puppy eyes… “Sure, I’d be happy to. Could my friends join us too?” Those damn puppy eyes. “Of course! The more the merrier!”

The aroma of savory meat spread throughout the entire cafeteria, making its way down Y/N’s nostrils the moment they walked through the door. Mrs. Choi had mentioned how the school’s cafeteria’s cooking was quite good, but they did not expect to be surprised THAT much. “Can you smell that? My mouth is salivating…” Matthew said, and next to him, Alice nodded with energy. Y/N hoped that Alice would have given them any reason to refuse Matthew’s offer, but their hopes were foolishly misplaced, as Alice grinned and accepted right away. Mingi and Jisoo weren’t against it either, and so the quartet made their way to have lunch together. Y/N truly felt disappointed in themselves…they thought they’d be less inclined to be convinced by people’s antics. They all got in line to get their food tray, and slowly filled them up with what they wanted to eat, with Y/N being the last. “Oh, my friends are here!” What happened after that all felt like a confused and foggy mess in Y/N’s head. The sound of footsteps protruded all around them; Y/N thought they heard Alice introducing herself, and voices they couldn’t recognize started responding back to her. Y/N turned around. A loud thud followed. They could feel something bumping into them, or maybe they were the one who bumped into it? Y/N could feel their body lose their balance, making its way to meet the floor beneath their feet, only to halt halfway through. Was there a way to prevent this incident? If Y/N hadn’t accepted Matthew’s request, would they be in this situation? They couldn’t blame the poor boy for their own incapability of standing perfectly still. Were Y/N’s shoelaces untied? Or were they simply extremely clumsy? Y/N couldn’t really tell. Y/N’s eyelashes fluttered as they continued to rapidly blink multiple times. Their vision became clearer, and everything started to be put in place within their scattered brain.

Y/N’s food tray was on the ground, food scattered all over the floor. ‘That must be the source of the thud.’ they concluded to themselves. “Are you alright?” Y/N’s head whipped towards the direction of the voice that spoke to them. Y/N was being held by a young man with short, black hair. His uniform had been stained by Y/N’s food, with grains of rice and a couple of pieces of marinated beef laying over it. Y/N’s whole face was turning red, as they could feel their chest getting heavier with each breath. They had goosebumps all over their arms, and their whole skin was getting warmer and warmer by the second. It was over. It had to be over. Y/N would have never been able to live knowing how much of a mess they had made. Disappearing right then and there was the only way they would have been able to avoid dying from humiliation. That was the only way. Y/N had to conjure a hole to swallow them up and never spit them out ever again. “Can you stand?” The young man’s question seemed genuine enough, not really emanating any type of angry vibe…yet, Y/N refused to believe that the raven haired boy that was holding them did not want to punish them for their clumsiness. “A-Ah! YES!” Y/N basically yelled out as they recomposed themselves, finally feeling ground under their feet again. “I am so, so sorry! P-please let me help!” The boy chuckled as Y/N took out a napkin from their pocket. “It’s all good! Don’t worry!” He smiled, disarming Y/N in the process. Turning to look at the food tray that laid on the ground, he opened his mouth again. “Your food on the other hand has likely seen better times…” “Oh.” Y/N mumbled. They started to lower their upper body in order to pick it up, but the boy had preceded them, doing so and handing it over to them. Y/N bowed, their head almost hitting the ground to show their gratitude. “It’s ok, really. You don’t have to worry!” Even as the boy claimed that, what else could Y/N do? They had just embarrassed themselves in front of a large portion of the school. They could feel an increasing amount of eyes laying on their figures, scanning every single one of their motions. Y/N’s survival plan when it came to high school was fairly simple. Do NOT make a scene, EVER. The least amount of attention you gather the better. You don’t want to give people a reason to think of you as memorable, you want to be forgotten, not noticed. Y/N had just failed that one task. On their first day of school to boost that up. How much of a failure could they be? “You know you could have picked something else if you didn’t want rice and beef, right?” Alice’s voice became clear, as Y/N snapped from their thoughts of impending doom. This got a laugh out of the boy who had saved them. “She’s not wrong, you could have just asked me if I wanted to eat it instead.” “Hanbin Hyung, don’t tease them like that…” Matthew’s voice was the one thing holding Y/N back from falling into an abyss of shame. Matthew’s friend chuckled. “I know, I’m just kidding. Besides, it was also my fault for standing so close to them. I’m sorry.” Y/N’s body reacted before they could properly think, as they went to shake their hands in front of their chest. “Don’t worry, I should have looked where I was going…also, I should probably clean, shouldn’t I? You guys go up ahead and take a table.” As they said so, Y/N immediately kneeled down, picking up remains of food with a napkin. “Ah, wait.” Y/N looked up to see Matthew’s friend move to talk to one of the lunch ladies, and then come back with a broom and a dustpan in his hands. He helped Y/N clean the food off of the food, and then went back to give the broom back, throwing the food he had gathered in the dustpan in the garbage bin. Y/N didn’t know what to do except from thanking the boy over and over again. From Y/N’s point of view, they were the cause of the mess, dragging in a poor guy who responded with nothing but kindness. It was sketchy, but he seemed genuine.

