#But I'm happIER to be finally getting back to fanfic

[analysisace]

I cannot express the depth of joy at finishing my degree...

Not because of my degree but because I can finally let myself read all the fanfics updates I've been having to ignore for the last 3 months so I could focus on finals.

Honestly the joy right now is INSANE

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!human!reader/female!dreamwalker!reader

Neteyam is aged up.

Chapter 2

CW: angst, reader hates her life, neteyam is like her "secret admirer" but he eventually becomes obsessed, so, it gives off some creepy vibes, possessive neteyam, forbidden love, neteyam is REALLY protective over her, neteyam isn't really fond of humans (hates them) and only makes an exception for reader, TRIGGER WARNING for a few depression symptoms (such as reader holding back tears and looking miserable really often), stalking, obsessive behavior & possessiveness

Synopsis: Reader is unhappy with her human life. She works for the lab as a cook. She's a Dreamwalker and she spends every free day she gets walking through Pandora's forests. In one of those days, Neteyam sees her but she doesn't notice him. He falls in love, seeing how happy she is amidst nature. Neteyam finds out she's actually a human in an Avatar, so, he finds a way to go where her real body is. He hates to admit it but, seeing her in her human body, he realizes he still loves her. After watching her, he notices how she's always happier when she's in her Avatar, so, he develops a deeper connection to her. However, he becomes obsessive. Reader has only heard about him, the famous son of Jake Sully and future Olo'eyktan, praised for his great achievements as a young Omatikaya. After getting reader's attention, Neteyam asks her to choose to live forever in her Avatar, becoming his mate and making tsaheylu with him, gaining a new home as a fresh member of his tribe. Reader is scared and torn, since, even though she's intensely attracted to him and only truly enjoys life when she's Dreamwalking, she doesn't really know him and she's afraid of dying when trying to go past Eywa's eye. But Neteyam just won't give up on her that easily.

♡ This is Reader's Avatar

☆ This is the official playlist for this story, the songs I listen to while working on it.

•

Finally, this fanfic is out!! lots of people seemed to love the tiny sneak peek I posted so... I hope you guys will love the fanfic itself too hehe I'm so relieved I could finally post it ooof My environment is the worst EVER rn & i haven't had any motivation or focus to write lately BUT i seem to be getting out of that damned writer's block I was in (ITS THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD UGH HATE IT TO DEATH)

Not proofread. My life is a hurricane, so, we don't work with proofread stories here. Hope you find it in your hearts to forgive me, my angels :')

na'vi words:

yawne - beloved

tsaheylu - the neurological bond the na'vi make with their mate, through their tendrils, at the end of their long braid.

Chapter 1

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

I love your touch, cold as ice

And I love every single tear you cry

I just love the way you're losing your life

Oh, my baby, how beautiful you are

Oh, my darling, completely torn apart

Gone With The Sin (HIM)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Neteyam would look at you every moment he could. He didn't have that much free time since he was the Olo'eyktan's son and had so many responsibilities weighting on his shoulders. But he would always make any sacrifice he needed to make to find time to see you. Even if it meant using the few hours he had to himself to contemplate you. His sad, gloomy-eyed, beautiful girl. You were not actually his yet, but, he was determined to make that change.

Neteyam saw you holding back tears way too damn often, so, he was always deeply worried about you, and, that was one of the reasons why he was always creeping around, high up in branches of trees located in Hell's Gate, watching over you, almost every day, ready to help you, defend you from any danger, to say "screw it" to how out of the blue it would be if he - a stranger, a male na'vi stranger - just came up to you and said "hey, I've been watching you for a while, and… I'm so, so in love with you. Please, leave this damn idiotic human life you live and let Eywa help you be transferred to your Avatar body for good, just like she helped my father. You're so insanely pretty like this - and I have never felt attracted to any female of your demon kind before, so, believe me when I talk about your beauty - but you look even prettier when you're in your Avatar form. Let me make you my mate, let me make you the future Olo'eyktan's mate. I can give you a far better life than the one you have now"

He knew he was just a weird alien boy (as the humans would probably say), stalking you, always up in the highest tree branches he could find and reach, watching a girl while she cooks - as it was your job - like a hunter watching their prey. But he meant no harm. On the contrary, he meant to take care of you, to save you from it all. Because he wasn't blind. Neteyam saw how unhappy you looked while peeling potatoes (he knew what they were because his dad who was once human told him and his siblings about how delicious that vegetable from Earth tasted, especially when it was made as French fries) to cook on the high-tech stove the humans used to prepare their meals in and prepare mashed potatoes to those damn lab guys who invaded his Planet and did nothing but harm.

Neteyam thought it to be unnecessary. His future mate could easily prepare the same potatoes in a bonfire he would light up for you in the Omatikaya forest. He knew they would taste even better roasted in the natural fire than just plainly cooked in that energy fueled cooking device the humans used. He could give you a life so incredibly better than the one you had right now, it pained him to see his yawne working so hard to feed every damn scientist in that cold, air-conditioned lab while not being as appreciated and thanked by them as you deserved to be. You could be preparing food to feed his children instead, the sons and daughters he would give you, if only you accepted becoming his forever mate.

He hated the humans. They didn't know how to lead a proper life. But you were different.

Neteyam knew how breathtaking you looked in a na'vi like body because the first time he saw you, you were in your Avatar body - as you were a Dreamwalker - and that's when he fell in love with you. But he learned to love your human body too. He could never hate you, even in your human form. You were the only human he did not despise.

The day Neteyam first saw you, he was out in the forest to hunt and gather food, collecting bladder polyps, lionberry seeds and trying to kill a hexapede, so, he could bring all of it home and him and his family could eat a nutritious dinner.

That's when he heard a squeaky, funny laugh. It was a female voice, he recognized. Neteyam followed that sound just like he was a sailor and the girl whose laugh he heard was a mermaid, bewitching his senses and drawing him closer.

When he saw you, it was like his heart was going to explode in a thousand pieces, so fast it was beating inside his rigid ribcage, so strongly the blood was being pumped through his arteries. He knew he had to make you his mate, to have you forever.

Neteyam had always been a practical and rational young man, he had to be. He was the eldest son and had to look after his 3 younger siblings and not show a single sign of weakness when his father would scold him in a harsh tone, whenever any of his siblings - specially his younger brother, Lo'ak -, got into trouble and somehow, Neteyam ended up having to take responsibility over their actions. "But that girl… that beautiful, ethereal girl… she makes me believe in things I've never even considered before. I know it sounds stupid to say that about a girl I just met, only some minutes ago but I don't care", he thought. Only he and Eywa herself knew the raw, powerful feeling he was experiencing at that moment. He just wanted to let go for a while. To not force himself to be all brains, zero heart for once, just once. And you were gifting him the opportunity to do just that. Your beauty was so enchanting, it could leave any creature in awe.

His father had once told him about Christianity, one of the most popular religions back on the glory days of the Planet Earth, and, of course he didn't follow those beliefs, his spirituality was completely based on Eywa, the Great Mother, the spirit and moving energy of Pandora, but, if the beings called "angels" his father talked about were real, Neteyam was utterly sure that they could only look like you.

You were perfect. Every curve of your body, every bioluminescent freckle, every pattern of your stripes, your long dark braided hair falling like water on your flawless back, as you kept smiling and touching every single flower you could see, playing in a foolish way, just like a child. He felt a primal urge coming from his guts to make tsaheylu with you right there, right at that moment.

So many thoughts roamed through Neteyam's mind: "I need her… right here, right now. She's… ugh… I've never felt anything like this before… What's going on with your stupid mind, Neteyam?! You can't just choose any girl to be your mate, you'll be the next Olo'eyktan, remember?! The best choice would be a girl who has a calling to be Tsahìk. Maybe your parents will try to arrange a marriage, to find the perfect match for you. Damn! Who am I trying to fool? She is the only perfect match for me…"

Neteyam started to watch you go about the forest every chance he got.

When he found out you were actually a Dreamwalker, a human in a body created in a laboratory, a hybrid of demon and na'vi, a freak... It was like his world was falling apart, piece by tiny piece crashing on the floor. How did he not notice your fifth finger before?! Was he that much under your spell, that blinded by how beautiful and charming you were?, he asked himself.

So, he told himself he was going to find a way to at least see what your true form looked like. He hissed at the thoughts and feelings you had caused him the whole way to Hell's Gate, where the laboratory was and where he knew all the humans that stayed in Pandora and had an Avatar stayed.

When Neteyam saw you in your human body, he got hit by something as strong as lightning. The moment he sniffed your sweet scent (the smell you had in your Avatar had notes of your original human scent, as your DNA was used to build that body), the moment he recognized that melodious voice… The expression in those eyes, that smile, that laughter… it was you. His yawne.

He didn't understand how that was possible, what he was feeling. Nevertheless, he realized he still loved you. His heart still beat fast for you. It didn't matter which physical form you took. Na'vi or human. You were you. And he loved you. Madly.

His people had a great contempt towards the ones who Dreamwalked. They were "demons in false bodies", like his grandma and his mother always said. And Neteyam himself felt the same. Worse, he had felt disgusted by the love and desire you made him feel, back when he watched you wandering around the Omatikaya lands, when you would jump like a little kid, so happy playing with the bioluminescent, neon plants of the forest.

But, still, that feeling lingered inside him. The attachment, the deep affection, the devotion… He could not comprehend it.

All Neteyam could grasp was that he hated all humans, but you were the only exception.

Even though you were originally human, you had a na'vi heart. He just knew that. As crazy and impossible as it sounded, he figured out it was true. And that blew his mind. That sorrowful girl he was seeing cooking in a small technological kitchen was not the same one he had seen at the forest. But it was, at the same time. It apparently made no sense, but it actually did. You were not where you belonged. You did not belong imprisoned among those four walls that the other humans kept you in. That you were keeping yourself in. You belonged free amidst the Pandoran trees. You did not belong in those big human clothes. You belonged in a comfortable loincloth and a big leaf necklace covering your beautiful breasts, letting the wind hit your skin.

You seemed out of place in that environment you were currently in. And that made Neteyam feel something so overpowering. He knew it was useless to try and fight it. He was not even sure if he even wanted to fight it anymore. That feeling was good. It felt just like what he felt when he thought you were a na'vi girl. He even felt attracted to you, even though he still thought you looked much prettier in your Avatar body.

He was fully aware you were one of the demons. But you were not like the rest of them. You were special. He could tell that. He could tell you'd be a hundred per cent happier if he could convince you to become na'vi. And that's exactly what he was planning to do. He still did not know how, but he would find a way.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@crazy4books1

@samistars

@lik0

@miri-belle

@nerdybouquetofkittens-blog

@xxunnie

@your-girl-mj

@sereisstuff

@darktyrantwinner

@henhouse-horrors

@explosiongamora

@yeosxxx

[thedevilsoftruth]

♡ " Should We Have a Baby? " ♡

Pairing: Shane x afab reader

Summary: After you come home late one night and have to deal with finishing Shane's fight to put Jas to bed, you eventually wind down with Shane for the night, and you both finally act on something you've been promising to do for years.

Warning: Smut. Not beta read!! Established ( married ) relationship, Breeding kink, Shane is sickeningly sweet to the reader and cracks jokes in bed, dom! Shane, oral & fingering ( f receiving ) unprotected PIV ( please don't try this at home, istg )

Notes: Here, I grant you this first ever Shane fanfic I wrote. Of course, it's not the first one to be posted here, but it was the first one I wrote... and so far the longest. This one was just... sitting in my drafts, and I just suddenly got the urge to finish it. Enjoy!

♡♡♡♡♡

It had been hours past Jas' bedtime. You had gotten home late after doing extra work on the farm after the green rain, and Jas had never been happier to see you in her life. Shane had been trying for hours to get her to bed, but Jas kept refusing until you were there with her. The second you got in the door, you were met with her loud crying, and Shane's soft-spoken pleads for her to behave.

" Sweetie, I need you to get in bed. It's way past your bedtime. " Shane cooed in between grunts as he carried her in his arms into her bedroom. He seemed oddly calm in that situation, given he freaked out any time she would drop a snack bowl. He was only at the threshold of the room, and she was grabbing the doorframe to try and do anything but go into her bed.

" I want y/n!! " She screamed, throwing her head side to side, viciously disagreeing as tears streamed down her face. Shane had that worried dad look on his face.

" I know, sweetheart. You'll see her in the morning-- " he cut himself off when he noticed you entering the hallway. His eyes widened with unmistaken relief, and his arms loosened around Jas' torso, instantly enabling her to sprint to freedom.

" I'm home. " You said, squatting down to her height and opening your arms, allowing her to jump freely into a warm embrace. She squealed in excitement as you wrapped your arms around her and rose to your feet with her wrapped around you tightly. Shane was smiling tiredly before you, looking like he hadn't slept in days.

" Y/n! Shane is so mean to me! He wouldn't let me go outside to see you!! " Jas sobbed into your shoulder, making your already dirty blouse wet. You ran you hand up and down her back soothingly, and Shane couldn't help but silently laugh at her dramatic explanations.

