#But i drifted off from that.
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Slightly in the making bunch of Oc Phase. đş
(plus, i wanted More pink Ocs) âď¸ i was lazy tho.. Ahem
#undertale oc#undertale#undertale au#sans oc#KirschblĂźte!sans#It sounds weird in german but i didnt Want to use the englisch one -#His name means Cherry blossom#đ§ââď¸#I wanted to make him similar to Angel dust in a way -#Bc why not#But i drifted off from that.#Slightly#His personallity is still kinda similar but not too much#But Like every Oc#He has trauma đ#And angst ofc#WELL it's the same amlost.
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SHUT UP ABOUT THE DARK ARTS đđĽ
#clora suplexing seb is now canon đ for peace đ#i saw these bases on pinterest and i had to LOOL especially the lip grabbing one.......bro stop yapping#stanning sebastian is loving him but also wanting to punch him at the same timeđ¤şđ¤şđ¤şđ¤şhow i felt his entire questline tbh#speaking of no dark arts tho i actually want to draw dark seb..like if clora never stopped him from going that path#and they drifted apart but seb still loves her but clora decides to cut him off bc hes too far gone hehe#love me some yandere seb#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#choccyart
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sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol
#it's been kinda hard for me to pinpoint WHY exactly these sort of comments feel insulting#but i think it's mostly because it implies my original work is purposefully and inherently derivative of things i have no connection to#while i think being derivative in art is. kinda unavoidable in a sense (and something i'm aware i do consciously and unconsciously)#it feels like a slap in the face when people imply that my work cannot hold its own merit and need to be compared to#something in the popular conscious#and like sometimes people don't know it's original art which is fine#but it also doesn't hurt to ask if it's original instead of just. immediately assuming or comparing it to something else#i know this will only get more difficult as i continue to drift away from fanart and fan works#but i really want to be able to be proud of my original work and i want to share more! because it's a part of me!!#but its really hard when it feels like i'm always going to be compared to things people care about more!!!! AAAUGH#god. ok sorry i need to get that off my chest. if anyone compares computer angel to TMA again im gonna start eating drywall#fern's sketchbook
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Me: Zuko's scar is kind of shaped like a flame.
Me: I mean, no shit, it's a burn scar.
Me: But it has the three little pointy bits at the back, which kind of make it look like the Fire Nation's flame emblem, but turned sideways.
Me: ...
Me, scribbling furiously: The resistance movement in the Fire Nation comes to see Zuko as the symbolic leader of their movement toward the end of the war, and because voicing support for the traitor prince isn't tolerated, the resistance needs a subtler way to make their position known. All across the Fire Nation, banners are stolen and re-hung sideways, official seals on documents are deliberately printed crooked, and disillusioned soldiers deface their uniforms by tearing the flame emblems away and reattaching them sideways. What most people know but no one will say is that the sideways flames represent Zuko's scar, and that the symbol indicates support for him as a leader and for his mission to bring an end to the war.
Me: ...
Me: Am I gonna have to start another fic just for this idea?
#atla fanfiction#for the record I think the answer is no#assuming that things don't drift too far off course#I should be able to cram it into a certain behemoth of a WIP#... eventually#if you know the fic then you probably know that I'm still a ways off from Book 3#zutara#zutara fanfiction
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My sort of future au designs (traced/edited their psychonauts 2 renders for this) :] they are like 13 here
#art#illustration#fanart#psychonauts#psychonauts au#razputin aquato#raz psychonauts#lili zanotto#lili psychonauts#btw there's a lot of stuff about this au in my head rn so probably you can expect more posts about it. this is all I've got rn though#also. Lili is exploring gender stuff in this (my transmasc Lili headcanon :])#she's still going by she/her at this point but that probably will change#Raz also has gender stuff going on but will not figure any of that out for a while. too focused on psychonauts stuff at the moment#also (again). sometimes I forget what they look like normally and start drifting off from that when I draw them..#Raz has kind of little eyes and they're lower on his face. I always forget that when I draw him..#Lili. your eyes are so big and far apart like a horse. and your head is so wide. stop that#outfits#<- I mean. sort of
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
Iâm doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts Iâm spinning in the blender
âŚ..I made the moodboardâŚ.
#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. Itâs an invitation haha#I love the fics that I canât read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I donât enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#itâs just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isnât about them being âhaha cute organicsâ#itâs âoh god. I was turned into something Iâm notâ#instead of teeheee theyâre fluffy#itâs please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now Iâm kind of stuck reading this fic because I just canât stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror isâŚ.damn. Impressive. I didnât expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#itâs not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuckâŚ.I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I readâŚ..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do thisâŚâŚ..#thereâs a tiny chance theyâre following meâŚ.if itâs true then I wanna tell Iâm sorry pls donât take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic isâŚthe grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesnât even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which isâŚ..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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hermann thoughts: if i discredit newton and his approach enough, the martial won't give him the equipment for his kaiju drift, and i can protect him from himself. if he despises me for it, so be it. there is little i wouldn't sacrifice to see him safe.
newt thoughts: this is a Best Science competition and i have to Win
#unscientific aside#newmann#pacific rim#thinking about them again today#it's very easy to read hermann's animosity during the movie as him being pissed off at newt for his 'completely crazy'#theories getting attention + being a massive nuisance in general#that's exactly what it looks like if you just listen to WHAT he's saying#however if you pay attention to WHEN he says it & pay attention to his face when no one is looking it's very clear there's more going on im#like the kaiju entrails comment. newt has all these tables with guts set up right next to the line & has clearly been working there for age#theres a big pile of intestinal-looking tubes over on hermann's side of the floor already! not a peep from hermann!#but then when newt tries to join the conversation he happens to throw another little squidgy bit & suddenly hermann jumps on him about it#brings up in front of the marshall how CONSTANT this unprofessional conduct is while also cutting newt off#he physically puts himself between newt & pentecost#interrupts newt every time he tries to talk#starts making snarky little personal comments AT newt to discourage him - 'don't embarrass yourself' 'yes [just get to the point]'#'this is the point where he goes completely crazy' [significant look at newt]#keeps hovering in the background looking between newt & pentecost#like. ok he is SO MAD that newt is getting pentecost's attention here. obviously#the thing that does it for me though is how sad and resigned he looks when newt finally does get to the point#this is not the face of an angry rival#this is the face of a man with ulterior motives for his animosity#i dont think newt has any ulterior motives hes aware of lol he thinks hes in a movie about 2 geniuses vying for scientific superiority#happens to be in love with hermann but hasnt realized because hes so mad at him all the time#he only realizes how much hermann cares when he offers to drift with him
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The TTPD Deep Dive (Part ?)
