#But it warms my heart all the same
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amethystina · 24 days ago
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Hey there, so sorry to hear about your loss, and sorry that this year has been so hard on you as a whole. I know nothing I can say will make things better, so I’m just popping by out of the void of the internet to offer you the virtual equivalent of a cup of tea (or other beverage of your choice) ☕️
A few summers ago I lost one of my grandparents, and after what had been a very long day a friend of mine gave me a piece of advice that I’ve yet to forget. “Go home”, she said, “And have a nice hot chocolate, or hot honey and lemon drink. It will fix absolutely nothing, but it will taste good, and even on our worst days, that’s worth something.”
That is to say, I know I say to take care all the time, but I double mean it now. Try not to worry about us too much, and take whatever time you need. 💜
And before you say I don’t have to pop in and say this, I know that! I don’t have to, but I want to, and I can, so there. :)
Thank you so much 💜
I admit that this year has been more of a rollercoaster than I would have liked. I had very high hopes in terms of how much I would write, draw, and do, but a lot of that hasn't been possible with all of the complications I'm facing. And I'm just really, really tired of it because, in many ways, it feels like I keep making excuses. That, surely, people must get tired of hearing about all the tragedies in my life that, supposedly, make me unable to post fics or function like a normal human being. Surely it must be exaggerated.
Which is a terrible thing to say to yourself, by the way — I'm well aware of that. But knowing that doesn't quite stop the thoughts from popping up, unfortunately. My brain is trying to find someone to blame for all this shit and, unfortunately, I'm the closest, most convenient target.
So thank you for sending this ask. It might not fix the loss itself, but it's incredibly comforting — and humbling — to know that there are people out there who care enough about me to send me messages like this. It feels surreal, almost, but in a good way? And I'm just so very grateful.
And I'll keep that advice in mind. It's a very good one — and very true. And I'm so sorry for your loss, too. I lost both of my remaining grandparents back in 2022 and it was rough. Losing someone you love always is.
So I try to be as patient with myself as I can. Which right now means spending the majority of my time reading fanfics, most of them from fandoms that I haven't touched in ten years. I guess I might be looking for something familiar and comforting? So yeah. Lots of reading.
But I also think about you all a lot and wish I could post chapters and such, because I know you all love them and the thought of being able to make others happy when I'm sad is... well, it would be pretty nice, you know? I like making other people happy. It's just how I'm wired.
But, that said, I trust you when you say I don't have to worry too much. And I trust that my readers mean it when they tell me to take things easy and put my health first. And that, too, is something I'm very grateful for. The kindness, patience, and support I get from you all truly is mindblowing.
So I won't say that you don't have to tell me all of this and will instead just thank you for doing so. It means a lot to me and did make me feel a lot better. Thank you 💜
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ruporas · 1 year ago
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captain's warm hugs! (id in alt)
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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beetlethebug · 4 days ago
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consider,,,a lucanis who is in love with emmrich, a spite who is in love with rook, a rook in love with emmrich, and emmrich who is in love with all three but wants lucanis, spite, and rook to get together because he feels he is not the type of man any of them deserve...
bonus points for spite being the one to realize just what sort of love quadrilateral is going on and is the one to get them all together.
#the angst potential alone#if i can convince my brain to write something other than smut i will in fact consider writing this#JUST. THEM BEING SO MESSY.#SPITE REALIZING THAT EMMRICH IS GETTING CLOSER TO LUCANIS TO TRY AND SWAY ROOK INTO FALLING FOR THEM#LUCANIS REALIZING THAT EMMRICH IS IN LOVE WITH ROOK AND DECIDING EMMRICH'S HAPPINESS IS MORE IMPORTANT#SO HE CONSIGNS HIMSELF TO HIS UNHAPPINESS#Rook could also be in love with all three in this scenario but i think it'd be SO FASCINATING for it to be Emmrich!!#Emmrich lamenting that he found the people he loves at a time he believes to be too late#consigning himself to a bachelor's life. he has his studies he has manfred he's content#and then he meets lucanis who is EXACTLY the type of man he fancied as a young man#Someone with so much heart but some rougish charm. appearing cold but so fucking warm under the surface. misunderstood perhaps#the same way he and death are#and so he is smitten. taken by this man and his watchful eye and his steady hands. fascinated by the demon living inside him#the demon who is so curious about this world. who craves to live and understand and emmrich who at his core wants nothing more than to TEAC#and rook. gods emmrich not having the same instant attraction as he did to lucanis but it all hitting him in the chest one night#reckless rook who takes blows they could have dodged to protect him. who always treats his necromancy with respect and curiosity#rook who always reaches out to touch him but stops their hand just shy of making contact. rook who is uncertain but willing to try#rook who is YOUNG and full of possibility and deserves more than whatever shell emmrich believes himself to be#i am just!!!!!!! do you see my VISION#something can happen here!! i'm fucking telling ya'll!!!!!#emmrich volkarin#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age rook#dragon age veilguard#lucanis x emmrich#lucanis x rook#spite x rook#emmrich x rook#emmrich x lucanis#emmrich x rook x lucanis
