#But then again how broken are these kids when the book ends

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

Having late feelings about Beetee and his batch of children

[fanaticalthings]

I really like the idea of the bat kids designating Dick and Jason's apartments as sibling gathering spots but for opposite reasons.

Sibling needs some comfort? Some eldest daughter advice? A shoulder to cry on or just a lil getaway spot from the chaos of Gotham? Dick's apartment is perfect.

But if a batkid wants to complain, maybe wants to talk shit about Bruce, or maybe even wants to discuss a lil felony in a judgement free zone? Jason's place it is.

And I like to imagine that while Dick readily keeps his doors open and reminds anyone that they can drop by anytime, it's the opposite for Jason.

Dude's got his place riddled with traps and locked up to the high heavens. He makes it obvious he doesn't want visitors, and vaguely insinuates that there are bombs rigged somewhere in his apartment so there's a always a 50/50 chance you might get blown up if he's feeling particularly bitchy one day.

But does that stop his siblings? Absolutely not. Unlike Dick (who assigns himself as the guiding older brother), Jason has been forcefully labelled as the older sibling you go to if you need to complain and stir up havoc. The hundreds of traps in his place mean nothing. And it's worse because Jason is never prepared for when someone drops in.

-----

[Jason, 3 hours into his sleep, blearily waking up to a weight on his chest at 4am]:

[Damian, perched atop him, eyes dead-centre locked onto Jason without blinking]: Hello, Todd-stop screaming it is unbecoming-I just came to tell you that father won't allow me to adopt another stray I found on patrol.

Jason, half-asleep and like 70% sure he's hallucinating: Wha-

Damian: I need you to blow up his car.

Jason:

-----

[Jason, arriving home after a 6 hour patrol, exhausted out of his mind, turning on the lights]:

[Stephanie, previously baking brownies in the pitch black darkness before Jason arrived]: Oh hey! Just thought I'd drop by, y'know, for fun.

Jason: Bruce yelled at you again.

Stephanie: Bruce yelled at me again.

And yes, while most of the time, it ends up as wholesome sibling bonding, sometimes the other batkids just feel like inconveniencing Jason just whenever, because what are siblings for?

[Jason waking up and seeing all of his traps and security systems disarmed and very deliberately broken in a way where he'll have to replace all of them instead of being able to reactivate them]:

[Jason, immediately dialing his phone angrily]: Tim, I swear to GOD-

-----

[Jason giving himself a rest-day and cooking some meals]:

[Dick somersaulting in through the open window unannounced (he missed his brother)]: Whatcha up to, littlewing? :>

Jason: GET OUT-

-----

[Jason casually reading a book, feeling a sudden chill up his spine]:

[Cassandra standing in the corner without so much as an exhale, watching Jason intensely. Who knows how long she's been there]:

Jason: Are you here to kill me

Cass:

Jason: Just make it quick.

[kaivenom]

One piece men first reaction to having a wet dream about you

Characters: Zoro, Luffy, Sanji, Kid, Killer, Law

Warnings: NSFW, obviously

A/N: i am starting to think that i will put some of the future preferences with multiple parts, to give the One Piece Dilf a place too.

Masterlist

Monkey D. Luffy

Is surprised, a lot. He was dreaming about meat and suddently it transformed in your body, naked.

The cream of cakes and the juices from the meat covering all your body in a revealing pose.

When he oppened his eyes, he stared at the ceiling trying to process why you were on his dream.

Then he realized how his stomach felt strange and his pants incredibly tight.

He knew that feeling wasn't from hunger, so he let his hand travel to his crotch and palm it thru the underwear.

It felt really good, he finally slided his hand on his underwear and started to pump slowly his cock.

All he could think about is your body and how good would that image look in front of him.

When he was on the edge of cumming, he realized that maybe it he should go talk to you.

A broken moan escaped his lips while he got up from the bed, with a painfully hard member.

He needed to know if you can help him.

Roronoa Zoro

He feels "horrified", he tents to avoid feelings, talks or being emotional involved with anyone.

So, when he dream about you sucking him off with a smile, he got into a really bad mood.

Everyone noticed but nobody could know why, he got especially tense when you were around.

The end point came on lunch, when he had to saw you eat a hot dog, his mind went crazy of reminiscing all the things from his dream.

He went fast to the crow's net and tried to workout all the feelings away.

He got hard, really hard, to the point he couldn't concentrate on nothing.

After a whole hour of changing exercizes furiously, he sat down, trembling, sweating and whimpering... but not from the workout.

With a dissapointed grunt he started to jerk off, at first crusing your name with irritation and at the end letting out breathless moans.

He cummed a lot, all over his body. His only thought while he was heading to the showers was not to bump into you.

Vinsmoke Sanji

His hand was on his pants even before he wakes up.

He moans, whimpers and sights with every touch he imagine you do to him.

The vision of your breasts bouncing while you ride him, unable to touch you because his hands are tied up, that drives him crazy.

He doesn't know if he is still asleep or he is already awake, but he cums undone with a really loud moan.

He is not very good at pretending or trying to be quiet.

Then he felt bad about dishonoring you, but felt sooo good to him.

His day went crazy from there, having some avoidant attachment we could say.

He changes between being your living servant and licking your feet to locking himself on the kitchen.

You didn't understand that, it was really weird, but in fact, he gets away to hide the boner you make him feel.

He usually controls his impulses but after that dream he can't keep his hands out of himself.

He really wanted to aproach you on the kitchen and eat you out there, but he can't .... and then he feels bad about imagine it again.

He has a huge conflict between his desires and his chivalry.

Trafalgar Law

He feels ... unproffesional, he is your captain and you are his subordinate, he can't dream about that.

He tries to stay away from you, not from guilt but from embarrasment, from seeing you and only picturing your body riding him while he presses his chest against yours.

Then as the day passed by he starts to get closer to you, not conscientiously but his body someone tried to have some contact.

A little brush on the dinning room, setting himself behind you to get something on a "higher" shelf.

He tries to find excuses to see you alone, trying to have the courage to make a move... saying it to you or kissing you but he couldn't do it.

That lead to unnecesary visits to his office, helping him with some "new" projects on the lab, giving him books, etc.

At the end you spent all the day making stupid walks around the submarine and you got so angry you yelled at him.

He won't admit this part, but you made him hard with your yells at him.

Eustass Kidd

He gets up, not surprised at all to dream about you, he knows exactly what you do to him.

But dreaming about taking you from the back, all in four, his hands on your ass pressing firmly, that caught him out off guard.

He went to take a shower and couldn't resist to jack off under the hot water.

And It works, he is not hard anymore... Until he saw you later on the deck.

He is a very direct person but also a very arrogant one.

That results in having him trying to sound like a fuck boy, making you desire him and show it, before he even tells you he wants to fuck you.

Showing of his muscles and attributes, being extra confident and dominant thinking that the kind of stuff you like.

Once he realized he doesn't need to be that extravagant and just sit there and whisper naughty things on your ears, he will win his prize.

Killer

His dream his very connected with feelings becuase you two were in missionary, you looking at him with heart eyes full of love and lust. (without his helmet)

Goes straight forward to tell you.

Very mature from him, and plus having the helmet he can hide his blush.

When you go to take breakfast, he tells you, sounding very relaxed. He is trying to hide the fact that he is still hard.

He went so fast to tell you that his member didn't catch the message yet.

He presses his body to the counter trying to hide it.

He doesn't want to scary you or make you uncomfortable, he just wants to talk things.

After that, he tries to make distance a little bit to give you time to think.

But he can't help but give small glances to your body, he can't help it... and the helmet helps to be discreet.

[i-yap]

Batboys+bruce x y/n thoughts

Now "the man" is dick grayson. Batman literally said Nightwing is what Batman should have been. He is kind he is understanding he is caring and patient and honestly if you are a little broken, u are assigned to dick . He is wanted by everyone, this is the guy you take home. this is the man who buys you flowers and serenades you and always keeps your boundaries in mind. this is the man that can read you like an open book. that sees the real you no matter how hard you try to hide. Not saying he doesn't have issues, he sucks at communication and commitment. he has a saviours complex. But with the right person, it just fades away and all there is left is the perfect man to marry and have kids and save the world. - aka the married couple

BUT jason is "the man for a woman" . He practically worships the ground you walk on( he lowkey does , like if you're away from the house he'll look at the apartment floor and be like...wheeererrr isss myyyy y/nnnn ) He will leave everything behind for you, will kill everyone no questions asked. Its really heavy and passionate and a little crazy but that's jason for you . It can be a lot for someone who needs personal space or has commitment issues or issues opening up. You got to be really kind, patient and loving when it comes to jason. Very good at reading people and a giver. - aka morticia and gomez

AND Bruce , that dude has a lot of responsibilities. He has no time, he is so busy, he is so tired, he cant be with someone seriously...but why does he want you so bad. You'll have to be strong and patient and forgiving and kind. You will have to force your way into his life and pull him away from all the madness. you are the golden saviour that drags him away from the hell he has been sinking into. pulls him away, encourages him to retire and shows him what a normal life and sleep schedule looks like. After all he has done and given, he deserves to retire with the woman he loves. In many comics, bruce becomes evil from this long life of crime fighting and paranoia or is killed . You save him, teach him that he can too have everything he tries to give other people. A family, peace and love- aka the saving grace

NOW Tim isnt like that at all He is free in all ways the other batboys are not. Dick is so tied down with his superhero responsibilities and jason is so needy and a little demanding to be with . Bruce is tired and not as full of energy . But you can be a kid with tim. there is spontaneity , there is adventure, there is freedom and rebellion and expression of self. The actual teenage love, lets go for a drive and end up in a bull riding contest tim wins and then shut down that ring so no bull is every hurt again. Teeths turning blue from that slushie that just gave him freezebrain. - aka teenage dirtbags

[princesssmars]

making abby squirt with the nails she just paid for…nsfw.

you had seen the cutest nail set one of your friends got on her instant story, and after complimenting her and getting the techs account you couldn’t stop your eyes from widening a little at the prices.

but you only get time to pout about it for a few minutes before abby is prodding you about what’s wrong, scoffing at your complaint about the expensive service and telling you that she’ll ’handle it’.

you almost thought she was kidding until she urged you to book the appointment, even driving you to the location and putting the cash in your hand with a kiss.

so what better way to admire your new nails and repay the favor to abby then to make her go crazy with pleasure beneath you?

well, technically in front of you, trapped between your legs as the both of you face your floor length mirror. convincing her to not only completely bottom for a night but to also use a mirror was a challenge, but with some pleading and batted eyelashes she gave in.

it’s funny to think about, how she tried to be so tough and act like she she didn’t want to be on the bottom like she wasn’t currently moaning and twitching like her life depended on it. you bring up a hand that was grasping her large thigh up to her breast, lightly pinching her left nipple and giggling at the broken sob that leaves her lips.

“please, please, ‘s too much.” her begging is raspy, throat strained by the constant use of her voice. her hands are tied up behind her back and you can feel her trying to free them by the jabbing of her shoulders into yours.

“aww, poor baby.” you coo, pressing sweet kisses to the side of her cheek and neck, heart warming when she pushes her head back onto your shoulder for more affection.

“you’ve only had three, and you always give me at least five. what’s wrong, can dish it but can’t take it?”

she lets out a groan as you simultaneously bite her neck while moving your right hand back down to her pussy, not bothering with teasing her further and instantly going to rub over her clit until she’s the one biting into your neck, hips jerking and mumbling words you can’t make out other than that she’s so close, she’s so god damn close-

you have to bite your lip to keep from squealing as a steady stream of liquid ejects from her, squirting onto the sheets, the floor, even the fucking mirror, giving you the perfect view of the sight of her cumming with your hand still rubbing between her legs, too weak to close her legs to stop you.

all too soon her body calms down, sweaty heap of muscles resting into your chest as her chest rises and falls while she tries to catch her breath. her eyes are closed while she tries to bring herself back, only opening when she hears the telltale sign of you sucking your fingers, hoping it doesn’t show on her face that the heat is already growing again between her thighs.

“can i pay for your nails every time if you do this?”

“of course you can, baby.”

“great. really great. geez, what’ll happen if i pay for your hair appointment next?”

“i’m getting you pregnant, is what.”

“wait, what?”

sorry i thought the ending was funny. idk why i’m writing so much bottom abby am i giving fake pillow princess. ok bye.

[rogueddie]

It takes Steve an embarassingly long moment to realise that the spray isn't doing anything. He tries shaking it… nothing. He even checks by spraying it on his hand, shaking it again. Nothing.

He tries listening as he shakes it again and, though he's sure there's some product still left inside, nothing will come out.

He reluctantly throws it in the little trash can, just next to the toilet door. He doesn't bother rooting through the draws or cabinets either; he'd used the last of his emergency powder kit yesterday. There's nothing left.

He huffs, folding his arms, glaring at his reflection. Specifically at the very overgrown, bright blond roots of his hair.

It brings up the same anxiety he's been having for the past month. It's taken him a long time to save up for his usual hairdressers. He hadn't thought it would take so long but, with the kids and now Robin and Eddie, it shouldn't be that surprising.

Robin often pays a good chunk for things too, often paying him gas money, but it's usually him paying for everything. And now that he's paying rent in his own little appartment? He's not often left with that much at the end of the month.

He's starting to think it's not worth the trip. But he isn't going to start using box dye or anything cheap. He's spent a long time taking care of his hair, spent just as long struggling to find the right products too.

He doesn't even care that the kids and Robin mock him for it, he has great hair and, screw it, he's proud. He's not going to damage it by getting bad hair dye.

He's already booked his next hairdresser appointment for the next day, already saved up gas money too. He might as well ask for bleach instead, go back to his natural color and save himself from anymore days with overgrown roots.

He almost regrets the idea when he gets to work.

"Holy shit, you're a natural blond?" Robins grin looks almost painful with how wide it is. She's a little too excited for his comfort. "I don't know how I didn't guess before. This explains so much. How have you kept this hidden for so long? It's so light!"

"Don't you have work to do?" He bats her hand away when she, again, reaches for his hair.

"Not anymore. Why do you dye it? How did it grow out so much? When did you start hiding it? Did someone pressure you into it? They didn't make fun of you, did they? Because I will hunt them down and-"

"No one made me dye it or bullied me into it," he huffs. He can feel his attempt at a cool demeaner soften with how quickly she jumps to his defense. "I just... I never liked it. I don't think it suits me. Brunettes are cute."

"Are you dyeing it again?"

"Probably not. The hairdresser I go to isn't exactly cheap."

"You can get box dye at-"

"I'm not using box dye."

"It's not that bad, and if you really hate the blond-"

Steve swats at her when she reaches for his hair again. With a heavy sigh, he braces himself for the shift full of questions and jokes of 'betrayal'.

Like he suspected, they don't get much work done.

When Eddie comes in, towards the end of their shift, Steve is almost relieved.

"Stop bullying him without me," Eddie complains.

"Thank you," Steve says, whilst Robin boos. "What is it tonight? Movie night with Wayne or some of the kids?"

But Eddie is frozen, staring at his hair.

"I think he's broken," Robin says after a pause.

"You're blond?" Eddie blinks. "When did you go blond?"

"Always have been," Steve shrugs. "Just... not dyeing it anymore."

"Oh."

Steve and Robin stare at him. They share a glance after a moment.

"You here for a movie?" Steve asks.

"What? Me? No, I- just stopping by. And you're... yeah. I'm gonna- I've got to go. Wayne is waiting and... you know. Bye."

He turns around and practically runs out the store. His wheels squeal a little as he drives out, most likely breaking the speed limit.

"Did he just..." Robin starts, trailing off with a frown.

"Unbelievable," Steve shakes his head. "Just when I give up, he realizes that he likes me too! What the hell, Bob. Is he only into blonds or something?"

[shelbgrey]

✨Pookie😏✨Mother Pinecone🥳✨Fellow Simp🤩✨ can I request some lovely shrexy headcanons for the one and only Sammy Winchester😳 I just need some fluff and steamy steamy spicy headcanons please🥹 I’ll pay😉🫴💰💳💵

Dating Sam Winchester Headcanons:

Paring: Sam Winchester X Singer!Reader

Summary: headcanons about Sam dating Bobby Singer's kid. -SMUT warning!

💚MasterList ML2 💚MoodBoard

Between Sam being John's kid and you being Bobby's, you spent a lot of time together as kids.

You were always closer to Sam, you and him bonded over books and you were both the quiet ones.

It was obvious there was something between you two even when you were kids, but you were both completely clueless.

“the only two people who don't know Sam and y/n like each other are Sam and y/n” - Dean

But then he went off to college, you guys talked through letters and Emails for the first few months. Then he met Jes and you guys talked less and less.

Deep down Sam knew he dated Jess just to get over you, but then he felt awful to think that way after she died.

He never would have expected that you'd show up with Dean, telling him John was missing. Sam honestly hated to see the skilled hunter you have become, he always thought you deserved better.

Deep down he knew he stayed for you. College didn't matter much to him anymore and neither did finding his dad. He rekindled his friendship with you and wanted to protect you.

Hell, he would take you away from the hunting life if he could.

Before you knew it the three of you were a trio again. Saving people and hunting things together.

Then before you knew it you and Sam both fell back in to your original, clueless act you had with each other. It pissed Dean off, because he knew you guys liked each other.