Itâs no secret that I have a lot of Thoughts about The Tortured Poets Department and it has lived rent-free in my head since it came out earlier this year. Iâm absolutely blown away by how underneath the chaos, itâs actually an exceptionally cohesive story and is probably the closest to a concept album Taylor has ever done.
There are so many themes that have stood out to me over the last five months, and thereâs one in particular that I think not only drives the entire album, but ties into previous albums to help deepen understanding of it.
This is it, my fangirl magnum opus, my months of posts consolidated into one place. This is also my disclaimer that this is just my interpretation of the album, and my summary of the story it tells, and I donât pretend to have any special insight or authority. Iâm not saying Iâm correct at all, do not take any of this as fact, itâs just what it sounds like to me, and these are my silly not-so-little thoughts about it.
(Under a cut because itâs way too long and involves discussion many may not care for or be sick of.)
Come one, come all, it's happening again (I'm thinking too hard about Taylor music)
The overarching theme in TTPD to me is: Grief. If youâre looking at TTPD as a story being told (instead of just as someoneâs real life), the inciting incident of TTPD is loss, and the grief from that loss is what drives the narratorâs actions and the fallout, as well as unpacks those complicated feelings and how they apply to the her life in general. By the end of the standard album, itâs also about recovering from that pain, moving on from it and learning from it.
The loss specifically is the loss of the dream of having a family (with oneâs partner). One thing that is abundantly clear both on the top line and under the surface in TTPD is how Taylor (as a person and as narrator) longed not only to for marriage but specifically parenthood, and the fear and then realization of losing that chance absolutely wrecked herâ which is why the next loverâs (the conman's) wooing worked so well, because it preyed on that yearning. Yet that loss also dovetails into the grief of many things: of youth, of idealism, of relationships, of ideas, even of self, which causes almost a deconstruction of a belief system to piece oneâs life back together by the end.
THE CONTEXT
TTPD weaves in the topics of marriage and motherhood both explicitly and in the subtext, in various forms and scenarios. The cheating husband in âFortnight.â The wedding ring line in âTTPDâ the song. âHe saw forever so he smashed it upâ in âMy Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys.â All of âSo Long, London.â Running away with her wild boy in âBut Daddy I Love Him,â fantasizing about weddings and joking about babies. The imaginary rings in âFresh Out The Slammer.â The cheating husband (again) and the friends who smell like weed or âlittle babiesâ in âFlorida!!!â âYou and I go from one kiss to getting married,â âTalking rings and talking cradles,â and âour field of dreams engulfed in fireâ in âloml.â (And arguably: âI wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all.â) âHe said heâd love me all his life, but that life was too short,â in âI Can Do It With A Broken Heart.â They may not sound like much on their own, but they paint a picture about how the topics pervaded her thoughts and her writing, and in many cases express her desires, and her pain.
Itâs something that goes back several albums when you pick up on context clues. You get the first hints on Reputation with âNew Yearâs Day,â and âyou and me forevermore.â Then Lover is very forward with it: âLoverâ is basically wedding vows, âPaper Ringsâ is very engagement-coded, âI Think He Knowsâ is cheeky but low-key âyou better put a ring on it,â âItâs Nice To Have A Friendâ has wedding/marriage imagery in the last verse. As a self-professed diaristic writer, itâs the type of stuff one presumably doesnât put out there unless those conversations have already happened, and she was very excited about it at the time it was released.
Then the pandemic happens and folklore comes out, and while there is still happy love there (âinvisible stringâ), there are also the first indications that something has happened to put a halt to whatever future she once dreamed of (âhoax,â âthe lakesâ) and that sheâs trying to reassure herself and him that it can still happen even if sheâs scared it might not (âpeaceâ). Notably, as far as I can remember itâs the first time Taylor explicitly brings up the idea of family (with her partner) with âyou know that Iâd give you my wild, give you a child,â which stood out at the time because itâs so incredibly vulnerable, but itâs even more poignant when you really take in that the whole song is like a confession of her deepest worries, and this is her vowing to give him these things that she holds most sacred if heâll let her. These are what she cherishes most dearly and wants to return in kind: her youth and commitment (my wild), the family she craves (a child), unconditional support (swing for the fences/sit in the trenches) and understanding/compassion (silence that only comes when two people know each other).
Evermore follows an even darker path, and suddenly the album explores relationships that end and grappling with loss. There are toxic relationships (âtolerate itâ), dangerous marriages (âno body, no crime,â âivyâ), failing/broken relationships (âConey Island,â âchampagne problems,â âhappiness,â ââtis the damn seasonâ), as well as grief (âMarjorie,â âevermoreâ). Even some of the happy songs have uncertainty in them: in âwillowâ sheâs begging for him to take her lead, like sheâs still trying to decipher him and ask him to commit; in âcowboy like me,â still a beautiful love song, sheâs thinking, âthis wasnât supposed to work and we were supposed to bail on each other but we fell in love insteadâ; âevermoreâ is about the depths of severe depression (and more) with the love story being the one saving grace in her darkest hour. And itâs also notable that after all the âfictionâ writing, shortly after this album she writes âRenegadeâ where sheâs telling the subject: Iâm ready to start the next phase of our life now, why arenât you? Is it me you donât want after all? Itâs like thereâs something telling her that this stall might not just be a stall.
Midnights is a jumble (in a good, but in hindsight, also sad way) with the âsleepless nightsâ concept, but it seems pretty clear now that the themes and events and relationships she was revisiting tied into a lot of what she was feeling in her present life. I wrote the cliff notes version awhile back, but sheâs questioning so much of her life thatâs reflected in past events and relationships. Am I actually always the problem? How did we lose sight of each other and what we had? We only seem to work when we block out everyone and everything else. Can we ever go back to when things were good? Why are you neglecting me? I once thought I was going to lose everything but you saved me in the nick of time, can that happen again? I chased my career, but did I give up my chance at having a family in the process? Nobody knows what I really suffer from behind closed doors and Iâm all alone.