" Ah, you'll love me again in the morning when I make you pancakes. " Shane jokingly bribed as he came up to you and made your singular embrace with Jas a very warm group hug. He gave your forehead a kiss and your shoulder a squeeze as a sort of greeting, amd Jas glared at him with big, wet eyes. He patted her head and looked at her lovingly.

" Lets get you to bed, Jas. " You told her. She was once looking at Shane angrily and now was looking at you with a big smile on her face. She nodded her head in agreement, and you went off to go lay her in her bed. Shane stayed at the doorway, crossing his arms as he watched you pull the covers over Jas.

" Do you want Shane to tell you goodnight? " You asked her. She looked at Shane from the doorway, and he gave her a smile with his teeth and a wave, and she stuck her tongue out at him and pointed her thumb downwards.

" No! Shane is a meanie. I don't want to talk to him! " Jas practically yelled, shaking her head ' no ' and crossing her arms. Shane smiled with his eyebrows raised, fighting every piece of him that made him a good father to try and not burst out laughing then and there. You were also trying not to start laughing, so you smiled at her warmly and pulled her purple bangs back to kiss her forehead.

"Goodnight, Jas," you told her as you shut off the lamp on her nightstand, the pink light illuminating the room now disappearing into the darkness. You bent down underneath the nightstand and flipped on a blue nightlight so she wouldn't get scared in the dark. If Shane had a dime for every time he forgot to turn it on and was met with a whimpering Jas at his bedside thirty minutes after he put her to bed, he'd be swimming in riches. You gave Jas one last look before heading towards the door in case she had anything else to say, but she seemed completely knocked out.

" Goodnight, Jas. Don't let the green slimes bite you in your sleep. " Shane tormented her one last time, blowing her a kiss and immediately being met with her high-pitched squealing.

" Get out, Shane! " She told him off, pointing towards the door. Shane cackled evilly, chanting the word ' okay ' as he walked out of the room and shut the door behind him. The second the door shut, you couldn't help but break out into laughter. You put your hand on his shoulder, laughing so hard you were practically hollering. It was so bad that both of you were tearing up and wheezing.

" Ah, she's so cute. " Shane said through his recovering laughter. He wrapped his arm around your waist and walked you off into your shared bedroom down the hall. He opened the door, stopped at the doorway, and got close to your ear, a wicked grin suddenly appearing on his face.

" I want another one. " At first, his words came off as a silly joke you could just brush off your shoulders, but given your past conversations with him, he wasn't joking. Having a child of his own, a child he could make with the right woman, was something he dreamed about for ages. He wanted something to take pride in. Something of his own, something special.

" You want another one? " You repeated, shutting the door and pulling the band that kept your ponytail up out of your hair. Of course, having children was something you both had been talking about since your wedding night three years but you weren't sure if he was serious or not. The look on his face said otherwise. He was giving you that motionless like he was stuck in time, mouth agape smile as he stared at you silently.

" Baby, we've talked about this. You've got one hell of a short memory span, don't you? " He chuckled, dotting your forehead with his finger only a lot harder than he intended. He smiled and sat on the corner of your shared, queen-sized bed, taking off his shoes while you made your way for your bathroom. You sighed, unbuckling your overalls and letting them pull at your feet. Shane couldn't help but glance over as you lifted your white t-shirt above your head, biting his bottom lip as he looked you up and down.

" You seriously don't remember? last week? We made love, and you told me during our bath afterward that you wanted a daughter. " Shane reminded you, smiling devilishly as he reflected on that night. You thought about it, and the harder you looked back on it, the more you remembered. Shane could never forget about it. you openly told him you wanted to have kids. Even if you both had been making tiny comments after taking care of Jas all day for years that went a little something like, " We should have kids, " you were now openly telling him, "Let's have kids. " Shane probably wanted kids more than you did. He wanted to take care of you and the farm for nine months as you bared his child. He wanted to hold your hand as you gave birth and see that child of his grow up. He wanted to give Jas a sibling and continue his bloodline so he could contribute to his family in some way.

Shane took off his jacket and stood up from the bed with a groan, walking up behind you in the bathroom and wrapping his arms around your bare waist. You shivered under his touch but quickly melted into his embrace. He buried his face into your neck and gave your skin a kiss.

" We've been together for five years, married for three. Let's make love, baby. Let's have a kid. " Shane spoke into your warm skin, rocking your body side to side as he kissed you gently. You put your hand on his hairy forearm, taking your time to process what he was saying. He trailed a hot kiss to the sweet spot of your neck, causing you to lightly gasp aloud. He hummed a tune into your skin, awaiting your response.

" Let's get it on. " He sang in a voice that was way too deep to fit him, taking you by the hand and spinning you around in front of him. You giggled, your cheeks burning at his overly sweet tactic of " getting you into the mood. " That's what you liked about Shane. He was a dork. He didn't need bad-boy charisma to still be sexy when he had a kind heart and jokes to crack. That all put together, and him simply singing a Marvin Gaye song in the most unserious way possible was enough for you to sign your night away to trying to have kids with him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. He put his hand on your cheek, his thumb grazing over your cheekbone gently.

" What are you thinkin', baby? " He asked when you pulled away, still holding you close as if someone were going to take you from him.

" Well, baby. Let's get it on. " You told him with a huge grin plastered on your face. That grin rubbed off on him, and he wasted no time picking you up by your thighs and letting you wrap your legs around him. He kissed you deeply, carefully, and slowly carrying you to your shared bed. He gently laid you down on the edge of the bed, letting your legs dangle off the mattress so he could wine and dine you like a five-star Michelin restaurant perfectly. Shane wasn't normally a kisser, but that night he was. For some reason, he couldn't keep his lips off you. He couldn't stop his hungry desire to touch every inch of you, and that showed through his harsh, wet, breathless kisses on your soft lips. He trailed down to your jaw and reached underneath you to unclasp your bra. You returned the favor by unzipping his shorts, eager for what rested inside them.

" Mm, looks like tonight happened to be the best night to be out of condoms. " He joked through a chuckle, kicking his pants and boxers off, continuing his long trail of kisses down to your abdomen. He sat down on his knees on the carpet, grabbing your thighs gently and spreading them apart.

" Just to make sure, you're one hundred percent okay with this? " He asked, scanning your eyes for any signs of discomfort. As he looked at you, all he could see was your unwavering determination as you bit your lip and nodded in agreement. Your cheeks were pink, lips plump and wet from your past kissing session, eyes looking down at him with anticipation that made his cock twitch. You needed it just as bad as he did, and he could see your desire written in the way you looked at him.

" Thank you for being honest. Just.. sit back and relax, I guess. " He told you in a whispery voice, hooking his fingers onto your panties and pulling them off your legs slowly. He breathed in deeply, rested his hands on your hips for stability, and lowered his head between your thighs. His hot breath fanned over your heat, his lips reluctant yet eager as they latched onto your clit, kissing you softly but rough enough to impose a small whimper out of you. His hands ran down to your thighs, the tips of his fingers lightly grazing your skin before grabbing them harshly as his kisses got harder.

He dragged his tongue across your wet folds before making his way back to your tiny bud of nerves, causing your breath to hitch and your thighs to clench around his face. You felt a small smile creep across his lips as he sucked you dry, reminding you that he got off to the feeling of your thighs squeezing his face. He gave you one last kiss before flicking his tongue around your clit, causing a sudden wave of pleasure to crash into you and make your hips buck against him. You bit your finger, gasping uncontrollably as he ate you out like the finest meal he'd ever had. You curled a fist into his messy, deep purple hair for stability, feeling his head bob up and down against you and beneath your fingertips.

Oral was one of Shane's favorites. There was nothing he wanted more than making you feel good. There was nothing he loved more than hearing your tiny squeaks and moans, knowing he was inflicting them on you. There was nothing he needed more than the feeling of your fingers in his hair and your thighs clenching around his face. It was almost the equivalent of pure and utter bliss.

" S-shit, baby. " You moaned, fluttering your eyes shut and craning your head back as endless moans and gasps escaped your mouth. He hummed in response, sending intense waves through your core and making your hips jerk. He put his hands back on your hips, holding you down and growling loudly.

" Mm, stop fucking squirming. " He ordered, looking at you through his bushy eyebrows but still going at it viciously. His sudden roughness was unexpected, taking you off guard but somehow turning you on majorly. Shane liked having you pull his hair and wrap your legs around his face, but the constant jerking was difficult to deal with, even if it was what motivated him to want to fuck you in the first place.

He took a hand off your hip, using his other arm to now rest over your abdomen, parting his lips from your cunt and grazing his thumb over your slippery folds. He ran his thumb over your clit, rolling the small bud around in harsh but agonizingly slow circles as a way to mess with you. He switched out his thumb for his mouth once again and dipped his middle finger into your warm entrance. The sudden contact of both his mouth and tongue on you made your eyes roll into the back of your head, your hand grip his scalp tighter.

He dipped another finger in, making you cry out as he increased his pace. Your hips jerked and bucked into him as he pumped his fingers in and out at the most perfect speed. Your toes curled, and you tugged on his scalp harsher.

" Ha... Shane... fuh-fuck, " you panted, sinking your bottom lip between your teeth and gasping uncontrollably. He purposefully chuckled darkly, knowing exactly what he was doing and once again sending waves to your core that sent you off the edge. He regarded you with a look through his eyebrows, a fire of dangerous confidence fdancing in his eyes. He knew your body like the back of his hand after spending five years of his life with you. He knew what and what not to do to you. He knew all your sweet spots, what techniques to use, what made you come, and what didn't. He was pretty confident with you in bed, given his vast experience with you. You were used to him, and he was sure as hell used to you.

The way your pussy was clenching onto his finger tightly told him that you were close. Which was good because he didn't think he could last another second with the pulsating madness between his legs. He gave your clit a final kiss before sucking on the throbbing ball of nerves, giving your cunt a few final thrusts before you unexpectedly came all over his fingers. He raised his head, waiting for you to finish before pulling out of your soaked warmth.

" Oh, look at that. We're gonna have fun cleaning up later. " He chuckled in a sarcastic tone, sucking the sticky fluids off his middle finger all the while staring at you. He lowered his head back down between your legs, his mouth making contact with your folds one last time, licking up every drop of cum that covered you. Because of his stimulation, you were now completely sensitive to just the feeling of his tongue touching you, your legs jolting at the contact. Your hands went back into his hair, moaning loudly as he lapped up the rest of your mess. When he was done, he raised his head from your heat and licked his lips seductively.

" You ready for me, baby? " He asked, his voice husky and tired as he crawled on top of you, pinning you down and positioning himself between your thighs. You smiled and put a hand on his cheek, the other on his neck so you could pull him down for a kiss to his cheek.

" Fill her up, Superman. " You panted when you pulled away, welcoming him into you as you wrapped your legs around his bare hips. He chuckled darkly and captured your lips back into a hungry kiss while he slowly entered you. You gasped at the contact, and he grabbed your hands and intertwined your fingers, bracing your hands by the side of your head as he slowly pumped into.

" Ah... so slick and wet for me.. mmm. " He moaned against your lips, moving his hand up to your breast to give it a light squeeze. He swiped his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for permission slyly, of which you immediately granted to him. He slipped his tongue into your mouth, playing with yours as his thumb toyed with your nipple. You moaned into his mouth, your hands finding their way on his back as he pumped slow, steady thrusts into you. He pulled away from the kiss to catch his breath, putting his hand on the side of your face and grazing his thumb over your puffy, wet lips.

" You're so fuckin' gorgeous, sugar. God, I just wanna ravish you. " He grunted, increasing his pace without warning and making you yelp in surprise. He looked you in the eyes sternly, his thumb running over your lips harshly before it fell on your bottom lip. His thump parted your lips and forced it's way into your mouth, to which you welcomed in warmly. He looked at you hungrily from above as you swirled your tongue around the pad of his finger. He moaned softly at the feeling of your tongue sucking at his thumb, and it egged him on to drive into you deeper. He removed his thumb from your mouth and dragged it over your puffy lips again, burying his face into your neck as he fucked you like he needed you to breathe.

He lowered his hand between your legs and slowly started stimulating your clit yet again, making you cry out loudly in pleasure and your eyes roll back. Shane involuntarily covered your mouth with his hand and growled in your ear.

" Shh, baby. Don't want to wake the little demon in the room next to ours. " He told you firmly, suckling at your neck as he continued to roll his fingers around your swollen clit harshly. Your breath hitched at the feeling, and your back arched off the mattress, your hands finding his back and clawing at his skin eagerly. He winced at the feeling for a second but quickly gave into it. He swapped our his hand over your mouth for his lips, kissing you roughly and letting his free hand tangle into your hair and tug at your scalp.

" Shane... " You moaned his name, the familiar burning sensation that you got earlier building up in your abdomen again. He groaned, the sound of his name on your lips motivating him further.

" Hmm? You close, sugar? " He panted with a sly smirk, feeling your pussy clench around him tightly, signaling of your upcoming release. You nodded and moaned deeply, your nails digging into his skin, and your lips quivering.