“Thank you…and sorry.” “I told you it’s all good!” The boy, who had introduced himself as Sung Hanbin, stated while smiling. Y/N couldn’t help but think that maybe all of Matthew’s circle of friends had positive mindsets, it felt surreal. As Hanbin and Y/N got food for themselves again, they walked towards the table the others had sat around. Alice, Mingi, Jisoo, Matthew and another young man, whose name was Taerae, sat at the table talking to each other, and when they saw Hanbin and Y/N approach them, they scooted to the side of the table to let them some space. “Cinderella, I’m not sure you cleaned everything properly…” Alice lightly mocked Y/N. “Ah, I apologize, evil stepmother, next time I shall do better.” The two chuckled, and a few giggles could be heard around them too. “We were talking about how we met each other!” Matthew said as he looked in Hanbin and Y/N’s direction, who were now sitting in front of one another. “Mhm, I told them that the moment I saw you laying on those seats in the bus, the first thing I thought was ‘That sack of potatoes is going to become my best friend.’, and it turns out I can predict the future!” Alice jumped in, explaining the story again so that Hanbin could be caught up. “...So most of your first times meeting someone are eventful moments.” Hanbin joked, referring himself to their own meeting. “I know, right? I don’t know what it is, but I can’t meet someone without dragging myself through the mud first.” Hanbin chuckled again, his eyes litting up as he did. Y/N thought he had a beautiful smile. “What about you? How did you guys meet?” Jisoo asked. “Oh, Taerae and I attended the same singing lessons! As for Matthew, our parents have known each other for a long time, so I’ve been taking care of him since he transferred here.” Hanbin explained, to which Matthew interjected. “You make it sound like I’m a baby or something…” “Yeah, my baby!~” The black haired boy went to tease the other by poking his cheeks, and a small whine came out of Matthew’s mouth, although it seemed clear to Y/N that he was actually enjoying it. Y/N smiled as Mingi yelled out a ‘cute!’. The group kept on conversing up until time came to head off to class again. “We should probably get going…” Taerae said as he tapped Hanbin’s right shoulder. Hanbin nodded. “We’ll see you around then! and take care of Matthew for me!” Hanbin chuckled as he smiled at the others. Matthew lightly hit him on the shoulder, pretending to complain. “Y/N, you’re his deskmate, you’ve gotta make sure he doesn’t get in trouble!” Mingi replied. “Well they’re not doing that well of a job considering how both of them got called out by Mr. Kim already…” Alice joined in. Y/N sighed, they waved back at Hanbin and Taerae, and then walked their way back to their classroom. Matthew’s friends weren’t that bad at all. It was surprising to Y/N how quickly they managed to make them feel at ease.

The remaining lessons were over quite quickly, and when Mr. Kim came back for the last class, he had prepared a small evaluation test for the class to take in pairs. It wasn’t really difficult, and by then, Matthew and Y/N had had enough conversations for them to avoid feeling awkward and focus on the test, even joking around from time to time as some of the problems presented to them were quite funny. After they were done, they handed their test over, and made their way out of the class. There were a few people already out, waiting for everybody to finish. They were discussing what answers were correct for each question, and Matthew basically dragged Y/N into the conversation. The two were satisfied as it seemed like they had done a good enough job. Not too long after, the bell rang, and people started making their way out of the school. After having said bye to Matthew, Mingi and Jisoo, Alice and Y/N got on the bus back home. They were slightly tired, but the fact that club activities had not started yet made everything easier on them. “T’was not a bad first day, was it?” “That’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one who made a mess in the cafeteria…” “Nobody even noticed…” “People were looking though.” “Not for long!” Y/N sighed. “...I guess that’s true. It wasn’t that bad. Matthew and his friends seem nice too.” Alice nodded. “Pretty cute as well.” Y/N laughed out loud in response. Alice wasn’t wrong, they were all quite handsome. Y/N could have seen all of them as potential idols or models in the future. “That’s my stop!” Alice said as she waved to Y/N. “See you tomorrow!” “See ya.” Soon enough, Y/N’s bus stop also came in sight, prompting them to stand up and move to get off. It didn’t take long for Y/N to walk down the road to reach their house, their mind empty as they only thought about wanting to take an afternoon nap. “Well, hello there.” A familiar voice called out to them. Y/N turned around to stare at the source of said voice, only to find Matthew’s friend, Sung Hanbin, standing behind them. “...Oh, hi. What…are you doing here?” Hanbin was smiling gently, and Y/N’s body couldn’t help but react by smiling back at him. They noticed he wasn’t wearing the same shirt that was dirtied in the cafeteria. Did someone lend him a new shirt? Did he get in trouble with teachers for having dirtied his school uniform? Y/N’s paranoid mind brought them to worry about things that likely didn’t even matter. “I transferred there.” Hanbin pointed in a direction behind Y/N, and when they turned around, they saw it was the house that was recently sold that Hanbin was pointing at. “Oh, I see.” “What about you?” He asked with a curious tone of voice. “I live there.” Y/N exclaimed, pointing at a house that was two buildings away from Hanbin’s own.