And so on, which in retrospect now that we have TTPD, is very much what she was grappling with in private while writing and releasing the album. The inspiration behind the songs may have been different events and muses, but regardless of their origins they all end up feeling too familiar, like she's seen this film before (ahem). Weâre seeing her view of commitment change too, or rather how she writes about it: sheâs not making the outright declarations of it like on Lover, or even the implied ones on folklore, nor is she talking of the dark side of it like evermore. For the most part itâs a return to the early days of some relationships, before things got hard, or the end of them when there was nothing left, and also pushing away the discussion of it altogether by the outside world. âSweet Nothingâ is a sweet slice of life, but even at that, itâs the peace of the home in conflict with the pressure of the outside world. Now that we have âYouâre Losing Me,â which was written at the same time as the rest of the album, we can probably deduce that she was going back to the start because something happened that made her doubt the future.
THE SETUP
So much of Midnights directly ties into TTPD, and I said in the post I linked that itâs like Midnights is asking the questions that TTPD answers. But thereâs one song in particular on Midnights that sticks out to me as being key in the broadest sense to understanding the state of mind that led to the events of TTPD, and thatâs âBigger Than The Whole Sky,â because the way it expresses grief is reflected in the theme of mourning a life built and the dreams along with it that are never realized in TTPD. There are several instances in TTPD that are basically variations of: âevery single thing to come has turned into ashes,â and thatâs what makes her snap, and leaves her vulnerable to someone who promises her those things when sheâs bereaved at losing them in the first place. (In other words: âthe deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling.â) The song tells a story about how that loss of hope colours oneâs entire mindset, and in some ways is a bridge to TTPD to understand what such a low point feels like.
I think that that grief, and most importantly losing hope for an imagined future in its wake, is fundamental to understanding TTPD on so many levels: both the decline with one partner that kept her hanging on then led her such a dark path, and why she fell for the conman's apparent bullshitting because it offered an express pass to what she was losing with her partner. And I also feel like it plays a part into the ruminating sheâs doing all over Midnights, trying to make sense of where she finds herself when sheâs writing the album, which directly leads to âYouâre Losing Me.â Loss permeates so many of the stories on Midnights: of lovers, of innocence, of youth, of faith, of control, of lifeâs work, etc. âBTTWSâ is just one of the ways in which it is expressed so fully, capturing that deep depression and subsequent extinction of faith in something that once felt assured and very much wanted. (Which is also mentioned in her writing process in the âDepressionâ playlist on Apple Music.)
If you understand why that feeling of loss in general across so many parts of life is so important to Midnights, then it illuminates so much about the ânarrativeâ in TTPD too. If on Midnights sheâs wrestling with the seeds of grief and loss (on multiple fronts), TTPD is her reckoning with it in its full form. âSo Long, Londonâ is the song that is the most explicit about it: How much sad did you think I had in me? How much tragedy? Just how low did you think Iâd go before Iâd have to go be free? You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waiting for the proof. Itâs the sequel to âYouâre Losing Me.â Itâs, the air is thick with loss and indecision, I know my pain is such an imposition, Iâm getting tired even for a phoenix, all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier, Iâve got nothing left to believe unless youâre choosing me, my heart wonât start anymore, but from the other side of the break.
This is highly speculative, but if you follow the thread about the topic and the relationship as told from Rep through TTPD, in broad strokes it goes: young love with a serious connection (Rep) -> growing up and making life plans (Lover) -> something happens that delays those plans or makes them grind to a halt (folklore) -> serious doubts arise and cause a loss of faith in their future (evermore) -> struggling with the loss of that future and trying to make sense of the problems in a last ditch attempt to save the relationship (Midnights) -> fallout from that grief after the blowup of the relationship (TTPD). Understanding that progression of events (through the music) explains not only the storytelling side of TTPD (e.g. the jump from the partner to the conman) but also how the experiences/muses blend in the music, and how the music that on the surface is about the short-term relationship is really driven by the destruction of the long-term one.
Following the music, itâs IMO implied that Taylor (the narrator) was holding out for marriage and family with her partner, for years, and it seems like it was at one point a shared dream until something happened to pump the brakes, and seemingly on her partnerâs end. And extrapolating further, given how the sorrow expressed in former albums bleeds into TTPD, it sounds like a plan that had been concrete in some form before it had fallen apart, and losing something that once felt so tangible is what drives her in her grief to find any kind of respite from the pain. Which is why the situation with the conman becomes so appealing as the one with the partner splinters further and further.
(If everything youâve once touched is sick with sadness and you donât want to be sad anymore, what are you left to do?)
THE STORY
So (one part of) the story kind of sounds like this from the standard album: the relationship with her partner as well as his mental health slowly deteriorate and he withdraws emotionally (âLondon,â âFresh Out The Slammerâ) and physically (again, âLondon,â and âGuilty As Sin?â) and takes his resentment out on her (âLondonâ and arguably âMy Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toysâ even though I don't want to get into muse speculation here). As she sinks deeper into her own depression as a result, the weight of the failing relationship starts feeling like a cageâ or a noose (âLondon,â âGuiltyâ), but coming to terms with the loss of their life together and the future theyâd dreamed of was killing her (again, âLondon,â but also âI Can Do It With A Broken Heartâ).
Enter the conman who she reconnects with at the very point where this is coming to a head (knowing that IRL she reconnected with him around the time Midnights was being worked on) , and if you read between the lines, she confides some deeply personal things to him (âDown Badâ and âhostile takes oversâ/âencounters closer and closer,â âSmallest Manâ and the entire sleeper cell spy imagery which is one of my favourite things and I could write a whole essay about the meaning of it, âlomlâ and âA con man sells a fool a get-love-quick schemeâ). Then after sheâs confided these secrets to him, he insinuates himself back into her life (âGuilty,â âDown Bad,â âSmallest Manâ) and sells her a dream that HE can give her all these things she hopes for (again, âDown Bad,â âSmallest Man,â âloml,â song âTTPD,â âBroken Heartâ).
But the thing is, he only knows these are the things she wants because sheâs revealed it to him, and presumably, told him that was what she was losing by staying with her partner. And instead of the normal response of, âthat is really sad that your partner is not supporting you and you deserve to be treated better,â to a friend in growing distress, it seems like it was, âwell I can give you all those things!!!! Right now!!!! Trust me!!!!â And worked on her until she believed it, and jumped at the chance at a precarious time in her life. And one thing I want to underscore is: Taylor has agency in the situation always, itâs not like sheâs been kidnapped and brainwashed. (In fact, she implores on songs like âBut Daddyâ that SHE is in charge of her own choices, good or bad.) She chose to rekindle the friendship and then relationship, and she chose to eventually leave her long term relationship for another man, and she reiterates on the album that she owns this all. But itâs also: nothing exists in a vacuum, and she makes choices based on emotions and information she has at the time, which is why it gives so much whiplash.
