#But that's a whole ass essay to explain now.

[certifiablyinsanez]

Mammon is great ace representation: an essay on aphobia in the Hellaverse fandom

I’m seeing a lot of people be mad about Mammon having a thing for Leviathan. And I’m going to need the fandom to step back and examine these issues, because they are 100% rooted in aphobia. I have been out as an oriented aroace person for over 10 years if you want to doubt my credentials, rather than listen to my analysis, lived experience and reflect.

So. Tell me Hellaverse fandom; why, when it comes to Alastor, who is a character who very clearly has zero interest in others, it is always a chorus of people saying “aces can have sex”, “aces can enjoy sex”, “it’s not harmful to the ace community to use Alastor for shipping material, he isn’t real and asexuality and aromanticism is a huge spectrum”, “Aroace people can still date and have sex”?

But when it comes to Mammon, he is “bad asexual representation”, he “clearly experiences sexual attraction”, “he can’t be demisexual”, etc.

No genuinely, why is this? I want you to examine this, think on it from a place of neutral examination and come to your own conclusions. Because this is a worrisome double standard. This can for starters, be an instance of fat phobia. Because out of the two of them, Alastor is thin, and therefore closer to the beauty standard, which is hysterical considering that Alastor canonically has horrible hygiene, and I don’t think I know a single person who thinks that stank ass body and breath is attractive. Mammon, as seen from the slovenly way he eats, can potentially be assumed to have poor hygiene as well, but it has a very different connotation because of his weight. [Research the connection between thin privilege and body odor/hygiene. It’s very real].

I can spend a lot of time and energy going into the shipping dynamics between the shows, as well as how Alastor is a more “shippable” character in comparison to Mammon, but I honestly don’t find this as interesting or as compelling as to what I’m about to say next.

Because aphobia in the real world is still very alive and well today. In my 10+ years of being in the ace community, I have genuinely spent a lot of emotional energy, time, knowledge, experience, and compassion, just fighting for the right to even be acknowledged as queer. I have vivid memories from when I was first out of the closet at the age of 16, telling ace people across apps and forums that they were valid, that they weren’t broken, that they were deserving of love, respect, and a place in the queer community. I was telling people, younger, my age, and older that they shouldn’t kill themselves, that they had worth beyond what they could do in the bedroom for others. I had to convince people that they didn’t owe anyone sex, and that they were in fact being sexually abused by their partners. I was on the phone with people in tears. I spent HOURS of my life in these DMs at an age where I was a suffering, mentally ill queer child that was also being victimized by aphobia. Still to this day people think the “A” stands for ally. And still to this day people have discord about our community as a whole. I have had to sit and watch as people went from loudly proclaiming with their whole chest that asexual people didn’t exist, or at the very least weren’t queer. Then years went by and it became less and less okay to say things like that, because asexual people finally had fought long enough and had supported each other enough that we discovered our voices and began to use them. So people were finally facing the consequences of saying bigoted shit.

And now that they can’t say that asexuals aren’t queer, they moved on to another group. Demisexuals. Demisexuals by far have it roughest, because while there are many micro labels in our community to explain our diverse range of experiences, demisexual is probably the most well known one. And every handful of months or so I have to use my voice once again to stand up for my people, because an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us, and people on the internet have made it clear that they have no qualms of attacking us. The asexual and aromantic community have made extremely valuable contributions to the queer community that are entirely overlooked because we are not valued in it.

And this is why I have been an outspoken proponent of my displeasure over Alastor being a character that is the most shipped with others, and my disdain for the fanbase has grown even wider after Mammons appearance in Mastermind. It is a painful reminder of all the discrimination I’ve faced over the years, that my community still goes through. Because people are contrarians. Alastor is canonically asexual, and other aspects of his character are reflective of aromanticism as well. Well, the fanbase doesn’t like this so much. If you genuinely pay attention, you’ll notice this is a trend with a lot of other aroace characters. My favorite example is Peridot from Steven Universe, a canonical aroace character. In the show, Peridot goes through a lot of unlearning and growth. The scene where she tries to fuse with Garnet has massive implications for a few reasons. Because one, she is genuine in her desire to understand Garnet, and fusion better. And two, fusion while forbidden on Homeworld, is commonplace and normal in the Crystal Gems. As a Crystal Gem, she feels this is what is now expected of her. This is a major experience in the aspec community, as living in a cis heteronormative society means that sex, marriage and children are all things expected of each individual, which is dangerous and harmful ideology to everyone, asexual/aromantic people as well. Peridot couldn’t go through with the fusion, but that didn’t stop the fandom salivating, and foaming at the mouth over a potential Lapis/Peridot fusion. People were genuinely mad at Rebecca Sugar for never making that pairing canon, when they had absolutely no right to behave the way they did. Let’s not forget how the fans also misgendered Rebecca Sugar constantly. It was absolutely bigoted.

This is happening with Alastor. Fans feel entitled to ship him with whomever, an entitlement that is not seen with other characters. When people ship Vaggie with Angel, there is backlash, and for good reason. Because people understand that despite the fact that Vivienne Medrano said people can ship whatever, shipping a gay man with a woman and a gay woman with a man is…gross. It is wrong, it is disrespectful of their identities, and is forcing heteronormativity onto characters that are strict in their sexualities. Most people are able to recognize the thinly veiled homophobia. But Alastor does not receive the same treatment, and in fact receives the opposite treatment. I don’t know what I could say to convince you that the aroace coded character in a show being the #1 most shipped is thinly veiled aphobia the same way Vaggie x Angel is thinly veiled homophobia.

Now what does that have to do with Mammon? Mammon seems to not be aroace coded like Alastor, and for some reason, that has thoroughly pissed people off. Because Mammon is not the “acceptable” caricature of an asexual person. Most allosexual (non-asexual and/or aromantic people) view being asexual as being synonymous with being aromantic, which shows a painful lack of understanding and at times respect for the diversity of our community. Alastor fits this category, so he’s an “acceptable asexual”, while also essentially being a toy for shippers. But Mammon, with his clear attraction to Leviathan, is a “bastardization” of the asexual image. When we aren’t being viewed as broken, we’re often being viewed as chaste, virginal, and innocent with attachments to infantilization. But Mammon, with his aggressive and even icky approach to flirting with Leviathan, is seen as a subversion of this, which for people who don’t understand our community, hate. And these people are blaming Vivienne for having “terrible ace rep” when in actuality, having multiple ace characters having very little in common is actually fantastic rep. Because there are many labels in our community that Mammon can fit into as an asexual. To me, he looks like a sex-positive, high libido, demisexual. He’s known Leviathan for thousands of years, of course it makes sense that he would be into her, but not into anyone else which would explain why his “posse” are just female robots. This could also be because of his classism, but I genuinely think that he’s just demisexual. And you already know how people feel about demisexuals.

If you’ve read this far and have genuinely set aside your biases and personal feelings like I requested in the beginning, I appreciate that. Because from my own lived experience, the double standard between Alastor and Mammon doesn’t annoy me; it frightens me.

Because what the fandom is actually saying when they do these things is this:

“We see you as a homogenous group. Your voices go in one ear and out the other. If you don’t conform to our values and standards, we won’t give you the respect or recognition you deserve. If you don’t conform to my view of your group, you lose my “allyship”. We do not see your identity as a sexuality in its own right, but rather a literary device we can play with. I do not care to learn more about your community, your culture, or your struggles. I barely (if at all) acknowledge you as your own sexual minority and marginalized group. I barely acknowledge (if at all) that you are queer at all. I do not care about your feelings about societal biases that I might carry, I don’t care about how you’ve lived it, because it takes away my fun and fantasies. Because I devalue your group as a whole, your voices mean little. Your narrative is mine to do with as I please.”

I really hope you can see my perspective and understand the sincere place this comes from. Thanks for reading.

[thegodthief]

They said they were sent to vex me, but all they could do was talk shit and even that was useless.

"If you're strong enough, you can take me from them."

"And do what? Send you back in revenge?"

"Sealing me into a rock would do better for me than anything they can do. I know I can't hurt you. I do not want to suffer but I can't escape."

"Try. Do what you can against them. If still you are helpless to them, return to me and I will claim you as a bounty of war. But try first."

The spirit left me and I consulted with my krew. If the spirit returned, I would be ready.

Later in the night, the spirit did return, looking worse for wear. "I cannot resist them. I have come to vex you, to prick you, to bite at you until you flee or I am used up. There is no way back for me."

"Dare you to strike at me?"

"I dare." They reached out with a scaly hand to grab at me. While their attempt was in earnest, their power was so weak that I did not have to adjust myself. They scratched my arm and nothing more.

"You attacked me. How dare. For that, I claim you as mine!"

It's been a while since I brought all of myself to bear against a foe. For a moment, I was worried that I was overdoing it and would destroy the spirit. In my fullness I could see the bonds of my enemy on the spirit as a collar. With one hand I seized the spirit's hand that struck me. With the other I ripped the collar off their neck.

I summoned the tools and marks of my power and sealed the spirit as bound to me. I did not rely on just one like my enemy did. I bound the spirit's wrists, ankles, and neck with three different types of seals.

And then, to ensure that I would not be bothered the rest of the night, I created a vessel to imprison them in until I had more thoughts about what to do. As I sealed the vessel, I felt the spirit's gratitude through my marks.

I gave the spirit a new name, but will write of them as "Caliban" in any public writing. I placed the sealed and insert vessel away and prepared to face the dawn, and with it, wakefulness.

[txttletale]

can you explain family abolition in a few words?

sure. there is no one unitary 'family abolitionist' perspective so be aware that i'm explaining this as a marxist and not as an anarchist or a radical feminist.

basically, "the family" is a social construct rather than a fixed self-evident truth. the family has been created and can be shaped, altered, or--indeed--abolished. this is evinced by the broad anthropological and historical record of radical transformations in what constitutes 'the family' (cf. clans, the extended family, the nuclear family). viewing the family as such opens it up to critique and also to the concept that it could be replaced with something better (in much the same way that, for communist and anarchist, refusing to accept the timelessness / naturalization of the bourgeois state opens up new horizons of political thought outside of engagement with electoral politics.)

among these critiques of the family are:

that it is a tool of patriarchal control over women and children by creating an economic dependence upon spouses / parents

ergo, that it enables and causes 'abuse' -- that child abuse, spousal abuse, and intimate partner violence are not abberations of 'the family' but in fact a natural consequence of its base premises re: power and control

that it serves as a site of invisiblised economic labour (e.g. housework)

that it is a tool of the capitalist (formerly the feudal) economy's reproduction of inequality via e.g. inheritance laws

that it serves as a site of normalization and reproduction of hegemonic ideology--i.e. that it is the site where heteronormativity, cisnormativity, gender roles, class positionality, & more are ingrained in children

among solutions family abolitionists propose to remedy it are:

the total dissolution of any legal privilege conferred by romantic or blood relationship in favour of total freedom for any group of people to form a household and cohabitate

the recognition of housework, the work of childrearing, & the general tasks of social reproduction as 'real' labour to be distributed fairly and not according to formal or informal (feminized) hierarchies

the economic and legal freedom of children--(i.e., allowing children unconditional access to food and shelter outside 'the family', allowing children the legal right to informed consent and self-determination)

similarly, the emancipation of women from economic dependence on their partners--both of these can only really be achieved via socialism (as marx put it, 'women in the workplace' only trade patriarchal dependence upon a husband for patriarchal dependence upon an employer)

communal caretaking of children, the sick, & the elderly

yeah. i know. this is a lot of words. its not few words. sorry. it's a complex topic innit. this is a few words For Me consideri ng that i've got a long-ass google doc open where i'm writing up a whole damn essay on this exact topic.

tldr: the family is not inevitable, it is constructed & can be replaced with something better. full economic freedom from dependence on interpersonal familial relationships for everybody now. check out cuba's 2022 family code for an idea of what this could look like as practical legislation.

