#But in a “now please” type of way
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#Might watch Bourne Legacy tonight just because I need comfort movie now#But in a “now please” type of way#Does that mean I'm sacrificing my sleep for movie?#Yes.#Am I upset that it has to be a war of priorities?#Yes again.#WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN#WILL J BEAT THE TEMPTATION OR WILL SHE SLEEP SO WELL AND HOPEFULLY THE BURNOUT WITH BE MORE OF A SMILEOUT#I'm not coherent#I shouldn't be posting this lol#Oh I think I'm just itching to journal since I have been too lazy to do that in the last 2 weeks#I'll go do that now.#Everyone pray that I don't forget 🙏#Many hugs#Bye bye now
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I have seen exactly 1 episode of Blue Eye Samurai and I am gobsmacked by how amazing it is. Mizu is already my everything. I am almost never so deeply invested so quickly in any media. I am obsessed. If the rest of the show is consistent in quality with the first episode then this show is Arcane level incredible, and I do not say that lightly.
#please DO NOT spoil me#i am trying to savour the season#and i am PICKY about my shows#i can critique tv all day and that episode just has me amazed and enraptured#the characters the animation the lighting the perspective the scale the action the emotional impact the everything there is so much to love#blue eye samurai#blue eyed samurai#this is the also when I make my romantic subplot oracle prediction that a triad is on the way (hopefully small scale and slowburn)#and as of now it really only works if this show is at least 2 seasons long— howEVER … mizu x taigen x akemi#mizu x taigen#mizu x akemi#taigen x akemi#mizu x taigen x akemi#i don’t really care about taigen x akemi but add mizu to the mix plus a zuko type arc for taigen and akemi as a lord/leader and oop it works#mizu/akemi#mizu/taigen#taigen/akemi#mizu/akemi/taigen#mizu blue eye samurai#look at me#one episode in and so confident about everything#sigh
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got executed by the devil today with a devastating blow, so it's only fair that i drag you along with me.
plus when you drew that somno robin my head was suddenly assaulted with inspiration so pls dont hold this against me HERBBFHJERHJBFB
love you ☆⌒(≧▽° )
Unbelievable... Now even you are after my ass too Dean... Is this betrayal that I'm feeling?
KDFJISDU JSFIASUDIALSK I GUESS THIS IS SORTA WHAT YOU'RE EXPECTING TO SEE
but trust me it would more likely go this way...
Little Doll still insists to hold on her V-card very tight, whether accidentally or intentionally...
#DON'T FIND ME I'M#*die from cringe and embarrassment#*DISTANT SCREECH OF CHAOTIC LANGUAGE WHICH CANNOT BELONG TO A SANE HUMAN#dollya ask#dollya art#dol robin#robin the orphan#dol#swap au#sw#swap robin#Just Dollya herself#degrees of lewdity#omg i'm not done typing hashtag yet#KDJFJSDHFSKDJFSLDFJSD#IDJSOIDJDSDPOIFSOD#I'M#FOAMING#WHAY YOU DO THIS TO ME#KYAAAAAAAAA#I'M NOW CANNOT GO BACK#NEVER#PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME BUT I REALYYYYY HAD FUN DRAWING THESE#THE WAY MY EYEBROWS FLEW AWAY WHEN I SAW THE ASK#DEAN YOU ARE A DEMOIN TOOO
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EVERYONE VOTE SONIC FOR ME ON THIS MONTHS SONIC CHANNEL ART POLL PLEASEEEE FOR THE LOVE OF GODDDD
#ROUGE AND INFINITE ALREADY APPEARED IN SONIC CHANNEL ART THIS YEAR#AND SONIC IS MY FAVORITE LITTLE GUY AND I WANNA SEE HIM IN A CUTE OUTFIT#PLUS KNUCKLES IS THE ALREADY CHOSEN CHARACTER AND I WANNA SEE THEM TOGETHER#PLEASE#hes winning right now at the time im typing this. thank god#hes only 5 percent ahead of rouge but considering its a 3 way poll this time. the votes are divided more#so a 5 percent difference isnt as scary. since a vote against sonic isnt automatically a vote for rouge#and infinite is way further behind#thankfully for most of the polls involving characters who have already appeared in sonic channel art this year#people have been good about choosing the one that hasnt gotten to be in any art yet. like omega beat shadow which was kinda shocking#so sonic definitely has a chance
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[insert something poetic and profound here]
#this is a sketch for hopefully a finished painting but we’ll see#I really like the sketch so y’all can have it#911 fox#911 art#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#911 spoilers#the fact that their shoulder injuries meet up now has me feeling some type of way.#molly doodles#literally shaking like a scared chihuahua rn I don’t post my art ever please I’m begging be nice#my stuff
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I think I'm in the "conscious incompetence" stage of being a social animal in the real world and it sucks so majorly. bro what do you do after you realize you're bad at socializing and then in-person interaction gets harder because you know you're failing at it now.