THE ALBUM
When you look at it as, the situation with the conman only happens because of what happened with the partner first and that the appeal of the conman and the fantasy he sells her is a direct reaction to that, it makes the âswirlinessâ of the music make so much more sense. And for much of it, even many of the âconmanâ songs on the surface are really âpartnerâ songs underneath.
Fortnight
A suburban gothic allegory about a broken marriage with a distant husband with a wandering eye, which makes the rekindled romance with the neighbor so appealing. Sheâs miserable caged in her stifling house because sheâs been abandoned by her spouse, so the reappearance of this past love reignites the passion thatâs dead at home.
TTPD
âSo tell me, who else is gonna know me?â âI chose this cyclone with you.â Iâm gonna kill myself if you ever leave. Everyone knows weâre crazy. Sheâs laying it out there that sheâs already in a dangerous state of mind, and sheâs actively putting herself in more danger by pursuing the conman. âAt dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on, and thatâs the closest Iâve come to my heart exploding,â spells this whole thing out so clearly: whether itâs an actual event (likely) or a metaphor for the promise he makes to her, the reason why it makes her heart explode is because itâs the thing sheâs been waiting for forever with no movement, and here this person comes in and slips it on her finger in an instant like itâs nothing. (And eventually, as weâll come to know, it is absolutely nothing to him.) You mean it could have been this easy this whole time?! (Well, no. Not until a certain other suitor makes his appearance later.) It feels like sheâs finally getting everything she wanted in the blink of an eye! How lucky! How convenient! What was that about the get-love-quick scheme you say? (Unsaid: the reason why this feels so urgent is because thereâs a sense that time is running out in so many aspects of her life and not just the obvious. Which reappears later on.)
Down Bad
âDid you really beam me up in a cloud of sparkling dust just to do experiments on?â sets the scene for this euphoric experience in the moment that starts to feel violating once the dust settles (which is then followed up in âSmallest Manâ and the spy mission on her). The bridge spells out how he weaselled his way into her life, preyed upon (intentionally or not) her emotional state, sold her a dream and then vanished, without the benefit of hindsight yet we see later in the album.
The alien abduction metaphor is pretty brilliant, because it shows both how she was desperate to escape the place she found herself in, and how much it screwed her brain to then be left stranded when the affair was over. â[I loved your] hostile takeovers, encounters closer and closer,â is so evocative because it details how the situation came to be: his overtures under the guise of friendship blurred lines until he made her an offer that she eventually couldnât refuse (hostile takeovers) as he infiltrated her life more and more intimately. The sad thing is that the song has parallels to how her relationship with the partner started too in earlier albums, in that they ran away to live in their own bubble (or planet) only for him to metaphorically abandon her as the years went on. (Oven, meet microwave.)
My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
Being continually emotionally broken down by a person who knows heâs hurting you but still acts the way he does. (The original voice memo version makes this even clearer and itâs rather heartbreaking.) âHe saw forever so he smashed it up,â speaks to the loss of a future the person became scared of, and the original lyrics (âhe saw forever so he blew it upâ) somehow cut even deeper to me because it feels so much more intentional.
Also in the original version, âhe was my best friend and that was the worst part,â also speaks not only to the loss of an entire partnership in the wake of this hurt, but also to the feelings of betrayal that the person you trust so deeply has the ability to hurt you in this way too, and how itâs a one-two punch of not only losing the relationship but also your closest confidant. (Itâs like the sequel to âRenegadeâ and the missiles firing to me.) Again, there are shades of both/many situations in the song, pointing to an unfortunate pattern in some ways. The situation in âMy Boyâ is part of why she was so low, and why the âget love quick schemeâ was so appealing later on. And it dovetails nicely intoâŚ
So Long, London
The most explicitly âpartnerâ song that puts a coda on âYouâre Losing Me,â and is Track 5 because itâs the emotional underpinning of how she got to where she was, and drives the events of the rest of the album. It spells everything out: He withdrew, she tried to fix it for both of them, eventually even that stopped working, he was oblivious to or minimized how badly she was suffering and his (in)actions couldnât reassure her, he wouldnât move forward on their future plans and stewed in his own struggles, she was spiralling out of control trying to hang on and ultimately felt like she was going to die if she didnât leave.
But Daddy I Love Him
Like a direct reaction to âSo Long, Londonâ in that she breaks free from the death of one relationship and throws herself with reckless abandon to the next, fuck the haters. How dare you judge me, when the relationship you think I should have stayed in was killing me? (Dutiful daughter all the plans were laid. All you want is gray for me.) Fuck all of you, Iâm going to choose whoever I want! (So what if I have a baby with HIM, huh?! I tried doing it the proper way and look where that got me so now we're back to square one) Itâs again her imagining how wonderful and freeing this âwild boyâ is going to be for her, and how wrong sheâll prove everyone. THIS TIME she definitely got it right. So what if she has to run away! So what if she scandalizes the whole town! They donât know what she really wants or needs anyway! Sheâs the only one of her (hee-hee-hee) and sheâs the only who gets to decides how this goes. (Because: she longs for control in a situation sheâll eventually realize she has little of it in, which weâll find out is a recurring theme in her life.)
Fresh Out The Slammer
Also spells out what happened with the partner in the first verse and the pre-choruses, which is what makes the conman so appealing as the imagined jailbreak. The bitter loneliness vs. the sultry passion she builds up in her head as she awaits her release from prison is key to understanding the two sides of the story in the album. Thereâs this whole outlaw imagery (which is also carried through in âI Can Fix Himâ), but itâs contrasted in the end with her and her reunited lover sitting on park swings like children with âimaginary ringsâ â because âAin't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake.â Whatâs at stake is lasting love and the promises that come with it (marriage/family) that are precious and time-sensitive. The imaginary rings are both a nod to the youthful dreams of her and her new/old lover, but also has a double meaning to me because those promises arenât built on anything together; they're made up, intangible. (Theyâre no more concrete than the plans that went up in smoke with the partner.) Like with most of the conman situation, itâs all a fantasy in her head that has yet to happen, and as we find out later in the album, reality ends up leaving much to be desired.
Florida!!!
Broadly speaking, itâs running away from your problems and wanting to disappear from your life. (But again: the life sheâs disappearing from is the cheating husband she may or may not be feeding to the swamp-- another miserable marriage.) What kind of flies under the radar though is the âI donât want to exist,â line, which points to her dire state of mind that led her to fleeing to that metaphorical timeshare down in Destin. In many ways about cheating death.