Y/N didn’t know what to say and how to react to Hanbin’s surprised face. His small smile turned bigger, as his eyes started to shine a light of their own. “Are you for real?!” Y/N lightly nodded their head. “Mhm.” Hanbin immediately went to grab Y/N’s hands in his own, shaking them up and down energetically. ‘...What is wrong with him…’ Y/N couldn’t help but think that, even though they didn’t mean that as a mean question, they were weirdly happy about that outburst of energy. “I’m so glad to have someone I know in the neighborhood!” He said as he finally let go of Y/N’s hand, only to take a step back, cough to himself to recompose himself, and lean a hand forward. “I should officially introduce myself: my name is Sung Hanbin, it’s nice to meet you, neighbor.” Y/N’s eyes widened as they paused for a second to stare at the young man in front of them. They opened their mouth to say something, but only a loud laughter came out. “W- I was just-” Y/N took Hanbin’s hand in their own, shaking it firmly. “L/N Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you, neighbor.” If Y/N’s life were to be transposed to a movie or a TV series, Y/N knew that they wouldn’t be able to be a main character. They did not have the qualities to be one. But Sung Hanbin did. Sung Hanbin had all the qualities to be the main character of any story he’d be put in. Even if it were Y/N’s life, Sung Hanbin would end up becoming the protagonist. Y/N was ok with that, as Sung Hanbin was the person that would have turned their entire life into something Y/N would have never let go of. On that day, Sung Hanbing and L/N YN’s story began.

[louisjude]

Honestly -

Most of these ‘fans’ do not like Buck for Buck. They have created a version of him in canon and anything he does that doesn’t fit it it’s OOC for them, even if it is exactly how he’d act (case in point: The BT scene on 710). They, somehow, cannot accept Buck has changed and matured and is not the same guy he was during S2/S3. Hell, he’s grown alone during S7 alone. Discovering a part of himself has done wonders for him.

Likewise, I truly believe the only representation they care about or want is if it comes in the form of Buddie. They cry on how Henren is being ignored and how it is BuckTommy’s fault, but when have they ever shown care or interest for them beforehand? They use them as part of their argument without giving them proper attention. They don’t care we now have great mlm representation on screen in a show like 911, they’re just mad because it is not Buddie.

And I do suspect they became this mad this fast because they do see the potential of BT and they know this can very well be a LTR for Buck. Ofc we don’t know what will happen, but if we look at it from a neutral POV, we all can see the seeds being planted for Tommy to be there for a while. They’ve made creative choices with him that they haven’t made with no other LI that really sells it for me, to be honest.

(Including giving them a particular sound for everytime they have a moment, but I digress)

I do agree with you - I care about Buck being happy. I was quick to get on board with BT because I have never seen Buck act so giddy and into someone. And so far, I think Tommy is matching him really well. We’ll see what happens in Season 8, but I would be surprised if they break up during it, even more so if it is ep 3/4, which arguably will be right after the start of the season (assuming they go for a multi eps opener)

If I'm being honest, the toxic side of that part of the fandom feels very reminiscent of certain subset of another fandom I'm apart of that I do not want to delve into because I've already done so many times.

get ready for a long response

I came into the 911 fandom as bvddie shipper, I still love the ship itself, idc if it ever goes canon because fanfic exists, edits exist, fanart exists. I love eddie and buck as separate characters respectively and I do not need them to be together enjoy their relationship whether it's platonic or romantic.

I think a lot of the loud, toxic shippers cannot separate them. Listen I think the co-parent jokes are hilarious and cute, but when it comes down to it in reality of the show, buck is not chris' parent. he's like an uncle, so many ppl grow up with their parents friends as their "aunts and uncles" and that's exactly how I'm viewing chris and bucks relationship ever since I've come down from the bvddie high of analyzing everything and putting meaning behind every little piece of dialogue or set design or just like anything. I can acknowledge 911 is not a blockbuster franchise that has months or years of thought put into meaning behind set design or clothing choices like other fandoms I'm apart of that absolutely have so much thought and time put into them for things like that.

bvddie in itself is a great concept. absolutely you can read into scenes as being romantic even if they never were intended that way, that's what we do as fans. I completely understand why ppl see them as endgame because they're absolutely allowed to think that. but us bucktommy shippers are allowed to also talk about why we think bucktommy is endgame. I think that's another issue ppl are having is being able to curate their own feed, if you don't want to see people talk about one of these topics then block accs, block tags, keep your peace!

buck and tommy absolutely feel as though they have been written to last from what I've seen so far so tommy leaving so quickly would feel weird and like a punch in the gut to the journey buck as made. he made the effort to be with tommy even after everything went south. tommy made the effort to show up for buck. we are shown them being on very good terms by the season finale, like, we are probably intimate with one another and are in our cute honeymoon phase type of good terms. having them break up so early would be another Ali/Natalia moment and like, I just am tired of the same story being repeated for buck.