Dean also knew neither one of you had the balls to admit your feelings. So he took matters into his own hands.

“Hey, y/n, you busy Saturday night?” Dean asked one night. “no?”

“Sammy, you sure as hell ain't busy” Dean joked, Sam rolled his eyes and sighed. “yeah... I'm not”

“good, because I am... You two go out and have a good time” Dean told you both.

Yeah Dean asked you out on a date for Sam. Both of you had mixed reactions, you didn't know how to proses what what just happened and Sam was just annoyed Dean was getting up in his business. Dean didn't stop you guys from going out.

he is sweet and gentle when he kisses you. The kisses you and him share are always sweet and full of passion. He pours everything into his kisses when his lips are on yours.

He definitely said 'I love you.' he said it after he had to save you from a vampires nest he told you he couldn't lose you and he loves you.

Sam would be the one to encourage you to go on rants or nerd out about things your passionate about. He'll listen beginning to end. If your like: “sorry if I'm talking too much” Sam will say: “no, no, keep going. I'm listening”

Not being stuck in his Tuesday time loop, but helping the best you can.

Sam's Hugs are warm and tight. Since he's so much taller than you he usually picks you up and holds you to his chest as your legs are wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck holding him tight.

he promised to himself and you that if you were to get hurt by anything and he did mean anything at all, he would kill it. Even the smallest cut or bruse on you, he would freak out and with a gun in his hand, he would go after the very thing that dared to put a wound on you.

Sex with him has always been on the Adventurous side, but he learns your limits quickly and wouldn't do anything to hurt you. But when soulless Sam shows up there's no slowing down.

Even though Soulless Sam is hot one of the things he cares about most is sex and it might seem that's all he wants at the time, but the moment you get hurt the person or thing that hurt you is in a heaping pile of blood and broken bones.

Research dates all the time, you think it's boring as hell but your happy just to he able to spend time with him.

He's a health nut so he's always getting on to you and dean about your eating habits. “you know those things could kill you, right?” Sam asks as he watches you drink a monster energy drink, you'll just shrug him off.

You appreciate his concerns and you do back off on some stuff and let him cook you a healthy meal.

“what is that?” you asked staring at the blender in Discussed. “it's a smoothy, its good for you” he said pouring you a cup. “it's green goop”

✨Forehead kisses✨ he's a giant after all, so it's easier and convenient to just give you a little kiss on the forehead. He also loves it when your setting in his lap and giving him the same treatment.

Matching bracelets. Jack went through a friendship bracelet making phase and you made a couple with him. You and Sam both have one, he refuses to take it off. “you don't have to wear it”

“no, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off”

You and Sam are literally Jack's parents, you probably end up adopting him at some point.

Never giving up on getting him out of hell, you hated the fact Dean when to live with Lisa. So while he got a girlfriend you were threatening crossroad demons for awnsers.

Making dirty jokes with Dean all the time to annoy Sam.

If Dean pranks Sam, you'll help get back at Dean. One time you convinced Sam to have sex in the impala just to piss Dean off.

Lucifer has the undying love for you and hits on you all the time, it pisses Sam off to no end.

Getting to see Sully first hand because he knew how much Sam ment to you and Sully just really wanted to meet the person that made Sam so happy.

Jody being a mother to you.

He absolutely loves feeling your fingers run through his hair. He'll kill to have his head on your cheat while you play with his hair after a rough hunt.

If your a smut book you get really secretive about and he'll notice quickly. “What you reading?” you blush and hold the book away from him. “nothing”

If he gets a hold of the book and reads a steamy part if the book, he'll probably want to try what he read too.

This man need physical contact a lot. He's a big cuddler and just needs you in his arms, it's a comfort and a protection thing.

He wants to hold your hand all the time too, if your walking around the bunker or a town your hands will be locked together, or sometimes hell just hold your had while doing research.

Communication won't be a problem in your relationship. You both just find it so easy to talk to each other.

But if you get into a fight, your fight loud and mean. There will be the silent treatment.

He's a bed hog so get used to sleeping right on top of him or right up against him because there's no room for personal space when you share a bed, especially if it's a motel bed.

He also hogs blankets.

You have bad sex in the bunker library, do with that information as you will.

You steal his flannels all the time, they're just so big and comfy.

He's good at turning you on😏

NSFW headcanons:

Sammy has a size kink, he loves the fact you are shorter than him. It makes it easier for him to manhandle you and throw you around without even trying.

likes to pretty much fuck you stupid. like to the point your shaking, you only can think of his dick and babbling his name. you probably won't be walking the next morning.

he's ✨skilled✨ with his hands, those big massive hands. it doesn't matter what he's doing with them, in between your legs, your face, around your neck, in your hair, I don't matter he knows what he's doing.

Hair pulling, he loves feeling your fingers in his hair or he'll tangel his fingers in yours and tug on it when he's getting head or about ready to cum.

He didn't realize how much he actually liked it untill you started pulling on his hair while he was eating you out. “Damn... Do that again... Please”

Biting, he's loves marking you up. There has been many times you had to cover your neck with makeup, but most of the bite marks are on your thighs.

But he also lives for the moments where it's just sensual and gentle. He secretly loves just holding you and kissing you slowly.

He wants to see if he can he make you scream louder than he did the last time. He loves the noises you make.

He well bend you over the table in the bunker library and take you from behind.

The desk will creak from the force he uses and his large body will presse you hard against the desk.

He loves hearing the moans and gasps coming out of your mouth.

Part of him will want you to be louder, even though he knew you aren't supposed to be sometimes.

He'll mark your thighs with his teeth and biting hard enough to leave a light bruise.

Sam loves being dominate towards you. Choking you and edging you. “come on, Baby. Cum for me again”

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

He has a tendency to grip the headboard when he's close to cumming.

“that’s it baby, there you go. takining me so well, honey.”

Sam loves the way his hands look on your body. Even better if you’re smaller than him, he just wants to be touching you all the fucking time.

He love getting head. I feel like he’d like having you on your knees. Plus, feeling your lips around him pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth.

If you’re struggling to take him in or taking long to adjust, he’ll whisper reassurances that you’re doing a good job while rubbing his hands on your back and thighs.

Sam first thought after sex he's always checking on you, making sure it felt good and your not sore. He is very gentle, cleaning you up and giving you anything you need before even thinking of himself.

[fufuheheii]

Cyno’s Ultimate Guide to Wooing You (tips from Tighnari)

Edit: Cyno x female!reader

You and Cyno have been friends for a very long time.

That’s why the boy never expected that he would develop feelings out of nowhere, especially not right when you smash an  Ajilenakh nut with his pole arm in anger.

He could have sworn his heart went doki doki along with the broken nut.

“You have got to be kidding me,” was all Tighnari could say when Cyno approached him on the very same day with the biggest blush ever.

“She was glowing Tighnari,” Cyno furrowed his eyebrows as he looked off into the distance. “The Love Archon have placed a curse on me-“ “there is no love archon you lummox.”

After a long ass debate and Cyno listing down pros and cons of liking you, the fennec boy decided this topic went on long enough and decided to just throw some suggestions.

“Why not just ask her out on a date? Woo her with something. If I recall, Y/N said she liked charcoal cake.”

And that’s how The Guide to Wooing You (Ft. Tighnari) book was created.

First Operation: date

Now, you and Cyno have been friends for a very long time, meaning you’ve done much activities together.

When Cyno asked you out, you took it as an average hangout and the day turned into a whole TCG war. 

Cyno has no idea how you guys ended up in Port Ormos, both of your decks out with his strongest cards in his hand. People surround you two, all in awe at the amazing strategic display in front of them. No, to say he is confused is an understatement.

“Wait Y/N-“ “No I’m not falling for that again Cyno.” “No, we weren't supposed to be playing.” “Wow I can’t believe you just threw that card out, how am I supposed to win that?” “Wait that was unintentional-“

He never got to confess. But at least he won the game.

Second Operation: food

On the day he was free he barged into the Sumeru tavern, causing a few scholar to run out screaming as he approached the counter with menacing aura. 

“One charcoal cake. Do you have a pink ribbon? Wrap it with a pink ribbon. Maybe add a heart on the cake if possible. Write the name ‘Y/N’ on it. I expect no word comes out about me here.”

When you see it, you roar with laughter. “Bruh, this is the funniest thing you pulled so far!”

Tighnari gets no sleep that night as Cyno comes into his room and murmurs by himself in the corner, confused as to what exactly is he doing wrong.

Third Operation: physical contact

Cyno wipes his hand on his shorts for the 15th time as he awaits for you at Gandarvha Ville. Today was the day of his next operation: hand holding.

Cyno wasn’t the type to force any physical contact, unless it’s to punish all evil wrongdoing. But today he was going to go the opposite way. 

He will brush his hand against yours, and if you don’t move away he will then proceed to look into your eyes as a sign of love affirmation. You will be struck by his determination and then he will move to intertwine his fingers with yours. And then he will confess. 

“Hey Cyno! You’re here early,” you appear in your goddess glory, your smile so dazzling the Mahamatra has to block it out with his hand. 

“What a sight to behold.” “Did you say something?”

When you two walked together, people were clearing the path. You figured it was because of Cyno’s title, but in reality it was because of his red shot eyes that was glaring at your hand. 

Above you both is Tighnari using his binoculars to watch you both. He mutters curses specially at the Matra, and Cyno could’ve sworn he felt chills go down his spine for no reason. 

Do it now you imbecile! Touch her hand! What in the archons are you doing? 

Cyno’s heart was thumping so fast he thought you could hear it. He swallowed as he stared at your hand, the delicate fingers that was tempting him to lic-hold it. 

“Cyno?” He snapped his attention to your worried face. He inhaled when you step so close to him that your faces were mere inches away. 

Tighnari gasped. Are you guys kissing? Why the hell are you guys kissing first?

“Are you okay? You look really stressed,” Your eyebrows furrow together, your cheeks pouting out so slightly. 

Your magnificent breath tickled his face, your doe eyes peering into his wide dilated ones. He could smell the faint chicken wings you ate earlier on your body. He could see your collar bones just saying hello to him. Your hair tickle his face as well as his bangs to yours. He looks back up to your eyes and he finally utters his response.

“Stressed? More like I’m a damsel in distress.”

Tighnari to this day doesn’t know how that was a joke to Cyno.

Operation four: Just confess

“Now we all know you have this natural instinct of throwing in a stupid joke out of nowhere,” Tighnari covers Cyno’s mouth before he could retort. “Now imagine I am Y/N. Show me how you’re going to confess to me.”

“No what the f-” “Do you really want to ruin the biggest operation with another joke?” “…”

Cyno sighs and the two boys sit facing each other. Tighnari crosses his arms and mimics your voice in a ridiculously high tone, “Hey Cyno! What’s up?” 

“Hey Y/N, um…there’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you,” Cyno inhales, trying to pretend the boy in front of him was his favorite girl. He smiles when his decent looking friend’s face morphs into your beautiful features. “We’ve been friends for so long and I know it’s definitely hard to believe but…I really like you. To me, you’re the most beautiful star in the desert night, the star that guides me to my destination. Will you be mine?”

“Wow Cyno I’m so happy!” Tighnari sings happily with a horrifying giggle. “See, that wasn’t so bad-”

 A big thud silences them all.

The two boys slowly look to the side in horror as both you and Collei stand at the doorway stunned. Collie’s basket is on the floor, and an apple rolls to Cynos’ foot. 

“I always knew master and Cyno had something!” Collei runs out the door, covering her face in glee as her OTP has finally come true.

Cyno’s face pales as you blink at him and then at Tighnari and then back to him. Then you turn away quickly before they can hear you snort with laughter. 

General Mahamatra and General Watchleader weren’t seen for a few days, but there were rumors circulating that the WatchLeader was trying to kill the Mahamatra. 

Final operation: Cyno

“Just be yourself Cyno,” Tigh’s words repeat in the boy’s mind. “What do you think will get your feelings across as Cyno? Think about it, and then face Y/N when you’re ready.”

Truth to be told, Cyno has never been open about his own feelings to anyone before. Sure, he told his best (and only) friend that he likes you, sure he beat up sinners to express his irritation of them forcing him out into the desert for three days just to bring them back, but it’s different with you. 

He enjoyed all the times he’s had with you, all the moments where you and him argued about who won, the moments where you fed him food when he was loaded with work, the moments when you smiled at him when he would come to see you...he treasured every single second.

He was scared that if you did not return his feelings, your friendship would be broken. You meant that much to him.

But he knew if this one-sided feeling went on much longer he will go crazy and full of hope. He can decide how to proceed with his feelings once he gets an answer from you.

You finally appear. You look around the rather grassy area, before looking up at the night sky full of stars.

Cyno watches with adoration as your eyes light up at the sky. It must be the same look he has when he’s with you. 

He silently approaches you with a familiar book in his hand, and you finally see him.

He hands you the book and you blink at it curiously before you open the book and read the contents.

He slowly smiles as a blush spread across your cheeks as you read over each operation listed down and the attempts the poor boy made to gain your affection.

“How did I miss all this?” You whisper, bringing the back of your hand to your face as your ears burn. “Cyno I...”

He places a hand on your arm and comes forward. His eyes are so full of desperation you can already hear what’s he going to say. 

“I’m not supposed to be…having these feelings as a Matra. It’ll only get in the way, but...I do have feelings for you Y/N. I enjoy my time with you, I enjoy eating with you. I enjoy fighting with you. I like you. I am in love with you. Will you be the padisarah to my Duel Soul recipe?”

A few days later rumors go around that the General Mahamatra has been stalking a certain girl and the girl is a criminal waiting to be caught in the act. 

It’s only a few days later (again) that there is confirmation that the girl is actually the General Mahamatra’s beloved girlfriend.

Omg this was so bad but so funny at the same time aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Sorry if this seemed so rushed, but it came to me in the middle of the night, and I had to write it all down! Hope you guys enjoyed it! :,)

Edit: whoa thanks for the love guys! Can’t believe this got so much attention, I’m happy I managed to give some laughs!

[cxrdycxps]

Work Song • Joel Miller

No grave can hold me down, I’ll crawl home to her.

☢️ Canon typical violence • smut, unprotected p in v • angst • soft Joel (it needs a warning) • what might be classed as Tommy and Maria bashing • AFAB Reader ☢️

Main Masterlist • Joel Miller Masterlist

Stop. Breathe. Think.

There had to be a way out. There had to be something he hadn’t thought of. Muffled noise was hard to focus on when his heartbeat was louder. He could feel the pulsing pain in his side, his ribs were broken. His guns and his backpack were gone.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

Eugene shared a glance with Shane as they approached the gates of Jackson. There would be word spreading soon. Only two riders returned.

They hesitated in the tree line, waited with bated breath. Once they passed this line they would have to explain. Would have to find a way to break the news.

“We don’t know there’s anything wrong. He might have beaten us back here.” Shane told Eugene. Eugene nodded slightly but they both knew they were kidding themselves.

Joel would never leave a man behind. He would wait all night at an outpost and definitely wouldn’t head back to Jackson without a husband and a father.

“He wouldn’t have wanted us to wait. We know the rules.” Eugene sighed and Shane nodded shortly before he nudged his horse out of the tree line.

“Riders!” The tower patrol called and the gates were opened slowly as Eugene and Shane approached.

Jesse paused at the sight of only two returning patrol men and stared at them as they passed. Both men rode in with their heads down, avoiding the stare of everyone.

Maria stood at the stable talking patrol routes with a group of men due to head out for a long patrol in the next week.

She looked up when the surrounding area fell quiet and put a hand out to steady herself against the sudden dropping of her stomach when Eugene and Shane approached on horseback.

Without Joel.

“Where is he?”

Stop. Breathe. Think.

Joel clenched his jaw and tensed his whole body, readying himself for the impact. There was a burst of pain, bright light behind his eyes. But he didn’t make a noise.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

“Why do I need to know this?” Ellie sighed, her head leaning on her hand. You looked up from the pot you were stirring and found her chewing on the end of her pencil.

“Because a basic knowledge of biology will help in life. Do you know how many people probably wished they hadn’t slept through their bio classes in high school?” You asked her and she sighed heavily, letting her head fall on her notebook.

You only rolled your eyes as you pulled plates down out of the cabinet, eyes on the clock over the window. Joel would be home soon hopefully.

“Set the table?” You asked Ellie and she scrambled to comply, shoving her books into her book bag in an effort to get out of doing her homework in any way possible. “When Joel gets back he’ll help you finish up.”

She laughed and shook her head as she set out the cutlery how Joel had thought her. He still clung to the strangest of Southern traditions. One of the most obvious was his table manners which he was trying in vain to pass on to Ellie.

“Cause he’s gonna know it. Joel’s a high school drop out.” Ellie reminded you and you laughed.

“Joel dropped out of high school to be a dad. Not because he wasn’t smart.” You reminded her while you ruffled her hair when she got close enough, you laughed again when she grumbled about it.

“What’s your excuse?” She huffed, setting three glasses down and filling two with water, a finger of whiskey in the third.

“Gee Els, I don’t know? The end of the world, maybe.” You laughed with her and covered the simmering pot. “Go check the stables and see will they be much longer.”

You all preferred to eat dinner together most evenings. Sometimes home cooked, sometimes at the diner. But eating together was something you had always done with your family and you liked that they did their best to uphold that for you.