#Robin processes emotions on main#I WANT to get good at socializing#I used to be better and I'm now worse >:[#in some ways. in some ways I've improved (e.g. am kinder). but I used to have more confidence and an easier time staying present#now I'm always shutting down and running away#literally I leave the room and go calm down in my room#I want to learn to regulate that impulse and become a chill person to hang out with. but How#I've been struggling lately with punishing myself for running away (not physically but with like. spirals of self-recrimination)#I think one good step would be to get mindful about praising myself for small steps again. I'll change faster if im kinder to myself#also I think seeking reassurance from the people I'm around more often even if it seems silly would be good#ALSO. a major problem I'm facing is that I am living with my parents. and my little sisters. and I don't... I... it's rough.#I used to parent my 15 (then 9) y/o little sister when my parents were gone and I still struggle with feeling Responsible For Her#so every time she's a little cringe I end up feeling like it's my fault and I'm gonna be punished for it and I don't know how to deal with#—how to deal with it#BIG SIGH#I'm TRYING to become a good adult who can help others rather than just living in desperate self-defensive survival mode forever#but it's so hard bro#and another issue is that I'm growing further and further apart from my parents' fundamentalist brand of Christianity#and feeling more and more incapable of making friends and bringing them to visit me. because I have to be perfect around my parents#how can I make friends if I can't offer them hospitality??#how can I be a fully realized adult if I have to hide in plain sight??#I need to move out so bad. even if I'm lonely at first I HAVE to move out#in related news my seasonal job is Over and I'm looking for full-time work! please pray for me if you're the praying type or just#send me encouraging words#that would help#<33333 I will be ok it's just a bad situation rn
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Hello! I want to learn how to draw content on the more spicy side, but I'm unsure where to start. Do you have any tips/resources for it? I would love to make Corrin/Gunter art and some of my other favorite pairings. Thank you in advance!
on the practical/technical side:
having a solid understanding of anatomy helps, of course - the basic bone structure of course, but how skin, fat, muscle hangs as well. you don't actually need to watch live-action porn to get references (i never have believe it or not), but i do follow a few historical kink/bear magazine archivists online. personally i find that there's more of a variety of beautiful shapes and humans in those old photos, and you generally know it's consensual since they've personally submitted them.
you also can't go wrong with reading other erotic comics ... i say comics vs illustrations since you start to see the pacing of these scenes like any other human interaction and the tools the artists use. when does intimacy turn into foreplay? when does the artist/mangaka zoom in to capture the sensation of the moment? what clever tricks do the artists to capture the climax when the bodies are all pressed together and when finding a good camera angle is tricky? how do they show the heightened feeling with symbols and textures? how is kink power dynamics shown with characters in different positions? do you show faces and the expressions to show the pleasure or not? what comics feel cold and manufactured to you versus ones that capture real eros? why? etc.
on the mental side:
if you're anything like me, you might have a lot of shame to untangle when it comes to harder varieties of erotic art. (i hope not! not everyone does. but it's unfortunately common given the societies we live in.)
it's going to take a while, and it's going to feel really weird at times when you draw something that's uncomfortably intimate or taboo, but that's when you know it's working and you gotta keep pushing through.
you gotta keep drawing.
privately, i have a personal rule that i'll draw anything at least once; if i feel afterwards that it turned out to be a personal squick, i won't go there again, but that guideline has been marvelous to start breaking through the manufactured idea of disgust and also just to experiment with putting myself in other people's shoes about what they find hot. sometimes it's surprising! i've learned a lot.
lastly, on that note - draw what you find deeply intimate. forget about other people. selfshipping? the most niche kinks possible? the kink that feels like the internet can't stand? who gives a shit about them (no taste, the lot of them).
draw the human. the tenderness, the visceral, that overpowering desire for you that almost scares you with how intense it is and that sends your brain alight.
that's going to be timeless.