Guilty As Sin
Yes itâs the âmasturbation song,â but again the nuance is that sheâs left to pleasure herself because her partner has abandoned her emotionally and even physically, i.e. âmy boredomâs bone deep.â To be blunt: they arenât even intimate anymore, so she starts fantasizing about the guy she used to have chemistry with whoâs reentered her life and is making moves on her. And realizing that sheâs now finding release in another man (albeit imaginary) breaks her even as it reinvigorates her because she finally understands that the relationship sheâs in is effectively dead. (âAm I allowed to cry?â)
Whoâs Afraid of Little Old Me
This isnât about relationships, but about society and its reaction to them in a general sense. But again, sheâs left to stew in all this anger and hurt as sheâs been abandoned at home, then abandoned by public opinion, and the public attack on her is part of the origin as well as the end of that story. The trauma inflicted upon her detailed in the song is the reason why she felt trapped in the first place, which led to the decisions sheâs made and habits sheâs leaned on ever since.
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
This is one of the few songs that is the most completely conman-coded, and shows when the delusion finally breaks at the end of the song. She spends the whole song being like, âno really, I alone can make him better! Youâll see! I know heâs gross, but heâs mine! Itâll be fine I swear! You donât know anything! Uuuuuum hmm wait actually what the fuckââ
Loml
Oof. THE song. Again the surface reading is about the âconmanâ who comes in and sells her the lie, but the pain is because all the dreams she writes about are HER dreams and implied that they were the dreams she built with her partner that the conman sold back to her. I could do a deeper dive on this but most of the song is applicable to both relationships, which not only shows the âswirlinessâ of her writing, but also how they both ultimately did the same thing to her in different shades.
The bridge and the last chorus are kind of fundamental to understanding it all, and her ending it with âyouâre the loss of my lifeâ is about, among other things, how falling for this trap blew up the life she built and dreamed of for good. (I could talk about this one forever.) âYou shit-talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradlesâ to âOur field of dreams engulfed in fireâ is a hell of a line and progression, and again, indicative of what the real driving force behind the whole album is. The shit-talking is because he took her dreams (of marriage and children) and hyped it back up to her tenfold whether in a moment of his own delusion or for more nefarious reasons â much like how the man prior kept promising these things but never followed through, which left her vulnerable to someone who appeared to offer them enthusiastically. The field of dreams isnât just the one with the conman, itâs the one with the longterm relationship sheâd built the dream with in the first place, because the conmanâs actions are part of the reason the LTR went up in smoke. (Not the reason for the rift, but the consequence of the final break.) And THAT is why itâs the loss of her life, so completely.
When she says âI wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all,â IMO itâs not just the fake future that the conman lures her into, but also (and perhaps mainly) the once-real one she had with her partner and the loss of which that made her susceptible to falling for the con in the first place. Thereâs honestly so much between the lines in this song that covers every theme and speaks to the grief of seeing the life she imagined slip away, slowly by the first man then annihilated by the second.
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
The juxtaposition of âHe said heâd love me all his life, but that life was too shortâ and âHe said heâd love me for all time, but that time was quite shortâ sums it up to me (and parallels âlomlâ), because they are two different situations, but they cut her just the same. In the first, âthat lifeâ IMO was the life theyâd built with the dreams that went along with it and it was too short because he never followed through, and in the second, the âtimeâ was quite short because it was the frenzy of the whirlwind romance that fizzled as quickly as it began. The life that was too short led to the time that was quite short.
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
This is definitely THE conman song. The rage, the shame, the violation, itâs all in there. But the key to it is the bridge and the espionage imagery woven through it. A honeypot scheme is when spies target a mark and seduce them to gain their trust and their privileged information for their homeland. So her likening him to a sleeper cell spy who set her up just to mine her deepest secrets and use them against her is a heavy, loaded statement. And implied: that valuable information she unknowingly held were her longings of marriage and family (the aforementioned shit-talking about rings and cradles she never got to have), and more importantly, those dreams preceded him reentering her life and then beginning his mission on her.
The insinuation then is: she confesses these are her deepest wishes which are now seemingly unattainable in her current situation (e.g. with her partner) -> he convinces her HE will give them to her and make the dreams she pines for come true -> she falls for him and blows up her life to make it happen -> he gets what he wants (thrill of the chase/sex/the idea of her/whatever his intent was) -> he abandons her when he gets what he wants, or rather it isnât what he wants or can handle -> sheâs left a) all alone b) with dreams unfulfilled c) with no answers d) feeling used at having her most sacred wishes used against her.
Again, the song is unquestionably about the way the conman absolutely destroyed her, but he was able to do that because there was this thing she wanted more than anything, that was dying in her previous relationship, that he was able to prey upon to seduce her, then discarded her and her dreams as soon as it was inconvenient for him while absolutely hollowing her inside out. (And again: the devastating thing is that this also applies to other relationships sheâs written about, in different ways.)
The Alchemy
Not about either the partner or the conman directly, but it (loosely) touches on her finding herself after the whole oven-to-microwave experience and opening herself up to life and love again. #GoodForHer
Clara Bow
This isnât about the romantic relationships on the surface, but it is about how damaging the entertainment industry and public life are on women, and how women are only valued for their beauty as commodities until they can be discarded and destroyed in the process. Which I think plays into the circumstances that led her to make the decisions that she did years ago, and why she makes the ones she does now. (But also, being valued for physical traits and appeal for the male gaze brings us toâŚ)
The Manuscript
The âoriginal sinâ that kicks off all of this. Again, at first light this isnât about the partner or the conman, but the person it is about is the reason why she has made all the decisions she has ever since in relationships (and thatâs Mr. Plaid Shirt Days from âAll Too Wellâ). The realization that her first serious adult relationship is what cemented these patterns, and this view of herself and her worthiness in relationships, is profoundly sad. An older man who valued her for being so mature for her age and implying that the mature activities ahem associated with that were the performance benchmarks in her ability to carry a relationship, only to leave her, was earth shattering. She placed her faith in this person, but then the way he treated her changed her view of love and of herself.
She took his innuendo about âpushing strollersâ as a sign of potential commitment, whereas he ultimately meant it as foreplay, and she was too young and naive to know the difference. So not only did she learn from that that this man (and men) didnât view commitment and family the way she did and that it was something to be toyed with, but she also learned that her value to them among other things was sex. Imagine being an idealistic 20 year old and your boyfriend ten years your senior tells you, âif the sex is anywhere near as good as our dates have been, weâre going to be making babies before you know it,â (e.g. this is relationship is serious) and then he dumps you: does that imply that the sex was not in fact that good? (E.g. that youâre not worthy after all?)