" Don't worry, Superman's gonna save you. " He joked, calling back to the joke you told him before he entered you. With this, he increased his pace as harsh as he could and did his best to keep your clit occupied. You gasped and moaned, crying out to him hopelessly, your orgasm threatening to happen at any minute.

He picked up your legs and rested them over his shoulders to deepen his thrusts, groaning softly as he did. You sunk your bottom lip in between your teeth, your eyes fluttering shut tightly as he granted you exactly what you needed. He suddenly drove deep enough to hit your sweet spot, inflicting a very loud moan out of you. He intertwined his fingers with yours yet again and took your moan of pure ecstacy to heart, thrashing into that spot at a very steady pace.

" Right there? " He asked, his voice low and gravely as he panted. You nodded ferociously, your eyes opening for the time being but quickly shutting as he repeated his ministrations. The headboard of the bed noisly smacked against the wall, the bed itself creaking beneath your bodies, mingling with the sounds of your moans and gasps.

" Shane--fuck, I'm gonna c-come. " You warned him shakingly, your knuckles turning white as you heald onto his hands for support. He nodded and repeated pumped fast, deep thrusts into you. It only took a few more thrusts from him before you were completely spent, coming undone around him and leaving a milky ring around his cock that made him intoxicated. He followed suit shortly after, making sure he was balls deep into you before he filled you to the brim.

He stayed there for seconds, keeping you stuffed and panting, staring at you lovingly. He pulled a strand of hair out of your sweaty face and kissed you deeply.

" That was incredible... you.. you're gonna be such a good mom. "

[niki-phoria]

WHEREVER YOU'RE GOIN', I'M GOIN' THE SAME

pairing: geto suguru x gn!reader (no pronouns used) genre: hurt comfort word count: 851

notes: late night smoking with suguru. that's it that's the post, loosely inspired by this fanart, my take on fix it fanfic, disclaimer that i don't actually smoke lmao, title from frank ocean - moon river

“do you have a light?”

GETO SUGURU barely reacts to the sound of your voice, simply sparing you a slight glance over his shoulder as he turns. he tucks his cigarette between his lips as he reaches into his pocket before slipping a small, black lighter into your hand. “here.”

“thanks.” the small flame glows brightly in the moonlight, illuminating the stairwell in gold. you let a cool gust of wind carry the smoke away from your face when you take a breath, closing your eyes as the nicotine fills your lungs.

“long day?” suguru’s voice is soft as it cuts through the quiet of the night. stray strands of ink black hair frame his face, exposing his sharp features. his hands are soft when they brush against your own before he tucks the lighter back into his pocket. 

you hum, returning your attention back to the moon above. it’s little more than a sliver, shining brightly in the sky above. “something like that. and you?” 

smoking wasn’t an uncommon habit among sorcerers. you had found yourself bumming cigarettes off of shoko more often than you’d like to admit - enjoying the feeling of your worries slipping away with each breath you took, health consequences be damned. 

suguru nods, though you don’t see it. he sighs softly, letting another puff of smoke filter through the air. after a moment of silence, he finally murmurs, “long… month.” 

ash filters through the air, staining the concrete near your feet. you don’t reply. there’s nothing to say. 

sorcery is a monotonous grind - one that has done nothing but wear you down. even with the help of shoko’s technique, your body aches in various places. scars litter your chest and hands from years of combat. splotches of red and purple litter your skin as bruises linger for weeks on end. 

“have you ever thought about… leaving?” suguru’s voice is so quiet you nearly miss it entirely. his gaze remains trained on the ground, studying the grooves of the concrete. you take another drag in lieu of responding, letting the ash fall to the ground below. another cloud of smoke surrounds you before the wind carries it away. “sometimes,” you finally whisper. “i think about what it would be like - having a normal life. but if i wasn’t a sorcerer, i don’t know what else i would do.”

suguru hums. he takes another drag from his cigarette; this one is longer. he pauses, letting the smoke fill his lungs before he exhales a puff of air. “i think i would go home.” 

“home?” you turn to face him, silently resting your hand against his shoulder. suguru’s body sags in response as some of the tension begins to escape from his body. “to your parents?”

he nods. “i’d go to university. a real school, for once. or maybe get a job. something dumb - like working in a convenience store or a fast food place. just enough to get by and save up some money.”

you ash your cigarette, leaning back against the cool metal stairs. you can almost see the image in your head; suguru would be happier in a normal life, you suppose. “we’d live in a shitty apartment somewhere in the city and you would spend all night studying.”

he chuckles, shifting a little closer to you. you take the chance to slip your hand into his, intertwining your fingers together. “we could adopt a pet. sleep in on weekends. spend the nights curled up watching movies and dancing in our kitchen.” suguru’s voice wavers. you tighten your grip on his hand, stroking your thumb against his knuckles.

suguru moves just a little closer. his knee brushes against yours. with a shaky breath, he whispers, “would you still love me if i left?” this time there’s an unmistakable crack in his voice. he presses the tip of his cigarette against the ashtray harder than necessary before tossing it to the side. suguru leans in, resting his forehead against your own. his hands tremble before he curls them tightly into fists. “would you come with me?”

“suguru,” you whisper. you toss your own cigarette into the ashtray before reaching up, gingerly resting your hands against his face. his skin is cold; you can feel the tiny scars that litter his body beneath your fingertips. “of course i’ll go with you.”

he closes his eyes as he leans into your touch. one of suguru’s hands wraps around your wrist. his fingers press into your palm, tracing miscellaneous shapes into your skin. in the quiet of the night, you let the wind carry your secrets away. the moon shines brightly in the sky, surrounded by the faint gleam of stars littering the sky. suguru leans in, pressing a chaste kiss against the crown of your forehead. “i love you,” he murmurs. 

“i love you too,” you whisper. 

suguru doesn’t say anything else. he doesn’t need to. his head rests against your shoulder - a comforting reminder of his presence beside you. under the cover of darkness, smoke fills the stairwell one last time before it drifts away with your promise. 

taglist (open! send an ask/dm to be added): @sunoooism @vamxpi @sad-darksoul @kamote-kuneho

if you liked this fic, please consider leaving a like, comment, feedback, or rebloging !! and if you want to support me, check out my jjk masterlist <33

[raccoonbatz]

Can I tell you a secret?

[Robbie Shapiro x F!Reader]

A/N: Hi! This fic is inspired by the gif above :) I've only seen a handfull robbie fanfics and I am still completely in love with that man so I wanted to write one myself :) oh and english isn't my first language! so sorry if some words are weird lol

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Summary: Robbie finally confessing his feelings for the girl he's been in love with for the past months.

Warnings: None, just extreme fluff.

It was the big night, the cow-wow dance was tonight and Y/n was pretty excited. It was her first schoolevent at Hollywood Arts.

"Earth to Y/n?" Jade said as they walked towards the school. In the 5 months that y/n attended HA Jade became her closest friend. Sure, she can be bit mean but for some reason she took y/n under her wing and since then they kinda became inseperable.

"Sorry, I'm just kinda nervous I guess?" Y/n said as she fixed the bowties in her ponytails.

"Nervous? for what? Sinjin in a hula?" Jade snickered

"No- no, not that." Y/n chuckled. "Even tho it is something I should avoid." She said.

"For what are u nervous then?" Jade asked once again. They finally arrived at the school and everything was very well decorated.

"I- eh-" Y/n stuttered but before she could finish her sentence, someone yelled her name.

"Y/n! Y/n!" She heard a familliar voice yell. She turned around and locked eyes with the cute curly haired boy. She smiled, but her smile faded quickly as she saw that he was with an unfamiliar face. Jade saw her smile fade.

"Ur finally here!" He said as he approched her.

"Yea, uh- we had some stuff we still had to fix-" She said but he interupted her.

"This is Gabriela, my date!" He said proudly and smiled. Gabriela looked up and gave Y/n and Jade a small smile.

"Hey" She said, a bit cold.

Y/n gave a weak smile and looked back at Jade, who was just staring with an angry look on her face.

Robbie didn't really knew what was going on as he looked at the girls confused.

"Well.. Okay, Im going to get something to drink for Gabriela, u guys want something?" He asked a bit hesitant.

"Yea s-" Y/n said but was interupted by Jade.

"We can get it ourselves." She said annoyed. Robbie shrugged and took Gabriela's arm as he wandered off with her. As they walked off Beck arrived, sneaking an arm around Jade's waist.

"Hey you guys, what just happend?" He asked as he took a sip of his drink.

"Robbie happend." Jade said annoyed as she took the drink from becks hand and took a sip herself.

"It's fine Jade, Really.." Y/n said a bit sad.

"No, it's not okay." Jade said and looked at Beck.

"We got work to do." Jade said and Beck just nodded.

"No, Jade, please. It's fi-" Y/n tried to say, but before she could finish her sentence Jade and Beck were already on their way. Y/n sighed as she walked towards the drink booth and took a cup of whatever. The first big event at her new school and it was already a shitshow.

"Hey y/n/n." She heard from behind her. She looked around and saw Andre and Tori walking up to her.

"Hey guys." Y/n said a bit devistated.

"What's wrong?" Andre asked a bit worried.

"I don't really know, I'm feeling all these things that I didn't knew existed until now." Y/n said as she took a sip of her drink.

"U wanna talk about it?" Tori offered.

"Not really, sorry." Y/n said and gave a weak smile. "Thanks tho." She added.

"It's no problem." Andre said as he looked at the time.

"Shit, we have to go on in like 10 minutes-" Andre said worried and Tori looked up.

"Sorry y/n, we gotta prepare for the show. But after that, we're going to hang and make the best out of tonight. Okay?" Tori said and y/n nodded.

"Thanks guys" Y/n said a bit happier and hugged them both.

"Imma cheer u guys on the whole show, u know that right?" Y/n chuckled and they nodded.

"You better!" Andre said as they walked away. Y/n was alone, again. Jade and beck were nowhere to be found, Robbie was probably dancing with that girl of his and cat? Cat was also nowhere to be found. Y/n decided to sit on one of the picnic tables in the corner of the parkinglot, still sipping her drink. Everyone was having fun time, why couldn't she?

In the meantime Robbie was being harassed by Jade.

"What did u do, shapiro?" Jade asked angrily as she grabbed the collar of his button-up.

"I don't know! What did I do?" Robbie asked confused, looking pannicked back at Beck.

"I have no clue my friend, but u better fix it now." Beck said, trying not to intervine with what going on.

"Jade- please. Tell me what I did wrong so I can f-fix it, please?" Robbie asked and Jade loosend her grip.

"You hurted Y/n, stop playing dumb." She said annoyed as she let him go.

"How- You know I would never ever hurt her on purpose!" He said, still a bit panicked.

"Did I hurt her..?" He added, now a bit worried.

"Are you fucking blind?" She basically screamed.

"I mean, kinda? I have pretty strong gla-" Robbie said but got interupted by Jade.

"She likes you!" Jade said while facepalming. Robbie's eyes wident.

"She didn't even have to tell me and I already knew by the way she acts around you. How can you be so incredibly dumb?" Jade added and sighed.

"Where is she?" Robbie asked in a hurry.

"I don't know, probably around here somewh-" Jade couldn't even finish her sentence or Robbie was already gone. Jade looked at Beck who was still just standing there.

"Let's get something to drink-" Jade said.

"Yea, good idea." Beck added as they walked away.

Y/n was still sitting on top of the picnic table, listening to the music. Her feet were dangeling off the side.

"There you are-" She heard a familiar voice say.

"Oh, hey Robs." She said without looking up.

Robbie sat down next to her and gave her a cup with something to drink. She took the drink from his hands and looked up.

"Thanks-" She said but looked confused.

"Where is ur date?" She added and looked confused. Robbie chuckled.

"I don't know, haven't seen her all night." He said as he placed down his drink next to him.

"I have a small feeling that we gotta talk" He said as he turned his head towards her. Y/n felt her cheeks heat up a bit.

"Okay- I don't know what Jade told u-" She started and looked down again but he interupted her.

"Look, Y/n," He paused for a second. The look on his face gave away that he was struggeling to find the right words. Y/n got a bit anxious, because most of the times when people are looking for the right words it's not positive.

"Can I tell you a secret?" He finally said and smiled a bit.

'Sure" Y/n said, still looking at the ground.

Robbie got close to her ear, as if he wanted to whisper something but instead he stopped, slowly raised his hand and slowly turned her head with his finger and gave her a soft, sweet kiss. She was taken a bit back at first. Butterflies exploded in her stomach as she melted away in the kiss. Robbie then pulled away, not breaking eye contact.

"Now I still don't know your secret-" Y/n said to break the silence. They both chuckled.

"I've liked you since the moment i've met you, y/n." He said softly which grew a huge smile on Y/n face.

"Well, good to know. Because I like you too, Shapiro." Y/n said and Robbie smiled.

"That's good, because it would've been weird if I kissed you and you didn't." He said and the both laughed for a bit. Robbie took y/n hand and sat closer to her. Y/n looked up again, stealing a quick kiss from him.

"Couldn't resist, sorry." She said and they both chuckled again.

"You can steal all the kisses you want from now on, no need to worry." He said and smiled. Y/n leaned her head on his shoulder.