Ellie huffed and moved to pull on her converse, sitting on the bench by the front door. A bench Joel built specifically so she would sit down to put her shoes on instead of hopping around and knocking her head on the wall.

A knock sounded at the door just as she had tied the laces on her shoes and you leaned from your place at the sink to look down as she answered the door. Tommy appeared, his hat pressed against his chest and his mouth down turned.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

Joel was alone in the room. Maybe not a room but a shed or barn. There was a lot of creaking going on. The ground underneath him felt like bare concrete but he thought he could hear the rustle of hay when he moved.

Panic was biting at him as he took stock of his injuries. He had been left in a stress position which was murder on his already bad knees. His ribs were on fire, each breath like a brand to his lungs.

His hands were bound to something above his head. Something sturdy enough to hold his weight but it groaned when he pulled. A pipe maybe.

His stomach growled again and he sighed. It had only been a few hours. Regular eating in Jackson had stolen his edge and now he found himself hungry and tired.

He took a deep breath, ignoring the protest from his ribs and pulled, putting all his weight on whatever he was bound to. There was harsh groaning and then a screech.

And then he dropped, no longer suspended.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

You stared at Tommy as he stepped into the hallway past a frozen Ellie. You knew that look. You had seen him do it only once, having to tell Denise that her husband had passed away in the clinic.

A heart attack. That’s what they thought happened. You wondered if this is what it felt like. The pressure building in your chest, your breath catching, frozen stock still.

“He isn’t.” Ellie breathed, moving from the doorway to you. She wasn’t looking at Tommy, hand reached out for you. “It’s Joel. He isn’t. He can’t be.”

“He missed the meet point.” Tommy said with a wince and your eyes narrowed as part of you relaxed just slightly.

“It was a three man patrol.” You pulled Ellie closer by the hand she had reached for you with. You needed to keep her close, keep her safe. “There isn’t a meet point on a three man patrol.”

“Eugene and Jason-“

“You mean to tell me that my husband is missing because those two fucking stoners had to check their grow house?” You asked Tommy, voice low. “Because you know Joel wouldn’t fucking suggest splitting up. You fucking know that!”

“Now look, I’m just the messenger.” Tommy started and you clenched your jaw. “I’m just as mad as you about it and Maria-“

“Oh for fuck sake Tommy. When are you gonna grow a fucking pair and stop hiding in the shadows?” You snapped, a hand running through your hair. “Fucking letting Joel take the fall half your life and now Maria? You ever gonna stand on your own two feet?”

“Now hold on a second-“

“No, you hold on. You heard that those two fucking clowns didn’t wait for Joel and you left them standing? Joel might be dead so that Eugene could check on his fucking weed.” You tell Tommy as he stepped closer in anger. You met him half way, a finger pointed into his chest. “You better fucking hope he’s okay or I’ll make what both of you used to do look like child’s play.”

Stop. Breathe. Think.

Joel paused in place to see if the sound had alerted any one. His hands are still bound and the circulation returning to his legs caused a rush of pins and needles so strong he dropped to his knees.

He needs to get out. He needs to get home. Home to you and Ellie.

There’s no noise that Joel can detect when he raises his bound hands to push the blindfold off his face. The darkness blinds him a second time, his eyes slowly adjusting to his surroundings.

It’s a barn. Wide and barren, hasn’t been used in decades from the looks of things. There’s not much in way of weapons but there is a rusty scythe hanging on the wall. It looks dull but after a few minutes Joel gets his bindings cut and his hands free.

The pipe he had been detained to comes free with a yank and he swings it, testing the weight. It’s not much but it’ll do if he keeps the element of surprise on his side.

A quick turn over of the barn shows nothing else of importance and so he heads for the hayloft, trying to see if he can get a glance of his surroundings.

His arms ache as he climbs and his ribs are still on fire but he pulls himself up, rung by rung, until he’s able to drag himself to the top. He tried not to breathe heavily, leaning on his hands and knees so as not to hurt his ribs further.

There’s an old dilapidated farm house a couple hundred meters from the barn. There’s smoke coming from the chimney though which means whoever stole his pack is probably in there. He grips the metal pipe tighter in his hand and breathes slowly.

Just one more push. It’s always just one more push.

Joel heads for the ladder and finds climbing down is harder on his ribs than climbing up. He attempts to hurry it which results in him losing his footing and falling a couple of rungs, hitting the ground hard with a sickening crunch. Joel fights the urge to vomit, white hot pain bursting through his body.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

“Now I don’t think this is gonna help-“ Tommy yelled after you as you headed for the Tipsy Bison. Sure as anything you’d find Eugene and Shane at the bar.

For their sake they’d better have changed up their routine.

Ellie followed along side you, her face closed off, her eyes burning with anger. You still held the hand she had outstretched to you in the house. Both of you gripping tightly.

You swung the diner door open and traced your eyes across the occupants and sure as the sky was blue you found Eugene and Shane in the corner of the bar.

You ignored Tommy calling your name and finally released Ellie’s hand, making a beeline for both men who had their heads hung over their drinks. When Tommy called your name they looked up and Eugene stood from his stool.

In his defense he did look sorry. Until your hand cracked against his face. Then he just looked shocked. “You better fucking hope he gets home.”

“We waited for him.” Eugene tried to explain but you only shook your head at him, pointing a finger over his shoulder at Shane.

“You’re just fucking lucky he’s in my way.” You warned, sending Ellie pressing close behind you. “Where did you split up?”

“It was west of here, about three quarters the way through the route. Just after the last post.” Eugene explained and your hand cracked out again. He caught your wrist this time, squeezing roughly. “I let you away with one.”

“You split up with him so you could check your fucking grow house?” You spit at him, attempting to pull your wrist free. “You’re that fucking desperate you couldn’t wait another day till the group patrol headed out?”

“He was fine with it.” Shane attempted to argue. Almost silently Ellie slipped an arm in front of you, the tip of her knife pressed against Eugene’s zipper.

“Let her go or lose your fucking dick.” Ellie warned, voice cold. “And from what I can tell that’s your entire personality.”

Eugene released your wrist which you cradled to your chest, your free hand on Ellie’s shoulder. “Cmon Els, while we still have daylight.”

Stop. Breathe. Think.

Joel grunted, his arm cradled to his chest. His right arm. All he had was a metal pipe and he didn’t even have both hands to swing it.

His ribs, if possible, hurt worse. Every slight inhalation had him fighting back screams. The pain in his wrist made him want to vomit and he wondered what the fuck he was gonna do.

He didn’t have much time. He knew that. They would be back to check on him again in no time and he had to have a plan or he wouldn’t be going anywhere.

Voices.

He froze in place, the panic overwhelming him, they were coming from the farm house. Coming for him. He was going to die in this stupid barn if he didn’t think quickly.

The closer the voices drew the worse the panic gripped him. He stepped back into the shadows, his ragged breathing lighting his ribs on fire.

The door opened, the dark sky on his side as two men stepped into the room. They were too busy talking, a lantern held in one of their hands, too low to notice Joel wasn’t where he was supposed to be.

He swung out between the men, enough strength that the first dropped like a rag doll whose stings had been cut. The second had enough time to dodge, taking a bang to the ribs which made him hiss.

Joel swung again at him but he ducked, his hand freeing the gun on his hip. Joel dove at him, panic pumping adrenaline through his blood.

All he could hear was his breathing and the rhythmic pump of his blood.

He swung the pipe, slamming it down on the head of the man and watching his skull collapse with the force.

Joel didn’t hear the shot. He didn’t even feel the bullet make impact. What he did feel was the warmth of the blood on his trousers. The fabric sticking to his skin uncomfortably and then the burst of pain when he stepped forward, his leg buckling out from underneath him.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

“Pack both first aid kits and a vial of penicillin. Enough food for three days and bring me your gun.” Ellie’s feet pounded on the stairs as she climbed them swiftly. You weren’t far behind her, pulling your rifle from under the stairs and setting it on the table.

You checked it over, knowing it was fine as Joel had cleaned it the night before for you when he was doing his own. You grabbed a box of ammo and left it beside your gun. Ellie appeared by your side, setting her own pistol down before taking off again.

You went through the same checks, loading it for her and leaving her a box of ammo to pack for the journey too.

You left them both there and hurried up the stairs pulling your backpack out of the closet and filling it quickly with anything you thought you might need.

A quiet call of your name made you pause, inhaling deeply. You knew why she was here. What she would say but you wouldn’t be deterred. Not when he could be in danger.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

Through and through. The bullet had come out as it had gone in and Joel thanked god for small mercies. His whole body was on fire, the bullet wound in his thigh, his broken ribs and his shattered wrist were all throbbing in tandem.

He had a pistol now and a knife. It wasn’t much but it was something. He staggered his way to the farm house and took a minute to walk the outside of the house, ensuring he couldn’t hear anyone else.

His backpack was just inside the door but his rifle was nowhere to be seen. The farm house was just as dilapidated inside as it looked from the outside. It seemed everything had been lost to the elements besides the living room.

Joel stepped towards the fire, dragging his bad leg behind him. He could hear heavy breathing and wondered if it was his own before someone groaned and shifted on the sofa facing the fire.

Joel lifted the gun in his hand, his left arm shaking. He stepped slowly towards the sofa. The man sleeping only had time to open his eyes before Joel cracked the but of the gun down on his head.

When the man came through Joel had managed to tie him to a chair and was reasonably certain he wouldn’t get out of it. He had taken the time to wrap his leg with the first aid kit from his backpack.

A quick raid of the house offered Joel what he thought might have been painkillers. Three white pills in a bottle. He took his chances and swallowed one down with a shot of whiskey from another of the men’s backpacks. No water to be found.

A small groan alerted him that his new friend was waking up just as Joel managed to splint his wrist and construct a sling for support.

They stared at each other for a second and Joel waited patiently, dropping onto the sofa with a grunt of pain.

“Where’s the others?” His voice was quiet, timid.

“Which one are you?” Joel asked in return, looking him over as he struggled against the bindings.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Well, you’re either Billy or Tyson. Cause I know which one Mark is.” Joel told him and he winced. In truth Joel knew this was Tyson, he just wanted to leave the man with hope he hadn’t found Billyyet.

“We didn’t mean any harm, man.” Tyson muttered and Joel narrowed his eyes, tilting his head. “We just needed the supplies.

“So you beat the fuck out of me because it what? Felt nice for me? Toughened me up a little?” Joel asked, leaning forward and ignoring how his body protested. “Here’s what I’m gonna do Ty, can I call you Ty?”

“No-“

“I’m gonna ask a couple of questions and you’re going to answer them. It’s pretty easy, Ty. I got people I gotta get back to, you know?” Joel asked. Tyson spat at his feet.

Joel shot forward, ignoring the pain and stuck his knife into Tyson’s thigh, right where his own wound was.

Tyson screamed as Joel pulled the knife free, wiping it on his jeans and taking his seat again while the man yelled and bucked against the chair.

“Now. Let’s start again. How many of you are there, Tyson?”

“Four.” Joel’s goddamn bum ear let him down again. A gun loaded behind him. His rifle, he could hear it now he was actively listening. “Something you should’ve checked before you killed two of our brothers.”

Joel sighed heavily and inhaled. He stared at Tyson, counting the seconds. Tyson was sobbing now, either from the physical pain or the emotional pain. Joel didn’t know and didn’t care.

The rifle pressed against his neck and he swallowed again.

“Ben, I take it?” Joel asked, reaching up over his shoulder quickly and pulling the rifle forward. Ben jerked the trigger by accident and Joel yelled at the noise in his ear but he didn’t give up, pulling sharply again and knocking Ben off course.

Joel only has time to duck, his rifle in his arm before he scrambled from the couch and swung the rifle strap over his shoulder. He made sure to keep the sofa between then as he grabbed the gun in his waist band.

When he looked up Ben was frozen, staring over Joel’s shoulder. Joel chanced a quick look back and watched Tyson as he gasped for breath, the blood on his chest spreading, soaking through his t-shirt.

Ben had shot Tyson.

Joel didn’t hesitate, he lifted the gun and shot once at Ben and a second time at Tyson. Putting them both out of their misery.

He collapsed back onto the sofa, ears ringing and body burning. When the adrenaline fled his system he was shaking. One small touch against his leg let him know he needed to start worrying about blood loss.

Stop. Breathe. Think.

With his face tucked in your neck he couldn’t see your expression but he didn’t need to. He knew how you’d look, jaw hanging down, eyes rolled back in your head as you moaned quietly in his ear.

He continued the slow grind of his hips, pushing deeper with every slide of his body against yours. He made sure that each press abused your already swollen clit. He could still taste you on his lips, smell you on his beard.

He groaned again, sponging kisses to your neck before exposing his teeth to nibble against your skin. “Feel so fucking good.”

Your fingers were tangled in his hair, clenching tighter with every minute that passed. You were boneless, two orgasms deep and a third building slowly. “All yours.”

“Damn fucking right.” He groaned, hot breath against your neck causing you to shiver. “My pretty baby and her sweet fucking cunt.”

“Joel.” You whimpered, nails scratching against his scalp. “Make me come.”

“You’re in charge.” Joel groaned, pulling back so he could slam into you in earnest. “Anything for you.”

“Anything?” You ask, moaning loudly.

“You want it, I’ll make sure you get it, baby.” Joel told you through gritted teeth as he pushed into your tight, wet heat again and again.

“What if I asked you to burn Jackson down?” You asked teasingly and he rolled his eyes, bring his hand up to your mouth, presenting you with two fingers.

“If it was something you needed then baby, I’d burn the fucking world down. I’d kill every person in my fucking way to getting you want you need.” He told you earnestly as you sucked on his fingers.

He pulled them from your mouth and brought them down to rub against your clit, rendering you speechless as your orgasm hit you.

A few minutes later you lay across his chest as you both attempted to catch your breath. Joel’s fingers traced patterns up and down the line of your spine. You were tracing the same patterns into his chest hair.

“Burn the world, huh? Sounds dangerous.” You teased. Joel smiled, huffing a small laugh that made you bounce against his chest. “What if you get hurt doing it? What if you die? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Baby, if you think there’s a grave that could keep me from you then you’re crazy. I’ll always come home, crawlin’ on my hands and knees if I’ve gotta.”

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Joel can’t move. His whole body is one big starburst of pain. He knows he needs to get moving, knows that he doesn’t have long. There could be more of the group and they could be back any second.

But he can’t move.

His head is spinning and he knows he lost too much blood. The spinning is compounded by the fact that breathing is a nightmare. He doesn’t know where he is or how to get back to Jackson.

He rolls off the sofa, landing on his knees which jolts just about every injury he has. He barely catches himself on his good hand and vomits up every thing in his system from the pain.

He uses the sofa for leverage to push himself up off his knees. He staggers slightly, catching himself in enough time that he doesn’t careen into Tyson’s body, still tied to the chair.

He grunts as he moves, his leg dragging behind him. Each step is torture, a life time of bad karma catching up with him.

He checks over Ben but doesn’t find anything besides another knife. He leaves it where it is and hobbles out the door Ben left open behind him.

Joel doesn’t expect much but the sight of his horse is enough to almost bring a tear to his eye. No crawling needed this time.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

“What do you mean you aren’t sending a search party?” You ask Maria. She stands at your kitchen table and refuses to meet your eyes. She had sat at this very table just last week for your birthday dinner. She had laughed and joked with your husband while he held her little girl in his arms.

“We aren’t ready. A route needs to be planned, quadrants divided among patrol men. Marching out without a plan will lose men.” She warned, slipping into her role as a council member, not a sister in law.

“Do you think he’d hesitate? Do you think he’d wait for routes and quadrants if it were anyone else out there? He wouldn’t have even come back without Eugene or Shane. Those cowards-“

“Followed the rules. Something Joel has never done. He flaunts it in our faces time after time and I’m not going to let everyone else get hurt just because he wouldn’t care if the shoe was on the other foot.” Maria interrupts and you stare at her, jaw dropped. Ellie mutters a curse from beside you and you reach out for her. “Joel will be able to survive on his own until we get a group together. Lord knows that anyone that takes him on is in more danger than he is.”

The chill in her voice makes you hold the rebuttal you had. Your mouth closes as you catch the silent distaste from her and your hand moves to Ellie’s back.

“Wait on the porch, Ellie.” You speak evenly and even short tempered Ellie can hear the rage boiling over your words. She looks up at you and over to Maria, her fingers reaching for your sleeve. “Just a few minutes. I promise.”

“My husband is missing. He’s god knows where with god knows who. Neither Eugene or Shane backtracked or attempted to see if he’d been injured. I don’t know if he’s fallen off his horse, if he’s been bitten and is currently trying to decide wether or not to blow his brains out or if raiders have him and are beating him to death because he’d rather die than betray Jackson.” You tell Maria once Ellie has cleared the room. “He has fought with everything he has for over twenty years and if you want to say something about that, well now’s your chance.”

“I’m just saying that maybe, if there’s karma out there, that-“ Joel’s glass smashes, the whiskey splashing you both when you sweep it off the table, leaning towards Maria.

“Your husband done everything that mine did. So if it’s karma that’s hurt Joel out there then you’d wanna wrap Tommy up tight.” You warn her and she bristles, her jaw clenched.

“You know damn well that Tommy-“

“Was a grown man? With two hands? He pressed every trigger, he planned every attack. Just like Joel. So that they could survive. So that they could be alive to love us. Joel never pointed a gun at Tommy of that I can be absolutely fucking sure.” You told Maria, cutting her off. “Tommy was in the fucking army before it all happened. You think he sat twiddling his thumbs there?”