[lostwords-found]

Oh no. Oh fuck. I am relistening to some of the earlier Protocol episodes, and I have a horrible, terrible, no good very bad suspicion about Gerry.

I could, I want to emphasize, be completely wrong! I could be wildly, hilariously, off the mark. But--hear me out. This is going to take some explaining about what I think is going on in the bigger picture worldbuilding stuff; hopefully it'll be coherent, but fair warning, it may get a bit long.

First: there have been a lot of cases that have boiled down to trying to keep only the "good"/desirable/etc aspects of things or events or people, and discard the "bad"/unwanted, right? We saw this happening very explicitly in episode 23 with Alesis Newman, and way back in episode 2 with Daria the painter, but a number of episodes have presented variations on a similar theme.

Two variations in particular that I've been thinking a lot about are the violinist in episode 4 and the gambler in episode 9. The violinist can play his violin beautifully, but he wants to be rid of the price in flesh and blood that it demands. Similarly, the gambler wants the rewards of rolling high on his magic dice, but wants to be rid of the misfortunes that come with rolling low. Crucially, both episodes make clear that in this type of balance--something unwanted for something wanted--you can't just make the unwanted piece vanish. It has to go somewhere, it has to happen. But you can make it happen to someone else, somewhere else. And when that's how the game works, one of the major questions for players who want to get ahead then becomes: "how do I make the bad stuff stay happening somewhere else, and keep reaping the benefits of the good stuff that balances it out?"

Here's where this gets wildly speculative and from here on I freely acknowledge that I may be talking out my ass:

I think the Magnus Institute was investigating that question. I suspect a great many alchemists before the Institute, probably going back to the times of Albertus Magnus, were investigating it as well. I think the Great Work they were attempting -- the "universal transmutation" alluded to in episode 21 as the Magnus Institute's aim -- was the exact opposite of Jonah Magnus's own "Great Work" in TMA. In other words, I think they were probably trying to make the world an eternal paradise, rather than an eternal hell.

But if you're getting rid of all the "bad" stuff, all the suffering and misfortune, it's got to go somewhere.

I think they were sending it through to other worlds.

I'm not going to get into all the reasons I think that right now, because that's a whole essay in itself, but basically--the Leitners in TMA? The artifacts? All the little bits and pieces of evil given physical form, that never had a clear origin point in the world where they caused so much suffering for so long? We've all been worried about them winding up here, post-Archives... but I think this is where they came from in the first place. I think they were sent away in the hopes that an increase in "bad" in other worlds would lead to an increase in "good" in this one. Remember all those books Albrecht von Closen found in the tomb in the Black Forest in TMA, that Jonah Magnus later stole and let loose on the world? Remember that Albrecht found a mysterious coin along with them dated 1279? Albertus Magnus died in 1280; I strongly suspect he sent those books from the world of Protocol to that of Archives shortly before his death, much as the world of Archives sent the tapes away centuries later. But I think Protocol's world kept sending things away, kept trying to export "bad" and import "good". Remember all those happy, laughing volunteers bringing strange and sinister items to the charity shop on Hill Top Road in episode 7? "All for a good cause."

Okay so. Now. With that bit of hypothetical framework for Protocol's worldbuilding in place, let's next go back to Alesis Newman of episode 23. Her expressed wish is to create a new her. "Someone better. Someone the pain can't touch." Someone who can be everything Alesis wishes she could have been. Someone "free of all (her) mistakes."

But increasingly it sounds like what she actually wants isn't to create someone new. It is to create someone who is only a part of her current self. Someone who, she says in one of her last few posts, will "just be the good parts of me."

And if that's the case, if what she's really trying to do is make someone who holds only the "good" parts of her, someone who can be happy and strong and perfect and loved by everyone forever... what happens to the bad parts of Alesis Newman, as she currently exists? What about the parts of her that feel pain and fear, the parts of her that make mistakes, the parts of her that she rejects?

One might assume, from the experience she narrates, that those pieces of her are simply being destroyed. But that doesn't line up with the suggestion we've seen from earlier episodes that there has to be some kind of balance maintained in these bargains. What she actually says is happening to her--and what the forum members have apparently told her will happen, through this process--is that she and this "new her" are "becoming one... and then two."

I don't think the "bad" parts of Alesis Newman are dying. I think they're also going to become a "new her"--they're just going to go somewhere else, somewhere the new, happy, strong, perfect version of Alesis Newman never has to see them.

Still with me?

Okay.

Now let's talk about Gerry. Let's talk about the smiling, laughing, irrepressibly happy Gerry Keay we meet early in Protocol. Gerry who seems to have everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives was denied.

Gerry who underwent tests at the Magnus Institute as a child, and who, per the static over his and "Gee Gee's" words, holds a few more secrets about what went on there than he let on to Sam and Celia.

Back when I first heard Gerry's appearance in episode 8, it sure felt like a narrative gut punch: This is who he could have been in Archives, if not for the presence of the Fears. This is what Jon and Martin's final decision threatens to destroy--for this safe, happy version of Gerry, and for everyone else in his world.

I'm now suspecting it might be significantly worse than that. I think the Magnus Institute might have done to Gerry Keay something similar to what Alesis Newman later did to herself: made him New. Kept only the good parts--ensured a happy, comfortable, good life for him. In which case, all the bad stuff--all the parts of Gerry Keay that would ever have to suffer from bad luck, to feel pain and fear and misery...

...well. They'd have had to go... somewhere else, wouldn't they.

Which would suggest I had the causality the wrong way around the first time I heard Gerry's appearance in Protocol: maybe it's not "Gerry has a happy life in this world because he didn't have to suffer everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives did."

Maybe it's "Gerry in Archives had to suffer everything he did because Gerry in Protocol was made to always be happy."

[morphids]

well, two can play that game (pt.2), abby anderson

part one here!

pairing: basketball player!abby anderson x afab! reader (college au)

warnings: 18+ minors dni!!!!! poc friendly!! r has curly hair, past hurt/comfort, past relationships, petnames used in place of actual name, bff!dina x r, very abby focused chapter, abby is incredibly sweet n patient until she fucks u… ellie and abby are sort of archenemies, a lil ellie slander, abby talks u thru it, r gets strapped down in a car 🫣, pussydrunk ramblings, praise, abby calls the strap her cock sorry 😮‍💨

summary: part 2: after ellie left you at the party, you find comfort in the arms of another. perhaps it’s better this way?

wc: 5k (not proofread im sorry y’all my eyes hurt)

2 posts in less than a month?? who am i?? anyway the abby brainrot is rife recently im sorry if its ass.

AS ALWAYS FUCK DRUCKMANN AND ALL ZIONISTS, resources for Palestine and the daily click linked on my pinned post!

—

You were left in the empty bathroom, alone and very pissed off. She ignores you for months, then does this? No, you were more than pissed. You fixed your makeup, more like wiped it all off, and readjusted your clothes, trying to somewhat freshen yourself up before facing the world outside. Your legs still slightly shaking as you thought back to your previous interaction with Ellie. How dare she? She's the one who left. You shuddered, a horrible feeling ripping itself up in your chest, you felt used.

You shook your head, taking one final glance at the mirror before exiting the bathroom. You really only had one mission, get the fuck out of here and go home. Not bothering to say goodbye to your friends, you'd send a text explanation to Dina, surely she'd understand. You just couldn't be here right now, after that. Your legs carried you down the stairs, tunnel vision towards the front door at the end. You frowned, feeling bad that you'd be leaving Dina's on her birthday so you glanced back trying to find her within the crowd. Upon looking, you spotted her and Jesse... and Ellie. She didn't leave? You panicked, instantly looking away, not wanting -Ellie- anyone to see you as you opened the door and strode a few steps in front the road.

Grabbing a single cigarette from your pack and lighting it, you reached for your phone and quickly typed out a message to Dina. As your shaking hands were drafting a whole essay about what had happened, you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder, so gentle it almost indicated that they were trying not to alarm you. Despite their efforts, you were a jumpy person so you swiftly reacted and turned to look at who was trying to get your attention.

"Hey, you alright?" The person revealed themselves as the one you had been enjoying speaking to before the night had been ruined.

"Oh, Abby," You were slightly shocked, admittedly. The little stunt that Ellie pulled must've given you some form of brain damage because Abby had ultimately left your thoughts, "Yeah, I'm fine." You smiled at her, at least what you thought was a smile, it must've looked more like an odd grimace because Abby then spoke,

"You sure, you look a bit... shaken." Her words were hesitant, eyes studying you, you must've looked as bad as you felt.

"Sorry, yeah, just..." you paused, "Need to get out of here." You took another drag, your cigarette almost at its end.

"Do you have a ride home?" She asked, those maldito crystal blue eyes furrowed with worry, she was not about to leave a distressed girl on the side of the street alone at night, Abby thought.

"I'll just book a taxi," you explained, not wanting to burden the poor woman. She didn't deserve to be brought into this mess. The plan of the night was for you to stay at Dina's, knowing that you were a bit broke currently, but that was no longer an option for you, especially if Ellie was planning on lingering around.

"I can drive you home, if you'd like." Abby stated, her firm hand resting on top of your shoulder, noticing you shake from the cold weather of the night. "I haven't drank all night, if that makes you feel better?" She firmed, the corner of her lips stretching out into a slight smile with hopes of helping you perk up a little. It was working.

"I don't want to trouble yo-"

"If you truly don't want to, that's okay," she reassured, "But if you're just saying that not to be a burden on me, that's silly. You look stressed, I'd like to help."

Her catching you out made you chuckle, you were once again, reminded that you had been having great conversations with her before that interruption. You let out a sigh,

"Okay, you got me, I'd really appreciate a ride." That caused her smile to grow, as she looked down at you, straightening herself up before grabbing her keys from her pocket.

"Perfect, let's go."

--

The car was slightly frosted over, a cool air flowing through the vehicle as Abby handled the steering wheel with the utmost confidence.

"Thank you,"

"You don't need to say thank you, glad to help," Abby spoke.

A few silent moments passed, questions noticeably waiting to be asked,

"So, what happened back there?"

You stilled, an air of shame washing over you,

"Um," You were slightly embarrassed, after all you were flirting with Abby at the party just seconds before the whole ordeal with Ellie, you didn't want her to think a certain way about you. Especially since she was so kindly driving you home.

"Something happened with my ex," You sighed, deciding to bite the bullet.

"Doesn't sound too good," She responded, eyes darting to glance at you before focusing back on the road. You didn't live that far from Dina's, you were probably due to arrive soon.

"That's an understatement," You paused, "I just don't understand women."

Abby let out a quick laugh,

"You and me both,"

"I mean, she ghosts me, then shows up with one of her new conquests and then fucks me in the bathroom because she saw me talking to you and leaves?" You blurted out, clearly needing to vent about it, you suddenly remembered you never ended up actually sending that text to Dina.

"Oh," Abby paused, clearly not expecting that, she recovered and quickly added, "That's awful, I'm sorry." You studied her a little, looking for any signs that she was disgusted or put off, there didn't seem to be any.

"Don't be, Ellie's not exactly the picture of healthy relationships."

"Wait, Ellie? Williams?"

"Yeah?"

"Damn, hasn't changed, has she?"

"What do you mean?" You pressed, recognising the familiar turns of your street, you mentally swore, of course it starts getting juicy just as you begin to reach home.

"Just... had an issue with her a while back, after one of our basketball games,"

Abby's car slowed to a stall, the lack of momentum had emphasised the hum of the engine and the repetitive blinks of the indicator.