[koolades-world]

Fics for Gaza

hey everyone!! i'm participating with @ficsforgaza in order to help raise money for the people of palestine. for this cause, you can sponsor a wip by donating to a vetted charity! you can see a fic you'd like worked on while also donating to a great cause

this is a quick rundown on how this all works, but here is where more detailed information can be found!

after picking which wip you'd like to sponsor, selected a vetted charity (a list can be found here) and make a donation! do not send the money to me

after you've made your donation, please take a screenshot and block out all of your personal information

then, you can submit an ask with this screenshot and which wip you'd like to sponsor!! (these asks will not be published)

to sponsor a wip, it's 1$/100 words. i'll update this list as needed and if i add or remove any wips. wips can be found below the cut

current wips to sponsor!

obey me as horror

what is obey me was angled from a more horror perspective? the devildom is already scary enough, but what if the characters acted more in line for how a demon should? this fic will explore that more in depth

second person pov, reader x all demons, maybe some mc x simeon and rapheal, not sure what other warnings to include yet but will be horror-esque

current word count: 102/?

words sponsored: 0

yet, through it all, you

after the fall, asmo wasn't sure he could get back on his feet. he took baby steps, but after meeting solomon, he was much happier. he finally felt as if he was whole. but after mc enters the picture, things begin to change. asmo is bittersweet about these changes, but he won't stop solomon and mc from being happy just for his sake.

third person pov, soloasmo, angst w/ no comfort, solomon x mc, implied relationships

current word count: 574/?

words sponsored: 0

who you gonna call? ghostbusters!

the brothers are a ghost hunting crew and mc is their latest edition to the group! mammon takes mc under his wing and finds that they're a quick learner. soon they meet the others who work at the company and chaos ensues

second person pov, probably a little of every character minus luke x reader, au fanfic

current word count: 0/? (likely will be long)

words sponsored: 0

i ain't afraid of no ghost

mc, a ghost hunter, is out on a gig with other members of their crew, when they find that the ghost haunting this house is lost and looking for his family. they decide to help him and oddly feel as if they already knew him the entire time

second person pov, either a mammon or belphie x reader (first person to sponsor gets to decide since i can't haha), au fanfic

current word count: 0/?

words sponsored: 0

[kyotosworld]

I Love You More

a/n: this is inspired by "i love you more" by the softies you can listen to it while reading if you want :) also this is my first fanfic��.

summary: natasha starts drifting away after she gets into a relationship and you can't handle it.

pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader, natasha romanoff x bruce banner

word count: 1k

warnings: angst, language

You watched as natasha laughed at something bruce said while they sat close together on the couch. It was nice to see her so happy with someone for once, but a part of you felt bitter that that someone wasn’t you. 

It was team movie night, and even though you were meant to be having fun, you felt trashy having to see nat sit so close to bruce. You want to be the one cuddling up next to her and keeping her warm, but that’s not happening.

It’s been some time since just you and natasha have hung out. You've been seeing her less and less ever since she started dating Bruce. You felt like you had to compete for her time, but it wasn’t much of a competition seeing as, more often than not, bruce won. 

You knew there was no chance that nat saw you the way you saw her, so you never risked saying anything that might make it obvious how much you loved her. Or how much you despise the fact that Bruce can openly express his feelings for her while you can't. So instead, you love her quietly. 

You’re brought out of your thoughts when she smiles at you, and you try your best not to show how much it affects you before you smile back.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You’re excited. You have plans to go to your and nat’s favourite cafe, which you've been wanting to go to for so long. You and her used to go all the time before she started dating bruce, and you were glad to be resuming the tradition. She promised to take you, and you've been looking forward to some time with her. 

You are ready long before you have to be and decide to wait for her in the kitchen—where you guys chose to meet up. You start to get uneasy as it reaches the time when nat was meant to be here but isn't. You decide to wait longer, hoping she’ll be here soon. 

She finally walks into the kitchen, and you’re ecstatic to see her. Nat looks over at you, notices you're dressed—more than usual—looks down at herself in pyjamas, then looks back up at you with a guilty expression. Your heart breaks as you realize she forgot. 

“Oh.. it totally slipped my mind.” Nat slaps her palm on her forehead. "I'm sorry; I've been so preoccupied with Bruce, and...I can't believe I forgot; I really wanted to go. Me and bruce were out late last night, and I'm exhausted right now..”

“Oh no. It's fine,” you say, pushing down the hurt. “I’m kinda tired anyway.” You lie. 

She at least has the decency to look like she feels bad. “Are you sure, love?” 

You hated when she called you that. You hated how much more it made you love her. 

“Yeah yeah, we’ll just go another time.” You tiredly smiled, not at all believing what you were saying. 

“Of course,” she smiled. And you hated that that was all it took for you to forgive her. Regardless, it stung that something that meant so much to you didn't even cross her mind. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Natasha looked so beautiful as she tended the bar. It was another one of tony's parties, and nat was bartending. You stood on the side as you watched her, actively trying to ignore bruce’s presence. 

You hated him. However, you knew your anger wasn’t really justified. Bruce didn’t actually do anything wrong; he only did what you’ve wanted to do for so long—be with natasha.

As much as you hated their relationship, you did notice how much happier natasha seemed. And seeing her like that only made you love her more.  

You didn’t feel like you were worthy of being with her, she’s everything good, and you felt like the complete opposite. You hoped you could be enough for her, but you also knew it was too late for that.

If natasha being happy meant forgetting about you, you were okay with it. All you could do was hope that bruce loved her at least half as much as you did.

Every now and then, when you and Nat hung out it made you happy. Up until she’d mention bruce, which made you feel horrible.

There were times when you’d prefer she go to him because it seemed like that's all she wanted anymore. There was nothing keeping her with you anyway. But you would take all the time you could get with her, even if she only talked of him.  

She was spending more and more time with bruce, meaning you saw her less, and you missed her. It almost felt like she was ignoring you. You were sick of feeling this way, so jealous, when she didn't even give you a second glance. 

You even tried to convince yourself that you didn't have feelings for nat. You tried dating to distract yourself, but nothing ever worked. You were starting to accept that you were losing nat and that you’d never have her the way you wanted to. Maybe you were meant to end up alone, maybe you‘d rather. 

Knowing that you would feel much better if you weren't reminded of what you can't have, you decide to leave the party. When you finally get out, you somehow hear your name over the loud music and turn to see nat.

“You’re leaving already?” She asks, somewhat out of breath.

“Yeah, I'm kinda sick of all of Tony's parties.” You try to laugh, and she chuckles. 

“Mm..are you sure? We haven’t even danced yet.” She teases. 

A part of you considers going back in with her until she speaks again, “Look, I know I've been spending so much time with bruce, but you’ve been nothing but understanding. Thank you.” She says sweetly.

You gulped before replying, “of course.” Never mind, you’d rather not go back in. 

“Ok, well, if you’re sure about not coming back in, I’ll see you later, love.” Nat squeezes your hands before letting go and walking back inside. 

It hurt. It hurt to hear her say that. And it hurt to watch her leave, to be with him, and not you.

[thebibliosphere]

Did you have any thoughts on the prophecy in the last few minutes of blood origin? The editing seemed to imply that Jaskier had something to do with it which has caused some grumbling from people who want more book accuracy.

The people who want more book accuracy have been grumbling about things deviating from the books since the games came out :p

Honestly, everyone would be a lot happier if they just realized we're traversing down parallel timelines that look similar but have their own stories to tell. We're essentially watching Wither fanfic with a Netflix budget. Would that more fandoms have such coinage.

Anyway, yeah, I do have some thoughts about it.

Spoilers under the cut!

So just to recap the last few lines of the prophecy, "the Lark's seed shall carry forth the first note of a song that ends all times, and one of her blood shall sing the last."

You get the general gist that Lark/Eile's bloodline is being referenced, and Jaskier gets to break the fourth wall a bit by quite obliviously going, "wait, what, who?"

The elven woman then commands him to "sing the song of the seven, Sandpiper, so the oppressed may find hope and strength and make ready for the great change to come," ensuring that Jaskier's voice is tied to how things end no matter what.

But let's jump back a bit and break things down some more.

Focusing on "the first note that ends all times," I believe that's meant to be a reference to Ciri's power. We've seen what happens when she screams; imagine what some training and time with Yennefer will achieve. Girl is going to end the universe as we know it. Again.

But wait, who is the "and one of her blood shall sing the last?"

Why, it's our dear bard, of course!

This implies that Jaskier is related to Ciri in some way, which I don't find all that implausible, no matter how much some people are grumbling about it. He's a Viscount, after all. And royal and noble bloodlines are so thickly interwoven in this universe that all their family trees look like wreaths if you squint. Sometimes you don't even need to squint. (and that is book accurate.) It's entirely plausible that Jaskier and Ciri are thirteenth cousins twice removed on their divorced great aunt's side. Or somebody had an affair. That's just as likely.

If anyone is still skeptical about this theory, Jaskier's nickname, Sandpiper, is also a type of bird, tying him back to Lark again. Lark is the bird that sang at the start of the world as we know it; the Sandpiper will sing as it ends.

It's quite heavy-handed, and I'll be surprised if the show doesn't run full tilt with it. It'd also let them handwave away why they forgot to age up Jaskier in season one. Surprise, elf blood!

Now, I know why people are mad about it because the person in the book who is telling the end of the story is meant to be Ciri.

But this is not the book series. This is the Witcher Netflix series, and they're giving the narrative burden to Jaskier, which IMO makes more sense given his tendency to break the fourth wall and that it's his voice we hear at the end of every season finale, singing through the end credits.

He is quite literally going to be the last song we hear as the series ends. It makes narrative sense to pass the burden of retelling the story on to him.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my Witcher TedTalk.

I'm going to be so mad if the showrunners don't do any of this and pull some complete batshit fuckery out of their arses as a twist.

[alienatedtsuki]

Dom!Naruto/Sub!Sasuke [Kinktober 2023 Part I]

It's Kinktober, baby! I am not creating anything but recommendations, so let's go. I want to start with one of my favourite tropes in the smut for this pairing, this being - Master/Pet | Dom!Naruto/Sub!Sasuke. 

Cumslut by pedosoka Naruto and Sasuke didn't show up for training, and Sakura and Ino go see if everything is okay with their precious Sasuke-kun. Or, Sakura, Ino, and Sai walk in on Sasuke, getting his back blown out by Naruto and his shadow clones. - You read this summary right. There is all I love: Sakura bashing, the use of shadow clones(I probably should add it to my "Oh, how useful are these shadow clones" post), and the Master/pet dymanic.  NaruSasu | Master Naruto | pet Sasuke | Sakura bashing | accidental voyeurism | orgy | Naruto uses Shadow Clones | Saying "I love you" is hot | Canon AU (3,237)

Sasuke and his sexual dream Naruto by Skyheaven @0skyheaven0 This is a fantastic trilogy of relationship development between our boys, where Naruto is top and Sasuke is bottom. They investigate the darker side of Naruto in the last fic with full-blown Dom!Naruto and Sub!Sasuke. They are deeply in love with each other, so Porn With Feelings. 

 Take my virginity away by Skyheaven @0skyheaven0 Growing up in a homophobic household, Sasuke never got to experience any romantic or sexual connection. Now that he's an adult, he's afraid no one would want a complete virgin like him. Through an app he finally meet someone who sparks his interest and agrees to rid Sasuke of his cursed virginity to give him the courage to start his real life, his sex life. Shock hits him though when on the other side of the door stands no one other than his old classmate and rival Naruto. - Sasuke is 26 years old, gay and virgin. He wants to get rid of his virginity, and fate gives him Naruto to be his first. As I mentioned earlier, this is NaruSasu only. There are mentions of the use of toys. Basically, this fic is quality first-time fanfic. (Consent is hot as hell.) NaruSasu | First time | light Dom/Sub | Cum eating | light Spanking | Fluff and Smut | Porn With Feelings | Modern AU (15,730)

Steal all that I am by Skyheaven @0skyheaven0 Three times that Naruto stole Sasuke's control over his own body, turning him into a horny, submissive, dirty mouth and three times Naruto stole Sasuke's heart, making him stronger, weaker and a whole lot happier. - It's a fantastic continuation of the first fic with a deep dive into their relationship with amazing smut (they delve deeper into their kinks). NaruSasu | moderate Dom/Sub | Cum eating | Spanking | Rimming | Dildos | Fluff and Smut | Porn With Feelings | Modern AU (12,953)

 Tonight I'm yours by Skyheaven @0skyheaven0 Sasuke is devastated from an explosive meet with his homophobic parents. Luckily, his boyfriend Naruto shows him his bag of toys to improve the mood. - Full-blown Dom!Naruto/Sub!Sasuke play, healthy BDSM relationship.  Naruto is so passionate in this role, and Sasuke submits so beautifully for details read the tags.  (I love the part where Sasuke is coming out, and this isn't a fairy tale but a harsh reality and how Naruto helps Sasuke to process his feelings. I will focus on these smut rec posts, mostly on smut reviews. I am sorry if I don't describe the plot that much.) NaruSasu | Dom/Sub | Rough Sex | Bondage | Face-Fucking | Nipple Play | Rimming | Sex Toys | Dildos | Size Kink | Spanking | Creampie | Fisting | Fluff and Smut | Porn With Feelings | Modern AU (15,202)

Enough by IvvyMoon (blue_jack) What lengths will Naruto go to in order to give Sasuke what he needs? - This author is a master, no pun intended, in writing Sub/Dom smut. This is just exceptional. There are so many complicated feelings in this session, but how full of passion this is... It's just a must-read for this smut section. Also, check out the Master/pet NOT finished fic Sasuke, My Pet. NaruSasu | Dom/Sub | public Blow Jobs | Sex Toys | Impact Play | Nipple Play | Spanking | Blindfolds | Porn With Feelings | Angst | Modern AU (11,345)

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

[thesongistheriver]

Out of Yourself Into a Delirious Place

Just about a year ago, I finally gave in to the plot bunnies brain worms impulse to write a BBC Merlin fanfic. Don't get me wrong; I've been in fandom for ages, and have beta-read for friends even in fandoms I'm not in, but it took me a long time to screw up the courage to actually write. Today, I posted the last chapter of the (current) last fic in this series. I have plans for a more-or-less stand-alone short piece that would serve as en epilogue eventually, but it's not imminent, and the series can be read as complete without it. Summary:

Merlin and Arthur met as conservatory students -- Merlin studying cello, and Arthur drama. They went from snarky roommates to inseparable friends, despite their differences, and Merlin started to wonder why being with Arthur made him feel so different than with all his other friends. Unfortunately, when Arthur left for Hollywood, and Merlin's own career took off, they slowly lost touch. Now, Merlin is a world-famous virtuoso and Arthur comes back to London with some surprising news ... and a lot of feelings. Domestic schmoop, fluff, humor, snark-as-a-love-language, smut, and more ensue, and pretty much the whole gang shows up. Title from famous cellist Jacqueline du Pré: "Playing lifts you out of yourself into a delirious place."