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evilkaeya · 9 months ago
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Oh he means the world to me
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emborami · 2 months ago
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Through the years, from popinjay to coxcomb to maccaroni to dandy to dude
#and from dude to gigolo if i have anything to say about it#baby i can the sweet mama to your sad and lonesome#this was so fun to draw my favorite hobby is historical fashion#are ​they accurate? not answering that. i refuse to draw codpieces#at my heart i am unfortunately a coward#i know i gave dandy kayne a short haircut at first but then i remembered all the mullets ive been seeing and i had to give it a try#i hope it looks like he as having fun throughout the eras <3#malevolent#kayne malevolent#but anyays like i as saying theres no ay king is appearing regularly in a three piece suit and not bringing that energy to#every other century#and i almost drew him in like plate armor but if he’s like snapping his fingers and ppl explode bro is not gonna get a suit of armor#that was wishful thinking on my part i remedied it he dresses like a bourgeoise i have to accept it#if i did this with the yellow king it would be like 5 inages of the same dude copied and pasted#i started giving the yellow king a pennanular brooch and even then i as like whoah thats kinda lavish for john#i dunno maybe i should fuck around with his robes and try some stuff out#hmmmmmmm i do like jewelry……….#new project: project runway but with john doe#and then eventually ill help poor arthur out#tho honestly i think he really probably dos have an eye for quality clothing i think he’s probably respectably fashionable but he#cares more abt quality#id love to put my boy in a fishermans sweater tho i feel like he needs something warm and sturdy on his journeys <3
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reksink · 4 months ago
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More Blood, All for End of Month Bragging Rights Characters Belong To: Isogod, eternaletarstorm, neuroticartist, & RatManArtwork 💚
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ninyard · 5 months ago
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Nin I’m here to yell at you and shake you by the shoulders and tell you I love you. Post whatever the fuck you want. And I get it, I get the not feeling like you’re posting anything entertaining or that people don’t want to see want you post, I fucking get it. I know it’s not as easy as saying fuck em and telling you your stuff is good but your stuff is really really good. And you’re one of my favorite people I’ve met on here and I’m so glad I know you. Your writing is incredible, has made me sob. I love hearing your thoughts on different aftg theories, headcanons, etc. And obviously your social media posts are incredible and so funny even if you don’t think they are right now. I love you
You’re so sweet jo I love you im not even joking you’re too nice to me!!!! Ahh!!!! Just know that I appreciate you to the ends of this earth my friend and I’m really really glad to know you
Your words mean a lot to me man you don’t even know how grateful I am for you <3
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faaun · 7 months ago
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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fog-n-dance · 4 months ago
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« STAR WARS REPUBLIC COMMANDO : HARD CONTACT » IS FINALLY MINE !!
Boy I can’t wait to read it and the entire Republic Commando series !! From Karen Traviss, I have only "read" « The Clone Wars », quote-unquote as it was an audiobook, but I enjoyed her writing style. I’m excited to give it a visual try, although I have a feeling I’m gonna enjoy it a lot !
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agalychnisspranneusroseus · 17 days ago
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re: raised in amphibia marcy who is nothing but the cores host
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beyond the psychological stuff im also thinking about the physical. the evil science possibilities. im just like. canonically its hinted that the core did stuff to marcys body just in the few months it had her to make its vessel more suitable. the plug ports that were apparently in her limbs bc otherwise she would be getting stabbed by those things. "this thing needs some calibration" about marcys body??? what did it mean by that??? and like u mention her being wired up to it in the original ask
anyways im up here thinking abt how much it mightve done to her if it had her for that long. if it had the same plug things installed in her limbs as she seemed to in canon shed probably need replacements if they happened when she was young enough and grew significantly since then.
also my mom used to work in the brain-computer interface industry and well. to get really any level of highly detailed or accurate data, let alone on the scale youd need to fully interface with the entire brain, you would absolutely need to have direct access to the brain rather than trying to go through the skull. theres no way this girl doesnt have a port of some kind implanted in her head for the core to directly connect to her brain.
hell maybe it doesnt wanna deal with biological organs and the problems that might arise from them. no big deal itll just have them replaced!