Abby turned now to look at you, turning off the engine, her right arm resting on the steering wheel, your eyes couldn't help but glaze your attention on the curves of her muscles, you looked away before she caught you staring.

"Honestly, it was so long ago, but she kinda got involved with two girls on the team," You silently gaped at her, wordlessly allowing her to continue, this was news to you - did Dina know any of this?

"Basically, neither of them knew about it until Ellie got caught making out with someone else during that party after the game. We all kinda lost our shit with her and I think there was punches thrown? Kicked a lot of shit off between the team and kinda ruined the flow of our games for a while, we're all over it now but..."

"Oh," Was all you could say, you really dated Ellie not knowing anything about this. Has she always been the type of person to jump from ship to ship? You shuddered at the thought that you were just another addition to a rather extensive list.

"Sorry, I thought you would've known about it," Abby sympathised,

"No, it's not your fault." You sighed, at least now you knew the kind of person you were actually dealing with. It fuelled your anger, especially with how she behaved earlier.

A still second passed inside the car, the indicator still blinking and you suddenly felt all the more embarrassed.

"Well, sorry about all this, thank you for the ride home. I do appreciate it," You unclipped your seatbelt, turning your body slightly to grab the handle and make your exit.

"You gonna be alright?" Abby questioned, her blue eyes looking up at you, there was an unreadable expression within them, not pity but something else.

"I think? Probably just gonna rot for the next few hours," You paused, turning to face her fully. You were still on edge from before, and with this new information you didn't feel like being alone. You shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do it at all. She's probably so tired of your shit already. Yet the words forced themselves out faster than you could do anything to stop them,

"You don't have to, but would you like to come in? I could make you a hot drink or something as thanks?"

The corners of her lips turned upwards,

"I'd love to,"

—

You had brewed two mugs of hot chocolate, turning away from the counter to face the tall blonde that now sat in your living room.

"Thanks," she smiled as she took the hot cup from your grasp. Joining her on the couch, you hesitated - what now?

Do you pop a movie on? Do you play music? Your brain was begin to work overtime as you suddenly felt awkward.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry," you say, finally adjusting to get comfortable on the pillows.

"You were staring at your drink for a while, there." She chuckled, blowing on the hot drink before taking a sip whilst maintaining eye contact with you.

"Got lost in the sauce again," You joked, not wanting to speak about Ellie any longer.

"Happens often?" She teased, one corner of her lips quipped up slightly.

"More than I'd like to admit,"

"Thanks again, for the ride."

"You don't have to keep saying thank you, angel, it wasn't even a ten minute drive." She explained, you felt more at ease. Abby truly was something else, she had this comforting air around her where you just felt safe and understood.

"Still, you didn't have to,"

"Darling, I'm gonna need you to stop saying thank you for basic human decency," She insisted, her tone firm but gentle, her eyebrows moved in a way you could only read as 'you know?'.

"You don't owe me anything, alright? I just wanted to make sure you got home okay." Abby proclaimed, her voice lowering, becoming shy, almost. "If it helps, I'm glad Dina introduced us."

You felt a tug in your chest as you processed her words. You met her eyes, a warm feeling washed over you, uh oh.

"I'm glad she introduced us, too."

She seemed satisfied with that, a smile coating her lips as she turned her attention back away to her drink.

You decided to get yourself off the couch, Abby's light eyes following your trail, still encompassing the almost finished mug with her hands. You bent down, on your knees in front of her, Abby was suddenly glad your back was facing her, as her eyes would've certainly made you privy to where her gaze had landed.

You reached underneath your coffee table, aimlessly throwing your hand underneath it into the separate compartments. Abby was mentally cursing herself for looking, yet your shirt had ridden up slightly, the bend of the dimpled bottom of your back leading to the perfect curve of your ass— Abby looked away, she didn't want to think thoughts like that about you, not under these circumstances, at least. Stop being such a lesbian, Abby- She thought.

Truth is, Abby really liked talking to you at Dina's party. She was enthralled as soon as Dina brought you over to her, your thick curls perfectly framing your face, she thought back to when you told her your name, the way your velvety lips moved with the words and the way your eyes sparkled as you took in her frame.

She quickly discovered you were easy to talk to and there was clearly mutual attraction there, but she didn't want to pressure you into anything, especially since Abby figured Ellie had done enough damage for one night. Abby thought to what you said, how all of that happened because Ellie saw you talking with her, it angered her, you deserved so much better than that, but it also gave her an odd feeling of subtle pride. Ellie felt jealous over her? Well, then she should've acted right, Abby thought, thoughts interrupted by your voice.

"Ah!" You breathed out, finally grabbing what you were looking for. With your free hand, you pulled the hem of your shirt back down a bit, turning to Abby who was busy downing the rest of her drink to avoid looking at you.

She propped the mug on the table, before muttering,

"Jenga?" A chuckle escaped her, a warm feeling grew in her chest as she saw the impish look on your face,

"Come on, it's old but it's a classic— and, it has questions on them, what do you say?" Abby took in your features, eyes glinting with excitement and lips curved into an expectant smile. Her breathing sped up, air suddenly trapped.

"How can I say no to that?"

—

"I give it a week." Dina exclaimed, an isolated smirk on her face, you had just told her about your night with Abby after her party. You had ended up just playing silly board games and talking most of the night, to Dina's discontent apparently as a she was currently placing bets on when you and Abby will undoubtedly sleep together, her words.

"Dina!"

"Come on, you're lesbians. It's the prophecy."

You let out a laugh, shaking your head at her as you secured your earrings on.

You glanced over at yourself on the full length mirror in Dina's bedroom, unsure.

"You look hot, don't worry," she smiled, "Lowers my bets to less than three days." Dina finished with a wink, walking with you to the entrance of the house.

Her confidence only seemed to make you more nervous, Abby had invited you to a party with her teammates, you would've dragged Dina with you but lucky for you, she had already made plans with Ellie.

Ellie. Even mentally, her name was thought of with disdain. You hadn't seen her since that night, nor did you want to. Right now, your focus was on Abby, and you didn't want to let her have enough power to sour your entire night.

Your phone buzzed, a message from Abby saying she was parked outside,

"She here?"

"Yeah,"

"Alright, well good luck~" She gushed, almost pushing you out the door. Dina felt content, knowing that she was helping you get over Ellie, even a little. She loved you both, but she couldn't sit back and watch that particular fire burn itself out.

You stepped out of Dina's place, making your way over to the only car outside you recognised, where Abby was standing in between the driver's seat and the car door. God, she looked good.

Abby glanced up from her phone before smiling widely at you.

"Hey, pretty, you ready?" Her voice was so soft, you found yourself hanging on every syllable she uttered. You tried to control your facial response to her words, even though, you are almost certain that she knows exactly how you feel about her. She seemed to get this impish expression in her eyes. Mirth.

You wonder if she feels the same thing.

"Born ready." You smile back up at her, Abby opens the passenger door for you and waits until you're fully settled into the seat before shutting the door, making her way around to her side and joining you.

Clicking her seatbelt into place and switching on the ignition, her larger hand finds its way on to the top of your thigh, fingers spaced out confidently as her thumb strokes your skin over your jeans.

You fight the urge to adjust your body, suddenly hyperaware of the way your body is reacting to such a simple act.

"Let's go then,"

—

Abby stops by her house before the party, had to grab something apparently.

She parked her car inside the blocky carpark for her apartment building, managing to find a space somewhere in this car maze. Turning the ignition off, she moved her hand off your thigh, not before turning her gaze towards you.

It looks like she has something to say, yet no words escape her.

You take the opportunity to look at her, her features, your eyes trailing down her face to her plump lips.

"You're beautiful, you know." You say to her, you feel yourself enter some sort of daze. No other thoughts, all you can think and inhale is Abby. Your mind completely clouded and the only clarity being her.

You see a flash of red cross her cheeks, though she quickly steeled her expression, the left corner of her lips tilting up as her eyes landed on your own lips.

Abby clicks off her seatbelt, her hands coming back to return to their comfortable spot on your thighs, slightly wrapping her fingers around the outside of them as she lightly grabs you a little closer to her.

Your faces are inches apart now, you glance down at her lips, clicking off your own seatbelt before placing yourself on her lap in the driver's seat. You connect your lips with hers as your hands meet the back of her neck.

Abby quickly responds and returns the kiss, tightening her grip on your thighs, her other hand running up your side, softly making contact with your back.

You slowly wind your hips across hers, dragging yourself up using the force of your legs which are spread over her lap.

Her mouth opens slightly as you start making out. Tongue softly brushing over her bottom lip before you gently bite and pull her skin down, causing a moan to escape her lips.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're going to make me do something stupid." Her voice low, warm with honey.

Her hands crawl back down to the top of your jeans, underneath the fabric to meet the back of your ass, kneading your skin with a strong grip, groaning as she was actually touching you after cursing herself out for even glancing at your exposed back the other night. A part of her was relieved that you wanted this just as bad as she did.

"Like what?" You tease, placing gentle kisses on her neck, alternating different amounts of pressure as you kissed up to behind her ear.

"Like fuck you in my car." You shuddered.

"Maybe that's what I'm after," You drag your hips across hers again, meeting her lips once more in an ardent kiss.

"Careful," She whispered, fingers tightening around the ample skin of your cheeks, pecking your lips lightly, "Don't do anything you'd regret."

You chuckled, "Baby if I regret anything, it wouldn't be you." Looking at her through your lashes, eyes doe and wanting, lips plump and swollen, Abby found it harder to be a voice of reason, especially when the very picture of enticement was sat pretty on her lap, uttering words that were ever so sweet and inviting. Her resolve was dropping, made obvious by the way her chest raised and sank with each breath, her pupils blowing out the blue of her eyes slightly. She decided, then, that you were going to be the death of her.

Your lips met again, the pacing quickened this time, "Well, in that case," she muttered, taking advantage of the way her hands were already cupping your ass to slowly drive your hips over her thigh. Abby inched her head into the curve of your neck as she left feathery pecks on the supple skin, lifting her knee an inch higher to graze your centre, the tips of her eyebrows lifting as she spoke, “Can I?”

Needing to take a deep breath to calm your speeding heart rate, thinking if she really needed to ask at this point when you were so clearly turned on right now. “I swear, I’ll die right now, if you don’t,” You managed to let out, trying to rub yourself against her as the pressure building up was getting unbearable. Abby breathed out a soft laugh, resuming her attack on your neck and up to your earlobe, you almost cried from the sensitivity that eagerness had cursed you with, you were thankful that night had fallen, the darkened shadows of the late hours hiding your depraved salacity.

Tongue grazing the skin underneath your ear, Abby shuffled a little in her seat, exposing something solid underneath your leg, concealed under her jeans, your eyebrows furrowed and eyelids jolted open, had that been there this whole time? The newly discovered information had your mind reeling, obscene thoughts reigning your head as you realised she must’ve been walking around with that thing. You wondered if she always walked around with that thing. The thought was too much, your core became increasingly warmer and damp, throbbing as she kneaded you over the plastic extension of herself.

“Fuck,” you gasped, mewling at the rigidity of her strap through your clothes, rubbing up against you. You couldn’t hold your tongue, “You always keep that on you?” voice breathy as her hands met the skin of your torso underneath your shirt, your stomach tensing as the skin rippled with shivers from her touch. Not even letting her answer your question, you spoke again, voice wavering, “We’re gonna be late to meet your friends,”

“Honestly, pretty girl, I couldn’t give a damn about that right now,” Abby’s voice deepened, coated with a thick wave of carnality. Her wandering hands gently lifted your top, exposing your breasts to her as she placed her tongue over the hardened peaks, before speaking again, “Not when you’re in front of me looking like that,” Her demeanour was composed, trying to mask her ardour and the slight tremble in her hands that she prayed you didn’t notice, but she, too, felt the innate fervency that was electrifying the air. She looked you over, shirt lifted, mouth agape, body gleaming in the scarce light from the windows, twitching with anticipation. Your eyes watching hers, cheeks warming under her heavy gaze. You were absolutely delightful, and she couldn’t hold herself back from indulging, nor did she want to.