If they really were going for bvddie endgame, I think it would have been done this season. tommy wouldn't have been brought in at all or wouldn't have been involved in the plot outside helping rescue bobby and athena. they didn't need kim there, they could have built on eddies catholic guilt for his queer arc, they could have written what people were theorizing with the bachelor party where buck and eddie ended up kissing while drunk which could have spurred their relationship to begin and still have eddie go through a crisis and found a way to have chris still leave for texas (if they wanted to stick with a cheating arc, it could have been marisol & chris walking in on buck and eddie kissing) like there's so many things people theorized that genuinely would have been great ways to have bvddie be endgame but literally none of those things happened and instead we got buck in a stable, happy relationship with tommy that has been set up in a way that absolutely can have them going through all sorts of things from strengthening their relationship to testing their relationship. tommy can absolutely be integrated into the plot as much as karen is if not more. all I can say is why throw away such potential when you already had the other potential there?

also as an eddie diaz defender, they can never make me hate eddie diaz, I just want to see him not feel this constant need to find a new mom/wife when he's never had time for himself EVER. he needs therapy, he needs to build back trust with christopher, he needs to stop searching for this perfect woman because if there's someone out there for him they will find him eventually. I really want eddie to focus on chris and himself and stop worrying so much about what his life should look like per his family/what society thinks his life should look like.

I truly cannot stress enough how much eddie needs to fix himself and his and chris' relationship before jumping into another romance, whether it be buck or anyone else.

on the other hand, buck deserves to be loved ANYWAYS. tommy is already showing potential to just love buck anyways despite anything that happens, that he'll do anything for him, that he can be his rock. gerrard can definitely be smh to shake them up, no couple in this show is safe from anything no matter how in love and happy they are. it's time for buck to have his madney, bathena, henren moments with his own love interest. buck deserves to be happy with tommy, to go through the hard times with him, for someone to love him no matter what and that absolutely does not take away from how important buck and eddie's friendship is. people cannot seem to grasp that unfortunately and it's sad.

in other words, im so tired of people acting like they are superior over ships. I truly am.

[attonposting]

Okay, so Carth keeps coming up lately, both by people who love him and people who don't, and I thought I'd throw my two cents into the ring.

People complain that Carth is sexist, a lot. And I get where that's coming from, I've got the same issues with his romance as anyone else. I love the bones of Carth's character and remember him very fondly – he's tied for my favorite character from KotOR I, even! But the writing is... flawed, to say the least, and in a way that goes past just 'poorly aged.' I don't think his lines themselves ever go worse than awkward, but there's some more fundamentally unhealthy stuff written into his relationship that I suspect wasn't intentional.

What I find interesting, and what a meme just very succinctly pointed out, is that many of the same people who have beef with Carth are cool with Atton. Who is definitely the more sexist of the two, both incidentally and deliberately. And it's a really interesting differentiation between the two pilots/f!PC love interests/earlygame buddies, because I think their palatability comes entirely down to how the games portray that sexism. So this is my attempt to figure out why one thing works and the other kinda doesn't.

Carth Onasi is introduced as a stand-up guy. He stays behind as long as he possibly can to save other survivors on the Endar Spire; he believes in the Republic wholeheartedly, he serves to protect and approves when you do the same, and other characters sing his accolades. He's supposed to be wholesome, but with PTSD-related trust issues that cause friction between him and you.

Atton Rand is the opposite of that. You find him in a jail cell, he's untrustworthy and a cad, at any given moment he's either abrasive or lying through his teeth, he complains when you help people, and when you get to the bottom of his trust issues, you find out he's a worse guy than you ever could have imagined.

It's much too oversimplified to say that Carth is supposed to be a good person and Atton is not, that's not where the problem comes from, but it will become relevant later.

When Carth starts flirting with you... okay. The biggest, most obvious problem is that the game wants you to be into it. Carth flirts and continues to flirt after you can tell him to stop. Sure, whatever; that's not egregious. You can respond to Carth's flirting positively or negatively, and that's great... but when you do respond negatively, the game loves to pull you into these playful insult exchanges where your PC shouts and pouts while Carth taunts you. There's where the issues start. Even when the player is trying to shut him down, they get dragged along for the ride anyway, and the narrative decides that this is also romantic. Thus KotOR I only has a shallow understanding that it's presenting a situation a woman may want nothing to do with. It's kind of impressive that you can actually call Carth sexist in-game, and yet it doesn't feel like the game actually understands that he is in fact being sexist.

Actually, no. Maybe I'm reading too deep into this, maybe this is why I'm so forgiving to Carth as a character, but I don't think the problem is Carth, I think the problem is that the game is being sexist in this particular spot. I was more annoyed by my own return dialogue options than anything Carth said to me - especially the ones where I was being mean. It felt like f!Revan was being pigeonholed hard into the writer's idea of 'women', that it was not an especially flattering or nuanced view, and there wasn't anything that I actually wanted to say. Definitely the writer did not understand my perspective as a player – but that's not a problem unique to K1 and it's one even the sequel is super guilty of at times, so I'll move on for now.