“There’s a team heading out in the morning. You won’t be given a horse before then. Sundown is in an hour. You won’t make it. I won’t condone it. You need to think of Ellie.” Maria left without further comment.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Joel didn’t know pain like this existed. Every movement of the horse jolted each of his injuries. He had tried everything, every speed to see which hurt the least and there was no answer that didn’t have him biting the reins so as not to scream out.

Night was closing in fast and he was still too far from the closest patrol safe house. He needed to stop for the night but there was nowhere safe to stash himself and the horse. He stuck to the trail when he could, hoping he wouldn’t attract any unwanted attention.

He had to stop twice to bandage his leg again. The blood had slowed but it hadn’t stopped and he knew that was dangerous. He just had to get home. Tommy and him shared a blood type. He’d be fine if he got home.

Something cut across the trail causing his horse to rear back. With only one hand Joel didn’t have a chance, falling back and rolling into a ball as the horse stampeded and took off.

Joel stared at what was visible of the sky through the trees and gasped, attempting to catch the breath that had been knocked out of him.

This was it.

He would have to break his promise.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

“You’re going to be late.” You laughed when he began sponging kisses over where your towel wrapped around you. He moved your wet hair over your shoulder and continued kissing a path up your spine.

You were sitting on the edge of the bed attempting to get dressed while he was having his twenty extra minutes. It seemed he didn’t want to waste them sleeping today.

“It’ll be fine. Eugene is always late. It’s my turn.” He whispered and you felt the bed shift behind you as he sat up. You laughed when he tugged on your towel and you let him have his way. “Fuck.”

“See something you like?” You asked with another light laugh. His hands cupped your hips and travelled up your sides which had you writhing away from him while giggling. “Stop it. I give in.”

“Yeah, you giving in?” Joel asked against your neck, sucking kisses drawing the blood to your skin. “Gonna let me have my way with you?”

“Mhmm, I should’ve expected this when I married a dirty, old pervert.” You teased, gasping when he used his teeth to bite down. “All those years in the wild has left you depraved.”

“Who could blame me? A hot young wife like you, walking around half naked and basically begging for it like a bitch in heat. Well any man would have trouble resisting you.” Joel’s hand slipped around your side while he spoke to cup your breast. He thumbed lightly at the nipple before pinching harshly.

You gasped, leaning back against him as your hips lifted of their own accord. His words only fueled the fire and you whimpered, your head falling back on his shoulder. “Ain’t so smart now, are you Mrs Miller?”

“Nuh uh, Mr Miller.” You whispered as his hand slipped down over your stomach. He ran a finger down your slit and groaned against your neck. “I ain’t even touched you yet, baby.”

“Was thinking about you in the shower.” You muttered. He laughed against your neck. “Was hoping you’d wake early enough for this.”

You breathing turned shaky as his finger ran over your clit, barely there pressure making you twitch. “Yeah, is that why you were making so much noise getting ready for the day? Need me to take you apart first?”

You groaned as Joel pulled you back to sit between his legs. He was leaning against the headboard, keeping you faced away on purpose. He knew you liked to look at him. “Mhmm.”

“Couldn’t let me lie in. I fucked you twice yesterday, Pretty Girl. That wasn’t enough?” Joel asked, adding pressure to the finger circling your clit.

“Never enough.” You told him honestly. It was true. You don’t know how either of you managed to get anything done. From the moment you had met Joel, scared and defenseless on the outskirts of Jackson, he had enchanted you.

You had thought that maybe you had been alone so long that the trip back with him, sharing a horse had been the closest you had to human contact in months, made it seem reasonable that it had an effect on you.

“Insatiable.” He whispered in your ear, sliding a deliciously thick finger into you. The angle was off and he knew it wouldn’t do anything but tease you. “That’s what I get. Hard to keep up in my old age. Shouldn’t have snatched you out of the cradle.”

“I’m thirty- thirty six.” Your words caught on a moan when the palm of his hand pressed against your clit. “Hardly cradle snatching at that point.”

“I’m pushing sixty sweetheart. If I had a couple million dollars I could be a more handsome Hugh Hefner.” He teased as he inserted a second finger.

“That what you want? For me to put on some lingerie and bunny ears. Jacked it to playboy back in the day, did you?” You asked and he groaned. “Well old man, if you can’t keep up then let me take over.”

He laughed and raised his hands as you shuffled around to straddle his lap. He pulled the sheet back to bare himself to you and held you steady as you slowly lowered yourself onto him. “Always so fucking tight.”

“Cause you’re so fucking big.” You whimpered, your nails digging into his shoulders. For a moment while you adjusted his hands were on your hips, thumbs stroking the skin softly.

“You ready, baby?” He asked softly as you started to shift your hips slowly. “Gonna take me?”

“Promise me.” You whispered, moving yourself slowly. The teasing was gone now, your hands cupping his face. “Make me the promise.”

“I’m coming home today.” He promised, his hands helping your hips in the slow grind, your clit rubbing against his happy trail. “If I have to crawl.”

“You’ll always come home, right?” You asked and Joel pressed a soft kiss to your lips, closing his eyes. “Promise.”

“There ain’t a force that could hold me down.” He promised quietly. “I’ll come home to you.”

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Joel wasn’t alone. He could tell as much from the sounds around him. He was still over an hour from the closest safe house and darkness had settled over the forest like a blanket.

His vision was impaired and with his already shit hearing it had taken him a while to hear it. A stalker.

He wasn’t sure if that was worse or better than another of the merry band of brothers. His rifle was shit to him in the dark and he barely had the strength to raise it anyway.

At this point it might be easier to crawl. He considers it, getting down on his knees and crawling along with his one good arm.

Lying down is tempting if he’s honest. He’s got the pistol. It could be quick, painless even. He wouldn’t miss this time. He would be sure of it.

He knew the sound of his daughters voice was most likely due to blood loss. But his brain couldn’t rationalize the look of her in the forest. She was wearing her soccer uniform and he hissed at her to keep it down.

“It’s not safe. It ain’t safe, baby girl.” He hushed as the noise drew closer. He had to catch her, keep her quiet. She didn’t know, she had never known this world. “Sarah, baby, please.”

She continued to skip ahead, that same grin on her face. The Miller grin, it only ever lead to trouble. He could go back to her.

He could spend every day kicking a soccer ball with her and watching terrible movies. It wouldn’t be so bad. He missed her. He missed her so much.

“Sarah, you gotta be quiet.” She stared at him in horror and Joel knew without knowing. He ducked and the stalker overshot him just slightly, hitting the ground and rolling back. Joel freed his knife and brought it down, flinching back from the smell of rotting flesh and the teeth inches from his face.

He stumbled over the body of the stalker and waited for the next one to appear. The forest was still. Joel couldn’t hear his daughters laughter or the shifting noise of a stalker in the trees.

He was alone. Again.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Ellie had fallen into a fitful sleep. You had woken her twice from nightmares, your shirt damp from her tears. You had never seen her so scared but you had never seen her without Joel. Some days it was hard to remember she was only sixteen when she carried everything on her shoulders.

She was just a little girl and her dad was in trouble. He was missing and she couldn’t help him anymore.

You weren’t much better, replaying his promise to you that very morning. He had to be okay because if he wasn’t okay there was no way you would be.

You’d be strong for Ellie, you knew that much but you wouldn’t be able to stay in Jackson. Not when every turned corner would bring back his memory.

“You better be crawling, old man.”

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

“Come on, Dad. We’ll be late.” Sarah was laying in the grass next to Joel. She was trying to convince him to come to her.

“You’d like them. You know.” Joel told her quietly, his eyes shut against the onslaught of pain that came with every movement. He was so cold. “She’d have been a good step mom.”

“She’d have been a good older sister.” Sarah teased and Joel laughed. It was true, she was only a couple of years younger than you. “She’s good for you.”

“Ellie too. She’s not you. She’ll never be you.” Joel told the ghost of his daughter by his side. “But she helps when I miss you.”

“Good. You need that. It’s time you forgive yourself for me.” Sarah sighed and Joel opened his eyes, turning his head to the empty forest.

“You better be crawling.”

He huffed a laugh and winced, rolling over and shoving himself up to his feet. “I’m coming baby.”

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

First light finds you at the stables. Ellie is preparing Shimmer while you go through the bags one more. With Joel being lost the stables are down a horse and you consider sharing with Ellie.

The only downside is you don’t know how stable Joel will be and three people is just too much for Shimmer to carry, especially with Joel.

“A patrol will be leaving at midday.” Maria is standing behind you when you turn. She looks as if she’s gotten as much sleep as you have. “It’ll take a while to organize supplies for a patrol that may take up to a week.”

“Midday is too late. Ellie and I will head out now. We’ll follow the route. Leave markers if we have to leave it for any reason.” You told Maria, looking over her shoulder.

“I can’t let you do that.” Maria spoke evenly and you turned to find Tommy and Darren flanking her. “Those horses are property of Jackson. You’re erratic, you’ll make mistakes. Get yourself hurt.”

“Keep your horse then. We’ll go on foot.” You shrug, pulling your pack up on your shoulders. Ellie joined you at your side, leaving Shimmer at your words. “That’s not something you can stop me doing.”

“We need to look at the reality of the situation.” Darren spoke up and you raised your eyebrows at him before looking across to Maria’s other side at the very quiet Tommy Miller.

“What other reality is there? My husband is probably hurt and I’m going out to help him.” You shrugged and Maria shook her head. “Don’t.”

“You’ll get hurt. It’s not worth-“

Silence fell as Ellie raised her pistol slowly, pointing it at Tommy. You stared at her and tried to fight the smile. She couldn’t know you approved of what she was doing. “You were saying?”

“Ellie. Lower the gun.” Maria spoke quietly, inching towards Tommy who hadn’t moved a muscle. “Don’t joke around like this.”

“Who’s joking?” Ellie asked, her thumb knocking the safety off. “Cause either you got a problem with Joel, which you better not, or you got a problem with husbands. In that case I’ll help get rid of yours.”

You covered your mouth so that she wouldn’t see you smile but you didn’t say anything, watching Maria go through the thought process. “Maybe it’s father figures? Want your kid to grow up without one so she can be cool and edgy like me?”

“You’re being ridiculous.” Maria warned, her jaw tight with tension.

“So are you. Cause it sounded like you were gonna say Joel wasn’t worth it.” Ellie told her, coiled just as tight with tension. “If you feel that way about someone we care about then why the fuck shouldn’t we treat you the same?”

“You’re awful quiet for a man who don’t seem to give two fucks about his brother.” You spoke up finally, eyes on Tommy. He stood to attention but his rifle was still slung over his shoulder, relaxed.

“Y’all are gonna point that gun at me no matter what I say.” He shrugged idly. “Turns out I ain’t able to stay on everyone’s good side. Joel has been through some pretty bad things and I think that he’ll hold on somewhere until we can get to him.”

“He wouldn’t have this discussion. He’d have been out that gate before Eugene and Shane had finished explaining.” You told him and Tommy nodded, agreeing with you.

“I ain’t pretending to be Joel. I’ve got a baby and a wife to think of. He’d kill me if I got hurt on his honor.” Tommy explained. “Now you told me yesterday to grow a pair and I’m telling you I did. I’m praying my big brother is okay but I can’t let my little girl grow up without a daddy.”

“He’s protected you-“

“Since I was four years old and our daddy went to get the paper and never came home. Our momma wasn’t much good and so he stepped up. He bailed me out of jail more times than I count.” Tommy interrupted. “He made sure I stayed alive all through the end of the world. I ain’t forget every sacrifice he made. He woulda been happier just rolling over and dyin’ after Sarah but he stayed alive. For me.”

“Then why-“

“Seems a piss poor way to thank him for saving my life by putting it on the line like this. You two should think about that. I know he’s made his fair share of sacrifices for you both, too.” Tommy said and you sighed, lifting a hand to cover your face, eyes burning with tears.

“He’s all alone.” You whispered and Ellie clutched you. “He ain’t ever been all alone. What if he can’t find a reason to keep fighting?”

“He’s got two great reasons right here.” Tommy promised. “He wouldn’t dare forget that.”

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

You had only left the lamp on in your living room. The low light lended you a softness in its golden glow. It kept everything cozy and personal, gentle.

Gentle just like his hands that held you up. Your back pinned against the wall, your legs around his waist. He held you like you were precious, kissing you softly.

“You sure about this?” He whispered against your lips. “Don’t owe me anything, sweetheart.”

“I want everything.” You whispered back, your hands cupping his face. You ran your thumb over his bottom lip, feeling the heat of his breath. “I have since that first moment.”

“There’s better men out there. Younger, kinder.” He warned you and you rolled your eyes. “I mean it, you think I’m a good man because I helped you. A few years ago I might not have.”

“While I highly doubt any version of you would’ve been able to tamp down your noble spirit, how fortunate am I that got this version of you?” You asked him, your hand moving to the back of his neck. “I want you, Joel. Scars and all.”

“You might change your mind in the morning.” He sighed, his head tipping back into the fingers combing through the hair at the base of his neck. “What happens then?”

“Well in the extremely low chance that happens we act like two adults that had sex casually. We get over it.” You tell him and he shakes his head.

“I won’t be able to get over it. I haven’t been able to get over you since the first time I touched your skin. Getting this, getting everything, I won’t survive it not working out.” He muttered and you sighed against his lips, using the hand at the back of his neck to push him close enough to kiss.

“Then take me to bed and keep me forever. It’s the only way it can work.” You whisper when you separate. He huffs an incredulous laugh before his grip shifts and he’s supporting you entirely, heading for the stairs.

“Well if that’s the only option, I guess I’ll take it.”

Think. Think. Think.

You had stayed in the stables with Ellie while the discussion took place. Tommy led the team, a map spread out over a barrel as he divided up routes for each team to take.

Initially he hadn’t wanted you or Ellie to go but for the sake of peace he had given in, assigning you both the creek trails. It was as much of a peace offering as you were gonna get so you both taken it.

“We got a live one!” A call came from the tower, drawing everyone’s attention. It was almost casual how disinterested you were in an infected getting this close to Jackson.

It was rare it happened but that’s what tower patrols were for. To deal with a situation like this. There was a pause and then a yell.

“Don’t fucking shoot! For the love of god don’t shoot. It’s Joel!”

Everyone paused in place, not daring to move a muscle. Several long seconds passed before you ducked by Tommy, tearing out of the stables towards the gate that was opening slowly.

And there he was. He was down on his knees, one hand across his chest in a sling. He was covered in blood and bruises but he was there. You slipped out past Jesse and skidded along the mud on your knees to land in front of Joel.

“I promised.”

Think. Think. Think.

Joel’s breathing was labored and even in his sleep he grunted in pain on every exhale. The sheet was low on his waist, showing of the mottled expanse of his chest. It was easy to see which ribs had been broken by the deep purple coloring.

His wrist was wrapped in a hard shell cast which Ellie had already signed with a black sharpie she had been coveting.

Hidden by the blanket was the knife wound which hadn’t knicked any arteries but had led to the need for two transfusions from Tommy just to give Joel enough of a chance to fight through his injuries.

You had spent most waking seconds with him in the clinic. You slept curled up in the chair and the rest of time you held his uninjured hand. The swelling on his face was going down slowly and he was beginning to look like your Joel again.

Ellie dipped in and out between school and spending time with her friends. You had assured her that he was fine and that you’d come get her if she was needed.

Your finger traced over his scarred knuckles and you wiped a tear away. His hand twitched in yours, lifting to wipe your cheek clumsily.

“Those tears better not be for me.” He grunted.

“Nah, they’re for me. You’re such a pain to keep on bed rest.” You teased, throat tight against the onslaught of emotion. “How you feeling, old man?”

“Like shit. Do you know how I broke my wrist?” He asked, looking up at you, shifting against his pillows. You only shook your head silently, unable to say anything for fear it would just be a sob. “Fell down a fuckin’ ladder. Was a contractor all my fuckin’ life and I fell down a ladder.”

You laughed wetly, the tears falling freely now. He tried to shush you, his free hand pulling you closer until you were curled up on his good side. “I was so scared.”

“Made you a promise, didn’t I?” He asked, a lightness to his voice so you’d know he was teasing. “There ain’t a force in this world that could keep me from coming home to you.”

You press your face into his neck as you attempt to compose yourself. You sniffled quietly and he tightened the arm wrapped around you. “Don’t ever put me through that again. Ellie and I almost got us kicked out of Jackson.”

“Oh yeah?” Joel laughs like it’s funny. “You causing trouble baby?”

“Ellie held Tommy at gunpoint. Maria and I fought so bad I thought she’d shoot me herself.” You told him quietly and his shifted around until he could look you in the eye.

“Why?” He asked, his eyes wide in shock.

“They didn’t want us to go looking for you.” You told him and he sighed. “I also hit Eugene.”

“Baby, it wasn’t his fault.” Joel assured you, raising the hand covered in a cast to smooth a finger over your cheek.

“Everyone knows why you’d split up.” You argued and Joel only rolled his eyes. “And then Maria and Tommy wouldn’t let us go. They, well Maria, said some pretty nasty things about you.”

“Maria’s got her reasons. I don’t know how much I’d like me if I was in her position.” Joel sighed and you rolled your eyes this time. “I’ve done some bad things, baby.”