Her hands finally reached the waistband of your jeans, fingers twining around the belt loops as she pulled them down to your knees, allowing you to rushingly pull off the remaining fabric that clung to your legs, carelessly shoving them down somewhere to the bottom of the car floor. The remaining baggy shirt draping over your thighs. It was a sight for sore eyes, Abby thought. You unzipped her pants, eagerly pulling out her strap that she had been walking around with. You looked up at her, a hint of a smirk on your lips, Abby placed one hand at the base, angling the tip against your covered slit, watching as your slick seeped further over your lace underwear, leaving a distinctive translucent mark of your arousal. You moaned, eyes shutting as you bent your head down against her clavicle, hiding yourself from the embarrassment you felt at being so exposed in your desire for her. She wasn’t even in, yet, for fuck’s sake, and you were already weak.

“Don’t hide, baby,” She uttered, voice quiet and sweet as she bit back her own moans at the sight. Abby slipped the tip under the hem of your panties, the stiff cap of her strap rolling over your folds, spreading your slick up to your clit, in full sight as the thin, wet fabric of your underwear clung to her shape, exposing the sinful silhouette of her strap under your panties, “Wanna look at you.”

Abby smirked as she felt how little friction it took for her strap to slide up against your folds, “Fuck, you’re so fucking wet,” Her voice tense, groaning as she watched her own movements, teeth grabbing the bottom of her own lip as the tip became covered in slick, hidden beneath the fabric, “All wet and ready, could just slide right in,”

“Abby, p-please, can’t take it,” You whimpered, the pressure against your clit was stirring you towards insanity, but it wasn’t enough, not when she was teasing you with the damn thing, not when she was so, so close. You couldn’t take her relentless teasing any longer, spurred and waiting as you could only sit there as she decided to mess with you, you thought you’d come right there and then.

“Please what, baby?” She smirked, the edge of her lip tilting up as she watched you lose more and more of your patience, hips jutting towards her as a means to feel more of her. Lips meeting the edge of your jaw as she left the softest kisses on your skin, pausing to look over at you, the way your expressions morphed into desperation and eyebrows pinched together, just waiting for her to move properly. “Please, just p-put it inside, need to feel you inside, Abby-please” The desperation in your voice pulled at her, her own heat throbbing as she admired you, thankful that someone up there had blessed her with this sight tonight. Whichever lesbian gods resided up there to gift her such a vision. The sight of you falling apart and begging for her made her lose all the remaining composure she tried so hard to cling on to, as she slid up into your walls, you welcoming her as she slipped right in. You were so wet that she could hear the perverted sounds of your pussy sucking her in, your hands clawed at the back of her neck, head against her collarbone as you bit into her shoulder, grasping on to any remaining dregs of stability you could find. Your hips began to roll against hers on their own, seeking their own path.

“There, that’s it, baby. See, how you can take it,” Her words were anything but innocent, yet the saccharine tone of her voice was pulling you further into your climax, like a siren dragging you into deepwater, you were rendered wordless at this point, having been so turned on for so long must’ve melted your brain to mush, so you could only lean against her and ride her out. Could only sit there and take it, “You’re such a good girl for me, baby, that’s it,”

“You feel.. s-so fucking good, Abby,” Your babbles seemed to exacerbate Abby’s movements, lack of coherent words spurring her on as the harder thrusts hit the back of your cervix, drawing out the loudest sound you’ve ever heard be forced out from between your lips, you lifted your head to look at her, she looked just as ruined as you. Her eyes fixed on where you and her strap connected, folds gripping her each time she pulled out, “Fuck, baby, you’re taking me so fucking well, like you were born for my cock,” Her words were now blatantly sinful, Abby’s head just as mushed as yours felt as she rambled, drunk on feeling as if the strap truly was attached to her. She was usually such a gentlewoman, patient and respectful, but now? In this moment you saw another side to her, one that was so carnal in her desire and knew exactly what to say to make you see double. “I can almost feel you clenching around me,”

“Fuck-mm, Abby, I’m so close,” Her strap was splitting, your eyes shut as the repeated hits against your walls reverberated through your system, you bounced your hips against hers, sucking her further in. The insides of your thighs were drenched, your slick having dripped down all over her strap as she moved. You felt your brain almost explode when Abby’s fingers met with your clit, rubbing against the bud as her other hand reached up to grasp your jaw, with a little pressure, just enough for your plump lips to jut out slightly as she reconnected your lips. Her name sounded so sweet on your tongue, the familiar swell of pride returned, proud that it was her name you were currently moaning out, hers and hers alone. She wondered if Ellie ever made you like this, or if it was reserved just for her.

You could die happy, you thought, if this was the last humanly pleasure you felt. Her tongue moved against yours, before biting your bottom lip, you couldn’t focus on anything but her, the way she was making you feel. Your vision becoming slightly blurred as the pressure in your lower stomach built up, tightening as you felt it increase and increase as her fingers played with the bundle of nerves paired with the repeated beats of her pressing herself into you. Her hand loosened its grip on your jaw, she reached to the hem of your shirt, lifting it to reveal your breasts, nipples stiff as the movement of your bodies made your breasts spring up and down, the skin of your ass recoiled as gravity worked its magic, Abby was entranced, mesmerised as she watched you glow closer. Your hands grabbed at her, running down from her neck to reach her well-built biceps, nails digging into the buff muscles, drawing tiny red marks which contrasted against her skin. Playing basketball must really keep her busy.

Abby was no fool, she had clocked you staring at them enough, she let out a grunt as she felt the sharp sting on your nails. The act prompted her, losing the grip over her mouth as she was incited to new levels. “Like my arms, sugar?”

“Abby..” you mewled, pushing your face into her neck in the embarrassment that you had been clocked, “They’re just so big,”

Abby chuckled, “I’ll show you what they’re capable of soon enough,” Her words went straight to your core, making you clench tightly around her.

“For now, I want you to come all over my cock, sweetheart,” She grabbed at the skin of your breasts, kneading her large hands over them, pulling and tweaking your nipples as your body fell into her, lips open as the overstimulation hit its peak, eliciting a final drawl from you as your body shook against her. “Fuck… there you go, baby,” she dragged your orgasm out, still pushing her cock into you as you rode it out, “Fuck.. fucking orgasm lasted so long,” you sighed into her neck, mumbling voice wobbled as your legs twitched against her, spilling your cum all over her strap as it leaked out of you. She slowed her thrusts, keeping herself inside you until you were done. Your sensitive walls still reacting to her.

You felt completely worn out as she finally slipped out of you, you shyly lifted your head to make contact with her gaze, her eyes warm and gleaming as she attempted to hold back a smile, “That was..” You could hardly finish your sentence, placing a soft kiss against her lips as she grabbed your neck, holding your head up and rubbing her thumb over the soft skin of your jaw. “Wow.”

“Speechless, huh?” She couldn’t contain herself, an air of cockiness in her demeanour, her mind wandered to what this meant for you both now.

“If you think we’re still going, I have bad news,” You muttered, still in a daze as a wave of sleepiness hit you,

“Sweetheart, we’re not going anywhere but upstairs to my apartment,” You smiled at her, this was exciting. You felt comforted with her, “Don’t think I’m not returning the favour, by the way,” Abby laughed, nodding as she kissed your neck.

“Shit, I owe Dina 20 bucks,”

“Wait, what?”

—

like, comment or reblog to your hearts desire if ya enjoyed :p

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Carrie

Stephen King: check it out guys! King: they're publishing a book of essays about Carrie! King: we got richard chizmar, bentley little, mick garris, norman prentiss, tom deady, Anthony Breznican Angela Carter: are there any women involved in this King: oh yeah of course of course Carter: King:

Carter: don't you think, steve, that a collection of essays about carrie should include some womens voices King: oh of course! we've got bev vincent Carter: bev vincent is a guy King: King: what? Bev Vincent: yeah its fine, this happens all the time

King: look it's not all guys in this collection King: we also have caitlin kiernan Carter: oh really? caitlin, what do you think? Kiernan: i think that black people have a special gland in their brain that makes them do crime Carter: Carter: i meant about carrie

King: ok maybe the roster for this collection is a little guy heavy King: but, you know, maybe guys have some interesting thoughts about a story heavy on mother-daughter relationship issues and menstrual themes? Carter: King: it's possible!

Carter: ok fine, i would like to hear some of these interesting thoughts that you men have on carrie Bentley Little: did you ever think that maybe you should change the title from "Carrie" to "The Carrie?" Carter: King: King: you know what, i'll take that under advisement Carter: don't do that

King: c'mon guys don't let me down! Tell me your deep thoughts about Carrie! King: people want to know what you think of this story of a psychic teenage girl Richard Chizmar: psychic girl? wait, girls can do that? Mick Garris: whoa thats bad ass Josh Boone: this changes everything!

Chizmar: this whole time, i didn't know girls were psychic Garris: that explains why they're always setting things on fire with their minds Chizmar: yeah i was wondering about that Boone: everything makes sense now Little: guys i really think it would be better if it was "THE carrie"

Chizmar: [reading carrie] whoa whoa whoa Chizmar: what's all this menstruation stuff? Carter: [whispers in chizmar's ear] Chizmar: EVERY MONTH?!?!?! Chizmar: holy shit Chizmar: that's metal Garris: what are you talking about, i want to know too!

Garris: and blood comes out WHERE?? Carter: [whispers in garris's ear] Garris: ha ha gross! Little: this doesn't sound real, i think you're making this all up

Carter: ok so show of hands Carter: do any other men here need the concept of menstruation explained to them? Poppy Z Brite: no i think i'm clear

[stars-and-cows]

Im glad someone is educated in this fandom household

V3 🔛🔝

[slytherinboysappreciation]

Hello! It's me againn and guess what 😈😈 Yes! I got another idea for Tom Riddle and m!reader 😋😋

Ekhem- so basically Tom was assigned to tutor this boy who was known for his lack of effort in class, he would sleep nor just ditched out the classes. So, as a nice Headboy he was, Tom decided to accept the task to tutor the boy and behold! The boy just sleeping the whole time Tom explain smth to him. So yeah Tom's mad n reader was like "Huh why r u mad? I don't even need tutor in the 1st place..." So Tom's gotten more mad 😔 and reader would like 🧍‍♂️

AHAHAHA n then as an apology, reader shows up to Tom after the exam ended n gave him his exam papers and oh boy this mf got O (Outstanding) for all the subjects, turns out the reader is able to do the school works from the beginning but he just won't do it bc he's a lazy ass bitch. Then Tom's reaction would be "🧍‍♂️...Yeah, i need those genes for my kids 😍"

THIS IS SO MESSY LMAO im sorry here's sum oranges for ur wonderful writing 🍊🍊🍊

Tutoring - T. R. x male!Reader

A/N: Thank you so much!! I love seeing you in my ask box! I hope this is what you were wanting 💛 Sorry about the ending lol. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to end it well.

I think I tagged everything, but let me know if I missed something! Fic is unedited with no use of Y/N

Anyway, have some hearts for sending me so many amazing requests! 💛💛💛💛

CW: Tom being fed up; anger; laziness; yelling; Tom gets fairly upset in this; somewhat mean words towards the reader; making up; brief compliment towards Tom; Abraxas and Tom are friends in this; Tom gets a little bit obsessed with reader; Tom’s evil plans

1144 words

It was a little known fact that Tom loved tutoring. For more selfish reasons than he’d care to admit, but he loved it all the same.