I love these idiots in every universe, in every incarnation, and this has been the most fun to work on, especially with dropping in Easter eggs relating to the actors, the behind-the-scenes videos, their other projects, and more. What started as a one-shot became a behemoth and I couldn't be happier about it.

[bigskydreaming]

So, been awhile! Apologies for that - took a step back from most social media sites for a few months because the accumulated stresses and everpresent urgency to most things I've been dealing with for the past five plus years finally caught up with me and I kinda just....crashed, and needed some time to get my head on straight. Or whatever the non-obvious-pun version of that might be for a Known Bisexual. Everything was getting to be too constantly 'stop and go' for me, if that makes sense.....like I'd TRY to be more present on here, TRY to work on things like my patreon and fic and meta and stuff like that because I've really wanted to get back to creating actual stuff that people enjoy instead of being like My Issues: The Latest Installment and the like, but then something else would crop up and kill my momentum before it even really got going and I'd have to duck away yet again, and rinse and repeat.

HENCE! I took a more dedicated, extended leave to try and get into a headspace and build a buffer that better lends itself to me getting back to the kinds of posting/writing conditions I've thrived under in the past. It took longer than I thought, but I've never been good at accurately estimating things lol. I've still been on twitter somewhat sporadically, since a huge part of why I hate that site is its format makes it all but impossible to really get to ranting at length...y'know, as I do, my tried and true time-suck method of procrastinating...and with everything going on in the world these days I didn't want to disconnect entirely even though I did need time to work through some shit. BUT I DIGRESS.

Point is, felt like I needed something more substantial than the optimistic-but-lacking-in-actual-energy-and-planning measures I've attempted in the past couple years in order to get on top of things and achieve a measure of consistency and stability again. Less shooting for the moon because I just WANT to be back to my older, happier/more content patterns, more....putting some actual time and thought into how I can realistically make that happen instead of just trying to will it into existence through sheer stubbornness. Because obviously, THAT always works.

ANYWAY. It'll still be a couple days before I get back to regular posting/reblogging patterns or much of any of that at all.....don't be confused if you see some blink and you miss them temporary posts from me over the next day or two. I'm testing out the formatting and layout of a bunch of posts and graphics made for my patreon and original fiction stuff, since the preview post function doesn't always work with read mores in a post and they're all gonna need that lol. If anyone's up for it, I am finalizing the price/reward tiers of my patreon and could use some thoughts on the different levels - I think I have them mostly figured out but wouldn't mind some additional perspectives on how I broke things down and if I'm missing some alternatives. Just message me directly if you'd like to weigh in or lend me your thoughts!

I've never wanted my tumblr to be all about fic or just original content or anything like that, so the patreon's meant to kinda keep all that separate beyond just generalized update announcements on here. The blog will remain just a regular multi-purpose smorgasboard of my reblogs and thoughts on other posts and meta about my various fandoms and all that jazz. The patreon discord will have spaces having to do with my various fanfics, but they'll never be exclusive to it in any way, and every fic update I make will still be on my blog same as always. I've been building masterlists of all my Dick Grayson meta and all my Teen Wolf meta, as well as headcanons and writing snippets/scenes that never got posted elsewhere because I didn't consider them full fics, and I'm starting a series of posts that lean directly into my tendencies to be an Overly Opinionated Asshole who - historically speaking - has never been, uh, shy, shall we say, about Having Thoughts about various fandom patterns or trends.

So....look out for the upcoming "Kalen Vs Fandoms" post series. What? It sounded catchy to me. First up:

"Fandoms' tendency to pick one character per fandom to have every other character introduce as the dumbest person they've ever met, but no its okay, they're actually really fond of them and universally defaulting to a judgmental or patronizing shot at their intelligence every single time they're the topic of conversation among other characters just naturally happens to be part of every single other character's love language - is this perhaps NOT as endearing or affectionate as fandoms tend to treat it as?" Aka "How many people can actually say they'd be comfortable with the idea of every single person in their family or friend group leading with "I genuinely think they're stupid but I love them anyway" each time they talk about them to someone else, and if you don't think that's a normal conversation starter for people to have about a loved one, why do so many fandoms attempt to treat it as such?"

.....the length of post title should not be taken as an indicator of how long each post is. If people want to draw their own conclusions about post length based solely on the fact that they're, well, by me.....I mean. That's totally your prerogative. Nothing I can do about that!

Post topics will run the gamut, if for no other reason than gamut is an amazing word that doesn't get used enough and I wanted to use it. From "Its totally valid to project onto characters and use fic as a way to work through various issues via that projection but how much does this have to do with how defensively people react to the slighest criticism of character choices in their fics as though personally attacked - discuss" to "Criticizing and condemning the writers of source material for specific things - to rave reviews from followers - only to then do the exact same specific things in your own fics - to rave reviews from followers - while claiming that the mere fact of being a fan not getting paid for writing those specific things somehow makes them less worthy of criticism.....are we all seeing the problem here."

There's a slight chance those titles are perhaps....somewhat unnecessarily asshole-coded, but like, in a whimsical way! I think. Whatever. I'm sure it'll be fine!

Will either rhyme OR reason be involved in the order of post topics? No. Not even a little bit. Next question.

Aside from "Kalen vs Fandoms" I've been putting a lot of thought into what other topics or content I can expound upon at length, to the possible interest of people. I'm good at writing and editing and analyzing narratives. Not claiming to be the best, just not trying to fish for compliments or anything. I think my analysis of narrative and character choices has generally been of interest in most fandoms I've been in, but when I'm IN a fandom, I do personally invest in favorite characters and stories that inevitably put me in opposition to takes from fans of other characters and stories within that fandom, and when that happens, the Horseman of Discourse inevitably follows and I....do the discourse. Look, I am who I am. I see the discourse, I engage with the discourse. Unless I don't care about the topic of discourse, in which case I don't, because that discourse doesn't matter. Obviously.

SO! In the interest of posting about narrative analysis and breakdowns of writing choices, character arcs and the like but WITHOUT engaging in The Discourse, I'll be making an easy-to-find post of fandoms or source material whose characters and narratives I'm familiar enough with TO have opinions or analysises of, but for whatever reason, the fandom has never clicked for me and I've never actually felt a desire to be part of it. Thus I'm not likely to be invested or compelled enough to follow up on anyone disagreeing with my personal thoughts or analysis or various character arcs or narratives, because its literally just like, my opinion man, presented for no other purpose than to potentially be of interest to anyone who might be interested in it. No actual follow up needed on my part because I'm not particularly chuffed if people have different takes, they're totally valid, mine don't exist for the purpose of being defended there, they just exist because Opinions, I Had Them, Here Look. Or Don't. Its Totally Whatever.

Because I don't feel as strongly about these pieces of media as I do fandoms I'm personally invested in, it is trickier to come up with a comprehensive list of ones I can weigh in on. So please feel free to hit up my inbox with any fandoms, narrative or character arcs you're curious about my take on, and I'll let you know if they're fandoms I consider myself a participant in, and thus not really right for this series, or if they're something I'm just not knowledgeable about.....but if they're not an actual fandom of mine and I AM familiar enough with them to have an analytical take or response, I'll add them to the masterlist/post as a potential topic.

This series will be called and tagged "Kalen Vs Writing Choices" (That I Personally Don't Like Or Think Could Be Better). The parenthetical part is there solely to be a disclaimer clarifying that my ego is not so great that I think that My Subjective Take on the writing choices made or not made is the only one that matters. I mean, I don't intend to include the disclaimer as part of the actual tag and will mostly leave it as y'know, like, something IMPLIED, but the disclaimer still exists and thus counts. That's totally how that works.

And that's how I've chosen to awkwardly segue into the final intended-of-three post series.....Dramatically Abrupt Tonal Shift Ahoy!

This next part will get long, but I would truly appreciate it if you gave it a read despite its length and even if - especially if - the next topic isn't one you typically look for my take on, or even avoid my take on, because I don't think I'm likely to ever express my thoughts on this matter any more genuinely or directly than this. Like I'm not trying to guilt anyone or anything like that, its more I'm just trying to say if you ever read ANY single post of mine when it comes to the next topic or pick a post to base your decision on whether or not TO wade into something I have to say on this subject, I would appreciate it if you made that this next part here, as I think it best conveys where I'm coming from when it comes to most any post I make along these lines.

So. The thing is....most people who've followed me long know that in the past I've frequently been extremely vocal on topics of rape, incest and abuse, specifically through the lens of being a male survivor. These absolutely are personal for me. This has led to me having a lot of Overly Opinionated Takes on these topics and how they're talked about, depicted and treated within fandom conversations, fics, and social media spheres and conversations at large. I've also pretty obviously not posted on these topics nearly as much in recent years as I once did - but not because I feel any less strongly about them.

And that's one hundred percent because it's frustrating as hell to see a very good portion of the posts I make about any OTHER topic in my usual fandoms go on to accumulate hundreds of notes....while NONE of my posts on these topics ever break out of my direct circle of mutuals. I don't say it to be egotistical - look how many notes I get on stuff - I say it because its literally objectively factual, and the disparity is dramatic, and the disparity is a PROBLEM. Especially given how much the topics of male rape and abuse - in SPECIFIC - tend to be, within most of my past fandoms.

This disparity has a very clear reason for existing too: people have never been shy about citing that they refrain from reblogging or referencing my posts on these topics because they feel like I act like I'm the only opinion that matters on them, the sole authority to be listened to here, that I use my status as a male rape survivor as a cudgel, to shut down opposing takes or points of view.

Which I would totally be fine with or understand if not for the fact that I've always gone out of my way to express that I don't want or expect my opinions on these matters to be taken as anything other than my personal opinions born of my personal experiences, which I cite because they're relevant. I don't think that survivors should have to disclose their status or personal history or details in order to have their opinion heard on these topics, but I deeply resent how often survivors making the choice TO disclose their personal history or relationship with these topics in order to directly unpack how that informs our perspective....is weaponized AGAINST us, in order to shut down and discredit OUR takes even while literally accusing us of only disclosing in order to do the exact same thing to others.

Something that I've posted about a LOT in the hopes of getting it spread throughout fandoms that regularly talk about male rape is for literal decades I've seen people harp on about how men can be raped too, believe male survivors, don't believe the myth that men can't be raped, etc. Which like, I appreciate the sentiment, but the thing I've tried to express for years is that in my personal experience, and those of a lot of other male survivors I've talked to - this is not really the biggest or even ONE of the biggest issues most male survivors face.

And the fact that for all that there are many survivors in fandom who have made the difficult choice to be open about their traumas and recoveries - which I ALWAYS respect, as that is never easy for any of us - a huge part of why I've always made a point to disclose my own history as a male survivor is because there just flat out aren't a lot of perspectives from MALE survivors in specific, being circulated in pretty much any of the fandom spaces I've ever been in over the past twenty years. I don't even slightly think I'm any more of an expert or authority on topics of rape or abuse - beyond how they pertain to my own personal experiences - than any other survivor. But as long as the topic of MALE rape and abuse in specific, how men are affected by these things, how society reacts to us and treats us in the aftermath....as long as these are the topics explicitly being discussed.....I do think my perspective as a male survivor is pretty fucking relevant, and admittedly, I tend to get pretty heated about pushing BACK against attempts to invalidate it or shout it down as though I somehow have LESS of a stake in or right to be heard in these particular conversations. And I get how this has at times come across as attempting to dominate a given conversation.