When Atton makes skeevy remarks, you always have at least one dialogue option to call him out for it, and you cannot ever react positively to what he says. Either you smack him down or you ignore him. This is extremely important. Yes, you could argue that it's not as accommodating to how different players might react... but what this establishes is that the game is self-aware. It does not think what Atton is doing is in any way attractive, or that it should be interpreted positively. Instead it acknowledges what a lady's probable reaction to his unwanted advances would be and encourages the player to express it, and the way that's written isn't a playful back-and-forth, it's the Exile snapping at him and Atton backtracking. Atton's being a piece of shit, but instead of stirring up chemistry, the narrative goes out of its way to mete out karma – hence everyone else on the ship mocking him, or the comically topical details like him being an unwashed loser who smells terrible and scratches his junk in public. Whether you like Atton or not, the game wants you to know that it thinks he sucks, and you are never left feeling like there is an unsettled score.

On the contrary, this lack of self-awareness is what makes Carth's romance in K1 hard to swallow if you didn't start out receptive to it. When you can react negatively to Carth's comments, it doesn't feel like you can do so in an intelligent way. The tone is very “Ugh, MEN, amirite” rather than “I don't like the turn this conversation has taken and would like to just be your colleague again” or just “Stop.” - which is probably what you wanted to say if you were just platonically enjoying or less-amicably bickering with your dorito-jacket companion when the gorgeouses started coming out of left field.

Worse, when you actually can shut Carth's romance down, it involves being a dick to him and stomping hard on his personal issues. Like I'd understand if a player was angry with him at this point, because again, you've been forced into a romance arc even when you were telling the game no as much as it would let you - but there's a huge difference between wanting to tell a guy to back off and wanting to shit on his dead wife or his Sith kid or his blown-up planet. I dunno, I'm not that vindictive! I think there's only a couple of options at the very end of his romance tree where you can turn him down... not even amicably, it's still rude, just without being a Grade-A asshole, and by that point, you have been through a lot of flirting you presumably didn't want to be involved with. Generally, the game won't let you break things off with him without being a dick, even if you never agreed to board that train in the first place. Now loop back to the way that K1 unfailingly portrays Carth as a great guy, whose flaws have nothing to do with his upstanding sense of morality, and there's where the dissonance comes from. Not only does the game push you into his romance after you said no, it makes you the bad guy for trying to get out of what he initiated.

But there's another issue in the timing of the Carth relationship. He starts his flirting while he's expressing intense distrust and standoffishness with your PC. With Carth's nonstop skepticism about your trustworthiness, and constantly bringing up his issues with you... at least during Taris and Dantooine, it comes off more like his attraction to you is superficial and not as a result of him growing to like you, something that's pushed by how it's always focused on shallow hooks like your appearance or your 'cute' attitude. It's very awkward. I do not think this was the writer's intent. I think Carth's supposed to be captivated by what he's seen you do, and that's just going in recursive loops in his paranoid little brain and making things harder for him. By the end of the romance, it's extremely clear that Carth's into you for you. But it's clumsily handled at the start.

Contrast this with Atton, who starts off aggressively sexist towards a female Exile, fifty times more offensive than anything Carth ever does. Literally the first line he gets is leering at the PC's forced state of undress, mocking her vulnerability, and he continues in that vein for much of Peragus. He creeps on your nudity at least four times off the top of my head, he ogles you, he complains about women, he tries to hit on you, he even contemplates the possibility of Sexy Kreia (which is a level of dickery I can scarcely comprehend.)

But that tapers off and disappears around the time he starts showing actual romantic interest in your PC, like when Kreia threatens him and it's revealed how much your opinion matters to him, or when he asks Bao-Dur for advice. And a female PC never sees it again. This creates the opposite impression – that Atton's attraction is a result of your time together. Sure, he's still a pig, but it follows that he wasn't making serious passes at you on Peragus because his behavior now that he is actually interested in you has changed. And it implies that in an actual relationship, that would not be how he'd view or treat you, which I think is crucial for how willing people are to ship Atton with their Exiles.

Now, this is all a product of how K2 did not actually answer that question and let you romance Atton, because with Carth, it's the opposite and you see exactly how he behaves once he gets into a serious relationship. It involves spanking. Things could be very different if K2 actually had fleshed out romances. It's hard to say, because both the PC and the crew were very thoughtfully written (I will take a bold step here and say that K2's characters were on the whole written much better than K1's), but on the other hand, Atton is still the worst and I'm pretty sure the game would want to remind you of that if you agreed to play tonsil hockey with him. And it may have crashed into the same pitfall that Carth's did; if the game railroaded your interactions with Atton up to some point, it'd leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth who wasn't already signed up for the ship.