It was the rush of power he felt when a teacher came to him on behalf of yet another student. It was the pride when a student finally understood the material.

It was even the knowledge that Tom was smarter than most of the students at Hogwarts.

And yet, for all his love of tutoring, he was seriously debating quitting.

Why?

The answer was simple. You.

Tom had agreed to tutor you as a favor to Professor Slughorn. It wasn’t even for extra credit; a rare occasion of Tom being nice.

The professor was clearly fed up with you, and Tom was more than willing to take on a challenge.

And oh, what a challenge you were.

You were late to your first tutoring session, completely missed the second one, and slept through the third one.

You’d apologized, of course; but by the fourth tutoring session, it was clear you just didn’t have the motivation to study.

And it infuriated Tom.

He’d never failed as a tutor before, and he certainly wasn’t going to fail now.

When your eyes start to droop for the third time in ten minutes during your next study session, Tom’s patience runs out.

“Were you attending a party last night?” he demands, hands clenched. “What in Merlin’s name could have made you so tired?”

You startle, blearily lifting your head and rubbing at your eyes. “You think I’m cool enough to attend a party?”

It sounds like a genuine question, one Tom refuses to answer.

“What. Kept. You. Up?”

“My roommates.” You yawn and settle back into your seat. “They were having fun or something. Bein’ loud. Kept me up most of the night.”

Tom’s fists unclench. He takes a deep breath. “And do they do this every night?”

“Well… sort of…?” You fiddle with your quill. “Not every night, but…”

Tom pinches the bridge of his nose. “Talk to your Head of House about it. They’ll deal with your noisy roommates.”

“Alright.” You give him a small smile. Tom doesn’t return it.

“Now, for your potions essay…”

You slump in your seat.

But Tom counts it as a win when it takes you a few minutes longer than usual before your head starts drooping again.

You’re falling asleep yet again, and Tom has had it with you.

He slams the potions guide down on the table, startling you awake.

“Merlin, what the—“

“What—“ Tom seethes, “—is wrong with you?”

You blink, clearly taken aback. “Uhhh…”

“I have done my absolute best to ensure you don’t fail your exams next week, and you have done nothing but laze about and sleep!”

“Look, Riddle, just chill out.” You hold up your hands placatingly, giving him a weak smile. “I don’t get why you’re so upset. Professor Slughorn said you wanted to tutor me.”

“Well, not anymore! I am through with you!” Tom stands, fists clenched. “You have driven me to my wit’s end! If you’re not going to bother even trying to focus, I’m not going to bother trying to help you!”

“Hey—“

“I quit!” Tom snaps.

You stare at him, stunned. Then you cross your arms. “Well, fine! Merlin knows I never needed a tutor in the first place!”

Tom glares at you and angrily gathers his things.

It doesn’t feel good to quit. But he’s never felt so helpless before. You just simply seem to refuse to learn.

As he stalks away, though, there’s an odd pull at his heart. Maybe it was something about the unhappiness in your eyes. Or the way your fingers trembled as they gripped your quill.

Whatever it was, Tom squashes the feeling like a bug. He’s done with you. Not even a favor from Slughorn could tempt him to take you on again.

Of that, he is certain.

Tom’s sitting with Abraxas in the main hall, celebrating his exam scores. All Outstandings and Exceeds Expectations, even for Divination and Herbology.

He’s particularly proud of his O in Potions, proof that he knows the material well.

He’s just about to bite into a pumpkin pastry when there’s a soft cough behind him.

He turns, raising an eyebrow. It’s you, looking quite sheepish.

“Hey, Riddle.”

Tom purses his lips together thinly and crosses his arms. “Hello.”

You shuffle your feet and rub the back of your neck. “I know you were really mad at me,” you mumble, “But I wanted to explain myself a bit…”

“Then explain.”

You take a deep breath and pull a piece of paper from your pocket. It’s your report card for the exams.

Tom takes it, expecting to see some sort of dismal grade requiring his assistance.

But instead, what greets him is the best set of scores he’s ever seen. All Outstandings, in every class.

Tom stares at the report card, utterly baffled. “What?”

You rub the back of your neck again, not meeting his gaze. “I told you, I didn’t need a tutor. I can do the work. I just don’t like it.”

Tom slowly looks up from the report card. “You… just don’t like it…?”

You shrug. “Schoolwork’s boring. I’d rather do something else instead.”

Tom’s brain is a whirl. You were capable of doing the coursework already. More so, you knew everything well enough to get Outstandings in every class, something even he failed to do.

Tom hands you back your report card. “I owe you an apology then.”

“Nah,” you laugh softly and shuffle your feet. “Don’t worry about it. ‘Sides, you’re kinda cute all angry ‘n’ stuff.”

Tom blinks. You shrug and give him an awkward smile. “See you around, Riddle.”

“Right…” He watches as you walk away.

Then he turns quickly to Abraxas. “Malfoy, he had all Outstandings.”

Abraxas glances at him once, then does a double take. “Oh, no. I know that look. What are you planning?”

Tom grins. “Surely you see it? A brain that smart, when paired with my cunning? We’d be unstoppable.”

Abraxas glances at where you’d been standing. “Tom, I don’t know about this…”

But Tom’s mind is already at work. You already thought he was cute once… With the right sort of manipulation, perhaps he could get you to think it again.

Perhaps he could get you to fall in love with him.

“Just think about it, Malfoy. Our children would be geniuses!”

Abraxas just sighs. He shakes his head, but Tom ignores him. His plan is forming in his mind; his perfect plan to get you to fall in love with him.

With only a little bit of persuasion, he’ll get you to fall in love with him. And then you’ll be his lover forever. The other half to his genius.

And then all his plans will be perfected.

[demonzoro]

none of this is proofread but here's my ideal modern au for the goth fam. wall of text incoming, sky is blue, etc.

mihawk: World's Most Reluctant College Professor. history/archaeology. reluctantly employed because his place of residence (half-wrecked castle) is owned by the university and one of the terms for him to live there for free is to teach classes. initially hired as a publicity stunt that petered out. actual respected swordsman in the modern age but the reality is "swordsman" is... not very lucrative. really important to me that he is forcibly employed while having gigantic unemployed energy.

his ass is not showing up to a lecture hall unless under extreme duress (shanks showing up to his place unannounced again🙄). fully aware his papers are only taken as a credit filler (robin lectures the papers that are more practically applicable). almost exclusively "teaches" by emailing out reading lists and assignments. actively trying to get his students to drop his paper so he can do fuck-all for the rest of the year.

zoro: phys ed major. he's so serious about his main courses as well as mihawk's stupidly niche paper. probably the first person the "Dracule Mihawk Teaches Here!" publicity stunt has worked on in years. has trouble with the heavy focus of book-smarts this paper requires but powers through it best he can until mihawk sets some indecipherable tome as part of a reading list and zoro is like. okay. you leave me no choice.

he fully shows up on mihawk's doorstep at 9:44PM on a tuesday night brandishing this tome. mihawk answers the door because he is two bottles into his wine.

zoro, furious that this piece of shit tome has no audiobook alternative: this. YOU. explain. NOW. mihawk: a student. at my doorstep. did shanks blab to you. zoro: your address is publicly listed as a minor tourist attraction. mihawk (<- didn't know that): hm. come in.

zoro is treated to a full drunk history session and the supermarket gift wine mihawk has been avoiding but accidentally opened. he wakes up the next morning and zoro is still there in one of the guest rooms. he's like what are you doing here and zoro is like. i don't have a whole day to waste getting back to my dorm i need to do your assignment.

mihawk, fully aware the dorms should only be a max twenty minute walk away: interesting. get out.

safe to say, zoro thinks visiting mihawk's home is easier than emailing him. which is true in some ways since mihawk takes small joys in putting unread emails straight into trash.

perona: fashion major OBVIOUSLY. really interested finding vintage/archival sewing patterns/designs and modernising them. LOVES using essays as outlets for her rants. blase on everything else in life but takes her course so seriously. HATES zoro ever since he almost made her fail an assignment because he had checked out a book she needed and held it for fucking aaages.

similarly zoro hates perona bc she almost made him fail an assignment by hogging the only lightbox on this side of the campus that makes it possible to read some of the archival material mihawk puts on his impossible reading lists.

zoro gets lost in mihawk's castle and meets perona in-person for the first time outside of a name on a booking sheet and they have a huge stupid argument. zoro storms off and accidentally finds mihawk again this way and he's doubly mad because he can't believe mihawk has been chasing him away all this time while letting another student just live in the east wing.

mihawk (<- didn't know that): there's a what.

turns out perona just said "umm dorm fees? rent? in this economy? there's a wrecked castle 20mins away from campus it's free real estate". and she's right. she also finds out mihawk has staff access to archival materials not readily open to students and she immediately whips out a wishlist.

anyways i imagine perona graduates and becomes a fashion designer. zoro decides booksmarts is not for him and drops out to focus fully on a professional athlete career or make his way as a stuntman. models for perona on occasion. mihawk fully quits his job after those two leave bc they were the only ones in years that made it interesting. retires but robin recommends him as a consultant to the museum society and he does some work there. ALWAYS calls zoro or perona if he's restoring smthng cool he thinks they would love.

jfc are you still here. i kiss you on the lips

[zvdvdlvr]

three strikes ✩ marauders

🥃 — synopsis. Don’t fuck with a Hufflepuff.

🥃 — warnings. Foul language. Ooc. Peter is a cutey.

🥃 — author’s note. Yet again: I nessed around with the timeline and wrote this on a whim. Enjoy!

“Someone was up late!” You exclaimed, wrapping an arm around your friend James’s shoulders.

The curly-haired menace shrugged you off of him and shoveled food onto his plate. Remus sat down beside you. “The wanker was up copying essays because he always waits to do ‘em until the day before they’re due,” he explained humorously. “And you wonder why the professors give us weeks to write these things.”

You chuckled and elbowed James in the side. “Spoiled baby boy just isn’t used to work,” you joked.

“Cutesy little Hufflepuff needs to shut up,” James muttered before picking up his juice-filled goblet and downing the whole thing.

As the only Hufflepuff accepted by the infamous Marauders, you definitely got your fair share of teasing from your fellow classmates. You were known as the ‘funny friend’ that had thick skin and an opinion on everything. There were times being known as the joker of the group was the best! You were the happily-dispositioned Puff that people came to for advice, jokes, or just someone to review notes with. And then there were the days where your opinion and feelings were completely overlooked- seen as just the clown.

You had gotten used to the days were you regretted being so extroverted and joking. Your skin was thick and you don’t remember the last time you let someone see you without your easygoing smile. 

But now that seventh year was drawing to a close and that everyone was ‘growing up’, it seemed like no one had any more patience. And since you always tried to help- though you sometimes went about it in the wrong way- you were often the person that got snapped at. To be honest, being the person at the short end of the stick when you had been nothing but a shoulder to cry on (not exactly literally) was tiring you out. You didn’t know how much you could put up with: especially if you had to deal with your friends’ anger.

“Funny,” you chuckled. You smoothly picked at the food on your plate and finished up what you were eating.

Sirius slid down across the lot of you, brushing his hair out of his face. “What’s funny?”

Remus answered with a “your mum’s face” that made James lighten up a little bit.

You snorted a laugh, knowing how strikingly attractive Sirius’s mother was. James’s comment was forgotten and you went about your day.

🥃.

The second strike was when Sirius got upset at your for making a lighthearted joke about his living arrangement at James’s house.

Now, to be fair, the infamous and noble house of Black was a bloody fucking mess. Incest ran in the family, the Unforgivables were a common occurrence, and the drama that surrounded that damn family was a laughingstock of it’s own.