Aaaaagh dude i love your asks. Galaxy brain asks from my galaxy friend mutual.
Anyway. Yes i I have thought quite a bit about Marcy's whole deal. What Andrias cares about is her brainnnn that blob of grey matter that's somehow a biological supercomputer. He has no qualms in eventually getting rid of the body and keeping the brain in a jar, immortalized as an invaluable piece of hardware with the help of some shadowfish biotechnology (shhh lemme tell you a secret: he actually does care for her and love her and takes no joy in hurting her. He just doesn't love her enough to save her :3). Anyway, unfortunately, when he found this thing, her brain was surprisingly underseveloped. He had a vague awareness that the unfortunate coincidence of bipedism and viviparity so characteristic of homo sapiens resulted in them giving birth to useless, half-developed fetuses (as opposed to fully mature, egg-born pollywogs), but surely, by age three, a human would be more mature, right? He checked his archives on alien biology and, indeed, no. An average human's brain isn't fully developed until around age 25. Marcy may be smart, but she's still, by all accounts, a homo sapiens pollywog. He consults the Core. The Core wants a host. They want a body, and they want this brain. They will do with just the brain, is Andrias is too useless to secure them the body, but even if they're willing to wait for another body (stronger, bigger, more amphibian) to come around eventually, they know it won't work as well as with the original brain-body combination.
He decides to raise Marcy to be 25. He keeps her mind sharp and body healthy, or as healthy as possible. She undergoes many week-long sessions unconscious and connected to all sorts of wires as tubes. It's so normal for her, that by age 6 she knew how to get on top of the plataform or into the tank without falling, and how to put on her own oxygen mask. She always woke up feeling weak and hungry when it was over, and with one killer headache, but her dad always held the biggest fests for her with all her favorite food when it was over! She always looked forward to her sessions. Like a dog.
In these sessions, she would undergo several procedures. There's mossman, shadowfish and amphibian biotechnology involved. The point is to 1) make her brain Core-friendly - if it has many dimensions that would make things easier! And 2) translate the data from the Core into something that can be run in a biological machine. For which they need to understand and explore said machine. She only has one port, in the back of her neck, hidden by her long hair. It connects straight into her spine and her brain. In essence, these are fitting sessions. The Core is trying out their new house. Ever since she was little, they actually did use her brain to run tests and perform different functions. Most of the times it was mostly to study it, but as she grew older, they began using her whenever a function required too much energy, whenever something that would take forever to load with its own equipment, would render almost instantly with hers. They never left any data behind, erasing all evidence of their presence, and they never fully transported anything to this new extension, using only copies of data with the original files safe in the Core. The point is to leave the Core behind eventually and fully move on to this new computer, but not yet.
A few funny side effects!
Her blood is slowly growing more and more green as the years pass. This actually has less do to with brain stuff, and more as early preparation for eternal youth and immortality. It's mean to make her last longer. When she first meets Anne at age 10 - 11, her blood is a brown-ish color, but by the time things blow up when she's like 13-14, it's just a gross green. Her kidneys filter it out with time and her blood returns to its original red color, and Anne and Sasha see her real skin color for the first time, since before she always had this weird green tint, but they didn't know enough about humans to tell it wasn't normal. Seeing her blush red instead of green for the first time is kinda magical.
Migraines! Especially after a session. Especially when she does something the Core wouldn't like, because despite how hard they try to erase their traces, Marcy's most primal survival instincts remember.
More indirect effect but going several weeks a year without eating can't be good for her. It makes her feel very tired, dizzy and weak, even if she's eating normally, because three days ago she was starving.
The port in the back of her neck itches a lot. After becoming queen, she asked the royal physician that put it her to remove it, but he was scared of leaving her paralyzed, since it was so deeply fused with her nervous system. Sasha still thinks she should've had the guy publicly excecuted or something.
Idk if it counts but ?? Andrias wouldn't touch her if she was sick, so Olivia often found ways to give her a fever in secret or something to spare her. She did it to protect her, but it does mean Marcy spent a big deal of her childhood in bed, recovering from a session or a light illness.
The Core communicates with her nervous system through electric signals, and even thought they don't want to harm it, they still make her muscles contract a lot so she feels super sobre afterwards lots of muscle pain all the time.