With the way things are, Atton not only gets a free pass to be interpreted as generously as his fans want and easily ignored by those who weren't keen on him, he even gets an interest boost from this because people will always want what they can't have.

Anyway. With a male PC, you'll continue to see Atton make sexist remarks towards other female characters and can even have a wingman chat with him that is entirely him projecting his issues all over women. He doesn't make these comments with a female PC, suggesting that he's on his best behavior... but that he'd still totally be a leering asshole if he wasn't trying to impress you. With a male PC and Carth, his sexism is nonexistent, again probably because he was never intended to be sexist and it's a product of clumsy/oblivious writing.

There's an additional layer with Atton and the question of how much anything he does is an act, but that doesn't exonerate him from any of the crap he says. I could write a separate essay on Atton and his relationship with women, but the guy is very much a womanizer who's terrified of the idea of intimacy and has a lot of shitty opinions that stem from his defensive need to believe that nothing emotional is ever real or relevant to him. He might've been casing the Exile on Peragus, but his chauvinism is genuine.

But I digress. The tl,dr; is that Atton acts less sucky the more he crushes on you and Carth acts more. Combo that with how their respective games make Atton pay for being creepy but give the strong impression they want you to go along with Carth's nonsense, and it's a little less mystifying why Carth gets so little benefit of the doubt while the King of Trash enjoys fandom sexyman status. His romance is almost predicated on the fact that he's a scumbag, where Carth's is very confused to whether the awkward parts should exist or not.

There's a bit more that kinda hurts Carth. The flirting... well, from what I remember it just got “wow, okay then” later on, and I found it way more silly than offensive in any way, but him repeatedly bringing up how you remind him of his dead wife doesn't help the relationship much and suggests that Carth may be projecting someone else over you. I can live with that, drama's tasty and it doesn't prevent a real connection from burgeoning. You can make the exact same argument for Atton anyway, and I think his is way worse. My major issue is at the end of the game. Mr. Trust Issues does not react well to the events on the Leviathan, when it turns out he was right to have kept an eye on the PC all along. It's great payoff! And I absolutely adore his discussion after that, when he admits his struggles to reconcile you and Revan, how he tried but he can't hate you, how helping you gave him something real when revenge only left him hollow. Seriously, for all the shade it gets, there's some really great stuff in his romance too - you just have to stick it out long enough to see it. But then, on Rakata Prime, Carth seems to reconcile his crisis of faith and finally, wholeheartedly decide to love you in a way that falls flat on its face. He confirms you're a good person because you're not Revan anymore, like Revan is some purely evil part of you you've now cast off, when... that really seems more like denial than anything else, and not the foundation for anything healthy.

Seriously, I wish they'd handled that with more nuance. It would have counted for so much in my books.

All of that said. I know I just went after the man like a vending machine with a stuck bottle of chocolate milk, but I think the sexist vibes in Carth's romance are worst at the start and that he does not deserve the sheer amount of flack he gets. I've seen far worse offenders in the world of video game romances, and this might drive some controversy in and of itself, but I vastly prefer Carth x f!Revan to Bastila x m!Revan. There's a whole 'nother pile of issues in K1's other official ship (f in chat for Juhani), and I think those are much harder to deal with than the ones here. If anything frustrates me with Carth's romance, it's how unnecessary all of the bullshit is. I really want to get into it! The concept is perfectly fine! I love the character! There's good stuff in there! And when I replay KotOR, it's not that difficult to close my eyes to the bleh parts and enjoy the rest, especially once the first couple of conversations are past. Again, all Carth needed was a more conscientious writer at the wheel.

I'd be really interested in hearing other people's takes, both on how they interacted with either of those romances or where their interpretations differed from mine. I only have my own perspective and that of a few people I've talked to over the years, and I'm given to understand this is something of a fandom hot topic!

[theblueeyedfirebender]

20 questions for writers

Tagging myself into this because I’m a giant loser and I think it’ll be fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Twelve!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

34,421

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Of my twelve fics, there are eleven for Fullmetal Alchemist and one for Avatar: The Last Airbender. And I am strongly considering dipping my toes into the world of Spy x Family as well (just as soon as I finish Code White).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Uncle Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender, Zutara)

2. The Counteroffer (Fullmetal Alchemist, Royai)

3. The Art of Living On (Fullmetal Alchemist, Royai)

4. The Flame Alchemist's Daughter (Fullmetal Alchemist, Royai)

5. Checkmate (Fullmetal Alchemist, Royai)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! When people take the time to share their thoughts on my work, it means the world to me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm, it's a tie between As You Were and The Flame Alchemist's Daughter.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Death and Taxes, in spite of its bleak title!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, no.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nah. I can’t even write a smooch scene without blushing and looking over my shoulder.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't, but I'm not opposed to the idea if the right concept were to come to me. Closest thing I have to a crossover now is my latest fic, Mrs. Mustang, which is inspired by a scene from Pride and Prejudice.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. There's a special place in fandom hell for people who do that shit.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that would be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Also no, also would be cool!