“Just as many as Tommy has!” You argued and he sighed, sick of the same argument. You knew Joel was no saint but that didn’t make Tommy much better. “Told him to grow a pair.”

Joel laughed before wincing at the pain in his ribs. You let the conversation go and pressed in closer to him, your hand running up and down his chest carefully.

His breathing steadied and you assumed he had gone back to sleep. You continued to lie next to him, touching him softly.

“If heaven is real, they ain’t ever gonna let me in. No god could forgive me for what I’ve done.” Joel spoke and you looked up at him, your hand resting over his stomach.

“I ain’t too worried about a god that let the world fall to ruins like this. He’s got more problems than what you did to survive when I get to him.” Joel laughed, groaning in pain again. “I don’t care. About any of it. You’re my husband, you’re Ellie’s father. That’s what I care about.”

Think. Think. Think.

Maria calls by when Joel has been back home for a few days. He’s allowed sit up in bed but that’s all. You’ve taken it upon yourself to enforce his bed rest and he’s decided the rewards are very much worth it.

He learned the hard way what happens when he ignores your ruling in favor of stumbling down the stairs and collapsing against the couch in the short time it takes you to head to the trading post in town.

He had hurt his ribs which had only made it worse when you took a seat on the rocking chair in your bedroom, the one he had built you.

He had watched as you had brought yourself to orgasm, in too much pain to even sit all the way up.

It was the first time he had seen you have an orgasm without his help and it hurt more than all of his injuries combined. He had learned his lesson quickly.

So when Maria knocked he didn’t even look up from the book he was reading and you kissed his cheek in reward before crawling out of bed and heading for the stairs.

You opened the door and felt your smile drop as Maria stood in place, her hands folded in front of her. “I owe you an apology.”

You knew that you should accept it, send her on her way, and get back to Joel. It was all water under the bridge. “Damn right you owe me an apology.”

“I’m not sorry that I didn’t let you leave.” She explained, shifting her weight. “I was right, I knew he would get back here on his own.”

“Just fucking barely!” You couldn’t help the explosion. “Do you know how close I got to never seeing him again?”

“I understand but-“

“You play God here. You choose who is worth your time and who isn’t. You ain’t got a problem with Joel’s past when it makes him the best for patrol. When it’s raiders and smugglers he’s killing.” You snapped and she sighed. “He’s not your little soldier, that’s what you hate. You can bend Tommy to your will but you can’t have him.”

“I came to apologise.” She ignored your point and it made you even angrier. “I want to apologise for judging how he kept himself alive.”

You paused at that, not expecting her to admit it. She took a deep breathe and clasped her hands in front of her. “You were right. The choices they made brought them here to us. Tommy is alive because Joel made sure of it. I owe him everything I have.”

“I’m glad we’re clear on that.” You muttered petulantly, unable to stop yourself pulling the same face Ellie did when she was proven right.

“He loves you so much.” Maria sighed softly. “He used every last reserve a person has to get back here. He’s a different man when it comes to you.

You sighed and shook your head. “You still don’t get it. He’s not a different man with me. He’s the exact same man he’s been for over fifty years. I love him in every phase of his life. Given the chance I wouldn’t change loving him.”

You stared at Maria for a long second before shaking your head again and shutting the door in her face. You climbed the stairs and found Joel with his book in his lap and a proud smile he was trying to hide.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on her. She ain’t wrong.” Joel sighed and you rolled your eyes.

“Course she is. That’s my husband she’s talking about. I wouldn’t swear myself to just anyone in this world. Only the best.”

Stop. Breathe. Think.

Joel had only just earned the right to tackle the stairs again after two weeks of bed rest. He was reveling in his new found freedom by sitting on the sofa rather than the bed.

You had begun returning to society, picking up a few shifts down at the Tipsy Bison and trusting him to behave. You knew he would, he was wrapped around your finger.

He had just found a position that didn’t irritate any of his still healing injuries when there was a pounding at the door. He sighed to himself got up from the sofa, staggering slightly on his bad leg.

An irate Eugene was at the the door, his face red and his eyes wild. He attempted to shove past Joel who wasn’t so injured that he allowed it. He shoved Eugene back over the threshold, his eyebrows furrowed.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” Joel asked, his hand raised to shove Eugene backwards again if needed. He was incoherent with rage so Joel just stared at him.

“Where the fuck is she?” He snapped at Joel who frowned at Eugene. “The fucking bitch of yours, where is she?”

“Now Eugene, I got two lovely ladies in my life and I know you ain’t referring to either of ‘em as a bitch. So let’s try again before I gotta bust my stitches and break my cast to teach you a lesson.” Joel warned and Eugene attempted to shove by again only for Joel to shove harder this time, knocking him back a step.

“She fucking done it. I know she did. She’s the only one who would’ve. That fucking wife of yours.” Eugene’s eyes flashed and Joel reached forward, his fist curling in Eugene’s shirt.

“You don’t talk about my wife like that. I ain’t said nothing about the bruises you left on her wrist cause I been in recovery and she did try to hit you a second time. But don’t think I didn’t notice. If I think you’re gonna hassle her further I’ll bury you in that back fucking yard and use you to fertilize her flowers.” Joel warned, voice low. He barely noticed Tommy opening the gate behind Eugene and making his way up towards the porch.

“It’s all gone. It had to have been her.” Joel took a guess at what was missing as Eugene stepped back. “Years of fucking work.”

“She ain’t been outside that wall without me since the day she came in it. So walk fucking away. And don’t let me hear you been hassling her.” Joel warned. Eugene turned with more drama than Ellie during a tantrum, stalking past Tommy and banging the garden gate behind him.

“Wild that. Someone moved every single plant he had. You know how much that is?” Tommy asked and Joel looked over at his brother’s smirk. “Enough to fill the basement of that mansion a few miles away. Heat lamps were tough to get up there but there was already a generator in place.”

“You son of a bitch.” Joel grinned.

“That’s your mama too you’re talking about.”

[thicctails]

I C R A V E more gbc au stuff: particularly with Bill: were the twins aware of Bill before gravity falls? what do they tell the twins about bill once they get there? how does bill and his parents even go about reconnecting?? I want to know more about the direct aftermath of the reunion. It's not hard to piece together Bill and Fords relationship from the journals: did they read into it the wrong direction or smth? Like Bill fucking traumatized Ford: Euclid and Scalene's estranged long lost son fucking severly traumatized and manipulated a realtive of their adoptive kids: there's gotta be more complex feelings there? Does Bill blame them for his medical trauma? do Scalene and Euclid regret that? did they have differing opinions on it back when? also like, now Bill is legit insane: what with him having been percieved insane or a ticking time bomb of insanity before how do they feel about that? do they have differeing opinions?????

FNSKJDFNSDKJ DSI C R A V E MORE FERERJSNJKFDNFKE

PLEASE FEED MEEEEE

Ask and ye shall r e c e i v e

Both Scalene and Euclid were under the impression that Bill died when Euclidea inevitably collapsed in on itself. They told Dipper and Mabel that they had a child, but never went into much detail, as it hurt too much to talk about.

(You can imagine how fucking gutted they were when they saw images of him all around the Shack. Journal 3 was just a big fat gob of salt in their open wounds)

Reconnecting for them is like a healing an infected wound: you have to cut out the rot, grit your teeth for the burn of cleaning it out, work to keep the infection away, and accept the fact that there will be a scar.

Bill is so fundamentally broken and mentally unwell that not even the Axolotl can really fix him. The best he can do is help Bill get to a point where he can begin again in a different form. But getting to that point is the real trouble. It's rotten work, a path laden with pain and suffering and hurt feelings, but it's the only option worth fighting for.

Scalene and Euclid feel immense guilt for the mistakes they made raising Bill. They allowed themselves to be pressured into trying to make their gifted son normal, and everyone they ever loved and then some ended up paying the price. Bill may have started the fire, but their misguided good intentions handed him the match.

Bill himself is a whirlwind of emotions. He is unexplainably relieved that his parents are alive, but that also means that he can no longer possess a false bravado and pretend he intentionally slaughtered his entire dimension. His past is red and blue and in his face, and the voices have only gotten louder since he saw his mother's heartbroken face. Not only that, but they have, in his eye, replaced him with two of the people destined to destroy him! They look at Shooting Star and Pinetree with all the fondness they used to look at him with, and it makes his insides burn.

They also are constantly setting off each other's triggers, like some kind of sick oroborus of trauma. Bill's powers often manifest as pyrokinesis, which isn't great when your parents are still living with the horrific injuries caused by said fire. On the other side of the coin, Euclid has been soothing the twins with gentle TV static since they were little, since his preferred method of manifestation is screen-based technology, (whereas Scalene prefers music and books) which has caused Bill to spiral into a violent panic attack more than once.

As for Ford... well, neither Cipher parent is fond of him, as i've stated, but while they don't know the entire story of how his and Bill's time together was, they know enough to know that it ended in violence and misery, and they are not so heartless that they do not feel pity for the man and disgust towards their son's actions. They make it very clear to their eldest, when they can stand to speak to each other, that he is to never possess another member of the Pines family.

He only breaks that promise once, though it was for a good reason. Gideon needed a good beat down, and Pine Tree was too hurt to make that jump without help.

[sxnshxnxxnddxxsxxs]

Duke Thomas headcannons becuase please just write him as a black boy:

the first time there’s a summer rain at night after he moves into Wayne Manor Duke sets up the speakers and the floodlights and lives out his 00’s rnb music video dreams

after that Alfred will sometimes drive him around in the back of one of the cars when it rains at night because he doesn’t want his latest grandson to get hypothermia but understands that it is very important to live out 00’s rnb music video dreams

Duke teaches Cass the Usher watch this thing and originally they only use it to tell each other that they’re gonna do some dumb shit but then Cass decides she really likes it and uses it more than the actual sign

Duke and Cass have a theme song because they are besties and that theme song is black and yellow by Wiz Khalifa whenever it plays they drop everything to rap to each other and if anyone turns it off before it finishes they start it again even louder it becomes a great distraction technique for other batfamily members. they chose the song because of their uniforms but the first time a civilian sees how enthusiastic they are about the song they draw a different conclusion and they find it so funny that they definitely have to keep it as their theme song from now on

Duke lives a no shoes in the house life no matter who’s house it is or what everyone else is doing

He also keeps his Signal uniform exclusively in the batcave because no uniforms in the Manor seems like the natural extension for no outside clothes in bed

Duke sneaks scotch bonnets into the Manor kitchen generally timed with the occasions that Jason is around and in the mood to cook. Dinner those nights feature running eyes and noses from Bruce Tim and Steph along with all the milk in the Manor finishing. It’s great entertainment for Duke Cass Damian Jason and Dick

Duke has locs he lowkey thinks about bleaching the ends to match the aesthetic of his uniform but he’s unsure of if it will make him to conspicuous

When he first moved to the Manor he got pooled into the schedule to pick up hair shop (beauty supply store) supplies with the Fox’s because they’re all way too busy of people to be driving out of the way individually so it only made sense to add Duke to that. He and Tam also timetable his retwist appointments with her hair appointments for the same time

Duke is an instigator Jason and Tim will be having a petty squabble that is about to fizzle out but then Duke walks past them and just whispers a quick “if I were you I wouldn’t have that” and then an hour later a priceless vase is broken there’s holes in the wall and Tim and Jason have matching black eyes. Duke considers it a public service to provide Babs with entertainment for when Oracle hours a slow she agrees and doesn’t snitch on just how much shit Duke starts so he can get away with even more

Duke joins Jason and Alfred’s book club and the first book he picks is Beloved because like they’re in this big old gothic manor respect the aesthetic

One time Bruce walks passed Duke on ft to his friends and he’s performing “Wisdom” and Bruce thinks it’s something Duke came up with himself and is trying to be a supportive dad and is like “that’s great son” with a really strained smile and Duke just sticks to the bit like “you really think so?” bruce even more pained “yeah it’s amazing”

He also has exclusively satin pillowcases and gives everyone in the Manor a set because it’s good for the hair and therefore a good use of Bruce’s rich people money

Duke upon realising that he was gonna be adopted by a bunch of crime fighting pseudofurries and was going to join them in the crime fighting said this some white people shit and that’s why he chose Signal rather than some bioluminescent bird

[https-alberich]

CW: Fighting. Discriptions of gore. Bullying. Reader discretion is advised.

Notes: Chat did I cook with this one? Be honest.

Delinquent yandere boy who treats you like his personal plaything.

Delinquent yandere boy who grabs your hair and shoves you against a locker.

Delinquent yandere boy who tells you that they run this school, and you better respect that.

A sharp sting of the metal locker against your shoulder made you wince. “I fucking run this place.” Abel hissed. “You belong to me. You, and the rest of this fucked up establishment.” He leaned down and sunk his sharp teeth into the flesh of your neck, grinning when you squirmed in his grasp. “There. Now everyone knows, be grateful. I'd much rather light my cigarettes out on your pretty skin bitch. You're getting off easy today.” He whispered before pulling away, satisfied. “Now everyone knows who you belong to.” Abel ran a hand through his tousled black hair, his hazel eyes were bright with a fire. His cronies egged him on, jeering at you. The boy merely smirked and shoved his hands into his pockets, "See you around bitch.” He jeered.

Delinquent yandere boy who aims to make your school life as miserable as possible.

Delinquent yandere boy who stalks the hallways with his little gang of bullies after class on the off chance he could catch you at your locker.

Delinquent yandere boy who quickly memorises your schedule and acts annoyed when he realises, he has spares with you.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” A voice came out from the side, and you looked up from your notebook. Abel’s eyes were sharp and filled with annoyance. “Why the fuck do I have to have spares with the likes of you?” He huffs, “Move over bitch.” He rolled his eyes, dumping his books next to yours. You stared up at him, giving him a confused look. “Don’t give me that fucking look bitch. Every other table is occupied with couples who don’t understand that making out is something the rest of us don’t want to see.” He grumbled, looking annoyed.

Delinquent yandere boy who relishes in the way your cheeks flush and you give him a small smile at his stupid jokes.

Delinquent yandere boy who absolutely hates the way that you make him feel, how he wants to dote on you and shower you in his affections.

Delinquent yandere boy who starts spreading rumours that you’re dating him, effectively warding away most of the school from even looking your way, lest they wish to end up at the nurse’s office with a broken nose...

Delinquent yandere boy who doesn't hesitate to beat up the boy in your lab partner who was clearly being too handsy last class.

A sickening crack echoed through the school hallways. “No please- I didn’t mean-” The trembling voice was cut off by the sound of flesh pounding against flesh, the sound was sticky - the echo of bloody knuckles pounding against broken skin and the whimper of a plea to stop along with the smell of iron filling your senses made your eyes water and your stomach turn, nausea and bile rising from your throat.

Delinquent yandere boy who feels nothing but a burning hatred for this man - no. 'Man' was too humane for this scum. He was nothing but dirt under his feet.

Delinquent yandere boy who needs to show everyone exactly what happens to people that cross him.

Delinquent yandere boy who notices you watching and tries to show off, parading the fact that he owns you.

“Shut the fuck up.” Abel hissed. “You knew exactly what you did. Trying to fuck around with my bitch. I’ll make sure you never fucking think of them in your measly pathetic fucking life again.” Your eyes went wide when you pushed past the crowd of people who had formed around him to watch the spectacle. 

Delinquent yandere boy who ignores the cheers and the sound of everyone else's voices.

Delinquent yandere boy who’s doing this for one person and one person only.

Delinquent yandere boy who would gladly get every detention, every suspension, would willingly be expelled if he knew he was protecting you.

Some of them were cheering Abel on, some were actively trying to interfere. A boy lay at his feet, now unconscious and bleeding out. He looked down at the twitching body, it could’ve passed for as dead if it wasn’t for the sound of his weak breathing. Abel grinned and spat at the boy. “That’s what you get for fucking messing with my bitch. This goes for everyone else too-” He reached over into the crowd and grabbed your arm, pulling you into the circle. “If anyone touches my bitch. I will personally end you. You hear that fuckers? I'll beat your ass halfway to hell.” His eyes were sharp and cold, and possibly, the most dazling hazel you’ve ever seen. Abel huffed and pulled a cigarette from his pocket, reaching over to light it before the door to the English classroom swung open.

Delinquent yandere boy who knows that he’ll be punished for what he did.

Delinquent yandere boy who doesn’t fucking care anymore.

Delinquent yandere boy who shoots you a shit eating grin as he walks to detention.

The crowd quickly dispersed, leaving you and Abel standing over the unconscious body. The teacher took one look at the body before their eyes slid over to Abel giving him a 'look'. The delinquent scoffed and jammed the unlit cigarette back into his pocket. “I’m going jeez, what’s up your ass this morning.” He grumbled, whispering the last part under his breath, knowing that if he was caught making fun of a teacher, his one detention would quickly become four. Abel rolled his eyes, and he reached over to ruffle your hair. “See you around bitch. If anyone fucks with you, let me know.” He mused shooting you a grin before he slinks away to detention. 

Delinquent yandere boy who doesn’t even care that you never outwardly accepted his advances.

Delinquent yandere boy who is firm in the idea that you love him almost as much as he loves you.

Delinquent yandere boy who would go to hell and back for you.

Taglist: No-one so far!

© Written By https-Alberich. Do not copy, steal or translate without permission.