The scene is set like this:

Sirius and James were discussing plans for the ‘escape’ that Sirius was planning. James’s Godsends of parents were quite common with all of you and were familiar with Sirius’s home-life. They had opened their home to Sirius and the rest of the Marauders should any of you need it.

On your left, Peter was absently fiddling with his wand. To your right Remus was munching on a chocolate bar. The full moon was coming up and Remus was already feeling the effects of his condition. Sirius and James were talking animatedly in front of you, discussing details.

“-I’m really glad your mum said yes,” Sirius rambled. “Fuck, I’d marry her if I could. She’s the best. Her cooking’s better the house elf’s and she’s a whole lot prettier than my mother.”

James gagged. “Don’t talk about my mum like that, Merlin. Disgusting,” he shuddered.

Sirius guffawed.

“It’ll be a big ass sleepover,” you jumped in, picking a hangnail. “Shit, we’ll all be over every weekend, Jamie. We’ll just be one big old happy family.”

Peter and Remus found your mindless babbling amusing, but for some reason Sirius did not.

“It’s not just a ‘big ass sleepover’,” Sirius told you. “It’s gonna be my life. Because, you know, I’m an outcast in my own home. Oh, and the constant torture whenever Mummy and Daddy think I have an attitude.”

You looked up, confused. “Fuckin’ hell, Sirius, I just said it would be fun-“

“It would be fun if you shut your fucking mouth for once.”

Sirius’s words made you stop in your tracks. “Rich coming from you, Mr. ‘Listen-To-My-Stories-Of-All-These-Girls-I-Fucked-Last-Night’,” you shot back. You tried to hide the hurt in your voice.

“Shut up, y/n! For once! Merlin’s balls,” Sirius yelled, throwing his hands up and striding away.

You watched him walk away, James jogging to catch up. Peter and Remus’s eyes jumped from you to Sirius’s retreating form. With a barely withheld sigh, you lifted the corners of your lips and shrugged. “He’ll cool off. He normally does… I’m gonna head to your common room. I’ll see you two later.”

“See you, y/n,” Peter replied. As you turned and headed to your friends’ common room, you blinked as fast as you walked.

🥃.

The third and final strike was that very same day. A few hours later, Peter and Remus returned to their common room to retrieve you for dinner. Your yellow robes were bright: illuminated by the fire as you curled into yourself and slept.

Remus gently woke you up. “Good morning, sleeping beauty,” he greeted coyly. “Dinner time.”

You needed and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. “Oh, shoot. I left my books in your room-“

“I’ll go get it,” Remus nodded. “I’m going to go get some more chocolate.”

Peter plopped down beside you. “Sirius is sorry,” he began. “I know he doesn’t look like it, but he is.”

You just leaned closer to your blond friend. “I’d like to hear it from him… But thank you, Pete.”

In response Peter hummed and rested his head on yours. His eyes watch the flickering orange flames dance in the fireplace as the both of you waited for Remus.

“Y/n.”

You turned towards the staircase and saw Remus standing with your reading materials in his hands. “Thanks, Moons. I apprecia-“

“So.”

You stiffened at Remus’s tone. You’d heart it before: cold, cruel, infuriated. “What’s wrong, Moony?”

Remus laughed darkly. “You eat the only food that keeps me sane before the full moon, send me up to get your books like a mutt, and then play innocent?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Remus turned to Peter. “The wanker ate all my fuckin’ chocolate! The whole fucking bucket I bought last week!”

You gape at Remus. “Yeah, Remus. I ate the whole fucking thing- I didn’t do it! I didn’t even know where your precious chocolate was! Besides, you know I prefer vanilla.” You scoffed at your last sentence. 

“Well who else would have eaten it!? Huh?”

Remus threw your books to the table. “How does it feel to have your stuff destroyed, huh?”

You wantes to scoff. It’s just bloody chocolate, for Merlin’s sakes! But you knew Remus got volatile before the full moon. You took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Leave my shit alone, Remus.”

“Fuck you, y/n! You and your pathetic Hufflepuff house! You lie just as good as a snake,” Remus sneered in your face. 

“Listen hear, Remus John Lupin,” you said lowly, grasping Remus’s tie and bringing his face to your level. “I’d rather sell a fuck than give one. Especially about your fucking chocolate. I didn’t touch your damn stash. If I did, I’d admit it. Secondly, toss around my books like that and I’ll kick your furry little ass so hard you’re gonna wear my fucking shoes as a hat. Thirdly, don’t you ever- and I mean ever- compare me to one of those two-faced, green wearing, white-haired snakes! I’m tired of being yelled at, Remus, and I think you can understand that feeling. But by God, if I have to deal with another one of your stupid fucking comments, I will rock your shit. I have brothers and uncles. Don’t fucking make me have this conversation again. And you can tell the rest of the boys exactly what I said because I’ll beat their egotistical asses too.”

You released Remus’s tie and stood up a little taller, ignoring his wide eyes and open mouth. You collected your books and smiled warmly at Peter who hadn’t said a word. “Bye Pete!”

“B-Bye, y/n,” he stuttered, waving.

[superkooku]

Favorite character from Greek mythology + favorite myth from Greek mythology?

Favorite characters

I'll turn this into a tag game : @margaretkart @dootznbootz @sarafangirlart @aliciavance4228 @katerinaaqu @hermesmoly @go-rocksquadsfan @sanska @vint-knight .

And @anon (you can give your answer in another ask 😉).

So, I have a loooooooot of faves. This list is long.

Here are mine :

Nobody. Yeah, in reality, I hate mythology and just pretend I like it. Or I just love making puns about my favorite lying war criminal. Who didn't cheat btw.

Penelope. These two are soulmates, no ifs or buts. I always found her underrated and @dootznbootz 's ramblings on her confirm that. Cunning and sassy half-naiad queen.

"The delian twins", as I like to call them. Idk I really love their multifaceted natures of protectors and deadly huntress/inflictor of illnesses (with an affinity towards plague). And their familial bond is precious. And I like them both equally, even though I talk about Apollo a bit more ig.

Leto. She's precious. They're always ready to defend each other. Like when Apollo and Artemis killed Niobe's kids because she was disrespectful to Leto. Or when Leto came in to save her son from being thrown in Tartarus by Zeus. Or when baby Artemis helped her mother deliver her brother. She fought for her children and now they fight for her.

Hestia. Too bad there isn't more about her because I relate a lot to the concept of chilling at home and staying away from drama.

Ariadne. Because of her family's tragic history, her healing from it with Dionysus (in most versions) and overall, she's great. Also, it's funny how Theseus wanted to marry a child of Zeus but his ex girlfriend actually succeeded 😂. Speaking of her family tragedy...

Asterius. I bet most adaptation authors don't know who I am referring to 🤣. He's a man-eating monster, yes, but he grew up isolated, trapped and unloved. I feel so bad for him.

Perseus. The GOAT. Partly thanks to @sarafangirlart. I already liked him since I always knew he wanted to save his mother, but he genuinely grew on me since I read her posts. That and when I learned of his war against Dionysus. Extremely underrated story.

Athena. Idk I don't think I need to elaborate on why she's cool.

Hades. In retellings, I often hate him because he's either woobified or made into "Greek Satan" (at least in Disney he's fun), but he's genuinely cool in mythology. Morally gray Hades save me.

Hermes. From birth, he was always a little trickster. I love how many functions he has (messenger of the gods, god of merchants, thieves, communication, also a psychopomp btw). A very energetic and helpful god.

Asclepius. I think I should make a post explaining why he's great because, yeah, I don't talk much about him even though there are things to say (yeah it's because I did a lot of research on him).

And... finally... Dionysus 🤣. Of course he made it in this list. I dedicated a whole essay series about this god, come on !

Honorable mentions : Hector, Andromache, Menelaus, Demeter, Telemachus, Hephaestus, Hippolytus, Danae, Ares and many others.

Favorite myths/plays/poems

I already answered that but can't find the post. So I'll do it again, with some new answers in mind. Basically "the myths with the characters on the list".

It's either because they're that compelling or just hilarious.

The homeric cycle. Ok, an easy one.

The Bacchae by Euripides (mandatory reading if you want to understand Dionysus imo. No excuses).

The frogs by Aristophanes. Because it's funny.

Asclepius' story. Seriously I'll elaborate on it one day.

Hermes' birth story. Him stealing Apollo's cows and Apollo getting mad at his scallywag of a brother 🤣🤣. And then just him winning Apollo over with the lyre.

Pirithous and Theseus getting their asses stuck on a chair (yes this is my title for this story). I love to mock these two, especially Pirithous because... give this man a Darwin award please. No thoughts and no survival instincts in his brain 😂.

Orpheus and Eurydice. Simple but powerful.

The Argonautica. Aka a huge crossover. Seeing more interactions between all these heroes would be awesome (especially if we take every version into account 👀. So many faces...). It's funny how I love the Argonautica but never talk about Jason himself 🤣🤣. The embodiment of the protagonist who's less interesting than the other characters.

Perseus' war against Dionysus. A potential retelling about this myth would go so hard !! Especially since we could get a scary Dionysus. Hopefully it doesn't get ruined :(

Edit : some English mistakes I had to correct.

[one-squash-one-end]

I wrote a giant Raven Cycle analysis

Hi! Over the last year or so I've been working on a sort of essay about various themes in the raven cycle series, and I finally finished it a few weeks ago.

It is titled: "Why I love The Raven Cycle - An excessive analysis of the themes of friendship, queerness and growing up".

And since tumblr loves its meta (and bc I love peer validation) I've decided to start uploading it bit by bit here, making this the masterpost (if I can figure out the logistics of the linking lmao, bear with me)

(beware of spoilers up to greywaren starting at like 3b!)

Introduction

What even is the Raven Cycle?

Trust me, the characters are queer as fuck and I can prove it a) Blue Sargent b) Gansey c) Adam Parrish d) Ronan Lynch e) Noah f) Henry Cheng g) Honorary mentions

The Gangsey is a polycule

Analyzing the reoccurring themes a) Friendship b) Being a teen/growing up c) (Found) Family d) Magic (as a metaphor) e) Further themes I appreciate

Drawing a conclusion

Click here to start with the introductory parts!

1. Introduction

So here’s the thing: I love fiction almost as much as I love my friends. There’s something deeply comforting about the escapism, even if the book actually makes me want to scream and throw it on the floor (only one book has been thrown so far, I promise!).  Fiction is a healthy thing to occupy my thoughts with: headcanons! Quotes being on loop in my brain! Just fandoms!

And for me, if I am hooked on a book (series), it does not even need a good plot where a lot of things happen. In fact, I would say that my enjoyment of a book is made up of 30% plot and about 70% characters and vibes. If the characters are bland, if they do not make me feel much emotion, it likely won’t be more than 4 stars (additional info: I am way too nice rating books!). I really, really need to love the characters, to be able to relate to some aspects of them, or it just won’t become an obsession.

Since I have already started explaining that a bit, let’s look at this question: What is important to make a book special to me? 1. I need to cry reading it. 2. I have to think about it often, even weeks to months after having read it. 3. Obviously, I need to love the characters. 4. I need to be in the fandom! This can be hard with some books, but the internet is a whimsical space allowing you to find at least a small number of people who are obsessed with a work of fiction to a similar extent as you are.

Now, why am I elaborating on this so much? It’s because The Raven Cycle did all that for me. It is my favorite comfort book series at the moment, for all those aspects mentioned, but of course I cannot just leave it at that. No, I wrote a whole-ass analysis on headcanons and some of its themes. You’re welcome.