14. What is your all-time favorite ship?

Ah man, I have to say Zutara (Zuko x Katara, Avatar: The Last Airbender). I've shipped them since I was a kid watching Sozin's Comet in my parent's basement in 2008. They're the ship that got me into writing fanfiction. Even though they aren't canon (*sob*) and I don't write them much anymore, they'll always be my OTP.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ahhhh don't kill me but The Bookshelf has been giving me trouble. I have a lot of Part 2 written but it just doesn't feel right, yaknow?

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm clear and concise. I think I'm pretty good at tension, particularly romantic tension, and angst. I pay very close attention to characterization, and pride myself in accurate portrayals of the characters in my fanfics.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm slow. My word counts tend to be low - side effect of being concise. I gloss over descriptions that I should probably spend more time on. I'm good at writing romantic tension, but when that tension culminates, I feel like it just gets awkward and then I cut things short when I really should draw them out. Humor and true fluff pieces do not come naturally to me, though I'm trying to stretch myself by writing more of those.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have never done this, so no thoughts except for it sounds difficult!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Avatar: The Last Airbender

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is hard, but has to be The Counteroffer, my first and most-loved Fullmetal Alchemist piece. In a creative sense, writing this story opened the gateway (lol) to so much more for me, and I'm eternally thankful that my little debut to this fandom (and return to writing overall) was so well received.

Death and Taxes and Hourglass are also close to my heart.

Tagging in @starwritingbri, @they-lived, @musing-and-music, @fullmetalscullyy, @writing-royza, and YOU if you want to join in!

[sweet-s0rr0w]

helloooooo sweet i peeped in your wireless reveal that your next long fic is coming NEXT YEAR eep! 100k of sweet sweet sweet's prose—i am SALIVATING.

wondering if you want to share a tiny little morsel, a crumb, a nibble as we eagerly await what will surely be a masterpiece <3 a snip? a plot point? something about your long fic writing process if any or all of the above is confidential?

(as always, no pressure to share or answer this ask! just trying to be better about contributing to ask culture/doing public tumblr asks so fandom doesn't get siloed <3)

Helloooo El! So lovely to hear from you. I've been really absent from fandom for most of this year, not had the energy to chat with many people, and just about managing to dip my toes back in now, so thanks for thinking of me <3

Haha, my long fic! It's an idea I've had for years now - two things I've wanted to write for ages: older Drarry, and fast sexual/slow romantic burn. It involves a lot of forced proximity, and general peril, and an OC who I love, and a canon HP character I've never written before. I'm hoping that the stars align and I can submit it for Big Bang 2025 - in fact, I was writing it for this year's, until the announcement came that there wouldn't be a fest in 2024 - so I can't say any more about the content as details have to stay anon until author/artist matching.

My long fic writing process, though, is no secret <3 the first thing I ever wrote was 110k, and I had absolutely no plan, no outline, started in the middle, jumped from scene to scene, and when I got stuck I'd chuck the baby in the sling and walk around the block until I'd solved my problem. This time round, you know, bit more experienced (haha), the fic has more worldbuilding, a more complex plot - I thought I'd buy Scrivener and do what the grown ups do with making character cards and notes and little tabs for the different scenes and stuff. Anyway, long story short: I've written the 55k I've got so far in MS Word, I've jumped around all over the place, and my 'outline' is a collection of dialogue snippets meant for the scenes I haven't written yet. There really is no hope!

What about you, though? As you know, I adore your writing, your last two Wireless fics have been must-reads for me, and I'm eagerly awaiting the completion of your current WIP. What's your process? Are you a chaotic mess like me or do you actually manage to plan things in advance? 🙈🙈

[wishforhome]

so so late but rules of engagement for the wip folder tag game thing?

I really wanted someone to ask about this one so I am PLEASED.

This is from my wardencrow polycule series, in which Viago (of course it's Viago) insists that they need to agree on rules for their relationship and sign a contract.

I'm struggling with it because it's basically just an INSANELY LONG conversation. I have most of the dialogue written but I need to fill out all the stuff *around* the dialogue and it's a drag and I kind of hate it.

I kind of feel like I need to throw out what I have and maybe approach it differently, because I'm just not sure the current format works.

But here's what I've got so far for the intro, plus the actual rules. Under the cut for length!

The house is dark and quiet, with candles set glowing around the room. In the hearth, a blazing fire casts flickering shadows across the walls. Four goblets on the table, filled with wine. The four of them sit around the table in various states of undress: Viago and Lucanis are wearing trousers but nothing else; Rook is in one of Lucanis’s shirts, loose and unbuttoned; and Teia – of course – is completely bare, leaning back in her chair with one foot resting in Viago’s lap. “This is the third time,” Viago says, and he draws towards him the sheet of paper and writing implements he had asked Lucanis for. “If we’re going to keep doing this, we need to set some ground rules.” Teia throws her head back when she laughs. “A contract, Vi? Really? That is so you.”