[holylulusworld]

Two bikes (2)

Summary: You’re back in your hometown and meet two men from your past.

Pairing: former Jax Teller x fem!Reader (pre-story), Biker!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Warnings: smitten Bucky, fluff, light/implied smut scene

A/N: I wanted Jax and Biker!Bucky in one fic. So suffer with me…

Two bikes (1)

Two bikes masterlist

He moves slowly but with enough strength to punch the air out of your lungs. You gasp with every powerful thrust, torn between lust and regret.

How could you end up in his arms? How could you let him fool you again?

“I knew you’d feel this good, baby,” he groans in your neck. His body presses yours into the mattress and you are glad that he can’t see your face.

You’re close to tears because of your bad decision of getting close to the man breaking your heart more than once.

If only he chanted your name when you were not tangled in each other. If only he meant the words he whispers in your ear while taking you apart.

You know better, and still, you fell for him again.

“Look at you, all fucked out,” he groans with the last thrust. He is still on top of you, his face buried in your neck long after he came inside of you. You feel his chest pressed against your back, so close that it feels like you are one person. “Shit, you gave me another one.”

He finally slips out of you, huffing as you do not move. “That was amazing,” he says while already looking for his pants. “Uh-maybe you should head home. It’s getting late and I’d hate for you to walk in the dark.”

“I-“ your voice fails. How can he be a passionate and sweet lover one moment, and the next he turns into the selfish asshole you know so well. “You’re right.”

You slip out of bed to grab your clothes and throw them on. He watches you hastily dress with amusement. “You can go slow. Give me a little show.”

“Fuck you,” you snap at him. You walk out of the room, your jacket, bag, and one shoe tugged under your arm to get away from the next mistake you made. “How could I have been so stupid?”

You walk away, ignoring passersby watching you walk along the sidewalk with only one shoe on. Your apartment isn’t far away from his place, and you are too out of it to put your second shoe on.

You’re more running than walking when you see your building. With your last strength, you spring toward the building and unlock the door with shaking fingers.

You stare at the word count before rereading the words. “That’s awful. A bad sex scene and the angst doesn’t hit right.” You rub your tired eyes. “Three hours and I only got three hundred and eighty lousy words. You’ve got to be kidding me, Y/N.”

Slamming the laptop shut you sigh deeply. Of course, your personal experience is always a good inspiration, but not this time. You want to start this book with a perfect opening, so the reader doesn’t want to put the book away until they read every single sentence.

“What do we do?” you hide your face in your hands and sigh again. Since the day you met Jax again, your mood turned sour.

You believed coming back to your hometown would spark your inspiration. Instead, you got your heart broken by the very same man causing you to leave town years ago.

“Fuck, I need to come up with something better than this shit.”

You’re about to give up when your phone starts ringing. Reluctantly you leave your unfinished first chapter to answer the call. “Hello, this is…”

You don’t get to tell your name before Bucky calls you doll. “Hey, doll,” he chuckles when you squeak a hello. “I wanted to tell you that I fixed your car. You can get it this afternoon if you want to.”

“That would be great, James,” you smile to yourself. Hearing Bucky’s voice saved you from despairing over your first chapter. “I can be there at five, is that okay?”

“No, no doll,” he stops you before you can say more. “I’ll pick you up, doll. I can’t let you walk or take the bus. And please, stop calling me James. My father called me that when I did something stupid. I hate it.”

“Did he call you James often?” you tease. “I bet he did because you did something stupid all the time. Like smoking or driving too fast.”

“Ma’am, I’m a responsible driver, and I do not smoke,” he replies, but you hear the joke in his words. “Maybe I like a good drink, but that’s all. Oh, and don’t worry. I don’t drink and drive.”

“I can call a taxi, Bucky. You don’t have to pick me up,” you try not to owe Bucky another favor. He refused to take money from you for repairing your car. That’s more than enough.

“Doll, if we want to stay friends,” he tries to sound serious, but chuckles, “you’ll accept a ride on my bike, miss. I’ll pick you up at five pm sharp. Please wear something…nice.” He laughs when you mutter into the phone. “Nah, just kidding. Come as you are, Y/N. That’ll be enough.”

“Fine, but I’ll pay you back somehow.” He makes an odd noise but plays it cool. “Oh! I know. I’ll devote the first chapter of my new book to you, Mr. Barnes.”

“A new book!” He gasps. “Will it be about the same woman? Another part of your series? Please say yes.”

You’re surprised Bucky knows your books. “Yes, and no. I try to…I don’t know.” You huff. “I want her to have a fresh start, just like me. Old habits die hard, but it’s time. If you know what I mean.”

“I know damn well what you mean, doll. I’ll pick you up at five and we can talk about that fresh start some more…”

“Here,” Bucky holds a leather jacket in his hands. It’s too small to be his, and you frown. “I got you a jacket, so you won’t freeze.” He grins when you glance at the jacket.

“Bucky, I’m not your old lady,” you point out, knowing about the traditions of bikers.

“Not yet,” he retorts. Bucky helps you into the jacket, and a big smile on his face when he zips it up. “Looks good on you, Y/N.”

You roll your eyes. He’s very charming, but you know the flirty banter will turn into something more if you don’t stop him. But…do you want to stop him?

“I got you a helmet too,” he grabs the helmet and helps you to put it on. He taps it twice and grins. “Perfect. Now we can go for a ride…”

Bucky gets on his bike, planting his feet on the ground to steady it. He holds out his hand to help you get on the back of his bike.

“Hang on, baby. I don’t want you to fall off my bike.” He smirks when you laugh. “You can hold tight onto me, Y/N. I won’t mind.”

You hesitate for a second. This situation is a little too familiar for your liking. You look at his back, reading the wrong club’s name on it. “Howling Commando,” you whisper.

“Is everything alright,” Bucky asks. “We can wait if you’re scared of driving in the back.”

“No,” you shake the memories of the past off and wrap your arms tightly around Bucky. “All good, Bucky. We can go.”

He starts the engine, ignoring he can feel you pressed against him. If he gets too distracted by your closeness, he’ll crash his bike with you in the back. And that’s the last thing he wants to do…

Tags in reblog.

[nogoodsheepstealing-greatgrandma]

Consequences of Driftmark for Alicent and Rhaenyra

*In F&B, the events at Driftmark take place during Laenor's funeral, not Laena's, and Harwin is still alive, and Lyonel Strong is still Hand.

In bold are the consequences that are depicted in House of the Dragon - the rest are cut.

Consequences of Driftmark for Alicent in F&B:

Aemond (10) accidentally loses an eye, scarring him for life

Viserys publicly forbids any questioning of Rhaenyra's sons' parentage

Consequences of Driftmark for Rhaenyra in F&B:

Jace (6) is 'savagely pummelled' by Aemond and Luke (5) has his nose broken

Viserys orders Rhaenyra to move to Dragonstone to put an end to the fighting, therefore distancing her from court

Viserys orders her lover Ser Harwin Strong away to Harrenhall to dispel the rumours (resulting in his and Lyonel's deaths by fire)

Viserys considers but passes over Rhaenyra as his new Hand and reinstates Otto instead.

Meanwhile in House of the Dragon:

Harwin is already dead after being sent away for beating up Ser Criston Cole defending the honor of the Crown Princess against the Kingsguard knight who is apparently allowed to publicly shit-talk her?

Rhaenyra has already chosen to exile herself to Dragonstone because something something wise sailor steers to avoid the storm??

Rhaenyra is never even considered in the running to serve as her own father's Hand despite being the Crown Princess. Viserys even mentions that his own father Baelon had served as Hand for his father King Jaehaerys... but nope he just gives that pin straight back to Otto.

And then there's Rhaenyra immediately marrying Daemon after faking Laenor's death...

Again, Laenor is already dead at this point in the book. It is his funeral, and that is why we're having the first public confrontation over the boys parentage now, when Laenor is no longer around to refute it. Yes, Laenor is an unfortunate example of an LGBT character getting killed off, but the attempts by the show to avoid burying their gays creates a new host of problems. Laenor is now ok with murdering an innocent bystander, and then traumatising his parents and children with a body burnt beyond recognition. Rhaenyra is now also ok with this. This is now a part of their characterisation, but not one the show actually addresses or acknowledges - because it was only ever a temporary characterisation for the purposes of finding a way to get rid of Laenor without repeating a harmful trope. Similar to how it is now apparently a part of Rhaenys' characterisation that she will slaughter hundreds of smallfolk (and keeps a nifty change of armour in her purse for emergencies). This was purely for the Doylist purpose of having a big shocking Game of Thrones Episode 9 Moment, as evidenced by the weak Watsonian reason for why Rhaenys didn't end the war there and then ("she wouldn't do that to another mother" "it wasn't my war to start"). Not to mention that by episode 10 both Rhaenyra and Rhaenys seem to espouse the ideals of the Geneva Convention.

The change makes Laenor a suddenly very shitty person - particularly considering he left his kids with a burnt corpse so soon after their biological father actually died in a fire (it's not as though the show even makes the most of this trauma to actually develop Jace as a character). If Laenor is to exit the show anyway, at least have him exit with integrity. Then instead of spending his final episodes setting up Laenor faking his own death we could have explored his relationship with his children. What if instead of Harwin defending the boys in the training yard we had Laenor facing off against Criston Cole? The man who murdered his lover and now bullies his children? This would also establish Laenor as a father figure whose presence would actually be missed - as it is he is treated as a political nuisance to be bumped off so Rhaenyra can finally marry Daemon.

Which is also a consequence of changing the order of deaths around - Harwin is still alive during Laenor's funeral in the book. If Harwin were still alive in the show, Rhaenyra would not be looking to marry Daemon - as GRRM said in an interview, he could write at least a novella about Rhaenyra's romance with Harwin. Rhaenyra certainly would not have been plotting to get rid of Laenor. Again, it is as soon as Laenor dies that there is a public confrontation over about their sons' parentage; losing Laenor only hurts Rhaenyra.

On that note, while Daemon is rumoured to have paid Qarl Correy to get rid of Laenor, he is not the only one who stood to benefit from Laenor's death. It is much easier for the Greens or for Vaemond to challenge the legitimacy of Rhaenyra's children with Laenor no longer alive to claim them as his own. Especially if you kill him off before the now-betrothed Luke and Rhaena can grow old enough to marry and seal the alliance (in the book, it is Laena who arranges to betroth the children - perhaps she knew her cousin Vaemond would have no qualms usurping her daughters). And especially if Harwin is still alive and looking very suspicious as Rhaenyra's sworn shield. Imagine Harwin at Laenor's funeral, unable to comfort his grieving children without raising suspicion now that Laenor's absence leaves them exposed.

Providing an alternative suspect for Laenor's death would allow Daemon to be a more mysterious and grey character. I think one of the best moments of the show was when it cut away from Daemon's 'Heir for a day' toast to Otto reporting it to Viserys. Matt Smith apparently delivered the line with more sincerity than Otto makes out - a creative choice which is very in keeping with the spirit of F&B, filled as it is with biased narrators. I think it's a shame the show dropped this approach - imagine if the audience only ever heard rumours of Daemon murdering Rhea Royce, or murdering Laenor? Imagine if we had to balance for ourselves the light and dark in the character, analysing for ourselves how much truth was in the rumours. Imagine if Rhaenyra knew as much as we did, and had to decide what story she believed (what story could she live with?). This is the approach Game of Thrones should have taken with Ned Stark and Littlefinger - instead of Littlefinger monologing his evil plans like a pantomime villain it could have placed the audience in Ned's point of view (like in the book), forced to make decisions on who to trust based on limited information.

It would also make it more believable for Rhaenys to back Rhaenyra. True, Show Rhaenys doesn't leap to ally with Rhaenyra because she suspects she had a hand in her son's supposed death. But she also gets over that a little too easily. There is the Watsonian explanation that Rhaenys decides she can live with backing her son's potential murderer out of political pragmatism. But since by the finale she is fiercely defending Rhaenyra and singing her praises I'm going to assume that she's just in tune with the Doylist explanation that Laenor isn't actually dead. They could have at least have Rhaenys only suspect Daemon, and have the source of the rift be that Rhaenyra does not share her suspicions. That way Rhaenys can reconcile backing Rhaenyra without insulting her son's memory.

In addition to insulting Laenor, these changes remove sympathy and context for Rhaenyra's character.

Now Rhaenyra does marry Daemon within half a year of Laenor and Laena's death, and this is considered scandalous in the book. But the show makes it out to be immediately after his death, and it removes everything that happens within those 6 months. And a lot happens. Again, Rhaenyra is exiled away from court to Dragonstone.

To prevent further conflict, and put an end to these “vile rumors and base calumnies,” King Viserys further decreed that Queen Alicent and her sons would return with him to court, whilst Princess Rhaenyra confined herself to Dragonstone with her sons.

Yes, Rhaenyra 'took possession of Dragonstone' as her seat when she was 16, and she spent a lot of time there. We know she visited Laena at Driftmark from Dragonstone, and we know she gave birth to Joffrey on Dragonstone. But Dragonstone is close enough that Rhaenyra at 14 was racing Syrax between Dragonstone and King's Landing daily. And we know that until the events at Driftmark her sons were being raised and educated alongside Alicent's:

Though all six boys attended the same feasts, balls, and revels, and sometimes trained together in the yard under the same master-at-arms and studied under the same maesters, this enforced closeness only served to feed their mutual mislike, rather than binding them together as brothers.

Aemond losing his eye at Driftmark was what caused the final split of the royal family - not Rhaenyra getting embarrassed by her breastmilk leaking during a council meeting. Rhaenyra did not willingly leave King's Landing, because that would be a bad move, and the show knows it's a bad move, which is why they had to come up with that dumb line about the wise sailor steering to avoid the storm.

Next, Harwin is sent away, resulting in his and Lyonel's deaths.

Henceforth Ser Erryk Cargyll of the Kingsguard would serve as her sworn shield, whilst Breakbones returned to Harrenhal.

Lyonel Strong, Lord of Harrenhal and Hand of the King, accompanied his son and heir Ser Harwin on his return to the great, half-ruined castle on the lakeshore. Shortly after their arrival, a fire broke out in the tower where they were sleeping, and both father and son were killed, along with three of their retainers and a dozen servants.

So after being effectively exiled by her father and being forcibly separated from her lover, Rhaenyra suffers another huge personal loss. And so soon after losing her best friend Laena, and her husband and friend Laenor. Most importantly, by placing the fire at Harrenhal before Driftmark, rather than in the aftermath of Driftmark, the show erases another huge blow to Rhaenyra:

Rhaenyra is passed over as Hand.

Lord Strong had been the King’s Hand, and Viserys had come to rely upon his strength and counsel. His Grace had reached the age of three-and-forty, and had grown quite stout. He no longer had a young man’s vigor, and was afflicted by gout, aching joints, back pain, and a tightness in the chest that came and went and oft left him red-faced and short of breath. The governance of the realm was a daunting task; the king needed a strong, capable Hand to shoulder some of his burdens. Briefly he considered sending for Princess Rhaenyra. Who better to rule with him than the daughter he meant to succeed him on the Iron Throne? But that would have meant bringing the princess and her sons back to King’s Landing, where more conflict with the queen and her own brood would have been inevitable.

Viserys needed a new Hand after Lyonel's death, and he almost called Rhaenyra home. Her exile to Dragonstone was almost temporary, and serving as her father's Hand would have done wonders to smooth her transition to power. But Viserys prioritised avoiding conflict between Rhaenyra and Alicent and clearly decided 'happy wife, happy life' - and gave Otto the pin instead. Which positioned Otto perfectly to arrange a coup.

For all TG complain that Rhaenyra faced zero consequences for Aemond's eye - she sure got royally fucked over in the aftermath of Driftmark. For all TG complain that Viserys played favourites and let Rhaenyra get away with everything, his desire to avoid conflict and placate his wife seriously sabotaged Rhaenyra. He may have backed the legitimacy of her sons, but overall Driftmark was a political win for the Greens... and for Daemon.

These rulings pleased no one, Septon Eustace writes. Mushroom demurs: one man at least was thrilled by the decrees, for Dragonstone and Driftmark lay quite close to one another, and this proximity would allow Daemon Targaryen ample opportunity to comfort his niece, Princess Rhaenyra, unbeknownst to the king.

However you feel about Daemon, the timing and context of Rhaenyra's marriage to him is important.

Yet hardly had Ser Otto arrived at the Red Keep to take up the Handship than word reached court that Princess Rhaenyra had remarried, taking to husband her uncle, Daemon Targaryen. The princess was twenty-three, Prince Daemon thirty-nine.

Otto arrives in King's Landing to take the position that is rightfully Rhaenyra's, and Rhaenyra marries Daemon (upstaging Otto in the process). That's the context of their marriage. Daemon (however you interpret him and his motives) comforts Rhaenyra at a time in her life when she is losing everything, one after the other - her best friend, her husband, her lover, her influence at court, her position, the security of her succession. Rhaenyra marries Daemon to feel stronger again, at a time where much of her strength is being stripped away. Daemon was there at an extremely vulnerable time for her - he may even have related to her how he was also exiled by Viserys, how he was also passed over as Hand.

Based on the timing, Rhaenyra was also probably already pregnant.