#now selfishly. takes your hand. please know i am vibrating with delight at the sheer thought of more gunter/corrin and the like :D :D :D#either way regardless what you draw wishing you success and happiness anon ~#not art#the 'draw what you want' is so real tbh. i've had multiple professional animators say lovely things about my gunter/corrin drawings#- just because i could not fake going absolutely feral over old man wrinkles even if I *tried* lol#people are a lot more into different/crunchy body types and kinks than we give them credit for!
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If the first class characters were in the office
#Yes I wasted a lot of time making this#I’m tired and obsessed okay#cherik#Xmfc#x men edit#kinda#okay but here me out#The guy in the black suit? He’s a much more sane and cool version of Michael#Charles and Erik got the Pam and Jim thing going#Which ones which? Uhhh yes#Moira can be the scary blonde lady because Moira strikes me as the type to be scary#Ya know#if she actually got any character development#I mean this in a nice way okay#And then we’ve got raven and hank#Idk where they fit in#And the rest of the first class characters are just people in the office#Shaw is either from a rivaling company or corporate#Nobody is Dwight#He…. Can’t really be replaced#So there’s no dwight#I’m going to go write now#(:#also if anyone knows where to find movie clips of the other actors looking like they’re in an office#Please tell me and I can fix this#James Mcavoy was the only one I could find )):
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is this where u take the requests? if not, apologies lol still learning tumblr, I WAS WONDERING IF MY VARGAS RELATED REQUESTOBER REQUEST COULD BE JAKE/NNY? i feel like jake/nny is SO looked past like its actually so cute, they could be doing anything THANK U IF THIS WAS THE WRONG PLACE SORRY MWAH MWAH X
Day 12 - Once you had one hole in your skin, you've had 'em all
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Jake#Nny#*looks at your comment of NnyGaster being cursed* *looks at this* Well I mean at least you're consistent#Of all the crackships I haven't considered I possibly haven't considered this one the most#I mean considering I Just got into Nny/Scriabin lol#I have extreme Edgar/Scriabin blinders lol this is known#Is this a thing and I just don't know? I can't even snark I just - it Literally Never Occurred to me lol#Edgar got all the shipping charts and diagrams and graphs he's special that way <3#I love Jake dearly and don't want him to be hurt! Unlike the Vargases lol ♥ I love them dearly and Do want them be hurt#Precarious position anyone who gets paired up with Johnny haha#I suppose if Johnny's still in Sweet Mode that's one thing but!! the rest of him!!!#Their dynamic over something like piercings Is interesting tho - Jake hangs out with artsy types and Nny is definitely that lol#And Johnny's y'know - weird about stuff lol - I could see him getting into a pierced partner! No pun intended#And obviously Jake is very good on boundaries <3 He's not actually touching him here just gesturing at his ear#It also occurs to me that I can't think of a time I've seen Johnny with tattoos :0 Body modification+art! (+bodily weirdness)#Might be something there to look at sometime hmmm#Anyhow - continuing my trend of drawing Nny on the hood of the car over the cliff haha#I didn't think I had leveled up all that much from last year but comparing the two??? I'm Way more pleased with this one#Still struggling with the bottom of the shoe but better! Practicing!!!#Maybe there Is something to drawing just a bit bigger lol#Nny also looks significantly less anemic from not having died yet lol#Really pleased with the harder edges of the unlined shapes ♪ I used that grass brush on everything and it's dope#Do I like backgrounds???? First lining now this so much to consider
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icl i would be at least a little happy with almost any ending for stranger things but one thing that would ruin all of it would be an epilogue (of a decade or more later)
#it would just kinda ruin the fun of imagining them doing whatever tf i want them to these days yk#like even if everyone got together the way i wanted them and got the jobs i think fit etc it would still just kill the creativity#+ even the small things would annoy me like what if i just don’t like what one of them named their kids. or dresses like in 20 years#maybe i wanted them divorced by then but that would’ve angered the fans#maybe i wanted to imagine that single person’s future spouse myself (or keep them single in my head)#what if i want them to recover from this or that or still be working on it. what if i the adult/older actors look shit#anyways point is do not do an epilogue timeskip of more than 5/6years PLEASE i am begging u duffer brothers#stranger things#byler#<- u guys get me on this yk#even if byler isn’t canon at the end i can still at least imagine they do in uni or in their 30s or whenever#as long as there isn’t some fucking scene where mike and el r old and married in 2023 or something#would just kinda ruin all of it; making us see them as old ass adults with their entire lives set it stone yk#manifesting a few month/year timeskip where everyone gets a happy ending isn’t all “and then they lived a nice life in this specific way”#and especially manifesting that we don’t get an#“i haven’t seen you guys in decades how’ve you been? sucks that erica died in a car crash last year. she was almost 40”#type epilogue (if we must have one)#like no hate to amphibia and that one 80s movie but it just kinda makes what happened before a bit pointless if it focused on their#relationships at all#like cool we spent years watching these friendships grow and adapt only for u to go “yeah and we’re strangers now soz :)” like ok so none o#that lasted#idgaf if it’s “realistic” if i wanted realistic representation of childhood friends into adulthood id think about real life and shit#idk random rant if they do any of this shit i WILL kill all of them and then myself#ryan shut the fuck up
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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I have fallen down the anime sports hole and landed on Eyeshield 21 and I'm so sorry I'm adopting all these kids.