But like.....I'm also going to point back up to the part where I said earlier....I'm an Overly Opinionated Asshole. I say it somewhat deprecatingly, for the lulz, but also not. I'm very passionate about conversations and topics I feel strongly about and I don't make apologies for it. And for the most part....this has NEVER stopped people from reblogging or liking posts I make about pretty much any other topic....despite me not really coming across that differently in most of them, compared to how I come across in most of my past posts on topics of rape and abuse.

See....I'm in complete agreement with everyone who emphasizes that rape isn't a gendered issue. That it can and does happen to individuals of any gender or identity. But the reason why I've always found the focus on 'remember that men can be raped too' more performative than helpful is because for almost twenty years, I've been posting on these topics in various fandom spaces and trying to express that in my personal experience, something that REALLY deserves to be talked about more is the fact that rape is not gendered. But rape CULTURE very much IS.

Like it or not, we live in a very gendered society still. While yes, men can be raped too.....for a number of reasons - most of them born of sexism and misogyny in specific - the conditions, catalysts and reasons for men being raped are NOT interchangeable with those at work in instances of women being raped, as an example. Because the way society treats men and women in pretty much EVERY situation is different. Similarly, the way society REACTS to men and women disclosing they've been raped is different. And so on and so on.

So 'remember that men can be raped too' has some basis in societal claims that men can't be raped or that rape IS a gendered issue....but not as much as I think most people tend to believe. And twenty years after I first started searching out perspectives of other male survivors in online fandom spaces, beyond just real world physical support groups, I'm STILL hearing 'remember that men can be raped too' dominating all conversations about male survivors just as regularly and repetitiously as it was twenty years ago....as though the world has not changed at all, and the needle on this particular facet of male survivorhood hasn't changed an inch in the past two decades when no, actually, it very much has.

The reason why I feel so strongly about offering up my perspective as a male survivor in a relative absence of seeing other male survivors' perspectives circulated is I honestly believe the reason this is so consistently upheld as the biggest problem facing male survivors is its a carry-over from women attempting to be heard and believed when disclosing....which makes sense and is completely understandable....as long as there's a complete absence of male survivors offering up any perspective that's to the contrary.

But the fact that we live in a gendered society where rape culture, not rape itself, still very much IS gendered due to being a product of....living in a gendered society....means that the differences in how society treats and reacts to men and women affects every aspect of how society treats and reacts to men and women survivors. And that starts with disclosure itself. In my personal experience - and fully acknowledging that I don't speak for any other male survivor in this moment, and I absolutely do believe there are those who have experiences to the contrary, and that matters too - MY experience, which also matters, is that not once in the twenty years since I've started disclosing about my own rape, or the csa I experienced as a child - have I actually had an issue being believed.

With full acknowledgment of how unfair it is, how gross, the reality of living in a sexist, patriarchal society where male privilege very much exists, is that while men can be raped too, this traumatic thing that happened to us does not in any way actually invalidate or negate our male privilege. It doesn't turn it off for the duration of our experience or any time its relevant to our experiences going forward. We carry that privilege with us through our recoveries and the rest of our lives just as much as we did before it, because its an inalienable result of being in a society that allocates privilege solely on the basis of being born a man who identifies and presents as a cis man (with respect to trans individuals having another axis of experience that very much differentiates all matters pertaining to rape culture, in comparison to cis men, just as much as in the case of cis women, albeit in different ways).

And the gross unfortunate reality of our society is that it ALWAYS prioritizes believing men over women, in all matters......especially cis white men like myself.

So the simple fact is....even the act of disclosure - and the likelihood of being believed when voluntarily choosing to share the information that we've been raped - means that a cis white man like myself does not receive the same reaction as most women receive when attempting to share that same information. Society preconditions a lot of people to be more receptive to taking cis white men at their word, comparative to affording anyone else that basic respect.

Getting people to believe me when I say I was raped has never been the issue for me that other individuals face.

But that doesn't mean that my disclosure doesn't result in issues for me.

Because while being raped never invalidated or negated any of my cis white male privilege, neither did having cis white male privilege negate the possibility of me being raped - OR the fact that society ALSO preconditions people to be really fucking shitty about survivors.

(Hell, ANY kind of living victim....with this also being very relevant to abuse survivors, survivors of physical assault, etc. Much like people can be overflowing with empathy for unborn children who can't offer up any take to the contrary to whatever people want to say "in defense or support of unborn children," only to turn around and cease caring about most of those babies the second they're born, people tend to be just as overflowing with empathy for deceased victims of abuse, rape, assault and the like....who, y'know, also can't offer up any take to the contrary of whatever they say or claim about what they WOULD want, what they DO deserve, etc. Present those same people with a living child or a living victim who can and DOES have an opinion that doesn't match what those people feel it SHOULD be? Watch attitudes shift VERY quickly, as allllll that empathy hurriedly flushes down the drain as though it was never there).

But the point is, my cis white male privilege is always here regardless. But that doesn't mean rape culture isn't shitty enough that it can't find a way to circumvent even that in pursuit of discrediting/invalidating/ignoring survivors, just like that privilege can be circumvented in order to create the situation where a man is raped in the first place.

Its just....the gendered nature of rape culture means HOW those attempts to discredit/invalidate/ignore male survivors manifests.....doesn't look the same as when it leads to just outright disbelieving other survivors when they attempt to disclose.

And that is how I can be listened to and reblogged on most any other topic, no matter HOW I go about presenting myself in those posts or conversations - ironically in no small part BECAUSE of my cis white male privilege - while only getting crickets when I post on these topics, BECAUSE people only choose THOSE posts to make my presentation or level of intensity a dealbreaker, and thus their very reason for ignoring anything I have to say there. Not because they don't believe me, but because the WAY I say it is too aggressive, too biased, too emotional, too intense....its an attack on their autonomy, an attempt to override whatever they previously thought or believed about the subject and just force them to adhere to my take.

Because the thing about living in a sexist, patriarchal society is.....that IS a thing that cis white men often do, and a lot of society is structured to make it easier for us to achieve this in most instances, frankly. This just happens to be a rare exception, because for a lot of reasons that would make this post even longer - and that again, I've often posted about before - upholding and reinforcing rape culture on a society wide level supersedes the usual focus on accommodating INDIVIDUAL cis white men in having their opinions heard and circulated.

I'm trying to be as frank as possible here about the intersection of privilege and experiences of being a male survivor because I don't believe its to anyone's benefit to be disingenuous about it, and I do think that it doesn't actually supplant the fact that male survivors do have just as much right - and NEED - to be heard and listened to about our experiences with rape and perspective there, and have those ACKNOWLEDGED, as anyone else.

Its just....the existence of privilege and how that differentiates most experiences in a gendered society matters, and thus.....it needs to be part of the conversation rather than just treating all responses to rape and survivors as agendered, just because rape itself can and does happen to people of all genders.

There's actually a fair amount to get into when it comes to differences in a lot of mens' disclosures vs womens' in my experience, but just as an extension of what I'm talking about here, one of the specific elements in my experience is that men often don't have a problem being believed about having been raped or abused.....but one of the predominant responses is society is heavily preconditioned to view male rape and abuse survivors as almost inevitably feeling they need to exert a similar power over someone else in order to claim back their own feelings of pride and safety in their masculinity. Effectively.....most every male rape or abuse survivor I've ever talked with at length shares a similar experience of being believed when they disclose about being a survivor....but noting a clear and direct shift in how whomever they disclosed to interacts with them....with EVERY expression of anger or outrage - particularly in the matter of their rape or abuse - being viewed as evidence of us being ticking time bombs who are inevitably primed to explode and take out what happened to us on someone else.

There's being cautious around cis white men, for example, because we're cis white men, which I totally get and am not expressing an opinion on. I'm just saying even with that acknowledged, there is a SHIFT in how people interact with me after I've disclosed to them personally, in how they....scrutinize me, for lack of a better way of putting it, in very noticeable ways and areas. Like its consistent. And think about how its not totally true that media doesn't portray men as being capable of being raped or abused, typically. Think about how often you've seen procedurals where the backstory of the rapist or abuser of the week is specifically THAT they were a rape or abuse survivor themselves, usually in childhood. Its NOT that society doesn't believe or accept that men can be raped too. Its that society is primed to default to viewing the very act of men being raped as an indicator of the shift from them being a man to being a man who is likely to become a predator themselves.

Rape appears all the time in regards to male survivors in media. Its just it usually just appears in the context of men who arent presented AS survivors, but rather as predators or aggressors themselves, and their past victimization treated as a catalyst rather than a trauma. This is not to excuse any such character or depiction of course, its simply to emphasize that the very angle from which male survivorhood is approached in most contexts is different from that of other survivors. Just like the angle from which their survivorhood is approached is different from that of male survivors. And thus the issue most men have with disclosing in my experience is NOT that we're afraid we won't be believed....its that we're afraid once we disclose, we'll be viewed as inherently more dangerous because our victimization primes us to be that much more likely to inflict ourselves on others in some attempt to reclaim our masculinity.

And its categorically NOT about any group of survivors having it better or worse than others, which is why I LOATHE people saying variations of 'you wouldn't say that about this if it happened to a woman' because anyone attempting to pit male survivors against other survivors en masse is NOT doing so for my benefit or with my endorsement. The point is just that each way society and rape culture interacts with a different group of survivors presents different problems and issues that need addressing, and aren't interchangeable.

There is a REASON why the subject of Dick Grayson's anger - usually in the context of things that have happened to him - is so important to me, specifically in terms of ensuring that its treated as something he's allowed to have....rather than an indicator that he's going to messily explode his life in a way that impacts everyone around him negatively.

Now.....if you've never considered that aspect of rape vs rape culture and how it can differently affect and shape the experiences and recovery of cis male survivors versus trans male survivors and nonbinary survivors and survivors who identify as women.....I ask that you consider what else my perspective might be able to add to actually productive, meaningful conversations about rape, rape culture and survivorhood, that you never would have thought TO think about before, without male survivors bringing it up based on it having played a role in personal experiences.

And then I just ask that you please think about the implications of someone known for being a vocal presence in certain fandoms, with a fairly sizable number of posts widely circulating throughout them......never having posts about male rape and survivorhood circulated to any noticeable degree, despite writing DOZENS of them, in all kinds of different moods, ways and intensity levels.....and all of them while active in fandoms where male rape is regularly discussed or focused on due to certain characters or storylines......and ask yourselves if it maybe seems a little off for the disparity to be THAT large. Again: I have written DOZENS of posts on this topic. All with less than twenty notes. I'll be composing a masterlist of them in the near future as well, but for now I'm just saying. Please just think about that.

While I'm going to make an effort to be more deliberate in how I approach this topic in posts going forward, tonally and in terms of word choice, I do have a right to be just as passionate about it as any other topic, and it is FUCKED UP to think that my personal experiences here should be pointed to as the very REASON I should need to be LESS passionate than I am anywhere else, in order to be heard or listened to. Still. I am not actually trying to override anyone else's viewpoint, present myself as some kind of ultimate authority, or shut down other survivors in any way....I'm just trying to uphold the relevancy and importance of adding my own perspective to the conversation.

I don't want to be the only voice listened to here. But as long as my voice is relevant, and I don't see or hear a lot of other voices speaking from a similar standpoint, I would like to be a RESOURCE on topics of male survivorhood, rape and recovery, from that particular standpoint. And even if and when other male survivors might perchance add their own perspectives with experiences and takes contrary to mine....I welcome that! Because mine is not the only one, cis white male survivors are no more a monolith than anyone else, and none of that will in any way actually invalidate my own perspective or experiences or render them no longer relevant at all.

Being a resource on a topic that has always been everpresent in most fandoms I've gravitated to - which has often been a reason FOR me gravitating to those fandoms in specific.....that has always been my ONLY goal with these kinds of posts. NOT an authority.

So, having my posts - which for all my willingness to write them, has never been easy for me and probably never will - reframed in such a negative way, dismissed and even weaponized against me - has over the years demoralized me and made it harder to find the energy TO tackle these topics, as much as I'd like to. But I do feel that I've found a second wind when it comes to this and think I'm ready to wade back into being Overly Opinionated on these topics as well.

So that's the third of the three post series I'll be starting, "Kalen vs Topics of Rape, Rape Culture and Survivorhood As Perceived Through A Singular Personalized Cis White Male Lens, Presented By (and With) My Middle Finger At Any Attempts to Subvert Or Undermine My Thoughts On Them By Reframing Them As Me Trying To Gatekeep Male Survivorhood No Matter How Many Times I Use The Words IN MY EXPERIENCE or IN MY OPINION, Which I Do A Lot, Because This Has Been Happening For A Very Long Time, And I Am Tired, But Still Very Opinionated, And Still Very Here, So Bite Me I Guess."

.....I'm still workshopping that one's title. Its a process.