No, obviously from this side of life, itâs because he was a commitment-phobic playboy, even if he did love her, but she couldnât have known that at 20 and instead internalized that shame. But, it did send her on a path of how she approached sex and love and relationships for over a decade afterwards. And her coming to the realization that that first act of (perhaps unintentional) manipulation is what informed her actions thereafter helped her break the pattern. Her worth to men is not just sex, she has value and her hopes and dreams have value, she doesnât have to change into a different person to please anyone, because if that is what they want, they wonât ever want her anyway.
Itâs been described here on Tumblr by people more eloquent and astute than I as a song that encapsulates the album as this: one did it slow (partner), one did it fast (conman), and one did it first (first love)â and that is haunting. After years of men minimizing her dreams and desires, if not outright using them against her, sheâs finally at the point where she can let it all go and move on for good. (Thereâs a whole other tangent about consent and shame and manipulation, but thatâs an entirely different kind of discussion. But it is so devastatingly contrasted with âyou said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine, and that made me want to die.â)
THE SUMMATION
This is just my interpretation of it, but in going through the standard album, it feels pretty clear how cohesive the album is about a story of love and loss and grief, then reckoning with what caused it all in the first place that set a person on this path. Itâs a formative experience at a young age that was traumatic and led to certain coping mechanisms and a shaping of oneâs self-perception, as well as the reaction to external pressures that try to dictate behaviours and influence how one feels one deserves out of love which makes it harder to know when one absolutely deserves more and better. And leaves one struggling to cope with loss when there isnât anything else to hold onto. Then in light of oneâs life blowing up, learning to find oneself in the aftermath all over again.
On another tangent that is somewhat related to the theme of loss, the way she writes about the two main muses on the standard album also ties into how the situations converged to create absolute carnage on her emotional and mental well-being. With one situation, sheâs talking about a concrete life that crumbles under the weight of their struggles; with the other, the entire thing is a fantasy that she builds up in her head, and when it comes to fruition it falls far, far short.
If you look at the âmicrowaveâ (conman) relationship, you realize that almost everything she writes about it happens before it actually becomes reality, and itâs mostly her imagining how great itâll be, but with few exceptions, when she writes about what actually occurred, it doesnât even come close to living up to her expectations. âFortnightâ is an imagined future where she escapes to Florida and his touch finally starts her stalled engine (ahem). âTTPDâ is perhaps the most positive retelling of their time together, but even that implies he was better off stoned and when he sobered up he succumbed to his demons all over again, and more importantly she conveys how she also is in extreme distress, barely concealed by the veneer of being infatuated with him. (E.g. saying to that sheâll kill herself if he ever leaves her â the implication is that she is absolutely serious about it when she âfelt seen.â) And that the warning bells are going off in her head, but she feels like this person is the only one she can be with (because theyâre equally fucked up and the chaos he brings into her life makes her feel alive when she felt so close to death).
âDown Badâ is the most explicit about being in love, but sheâs also left completely confused and disoriented by him disappearing, wondering if any of it was real and the seeds of violation creep into her consciousness (âdid you really beam me up in a cloud of sparkling dust just to do experiments on?â âWaking up in blood.â). âBut Daddyâ is her imagining she can tell everyone to fuck off for telling her what to do with her life. âFresh Out The Slammerâ is her fantasizing about this man while feeling trapped in her relationship â but never in the song is she actually reunited with him; sheâs using him as the projection of all the things sheâll make right after being wronged by her partner. âGuilty As Sin?â Is very obviously about her fantasizing about sleeping with him, but again itâs such a minefield for her because it hasnât happened yet; theyâve only just reconnected. âI Can Fix Himâ is the only song other than âTTPDâ that shows them actually together, and itâs the one where she keeps saying, essentially, âI know heâs gross but I can rehabilitate him into an upstanding person, trust me,â until the mic drop at the end of the song where it finally hits her that no, she canât, because this is who he is, not the person sheâs built him up to be.
âLomlâ is when it all comes crashing down, and the song emphasizes everything he did and told her, e.g. that sheâs the love of his life, but she doesnât return the sentiment in the song about their time together. Because now that itâs past tense, she knows it wasnât actually love. (And says as much in the album epilogue poem.) âBroken Heartâ is her reeling in the aftermath, but again, itâs âhe said,â not âI loved.â And then thereâs âThe Smallest Man,â where she eviscerates him: he also pursued an idea of her but didnât care much for the real her in front of him (who else is gonna know me?), he love bombed her only to hurt her (crushing her dreams), he was constantly stoned (and not just in the funny munchies kind of way), and he wasnât even a good lover (despite the fantasy sheâd created before). That last point is especially striking because she spent albums singing about the importance of and pleasure in (sexual) intimacy in the relationship with her partner (sometimes to both their own detriment) and how it was at times the only way they could connect, but in this case, the idea she hyped up and acted on in her head about this lover never panned out in practice. She spells it out in the epilogue: it wasnât a love affair, it was a mutual manic phase.
In contrast, thereâs a lot more tangible action in the âovenâ (partner) parts of the album, showing how hard she tried to make the relationship work in real life instead of just in her head. All of âSo Long, Londonâ is her detailing how she tried to break through to him and support him, even when he rejected it and pushed her away, thinking she could carry them both until they ultimately sank, but she did it because she âloved this place for so long.â (The place? Not just the city, but the home and perhaps most importantly, him.) In âSlammerâ she stayed with him even as things disintegrated for âone hour of sunshine.â (E.g. holding onto the rarer good times even as they were fewer and further between, hoping things would eventually turn around.) And like in âLondon,â she held on despite people in her life pleading with her that it was hurting her. (Which is also echoed in âSlammer.â) In âGuiltyâ her boredom is âbone deepâ because the passion that once drove their relationship (and papered over their problems) has finally gone out too, so thereâs nothing left to hold onto, leading to her fantasizing about the new suitor, which makes her realize her relationship has passed the point of no return. âLomlâ is about the conman on the surface, but the undercurrent of all the things she says about him is that he was co-opting the dreams that she was clinging onto for dear life in the previous relationship, which is why the con is so painful; the field of dreams he sets ablaze isnât just the fake painting he sold to her, but the original artifact (her life with her partner) too.