(I was actually going to like. Hold off posting my silly sports anime doodles until after commissions but no I wanna share them now. It's hard out here being me who thrives off interactions and this show is like "hey what if we gave you lots of interactions and also a secret identity for MORE interactions".)
#eyeshield 21#seijuro shin#sena kobayakawa#haruto sakuraba#ichiro takami#you might look at this and go Salmon please explain why you're drawing fanart for a football anime#and i cannot actually explain#not pictured is my undying love and adoration for the Ha-Ha brothers because they're great#im only on ep28 but please i care for them so much#me watching one say that a girl is his type: OH NICE I LOVE THIS I WILL SUPPORT YOU#me watching one suffer a fear of airplanes while on an airplane: SON YOU ARE DYING PLEASE NO KEEP LIVING#i have typed so many essays on discord to two people about the emotions this anime has given me#and its such a silly anime with funky moves with funny animations for the moves#but i actually really like it ??? like yes its about hs people playing football#but the fact the main character is an underdog#joining a team of two people thus making the entire team of now three an underdog#who then continue to grow with MORE underdogs being recruited#its actually very impressive to watch the characters grow alongside sena#like they do actively show the kids interacting in various ways and its a delight#the anime is just a bunch of good boys playing a game and having a good time bettering themselves#and i say this like im an expert when im still just ep28
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The Invisible Clubber........................ SMILING. CAN'T STOP SMILING. LIFE SO HAPPY. LOVE. LOVE LIFE. BEAT GETTING FASTER. CAN'T STOP SMILING. NOW JUST HARMONY. NO BEAT. MELODY. STOP MOVING. SMILE TO THE SKY. ALL STANDING STILL. BEAUTIFUL. NEVER BEEN SUCH HARMONY IN ALL HISTORY. WANT TO KISS EVERYONE. THEY WANT TO KISS ME. BREATHE IN. BREATHE OUT.................
Sebastian's Story.......... Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to die. I'll find myself drifting off, staring at something, anything and I'll stop blinking. I feel my whole body slowing down... My heartbeat... And I wonder how long it'll be broken
*Sorry that I couldn't find the source where I got this from and have no idea when this was released. If anyone has the link I will be very glad to insert it!
#warning: expand the tags at your own risk#I've been way too jolly lately.#time to break some hearts.#oh sherlock.#I could barely type out the invisible clubber I wanted to stick my head into the door frame and have someone slam the door on me#want me to drop dead on the spot? sing oh what a night#oh the invisible clubber. the only thing I could think about is sherlock being so alone and so lost at john's wedding reception#he loves dancing so much and all around him people are dancing but he is so Alone.#he was just standing there jostled by the crowd and turning in circles being drowned in the suffocating lonliness#and so he left. he returned to 221b alone and let cocaine pump his heart for him and wrote that entry in delirium.#The. Invisible. Clubber.#tell me how else could we possibly interpret this.#and please don't mention sebastian's story to me if you don't want me to die in a gory mess on you.#“Sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to die.”#“And I wonder how long it'll be broken”#don't.#please don't.#I am going to die of heartbreak and mofftiss YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE#nothing should ever be this painful and we're not even sherlock#just imagine how utterly tortured sherlock is this entire time#I'm going to stop now. my tags are getting ridiculously out of control#bbc sherlock#sherlock#sherlock holmes#john watson#johnlock#sherlock s3#the sign of three#tsot#buckingham-ashtray
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If you don't hear from me again, it's because I have shuffled off this mortal coil and descended into madness on the wings of a fallen angel named Mito.