Septon Eustace claims that Rhaenyra knew her father would never approve of the match, so she wed in haste to make certain he could not prevent the marriage. Mushroom puts forward a different reason: the princess was once again with child and did not wish to birth a bastard. And thus that dreadful year 120 AC ended as it begun, with a woman laboring in childbirth. Princess Rhaenyra’s pregnancy had a happier outcome than Lady Laena’s had. As the year waned, she brought forth a small but robust son, a pale princeling with dark purple eyes and pale silvery hair. She named him Aegon.

Even accounting for the possibility that Aegon was born early - which is likely since he is noted as being small - it is possible Rhaenyra conceived him before her marriage to Daemon. The year after all began with Laena's death and ended with Aegon's birth, and as I've detailed Rhaenyra goes through a lot between Driftmark and her wedding to Daemon. So while he is comforting Rhaenyra for her many losses, Daemon gets her pregnant.

The show does at least keep the context of a grieving Rhaenyra having recently lost Harwin when she finally sleeps with Daemon. But by changing the order of events they remove much of the context that made this such a low and vulnerable time in Rhaenyra's life. She doesn't lose a best friend. Her children don't lose a protector in Laenor. She leaves King's Landing voluntarily. She was never in the running to be Hand. Her exile is erased from the show.

In the show, it's "hee hee we'll get rid of Laenor and then we'll be an unstoppable power couple and RULE THE WORLD - from Dragonstone though, 100% voluntarily, because something something wise sailor avoids the storm..." And this is apparently the more interesting and complex improvement on F&B?

At this point the show had already changed Rhaenyra's childhood so she is no longer bullied by her stepmother and groomed by her sworn shield. These instances of adversity in Rhaenyra's life are exchanged for a version of Alicent and Criston that are more sympathetic and that many find more interesting. I may personally disagree, but I can understand it, and I can understand why some fans like these changes. However I do not understand why it was necessary to keep taking away even more instances of adversity faced by Rhaenyra - why erase her exile, why erase her being passed over as Hand? it does not make the story more interesting, and it makes Rhaenyra's story less compelling.

How much more heart-breaking would it have been to see Rhaenyra begging her dying father to wake up and defend her, if the show had stuck closer to the book version of events? After forcing his daughter into an unwanted marriage with a homosexual man, after exiling her while she was grieving, after passing over her as Hand, after hurting her transition to power, after failing to to bring her home... how much more emotionally satisfying would it then have been to finally see Viserys drag his corpse out of bed to defend Rhaenyra and her sons?

The book version of events would also open up a more interesting relationship dynamic between Rhaenyra and Daemon than "lets fake my husband's death so we can be an unstoppable power couple and rule the world!" If I were adapting it, I would have kept Daemon's possible involvement in Laenor's death ambiguous - uncertain to both the audience and to Rhaenyra. Again, suggest the possibility that it could have been the Greens. Have Rhaenyra, at her lowest and most vulnerable moment, convince herself that she can live with the doubt. Because at this point, with Laena dead, Laenor dead, Harwin dead, and with her father exiling her, Daemon is one of the few allies she has left. A Rhaenyra who chooses to kill an innocent bystander to fake her husband's death is cartoonishly evil. A Rhaenyra who chooses to live with the possibility that her new husband murdered her old husband is interesting.

Meanwhile Alicent goes from victor to victim at Driftmark...

Yes, of course in both book and show her child is the most seriously injured and, again, scarred for life (though in the book it is the result of violently bullying little kids half his age so 🤷‍♀️). But politically, Alicent comes out on top after Driftmark.

See Book Viserys doesn't give Rhaenyra an honour without also giving Alicent one, and vice versa.

King Viserys loved both his wife and daughter, and hated conflict and contention. He strove all his days to keep the peace between his women, and to please both with gifts and gold and honors.

And because Alicent champions the patriarchal status quo (and in the book is an adult battling a child) this 'neutrality' is to Rhaenyra's detriment. So yes, Driftmark sees Viserys publicly forbid anyone from discussing Rhaenyra's sons' parentage - that is a loss for Alicent and a win for Rhaenyra. But Alicent's victories at Driftmark are much more significant - Rhaenys is effectively exiled from court, her rival's influence at court is severely diminished, Otto is brought back as Hand and gets to stack the council with Green supporters. Viserys' weak efforts to stop the fighting and placate everyone ends up favouring Alicent significantly.

In the show, its all 'poor Alicent can't even get her mean husband to cut a 6-year-old's eye out for her and its making her big beautiful brown eyes sad'. The show removes all the consequences Rhaenyra faces at Driftmark, and replaces it with Alicent snapping because 'that spoilt Rhaenyra gets away with everything'. All of Alicent's victories from Driftmark have already happened before Driftmark, and they don't even count because Alicent's big beautiful brown eyes are sad. Rhaenyra has already committed political suicide by voluntarily leaving King's Landing, and Otto is already Hand because Rhaenyra was never in the running.

This is worsened by the fact that the show feels very inconsistent in how it depicts Alicent's position as queen consort. In the book, as stated, Viserys strives to please his wife with gifts and gold and honors, and Alicent is surrounded by a 'Queen's party' of 'lickspittles, fawning over Queen Alicent and her children'. Alicent's worth is apparent in the fact that Viserys throws a huge tourney to celebrate their 5-year-anniversary - Alicent is the centre of attention and celebration. Because this is the 'benevolent' form of misogyny Westeros takes in the books - one that celebrates and reveres wives and mothers like Alicent (while of course not permitting them bodily autonomy) and demonises non-conforming women like Rhaenyra.

In the absence of Alicent's special tourney in the show, we don't get Rhaenyra's iconic dress entrance - instead it is given to Alicent during Rhaenyra's wedding to Laenor. Because this is such an iconic moment for Rhaenyra, the show tries to compensate in episode 3 by having a bloodied Rhaenyra upstage Aegon during his birthday celebrations. Since this is no longer the culmination of years of being bullied by her stepmother, the moment loses quite a bit of its impact (at least the soundtrack is gorgeous). This version also replaces Alicent's special day with Aegon's special day - which depicts a very different world of misogyny. The more complicated benevolent misogyny of the book is replaced with a more basic misogyny in which Alicent is simply ignored and unappreciated.

Which feels like overkill. I don't think this change was necessary to understand Show Alicent as a victim. Personally, if I was pimped out to my friend's dad and suffered through marital rape and unwanted pregnancies with zero bodily autonomy, I wouldn't consider a tourney to be adequate compensation. Alicent can be appreciated and celebrated and still suffer. If anything it could further feed into her self-identification as a martyr.

So the show depicts an underappreciated victim Alicent with her big beautiful sad brown eyes. But episode 6 depicts Alicent as having accumulated a significant amount of power as Queen. The episode establishes that Alicent is powerful enough that she can demand that the Crown Princesses' newborn be taken away from his mother and brought straight to her (in a world of high newborn mortality rates) - and the Crown Princess has to comply. It's implied that this kind of behaviour isn't new, and either Viserys isn't intervening or Rhaenyra is just not telling him for some reason. Meanwhile Alicent can shut down a proposal by the Crown Princess that the King is in favour of, overturn the Crown Princess at council meetings, and seems to be the final voice at the council meeting. Not to mention she has made Criston Cole so untouchable that he can murder vassals of House Velaryon, publicly bully Prince Jacaerys, and openly speculate on the sex life of the Crown Princess (and it is Harwin who gets punished???).

But one episode later and Alicent is snapping in despair because Viserys won't cut out a 6-year-old's eye for her. And the subtext of the scene is that it isn't really about the eye, it's about a marriage where she has gone underappreciated and unrecognised, and Viserys always chooses Rhaenyra over her and his other children, and big brown eyes are sad... All ignoring of course everything that she gets away with in the previous episode. Really, it feels like Driftmark is a last straw for Viserys - he's been essentially letting her run things so far but he draws the line at cutting his grandson's eye out.

And I would be willing to accept this inconsistency as purposeful - people are inconsistent and hypocritical, and Alicent self-righteously views herself as a martyr. And there is a tendency for critics to mistake in-character inconsistency for inconsistent characterisation and bad writing, and I do see this tendency a fair bit in discussions of Alicent (some instances being more valid than others). However I get the impression that this is not a purposeful in-character inconsistency, or at the very least there were competing visions behind the scenes. And this is because of the victimised way Alicent and her big beautiful sad brown eyes are framed - and because of the way the events at Driftmark are also shifted around.

Firstly the dynamics are changed between the children to make Aemond more sympathetic. The age gap between him and Jace is narrowed and Baela and Rhaena are added to the fight - making it a fight of 1 against 4 kids who are close in age. Meanwhile in the book, Aemond is 10 and starts the fight by hitting a 3-year-old Joffrey for making noise. A 6 and 5-year-old Jace and Luke then come running to defend their little brother against a much older and bigger bully - who easily beats them up.

Joffrey had run to get his brothers when Aemond took to the sky, and both Jace and Luke had come to his call. The Velaryon princelings were younger than Aemond—Jace was six, Luke five, Joff only three—but there were three of them, and they had armed themselves with wooden swords from the training yard. Now they fell on him with a fury. Aemond fought back, breaking Luke’s nose with a punch, then wrenching the sword from Joff’s hands and cracking it across the back of Jace’s head, driving him to his knees. As the younger boys scrambled back away from him, bloody and bruised, the prince began to mock them, laughing and calling them “the Strongs.” Jace at least was old enough to grasp the insult. He flew at Aemond once again, but the older boy began pummeling him savagely…until Luke, coming to the rescue of his brother, drew his dagger and slashed Aemond across the face, taking out his right eye.

Jace's injuries are much much worse in the book, and he is much much younger and braver. I mean, it takes balls for a 6-year-old to go up against a 10-year-old - and a 10-year-old with a giant fucking dragon at that.

And then there is 'questioned sharply':

Afterward, King Viserys tried to make a peace, requiring each of the boys to tender an apology to his rivals on the other side, but these courtesies did not appease their vengeful mothers. Queen Alicent demanded that one of Lucerys Velaryon’s eyes should be put out, for the eye he had cost Aemond. Princess Rhaenyra would have none of that, but insisted that Prince Aemond should be questioned “sharply” until he revealed where he had heard her sons called “Strongs.” To so name them was tantamount to saying they were bastards, with no rights of succession…and that she herself was guilty of high treason. When pressed by the king, Prince Aemond said it was his brother Aegon who had told him they were Strongs, and Prince Aegon said only, “Everyone knows. Just look at them.”

The order is reversed. In the book Alicent is the first to demand violence against a child - in the show it is Rhaenyra. Now I argue that Rhaenyra's demand was more toothless - in both book and show it was more about backing Alicent into a corner to get her to admit to plotting a coup. But In the book, both mothers at least had an understandable context behind their shitty demands - Alicent's son had just lost an eye, and Rhaenyra was responding to a violent threat to her son (plus, Aemond had just savagely pummelled Jace). Since Alicent is publicly demanding violence against a 5-year-old, now is a good time for Rhaenyra to ask 'hey, I wonder who taught Aemond my sons are bastards, hmm Alicent?'

But in the show, Rhaenyra is the one made into the aggressor, and Alicent is now the victim reacting defensively. Rhaenyra just opens with wanting to question Aemond sharply, right while Aemond is in the middle of getting his eye stitched up. In the book, the argument between the mothers comes after the boys have been made to apologise to each other, which implies that at this point Aemond has at least already received medical attention. But in the show, Viserys immediately goes along with Rhaenyra making her sons' parentage the more pressing priority - all so the scene can escalate towards Alicent losing it and demanding Luke's eye. The scene is more dramatic and nonsensical as a result - it is bewildering that this is the order of priority and this primes the audience to sympathise with Alicent here. Viserys is shouting at his injured son and Alicent's big brown eyes are sad. And Rhaenyra is temporarily characterised as the sort of person to demand her brother be tortured - as the aggressor rather than in a reaction to a threat - for the Doylist purpose of a more dramatic escalation towards Alicent picking up the knife.

Now Viserys making the question of his grandson's legitimacy a priority could make sense in the show's version of events - if there is a potential coup it does have to be shut down immediately. The consequences for his children and grandchildren are after all life-threatening. And to be fair to him, his first impulse (while Aemond is receiving medical attention) is to ask the children how the fight started, which is reasonable enough, and the episode has already established that he's not in complete control of his mental faculties.

But emotionally, we the viewer are watching an injured kid get yelled at by his dad while Alicent's big beautiful brown eyes are sad. And not only are the events around Driftmark changed to remove the adversity Rhaenyra faces, but the events at Driftmark are changed to add to Alicent's victimhood. She is no longer the aggressor, she is depicted as undervalued, and her victories at Driftmark are erased.

And by episode 9 it seems Alicent is so powerless as Queen Consort that she has to let Larys masturbate over her feet. And episode 8 makes out that she's been acting as nurse maid to Viserys, instead of Viserys having servants to look after him (though we did see Alicent voluntarily sending these servants away back in episode 3 - did she send them away permanently? Were there spending cutbacks on staff to make way for the redecorating?)

But in episode 8 Alicent also appears to be running the kingdom, and has the power to decide on the succession of Driftmark. Alicent even tells Rhaenyra that she will be the one sitting in judgement while Viserys is ill - not Otto, the King's Hand, but Alicent. How is this consistent with Alicent being undervalued and underappreciated, if she is given this power and responsibility? How is she so powerless that Larys gets to masturbate over her feet?

From these inconsistencies, TG draws the following picture: underappreciated Alicent is busy running the kingdom, while spoiled Rhaenyra is off 'playing house' with Daemon and avoiding her responsibilities. Poor Alicent is depicted as doing all the work while Rhaenyra is off having fun, instead of Rhaenyra being effectively exiled against her wishes to placate Alicent. It's almost as insulting as the change to Rhaenyra and Criston - instead of Criston (who is exactly the same age as Rhaenyra's mother, by the way) grooming Rhaenyra from the age of 7, he is the one presented as Rhaenyra's victim by TG (like poor friendzoned Jorah).

Alicent's victories are presented as unappreciated sacrifices and burdens, and Rhaenyra's losses and adversities are presented as her idiotically skiving to live in domestic bliss.

And the problem to me isn't simply that there were changes made, or that I wish Alicent was a more one-note antagonist etc. Though I would have preferred a more book-accurate adaption, I was initially cautiously on board for the changes in the first half of the season. They at least seemed interesting, and I was intrigued to see where this high-budget fanfiction would go. But the show goes too far in taking sympathy and depth away from Rhaenyra to shower it on Alicent - the accumulation of changes tips it over the edge. There had to be a better balance than what the show gave us, one where we could root for Rhaenyra as she struggles in the face of adversity (making the eventual dark path she goes down all the more tragic). The sympathetic version of Alicent that the show gives us simply does not demand taking so much away from Rhaenyra.

The one scene in the second half of the show where we get to see how adult Rhaenyra deals with adversity is her introductory scene. She responds to Alicent's demands by walking bleeding up a flight of stairs rather than let go of her newborn. And this is where my frustration lies with the show, because it has so much potential and yet it is so inconsistent. On the one hand, it's ridiculous that Rhaenyra doesn't just ignore Alicent. But on the other, it's a decent way to compensate for the change to Rhaenyra's childhood. Since we no longer have young Rhaenyra getting bullied by her stepmother, we needed this big moment of cruelty. And it shows just how much Rhaenyra will fight for her children.

And yet the same episode will have her voluntarily abandon King's Landing (and far far too early - there is a point in F&B where a considerably more broken Rhaenyra faces a similar choice, and we are nowhere near that point yet). Rhaenyra ditches because she's been, in her words, humiliated. This would be salvageable if this was simply a case of Rhaenyra deciding not to put up with Alicent's shit and establishing herself from a seat of strength at Dragonstone. But staying away? Being absent from court for years? Episode 8 even establishes that Dragonstone is so close that they don't even need to stay the night when they visit King's Landing! This woman walked bleeding up a flight of stairs rather than let go of her newborn baby, and now she's just relinquishing all influence at court to the greens? This isn't consistent or accurate characterisation.

Rhaenyra already has plenty of canon flaws, without adding that she voluntarily leaves and stays away from King's Landing and her dying father. Even when ordered to move her family to Dragonstone, Rhaenyra in the book always tried to come home. She brought Maester Gerardys to save her father's life. She at least tried to influence the council by nominating her choice of Archmaester. She doesn't just roll over and let the Greens tilt the council in their favour without a fight.

Though Grand Maester Mellos washed the cut out with boiled wine and bound up the hand with strips of linen soaked in healing ointments, fever soon followed, and many feared the king might die. Only the arrival of Princess Rhaenyra from Dragonstone turned the tide, for with her came her own healer, Maester Gerardys, who acted swiftly to remove two fingers from His Grace’s hand to save his life.

Princess Rhaenyra wanted Maester Gerardys, who had long served her on Dragonstone, elevated to replace Mellos; it was only his healing skills that had saved the king’s life when Viserys cut his hand on the throne, she claimed. Queen Alicent, however, insisted that the princess and her maester had mutilated His Grace unnecessarily. Had they not “meddled,” she claimed, Grand Maester Mellos would surely have saved the king’s fingers as well as his life. She urged the appointment of one Maester Alfador, presently in service at the Hightower. Viserys, beset from both sides, chose neither, reminding both the princess and the queen that the choice was not his to make. The Citadel of Oldtown* chose the Grand Maester, not the Crown. In due time, the Conclave bestowed the chain of office upon Archmaester Orwyle, one of their own.