But Lucanis leans forward in his own chair, his elbows on the table. “He’s right, though,” he says. “It’s a good idea. It keeps things neat.” Rook eyes her lover, quirking an eyebrow. The whole thing feels a little … silly. “I understanding wanting to keep things clear,” she says, “but a contract seems a bit excessive. Do we have to sign it in blood?” Viago’s expression is as serious as usual; only the fact that he’s determined to write the document while half-dressed points to the absurdity of the situation. He taps the tip of the quill against the page as he explains. “It wasn’t a big deal when this was just a thing we did once or twice for fun. But if we keep doing it – if this becomes an ongoing arrangement – there are risks. Big ones,” he says. “We’re Crows, most of us, and this is dangerous. A contract is how we keep things clear. We all agree, we all sign – ink will do – and it protects everyone.” Rook frowns. “Dangerous?” she echoes. “But it’s just sex.” Viago shakes his head. “In the Crows, it’s never just sex.” He writes a handful of words across the top of the page. Teia leans over towards him and stifles a giggle. “‘Mutual Agreement for Discretion and Proper Conduct,’” she reads out loud. “You’re taking this very seriously, darling.” “It is serious,” Viago insists, but there is a certain brightness in his eyes and a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Now, who wants to suggest the first rule?”

The Rules:

First Rule. We respect each other’s boundaries, and we never push anyone to do anything they aren’t interested in. Second Rule. We keep the lines of communication open, and we only lie to each other when absolutely necessary. Third Rule. It should be fun. If it stops being fun, we stop doing it. Fourth Rule. It should be mutually beneficial – politically, personally, and physically. Fifth Rule. Nobody falls in love; this is not a romantic arrangement. Sixth Rule. It must be secret. No matter how trustworthy someone seems, nobody outside the four (five) of us can ever know. Seventh Rule. Outside of the bedroom, we are never app together without a good reason. Eighth Rule. No threesomes. When we’re together, it’s all of us, or not at all. Ninth Rule. If anybody wants out, it’s over – no questions asked, no hard feelings, no consequences.

Bonus: My favourite part of their conversation, about rule eight.

R: Nobody gets left out. Nobody gets left behind. V: Are you really bringing your Warden mission protocols into this? R: (dryly) Yes, my group sex Warden protocols, that’s exactly what this is. We have a manual and everything, you know. Training drills, the works. T: I didn’t realize the Wardens were so … progressive. R: Oh yeah. All those long nights in damp, dark forts. You get bored, you know.

[courfee]

Author Interview

Thanks for the tag @badhairred @messrsrarchives <33333

How many works do you have on AO3?

Ao3 says 18, but i think one of them is hidden

What's your total AO3 word count?

381,569 :) nearly half the words are just from one fic

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

- Operation Walburga's Arbitrary No Kissing Ever Rule - All My Theory Complete - Borrow My Name - blindspot - If you ask nicely

Do you respond to comments?

Yeah!!! Even if it takes me forever to reply most of the time

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

let's walk the road backwards the way we came. The tags on that fic are there for a reason

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Honestly probably Operation Walburga's Arbitrary No Kissing Ever Rule, just because it has the best payoff

Do you write crossovers?

Not anymore, but i have!! I've once written a comic where the tenth doctor and rose land the tardis in hogwarts and meet rose, albus and scorpius. Also i think i started a chronicles of syntax hogwarts AU once? No idea where rhat went tho

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah :\\\

Do you write smut?

I have written smut before and it will probably happen again even if it's really not my thing. Like i think i'm decent enough at it but i don't enjoy it

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I dont think so

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone translated the first couple chapters of amtc i think?

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've started something with @alarainai :3

What's your all-time favorite ship?

All time favourite, whatever the fuck james and sirius have going on. Romantic ship probably jegulus lbh

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Too many, honestly :( the most recent one is the marauders krabat AU, tho ive not fully given up hope on that one yet. I also have a fic i started in 2011 that's just scorpius malfoy's diary that i adore and i do truly think that one wont get continued...

What are your writing strengths?

Hmm i think i'm probably good at very emotionally driven stuff? Doesn't quite matter what the emotion is. Also i've been told i do group settings well which is nice since i love writing friendships

What are your writing weaknesses?

I apparently can't write things without conflict. My first attempt of a smut oneshot immediately got away from me cause i didnt know how to write things without some angst. I overcomplicate things for my characters too much. Also in a more specific matter, i use the word "just" for too often

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Depends on the context!! If it's two characters speaking a different language, absolutely!! I do also love specifics like reg just cursing in french, thats fun. I have a bit of a pet peeve when someone admits to their feelings in their native language instead of english because that is just too unrealistic for me. I literally switch from german to english when the conversation gets too vulnerable to be able to deal with stuff

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Honestly none really, i rarely ever feel the need to branch out from my little corners

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Probably Operation Walburga's Arbitrary No Kissing Ever Rule, but On Lies And Spies i care about so so much as well

np tagging @alarainai @snarky-magpie @starsworth @where-is-vivian @ultravioletbrit <33