#biffhosgottago#seeing dpr ian is going to be something from which i shall never recover#he creates music the same way i create stories#i love that for me#but i'm really not going to survive#i'm going with a reader turned friend#how lucky am i that my silly writings have brought me very real friends#at least when i perish from my transcendence i'll know my smut built friendships with people who will miss me and my trashheap lolsob#HOW ARE THOSE ACTUAL TOUR PHOTOS wtf#so yeah real talk i'm about to be catatonic DO YOU UNDERSTAND#THESE ARE THE ONLY SPOILERS I HAD FOR THIS TOUR AND I'M TERRIFIED OF HOW MUCH MORE THERE IS TO EXPERIENCE#(please forgive me for being too chicken to see you mx)#i swear it's only because i'm genuinely afraid for my life by seeing you#but i have promised more readers-now-friends that i will go next tour and i will not back out even if the thought has turned me to jelly#hyungwon forgive me#i know you're the jealous type but i promise you're first in my heart#THIS POST ON MBB DAY?#I'M SORRY FORGIVE ME#I LOVE MY MBB MOST OF ALL I SWEAR
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Uhhhh vent post tw for eating disorder, depression, medication, suicide, and what not
Welp I think I'm going to turn the random spare account into a vent account because:
Currently not in public school due to the funky fresh nosdive my physical and mental health has taken
My anti-deppressants aren't working, meaning I have to go off them and switch to a new kind and I don't know how that'll effect me
My eating disorder is really annoying and fuckin me up real bad because I'm aware that I'm unhealthy thin but also the thought of being over 90 pounds makes me panic so I'm kinda just in limbo and I keep not eating and aaaaaaa
My face is super fucked up because I clawed the shit out of it during a mental breakdown and now I hate my appearance even more
My cats health is bad and there's nothing I can do about it because my family is barely able to buy groceries and so my cat might die which is especially bad because my mental health hinges on him, and if he dies I won't last long in my current mental state
The "old reliable" coping mechanisms are no longer working so I'm pretty fucked because I can't feel better no matter what I do
I keep having trauma flashbacks and reliving trauma in my nightmares
And my mom still won't take me to see a mental health professional despite literally having all the time and resources to do so. She is aware that I am suicidal and have expressed that to her many times, but still won't take me to a professional despite all the mental insanity. She's trying to help me herself, but she really can't on her own: it's VERY apparent I have some serious mental illnesses that need to be dealt with.
So ueah I'm losing my mind over here but I'm just going to vent on a sideblog and maybe try singing
#I just needed to type some stuff out#please don't worry about comforting me or anything since I'm handling it#I'll find new ways to help myself and I'll figure it out! that's my goal for right now!#every day I'm still alive is a day I'm making progress.#I don't want to have to resort to the voices in my head or the sleep paralysis demons again but I might have to.#music makes me happy: so perhaps singing and dancing more would help.#vent post#personal vent#vent
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So... Link Click Bridon Arc.
*curls up on the floor and sobs pathetically*
#it talks!#guys I'm not okay#this is even more tragic than ALNST ivantill wtf#I was crying through the last few s2 episodes#then bridon Arc hit me right in the guts. Literal K.O.#link click... truly a hidden treasure#this is gonna be my blog topic for a while now lmfao get used to it#I need to change my banner dear Lord#I NEED TO DRAW THEM#ITS A PRIMAL NEED#seriously though I adore Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi#everything about them is so tragic... and yet— so perfect. Fragile and fragmented yet still whole#link click has changed my brain chemistry holy shit man#also I whipped up a mini prompt for them#literally woke up from my half asleep state to type it out as if my life depended on it#dunno if I'll post it tho#will prolly draw it if I get the time. It was mainly meant to be like a scene dialogue of Lu Guang speaking to Cheng Xiaoshi...#and a lot of scenes from s1 timeline#I have way too ambitious ideas for my still developing skills... I'm trying to balance it okay-#oh and of course. the classic yearning scene of the MC's thoughts being spoken while the soon to be dead love interest is happily smiling#that's my fav part. It comes at the end :D#okay I think that's it lmao please comment if you read this far I've no clue if people even read my posts half the time#link click#shiguang daili ren#tags mainly for sorting purposes and nothing else
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