All the physical and emotional labour she puts into the relationship with her partner ends up reflected in the fantasizing she does in the one with the conman, which is why it is so confusing in the moment and so lethal when he leaves her without any answers. She wants to get married and start a family with her partner which keeps getting stalled; the conman mock-proposes which makes her think heâs immediately serious (âTTPD,â âlomlâ). She feels caged by having to hide with her partner and shrink herself; the conman promises heâll stand by her side publicly and let her shine (âSmallest Manâ). She sinks into a deep depression in her loneliness as the relationship with her partner careens off a cliff; the conman convinces her theyâre meant for each other in a them-against-the-world way (âDown Badâ). The intimacy (in all senses of the word) in her relationship with her partner fizzles; the conman stokes the fire by sending her secret messages and reigniting passion (âGuiltyâ). She spent years trying to help her partner to no avail; the conman makes her think she has the power to reform him (âlomlâ). She feels misunderstood by her partner; the conman acts like heâs the (only) one who truly gets her (âTTPD,â âlomlâ).
In short: thereâs nothing that the conman does or says that isnât a direct response to what her partner did first, and itâs even worse because the conman knew how much her partnerâs actions hurt her and he used that privileged information to paint a picture of what he could give her, but in doing so in some ways aimed at her heart with even deadlier accuracy. (Iâve likened it to him borrowing someone elseâs life for his own joyride, until he crashes the rental car and flees the scene.) Itâs why in the aftermath, the difference in emotions are so different: she feels nothing but rage and violation towards the conman for getting in her head and using her, whereas her feelings towards her partner are more complicated. Thereâs anger (at her lost youth and being taken for granted), but thereâs also sorrow (at their lost life and future), disappointment (that he never could step up the way heâd promised or sheâd needed), even compassion (towards his struggles) and a tiny measure of appreciation (for the good times they did share).
When you look at the bigger picture, the story the album paints is just so painfully normal. You have two people (Taylor and her partner) who once loved each other deeply, and despite warning signs early on telling them they have fundamentally different needs and ways of living their lives they fight like hell to make it work (the epilogue) until those warning signs become grenades that destroy their home (âMy Boy,â âLondon,â âSlammer,â arguably âlomlâ). Having already been through at least one rough patch/break/breakup that she felt almost destroyed her (harkening back to Midnights on âYouâre Losing Me,â âThe Great Warâ and âHits Differentâ), the final and fatal downward spiral of the relationship (âYLM,â âLondonâ) and the grief over losing that future sends her into a tailspin, just at the time where a flame from the past (the conman) reenters her life and tells her all the things sheâs been longing to hear and feel (âTTPD,â âDown Bad,â âGuilty,â âlomlâ) and, crucially, missing from the relationship that was once her entire life.
So in her panic, she falls prey to the (empty) promises of the past lover (âloml,â âSmallest Manâ) and decides heâs actually what will save her from the free fall, because the alternative (that she will end up in a situation she doesnât think she can survive) is too painful to bear. When she finally acts on these circumstances (leaves her partner/runs to the conman), she snaps, acting on pure emotion and adrenaline (âBut Daddyâ), but before she knows it, the new lover abandons her, and sheâs left to reckon with the fallout of the episode and process everything that has happened (âDown Bad,â âlomlâ) â with the conman, with her partner, with the choices made in her adult life personally and professionally which leads her back to the moment she feels set her down that road at the start.
The TL;DR of this unintentionally long essay is that the reason the conman affair was so serious was precisely because it was meant to fulfill the promise of what was her life with her partner. To me, a large part of the story is that she projected that life onto the conman (or he projected her life back to her for his own purposes) because she wasnât ready to deal with that massive grief and the life raft he offered felt like the only alternative to an even darker end. Whether the conman actually believed what he told her, or he went along with it or encouraged it because it served his purpose, weâll never know, just like weâll never know the finer details of what went on (nor should we). But no matter what, the album is just an extreme deep dive into all the ways grief can consume us, and whether itâs a long, drawn-out death or a sudden, inexplicable one, it can turn a personâs life into such a trainwreck that they act in ways unfathomable to even them, let alone the people around them. It can also unleash repressed trauma and mental illness that can crater your sense of self. And when those situations are compounded? It makes for a nearly impossible type of breakdown to unpack. (Which is why you might need a 31 song album to process it.)
#What if i told you Iâm back lol#Time for me to finally just post the thing after itâs been sitting in my drafts for so long so I can rid myself of it lol#Writing letters addressed to the fire#the tortured poets department#Consider this a treat before Eras comes back for its swan song leg idk#Would you believe that as long as this is#i deleted quite a few chunks of it from the original draft i sent to a friend(s) in the interest of ~propriety~#Because they were a little too rambly and umâ ~speculative~/personal/etc and we are flying too close to the sun#And i tried to be as tactful and more or less stick to things we can point to in the music and such#So hope people catch my drift lmao but also iykyk i guess#I have so many other themes I want to talk about but I never have any time#I have so much more i want to say and yet#wavesoutbeingtossed: The Anthology#Also if things get weird i will turn off reblogs/delete the post tbd#This is not an invitation to get into muse ranting or debate in my inbox and I ask that you please respect my boundaries :)#Midnights#lover#folklore#evermore
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since my pacific rim brain rot doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon, i'm thinking about how losing your drift partner while still connected to them through the neural handshake is the cruelest way to lose anyone ever. even crueler when you consider ghost drifting. so after all those years of piloting together how much of yancy's mannerisms thoughts etc has raleigh retained? has he dreamt yancy's dreams? how much of him is now yancy too? yes, raleigh might have lost a piece of himself when yancy died, but it's also the way yancy's ghost will forever be inside his head (in a very literal sense). he has to grieve someone who will live inside him forever and that makes me very sad because how are you supposed to move on from that?
#pacific rim#raleigh becket#yancy becket#pacrim#drift compatible#yeah im definitely not insane about this movie#((it's the only thing keeping me from spiraling these days))#to preface ive only been in the fandom for 2 months so i apologize if this isnt canon or lore accurate#idrk what's the most accurate lore for ghost drifting but im just basing it off of what ive read#also this made me realize that my boy raleigh really went through it huh
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Conversations on here will basically be like
"Hey these new reproductive rights issues are affecting trans men too so let's make sure we include them in the conversation, instead of calling it women's health issues."
"Would you stop complaining? Trans women have it worse than trans men. TERFs want to kill us but only detransition you."
"If living as the gender you are not is so easy why would you transition in the first place? Obviously trans people transition because they can't live with existing as a gender they are not. Obviously "just going back" isn't an option because we often fail to behave the way we're expected to anyway. Forcing any trans person to detransition is a death sentence in and of itself."