*the seat of the Hightowers - great attempt at neutrality there Vizzy

With King's Landing so close to Dragonstone, there is no way Rhaenyra didn't do what she could to mitigate the damage of her absence. The fact that she is noted as being in the confinement stages of her pregnancy during the coup, and that this is considered serendipitous, suggests to me that Rhaenyra otherwise would have tried to attend court as much as possible:

With the princess in confinement on Dragonstone, about to give birth, Queen Alicent’s greens enjoyed an advantage; the longer Rhaenyra remained ignorant of the king’s death, the slower she would be to move. “Mayhaps the whore will die in childbirth,” Queen Alicent is reported to have said (according to Mushroom).

If the draft script leak is true, the show initially had Rhaenyra explicitly say that she abandoned King's Landing to strengthen her claim, which is both nonsensical and adds to my belief that the show didn't fully understand that they were taking the fight out of Rhaenyra by having her voluntarily leave and stay away. Or maybe they did understand it, seeing as they replaced this statement with the more vague 'wise sailor' line, with Rhaenyra's theme music playing triumphantly to trick us into thinking they weren't assassinating her character.

I've seen essays by fans of the show that have tried to argue that Rhaenyra leaving and staying away is actually a compelling character flaw, spinning it as either the inadvertent self-sabotaging actions of an overprotective mother, or an entitled antagonist who wants the throne without working for it. The latter is character assassination and inconsistent with the rest of her characterisation. The former is also inconsistent, and for it to work it would necessitate that the show spend more time actually fleshing out her children and her relationships with them. These inconsistencies, and the half-hearted way the show tries to rationalise her decision, leads me to the unfortunate conclusion that the show is simply less clever and more inconsistent in quality than it had the potential to be. Which is all the more infuriating in a show that has potential - it can be very capable of writing compelling characters when it wants to, it just rarely does when it comes to Rhaenyra and her children.

Ultimately, a character who fights as much as they can is always going to be more compelling than one who rolls over. Is anyone honestly looking at, say, Sansa in the early seasons of Game of Thrones and thinking "hmm yes I'm glad they got rid of Sansa sneaking out to the Godswood to plot her escape, tricking Tyrion into thinking she was just praying, refusing to kneel during her forced marriage and learning valuable lessons from being used as a political pawn by the Tyrells. It's so much more compelling watching Sansa spend her time getting petted by Shae, Margaery and Tyrion, not knowing what sheep shit is, and getting passively whisked off by Dontos in a surprise rescue".

Rhaenyra has had to fight ever since she was named heir aged 8, ever since her stepmother started bullying her as a child. That fight is an indispensable part of her character - whatever other changes you may make, taking away her fight is not on the table. And above all, taking away the adversity she faces removes opportunities for her to be interesting.

[stvharrngton]

three or four times

a/n: my weaknesses are titles and endings so I apologise if they are horrible ghsjdjdj. the more I read this the more I dislike it but I just couldn’t leave it unfinished

pairing: steve harrington x henderson!fem reader

word count: 2.2k

warnings: enemies to lovers sorta, a little angsty, swearing, steve pining asf

prompt: “last time i checked, you guys were at each others' throats. how come you're sending heart eyes every time you see her now?"

requests are open!

The first time Steve thought you were pretty was in high school. You a year younger, leaning against your locker books held close to your chest, talking to another girl from your year - someone from Steve’s history class he was sure.

The way the pink skirt you wore hugged your waist, teased at your thighs, the clean frilly white socks a stark contrast to your dirty Converse. You giggled with your friend as you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. Steve was gone right there and then, your laugh intoxicating - the way your lips reached your cheeks sending a pang right to his heart.

I’m in love, Steve thought.

He sauntered past you and your friend - Rachel, maybe? Nah. A smirk plastered on his face, his hand raised so he could wiggle his fingers at you in greeting, his left eye closing in a wink. Tommy H and his friends hollering in a trail after him, clasping him on the shoulder.

I hate Steve Harrington, you thought. And his dickbag friends.

The second time Steve thought you were pretty was during the fall of 1984. Your younger brother having claimed Steve as his sidekick for whatever problem he was trying to solve. You rolled your eyes at the notion of Dustin being involved with Steve, claiming he was an asshole.

But as you ended up with your brother, Max and Lucas and unfortunately, Steve, at the junkyard trapped in the broken down bus your irritation subsided for fear. You shielded the kids behind you whilst you watched Steve cling onto his studded bat - ready to swing.

Once the Demodogs had scampered off and the coast was clear, he turned to you and the kids. All charming smile and smugness complete with that damn wink again. You rolled your eyes at the gesture.

“Knock it off, Harrington,” you scoffed, “let’s go.”

Arms crossing over your chest hugging yourself as you all began the long walk home, attempting to provide a slither of comfort to your cold body. Eyes trained on Lucas and Max bickering in front of you, Steve and Dustin lingering behind you. 

Steve couldn’t stop staring. Granted, it was dark and he was staring at the back of your head but his eyes were glued to your figure. When you turned your head to check on Dustin he caught a glimpse of your face.

Cheeks pink and the tip of your nose tinted red, eyes glassy and your hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, two curly strands framing either side of your face. Steve’s brow furrowing at the thought of you being cold; wanting to wrap you up in the biggest blanket he owned. You were cute, Steve thought. So very cute.

When you finally made it back to your house, you sped up to your front door ready to be greeted by the warmth of the inside, Dustin held Steve back - his arm falling back against his stomach to stop him.

A glance at you before he turned to the older boy next to him, “What’s going on with you?” Dustin whispered.

“What?” his eyes fell over to you, watching you dig in your pockets for your key, “What are you talkin’ about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me! I’ve seen you ogling her all day!”

Steve scoffed, “Your sister? Henderson I-“

“You’ve been making googly eyes at her all day, Steve! Whatever this is,” Dustin mocked, fingers drawing imaginary lines between you and Steve, “stop it. She’s off limits.”

Finally fishing the key from your jacket pocket, you turned it in the lock, your brows joining together at the sight of Steve and Dustin having some sort of agitated conversation, “Dustin! Move your ass, come on.” you whisper-shouted into the night.

“Coming!” Dustin called out to you, rushing his way over to your house, not before he turned back to Steve, “Off. Limits.” he stated, gesturing back to you.

Steve could only hold his hands up in defeat, waving you both inside your house before beginning the walk down the street to his own. It was then that Steve Harrington forced himself to hate you for the sake of your meddling little brother.

The third time Steve thought you were pretty was the beginning of summer ‘85. The thick Indiana air hot and sticky, all busy days at the local pool and cherry slushies. Steve managed to get a job at the new Starcourt mall - Scoops Ahoy ice cream parlour complete with the uniform of a sailor.

Unfortunately for Steve that job came with a co-worker, that co-worker being your best friend, Robin. Making your appearances at Scoops reoccurring and making Steve’s situation ten times harder than it already was.

As if on cue, you sauntered into the ice cream shop making a beeline for the counter and Steve couldn’t help but stare, cloth wiping the counter in circular motion on automatic. You looked pretty, so pretty, no, beautiful actually. High-waisted denim shorts pulled in at your waist with a cute red belt, tight black t-shirt donning the logo of the clothing store you worked at hugging your chest, finished with your red-rimmed sunglasses in the shape of hearts perched on top of your head, freckles sprayed across your face.

Your soft pudgy thighs on show for everyone to see and it drove him crazy, you did it on purpose, he swore. You dinged the bell on the counter obnoxiously, snapping the boy back to reality.

Steve scrambled to look natural, like he wasn’t so obviously staring at you.

“Nice get up, Harrington.” you teased, an outstretched finger pointing to his outfit.

He rolled his eyes at you, “Can I suggest you get some new jokes?” scooper in hand, ready, “The usual, Henderson?”

“And can I suggest you become less of an asshole?” you said, “but yes, please.”

The boy scoffed at you, “Sure, anything for you.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes now, slapping your dollar bills down on the counter and snatching the small cup of mint choc chip from Steve. 

“You’re welcome!” he shouted after you as you went to sit at your usual booth to wait for Robin. You didn’t mean to be such a brat but you couldn’t help it; Steve just irritated you. It’s not like you didn’t want to get along with him, but he was just unnecessarily mean lately so you gave it back as good as you got.

Storming through to the back Steve slumped into one of the chairs in the break room, hards carding through his hair in pure frustration. He sighed, calling out to his co-worker, “Robin! That piece of work you call a best friend is out there waiting for you!”

“Have you tried, I don't know, actually talking to her instead of bickering all the time?” Robin pondered, “I think you would actually get along great.” A scowl her only response.

Robin left Steve in the break room wondering if there was any chance that you felt the same and why the hell he was letting your little brother control his love life.

Present day and Steve was head over heels, he was convinced.

You could only grimace when Dustin invited you over to Steve’s place - an afternoon by the pool in his backyard where he would be shirtless? Awful, you thought. But your brother insisted he needed a ride and that Robin would be there and so you reluctantly agreed. 

Steve could only gawp when you arrived, Dustin in tow. Tiny shorts that barely covered your ass, red strap of your bikini top peaking beneath your shirt as it hung off your shoulder. 

Sweet brown eyes trained on you all day from behind his signature black RayBans, Steve was sure if anyone could see his pupils they would be blown, full of affection for someone he could never have. A soft smile plastered all over his face as he watched you giggle with your brother and his friends, as you lathered yourself in suncream, kicking himself when he didn’t offer to help when you couldn’t quite reach your back.

Steve sat at the edge of the pool, long legs dangling in the cool of the water. Palms pressed into the flat of the grass, head back letting the sun kiss all of his moles and freckles in the way he wished you would. A nudge to his knee brought his gaze back down to the culprit.

“Last time I checked, you guys were at each others’ throats. How come you’re sending heart eyes every time you see her now?” Robin questioned, eyes looking up at Steve before glancing back at you on the sun lounger.

Fuck. He tried not to be obvious, thought the sunglasses would shield his eyes from everyone else. That they would hide the way his gaze lingered a little too long on the cherry red bikini you wore, how the barely there ties were high on your hips, how you looked so damn pretty.

“I literally have no idea what you’re talkin’ about, Robin.” 

Robin simply chuckled at the boy, “Sure, Stevie. Do you like her?”

A sigh, a shrug. Steve really couldn’t be bothered to have this conversation with his co-worker turned best friend right now. Especially when you were here looking like that by his pool.

As the afternoon turned into evening, the energy of the group simmered down a little. The kids moving inside to devour and pick at the pizza and snacks provided. Steve watched you from his kitchen - beer in hand as your feet curled into the grass beneath. A shit mumbled from his lips, he made his way outside to you, sitting on the lounger next to yours.

“Hey,” he whispered, “how come you’re outside by yourself?”

Never looking at him, you shrugged, “I like the quiet.”

Steve watched through his lashes as you sipped your beer, lips turned down, no sparkle in your eyes. You looked sad. All he could muster was a nod in reply.

Your tongue clicked against your teeth, you turned to Steve now, “Why do you hate me, Steve?” you paused, eyes glassy as they bore into his dark brown ones.

His brows furrowed together at your question, “Hate you? I don’t hate you, what makes you say that?” he feigned ignorance.

You shrugged, the label on your beer bottle becoming more interesting. “Dunno, I just- you’re so mean sometimes.”

Steve’s heart shattered into pieces, he was sure, like you reached right into his chest and stomped all over it. If only you knew how he really felt.

“I don't-” he stammered, looking for some sort of reason to give you, like you had just caught him in headlights, “I can’t, you just have to believe me, sweetheart. I don’t want to be mean.” 

The endearing term all but stopped you in your tracks. You sniffled, bleary eyes narrowing questioning what he was saying, “What do you mean?”

Shit. Shit, shit, fuck. Well, it was now or never, Steve thought.

“It was Dustin.” Steve hushed, like he almost didn’t want to nark on your little brother. Like he didn’t want to admit he let a 14 year old have a say in his love life.

“Dustin?!” you screeched, “What do you mean, Dustin?” Arms flailing into your lap.

“I- he said you were off limits, that I couldn’t, that we couldn't..” he trailed off, “so I thought it might be easier this way, I wouldn’t fall hopelessly in love but I was so wrong.”

“Steve,” you whined, “why on Earth would you listen to that little shithead?”

The boy chuckled, fingers tugging at his brown locks, shrugging, “He was just trying to protect you, I kinda admired it.” he paused, contemplating what to say next, “And I don’t exactly have the best track record,” his gaze flicked down to the ground now, “I know you thought I was an asshole in high school.”

You rolled your eyes now, “That was high school, Steve. It’s not like you’re the King of Hawkins High anymore, right?” you said, hopeful.

A breathy laugh left his lips as he nodded, his eye trained on you as he watched you stand and sit yourself next to him on the lounger. Knees knocking and shoulders brushing.

“Did you mean it?” you asked.

“Hm?” he looked up at you with confusion.

“What you said,” a smile toying on your lips, eyelashes fluttering up at the boy, “that you were hopelessly in love with me?”

A blush crept across his cheeks, heat prickling the back of his neck but he grinned at you nonetheless, “Yeah, yeah I did.”

Steve laced his fingers with your own then, the foreign feeling welcome and comforting. A touch that said I'm here and I'll take whatever you're willing to give me. Steve’s gaze fell to your lips, plump and inviting, before climbing back to your eyes. 

You shifted next to him, your free hand came to sit on top of his thigh as you inched ever closer. Then Steve’s lips were on yours. It was soft and slow, the dim taste of warm beer and his strawberry chapstick crowding your senses. You sighed into the kiss, Steve licking into you all pretty, like he had been wanting to do this for a long, long time.

His hand came to cup your cheek, thumb soothing the pink of your sunburn as you broke the kiss. Chest heaving and Steve's forehead resting against your own. Eyes dreamy and thick with honey, nothing but pure adoration washing over his features.

You both burst into a fit of giggles, eyes lighting up like the stars in the night sky. Giddy and full of excitement.

“Good to know.” 

[pretty-little-mind33]

James Potter x ex!fem!reader

Summary: James was and would never be yours.

Genre: Blurb (kinda short), angsty, (no happy ending - I'm sorry…)

Warnings: swearing, no happy, just sad, implied infidelity? James was an asshole and he is stupid <3

JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST

"You aren't allowed to be jealous!" You tear the necklace from your neck, the chain snapping, and forcefully hand it to him, "You did this to us. I fucking hate you."

Those were the last words you said to him when you'd broken up with him in your last year of school. When you'd returned (and broken) the promise necklace he'd gifted you.

You'd meant them too. You hated him. You hated him because of how much you loved him and because he'd broken your heart worse than any other boy ever would. Still, even when years had passed, you could remember the day James Potter lost you so clearly in your mind.

You could remember him so clearly.

"James?" You whisper, your arms full of the books you want to buy.

The man at the counter looks up. His messy dark hair falls over his forehead and when he sees you his eyes widen. James is up on his feet instantly, "Y/n!" He looks you over quickly, his cheeks blushed just as pretty as they always were in school, "Y-you cut your hair!"

With a small smile, you place the books onto the counter and subconsciously run a hand in your hair, "Yeah well, it has been a while since you've last seen me. How've you been?"

James looks around the bookstore. It's just you and him. You take the time he's not looking to look at him more closely. He hasn't changed much but he's clearly not a boy anymore.

"I've been okay. This is Remus's bookstore actually. He just stepped out a moment I'm surprised you didn't see him on your way in. I can help you with these, if you want?" You smile and push the books out to him.

When your pinkies accidentally touch, you pull your hand away. You look at his hand and the band around his finger, "Oh, you're married." You say. James blushes and looks up. He looks like he's about to speak but you interrupt him and show him your hand, "So am I."

James's expression is so familiarly unreadable, "Oh. That's nice," There is a tenseness in his voice, "So, do you have any children?"

"Not yet, you?"

"One. A son. Harry." James pauses and you can see him debate with himself a moment, "He's at home with Lily."

Your expression falls and you look at him. You want to believe he's joking but he clearly isn't. "You're married to Lily?" You croak out as all the feelings you'd once felt concerning him and Lily bubble up. She was the reason you'd broken up with him. She was the one you weren't supposed to worry about.

They hadn't been dating when you'd last heard about them, but now they're married? And with a kid?

James looks into your eyes and, while he nods, he wants to tell you sometimes (most times) he still wishes it was you. Only, he doesn't and instead smiles while you pay for your books in silence. He forces himself not to ask who your husband is. He really doesn't want to know.

You look at him and your chest tightens. You mumble a small goodbye and make your way to the door. Your hand barely reaches the handle before you turn around again,

"You know, when we were young, I always imagined it would be us. Married with a kid." You say in a whisper, smiling faintly, "Life is funny like that, huh?"

James doesn't know how to answer you so he watches you leave, just like he'd done four years earlier.

You're all he thinks of when he comes home that evening. Your smile is all he can think of when he kisses Lily's cheek and presses a kiss to baby Harry's forehead. And, when he lays awake at night, his wife's head resting on his chest, all he sees is you and it finally sinks in how foolish he's been.

Only, what can he do now? All he can do is stare at the ceiling in a house that doesn't even feel like his own anymore, and think of the necklace he still keeps in the back pocket of his favorite pants, hidden in the very last drawer of his armoire. James had fixed it years ago, he just never had the chance to return it to you.

Now, he never will.