2. What even is The Raven Cycle?

The Raven Cycle is all I adore and live for (next to my friends). So, naturally, it’s a book series, specifically a four book young adult contemporary fantasy series by American author Maggie Stiefvater. The books in question are: The Raven Boys (2012), The Dream Thieves (2013), Blue Lily, Lily Blue (2014) and The Raven King (2016), and yes I will admit that the publishing dates are a bit of a red flag. There is also the very relevant follow-up series called The Dreamer Trilogy (Call Down The Hawk, Mister Impossible, Greywaren), but it’s a lot less easy to get into that here as I do not know these entire books by heart, so I’ll stick to the original tetralogy here.

To stick to red flags, the books are set in the fictional Henrietta, a rural town in non-fictional Virginia, US, in the 2010s. However, that doesn’t really say *that* much about the plot, so let me summarize that really quick, because I can do better than the official synopsis! (Or let’s pretend I can.)

Blue Sargent comes from a family of psychics, yet she does not have any powers of her own. Even worse, she is a bit of an amplifier for the others, meaning she is always somehow but never directly involved in the business. As if that isn’t enough for an identity crisis, every psychic she has ever met has told her that her kiss would kill her true love. Yikes.

But because she is that amplifier, she comes to a church watch on St. Mark’s Eve, where psychics see the spirits of those to die within the following year. It’s important business, but to her it’s really just staring into the dark. Until she does actually see a spirit: That of Gansey. Of course this is not a coincidence. No, to add to this teen’s mount of problems, there are only two reasons why a non-seer would see someone’s spirit: They are their true love, or they killed them. Or, in Blue’s case, maybe both.

The aforementioned Gansey is Henrietta’s Golden Boy, the son of politicians (read: he’s fucking loaded). He does not run with the Republicans though, he runs with dead Welsh kings, meaning he has been searching for the probably dead, presumably sleeping Welsh king Glendower (*1350; †1416; yikes) for the past like seven years. Why the fuck would he do that? Well, legend says that he will grant a wish to whoever wakes him, and our favorite PTSD-ridden guy really wants that favor.

Aiding him are fellow Aglionby students Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch and Noah Czerny, plus Henry Cheng, though only a lot later in the series, but I really did not want to leave out that menace (affectionately) here. The paths of Blue and the boys cross because of Gansey’s search for Glendower, plus the fact that Blue works at a popular pizza place, but that’s a lot less whimsical. And, well, there’s the implication that Gansey might also be her true love, but perhaps she just kills him because of his bad fashion sense, it would be justified. Anyway, in true Famous Five fashion (Ronan is the dog; I won’t elaborate, the girls that get it, get it) they are of course not the only ones searching for the king, so it’s not completely a wholesome friend bonding activity all the way through.

Be prepared for: friendship and growing up, lots of treasure hunting, family mysteries, magical forests, illegal and slightly distasteful activities (our favorite of course), but most of all, heavily queer-coded (or even canonically queer) characters. Be Gay, Do Crime.

[ianthoni]

Listen, Anthony's IG stories be about unconditional love and whatnot. I don't give a flying rats ass, they're about Ian 😎

LISTEN whenever i share my thoughts ppl call me crazy. But hear me out. I'm running an update account (@ian-anthonyupdates ) and im following his stories since december. And i believe all his stories about destiny/finding the true love/unconditional love/universe/sun-moon coded, fire and water coded stories are about Ian. And i have a ten pics limit so im gonna show a little bit whats in my head. (Check spirituality/lover boy tags in my updates profile you're gonna see what i mean i think half of them are related to Ian if not most) (the unconditional love videos he share is gonna be last)

Starting from his art pieces and their connection to Ian. This post was shared on the night of eclipse. For you guys to fully understand this whole interaction i need to start from the beginning of the day. Ian shared he watched the eclipse that day. He sharing a meme and a shadow of the eclipse (I'm gonna explain more in the next part) and then Anthony shared the red painting you can see at the back. Around the same time. That was Ian's FIRST ever comment in Anthony's painting account. He also followed Anthony's painting page and said 'this one was my favorite one so far'. And that night Anthony shared this heart, with the painting Ian liked at the back. Heart with an eye in it. Now eye is a keyword for us remember that it's gonna come up later in this essay lmao also noticed the tray in the table? Yeah it is coming in now.

Now here is the part tray comes in. That first tray is Anthony's tray. We can see it on the story he shared from the same day. And the eclipse story is Ian's story, he was watching the eclipse. Did you notice something? It is Anthony's tray, theyre watching the eclipse together. Now you may say that tray didnt come out in the factory as one piece. But remember it is from the same day. And its up to you if you believe it or not im just giving my observation. And remember this is the same day he liked Anthony's painting and followed his account. It is very very possible that they were together and maybe he even watched Anthony while he is painting.

After that watching the eclipse story. Anthony made an eclipse painting. Very obviously the sun hugging the moon. I love sun and moon ianthony stories because Anthony himself said Ian is like the sun. And we all know the romantic meaning of moon and sun, how sun illuminates the moon, how moon is in love with the sun and always around it. So it fits them. And Anthony shared this painting a few times after he did it which he was not doing that at the time. Like he wanted someone to see it and like it, comment on it like he did before with the red painting. But it didnt happen sadly :/ (this also might be the reason of instagram drama but im not opening that can of worms)

Now the EYES. Anthony and his obsession with blue eyes. This is definitely coming from looong before (i.e all his past gfs being blue eyed) but you know who's the first blue eye he met? Yeah you guessed it right. Ian. It doesnt even have to be love, but i think ian's eyes was always a safe place to him, something warm and remind him home and makes him feel happy cause Ian makes him happy. And he always complimented ian's eyes, how theyre beautiful and whenever Ian wears blue he always mention it, he even said "your eyes are out of this word" in Jared Leto live stream. So he loves blue eyes of a special person. And if you noticed before he loves drawing them too, either just blue pupils or full blue eyes but there's a couple of them. I'm specifically sharing this one cause he put a secret message in this. "I see the universe in your eyes" he shared lots of stuff about universe and destiny and love. And talked about him and Ian meeting again was universes job/ destiny. So i think he is associating Ian with the destiny/universe/galaxies stuff. NOW whats MORE interesting is Ian shared that story 7 hours after Anthony shared his painting... Interesting right. Oh btw Anthony always share his painting steps but he didnt share the i see the universe in your eyes. Like its a secret message just for one person to get it. And that person get it and send his own message back.

To accompany the eclipse painting, he used two songs, one that talked about a "longing" and another that was called Bliss and was the same piece that was playing in another story he shared that was about "consciousness observing the feeling of falling in love". (Which makes the romantic connotation of the eclipse painting undeniable). To make it even more interesting the same day he posted that eclipse painting he posted a picture of himself in lan's office, under a tapestry depicting a sun.

Ok this is getting SO LONG. But stay with me. The first one the hug. I shared that the hug looks exactly like their hugs. This is not obviously just that. The caption is more important. "Our differences makes us complete. Anthony talked about Ian and him being opposites in multiple videos till now. They're like water and fire, sun and moon, yin and yang. But this doesnt change the fact that they always find each other. If anything they're so happy with it now. They're getting along more than before.

Well do i have to say anything? Friendship always wins.

Again water and fire hugging allegory. I love that he's thinking of each other like that. He also make comments about Ian bringing the fire, also the fact that he's sun literally fire ball. Ian's favorite movie rrr had water/sun allegory. So it is obv to me he thinks of them when it's about opposites falling. Oh and he also have a "in order to live life we need fire" tattoo.

This one is so funny cause i didnt get it until they talk in the live stream. He talked about how he saw Ian going for a walk and he said can I join you too? And ofc Ian said yes and they went for a walk around together. He literally shared this the day Ian and him go for a walk together 😭 he said life is pretty good actually after spending time with Ian is so🥺

This was also from the same day he went on a walk with Ian. I think it fits. Watch hot tub live stream for the full walk story.

This was the day after they spend time together, going for a walk, shooting day. He missed someone.

Tbh this is pretty self explanatory too. He did see Ian as coming home, a safe place, like turning back home after a Kong tiring day, just like he did with meeting with Ian again and glowing with him each passing day.

Well Ian is pretty LMAO and i don't see he's posting this about someone new. Like idk 🤷🏻

Again the unconditional love theme. He share a lot of stuff about this actually. I think it fits them. He loves Ian without a reason.

People think the first one is about someone new. Cause of the way it says "and then one day someone walks into your life" like someone walks into his life just now. But i see this as him remembering their first meet. How Ian walked into his life that very day in 6th grade and how he changed his life completely. Anthony is so talented don't get me wrong but if they're smosh now, if he is Anthony Padilla™ now its because of Ian. Ian was with him from the very beginning. He was helping him, encouraging him, supporting him when he was a shy lil teen in front of the camera. I think Ian is the one that walking in his life and completely changing it in the best way possible.

Unconditional love, a theme he is posting about very occasionly. Since we're that deep and ppl already call me delulu im just gonna write what i write to friends when i see his unconditional love stories.

Unconditional love means he would love him without expecting anything in return. This doesn't mean there's no love returning back to him but means he would love him even if there wasn't. Even if Ian didn't hug him enough or kiss him enough or share him with the world the way he wants it. He'd still love him. Cause his love is unconditional. He doesn't need any of this. He still loves him without getting to shout out to the world.

He is meaning he would love him for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish. This is basically a wedding wow. It doesnt mean he thinks Ian wont make him laugh or he is not beautiful or hes poor, no he means even if he had nothing he'd still love him. Hence the unconditional. They loved each other when they were little boy's that have nothing and look like little gremlins. And i think its not gonna go away soon.

Oh also did you notice something? The very beginning of the video. Is basically the same as the ornament in Ian's room. With a bright and rising sun in it : )

Ok bye love y'all 💖

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

every once in a while, i have an urge to sit down and write an entire essay about The Purge franchise, specifically through the frame of reactions from people who either have not watched the movies or watched them while pissing on the poor.

because oh my fucking god do those reactions send me into a violent tailspin of irrational anger.

"the purge doesn't make logistical sense"

okay so have you ever heard of fiction? the train in snowpiercer doesnt make logistical sense either. it doesnt have to because its a vehicle in which to tell a story.

"people wouldnt just commit violent crimes because its legal now."

no they wouldnt. do you know that the first movie takes place on the 6th purge? do you know that story about frogs and boiling water?

"no one would ever agree to this. politicians couldnt implement this."

yeah so the fourth movie - The First Purge - is actually a prequel that explains how and why it got implemented.

see as a result of a general economic crisis, a new political party called the NFFA (new founding fathers of america) came to power, and two years into their political term, they ran "an experiment" and that experiment was the purge. the first purge took place on staten island; residents were offered $5000 to participate which comprised staying on staten island and letting the government put a tracking chip in your arm. there was also the opportunity of making more money if they "participated further."

people didnt all agree with this. thats a whole ass thing in the movie and the protagonist literally leads protests against it. it is a controversial thing. the NFFA literally have a sociologist as the face of it, one who talks to news reporters and assures people she and the experiment are apolitical.

the experiment is also fucking rigged. the government really send in roves of neo-nazis to kill citizens as a way of showing how "successful" the experiment is. it was never an experiment.

"but why would people believe that the purge is a good policy?

have you ever heard of propaganda?

throughout the films, there are constant displays of the propaganda the NFFA use to keep the citizens believing in the purge.

the NFFA are constantly lying to the citizens about the actual truth about the country. they often talk about how the stock market is doing great as evidence of a stable economy. there are fake experts in white lab coats lying to you about the purge being a good idea.

these movies are not subtle. they tell you outright that the government is lying to the people.

jesus fucking christ, in the third movie, part of the plot is the fact that in response to corruption being revealed, people are turning against the purge and protesting. dante bishop is a goddamn anti-purge activist.