There is no helmet in this one. No indirect connection. When Andrias puts the Core in Marcy, he goes all the way. Straight into her brain! They got a new PC :3
#raised in amphibia au#amphibia#marcy wu#my posts#king andrias#the core#marcy harm#whump#just!!#she's just a piece of meat to them! literally!!#a piece of grey matter with a case of flesh and bone protecting it and supplying nutrients to it#to the Core Marcy's body is little more than a set of cables and connections keeping the Computer alive#transporting energy and oxygen and all that. something easily replaceable#it's so different from how Anne and Sasha see it - ''Marcy'' and ''Marcy's body'' as the same thing.#something to kiss and hug and protect. marcy is her hair when Anne ruffles it. her arms when Sasha teaches her to hold a sword#she's her feet when she trips and stumble and they catch her and when she happily runs towards them with all the grace of a newborn calf#it's the way she pinches her eyebrows and purses her lips when she's concentrated#her heart when she holds Sasha to her chest because she remembers Anne liked this - a warm hug. something amphibians can't give#but humans can#and it's incredibly how comforting it is. how hearing those steady beats can calm her#she's her hands when they write or flap or give Anne one terrible hairstyle after the next. even though Anne loves feeling them against her#scalp. loves the closeness. she never liked her grandfather or siblings touching her hair - she loved them but... they were a bit... slimy#marcy's hands are soft and dry and warm and clean#she's her eyes when they light up at the promise of knowledge#or a puzzle to solve#or a game to play#or when she sees her two loves#she's her smile when they kiss her. when Anne picks her up and spins her around and Sasha grabs her bridal style or carries her on her back#she'll be safe as long as she's with them :) right? :)
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lieutenant-amuel · 1 year ago
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Elena of Avalor is genuinely such a good show.
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mishy-mashy · 5 months ago
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BNHA 426 raws spoiler. No entry if you don't want that. And don't expand my tags either.
Gosh I love this. Soba being Touya's favorite was a lovely punch in the heart.
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Since the siblings were distant with each other, the first thing they wanted to know is what the other's favorite food was. It's their way of trying to connect after so long.
Like how Fuyumi made their family dinner that one time. They use food as common ground.
And like how soba is Shoto's favorite, and Shoto couldn't be understood by his siblings before as someone too far away, it's the same favorite food for Touya—a kid no one in the family could look straight at, or understand.
But after finding out their favorite food, the family has a small ground to start trying to reach out and understand that prodigy that once stood too far. Learning about soba was their way of trying to reconnect.
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softwarmfur · 10 months ago
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Back from the protest....tore up my throat with all the hooting and hollering I partook in....it was freezing cold rainy weather the whole time😭all our hands and toes were numb. Eating some hot soup right now🔥in all seriousness I am so glad I live like a 16 minute drive from the capitol, and I'm so grateful that my dad and roommates attended with me. Nice to see how many people showed up and stayed despite the hostile weather.
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faunabel · 6 months ago
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sometimes i think i'm really just meant to be a lover. what am i passionate about? love. friendship. community. warmth. caring for others. being part of something. belonging somewhere.
but most of all, having a person or a handful of people to dedicate myself to.
there's not really a job for that, unfortunately.
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coffeeshib · 1 year ago
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Hi! I’ve recently visited your page again, after a longer tumblr break and saw your posts about people’s comments on your fics. It made me both sad and angry. Sad because they’ve managed to take away your joy for writing Supercorp and angry that people feel like they can type out any hurtful thought that goes through their head, for a thing that is absolutely free and made with so much passion and care. 😒🤬
For what it’s worth, I always loved the way you write both of them. AND the fact that you don’t ignore Kara’s trauma and struggles. “i’m spilling all my words (but you keep 'em to yourself)” will forever be one of my favorites. Thank you for the hours of joy and fun you have given us! I hope you know that for every entitled commenter there are ten times more people who love your works! 🫵🏻🤘🏻
ahh thank you so much, i appreciate this. i have to say, sc still has me by the neck, i do plan to finish that fic & maybe write some more but it won't be anytime soon. i had hoped that the fandom would calm down with the kara hate after the show ended but i was wrong, it still hasn't changed.
when you've been writing for sc for so long, the frustration builds up, & there have been many times where i felt like i needed to (& did) restrict myself when writing them. it stops being enjoyable when people are constantly calling kara 'stupid' & insult her in many different ways for not being the happy sunshine kara danvers who takes care of lena all the time.
personally i love reading & writing the reverse situation (lena who's being the patient loving one & also the shoulder for kara to lean on) because the show didn't give us enough of that. unfortunately, people don't respond well whenever kara is struggling with her issues & lena isn't the one who's being comforted.
i write what i like & that's what i'm always going to do, but this build up of frustration over the past years & always anticipating kara hate every fic/chapter killed the joy a lot.
i've seen some authors speak about this too & it's genuinely sad to see! people can like & dislike whatever but it's important to note that there are readers out there who don't realize that their personal feelings against kara also affect authors & their love for writing supercorp
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