"Why are you always speaking over transfems when we talk about transmisogynistic violence???"
#transandrophobia#its the conversation being about trans mascs to begin with that does it for me#yeah im sorry i interupted the beginning of your sentence with the middle of mine so rude of me#and the ultimate frustration is the topic has drifted so far off course#from including trans men in reproductive healthcare#and nobody cares#functionally i would just like access to reproductive healthcare#and you are the one pulling attention from that by turning it into a whataboutisms conversation#nothing that trans men want to acheive by being part of the conversation about reproductive health precludes trans women also getting rights#but telling trans men to shut up and listen to trans women because they have it worse#IS INTENTIONALLY LEAVING TRANS MEN BEHIND#not to mention arguing about who has it worse is what creates false dichotomies that leave out nonbinary people on top of it
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You should be able to like, open a menu inside your head and view the statistics for how much time you spent thinking about various topics
#me: âI wish I could be like everyone else who always talks about the blorbos being on their mind all the time#but sometimes I'm thinking about other stuff :(â#also me: *reciting lines I liked from memory in the grocery store and mentally planning out an animatic while helping with gardening#and unable to fall asleep without putting the guys in situations until I drift off#and never sure how to join into conversations because head is just chanting the name of the media*#just me rambling
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my brother sent me a link to a yt video and was like "IDK why I watched 1/3 of this now I cant sleep and I'm definitely going to have nightmares đ" and I realized it was the exact hour long video about US govt involvement in snuff film circles that I put on to fall asleep to 2 nights in a row. But of course I can't say that so I just sent him a more booboo baba video as a palate cleanser
#i play my âwatch laterâ list from wherever i remember drifting off#regardless of what the video may be#only time ive ever felt kind of creeped out was while watching a video that showed footage of targeted individuals being genuinely targeted#but then the video got into the story of a guy who accidentally found out that there were organized gang stalkers in his area and he decided#to join them for research purposes and to dispel the myths about why these ppl do this sort of thing#which reminded me that âgang stalkersâ are just goal-oriented people like anyone else and they target people for a reason#usually.#but its easy to be less spooked when you remember that no one is unstalkable... especially not someone who is stalking you.#so yeah note to all âtargeted individualsâ just target them back how hard could it be theyre not ghosts they're regular ass people ffs
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Your Marika and family art is some of my favorite stuff to see on my dash; I'm curious what your take on Maliketh is! I don't think I've seen any of your pieces feature him (:
(i have drawn Maliketh before, but it's pre-DLC so it's mostly just fluff fanart haha)
i had a pretty harsh reading on how Maliketh and Marika's relationship could be at first and tbh i still think so now. but when i think about how her betrayal to Maliketh in the end could be her trying to help Godwyn gain a second life as Lord of TWLiD (burying Godwyn right at the Erdtree root, still leaving him there even when he started spreading Deathroot around, guidance of grace waking Fia up, the Death Knights in LoS), trying to accept Death now that it's sth that could give her Godwyn back (and thus Maliketh was feeling guilty and teaming up with Radagon's GO hunters for... nothing), it opens up to more possibilities i guess? that it's not always tense and her betrayal in the end is not only out of pure grievance towards him specifically?
i could see that at one point the closed off and always on edge Marika, fresh off heartbreak and ascension, would slowly open up to Maliketh and start to rely on him more (while still aware of the sleeper agent the Two Fingers has in him or sth).
& i do think Messmer grew up with Godfrey & Maliketh in the picture, his armor plates and colour palette of black and gold mirror Maliketh after all. so they probably were a dysfunctionally normal family once.
i just need to find a way to put him in some art đ
#rustedwoman#ask#reply#er brainrot#i srl think pre-Erdtree age family is literally a traumatized girl struggling to get used to godhood +her high school sweetheart bear hunte#that's carrying the guilt of not being able to make it in time to protect her from that horrid fate#+ the cursed kid that popped out right after her ascension who to her is the first blessing in this new life#+ the (girldad) dog bro the alien God threw at her right off the bat#and the red hair dude that drift in and out the picture now and then (that is her other half made flesh also after her ascension and she#did not know how to feel about yet)
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i am forever surprised that weâve had laudna flying patĂŠ like a kite and fly-girl imogen calling her her tether and yet iâve never seen art of laudna holding onto imogen like a helium balloon
like. what a missed opportunity
#if i could draw people i would for sure draw this#in my head imogen goes drifting off when sheâs stressed#and laudna tethers her and just kind of#walks off with her#like yes this has been a lot so iâm leaving and imogenâs coming with me#weâre gonna go find a panera#imogenâs so smart sheâll see it so much easier from high up#critical role#cr3#cr thoughts#imodna
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summertime âď¸ !!!
#YAYYY GOOFY WEIRD FLESH GIRL !!! i imagine sheâs just shifting her hair and eye colors around all the time#jrwi#jrwi pd#summer jrwi#summer dileo#jrwi prime defenders#antâs art tag#We are trying to post this again! Because this website hates putting any of my posts in the tags!#Anyways#Every time she shapeshifts she gets more and more off from her original appearance. Thats a thing in canon she is slowly looking less and#less like her original body#Can we talk about this can we think about this#bc i am thinking about this#A lot#girls when they get burned up alive and then remade with fake goop flesh.#and are drifting further and further from their original appearance. and maybe donât even notice#Also the cardigan isnt part of the hero fit i just wanted to draw it#shes taking a break for a sec !#can we bring her back. season 3 bring her back Pleeeaasseee please please . the sillyâŚâŚ. the silly who also gets more concerning the more#you think about it#has id
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the inevitable sharpe and temeraire crossover in my mind of course involves teresa moreno as a dragon-captain.
#em draws stuff#em is posting about temeraire#em is posting about sharpe#sharpe#teresa moreno#I was seized by a fit of mind-boggling passionate enthusiasm and drew this in a matter of hours#as far as I know we don't really hit the peninsula on-page in temeraire canon so I Am Free To Imagine What I Please#am I going to write this? probably not. am I going to Ponder Vividly? yes.#tune back in eventually for when I draw the dragons from the actual series - I have Ideas but it's going to take a bit I think#mostly because temeraire and the gang are simply Hugelarge...#(the most solid mental design I've got is for volly actually - he's little enough that I can wrap my head around him!)#anyway time to drift off and envision teresa lofting over the hills of spain... I am so so so normal about her <- lie
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