ANYWAY. At the moment, I'm aiming to make one post of each once a month, and if I do more than that great, but not trying to pressure myself to do any more than that at the moment in the interests of Realism. We'll play it by ear. If I have more free time or energy than expected, maybe I'll do more. Its not like I have a shortage of Very Opinionated Opinions, after all. You've met me.

BUT I DIGRESS.

So in the interest of not making this long ass post any fucking longer, not that anyone really expected otherwise from my first post back in months, like could I REALLY even claim to ACTUALLY be back if all I had to show for it was some weak little lackluster drabble that wasn't even 3,000 words? Methinks the fuck not -

Well, have an abrupt and anticlimactic finish that comes out of nowhere despite giving myself literally 4,900 words to build to something appropriately profound or meaningful or whatthefuckever. Y'know. Your standard Kalen Classic. The abrupt and anticlimactic wrap up I mean, not the profound and deeply meaningful one. Eh. You get it.

Did ya miss me? I missed you!

PS - I was Informed that we are almost to the end of Tommy T's Tenure, is it almost safe to come back to Nightwing comics? Does anyone know when his last issue is? Have we planned the party yet? Who's on balloons, we definitely need balloons.

[ninjadeathblade]

Like the Sun and the Moon (Lego Monkie Kid fanfic)

Summary: Macaque helps MK train a little. Aside from that this is Shadowpeach angst.

Word count: 2,641

Warnings: Mentions of blood, reference to murder, Wukong and Macaque have a complicated past, swearing

Author's notes: Yes, I do briefly reference Shopping Trip but it's not necessary to read. This wasn't meant to be angst, it was going to be fluffy but ho-hum I guess, I lost control of writing this. Enjoy!

It was an adjustment, trying to train MK to begin to handle his new powers and form.

But a welcome one.

Wukong certainly seemed happier.

Macaque was trying his best to help MK adjust.

There was still some tension between the two mentors - things that were never truly going to be spoken about.

Moments they tried not to bring up again, like that night after the shopping trip.

But overall, things were calm.

“Hey Macaque, am I doing it right?” MK called.

Macaque's ears swivelled, pinpointing where the kid was in the trees below him.

“Yeah, that's great!” Wukong shouted from elsewhere.

The warrior dropped down a few branches before catching his tail around the branch above him and hanging, swinging slightly.

MK was in the tree across from him, tail wound tightly around the branch.

“Looser, you're gonna hurt yourself if your tail is that tight around the branch,” Macaque advised.

MK’s face fell. “What if I drop out of the tree?”

“If you do then I'll catch you in a portal, you'll be fine, I promise,” Macaque soothed, holding MK's own golden gaze.

The boy nodded, the brown furred appendage loosening as his brow furrowed with concentration.

“That's it. See? That wasn't so-”

MK dropped like a stone, plummeting down through the tree cover.

“Shit,” Macaque swore, kicking off of the branch to dive into a shadow portal and out into the air where MK should be falling.

Nothing. Thin air.

The shadow dived through another portal, depositing himself onto a lower branch. “MK?!”

“It's okay!” The kid shouted from a short way above him. “Monkey King caught me!”

Macaque let out a relieved breath, scaling up the tree before looking across a few branches at where the other two were. “Hey.”

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Wukong teased, holding their shared apprentice under one arm.

Macaque rolled his eyes, hopping over to stand next to him. “Says the guy who wasn't watching our kid while he was practising with his powers.”

“Um, I'm not your kid, I'm Pigsy's kid,” MK corrected, squirming out of Wukong's grip. “I'm taking a lunch break!”

“Okay kid, go chill for a bit, you've earned it,” the king responded, smiling as he watched the boy leave.

With a sigh he turned back to the warrior. “We should probably take a break too.”

“I can keep going.”

“We both know you're lying so shut up,” Wukong deadpanned with a frown.

Macaque blinked, taken aback by the turn of seriousness.

“C'mon, let's go get lunch,” Wukong said, back to his usual cheery disposition as he grabbed Macaque's wrist and began to lead him through the trees.

It felt strange, being welcome back on Flower Fruit Mountain.

Like hundreds of years hadn't passed.

“Moonbeam, stop stealing all my snacks!”

“But they're tasty!”

“Doesn't mean you can have them whenever you want!”

No, no point getting caught up in the past.

That was before everything happened.

“Mac, you good there?”

Macaque snapped back out of his thoughts, looking at Wukong before down to their now joined hands.

When did that happen?

“Y-yeah, I'm fine.”

Wukong frowned. “Looking a bit shook up. Did MK falling really freak you out that much?”

“Be careful up there, sunburst!”

“I'm fine, starlight!”

“Nope, you're totally going to fall!”

“Wow, how supportive of you! Thanks sooooo much!”

“Yeah, guess I just got worried,” Macaque mumbled the excuse, trying to block out memories he didn't ask for.

Memories of times that it hurt to remember, no matter how happy they were.

Wukong fully turned to him, concern swimming in those golden pools that were focused on him. “Macaque? What's wrong? As in what's really wrong?”

Macaque bit the inside of his lip, thinking it over for a moment before replying. “It's nothing, really. Let's go get food.”

The warrior withdrew his hand from the king's, skipping down branches before falling into a shadow portal that took him to the ground.

Air strangled in his throat as he looked at the clearing in front of him, at the one blooming tree that stood alone in the centre.

He remembered this tree.

He remembered climbing it, chasing his friend through the branches before settling down at the base and crashing out from exhaustion, held in an embrace that was as warm as the sun.

“Bud, are you sure you aren't sick or something?” Wukong questioned quietly as he landed beside him, one hand moving to rest on his shoulder. “You can go home and get some rest if you need.”

“I'm fine,” Macaque breathed, slowly walking over to the tree and tracing his hand over the gnarled bark.

The warrior let his head fall forward and rest against the tree, ears pricking as he heard a few of the other inhabitants skittering around in nearby foliage.

The shadow looked up as the king dropped down beside him with a flurry of blossom petals. “Gonna be honest, I kinda forgot that the peaches won't grow on this for a while.”

The sunlight glimmered behind him, framing his face with a shining glow.

It was radiant.

He was radiant.

It almost distracted Macaque from what he'd said.

“So there isn't going to be anything to eat?” Macaque fixed Wukong with the most unimpressed look he could muster.

“I can-”

“No Wukong, I am not eating your hair.”

“Well then, I got nothing,” Wukong said with a shrug, flipping down out of the tree onto the ground beside him.

Macaque conjured a shadow portal, gesturing to it - and was then thoroughly annoyed when Wukong didn't go through.

“You'll be fine, it's just back to your place.”

The king hesitantly went through and Macaque followed him, closing that one before summoning a smaller one.

One hand reached in and grabbed out a couple packets of crisps before throwing one at Wukong.

“There you go. Try and keep track of the seasons next time.”

Wukong ripped it open, hungrily shoving the cooked potato slices into his mouth. “Mmm! Thank you!”

“Chew with your mouth closed, unhygienic asshole,” Macaque grumbled, walking out of the building and over to where MK was, back to his human form. “Heya kid.”

“Hi Macaque,” MK greeted, one arm slung over his face from where he was lying on the ground.

The warrior prodded at him. “You good?”

The kid let out a groan. “No, don't do that, I'm in so much pain.”

Macaque immediately scanned him for injuries, tail lashing worriedly behind him. “Shit, where did you hurt yourself?”

MK shifted his arm, squinting up at his mentor. “Hurt myself, what? No, I just think that using my powers has drained all my energy.”

Macaque took in a deep breath, calming his nerves. “Yeah, okay, that would make sense.”

MK sat up. “You okay? You seem really shaken up.”

“Moonbeam, what is it, what happened? How can I help? Please, Macaque, tell me what's wrong.”

Macaque grabbed his left arm with the other, stopping the slow shaking that had started up at that most recent flash of memory. “It's nothing MK, don't worry about it.”

The apprentice looked sceptical but stood up. “Okay then. I'm going to say bye to Monkey King. I'll see you again tomorrow Macaque.”

“See ya kid.”

Macaque opened up a shadow portal, dropping into the space between places.

His quiet place, where nothing mattered.

Where he could just let his emotions vent.

The shadows swirled in a torrent around him, blocking out anything that he might have been able to sense from outside.

Why now?

Why those memories of all things?

He was only just fixing their friendship he shouldn't-

He shouldn't be thinking about when they were more.

He could feel himself fracturing, becoming one with the shadows surrounding him.

No.

Not again.

He pulled back the strings of his consciousness, gathering them back to his body.

One hand reached up to trace over the scar that covered most of the right side of his face, over the marred flesh that twisted over his features.

He was fine.

Yes, he was fine.

~•~

Wukong blinked his eyes open at the sound of shuffling from elsewhere, instincts blaring an alarm at the threat of an intruder.

Then his memory kicked in, shutting off those instincts.

It was just Macaque, staying over to seemingly make sure that he ate something.

Wukong watched as the warrior was silhouetted by the moon as he stood in the doorway, a gasp strangling in the king's throat.

There were six ears to that silhouette.

Something was definitely wrong.

Macaque had been acting off all day, acting distant - although that wasn't new - and even nostalgic if possible.

“Sunburst, let me clean that wound for you.”

And it made him feel nostalgic as well.

Of things that had been that could never be again.

Wukong dragged himself up, following Macaque as he left.

It was strange, having him back.

Not the same as he used to be.

Not his shadow.

His warrior.

His moonbeam.

His starlight.

“Your starlight huh? You sound like a sentimental fool.”

“Maybe I am.”

“You're so annoying.”

“But you love me anyway.”

The king swallowed around the thickness in his throat, eyes scanning over the treeline.

He didn't have perfect hearing like Macaque but he did have gold vision.

The sage closed his eyes and then reopened them, flitting across his surroundings and sighing when he couldn't spot the familiar form he was searching for.

“Macaque, where are you?”

“Right here.”

Wukong practically jumped out his skin, turning around and hissing at his friend. “Fucking shit you scared me!”

Macaque just moved closer and dropped his head to Wukong's shoulder, hands grabbing tightly onto his sides.

“Mac? What is it, what happened?” The king whispered. “How can I help?”

The hands only tightened at his sides, claws digging into his skin slightly.

“Please, Macaque, tell me what's wrong.”

Dampness soaked into his skin and Wukong's eyes widened, concern properly overtaking him; he hadn't seen Macaque cry in forever.

Not since before.

“I don't want to.”

“Go away Wukong. I'm fine. Just leave me.”

Similar venom coating his words both times, trying to push him away.

Wukong moved to brush his hands up and down the shadow's back, trying to soothe him.

“Please? Moonbeam?” He tried.

Macaque tensed under his grip.

Okay, maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

“I just want to help.”

Macaque moved away, stepping so he was a short distance away.

Tear tracks glinted in the moonlight down his cheeks.

“I don't know how to get it to go away.” Macaque's voice cracked, looking down at his shaking hands. “I have these feelings that I don't want and it won't go away and I hate it.”

Wukong reached out for him. “Macaque…”

The warrior moved away from him, pacing as he ranted.

“And they won't stop. It was fine before everything with Azure happened and I thought I was okay but when me and MK were looking for you I saw us. From before. And I don't know what to do about it now.”

Macaque turned to face him, a hysterical expression on his face as he dragged one hand back over his head.

“Wukong it doesn't make any fucking sense! I was fine before but now I'm not! I didn't feel any of this up until recently and now it is threatening to ruin everything!”

His face fell, lip quivering.

“And I don't want that. I'm the closest I've been to happiness since coming back.”

“You know, peaches, I think this is the happiest I've ever been.”

“Yeah, me too moonbeam.”

“And I don't-” Macaque paused, taking a deep breath. “I don't want to fuck it up.”

“Fuck what up?” Wukong asked, slowly approaching him.

Macaque let out a sob, more tears sliding down his cheeks. “Our friendship. I keep thinking about before and I don't even know if we'd work like that anymore! You killed me and yet I still care for you.”

“You're so lucky I care for you.”

“I know I am.”

“I still care for you,” Wukong admitted quietly, just loud enough for Macaque alone to hear, gently grabbing Macaque's hand.

The warrior looked up at him, shaking his head slowly. “No. There's- there's so much else going on, we-”

“Who cares?” The king reached his other hand up to cup the shadow's cheek. “Who cares? Yes, you were right, this probably is the calm before the storm. But I have regretted what I did since the second it happened.”

Even now flashes of Macaque's corpse plagued his mind, sticky blood coating his body.

Never feeling fully rid of it.

“Please, Macaque, I can't lose you again,” Wukong all but begged. “I spent centuries trying to remember everything I could about you and then you finally showed back up and I-”

He looked away from Macaque.

“I only pushed you away more. And I need to make up for that.”

Forced his gaze back to meet Macaque's.

“I can't lose you again.”

Macaque stepped away, gaze flitting around wildly. “No, no, Wukong, we can't.”

“Why not?!” Wukong asked, voice rising.

Macaque flinched further away from him, all six ears pressing back.

“I need to go.”

“No, Macaque, please don't leave again.”

Something flickered across the warrior's face, there and gone within the span of a second.

All too late the king noticed the portal of shadows under Macaque's feet.