"crime rate year round wouldnt go down because of the purge, that doesnt make sense "

yeah no shit sherlock. thats literally a defining theme in the entireass franchise. the government is lying. they actually use the purge as population control because theyre fascists.

in the first movie, the NFFA claim the country is basically crime-free and that the unemployment rate is 1%. do you think james demonaco wrote that with the intention of you believing it to be true? have you considered that maybe you were meant to be like huh, thats suspicious?

the first movie is the least overtly political, but one of the defining themes is in regards to the performative nature of the purge and the way it is mythologised.

"all crime is legal. so what, can i commit tax fraud?"

the rules of the purge are made up of. the entire idea is performative. the NFFA are not beholden to these rules; if it benefits them (or if not doing so poses risk to them), they will arrest you for "crimes" you committed during the purge.

in the third movie, The Purge: Election Year, they change the rules because of the risk charlie roan poses to them. roan is a senator running for president on an explicitly anti-purge platform and there is a very good chance that she will win the election, so they revoke the immunity (its still illegal to murder them) granted to government officials during the purge because they plan to kill her.

the NFFA do not care what citizens do during the purge, as long as it is not threatening to them.

"how would they even know if you killed someone an hour after the purge ended?"

they wouldnt. they also wouldnt care.

see above.

"the purge is stupid. people arent inherently violent."

no. no theyre not. thats the fucking point of these films.

they are not subtle films. they come with a free portable toilet so you can watch them without pissing on the poor.

what did you think the plots of these movies were? if the movies were not directly engaging with the concept of the purge and what it actually means, what the fuck do you think the movies are about? do you think the movies are just 90 minutes of indiscriminate violence?

[omppupiiras]

my long & rambly thoughts about People's Champion the album 🍄‍🟫

Ready To Go.. ahh, first I have to make a confession that my first impression of this song was basically "..that's it?". But in my defence it was in the middle of the night & I was not maybe in the most receptive mood. 😂

but then over the course of a few days I went from "ok maybe i like it actually" all the way to "WAIT. it is a bop and also WHY AM I GETTING EMOTIONAL OVER IT? 😭😭" I could write a whole ass post about all my ready to feels and thoughts. It is, of course, about how Jere's ready to go. He doesn't care if the shoes he's stepping into are too big for him, he doesn't care that people don't believe in him. He knows that people only want to see him fail and are waiting to say "I told you so" when it happens. But he doesn't care about any of that because HE believes in himself. He's not giving up and he's going to give it his all and hell, this whole thing COULD blow up in his face but he doesn't care. He's ready to GO.

(and there's also something very naive and bittersweet about ready to go to me, he's giving this thing his all and throwing himself into it with eyes wide open, believing and trusting and full of expectations, but he doesn't actually know or understand where this road will take him. he will actually succeed beyond his or anyone else's wildest dreams, but there's no way he could have known before it happened how much it would cost him)

and ofc CCC coming immediately after ready to go is absolutely PERFECT placement!! I immediately became obsessed with the idea of the story this album was going to tell when we got the album art and title, and OH BOY. They did not disappoint!!

Because speaking of this album telling a story, next we have Tavavoltti. On first listen it's kind of a light-hearted funny song with fun sounds. But it following CCC makes one realize that hey. Wait. Oh. It's actually saying so much about his experiences after CCC. Like with ready to go i could write a darn essay about this song but.. it's about him being unable to say no. It's about him being the funny guy, and hey, funny guys can't not be happy, right?

(Täst roolista ryydyn, mut hymy ei hyydy

Oon syypää suun hymyyn, siks rooliini tyydyn

Everybody wants something from him and they don't mind tearing him apart to get it. And he's got everything a person could want, right? Surely? He's definitely not supposed to complain, so he resigns himself to the role of a circus monkey, the masochist that he is, and pushes himself to his absolute limits. (not to say that this song is all sad bc it's not! the chorus IS hopeful though maybe in a slightly melancholy way) but ONCE AGAIN a song that sounds like a bop is actually way more deep and meaningful than it has any right to be!! 😭

playing this role exhausts me, but my smile doesn't slip

i'm the reason for your smile, and that's why i accept my role)

and whew speaking of being a masochist, next we have ruoska. damn. DAMN. this album, man. i love ruoska moving on

Kot Kot, kot kot. This song boldly starts off with "mayday", and isn't that a choice? To me Kot Kot is about Jere needing help but he hasn't admitted that to himself yet. He has given away so much of himself yet he doesn't understand why he feels so empty now. The partying and drinking don't really help but it's all he knows how to do.

Skit immediately following Kot Kot kills me DEAD. It makes both of these songs desperately sad. In Kot Kot, he needs help. In Skit, he's asking for it and being dismissed. My theory is that the therapist in Skit represents how difficult it was for him to reach out for help or even to have people who understand. How could he even explain to someone how something so amazing can be so terrible? Does anyone even care to hear that, to listen to him talk about it? His problems aren't normal people problems, anymore.

Autiomaa, autiomaa, autiomaa. I loved Autiomaa from the first snippet he shared and the full song did not disappoint. Bye bye my old favorite Käärijä song Menestynyt Yksilö, Autiomaa has taken your place. 😭 Seems like I have a theme going on lol, I love songs where he gets real and personal, and in Autiomaa he does that on a whole new level.

I love that he was brave enough to write Autiomaa and bold enough to make sure people understood Autiomaa is a big deal to him. He wanted to share his feelings and be understood and heard. The music video is such a piece of art and besides being so emotional this song is just so damn GOOD. He's such a master of the finnish language in the way he writes lyrics.

I love sex = money and of course in true käärijä style it's a bop but it also says something very real with its lyrics. but hey! sex sells! better get selling then

bananas is the song i have the least feelings & thoughts about haha. I like all the foodstuff lyrics but that's about it 😂 maybe i will have more feelings about it when i hear it live

next we have Huhhahhei and I must confess.. it's not for me fam. I don't like it. 🙈 I can't put this into words in any way that makes sense, but to me Huhhahhei is different to every other Käärijä song. The lyrics are generic in a way that almost makes it feel like this song is about nothing at all. I don't see it as a love song either, to me the lyrics are just saying words to say them without really meaning anything. so for that reason to me Huhhahhei is the song that fits on this album the least.

icip kind of feels like a breath of fresh air in the album - it's crazy it's party, life is life. things aren't so doom and gloom anymore. with its placement in the album it feels like jere accepts all the good and the bad and now he has learned to enjoy being an artist again. he's had a hell of a party that he couldn't escape, maybe he lost his mind a little along the way, but he made it out to the other side. ta-da, ta-da, ta-da...

and lastly, People's Champion. It's a lovely song and a perfect song to end the album with. but i have written so many words now i dont have much left for people's champion dgdfgldf but i love it a lot and im so glad jere won the battle for this to be included bc truly, what would this album be without this song??

[seri-tonin]

BSD Chapter 119 Analysis

Bookmarks, dimensions, minkowski spaces... what the fuck does it all mean?? This chapter dumped a whole lot of information on us without really answering any of our questions, so this is my attempt to hopefully break some of it down for you and explain my theories on it.

Everything under the cut cause I wrote a whole ass essay

The Tiger is a Bookmark?

This chapter started off strong by giving us what's probably one of the more confusing concepts in the series (which is saying a lot...). Fyodor finally gave some hints as to the true nature of the tiger, but he did it in the most cryptic way possible.

I have a few theories in mind for what he could've meant by this. My immediate thought ties back to the fact that the tiger is considered to be a "guide" to the book. It's something we've known for awhile, but from the beginning we've assumed that that means it's a guide to finding the book itself. However, comparing the tiger to a bookmark - something that helps you know where you are in a book - makes me think that the tiger might be a guide in the sense that it can navigate between the different worlds that we know exist within the book, such as the Beast universe.

The second theory that I came up with is that maybe the tiger functions as some sort of anchor. A bookmark holds your place in a book, so the tiger "holds" the world and keeps it where it's at. (This is honestly the weakest theory of the three but I figured I'd include it anyways)

And my friend (shout-out to @musical-ghostie) came up with the third theory, that Fyodor's breaking the fourth wall right now. When he refers to the tiger as the bookmark, he could be talking about the fact that he's the protagonist, the one we experience the story through, or (similar to my first theory) the audience's guide to this world. This would also explain why Fyodor was so disgusted by the fact that it's Atsushi who has the tiger ability. Atsushi, who's selfish and pathetic and nothing like how you'd imagine a typical protagonist to be (this is not a diss at all on Atsushi's character by the way, I love the fact that he's written like this). I'm particularly attached to this interpretation, because it would fit so well with my "Asagiri is a character and god and the creator of the book" theory, but I'm not gonna get into that here (maybe it'll get it's own post sometime).

This theory is also backed up by this panel where Fyodor describes the tiger as the "emotional hearth" of the world, which would make sense if he was referring to the fact that Atsushi, as the protagonist, is the main aspect of the story that keeps the audience emotionally invested - because we're the most connected to his emotions specifically.

Ame-no-gozen and Minkowski Space

Shout-out to Bungou Stray Dogs for being the only series that I love enough that I'm willing to research an advanced physics concept just to be able to understand the story a bit better.

In this chapter, Fyodor gives us this explanation on how the divine being functions the way it does:

That's... pretty confusing, isn't it? So, I did a little bit of research into what a Minkowski space is, and here's my understanding: it's essentially a theoretical plane where time functions the same as space. Basically, the divine being is able to go wherever it wants in time, forward and backwards, instead of being stuck only ever going forward in time at the same consistent rate like the rest of us. (Disclaimer: I have never taken a physics class in my life, so my interpretation of what a Minkowski space is could be way off. Feel free to tell me in the notes if you know!!)

That said, I don't think the extent of ame-no-gozen's power is just being able to freely move through space and time, but I think it's also able to manipulate the (metaphorical) shape that space and time take. Fyodor even specifically refers to it as manipulating space in this panel:

He only refers to space in this panel, but I think it's safe to assume that the being has the same power over time, since it's able to interact with time in the same way that it interacts with space.

Parallels to Chapter 4

I'm sure we all recognized the reference to Akutagawa's iconic "Fear death. Fear slaughter" speech he gives when he's first introduced. This of course made me go back and reread chapter four, where he gives the original speech, and I noticed another parallel that I hadn't thought of immediately.

In chapter four, Akutagawa tells Atsushi in no uncertain terms that it is his fault that his colleagues, Junichiro and Naomi, are presumably dead. He explains to him that they were targeted because of the fact that Atsushi possesses the power of the tiger, and therefore he was the one who brought suffering to them.

Now some of what Fyodor said in the newest chapter is starting to sound really familiar... In this chapter, Fyodor tells Atsushi almost the exact same thing. That his friends are presumably dead and it's his fault, because he has the power of the tiger and could've prevented it.

I would be willing to chalk this up to just both being villains targeting Atsushi's insecurities and not really a parallel, if it weren't for the fact that chapter four gets much more explicitly referenced later in this chapter with the whole "fear death, fear slaughter" thing. Chapter four being referenced multiple times makes me believe it's intentional. I have a feeling that either Atsushi or Akutagawa (or both) will soon have a moment that really displays how much they've grown since their first meeting in chapter four, which is why it's being referenced now.

Other Thoughts + Conclusion

I'm sure if you're reading this, you were probably hoping I'd have something to say about Akutagawa's appearance, but honestly I can't say I have anything that hasn't been said by someone else already. Currently I'm leaning towards the theory that he's still under Bram's influence to some extent. Although, I also like the possibility that's been pointed out that maybe he does actually recognize Atsushi, but is just being dramatic and metaphorical and trying to tell him that he's not acting like the Atsushi he's come to know. I don't think this one is super likely, but it would be in-character for Akutagawa for sure.

Uhh but yeah, I think that's all the thoughts I have right now, but I'd love it if anyone wants to discuss some of this with me! Thank you so much for reading all this if you got this far, I hope it makes enough sense...