“I'm sorry Wukong.”

The sage threw himself onto the ground that the shadow had disappeared into, one fist pounding against the dirt.

“Hey, Wukong, look! I made a little portal!”

No.

“Wukong, are you sure this is a good idea?”

No.

“No, that's you! You're the one who's always running off! Looking for more power, more sources of immortality! You're the one who wouldn't quit while we were ahead! Not the Great Sage, he's got to drag everyone else into his mess!”

No!

“Please, just come back,” he cried, slumping against the floor. “I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry.”

“The two of you are such a mess.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Come on! Show me the real Sun-Wukong! The old you would have levelled this whole mountain range to stop me! But you're scared of hurting some kid. Pathetic!”

“I'm sorry!”

“Macaque told me a story one time about you two. Well, not me specifically. But he said about how you two were like the sun and the moon. You and him sure used to be close, didn't you Monkey King?”

“Macaque, I'm sorry,” Wukong repeated. “I'm sorry I was so obsessed with power. I'm sorry I forgot about you.”

The tingling sensation of something brushing past him.

“And I'm sorry that we'll never be able to go back to what we used to be.”

“We could,” Wukong said, frowning when nothing was behind him.

Macaque had always loved mind games but he didn't feel like this was the time for them.

“Because years worth of battles can just be forgotten? Brushed over? Crossed out and not written into the history books?”

The voice echoed around him, wind swirling and buffering the treetops.

“No but we could work through it,” Wukong responded. “I love you, I don't want to fight again.”

The wind died down and the shadow cast from him by the moon, violet eyes opening and staring at him.

“Really? You aren't just saying that?”

“Fuck, no, of course not,” Wukong near cried.

The shadow's eyes narrowed, as if in contemplation.

“I need some time.”

“We have all the time in the world, Macaque, a whole universe to explore!”

“Can we just stay here for a little longer though?”

“Of course.”

“You know me. All the time in the world,” the sage replied, trying to ignore the pang in his chest as the shadow's eyes closed.

It was something.

They had… they had something.

[lilolilyr]

I have an idea for an Andromaquynh modern AU fanfic

In it, Quynh moves back home to her parents after getting a degree at university she isn't really sure she can or wants to use. She used to think that she's a city girl despising the suburbs she grew up in, but now she thinks she was wrong about that or maybe her preferences changed, she doesn't much like the cities she studied in anymore, first she thinks it's because she studied abroad (in the countries of her ancestors) and could never quite connect to the culture there, but visiting a friend in a city in her home country shows her it isn't just that, she just prefers a quieter environment

In the meantime, her parents have moved to a different part of town and it doesn't really feel like coming home at all. Quynh still struggles with her place in life, she doesn't want to hang around on her parents' couch doing nothing forever but she doesn't know what else to do either and the thought of a regular 9-5 job in an office terrifies her, she has done enough internships in that kind of environment to know she can't stand it for long

Quynh starts taking long walks through the countryside, for her health because she hasn't really found any sports/active hobbies in the area yet (that's an aspect she really liked about the cities, there's always something interesting going on, she used to dance and try out things like shooting with bow&arrow and axe throwing), and to have quiet time to think away from her family. That way she gets to know the area quite well - she actually already knows it a bit because she really didn't live far away as a kid, but she never really walked through the fields on this side of the suburbs before

On her walks she sometimes comes across equestrians, and one time a horse throws off its rider and she ends up catching the animal, which doesn't seem to mind people in general just people trying to climb and sit on it - it won't stay the last time she comes across that particular animal, and she thinks she understands the horse quite well what with not wanting to do jobs they don't like just to be allowed to live comfortably.

Andy's the owner of the horse riding school, and when a girl falls off her horse (probably the one that doesn't much like its riders, Quynh calls it Big Guy lovingly not knowing what it's actually called) and needs medical attention, Quynh ends up taking the horse back to the stables and meets Andy there.

There's a bit of an age-gap between them and even once they meet and fall in love Andy is reluctant to commit to Quynh out of fear of tying Quynh to a life she might not really want, meanwhile Quynh is finally figuring out her place in life and she wants to stay with Andy.

I'll probably never write the full fanfic, I just don't have the time and motivation for it. If anyone's interested in getting the draft and adopting it, I'd love to hand it over for you to write it!

Post is okay to reblog :)

The draft I have is pretty much in bullet points atm, but I'd even go over it and clean it up a bit if someone's really interested in adopting the fic, and I'd be open to either chatting about it and giving more input, or you taking it and doing your own thing with it!

I don't have the time to write a longfic atm and I feel like what with the plot I'm thinking of, it really needs to be 10 or even 20k minimum to start doing it justice... That being said if sb wants to try writing a shorter version or is inspired by it to write anything similar, absolutely feel free! Just pls lmk once it's done so I can read it :D

I also already wrote a college AU horse girl!Andy longfic before, and while that one was happier and this one would probably have quite some angsty vibes before reaching its happy ending, it still kind of feels like I've done this before, also reducing my motivation for it even more :( which is a pity really because I do really like the idea.

If you want to take on the story reply to this or send me an ask/dm and we can figure out how to do this, discord/email/docs or whatever :)

My tog tag list - I know it's been ages, if anyone wants off this list or if someone new wants on it, please let me know! -: @bobeau-beaubo @lesbianlotties (daniwouldnever) @ongreenergrasses @eyeh0rr0r @cantteachanoldguardnewquotes @badwolfkaily @andramaquynhs @depresbianintheclassicalsense @andy-the-scythian @cryhardanddanceharder @my-gaydar-is-on-point @spookyvoidangelskeleton @bookerandy @jackwolfskid @cinnamonplums @cruzwalters @kayivy @blacks-phoenix @binariesarebullshit @tea-lizzard @prevalent-masters @aftermillennia @youssefguedira (pierremichelofavignon) @salzundhonig @moonlightbuckley @genyathefirebird (rupzydaisy) @nickydestati @after-a-millennium @spacewitchqueen @damnbert @not-so-good-omen (innocent-gayngel) @rhubarbdreams-blog @bedalk

[kissorkill16]

Fill My Empty Heart: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: After Mya's death, Aaron committed suicide. Mr. Peterson, desperate to have a family again, kidnaps the depressed and heartbroken child across the street, Nicky Roth.

Chapter 8

Nicky couldn't have been happier when he saw his friends. They saw him, they knew he was here.

He waved them over and they immediately came running.

Nicky ran to the back door of the house, and saw them hiding behind a bush. He waved at them and they waved back.

"Guys, all of the doors and windows are locked. So you guys wait here while I go and find the keys.", he whispered.

Thankfully, his friends could read lips. They nodded.

Nicky walked to the kitchen, and he saw Mr. Peterson sitting at the table, reading the newspaper.

Nicky took a deep breath, "You can do this, Nicky.", he mumbled. He walked into the kitchen, a forced smile on his face.

"Hey, Dad...", he awkwardly said, waving a little. Mr. Peterson looked at him for a brief moment before he smiled and waved back, then he focused his attention back on the newspaper.

"It's a really beautiful day.", said Nicky, trying to make a little small talk.

He only received a hmm in response.

"Y'know,...days like this are really good to spend time doing some activities."

"Mhmm."

Nicky looked down at the floor, not wanting to see his angry expression when he asked what he was trying to get at. "Maybe I could...go outside...?"

Mr. Peterson put his paper down and focused his attention on Nicky, and he didn't look too happy. "Nicholas...", he said in a low voice, "Come here."

Nicky stepped back and shook his head, but Mr. Peterson wasn't having it.

"Come here now."

Just like that, Nicky quickly stepped towards the man, his eyes still focused on the floor. Mr. Peterson patted his leg, so Nicky sat on the man's lap. The man tilted his head and made him stare at his dull, flat, dark green eyes.

"Darling, how many times do I have to keep telling you this? You stay here where you're safe.", he said, leaving no room for argument.

"You know the rules."

Nicky looked down at the floor again, feeling defeated. "I'm not allowed to go outside."

Mr. Peterson patted Nicky on the head, smiling at him. "Good boy."

As he stepped off of his lap, he had another idea. "Well, if I can't go outside, then can we at least play a game?"

"Hmm?"

"I think it'd be a great way to entertain myself since I can't go anywhere for my safety.", said Nicky.

Mr. Peterson stood up and bent down to meet the boy's level, "That sounds wonderful, sweetheart. What do you want to play?"

Nicky tapped his chin and pretended to think, "How about...hide and seek?"

"Oh that's such a great game!", said Mr. Peterson. "Do you want to hide first and I try to find you?"

Nicky nodded. "Alright, how high do you want me to count?"

"60, count to 60."

Mr. Peterson turned around to face the wall and put his hands over his eyes, "Alright, honey. I'm ready when you are."

As Mr. Peterson started to count, Nicky immediately ran upstairs and tried to search any place where those keys could be. But unfortunately, like he read in the rules that Mr. Peterson made him read, all of the doors were locked.

He was panicking as he heard Mr. Peterson get closer to 60, but he wasn't giving up so easily. He would find a key and get the hell out of this house and away from this psycho.

When he tried Mr. Peterson's room, he was surprised to find it opened. He didn't question it though.

He ran all around the room, searching for any type of key to any type of exit, door or window. When he finally found a red key, he nearly jumped in excitement.

"Yes!", he said, but his victory was short lived as he heard footsteps coming from the hallway.

"Nicky.", he heard Mr. Peterson call out. "Darling, I know you're up here somewhere."

Nicky quickly ducked under the bed and held his breath as he heard Mr. Peterson enter the room. It was uncomfortably quiet for a moment, but then Nicky nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand pull him out from under the bed by his shoulder.

"There you are, sweetie! I found you!", Mr. Peterson excitedly said. Nicky fake smiled with him, but his heart nearly plummeted when he saw the man stick out his hand.

"Now dear, the key. Give it to me."

Nicky hid the key behind his back, "Key? I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't -"

"Sweetie, don't lie to me. I know you have one of the keys.", said Mr. Peterson, this time sounding more serious than usual. "Give the key to daddy and maybe I might consider going easy on you."

It was quiet for a moment, before Nicky kicked Mr. Peterson in the stomach and ran out of the room. He ran down the stairs and straight to the front door, he tried unlocking it, but he felt two big, strong, broad, firm arms wrap around him.

Nicky started kicking and flailing, trying to break out of Mr. Peterson's grip, but it was no use. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he felt a sting in his neck, and everything was starting to go dark.

"I think someone needs a nap.", said Mr. Peterson.

That was the last thing Nicky heard before he dropped the key and was fully unconscious.

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Well, while I write long ahh first chapter of fanfic abt Breakdown, I want to talk about his partner, Knock Out. It's an addition to this post , specifically KO's reasons to join Decepticons.

Basically, my headcanon is that he never wanted to join. KO was a medic, which was pretty high in a Cybertronian caste system, so he didn't care much for slaves. Knock Out has never went to Kaon or Slaughter City, cuz he lived far away from them. So when the war started our hot doctor had no intentions of joining Decepticons, cuz he is basically something this faction hated. Yet he wasn't given much choice, when his residence got attacked very early in the war. Citizens and KO himself try to protect their home, but instead of leaving, former slaves occupied this place. After some battles, city lost and Knock Out had to give in, so he won't be abused/killed. He never was loyal to their cause, he just wanted to survive. And once he did join it never was comfortable, sensing his own unstable position. As it was shown in TFP Knock Out is necessary only until he can provide something useful for Megatron (in his case: medical care). Ofc he won't be killed or left for dead, but it doesn't mean he won't be mocked/scratched. I think this hc matches his pretty cowardly personality and explain his rather quick change of fractions.

But "Why" You might ask "our hottie would stay if he never believed Megatron's ideas?". I hc that he's scared for his life. Between decepticons, that possessed more than 80% of the planet their fighting for and have most of the energon's supplies, and Autobots, that are persecuted and are in minority, the safest (not the best, but safest) is the former. KO knows how Megatron treats his pupil, and might have even guessed that Autobots are different, but even when they left Cybertron, Megatron's party is still more stable.

Honestly, I want to talk abt KOBD for a sec. Don't get me wrong, you can hc whatever you want, but no matter how much I love their pairing, I'm not fond of thinking that KO became a decepticon only cuz he fell in love with our beloved brute. Idk, I think it takes something from doctor's character. Like if we think a bit we can deduce BD's reasons to join. And KO doesn't have it which makes him a bit... Plain??? I guess??

Again, you can headcanon whatever you want, but I just don't believe in this love at first sight or even that doctor's willing to sacrifice his own finish for someone ever.

I hc that KOBD met when they both were already decepticons and fell in love after. And here's some hcs as a treat.

When Breakdown entered KO's live he became less stiff. When Knock Out joined he was more preserved, for he was scared to say too much. But this blue bot made him feel safer and more comfortable, since now he had someone who won't kill you for your opinions and feelings. And red con also made yellow eyed bot happier. After loosing his old friends he finally found someone to care about and who cares about you back unconditionally. They're in love. And even the coldest corridors of Nemesis were warmer, when KOBD were together.

I hope you liked ted talk:D